Another Below Deck Podcast - The Beauty of Mayonnaise | Below Deck S11 E14
Episode Date: May 7, 2024Pat and Dylan are back to break down the power of mayonnaise, garnishes, supportive and loving sisters, cranes and more from Bravo's Below Deck.Ad Free and Uncensored at Patreon.com/AnotherPodcastNetw...orkYoutube at https://www.youtube.com/@anotherbelowdeckpodcast_Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/badtvpodcast/Facebook Group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/anotherbelowdeckpodcast
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This is crazy. Okay, so he's a big self-help podcast guy.
And instead of listening to us, you know, because we would help him be a better person.
Oh, yeah.
He's listening to a goddamn podcast about cranes.
What?
Cranes.
Well, that was what the podcast was about.
What?
I think he wanted to be a crane operator or something like that.
No, no.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, no.
Yeah.
No, no.
Yeah.
No. He went to his apartment. His dream board has a bunch of cranes on it. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no. No, no, no. No.
You went to his apartment.
His dream board has a bunch of cranes on it.
What's going on here?
OK.
So and this happens to me too, like when you're watching the show.
We watch the show so much.
But there are like, there are like brief milliseconds
where you just lose your mind.
Right.
And that's clearly what's happened to you this evening.
He was a crane operator and he started to listen to podcasts.
Hi, hello and welcome aboard another brand spank new episode of another below deck podcast. My name is Dylan.
I'm settled up next to one Patrick Hickey.
Permission to come aboard.
Granted.
What's up?
I'm not much just hanging out.
Yeah.
Hanging and banging.
Do these mics sound different?
I like them.
They sound good.
Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So we have to break down an episode of below deck.
And coming up, we'll do that. But first public service announcements,
you have a ton. Oh yeah, this is exciting. Yeah. So on our bad TV feed,
which you're probably listening to this podcast on,
there's a second show every week that Dylan and I just, what do you call it?
Gab and the goof.
Gab and the goof.
This week I invited Dylan to go see Bill Burr
at the Hollywood Bowl.
And things didn't go well, mainly because Bill Burr sucks.
He's a greedy jerk off who thought it was a good idea
to make 18,000 people lock up their phones for two hours.
So he's an asshole.
And we get into that over there.
But if you're a big Bill Burr fan, I think you'll still enjoy it.
Yeah.
A harrowing tale of an evening at the Hollywood Bowl.
Forty minutes of just us going through absolute misery.
It was a miserable night.
Absolute misery. Patreon.com slash another podcast network
is where you can go to listen to ad free episodes.
All the more things are all the more
at patreon.com slash another podcast network.
But Pat, let's get into below deck.
Okay. Okay.
It's episode 50.
We're at that part of the season
where it feels like it's episode 50, but things
are nice.
You know?
Well, at the end of this episode, I'm like, it's all coming together.
Like relationships are being mended.
Right.
People are forgiving one another.
Right.
I mean, it's all perfect.
Right.
But it can never be perfect.
And there's a bomber going over our heads just really quickly.
But yeah, the season has been a
B minus the whole way through yeah, I kind of enjoyed it. Yeah. Um, yeah, I can't hate on it I think we got a couple episodes left. Yeah, and then we'll start I think we're gonna jump back to med
We're skipping over sailing. Yeah forgoing that for whatever reasons Gary. Well, I mean Gary King and then also, you know
I don't know if Glenn has been caught yet. I don't know if they're keeping that under wraps
I don't know if he got a little cute and started wearing skin out in public
Which is something that he usually never does but yeah
We'll see sailing when we see sailing and it was probably the sexual assault of Gary King because Glenn is allegedly
Glenn is way too allegedly a buttoned up
slayer for any kind of thing like that to have happen.
So tonight's episode, we have an episode.
You thought it was a bad episode or a good episode?
I thought it was just an episode.
It's what we call filler in the business.
It certainly was an episode.
It really didn't need to exist except for seeing,
you know, Barbie finally found herself.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, there's nothing that helps you
kind of get to the root of your shit
quicker than talking to a super supportive sister
on the phone.
That's right.
Who isn't like mean or like wicked or like,
like,
or recommend you get in a time machine and somehow unbang that guy.
Right. Right. Right.
I don't know how Barbie would do that.
Well, the technology doesn't exist to go back in time and unbang people.
Nor do I think it ever will exist.
You know,
we'll probably wipe ourselves off the face of the planet before you can go back
and unbang somebody.
Well, it sure helped. Cause I don't know if you knew this,
but Barbie's dad's pretty conservative. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, um, you know,
one of the highlights of the episode, you know, Alex and the chart, I guess,
and Barbie's dad is, is to, uh, the grooves have been filled at this point,
right? He's a mangled old man.
But you know what can change?
Barbie's mindset.
Yeah, yeah.
Be a fly girl.
Be Rosie Perez now that you've had that unbelievably
supporting sister talk to you.
Well, she wasn't a supporter.
She asked her to buy a time machine
so she could go back in time and unbang Kyle.
That's true, that's true.
Because it would embarrass the family.
No, the sister was quite a bitch.
You know what I liked about the episode, Dylan?
Yeah.
Those Yelp elites, you know, those influencer types?
Oh, we got a sound effect.
Hey. Oh.
What are you taking a picture of over there?
Oh, it's a shutter.
Oh wow, a ladybug on a brown banana?
I think that's a fly on a piece of shit.
Yeah, what?
Huh? Oh, you're going, you're going, okay. Yeah're going to post that. Who's going to want to see that?
Literally a fly hanging out on a piece of shit. Right. Right. Right.
Post it though.
You know what I admire about what just happened? Clearly it was like horrible.
Right. But you did it again. I recovered. Right.
So how many episodes would you give the. Alright, first
off, I want to get to my other thoughts. Okay. Mayonnaise straight to the mouth. Look, Paris,
I'm a married man. Uh, if you were looking at, if I was in the market for you, uh, I'll
tell you, uh, you, uh, taking that mayonnaise down straight. You just punched your ticket
to re rejection town. Sure. And she could have rejected you in this hypothetical, but
who knows? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah., drinking mayonnaise straight out of the tube is right is worse than farting in a kid's face as far as this podcaster stands
Well, I mean, you know, let's beat that out
You know, there are a lot of scenarios where farting in a child's face would be absolutely hilarious
It's good point decent episode 80 knots. I thought It's a good point. Decent episode, 80 knots.
I thought it was a good episode. Shitbag nipples continues to be a bag of shit and
giant nipples. I mean the guy is... we'll get into...
Well I have to say, Sonny has no agency.
Of course Sonny does. Sonny has agency, but Son Sunny's been, alright, alright, so we've got a Komodo dragon
and we've got some type of massive hooved animal, okay?
I'm not commenting on Sunny's weight, obviously she's not a cow or some kind of jungle dwelling.
Not everything of the sort, she's a beautiful flower.
But Ben is a prehistoric monster with poison in his saliva.
Okay, so she gets fucked by this dragon, right?
And she doesn't feel well.
She's like, I think that some of the saliva
from that dragon is in me and it's making me die.
But the dragon's like, I wanna break up with you.
And she's like, well, how could you do that?
You're like, that's so crazy that you're trying
to actively kill me and now you're breaking up with me.
I don't like your behavior, right? But then the next day the sun rises on wherever these two things
live. It's a new day. And they fuck again. That's crazy. It's like, what are you thinking, Hooved Animal?
What are you actually fucking thinking? I hadn't realized. Does that make sense?
Kind of. Okay. I probably should smoke more weed to make it make more sense me no me oh, okay
Yeah, yeah, no, I don't need to smoke any more weed
Well, I didn't realize how much people couldn't stand up Ben
I was like he's a player and he's a jerk off people. Fuck boy. Yeah, they people hate him. Yeah, that's right
Because he will get to it
Frazier
Listen, are you still in your knots?
for knots, I think that the
You know there may be trouble in River City with us and Frazier. No, no, no. We're buddies.
Well...
We'll see.
But, you know, if the bridge is starting to fracture, let's just fucking detonate it, right?
Frazier was a massive...
Jackal tonight. You think so? Absolutely.
Alright, so you're referring to him going after Chef Nick for not putting parsley on the plate.
Well, okay, so the adamant opinion to Dorcia, every single plate that comes up to the table,
is one, it's insane, but but two to send your Sea Rats to
do your own bidding that is where you know but we're gonna get into all that. You're referring to
Fraser indoctrinating Paris to do his dirty work. Yes. I see what you're saying.
Can we begin the episode where with us waking up at the start of a new day?
Yes. Charter guest Alex who I've come to like we've gone back and forth on the
social meets he's with Captain Carrie and they got a cup of Joe and they're on the bow of that boat. Yeah, and Alice Alex ass
He's like this is how you start your day every day and Captain Carrie says yeah, it's a it's a beautiful thing
And Alex goes yeah, it is a beautiful thing and then Carrie adds
Have you ever seen man grows up close?
They're the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in your life.
Now there are two really uncomfortable conversations this morning.
One between Ben and Sonny, right?
Komodo dragon-hipped animal.
And the other between this man and this captain.
These are the kinds of conversations that, I mean, I've said it before, they make my
bones itch.
It's just like, you two shouldn't be speaking to each other, right?
So things are moving along.
Breakfast is Benedict, right?
Because what else could it be?
It's obviously going to be Benedict.
And we get to Frasier.
All right.
So some confusion on Patty's part about oil on the plate.
What's this all about?
What was the hubbub about this?
No clue.
Okay.
Olive oil is a common finishing, you know, trick of the trade. Adds a richness,
pepperiness, you know, depending on where you source your olive oil from. Here's my
thing. But you usually would not garnish a plate that had Benedict on it with
olive oil. That
doesn't make any sense. And it was Frazier that was pushing for that,
correct? I think Frazier was pushing for some kind of insanity that, you know, the
chef being a, you know, he's a chauvinist drug addict, you know, they all are, but
you know, he was right in this. He's like, you know, you want me to
plate like everyone is on cocaine in 1985. Or in Vegas right now. Like, do you want me to plate like everyone is on cocaine in 1985.
Or in Vegas right now.
Like do you want cotton candy here?
I mean.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, so I actually like Chef Nick.
There's something off about him.
I don't understand the roughness.
Well, he's a Sea Rat.
He's a long running Sea Rat, 11 years.
He's got a lot of Sea Rat history under his belt.
I do want to go back to the social media
and how sad it is.
These Yelp elites and influencers
Social media I understand and I'm sure everyone does the girl with the nice booty
It's on Instagram with a million followers big fat ass. Well, whatever she's got a nice. She's emrata. She's hawking some fucking
Underwear line or skincare line you've got you've got sick tits and a sick book, right?
But the people that are unironically taking pictures of their entree at Olive Garden, those people are sad.
I have a friend that always posts pictures of him smoking a cigar in his inflatable hot tub that he bought from Costco.
And it's like sad. Like it's doing the exact opposite of what I think you're attempting to convey, which is success.
But you can buy one of those things at Costco for $300.
I think, and bear with me, I think Kafka was kind of a pussy, or at least he didn't know
how bad life could get.
Because Kafka was witnessing-
Did he write The Beetle?
Metamorphosis, The Beetle, aka The Beetle.
Okay, that's sad.
Super sad, right?
These existentialists had never,
you know, they had encountered plagues
and you know, what have you,
and poverty and stuff like that.
But they had never seen someone post pictures
of themselves night after night
in an inflatable hot tub from Costco.
Now I understand that those things hadn't existed,
but if they had, they would not have penned those terms. They would have just blown their fucking brains out because that's
so sad. Turn me into a beetle. Turn me into another beetle.
When you put it that way. Yeah. So, um, the bidding of Paris to go do his bidding
bidding of Paris to go do his bidding is subhuman behavior. I mean over what? Over parsley? Over non-Italian fluffy little flakes of parsley? I mean what are
we doing here, Frazier? Here's where I can appreciate, I'm gonna be devil's advocate
here for Frazier. Yeah. I can appreciate a two prong approach
to trying to form someone's opinion.
You hear it from two people.
I mean, it's manipulative, fine.
You're Robert Greening all over the place right now.
Okay.
You're Robert Greening all over the place right now.
Here is my second thing, Chef Nick makes sense.
No one's complaint.
Like, I need more sliced watermelon off the side
of my plate or cut into a star or something. Like no one's asking for that. So then leave it alone,
Frazier. Sure. And then next time, prior to the next charter, have a sit down with him and Carrie.
Let it be. Let it be. Do you think I sing well?
It's not bad. You have a pretty good tone.
Okay, thank you. So Sonny is awkwardly tying zip chairs, five
star service. Five stars with zip ties.
Then we get to Barbie. What happens with Barbie?
Well, I appreciate this. So she's reflecting back and
mentioning for the 89th time that her dad is conservative.
Argentina is a very conservative place.
And the crack staff over in the editing booth at Bravo decided while she was talking about how conservative her dad was, they would show her
humping Kyle with that footage, that black life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it makes it, you know, Mary Poppins said, spoonful of sugar, right? So,
You know, Mary Poppins said, spoon full of sugar, right? So, we move on to spreadsheets.
Well, I don't want to skip over our charter guest, Zach.
Yeah.
He's not as prominent as Alex and Steven on this charter.
And we'll get to Tiffany later.
She's the one who wanted to kidnap Chef Nick
and shove him up her pussy.
Charter guest.
I think, I think she said pocket. Oh, she didn't say cooch.
No, but it's interesting because you could look at the vagina as, you know, this utility.
Like a kangaroo. Right. It is a pocket, you know, if need be.
And that's what's so beautiful about the vagina. That's right. Well, you know, I, I would argue that chef Nick should have a say
in the matter. Hey, I didn't want to be in your pussy anymore.
Okay. And, and you know, how,
how would he get that small? I mean, we're tonight, tonight,
we're talking about tech that is one not existent,
but also dystopian.
You know, I don't want to live in a world
where I can be shrunk down to Matt Damon size
and shoved up someone's butt.
And only brought out in like an Uber Eats vagina type of deal
where you only show up when you're going to cook food, you know?
And did people say vagina a lot in Massachusetts?
Vagina, vagina.
So, all right, all right, hold on, hold on. Charter guest, Zach. Okay, he recounts because he's got a girlfriend now he fell in love
and the way he got there was 50 dates and 50 days and that's how he found the girlfriend that he
loves who by the way didn't make it on this vacation somehow that's how much he loves her
anyway that that's beside the point. She was being mouthy right before they took off. Right, right.
50 dates in 50 days it stars Justin Long and Reese Witherspoon and Pauly Shore will
be the best friend.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Except it won't be because nobody wants to watch a movie about somebody who dates with
spreadsheets, right?
Because you have to fall in love with the protagonist and there's no possible way to
fall in love with that.
So we get to Caesar wraps and mayonnaise with Paris and Nick.
I don't know if they were Caesar wraps or not.
I think it's just a golden rule.
Let a woman squirt mayonnaise in her mouth
like a fucking Aeoli gremlin, and never utter the word
chunky while she's doing it.
Can I say this, though?
We have quite the, with female sea rats,
you can lay on bed with Frazier, and he can call you a dirty
whore in bed, and you'll chuckle about it.
Chef Nick jokes that, hey, I forget what he said,
but it was not appropriate.
Yeah, he said if you get chunky and your boyfriend breaks up
with you, don't blame me.
But it also might have been less worse than that.
But it was still, don't, like I said.
You're not on that level and you're also not gay.
Right. OK. Right. You, right. So she's she's
squirting. Well, she's turning a condiment into an entree as
opposed to a condiment. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think it's
Hellman's too. I mean, that's nothing but, you know, seed oils
and acid. You know, fucking kill you. Yeah, just squirt it down
the old gullet. But yeah, definitely don't talk about her
weight while she's doing that. It's just and that's just a lesson that we learn and then we move on you know
But not without her and the audience hating you
so
Frazier breaks down the day and then we get some a
Little bit more chauvinism from from Nick. Yeah, he says I think you look like you could
He's behaving like a talk show host in the entirety of talk show hosts
In the entirety of late night had he has he uttered under his breath?
Everyone's incompetent. I'm not sure I'm not sure okay
I don't know what's going on with chef Nick, but clearly
He could explode and oh yeah, like some of the famous angry assholes from below deck history
Yeah, I think he's trying to maintain here, right?
But clearly he is a man that could at any moment lose his mind. Yeah, I don't throwing pants
I think things are slipping out right so the first stage is to start commenting on the weight and the physical strength of women
There are a couple other steps, and then we start throwing knives at people
Oh, and then we start saying why don't you go get a fucking dustpan in a vacuum, sweetie sure yeah?
Yeah, yeah, oh yeah cherry on top
so Ben goes down and says
To Kyle I Hey, bro. I I fixed it I showed that bitch who's boss
and Kyle being the lovely human being he is is like oh you know I appreciate it
but you know there are two sides to this and you didn't have to do whatever you
did nipples so Dylan we get a little sea red history another bomber flying
overhead but we get a little moreer at history another bomber flying overhead But we get a little more seer at history with Dylan. This is crazy
Okay, so he's a big self-help podcast guy and instead of listening to us, you know
Because we would help him be a better person. Oh, yeah, he's listening to a goddamn podcast about
cranes
What cranes
Well, that was what the podcast was about.
Well, I think he wanted to be a crane operator or something like
that. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. You went to his
apartment. His dream board has a bunch of cranes on. What's
going on here? Okay, so and this happens to me too. Like when
you're watching the show, we watch the show so much, but
there are like but there are like
There are like brief milliseconds where you just lose your mind
Right, and that's clearly what's happened to you this evening
He was a crane operator and he started to listen to podcasts and so right, you know, you know Dave Ramsey and
Who's the guy with all of the teeth?
Tony Robbins. Oh yeah, he's weird looking.
And the musings and the lessons from those shows told him that he wanted to
surround himself with the people that were going to emulate the kind of life,
the kind of man that he wanted to be, right? And so he chose yachting. Now the
difficulty with that decision is that I'm not sure if he wanted to be right and so he chose yachting. Now the difficulty with that decision is that I'm not sure if he wanted to be like the people that
chartered the yachts or Sea Rats but I think the motivation to make the move to
yachting regardless of the outcome insane right because you don't want to
surround yourself by Sea Rats. they're all they're all drunks
or And to go into yachting thinking that you're going to be around the people that you're serving
I mean they they find they think you're a sea rat so they're not gonna you know
I mean, it's just patently insane. They want to put cigarettes out on your head when you're not looking
Yeah, they want to you at all
Right. So we get to Frazier and Steven. Is that this man's name?
So we get to Frazier and Steven. Is that this man's name? Steven is the nice gentleman that they find each other very attractive.
Yeah, Frazier says I wonder what you would look like on your knees.
You know, the gays speed up the flirtation very quickly.
I appreciate the no need for bullshit.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so Barbie's phones, she phones her wicked her wicked stepsister who's super supportive and not hell spawn
Because you know the old saying if you couldn't feel any worse
Call your sister. That's right. And that's exactly what she does and Barbie sister
Like it. Yeah, just kind of guilt trips her quite a bit. She puts undue stress on the young woman, I feel.
Well this is when Barbie had that turn though.
She realizes, hey, I gotta be me.
I need to live life on my terms.
I need to express my true self and not the vision for my father or that judgy bitchy
sister of mine.
Dad's still gonna be pissed, but who gives a flying fuck?
I wanna fuck that drunk Scottishman.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
And I do.
Embarrassment for the family, be damned.
Be damned.
Damn you all.
I'm getting this pipe.
I think that's what she said.
She said, I'm getting this pipe on the show, in one of the OTFs.
So New Year's Eve kiss, anything before that?
Well, it's disgust.
But Frazier checks in with Captain Carey.
He says, hey, what if a charter guest wants a kiss?
And Carey says, well, I think that's sexual assault.
Yeah.
Well, what if I'm okay with it?
Well, then go nuts.
Go nuts.
Tonight's dinner is surf and turf because, of course it is.
How could it be anything but filet mignon and lobster.
Frazier has lost his Riz, but I think he'll be okay.
I think he said it was a like turn of phrase.
He says he's lost his fastballs.
Oh, wow.
That was clever.
Could you imagine how difficult would baseball be if they threw two balls at you at the same
time?
That's crazy.
Well, if they were connected in some kind of skin fabric together, you know, got it
Got it. By the way, so you turn you turn
baseball into a kind of like
Hannibal like carnival game where you throw flesh sacks of baseball. I've been saying it for years the MLB
They need some new tricks up their sleeve. Baseball is so boring. How about throw two balls at the same time?
Yeah.
I'd watch that sport.
How about once a game, someone has a sword,
and you don't know who.
They could be in the, you know, one of the coaches,
but they just run out towards the pitcher
and you have to detain them.
And sometimes people are harmed, but you know, we love a gladiatorial kind of thing.
They're always looking to find ways to make the game more exciting.
Right, yeah.
That would help.
Think about the impatience of the Romans.
They're like, you know, we're really sick of these guys killing each other.
Throw tigers in there.
How about some alligators?
And I know all of this history from the Ridley Scott film
Gladiator. Yeah, yeah, hey, by the way guys, I know sales are down in the Coliseum, you
know. Hey, we got this new guy, right? His name is Romulus. He's gonna come in here,
he's gonna break down a whole bunch of ideas. Yeah. I can't wait for you to meet
him. Yep. All right. Hi, I'm Romulus. Thanks for your time today. Hi, Romulus. I realize ticket sales are
down. I know, like, it's been like 10 years, people are already bored
of people cutting each other's heads off.
I totally understand.
Yeah.
OK?
We get a little numb to that, all right?
Yeah.
Here's what we're going to do.
We're going to flood the entire thing.
We're going to put Navy ships in there, OK?
Navy ships.
Yeah, yeah, we'll put Navy ships in there
with great white sharks.
Have you ever seen them?
Right.
No, no, no, I haven't.
OK, well, we'll chum the water. Don't worry about the language. I'll coach you up on that right? No, no, no, I haven't okay. Well, we'll chum the water
Don't worry about the language. Will you coach? Yeah, got it. Got it. And then we're gonna throw a bunch of our prisoners in there
Okay, okay. Cool. Cool ticket sales will be through the roof. Now, can I ask you?
Just while we're spitballing here
Because you're not the founder of Rome or anything. No, no, no, I'm a consultant a consultant. My name is Romulus. Your name is Romulus.
What about platforms? Do we have to put entire ships in there or can we just have platforms?
Look, don't get down with the details. Don't worry about it. Let's make it happen. And I'm also...
Let's make some Benjamins. I don't even think he exists. Romulus, one more thing. I'm a little
bit worried about how do we seal the fighting grounds so that water doesn't
spill everywhere once again you're getting stuck in the details okay down
to that let's right but killing going more killing so he said for dinner
lobster with grilled zucchini the Brits call them Courgettes
Really anybody who's trying to jack the price up of a zucchini calls it a courgette and
A split lobster bisque, which has not taken the nitrous in the canister
That was gross. Yeah, it's it's it's spews itself onto the plate in a D day, a D day kind of way,
wherein the entrails just kind of fall on to Normandy and the it's disgusting.
Quite frankly, I can't believe they served it.
Frazier should have patted down that whatever that fucking lobster was,
wherever the fuck it was with a towel and said, start making some foam, dude.
This is gross.
Right.
So, Frasier is appalled by this,
but I would say to Frasier that,
while it is sick, and it does look like, you know,
someone's screaming for their mother,
you just had Chef Anthony,
who would cry in the middle of service,
and then be seven hours late with
French toast. So I think we're we've got a market improvement here just objectively.
So we get some more feuding with Paris and Nick. Nick, calm down.
You know how temperamental these chefs are though, Dylan. And this is why I think Kerry kind of had his side when we get to it later in the episode with Frazier.
This is the... it's definitely the third, possibly fourth employee that Frazier is kind of dropping a dime on.
Right, right, right. Frazier does drop dimes.
Yeah.
But Nick is... Nick and Paris, this is a very confusing feud because Paris seems to have taken this garnish thing to heart. It's half bit, half true. It's this bizarre thing
where she's just prodding him with this garnish talk. The audience is gonna
attack me. Hey Paris hit me up if you think this is a patty was out of line
saying this. Sometimes when people hate each other out of the gate so much there
is some weird attraction there. I know that sounds odd. I've seen two people
hate each other and then like three times,
the third time they meet each other, they're making out at a party.
I've seen it. I'm just saying. Okay. Okay. Okay. I, um, yeah,
Paris hit Patty up, let Patty though, if Patty's off base,
you know, that's another thing that could improve baseball.
Who needs the bases, right?
Let's just have people running all over the place.
Do you know what I mean?
Yeah, I like that.
Everybody's running around, right?
If, and the sword is there too,
and we've got the pitch clock, you know, everybody,
it won't be that different.
Dylan, I'm gonna make a prediction MLB as it plays today.
Uh-huh.
It's got 20 years left in its existence before it has to start changing things.
I think they should like Mad Max Thunderdome shit, strap them up to these elastic things.
Yeah.
You swing the bat maybe and then you fly up to the top of the venue.
Yeah. And then you throw a rock and roll
sign up fireworks David Lee Roth plays. I like it. Yeah and then you throw your bat out into the
crowd and hopefully don't kill a six-year-old. No but sometimes that happens and that's part of the
game. That's what makes the game so exciting these days. Timmy didn't bring his mitt that day. I'm sorry
that's his fault. Yeah yeah yeah like yeah. Like, we want a stadium experience
where you have to wear a fucking suit of armor
to go to those games.
Otherwise, you're just not safe.
So the course, the second course is an overcooked loin
with broccoli and potatoes.
So that is, you know, when Malaysian airlines do not get
intercepted by god knows what and vanish,
they serve meals like this in first class.
I mean, it's absolutely disgusting.
So dessert will be a moosey kind of cake with ice cream,
all in all, four pots.
So before dessert, Frazier takes off Scott's pants and we get a New Year's kiss which
was quite mid as the kids say I would have to say that it was quite mid I
think Frazier wanted a little tongue he did not get that but a kiss that's
really wonderful Barbie and Kyle I gotta say this was so lovely well I don't like
the way she was acting the day before. This is quite yeah, I know, but she's
turned a corner and now we're at the end of a Disney movie,
right? And and I ship these two. I mean, they'll never speak to
each other again in person after that. Yeah, he's living in
Montana right now. I've talked to him. Right. So we get to the
next day. Next morning. Frazier is really putting it on Steve.
I think he says, I'm just wearing your boyfriend's shirt
or something like that.
Well, Vampire finds Steven's jacket
that's sitting out there.
She begins wearing it.
And he's like, hey, that's my jacket.
Right, right, right.
OK, it's laying his claim on Steve.
Right, right, right.
And I don't know why Vampire would
try to lay claim on Steven, because he's a gay man.
That's right. So breakfast is served. It's Benedict again. Frasier wants cherry tomatoes scattered around the plate
That is fucking foul. I mean that is
truly disgusting and we squabble over the the crepes and
We cut to a squishy push through some kind of chocolate pudding, which was absolutely insane
I don't know why that was in there, but one, Frazier, you're dead wrong about this.
And two, why do you give a fuck?
OK, so what you're referring to is Frazier went out
and he wanted to do something that Pizza Rat did,
a chef, a few seasons ago, which is his whole idea of kind
of getting through breakfast service
is to limit options of the paying customers.
Frazier just wanted chocolate.
When he finds out from Chef Nick
that he could provide cinnamon,
I forget what the other flavors were.
I think he wanted to put ramekins out.
Okay, and Frazier gets pissed
because he's like, let's just offer one flavor.
Well, and also, you know,
he wants the cherry tomatoes on the plate.
You know, the only time that cherry tomatoes
are appropriate on a plate
is when you are going to a place
that you know has kitsch or
old-fashioned-ness. That's the only time, like if you see a tomato cut with the little wedges in it
to make it look like a a peanuts character or something, you better be at a place that has been
around for a while and that's just how they do things. If you're in a new place you're like
what's going on? So this boat's always a new place. It's always a new
place. The guests depart. I actually thought these people were quite fun.
They were nice. We gave him shit or I did last episode. They turned out to be
pretty nice people. But how good sense of humor about the things tip 23 K that's
1800. I rounded up 1800 bucks each. That's a pretty good haul.
That's what this season has been.
The entire season has been a $23,000 tip.
Well, it's two day charters.
Oh, no, that's good for two days.
So show me what you're cooking.
Let's see the moves are the lyrics
and it sends us into an evening out.
The vibes are high, the sea rats are farting on each other.
There's water falling on forks and all is paradise
except with the Frasemeister.
Captain Carrie and Fraser have a chat.
Fraser is unimpressed by Nick's culinary abilities.
And Captain Carrie being the fucking yogi,
sawdew, cave dwelling shaman that he is,
sees into the deepest holes of Frazer and he sees that he's not giving him the time that he knows he should be giving him. To help him.
Yes. Guide him. To help him. That's right. I also didn't... alright clearly you're not
a fan of Nick. I'm still... still no listen I if I was a woman I
would probably despise Nick from moment one and I probably should ally more with
our female audience he's not use a scumbag but I mean he's a fucking
sea-red chef yeah the base all right so Frazier characterizes Nick as a negative
person yeah I disagree no he's not agreeable. And he's
not going to do what you've asked him to do. And he will
that's negative. He will say chunky. That's right. He will
say chunky.
Frazier takes this meeting in stride and turns into a full
blown demon.
He he does this thing where you you get told something and you go, okay, I guess the lesson is hammed up,
you know, sarcastic insights, right?
So I guess what I need to do now is if there is slop served,
I need to just smile, right?
There's not slop being served.
It's fine. These people are, I mean, again,
Anthony was turning dinners into you know, a combo a Chinese Thai buffet, right?
So we don't we don't need to you know
He gathers his whores his words and he tells them that Nick is going to be serving up
Canteen food and that you need to just be okay with it. And if I was
Vampira or Paris or Barbie I would be like who hurt you? So preference sheet
meeting I'm not putting the music in. I'm not doing it. Don't worry about it.
Get the episode out. They've had yachts. They want Butler Service. Sorry for you
guys you are not going to get that.
And honestly, honestly, the reason
why I'm not putting the music in is because the preference
sheet was just quite underwhelming.
I mean, we really didn't know that much about them.
Their former or current yacht owners, so that should be fun.
And all I caught was that they want a sushi picnic.
There is a Zero Burger.
We'll meet them next episode.
Dinner is at night, and night is shots.
Fraser is the chief stew.
I mean, I don't know where that note goes,
but he is the chief stew.
That's correct, right?
That's right.
Well, I believe dinner begins with Nick sharing this
wonderful little tale of chivalry
where he once gave a Chanel bag to a girlfriend.
And then once she was an ex, he tried to repossess it.
Careful, Nick, you don't want all the girls crawling after you.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, calm down.
I mean, every woman watching needs a bucket right now
because you're, I didn't need to.
That's OK.
I didn't need to.
But he also says that he loves a crazy girl.
He loves a crazy girl.
I can see him cooking up a soft scramble and punching somebody in the face quite easily.
Who knows if it's happened?
I'm just saying I can see it.
Kyle orders a pina colada, a baller move.
Pina coladas are one of the most delicious alcohol drinks that you can possibly consume if you have to you will want to shit
Your pants, but one is perfect
Ben heads over and drapes his arm around Sonny because he's had a little booze and he's starting to get a little chubbed up
so naturally you go over to
the
I'm gonna back. I was gonna say cow again. I'm gonna back off the hoofed
animal thing. But yeah. Ben goes over to Vampira next and he notes that Vampira, right?
Yeah. She gets a little nuts after a bottle of pinot and the word nuts is
being swapped out for blackout drunk. Oh yeah, Zandi is a filthy blackout drunk,
as to be expected. And Steven heads over to the club finally gets him a smooch. We've been waiting and wanting
this for young Fraser for years now.
When Kyle came in here the end of last summer, he said he had
someone special. I wonder if it was Fraser. Yeah, he had
Oh, you called him Kyle. Oh, I did forgive me. Sorry, I don't
know that that can be forgiven.
Oh, well, well, I can hope anyway.
I think she got confused with pink.
Oh, no, I didn't.
There's another Kyle on this boat.
OK, so anyway, so yes, they have a lovely smooch.
And so do Barbie and Kyle.
I mean, I ship these four.
So do Sonny and Ben.
Everyone's hooking up.
Sonny and Ben hook up.
They're back together.
Yeah, so happy for them.
We had and this is where like,
all right, we'll we'll get to them.
We had home and after Ben rubs
her leg a little bit,
Nick proclaims he wants to go to
the strip club.
He jokes that he was kidding.
There's nothing he wants to do on
planet more than go to a strip
club and
Spend his entire tip on
Banging a sex worker live every day like it's your life. Yep life. The body is a roller coaster not a temple, you know
but This is where?
There is onus on sunny, okay
We've talked about it so many times there's nothing more There is onus on Sunny, okay?
We've talked about it so many times. There's nothing more nauseating
than two people who are obsessed with their bullshit relationship
and a friend of them by proxy has to hear about the bullshit relationship. And it's just like,
where are your friends in this scenario?
Sonny, maybe you've decided, I don't know,
you didn't vocalize it.
Maybe you've decided that this will just be fun
to just bang him and you can shut off the emotions as well.
If that is in fact the case, old Patty and Dill,
your friends here, we completely support that.
If you are going to next episode be upset because he begins flirting with another
woman which he will too bad so sad for you dear right right right dear so Kyle
and Barbie are very sweet they could fall in love they won't now no join us
to patreon.com slash another podcast that we're getting the iTunes ratings reviews the five stars kind words follow us on
Instagram and all the other places. We love you guys very much seasons almost over med will be coming soon
I'm Dylan saying goodbye Pat say goodbye I gotta pay.