Bad Friends - Prunes Are God's Ozempic w/ Dave Attell

Episode Date: April 8, 2024

Watch our Austin special live event with The Basement Yard https://www.patreon.com/badfriends/shop Thank you to our Sponsors: Shopify, Factor & ZocDoc • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month... trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends • Factor: Get 50% off at https://factormeals.com/badfriends50 with promo code BADFRIENDS50 • ZocDoc: Find and book top rated doctors at https://www.zocdoc.com/badfriends YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/BadFriendsYouTube Merch: http://badfriendsmerch.com 0:00 Special Announcement 1:43 Bobby Wants a Jewish Girl 8:50 Bobby Was Cut Out of a Dave Attell's Sitcom 14:52 Comedy is For Losers 22:18 Dave Attell Loves Fancy 37:49 Bobby Is Smoking Again 41:38 Dave Attell's Prunes 50:43 Bobby Has A Bone To Pick With Some Towns 1:01:42 Dave Attell's Exercise Routine 1:08:01 Bobby, The Action Here More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends #sponsored #ads Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:25 Gambling problem call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connexontario.ca. Bobby naked when I lost a bet on the show. And I couldn't get over how purple it was, dude. It's like Barney's dick. Top six, oh. Okay, okay, okay. Hold him, get him, wait a minute, wait a minute. Give it up for the Bad Friends Band. Thank you guys very much, appreciate you. It was an amazing live experience. It was beautiful and you should have been there.
Starting point is 00:01:01 If you're a paid Patreon member, it's free. If you're not, you can still watch it by going to our patreon shop The link will be on the screen and remember paid members will get anything we share there for free as part of their membership So it's a great time to become a bad friend That's right Our patreon shop is open to anyone whether you're a member or not and it's where we'll be able to sell any live shows specials Etc directly to you. We're gonna be doing more Patreons. We're gonna give bonus episodes on Patreon.
Starting point is 00:01:25 So sign up, baby. We have some good ones on the way. Hey, we're gonna be at Abu Dhabi Comedy Week. And Abu Dhabi Comedy Week as part of Abu Dhabi Comedy Week. Bad Friends are coming to Abu Dhabi for the first time. May 21st. That's right, where are we playing? The Etihad.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Etihad. Arena, Yas Island. Yas Island, man. Book your tickets right now. Brought to you by Theory 11. Go to badfriendspod.com for the tickets. Badfriendspod.com. I'm doing a couple dates. I'm doing Tampa, Florida, Phoenix, Arizona, Nashville, Tennessee, Dallas, Texas, and San
Starting point is 00:01:49 Francisco. Dallas and San Francisco shows have been added. Go to AndrewSantino.com for those tickets. AndrewSantino.com. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
Starting point is 00:01:57 You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are bad friends. You two are badcom. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? Woo-hoo.
Starting point is 00:02:05 White dude. And Asian dude. Woo-hoo. You two are disgusting. Woo-hoo. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. What do they call transition lenses?
Starting point is 00:02:15 And that's very progressive. These aren't transition. They're going to stay this way the whole time. Oh, wow. I have to change glasses. It takes all the cool out of having sunglasses. When did you do the transition? When did you, have you ever had the transition lenses?
Starting point is 00:02:26 I had them for a while, and then I was told they were not cool. Why are they not cool? I don't understand. I don't know. Some girl told me that, and I listened to her. Oh, you got to listen to girls. Yeah. Are you married? I am married, yeah. I can't believe it. It's hard to believe.
Starting point is 00:02:38 What a miracle. You know where he had his wedding? Where? Downtown L.A. Fourth of July. The only way to go. They fit right in with all the tents down there. Yeah, got a good tent for the weekend. Is she Jew or what?
Starting point is 00:02:54 She is not Jew. Okay. But thank you for asking. Not Jew? Not Jew. Wow. Wow. It's a status symbol among my people.
Starting point is 00:03:01 Not Jew is the step up. Okay. That's what you're supposed to say, not Jew. Yeah, not Jew. Bobby is interested in dating a Jewish woman, can you help him? Never had one. Acquire him, really?
Starting point is 00:03:08 Never? Never one Jew. Wow. I think you could do that. How? Do you though? I know how you do it. I'm Palestinian.
Starting point is 00:03:15 Whoa. Opposites attract. That's gonna be tough, Bob. We do wanna get him, he's never dated a Jewish girl and I said, why? Why? We're in Los Angeles. Like, how not?
Starting point is 00:03:28 And he just what he says he can't land any Jewish girls. Well, I've been hooking up with Arabs. Oh, I love it. He's a big Arab fan. I love the Arabs. You like a little sideburn on your lady? Yeah. I mean, they never used to like me.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Uh huh. But now with this new fame. Yeah. My options have opened. Well, they have the same kind of mustache. Him and the Arab women. But they with this new fame, my options have opened. They have the same kind of mustache, shame on the Arab women. But they have it down there, they have it down there. That's what we're looking for on the sheiks of Sunset.
Starting point is 00:03:52 You coming in. Season cliffhanger. Yeah, you like giggling boys? Yes. I love it too. These boys are our, did you meet, did everybody meet? Yeah, we met earlier our nice production team of rag tag individuals Misfits and me and Carlos is a 97-day sober over a hundred. Oh, it's over a hundred now. That's great, dude. Congrats you guys are a Dave of tell fans
Starting point is 00:04:21 Yeah, what was let me an album? No, no Well, that's a great album. I only have one. I know, I love it. Thanks for the memories, it's amazing. That's definitely great. That was a good test. Fancy doesn't know, Andres doesn't know.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Is that in Spanish? Yeah, do you have any stuff in Spanish for him? Do I have any? I was gonna give him a comb. I mean, with the hair. How'd you get here, buddy? Power glider? Huh? Yeah, I see.
Starting point is 00:04:48 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Look at this guy. Si, senor. Okay. You really have a multicultural feel going on in here. I love it. What do you mean? You're just looking at me and saying that.
Starting point is 00:04:57 By that, I mean you're not paying anybody. Can I say one thing, guys? Have we started yet, or is this what you guys are doing? This is what we do. Tailgate. No, we just kind of get going. You just say one thing, guys? Go ahead. Have we started yet or is this what you guys are doing? This is what we do. Tailgate. No, we just kind of get going.
Starting point is 00:05:09 You just kind of get going. Move it in. This is the podcast that I've been dying to do. I'm out here promoting and promoting and I'm like, when do I get to sit with these guys? Yeah. Now I am. And I'm sitting in the, this is awesome. I remember these in that movie, Wonka.
Starting point is 00:05:19 I mean, that's what happens when you're bad and they put an oompa loompa in the chair, give a talk down. Because they can't get out of those. We actually got those, there was a estate sale, we got those from Puff Daddy's house right here that they raided. Wow. Yeah, they put those on the lawn. I was going to say after Pee Wee died, this is his, right out of the playhouse.
Starting point is 00:05:37 The reading of his will. So let's introduce. Please do. May I? Please, I just said. All right, so the first time I met Dave was years ago. This guy named Ned, remember Ned? Ned? Carlos Mencia.
Starting point is 00:05:53 Oh, okay. Oh, God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know him by his super power name, super anyway. And we did a tour, remember that tour we did? Uh-huh, that was a big deal for us. Yeah, yeah, back then Ned was like, I'm gonna get the biggest white dude,
Starting point is 00:06:07 the biggest black dude, biggest Asian, I was the only Asian he knew. Who was the biggest black dude? Who was it, DC, not DC Curry, it was DC Curry? I don't remember playing like that, but I remember it was like a big deal tour. It was like a theater tour, outdoor venues. Yeah, it was amazing.
Starting point is 00:06:21 I think Ralphie was on some of those. Yeah, yeah. It was huge. It was huge, and it was the first big tour I've ever done in terms of theaters. Amphitheaters, outside. No, they weren't amphitheaters. They were like 3,000, 2,500.
Starting point is 00:06:33 I don't remember, I don't really, I remember bombing, that's all I remember. No, no, no, definitely not. I'd not do well, he would do the talk for me, like this guy coming out, I think he's funny, you should think he's funny. He's trying to like strong arm his crowd, you know? Yeah, it was like a Mexican crowd.
Starting point is 00:06:50 Oh really? Yeah, it was a Mexican crowd. Yeah, yeah, yeah, pretty Mexican, yeah. So they loved you? I did, I was so green. Yeah, but you did good. Aw man. Even when you were green, you were still a little yellow,
Starting point is 00:07:01 so you got through it. Wow. Wow. You were laughing too. I know. You can't do the hard looking after you laughed at the girl. You're right. I laugh first. Yeah, you have to do the hard looking.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Laugh again. Laugh again. Oh. That's how it was supposed to go down. Yeah. He's like Kanye. He doesn't want to be caught laughing. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:19 And then Louie, this is my history with them. You used to live in LA. Yes, I is my history with them. Used to live in LA. Yes, I'm from LA. Yeah, and we used to write together. Yes. Wait a minute. You mean Louie used to write and you were near him?
Starting point is 00:07:38 Oh, he got you. You know what I knew? Dude, when you squint your eyes and your face gets all red, I know you're about to dig. He's a phenomenal joke writer, and I know Louis was just ripping through pages and he was sitting there smoking,
Starting point is 00:07:54 like looking over your shoulder. Good stuff, Louis. Sorry, it's still funny. It's great. it's great stuff. Can I throw more stories in? Yeah, throw it in. What I always loved about you Bobby is like, you would do a great set, they would love you,
Starting point is 00:08:16 and then you'd come running off, and then you would be like, I can't do an hour. All right, there's no reason why I should be up there for an hour. And I'm like, they reason why I should be up there for an hour. And I'm like, they could have watched you for like two hours, dude. They were really having a great time. But it's like, I still do it.
Starting point is 00:08:31 I still do it. I still do it. I just can't do it. Yeah, I feel the same way. I feel the same way. Yeah, yeah. I feel exactly the same way. I'm like, I want out.
Starting point is 00:08:39 I want out of here. Yeah. Or you've gone through all your material, then you look at the clock and it's like 33 minutes. I hate that. Oh, I hate it. I hate it. Like, I guess I'm gonna have to do improv.
Starting point is 00:08:49 Yeah. I hate it. So, Luis De Rye. Yeah, that's right. He's probably one of the best joke writers. I hate it. I have a better story, dude. Remember we were on the sitcom together?
Starting point is 00:09:02 Oh my God! This is crazy. I hate it. This is crazy. I hate it. This is crazy This is PTSD. This is my this is my favorite Bobby story. Go ahead in the early aughts This is we were all you were a regular on the sitcom too. I was on mad TV Okay, but no, no, this is not that we were on a thing called used car smell Yeah, new new car smell new car smell. Yeah, yeah guys who did were really cool They wanted comics on it. I fucked them.
Starting point is 00:09:25 But there was also real... Fuck them. Wait, hold on. No, no, I want to get into it. Okay, but hold on. It was you, me, and Jimmy Schubert. Yes. And I'm not an actor.
Starting point is 00:09:33 Totally not an actor. And they kept giving me these long setups for the regular people to get the punchline. And I'm like, what the? I can't. I can't do. I can't. And I wanted to red fox it and write it on the walls and stuff. But anyway, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:46 I'm not even on the thing, right? Brooke Shields? No, see, I thought you were like a special guest or something. No, no, no, I was a real, I was a- Brooke Shields was in it. The guy, the lead guy is like a great actor and he was like rolling his eyes every time I opened my mouth. What's his name over there?
Starting point is 00:09:59 But he was like a really good actor. Oh, Christopher McDonald? Yes, yeah. I was supposed to be fucking series regular. A plus, you know? A legit actor. So, Christopher McDonald? Yes, I was supposed to be fucking series regular. A plus. A legit actor. Anyway, you and I, hold on a second, you and I and Jimmy, we're all going into our scenes
Starting point is 00:10:10 and then we'd be smoking outside, and every time, I believe this was like on the warmup or whatever it is, the dry run through or something, we'd all run out and say the same thing, I can't act. I can't believe they're gonna fire me. I'm getting my stuff now, because they're gonna fire me by lunch. I'm outta here. And I was like, when you said that,
Starting point is 00:10:27 and then I felt like so much better. I was like, oh great, I'm not the only non-actor here. But you were killing it, and then it went on, and then finally we were doing it in front of a crowd. You know that? Like, in front of a crowd. And then the real actors, they were like stumbling on the lines, but we were rocking it, because we were like totally whoring it up to the crowd,
Starting point is 00:10:43 like, I don't know. Whatever you say, JJ. You know, like we were totally sitcomming it. Then Mitch Hedberg died. A lot happened in that week. It was a big week. I'm not kidding. Was that the week?
Starting point is 00:10:56 That was the week. Oh my God. Wow. Look at David Walton. There it is, new car smell. Yeah. Put it up full screen. Let me see what, this is the full pilot?
Starting point is 00:11:03 Can you imagine, Bobby, if that went? Can you imagine we'd be retired now? I would've been fired. Look at Dave. No, no. Oh, there he is. Look at that. Awesome.
Starting point is 00:11:12 I will say, it's weird to not see you in all black. I love it. And that look is still really in, you know? Mostly in the Middle East. How come dressed up, somehow dressed up, you look sleazier. And I don't know how that's possible. Yeah, it really does. I hate it. Well, can I tell you my experience on that real quick? Dressed up somehow dressed up you look sleazier
Starting point is 00:11:31 Well, can I tell you my experience on that real quick Brooke shields by the way, so she's very cool. She's very cool I hated her you know why I fucking hate her like her no Get out of your pocket. Oh wait. I have to leave Wait, what did you not like about her? What did she am I edited out of that thing? You can't find look at me lurking in the back What did you like about her? What did she do? Am I edited out of that thing? Yeah, I can't find you. You can't find me? Hey, look at me lurking in the back.
Starting point is 00:11:46 Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Dude, you're such a good lurker though. What's going on over there? No, I had to go there because I was overacting so much. They had to push me back. They had to push me way back. You can't even stand naturally.
Starting point is 00:11:58 You're standing in a weird way. That's a Meisner I'm using. You can't find me in there, right? No. Well, you think they scrubbed you. That's you, right? They cut me out. So Fox calls me and they go, there's a show called New Car Smell. We want you in it.
Starting point is 00:12:15 And I go, okay. And then they go, but the Cullen Brothers don't want you in it. What? The guys who made the show. Oh, that was their names. Yeah, the Cullen Brothers. Not the Cohen Brothers, the Cullen Brothers. Cullen Brothers. Cullen Brothers. And then they Not the Coen Brothers, the Cullen Brothers.
Starting point is 00:12:25 Yeah. It doesn't seem like a Coen Brothers. I'm glad you caught that, Louis. I thought it was the Coen Brothers, too. So then they go, but they want Getty Wananabi. Oh, yeah. Long Duck Dong. Yeah, he's great.
Starting point is 00:12:39 He is. Objectively, he's great. I would hire him over you. No, no, no, no, no. 100%. Let me ask you, friend. He is, objectively, he's great. I would hire him over you. 100%. I'm not gonna be, ha ha. Let me ask you, friend. If you were showrunner, right? You'd pick him before me?
Starting point is 00:12:51 100%, not even, I wouldn't even think about it. Yeah. I'm good. Get in. So you were the backup, basically. Right, so they forced me in. And Rob Cullen would pull me aside and go, listen man, you gotta learn how to act
Starting point is 00:13:08 They cut me out of it Dave, I thought you did a great job. Oh, thank you so much honestly I what I can't believe he would say that that would ruin your confidence. He did yeah, it sure did So you don't fucking psyche and you out second me out and then like I had two pages of dialogue It's not worth watching even for Bobby Lee fans. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. It's a terrible show, should have never been made, it's a waste of time, money and talent. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:35 Did you just put that in there? Yeah, he just wrote that. Wait, go back to the pilot and scrub through it. He's gotta be in there. I wanna see the image of, go back to the pilot. I'm not in it, dude, but my point is this. I had two pages of dialogue, by the pilot I had one line That's almost one line
Starting point is 00:13:56 It's a restaurant scene Anyway, um and it was the worst human experience of my life What did I run into raw I've seen Rob a couple of times since then I won't even look at him really yeah Yeah, you I fucked that guy what at him. Really? Yeah, yeah. I fucked that guy. What did Brooke Shields do to you that you're so negative about? Well because the show owners didn't want me, you could feel it, you know, and so,
Starting point is 00:14:12 I was at craft service, and you know, in my mind I'm like, you know, you're in Hollywood, I know you're a comic, but let's break in and let's mingle, let's schmooze it. And then I was sitting by the nuts and stuff and I go good morning to Brooke yeah, and she didn't even wow Wasn't even there. I gotta tell you I'm probably taking I think here. This is the scene. Yeah, well we don't we don't see ya
Starting point is 00:14:37 No, no before that before they start talking Before there's any dialogue Is there a mannequin by any chance in there? Is there a... Before this, okay. Oh, do you? What was that, Dukes? That's you? Hey! Nice rack. Yeah, I was cut out of it.
Starting point is 00:14:50 I was cut out of the pilot. Wow. Yeah. So is this the other guy that you mentioned? That guy is kind of your dog. That's the person you're always up against? No. The long dog?
Starting point is 00:15:00 What happened? The long dog? No, who are you against? Genni Winonabi was much older. And at that time, he had done a couple of movies, you know, like classics. He was famous, though. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He was like very, very famous.
Starting point is 00:15:16 And I was like the new kid, and Fox was trying to get the new kid in. Well, because you were cheaper, I'm sure. Oh, much cheaper. That's what it was. I'm serious. I bet you they were like, we can just get this. Because I'm sure the pilot, you know, they overpay. Like, Brooke Shields probably got all the money. Well, they're the stars. They're the Gettins. And then I'm sure with him, they were like,
Starting point is 00:15:31 let's just get Bobby Lee. Yeah. How Asian can you look? Wow. How'd I? I remember him. How'd I? The nerds. Yeah. That was the grand.
Starting point is 00:15:39 You need a movie like that. That was a different Asian. Oh, it was? From Revenge of the Nerds. Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah. No, but, but different Asian. It was a bit of a nerve. Yeah. OK. Yeah. I know what you're saying. You're so good on that show. Showgun.
Starting point is 00:15:53 You're more of a dramatic actor. Comics are losers. Drama is worth that. Oh, man. I'd love to see all the parts that you had to do over the years. It must be so crazy. Yeah, I mean there are some good experiences and then there have just been nightmares. The best ones, not to make it all like an actor's workshop, but as a non-actor when you work with other comics and they just go like, just do what you do, that's the best you could ever do with guys like me. Yeah, yeah, me too.
Starting point is 00:16:24 That's the best. Immediately they get it, like me. Yeah, yeah, me too, me too. That's the best, immediately they get it, they just want it funny, they can edit. You forget all these other things that get involved. So I'm always like, I work with Amy, or I was working with Michael Che. They're all so good, like Pete. There are other comics, they get it. Just get to the funny.
Starting point is 00:16:40 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that for me is cool. But I always thought you were a good actor. Oh, thanks. Yeah, definitely. I'm getting like... I'm serious. Okay. You have a heart. Yeah, your, so that definitely is cool, but I always thought you were good actor. Oh, thanks definitely. I'm getting like I'm serious. Okay, you have a heart. Yeah your old writing partner But the things I've been doing lately are pretty much offers and then that when I show up they're like I'll just do you
Starting point is 00:17:04 It's great. Yeah, so it's been it's been easier because you're a great actor. You're great. That's why they want you to do you you're a great actor I feel there's something behind When you're a really good actor they just want you to do you You're a fucking asshole It's in your face. Did not the fuck I do like this pink shirt today. I do think it's cool. Thanks. It's in your face, dude. Shut the fuck up. Oh, fuck you, dude. I do like this pink shirt today. I do think it's cool. Oh, thanks, man. It's a rad shirt.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Anyway, um. How did you do last night, by the way? Dave, were you at the store last night? What's that? Were you at the store last night? I walked by. What are you getting at? We did.
Starting point is 00:17:34 I've been podcasting my little ass off. Did you not go, you didn't get up last night? No, I didn't go. Because we heard, I heard you were gonna come by. They had a special guest in the OR. And I thought it was you. I know who it was. Who's Martin Lawrence. Again? Oh, awesome. Again. They had a special guest in the OR, and I thought it was you. I know who it was. Who's Martin Lawrence.
Starting point is 00:17:45 Again? Oh, awesome. He did a half hour. He's doing a theater tour is what the rumor was, and he was working out for the theater tour. But what fucked up, he brought me on, this great moment, but what fucked up was, he's more quiet on stage now.
Starting point is 00:17:59 So they turned up the mic, like really, really loud, and then he brought me on, and my first joke, I'm like... And the whole, you can tell the audience is... And then in the middle of my joke, they turn it way down. Oh, shit. That's not good.
Starting point is 00:18:12 So it was fucking weird, and I looked over at the booth, and I did this, and they were like... How was his intro? Because they're hit and miss. No, I will say this. It was awesome. I said, Emily goes, uh, the manager said,
Starting point is 00:18:22 he's gonna bring you on, he knows who you are. I told him, and I thought, if he f, I don't care if he fucks it. He doesn't know me personally, I said, it's fine. But he got it, and it was very nice. It was very sweet. Because his road manager's there, and they rehearsed it before. It was really nice, though.
Starting point is 00:18:36 Yeah, they rehearsed it. Plus, he could've just been like, next comic. No, he used to do this, I'm done, and then just walk off stage. Natasha has a bit about him being rude to her when he brings her on stage. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's on one of her specials, I'm done. And then just walk off stage. Natasha has a bit about him being rude to her when he brings her home. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:18:47 That's on one of her specials, I'm sure. Yeah, he was apparently very rude, I don't know. That's always low energy now, huh? Well, he's just, I don't know, it's weird to describe. He's just much quieter. Yeah, adult. Yeah, he's grown. You get older and like, you know,
Starting point is 00:19:00 like we do two shows one night and you can't remember like what you did in the first show. I mean, sometimes like when I'm coming off like a hard, like just like, you know, no boo do two shows one night and you can't remember what you did in the first show. I mean, sometimes when I'm coming off a hard, just like, no boos, no nothing anymore. It's just being tired and old. And you're always messing up the MC's name, that kind of thing. I've called him a million different names
Starting point is 00:19:17 when we're on shows together. Thanks, Reggie. It's like, that's my name. It's not even close. Are you sober now, completely? Oh, for years, for years. For you sober now for completely? Oh for years for years for how long so long It's that new core smell Wake up call
Starting point is 00:19:29 You don't smoke weed or anything. No, I know weed is like a vitamin out of here, but I don't do it Oh, wow, are you that I missed out on the whole weed evolution, too. Are you 12 step guy or no? No, I don't do it. You just do just you cold turkey. Yep. That's amazing No, I don't do it. You just do just you cold turkey. Yep. That's amazing We started podcasting an online store was the furthest thing from our minds, that's right now We're selling so many things sure these shirts box not buckets, but like cups not buckets. Well, these are coffee buckets Yeah, so this should be called a coffee easy, you know all because we use Shopify. That's exactly right. Shopify is incredible It's the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business,
Starting point is 00:20:07 from the launcher online shop stage to the first real life store stage. We've got so many different things juggling on the show and with Shopify, it makes it so simple and easy. It doesn't matter what you're selling or who you're selling it to. Shopify helps you sell it everywhere. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US, and Shopify is the global force behind
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Starting point is 00:22:20 No, I just don't. I don't drink that much, but I've never quit anything. I just keep moderation. I guess it was going to kill me. Yeah, it was moderation. He's a food guy. Yeah, I just don't drink that much, but I never quit anything. I just keep moderation. I guess it was gonna kill me. Yeah, moderation. He's a food guy. Yeah, I like to eat. He's a foodie type. So every city you go to,
Starting point is 00:22:31 are you one of the guys that you know how to pick out the spots? You have the... There's nothing open. Yeah, well, the problem is he only... He doesn't drink, and he only eats one meal a day after the shows. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:41 And now everything's closed early, so it's like, yeah, I know to pick the best Waffle House. I mean, there's not options. Okay. It worked for Lance Armstrong. Why didn't anybody... Hey, the guy from the guy over there. Now, what's your name again? Andres. And I know you're one bite away from being a full vampire, but... I mean, let's get the palest in Burbank. That's so true. Holy shit, dude. He is worth.
Starting point is 00:23:09 Please keep going with it. This guy did all the stunts for Oppenheimer. Sorry, Bobby, no offense in your house. No offense in your house. Oh, please, we love this. Sorry, guy. We love this. Hit him as hard as you want.
Starting point is 00:23:22 He's fine. He's smiling on the face. Dave, you don't wait wait, when you wake up, you don't eat breakfast? No. Nothing. What am I, a girl? For what?
Starting point is 00:23:30 What am I gonna go to school? Get out of here! So you literally don't eat anything? You know what I got on me right now? You wanna know? I got a bag of prunes. You wanna look at it? No thank you.
Starting point is 00:23:42 I'm kinda hoping like a cop goes, what do you got in that bag? And you pull out a bag of, you can't go, you loser. You have a couple coughs, you have a lot of coughs. A lot of coughs and a lot of cigarettes. This guy has to smoke, I really feel bad for him. You don't mind, do you? I mean, I've learned tricks, like I keep my jacket
Starting point is 00:23:58 outside of the green room so it doesn't smell. No, I can't wait to apologize to him at his funeral. Whenever I get by, I'll live him. Yeah. How did your special go, good? Yeah, thanks to you. I mean, you had me on the other podcast, which helped a lot, and it was great. I was able to sneak on to your more successful podcast now. Louis' special has so many great jokes in it.
Starting point is 00:24:19 And yeah, it just hit a million views like the other week. Wow. Ali, that's great, doing the intro for it. The best comedian you never heard of. It tells in it. I'm rapping. It's interesting that you didn't ask me to see what I'm doing.
Starting point is 00:24:31 Me and Andrew to be the intro. Well, I wasn't sure if you guys would do it. I had to sneak my way. You have to ask first. I had to, I didn't, I asked about this podcast and I had to sneak in with Dave, you know? So like this is, I get what I can. Well, and also he directed it, he produced it,
Starting point is 00:24:46 he won, I mean like that's the full tilt. That's him. Where'd you shoot it at? The Comedy Fort in Fort Collins. Yeah. I didn't have other people work on me, but I'm hands on with the whole thing. Because he had to connect to his ski base,
Starting point is 00:24:59 you know, ski fans. You're a big ski bum, that's why. It's a great club, but it's still like, it's the best club you could possibly have in a small town in Colorado. So you're telling jokes about Jews and blacks, and they're like, what are those? And it makes it all go, mm, mm, mm, mm. What are those?
Starting point is 00:25:14 Mm, interesting. But no, I'm pretty happy with it. And I love that set, the art of the set, a brick wall and two waters. What more do you need? It's not, it's no hot cross. Let's move on, let's move on. Let's move on.
Starting point is 00:25:29 Wait, wait, wait, go back to the beginning. I'm in the beginning. Oh, you are? Yeah, come on. There he is. Look at that. Bobby's in it though, weren't you just in that? Scroll through.
Starting point is 00:25:38 I think Bobby was in there. There he is. Oh! There's Robert. Insult Allie. It really is an insult to Allie, such a beautiful girl. Why would I say that about her to you? Look at how much prettier she is than...
Starting point is 00:25:50 Never mind. All right. Honestly, dude, look at me right now. Just a better Asian. Honestly, I don't know what happened today, but, dude, but it's, like, it's aggressive. It's not. It is. There's something that you're doing with your squinchy face
Starting point is 00:26:02 and your fucking red face. I don't like it. You know what I'm gonna say? What? We're renaming the show. What is it? It's Very Bad. It is. There's something that you're doing with your squinchy face and your fucking red face. I don't like it. You know what I'm gonna say? What? We're renaming the show. What is it? It's very bad. Very bad.
Starting point is 00:26:10 Today, we went a new level. It's a new level today. Dave, are you, you're not married. Look at me. Of course I'm not. Girlfriend! Nothing, I'm totally, I wanna meet this Jewish girl like you're talking about.
Starting point is 00:26:23 I've heard a tell of them. So nothing, just zero? Nothing. Why? That's the best thing when you come out here. So many, I was just in Austin, the most beautiful, am I right? Beautiful people. Beautiful people. Everywhere.
Starting point is 00:26:36 And I'm just once again, lurking around without the tie on. Yeah, yeah. No, I don't know buddy, I'm so old. I really, you know, I guess, I have a lot of issues. My mom, I have to take care of her, she has dementia. Oh wow. Stuff like that. buddy. I'm so old. I really you know I guess I have a lot of issues my mom I have to take care of his dementia. Oh like that. So sorry. It's a lot of work and luckily. She's doing okay, but the The road is not fun. I mean it's like you go out there you do you think maybe you find a place to eat when you're You know like old so these young pups out there of course having some laughs. How about you buddy? I mean I can assume on one of these apps you must be the real get.
Starting point is 00:27:07 No, I'm... No apps? No Raja? I'm on the Raja. I figured you were. Raya, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm on it, yeah. Is that what it's called? Raya? Yeah, it's called Raya.
Starting point is 00:27:16 Then what did I sign up for? You got banned? He got banned from a few apps. I got banned from all of them but Raya. Wow. Really? Wait, guess why? This is even better. Why do you think he got banned? I didn't know you could get Wow. Really? Wait, guess why? This is even better. Why do you think he got banned?
Starting point is 00:27:26 I didn't know you could get banned. Oh. Oh, you can. You can. Was it politics? No. Nudity? No.
Starting point is 00:27:35 No, no. But very accurate. Very accurate. Yeah, yeah. Is your hashtag bring money on the date? You got banned from being Asian how dare you You son of a bitch he lied about his age Wow on all of them. I know that's okay. I thought that's okay It's not really yeah Wow well. I said it was 34. He was reported
Starting point is 00:27:59 to And what happens is wait that is not even like you can't dance around that like did I tell you well? I kind of lied. I'm about 19 years I mean, you know, I don't know what to tell you. Yeah two decades Yeah, but but but but but they could just Google me and that you know, my name my age is on the internet So it's like that's not what I was doing it for. I mean can't they see the picture of you running from the 9-eleven towers? You said You were in grade school your day trader
Starting point is 00:28:34 Yeah No, what because when you're 52 you get matched on those sides with other 50, you know people because they're Younger young younger. I know women in their 30s are like they're cut off points 40. OK. Right. So you're not getting them in. You know they're not getting your profile in there. And there's a reason for that. Well let me I'm curious.
Starting point is 00:28:58 They are not interested in 52 year old men. I understand. But can I let me defend myself. Go ahead. I will. Please. Who's aggressive now? Yeah. I'm sorry. So let me defend myself.
Starting point is 00:29:12 Please. I'm going to. You're thinking about how. No, I'll defend him. I'm not thinking about him. Dude, it is what he does. I'll defend him. He's a young 52, a very young 52. No, because by going to 34 and I've gotten on dates,
Starting point is 00:29:27 you know what I mean, and then they go, yeah, my thing's at 40, but I'm glad I met you. It's like I play young. They want you to lie. They're forcing you to lie. They're forcing you to lie. They shouldn't have that thing on there. The eighth thing, right? All is welcome. That's what it should be called.
Starting point is 00:29:46 All is welcome. No, it's all famous people are welcome. They don't want the trash in there. That's exactly right. Right, right, right. Oh, I'm a doctor and I work with the, get out of here, loser. Get out of here.
Starting point is 00:29:57 There should be a scale where you can lie about your age to the amount of money you have in your bank account. Yeah. So the higher the bank account, the more you can lie. Wow, Yeah. What about that sugar daddy thing? I mean, you'd be the awesome, like, I mean, come on, you know what I'm saying? Oh, yeah, so there are sugar daddy sites.
Starting point is 00:30:12 You don't want that. Do you want that? Yeah. I mean, yeah. But let me ask you about the sugar daddy sites. How much money are you, if you're a sugar daddy, what's the limit here? What do you mean, a limit of what you have to spend? Yeah, because there are sugar dads that have been on them. And then it's like, they're asking for a certain amount
Starting point is 00:30:31 of money, I'm like, that's insane. How much money are they asking for? So what would you say, like 50 grand a month? I don't know. 50 grand a month? Oh, so yeah, to keep them in the lifestyle. Why not just get a book? They're so much cheaper.
Starting point is 00:30:41 I know. But some of them are. That's his expertise, the guy with the backwards hat. Carlos is a that he loves paid Paid friends. Yeah paid friends. Yeah, you don't have to go on seeking to get like a hot girl though Can we can we go on seeking and look at the profiles or now what's seeking? It's a sugar daddy site that yeah. Yeah, can we look at this? Yeah, see see what's available here. Oh look at that Oh, you have a profile? Yeah, he's already.
Starting point is 00:31:05 You have one? I had one, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But the girl I saw, she died like two months later. Oh. Yeah, so I got off. I knew this would lead to a cold case. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:16 No, I just played to leave. What's even funnier about this is that you were unseeking. Yeah, but what? You don't have any fucking money. You have no money. Yeah, because they're not all, they're asking you for 50 grand. Say no, you're worth They're not all they're asking you for 50 grand. They know you're worth right. They're asking you for $50. Oh
Starting point is 00:31:29 Shit you get the but you you get the bus pass girls. They call us salt and pepper daddies What does that mean? It means it's not all like sugar. Oh Little bitter it's a little bit. Yeah, so how much money do you think is, like, if a girl goes, well, I just need three grand a month. Well, I would say no to everything. Even if I was single, I'm not fucking paying you four grand to hang out. That's insane. I thought you had to put him up in an apartment
Starting point is 00:31:56 and climb around the world and fucking stuff. Some of her like that. This is if you want a total disconnect, and if you just want... Yeah. Okay, I know that. Disconnect. No, don't do this because they're here. You know that's not true. I like disconnecting. He wants just want... Yeah. Okay. Disconnect. No, don't do this because they're here.
Starting point is 00:32:06 You know that's not true. I like disconnecting. He wants to find love so fucking bad. I want love. He's lying. Yeah. You know you do. This would be so weird, and you wouldn't get any sort of connection whatsoever.
Starting point is 00:32:17 It'd be fucking weird. Yeah. Well, then you have to do it like everyone else in this town. You have to shop at that Ralph's. That's right. That seems to be the place. The place. The Rock and Roll Ralph's on Sunset? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:32:26 That's a good one. You go down there, man. It's crazy. That is a pretty good one. There's some hot chicks there. But more rock. Yeah, let's... You get like also vampires like yourself, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:32:36 You're not into that? What kind of... You just like a... You don't like tats and stuff like that? They have to be taller. Easy. Which is everybody. Everybody.
Starting point is 00:32:44 And they be taller, right? They have to have taller. Easy. Which is everybody. And? And? And, they be taller, right? They have to have some education. What? Some form of education. Like GED? No, no, GED, give me some GED above. What about street smarts? No, street smart doesn't work with me.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Wait a minute, you don't have a college education, why do you care? That's why I wanna breathe. Yeah, he wants to call, everything he's seen doesn't, he doesn't have, he education, why do you care? That's why I wanna breathe. Yeah, he wants to call everything he doesn't have, he wants to partner with. You're lying! We can act! Yeah, I get it.
Starting point is 00:33:11 Okay, so. Attractive? Very attractive. Very attractive. That's a big one, right. They have to have... Driver's license? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:21 Some semblance of... To vote, yeah. Of culture, you know? What does that mean? Well, they have to just like Basically what I'm saying is the things that you know You know that when we do the other day I was telling that you like you it's odd that you know certain things I like you surprised me all the time. Yeah, but like I want that people that read no The people that just have that they they're just kind of like oh, I know about Rembrandt or I know about it's from reading. That's how you. Oh, really? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:33:50 It's not like you're bit by a historian and all the power. Like Spider-Man. In 1476. That's so funny. You want to. Those are all accessible. I think those are all accessible. I think those are really, you didn't say anything crazy. Nothing crazy.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Actually, the range of women that he has dated, because I've been here for all of it, is it's actually pretty great. You haven't had a typical, they all kind of have a different style, a different look. They've all been pretty cool. So he's- Some of them you haven't liked.
Starting point is 00:34:23 There's been, there's been, well- There's one I Some of them you haven't liked. There's been... There's been... There's one I like. You didn't like her either. What the fuck is this? I know, but you said, I don't like that. You don't when you know right away when your friend is with somebody and you're like, oh my god.
Starting point is 00:34:34 Yeah, how could that? I can't wait till you find out. Oh yeah, that's what... I can't wait till you know that this is a terrible idea. But the one thing you didn't say was sense of humor. That's right. Yeah, sense of humor. No, you don't want that.
Starting point is 00:34:44 No, I do. You don't want that. You didn't say was sense of humor. That's right. Yeah, sense of humor. No, you don't want that. No, I do. You don't want that. You didn't say it in your list. But I don't want, I've dated hams. Breathe. Yeah, I've dated like, you know what I mean? I'm on a booby, I'm on a booby.
Starting point is 00:34:56 You know what I mean, like hammy people. I don't like that. No, terrible. I don't know, is that a real word song? I don't even know. Yeah, I got it. I'm on a booty, I'm on a booty. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:35:03 I don't like that. You know what I mean? I like, you know, like little sly jokes. You know what I mean? I don't like that. You know what I mean? I like, you know, like little sly jokes. You know what I mean? You just gotta get your stuff, right? Little roast, like a little roast. Yeah, that's nice. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:35:11 Witty, but laid back. Not like your improv one class. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I don't like sketch. I like a sketch artist. Like a sketch player. Like what you do. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:20 I don't want me. You don't want you. For the opposite. I get it. I think so. You want a complimentary partner. Yeah, and also I need somebody that's That is an against like that that loves the culture of Korea. Who doesn't love the culture? Yeah Yeah, I mean I want somebody that like like like I you know, I was on it the girl that last week Yes, and you know, I would tell go you ever had Shabu Shabu?
Starting point is 00:35:48 Have you had Shabu Shabu? I was just in Vegas, I didn't see him playing in it. Is that a magician? Is that a contortionist? Who is that? Ladies and gentlemen, Shabu Shabu. I know him, yeah, he was the roommate of Sirhan Sirhan. Thank you, Bobby, for drawing my memory of culture.
Starting point is 00:36:08 Shabu-shabu. You know Shabu-shabu, Louis? Boiling water. The grilled, is it grill stuff? Oh no, it's the boiling water. It's boiling water. And it's fucking phenomenal. I can't recommend this more.
Starting point is 00:36:15 If you're a big foodie dude, go to a Shabu's place while you're here. I'm down. Do they make you cook it? Yeah. I don't like that. No, no, it's. I need someone else to cook it for me.
Starting point is 00:36:23 I understand what you're doing. Yes. You can get them to cook it. They don't. That's fine. The places I go, they don't. They don't like that. No, no, it's I need someone else. I understand what you're doing Yes, you can get them to cook it. They don't it's fine. The places I go they don't they don't like to but you choose your broth Right. So it's like, you know, there's always a variety of phylic bone broth a tomato broth pot Hot pot is correct. That's correct That is correct. Okay. All right. So like, you know last time she's like and she goes well, she's from the Midwest She's like I'm even heard of that. Yeah, that's okay. Yeah, but that's not fair. I mean, maybe she just called.
Starting point is 00:36:47 No, but she did go. She was like, but I'm willing to try. Yeah. And she went and she had a great time. She's like, I love this. Did she say, what is this garbage? And like spit it all out on an American flag? God, what are you doing to me?
Starting point is 00:37:01 My point is I want them to like be able to like, you know, try things. Yeah. She did wear Trump shoes to the date. You did say that turned them off. What? No, no, she did not. The gold ones, the gold ones.
Starting point is 00:37:13 The limited edition gold ones. You want to kind of grow. You can just sit on the couch and watch a movie with, right? What would the movie be? Go ahead. Oh, shi- Go ahead. Let's go ahead.
Starting point is 00:37:23 Paris? What would it be? I hope you know the Korean cinema. Well, like, you know, I've done, like, Old Boy with a Date. Squid Game. No, that's a series. It's too long. Well, it depends on how much you like her.
Starting point is 00:37:36 Yeah, oh, that's true. You start with Old Boy, then you get Squid Game if you can remember. A good movie is Memories of a Murder. Of a Geisha. Oh. Memories of a Murder. I understand that. It's good? It's so good. And so, Murder. Of a Geisha. Oh. Memories of a Murder. Right. It's good?
Starting point is 00:37:46 It's so good. And so, you know, a Korean film. And then, that's it. Have you guys seen Old Boy, by the way? Yeah. Which version of it, though? There's like two. The Korean?
Starting point is 00:37:56 The Korean. That's the one. The other one, I'm not so sure about. Yeah, yeah. So good. Korean one? You gotta watch it. I saw it when it, someone gave me like a bootleg when it came out.
Starting point is 00:38:04 This was back when there were bootlegs. And like right when it got good, it started skipping. Kevin Shea got me a bootleg that started skipping. Kevin who? Kevin Shea. I'm not supposed to mention him on here? Sorry. I'd like you to mention more.
Starting point is 00:38:16 Very good. Would your lady also be like smokes? Like she's not, that's not like a... Well I quit for a while. I just started smoking again. Okay. You know, he's giving me shit about me. about I'm giving him a little bit of shit because we're trying To put it away, but it's he's I quit for two years, and then what made it you Jesse our opener Oh, well, we have an opener
Starting point is 00:38:35 Yeah, and she smoked and you know and every once in a while like and then I'm ever dragged one was fucking smoking And then it was like you know then he started sneaking them and then he's out of control It's so crazy how it grabs you it's tough I've heard it's the most addictive thing like more than anything else and smoking and then it was like, you know, then he started sneaking them and then he would be back. He's out of control. It's so crazy how it grabs you. It's tough. I've heard it's the most addictive thing, like more than anything else. But there's nothing like it. Really?
Starting point is 00:38:51 There's nothing like it. The vapes don't, you know what I mean, the dipping, it just, it's... You are so right, buddy. Yeah. A pack a day worth. Oh, more than that, no. Wow. But I would say, do you kind of regret the two years you didn't smoke?
Starting point is 00:39:04 What'd you say? The two years that you took off? No, because look. What happened? He would just dip the whole time. Oh, well there you go. Cans and cans of dip. Now that's hard to find a lady that enjoys that.
Starting point is 00:39:17 I know, I know. Gotta go down south. You kind of look like you run a Buc-E's anyhow, so this would be great. Got a sale on jerky and dip. I mean, what are you looking for, Dave? Everything you just said Buc-ee's anyhow, so this would be great. Got a sale on Jerky and Dip. I mean, what are you looking for, Dave? Everything you just said, I thought that was great, except for that Korean knowledge stuff.
Starting point is 00:39:31 I mean, maybe we'll watch a MASH, you know, occasionally. Oh, right, right, right, right, right, right, right. Do you guys think it's actually harder to meet someone because you're successful and famous? I've said that to him all the time. I'm happy that I'm married, because now that he's single again, and we go out on the road and like, you know, our nights usually end in such dramatically different ways now,
Starting point is 00:39:49 where like me and some of these bozos will get food, and then he wants to go on the hunt. No, no, no. The hunt. He's on the hunt. I'm on the hunt, yeah. He likes to fish. That's what we call it. When he goes, I know when he's going fishing, when he sneaks away.
Starting point is 00:40:01 I sneak away. And he likes to be, you know, he likes to go in his little, we let him go into the reeds. With my mask. Yeah. Do you have them like... sneaks away. I sneak away. And he likes to be a, you know, he likes to go in his little, we let him go into the reeds. With my mask. Yeah. Do you have them like... With my swords. I sneak away.
Starting point is 00:40:10 Very sneaky, sir. Do you like have them put like, like your TV shows like on the TV and the bar, so you're just casually sitting there like, hey, look at that, that's me. Like, do you try and like show that you're... They'll put on new car smell on the bar sometimes. This is perfect. No, no, Louie. Well, what do you do? What does going on the hunt mean?
Starting point is 00:40:26 Like, why don't you just wait till after the show and meet someone after the show? I don't know how Dave feels about it, but I don't think in the last 20 years, I've hooked up with somebody that didn't know who I was. Well, I'm just gonna say this, buddy. You know what my lady is? Merch.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Yeah, that's right. Hey guys. Bobby, you gottach. Yeah, that's right. Hey, guys. Bobby, you got to get with religion, and that's merch. That'll take all the energy out of you. Put up a link right here to Dave's merch, please. That's his lady. ZockDoc is a free app and a website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network doctors near you
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Starting point is 00:42:14 I'm not leaving. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. It's just distracting. I can't do this talk while you're searching for prunes. Lovely. Wow. What do the prunes do?
Starting point is 00:42:24 Wow. Did you do any schooling or no? No. What do the prunes do? Wow, did you do any schooling or not? No, what do the prunes do? It's weird when an Asian guy doesn't know anything about protein. That is just really weird. What do they do? Yeah. They move things through the body.
Starting point is 00:42:38 It's God's ozempic. So anybody, a prune? I'd love a prune, throw me a prune. I would love a prune. Bob, you want a prune? I would like prunes. While you do your you do your speech good things easy to hose down these plastic chairs because thank you thank you thank you thank you I'd be careful with those guys thank you you're not used to them thank you one of them
Starting point is 00:42:54 right I'm serious I'm not fucking around one prune is gonna be careful with them what are you gonna make you poo like a lot yeah you're gonna shit a lot. Oh. Yeah, but one prune isn't gonna knock me out. I'm not. No, you gotta eat it, but you have to eat a bunch. If you're not used to it. All right, relax. Louis, one prune. I don't want you getting high off prune, man. Leave me alone, dude.
Starting point is 00:43:15 I'm making my own choices. What about dates? Are dates the same as brooms or no? Here. No. Eat all of them. Whoa, this guy. Sad.
Starting point is 00:43:23 Here, you want some? No. Holy shit. He's gotta eat all of them. Hello this sad here you want some no She's got to eat all them. Hello. These are delicious. I'm Bobby Lee. It's a healthy choice. Oh my god. I got a shit Anyone that's um Will you plug in Dave? I got the hot cross buns on Netflix that just came out check that this is the recorder Oh look at that or is they can the top ten least the saxophone Oh, look at that. Or as they call it in the Middle East, the saxophone. Now, I'm going to take you through it, because I know we got a lot of homeschoolers in the room who never played the recorder.
Starting point is 00:43:54 It's a musical instrument. It's somewhere between a flute and a bong, all right? I hate watching myself, but seeing my bags under my eyes, I think tells the whole story. Yeah, where'd you shoot that? Cobb, San Francisco, great crowd. And my crowds are really good, he'll tell you, my crowds love Joe. They kind of ruin you for other crowds.
Starting point is 00:44:15 Because they're so- They really are. You guys gotta come on my show sometimes, you love him. How's that room? It's so, the ceilings are so high. I love Cobb, we're about to go both do it. Yeah, I know, I haven't done it in.
Starting point is 00:44:28 You're used to the, you remember the punch line? The old punch line has a nudge. I love that one. Yeah, that's the thing, it's like some of those clubs, they really spoil you too, but I like Cobb's and I really love the crowds up there, they totally like, there's no filter with them, they like it hard, they're good.
Starting point is 00:44:41 But the punch line, I mean, if you guys could just sell less tickets, I'm telling you, it's the best. That's where I am. We you guys could just sell less tickets, I'm telling you, it's the best. That's where I am. We talked last night about Cobbs because I said, it's so funny that years ago there was like this weird, I don't know, narrative sometimes comics would be like, oh, San Francisco. Like they had this idea.
Starting point is 00:44:58 It was all bullshit. Yeah. It was all bullshit. Like they were like, oh, they're tight up there or they're- You don't think so? I do not. Every time I've played San Francisco, it doesn't feel the way that I was prepared for it to feel.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Because they're your fans. No, but even when I've known, when I first was starting out touring, when I first did, when I first played Punch, you know, whatever, it was still great. I mean, maybe I was also just a little, I think I was expecting worse, and so it turned out, I was like, fuck, this is great, I don't know. But I think that narrative was just filled into our brains for it turned out, I was like, fuck, this is great. I don't know. But I think that that narrative was just filled
Starting point is 00:45:26 into our brains for some reason. And I just assumed the worst. But now even more so, it's phenomenal. I mean, I have so much fun when I go up there. Cool, because that was always a big comedy town. San Francisco was like, a lot of great comics came out of there, you know, Ali, of course. Right, me.
Starting point is 00:45:42 And Louis, that's where you started, right? So you feel like it might've been tight, huh? I find it, I find it. Every time I go there, I'm like, it's beautiful, maybe I could live here, and then I do a set, like just trying to work out around town, and I'm like, nah, I couldn't, I can't work out here. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:45:54 But that's different, that's at like the little bar shows where I'm just working out between, you know. I feel like that's bar shows in any city are going to feel a little unwelcoming. Maybe. Being in New York for so long, because I've been living there for like 15 years, it changes. The West Coast, up and down the West Coast, the crowds feel different than, except for
Starting point is 00:46:10 San Diego. San Diego and Irvine are both pretty dope. We have so much fun in San Diego. Yeah. That's because he's from down there too, so it's chaos. Yeah, I love it there. That show we did there was magical. We get like an all Mexican audience down south
Starting point is 00:46:26 and it's my fucking favorite. It's my fucking favorite. Wow. They wanna party. Like they just want a full show to just go nuts. They're live right away. There is no like warming them up, you know? That's awesome.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Yeah. And they are loyal fans too. Oh my God, yeah. Bobby, you've done like towns You've done like that Southwest circuit that like you really have to be like, you know It definitely is like the Tex-Mex circuit like Corpus Christi. Yeah, I loved it I've never like I I've never played there Wow No, cuz so much we'll call it. I'm uh, you know, El Diablo Blanco, right? They just hiss at you? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:05 I mean, I've done El Paso. That's fun. Yeah, I love it. Have you done El Paso? All the Texas. Oh my God. I played the Maldi-Oyo, the Evil Eye. I played the, uh,
Starting point is 00:47:14 some kind of Mayan shit. Yeah. But you know, but there's some markets I've never even played, like Montana, North Dakota. Yeah. Have you done those? We're trying to, we're trying to do it. Stan Hope, Doug Stanhope was the only guy
Starting point is 00:47:29 who really has paved the path through those kind of areas where he'd just get in a van and go from bar show to bar show to bar show. That was like Wyoming, Montana. Bisbee. I played the Dakotas, but not like he has. So he's always the guy like, you know. Where to go. When you were coming out here,
Starting point is 00:47:45 did you ever do Tribble runs? Do you know what that is? Maybe just a little bit, but I never did the full one. You remember. Is it somewhere like scissoring? Yeah. Oh, how about a Tribble run? There was a guy who used to make a thing.
Starting point is 00:47:59 Look at that, Dave Tribble. That was his name back then. And he would get young comics to play like C Rooms, and you would do... Holiday Inn. North Nevada, Montana, you do Idaho, and you do small little... Yeah, Stano, I think, talked to me about doing them.
Starting point is 00:48:16 They'd be like six to ten hours apart, so your days would be fucked. You're in a van, you're driving. Yeah, and I lost money. I got two speeding tickets trying to make the shows. Really? Yeah, and I lost a bunch of money. Wow.
Starting point is 00:48:30 And I was crying the whole way home. I was like, I'm fucked, I can't make the money. Yeah. So sad. It's sad how there aren't good flights anymore. I guess I took it for granted all those years, like flights to Idaho, flights, all these different things, it's so difficult
Starting point is 00:48:44 to get to these towns But I still miss doing the towns, you know, yeah. Yeah What's your favorite town? San Diego is your home base. Go ahead. I'll tell you my favorite clubs. Yeah, it's so funny Comedy on State Street. Yeah. That's a great one. Fucking love it. Yeah. Denver the Comedy Works downtown.
Starting point is 00:49:09 Okay. I'm not yelling at you. All right. Just give us one more and then you can lay down. No, I want to keep going. All right. All right. I got another one.
Starting point is 00:49:17 I know what it is. Cleveland. Hilarities. Yeah. That's a great one. Nick. Yeah. He is a great guy. I mean, I love him. That guy's great. Yeah. Nick. Yeah, yeah. He is a, I mean, I love him.
Starting point is 00:49:26 Great fucking guy. So good. And after you through the week there, does he give you like a bat with your name on it? Like just he is a little something. Yeah, something like. You know, I know you have to fly. You're going to have to get this to airport security. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:40 You know, you don't mind carrying this wooden train that these prisoners made. They're big fans. But even when you, I've stopped by, like when we play Cleveland, I stopped by the club. Yeah, you know you don't mind carrying this wooden train that these But even when you I've stopped by like when we play Cleveland I stopped by the club That's nice, and he was there and he was so like you want a meal Yeah, let me make you something like he's like the nicest guy. I wish I went you didn't let me go And then there's that little alley printers alley they call it. Yeah printers alley. That's that's what it's on Oh, that's right that little alley with the coffee shop and the restaurant. Yeah. So tight.
Starting point is 00:50:08 So, and then, but they used to have one in Bellevue in Seattle called Parlor Live. Yeah, the parlor. It's no longer there anymore. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It's no longer there anymore. Yeah. What's in Seattle now?
Starting point is 00:50:18 What club is it? Laf's, but it's weird. It's one of those cities where it's like, there's not really a big club. There's Laf's, but yeah, everything keeps shutting down. Yeah. Why do some cities don't have a major like Boston? Does Boston have one? Yeah. Wilbur. The Wilbur Theater is kind of taken over. But it's not a comedy club.
Starting point is 00:50:32 It used to be a big company. Well, Nix was there, right? Nix and Laugh Boston. Laugh Boston. But they're both smaller clubs. It's weird. Portland has a better scene than Seattle and Portland's a smaller city. Helium Portland. Oh, yeah. My of the improvs, DC improv. The best. Give it up, Allison, so good.
Starting point is 00:50:49 Yeah, this is great. Oh my God. Yeah, but also, they don't give you the money you want. Sorry? Well, it is in a basement. We're only gonna give you this amount and that's it. This is what we give every, right? I'm like, yeah, but I'm gonna sell it out.
Starting point is 00:51:04 Yeah. Is this recent or years ago? Maybe 10 years ago. Okay, well, you're gonna get more money now. Okay, okay, all right, okay Dave. All right. Fuck man. I mean, honestly, well, otherwise play the Kennedy Center, okay?
Starting point is 00:51:17 But here are towns I don't like. Oh, here we go. Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh, really, I'm going there. Pittsburgh improv, I can't wait. Prove Bobby wrong and come to come to that you like it. Yeah, well, it's fine. It's just What was gonna say like it's me. It's more about the flight. That's the direct flight so I'm in okay direct flight big deal Oh, I have some shit right here, and I want to sit talk shit right now. Let's hear it Hartford Funny bone no and Virginia Beach funny bone no No fuck them Wow. He had me one time Right one fucking time and then I try to go back and they're like, it's not for us
Starting point is 00:51:52 Really? Yeah, it's not it's not for us. Yeah, because I show my little peepee for everybody Everyone knows I could see in Connecticut because that's a rough market. I mean, there's no, I play the casino there. That's what you should do. I've never heard of a comedian being like, I will sell out your club, and they're like, no thanks. Well, the contingency is his penis.
Starting point is 00:52:14 I mean, that's- Well, I didn't, it's not like I pulled it out. I just, you know, I'm wild. Yeah, you're crazy. I'm free and I'm wild up there, you know? But the beauty is you're not for everybody, and they're not for you, so that's a good way to put it. Yeah, but it's a business, right?
Starting point is 00:52:24 So if I'm selling tickets. Don't you ever just want to like rent out the parking lot across the street, say I'm doing my own show and say fuck you? Yeah. I fantasize about that all the time. Didn't Stan hope you used to do something like that? He did that at the-
Starting point is 00:52:36 JFL, right? At the JFL thing. And who's got the last laugh? I mean, it's Doug, am I right? Yeah. I witnessed one. He would outlive JFL. Did he really do that?
Starting point is 00:52:47 Yeah, he had his own party. It was dope. He rented out a car wash, and he just had it in the car wash. Yeah, and everybody kept dripping away and going over to his party. Because it was fucking incredible. Yeah, it was awesome. Why would you want to go to JFL if you could do that? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:00 Because they dissed him in some way or what? Yeah. Yeah. I think it was also that, he also kind of he just likes Making fun shit take place and just a place for comics to go like you know like all the you know the laws Corporate hubbub mm-hmm. Yeah, well it was like the cool thing was it's always you know those parts of they're like they're kind of parties But you're kind of schmoozing so it's not really fun Yeah, it's not so agents don't know how to have fun, and you know don't know how to have fun. He had an actual fun party at JFL.
Starting point is 00:53:27 Right. Mostly for comics. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doug is my favorite comic, so... Of all time, you think? Yeah. No, I think Doug, nobody does like him. No one ever...
Starting point is 00:53:36 He's like the, whatchamacallit, he's the original, I think. Who's your least favorite comic of all time? Well, in this room? Or... So you didn the lights again. Did you have a story where you and I, when you and him stopped talking for some reason? Was there like ever a fallout with you guys?
Starting point is 00:53:54 No. When you guys were writing together, why did it stop? It was, we were writing together for like four days. When I opened for him, it wasn't like it wasn't like months and months of writing together. I thought it was a thing. I didn't know. It was a brief, it was a brief. I didn't know. It was a brief. It was a brief. And he moved.
Starting point is 00:54:07 Yes. I tried to talk you out of it. He would come to New York. He's like, you look pale. Go back to LA. Everything sucks here. Because you're the, I'll be honest with you, out of all these years of writing with so many people, you were the best one.
Starting point is 00:54:19 Thank you. That's very nice. No one takes it more seriously. He really does the work. But he understands also the way I talk and my voice. And he was able to like cut around the fatter on the setups and stuff so we can get to the thing. And you're just able to like get my cadence down. Oh, thanks.
Starting point is 00:54:35 And so and then you moved. And like the couple of jokes that we did, I still have in my act sometimes. Awesome. And it's like, it's like, where the come back? Wow. Well, I'm back. So let's do it. I do live here now. Yeah, I have. I so let's do it. Do you live here now? Yeah, I'm here in New York, but I am here, yeah. No, but I thought it was gonna be like, we only worked for four days,
Starting point is 00:54:51 and then we wrote The Karate Kid. Like, it just ate together. It's just, he's footballing, I'm writing it down, and then I'm playing this guy, and I'm like, Mr. Miyagi, and he's like, watch out, Daniel. And it's like, just boom. Next thing you know, Emmy. I mean, whatever that is, Oscar.
Starting point is 00:55:07 He's come back, man. But I would love to work with you again. Well, maybe, I mean, how many dates do you do with Dave on the road? If you say headliner, he's his own guy. Yeah, less and less as it is, but yeah. Oh, so, okay, I don't want to downgrade you as a feature. My bad. As a headliner. I know that you're a headliner, right? Congratulations. I don't downgrade you as a feature on my bad as a head. I know yeah
Starting point is 00:55:26 I know that your headliner. I think congratulations. You have your own special everything. I do on YouTube. I know I YouTube all right Over a million watch out beheading videos Islamic Jamaahad I'm heading your way Anyway anyway,, welcome back. I'd like to meet your wife too. Oh yeah, you should. She's really nice. This will be great. Your wife makes a mean, what is that again? Turnip soup? You'll love it. She makes a great, give me a name something.
Starting point is 00:56:01 I didn't buy a Ukrainian bride. She's a not-turned-up-suit. She's a very nice lady, Italian lady. From the West Coast? She's from the West Coast. But we met in New York. I think when you live in New York, you're kind of still drawn to California people. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:14 Not Dave. Well, he's from New York, you know? Dave, is there a date where you're going to be like, okay, this is... I mean, is there an age where you're going to be like, I'll be 60 next year. It's going to either happen then or now. it's either that or I start a dog sanctuary. I figure this guy like one of those things like,
Starting point is 00:56:30 yeah you know the dogs get me. You know that kind of thing. Yeah, but you think, can you see yourself doing it at 70? No, I don't think I'll live that long. I mean, but I'd say 60. I probably may next year, but I already did a will, so. Did you really make a will? Yeah, I believe.
Starting point is 00:56:44 But you, because I can, like I already did a will, so. Did you really make a will? Yeah, I did. But do you, because I can, like I have arthritis in my hands now. No. You do? Yeah, yeah. I'm just, I can see myself getting old. Oof, that sucks. My knees, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:56:55 Those nunchucks really do, when you mishandle them all the time, it just makes it your nunchuck. That's true, that's true. Oh, so you're thinking now's the time, now or never, right? What do you mean? With a woman, right?
Starting point is 00:57:05 You want to get a marriage? Yeah, I think I'm... Well, I talked to this girl this morning. She's just had a baby. Okay, so that's the girl you're kind of hoping... No, no, no. She was telling me... She goes, mommy, I'm telling you, I don't know why I didn't do this earlier.
Starting point is 00:57:21 This is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Oh, how old is she? She's probably 34. Well, that's a good age for it. Right, right. I'm trying right now. Like right now? No, not right now.
Starting point is 00:57:32 No, but she is ovulating, so I have to go and bust it. You wanna get out of here? No, I mean, we'll see what time we get. How old are you? I'm 44. So it's totally fine. That's another great age. Yeah. It's a good age.
Starting point is 00:57:44 They're all good ages. Look at your staff of young men over there. What does that mean? They're great fathering years. Our vampire, Andre, he's 116. But did you regret not having a baby? Yeah, I'm regretting it. I'm regretting it right now.
Starting point is 00:58:00 Are you? Really? No, I do, yeah. I mean, like, you know, relationship, whatever, but I used to have some kids, but honestly, you know, the lifestyle we have is not very conducive. A lot of the road stuff is just, you know, endless amount of travel and all that kind of stuff.
Starting point is 00:58:16 But yeah, I would like to, you know? Yeah, but you could still miss Steve Martin did it late. Well, but he's a genius though. Everybody always brings them up. There's a lot of legendary comics, but Albert Brooks, but these guys are like one of the kind geniuses. Dave, you are that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:32 Alright. I can't see me and my son on a Tribble run. Dave, Dave, Dave. Son, have you ever been to Humphreden in Montana? Son. But you know you're a legend, right? I don't like this kind of talk. I know, I'm just saying, don't say it. I know, but you're like somebody that's like... Don't. I know, I're a legend, right? I don't like I know I'm just saying don't say it I know but you're like somebody that's like don't I know I'm going to
Starting point is 00:58:50 We're all in this I'm not smoking getting nervous, but we're all we're all we're all in the trenches together I know but I know but I'm just I do let me What I want to say is like I have Asian kids come up to me and go, oh, man, dude, like, thank you, and you're let, you know what I mean? And I go, I haven't made it yet. You know, that's the feeling. That haven't, like, I'm still trying to discover and get to the next level or whatever.
Starting point is 00:59:17 So it doesn't feel, it feels like I'm old when they say that. But in, it's true to them. Yeah, no. That they look up to me and when they were young, they saw me on MADtv or whatever I might be. Wait, what? I'm listening. Okay.
Starting point is 00:59:33 It was about me for a minute, wasn't it? Yeah. No, but I go back to you. No, but I liked it when you did. I wish you could both accept that about yourselves and stop talking shit to yourselves in your heads, you know? Yeah, yeah. Easy, Dr. Seuss, whoever you are.
Starting point is 00:59:47 So Dave, isn't... No, but I was just gonna say, whenever somebody comes at you with that, like, dude, you don't know, man, like, you're the man. It's always your worst day. It's always for me, it's like, oh my God, my catheter fell out, what are you saying? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:00:04 But yeah, no. But you hate it. I'm just not a compliment guy, but I understand, we've been doing this for decades, and the thing that people really don't understand is that the best comics are the ones that are fun to hang off stage and on stage. Definitely both of those, man.
Starting point is 01:00:19 It's just, you're a good guy. And always given to us. So it's a scene, it's a scene. It's a it's a lifestyle It's a lifestyle. Yeah, I think a lot of the new comics they come in and they kind of go like Do you have any advice still say and I'll be like well get comfortable shoes Cuz you're gonna be standing in front of comedy clubs probably the next 20 years, you know, yeah Yeah, it's that kind of thing take care of your feet and it's never what they want to hear But it really is like you got to like commit to it, you know
Starting point is 01:00:44 And once you can like there's nothing more you'd ever want to do, but it really is like, you gotta commit to it, you know? And once you can, there's nothing more you'd ever wanna do, so. It is unbelievable, I mean, you never think, cause remember the early days where you're like, I don't know how I'm gonna do it. I mean, what was your backup plan? There was no, I didn't have one. With your love of art and history and.
Starting point is 01:01:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I just remember going how, and then I'm so glad I didn't quit. Yeah. That's what it is. Just not quitting. Well, just hard work and talent. But yeah, not quitting is awesome.
Starting point is 01:01:14 I know, you gotta have that. I believe more in hard work than talent, but I agree that there are some people that are just gifted at this. But I'd say that the hard work, especially when things like you have those highs and lows and when like you're like, we talk about this all the time, like just this no new material, I can't believe it,
Starting point is 01:01:31 like we're trying and listening to tapes and all this stuff and then they finally get like the clouds part and like God looked down on you or whatever. Okay, great, well this will keep me going till the next, you know, till the next run. So. That feeling is so. And when you first start, that's what it is. You're like, oh my God, oh, I figured something out. I'll keep me going till the next run. That feeling is so. When you first start, that's what it is.
Starting point is 01:01:45 You're like, oh my God, oh, I figured something out. That'll keep me going. That's it. That's it. I like it. Is something happening under the table? No. Nothing?
Starting point is 01:01:59 No, I'm listening. I'm absorbing what you just said, the information. And that's right, I have to take more risks. That's what it is. Is that what you got out of it? Yeah, I think I'm absorbing what you just said the information. Yeah, and it's right. I have to take more risks That's what it is You got a movie you're you got a start I would love to keep saying that well We should just move on from it. Okay. Oh, all right, so we're not gonna do it again. What about do you exercise? Yeah, I do It's a little personal.
Starting point is 01:02:25 Sorry, my bad, my bad. No, I just had my shoulder operated on and that was like six months ago. And then you have to ease your way back in. So I do like a little hotel workout, but this is the guy who really, he actually goes to the hotel gym, which I don't like to do.
Starting point is 01:02:41 He does that, he's that guy. I can see that. I love it so much. It keeps me kind of guy. Yeah, I can see that. I love it so much. You do? It keeps me kind of a little sane, especially because it's like, I like the scheduling of it all. Because if I say I'm gonna go get coffee
Starting point is 01:02:52 and write and read and hang for a minute, then I'll go make sure I just go to the gym from this time to this time, then I feel like I'm good to not, you know what I mean? I feel like it frees me up in some weird way. I can't sleep if I don't do some kind of exercise. I got some kind of crazy energy or something.
Starting point is 01:03:07 I'll go sometimes on the road. I'll go for super, super late night walks. I'll just walk for a while and I'll get tired. Yeah, I'll just think it out, put stuff down on my phone and then I'll be exhausted by the time I get home. I like to walk as well. Yeah, love it. What?
Starting point is 01:03:19 When we're on the road, I'll wake up and then I'll go to the lobby and he's already had a full day He's got golf clubs, you know I mean, he's got all kinds of things meetings he had and I'm literally just like I'm just like And I just feel like I started a small business by the time But it's like Like will you just wake up at 8 in the morning?
Starting point is 01:03:44 It's like 7 o'clock every day so like when you're on the road, what time do you wake up. But it's like, will you just wake up at eight in the morning? It's like seven o'clock every day, seven. When you're on the road, what time do you wake up? I don't really sleep on the roads. I keep falling asleep in my clothes. Which I don't like. Do you really? Because there's something about, you put that hotel TV on and it's always movies like,
Starting point is 01:03:58 oh my God, Lord of the Rings trilogy. And I'll just watch a few minutes and just like the whole thing goes. And I'll just wake up in my clothes and I'll run downstairs to smoke. So I'd say the majority of the trilogy. I'll be like, I'll just watch a few minutes and just like the whole thing goes. And I'll just wake up my clothes and I'll run downstairs to smoke. So I'd say the majority of my action on hotels is going out to smoke, coming back in, reassuring the desk guy out front
Starting point is 01:04:14 that I'm not a threat. And then I like to walk, that's what I do. And I think, especially if you're like, it's rare to be in a downtown now. It's usually all these clubs are out of town. So you're like walking on highways, you're going, you know, like all these weird things. But when you're downtown, there's a lot to do.
Starting point is 01:04:32 So, or at least walk around. So I try and do that. Do you try to get hotels with balconies so you can smoke on the balcony? You can't do that. They don't want you to do that either. Oh really? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:41 Every fun thing about smoking has been ruined. It's gone. Even in Vegas, they don't, there's very few smoking hotels now. It's funny, there's a hotel we're playing in Vegas, and there's a hotel right near us that is part of the chain of hotels that they own, and one of them is non-smoking and non-gambling, and it's like right off the strip.
Starting point is 01:05:01 Wow. Who is that for? It's called Aria. What is it? Aria, right? What is it, an Amish? It's so strange though, it's non-smoking, non-gambling. It's not, it's right, it's not a casino? Or is it? Just a hotel.
Starting point is 01:05:14 Oh wow. Which is right next to where we're playing and it was weird because they talked to us about that. They were like, do you want to stay at this or whatever? What, do you want to stay there? No. Why? Because I want smoking and gambling.
Starting point is 01:05:23 That's fucking Las Vegas. Isn't it? Don't they have a lot of clubs there? It's around the corner smoking and gambling. That's fucking Las Vegas. Don't they have a lot of clubs there? It's in the corner though, man. What's that? Don't they have like night clubs and stuff there? Isn't it like it's still like no party there? No dancing. No, Tomas.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Yeah, no. Footloose. And the lights are an illusion. It's like there is no lights. It's CGI. No, that's just the brightness of the people in there. We're such good people. Hey, you're great. I would live there. I mean if I like Vegas second city. I would probably live there really let's move I'm with you, buddy. Yeah, yeah, we cool. They got great restaurants now. Yeah, 24 hours 24 hours
Starting point is 01:05:55 Yeah, you were talking about the access save a couple of bucks on taxes really yeah, Nevada. No state tax Yeah, Nicholas cage. Oh, we gotta go. Nicky lives there, you know? Yeah, Nicky's there. And Pauly Shore? Pauly's back now. Garrett Topp, there's a lot of guys we know that live there. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:12 And then you eat stage time. What is that? Stage time. Doesn't Regan live there now? Brian Regan. Yeah, Regan lives there. Regan moved there? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:19 But there's that club, Wise Guys, have you been there? No. It was great. Really? It was the one like off the strip, it's like, it was in the strip mall mall and I'm telling you, it was so much fun. Jeff Ross was in town so he came by and did shows with me.
Starting point is 01:06:30 It was just, the locals, they get it. Talk about a more jaded crowd. They live with these Cirque du Soleil people so it's like what they did. And it's also pretty big coin out there to go to see any show. It's so expensive. Comedy's pretty reasonable on that level to go to see any show. It's so expensive. So yeah, like comedy is pretty reasonable on that level, but like amphitheater style,
Starting point is 01:06:48 not so much. What's the room seat? Probably about 400. Oh, wow. That's great. Yeah. I want to play that. Why would you kill it?
Starting point is 01:06:56 Yeah, I'll play that. Let's do a little sneaky. You do sneaky one nighter there. Yeah, let's do a sneaky white. That'll be fun. No, sneaky white. White people are sneaky. You never see the movies
Starting point is 01:07:08 Sneaky that's not the Pearl Harbor was sneaky, but what they do sneaky sneaky sneaky and then bum-bum Beyond that Put a Japanese person in that movie man. Oh What an Oppenheimer? Yeah, it's already over. What do you mean? It's done. We can do it again. Well, Oppenheimer too, man. Well, you were the one, you wanted more black people in Black Panther. Yeah, I did. The limit. Wakanda's too small for me. Too small. He wants more. Bigger. More. He wants more. Look at, oh my god. There's a documentary on, I've already talked about this on HBO about, oh my god. What? About what? About fucking Hir Hiroshima Nagasaki. Oh, right.
Starting point is 01:07:45 Yeah, and then the people, so people ran into like, they had these vats of water. This is the fun part of the show. Yeah. It took a turn. You're gonna love it. Well, you know, when the bombs hit,
Starting point is 01:07:57 have you heard of black rain? Yes. No. What is it? That's the radiation coming down with the soot and all kinds of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When the bomb, that's the actual coming down with the soot and all that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When the bomb, that's the actual material stuff that goes up off the initial blast.
Starting point is 01:08:09 But people got so thirsty they drank it. Chemical. Oh no. Yeah, and then. What was there? Well, with the nuclear explosion, they had shadows of people that were just melted actually into the sidewalk.
Starting point is 01:08:21 Sidewalk, yeah, yeah. Cement. Why'd you wink at me just now? You winked right back at me. I know. You know why I winked at you. We love it. That was actually a cool movie.
Starting point is 01:08:30 That was, what's his name? Michael. Yeah, I liked that one. Oh yeah, Black Rain. Rock or rain. Could you ever be like an action person? You know, action star? Sorry.
Starting point is 01:08:39 Movie guy. That's actually the best, because there's very few lines for people like us. Yeah, can I, watch out! You're being funny. Bobby would be great in an action movie. Thank you so much, Louis. Two days ago I got offered one.
Starting point is 01:08:52 What is it? The lead of a fucking action movie. Yeah, what is it? It's a doppelganger, where I'm a doppelganger. That's great. You gotta say the word first. You're a doppelganger? A doppelganger.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Quite frankly, I think I'd be a good assassin. I do think you would be a great assassin, my friend. Number one, I don't sleep. That's right. And I'm very focused. Like, when I'm playing Stardew Valley, it's a farming simulation game. Sorry.
Starting point is 01:09:16 For his ancestors. For my ancestors, yeah. I'm very focused, and that's why I'm good at video games, is because I like grinding, so I'm very good at noticing things. Would a scope be hard for you to look through though? I'd get a different one, more adjusted to my eyes. And I think I could sit there.
Starting point is 01:09:35 Put your arm straight out. Can you hold your arm steady? Put your arm straight forward. Why? Just straight out. You're gonna shame me? No, how steady is your hand? That's the whole big thing about sniper's hand.
Starting point is 01:09:42 Oh bro, oh yeah? Steady hand. Oh fuck yeah steady hand Look at that. This is great. That's shaking you do yours Shaking no, it's not look at it. Yeah me either. That's pretty good. You guys are both pretty good. I think you can both be Looks like you both were hiling a young Hitler. Hey, little guy, keep it up. Keep it up. Young Hitler coming soon. One day you will be great.
Starting point is 01:10:10 I'm sorry to funny our way out of that one. Oh, that was during the 92, L.A. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Good old days. Do you remember that? Yeah, I was here. The Koreans were up on the fucking store. Oh, yeah. Fighting. Look at them laughing. Oh, I got cash on the fucking storm. Oh, yeah Fighting look at I'm laughing. Oh, okay
Starting point is 01:10:29 Thank why don't you thank our guests for being on the show they're really gonna end on that yeah It's always nice It's always nice to put it on that spot. Did we do it go long? Do we really do a long time? Yeah, awesome. See we're breaking it, did we really do a long time? Yeah. Awesome, see we're breaking it, dude. Over an hour, I love it. Yeah. That was long.
Starting point is 01:10:50 It was good. Thanks for having me, man. So let's plug your, Dave, Netflix special. Yes, Hot Cross Buns. Hot Cross Buns, Netflix right now. And big thanks to all the fans who've been watching it, supporting it, tweeting it, all that stuff. And my comedy friends, awesome, dude.
Starting point is 01:11:03 I can't thank, respect, love to you guys, thank you. Yeah. Louie Katz. Yes, I got a new special on YouTube and I'm gonna plug some dates too. I'll be at the. No, does that cut to it? No, don't do it.
Starting point is 01:11:15 Okay. Yeah, please, please do. Can I? I'm at Zany's in Chicago and I'm at the Punchline in San Francisco and I'm in the DC Improv also. Go to louiekatz.com to get any of those tickets. I will say this before we go.
Starting point is 01:11:24 I really do, I wanna give you, I know this is annoying for you Dave, but massive amount of props for you. You're always such a supporter of the comedy community and comics are my good friend Ian, who you know. Yes, just with Ian in Austin, he crushed it. Check out Ian, Be an Ian, that's his podcast. Be an Ian, which one?
Starting point is 01:11:42 And I would say if you're gonna see a guy live, he's the guy. This guy, great joke, Ryder. I mean, we're just talking here. This guy blows me away every time I see his stuff. I have a compliment for you. Okay, oh this is great, it's like a circle jerk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:54 And this is the true thing. Yeah. So any comic. Thanks for listening, you guys. Have a good night. Good night, good luck. No, do it, please. No, any young comic when they're like,
Starting point is 01:12:04 I don't know how to write or whatever, I always refer to them to some albums, right? And Skanks for the Memories, in terms of switches and just being in the pocket, I always refer to them to that album. It's one of the best comedy albums of all time, I think. It is. Yeah, it's just the jokes are so good. Oh, thanks. Yeah, so anyway, give them a round of applause. Thank you, boys. Thanks for being a bad friend.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo. Yeah. Woo-hoo! Yeah!

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