Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend - Indecent Proposal: Czechoslovakia
Episode Date: March 21, 2024Conan chats with Janis in Miami about her work as a sex therapist, how to have more fun in the bedroom, and what Conan’s team would teach in sex therapy class. Wanna get a chance to talk to Conan? ...Submit here: TeamCoco.com/CallConan
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Hey, Janice, meet Conan and Sona.
Hello, hi.
Hi, guys.
Wait, first, Sona has to laugh.
You laugh at the start of every rowing workout I do.
Oh, OK.
All right, well, say something funny.
You're really good at what you do.
Come on, man.
Come on.
I'm not going to laugh.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to laugh.
I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh. I'm going to laugh. of every rowing workout I do. Oh, okay. All right, well, say something funny.
You're really good at what you do.
Come on, man.
Come on.
Perfect, perfect.
I've never had a better assistant.
I've never had a better assistant.
The workout's done.
You're the worst.
Okay, awesome, awesome.
There's a weird.
Hey, Dr. Janice, may I call you Dr. Janice?
Hey.
First of all, I love your leather jacket,
you look very cool.
Thank you.
And I'm curious, where are you right now?
Miami Beach.
Oh, you're in Miami, okay.
I was in Miami not too long ago,
did some podcasting there at the Sirius XM Studios
in Miami and had a very nice time there, it was lovely.
So I congratulate you on living in Miami,
that's very nice.
And- Well, it was a very worthwhile decision.
Yes, I think so.
And Dr. Janice, what kind of doctor are you?
What kind of doctor?
That's what I usually ask people when I meet them.
What kind of doctor do you think I am?
I'm a sex therapist.
Hell yeah.
Oh, wow.
Oh, she is.
No, that's great.
I try not to tell people too much, you know,
like out of plane,
cause then they'll speak to me for hours.
Right.
That's okay.
No, exactly.
It's like, you know, I think it's probably akin to
telling someone you're a dermatologist
because everyone then wants to show you,
hey, what is this on my arm?
What do you think?
And they just want, basically they want free advice.
And that's what you would get
if you are sharing an airplane seat with someone
and they find out you're a sex therapist,
suddenly they're asking you all about sex.
Yes, and I probably, I told my kids to wear hazmat suits
when they listen to this, because I said,
I'm going wherever you go, I will go with you.
Well, fortunately, Dr. Janice,
this is a very upstanding podcast. Okay. Wait a minute, I will go with you. Well, fortunately, Dr. Janice, this is a very upstanding podcast.
Okay.
Wait a minute, I was listening.
Yeah, I was listening.
I was listening.
By the way, I have to say hello to David
because I see it's David, not Matt.
But anyway, I was listening just to kind of refresh my mind
and what did I come across?
Your fantastic discussion about Santa Claus pornography.
Oh my God, that's scarred, I remember that.
I can't remember it.
And his wife, Sandra Claus,
and how he kept asking her to get onto his North Pole.
Yes.
Okay.
Yes.
Wow, well, remember when I said this is a high class podcast?
Yes.
I was talking about a different podcast.
That's-
A history podcast I listened to.
That's right.
But, okay, so you're a sex therapist.
You've been doing this for a while.
And tell me,
okay, I'm gonna try and cut to the chase here.
Most people when they come and talk to you,
what do you think the big issue is,
societally among people,
what's the big hangup that people have about sex?
Have you seen a trend?
Do you think there's a common problem
that most couples have or most people have?
Oh, we're gonna go serious, okay.
By the way, I train sex therapists.
That's my main thing.
Okay. But,
the biggest issue, the biggest problem people have
are expectations, because most people, these days,
learn about sex from pornography.
Oh.
And that is not real.
That's scripted adult entertainment.
There's a great place for it.
It's fantastic.
But that's not how sex goes.
Right.
It's not someone comes to the door with a pizza
and they say it's got extra sausage
and then music starts to play.
Well, they are.
You're talking about the plot?
I think she's talking about the actual sex that happens.
Oh, and what is, oh, okay.
Do you mean the duration?
No, because he thinks that's real, so, huh?
He thinks that's real.
Yeah, I have found, much to my horror and shock,
that most pizza delivery people just deliver the pizza.
And then you pay and they leave.
You didn't do anything weird, right?
Well, I asked them, does it have extra sausage?
And they said, you didn't even order sausage,
Mr. O'Brien, and I've gotta go.
I've got seven more Domino's deliveries to make.
And so, I'm just always confused
because that's how my expectations are not met.
But my question for you is, is it about,
what is it that porn is doing?
Is it porn, the sex act seems to happen instantly
and last for hours because there's these different montages?
It's instant.
All partners have orgasms.
There's no hair in the wrong places.
There's no people falling off the bed.
There's no stopping in the middle
because you changed your mind.
There's no, you know.
Do people ever, I mean, my thing is,
I stop in the middle sometimes
because I forget what I'm doing.
Oh no.
It's not changed my mind.
I literally blank out.
And I think I'm at the bank. Oh no. That's not changed my mind. Okay. I literally blank out. And I think I'm at the bank.
Oh no.
That's not okay.
Well no, it's a problem I have.
This is peculiar to me.
Uh huh, okay, all right.
And sometimes I'm at the bank and I think,
well anyway, that's a whole other thing.
No!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
God, we have to pay so many people off.
No.
So.
Oh no.
What's been in the paper, Christ.
Oh God.
So anyway, Dr. Janice, so yes, the expectations are,
expectations are all off the charts
because people are watching porn
and they think that's real.
And I would guess that this is mostly a problem
for young people, that young people,
long before they've had sex for the first time,
they've watched stuff online
and they think they have to be an athlete,
that sex is this instant athletic thing that lasts forever
and involves all these contortions
and it's intimidating to them, right?
Well, not just for young people,
people who think that they won't be able to satisfy someone
who they think are,
you know, there is porn with older people too,
but there's, it's just, everyone has a notion
who watches a lot of porn that, you know, first of all,
a lot of times they're disappointed with their partner.
They tell, you know, people, a lot of people
don't look great with their clothes off.
So especially if you've been in a relationship for a while
and your partner's body has changed,
there's a whole mindset that has to go into how
do you keep the romance going when you both don't
look like you're 24 anymore.
And that takes a little work, especially
if you want to stay with that one partner
and not bring other partners into the relationship,
into your sex play.
Hello.
So, it's all-
Yeah, now let's talk about that.
Let's talk about bringing other people in.
Oh, what?
Okay.
Okay.
Well, no, listen, Dr. Janice brought it up,
so I'm allowed to follow that line of questioning.
All right.
I think the court, does the court allow it?
The court allows it, thank you.
Okay.
Um, so Dr. Janice,
Yes, sir.
bringing someone else into the equation,
that's a mind blower to me.
I've, you know, never thought about that.
I would never do that.
It goes against everything in my personal belief system.
But man, is it an intriguing concept
because I don't understand how someone brings that up
in the first place.
How does someone say,
Hey, I want you to meet a pal of mine, his name's Oscar.
You know, like, how do they, how do they,
how does that come up?
How do couples get to that point?
You know, it really, it really needs to be a conversation
and not, hey, look who's with me,
can't leave right now.
You know, I want to say,
the times I've tried it, I've just shown up with someone.
Oh no!
Yeah, I was like, my car broke down on the 405,
right near Sepulveda, and look who I met!
But does the person you bring know what they're coming?
No idea, no idea, they're new in America.
Oh no!
Yeah, yeah.
Welcome to America!
They're from Portugal, they're from Portugal,
they thought I was bringing them to a hotel.
It's all, look, I'm not always above board about it,
but do you work at all with people that are into bondage,
sadomasochism, all that kind of stuff?
Well, I train therapists to work with people who do that.
But the thing is, I want to tell you, BDSM people,
this whole bondage dominance issue with whips and chains
and a variety of different kink things
and on and on and on, they talk about it.
They negotiate before they get into sex play.
They say, what do you like?
What's your safe word?
Where can I touch you?
Where can't I touch you?
They have conversations.
Whereas the average individual who doesn't I touch you? They have conversations. Whereas
the average individual who doesn't do that doesn't have a conversation. So you're nervous
the entire time. I don't want them touching me here, but I don't know them that well.
I don't want to tell them this. There's so much that goes in that could be cleared up
if you talked about it. And that's one thing we could learn from the BDSM community
is to talk about it before it happens.
You love talking about that kind of stuff.
I was gonna say, seriously,
I come from a culture where none of this is discussed.
You don't talk about anything.
You just get through life and get to the grave
as fast as you can.
Oh, no.
And get to rotten.
Get to rotten.
Get to moldering.
Are there special, when you're talking to someone or instructing someone
on how to teach somebody,
are there certain tools that you use?
Or did you ever use any kind of-
Puppets.
Puppets, props, are there things like that that help?
Sure, well people, first of all, I'm not against porn. I think couples who want to
watch porn together and have a lot of fun and make that part of the activity could have
a blast as long as they know that that's entertainment that they're enjoying together. They can act
it out together. So there's a use for it. Actually, there was a very funny,
one of my favorite corn things that I watched with my husband who will be mortified that
I'm saying this, but it was this corn from Czechoslovakia. So they weren't even speaking
English and had very bad subtitles. Who cares about that? But it was a guy and he was telling
his girlfriend that they needed a crock pot. And apparently this guy in an apartment
would trade his used crock pot
if he could sleep with his girlfriend.
So she goes, oh, okay.
And so they go up to the apartment
and meanwhile that guy starts stripping his girlfriend
and he's sitting there next to the bed.
Wait a minute.
Holding the crockpot and folding it.
Wait a minute, this is the plot
of that Robert Redford Demi Moore movie.
In Decent Proposal.
In Decent Proposal, and that was a million dollars.
And the Czech, the Czechoslovakian equivalent
is a crockpot?
Yes, a crockpot.
So Woody Harrelson would be in the corner is a crockpot? Yes, a crockpot. So Woody Harrelson would be in the corner
hugging a crockpot while a Czech guy
is doing it with Demi Moore.
In Decent Proposal, Czechoslovakia.
You know, it's funny,
because I'm producing a movie about a sex therapy topic,
a very unique type of sex therapy.
I would love to have the budget
of the Crock-Pot.
I'm telling you, that would be amazing.
Right.
If I could do it for $14.93.
I have, you know what?
We need to check out Czech porn.
We have to, you know, and specifically the subset
of it, Czech Crock-Pot porn.
I know, I'm down with that.
There may be a lot, I don't know.
There may, it may be a good thing actually.
You know, my guess is it's not always a crock pot.
Sometimes it's a toaster,
sometimes it's a jar of goulash.
I don't know. Maybe.
The mind boggles.
The mind boggles.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. You said that sometimes props are used. Have you used puppets, diagrams?
Well, yeah, all of the above. I mean, there's a lot of people, a lot of females, you know,
in my world, we call them, you know, vulva and vagina possessors, owners, who don't know
what their body looks like from a waist down because they never looked.
So we help them get to know who they are by looking at pictures, by looking at diagrams,
and yeah, toys, vibrators, lots of things because the bedroom should be fun.
And a lot of times it turns into a real tense place where there's a lot of emotions and
conflict.
Insecurities.
Insecurities.
False accusations.
Oh.
You got it.
Oh yeah.
Oh no, am I saying too much?
No one's forcing you to even say anything.
Listen.
Are you chiming in?
We brought a puppet into our bedroom.
It was a ventriloquist dump.
Oh no.
And it got out of control fast.
What did you do with it?
His name was Mr. Chuckles.
Oh no, oh no.
He was out of control.
He was a freak.
Who was controlling Mr. Chuckles?
You know, I thought I was,
and then Mr. Chuckles just took over.
And then it ended up,
I was out of the pool house by myself. Oh. Yeah, I lived there for three months. Mr. Chuckles just took over. And then it ended up, I was out at the pool house by myself.
Oh.
Yeah, I lived there for three months.
Mr. Chuckles just took over.
Because Mr. Chuckles brought a crackpot.
Yeah.
Your kids started calling him dad.
Yeah, exactly.
My little Mr. Chuckles is great.
Mr. Chuckles just drove me to my college interview. Listen, it happens.
We have to also counsel people what to do,
what a puppet takes over their sex life.
We have to help them with that adjustment.
Mr. Chuckles took me to Brandeis.
Exactly, that transition.
Listen, we gotta, we gotta, this is out of control.
Oh my God.
Now, is it, someone, my producer said
that sometimes you use a gingerbread man and I have to just cut to the chase
and I demand to know how do you use a gingerbread man?
I demand to know.
You demand to know, no.
Demand to know.
Because it's all about communication.
If you have people who can't communicate
what their needs and wants are,
what you can have them do is take the outline
of a gingerbread person, you know, remember those.
And one partner has a sheet, the other one has a sheet, and they each color it in.
Wherever they color green, their partner can touch them without asking.
Go for it.
Where they color yellow, please ask.
I might say yes, I might say no.
And red is absolutely don't touch me.
And that way, if you know that day, for example, you absolutely don't want your feet touched.
They're very sensitive.
You're ticklish.
That distracts you.
You don't have to sit there and kind of tense up, oh my gosh, this person's going to touch
my feet.
Don't touch my feet.
You can relax because it's all agreed upon with the picture.
Right, then it turns out your lover is colorblind.
Oh no.
Oh no.
Then you have another issue.
Then you have another issue.
So it's not a gingerbread cookie,
it's the outline of a gingerbread man.
So you're upset about it not being a cookie.
I just was hoping it would be a cookie.
Could be a cookie.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
But it could be a cookie, they could do the colors
and then they could eat the cookie.
Yeah, and the frosting could be different colors.
And so this is, you know, oh, you know, oh, look.
You can't eat a cookie.
Yeah.
Definitely could do that without a doubt.
And it's all for where you're touching.
Is there a different color for probing,
various probing areas?
What?
Well, that's touching.
If you don't want them to go inside,
then you can like put a note, you know, read inside.
I just put Post-its on my body.
Put Post-its?
Yeah, I have a Post-it.
Post-its are, by the way, Post-its are great.
Why use a cookie or anything when you can just
put messages on your actual body?
Do not enter.
That's sexy.
Yeah, do not enter.
No touching.
That's why they were created.
It's all over your body.
Please, stay off the pews. No! I have a little sign down there. It's all over your body. Please stay off the pubes.
Oh!
I have a little sign down there.
It's like a stay off the grass,
but I may have gone too far.
Curb your pet.
Yeah.
I know.
Clean up after your pet.
A little squatting dog with a Ghostbusters thing over it
is in my armpit.
Dr. Jenis, I think nothing's sexier
than good laughs and comedy.
That's why the whole thing, you've got the cookie,
you've got the porn, if you can make fun of it
and enjoy it together.
That's dressing up is fun, role play is fun.
The other thing too is to understand the expectations.
In general, penis owners, men tend to function differently
in the course of the sexual process than women do.
Men are very much focused on getting the touchdown,
which would be the orgasm.
So they kind of climb, plateau, have the orgasm
and then the cigarette,
you know, like that. And we used to believe that women were like that too, but we now
understand that women enter into it in more of a circle. They enter the circle. They could,
for example, enter sexual activity without being turned on, but because they want to cuddle or because they want to make comfort their partner
and give that person the gift of having sexual expression.
But what happens with women is a lot of times
once they get involved, they do get turned on.
Whereas a guy gets turned on and goes,
a woman might not be turned on and start to get turned on,
or she may get distracted. Kind of a woman has what we call breaks and accelerators.
You might be in the middle of sex and all of a sudden you remember you forgot to pack
lunches for the kids tomorrow and all of a sudden you lose interest. I mean, it's a real
different thing for the typical female.
But
That's interesting. Yeah. men are about, you know,
what is it Larry the Cable Guy says?
Get her done.
You know, it's like that.
It's that we're very focused on,
we're gonna do this and it's gonna happen.
And then, you know, there's gonna be an orgasm.
And, you know, it's a very intense 40 seconds
and from start to finish.
But here's the thing, guys judge,
if they have female partners,
they judge them in the same way.
So if the woman does an orgasm,
the man tends to feel that it was a failed activity.
So that's where you get the women lying about orgasm
going back to, you know, very self.
Well, I have to say, during my single years,
many times it would end
with the woman saying, that was a failed activity.
No. They would just say that.
That was a failed activity?
I heard that phrase many times.
That was a failed activity.
Oh. Like a robot?
Like a buzzard, like a game show.
Well, they sounded kind of like Trump.
That was a failed activity.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I jest, of course, just of course.
A woman could have a good time even if she doesn't orgasm.
She might have really enjoyed being together,
but really enjoyed the conversation,
the laughing, the cuddling, the attention.
And said, I had a good time, I didn't orgasm,
but I wouldn't mind doing this again.
So yeah, it's been-
I wouldn't mind doing this again. Scalowing it's been- I wouldn't mind doing this again. It's glowing reveal.
You know what, I have to tell you,
I've been married 42 years.
There's a lot of I wouldn't mind doing this again.
So yeah.
That's very nice though.
I think you're-
It's refreshing to talk to you.
You know, people have so many,
no, people, myself included, you know, we,
there's so much, people get so hung up on it.
And yeah, it's very nice.
Very nice to talk to someone who just says,
hey, we're human, this is what's happening.
You know, I like it.
It's good.
Thank you, we're human and this is what's happening.
I know, I'm proud of you.
I am, I'm proud of you.
Every time you hear, you know,
you will hear words like vagina, vulva,
you know, uterus or like fallopian tube. I think two of those. Every time you hear words like vagina, vulva, uterus,
or fallopian tube.
I think two of those things are Italian cards.
God, you just, sometimes you're like,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
you don't wanna hear it.
No, no, no, well, you don't want it,
but also, I don't think women want guys
going around throwing those terms about.
There's no, they're clinical terms,
there's nothing wrong with it.
You just get very, ugh.
No, no, no, no.
Let's ask you.
You are married to Tachycocesium.
Okay, sorry, same.
Well, kind of is.
But anyway.
It's not just because you're saying it.
Anyway.
Okay.
Whatever.
You've been married.
Yeah.
Both very attractive young couple.
Maybe you have things that you'd like to talk about
right now with Dr. Janice.
I mean, it's more time management issues.
Because she has twins.
Yeah.
And I'll tell you,
Oh, my daughter has twins.
I love these kids.
I'm their godfather, but they're monsters.
They're absolute monsters.
Okay, all right.
They're marauding.
They're great, they're toddlers.
No, no, I'm saying that with great affection.
Oh, okay.
They're monsters. They're always in the background when no, I'm saying that with great affection. Oh, okay, they're monsters.
They're always in the background
when I'm zooming with Sona destroying things with hammers.
I don't know why you give them hammers.
No, they're hilarious, I love your kids,
but yeah, I would think time management would be the problem.
It is.
How would you ever get-
No, but Sona, so Sona, that's another misconception
is people think that sex has to be spontaneous
because that's what they see in these wonderful
porn movies and that's what they believe is the ideal.
And the really the best sex is planned.
You know when the kids are going to be asleep
or they're sleeping over somewhere else
or you and your husband go and take the night out at a hotel.
Yes.
When you plan it's gonna be like D-Day.
You've got to have a plan.
Oh, come on.
No, you have to have the English and the Americans
and the French involved, and you all have to take the beach.
You know?
And look, there's gonna be loss of life.
Especially in the first couple of waves,
but you've gotta take the ground,
you've gotta hold the ground,
you've gotta get into hetero country,
you've gotta make sure that eventually you get down into the maiden countryside
of France, you know, before the,
and you've got to make sure that you do it
before the Luftwaffe can use air superiority.
Oh no.
But yes, this is exactly,
this is exactly what I'm always yelling at my wife.
It's like D-Day.
Yeah, yeah, that's some sexy talk.
Yep.
That is good sexy stuff.
She cries every day for two hours. Yeah, I don that's some sexy talk. Yep. That is good, sexy stuff. She cries every day for two hours.
Yeah, I don't blame her.
Dr. Janice, do you have a question for me?
Is there a way I can help you?
I do have a question.
I have a question for everybody.
I'm gonna include David, who is a guest today.
Okay, I'm teaching actually tomorrow
to a group of 40 therapists
who are learning to be sex therapists.
If I invited you, Sona, and we'll throw in Matt,
who's not here, and David, to come to class tomorrow
to speak to my sex therapy students,
what would you teach them?
Nice, I love this.
And I love that I don't have to get involved.
You guys, go ahead, Sona, what would you say?
I mean, I know this and I love that I don't have to get involved. You guys go ahead, Sona what would you say? I mean, I know we're not...
And Sona, let me just tell you, Dr. Jess,
before she was married, Sona was quite the adventurous.
Oh boy, oh boy!
Well anyway. You, l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l Adam is shocked. I'm sorry, I lived through it. I lived through it.
I had to go looking for you in most cities in America.
I know what you're saying about porn and stuff,
but you're pro-porn.
There is a porn video I found.
I've talked about it on this before.
It's a fisting video.
And so there's all these like fun things.
So I would, if I was a guest lecturer,
I would come in and I would talk about like, you know, padlocking and you know, the fisting things,
even though I'm not an expert on those, I'm definitely not.
But also, you know, like those acts that people do,
like the, you know, the angry pirate
and the Cleveland steamers and stuff,
like I would love to be a guest lecturer on those,
even though I'm not well versed in them.
And I apologize for calling her an adventurist in any way.
You just rattled off Cleveland steamer, Popeye's revenge.
Popeye's revenge.
Superman's secret cave. Come on.
How do you even know all this shit?
I don't know, because you go on Urban Dictionary
and you go, I'm really, really nervous.
I know, you're like buttoned up because you're Catholic,
but I'm from immigrant parents.
This is very intense for me to talk about.
So anyway, I would like to do an urban dictionary deep dive
if I was your guest lecture.
David, your turn.
I would absolutely like to.
David Hopping, take it away.
Terrific.
What was that music video we watched?
Oh, I forgot the name of it.
I feel like that would be a fun one to show everyone.
It would be. I wish we could figure it out.
It was like number three
Yeah.
on like Vulture's top 10 music videos of the year.
From like, six, seven years ago.
But it's like a really nice song in the background.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Why don't you look it up?
Do you have your phone?
Oh man.
Just look it up.
By the way, Conan, you're talking
about a restrictive background.
I happen to be an Orthodox Jewish woman. Throw that one in. And so, well, I think talking about a restrictive background. I happen to be an Orthodox Jewish woman.
Throw that one in.
And so, well, I think there's a,
there is a lot of similarities.
I talked to this-
House of air?
House of air?
Is that house of air?
We'll view it.
Tony, you can come.
You can come on my podcast.
Intimate conversations with Dr. Janet.
I have, no, I believe there are many similarities
between the Orthodox Jewish community and very strict
and porn and Irish Catholicism. Oh, without a doubt. Yeah. I don't know why you went there.
I was trying to make a nice interesting cultural. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Sona, when I imply that you
knew you were an adventurous or had some adventures that was totally out of line. And then you went into naming your favorite
fisting videos, Captain McNulty's Skylark.
I mean, I can't, I've never,
I've never done any of those things.
I can say that.
Like I've, you know.
No, when I said adventurous, I meant,
you read widely, like a scholar.
Okay, all right.
But you were quite chased in your activities. Oh boy. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, scholar. Okay, all right. But you were quite chaste in your activities.
Oh boy.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Anyway, that guy.
I'm trying to anyway,
define the video.
It's House of Air by Brendan MacLean.
Yes, that's.
And it's something you're recommending?
House of Air by Brendan MacLean.
Well, listen, you have some great fodder
for your talk tomorrow with your therapist.
Thank you.
Do you wanna add anything?
Well, it's not the topic, but that's okay.
Yeah.
What do you wanna add? What do you guys's not the topic, but that's okay. Who me? Yeah. Yeah, what do you guys wanna teach?
Yeah.
What would you teach?
Well, I was so happy that I wasn't included.
I know, that's why I'm putting you on the spot right now.
You're so excited to not have to say anything?
I think I would sort of talk about how erotic it can be
just to keep your clothes on.
It can be, I wanna tell you something.
And be in separate rooms. Each reading a say something. Each reading a different book.
I think that is the height of eroticism,
and I think people have taken
this whole nudity thing too far.
Nudity just leads to trouble, I say.
No nudity.
That's my mantra.
And I can't wait to speak.
That actually, keeping your clothes on
could be incredibly sensuous.
I'm clothed right now,
and I'm in a high state
of erotic fervor.
So, um.
Well, okay.
Oh no.
Nice to know.
Just because I am.
No, trust me, nothing's happening.
I'm just saying I'm, my mind.
And we're not even gonna ask David
what that brings to mind.
Good Lord.
Janice. Good Lord. No, no, no, no, no.
What's way out there, listen to this story.
One of my mentors, sex therapist, she was a pastor's wife and became a surrogate partner.
Do you know what that is?
A pastor's wife and became a surrogate partner.
Okay, go ahead.
She's someone who is not-
Yeah, a surrogate partner.
The sex therapist does the talk therapy,
but when you have someone who is like a 40-year-old virgin,
terrified to even be near someone, never kissed,
someone on the spectrum, someone who's had a lot of trauma,
they can't just go out and use your advice and go date.
They're terrified.
So what you do is you get a surrogate partner
and that's someone who will practice with them.
Oh, and actually have-
And she became the person to-
They'll have-
So now, so to her face is like-
No, I didn't know.
But they're-
The eyeballs, you know the cartoon eyeballs?
I have a question, is that,
so they'll have sex with this person?
They will have sex?
If that's, it's supervised,
the whole process is under the supervision of the therapist.
Therapist meets with the client before and after each session, only a few sessions, and
will direct what happens next, where do they move to next in their next session.
And it might include intercourse.
Yeah, but if it includes intercourse, is it legal?
Well, first of all, it's legal.
Actually, there's a, there, I have a quote.
That's a good question.
That is a good question.
I am curious.
It's considered because it's with consenting adults,
and it's for the purpose of a therapeutic nature.
Israel is one country that actually pays for the therapy.
Oh my God.
Someone who's been injured, lost a limb, has turned into themselves, can't connect with
other people anymore.
Their self-esteem is in the basement.
And you can get them with a surrogate partner who can kind of bring them back out, learn
how to use their body again.
Wow.
Or even if someone's changing their genders and they don't really understand their body
and they're not ready to go out and date because they don't really know what to do, you can
work with-
That's fascinating.
It's a practice partner.
So that's what I'm making a movie about it.
Oh, that's fascinating.
When's this movie going to come out?
When can we see it?
We're tweaking the screenplay.
We're almost done.
And then I have to raise money from you guys.
Okay.
I'll take care of that.
Don't worry about that.
And also, if I contribute financially,
I wanna walk on.
You know what?
You can be on.
Hey, what the heck?
But I'd also like some prosthetics.
Anyway, we'll talk about that later.
Dr. Janice, we should run, but you've been an absolute joy
and you're out there and you're helping people
and I think you're doing great work.
And so thank you for sharing your knowledge.
You do great work too.
I appreciate everything you do.
I recommend your show always because it's just the best. It's so fun. Whenever,
no, even if I have to watch, listen to when I work out, I row every day, you know, in indoor rowing,
stationary rowing, and I want to listen to the political stuff, but I'll first listen to the
opening of one of your shows. Oh, thank you. Great. Like, who cares about your guests? Exactly.
I really like to hear you guys.
Thank you.
And you guys schmooze, because you guys are just insane, delightful.
Yes.
And then I go to the serious depressing stuff.
You're doing an incredible service.
Well, thank you so much, Dr. Janice.
That means a lot coming from you.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
We'll meet again, I'm sure.
I hope so.
Take care.
Bye-bye.
Okay. Bye-bye. Thanks, care. Bye-bye. Okay.
Bye-bye.
Thanks, guys.
Bye-bye.
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