Bad Friends - The Power of P Compels Bobby
Episode Date: February 26, 2024Get MORE Bad Friends at our Patreon!! https://www.patreon.com/badfriends Tour Tickets: https://badfriendspod.com Thank you to our Sponsors: ZocDoc, Shopify, RobinHood & Liquid Death • ZocDoc: Find a...nd book top rated doctors at https://www.zocdoc.com/badfriends • Shopify: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at https://www.shopify.com/badfriends • Robinhood: Get the most for your retirement at https://robinhood.com/us/en • Liquid Death: Go to https://liquiddeath.com/badfriends and check their healthy infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closer retailer + free shippping. Pre-order "Drugstore June" here: https://tv.apple.com/us/movie/drugstore-june/umc.cmc.4mq4lzsalezgyhm9bk1gclnba 0:00 Bad Friends Is Not a Clan 3:23 Is Bobby Better Looking Than Matt Rife? & British Bobby Makes a Movie with Eli Roth 10:22 Bobby Play Kim Jim Un and Genghis Khan 17:46 Fancy Assaulted at Chipotle 23:40 Bobby & Santino The C-List VIPs 30:52 Trump Wants to Be on Bad Friends 38:57 It Rains Nuts on Bobby's Roof 43:40 Fight or Fright 56:55 Esther Povitsky & Her Mom's Visit 1:01:04 Drugstore June Posters in LA 1:13:36 Esther's Sister Was Not Jewish More Bobby Lee TigerBelly: https://www.youtube.com/tigerbelly Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bobbyleelive Twitter: https://twitter.com/bobbyleelive Tickets: https://bobbyleelive.com More Andrew Santino Whiskey Ginger: https://www.youtube.com/andrewsantinowhiskeyginger Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/cheetosantino Twitter: https://Twitter.com/cheetosantino Tickets: http://www.andrewsantino.com More Juicy Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jetskijohnson/?hl=en More Fancy SOS VHS: https://www.youtube.com/@SOSVHS Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/fancyb.1 More Bad Friends iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bad-friends/id1496265971 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badfriendspod/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/badfriends_pod Official Website: http://badfriendspod.com/ Opening Credits and Branding: https://www.instagram.com/joseph_faria & https://www.instagram.com/jenna_sunday Credit Sequence Music: http://bit.ly/RocomMusic // https://www.instagram.com/rocom Character Design: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreymyles Bad Friends Mosaic Sign: https://www.instagram.com/tedmunzmosaicart Produced by: 7EQUIS https://www.7equis.net/ Podcast Producer: Andrés Rosende This episode contains paid promotion. #bobbylee #andrewsantino #badfriends Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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You two are bad friends!
Who are these two idiots?
Why dude?
I'm an Asian dude.
You two are disgusting.
Well you two are something.
We're bad friends.
It's back to the old days. It's the two...
You and I, I have some problems with you, my friend.
I got some problems with you, my friend.
And my problems with you is I love you too much.
I love you more than I could ever love anybody.
It's getting scary.
You're in my dreams.
You're in my thoughts.
You're in my prayers.
You're in my daydreams.
You're in my mind.
Look who came back.
Pete, Johnny, whatever your name is.
Pete is back on the show.
Let's give it up for Pete coming back to the show.
I'm a good guy, man.
So happy that Carlos is gone.
And Pete, you brought us Monster Size Slim Jim,
and this isn't a sponsor plug.
He just brought us beef jerky sticks for some reason.
Yeah, it was a present,
because I missed you guys and I was in a long time.
So you want us to die fat.
Where were you?
Where were you? Bobby, I just been die? Where were you? Where were you?
Bobby, I just been busy.
Where were you?
I'm sorry man, did you need me?
You don't betray the family, you don't leave the clan, you don't leave the war.
That's not call each other a clan, that's not good for me.
Yeah, it is not.
I know, last time I said that online people got real upset.
I'm not in the clan, I'm not in the clan.
Yeah.
Not in any clan.
Stop tagging me in the clan.
We're in KK.
We're in 2Ks.
Yeah, only 2Ks, not 3, dude.
We're just, we don't have the balls to get to the 3rd one.
We're cool clan.
We're not clucks.
We're not clucksing it right now, dude.
You and I aren't clucksers.
I have never been clucks.
I've never clucksed anybody.
I haven't clucks.
But Pete, where were you because let me say something
You were you know in my heart. I have a list of names
That's in my heart that lives in my family which is in my heart and I'm telling you you're off
You're off the list now. I'm off the list. Yeah, sounds like it
No, but because I would it got to the poor. I was like, I don't even remember that guy is and when I came into this building
I'm really getting really sad right now emotional. I go, what is that fat guy going doing in here?
He's not fat
Where's the thick guy? Where's the thick guy? I think I actually Pete looks in the best shape
I think we've seen him in yeah, you look great. No, I think you should a bigger big bone your big bone
I am.
I'm good lifting weights.
People don't have bigger bones.
They do.
They actually do.
You look good.
I saw your Borderlands trailer.
Shot out to the Borderlands trailer came out.
Yeah, I watched it.
We'll just a little snip it.
It looks good.
It looks pretty good.
It looks like it. I think the movie's going to be rad. Looks pretty good. It looks like, I think the movie's gonna be rad.
I think it's, I think you're gonna be very surprised by the reception of Borderlands.
Do you think so?
I do. It's a, you know why?
Why?
How big is your character?
There's nothing like this.
You know, it's so funny that you do this.
Me?
No, him.
Oh.
It's so funny that you do this right now.
At this time and in this age,
the time of our lives,
in this time of our lives where we're feeling joy
and we're joysting in our own lives,
you have to put me down.
Yeah, you do.
And you have to put me in that fox hall
and you get down in there, you fucking rabbit.
I just saw Andron in a movie and he's like a protagonist.
It's like so cool.
Okay, he's comparing us.
You know what, here's the deal.
I wanna say something to you, Fancy.
I saw you put up a picture of you
with Matt Reif the other night, by the way.
That's right.
And you did say I'm better looking.
Yeah.
I think you might be better looking than Matt Reif.
You know how many, you're laughing right now, dude.
You know how many people direct messages me
is going, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Beautiful woman, too. So it depends on the context and where you see going, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beautiful woman too.
So it depends on the context and when you see us.
No, no, no.
It's beauty is subjective is what you're trying to do.
I don't know what that word means.
I know.
There it is.
Wow.
It drops to five.
Eli Roth.
Eli Roth.
Put out a film with Bobby Lee.
Who'da thought?
One scene.
Two.
No, but I have no lines in the other one.
Yeah.
My friend Charles is in town, he's from England. Hello, hello. No, but I have no lines in the other one. Yeah.
My friend Charles is in town, he's from England.
Hello, hello.
Hello, hello.
Jolly old England.
Yeah, hello, hello.
Exactly.
But anyway, um...
What are you cackling at, Doug?
Jolly old England.
Hello, hello, hello.
Bing, bing, right, sir, righty.
Right, sir, righty.
The San Francisco Trite.
Hello, hello.
Bing, bing.
Bing, bing, righty, bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong, bing, bong,
bing, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bong, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, bing, BING BING, Rice and Roney, the San Francisco trade.
Hello, hello. BING BING.
BING BING, BELLA BING BONG, VILLA BELLA BING BONG.
Welcome to London, England.
Over here we do.
Lock, lock, stock and two small con bar.
We do things a little bit differently here in England.
Anyway. You know what we do differently?
What do we do there? Lay them.
Lay them, lay them. What do we do here? Yes, Charles over in England
All right, we do everything wet anyway everything. I think I'm losing my accent. I think it's cool
I think it's my story more Asian. Yeah, yours turns up
Anyway, have you been to big Ben?
Have you seen the clock?
Have you ridden on the gems?
Anyway.
Have you visited one of our pubs?
You've got to go get a ship inspired a pub.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
yours is just a dog.
I know.
It's a dog with Down syndrome or something.
Well, no, it's in English from Essex.
From Essex.
It's a dog from Essex.
Oh, it is.
Anyway, I don't even know what I was talking about, dude.
We went on the border.
Borderlands.
Oh, yeah.
So, Charles calls me and he goes, hello.
I go, hello.
I'm in town for a couple of weeks.
And I go, well, let's go have dinners.
Well, I come to the shows.
He came to the show.
We had dinner.
You met him.
And then, I'm sitting there,, you met him. Mm-hmm. And then, um...
Sure did.
And I'm sitting there, a beautiful bloke.
Beautiful bloke?
Just a thick, handsome...
Right, delicious looking dude.
And then he goes...
Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff.
I'm just gonna do a little English talk.
So...
Good looking dude.
I love black guys with British accent.
I know dude.
If you're black with a British accent. Yeah. You get my panties all's good looking, dude. I love black guys with a British accent. I know, dude.
If you're black with a British accent, you get my panties all in a bunch, man.
Dude, without him, when I was in Budapest shooting it, I wouldn't have survived that, dude.
Because he was your boy?
He was a guy that, you know...
You guys were going out all the time?
Well, because, you know...
Dinners?
There's not a lot of guys that you can hang out on that movie, you know.
Like, what other guys are in it?
Kevin Hart?
Some once.
Who else?
Well, I saw him when we were doing scenes.
Every once I would see him like, because he was with like 10 guys.
Yeah, he's like Jesus.
You're like Jesus.
So I had Burger King with Jamie Lee Curtis one day.
What did she order?
Oh, one of those because I was with Penn too.
From Penn and Teller?
Yeah.
Penn Gillette.
Penn Gillette said that.
Man, was he doing magic the whole time?
No.
Didn't do magic once?
No, no magic, which sucks.
Yeah, you're right.
Like if you're hanging out with Paul McCartney, I want to give him a ding, you know what I
mean?
Yeah, give me something.
He had a lick once in a while.
Teller should have been involved.
He'd have done it the whole time.
So I had, and then, well, I told you what happened at the river.
Yeah, but tell me what Jamie Lee Curtis ordered at Burger King.
They have, I don't know if they have it here, but if they're, they have an impossible burger.
Yeah, I think they do have it here.
Yeah, so they got impossible burgers.
Fucking boo.
Boo boo boo boo.
You want to taste some Budapest cows, don't you?
Me?
That's right. You're in Budapest, right? Yeah. Do you want to taste Budapestest cows, don't you? That's right. Me?
You're in Budapest, right?
Yeah.
Do you want to taste Budapest?
You didn't eat meat there, did you?
Me?
Yeah.
I love the Budapest cows.
You love Budapest cows.
I love all their animals.
So what did you order?
Quite frankly, thank you.
A hamburger king.
A hamburger.
No, I think I tried to be impossible because they were saying it's like the real thing.
What are we trying?
There is.
Look at the horns.
That's a Budapest cow?
Yeah.
And you know what you can do with the horns? What can you do with the horns?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, hello, so you ever say the Budapest cow
They're delicious. Yeah, why I'm I don't know what it is about that
British accent I'm doing, but I really it's a guy I see in my mind. Yeah, you know what movie I saw the other day that like
I'm like, oh, this could be the greatest movie ever made sexy beast
I've seen this so many times great movie, right great movie and sir
Ben Kingsley is
Exceptional in that movie. You know what you know a movie he's so good in that scares me and is so sad the house of sand and fog
Oh, yeah, I saw that too. It's incredible
Oh dark. Yeah, beautiful great in the dictator, but anyway, I have a couple scenes with them
But my point is um
Yeah, just a little plug. Here's the deal you are very Hollywood
I know the joke on this show is but you have so much more Hollywood stuff than me way more
Did I do a show the other night with Adam Sandler the Sandman? Yeah time. Did he ask about you? No
Did he ask about you? No. Did he ask about you?
No.
Did he ask about you?
Yeah.
He made a joke about you.
What'd he say?
Boy, he always had a bobby up too.
That's a joke?
Is that a joke?
He said something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did he really though?
I don't think he did.
Yeah, he did.
Why would he?
Oh, are you guys doing it?
No, there's a way you wanted it.
Nice guy though.
What are we talking about?
Oh yeah, let's go back to,
oh yeah, the people in the movie.
So Charles, I hung out with him, without him,
I would have been so bored.
Him and I went to sushi together,
him and I would do things together.
But you know, the whole time I was like,
this guy's a very sexy black English guy.
I really enjoy it.
He is a very sexy dude.
What's his last name?
Bring him a photo so the fans can swoon over him as well.
Charles what?
In charge?
Barra.
Barra.
Charles Barra?
Barrako.
Barley?
Barrako or Barra.
Take the tube.
To Piccadilly Square. Get off, walk around for a little bit.
No, no, that's not it.
Was that some sort of English writer?
That's him.
Where?
Fourth picture, fifth picture in, right there.
That's him.
Yeah.
Look at how good looking that fucking guy is.
Jesus Christ.
He's Shaka Zulu.
He's Shaka Zulu.
That's right.
I'm not saying that in a racist way, but like, no, he's, they're doing a show.
They did a show time show about Shaka Zulu, right?
And he's Shaka Zulu.
Say it right, otherwise it does sound racist.
All right, so let me just get that over again.
Yeah, go ahead.
So, he's, he didn't recall with-
Stop pointing at him.
I know.
Oh, more racist than you are.
So anyway, he's doing a show time show called shocker Zulu. Uh-huh
This is the problem with biopics and stuff. Yeah me and you Morgan Freeman. Who the fuck could you and I play?
That's the problem. Oh my god. I could play Kim Jong-un. No
You don't look like him
Even with a lot of makeup, you don't have anything you don't have enough similarity sim. You just don't watch a smile. What?
He doesn't smile. So you're already there it is now
That's actually kind of close now that I see it again. Yeah, so I could get that do that I
Could also do well, let me say this hmm if John Wayne can play him I can play him
I'm Wayne did a great job. Genghis Khan. Did a great job. If you...
But you don't think...
Looks like Genghis Khan.
Put up John Wayne and Genghis Khan.
I don't think you're right, dude.
He looks exactly like him.
Okay, so that looks...
That's like a white dude to Halloween, dude.
That doesn't look like...
You know, he went to a really high end.
Look at that, dude.
Trick or treat treat pelgrom
There's just no way Let's see what oh yeah good little thing with gang is calling on the little statue. Yeah right there
It looks exactly like I see you do he does
Let me try to do that though
That's pretty good that That's really good.
Allow allow. Yeah, so I could play him.
Unlocked I have sex with all of you ladies.
You know what you do?
I'm getting this call.
Carrot top by a pick.
Fuck you. That's so fucking annoying, dude.
I knew you were going to go there or something simple.
I love how angry you got.
I just don't know a lot of redhead people in history
There's so many. Okay, Annie
Little orphan Annie. I could play Ron Howard in his second in the second coming of his life. Oh, we run hard. That's right
Or my bad or his daughter Bryce Dallas Howard. I could play her
But you could play that too. I would I would absolutely love to do a male rendition of Annie with me with little curls and a dude
Absolutely love. I wanted to do that too. I would love to do that too. It's a hot
Imagine me in it all the same people are about me. It's a hot night life
Dancing around. Oh my god, which are the Malaysian accent. He's a hot
Oh life for us. It's a hard life for us. Stay detreated.
Yeah. Maybe by the way. Oh, maybe we will not nearby.
And I fuck up the lyrics a little bit in the movie because that's what they would do.
And you know who would be, what was the old fucking?
Daddy Warbucks. You.
Yeah, you know who Daddy Warbucks would be.
Fancy V.
A hundred percent.
Oh yeah.
Joe, our bad little kids, come over here.
Yeah, yeah.
Look at them.
Come here, Rani, give me the hug for the picture.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on, Rani, get close to Daddy Warbucks.
That would be amazing.
Especially because Daddy four box.
Yeah, well, what about...
Who's the...
What was her name?
She was the orphanage lady.
Hand again.
George, that fucking nerd.
Yeah, George Hand again.
What's the song again?
I hate kids, kids are hating.
She's in the song, right. I beat him all the time
Running around cabinets, you know so that's a gooder. I think I would I would love that orphanage, I think you would have been
I think she would have had an attraction to me
You think cuz she gets drunk look how drunk she is Miss Hannigan would have been all about the little Asian one
Well, I'm the only male right right. Right. And you're Asian. Tokana. Your name is Tokana? Yeah. Tokana. Shishi. Tokana Shishi. Yeah. And he's like,
get over here, Tokana Shishi. Right. Come sit on his head and get his lap. Yeah. And
then I would probably make her go, you like. No. No. Don't do it. What no don't do it what don't do it do what don't do it I
was gonna say you like Asian gummy bears
I just like what are you talking about right leechy fave oh right and she's got
what let me try it, right?
And then I'm gonna go, it's a little mouth.
Uh-oh, okay. Uh-oh.
Why can't I do it? I'm the kid.
Yeah, it's a kid and an adult.
Yeah, but she's Miss Hannigan.
It's a scenario.
You're right.
How is that a bad thing?
Now, if I was Miss Hannigan,
I was saying that to a little person.
You know what it reminds me of?
It reminds me when they do those like porno ads
for like Peter and Lois Griffin online,
you ever seen that?
Were they like anime porn them?
It's insane.
Pete's, you know Pete's seen it.
Yeah.
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Yeah, yeah, I'm like,
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Hey, I just got us a new Coca-Cola spice.
Nice.
What's it taste like?
It's like barefoot water skiing
while dolphins click with glee.
Well, let me try.
Nah, it's like gliding on a gondola
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Nah.
It's like Coca-Cola,
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I want to bring up something detrimental to our family today.
It's an unfortunate event.
Andreas assaulted someone in public the other day.
I heard about it.
There was a fist fight at where were you Chipotle?
Your new name is Andreas Zimmerman.
Oh, and that lines up. That's your new name, dude. you Chipotle? Your new name is Andrea Zimmerman. Oh, and that line.
That's your new name, dude.
So what happened?
You did.
Explain what happened at Chipotle.
These two ladies got into a fist fight just in front of me.
Hmm.
Were they out of barbacoa or something?
What was going on over there?
There was a door dash bigger lady.
Sorry, what do you mean by that?
I'm making fun of their heritage.
What are you talking about? Like strong. what do you mean? I'm making fun of their heritage.
What are you talking about?
Like, like strong.
What do you mean strong?
Black people are strong now, dude.
I didn't even say.
How did you know they were black?
Right.
You just said he assaulted a black person.
No, I said he just got, he assaulted someone at Chipotle.
No, you said earlier black.
No, I didn't.
Is she black?
No, she was.
Oh, I don't know why that was in my head then.
My God.
That's why I said Zimmerman. I know. I know. What's that was in my head. Oh my god. That's why I said Zimmerman
I know I know what's going on. It was not a black person. It was Mexican and you were something Mexican
I didn't hold anyone I would just stop a fist fight and I just got punched in the face
He tried to break up two girls in a fist fight and one of them knocked the glasses off his little bitch ass head
How funny is that? Oh my god god some Latino chicks smoked this fucking she
could tell you were spanned free to public after you did yes wow I have no
idea I need I need help I need help that's okay type of person yeah he
wouldn't do that yeah yeah so and you got punched and then did she say sorry no
he was trying to stop the fight and they were like get the fuck out of here was
it two Mexicans leave me give you the description here.
No, the other one was black.
Not the one he hit.
But there we go, though.
Yeah, I know.
Okay.
Yeah.
And who won the fight, really?
The black one.
I think it was pretty even.
It was even.
Oh, really?
Yeah, the black one was 19, which is crazy.
How do you know?
She said how old she was?
Yeah, she said I'm 19. I'm crazy. How do you know she said how old she was? Yeah, she said, I'm 19.
I'm 19.
How did that come out?
Because the other one was like a grown-up woman, you know.
She was just beating on the 19-year-old.
And the 19-year-old girl said, I'm 19.
Yeah, I'm 19.
Wow.
Will they argue they're both post-mage drivers?
No, one was a worker at Chipotle.
And the other one was a post-mage driver.
Oh, wait, what?
You didn't say that.
So a woman that worked at Chipotle?
Yeah, she was just cleaning the...
Let me guess.
The Mexican worked at Chipotle?
No.
Wow, the tables have turned.
Yes.
Wow, the drama.
This girl is just cleaning the, you know, the glass.
And then this Postmates person like...
It's like Bridgerton, you know what I mean?
You're like...
You know?
It is...
Oh, the white people aren't gonna play in this movie.
You know what I mean? Yeah't gonna play in this movie.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So yeah, wow.
It is kind of nice to see there was a black girl,
a Mexican girl and a Spanish guy,
no whites involved in this crime.
Right.
Finally.
Yeah.
I feel good about this.
So wait, she's cleaning the glass.
The other person just walks and like hits her.
She just hit her.
Yeah.
All right.
And then there was a lot of like, slur.
That's interesting, dude.
Wait a minute.
But she just punch her and started calling her the N word
for no reason.
So she brush against her.
The other guy said, hey, excuse me.
And then she went buzzer.
Wow.
Punching and scratching her.
Who said the N word, the black girl or the Mexican girl?
The black girl called the Mexican girl the N word.
Yes. Oh, that's kind of. Oh, wow. a little balance. No, this is the equality that we wanted
Yeah, this is equity and inclusion everyone gets to be a
Other people around yes, okay, so I'm gonna say something where you fucked up. Oh
Okay, no one else stopped it by the way. No one else up. Do you why do you know why they didn't stop it?
I'm not getting them at all that fight. No, they want to watch it. I know it's a free fight free fight
You don't stop a free fight here at pay-per-view at Chipotle watching two girls go at it. Yeah. Yeah, never again
So you don't stop up what what Pete any of them hot? No, no, this Pete pervert Pete sliding in sliding into
No, no, this Pete pervert Pete sliding in sliding and
Yeah, it was did you happen to jerk off to it later on dress?
Don't you love street fights? I love it, but let me tell you something Pete hot women
Rarely are fighting and if they are it's not at a Chipotle. Yeah, okay coachella or yeah, exactly
Fighting over VIP wristbands.
My boyfriend's back there. Yeah. Yeah. I sucked his dick first. Yeah, we can all suck Wiz Khalifa's dick. Yeah, just get in line
And when do these when do they stop playing when post Malone gets on stage? Mm-hmm. That's when they stop fighting
Have you been to Coachella? Coachella? I went to I went to let me say it right. Yeah, I got it. Have you been to Coachella? Coachella? I went to, let me see it right. Yeah, I got it.
Have you been to Coachella?
Very good.
Thank you.
I went to like the fourth, whatever, it was early on,
years and years and years ago
when I worked in the music industry
and I was doing desk work and they got us tickets and backs.
They got us VIP.
Who was playing the M'Rum, remember?
I love him.
He's good.
The fuck?
Yeah, I mean, seconds album was the best.
It was probably the best album he's ever made.
Who was playing? Who was playing? Who was playing? Who was playing?
I want to say the closing night was the Killers.
Oh, wow. I love that.
I think so. I think that's right. Do the Killers Coachella. I think that's who it was.
I've had one nightmare experience.
What? At a Coachella?
Yeah. I didn't actually go inside.
What year was that?
What?
What year was this?
It was probably three or four years, right before the pandemic.
Click on the image of the Coachella image.
You remember when I did this? Can I just tell you what?
Okay. 2009?
2009, that sounds about right.
So Kalilah.
Wow, it was a long time ago.
Can you get us Coachella?
Because I know CAA reps people from the festival and they have connections.
So I call CAA and it's like, you're going to have to pay some. We'll get you a deal, but we don't just give out free, just like, I mean, you're gonna have to pay some.
We'll get you a deal, but we don't just give out free,
you know what I mean?
Yeah, they do.
Absolutely do.
They do?
100%.
So I paid for no reason?
Yep.
Okay.
So anyway, pay it.
You're Bobby Lee.
I know.
They can't get Bobby Lee a couple of fucking tickets.
Yeah.
But no, but they wanted backstage, VIP, everything.
I think there was a-
Who do you think they give those to Brad beat Bobby Brad it's not fucking
going over there he's too busy they give him the guys like Bobby Lee C list
celebrities that's exactly who VIP I know that's when he says that dude and
when he says that there's no shame on my part that's who we are see we're C list
celebrities god damn that's who VIP tickets are for.
B-listers don't want them
cause they're a little above it.
And A-listers, that's-
Me, Andrew, Vern Troyer,
that little guy from Webster, you know what I mean?
And we're all back there, dude.
It's me and you and little people, that's all it is.
Little people.
Oh yeah, so anyway,
I pay the thousands of dollars, right?
And then the day,
Claudia makes some phone calls and she goes,
cause I'm not going.
And she comes to me and she goes, you have to go.
Your name is on the thing or what?
Your name is at the will call and they won't give it.
I go, you think I'm gonna drive
two hours, three hours into the desert?
At least with traffic.
With traffic and they, please?
So now I'm on the fucking 10 you did driving I drove
all the way over there went to the will call got the tickets drove back dude the
power of pussy compels you it's that is that a lord of the rings they should put
that in it is it's in the Bible I think it's in Corinthians isn't Corinthians
power of pussy compel come power the power of pussy
It does compel you you drove to the desert if I was bleeding out right no no no desert you dead. Yeah, see yeah
There it is. I don't even know I don't even hear their scenario
You're dead the power of pussy. I'll leave it pales you the power pussy compels you okay?
It's amazing. Oh the things I've done drive to the desert
I know turn around and drive back
Well, it was also Jesus money compelled me because I'm like, oh, I'll lose all the money
That pay like if it was free, you don't care. It was more about that person. You're right. Yeah
Cut it out the things I've done for it. It's like all get you you like as a kid remember I beg my mom because this
guy our Kimbo was wearing Dracar. Dracar Noir. Yeah. And I smelled him. He bullied me that
guy. Yeah. Anyway, I'd go. Where's he now? I have no idea. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. We
took care of it. Thank you. He died. He died. I remember going, well, can we get your car? I said, Bobby, you don't, you smell fine.
You know what I mean?
But I went and got it anyway, right?
And then two years later, because I know ladies like it, mommy, can I get cool water?
Cool water, David off.
Right, David off, right?
I went and got cool water.
Do you wear a little curve for men?
Do you ever wear?
Yes, every time a new one came out.
And then even my 20, I was 25, I would call my mom,
mommy, could I get whatever I might be.
Abercrombie Woods, I used to wear that.
Wow.
Polo, I wore Polo Sport.
Yeah.
And then it got funky the smells like,
you know, the Santel 33.
Yeah.
You don't like it?
Santel, yeah.
What did you start wearing, Fancy?
What did the kids wear in Spain? I think Polo was a big one. Polo? Yeah. Yeah did you start wearing, Fancy? What did the kids wear in Spain?
I think polo was a big one.
Polo?
Yeah.
Yeah, polo.
But that's because you're rich, is that why?
Do rich kids wear polo over there?
No, I don't.
What do the poor kids wear over there?
Dirt?
Nothing.
Essence?
Yeah.
Pete, what did you smell like as a kid?
Cool water.
You're a cool water guy.
Water man, huh? What do you wear now, Pete?
Nothing.
Yeah, you have children.
If anyone wants to give me a gift,
get me golden goose, the tennis shoes I like.
Has a smell called Venice and they're always sold out of it.
It smells so good.
Give me a bottle.
Well, I'll tell you what, we tried to buy you yesterday,
but it's sold out and I'm fucking pissed about it.
I tried really hard, you know.
I know what it is.
What?
No. The apple glasses? is. What? No.
The Apple glasses?
No, they're available.
Damn it, fuck.
No, we tried to buy you the Trump shoes.
I tried super hard.
I actually went offline and tried to get them back.
The gold ones?
I was thinking about getting one.
I wanted you to get them, they're sold out.
They're fucking sold out.
I didn't even be worth something later.
They're worth something now.
I know, but I did like a whole bunch.
45, my guy, look at that.
Trump promotes $400 sneakers after
$450 million penalty in fraud case.
Hey man, you gotta make it back somehow.
And did it, I was sold out.
Well, he only made a thousand pairs of the gold ones.
And then the other ones are now,
go to Trumpsneakers.com I think is what the website is
or whatever. Can you get me some? I tried. Oh, size nine.
I'm trying to get you some Trump sneakers. If any fans out there have the plug for the
T-Sneaks, we're looking for them big time, dude. Get Trump sneakers or something like
that is the get Trump sneakers or some shit. I mean, it's just, they're so cool looking.
Even those digital cars he was selling a couple years ago, I was like, I should have
got some of those. I know. What are we thinking? Look at that,
sold out official President Trump sneakers. Sold the fuck out, man.
Damn dude. Damn dude.
What's that? 400 times a thousand.
It's not a lot of money. Not a lot of money.
For him, I mean, it's just. Yeah.
I mean, that's the good. They's not a lot of money. Not a lot of money. For him, I mean, it's just... Yeah.
I mean, that's a good point.
They're called Never Surrender High Top.
Wow.
So dope.
So dope, dude.
Somebody called them Insurrection 11s.
That's a...
Yeah.
Insurrection.
Those are pretty dope, dude.
Yeah, they look like Air Jordan ones.
They look like the ones.
Wow.
Anyway, thank you.
I mean, honestly, honestly dude This guy you
You can hate him you can hate him you can hit him you can hate him. I don't you can you hate him
I don't hate him. I don't know him. I don't know him either
But how can you hate him people hate him, but those are shoot those are great shoes. Yeah, those are great shoes man. So I
Don't hate him as much. What do you mean?
Well, there was a time in my life where I wanted him dead.
Why?
Not dead, but he's just bothered me, you know?
Right.
And then you realize that's a bad way to think about?
Yeah, about people.
And then, um, but in the last couple of years, I've grown to kind of like, you have to, okay,
so I know, I I know I know I know
like
So you ask your question
Why do people like them and then when you dive into why?
That's just the and then you kind of you can latch on to some of those ideas. Yeah, and then change your perception a little bit
He's definitely I don't want to get into it because I don't want to get canceled
But you know what you're not gonna you, you're allowed to have an opinion.
Yeah, but he doesn't, you know,
Biden doesn't really, I like him too.
Oh, you know, I like him too.
Didn't believe that for a second.
Yeah, yeah, I like him too.
Hey, what's the matter?
You know what I did this morning?
Dead on.
Oh, man. Oh man, you know, Trump wants to come on our show. You know what I did this
Oh man, you know Trump wants to come on our show show them the clip do we have that clip?
Wait send it to Pete
Honest quick honest Trump actually said he'd come on our show. We have a clip of it. Do you have it on trace?
But for real let me ask you something and that's's be give me the real answer if he wanted to yes You would do it. What would I have Trump on our podcast? Yeah
Yeah, do I want a billion dollar deal from somebody? I want to be Joe Rogan and get 250 million dollar deal
Yeah, because Joe didn't get Trump yet, right? I don't think he's been on the show, but look at this. I
Think he's funny a very funny Chinaman.
And I know funny, people say I am one of the funniest,
but he's funny too.
And if they ask me, I would do their podcast show,
Bad Friends, I think it's called, Why Not?
Wow.
Look at that.
Funny Chinaman.
You can call me Chinaman.
Yeah, hey, you better believe he can't.
Yeah. Pupupupup I'd have him on the show.
You know how much fun we would have with that guy on the show?
I'm going to throw you some names, so yes or no.
Sure.
O.J. Simpson.
Of course.
You would.
Of course.
I mean, I would make sure we remove Rudy's knives from the studio.
Yeah, you're right.
I stumbled on that joke, but I got it out.
That was really good.
Yeah, a really good job.
Thank you.
Who else?
So, Bill Cosby.
I don't think so.
There's a lot of open beverages in the studio.
I wouldn't drink anything.
I wouldn't.
I know.
I don't think I'd want to go around.
Oh, you wouldn't want to?
He's so fucking creepy.
He's creepy.
He creeps the fuck out of me.
All right, I'm just throwing names out.
Woody Allen.
I don't know, dude. You do look like a little Asian girl. I'm a little scared out. Woody Allen. Um, I don't know, dude.
You do look like a little Asian girl.
I'm a little scared of that. Yeah.
That's more of a threat for you.
I know. I'll just say, I'll just put the pigtails on Bissony.
I think I would spread my little legs open.
I would love it.
We cut a hole in the desk. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just staring and drooling at your legs.
So, nobody, no nobody know no Kevin Spacey
No, yes, oh Jay. Oh, yes. I think I said no to everybody. Oh Jay. No Woody. No, no Bill. Yeah
I said no to everybody except Trump so far. Yeah
What can I throw some more? Did you just say what who'd you just say?
Who Kevin Spacey
Who? Kevin Spacey?
Kevin Spacey.
Great actor.
Oh, you would. You know what?
No shit, dude!
Say that, dude.
I mean, I think the only reason I would
be hesitant towards it
is because of the amount of
young men in here like McCone that are on their
shit. Oh, right, right.
You know what I mean? Yeah, this kind of feels like a bar
Yeah, you know what I mean? There's drinks in my office and Spacey sees McCone and his little haircut. Oh, right. Well, okay
Yeah, young man
Help me get miked up for the show. Yeah. Yeah, I see and McCone's like no the microphones are actually on the desk
We don't do check. He's like I'd like a lava lia my
Yeah, why don't you tape one to my chest young man Putin no because I don't want to pay for a translator oh that's
right you know we got to have some other guy who's not really that's my biggest
beef with someone foreign would be tough what if they're fucking lying oh it
through their language don't you see that all the time in the translator says
something I'm like that's probably not what he said. No, no, no, no, they get there.
We get our own translator.
Oh, that's cool.
Right, so then he's lying.
Wait, what is the accent?
He's just my Russian.
You know what our translator is gonna be.
He's lying.
No, we'll get it.
That's English, what?
We'll get our English translator.
Yeah.
And he says lying through his teeth.
Yeah.
Oh, there, Putin's lying through his teeth.
Interesting.
But all of those, But all of those I mentioned would would be interesting
They would blow our shit up though, but in a bad way, you know who we want on the show is gypsy rose
I try so I went to my didn't we ask to get her on the show and she said no
It's fucking sucks and I said that I said it on I went I direct message her on Instagram fucking ghosted
Wow, but she said did she leave you on scene?
Or she didn't even know even look at it. Yeah. Yeah, I want gypsy rose man. What's it called again?
What's it called when you do that to somebody when you capture that what her mother did was called?
Munch-housen munch-housen munch-housen yeah, that's what Eminem claimed he had with his mother right wow
Isn't that true remember that he? He used to talk about that.
In that photo.
She looks like she could be related to you.
I know, but she looks a little hot.
She looks a little hot?
Yeah, photo.
Well, it's okay to say that.
She's an of age adult, right?
How old is Gypsy Rose?
You're saying it like it's not allowed to be said or something.
No, I didn't know it.
Isn't she 32?
32.
She's a grown up.
I know.
Yeah, so why'd you whisper it?
Why are you embarrassed about it?
Because, you know, when you saw the documentary,
you would never dream, would you?
That like, well, when she grows up,
you know what I mean?
Well, because they shave her head and all that shit
and give her those glasses.
Yeah, I mean, she looks, you know, not,
I'm gonna get in trouble.
Let's move on, but.
I know what you're saying.
She grew up.
She looks like a grown up now.
What can we say that she looks hot?
Well, it's not.
You could allowed to say she looks hot now.
She's 32 year old, she's a fucking woman.
I know.
You can say she looks good.
Give me another photo because that one I don't trust.
I mean, trust. Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, she's already married, right?
Isn't that her husband, that guy in the blue, the big blue shirt?
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Wait, she married that guy?
Yeah.
And he's got munch-housing syndrome.
He has it too. It's a cyclical thing. It's a different she married into it. She may well. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he's got munch houses
It's a munchkin. Oh
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Something about today is, you know what it is, I know what it is, you know what it is?
I know what it is.
I know what it is.
The rain fucked up your sleep last night, didn't it?
Yeah, it was too much.
I know.
Was that too much last night?
100%.
You know why?
I have this fear because everyone doesn't, people that don't know at home, the roofs
here in Los Angeles are made of paper mache.
Yeah, yeah.
The fucking, I'm afraid they're going gonna fall in because they're not made well.
The first year that we moved into this fucking shitty house
are roof leaked.
The first fucking year we moved in,
the fucking living room collapsed.
Wow.
Yeah, it sucked, dude.
It was like...
But here's what I get that you don't get.
Nuts.
Yeah, I'm not a big fan of nuts.
No, no, no.
What do you mean?
I have these trees.
Oh, it sheds, yeah.
With these gigantic, I don't know what they are. Big, beautiful nuts. Oh, you should it sheds. Yeah with these gigantic
I don't know what they are big beautiful nuts nuts, right brown nuts big beautiful not oh black nuts
Nuts, so this tree is like I'm a shed all these big black nuts. Yeah, it raining
Irraining dog big beautiful black nuts fall on your roof. So not only do I get the hard rain, but I get
So big beautiful black nuts fall on your roof. So not only do I get the hard rain, but I get...
Like this kind of...
Right?
And it just, it's...
Does it fuck with the animals?
Yeah, the dog.
Yeah, my dog hates when it falls from...
We have a tree above our house and when it sheds,
she's always like, what the fuck is that?
Like a branch will just hit the roof
and then she sneaks under the bed
and she's bummed the rest of the day.
And I had a flooding where I spent like $10,000
on getting in the upper hardwood floors
because of the balcony.
I have a gigantic balcony and it's,
and it flooded into my fucking thing, right?
So every five hours I go out there and to see if it's like,
because I've cleared the filter, the drainage I mean,
but it's like, I just get paranoid because I don't want to spend that much money. I'm like, it's like, because I've cleared the filter, the drainage I mean, but it's like,
I just get paranoid because I don't want to spend
that much money, I'm like, this is insane.
Any kind of flooding with hardwood and floors
is a nightmare, probably with rugs as well.
You're also in the hills, so you could slide down,
I think about you all the time.
What if your house starts to slide?
I'm not on the hills, man, come on.
When you say that makes me feel like, huh?
What?
I'm not in the hills, man. You're in the hills, you're a hills guy, I'm a flat. feel like. What? I'm not in the hills.
You're in the hills. You're a hills guy. I'm a flat. I'm in the flats. You're in the hills.
It's I'm but you're 52. I'm 40. You're more successful than me. I belong down with the people.
You're so much more successful. And you're above the other day. I would. We were at the
comedy store. Do you remember that whole court of people went Andrew and they hugged you and I walk by.
That was there. That was no. That was her cousin. Do you remember that whole court of people went Andrew and they hugged you and I walked by
That was there that was no that was her cousin and and no that's what reality is
reality is you're a beetle I
Just see this and you're a Beach Boy. No
You're Brian Wilson. Hmm. No, I'm I'm Ringo
Okay, that makes perfect sense. Yeah, Ringo's sort of more famous, no? Huh? He's more famous, Ringo. Then Brian Wilson. Yeah. If you saw Brian Wilson, Wagon Street and
Ringo Starr, who would you be able to? I'd go up to Brian
Wilson. Yeah, but most people don't know what Brian Wilson
looks like. They know what Ringo looks like. Yeah, but that's
only because of the publication, but Brian Wilson. That's not,
it's tit for tat. Let's, I don't know what we're doing right
now. Look at him. Yeah. Can you imagine that guy laid in bed for how many years was it?
He just laid in a bed. Yeah, remember when he was like had a gorophobia or whatever couldn't leave that house
He's still alive right?
You know, I don't know this is what's bad about this show because we're gonna talk about it
He's gonna die in a month. Oh, that's right. We do this all the fucking time and I hope how old is he?
81 years old. He's 81
Fuck what close we're gonna do it He's 81 years old. He's 81. Still alive. Oh, fuck. What?
It's close.
We're gonna do it.
We're gonna do it.
I guarantee you he's gonna pass soon.
We just did it.
Fuck.
Whenever we do...
How many months though?
Let's make a bet.
All right.
Let's make a bet.
I'm gonna go...
I'm gonna go three.
Oh my God.
Why are we doing this?
I don't want him to pass away.
I don't want him to.
August.
August, okay. I get August.
In August he's gone.
And God bless you, you are what a talented man.
Let's just do a fucking-
A death pact?
Right now?
A death poll?
No, a death pact is when we both do it, right?
You let, we gotta get rid of this voodoo.
Well, you know what we should do is-
No, we gotta do a seance right now.
You know, Paulie's trying to get me to do
his ayahuasca with him.
Paulie's doing big ayahuasca trips now
Hmm
Yeah
Because D and I just the ayahuasca is like all right, right? And then he started
Taking his hands and twisting my nipples
And he wouldn't let go that's what they do after ayahuasca
So that's what happens. It's a one of those effects. That's how you that's how you really tune into God
All right, twist your titties and then it hurts so bad. Oh, yeah
He doesn't assault you huh? He gives me big tight hugs. Oh, he does
Hmm, but I'm not so bigger than you guys
Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it's hard for, a littler guy, hard to assault a bigger guy.
But since he was raised with Asians.
Yeah, he was raised by Asians.
By Asians.
Whenever he sees me, he gets so excited.
And I have this like flight or fight kind of response.
But I let him do it.
So funny to hear you say that.
What?
Fight or fright.
Because it's almost like a perfect non-Asian phrase. Almost fight or fright. What is it? Sorry? Fight or fright. Because it's almost like a perfect non-Asian phrase.
Almost fright or fright.
What is it, sorry?
Fight or fright.
Almost fight or fright.
Did I say it that way?
It's like you own a haunted house.
Fight or fright.
Come in tonight for fright or fright.
But, you're gonna be scared or getting a fist fight.
Fist fights will be broken up.
You are on today, dude. You know what know you're on an accent kick today, dude
I don't know why you're on a rhythm dude. You know why the rain brings out my accents. What's amazing?
Also this morning on the radio or on the I heard a preview
For some guys new show that's where the British thing came from and it sounded so funny made me laugh
He's a gold serious. It was so thick. It made me laugh.
So it got in my mind.
Wow.
Once it sinks in, Mao, do you say Mao?
I said Mao.
You mad?
Oh, what is it?
Wow, I said Mao.
You said Mao.
Wow.
Mao.
Do they say that over there?
Do they say Mao instead of Mao?
Mao.
Oh, Mao.
And then some guy comes out of the hot, me?
Not you, wow. And then some guy comes out of a Oh, you are you're I fucked it up Yeah
Fine or right yeah, it's supposed to be flight light yeah, but I mistake are you right fuck and maybe I did say mile
Which is interesting that you messed up fight or flight because you always flight you never fight you hate confrontation
You much rather flight. I've been sitting up. I know I've been sitting boundaries
Tell me a boundary you've made recently I just you, you know, when people used to come talk to me
in a certain way, you know, and I used to absorb it,
like, you know.
And people that we know, friends of ours?
Yeah, comics and stuff, you know what I mean?
I go, hey man, I don't like when people talk to me like that.
Oh, I like this, like people are disrespecting you as well.
Yeah.
Like who's disrespected you recently?
You.
You.
First of all, I'm your best friend.
I know, but I did, I tried to set a boundary with you. We have boundaries, we have very best friend. I know, but I did.
It's different.
I tried to set a boundary with you.
We have boundaries.
We have very honest.
I try to set a boundary with you.
I don't want to bring up anything,
but I'm just saying that I said something in that.
And I remember saying it, I'm going to say it.
What did you say?
No, I don't want to get it out of there.
What did you say?
I don't want to, you're the one that,
wait, you're the one, this is a trick, dude. What did you say? All right? Let's all right, so
Sometimes when you make fun of Tiger belly, it makes me mad a little bit. Okay, so I go. Hey come on man
Don't talk about with that like that. Okay, and then you kind of went okay, and I respect that yeah
Yeah, and I and I don't and then you did it like two times after that
But but and I'll never do it again.
But my point is that that's comedian instinct instinct.
Right, right. Because you know how my heart where my heart
lost. Yeah, I know. First of all, let's clear the air.
Yeah. I have a hard time telling you anything.
You know how much I love about what about Tiger Valley?
No, just in general, like I don't want to like you call me every day.
I know we do. I know.
Can I just let's just get this out of the way then.
All right. Why are you laughing? OK, let's do it.
All right. It's it's because I love you so much
and because I love this podcast
and I love what we have going here.
That a lot of times I go,
I shouldn't say that because I don't wanna get a fight
or this and that's why I absorb it
because I don't wanna ruffle any feathers.
I want it to be smooth.
And I feel like Simon and Garfunkel,
there was one point where they got in a fight
and all of a sudden it was over, right?
And you and I never fight in that way,
but I'm just saying that, you know,
I get a little bit more scared when it comes to
any kind of confrontation with you.
I said it.
Yeah, but you can tell me anything.
I know.
And I've never not been supportive of you.
In our whole friendship.
Ditto.
But so I'm saying.
That's not what I'm saying.
So what is it that you can do?
What I'm saying, ditto, that's not what I'm saying.
The tiger belly stuff is a crux of it, big time.
It's not even that, you do it as a joke, but it's like sometimes Iitto. Well, that's not what I'm tiger belly stuff is a crux of it big time
It's not even that you do it as a joke, but it's like sometimes I just feel like that's fine I don't even and you you haven't done it since then and that's fine. And you know how much I love Kalila. I
Understand I just don't like you ever ask me. I just hate Gilbert. I know Gilbert socks
I mean there's just you know Jesus, but with you is the hardest because I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but when I said
that I was just like, I'm glad I said that.
I'm glad you said what you...
Right, so what I'm saying is that, but in the world, comedy world, and also I'm not
as like scared to like say things to people like, you know.
Lately you've been letting go of...
Well, like the Matt Reif thing the other...
Last night.
What happened?
You left.
Yeah.
You did a show.
Yeah.
And then it went up Liza.
That Matt Rife comes in, right?
And then somebody was trying to get Matt Rife
to go up before me.
To bump you.
To bump me, which is fine.
But I remember saying, no, like, yeah,
I think Josh Adam Myers goes,
hey dude, Matt Rice got a girl.
No, he goes, I'm not gonna do that to you.
Yeah.
Right, and I go, okay, thank you.
But then when Matt was there, I was just like,
you know, I woke up to Matt, I go,
you wanna go before me?
You go, I mean, I have another spot.
I go, okay, go ahead.
When that happens, it's fine.
It's my decision.
You mean, sometimes when you're at a club and they go,
yo, Tee William, I'm just made up a name,
wants to go before you.
He's gonna go up before you.
And they tell you what's gonna happen.
I don't like that.
All right.
So now I can go, no, I can go, no,
or I can go make my own decision.
I'll decide.
Yeah, yeah.
Did Matt was on the lineup?
Was he on the lineup?
He was on the lineup now.
So he was a pop in.
Yeah.
And then he also had another spot?
Yeah.
Mm-mm-mm.
What do you mean?
Mm-mm-mm.
Don't do, oh.
He doesn't get to do it?
No, here's the deal.
Yeah?
This is an incorrect move.
Oh my God.
Comedy is chess, this is a bad move.
It's not a bad move.
What are you talking about?
I love Matt.
It doesn't matter. Here's why.
I love, I like the kid too. It doesn't matter.
My point I'm making is if you had another spot,
then you don't do a slide into a what another show.
If you have another time constraint, I think he lied.
Oh, well, that's even worse.
Because in my head, I'm like, what spot do you have?
It's 11 at night.
Well, then that's even worse.
But I don't know. I don't know. No. So then night. Well, then that's even worse. But I don't know.
I don't know.
No, so then what we're saying is that's even worse.
Then you should say I'll go whenever.
You've never done that?
I've lied.
I've said to people, oh no, I got two spots.
I got to go up right now.
I've never lied about have another spot.
If I'm bumping in on a show, I'm not even.
I've never bumped in on a show.
So case in point.
Yeah.
This is literally the point I'm making.
If you're going to bump in on a show, you can't have another engagement. That doesn't make sense. You slide in on a spot like Chappelle does it all right?
I'm doing a learning lesson for people. I'm a learner. You're learning right?
I'm a learner. Do I just don't bump we don't slide in fact. How guilty did I feel the other night?
There's miscommunication on the show that we were both on you literally said you know that was bullshit what you did
What was bullshit?
That's another boundary when I said here we go right boundary time, okay? Oh don't do this. No, what's the boundary?
Don't you raise your voice?
Fuck you you raise your voice
Now he's scared now. He cannot put the boundary. Yeah, no I'm gonna put the boundary down, man. See, he's up.
What you did was sabotage.
How did I sabotage?
Don't do that with your little eyes,
your little Chicago, Italian eyes.
First of all, let's not talk about little fucking eyes here.
All right.
All right.
But you do this little thing.
Hey, hey, hey.
Grass house.
Don't throw stones at the grass house, all right?
Fight or fright.
Fight or fright.
Okay, so Friday night, were on the line up.
And I had to cancel.
Stop. Let me...
Can I...
You know, I hate when you do that too.
Because...
When you roll your eyes.
Because you're talking about it like you know.
You didn't know what happened.
You were there.
Oh my god.
Friday night, go ahead.
I just rolled my eyes too.
You see it?
It's harder to...
I'm doing it with my head. It's harder to see when? I'm just rolling my eyes, dude, did you see it? I'm just rolling my eyes, dude, did you see it? I'm just rolling my eyes, dude, did you see it?
I'm just rolling my eyes, dude, did you see it?
I'm just rolling my eyes, dude, did you see it?
So, fuck you, dude.
Let me say something, okay?
I'm fine with your sabotage and your little antics.
Oh my god, dude.
I just said, I love you immensely.
I didn't sabotage anything.
I'm fine with it, dude.
I had to cancel on Friday.
What happened on Saturday?
Let me tell the story, man!
You tell my story.
All right, so Friday, I'm at the comedy store, right?
And I go, oh, Andrew's gonna be here, this is great.
And then somebody came up to me and said, Andrew canceled.
Friday night, Friday night.
Yeah, Friday night.
I don't care what the excuse is.
And you have every right to,
even if you didn't feel like doing it,
you have every right to cancel, okay?
So Saturday night, you're not on the lineup.
All right?
You only canceled Friday night.
Yeah, they canceled Saturday on accident.
They don't do that.
They did.
Okay.
Anyway.
Do you want proof of it?
I'll call Emily right now.
No, no, no, stop.
Do you want me to call her?
No, don't do it.
Yeah, cause you'll be wrong.
So they did it on accident.
Let me call Emily.
Go ahead.
It was an accident.
She thought I was canceling both spots, but I was only supposed to cancel Friday.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, but okay, even if you're not now, they took you off the lineup, which they did.
Yeah, how would I know?
Exactly.
Yeah.
But how do you know what time you had?
What do you mean?
You went up before me.
Oh, this is exactly how I know.
Yeah.
Because the booker said, I slid in Mazin your spot because you weren't there
I thought you weren't there so boom boom fuck you
Fuck you
How's that boundary? I always get this random number from let me road island can we pick it up pick it up pick it up pick it up
Yeah
Hello
Hello Who Yeah. Hello? Hello?
Robert?
Who?
Oh, yes.
Hi, Robert.
Actually, this is Lee and this code will be super quick because it may not apply to you.
What the fuck is it?
What's going on?
Hello, Robert.
Can you hear me?
Yeah, fuck.
That's how you handle it. For everybody at home, that's how you handle one of those calls.
You act belligerent.
You don't do that?
That was so good.
I never fucking come fuck.
I never pick it up.
Yeah, you gotta come fuck.
Yeah, fuck.
And he just hung up scared.
Robert?
Yeah.
Yeah, fuck.
Yeah. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. Anyway, Emily. And fuck. And he just hung up scared. Robert? Yeah. Yeah fuck. Yeah.
Anyway Emily. And that'll teach him a lesson. Yeah. No don't call her she'll panic. She will? Yeah dude
She'll freak out. She slid in Moz for me
And then I got there and I was like oh I have a guest I have a guest here
I got there and I was like, oh, I have a guest here.
To see, I have two guests to see me. My buddy Jake Lacey, phenomenal actor
who was in town during the People of Choice Awards.
Who did I'm Dying appear with me?
Who was up for an Emmy for fucking White Lotus?
Who's on a new amazing film?
And then Mark Rebier came to see both of us.
And Mark.
Can I say something?
What you did?
Yeah. I'm glad you brought this up because now it's bringing, and Mark. Can I say something? What you did? Yeah.
I'm glad you brought this up
because now it's bringing me another thing.
What did I do?
After your set, you took all those guys out of the room.
What are you talking about?
They weren't there.
What are you talking about?
When I got off stage, all your fancy friends
were not in their seats and they had not seen my set.
How do I, what do I have to do with that?
After your set, this is what I believe you did.
Let's go out in the patio and party.
Oh, you know me.
I'm a big patio party guy.
No, but let's go talk or something.
I go home every time after my set.
Interesting, because when I went to the parking lot,
you were still there.
With whom?
Polly.
Yeah, he cornered me.
Okay.
Oh.
Oh.
This is our lives. Yeah, This is what we think about it. We have nothing better to do.
You know what I mean? All right, can I give you something? Go ahead. Let's move on. All right.
I got dry needled this morning. It's revolutionized my life. Pins in your back. I'm gonna do it all
the time now. Pins in your back. Pins in my butt and my back, in my glute and my back.
Dry needling, I think I'm going to do this all the fucking time.
It feels great.
Amazing. Here's what they do.
They put the needle in there.
Yeah.
Then he moves it around until your muscles, your muscle like retracts and twitches.
Yeah.
Because it's releasing and then he lets it sit.
Sometimes I go to with a guy and he puts on UV light on it, kind of like extract some of
the shit.
Yeah.
And I gotta tell you, you guys, ancient Chinese medicine, so good.
The best.
It's amazing.
It's fucking amazing.
Is there ancient Korean medicine, by the way?
Why people giggling?
What's going on?
Surprise!
What?
Who is it? Hey. Who's the on? Surprise! What? Who is it?
Who's the surprise?
Ohhhh!
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
Someone doesn't look fatter than usual.
Yeah.
Est?
Mom.
Is your mom here?
Your mom's here?
Mom.
My God.
Sit down, sweetie.
I love your mom.
Is your mom here for the premiere?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Hi, mom.
Come on in.
Hi, mom.
Come on in.
Ladies and gentlemen, Esther and her mom.
They're here.
I love your mom.
Put on the headphones.
Mom, have you been here this whole time?
This is the last time I saw you?
No.
I went home for five days.
And you came back?
She had to go get my dad because he can't travel by himself.
Why is that? Because he's 80. oh, and he's a liar. Oh
And he lies to the TSA. He's like I do have a bomb in my bag
You um are you excited about tonight's premiere? I'm not
Why I'm serious. No, it's just cuz you know when your parents are there and it's like embarrassing
No, cuz Bobby and I our parents don't support us.
Yeah, that's why I say, yeah.
You don't have to wear them if you don't want to,
but it's nice for sound.
Maybe you can hear how you sound in there
and then you can judge your own voice.
Yeah.
Oh, I probably won't like how I sound.
I mean, you sound amazing.
Like Judy Dench.
I like just to write it.
First of all, it's Dame Judy Dench.
Just out of my bag.
Yeah, you have to say that.
No, but we, so my mom was here two weeks ago and...
Can you pull your shirt up?
You're pulling it down.
I'd rather it be up if you don't mind.
She was here two weeks ago and we have like all these security cameras at our house to
monitor my dad like entering and leaving.
And we caught him in a lie about going to a casino.
And so she had to fly back to get him and bring him.
Is this in Chicago? Do you go to Rivers? Where do you go?
He's banned.
He's banned from Rivers.
Yeah.
Why is he banned? Why is he banned?
He's banned from Rivers casino.
He's self banned himself.
Oh.
He didn't do anything inappropriate and they kicked him out.
No.
So he had to drive to Pottawana B.
Yeah, you got to go to Pottawana B.
Pottawana B.
Yeah.
That's a good one. Do you know it? No, I can't. What do you mean? We're from Chicago. Yes. What are you talking about? So you went to Padawana B. Yeah, you gotta go to Padawana B. Yeah, Padawana B. You do know it. No, I can't.
What do you mean?
We're from Chicago.
Yes, what are you talking about?
So you went to Padawana B.
Padawana B.
Yeah, yeah.
Which by the way,
Don't, don't.
No?
Yeah, I can't.
Do what?
Well, I was gonna make a joke about,
you know, little Padawana B.
And you know,
No, go ahead.
I'll show you, did.
Oh, reservation dogs?
Yeah, yeah
What's the joke?
Anyway, he's banned. Yeah
You know, you know, you know, baby gap the clothes at baby gap. Yeah, it's actually for the babies not you
You know, you're not actually bear. Yeah, just because you have a baby
It's actually for the babies, not you. You know you're not supposed to actually bear.
Yeah.
Just because you have a baby.
This is a skims, okay?
Oh, is that Kim Kardashian?
Yeah. Wow.
Also, you guys have been having my literal,
my closest friend on your show.
Who?
What?
Greg is like one of my closest friends of the comedy show.
First of all, he's never mentioned that.
Also, never mentioned that.
He's never mentioned that.
Also, he's not your closest friend.
He is.
He's our closest friend.
We've asked the goop, first of all, his name is the goop.
The goop, yeah. And we've asked the goop, first of all, his name is the goop. The goop, yeah.
And we've asked the goop multiple times
who his closest homies are in the game
and you didn't come up once.
Have you gone to see Wicked with him once?
No, but.
Have you gone to an Adele concert with him?
You know that he's taking me to Madonna.
He's the only person I've ever had common interests with
at the comedy store.
Like every time I see him, he just, he and I have,
we talk about Casey Musgraves, Lady Gaga,
my life's hard, it's like he's my closest friend in comedy.
Okay, I mean, I don't buy it.
I don't buy it either.
I've never seen you guys together.
Sounds like bullshit.
It's very interesting, you know?
And you know, I could play the same game,
Brad Pitt's my closest friend.
That's actually not funny, that is true.
That is true.
Yeah, they've been hanging out a lot lately.
Yeah, we have some similarities.
You were in seven.
Yeah, Tech 1 Doh, we love Tech 1 Doh.
Yeah. And we love Grease, the musical. The out. We have similar similarities. You were in seven. Yeah, Techwondo. We love Techwondo.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And we love Grease, the musical.
The movie?
Oh, the music.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And actual, actual Grease for the car.
Love Grease.
Yeah, so let me say something to you.
How do you feel about the billboards around town?
With your face on it.
Your tongue, your face.
Let's ask your mom.
I don't want to hear from her anymore.
How do you feel about seeing your daughter around town on billboards?
Is that amazing? Well, I haven't actually seen one but I've seen the
pictures. Yeah that's pretty cool. Pretend like you're... Look at the billboard. Oh my gosh yeah
that's amazing. It's amazing. And by the way just just above Sunset Liquor. Look at that.
Yeah. You can't get better placement than that baby. Could I ask you a question?
Why did they put... Zoom in on that photo. Yeah how did you get all those sprinkles on your tongue?
It's actually not my tongue.
And they go toward the center of the poster?
No, they'll sit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go down.
Why is my name in yellow?
I had nothing to do with that.
I don't make these decisions.
Okay.
Oh, every other name.
One was white one.
I understand.
Yeah, but Bill Burr is white. I understand. I understand.
Yeah, but Bill Burr is white.
They could have put yellow and reverse.
Anyway, it's a great poster.
And you know what's nice about it?
It's your face.
It is not my tongue though.
No, but what I'm saying is it looks like you.
It's weird when I see posters for films or television shows and it's like, that's not
that.
They've airbrushed it so much or they've done it where you're that's not the person that I know. Oh thank you. So this is
your face it's nice. That's a really good compliment that it looks like me still. It is you what do
you mean what's not you about that they didn't they you're just wearing makeup they didn't do
anything to you. Thank you. Why did they do stuff and I just don't know. Did they photoshop you?
Yeah did they photoshop? Well they have to photoshop everyone like a little bit. Well, they can't look like you.
You know what I mean?
They can't be you.
She didn't get all your jeans, huh? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha She took after her dad. Yeah. Oh really? What does the dad look like? A Jewish man. Okay
I see apparently the apple does fall pretty far away from the tree sometimes
So, um, have you seen the movie yet Esther? I have I was involved in editing and stuff I haven't watched it. I'm gonna watch it tonight though at the premiere. I'm not you know
I'm going but I'm not watching it really. I'm leaving
I actually was considering that too because it is a little stressful to be in a room full.
The move is to leave.
Yeah.
I'm leaving.
I left the last bunch of premieres.
My agent was with me last time and he was like, after we say hi, just go inside and
then we leave.
And I was like, is that a thing?
He's like, yeah, what do you mean?
We'll go get sushi.
Oh, okay.
He's like, you don't want the anxiety of being in the room?
I was like, I don't.
Yeah, it does feel scary. Oh my God. He's like, you don't want the anxiety of being in the room? I was like, I don't. Yeah, it does feel scary. Oh my God.
It's scary.
Okay.
And if you're comfortable with that feeling of being in that room, you're a lunatic.
This is validating me right now so much.
Thank you.
No, it's still.
It's at the man Chinese.
Yeah.
Is the man Chinese?
Man's Chinese.
Oh, what did I say?
Is the man Chinese?
Is the man Chinese?
Yeah, yeah.
Ask me, you got gosh. Man Chinese? Man's Chinese. Oh, what did I say?
Is the man Chinese?
Is the man Chinese?
Yeah, yeah.
Ask me, got question.
By the way, the man Chinese.
Yeah, it is.
Answer, okay, it is.
So it's a big theater, right?
Yeah, that's a decent size.
My fear is that it's gonna be half full.
No, no. Shut up, Bobby.
No, because when I did...
But even if it is, that doesn't scare me.
Well, who cares?
Yeah. No, because when I did, I if it is that doesn't scare me. Well, who cares? Yeah, no because when I did I went out to the get-out premiere there
Okay, okay. All right. Anyway, well, why are you doing that? Why are you pitting this against get-out?
Both of them are directed by strong black men
That's right
So Nicholas is black his butt
Yeah, you're obsessed with his butt. I. You're obsessed with his butt.
I know.
I'm obsessed with Nicholas Goosen's butt.
He brings it up a lot.
Have you seen his butt before?
No.
Wait, wait, wait.
In what world would I see his butt?
If you see it, it's unbelievable.
It's so puffy.
He's got a nice tush.
Brazilian.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
So how long are you in Los Angeles for?
We actually leave tomorrow morning.
So dad is here, but where is he in the hotel?
He's at my house.
He didn't want to come to any of the things that we had going on except the premiere.
Oh, cool.
What else did you do today?
I had a doctor's appointment and then I got there and the doctor had to leave, so I didn't
see my doctor.
That's like his movie premieres when you get into his office.
He's like, I can't stay around for this.
I gotta get out of here.
I don't want to go through with this shit.
He had an emergency delivery.
Oh.
Someone was sliding out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And is everything okay with your belly?
I think so.
I don't know how you say it.
You know what I mean?
I don't.
It doesn't feel good.
That sounded right.
Yeah, yeah. Is it a boy? It's don't. It doesn't feel good. That sounded right.
Yeah, yeah.
Is it a boy?
It's a girl.
Why is that your guess?
Because you kind of have masculine energies.
I feel like it's, no, it's a girl.
And we, I think we said that you talked about the name, but you said you wouldn't tell Bobby.
No.
I remember that.
Yeah.
What's the name?
No, she said you wouldn't tell Bobby.
I can't say the name.
Tell me the name. No, Dave said I can't to me no specifically yeah Dave King said specifically I can't know that's what he
said the only person who knows the name is my mom and she hates it.
How about this?
Do you really hate the name seriously?
We'll bleep it out.
Oh wow.
We'll bleep it out.
Say it.
Cover your mouth and say it.
Yeah, I'm sorry she told me.
Oh really?
Oh no.
You hate it because it's a...
No, I mean...
You don't like it.
Be honest.
Yeah.
It's not my first choice.
I think it's one of those like it. Be honest. Yeah. It's not my first choice. It's not. Oh.
Well, I think it's one of those like,
Levi or something.
Oh no, I wish it was.
Oh.
Wow.
Esther, please tell us,
and we'll believe it out of promise.
If you promise to believe it out,
I will tell you guys,
and you can't tell anyone.
This is amazing.
Amazing.
But, hold on.
There's only one person in the room we can't trust.
McCone, go outside.
McCone's gotta go outside because you know he'll tell somebody he's a yapper get out there
I will nick make sure the door closes cuz he's a yapper
Yeah, yeah, by the way, hi Pete. I know your wife is pregnant. How beautiful Pete Congrats
How many weeks is she I can't believe I just kicked that guy out six months. Oh, yeah, get him let him in here
It's okay. I was just kidding. Give me the name. Give me the name. Okay, cover your mouth though. Yeah, get him. Let him in here. It's okay. I was just kidding.
Give me the name.
Give me the name.
Okay.
Cover your mouth though.
Oh, okay.
You chose for the camera so they can't see.
Because you have to believe.
Go ahead.
What is it?
You have to believe it.
Yes.
And we all have to have an honest reaction.
Yeah.
Okay?
And just know that most people don't like it.
So I'm okay.
Stop setting it up.
Just do it.
Most people hate it.
Just do it. Okay. So it's a girl. That's important. Close your eyes. Everyone close your eyes Hands up. It's important to remember. It's a girl. Got it
And the last name is very integral to the storyline here. Wait a minute. Your your last name. No King King King
Right got it. That's very important. Got it. Got it. Can we guess? No, just let her do it
Okay, the baby's name is oh wait. Hold on. Let's guess
Bobby King because the King is crown crown King crown King
crown the burger on the king
Yeah, Burger King could be named Burger. Yeah. Yeah crown Royal King. Oh
She might need to fill in this chair sometime yeah, she's better than Rudy
You want that Cole now? Oh that cool King. That's wrong. But yeah Nat Cole. Now, oh! Nat Cole King.
That's wrong, but I like that.
Nat Cole King.
Dr. Martin Luther.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's the kid's name, Dr. Martin Luther.
Yeah.
Do you guys have a guess?
What do you guess, Pete?
Come on, Pete.
What do you think?
Something King?
Mm, mm.
Rat King.
Is it Theo Vaughn?
Tiger.
Tiger King.
Tiger King. Oh, good. Good. I also want to say that Dave, he was the first one who pitched it and has since gone back
on it, but I'm like heels in the ground.
So you're all in no matter what.
Yeah.
Wow.
Okay, go ahead.
Yeah, but he pitched it for a boy.
Oh.
Oh.
So does it mass plenipant?
Hands up, eyes closed.
All right, hear it naturally. React now. Cover your mouth, cover your mouth. Okay, go right. Eyes closed. Hands up. Eyes closed.
All right.
Hear it naturally.
React now.
Cover your mouth.
Cover your mouth.
Okay, go ahead.
Yeah.
Oh.
I thought everyone's...
Look at me.
Hey, look at me.
I'm absorbing it.
What?
Yeah, you're not gonna...
It's really bad.
It's embarrassing. It's not? It's really bad.
It's embarrassing.
It's embarrassing.
I've never heard it like that.
Why would you do that to a poor kid?
We love it.
We love it.
That's a great name.
Interesting.
Very good.
My gosh.
Original.
Wait, so you don't like it?
I actually, I gotta tell you, I'm not pandering. I kinda like it. It's so cool. I like it. I actually I gotta tell you I'm not pandering. I kind of like it
It's so cool. I think it's pretty cool. I guess and it's cute
No, it's cool because I've never imagined meeting a woman. I'm not gonna say the name again
Yeah, but meeting a woman with that name with that name. I'd be like, oh
But they are you a sniper?
Yeah, yeah, the only thing is that it's a really kind of a weird name for like the child of me and
Dave.
Why?
Because...
What would you want to be called?
Anxiety?
She's just going to be very, I think, you know, Jewish and small.
So what would you want her to be named then?
What would be a better Jewish name?
It's a gender neutral name, but I think in school everybody's going to assume it's a
boy.
You know, anywhere she goes, they're going to think it's a boy.
You told me the name a while ago was going to be Schmaltz.
No.
That's what she said.
Schmaltz King.
Schmaltz King.
But by the way, and honestly at some point could open up a restaurant. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what she said. Schmaltz King. Schmaltz King.
And honestly at some point could open up a restaurant.
Schmaltz King sounds like a great spot.
I just, I've been Esther Pawitzki my whole life
and so I'm overconfident.
To be fair mom, to be fair,
you did screw up on that.
Oh, that was not my choice.
Oh, that was dad's. Oh yeah.
The guy that got banned from rivers got to pick this?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had no choice.
I picked out the middle name.
Actually, I wanted her middle name to be her first name.
What's her middle name?
Lauren.
That's beautiful.
Beautiful.
You know what?
You kind of look like a Lauren.
Yeah.
I mean, well, every Jewish girl from that poem.
Yeah.
Every Jewish girl growing up...
You're the only one I know named that Esther.
Yeah. Well, for this century, yeah. Yeah, this century. girl growing up. You're the only one I know named that aster. Yeah. Well for this century
Yeah, this century the past hundred years. No, I like that name. I'm down with it
I didn't want to know a little bit she hated it at first. Yeah, I did and then I
Envisioned when she grew up that she would go by E Lauren, which is weird or or just Lauren
Most people just do the middle name. Yeah, you could have gone by like Bessie or
Weirder or just Lauren most people just do the middle name. Yeah, you could have gone by like Bessie or
What are all my husband and Bessie Bessie right your husband's got a what was your maiden name before Pavitsky? Oh, no, I don't you know is that illegal to put out to the world?
Yeah, cuz I want to know how much better that was too cuz then you got this man who's got shitty name taste and weird last name
It was pretty bad. Yeah, you double that you could do better
I'll say it if you don't if you believe I will believe it out name taste and weird last name. It was pretty bad. Yeah. You double that.
You could do better.
I'll say it if you bleep it out.
We'll bleep it out.
We'll bleep it out.
We'll bleep it out.
You bleep it out.
Cover your mouth, mom.
Cover your mouth.
What is it?
That's not that bad.
No, that's kind of cool.
Pretty cool.
Oh.
He'll bleep it out.
Yeah, yeah.
So she could have been Lord.
That sounds actually rad.
That looks pretty cool to it.
It's very Midwest.
Yeah, it's very not Jewish.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I mean, once I see your face.
Mom, when Esther years ago said I want to do comedy, how did you feel?
Be honest.
I was shocked to be honest with you.
We are too.
We're still shocked.
We're pretty. It boggles. We are too. We're still shocked. We're pretty. Yeah, yeah.
It boggles my mind.
Boggles my mind.
We thought she'd be a dancer because she's been dancing ever since she was five.
Wow.
She actually does, I do know this, we've talked about this because my wife was a dancer as
well and Esther shares some of the same fluidity.
Fluidity?
Well, you're coordinated.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know Andrew's wife, Esther?
Yeah.
So you guys talked about dancing before?
I believe we did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And also, you guys used to be building mates, remember?
You guys lived in the same building.
Which one?
11, 11 North Dearborn?
Yeah.
You used to live on, really?
Yeah.
What floor?
17th floor.
We were above you.
No, that's...
Did you guys get it for like,
were you in on the discount?
We had, we were...
It was low income housing.
Yeah, it was.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's how we lived there because of that.
Because my mom, my mom was a single mother.
So we got, we registered for low income housing.
And that's how...
Wow.
Yeah, at 11, 11, that's so wild.
Now, where'd you go to school?
LaSalle. Oh, okay. Yeah, I went to LaSalle. Yeah, do you know that? LaSalle Language Academy, right?
Yeah. It's not too far away. Yeah. Yeah, and then Moody, I went to Moody. It's over my daughter.
And they removed me from Moody. Yeah. Yeah, they literally kicked me out. Yeah, she went the first
year of preschool and then they had all day kindergarten. That's wild. Yeah.
So you sent your kid to a Catholic,
that's like a hardcore Catholic school too.
See, I like that.
I was a working mother, so I hadn't, you know,
in those times.
Yeah.
My sister wasn't Jewish.
Oh, I really wish I met her.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Insane.
My sister wasn't Jewish.
Ha ha ha ha.
And then you met Esther's dad.
How'd you guys meet?
At work. Oh, wow. What would you work Esther's dad. How'd you guys meet? At work.
Oh, wow.
What would you work at the time?
Can you say it?
Yeah, Cook County Treasurer's Office.
Cook County, baby.
Wow.
Treasurer's Office.
Was it instant love or would it take some time?
No.
We were coworkers and, you know, I'd worked there for a couple of years and, you know,
we saw each other and then one day we went to lunch and then that was it.
Wow. So did he pursue you and you were okay with it right away?
It's not one of those old stories from your generation where it's like couldn't stay on
the guy and then he kept bugging you?
No, not at all.
Okay, good.
But you have a stalker.
Ooh, tell us.
Everybody loves a good stalker story.
Yeah, yeah.
She had like a guy called, like, who was stalking her.
That's why she, so at her job, my parents met working government
jobs, which is so cute.
And this guy like was kept coming to her to find her and he broke into the building where
you guys lived.
Wow.
Yeah.
And so then they had to move her into like the underground floor.
You lived in the garage.
No, like, like in her...
No, they moved me to the vault.
In the Cook County Treasurer's office. And then my dad also got moved to the basement because he was disobeying his boss. I knew it was gonna be. Actually, it was the first floor.
Right. Yeah. But you could tell he did something bad there. You go down there.
Yeah. And so that's kind of how they... That's such a cute story.
No, it is really cute though. I love that story.
And so that's kind of that's such a cute story. Come on.
No, it is really.
I love that story.
It's not like like these days, it's not like I was swiping
on an app, taking a shit at a Starbucks, fell in love.
I think when you meet like that too, it lasts.
Well, it has been.
Look at this.
Yeah.
I need somebody.
And what is it, 37?
Yeah.
Wow.
Because right, because Esther's 46.
Because when your mom met your stepdad, Jeff, right, it lasted and they met in similar circumstances
of where?
Well, my mom met my dad.
My mom worked for the property management company that managed a lot of those buildings.
And she showed my dad an apartment.
I think it was at, I think it was at, it was on LaSalle, but showed him
in the, yeah, because the other one, it was the same owner. I was between Dearborn and
LaSalle. Right. And I think she showed him an apartment
there and then he asked her out on a date. Wow. I think that's how that, they met through
that whole thing. It's amazing that you two from that region
of the country came to LA
and carved out a career that's a testament to many things,
but your resilience.
Subsidized housing.
Subsidized housing, but also the talent.
I think it's amazing, because I've been out there,
you know, it's harder probably,
because I grew up in San Diego,
it's a two hour drive from LA.
It's not that big of a, you know.
This was a big leap.
It's a big leap and a scary leap. your mom probably wasn't that supportive right in the beginning
No, in the beginning. Yeah, and it must have been a real risk
And you did it and now you're on a billboard and with a huge movie out that it's your movie. It's your movie
That's unbelievable dream come true
And you're about to be a mom.
I mean, it's like, what more do you want, asshole?
That's the most amazing thing.
That is, yeah.
What do you mean by that?
That you're gonna have a baby.
Everything else you've done is shit, she's saying.
Mom, did you meet her previous boyfriend?
It's like Tony Hinchcliff.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, yeah.
Tony.
You like Tony?
Red band. Red band. Did you like any of the other guys at all or no? No, they were all nice. Yeah, they're nice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They go to Tony's shows when he's in Chicago. Oh, that's cool. Did you hate
any of the guys that she dated? Was there any guys you were like, I cannot stand that guy? No.
Wow. Be like- They have low standards though for me. So like, I think they were just any,
if I had a boyfriend, they were like, this is good.
But David's an upgrade.
For sure. Oh yeah.
He's a real upgrade. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Yeah, yeah.
It's so funny that they had low standards
the way she said it.
I know. They didn't believe in me at all.
But it was nice to hear you say that honestly,
that you didn't really support the dream
when she first came out here.
No, because she was her third year of college, second semester.
Yeah.
And she, my husband picked her up at the bus station.
She was coming home for the weekend and she comes through the door crying and my husband's
like, you're not going to believe that she wants to quit school.
I mean, she only had maybe eight weeks left of her second semester and everything was
paid for.
A year, plus an additional, my senior year. Yeah, yeah, you know, another year. But we wanted to year plus an additional my senior year.
Yeah, yeah, you know another year, but we wanted to at least finish out her third year.
Of college.
Yeah.
Where'd you go to school again?
Champagne.
Oh yeah, U of I.
Wow, that's a great school too.
Did you guys think she was funny?
Hold on one second, one second.
No.
Bob, can you please? It's embarrassing. it's embarrassing it's embarrassing
The fuck up it's my friend dude. Hey good question. Yeah, good question. Did you think she was funny?
We didn't have a clue why she even wanted to go out there. Yeah, all right. Yeah, she never made you laugh
And can I tell you something? Yeah, same
I never made you laugh. And can I tell you something?
Yeah.
Same.
Yeah.
No, she is, Esther is a bright light
in the comedy scene since we met.
Yeah.
Maybe, I'd like to guess 15 years ago.
I don't know how long we've known each other.
Yeah, a long time.
A long, long time.
Both of you guys, yeah.
And what's funny is, this is gonna sound very corny,
but I'm gonna do it anyway because we're here
There's sometimes when you're young
You just know some when some of us some people have it some people are probably gonna quit some people are probably gonna get too into drugs and alcohol or just disappear and
Esther was always someone that I knew was she was just gonna do whatever she wanted to do anyway
and it was gonna work because
she was just good at being
Authentic to what she wanted to do anyway and it was gonna work because she was just good at being authentic to what she wanted to do anyway.
And she was very good at-
Whenever I explain to people, asked her,
I'm just like, can I get that over again?
I think you just gotta run with it.
I gotta run with it, yeah.
Yeah.
I go, she's an anomaly.
Yeah.
And there's just no one,
and I feel that way about myself too.
Like I think that I'm just who I am, I'm different.
Focus on her.
Okay, go back to you.
Yeah.
Esther Wright.
I forgot her name.
Lauren.
Lauren, Lauren.
So Lauren, and you, I've always got,
as soon as I saw you, I got it.
Yeah, you get it right away.
I look at you and oh yeah, that's gonna work.
You should be proud, mom.
Oh, I am.
You made something good.
Yeah.
And you shouldn't be proud of getting banned from Rivers, but you should be proud of what
you've created on the other side of it.
Yeah.
And we want everyone to please go watch Drugstore June.
If it's available after it's on theaters, it's gonna be on VOD, I imagine.
Yeah, it's already for a presale on VOD.
And I just have to say about my part in it.
Oh, lord. You were great Bobby
No, I
Thank you for being a bad friend Woo! Yeah! Woo!
Yeah!