Chubby Behemoth - Nathan Lund Is Sam Tallent
Episode Date: April 7, 2024SPONSOR: Get 50% off your 1st box of Factor, plus 20% off your next box at https://www.factormeals.com/CHUBBY50, code CHUBBY50 BONUS EPISODES: https://www.Patreon.com/chubbybehemoth This week Natha...n tells Becker about his trip to Denver, how he has only seen the bad parts of Episode 1, and gives a Wrestle-mania update. Nathan almost had to get fitted for his leathers. A certain butthole felt like a candy cane. Jake talks about his new car podcast, gives a health update, and a Walmart haul. Nathan Lund and Sam Tallent are Chubby Behemoth Mutiny Coffee: mutinyonmainstreet@gmail.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
word well what else what all have you been doing up there just hanging out seeing people
yeah so the the only reason we came up was uh megan and her mom went to uh show last night
it was nathaniel rateliff and the denver symphony tribute to leonard cohen whoa i bet that fucking
ruled it did yeah they had fun i picked them them up because there was a Nuggets game.
There was a Rockies game.
There was that show.
And then just regular weekend shit.
Plus the wind was crazy.
So it would have been a shit show for them to get an Uber.
And it would have been probably 90 bucks or whatever.
So yeah, I got pick them up they were stoked
terry was trashed that rules she kept saying how how much fun she had and after megan and i got
home i was i want i just wonder if terry had a good time um that's all i wanted to know
but it was good i was glad i was able to help him out
fuck yeah that rules i've also haven't done much symphonies like maybe the best at that
like it's either ours or philly's what do you mean oh like covering it like playing with other
people and not doing like organized long rehearsed, but doing slapdash.
We've got six weeks of small rehearsals to put this together.
I guess us and the Philly one are artist's favorite ones to do it with because it comes together better.
Everybody's organized.
Everybody knows what they're doing.
Would it have been the Denver Symphony symphony that did the looney
tunes thing and the batman thing yeah cool yeah so you're well versed but i want to see him with
more bands like megan did yeah megan said she liked being able to watch because she said she
has trouble picking out different instruments just from listening so she liked being able to like
be like what who the hell is making that sound right now and then finding them
that sounded like a good time fuck yeah where was it at the performance center downtown
yeah i think nice i think she said it was ellie caulins Opera House. I can't remember if she confirmed that or not.
That's fucking awesome.
Yeah.
So my, you know, I didn't try to get on any shows Friday or last night.
Last night I kind of wanted to be on call.
And then doing Boulder tonight.
Not tomorrow.
If, I mean, so far it's a go i think some uh areas still don't have their power back on damn but i think that's still xl making that call and having them
off because they don't want to get sued if there's another fire is the wind still crazy up there
it i haven't noticed it as much as yesterday yesterday
was like all day and then last night you could tell it got a little bit crazier for a bit before
i went to bed and today now i don't think i don't think it's really whipped up at all today what
about down there no today it seems like it's calmed all the way down i mean there'll be a
gust once in a while, but same thing.
Last night I got real crazy.
Part of my tree broke.
Where did it fall?
Just on the driveway, yeah.
No damage, but it was fucking loud wind.
I was up until like 1.32 in the morning just because every time I'd get sleepy and go lay in my bed,
it was like a howling ghoul next to my head.
So I'd fucking get back up 15 minutes later, piss, do another dab,
watch a cartoon and be like, oh, I guess I am tired.
And then I'd lay down and be like, goddamn wind.
Do you not usually fall asleep to something on TV or music?
I usually listen to a podcast or just like rain noise on my phone.
But I can't watch.
If I'm watching something, I will just stay awake like a jackass.
Yeah, if I fall asleep during something, I fucking hated it.
That's the only way.
Yeah, or I'm at the end of like a
three-day exhaustion or something but yeah yeah we've never slept or anything and i've slept
through avatar twice i fell asleep during uh star wars episode one twice once in the theater and then once at my buddy landon's house
nice both times during the pod race it's too long damn
yeah i'm out and i usually don't fall asleep in the theater because i
fucking paid money and want to watch the thing so yeah i don't think I... And I never finished it, so I didn't see the big fight with Darth Maul is at the end of one, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I haven't seen the good part of episode one.
Just a little kid racing.
The good part.
Yeah, and I haven't revisited it.
I don't want to get hurt again.
I get sleepy at the Trinidad Theater a lot,
but I think it has to do with the...
I want to blame it on the temperature they keep it in there.
Too warm?
Yeah, it's always very warm.
Weird.
It's not sweaty, but it's comfortable in your living room more.
They don't do the keep it cold so everybody pays attention thing
that every other theater I've ever been to does. Yeah, I i want a cold i don't want to sweat in the leather seat
no but it could also just be that i'm getting older and now every time i go to the theater
in a dark room i get sleepy right uh i'm trying to watch wrestle on mute. Oh, is that today? Because it was yesterday and today.
It's two nights.
It's been two nights for a while.
Yeah, I got annoyed last night, though,
because I was watching the main event where The Rock wrestled
for the first time in a decade or whatever,
and he was in a tag match with Roman Reigns,
which is his cousin or nephew,
against Cody Rhodes and Seth Rollins,
and it was boring. Seth and Cody can still go, but The Rock is old, and so I think they had to
do things slow, old school, and it was just like, yeah, you just know how crazy shit can get with
guys who are at the top of their game, and then you're watching a guy just kind of, I don't know.
It was okay.
Yeah, and you wonder how much time he actually had practicing
or doing the actual work
or if he just kind of like showed up and choreographed it
a couple of days before.
I'll bet because he's old school,
they came up with a couple of spots,
specific things they were going to do,
but then called a lot of it as they went
and that sometimes works but sometimes it's just like all right hit me in the stomach you know
punch me a couple times so it's a little bit slower and also they're in philadelphia and the
crowd seemed to not want to cheer anyone and it's like okay so what do you want? Death. They want real blood.
It's always big fans.
I don't know how many people from Philadelphia are there,
so it's not like that crowd.
But the WrestleMania crowd, they can get weird.
Sometimes I think they overthink it,
and they want to cheer somebody that WWE didn't want them to.
I don't know. It's a bunch of homers it's a bunch of like super fans and then i think they get too they think it's about them
too much and obviously every wrestler says it's about them and then it goes to their head and
they're like oh yeah it is you know same with anything the super fans can be so fucking weird
about it they can have their favorite and it for for the longest time it's been Cody was the favorite.
And so they were pissed because The Rock was almost going to take his spot
at WrestleMania.
And they shit on it so bad that they had to rethink things.
And they kind of made it right.
And so now Cody's wrestling tonight for the title.
Okay. Yeah. kind of like made it right you know and and so now cody's wrestling tonight for the title but yeah but then so it's like okay they should be happy and cheer cody and then they didn't and it's like okay then they have some weird third option anyway damn well i don't know anything
about it but i had some roads uh champagne and it was delicious. Oh, yeah? Yeah.
That Cody?
Him and his wife probably do it?
Yeah.
Steven Amell.
I don't know if you know that actor.
He's into wrestling.
He owns a Vinery.
He's Green Arrow?
Yeah.
He owns a Vinery in Walla Walla that makes really good champagne.
Or sparkling wine, I guess.
Did you have it while you were up there?
No, I order it once in a while from him when he's got new sparkling wine i guess do you have it while you were up there no i order it once in a
while from him when he's got new sparkling wine oh okay yeah i remember i i wasn't really watching
whenever he did his little it was like a couple months where he wrestled a couple times i think
cross promotion thing yeah i didn't see him wrestle but but I remember his name. They kept hiring wrestlers to play villains in Arrow.
Because it worked great to hire wrestlers to play one-off comic book villains.
It was actually a really smart move on the CW's part.
And I think he just ended up being really into the wrestling guys,
hanging out with them on set more than like actors or people he saw every day.
And then got into the wrestling world in a weird heavy way.
And then started a TV show called Heels.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah, I watched some of that.
I haven't finished it.
It was kind of not what I wanted it to be.
And it might have gotten better whatever but the
little bit i watched i was like yeah it looked cool but it i don't know it's always tough because
i imagine they want as many people to watch it as possible not just the super nerds so they have to
like be do like broad strokes or whatever and explain stuff so much drama yes there's a lot of
that and so yeah little things annoyed me and i pissed off my own ass because it's like i know
it is the way it is because of what i just said you can't just appeal to the the core wrestling audience and and be successful so i understood
it but i still didn't like it yeah and i'm sure the network looked at it as like we're getting
a show with a cw star we should lay on the drama a little thicker than usual on our showtime series
yeah and i i'll probably try and watch it eventually but what
yeah
yesterday was
funny I still am like half
scared that
Sam's just going to appear like he did yesterday
during the Patreon
that was so funny
we shouldn't have
you should have sent me the Riverside link
privately no
it did rule no I'm glad I'm kidding You should have sent me the Riverside link privately. No.
Yeah.
It did rule.
No, I'm glad.
I'm kidding.
I'm glad that he came in.
It just sucked because I thought we would be able to hear you better through the laptop,
and we couldn't. And so then when Sam came barging in all amped up on near-death experience energy, we couldn't hear him well either and i thought about grabbing
headphones but then i would have been able to hear but not pat so it was just a little little
chaotic but it was uh i'm glad that he was able to check in yeah if you want to hear about sam's near-death experience go check out the patreon yeah and uh you know we'll have to talk more with him next time we can record he's got another
few days in europe a week in europe maybe yeah and yeah uh you know he let us know he performed
in royal albert hall night. It looked crazy.
It looks really cool.
And I'm glad that he didn't die before being able to do that.
Jesus.
Yeah, that would have sucked.
It's so crazy to think about him and Tim just being gone.
It would be so fucked.
You would have had to give him a speech at the memorial at Skankfest.
I'd have to wear the fucking Dan Aykroyd leather daddy motorcycle outfit.
Look it up if you don't know.
We've talked about it a couple of times.
There's a picture of him at Belushi's.
I think it might be at the grave after the funeral service.
I don't know if he was dressed like that at the funeral
but oh no i think he was he was at the service he rode up yeah he rode up or he was in the
procession on his hog and then he fucking oh my god so yeah uh it's in uh there's there's
definitely a picture of it in the book wired and uh it is so it'll yeah i don't i want to die first because of that i want
him to wear that shit and i hope i can look down and laugh at him and clown on him with greg
geraldou and mitch hedberg because uh yeah it's such a funny looking oh it'll be there too by the time you guys get there yeah oh god get a kick out of it
fight acroid yeah well i hope so look at this dumb idea that you created uh so yeah i don't
want that i also don't i told megan i was like you know if sam dies i'd be home a lot more
she got she got excited you gotta look on the bright side i would be home a lot more. She got excited.
You got to look on the bright side.
I'd be home more because I am not going to.
No, I would have to cash in, I guess.
I'd have to try to get booked, take his dates.
Pick up some dates, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I could do some of Sam's stuff if you want.
I can call somebody a silver-haired fox, and it'll be like he's there.
I do a tribute act.
Rhyme a little.
Nathan Lund is Sam Talent.
I just totally, totally take advantage.
You wear his clothes.
You've got the double shorts and the leg sleeve on.
Yeah.
Why not?
Lifts.
I wear lifts, so I'm 6'5".
Like, get my hair cut so that it's thinning, receding like him.
Or have, like, an obvious hair cap you're wearing that just has the lines.
The fine forehead line.
I'd like that.
Damn.
I can make some money.
Maybe do that for like a year.
I'd probably do it for a year and then don't do it for a year and then do it for six months.
Keep teasing, you know, that it's the last time.
Yeah.
Do all the major festivals.
Three, four times.
Skank.
I'm at Skank Fest.
Yes, Sam.
They invite you to JFL as Sam.
Nathan Lund is Sam Talent.
JFL's dead now, isn't it?
Yeah. They like filed for bankruptcy,
so maybe they'll try to regroup,
but I doubt it.
What a shit show.
That's how Sam met Shane, was that jfl but other than that yeah it turned it it stopped being a real king maker a while back
you know it was still a cool thing to do you could still maybe get a representation there and and
connect with a bunch of people movers and shakersakers. But yeah, it wasn't as big.
I think maybe just because there were other festivals that became big.
Yeah, but in the past it followed a direct path where the industry was going.
This time it seems interesting because it kind of died
and there's not a direct successor.
Because when Vail died, it went straight to jfl
yeah yeah veil or aspen was a big deal aspen sorry yeah the aspen comedy festival used to
be when it was street fest when it was h yeah when hbo was behind it yeah they had they had
i got to do it when rooftop comedy was was the the main sponsor in probably 2010 i think sam was
there too it was 2010 maybe 2011 and it was fun but it was not like you weren't shaking hands with
people actually i think i talked to somebody in new york who either ran a club or had a little agency.
I had checks, personal checks of mine that I used for my card.
I blacked out the bank information because I think it was still my account.
But I had so many checks and I didn't need them.
And so I handed out a few of those but didn't have any any takers trying to you know have me blow them in exchange
for a bright future so what are you gonna do here i am just making my own way in my Nick Nolte shirt. Blank check out of their stack of cards later.
Yeah, I thought I'd stand out.
Instead, I was just thrown away.
I always think of Nick Nolte when I wear this shirt.
It's not the same as the one he wore, but it's got flowers on it.
So I just pictured his hair.
Also, my hair often looks like his did in that DUI arrest photo.
Something's bugging my ear.
Ugh.
I gotta shower.
I'm gross.
I reek.
How many days?
I showered yesterday.
Creech didn't know about Dr. Bronner's, which has been around for like 200 years.
Yeah.
I told her, oh yeah, there's a peppermint dr brauners
in there and she was like what's that i was like what so we got to get some because i should feel
minty fresh and uh yeah my butthole was like a candy cane
i got in there fuck yeah i haven't i haven't jacked it and we haven't boned,
so I'm a little scared that tonight when I sleep I'll have a wet dream.
You're going to make a mess.
I may try to jack it.
Nice.
In a preventive way.
I'm like the least horny I've ever been.
I don't know if it's because of the food intake or what
what do you mean because you're eating less i'm like not eating enough i'm getting like i was
saying on the patreon i'm getting weird bald spots and you're malnourished yeah so your body can't
get hard yeah or it's just not interested it's like nah fuck that
get a soup and a sandwich and then we'll talk about uh boning yeah interesting yeah last week
i was like getting hard but for like two minutes wrong reasons and then like before i could do anything with it or make a move on anyone it was gone i'd be like
oh okay very cool trick dick i like this you just make yourself known and then disappear immediately
uh anyone like you had a room full of people what are you talking about were you hanging out with you're hanging out with a lady yeah my lady friend came down to
drive me around to and from the endoscopies and then she hung out for like four days
in trinidad or were you up in the springs in trinidad okay yeah
uh well yeah so i guess we might as well let the non-Patreon people know that you had a biopsy.
You're waiting on those results.
And your doctor or someone, doctor or doctors, told you that it's not the weed disease that a lot of listeners guessed it might be.
And that me and Sam kind of alluded that we acted like it
was definitely that with no real clue but we thought that could have been part of it but it's
not so no and i thought it could have been part of it too but the general surgeon my normal doctor
and the gastro guy all think it's not cannabis right so yeah we'll have to let people know or we won't
they'll hear it keep them in suspense no don't tell them until you're gone and then sam and i
will both wear the acroid outfit at your funeral who's riding sidecar huh oh that'd be sick i would
be sidecar for sure.
Sidecar Jones.
Fuck yeah. I'd want to get in there.
Except I don't know if Sam would have any real experience with.
I guess it would be more like a car anyway, so it wouldn't matter.
You would still be kind of four-wheeling.
So I wouldn't have to be scared that he's never ridden a hog in his life.
He might be riding a hog right now.
Could be.
Him and Tim.
He could be getting ridden.
Royal Albert Hog.
Yeah.
I think.
Oh, yeah.
I saw on Tim Dillon's subreddit that he is a top.
Oh.
So, yeah.
So Sam. Sam's riding the wrinkle stick i don't wanna i didn't realize how tall tim is
because i've never met him but i just saw a picture with him and sam and i think they're i
mean he maybe he's six three six four i think he's a little shorter than sam but not by much
i thought they were like dead even or he might even be a tiny bit bigger than Sam.
I get it.
It's possible.
In the picture, I think Tim is hunched a little, bending down a little, whatever.
So, yeah, we'll have to ask Sam.
Oh, God, headache.
Cool.
Aneurysm.
We're all dead.
Creech is wearing the ac echoid out creature and emily
and andy at the at our tri service
annoying i'm sorry that sucks yeah i'll power through um it's all dudes on the Boulder show tonight. Oh, nice. So that, that was funny.
Yeah.
It's me, Derek Stroop, Sammy Enzer, AJ Finney, Nick Dean.
I think that's it.
I don't know who's hosting.
Cause I fucking have asked Brent several times via text.
Are you going to be there?
You know, uh, who else is on?
Are you going to be there?
He can't answer any any any of those questions
right away i think he told me stroop and then didn't say anybody else and still has not told
me if he's gonna be there or not so we'll see i would imagine no or else he might have said that he would be there. He's probably in Austin or LA.
You don't know, right? He travels so goddamn much.
No, I never know where he's going to be.
He was messaging me at 9.30 this morning, so he's probably either in Texas or Denver.
Okay.
If he was in Denver, I feel like he probably would have reached out about meeting up.
Maybe not. Anyway. Have you guys been doing the pod yeah yeah it's been fun
it's a good time we just talk insane shit about cars um we had a really cool guest um i don't i
know you're not that into cars but do you you know who Steve Dienan is? No.
He's like the biggest tuner of BMWs ever.
Like he is the name, like AMG is for Mercedes.
He's a tuner?
Yeah.
He's a shop that makes, they make BMWs crazy batshit fast and have forever.
Okay.
crazy batshit fast and had forever okay uh it's him or alpina are like the biggest bmw tuners but we had his head mechanic on and that was real yeah that's a yeah it's a good get neither of
you knew him did you just reach out and hope for the that he would be interested no brent knew him
he built brent's car like brent's purple car he built that right before he got hired on to be
the head mechanic over
at Deanan's new shop
and that drove a couple
times before exploding
yeah
the one part he didn't update to
the part I told him to update it to broke
immediately it's almost like I've
been around hot rods my whole life
or something
nice get him
what was it corvette in a corvette engine in a bmw body pretty much yeah he's actually got a
corvette engine in his z3 and then his e46 has a escalate engine that's just basically the iron version of a corvette engine
okay well yeah that's all very exciting what's the name of the pod if people are uh interested
broke down garage broke down garage all the shit it's available now how many episodes everywhere
i think we're at like 11 or 12.
I don't know.
A couple.
There's enough out there to listen to.
Yeah, get in there, you car freaks, if you like.
Hearing numbers and letters.
I got an E64 on my I-25.
It's a lot of me talking shit about different car manufacturers mostly and telling Brent why liking things is dumb.
Is he more sizzle over steak?
No, I wouldn't.
A little bit?
Yeah, a little bit.
And then also he's just like a first generation car guy.
He didn't grow up around, like his dad's not that into cars. His dad's not a car guy. He's like a first generation car guy. He didn't grow up around,
like his dad's not that into cars.
His dad's not that into him.
Yeah.
He's part of the problem.
He didn't have an uncle who was like wrenching with him in high school.
I mean,
he thought quick Subaru legacies were the coolest thing on the planet until we became friends.
I ruined his life.
I'm the one who made him go test drive a bmw okay you set him on that path yeah and i thought he was just gonna like learn a lesson
i didn't know he was gonna call me 40 minutes later and say he bought said bmw all right uh
oh yeah i was gonna say that reminds me of my dad, because I thought my dad knew more about cars, was like well-versed.
But then, like, you know, 15 years ago, my brother was like, yeah, he doesn't really.
Like, he just kind of likes them.
And then, like, would do dumb shit, like he put the bullet hole decals on his motorcycle.
And it was like, oh, you're a fucking, oh, yeah, you're a boomer.
And so you're bullshitting about shit you don't really know about.
Because my brother got pretty good at taking care of his truck and car and whatever.
And then, yeah, kind of maybe surpass my my dad in overall knowledge or whatever and
just kind of was yeah so that was weird because like i just never never got enough into it to
find that out myself you know i know jack shit so yeah it's funny to hear that from my my brother
when we were still talking yeah from what i've heard about your brother he's pretty capable mechanic yeah i guess i mean shit he definitely got into it
long ago and just kind of liked tinkering or whatever and that's what i thought my dad did
too was like but over a longer amount of time and no yeah no full shit. Shit changed a lot, too. There was like, after 93, when everything went to an ECU and an OBD,
once cars became run by computers, it was...
I know a lot of old-timers who just don't know shit about shit
after things became computerized, because it'd be like totally...
It's like old-timers who can write c++ language on computers they're
not gonna learn all the new shit they're gonna retire they're done the fuck that i'm not going
back to school yeah but yeah no brent's thing is more he thinks like common knowledge is good car
knowledge and that's not been true for like 40 fucking years because consumers suck.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, they want bullet hole decals on their shit.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, they want front wheel drive cars because they're safer because they're fucking morons.
Okay.
Well, yeah, me and Brent are both learning from you.
Yeah.
And have my brother on that'd be cool
no it wouldn't
I don't talk to him
oh that's right
I was just thinking about how he actually knows car shit
yeah just don't talk to him about immigration
and focus on cars
and it might be fun
it's most car guys dude
it's all the worst dads.
It's so weird to go to...
It's been weird my whole life,
but at least when I was younger,
other parents were dragging their kids.
Now I'm at the weird middle-aged
where there's no one there my age.
Ever.
LS Fest is the only car show I've ever gone to
where it was a bunch of 30 to 35
year olds they're having fun it's a bunch of like 70 year old men now that suck where was that ls
fest we went to one in vegas um and they also have one in houston and i think they have one
in louisiana but it's like a redneck party that shit shit ruled. Yeah, it was the same with that Nora Baja race.
It was not all 70-year-olds,
but definitely a lot of problematic.
We talked about it there.
Oh, yeah, we went to the big last party,
and the first thing I heard was a guy saying something awful.
Like, I can't remember what the fuck he said but it sucked
oh hey it's creech oh before i forget uh some people some people uh for the patreon uh q a
asked if if creech would ever do an episode and my answer is probably not she's not a big
public speech interviewee
performer.
I don't want to blow you and Sam out of the water
if I be in the film.
She doesn't want to crush it.
She doesn't want to make us mad
and expose us as being wannabes.
No.
So yeah, probably not.
Maybe at a live one if she came along
we could have her do an appearance
but I don't know if we'll ever sit down for an hour and chat for the benefit of people that she doesn't know.
Yeah.
So, you know, suck it.
No, I saw them calling for that and thought the same thing.
I was like, I don't think she would like that.
Yeah, I've asked her before and she was like, no, and that's fine.
So, yeah.
We're going to leave it at that.
And before I forget, if you want coffee from her, you can do that.
You can hit her up at MutinyOnMainStreet at Gmail.
They've got a few different options of whole bean or ground up shits for your coffee needs.
So hit her up if that's your thing.
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So, yeah, you're saying that you can have an option for the ingredients to come separate and you toss them into the skillet or what?
They've just actually included recipes on the recipe cards so that you have skillet directions to heat everything up instead of doing it in the microwave.
Because before it was a pain in the ass to, like, figure everything out.
Then you'd have to watch it like it was a normal meal.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, but now they got it all dialed in.
yeah but now they got it all dialed in so if yeah if you're not a complete waste of space you and can be trusted with a with a stovetop then you can use the skillet put it on top
uh i uh enjoyed several factor meals i i remember there was a pork dish that i liked a lot
uh they're all like kind of well you know, some different flavor options.
Do you have a favorite you remember?
Yeah, there was, like, a chicken with, like, a mushroom gravy thing that was really, really good.
Yeah, it's a solid option.
Yeah, if you don't want to live off of Pop-Tarts and fucking heat-em-ups,
don't want to live off of pop tarts and fucking heat them ups uh gogurt and uh raw broccoli just whatever you can forage for in the woods then yeah you're you're not gonna go wrong they've got
a bunch of different options they have a gourmet meal option where you can get premium ingredients
if you want to be a fancy fucker you can can get shit like filet mignon, shrimp, truffle butter, and asparagus.
Which, if that's fancy for you, then you need Factor.
You need it badly.
You need to catch up.
You're eating gummy bears for two out of your three meals a day, and it's not sustainable. So please step up your game with some Factor.
It's also suited to your schedule.
You can pause or reschedule your deliveries anytime.
So that's nice, too.
If you're going to be out of town, if you're going to do a prison stretch, you're going to be gone for six to eight months, then you can hit pause.
stretch you know you're gonna be gone for six to eight months then you can hit pause and uh you're gonna have a whole other round of gourmet meal options
in jail slash prison and then when you get out you hit on pause and you got filet mignon coming
to your doorstep and you know maybe we do deserve a little guy in the box
that takes care of the rest.
And you just hang him up, you know, when you're done with him
and he sleeps on the wall.
He got a little coat hanger.
You just put it on his shirt while he's wearing it
and then hang him up until you're hungry again.
This is not impossible.
I feel like AI could help us with a little guy.
And he doesn't have a soul.
He's not technically human.
He is a 3D printed person with limited speech.
But he can cook the hell out of uh some shuffled butter shrimp
with some asparagus you fancy assholes head to factor meals.com slash chubby 50 and use code
chubby 50 to get 50 off your first box plus 20 off your next box now come on that's a hell of a
deal some of the uh some of the codes we've been given are pure trash.
It's like, oh, get 50 cents off.
No, this is 50% off your first box, 20% off your next box.
So that's a nice way to see if you want to live the Factor life, you know, without the full financial commitment.
Dip a toe.
And again, that's code
chubby50 at
factormeals.com slash chubby50.
You get 50% off your first box,
20% off your next box, while your
subscription is active.
Fuck yeah.
Welcome back, Factor.
All hail the destroyer
Factor.
Get some fucking asparagus. It makes your smell but i'll tell you if you uh if you cook it long enough you get a little char on there
and some salt and pepper and some butter oh my god asparagus rules it's worth it worth it to
smell a little weird pee for it's like immediate too it's it doesn't make sense as soon as you swallow your p your next p
is gonna be fucking pretty rank but i i would rather i'd i'd say it's worth it some people
might say never again i'm a broccoli guy that's fine oh i got some duck fat spray at Ace Hardware. What? Oh, just a little taste for your veggies?
Yeah.
And I got that back in like September.
But like one of the last things I cooked with it was some asparagus and bacon.
And it was fucking killer.
Dude, so we have been doing bacon in the air fryer.
And then you've got the grease in there.
And obviously, you know we
pour a lot of it into a jar because you don't want you can't have too much in there because
then it starts to smoke pretty bad but if you have a little bit in there everything that you
make in there like we made brussels sprouts not too long ago but then you just kind of
dip you know you you turn the hand the tray back and forth a little bit get the grease
up in there it's pretty sick damn and i'm on allopurinol so gout flare-ups are in my rear
view mirror i can eat whatever i want and i'm on a statin so some of you are thinking oh yeah
you're not gonna have a gout flare-up but you're gonna have a heart attack and stroke no i'm not because i went to dr emily talent md or no do she's the dog
and so i can live forever now i'm on statin x even though wayne static is gone
i will live on thanks to statin x and uh allopurinol yeah i feel like a fucking god
i feel like factor himself does it make you feel better is it just preventative shit
uh both of them are i yeah they all appear in all i just haven't had like any little weird tingles
because like if i was having meat
now and then i could still have like a little finger pain or like a little whisper of a toe
feeling weird so yeah i just haven't had like any of that and the statin i haven't yeah haven't felt
like different because my my blood pressure my cholesterol were not uh high high they were
just like kind of high like flirting with being gross gotcha gross curious unhealthy unhealthy
ish so because i drink water you know emily said that wasn't enough to be healthy i think it is
you drink water and you don't have fucking you know ham buddig ham for every meal and uh you're better
than a lot of these i mean just imagine how bad some of these fucks eat they haven't had water
in 25 years they smoke two packs a day and they're out in the garage instead of uh whoa what just
went by some crazy motorcycle I don't fucking know.
Yeah, that sounded cool as hell.
That guy was getting laid.
Carlos and I went by Walmart yesterday, and I saw a lady and her kid, and all she had in her cart, and it was a lot of food,
was processed meats with the food label on them, the FUD,
which I've never had because why would you do that
that's a brand right is that a new brand i don't think it's a new brand i think it's about a
discount meat brand for a long time oh okay and so she had seen that two bags worth of deli meat
and maybe cheeses that were all food brand and then a bunch of hot dogs like two giant cases
of mountain dew and popcorn and that was all that lady had in her cart and she had a kid it wasn't
like this was like a stone endeavor that was her weekly shopping yeah she had just three future The future guos in training. No vegetables.
I don't even think I saw bread.
I stared at her cart for a while because we were walking behind her,
and I was like, Jesus Christ,
that makes me feel better about everything I've ever bought in public.
The only fruit, roll-ups.
The only veggies, straws.
It was nuts.
Yeah, you can get a lot of that at at the walmart or safeway in trinidad just bad decisions and then yeah you like i said uh in the ad read you've got uh
so many options and a lot of people pick wrong every time and then you think that they are out there driving next to you, haven't had water outside of a Kool-Aid delivery system.
And, yeah, just dehydrated and pissed and dumb as hell and dying.
I've never understood it.
They vote.
Because I mean, like, at a certain point, you're just not listening to your body.
Because, like, no matter how unhealthy I am or feel like being like you crave water you you shouldn't want some like fresh crisp fruit
like that's programmed into our fucking brains oh yeah yeah when my dad you know after he had
had cancer for like a few months six months he was like yeah i don't know i don't drink water
unless i'm thirsty and i was like oh god that's your body like screaming for water instead of a gentle nudge.
So that's not good.
And sure enough, cancer won.
Yeah.
My dad has had to get bitched at by the doctors for the last two years to drink water.
And he's like, I'm sure the diet Pepsi I drink is hydrating.
No.
Also, you shouldn't be drinking enough of that to get
hydrated that's a bad move right it's not a good not a good trade-off they didn't endoscopy on him
last year and the doctor was like excited to tell my dad because he's a freaky va doctor um like all of my dad's organs and linings and tissues
are dyed pepsi brown what from him drinking like a 12 to 24 pack a day for the last 35 years
that's a thing yeah pepsi brown yeah oh god just died he was like there's no pink tissue in you it's all brown
good lord that's yeah and he's not alone if if we lined up the brown bodies
yeah dude there's no way he's alone he would have a solid team yeah they'd be ready for war oh damn yeah i had uh oh shit i had i was gonna spoil
i was gonna say who won this match but i'm not gonna i don't want to spoil it for uh for the
heads um but shit what was i gonna say oh i i think of uh zach reiner at one time you know years ago
said something like yeah you know i just don't like lacroix it doesn't taste as good as coke
and i was like yeah no shit dude but like there's a trade-off there's a reason that why
coca-cola tastes so good and it is not healthy. It's not plant-based goodness.
It's fucking going to kill you.
So hopefully he's doing better.
He's got a little baby now.
He's got a little kid.
Him and Ariel had a little baby girl, I think.
So that's cool, I guess.
It is a baby girl.
I was just looking at it this morning on Facebook.
I want to hear his jokes now that he's a parent.
Because a lot of the comics who have kids,
it's just so boring.
It's just like,
I should have named him Tylan,
short for Tylenol.
That's always my go-to parent joke.
And they always say something stupid.
They say something incorrectly.
And it's like, that's not a bit.
That's just what happens with a stupid
little kid but i would imagine zach will be able to turn it into uh some warped fucked up gold
yeah he won't retread any richard link later material whoa hey easy i'm just saying that
like you're right the whole like the. My kid said a wild thing.
Like, yeah, it ran for three series on TV.
We know.
Yeah, it's been done.
So, yeah, I'm excited to see what he comes up with.
It'll be good.
Fuck yeah, he's a killer.
He's got a new album recording soon.
I can't remember if he's recorded or not.
But if you haven't listened to Boatload of Jokes,
he put that out a couple years ago.
It's great.
So check it out.
He's a killer.
Also, I meant to let Patrick plug his podcast yesterday,
but Hurricane Sam came in and was like, I almost died.
So check out Kobos.
The Kobos Patrick podcast, if you haven't already.
Kobos was going to join us, but he was hungover.
So might as well give him a little boost.
What's Pat's film podcast called i've listened to that
a couple times it's really good oh yeah that's so that's yeah that's him and jack and jack has uh
been helping him with graphics and maybe some of the music for wide world and that podcast is
called certified cinephiles yep and they make really good yeah they watch
like random cult bad movies uh and talk about them and usually do a little skit
uh based on them and yeah it's a good time they curated pretty good recently and i had a good
that was one of those podcasts i put on to listen to go to bed and then
just like went back to my living room to listen to it and smoke weed because i was too good of a
time turned into a party yeah they're both very funny together uh as are uh kobos and pat but
yeah jack and pat uh are are longtime friends and it shows So you can check them out.
And they don't do one a week.
They don't churn them out, certified cinephiles.
They kind of take their time with them.
So I think that that is a unique thing.
Not like us.
We're at the fucking content factory slaving away every week.
I'm not not really i don't want it to sound like we try very hard at all or that it's hard that it's difficult but two a week baby heck yeah this has been this has gone
quicker than i thought when when we were 20 minutes in i was was like, fuck. I hope Sam comes in here swinging.
No, I just looked at the clock kind of expecting it to still be at like 35 minutes for some reason.
Oh, no.
You know what helped was Factor.
He makes the time go by.
That's why you got to bow down.
That's right.
Yeah.
The tradeoff is worth it. Your soul for a little bit of laughter and a little guy.
Yeah, it's worth it.
Speaking of Wide World, we had the third episode wrap up our Tokyo Riffs journey.
It was funny to see exactly how hot we were in the third one you can kind of tell
a few different times that we're going through it yeah the camera picked up the sheen on us a
little bit better in a couple of the shots there because i've been surprised by how dry we all look
yeah you can't tell that we're dying but we were pretty much every if we weren't in the airbnb and we were outside dead it was very hot and humid
and there was some shade but we were moving so much yeah and yeah the third one that comes across
a little bit my buddy uh from denver came down on his way down to albuquerque and stayed the night
and we watched all three of them. And during the taste test,
he was like,
why is just like,
why is London shirtless?
And I like paused it to be like,
dude,
I cannot describe to you how the hotel was the only place where we were
comfortable,
even a little bit.
Like,
yeah,
it was hell everywhere else.
Yeah.
And,
uh,
yeah.
Short answer. who cares?
I'm comfortable with my fat body.
Big is beautiful. And it felt good.
Like, the point I was making is, like, it felt better than you can imagine in your head, to be sure.
Yeah, that was part of it.
Oh, hey.
Hi.
What's up?
Oh, my gosh.
Is this my client?
I'm doing Chubby B right now.
Me and Becker. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Hi, Becker. That's Keely. She's been in Oh my gosh. Is this my client? I'm doing Chubby B right now. Me and Becker.
Yeah.
Oh my gosh.
Hi, Becker.
That's Keely.
She's been in Trinidad.
And so we've just been hanging out with Jason.
But now the cool part of Jason and Keely is here.
Right?
But yeah, we're almost done.
Yeah, the third episode's great Jack and Pat are just
fucking crushing it
with all the edits it's insane how good
it looks
yeah
I've tried to build up
Pat as much as I could
with compliments
because I can't imagine having
to go through all that footage.
The couple times he's worked on it
in the hotel room, I get so
annoyed and over it. I don't want to hear
my own ass over and over
until you figure it
out. I'm glad that he
does that.
It really rounds it out.
The crew, when you're
there it's hard to be uh just killing it and have a vision so you just kind of accumulate footage
and then you know pat gets the puzzle pieces and starts putting it together and all of a sudden
you have a lighthouse fuck yeah i want to ask him to throw together all the i'm sure cutting room floor footage of us
cackling at caruso like especially the when we were doing the taste test when bond bonzo had to
go lie down in bed for a minute because he was laughing so hard about caruso yeah yeah i'm glad he got to shine because we had fuck yeah we had kind of maybe saved
that for something i heard pat maybe wasn't gonna use it and then decided to crank it up for three
i don't know i i think a lot of the caruso stuff only translate if you're like on the edge of a
heat stroke well and then we yeah we brought the we brought the fever dream to the people
yeah i think it came across that we were kind of that we lost it a little bit and i'm uh excited
to see what pat does with uh the next go around which is paris because he was there he said he's
very excited because it'll be a little bit easier to remember stuff.
You know, he's not just getting all of this footage and experiencing it for the first time.
He'll be able to recall some stuff.
And I think that'll help.
And, yeah, we had fun there. there you know it was the same thing where it was a week uh of walking around in heat and trying to
turn you know turn that into gold and i think it was the same similar similar thing we had fun
and i think that'll come across i'm excited for people to see that and then uh yeah after that is Eastern Colorado, a big pivot from two of the biggest cities in the world to just like our crew of five to nine dudes and Emily for a little bit.
Yeah.
Dicking around with, yeah, very little in the way of things to do, people to run into or go around.
But I think the contrast will be fun.
And again, with Pat and Jack
adding so much to the footage
and to know that Bonzo and Joe
for Colorado were filming and have that vision, that eye for interesting shots or whatever.
It'll come together nicely.
The feedback has been great, which is cool.
We're lucky that we knew these people that could help us.
Because Sam's idea was just to try to get something uh filmed so that
we could sell it and now that it's just us it's it's okay because we didn't need somebody to come
in and save us and and figure it out you know we had bonzo we had fucking bonzo We got Bonzo. The, yeah, shockingly not a complete dumbass.
Bonzo's the best.
Bonzo's maybe my favorite person I've met in my 30s.
He's getting the 30s award.
Yeah.
He rules.
Yeah, and I kid.
yeah and and i i kid you know obviously uh bonzo not and i'm not saying he's a dumb ass because of how he comes across but rather just because he is a little goof but he's also just talented
as hell like a lot of those guys you'd think they'd just be some some country kid but all of
a sudden yeah you see his photography, and it's incredible.
So we are lucky.
Andy carries that fucking camera boom all day, and that shit is insane to me,
how much time he spends just holding that right in front of his chest.
Yeah, he had me hold it for like eight minutes while he went to get a coffee, and I hated it right away.
I was like, this sucks.
It's not a fun gig what he's doing.
No, thank you.
He's smiling and having a good time the whole time.
Yeah, and that helps too, that we all are friends, because it is hard to try to shoot a bunch of stuff and communicate
and not have it get to you but we all like each other and i think that i mean that's huge as well
you don't have a bunch of fucking bickering and stuff and and people who never liked each other
having to work together and figure it out and like keep that under under
wraps you know yeah i think that is a big part of our success as well so yeah thanks for watching
fucking episode one is over a hundred thousand views like it's crazy no man i saw i would have
post about that yeah and and and uh episode three is like almost has more views than two.
So I like that people are just checking them out.
And hopefully you like all three.
But yeah, maybe I would have put a shirt on if I would have thought about how many people would watch.
No, I'm kidding.
I don't give a fuck.
He was just asking if it was like a decision you made
and i was like no dude it was hotter than fucking the sun like when we'd go in there all of us were
clothes off do i take a shower like that was every time we walked back in yeah and yeah uh
i don't always want to yeah a shirt around my neck, around my stomach.
Yeah.
So sometimes,
yeah, I don't feel like it and deal with it.
That's,
that's what I have to say.
I want you to watch,
but if,
if that's a buzzkill for you,
then watch something else.
Watch t-shirt party where they have two shirts on and they talk about how
they're still cold.
Do you have any dates coming up
that you want to plug?
Terre Haute, Indiana
April 25th.
Nice.
Should be a good time.
And then that is
that Friday, Saturday the 26th and 27th sam and i will be at
the comedy attic in bloomington indiana i haven't been to indiana before even though i lived in
illinois for uh my first 12 years didn't go uh to gary and get a gun didn't go check out the
christmas story house so yeah i'll get a little taste of uh of indiana might try to go see uh larry bird and
in french lick i don't that's where he's from i doubt he lives there now he must have moved on
i'll bet he's not but there's probably a life-size cutout or something that i could get a picture
with i think french lick is a little ways west of Terre Haute.
Oh, and I was told that I'm saying it correctly, so that's nice.
Nice.
But, yeah, that's it for the next, like, traveling show. We got Raton April 18th and Trinidad April 19th
with Billy Wayne Davis and Matt Davis.
Fuck yeah.
I was told they are both regular guests
on Behind the Bastards podcast,
which I have been meaning to check out.
So yeah, I haven't met Matt before,
but we should have a good time.
I'm doing both of those shows
for our Raton Trinidad listeners,
of which there's maybe seven
people but hey come out
yeah drive down
yeah drive down
and yeah Boulder tonight
but this won't come out in time
so sorry
you missed it yeah
possibly but yeah
let's get the hell out
of here I'm gonna go take a walk
later dude