Two In The Think Tank - 446 - Weird US Presidential Incidents (with Nick Mason)
Episode Date: May 8, 2024This week we are joined by our great mate Nick Mason, to talk about weird and whacky incidents that have befallen US Presidents. Including The Jimmy Carter Rabbit Incident, The George H.W. Bush Vomiti...ng Incident, Bill Clinton's Hair-gate, and The George W. Bush Shoeing Incident.This is a comedy/history podcast, the report begins at approximately 07:07 (though as always, we go off on tangents throughout the report).Support the show and get rewards like bonus episodes: patreon.com/DoGoOnPodSupport the show on Apple podcasts and get bonus episodes in the app: http://apple.co/dogoon Live show tickets: https://dogoonpod.com/live-shows/ Watch Do Go On The Quiz Show: https://youtu.be/GgzcPMx1EdM?si=ir7iubozIzlzvWfKListen to Nick Mason on The Weekly Planet podcast: https://play.acast.com/s/theweeklyplanet Submit a topic idea directly to the hat: dogoonpod.com/suggest-a-topic/Check out our other podcasts:Book Cheat: https://play.acast.com/s/book-cheatPrime Mates: https://play.acast.com/s/prime-mates/Listen Now: https://play.acast.com/s/listen-now/Who Knew It with Matt Stewart: https://play.acast.com/s/who-knew-it-with-matt-stewart/ Our awesome theme song by Evan Munro-Smith and logo by Peader ThomasDo Go On acknowledges the traditional owners of the land we record on, the Wurundjeri people, in the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders, past and present. REFERENCES AND FURTHER READING:http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2010/11/21/jimmy-carter-explains-rabbit-attack/ https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/george-bush-shoe-throw-oral-history-al-zaidi.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waitangi_dildo_incident# https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/bill-clinton-hairgate/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey everybody, Matt, Jess and Dave here.
Sorry Jess, just butting in quickly to let the listeners know that I'm going to be in Sydney
this week coming up the 8th to the 12th of May and you can get tickets now via
MattShillComedy.com. Then going straight to Brisbane on the 16th to the 19th.
So tickets for my show Dryer Dryer in Sydney in Melbourne.
Sorry Matt, I'll just cut you off there. I just need to tell everyone that our quiz show,
our web series is out right now. Do go on the quiz show. You can see it on Stupid Old Channel for free on YouTube.
Type in, do go on the quiz show and you can see three episodes right now covering topics
like Google, Queen Victoria, the Olympics, and we've got five more episodes coming up.
So like and subscribe, whatever that means.
They are big topics too. And I said Sydney and Melbourne, I meant Sydney and Brisbane.
Anyway, let's get on with the show.
I'm still here too.
Oh, hey Jess.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Oh my gosh.
Hello.
Thank you so much.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Do Go One.
My name is Dave Warnocky. How are we feeling out there?
Fantastic. Thank you so much for coming out tonight.
Now we've got not one, not two, but three extra people to welcome to the stage.
Could you please put those hands together and welcome Jess Perkins, Matt Stewart and Nick Mason is here.
Oh my gosh. Look at them.
Oh my gosh. Woo!
Matt was walking out first and then you said my name
and he panicked.
And made me go first.
I don't want everyone to think I'm Jess.
I'm just kidding.
Some people haven't seen us before.
That was the first.
Has anyone heard but not seen us before?
I've sat already.
Oh, thank God.
Wasn't that big of a deal?
Thank you.
We're in a beard sandwich.
Doesn't that sound...
I'm not enough.
Yeah, that sounds disgusting.
Kind of like that place you eat at.
What does it got the bearded bagel?
Matt's referring to the bearded Jaffel.
Okay.
And, uh, we've got a little secret about the bearded Jaffel.
We'll keep that between the two of us.
I'm so sorry.
Sometimes we have to do something for us.
Great.
Nick Mason.
So good to have you the fourth Beatle back on the program.
How you feeling?
It's wonderful to be here.
Just one more canonical episode.
You guys have done like eight episodes in eight years.
Can I just jump in there?
The fourth Beatle is Ringo.
That's the fifth Beatle Mace.
I thought the joke that he anyway, anyway, great. I panicked. I thought the joke that he... Anyway, anyway, great.
I panicked. I think the joke has probably changed.
Yeah.
We're two weeks.
But I believe at one point the joke was that...
So within eight years, that's our only joke.
Someone fact-checked us on Twitter at one point saying,
oh, when did Mace go from fourth beater to fifth beater?
And I said, fuck you.
Thank you.
In my head, I just typed, I don't know.
Yeah, just know if you tweeted us and you get a reply, it's like, ha ha, good one.
It's Matt.
And he is actually saying, fuck you.
And I've screen shot it.
We have received a screenshot.
And said, fuck them.
And they say, yeah, fuck them.
Yeah.
And then they go and then they comment.
Good on you.
We retweeted or something.
I guess good stuff.
We're very nice.
But in our head, fuck you.
Very toxic internally, but externally.
Externally, we're very delightful.
Yeah, little sunflowers.
Yeah. It's little sunflowers.
Yeah.
But on the inside.
But I don't know if I can keep it in much longer.
No.
The real me is bursting to come out.
Yeah.
Not today.
Not today?
No, not today.
Yesterday.
Nicholas, no.
No, do it today.
Yesterday?
That's confusing.
Anyway, Jess. Jess, how does this show work? Jess today? That's confusing.
Anyway, Jess, Jess, how does this show work? What are we doing here tonight?
Well, we always have a weird energy.
Tick, tick.
As we've proven, how this show works is usually,
one of the three of us goes away, we research a topic,
we bring it back to the other two who never interrupt
or go on dogshit rs or anything like that.
Give us a little cheer if you have heard Do Go On before.
That's always a relief.
And no judgment, safe space.
Who's never heard Do Go On before?
Few people?
Welcome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, let's get him.
Yeah.
I'm so scared right now!
But welcome!
I've emerged from under my mushroom to come and visit the big city for the first time, yeah!
Ha ha ha ha ha! Got him!
I've just thought, is it the huge man here that you're making fun of?
Oh my god!
No!
The much smaller man in his left. Oh my God. No.
The much smaller man in his left.
And I'm also going to leave.
Out the back.
And David, it is your turn to bore us. I mean, do a report.
Jesus Christ.
Not today.
Sorry.
Dave, it's your turn to enthrall us
with some knowledge and fun.
Yes, prepare to be enthralled.
We always start with a question to get us on a topic.
Here is the question.
We're sitting very close to each other.
I know, it's very, I've never felt closer to you.
Like physically?
Physically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Emotionally, oh my God.
The chasm has never been wider.
I know, it's ridiculous.
Who are you?
If there are any couples counsellors in the audience,
please leave a card at the end of the show.
We need help.
Question?
Okay.
What job has been held by 45 different men?
My lover.
Nice, nice, nice. That's good. My lover. Nice, nice, nice.
That's good.
Hell yeah.
Jess, they're going with a comically low number.
Good one, good one, good one.
But this might apply to your love as well.
Four of whom have won the Nobel Peace Prize.
Yes.
Well done.
And is commonly referred to as the most powerful.
US president?
It is the president of the United States of America now.
That's so funny that they've won the peace thing.
Didn't Hitler want it as well, did he?
No.
Am I right in saying Hitler won the peace prize?
I think he has not won the peace prize.
What are you talking about?
I think he's comically someone, as they later said, I was only joking,
nominated him, I believe, or said we should.
That's funny. That's funny.
That's a good bit.
But he has been time person of the year.
And he was People magazine's world sexiest man.
Police once. Yeah, that's a fact.
That's a fact.
Hey, Dave, that like it sounds like you're saying a lot that he won
time person of the year, but we all did that year. Remember?
Oh, yeah.
One year it was a mirror.
And he died before that. So we're tied with Hitler.
Yeah. So that's cool, I think.
Such shit, Hitler.
That's right.
Another time it was the computer.
Oh.
The person of the year.
That was like when the horse won sportswomen.
Yeah.
Can I remember what's the name of that horse?
Maccabi Diva.
Maccabi Diva.
Maccabi Diva.
What a beauty.
No, it was Black Caviar.
Was it?
Oh, was it?
Oh, they probably all look the same to you, Jess.
Horses.
Yeah.
In a lot of, in most, yeah.
Now, the President, the President of the United States of America,
they might be the most powerful person in the world, but they are, of course, very public figures,
and sometimes unexpected incidents and bizarre controversies haunt their time in the Oval Office.
And I'm going to tell you about some of them today.
Hell yeah.
This is weird US presidential incidents.
You were right to applaud.
Oh man. Our audience...
The crowd is going wild for edutainment right now. This is so good.
Our audience are the biggest pack of dorks.
I love it so much.
We love you.
We love you all.
Woo!
Let's learn!
Hey Jess, can I just clarify?
When you said they're all a pack of dorks,
are you talking to that huge man there?
He doesn't scare me.
I could leg press him.
In a fight.
I would just need him to cooperate.
While I set up the apparatus.
Get on top of me.
No, not like that.
Oh, I got a number 46.
And they were only paid ones, weren't they?
There's been a lot of, you know, unpaid interns and whatnot.
That was a fun reaction.
Yeah, they're dorks, but they're usually pretty on the money.
That was a worthwhile reaction I think. Both Dave and Jess had made that same joke already
and you laughed. I made it in a more clever way
using a word that maybe some of you hadn't heard before, intern.
Pretty clever. That's two syllables. But yeah. And then,
and that was what turned you on me.
I like how Matt's become the villain of this. Yeah. I'm
loving it. This is a glimpse into his solo show. He goes, Oh,
too clever for you. Was it after every joke, Matt's Matt's
do it in that deserved more.
I saw it last week. You're fantastic.
You're absolutely fantastic.
All right. Very defensive.
And also, but probably a little rough on Sren calling a solo show, but.
Well, he didn't yell at me, so I don't remember anything though.
OK, I love anything referred to as the something incident.
And there's a bunch of those on this.
Let's get into it. We'll start our story with Jimmy Carter.
Oh my God.
Is this about a rabbit?
Yes.
I, I wrote a report on this last night for my sleep podcast.
You're kidding.
Let's see how it works.
For people who don't know, I do a show now that's meant to put people to sleep.
And this.
And now people are here laughing. I'm probably laughing.
Oh my God.
This is a topic I wrote one on last night.
Oh, here we go.
The most boring thing you could think of.
Yes.
Yeah.
I think it might, to be honest, I think it's going to fright people away.
It's freaky.
Yeah.
But before we get there.
Do you want to tell it or do you want me to tell it?
Isn't that weird?
That's so weird, man.
That is weird.
That's so weird.
No one's even suggested this in the hat.
I just came across it.
I never heard of it before last night.
Oh my God.
Or a week before that, but still.
I thought last night would sound more impressive.
Obviously, I didn't just...
There was a process that I had to go through to select the
topic. And I took something like a week, but you know, basically last night.
Yeah.
Okay. Jimmy Carter, let me tell you, there's a bit of a run-up to it as well. You probably didn't
have this bit. He doesn't have the most typical presidential background. He joined the US Navy's
submarine service. Come on. What have you written? Pause for Jess.
For you, my big friend, I think submarines are silly.
I don't I don't hate them.
I just think they're a bit silly.
Why do you have to go underwater?
Well, he did, but he gave up his military service to save the family peanut farm.
I'm really glad you said farm.
I've got to protect the peanut.
That peanut's been in my family for generations.
The peanut man then became governor of Georgia in 1971, but people were
surprised when a few years later he announced his bid to become US president,
as no one really knew who he was outside of Georgia.
You're still talking about Jimmy Carter, not the peanut.
Not the peanut.
It's not a man that appears in your nightmares, the peanut man.
Terrifying man.
Carter won the Democratic nomination and narrowly defeated the incumbent Republic Party President
Gerald Ford in the 1976 presidential election and he did things a little differently being
nicknamed
Jimmy Cardigan. A nickname he received after he wore an unbuttoned beige cardigan instead
of a suit jacket just two weeks after being sworn in as president.
This is a loose unit.
What a guy.
Beige too, the most cardigan-y of the cardigans.
I would never live it down.
I would be out of there.
Isn't it amazing how American politics has changed?
Like Trump could literally say, fuck your mum to a journalist and they'd be like, okay.
But back then, someone's wearing a cardigan and they're like, scandalous.
Yeah, that's right.
And it became his nickname and I got distracted early on with this report and did a bit of
a deep dive and found what is now my fifth favorite Wikipedia page, which is a list of
nicknames of presidents of the United States.
Just to recap, the list is now number one, list of inventors killed by their inventions.
Number two, sexually active Pope.
Number three, churches in Antarctica.
Number four, list of talk down aircraft landings.
And number five, list of nicknames
for presidents of the United States.
Let's see what everyone thinks of these nicknames.
There's a few on the list that we'd all know,
like Honest Abe, JFK, LBJ,
Lyndon B. Johnson.
But I...
Lyndon Blowjob.
So we've got the bad boys on this side. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Nerds over there.
Matt says what we're all thinking.
And then the man mountain in the middle.
Oh my gosh.
OK.
I did not know that the second US president,
John Adams nickname was
His Rotundity. For his girthy bodily figure it says
that's awesome that's over Charles Barkley's another great one the round mound of rebound
yes sir Thomas Jefferson was known as long tom. Oh my.
And he was a short man.
No, he was six or three. It was a tall guy.
It's pretty tall.
It's pretty tall.
James Monroe was the last cocked hat.
What?
The last cocked hat because he was the last US president to wear a
tricorn hat according to the old fashioned style of the 18th century.
Who cares?
Audrey, I'm really interested. Are you telling Jess?
Are you kidding?
I care, this is great.
He was the last president to wear a specific kind of hat.
Shut up!
What's a tricorn hat?
That's a hat with three bits of corn on it?
Yeah.
I can see why they went out of fashion.
Andrew Jackson's nickname was Jackass.
On account of his crazy stances.
Down now.
Yeah.
He kept dacking everyone.
Revealing everyone's long toms.
So, and there was his critics,
disparaging him as Jackass.
However, Jackson embraced the animal, making it the unofficial symbol of the
democratic party and you'll still see the donkey as a symbol.
Oh, an ass.
An ass.
So he reclaimed the ass.
The audience officially edutained.
Yeah, we did it.
That's our first, he was an asshole.
He was like a piece of shit as well.
I think so.
Jackass.
He's a president.
Of course he was.
I think even for them. Ohass. He's a president. Of course he was.
I think even for them. Oh wow, even by their standards.
Yeah, yeah.
Even by their standards.
William Henry Harrison was old granny.
He said, opponents called him this for he was the oldest person at the time to be president.
He was 68.
Joe Biden is 81.
And this guy died 31 days after becoming president.
That's how old he was. Old granny.
And the man who replaced him was John Tyler.
And his nickname was His Accidency.
Did he keep pissing himself?
Just over and over again.
It's all been there.
Constantly soiled.
Franklin Pierce?
Handsome Frank.
That's better than Mr. Piss Your Pants.
Yeah, imagine being replaced.
You're called his accident see because you piss yourself.
And the next guy is just the hot one.
That's really annoying.
Handsome Frank is fantastic.
That's going to be my new name in the group chat. You're handsome Frank.
No, it's not.
You'll be his accidents.
I fear the rules.
To yourself.
Can I give them to yourself?
All right.
Dave's handsome Frank.
Even if you try, I'll delete it.
She will.
Rather.
Okay.
Daddy.
It's her current name in there.
They want to talk to me.
They got to write, Hey daddy.
Uh, possibly my favorite one.
And this is a nickname that we're probably all going to be fighting for.
Chester A Arthur's nickname was the dude president.
You can have it. I'm okay with that.
He was called that because he had an extravagant wardrobe that reportedly included 80 pairs of
trousers, which he often changed throughout the day. It sounds like he just kept shitting himself.
He changed pants multiple times a day.
How does that relate to dudes?
The dude president.
Oh, sorry.
Now I understand.
Any further questions, stupid?
I don't know.
I don't know why.
They called him the dude.
He's really embarrassed himself.
That's why they call him Mr. Accidents.
Benjamin Harrison was the human iceberg.
Because he kept sinking ships.
Because you could, he always pulled out his tip.
I was just the tip.
Something about that.
That's about it.
Yeah.
Something about the tip.
Yeah.
We got the rude boys over here.
Okay.
That was a real build your own joke sort of scenario
You gave us the pieces and we had this I care it
He's a human aspect is apparently in his speeches he was warm and engaging but then one-on-one he could be cold and detached
Offstage I am a human iceberg. Are icebergs famously detached?
Just checking.
Confirmed.
Confirmed.
Famously.
I want to point out most of the tone was yes, but one over here was yes.
And I loved it.
It had, cause the, you idiot. Yeah.
Was implied.
I think, I think this is a good example of the Alice's in general.
That's the one I would screenshot and say, fuck you.
Everyone else is like, how great are they?
And then, fuck you.
And then Jess and I would have a second group chat.
Just the two of us would say, I actually think they had a point.
But we're scared to talk about it. And then Jess and I would have a second group chat. Just the two of us would say, I actually think they had a point.
But we're scared to talk about it. But in the chat we'd be going, yeah, what an idiot.
Yeah.
You were the smart one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wait, you guys don't have a chat about me, do you?
No.
Yeah, well, that makes sense.
We're not there.
All right, we've got a couple more.
And I can't go past Matt's favorite president.
Taft.
Oh, I love Taft.
Taft in the bath.
Taft.
Did one of these sleep shows about this guy getting stuck in the bath.
Also last president of the US to have facial hair.
What a guy.
Beautiful big Mo.
This guy, if the name wasn't already taken, he
could have been the rotunda or whatever.
Well, take your pick. There's a few options for Taft. There's a big Bill, big
chief.
Oh, not bad.
Yeah. Big, big lub.
Okay.
Or sleeping beauty, a nickname his wife, Helen Taft called him because he was
always falling asleep.
I love this guy.
I love him so much.
Ironically, he was very ugly when he slept.
So Helen was being a bit of a bitch.
He is my favorite present, but I don't know.
Is his first name Bill?
His first name is William.
Okay.
Your favorite president. Until you said that I'd forgotten all about him, but yeah.
Definitely ring some bells.
Taft.
Taft in the back.
Fun to say.
We got two more.
I couldn't go past Woodrow Wilson.
Oh, when the wind blows.
Nickname, Coiner of Weasel Woods.
Couldn't believe it. Coiner of Weasel words.
Couldn't believe it. Given to him by former president Theodore Roosevelt in his speech.
And then everyone was like, yeah, he's the coiner of Weasel words.
That's accurate.
I don't, yeah.
Okay.
Yep.
Two, you can't have a nickname that goes that long.
I don't think.
Yeah.
You just call him the Weasel.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Yep.
Coiner of Weasel words.
Fuck off. Yeah. Fuck off.. Yeah. Corner of weasel words. Fuck off.
Yeah.
Fuck off.
Honestly, that makes me hate Roosevelt.
Shut up.
You better get ready to get absolutely rinsed in the group chat.
Roosevelt.
And then Jess and I are in a separate chat saying, actually, we thought you had a point.
Yeah.
He is a corner of weasel words.
And finally, Kelvin Coolidge, AKA Cautious Cal, Silent Cal, or Cool Cal.
Oh, Cool Cal makes sense.
Cause he's actually, he was a part of the reason why air conditioning was invented.
Ah, it's true.
He got shot.
He was assassinated and they were trying to keep him alive in the heat.
So they, yeah, engineers from the army came in and they brought refrigeration and ice
and big fans to blow through his hospital room, kind of inventing air conditioning.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
Did you know that?
No, I did not know that.
No.
The punchline on this is going to be incredible though.
Yeah.
This is great.
He's wound it up, he's wound up the bitch, and this is going to be, oh, I cannot wait.
And then he's going to turn around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mace, oh, this is a serious show.
Oh.
This is, Dave and I started this show and then invited our second and third, third, fourth,
fuck of it, to add a bit of humor. And then invited our second and third, third, fourth.
Fuck of it. To add a bit of humor, but Dave and I here just to let people know about the things we've learned.
If you want, if you want to make that funny, great.
That's a bonus. But I'll work on it all at the end.
Come on, something. We'll have something.
We'll build towards something.
OK, great. Everyone look forward to the big, big finish.
But back to Jimmy Carter again, aka Jimmy Carter. Now before he became president, he promised to do something none of his predecessors would. And it's
all because of an incident that happened in 1969. Nice. He saw a UFO.
saw a UFO. We'll put the X-Files theme in post there. One evening in 1969, two years
before he became governor of Georgia.
Jess, was it nice?
I'll explain later mate.
Carter was preparing to give a speech at a Lions club.
Jess, don't read ahead.
Sorry. Read ahead.
When at about 7.15, one of the guests drew attention
to a strange, bright white object,
about as bright as the moon,
which makes me think, is it the moon?
That was about 30 degrees above the horizon
to the west of where they were standing.
According to Fox, he described a ball of light
that changed size, brightness, and color
over a period of 10 to 12 minutes.
He didn't hear anything coming from it. No whirl of a helicopter or buzz of an engine.
It could not be explained.
Could be a silent disco.
Damn, that's right.
Was everyone wearing headphones that were lighting up?
Yeah.
Was it really kind of obnoxious and they were walking down the street?
Yeah.
And they were sort of looking at everyone like,
bleh.
Yeah, like bleh.
Exactly.
Like the first time you saw it,
you went, that's a bit of fun.
And then the 20th time you're like,
shut the fuck up.
Yeah.
Go inside, you losers.
We get it.
You know the lyrics to Pink's,
get the party started.
Get God.
And they were all,
they were all singing sneaky sound systems.
I saw your photo.
What could I mean? And they were all, they were all singing sneaky sound systems. I saw a UFO.
What could I mean?
You said you quoted Fox.
Yeah.
Like I might've missed the setup, but is that Moldova?
Yeah.
So this does go, this is a real one. This is the real one.
Oh yeah.
So he saw this UFO.
He didn't file the report until 1973, four years later when an agency, if you do it for
every year, I will give you a dollar.
When an agency called the International UFO Bureau sent him a form to fill out.
Yeah, sometimes there's little barriers to making a report like that and sometimes it's The agency called the International UFO Bureau sent him a form to fill out.
Yeah, sometimes there's little barriers to making a report like that. And sometimes it's just not having the right form.
Yeah, because I felt like that.
For the IUFOB.
The IUFOB.
It's the agency there.
And he filled it out.
Yeah, that's nice.
You think there's still around?
You think I can get a little card?
Yeah, yeah.
Great.
The siding had a long lasting impact on Carter. During his 1976 election campaign,
he is said to have told reporters that as a result of it, he would institute a policy
of openness if he were elected, saying, one thing's for sure, I'll never make fun of
people who say they've seen unidentified objects in the sky. And the National Enquirer quoted
him as saying, if I become president, I'll make every piece of information
this country has about UFO sightings available to the public.
I am convinced that UFOs exist because I have seen one.
But then when he got into the Oval Office,
he suddenly changed his tune.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, okay.
Despite this earlier pledge, once elected,
Carter distanced himself from the disclosure,
citing defense implications as being behind his decision.
He's in the pocket of big little green man.
That's excellent.
Yep.
Someone had clearly gotten to him.
In 2007, he was interviewed on the podcast, The Skeptic's Guide to the Universe.
And when asked if he pursued the government's knowledge of UFOs during his time in the office,
Mr. Carter said, I can't respond to that.
Whoa.
Wow.
Even then, what was the year?
2007.
Nice.
You just earned yourself a dollar.
But that's not my favourite supernatural incident involving President Jimmy Carter.
My favourite that Matt knows is known as the Jimmy Carter Rabbit Incident.
It's a bit of fun.
This happened during his presidency when on April 20th, 1979, President Carter was fishing
in his hometown of Plains, Georgia, alone in a flat-bottomed boat while staff were on
land nearby.
Flat-bottomed boats, they make that fish and well go around, you know what I mean?
Thank you.
I'll be going now.
I like flat bottom boats and I cannot lie.
It's sort of the same.
It's mostly the same, yeah.
It's slightly less good.
Jess, you got one?
No.
No.
Carter later recalled the incident.
I was fishing one afternoon and a rabbit was being chased by hounds.
He jumped in the water and swam toward my boat. When he almost got there
I splashed some water with a paddle. To deter the rabbit. Fuck off, fuck off. Get out of here. Get
your own boat. Yeah, come on. I'm president. Get your own flat bottom boat. I'm your president. I'm
fishing. You're scaring away my fish. Can rabbits swim? Well, when Carter returned to his office,
his staff did not believe his story,
saying rabbits could not swim,
and that one would never approach a person
threateningly in a boat.
They basically told the president, you are full of shit.
They can swim though.
I saw a video recently, their ears go in a swim mode.
You see that?
Whoosh.
That's cute as shit.
Yeah.
Love that.
Yeah.
Well, his aides did not believe him.
According to Carter, his press secretary jokingly,
and this is Jody Powell, jokingly shared the rabbit story
with members of the press one night at a bar,
and it became a new story.
The Washington Post ran the headline,
President Attacked by Rabbit On the front page.
That is, that's a big news week.
A lot going on.
He was mocked in the media about being attacked by a killer rabbit
and he was ridiculed in cartoons and novelty songs were written about the incident.
Oh my gosh.
And the story persisted for more than a week.
It would not go away. Trying to get on top of the incident and prove my gosh. And the story persisted for more than a week. It would not
go away. Trying to get on top of the incident and prove that it actually happened because
everyone was like that did not happen Mr. President. The White House released a photo
that a White House photographer had happened to take of the rabbit swimming towards the
president. But this absolutely backfired and it made the event even more funny. And people made more fun of him. And if you see it, he's just sort of like,
oh, go away.
As a rabbit sort of like coming towards him.
A rabbit?
Yeah.
So good.
Ha, ha.
A cute little bunny coming at you?
Please stop it, no.
And the press speculated,
how was a guy who let a rabbit get the drop on him
supposed to guard the US from attack by the Soviet Union.
I mean, he doesn't physically do that himself, you know.
How's he going to fight off those commies with a paddle if he can't fight off a rabbit?
Which of course, like the rabbit just kept swimming. It wasn't coming at all.
So like, it's very weird that he basically lost the presidency because they took it off him.
They said you can't be president.
No, I can't believe his aides didn't believe him either.
Aides you'd think wouldn't get a worse rap now.
They don't even believe in their own president.
Yeah, they're supposed to just be a room full of yes people.
Come on.
They didn't even believe it.
WNYC writes that of all the crises that President Carter faced in 1979,
the incident crystallized an emerging sense that Carter was a man in over his head.
He lost the next election 18 months later when Ronald Reagan beat him in a landslide.
Can he blame the killer rabbit?
I think a little bit.
I think Reagan bit a rabbit's head off on stage.
Just to prove he was the bigger man.
And he was. he was. Yeah.
It was actually gnarly. It was so cool.
It was so gnarly. That's right. We skipped through Ronald Reagan mostly because I'm
scared of him because he sounds like an absolute terrifying man. To George H.W. Bush, who had been
Reagan's vice president. This is George Bush senior. My favorite thing I learned about him is
he hated broccoli and spoke out against...
Yeah, boo.
Yeah.
Big broccoli fans in tonight.
He spoke out against the vegetable on many occasions.
One saying at a press conference, I do not like broccoli and I haven't liked it since
I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
Now I'm president of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.
I did not have sexual relations with that broccoli or any green vegetable.
Yeah. Do you think, do you think he's hiding something?
I think he's hiding something.
This is all just him pushing away the broccoli story because they know there's photos.
Would you do those broccolis, Mr Bush?
I don't know, I'm only asking the question.
Do you know, Mason, what do you do with those broccolis?
Hey, your son says more than words ever could.
He put him in his butt.
I reckon that's what it was.
I'll be honest, I was thinking he put him in his butt.
He put him in his butt.
I can't say that.
I can't say that on my guess.
George HW, he started the new year of 1992 with a 12-day trade-focused trip to Asia and
the Pacific.
And on the 8th of January, he played a doubles tennis match with US ambassador to Japan,
Michael Armacost, against the emperor of Japan, Akihito, and his son, Crown Prince Naruhito.
The emperor and the crown prince won.
Of course they did.
That evening, Bush and his wife Barbara attended a state event for 135 diplomats
held at the Japanese prime minister's residence.
As the guest of honor, President Bush sat next to the Japanese prime minister,
Kichi Miyazawa. The president was scheduled to give some
remarks during the dinner, but between the second and third courses, he began to
feel slightly unwell. He suddenly slumped his left and projectile vomited into the
Japanese Prime Minister's lap before fully passing out while seated at the table.
He sort of goes like this.
First lady Barbara Bush held a napkin to her husband's mouth until the secret
service took over, picking him up and lying him down on the floor.
And of course there was, there was a bit of panic
that the president might have been poisoned
or worse made to eat broccoli.
He could have been allergic to tennis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Could have been the tennis.
Allergic to losing.
Yeah.
But Bush regained consciousness on the floor
and quipped to his personal doctor,
Burton Lee who had rushed over saying,
roll me under the table until the dinner's over.
I don't know, he's a funny guy.
He's a funny guy.
That's pretty good recovery.
Yeah, that's good.
And you'll be pleased to know there's a video on YouTube
of the entire incident called,
and I'm serious, it's called George HW Bush Vomits,
highest quality, restored.
Although upscaled that with AI.
So that's going to be good.
We'll be able to see the little bits of carrots.
You can zoom.
Certainly not broccoli.
You can see what he had.
It has almost 1 million views.
And one of the top comments is, and I definitely like this comment.
Thanks for the upgrade!
I posted my old VHS dub 15 years ago and for years it was the
only public copy. Great to see important history preserved.
So you can, it's forever. Full HD.
It's in the history museum next to the Declaration of Independence. Just an old tube TV playing
the video of independence. It's just an old tube TV playing the video on loop.
I want to be, he did a tricorn spew.
The last president to do so.
That's why his nickname is tricorn spew president.
You're all go, Oh, that's. We've all been calling him that.
We never knew why.
Again, the event, it's known as the George Bush
vomiting incident.
It was reported on the media like a lot,
parodied on Saturday Night Live and all the US talk shows.
But quickly Bush recovered and doctors later
attributed the incident to a case of acute gastro. He was sick, yeah? Yeah. That guy has a fun energy.
And it was a big deal in Japan where the president had vomited all over their prime minister.
According to the Encyclopedia of political communication.
It was a bit crook.
Yeah.
It was crook what he done there.
It's no good.
Luckily, it was actually the highest
on you can bestow on someone in that scenario.
Well, his other option was go the other way
and vomit on his wife.
But then he'd never bloody hear the end of that, would he?
Doesn't have to go to bed with the Japanese.
At least the Prime Minister would be like,
polite about it to your face.
Like, that's all right, mate, you're obviously not well.
But your wife would be like, you fucking dog.
So I think you made the right call.
Never vomit on your wife.
Jess, as a feminist of the show,
I gotta say all wives aren't the same.
Some wives would be like, thank you so much.
Yeah, that's true.
OK, OK. New rule.
Not never vomit on your wife.
Check in with your wife's preferences around vomit
and proceed accordingly.
Thank you for correcting me on that.
That was important.
That's why we have him.
In Japan. So the biggest thing in Japan,
the Japanese phrase bushusuru was coined, which means to do the bush thing or, quote unquote,
bushing it. So if you just have a bit of a vom on someone, you've just done the bush thing.
You've done a bush. You've done a bush.
vomit on someone. You've just done the Bush thing. You've done a Bush. Both President Bush lost his bid for reelection later that year and the following year, Japanese Prime Minister Miyazawa
resigned in 1993 after losing a vote of no confidence. Was it because of the vomit? Yeah.
Maybe. I don't want a Prime Minister that's been vomited on. Yeah. Oh, no thank you. Yeah. I mean,
you'd clean him off, but then you'd have to put like that plastic protector
for the rest of his career.
Yeah, you can't get the smell out sometimes.
Like a couch, like an old couch.
Yeah, like carpet in a primary school corridor,
for example.
Yeah, I prefer the nightclub style of just putting down sawdust on top of it.
Just spread sawdust on top of the president.
And keep dancing.
That'll soak it right up.
It's not time to go home.
Sharon!
Now, this is an example of one of those Simpsons jokes that I get 30 years later.
When I picked him up on the Simpsons, George Bush, remember how he had the big fight with
Homer, two bad neighbors.
He says to Homer whilst choking him, now I'll ruin you like a Japanese banquet.
That's good stuff.
That's good stuff.
That is good.
I thought they meant because of just his general horrible nature,
you know, failure of diplomacy, but it was the vomit thing. Yeah. Now that's cool. Yeah. It's actually less funny.
Now Dave explained that barking up the wrong bush bit.
Well, what does that mean? Something, somethings are inexplainable.
Somethings are inexplainable. Yeah.
Where's the old Matt now?
See, I said something stupid.
I normally would be like, oh Matt.
The listeners at home, Matt gave the root to the audience.
George HW lost the 1992 presidential election to Bill Clinton, who was inaugurated in January
1993.
Obviously we can skip over him because he had nothing.
I'm going to talk about the most controversial thing that happened to him.
Oh my gosh.
I'm talking about in May of 1993 when he was in the media for all the wrong reasons, Bill
Clinton's hair gate.
Yeah, I'm going there.
I am going there.
Can you believe it?
I can't.
A lot of these live shows are quite like a pantomime.
It's fun.
Bill Clinton's hair's behind you.
The media reported that, again, this is another huge media story.
The media reported that Bill Clinton was aboard Air Force One on May 13 at LA International
Airport when a Belgian-American hairstylist called Christophe boarded the plane to give him a haircut and not a cheap cut either.
There are reports that Kristoff haircuts cost US $200 back in 1993.
So this wasn't the guy down the barber college.
This is the Kristoff, you know, Kristoff, we've all heard of him.
As the president received this haircut, two runways at one of the world's busiest airports
were shut down for an hour on account of the president's plane standing on the tarmac.
Incoming flights were delayed, people were hours late, and when the media got wind of
this, the public were furious.
It was front page news for the New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, and the Boston Globe.
The Washington Post said it was the most famous haircut since Samson's.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
And it was referred to as the most expensive haircut
in history.
Wow, imagine being late for a meeting and being like,
sorry, I'm late, the president was getting a haircut.
The most expensive haircut in history,
did they put 24-carat gold dandruffs?
Yeah, that's how they do it.
Just rub it through.
No benefit, no benefit at all.
But it looks fucking so cool when he scratches his head
and like all this gold shit comes off.
Communications director, George Stephanopoulos
came under fire at multiple news press conferences
and I just kept asking about the hair, about the hair.
Is there another Simpsons one?
Any questions?
Keeping in mind I've already explained the hair.
George Bush?
Maybe?
Anyway, the only problem was that this whole story was bullshit.
He did get a haircut from Christoph whilst on Air Force One at the airport, but the delays
were all made up.
And it's been debunked on Snopes.com, which says, virtually none of the often repeated,
still often repeated details of Hairgate were true.
By the end of the following month, news sources such as Newsday had already obtained and reported
on Federal Aviation Administration records documenting that haircut,
the haircut, they could just call it haircut, it's the haircut, caused no significant delays
or regularly scheduled passenger flights, no circling planes, no traffic jams on the runways.
And when this came out, the media went silent and most of them did not address an update.
So that's why a lot of people still think it happened.
That doesn't sound like the media.
But the damage was done and Hairgate solidified an opinion in some quarters of Clinton's out
of touch excesses.
He was forced to leave the Oval Office just eight short years later.
Because of Hairgate?
Some might say that, but mostly because he had served two full terms in the 22nd Amendment
states that no person shall be elected to the office of president more than twice, but still but still
I'm sure. I reckon if he didn't have that haircut they would have bent the rules just a little bit. He could have got 12, you know?
Yeah, yeah
The incident the incident was good for one person. Christophe greatly increased his fame as a stylist
You can still go visit him in the Hollywood Hills, I believe
But just for a chat or what?
He's a very friendly man.
I don't, Christoph is such a good name.
Yeah.
Christoph, I don't know.
I know nothing about him, but I trust him to cut my hair.
And I trust nearly no one to do that.
I take very good care of my hair.
I honestly haven't let anyone cut it apart from myself for years.
Nothing but the best for you.
The story of Hairgate actually did introduce me to my sixth favourite Wikipedia page, which
is list of gait scandals and controversies.
Since Watergate, nearly anything vaguely scandalous has been labelled the something gate and hair
gates on there, you better believe.
The list also includes donut gate.
In July 2015, singer Ariana Grande was observed on video in California licking unpurchased
donuts and stating, I hate Americans.
I hate America.
That's disgusting.
I totally missed that story.
Do you remember?
No.
There you go.
Did you look
into that at all? Is that true? Yeah, I think there's video footage of it. She's licking donuts.
Yeah. And muttering, I hate America. Yeah. Okay. I mean we've all done it, but check that there's
cameras. Yeah, rookie era, rookie era.
Do we all remember Fridgegate, after refusing to be interviewed
a number of times in the 2019 election campaign, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson
hid in a fridge to avoid being interviewed by Good Morning Britain?
I missed that one as well.
No, I remember Fridgegate. He's still in there.
I haven't seen him in ages actually.
There's trusses in the fridge as well.
It was just enough room.
And there's also gate gate, a UK political row when Andrew Mitchell, who's an MP allegedly
called a policeman a pleb after he was asked to use another gate to leave Downing Street
on his bicycle.
And then the pages from the wiki page, it writes,
this gate scandal is noteworthy for actually involving a gate.
Oh, hell yeah.
That's why wiki's so good.
I love that.
I would have called it pleb gate.
I think they just desperately wanted to have a gate gate.
Pleb gate's fun.
Yeah, pleb gate, yeah.
Imagine that, sorry, sir, if you could just use a different gate.
Oh, yeah, pleb.
Pleb. It's a bit of an overreaction. The theater you could just use a different gate. Oh, you're a pleb.
It's a bit of an overreaction.
The theatre stepped down too over Gate Gate.
The page also says that another scandal named Gate Gate,
there's two gate gates, take your pick here,
involved Scottish footballer Ross McCormack,
claiming that he was unable to attend Aston Villa training
due to his electric gate at his home not functioning. It is believed that his
manager Steve Bruce travelled to his house to measure his fence. The fence was only four foot
six inches high and Bruce was furious that he didn't jump the fence to come to training.
And he was like penalised by the club and basically never played for Aston Villa.
That's not a very high gate.
No.
I can't get out.
I'm stuck.
Bruce, I'm stuck.
I can see over it.
It's only up to my belly button.
I can't get out.
I have to stay home and play Xbox.
I really want to be a training, but I'm a gate.
What is he, a sim?
Is there any controversy about their being two gate gates?
They're taking the ladder out of the pool.
Oh, we're going to do two pods at once.
Sorry, there was some crosstalk there.
I did have the thought a while ago I should stop talking.
I think that pretty much confirmed it.
Well, we've got time for one final incident involving Bill Clinton's successor, George W. Bush.
Yeah.
Again, I have no idea what this, what that wonderful man could have done.
Exactly.
Two terms, he just sailed through perfectly.
He never made a gaffe.
Real well-spoken.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
On the 14th of December, 2008, with little over a month left to his presidency, I mean,
he's like, how could it go wrong from here?
George W. Bush headed to Iraq.
The scene of his much-beligned war, and he held a press conference at the Prime Minister's
Palace in Baghdad alongside Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri al-Malik, I've written this out, Nouri Al Malik, I've written this out, Nouri Al Maliki.
At the press conference, Iraqi journalist,
Muntada Al Zaidi stood up and shouted in Arabic,
this is a farewell kiss from the Iraqi people, you dog.
And then proceeded to hurl his shoes one after another
at President George W. Bush.
All right.
All right.
But I mean, you can only wear two shoes at a time.
So he had a bag of his shoes as well.
What am I going to walk home barefoot?
That's stupid.
Yeah.
He threw all but one pair of flip flops.
Going through security with like a bag full of crocs.
Crocs with little knives in them.
Bush ducked twice to avoid being hit by the shoes
and Prime Minister of Iraq, Al Maliki,
attempted to catch one of the shoes to protect him.
Al Zaidi later told New York Mag,
Bush was talking, saying he would have dinner with Maliki
after the press conference, and I said to myself,
I have a good dinner for you, you'll eat my shoe.
Which you've got to admit is a good line,
even if you've had several years to think about it.
And no one else heard it. Unfortunately, L's AD was severely punished being beaten up and
violently dragged from the room and eventually he received a three-year prison sentence for the
incident. He was later released after nine months, but he was hailed a hero by many and in Tikrit,
which is 80 miles north of Baghdad,
a giant sculpture of a shoe was unveiled as a tribute.
Not the man, the shoe. That's good.
No, just the shoe. It's a really, you can see photos of it. It's just a really, really big shoe.
Really big. It was soon removed by authorities though.
Oh, no fun.
All the big things in Australia,
do they represent things that have been thrown
at prime ministers?
Like the big prawn and the big, the big world?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The golden gumboot.
It was full of piss.
Oh, not the piss boot.
In the months and years afterwards,
dozens of copycat incidents occurred around the world
with angry citizens inspired by
I was 80 firing shoes at political figures.
And this has actually introduced me
to my seventh favorite Wikipedia page,
incidents of objects being thrown at politicians.
And there's quite a few shoes, some eggs,
a few custard pies being thrown.
You probably expect to see all those kinds of things.
Sweden are mad for throwing cake.
Yeah, there's no less than five examples on the list of Swedish politicians having cake
thrown at them.
Okay.
It feels like a waste of cake.
It is an absolute waste of cake. It does.
You could throw a cake at me really gently.
Kind of like handing it to me.
I would accept that.
And then you complete the throw
by throwing it into your mouth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Piece by piece with a fork.
Oh, stop it.
Oh no, red velvet, my favorite.
Oh no.
And then as a tribute, we'd unveil a giant cake.
We got it.
We got it.
Some were quite violent in Italy in 2009.
A souvenir cathedral was thrown at Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi causing damage to his nose
and teeth.
A cathedral.
A little cathedral.
I think it was the little Duomo.
A little like a model of it.
Just someone just pegged it at his face.
What's coming at me from the distance?
A Lego sister in chapel.
Oh my God.
It's so beautiful, but oh God.
Oh, I've got Jesus in my teeth now.
That's gotta be the quote of the pod brother. I've got Jesus in my teeth. What are we doing? We're almost there. This is it.
This is our job.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Jesus in my teeth.
Thanks for coming.
What?
But my absolute favourite country for throwing things at their politicians and world leaders,
surprisingly is New Zealand.
Any New Zealanders in?
Oh my gosh, you're mad for it. Queen Elizabeth II was egged in
1996. I don't worry, she was riding in an open car with Prince Philip. Oh my gosh. Then February 6,
1990, Queen Elizabeth II again, came under fire and was almost hit by a wet t-shirt
and was almost hit by a wet t-shirt during White Tangy Day ceremonies. Oh my God.
But my...
She wasn't spearmint rhino at the time.
Yeah, it's her own fault.
They were inviting her to participate in the wet t-shirt competition.
Yeah, put it on!
Come on!
Have a little fun!
Yeah, enjoy yourself.
It's the 90s.
But my favorite, my favorite incident occurred the day before Waitangi Day in 2006.
Waitangi Day is New Zealand's national holiday. It commemorates the signing of the Treaty of Waitangi between the British Crown and the representatives of the Māori on the 6th of February, 1840.
Because the Treaty of Waitangi was for many years ignored by European colonists, Waitangi Day celebrations have frequently been a scene of political protest. Let me tell you about my favourite right now.
The 12th of February 2016, New Zealand had just signed the 12 Nation Trans-Pacific Partnership.
The trade agreement, which had been widely criticised by Maori people as undermining
the self-determination guaranteed to them by the Treaty of Waitangi.
Minister for Economic Development Stephen Joyce was sent as the government's representative to Waitangi after Prime Minister John Key decided after the backlash
it probably wasn't a good idea for him to go. So his minion Stephen Joyce was sent out.
Joyce is going to cop it. I can't wait. Do you reckon?
And he was speaking to news reporters when he was hit in the face by a dildo.
Yes!
Yep, that rules.
The object had been thrown by a Christchurch nurse called Josie Butler.
After being hit in the face with a dildo, Joyce responded, good-o.
Incredible response. being hit in the face with a dildo, Joyce responded, good-o.
Incredible response.
Which was the brand of the dildo, I think, good-o.
Was that a good-o? Yeah, that was a good-o.
Just a little wave there as people got it.
Josie Butler was arrested but released without charge. She later explained that she was concerned about the TPP's effect on the cost of medication
for her patients.
The significance of the dildo was not explained.
It's what she had on her.
Some people have shoes, some have a little tiny cathedral.
She's gone through a pair, she's like, what can I throw?
What can I throw?
Can't throw the phone, can't throw the little pawpaw right.
Can't throw my wallet.
I'll throw the dildo.
I can get another one of those.
And then a month later they erected a dildo statue In her honor. The media began referring to Stephen Joyce as dildo Baggins.
Sometimes people restore your faith in humanity. That's one of the times I'm
like I'm proud to be a human. We actually kind of rule and then most of the time
like we are the worst but dildo Baggins really saves it.
Joyce did seem to have a pretty good sense of humor about the incident at the
time comedian and host of last week tonight John Oliver was frequently
making fun of New Zealand politicians and soon after the incident Joyce
tweeted all right someone send the gif over to John Oliver so we can get it over Oliver was frequently making fun of New Zealand politicians. And soon after the incident, Joyce tweeted,
"'All right, someone send the gif over to John Oliver
"'so he can get it over with.'"
And Oliver saw that and responded
with an extravagant segment on his show,
featuring a redesigned New Zealand flag,
brandished by Sir Peter Jackson,
which had the face of Joyce and the dildo on it.
And then a reign of dildos performed
in giant dildo costumes
and a choir singing about the incident
to the tune of Hallelujah.
And he responded on Twitter,
well, that was actually pretty funny.
But in conclusion, my favorite part about it all
is that on the Wiki page discussing the event,
it's listed as if it was like a real serious attack. It says attack type flung object, weapons rubber toy dildo, deaths zero,
injured zero and at the top of the article is a freeze frame of the moment and it's captained
it's captained Stephen Joyce at the moment of dildo impact.
That's what it looks like. See that's his face. I put this out on our Instagram.
That's right, that's right in the strike zone. That's a good arm on that one. Absolutely nailed him. And the wiki page writes, the page writes, the incident is known as the
dildo incident, but was also referred to as dildo gate, meaning it's an incident,
an object thrown at a politician and the gate,
the big three,
making it my single all-time favourite Wikipedia page.
We did it!
We did it!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Hello.
Hello.
That's it, that's it.
Give it up for Dave, everybody.
Hello. Thank you. Thank you.
Thank you.
That's so funny.
Bit of fun.
I'm glad you had a picture because I did need the, I needed the image.
I was like, I need to know what color it is.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, I imagined purple for some reason.
Me too! Right? Yeah Oh yeah. Yeah, I imagined purple for some reason. Me too!
Right?
Purple!
Yeah, yeah.
What the fuck?
It should be purple.
It should be purple.
You're wrong, it should be purple.
Wow.
It's got a purple tinge.
No, it...
No, don't give us false hope, Dave.
Don't do that.
It's pink.
Yeah.
God, how much did I talk?
That's pink, mate. Yeah, okay.
You're right.
You're just talking about the tip
being a slightly different color.
Yeah.
I thought there was something for everyone there,
but okay.
No.
This is Mandela effect, I think.
Yeah, that's cool.
Well done, Dave.
It's from a universe where it was purple.
Yeah.
A better universe.
Mandildo effect.
Yeah.
That's good stuff. Welcome back,o effect. That's good stuff. Welcome back Matt Stewart.
We've got to get out of here because there's another show in here after this and it's us.
Thank you so much. I believe we do have to clear the room to reset for the next show. So I'm afraid
even if you are coming to the next one, if you go upstairs, grab a drink, hang out and then we'll
open the doors about 15 minutes before the next one. But thank you so much for coming and
being on the show, Nick Mason.
Thank you.
Give it up for Nick Mason.
Of course. I'm sure that nearly everyone who listens to our show listens to your show,
but just in case the weekly planet is coming out a couple of times a week at the moment.
Oh, too many times, honestly. It's. Too many times for my liking, honestly.
But yeah, if you like movies and TV shows,
and comic books, and video games, and all that sort of stuff,
we would do a podcast about that.
So yeah.
Check it out.
One more time for Maiso.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Great.
Great.
Well, any final words, team?
Your mom's butt.
Couldn't think of a better way to finish it.
Thank you so much for coming out. We'll see you next time.
Thank you.
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And edit it.
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Hey, we're back in the studio.
We've said goodbye and farewell to May.
So we gave him a big hug.
We said, you bloody nailed that, sir.
How fun was he?
Little pat on the bum.
He's so funny. So funny. So said, you bloody nailed that, sir. How fun was he? Little pat on the bum. Oh, he's so funny.
So funny.
So funny.
Every time I- It took me way too long.
Oh my God.
That is so appropriate on this episode when I was talking over Mesa all day, but um, so
we just talked over you then.
But yeah, it took me way too long to figure out to shut the fuck up and let Mesa be funny.
You were quite sick at that point.
Oh yeah, right.
So you- just the fact that you showed up, were able to sit upright and power through was impressive to us.
Yeah, my head was muddled.
Yes.
I remember that.
You were not well.
But, you know, not contagious.
Certainly not putting anyone at risk.
That's right.
It was an inside of the brain problem.
And like a cold.
You've washed your brain there now.
But we didn't get it.
So yeah.
A couple weeks have gone past and we are good.
Hey, so this brings us to everyone's favourite section of the show where we get to thank
some of our great supporters.
And if you want to be one of these supporters, go to patreon.com slash do go on pod.
Some of you might have skipped through the episode so you won't know what we're talking about. supporters. And if you want to be one of these supporters, go to patreon.com slash do go on pod.
Some of you might have skipped through the episode, so you won't know what we're talking about. Maceo was a great guest.
We did a live show in Melbourne and it was a whole lot of fun.
Dave talked about presidents of America being silly.
Doing funny little things.
Just having whoopsies.
It was fun and the crowd were great and we met some great people after the show as well,
which is very, very nice.
Yeah. Thank you to everyone that came along.
We really appreciate it.
So the first thing we do here, if you have signed up on patreon.com slash to go on
pod, if you're on the Sydney Scharnberg level, you get to be involved in the fact
quote or question section, which has a little jingle go something like this.
Fact quote or question.
Ding.
He always remembers the ding, she always remembers the sing.
What a beautiful harmony that was.
That felt so good when we stopped at the same time.
I really think it'd be fun to do this live one time.
Do like- I'm shy.
I don't like to sing in front of people.
So, no, I won't be doing that.
We'll have this bit pre-recorded.
Yeah.
By which I mean the whole section.
We'll sit there in a live audience and be like, that was pretty good, wasn't it?
Can you believe their name is weird?
Weird name.
Speaking of very good normal names, first up we have Paul Mellor.
Was Paul at this one?
No, Paul was at the first week's one.
Yes, that's right.
So he gets to give us a fat quote or question or a braggart suggestion or really whatever
you like.
You also get to give us a title or give yourself a title, I should say.
And Paul's title is Head of St. Kilda Football Club Supporters Group, Oldham Branch.
Oh, an important branch.
It's a growing branch.
Yes.
Up 100% over the last few years.
It's fascinating.
Love your work up there, Paul.
And I was loving to see you again while you were down in Melbourne celebrating your birthday.
Also getting to see the Saints lose a game, but also do go on Winner podcast.
That's right.
One of our hottest live EPs.
It was. We really turned it on for you, Paul.
And under the-
You're welcome, Paul.
You're welcome, Paul. That was for you.
This might be the first one we've got here under this category,
because you can do a fact quote, question, break, suggestion, anything you want.
Yeah.
Paul's gone with thank you.
Oh, I don't think we have had enough thanks.
Exactly. Not enough.
You know when everyone-
First of many, I hope, Paul.
Everyone cheered and clapped at the end of this episode.
Not long enough.
Not enough.
Not enough.
Paul writes, Hi guys, I just wanted to thank you for making my big 50th holiday a trip of a lifetime.
I'm two days back now and into work and the
last three weeks are a real blur. I can honestly say you guys changed my life
for the better." Wow. That's very cool. My goodness.
It is a crazy journey. It started by listening to a random podcast, Weekly
Planet, and hearing Matt on there that led to me listening to Do Go On. Becoming
a Saints member was my pandemic hobby.
That and your life specials kept me sane. Appearing on the St. Kilda episode was an absolute
honour. People who listened to the fourth hour, maybe the fifth hour of that episode would
have heard Paul telling us about his journey with the Saints while he was walking his dog.
While he was rambling.
He was rambling. He was rambling through Oldham.
What a lovely moment.
To think this has led up to me to taking my family to see you live in Melbourne is another level.
You guys were my daughter's first ever live comedy show too.
Swiftly followed by Dryer Dryer.
Wow.
Thanks for sparing the time to talk for the shows.
I talk after the shows.
Obviously we talk during the shows. That's yeah, it's a to talk for the shows. I talk after the shows. Obviously, we talk during the shows.
That's yeah, it's a big part of the show.
During the show, we usually set aside 55 to 60 minutes for talking.
Yeah.
That's the same for the dry dry.
There's certainly an element of mime.
There really is.
Back to St Kilda.
On our trip, we ended up going to visit RSEA Park in Moorabbin,
which is the old home ground in Moorabbin, which is the old home ground in Moorabbin,
to see the actual 1966 trophy and caught the Saints training.
We managed to get to see them play live at Marvel Stadium,
which was one of the things I really wanted to experience.
I guess I had the ultimate Saints experience
as the team lost the game, but played really well.
They also won the games either side of the one we watched.
This was so typical of me not to see a win.
The positives are my family really enjoyed watching the game. I think I may have some company at home when I watch from now on on TV.
Oh, the olden branch is growing.
Yes. I also now have to come back to see them do a win.
Do a win is great. Great English.
Next time you might have to come for seven or eight weeks. Yeah, make sure you assume do or win. That's right. Do or win. That's great English. Next time you might have to
come for seven or eight weeks. Yeah. Make sure. Make sure you, I said do or win. We
had a blast in Victoria though. It was a beautiful place from city to coast to mountains, wildlife,
coffee, pies, beer and vineyards. We have it all. I think we sort of do. Victoria's got
a- Victoria rules.
Got a bit of everything. That sounded sarcastic, but I mean, I was born here, but I still live here for a reason.
I do like it here.
You're free to leave at any time.
I could go and I've been asked to.
You've been offered jobs in other cities.
And I say, no, no, no, no.
None of the above would have happened if I hadn't chosen to listen to Do Go On.
So thank you for all the excellent podcasts and community. It has grown. All the best, Paul." Well, thank you very much, Paul.
What a lovely message.
Well, you're thanking us, but you're just saying it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't
taken a chance on a podcast. So that's on you and your fantastic decisions that you've
made.
Well done.
To lead you down this silly little path.
We applaud you.
So nice, Paul. It was great to chat to you and to have you there.
And I'm so glad you had a great trip.
Yeah, that's so nice.
I really appreciate you writing in and filling us in on all that.
Although I was, yeah, I was around for much of it.
Um, not the vineyards though.
Bit too much of it.
Bit too much of it.
Where was the invite to the vineyards?
Yeah, that's what he needed a fricking break from you, mate.
Hey Paul, hey Paul, where are we going today, Paul?
What's on the plan for us, the family?
She's just hiding in a vineyard.
I love you, Paul.
My dad's name's Paul and obviously...
It gets confusing, yeah, yeah.
It does. I forget which one of them's...
My daddy.
My dad, Paul.
Both love a vineyard.
The other one, we just got two this week.
The other one comes from Patrick J. Early, brackets not late.
And Patrick's title is collector of names and under fat quota question, et cetera.
They've written submission.
Oh, okay.
Question mark.
Okay.
What's it going to be like an essay?
I don't want to read it.
It looks longish.
Have to put it through turn it in.
I don't want to read it. It looks longish.
I'll have to put it through eternity.
Hello mates and a special hello to AJ,
whose help I might need with this one.
In my job, I'm exposed to a lot of names.
Do Go On has given me a strong appreciation of a great name
from the multitudes we've heard in reports,
as well as every single Patreon member
having an amazing name brackets fact
Agreed over the last few months
I've been assembling a list of truly great names that I've come across at work
Just to look at every new and then to cheer me up if I'm having a rough day
That is amazing
I'd like to share some of those names with you three because I'm certain you'll love
them too.
But because I don't know these people and I don't have their permission to share their
names in a public forum, I'd like to either ask AJ to edit out the names as they're read
or for you guys to just read them silently and appreciate them out loud.
Maybe this is totally impractical and won't work in the edit.
In that event, here's a dumb joke to include instead.
What do you do if you see a fireman?
Put it out, man.
All right, here are the names.
Put a comma in there.
I reckon, what do you...
I reckon AJ, maybe you bleep part of the names. Leave the funniest bit in and bleep part of it so that it could be anyone.
Yeah.
I think it's even funnier if we bleep the whole name.
Yeah.
We're laughing in a- okay, okay.
F***ing Hill.
F***ing Cloppers.
F***ing Bruce.
F***ing Jealous.
F***ing Junkers.
It's just a series of- F***ing Junkers. It's just a series of B*** Junkers.
It's just gonna be a series of B***.
Halifoff Renfri.
K*** De Champeau De La Ballu.
Oh, that's nice.
G*** Ringing.
And F*** Zass.
F*** Zass.
I think they're all fantastic.
Beautiful names.
Lovely.
I especially loved the third paper.
Jealous has got a great rhythm.
What was it?
You're junkers.
Junkers?
That's fantastic.
Yeah, hopefully these names have brought you some joy.
I'm going to print them off into a little list and just look at them whenever I'm feeling a bit down.
We'll frame them and put them on our wall in the office.
And he also said, and for the listeners, hopefully our Golden Trio's reactions have brought you some joy.
Stay safe out there, folks.
I don't listen back anymore, AJ.
If you just didn't edit them at all.
Yeah, I won't know.
Oh, I know but Patrick will probably get on to us.
Just one more.
I just got to go back one more time.
De Champeo de la Boulay is pretty good.
Yeah, it's very nice and the pronunciation was fantastic.
Perfect.
Thank you so much to Patrick and Paul.
The next thing we'd like to do is shout out to a few of our other great supporters.
Jess, you normally come up with a game based on the topic at hand?
Yes. So this and obviously we're recording this at a different time.
So I've forgotten everything.
This was about presidential.
Yeah, that was the one that was attacked by the rabbit.
There was Bill Clinton, had a haircut.
Expensive haircut. Yes, that's right. Someone like Christ was Bill Clinton, uh, had a haircut. Expensive haircut.
Yes, that's right.
Someone like Christoph.
Christoph.
George Bush copped a shoe.
Oh, yeah, something you'd throw at a president.
Because there was a list of things, of things thrown at politicians.
So it could be, yeah, object you'd throw at a politician.
Object they threw at a politician.
All right, how about this?
Just for efficiency, we did this recently, Dave, while you're away.
I just read them all out and I did all the names.
Matt was actually incredible.
I know word of a lie.
He just sort of closed his eyes.
He just blanked out the rest of the world and he was coming up with some great stuff.
But maybe Jess, you and I can go one for one and Dave can-
Would you be up for coming up with nine objects?
OK, OK, yeah, yeah.
But just like, well, you know up for coming up with nine objects? Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah.
So I understand.
Just like, well, you know, you have your own process, but for Matt, it was really about
clearing out that busy mind of yours.
Shutting everything else down.
Toot toot.
All that stuff is gone.
Gone.
I had to shut all of that out.
Somebody was shooting at him.
You closed the freeway.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm up for that.
So these are just things, Dave.
Yeah.
So you kick us off, Matty.
You can throw out a president.
OK.
Yeah.
From, and do you want to come up with a president as well?
Or just the thing?
Just the thing.
Just the thing.
OK.
Oh, just so complicated slightly.
I'll read out the presidents in first order from current
and then you say the thing that you're gonna throw on.
So Jess, you do the name.
Okay.
I'll say the president, Dave, you tell us the thing.
Okay, so from Tempe, I think Arizona, I assume Arizona.
It is, ooh.
Tempe?
Tempe, no, I think it's Tempe.
You're right.
I could be wrong.
Is there a Tempe in Australia?
Maybe.
And that what I'm thinking of? Anyway. This process is more efficient, I can tell. You're right. I could be wrong. Is there a Tempy in Australia? Maybe.
Is that what I'm thinking of?
Anyway.
This process is more efficient, I can tell.
Yeah, definitely.
I'm clearing the mind. I'm clearing the mind.
I don't even have your help.
Please think.
Sue Sudio.
Sue, Sue, Sudio.
And Dave, what are you throwing?
What is Sue Sudio throwing at Joe Biden?
I'm not sure if this is the right album, but they're throwing their signed vinyl of
No Jacket Required.
Wow.
From Phil Collins. Not sure that-
Frisbeeing it.
Yeah.
That could really hurt.
That could do some damage.
And also, you're like, oh, can I have that back?
Yeah.
That's signed.
Escorted out by the Secret Service and taken away to prison.
But you're like, can I also have my favourite Phil record?
Would the value go up or down after hitting a president?
Oh, it'd definitely go up.
If you could get it back and it's the one that hit the president.
Yeah.
And they didn't get hurt.
But it was just an interesting thing that we all saw on the press conference.
He carries around a record shaped gash for the rest of his life.
Skye.
All right, who's next, Poppa?
Next, I would like to thank from Bald Hills in Queensland, Will Runting.
Oh, my God, that's a great name.
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump just copped a bag of onions.
Oh, that's good.
Full bag.
What a game.
Do some damage.
From Eden Prairie in MN, Minnesota.
No, we always forget.
Eden Prairie, Tatum Langley.
Tatum Langley.
Barack Obama.
Barack Obama just copped a boxing glove.
Oh, that's good.
Minnesota.
Punching you from afar.
I don't know.
I think so.
Boxing glove, Pift.
Pift.
God, we don't say Pift enough.
Bring back Pift.
Yeah, Pift is great.
And that Tatum Langley is throwing that boxing glove.
Yes.
Incredible stuff.
From Dulwich Hill in New South Wales, please, thank Ange.
It's one of our favourites here.
George W Bush.
George W Bush just copped a snorkel.
Mask and snorkel.
Get me with a snorkel once.
Can't get snorkel again.
And still wet.
It's still wet.
They just used it.
From Bellevue in New England, I'm also guessing, NE?
Nebraska.
Nebraska, New England, Jessica.
From Nebraska.
New England makes sense.
It's confusing, because that's across a few different states.
It's an area rather than a-
I know.
I was like, that's not a state.
Anyway, from Bellevue.
I thought it was a state until like a year ago.
Nebraska, Mary Langham.
Mary Langham is hitting Bill Clinton with a fresh haircut and-
And a cup of sugar.
Oh, neighbour. Very neighbourly.
Have a cup of sugar on me.
From Peterborough in Great Britain, Abigail Robinson.
George HW Bush.
Oh, George HW is copying a snowboard.
Miniature. Wow. copying a snowboard miniature. Wow.
Miniature snowboard.
Again, that was gonna.
So there's only one president between father and son.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Really?
How funny.
That's impressive.
From Wynum in Queensland, Laura Jones.
I'm talking Ronald Reagan.
Ron, Ron, Ronald.
Ronald Reagan.
Ronald Reagan is getting-
Something's gonna trickle down onto his head.
OK, what about a cheeseburger?
But the cheese is overflowing
either side of the burger.
Very cheesy.
And it's landed on his head.
He hasn't noticed and it's starting to trill down.
Oh, melted cheese.
Onto the crown.
Oh, that's gross.
From London. He's the Burger King now. We're not doing the crown. Oh. That's gross. From London.
He's the Burger King now.
We're not doing the puns yet.
From London in Great Britain, it's Luke Stroll-o.
Or up to Jimmy Carter.
Jimmy Carter.
Well, it's going to be the hook and doodoo.
He was also the rabbit one, wasn't he?
Yeah, he was the Jimmy Carter rabbit incident, but he was actually copying not a rabbit,
but a small tortoise.
Oh, God. Okay. So the tortoise is okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Jesus, that seems like that was nearly terrible.
Who throws a tortoise? A small tortoise.
Who throws a shoe? Who throws a tortoise?
Yeah. Yeah, I value them the same.
And from Orlando, Florida, Joey Gordon.
Through something at Gerald Ford?
Gerald Ford? He copped an unopened box of Monopoly.
Oh, that would be pretty heavy.
Yeah, if it's still wrapped.
Yeah. That'd be holding, you know.
Yeah. That won't fling apart.
All the cards, the board, the pewter pieces.
If it gets copped the corner of it.
Yeah. Ow. Ouch.
Hello, Homer.
Do you like beer and nachos?
So that's everyone, thank you.
Joey, Luke, Laura, Abigail, Mary,
Ange, Tatum, Will and Sue.
Sudio.
Which I believe is not their real name.
I don't believe it is, but it's pretty fun.
Yeah, looking at their email address.
It's not their name. There's a lot of, it's nowhere near their name. Yeah, but it's pretty fun. Yeah. Looking at their email address. It's not their name.
There's a lot of, it's nowhere near their name.
Yeah, they've got a pretty boring name.
I'm never going to believe it.
What?
It is from No Jacket Required. Right, Reckon?
Fantastic.
I, you're right. I will not believe that.
I was never going to believe that.
I will never believe that.
Thank you so much to all of those great supporters.
The last thing we need to do is welcome in five new members to the Triptych Club.
Dave will explain this.
Succinctly? Succinctly.
Now, basically this is- Succinctly.
This is our theatre of the mind, our shout out hall of fame to people that have
already supported the show on the shout out level above for three consecutive years.
And basically, we want to thank them again and then trying them in this Hall of Fame.
We welcome them in.
They can grab a drink from the bar.
They can go see a number of live music acts.
There's pool. There's a pool.
There's a spa. There's a sauna.
There's whatever you want it to be.
There's air hockey, but don't touch it.
It's mine. Yeah, that's Jess's.
OK, yeah. She shot under.
No, I've de-iced it again today because I keep fricking forgetting.
He keeps putting ice on it.
Well, I thought it was a mini ice hockey table.
But it's air hockey and he doesn't understand the difference between ice and air.
And honestly, I'm sick of explaining it.
Well, I don't understand.
I know you don't. We breathe ice, right?
Oh, just move on.
I'm breathing ice all day.
And basically once you're in, you can never leave a while, would you want to?
And no one's asked yet.
And we welcome in a few new people every week.
That's basically what we're going to do now.
Jess, you always prepare food, drinks.
Yeah. What have we got behind the bar?
Well, because this one was like US presidents.
So I thought let's lean in.
And I've made a bit of like a charcuterie grazing
board out of things that are red, white and blue.
Oh, that's nice. That's really classy.
So I've got like blue lolly frogs. I've got little peppers that are stuffed with blue
cheese.
Oh, I actually love that.
So that's got a bit of white and blue in it.
Yeah.
I've got yogurt. I just smeared some yogurt on it for dipping. No. Um, I've got tomatoes, apples, um, ice cream, green, no red apples.
Oh, okay. That makes sense. Oh, okay. I've got blue correct cracker here. Just in little
shot glasses. Oh, you got the star of Big Bang Theory.
Yes.
That's awesome.
So, yeah, it's pretty fun.
It's pretty good this week.
I actually feel pretty good about it.
That's fantastic.
And Dave, did you say you're booked a band?
I have booked a band and you're never going to believe it.
I've just checked the emails.
Yeah.
I've just got an email back from a manager from a band that broke up in 2015.
They are reforming just for this and you'll never believe who's here.
You're only confirming this day of?
Yeah.
Dave, that is very unprofessional.
Is this the Presidents of the United States?
It is.
It is the Presidents of the United States of America, the band.
Oh, okay, sorry.
Sorry, not the band.
So not the President's band.
I was asking a different question.
Obviously Abraham Lincoln.
Yeah.
Thomas Jefferson.
I was surprised.
I thought they broke up before 2015, but yeah.
No, but this is the President's United States of America.
Just got back saying, yeah, we'll do it. See you tonight.
Awesome. Little blue doom buggy.
Yeah, they'll be playing all their hits.
Lump.
I think Lump made number one here.
Am I remembering that right?
That's big. Number one here.
Maybe it didn't. It felt like it was, to me, it was like a huge hit.
Peaked at 11 in Australia. Oh, double one.
That's what you're thinking. Twice as good.
So we've got five inductees. I'm standing at the door.
I've got the guest list.
If you hear your name read out at home, jog on in.
I've lifted the velvet rope.
Make yourself at home, grab yourself a red one, blue,
and get ready to enjoy the work of the
Presidents of the United States of America.
The way this works is I'll read out your name.
Dave's up on stage.
He's going to hype you up with some weak wordplay.
Jess will hype him up.
And then, yeah, once that's all happened, the after party Presidents hit the stage and we party all night long.
All right, here we go.
First up from Amersfoort in, I think, the Netherlands,
it's Nicole Rolink.
Dave, can you say all of that again for me, please?
From Amersfoort in, I don't want to be a bit of a virus there, from the Netherlands,
it's Nicole Rolink.
Oh, am I doing that too? I thought you were going to do my job.
Oh, OK. Roll on in, Nicole.
Make yourselves at home.
You're our missing link to make this party a start.
That's fucking great, man.
That's really good stuff.
But now I'm confused of who's doing what.
Yeah, sorry. But let's keep it going.
From Pitsfield in, what, Massachusetts?
MA? Look that up for me.
It's Joe Martin.
Hey, Joe.
Marton in and have a good time.
That's good. Massachusetts.
Great, great, great. You're the fact checker.
I'm the hype person as well now, apparently.
OK, great. From Cor Peru in Queensland.
Look that up, Jess, is that correct?
It's Alexandra Munster.
Oh. Alexandra the Great.
Hey, you know, Munster, you're my star.
You are a star, though, of this show.
Welcome in.
Oh my God. This guy's on fire.
Yeah. You're not stirring the pot.
You're making the pot feel nice.
The problem is he just keeps going.
But what's stirring the pot? What does that one mean?
Munster.
Oh, OK, great, great. OK, great.
You're not Munster in the pot.
Yeah, no, it's good stuff.
God, even Jess thinking about that's bad.
From Sydenham in Victoria, it's Ben Spitlar.
I just did a Spitlar take because I'm so surprised and thrilled.
Stop there, because that's good. That's enough.
That's good. Stop you.
Because Ben's here. Yes.
Done. No, no, no, no.
From Godstone in probably Surrey in Great Britain, it's Zander Bryce.
Godstone, God-San-Zander Bryce.
Yeah, that's enough. You make me feel nice.
Woo!
That's enough mate, thank you so much.
Thank you again to Zander, Ben, Alexandra, Joe.
Zander, have a Gander.
Jess, that's enough.
And Nikol from the Netherlands, of course, thank you so much.
Thank you so much. Now, that brings us to the end of the episode. Obviously, the presidents are about to hit the Netherlands, of course, thank you so much. Thank you so much.
Now, that brings us to the end of the episode.
Obviously, the presidents are about to hit the stage, so we need to wrap this up so
we can enjoy that.
Play Lamp.
We will.
We're probably closer to that. It's our biggest song.
Fuck off.
Jess, anything we need to tell people?
That if you would like to suggest a topic, you can.
You don't have to be a patron.
Anybody can. There's a link in the show notes.
It's also on our website, which is dogoonpod.com, which is where you can find information about
live shows, tours, our other podcasts that we do.
And you can find us at Do Go On Pod across all social media, baby.
Hey, I can't wait to come back next week with another fantastic episode.
But until then, I'll say thank you so much for listening and goodbye
B'LATER
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