Doughboys - Buffalo Wild Wings 3 with Johnny Pemberton
Episode Date: April 11, 2024Johnny Pemberton (@johnny_pemberton, JohnnyPemberton.dog) joins the 'boys to talk video games, health, and bidets before a review of Buffalo Wild Wings. Plus, another edition of Slop Quiz.Wat...ch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/sports/longterm/olympics1998/history/timeline/articles/time_020394.htmhttps://www.oregonlive.com/history/2024/01/tonya-harding-nancy-kerrigan-story-broke-30-years-ago.htmlhttps://www.biography.com/crime/tonya-harding-nancy-kerrigan-attack-photoshttp://www.fundinguniverse.com/company-histories/buffalo-wild-wings-inc-history/https://lovelettertocolumbus.com/buffalo-wild-wings-weck-yeah/https://www.buffalowildwings.sa/our_storySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This was James Disbro chairman of the US figure skating Association's
International Committee in a February 2nd statement that cleared Nancy Kerrigan to compete in the 1994 Winter Olympics on
January 12th a male assailant had struck Kerrigan on the leg with a police baton as she departed practice
The attempt had been on her landing knee, but the attacker mistakenly hit her thigh, sparing her the career-ending injury allegedly
intended. Two days later, the suspect, Shane Stant, surrendered to the FBI, and the ensuing
investigation quickly centered on Kerrigan's chief figure skating adversary, fellow US Olympic team
member Tanya Harding. While Harding was never proved to have advanced
knowledge of the attack, her husband Jeff Galulli and security guard Sean Eckerd admitted to hiring
Stanton as uncle to debilitate Kerrigan to advance Harding's career. Kerrigan would persevere and
win the silver medal at that year's Lily Hammer Games while Harding, still permitted to compete,
placed eighth. Later, after Harding confessed to taking part in the cover-up, though not the crime, USFSA
International Committee Chairman Dispro banned her from the sport for life, an ignominious
end to an otherwise accomplished career.
But Dispro's capable crisis management of the most notorious scandal in ice skating
history while the whole world watched may only be his second biggest accomplishment.
Because he's also the founder, along with partner Scott Lowery, of a Buffalo wing-focused
chain restaurant with nearly 1,300 US locations.
In 1981, Disbro, who had previously lived in Buffalo, New York, was judging an ice skating
competition at Ohio's Kent State University when when he and friend Lowry noticed an inability
to get quality wings in the area.
The next year, they launched a wing joint concept,
savilly positioning the eatery
near the Ohio State University.
Their deep fried bird collab would grow to massive scale
over the next four decades,
helping to expedite the rise of the chicken wing
as a national cuisine.
In recent years, the Tonya Harding scandal has resurfaced via dueling documentary series
and the bizarrely cast and painfully unsubtle film I, Tonya, and an ineffective fictionalization
of a much more interesting factual reality.
So much more interesting, in fact, that a central figure in the scandal was also the
founder of Buffalo Wild Wings. This week on Doughboys, we return once again to B-Dubs.
["Doughboyz Theme Song"]
Come on!
So it's the Doughboyz!
Doughboyz Doughboyz!
["Doughboyz Theme Song"]
Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants. That's a scary sight.
You?
I was trying to do a thing.
So for our audio listeners, I'm pointing my thumb and forefinger at the camera.
What is the movie where the person does that?
It is like kind of-
Taxi driver?
Is it taxi driver?
Yeah, probably taxi driver.
That's what I'm thinking. You talking to me? It's 100 a taxi driver. Yeah. Probably taxi driver. Yeah. What I'm thinking, it's a hundred percent
taxi talking to me.
I'm saying, I'm saying, isn't there, isn't
there another one where like, is it like a
creepy guy who does that and like, yeah.
Taxi driver.
It may be taxi driver.
Taxi driver.
Taxi driver.
Yeah.
Welcome to no boys applied guests about chain
restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger along with my cohost bowhost, Bowels Moving Asshole, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.
Well, that works today.
Fitting for today's topic.
That's from Sawn H., pronounced Sawn.
Hey, Doughboys, after hearing the recent
My Neighbor Totoro roast, do you remember that?
Yes, I think I do.
I don't know. Do you remember what it was? It, I think I do. I don't know.
Do you remember what it was?
It's like slower Totoro or some bullshit.
Yeah, my neighbor, Doutoro, some shit like that.
Yeah, I think the one was comparing me to like Totoro, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, I like Totoro.
It's probably pretty nice, honestly, comparatively.
It's a great comparison.
Yeah.
He's a very lovable figure.
My coworker and I came up with some more Miyazaki-inspired
roasts.
It's the dumbest thing we've ever done.
Shout out to Steven Andrews for co-writing these.
Yeah, you got to shout out your co-writer
for Bowels Moving Asshole.
Co-writer?
That was definitely a co-lab.
All right, here are a few more.
This is like how Marvel movies are
written by like five people.
This roast is written by two guys or two people.
I don't know who it is. I've done some punch up on some movies, by like five people. This roast is written by two guys or two people.
I don't know who it is.
I've done some, um, some punch up on some movies and you get a letter from the
WGA, uh, with all the people who worked on it.
That's like, just please stop doing what you're doing.
That's it.
No, it's, it's funny.
Cause you'll get like this, you'll be working on a movie and it's just like,
this is a comedy that sucks that no one likes.
And then there are like 36 writers who have
all worked on this movie.
And then ultimately the only people who get
credited are like two or three people, but
like so many, so many people took a pass at
this thing.
Yeah.
Um, and it just, and it just sucks.
So waste of everyone's time as these
roasts are bowels moving ass.
Don't talk that way about disaster movie.
I, man, I wish I worked on disaster movie.
I would love to work on a spoof movie.
I've never been given the honor.
That's like a fair game for anything, spoof movie.
Yeah.
Yeah, just a punch, it's all punch up.
It's all punch up, it's all jokes.
It's a whole thing.
Used to be.
Should I read these alts?
They took the spoof movies away from us, why?
They don't even exist anymore.
They don't make them anymore.
Well, you know why?
You can't make that.
You can't make that anymore.
You can't make a spoof anymore. You can't make that anymore. You can't spoof things anymore. Yep. You can't make them anymore. Well, you know why? You can't make that. You can't make that anymore. You can't make us spoof anymore.
You can't make that anymore.
You can't spoof things anymore.
Yep.
You can't spoof things.
You can't.
You can't spoof anymore.
You can't do it anymore.
Epic movie?
You can never make that today.
No.
Vampire Suck couldn't make it.
Yeah, yeah, couldn't make it today.
Apocalypse Now?
Never make that today.
They're actually are remaking it.
Oh, they are remaking it?
Yeah, no, see, that's what he's saying.
He's saying, Apocalypse Now, you can easily remake that.
Oh, that one you can remake. Yeah, that's what you's saying. He's saying, Apocalypse Now, you can easily remake that. Yeah, you can.
Oh, that one you can remake.
That's what you can't do.
Yeah, scary movie, no way.
Scary movie, no.
You can't make that today.
But like, not another Apocalypse Now you could not make today.
Because that's the spoof of Apocalypse Now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, it doesn't exist.
You should, I mean, I'm saying, not Apocalypse Now,
you should bake.
Yeah, I could.
But if it was made back in the past.
If it was back in the day, I could make it.
You couldn't make it now.
Oh, okay. Wait, so the rule is, so I can make it in a spoof movie? No was back in the day, I could make it. You couldn't make it now. Oh, okay.
Wait, so the rule is, so I can make it in this movie?
No, you couldn't make it not, you couldn't do it.
Apocalypse then.
That's good.
That is good.
See, these movies are all punch-up wives.
They had a bunch of alts here.
It's spirited McKay, like spirited away, okay.
Spirited McKay, what is, what it was?
Like, I think it's supposed to be like,
like it's supposed to be like Mickey, like the spirited Mickey, okay. Spirited McKay, what is, what, what? I think it's supposed to be like, McDonald's?
It's supposed to be like Mickey,
like the spirited Mickey, like the reference,
that's a deep cut.
Oh, yeah, sure.
Hmm, that should've come later.
That should've come later, yeah.
Well, we don't know if the ones after this are worse.
Squintchess Mononoke for Princess Mononoke.
Okay, yeah, no, that maybe came in the right spot.
Rascal in the Stye for Castle in the Sky.
I don't know why you don't just do asshole again there.
I don't know why you would list bowels moving.
Oh, I get it now.
I just got it.
I was trying to write one, I was like,
oh, bowels moving.
It should have been just, yeah,
I guess bowels moving asshole is the right thing.
Bowels moving asshole off of Howl's Moving Castle was,
that is correct, you did a good job with that one.
I think maybe just don't show your work.
That is correct.
And send all the alts.
Yeah, no one wants to see the alts.
Send the selects.
That's like, look, a DVD, the bonus features on a DVD,
I like seeing what else they got,
but in this scenario, I don't want to see the.
All.
Should we paywall just this chunk of the episode?
Just the alternate roasts go on Patreon only.
Roastedbirdfuck.com.
Why is it a bit of tummy trouble this morning?
Yeah.
And a bit of, I've been dealing with some, I've been since like October, I got sick
and I was like, I got, I got like since like October, I got sick and I was like,
Sick with how?
I got, I got like what felt like a flu or cold,
and I tested negative for COVID.
And then I told people on here where I was,
you got something in your tooth?
I ate an apple just before we started.
Uh-oh.
I got like some apple.
He's got something in his tooth it seems like.
Yeah.
No, I was trying to work on it while I knew we were in your single.
So I was like, okay, I'm off camera.
I saw you tongue in that corner of your...
You couldn't finish the monologue though.
I couldn't finish my monologue.
Sorry for distracting you.
This is like if Jay Leno was going and then Kevin was over there
and he was picking his tooth, you know what I mean?
Like Jay's gotta check in on Kevin.
Hey, Kevin, what's up over there?
But Jay should know better to not talk to Kevin
because he's picking.
He's recognized it, he's like, okay, I'm going to keep the camera on me.
Keep talking, OK?
Kevin's like, OK.
Kevin's like, oh, so in the news right now,
a lot of people are pissed about the weather.
They're angry about the weather.
And we're back to Kevin.
Back to Kevin.
Oh, that's crazy, Jay.
Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Kevin, what are you thinking about the weather. And now we're back to Kevin. Back to Kevin. Oh, that's crazy, Jay. Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
Kevin, what are you thinking about the weather, Kevin?
Oh, oh, you know?
Oh.
I think in Jay Leno's mind, he's probably like,
what's going on with Kevin?
Did something happen at the baked potato where he performs?
Right, yes.
Kevin will play at the baked potato.
He will?
He, Kevin will.
Kevin is a good musician. He is a great. He's an amazing musician. He will? He, he, he, he, Kevin will, Kevin, Kevin is, Kevin is a good musician.
He is an amazing musician.
He's a phenomenal jazz guitarist.
He's a, what you call a professional musician.
Yeah.
That's something that tonight show.
I'm not gonna find if he was bad.
Yeah.
He's like, yeah, we just like him so much.
He's just, he's not the best.
No, him and Redford Marsalis before him
is the, the Jay Leno band leaders,
incredibly accomplished jazz musicians.
Kevin's Country we've talked about,
we like Kevin's Country.
Love Kevin's Country.
Kevin's Country.
Kevin's Country is... Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do So let a one-man show guy. Do you watch Leno? Do you watch letterman instead of?
I was more of a letter meeting out here or Leno guys
Mitch play your drop so we can introduce our sure officially ever hit him with a drop. You know what?
2024 no come talk No cum talk. Cum. Cum. Cum. Cum. Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
Cum.
No peaking.
What the hell?
Howdy ho.
No peaking.
What the hell?
Howdy ho.
Mr. Spikes.
Mr. Spikes.
Dear Lord, Mr. Spikes. Mr. Spikes. Mr. Spikes.
Mr. Spikes.
Dear Lord.
Little Final Fantasy 7 there.
Yes.
One winged angel.
One spooned angel.
Yeah, that's the music, right?
Yeah, we're hitting anime, we're hitting video games.
Very weeby to start the show.
What's weeby? Oh, very weeby to start the show.
What's weeby? Oh, I don't know what that means.
What's weeby?
Is that a new word?
I think it's not a new word at all.
No, it's been around for a bit.
Just someone who's like really, yeah,
it's kind of like a westerner who's like a little too
into like Japanese culture.
So it's not like Chugi.
Chugi's new.
No, Chugi's not.
Chugi I think is new.
Yeah, Chugi's its own thing.
Or a weeb, is that?
Weeb, yeah. A weeb, right? Yeah, weeb. Like you're a freaking weeb. Youugi, I think, is new. Yeah, Chugi's its own thing. Or a weeb, is that? Weeb, yeah.
A weeb, right?
Yeah, weeb.
Yeah.
Like you're a freaking weeb.
You like anime and manga and video games.
Got it.
I don't know if I've ever heard that term, truly.
Well, there you go.
Weebae, a character on The Wire.
I remember Weebae.
I do like Weebae.
Weebae's a good character, yeah.
Good character, yeah.
Do you remember Weebae from The Wire?
No, I only watched the first season.
Yeah, I know.
I gotta watch it, I gotta watch it.
People tell me I gotta watch it.
You don't wanna be those guys that you gotta say
you gotta watch it, but why?
You gotta watch The Wire. You gotta watch The Wire.
I was gonna say you did, you know,
you see the first season, you get it.
What the hell, really?
I mean, it's all good, it's good TV, it's excellent TV.
I would say treat yourself and watch The Wire,
cause it's a great show,
but like if you've seen the first season of The Wire,
you know what The Wire is.
You have a sense of it.
Wire's up there for me with
Mad Men and Sopranos.
Well Sopranos to me is.
Yeah, that's S tier, that's number one, yeah.
That's the greatest thing I've ever made I think.
Yeah, yeah, movies included.
Yeah, honestly.
I love it too.
Did you credit the dropper?
Hi DK, hey DK and Mitch, okay.
Just the two of us saying hello to.
It's been roughly one month since
Final Fantasy VII Rebirth came out
in roughly two months since the episode
Mitch said, No Come Talk in 2024.
With Come Talk at an all-time high.
I'm just reading the email.
Ha ha ha ha!
Made a mashup of the two in honor of the one
spooned angel, Mr. Slice.
Enjoy?
Question mark.
Thomas, Lee 10 Tickles in the Discord. Thanks, Thomas. Lee 10 tickles in the discord.
Thanks, Thomas.
Drops at birdfuck.com.
By the way, didn't I specifically solicit a roast on a previous episode, or a drop rather,
on a previous episode?
I was like, hey, make this into a drop.
Yeah, I think you did.
Have we gotten that drop yet?
I don't know if people really listen to you in that way.
It was an episode that's out, right?
Yeah, no, it's out, but also that's such an easy way
to get a drop play, get your lazy dropper,
why you're literally handed it to you.
I can make a drop.
I hate lazy drops.
You could absolutely make a drop.
You could make a drop if you wanted to.
I'll make you one.
I would love to have a celeb drop on the show.
That would be great.
I'll make a drop.
Wow.
I'll do it.
Wow.
It's funny because I felt bad
as you were sitting through the drop.
I felt bad.
And you're a comedian who gets...
I'm a come guy.
Yeah.
You're a come guy.
Yeah.
I've worked with come for years, so it's not a big deal for me.
And even then you felt bad.
I felt bad even after all of that.
Yeah, we come up together.
That's true.
Yeah, we've come up together.
We come up together.
We come up with all kinds of things.
Our guest today, an actor and comedian
who you can see as Thaddeus in the new series, Fallout.
Wow.
Now streaming today, April 11th,
as of episode release on Amazon Prime.
Johnny Pember did his back.
Johnny, thanks for being here.
Thanks for having me back here.
What a treat, what a joy.
Is that the premiere as the 11th?
Is a resale?
It's out today, yeah.
Yeah, all episodes too.
Pretty good on our end. We're usually really bad with that. I think this is out. It's out today, yeah. Yeah, all episodes too. Pretty good on our end.
We're usually really bad with that.
I think this is great.
It's dimed out nicely.
I'm just, I'm happy for us that we did an okay job.
Sorry.
You guys definitely did it.
We did it, we did it.
It was definitely you and not tons of emails.
Wait, where did you shoot Fallout?
We shot it mostly in New York. We also went to Namibia for a couple of weeks. Whoa.
We went to Utah for a couple of weeks.
Wow.
Yeah.
Utah must be beautiful, right?
Yeah, but we were in this place called West Windover,
which is two hours east of, towards west of Salt Lake.
Oh, yeah.
It is, it's a bad spot. We went to Salt Lake. Oh, yeah, it is it's a bad spot
We want to Salt Lake City and I thought Salt Lake City was was nice, but two hours two hours
You know two hours outside of Salt Lake City, but you drive through literally nothing you drive on a road that it's like
You know when you people say go to the bathroom now because you don't have to stop. There's no place to stop.
There's not a single place to stop at all for like two hours.
Cause you're driving through these salt flats.
Damn.
Yeah.
That's no point though.
It's supposed to look apocalyptic.
Sure.
If you need some salt though.
Yeah.
It's right there.
It's right there.
You're in your pocket for it.
You can sweep it up off the ground.
It sounds like a great part of the country to listen to Kevin's
country as you're driving, too.
Da, da, da, da, da.
You've already said you don't know this.
It was the end of the show, so I'm before Conan.
So sometimes you would catch the end of it before Conan.
I'm guessing you were a Conan.
Were you let him in and then switched over to Conan guy?
How it was both?
I don't think I watched them maybe on air all the time.
Yeah, yeah.
But I definitely watched Conan.
Conan was like, you know, but I definitely watched Conan.
Conan was like, Conan's like your friends.
You watch it with your friends,
because my parents don't watch Conan.
We watched Conan, because it's like,
was the coolest thing ever.
So I don't remember exactly.
That was so long ago.
Yeah, I know.
My mom and dad, yeah, I don't think they watched Conan,
but they went to a taping with me.
I was pissed that they wouldn't watch Conan.
I was pissed they didn't like the stuff I liked,
you know what I mean?
That sucks, man.
It sucks when your parents don't like the same things you do.
I know.
That's all you want as a kid.
It's like the opposite.
My parents like something, they're like,
I don't like that anymore.
Right.
I'll be like, Ma, Pam Anderson, isn't she hot?
And my mom will be like, she's okay.
I was like, what the fuck?
She doesn't make you want to jack off?
And my mom just wasn't.
I prefer Sophia Loren.
Of course you do.
Heidi Klum.
Yeah.
First of all, another friend of the show.
Yes.
Zach Cherry is in this show as well.
Oh yeah, right.
Yeah, Zach and I did a show together too.
Oh, hell yeah.
Zach and I did a show together for a whole season of a show.
Wow.
Wow.
That nobody really saw, but it was an NBC show together too. It was that kind of show together for a whole season of a show. Wow. That nobody really saw,
but it was an NBC show, yeah.
That's wild.
You wanna shout it out?
I feel bad.
That's what it's called.
There you go.
I feel bad.
Yeah.
It was a fun little show though.
It was good.
I'm very excited to watch the show.
I can't wait to see it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We were talking a little bit about the Fallout games
before Mitch arrived, and I know you kind of like get
with these kind of open world games with just like,
it sounds like you kind of get overwhelmed
by the aspect of like you just can grab,
go anywhere and pick up anything.
The collecting.
Yeah, right.
Like having to manage like a backpack or a purse
or like when you have items, I always have trouble with any
games where you have tons of items. I get like, I don't want to throw something away. I don't want
to hold on to it. Yeah. I have trouble with those games for sure. And then you're in the end game
and I've got, well, I've got like, you know, 200 high potions I never use. Like I'm fighting the
final boss. This was what, what did I do any of this for? Yeah. I've gotten better at, and a lot
of this was, was via Baldur's Gate 3,
but like, you know,
but other games I played in recent years,
I'm just like, you know what?
I get a consumable, I'm just gonna fucking use it.
I'm not gonna hoard all my fire arrows.
I can just shoot a goblin with a fire arrow.
You know, you've been training this podcast
quite a bit like Get Played recently.
Your video game podcast.
Oh, oh.
I don't think I've ever been so concerned about your digital clutter in a fucking video game.
I got too many potions in my back.
You play video games, Mitch.
And you're also a guy who's obsessive about being a completionist.
So you're included in this conversation.
What games are you like? Those type of games though?
I do. I like follow and also fall out.
Got to give it credit here.
Visits Quincy, Massachusetts.
Right.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
It does.
There's, there's a section of fallout that goes to Quincy.
What's that say about Quincy?
I think that it's, uh, what a, how could a beautiful city fall into such disrepair?
Like,
Right.
Yeah, it's definitely that.
Right.
That's like, cause there's all these, these mutants in the fall Fallout universe and they get to this one block of Quincy and they get this
one block of Quincy in this one house and they're like, oh, this basement has a, has a cum golem.
How are these, how are these mutants so mutated? Wow, what's wrong with them? They're so mutated
more than other ones. Oh, they're drinking the cum. They're drinking all this basement cum.
Vast reservoir of cum.
First of all, if I had a crim, Gollum,
crim is the word we're using in place of cum
because we've said cum so much.
I'm not sure I feel about crim.
You like flesh crema.
Creme, I think, is good.
I like any word that is not the word.
Yeah.
Like I used to say the word jazz instead of jizz.
That, I like that.
That's a best phoma, yeah.
All right, maybe I'll go with jazz.
Like, oh my God, I'm covered in jazz.
I'm about to jazz all over the place.
Oh, Kevin, what's going on over there?
It looks like you're about to jazz.
Can you guys see my jazz in your shit?
I like how J-Lo has become Butters or something like that. Or what's the character?
Yeah, it's Timmy, right?
Timmy? Timmy, yeah.
Yeah, Timmy Leno.
Hey, hey, sorry, hey, hey, Timmy,
you got a little bit of jazz in your shit?
Timmy, hey.
You guys hear about Cartman?
Have you heard about Cartman?
Put me a jazzy car.
By the way, wait, do I what?
No, like when you play one of these games,
you hoard stuff, I imagine.
I do hoard stuff.
You can't not do it.
But I was gonna say, when you said,
I call jizz jazz, I immediately thought of
the Star Wars music jizz.
Sure.
What?
So I thought you were referring, in Star Wars,
there's music that's like jazz,
and they're all jizz.
The most nicely canteen of like,
No it's not.
It's the truth.
It's called Jizz.
It is in the Star Wars Encyclopedia,
which I had as a kid.
The music that the modal nodes,
was the band in the Cantina plays.
The, da da da da da da da da da.
Exactly, yeah.
So that's a Jizz band.
It's called Jizz.
And I've told this story on the podcast before.
Oh, it's not?
It is, it's canonically Jizz.
So didn't someone like slip that in there
and no one bothered to check?
Probably George Lucas was like,
oh, that's how Giz sounds right.
I like to Giz.
I think it should be Giz.
Is he originally called Giz Jar Banks?
If you were like, you're going overboard.
Giz Jar Spunk.
This is Giz Jar Spunk?
God, I can't believe that.
I've told the story on the podcast before,
but there was a kid in my middle school band and orchestra
got sweatshirts and you got to write something custom.
So I'd get my hooded sweatshirt
and it'd say Nick Clarinet.
And this one kid who was into Star Wars got his, and it was like, oh, like the music.
And so he got one and said, Steven Jizz Whaler.
And he had that on a school sweatshirt.
Which is the term.
The canonical name, if you play the style of Jizz,
you are a Jizz Whaler.
This is like way too, I love Steven,
I love George Lucas now.
Yeah.
Like Jizz Whaler?
Yeah.
That's like, I wouldn't come up with that name in a million years, Jizz Whaler.
Right.
The Whaler, by the way, I told you I saw the Whale sequel, Whale Rider the other day.
Goes in a different direction.
Goes in a different direction.
We love the Brendan Fraser movie, The Whale.
I don't know if you've seen it where he jacks off.
He's kind of a Jizz Whaler himself.
He is a Jizz Whaler himself. He is the original Shy Halood. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha minute, I was 20 minutes late. Yeah. Uh, I was dealing with some. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You were, you were Mitch.
I was dealing with some, uh, tummy troubles. Yeah.
Last night.
So I, I, I've been sick since, since, since
I got sick in October.
Okay.
I'm starting to figure out that I think
that it's very sinus related wise on that end.
Interesting.
Yeah.
And so I'm, I may get a sinus surgery.
I don't know.
Wow. So that, yeah, but, but like get a sinus surgery. I don't know. Wow.
So that, yeah, but like, I have like heavy
brain fog every day.
It's been like bad.
It sucks.
But a lot of times the two things that
they say is your stomach or your head.
But the issue is, is I also have stomach issues.
Those are.
You say stomach.
Do you mean bowels or do you mean stomach, stomach?
Uh, like, which I know we share this in common.
It's very much a, it's, it's like's very much an IBS sort of scenario,
which is like when I've gone to the doctor,
that's what they've said.
I mean, this is disgusting, but like,
so suddenly I have to go to the bathroom very suddenly.
Yeah, sure.
Diarrhea.
Yeah, oftentimes it will manifest itself as that, yes.
It will manifest itself as that, yes.
It will manifest itself.
Shy Halood will manifest itself as diarrhea.
By the way, before we get further into this disgusting topic,
it was very cute because Jemmy was waiting for you.
She like hopped up next to your regular spot
before Uncle Mitch arrived.
It's that sort of thing of like, if I died,
it's like Jemmy kept sitting in that chair every day, even though he was gone.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
Mm hmm. I mean, other podcasts recording in here.
The fuck is this dog doing here?
You won't leave.
It just smells so good.
You would replace me with some.
I mean, I'm sure Gaber's or somebody would be in this chair.
I mean, the joke would be in that chair.
Yeah, it would just be Jimmy. Jimmy would be co-hosting.
No, the joke would be because I could swap out someone else
in a heartbeat and no one would notice,
but that's not the truth.
If you were not around to do the podcast,
we wouldn't do the podcast.
It's very funny a thing that our listeners do,
which they don't do with you as much,
is that they'll be like,
who would be the replacement for Mitch if he left?
Don't anticipate Mitch's death. Yeah, don't wait for me to, uh, like, who would be like the replacement for Mitch if he left? Don't anticipate Mitch's death.
Yeah, don't wait for me to, don't be, yes.
Well, or maybe they're saying like you would be,
be, your acting career would be so,
you'd be such a busy actor that you wouldn't time your podcast.
Oh, yes, oh my god.
Oh, that's, I know, that scenario is very likely.
You're right.
There is some sort of scenario where I'm...
You're doing great. You're thriving.
Sure, sure.
You can never be too busy for a podcast, though.
That's, that is kind of how I feel.
That's the unfortunate reality.
That's what Jason Bateman has taught us.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Lessons from Smartless.
One of the many lessons of Smartless is you can never,
you can not, you can never be too, I think that is,
I think that is, I think that is, I think that's true.
I think that is true.
Okay. So, so we talked about this last time
you were on the podcast, but like,
and you can say exactly what your condition is,
whatever you wanna share about it,
but you have some gut issues of your own.
Yeah, I had an ulcerative colitis for years,
and I had my colon removed about 20 years ago.
That's right, you tell us that, yes.
And now I have pouchitis, essentially.
Pouchitis.
Which is essentially just ulcerative colitis
of the J-pouch, which is like sort of the internal,
I mean, it's a long story essentially,
but yeah, I don't have anything,
I'm complete now.
I'm like, you know, I'm all, I poop out of my asshole.
There you go. Hey, there you go.
That's pretty great.
And I have nothing inside of me that is not flesh.
Hey, okay.
So I don't have like any appliances or anything like that.
But, uh, I did have a colostomy bag for a few months.
Wow.
You did.
Yeah.
For what?
Cause there's two surgeries.
That's wild.
You have a two-part surgery.
I talk about this a lot in my show, Minnesota reggae colostomy bag, which, uh, I've
been doing on and off, but, uh, yeah, I had a colostomy bag for about three months, I
guess, because it's a two-part surgery. So you have, you have to heal up while this thing inside you, the J-pouch, heals.
While that heals, you have to have the clostomy bag.
Got it.
Yeah.
Wow.
I can't even imagine you've been through the ring, because when it's hellish for me, it's
extremely hellish, and I can't even imagine, because that seems a billion times worse.
Well, you have IBS.
It's different.
Yeah, yeah, okay, all right, yeah. So IBS is irritable bowel syndrome and I had
something called ulcerative colitis which is
considered an inflammatory bowel disease, IBD.
Got it.
So they're different, IBS is, I mean not to,
not to belittle your problem.
No.
It's typically related to stress or allergies
and not so much like an endemic disease type thing.
Allergies again, is very interesting
if that's what's causing it.
I mean allergies, it could be like
you need to stop eating dairy,
it could be like a weird thing
that your body doesn't like
and you don't know it until you do like a
super reductive diet, which is, you know,
it's the hardest thing in the world.
Yeah, and just-
A combination diet.
And just imagine like, just hypothetically,
let's say the person who's suffering in this condition
hosts a fast food podcast.
Yeah, I can't imagine how you'd possibly have IBS.
I just can't, you know, it's one of those things
where there's no Venn diagram where those intersect,
because they are overlapping completely.
That's why.
It is, like, in my mind, I'm like, you have,
and when it would be torturous for me,
I remember Bugman, you know, our friend Bugman.
Our friend Bugman.
Our good friend Bugman.
We were pitching a show, me and Bugman,
and Jack and Armin.
His Bugman name shall not be known.
Is it still?
I mean, I think people know who he is.
If you know, you know. If you know, you know still? I mean, I think people know who he is.
If you know, you know, if you know, you know, you know, if you're one of the true
heads, you know, yeah, the people, people for sure know, but people will still be
like, it's Armin, you know, they'll say it's Armin.
I'm saying like bug main and Armin, but yeah, we, we, I don't know.
What is that?
I mean, are you kind of doing it?
Am I doing an Andy Kaufman Zimuda thing there?
Right.
Yes.
And RWK kind of thing.
Yeah.
Is that what you're doing?
Yes. Um, what? I don thing. Yeah, is that what you're doing? Yes.
Um.
What?
I don't, again, the real one's no.
Bugman does like to party.
Isn't that what Andrew WK is all about too?
That's true.
Well, which Andrew WK?
Uh, that's a good question.
Great question.
Look, even I confused, even, even I confused,
I mean, even I confused right now?
Yeah.
What did you just say?
Even I confused right now?
Why I don't know?
Why I not know this?
We would be pitching, we would be,
I remember we were like going to like some agency
to pitch this
show that we, the bullshit that is horrible and I don't even do anymore.
Right.
But we went to this place and I like was an IBS moment where we were in the car driving
there.
Oh, for sure.
Cause you're nervous.
And yeah, there was some nerves and I honestly though, it wasn't even like, I, like I wasn't
that nervous about it, but.
Well you think that, but your body's telling you. Your body's making me.
Yeah.
Well, keep going.
Well.
I'll explain it.
I was driving there and I was like, oh god.
And I felt it coming on.
And it was the sort of thing where they'd be like,
do you want to think about it?
Shut up, just don't talk to me.
And then I got there and I had to run upstairs
into this big agency and there were all these people
and I was like, hi, how are you?
Where was the bathroom?
And I went in and like, shit, my brain out. It was, it was, it was horrifying.
It was. She felt good after that. I felt great. I mean, you should have seen me in that pitch.
I was going left and right and singing jokes, getting up, walking around the table.
But right beforehand, I was a sweaty mess. Yeah. You had the diarrhea boost.
Sometimes it does boost you. Oh, it does.
Once you get it out of you, it does feel like a...
I do feel like that's where I felt the most like a power up in a video game is after something
like that's happened.
Yeah.
That's a power up.
That's an often unused power up is, would you like to diarrhea now?
Not enough games have pissing and shitting.
Let's be honest.
Press B to diarrhea now for a health boost.
I think a lot of games don't have enough pissing and shitting.
Zelda, you eat, you sleep, you're not going to see, you know?
Link's pissing and shitting is implied.
It's when you save your game and power off your Switch.
That's when he's like taking a very...
It's like, oh boy, you, you're gonna take a big old shit.
Or is that what it means to be an elf
is you take one shit once a year?
Like one like just incredibly cosmically dense shit?
That's where you go on your exojourn or something like that
is to drop this mega, like it's like a black hole
that comes out of you.
And if you're playing for 14 hours straight,
yeah, or something.
He's been holding it the whole time.
He's been holding it the whole time.
He's having a battle of Octoroks.
Yeah.
You know, some sword he picked up.
Let's stop talking about shit.
Let's stop talking about shit.
Okay.
Let's stop talking about video games.
Let's stop talking about cum or jazz,
as I like to call it now.
Before we stop talking about shit,
what's your favorite color shit?
I'll go with green, it's the funniest one.
Ooh.
I think you just want a nice brown shit, right?
Yeah, I mean, that's what you want,
but what's your favorite one?
Like a nice brown shit.
Okay, okay.
Taupe.
Taupe is fine.
Taupe's good.
Taupe.
Taupe is a good, that's maybe the right answer.
Sort of a chalky taupe.
Chalky. I want like a shit that looks like it could be like,
you could make an executive's desk out of it.
You know what I mean?
It's like that nice rich wood.
Like a mahogany.
Yeah, like a mahogany.
With some veining.
Some prominent veins that show the character of the tree.
Exactly, right, right.
Some history.
So you want almost like one that's like, you're not even fully hydrated. Prominent veins. Which show the character of the tree. Exactly, right, right.
Some history.
So you want almost like one that's like,
you're not even like fully hydrated.
You want one that's like kind of like,
you're half hydrated.
Wee, I mean, I think I want it to feel healthy.
Like it's like, oh, this was like a healthy expungement.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ooh, expungement, that's a good word.
That's a good word.
It is a good word.
I've been using it a while.
Also, is it a word? It is now. It is, I think it works for me. You can say expungement, maybe it's exp good word. That's a good word. It is a good word. I haven't used it in a while. It's expungement. Also, is it a word?
It is now.
It is, I think it works for me.
You can say expungement, maybe it's expungement.
You know what, it binds America.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
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gift card. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
Mitch, how is your social battery right now?
Is it drained?
Bursting with energy?
Wags, it needs a recharge.
I think I need to plug in,
charge that battery up a little bit.
That's how I'm feeling, I'm just being honest.
Well, you know, it could be for reasons
like not enough boundaries or you're just less social based on what time of year it is. We just being honest. Well, you know, it could be for reasons like not enough boundaries,
or you're just less social based on what time of year it is.
We just did an episode of Doughboys. It's probably a part of the reason.
That can be part of it.
It can be easy to ignore our social battery and spread ourselves thin,
especially with social gatherings picking up after the winter.
What's the right amount of socializing for you, and how do you recharge?
Maybe you thrive around people, or maybe you need some time alone
What's the right amount of socializing for you? Why I guess that's my question to you
Because it's I think very little it depends on the situation
Yeah, sometimes both of us. I think need that recharge when we're done
Yeah, sometimes you need some alone time don't we all therapy can give you the self-awareness to build a social life
That doesn't drain your battery, you know, Wags, every time I do therapy,
I feel like a better person.
I get the gunk out of my head.
Like we say, hey, you go for a walk, you feel better.
You get some sunshine, you feel better.
Therapy, I feel better every time after I do therapy.
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So with all this said, with your diagnosis,
with what you're dealing with and living with,
you chose Buffalo Wild Wings.
This was your pitch.
Yeah, it was a mistake.
I just, it was almost immediately a mistake
when I was ordering, I was like, oh God.
When it came out, I was like, oh, this isn't good.
This is like gonna be rough.
Why did you choose Buffalo Wild Wings?
Because I thought it'd be fun.
Yeah, sure. It's kind of funny. I guess I, it thought it would be fun. Yeah, sure.
It's kind of funny.
I guess I took-
It is funny.
It is funny.
You know you forget, you make a mistake,
like you say yes to something and you do the thing,
like, oh, I don't want to do this.
Yeah.
But you forget.
And so you do it like once a year,
you make a mistake, like saying yes to some,
some sort of thing you don't want to do.
Yeah.
I feel like that's what happened with this,
where I forgot that ironic eating is not very fun.
Sure.
Especially at my age.
Yeah.
Oh yeah. Being here, it would be fun if I was drunk or something like that, but
I think I was the only sober person in there, for sure.
Going with a group of friends and having some drinks.
It's funny to me, my thought about Buffalo Wild Wings is that I liked it a lot back in
the day.
I did like it.
I think it's a fun spot.
I think it is fun.
It is a fun spot, but also it's that sort of thing now where we've talked about this
with chain restaurants where I'm like, oh, I guess I wouldn't be surprised if in five
years Buffalo Wild Wings declared bankruptcy, which is like, I mean, I think that it does relatively well,
but I'm just saying like chain restaurants are so weird now,
especially post COVID that I just never,
and like the places that are like successful
are like weird ice cream shops or like acai bowl places
that open up and then they go out of business in three years.
It's either the, you know, it's the issue
with Buffalo Wild Wings.
I think Buffalo Wild Wings.
I think Buffalo Wild Wings is doing better
than other chains in its sector, but it's like,
it's the issue with the Chili's, the Applebee's,
the TGI Fridays of the world.
It occupies the middle of the market
in an era of increasing income striation
and where you have people who are just like-
Striation.
They want the cheapest stuff.
They want the fast food chains or pizza delivery places,
burger shops, Taco Bell, that's what's thriving. And then also like higher end stuff,
but the higher end stuff for people who have the money to spend, that tends to not be chain
restaurants. So like, yeah, I don't know if... I know Buffalo Wild Wings has receded a little bit,
but because of the pandemic specifically,
because it's such a dine-in experience.
Yeah, it's a social spot.
Yeah, and there's an interesting contrast between like,
I don't know where else in chain restaurants
this is the case with number one and number two,
but like the other big wing chain, Wingstop,
has a completely different approach to it.
Yeah.
Like it's not a dine-in experience, it's a to go.
It's basically like you're going to a Papa John's storefront.
Or Domino's.
Or Domino's, yeah.
And they're just handing you the thing
and there's barely a dining area at all.
You're pulling out a bunch of words.
It's like a word summit in here.
You're introducing me a bunch of words.
I, uh.
What words were you just introduced to?
A word summit?
You said expungement, he said the one earlier.
Spreation, spreation?
Yeah, spreation. All this shit, you know what I mean?
I love it.
As a fan of language, I'm going nuts over here.
Hey!
Yeah, I love this stuff.
I love language.
I'm going nuts for these words.
Hey!
I'm liking it, Wags.
I like what you're doing.
Hey, TikTok, you got a word for me?
Hey, TikTok. Hey, TikTok, you got a word for me? Hey, TikTok.
Hey, I love words.
Hey, TikTok.
Hey, I'm gonna open up this synonym of your book here.
Whoa, what's that word?
Holy shit.
I'm Willie Wordsmith.
Give me a word, I wanna hear it.
Honestly, I think it would probably be the most,
if I did that, it would be the most success
I've ever had online with any-
If you do like, hey TikTok, I like words, but I don't know a whole lot of them.
What do you got for me, TikTok?
Hey, hey TikTok, I'm Mike Mitchell.
I like words, I don't know a whole lot of them.
But I know a whole lot, I'm trying to learn more as I get older.
My friend Nick knows a lot of words.
Sometimes when he says them, I'm like, what? And then just like having submissions for new words and then I'll make a video of the
new word.
That's a great concept.
I think it's a pretty fun concept.
Do it.
I'll give you my favorite word right now, my favorite big word.
Somnambulant.
Somnambulant.
Oh.
I don't even know if I know that word.
I just want to tell you that there is a couple
of people over your shoulders.
Wow.
Sean Clements making a threatening gesture.
And then Arden Marine, our good friend.
Arden Marine being very friendly.
That's a big, cheery wave. And then, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh Okay, I gave a gentle gentle Casey's Casey's getting chewed out by not name. This is like Letterman right now Casey. Yeah
friend of the pod
We got close these curtains from now on I didn't know they were coming in here if I knew the Hollywood Handbook guys
Were coming in here those curtains would be closed. I would not
We not
Menacing yeah, they're very menacing just Sean just looked at me just now He looked at me like like what are you gonna do about it?
That's fucking bullshit. You know we're gonna do about it. Nothing. Yeah, we're staying here. Hey Clemence
You know Clemence come over I'll show you
He's walking away, you know we're gonna do it we're gonna get a curtain for that door
You know what we're gonna do? We're gonna get a curtain for that door too,
so that we can block out the Hollywood Handbook guys
completely.
I think you should do that, Willie Wordsmith.
I think that's fun.
Some nambulant is-
I might have to give you some-
Underneath the tongue.
Underneath the tongue.
No, it's like sleeping, or like sleepwalking.
Ooh.
Like you're in a sleepwalking state.
What maybe you think underneath the tongue?
Because it sounds like sublingual.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Sublingual.
There's another word that's good.
I've been using a lot lately, trying to use it, but I never use it right.
Oh, I know what it is.
It's...
Is it good?
No, I can't remember.
Is it jazz?
It's jazz.
It's jazz.
It's the type of music they play only in space.
Oh, it's called cum rock.
No, it's called Cum Rock. No, it's called Rock and Cum.
I can't think of the word.
I was a word a day guy.
I had a word a day calendar.
And I was trying to up my vocabulary.
But you know what?
Now I just don't.
I don't.
I've given up on it.
You ever seen the word toilet paper?
Ooh.
Wait, what is the,
oh, is it toilet paper that has a word on it?
It has like words on it.
That's fun.
You can learn words while you're going potty.
That's pretty good.
I would be, I would know so many words if I had that.
I would be like speaking a different language.
How did you learn French?
Well, I got this French shit paper.
And I just, you know, I'm going to the bathroom a lot. So.
I got, see here's the thing.
I have a bidet now.
Oh.
And so I'm just, I would have to just be reading this.
I mean, I, you still do use some toilet paper with a bidet.
You have a bidet bidet?
I have a bidet bidet.
Like a separate thing.
I do not have that.
No, I don't.
So that's not a bidet.
Sorry.
That's why I asked if you have a bidet bidet.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
I have, I have a, I have a bidet seat.
Yeah. I have a, specifically a bidet, bidet. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I have a bidet seat. Yeah.
I have specifically a Toto Washlet is what I have.
Have you considered doing like the right thing
and having a separate one?
Like having like a, you know, like a French home?
Those are always confusing to me because I don't,
like you waddle over to that and then you wash your butt.
I guess so.
I don't like it.
I don't like it either.
The bidet in toilet is great.
And I know you have one too.
Oh yeah, no, I also got the total wash.
There's some of those things at Costco now.
We're in an era of bidet ascendancy,
which I'm in favor of.
By the way, I'm gonna say this.
And by the way, I also have a Tushy.
By the way, I also have a Tushy.
Oh yeah, we love Tushy.
Who sponsors the show. I have a total wash upstairs, a Tushy. By the way, I also have a Tushy. Oh yeah, we love Tushy. Who sponsors the show.
I have a toe to wash it upstairs, a Tushy downstairs.
A Tushy is, they're like a...
It's like an attachment.
Attachment.
You can go on any toilet seat.
Like a wand?
It's like a similar as a bidet seat,
but it just goes under the seat and it's easy.
Yeah, it's mounted.
It's easy to install.
It's cheap and it's very functional.
It's great.
So if you want a clean asshole, go to tushy.com,
promo code doughboys.
That is true.
They did advertise it at one point.
But I have a fancy one upstairs, which is a Christmas gift.
A Christmas gift from who?
It was a Christmas gift from my sister.
OK.
That's a sister gift.
It's a sister gift.
And it was like a big gift, but...
A toilet.
Well, it still attaches to your toilet.
So it's like a seat, but the seat opens by its own.
It opens up on its own.
Yeah.
But I use way less toilet...
Yeah, you use way less.
It does.
It opens up.
It's ready to take in your meal.
If you think of a toilet...
Oh, Jesus Christ. If you think of a toilet. Oh, Jesus Christ.
If you think of a toilet in the human way of eating.
Oh!
Which we've talked about before.
Yes, yeah.
If a toilet eats shit, then it's opening up,
ready for its first.
Time to feed the baby.
Do you say that when you take a shit?
Let me eat what you once ate, master.
Mike walks in there, locks the door. Time to feed the baby.
Ha ha ha ha.
Is baby hungry?
Ha ha ha ha.
Oh, god.
I'm hungry.
I'm starving.
Wah, wah, wah.
I didn't solve baby cries into the bidet.
Oh, my god.
This is disgusting.
That's sick.
Oh, you thought you were getting shit today?
No!
Even worse!
You just took the worst thing and made it even worse.
Jazzing into a baby's mouth.
Feeding...
No, now hold on!
Mike Mitch feeds infants... Willie Wordsmith. Hold on! Mike, Mitch, Feeds, Infants,
Willie Wordsmith
Oh my god
Don't try to connect that to me
Oh my god
Oh my god
I don't think you're allowed to do that on YouTube
Oh really?
We'll blur it out
You can't do the motion?
I don't know, that's as close as he can.
You're just playing Yahtzee.
Give, baby needs a new pair of shoes.
21 baby, 21.
It would be appropriate if we, and if you were the one who shut down our YouTube it would be fault.
Oh it's my fault.
I mean it's not your fault.
Oh it's my fault. Okay.
I use way less toilet paper now. Yeah, it's my fault.
Yeah, naturally, yeah.
And so I would have to just read the words
before you wipe out nice mahogany over the word anyways,
which is not a, which is, you know.
By the end of the day,
there should be no mahogany on the, right, yes.
Yes, you're right.
But it cuts down your toilet paper use by,
I mean, like it cuts in, I would say more than in half.
Like I use so much less toilet paper, it's incredible. And it is, so in a way, probably
good for the environment.
I've got to switch. I don't know why I haven't done it yet.
It's worth trying out.
I think you would love it.
I've used them before. I don't know, something about that-
I mean, they're so not American, none of us were raised using one.
Right.
You know, like I didn't, and I, even when my mom got one,
I was like, that's where I first started, was my mom.
I think it's the computer aspect of it.
It's like, I don't want to shit on a computer.
Yeah.
Because it's like, you get like,
maybe shit splatters on the computer.
So I don't want to have to clean the computer.
Yes, I mean, it is, it's done very well.
The front lid is very cleanable in the back.
You got one. Yeah, I just mentioned it. Yeah, I got very cleanable. And the back, you got one.
Yeah, I just mentioned it.
Yeah, I got a TOTY washlet.
I thought you were-
But I'm going wild in there.
You know, I've got like, it's wild.
It's Buffalo Wild down there.
It's nuts.
So it's like-
I would say there's more cleaning involved
than a normal toilet with a normal seat,
but it's a similar amount of cleaning.
It's not like, oh my god.
They're pretty good.
Then there's a lot of built-in stuff to keep it sanitary.
Yeah, yeah.
It cleans it.
You'll hear it.
It's cleaning itself every so often.
So you'll be in another room and you're like, eeeh.
And you'll hear this and you're like, what the hell is going on?
Wait, what's it do?
Does that mean it's hungry?
Does that mean the baby's hungry?
Is that the sound a baby makes when it's hungry?
Yeah, there'll be times where I don't even
have to take a shit, and I'm like, all right,
if the baby's hungry, I gotta feed the baby.
And I'll go in and feed the damn thing.
I'm all out of shit and piss, guess I have to feed it
something else.
Give daddy some time.
He's got to make the food.
This is hell.
Daddy can only make one meal a day.
Sir, we have to ask you to leave the plane now, sir.
I'm sorry sir, but you have to, we're going to have to
scorch you off the plane.
Why?
I bought a plane ticket.
You telling me I can't do this?
You're telling me I can't feed my baby
in the bathroom here?
What, I'm in first class.
Buffalo Wild Wings was founded in 1982 in Columbus, Ohio.
They're just under 1,300 locations in the US.
A first reviewed-
1,300?
1,300, yeah.
It's a huge sprawling franchise.
And that's just in America.
Worldwide there's more.
It's first reviewed in 2015 on the podcast
on episode 19, very early on with our buddy Matt Selman,
our chicken correspondent,
got in the Golden Plate Club back then.
We had a lovely time.
He wants, we're gonna do another chicken correspondent.
Oh, it's in the works.
We're gonna figure that out.
Yeah.
Last reviewed in 2020 with Leslie Lee III,
where we all hovered around three forks,
but that was also a deep quarantine to go experience,
which is not what the Buffalo Wild Wings experience
really is.
We should remark on the current mascot situation.
Really?
Because they have now-
Beck Bennett.
Beck Bennett is the voice of,
past guest, the voice of Hank the Buffalo with wings.
He's who got that.
Oh, he's the fucker who got that.
Yeah, OK, yeah, give it to him.
Sure, sure.
I was watching like it was during a Patriots game,
and I watched it, and I was like, that buffalo sounds like Ben.
And then I saw him a couple of weeks later,
and I was like, are you the buffalo guy?
And he is.
He's the buffalo.
He's the buffalo.
Yeah, I'm the Buffalo guy.
I can't do a question.
Yeah.
Yeah.
How you doing?
He is a very bro-y, he's a very bro-y Buffalo.
That's the way it's characterized, yeah.
You know what?
Good for him, I feel like it's a-
No, that's who it was.
When I was reading, it was like,
oh my God, I'm a Buffalo, you know, it's like,
it's like, no, we don't want this baby in here
doing Buffalo.
Were you doing the feed the baby thing?
That might've been a bit.
Yeah, I was doing that.
Actually, that was me.
If it makes you feel better, I didn't even see,
this wasn't even on my radar,
I didn't even sniff the Buffalo Wildswing commercial.
Oh, I think it's like, I do that like once a year,
I'll get like a VO for commercial VO.
That's great. I'm not, I'll get a VO for commercial VO. That's great.
I'm not, I think I'm good at that.
Unless, you know, I am, I'm actually great at it.
I'm great at it.
Accomplished voice actor, but commercial stuff is different.
I think you would be a great voice actor.
I am, I do voice act, but it's like,
the commercial stuff is, it's a different world.
It's a different thing, it's more technical,
more like, you have to be,
you have to say visa like a thousand times,
and so you hit it with like, visa.
Right.
Like it's so specific and they want you to,
because it's like this brand that's so important.
Yeah, they're really particular about like pronunciation
and cadence and all that shit,
and getting language exactly right.
You know, it's not sponsored by it,
it's presented by those sorts of things.
You have to say it in a way that, like, everyone who hears it thinks,
oh, this is, I like that, that feels good.
Do you know what's funny about just commercials in general?
We've talked about this before.
But, and also I'm happy for Beck,
and I think that, like, as a voiceover,
I love that guy.
You should do it, this is great.
I'm saying, Lost in Translation is a movie where it's like
this guy is like in Japan having to do,
just this thing of back in the day of like,
big stars, like big Hollywood stars don't do commercials.
It used to be a thing.
And that's like the basis of what Lost in Translation is,
right, he's like over there doing commercials.
But they do them in foreign countries though still.
They still, yes, yeah.
They still have like, but that was the thing is like,
you wouldn't do an any actor worth their, you know, whatever.
If you're a big American actor, if you're a movie star,
it is beneath you to do advertisements.
And so if you're going to do that,
you would have to have a phenomenal payday
and go to a foreign country.
And then there'd be like a Cartier watch ad
with like Brad Pitt that would only be in Taiwan and you'd be like oh holy shit
look at this but you'd never see it in America now it's just like everyone does
everything it doesn't fucking like biggest stars in the world are just
which I think I think there should be some shame brought back to it so shame
on you Ryan Reynolds I'm shaming when I see it I'm like right yeah why is I mean
it is mostly Ryan right I feel like Ryan Reynolds is in every commercial.
Yeah, shame on you Ryan Reynolds,
unless you want to come to the podcast.
Yeah, then we'd love to have you.
We're sorry, we'd love to have you.
We'd love to have you.
Welcome to Wreck-Em, sure.
Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Oh, yeah, it's great. We use it. We use it. I tried to do Memo, but it's so good.
I can't have it.
It's too good.
It's too good.
It's too good.
It's too good.
I was on my phone too much,
because the connection was so strong.
I'm trying to get off of this thing.
That's what I meant to say.
Yeah.
I was on my phone too.
Ryan.
Brian.
Brian.
Ryan.
Seriously, we'd love to have you on the podcast.
Ryan, how's Blake?
We'd love to have you on.
How's Blake? She's cool.
Blake seems cool.
I love the Shallows.
The Shallows was good.
Love the Shallows.
That movie you did with the swords,
I forget what it's called, but it's so funny.
So funny.
Like, it's like you.
That's improvised, right?
It has to be.
Oh, it was improvised.
It was definitely improvised, yeah.
For sure.
Yeah.
Oh, I think- You think someone wrote this stuff? No, it was improvised. It was definitely improvised, yeah. For sure. Yeah.
Oh, I think I think-
You think someone wrote this stuff?
No, it was fucking improvised.
I think everything he's done has been improvised.
I also, by the way, I heard radio DJs talking about
Ronald Reynolds, like,
Ryan Reynolds has just become a billionaire
and the morning DJs were like-
Oh, really? Today?
No, this is like a few months back
and then the radio DJs were like,
that's awesome, man.
That's like how you do it.
Like get your-
Secure the bag, man.
Yeah, secure the bag.
I was like, why are you happy for Ryan Reynolds
becoming a billionaire?
Who gives a shit?
Get in that bag.
Gotta get that bag.
So Buffalo, so the Buffalo Wild Wings I went to
was in Westchester.
It's in a shopping center with a Cinemark Theater
and a Dave and Busters and an Islands. It's like, this is like a place people go to like hang out in Westchester. It's in a shopping center with a Cinemark Theater and a Dave and Busters and an Islands.
It's like, this is like a place people go
to like hang out in the area.
It's like, it's, it's one of those,
all these big chains are here, including,
and I texted this to the group chat.
There's, there's now a chain we reviewed last week,
a fucking Oakberry.
Have you ever had Oakberry?
I've never even heard of that.
There's an Oakberry on this block.
There are 600 Oakberries in worldwide.
What is it?
There are going to be a thousand by the end of the year.
It is a, it is an acai berry chain.
Oak berry.
Oak berry that started like in 2016
and it's just grown exponentially
and is everywhere now.
It's become ubiquitous.
Well, well, well, we'll kind of,
we'll cut through the,
can we have here a wordsmith?
I think cut is good.
You should have said-
We'll slice through this.
Hey, how about an English science guy? I think cut is good. You should have said- We'll slice through this.
How about an English science guy?
Hey, we'll cleave our way through this.
Hey Shakespeare, how about a different language?
We'll cut through the clutters.
Like, you know what I'm saying?
Yeah, sure.
We'll cut through the brush here.
You don't have to go to Oakbury, it sucks.
It's bad.
Okay.
It's an acai bowl place, it's bad.
It's bad, we had a bad experience.
We had a bad experience, it's not good.
And I don't even know if it's making money
or if there's just so much money behind it.
Get in a acai bowl at Pest Juice.
Yeah, or I could just make it at home with blueberries.
There you go.
There you go.
They're better.
Anyway, I went to solo mission,
I went for lunch and I sat at the bar,
this place was empty.
Buffalo Wild Wings was one of those places
like I don't even know why they're open during lunch hours.
I think it's purely for sports.
I guess so, but during the week,
you're lucky, my March Madness, I'm sure,
the thing's blowing back. Yeah, I guess my March Madness,
or like a day baseball game or something.
NHL playoff, baseball.
Sure, yeah, yeah, there's probably reasons
for it to be open for lunch during on a weekday.
What reason the ESPN zone was flourished at its time?
Anyway, there was nothing going on there.
And so I sat down and the bartender was Jonathan,
who was a champ, gave me a hey buddy, said buddy a lot.
And I was like, wait, does he know the podcast?
No, he just says buddy.
Yeah, he just says buddy.
That can just be a thing that someone does.
You like that when someone calls you buddy?
I do.
I do it to other people.
I hate it.
You hate it?
I hate it when someone I don't know calls me buddy.
It almost seems like they're making fun of you
in some way or something.
I like sir.
Yeah.
I like sir.
Or just anything other than buddy,
cause it's like, I'm not your fucking friend.
I don't know you.
If I know a person, but if someone at like,
I don't know, the Delta counter is like,
what can I do for you buddy?
It's like, what? You know, we're not, we're not, I don't know, the Delta counter is like, what can I do for you buddy? It's like, what?
You know, we're not, we're not, I don't know.
Bring back some fucking class.
It's personal, I take it personally
because I get defensive about buddy
because something about buddy feels like diminutive.
Yeah, I mean, I say buddy to others with affection,
but I will police my buddy usage to strangers.
I think it's different if you say it personally.
Yeah, sure.
If you are working at a place,
a bartender is different.
A bartender can say buddy.
Yeah, a bartender can say buddy.
A bartender can say whatever they want.
They can say pal, they can say boss, all that stuff.
Emma, a former bartender, thank you for your service.
What was your go-to?
I said y'all a lot,
because it was gender neutral.
That's what we were taught.
Y'all was pretty good.
One of my restaurants, we lot because it was gender neutral. That's what we were like taught. Y'all's the best. Y'all's pretty good. One of my restaurants, we were like taught not to gender people.
So like they were y'all folks, there's multiple people.
If it's just one person, I just say, what's up?
How's it going?
What was that?
Buffalo woke wings?
Yeah.
I would be great to go in there and something happens and you say,
what is this, Buffalo woke wings?
You just look around and everyone's like, yes, yes.
I think Emma is right with, I think that's a good lesson.
I think a non-gender.
I still use y'all in my emails and stuff to this day.
Yeah, I picked up on that, it's smart.
I like a boss, which maybe is like a little bit
of like the same thing as a sir,
of just like, but it sounds a little less formal.
So I was like, I got you boss.
I was like, I like that.
Buddy to me sounds a little bit like, I'm sorry,
in Boston, they'll say like, someone will be like,
what's up handsome?
You know what I mean?
You're like, are you just like, are you being a dick?
You don't think I'm handsome possibly.
Like it's that sort of thing with Buddy where it's,
what's up, Buddy? And you're like, like...
What is it? What are you trying to say here?
It depends on the tone.
With you, I know that you're, you know,
you are like, oh, this guy wants friends.
Everything's tone. It's all tone.
It is. It's mostly tone.
Everything's tone.
It's all tone.
Buddy, but Buddy, I get not loving Buddy.
If you do Buddy at the end, that's really bad. It's like
Okay, buddy. Oh sure that sounds dismissive
Yeah, yeah buddy is one of those weird words where you're saying it to someone you also think is a dick sometimes like relax buddy
You know I got it buddy. I use it for trolls all the time. I say alright buddy. Okay, buddy. See yeah
You're fucking tag. You're famous. You're fam, one of your, this is one of his
favorite famous words.
I do say hey buddy a lot.
But it's contextual.
Yeah, you're doing it, it's totally different.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can do it.
I think you're being an asshole still.
You can butt out.
You can butt out.
What do you like?
What do you like to get?
Hey, how you doing?
That's what I say.
How you doing?
Hey, how you doing?
How you doing?
Hey man, how you, well I say,
you know, well I shouldn't, that's also, again, gender, but like, if there's what I say. How you doing? Hey, how you doing? How you doing? Hey man, how you, well I say, you know, well I shouldn't,
that's also again, gender,
but like if there's a bartender guy there.
Hey, what can I get for you, fuckface?
Oh, if I'm like, if I'm ordering, oh, that's interesting.
What can I help you guys with?
I'll say that, like group, like y'all or,
hey, what can I help you guys with?
Y'all is really handy.
I, the one I don't like to get, and Mitch,
you, I'm curious, you probably get,
well, I was gonna say is big man or big guy.
Oh, I get that a lot.
I get big man.
Yeah, but if I get big guy, it's like,
okay, I get it, you know.
Right.
I'm not a big guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Are you my girlfriend's dad from high school?
Cool.
All right, big guy, what's going on?
It's like, I am older than you. How's it right, big guy, what's going on? It's like, I am older than you.
How's it going, big guy?
That's the big guy on the other side of that
where it's like, oh, you're calling,
like you're pointing out that I am big.
You are a big guy, and I'm like,
I'm like, am I that big of a guy?
I'm not that big a guy, am I?
Yeah.
It's like, I guess I am a big guy.
Yeah.
And you get real self-conscious.
But you get big guy, big man.
It's like very much being like,
oh, you're pointing out the fact that I am like overweight
and big, you know what I mean?
Like there is a part of that that happens.
Yeah.
Maybe you mean like big man on campus.
Like you just got like big vibes.
No one's ever meant that about me.
I've never been the big man on any campus I've walked into,
even if I walked onto one today,
which would be horrifying.
Because campus big men are very big.
Campus big men are fucking big.
They're huge dudes.
They're like apes who would just,
you know, like a gorilla.
Yes, yes.
With a massive.
Just with a whine shirt.
Yeah, it is.
Just doing keg stands.
It is sad when you get like, you know,
like, you know, your Ross Kimbles, your,
even Ross is, yeah.
That's a real big man. Yeah, but I'm saying like, Ross is a big man. When you're like, my bigness isn't even like, you know, like, you know, your Ross Kimball's, your even- Oh, that's a real big man.
Yeah, but I'm saying like, when you're like,
my bigness isn't even like, it sucks.
There's bigger guys than me.
There's much bigger guys than me.
Yeah, then it's like that photo you see of Charles Barkley,
or is it, I don't remember Charles Barkley-
With the Rock.
With the Rock, and then they're like next to,
like there's another one with their next to Shaq
or something, and there's a photo of Shaq next to Yao Ming,
and Yao Ming is just towering over Shaq.
It's like crazy.
It's like Shaq's the biggest guy you can conceive of
and there's someone bigger than him.
It's wild.
Yeah, all those NFL guys are just massive.
They're so fucking big.
Yeah, they're big.
They're fucking big.
They're fucking big.
And we've always been, as a people,
we've always been fascinated by giants.
That's part of the appeal of sports.
You can see someone who's big.
I told this to Wags.
I went to church.
That was the anniversary of my dad passing away.
And the priest called me a, he called me a giant, which he, and he was like,
are you Irish?
And he asked, he asked me that twice because I saw him twice over the course of a couple of months.
Do you have an Irish accent?
He did not have an Irish accent.
So it wasn't like a thing of like, hey, you're a part of like the tribe or whatever.
It was like, just like, I think his monstrosity
comes from the Irish gene was basically what it was.
And then he was like, hey, I'm not supposed to do this,
but you're the guy from Confession
who was talking about jacking off into your toilet right now.
I mean, recognize the voice.
Oh, look at this big giant here.
Feeding the baby.
Full of salt every day feeding my little baby.
Shame.
Poor baby has to be fed by a giant man three times a day. Going in there three times a day unloading into the baby.
How dare you. It's funny our giant man but not giant everywhere. Giant for a leprechaun. Well, shut your nose, shut your nose.
Here is the best thing I had at Buffalo Wild Wings.
Wow.
And one of the best things I've eaten
for this shitty podcast all year.
Whoa, this is big.
Wow, so you both ate in restaurant, right?
I ate in restaurant.
I did in restaurant.
I did not.
The All American Cheeseburger. I ate in restaurant. I did in restaurant. I did not. The all American cheeseburger.
I'd never had their burger before,
but I'd heard it was good.
I got it with the, it's a double patty.
It's got American cheese, iceberg lettuce.
It's kind of a smash burger concept,
but not an extreme version of that.
Lettuce, tomato, pickles, mustard mayo,
a chala bun comes with fries.
And then I got added grilled onions,
which the menu suggested. What do you say it's chala? Isn't- H then I got added grilled onions, which the menu suggested isn't
How do you say it? Oh, oh
I didn't claim to be the wordsmith. You you dumped me the worst. Yes. Well, yeah the titles taken away you fucking
Is weird, it's usually like a braided loaf. Yeah, so to make a bun is like a hollow bun
I've never heard that feels like a like they're just somewhat, you know, shooting from the hip.
Here's the thing, the texture worked marvelously.
I thought this was a delicious burger.
I loved it.
I was like, this is fucking great.
And if I come back to Buffalo Wild Wings,
I'm not getting wings, I'm getting this.
I wish I had got that.
It was great, it was terrific.
I also got some, an order of wings and fries
just cause I wanted to try a couple of different wings.
They have two different varietals right now.
They're seasonal, honey sriracha and honey garlic.
Honey sriracha's a little spicy.
Honey garlic is not spicy at all.
I did the honey sriracha.
Yeah.
I got the two seasonal wings last night.
What is going on here?
What's going on?
Jesus.
A little mind melding between all of us.
You know what's strange though,
is the last time I went to BW3's,
actually it's not called that,
I don't mind calling it that, a friend of mine went as well just the day before,
coincidentally I saw him later that week, we both got the exact same order.
Wow.
Just weirdly, strangely enough.
BW3 sounds so good, it's sad that it doesn't work.
That's when I first heard him call it, my friend Nate called it BW3's.
It was originally BW3 because the way the concept started
was Buffalo Wild Wings and WEC.
A WEC is an upstate New York beef sandwich.
Beef WEC.
Really?
And so they originally had wings and WEC
and then they were like, lose the WEC, it's cleaner
and it's just Buffalo Wild Wings.
They Sean Parker'd it.
So, but yeah, that's why it was,
some people still call it BW3.
Cause WEC sounds like, you know,
oh, I got a bunch of wack on my pants.
Right.
Right.
Wack sounds like you might be going to feed the baby.
Wack.
Wack.
I thought I was misremembered.
I thought I was having like a Mandela effect thing
by calling it BW3.
No, you're, it's in usage.
A lot of people call it B-dubs.
Oh yeah.
B-dubs, yeah, love saying B-dubs.
Everybody cool calls it B-dubs. Love saying B-dubs. I don't call it B-dubs. Oh yeah. B-dubs, yeah, love saying B-dubs.
Everybody cool calls it B-dubs.
Love saying B-dubs.
I don't call it B-dubs, which makes sense.
This does check out.
I should call it, it is cool to call it B-dubs.
I don't go to Buffalo Wild Wings enough as is.
I should go more.
No, it's good that you don't go as often as you,
as like just go for the show.
That's all you need to do as far as Buffalo Wild Wings.
Once we, when we review it periodically,
every four years or whatever, that can be your trip.
You don't need to go regularly.
I was hurting.
I'm gonna say this.
I, last night, cause I have, like I was like,
did everyone eat it?
And I found out that everyone had eaten at the restaurant.
And I was like, I'm the only one who hasn't eaten
at the restaurant.
And so I was like, I'm gonna just order it.
What time did you find this out?
It was like 10 PM.
So I ordered, I ordered, I ordered my buffalo wild wings.
It came at about 10 PM or so.
I can actually look to see when it came specifically.
It was late.
Sorry, Jimmy.
It was late.
And I'll say this.
I had the experience of eating at during the pandemic,
which is, I feel like it's such an eat at home restaurant.
Yeah.
But I think since the pandemic,
they maybe have upped their takeout game
because I've eaten in restaurant plenty of times.
I think they would have to survive.
Yeah, for sure.
I thought that it traveled pretty well.
A thing that I really fucked up on is
I'm here with the oven fries, man. I didn't get any fucking fries. I traveled pretty well. A thing that I really fucked up on is,
I'm here with the oven fries, man.
I didn't get any fucking fries.
Oh, you just got wings.
I had an option to get fries.
I got a buffalo chicken wrap and I was like,
oh, I'll do the chips and salsa, that would be great.
It came with the chips, they forgot the salsa,
which is just like, it's just unusable.
But I luckily did get a little side of queso,
queso sauce, which was in a little container
and it was, no, it was weird.
It was very strange.
But I didn't, the originator of oven fries,
we got them here.
That's true.
We've sold, you know, like 20 t-shirts based on this.
We owe you a cut of the 20 t's.
I think I got a cut.
Yeah, you got a cut.
Oh, you did, all right, good, yeah, yeah, yeah. And by the way, 20 t-shirts I think I got a cut. Yeah, you got a cut. Oh, he did. All right, good. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, and by the way, 20 T-shirts, I think the
most of any T-shirts we've sold.
I'm a brand, I'm your branding guy.
Let's go branding.
That's my company.
I have the ball.
The oven fries were, have you had any oven
fries since we've talked about them?
I have.
Hell yeah.
Have you really?
Yeah.
Ma! Have you had any oven fries since we've talked about them? I have not. Hell yeah. Have you really?
Yeah.
Ma!
I didn't make them.
Oh, your mom made them.
Yeah, my mom made them.
My mom, if I have oven fries still,
they're usually, she's, look,
she's gonna usually get your steak fries.
That's the ones that she usually gets.
Wait, like the O-R-I-D-A?
What do you go with?
Yeah, usually O-R-I-DIda. And I'll sometimes do curly fries.
I think curly fries are because they're seasoned.
You know what I mean?
Those are good.
Ore-Ida, Oregon, Idaho.
How about that?
Is that what it is?
Frickin' Bill Shakespeare over here.
Someone get this guy a pen.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Someone get this guy some paper too.
We don't wanna lose this.
Hold on.
Someone call up the vice president.
That's my new joke, call the vice president.
What did you think of the honey sriracha and honey garlic?
You got both flavors?
I got both.
And you just got the honey garlic.
Did you get boneless or regs?
I always do bone-in.
I love bone-in wings.
Yeah, me too.
I made a mistake.
I got the boneless, I got half.
I got some boneless and some bone-in.
The boneless are fucking terrible.
Really?
I'll never get boneless wings as long as I live.
Wow.
I only like bone-in.
They're too salty.
There's not enough meat.
They got the breading on there. So much extra breading.
Oh, not good.
There's some great boneless buffalo fingers in Quincy
that I gotta have Wags try,
because I wonder what he would think of them.
That's like a local thing, you know?
Like a local boneless is different.
It's like a made with care by a sweaty guy, you know?
Yeah, there's, oh, 100% a sweaty guy.
It's different.
And I think that you, I think both of you would like them.
I, but weirdly enough that you, I think both of you would like them.
I, but weirdly enough, I had the, and I think I had one flavor, the sriracha
honey sriracha was the bone in and then the honey, the honey garlic was the,
was the bone out.
I do the exact same thing.
I got boneless honey gar and I got bone in honey sriracha.
And I, mine, boneless were pretty good and I really enjoy the taste of scratch. And mine, boneless were pretty good.
And I really enjoy the taste of it.
I know, I know.
And also it traveled, but I did a priority.
I got it the first delivery.
So it was- You always gotta get priority.
You gotta try, you gotta get an up charge.
It is an up charge.
But it's worth it.
It's worth it.
Because it's like, man,
it's already sitting there long enough.
Yeah.
They're not making like three other stops.
They're just going straight to you.
That's nice.
I will say, I do like that honey garlic sauce a lot.
That was really flavorful.
And it's like completely mild.
And I'm a bit of a heat seeker.
So I would have naturally thought I'd like
the honey sriracha a little bit more.
Honey sriracha, first off, to me had no punch.
It was not spicy at all.
And then, and it's supposed to be like two, you know, two little flames.
Yes, it's supposed to be kind of high.
But I think it's kind of like a, what do you call it?
A slow burn?
Yeah, I just wasn't feeling it very much.
But I guess sriracha is also like not
the spiciest of sauces.
The honey really took over.
It was the honey really took over.
It was the dominant flavor, yeah.
It's very sweet, a very sweet wing.
Yeah.
Which I don't love.
I mean, it tastes really great, but I'm also like,
I want that sour vinegar-ness. That's what I crave. Well. I mean, it tastes really great, but I'm also like, I want that sour vinegar-ness.
That's what I crave.
Well, I mean, my fingers afterwards, I was like,
what, I just feed the baby?
What's going on here?
No one liked that?
You're just too potent of an image.
Because I'm just not even sure what it is yet.
Yeah.
Like, wouldn't the baby lick you? potent of an image. Cause I'm just not even sure what it is. Yeah. Yeah.
Like, wouldn't the baby lick your fingers clean?
Let's be dipping my hands in the toilet.
You're dipping them in there?
Nothing goes to waste.
It was, you know what?
You know how you go over the line? I went, I think I pushed it over the line. I think I took it too far.
Well, that's how you know where the limit is.
Yeah.
So it's a useful lesson.
But you know what?
I stand by it, because I think it was interesting finding out where the limit was.
What did the Fremen do with that stuff?
They're saving it, right?
The Fremen?
Oh my god.
Oh, that's why they're-
Fremen's not just going to blow a load in the sand.
They're going to do it in their stills soon.
Yeah.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom.
I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. stuff they're saving it right that's not just gonna blow a load in the sand
yeah we are all so backed up Paul Atreides please please you can only edge
on Arrakis yeah don't let it out don't let it out
sand worms will hear yeah they hear a thud on the ground.
They're going to come, they're coming.
We've been waiting for a general, cause you know what the thud is?
What's that?
Doom.
Doom.
It's someone getting right to the edge.
I thought you were saying dune as you were doing it.
Dune.
Dune.
Dune.
That would be very funny.
That would be funny. If in the new dune that the sound it made was d it. Dune, dune, dune. That would be very funny. That would be funny.
If in the new Dune, the sound it made was dune.
Dune.
Oh.
Oh.
Nisana gaiii.
Did you like it?
Nick loves it.
I like it a lot, yeah.
I was just okay on it.
Casey loves it.
It's his favorite movie.
Emma liked it. Emma loved it.
I'm the odd one.
I'm into it.
The first one was so much more fun, but that was just because it was like. I liked the odd one. I'm the odd one. I'm into it. I, the first one was so much more fun,
but that was just cause it was like,
I liked the first one more too.
You know, it's more, it's like immersive,
more immersive, I guess.
Natalie likes the first one more too.
I liked the first one more after my first viewing
of Dune Two.
And then when I saw Dune Two again, I was like,
Oh wait, no, this, like I just,
I was not trying being overwhelmed by information.
Also didn't like any of the new Star Wars movies.
And then when you saw them again, you're like,
I love them.
So I can't really trust,
I don't know what happens to you in your second view.
Well, your opinion never changes
when you experience something in second eye?
I don't think my opinion goes from,
I want to kill J.J. Abrams to I now like this movie
as it did for W.I.G.S.
Yeah, I came around on it.
Horse Awakens is fine.
So I got two of one, one of each wing.
Last Jedi I like. Jesus Christ. We don't need to get into it. We don't have came around on it. Horse Awakens is fine. So I got two of one, one of each wing. Last Jedi I like.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
We don't need to get into it.
We don't have to get into it.
Lord of the Rings.
I love Lord of the Rings.
Love Lord of the Rings.
Lord of the Rings are great.
I just got back into them.
These movies are fucking cool.
Fantastic.
Fucking incredible.
They're fucking great.
They're so relaxing.
Yeah, they're a great filmmaker.
He's incredible.
Yeah.
Peter Jackson.
It's a big guy.
Big guy? Big guy. Hey, big guy. You know,
he probably got that. And then he slimmed down. There was a little slim Peter at one point.
I don't know. I think he's not a... That wouldn't work for him, I felt like.
Yeah. You want him to kind of be a big guy, but he did. I remember it was post Lord of the Rings,
I think he went down. He golemized a little bit.
Golemized.
And then, you know, he dwarfed up a little bit after that.
I got a buffalo chicken wrap, why?
Because I got those two wings.
I got a buffalo chicken wrap.
That's what came with the option for fries or the chips.
Chips and salsa was like the standard.
So I went with chips and salsa.
Salsa was not there, which was just a bummer. I mean, a bunch of tortilla chips with no
salsa and there was that weird queso sauce, which was strange. It was warm, but I was
just like, is this for the wings? I didn't really understand what the queso sauce was
because it was in a tiny container too. It was like in like one of the ranch or the blue
cheese containers. I also got ranch and blue cheese.
I got carrots and celery.
I didn't get celery.
You didn't get celery?
I asked for it.
They're like, we're out of celery.
Out of celery?
I am such a celery man.
I love celery so much.
Yeah, I love it with wings.
I gotta have it with wings.
It's the ultimate combination
because it's like the healthiest thing ever
mixed with the worst thing ever. So you feel like you're like, you know,
stepping into worlds, like bouncing back and forth
between bad boy, good boy.
You know what I'm saying?
But also such satisfying crunch
and such a great like ranch or blue cheese delivery mechanism.
It's designed.
God, our designer, God made this.
It is nature's scoop.
Honestly, it's crazy. Can, honestly, it's did you imagine by the way if the bad boys will Smith and Martin Lawrence met the good boys
Those little rascals from the movie good boys. Can you just imagine you imagine that mashup? I don't know
There were the little kids who swore a lot.
Yeah.
What was this, like the 60s?
No, this was pretty recent.
Good Boys?
Good Boys, yeah.
How the fuck, man?
I guess I've been doing a good job at staying off the radar.
Yeah, I don't think you ever had to see-
I'm looking it up right now to see what your advice-
Good Boys.
One of the podcasts I think Sam Richardson is in it, right?
I think he's in the movie.
Is he?
Yeah, I think so.
Good Boys came out in 2019.
Yeah, it's like an R-rated-
Oh, I recognize that.
Yeah, you've seen this poster.
I didn't see that movie.
It's a movie.
Yeah, they're like foul-mouthed youths.
Oh, yeah, I didn't see that.
Well, it was a different time.
Different era.
How can you forget something that came out
right before the pandemic?
Yeah, my mind is like basically like been wiped clean
two times over.
Well, I would just say like if like, you know,
I like you were like me and you knew what good boys was
and then Mitch said that you would have the reaction I did
which would be like just euphoric.
It's absolutely like, yeah, yeah.
Just rapturous.
Because it's like the reference that-
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that you can't imagine what it would be like
if the bad boys met the good boys.
I honestly, I pity you that you can't imagine
the bad boys meeting the good boys.
Because when Mitch said it, I was like,
oh my God, I'm in heaven.
Reference to one of the most popular movies ever made
to something that is basically obscure.
Yeah.
Basically obscure, sort of like maybe, I don't know,
like canoe dancing or something like that.
It's like Well Rider, basically.
Yeah.
The Well 2, Well Rider.
Also, we're the Dough Boys.
Why don't the Bad Boys meet the Dough Boys?
There you go!
Oh, everyone's having a good time.
Well, he said Bad boys and good boys.
He said bad boys, good boys.
Oh, sure. Right.
So that's where it was in your head.
I thought you were going to say, imagine
Will Smith and Martin riffing on celery.
That would be very funny.
Because you know that Will would be like,
what are we eating that for?
And he's like, this?
This is celery, man.
It's healthy.
Yeah, it's healthy.
And Will Smith would be like, that's bad.
And Will, you know, it would be like this thing
where it would just be sparkling on screen.
And Monica Lawrence is like, I'm on a diet.
I need to eat the celery.
Like that would be a part, because I think now,
Exactly.
You just dipped it in barbecue sauce.
It's like, oh, but it's all mine.
You know, whatever.
You got Michael Bay just fucking,
whoosh.
Yeah.
Like, we've got six cameras from a mile away zooming in,
helicopter shot.
I'd be eating it up.
I think I would be having a blast watching it.
Yeah.
I gotta say this.
If the bad boys met the dough boys, I think the whole time I'd be thinking, keep his wife's
name out of your mouth.
I think that's what I'd be thinking is to not mention-
Oh my God.
You don't want to get slapped.
I don't want to be slapped.
Who would want to be slapped?
I bet he's cool with it now.
I bet he's cool.
You think he's cool now?
Yeah, he's got to be.
He's got to be. He's probably with it now. I bet he's cool. You think he's cool now? Yeah, he's gotta be. He's gotta be, he's probably chilled out.
I feel like Will's the guy who,
Will's like Schwarzenegger, he's gonna make it right.
He's gonna make it right.
Do whatever he can to make it right.
In eight years when he's allowed back
to the Academy Awards, you know something fun's
gonna happen.
Shit's so bizarre, that thing's so simulation.
Yeah, it's bizarre.
It feels like absolutely just,
what the fuck is this world we live in? A 10-year ban from the Academy Awards is very funny.
The fact that there's a number on it?
Yes.
Like, what the fuck?
It's insane.
41-year ban for me so far from the Academy Awards.
41? Oh, yeah.
I think it's gonna go longer, honestly.
You're banned, huh?
I think I'm banned.
I mean, that's my guess.
I've never been invited.
Have you ever gotten the invite to the Academy Awards?
No, I've never.
No, Mitch.
Never gone to the Oscars.
No?
Spacey Weinstein never gave you an invite?
You never plus one?
Mel Gibson's plus one.
The, uh, no, I mean, we know a lot of people
who have written for the Oscars.
Yeah, it's true.
But, yeah, no, I've never actually
been involved with that.
I forget that.
People have a right for it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm- true. But yeah, no, I've never actually been involved with that. I forget that. People write for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm.
But the, yeah.
Jack Allison was, during the mix-up,
Jack Allison was right there on hand during the big mix-up.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
He was, why?
Because they had the Kimmel staff,
and he was writing for Kimmel at the time.
So like the, you know, if you're a host of a late night show,
you'll just bring your writers over
and help you write the award show.
Mm-hmm.
The La La Land Moonlight mix up.
I met one of those guys on the picket line.
I met someone who was a producer on La La Land
and he was like, yeah, I was up there
when they had the award wrong.
I was like, that's fucking, what a crazy thing to experience.
That's fucking wild.
Anyway, we gotta talk more about Buffalo Wild Wings.
Yeah, I guess so.
I mean, we could think some more on what the bad boys would do if they met the good boys.
Well, I was going to say this, out of celery is crazy to me.
I don't know if there's a big ants in the log thing going on.
I don't know what's happening.
Yeah, TikTok's got this ants in the logging now.
They were just cleaned out.
Every cell we farm from here to Gloucester is fucked.
It's funny he says, I went with Dutton to Los Files Cafe
or Cafe Los Files, and a TikToker had gone
to Cafe Los Files.
Oh no, they ruined it?
And it was like, and so like, it's been like packed
because a TikToker's like,
this is the best breakfast burrito in LA.
And he's like, he like pours the sauce on. He's like,
like that's all it takes.
Then it's over.
And then now it's gonna be,
there are all young people in line at Cafe Los Feliz.
I mean, it will just be a month of that
and then it will die down.
What is that?
There used to be a different name?
Cafe Los Feliz?
Yeah, I don't think I know that place.
It's near, it's right across the street
from Little Dom's on that corner.
Oh, okay. So you might be thinking's near, it's right across the street from Little Dom's on that corner.
Oh, okay.
So you might be thinking of Mustard Seed Cafe down the street.
Yeah, Mustard Seed.
Mustard Seed is also another very popular spot.
Well, there's also, what's the old school place that everyone goes to?
Like, you know, it's like where you have lunch with an agent or some shit.
It's the place on...
Alcove?
Alcove, right.
Alcove is like, you know, that's always going to be...
I saw Gina, what's your name? Gina Davis. Davis there once. Gina, wow. The fly's girlfriend.
Gina Davis goes there, that's a pretty good spot.
The fly's ex.
Yeah, I worked with Gina Davis once.
Did you really?
Yeah, she was lovely.
She was awesome, she was the best.
Gotta be.
Totally pros pro.
She did a bunch of fucking archery tricks.
What?
It's incredible.
She was hopeful for Olympic archery back in the day.
Really?
And she's kept up with,
and she's like a phenomenal archer. That's how you also make it. So we shot a thing, Cause she's, she was a, she was a hopeful for Olympic archery back in the day and
she's kept up with, and she's like a
phenomenal archer.
That's how you.
Me and Danny Jelinek shot a thing with her
where she just did a bunch of
fucking archery.
Yeah.
It was fucking incredible.
That's that's nuts.
The fly and the WIG.
She's worked with both.
No, I was thinking, cause yeah, the fly
and the WIG, Jeff Goldblum, the fly. Yeah. Yeah fly and the wig, Jeff Goldblum the fly.
And you the wig.
Yeah, yeah.
I've also worked with Jeff Goldblum.
Wow.
So there you go.
It's a perfect triforce.
A triforce of talent.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Goldblum also, he's got a talent.
He likes to tickle the keys.
He likes to tickle the keys.
And sing songs to the women at a bar.
That's his thing.
He sings.
It's true.
He loves to do it.
I can't do it.
That's my Jeff Goldblum impression.
I, um, uh, um, uh.
When I met him, so like he does the thing where he'll repeat,
which I do, which repeats someone's name a few times
to himself to get it in his brain.
So when he met me, he was like,
oh, hello, Mr. Weiger.
Nice to meet you, Mr. Weiger.
In the very gold-bloomy way,
he was saying Mr. Weiger to me.
It was really intense.
Ooh, that's, I have a theory about that stuff,
but I don't know, we'll talk about it off the pod.
About saying people's names a few times?
Because these are all, this and the buddy thing
are both things that I do.
We'll talk about this.
Oh, but you say it, but when he says it's different.
Yeah, okay.
He's saying it not to remember it.
I think he's doing a different thing.
Oh, it's like some sort of power.
I think he's using the voice.
You think he's using the voice?
Basically, yeah, it's like,
I've never met Hugh Jackman,
but you know if you met Hugh Jackman,
it's like if you met any president of the United States,
you could hate him as much as you want,
but you meet him and be like, hey.
Right, right.
You're just gonna be, oh, this person is magnanimous.
It's like when George W. Bush,
like people are like, I'm gonna fucking,
I hate that fucking guy, and people meet him,
and they just turn, like, oh.
Yeah, because he's got like, he's got the shine.
Yeah, right.
You know what I mean?
I feel like those people have it,
they have the shine where they're using
the voice on you in a way.
She's using the voice on me, like a fucking Benet Jezaret.
Yeah, for real.
I get that.
Mr. Weigel.
Fuck.
Open the door.
Kill him.
Fuck.
Write me something really funny.
That one didn't work.
Weird.
The best jokes.
Give them to me.
Yeah, I'm tuned out the voice now, yeah.
I like the...
Anyway, I like the voice.
I like the voice.
I like the voice.
I like the voice.
I like the voice. I like the voice. I like them to me. Yeah, I'm tuned out the voice now, yeah.
I like the, anyway, I like the honey garlic
more than the honey sriracha.
I thought the honey sriracha was kind of inert.
They were both well-
Me too.
They were well-made wings, but just kind of like,
a little too sweet maybe, a little too much honey.
Yeah, I was full the same way, too sweet.
Cause like the sweet's like a the sweet's like a cheat code.
Because you're always going to like the sweet thing,
but it's not going to satiate you the same.
Right.
It's like a classic dirty wing.
Yeah.
Hey, you don't want to piss off the bees,
but a little too much honey, I think.
I think there was too much honey on these things.
Could have been.
Pulled back the honey a little bit.
Yeah, that could have been the thing.
I also, in store, I was not going
to have a
brew dog at lunch. So I got myself a Mountain Dew Legend, which is a Buffalo Wild Wings
exclusive Mountain Dew flavor. And you know, why is that? And I, who weren't offered, they
didn't offer it to me. No, I actually did ask because I was like, get anything special.
He mentioned something called like sunny or slurry. It's like the new, the new story.
Yeah. Story. Like what the hell is story? So they're a Pepsi restaurant. It's like the new, the new. Stary. Stary, yeah.
Stary. Like what the hell is stary?
So they're a Pepsi restaurant.
It's Sierra Mist.
Their new Sierra Mist, yeah.
Yeah.
I got the Mountain Dew Legend as well.
Yeah.
And you know what? I think it's a drink.
I think it's a pretty good drink.
Yeah, I thought it was good.
What's it taste like?
It's, so the, I tasted it and I was like,
oh, this is like kind of like a spicy grape soda.
And then I looked it up.
It's blackberry, citrus and ginger. So, and it's got caffeine in it like a Mountain Dew
So it's good. Yeah, it's like it's like the color of Cola. It's like it's like a black so purple purple. Yeah
Sounds good. It was good. I did like it good. It was good. I should have got that
I'm not to go back by and just get a bucket of to-go
I got that. I'm not to go back by and just get a bucket of to go.
You know what? It's right next to the AMC Burbank. There's a couple of good spots where you can, uh,
by teenagers, you can get yelled at by teenagers.
I am very afraid of getting yelled at by teenagers up there.
There's one in Glendale too. And that's where I got mine delivered from.
And it must be near the Americana, but I have no idea where the fuck it is.
It is just, it over by the Americana.
It is just, it's by the Americana.
That's where I got mine from.
Uh, and I don't know if I've ever actually been to that location before,
but I'll say this on the whole.
It was kind of, I've been in Buffalo Wild Wings a million times. It was kind of good to get delivery.
It worked out in a weird way where I was like, Oh, this delivered pretty good for
me.
I, I, I was enjoying it.
And that was, I did the Mountain Dew
legend, the wrap chips and salsa and the
two different, uh, which I did not finish
all of that, but, uh, but, uh, oh, I also
got something that I really loved.
And I'm not sure if you're going to agree
with this, everything pretzel bites.
I didn't see that on the menu.
It sounds good. It does sound good. I fucking liked them a lot. They came with beer cheese and mustard. Ooh, beer pretzel bites. I didn't see that on the menu. It sounds good.
It does sound good.
I fucking liked them a lot.
They came with beer cheese and mustard.
Beer cheese always good.
And it was like a spicy mustard.
It was, it was, it was, they were, I loved them.
I thought they were great.
They were really good.
I thought they were cheese curds.
Oh yeah.
I do like their curds.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm from the Midwest.
Right, right.
It's a thing there.
I had to get them just to try them.
And they're definitely, they say Wisconsin cheese curds,
but they're not like.
Yeah.
They're a lot too.
It's just like a big bat, like a basket.
They're too small.
They should be bigger.
Yeah.
And they should be, well, there's all kinds of stuff,
but cheese curds are kind of actually hard to do, right?
Yeah, Culver's does a good one.
Am I wrong?
Am I misremembering that?
I think so, but that's like a, I haven't had them before. That's like a Wisconsin thing. Yeah. And you're from Minnesota. Right, I mean, I've been to Culver's does a good one. Am I wrong? Am I misremembering that? I think so, but that's like a, I haven't had them.
That's like a Wisconsin thing. And you're from Minnesota.
Right. I mean, I've been to Culver's. I never got the cheese curds there.
Got it. Got it. I remember those.
This guy, you can talk Lucy Lucy's till the sun comes up though.
I've actually never had one.
Oh my God.
Yeah. Isn't that crazy?
I've had, I've had, I've had the two big spots in, in Minnesota.
Minnesota for the-
Two big spots?
And I can't, I have a t-shirt for one of them. I went with Wu Tang big spots in Minnesota for religion. This is two big spots?
I have a t-shirt for one of them.
I went with Wu Tang just recently, but I'll look him up.
But it's something bar, it's a number, like bar 59 or something.
I don't even know actually.
I don't know, because I didn't grow up in Minneapolis,
so I don't know the stuff there.
Yeah, I have not had a proper one out there.
I've had some versions of it here,
but I'm sure it's not the same.
It's also like seems a little gimmicky to me.
Am I?
Blue cheeseburger?
No, just the idea of a juicy Lucy.
You didn't come with us to get it.
Well, yeah, this is the thing.
I wasn't gonna, we had to eat fucking,
what was that awful place, that wretched place?
Taco John's, I was literally recovering from food poisoning
while you were eating that juicy Lucy.
Emma got sick from Taco John's.
Emma has more work to do than any of us on the tour.
I learned this now.
I went with Carl, on tour I went with Carl.
I went with Wu Tang the first time I was there.
You met with the Wu Tang clan?
I just Wu Tang, my buddy Wu Tang,
who we went and saw the Patriots lose the Super Bowl.
Well, your buddy's name is Wu Tang?
His name is Adam Wu and we call him Wu Tang.
Oh, okay. Great dude.
Great dude, he loves Wu Tang.
Great guy, runs a restaurant, okay. Great dude. Great dude. Love Wu Tang. Great guy. He runs a restaurant.
Yeah.
Majestic Dragon and Ipswich.
Club Five Eight is one of them.
I've never heard of that.
Damn.
Origin Soak.
Yeah, Club.
So they shot the good boys.
Five Eight Club.
Sorry, I got that backwards.
Isn't it kind of like a dive bar?
Like it's a small little spot. So't it kind of like a dive bar,
like it's a small little spot?
So Matt's Bar is the one that is,
I mean I think maybe both of them are,
but I think Five Eight Club has a couple locations,
but Matt's Bar is the dive bar.
This is in Minneapolis?
This is in Minneapolis, yep.
I've never heard of that, that's weird.
And Matt's Bar is like the, that's like the old school spot.
And look, I went there, wives, with Carl,
and we had one, and we got tees, t-shirts,
and we loved it.
It was very good.
We wore them to the show that night.
I think we had different,
I think we just have different approaches
to this sort of thing.
Cause like when we tour for the podcast,
I'm like, I've gotta make myself miserable
waiting this like fucking garbage food
that we can talk about on the show.
That'll be like, I'll do that obligation
and then I'm gonna eat like a salad or something. But you're like, whatever, I'm already in the muck. I'm just gonna like go on the show. That'll be like, I'll do that obligation and then I'm gonna eat like a salad or something.
But you're like, whatever, I'm already in the muck.
I'm just gonna go full feral.
So you're pointing out the fact that,
yeah, I was eating more garbage.
Yeah, but that's the thing.
I'm just like, I can't do that to my body now.
We were there though, we went early to Taco John's.
We got in a day early and we had that the night before
and then we had-
Yeah, thank God, there's been barfing on stage.
That would be a cool look though.
I think you guys could pull it off,
like a tandem spray barf.
You know?
That would be kind of like a-
Synchronized puking.
I feel like the Minnesota crowd
probably would have just been like,
yeah, they were so fucked up.
They would have loved it.
They were fucking hammered.
They were hammered.
Oh yeah, people liked to drink there.
They sure do.
They were out of their minds.
And I like Minnesota.
My cousin John lives in it and his family.
Had a great time.
Shout out to Leah, you met both of them.
Leah and John, you met them.
They were lovely.
And their kids, great family.
They live in Minnesota.
I like Minnesota.
Joe Mandy's from Minnesota, but the crowd
was out of control that night.
They were crazy.
They were wild.
They were wild that night.
They were juiced up.
Are you a sporto?
Do you like those Minnesota Timberwolves?
I like the Vikings.
I don't know about basketball.
The Vikings, okay.
Wolves are doing great this season.
Really?
Yeah.
Checking out the playoffs.
Basketball, there's too many games.
That's the thing, but I think the Wolves
would be a really fun team to just check out
for the playoff run, and then everyone in Minnesota
will be cheering for them.
Playoff run is a great way to get into basketball, too,
I think.
You know what, it is a long season.
I haven't been keeping up to date on the Celtics
as much as I should, but you know what? I'm a grown man. I haven't been keeping up to date on the Celtics as much as I should, but you know what?
I'm a grown man.
I have-
Well, they're like, whatever, 12 games ahead
for the one seed.
They're fucking, you know, getting walls to the finals.
They're looking for it again.
I mean, I'm sure that they'll lose in the final.
See, I like just like football.
Football's so simple.
Yeah, right.
One game a week and you just move on with your life.
And it's like pure entertainment.
There's no, I don't know, something about it.
I only got into it recently. I got into it like a couple of years ago, just like three
years ago during the pandemic, I got into football. I love, I love football. I'm a fan
of watching it. Wiggs was, doesn't watch it because of the issues that come with football,
but he instead watches professional wrestling. I got to, I know it's a, it's a bit contradictory,
but I just like, I got so bummed out
by like what hard hits and shit
and people getting concussions.
You mean the essence of the game?
Yeah, exactly.
That really, really bummed me out.
And I just stopped enjoying it and I was like,
you know, this is one fear of things to follow.
Yeah, I just have no soul.
So I'm sort of like-
No, I did no judgment against anyone who does.
No, for real, I feel like it's like,
I've somehow am able to not care about that.
Sure. I mean, it's like as default,, I feel like it's like, I've somehow been able to not care about that. Sure.
I mean, it's like as default.
Yeah.
But I feel like, what's it called
when someone doesn't care about something?
Lack of empathy?
Come on, come on, Shakespeare.
Come on, let's go Shakespeare, what the fuck?
Come on, come on, tell me how I feel.
What is it called?
Like, you're like, apathetic?
What's it called when someone's like a sociopath?
Yeah, I mean, I didn't want to say sociopath.
Yeah, that's it.
I would not think of you as a sociopath.
You're a lovely man.
Exactly.
Wiger.
Exactly.
Oh, guys.
OK, all right.
Wiger is a sociopath, though, for sure.
By the way, professional wrestlers, Cole Cabana just
said, Poutine, you had Wiger at teen.
That's what he said.
That's very good. Good roasting, Cole. I don't know if I had said that to you you had Weigert at Teen. And that's what he said. That's very good. Ooh, good roast from Paul.
I don't know if I had said that to you or something,
but I, but.
You said that in the John and Taya episode.
That's what it was.
Yeah, they were talking about the Teen Burger.
Right.
And you said you had Weigert at Teen.
This was a A&W Canada menu offering,
and I think he maybe was yes-anding that with a Putin.
Oh, that's right, okay.
A lot of fun.
Thanks for checking your texts as we do the show. Shout out to Colt. I think he maybe was yes-anding that with a poutine. Oh, that's right, okay. A lot of fun.
Thanks for checking your texts as we do the show.
Shout out to Colt.
Shout out to Colt.
What else is going on in the text here?
Let's see.
And there's 150 text messages from Blank Doe,
the text chain I'm on with you.
I haven't looked at yet.
Yeah, don't look at that during the record.
We'll catch up on that afterwards.
Emma, shout out to your sister, who I know is a big Buffalo Wild Wings fan,
or is at least a bit of a heat seeker.
She's a huge heat seeker.
She's a real freak for heat.
Mango Habanero, her favorite flavor.
One of her favorites, yeah.
Wow.
Sweet Chili Thai, another one.
That's another hot spicy one.
Yeah, so the...
I think the hottest at Buffalo Wild Wings
is spicy, but not gonna kill you.
It's called Blazin' Knockout.
I think it used to just be called Blazin'
and I've had it before and it's like,
it's not like Howlin' Ray's Howlin'
where it's just gonna knock you on your ass.
It's like hot, but it's fine.
No thanks.
We did the Hot Ones,
well, and we still hasn't come out yet, has it?
How long ago did you make it?
Did you film it?
Well, this is the thing, Mitch said we did the Hot Ones
and people are gonna think we were on the hot ones.
That's not what happened.
Check, keep looking at the YouTube for hot ones.
You might see the Doughboys pop up.
We got the hot ones sauces and tried them for a segment
on an upcoming Patreon episode.
That makes more sense.
Yeah, we absolutely, yeah.
Who knows?
Between President Biden and Ryan Reynolds,
we might pop up on an episode of Hot Ones.
Biden did it?
I mean, there's like the most famous people on Earth
that do Hot Ones.
This is interesting.
On the Hot Ones scale, I don't even think it gets
past the fifth hot sauce, right?
Yeah, I think it would probably be maybe a six or seven,
maybe, if you were being charitable to it.
But I also didn't have it this time,
so I'm speaking from memory.
So like maybe it's not actually that hot.
That stuff is dangerous.
It is dangerous.
Too dangerous.
I had a hot exit from these wings I have.
Oh, you did, okay.
Yeah.
But I get that cause I don't have,
I have less intestines.
So I think it's like the colon breaks down a lot of heat.
And sometimes if I have the hot stuff,
it is a nighttime.
I have to try to take a shit.
Yeah.
Uh, I should get a bidet because it's like a severe pain.
Oh man.
Like it's crazy.
Like I'm surprised at how painful it is.
You got to get a bidet.
I'm telling you.
Look.
I wonder if the bidet would make it worse the same way drinking water.
You know what I mean?
You gotta get a milk bidet.
It can.
Oh.
That'd be good.
A milk bidet.
Jemmy moved away from me after I said that
and is now like in a seemingly uncomfortable position.
She does it sometimes.
It's very cute.
For her, kind of lying in like a little lowercase C maybe,
like an S.
Things like a spine twist.
Oh, that's sweet.
I am with you, I'm not, I no longer do,
she's sweet, I can't help myself.
She's cute.
I no longer do the spicy stuff, I do mild,
I'm a mild guy now.
Dolly Parton, I sent you screen grabs of this last night.
Dolly Parton likes mild, yeah.
She's like at Soft Taco Supreme
and she likes mild sauce from Taco Bell.
We just determined.
And the Mexican pizza.
And the Mexican pizza.
You're talking about Dolly Parton
or is this the name of like a dog or something?
Sorry.
The Dolly.
The Dolly.
Okay, I got it.
Doggy Parton would be a great name for a dog.
Yeah, Mitch, that would be a great name for a dog.
I'm just thinking about it now. Man, what if Doggy Parton would be a great name for a dog. Yeah, Mitch, that would be a great name for a dog.
I'm just thinking about it now.
Man, what if Doggy Parton met the bad boys
and the good boys?
Ooh!
That would be a crazy triple thing.
That would be crazy.
And what about, what's the movie with the dogs in it?
Every movie?
Stray, oh, Strays.
Oh man, what if Doggy Parton met the Strays?
I also guess you're right that Stray,
every movie does have a dog in it, probably. Yeah, pretty much every movie. If you're smart enough, movie does have a dog in it.
Yeah, pretty much every movie. If you're smart enough, you'll put a dog in there.
You put a dog in there at some point.
Put a dog in there.
Even if it's just a dog you see along the way or something, I think that's good.
No dogs on Arrakis.
No.
There's Muad'Dib, but there's no dogs.
Yeah, no dogs.
Yeah, no muup dog. Anyway. We should move forward with the show.
Yeah, let's get to our Forks scores.
So Johnny, you've done the show before.
Yes.
The way we do this is that we will each go around,
we'll give a closing argument, if you will,
and then give it a score from zero to five Forks.
You are our guest sitting to my left.
We'll begin with you.
Your thoughts, your Forks score.
It seems like he's mad at me for the good boys, bad boys,
bad boys, bad boys, bad boys, bad boys, bad boys score from zero to five forks. You are our guest sitting to my left.
We'll begin with you.
Your thoughts, your forks.
It seems like he's mad at me
for the good boys, bad boys thing.
I don't know, I'm not getting there.
No.
I think you are. I loved it.
You're deciding it, maybe.
On edge, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a little on edge, I guess.
Also, every time I look at you, he might be going.
I just don't see it.
I look back, it's like the cat that moves,
it advances every time you look back.
Can you talk to me for a second? I can kind of check. So yeah, hot exit. I just don't see it. I look back, it's like the cat that moves, it advances every time you look back.
Can you talk to me for a second?
I can kind of check.
So yeah, hot exit.
It was just significant.
It was just real hot, like so spicy.
I can't tell if he's saying fuck you
or if he's trying to get that apple piece
bro, or he's fingering his mouth.
I was still trying to get the apple out.
Okay.
I'm gonna go with three and a half.
Three and a half works.
So you didn't necessarily have the best experience,
but you're still pretty positive on it.
You know what?
I like, I think Buffalo Wild Wings is not meant
to be eaten without beer and without watching a game.
Sure.
I think you're supposed to go there,
watch a game with at least two other people.
Yeah.
And you're supposed to go there and have a beer and stuff
and just get traditional menu items.
Like the fact that I got the boneless,
I'm not a boneless guy, I should have just stuck with the,
the regular wings, what's saving me is those regular
bone-in honey sriracha were really good.
Those were great.
They make a good wing.
The other stuff is pulling it away.
And also, yeah, I wasn't watching it.
It just was like a thing where, yeah, not the best.
Yeah.
I think that they do a good fry on,
for a fast food place or chain restaurant,
I guess in this scenario,
they do a good fry on a chicken wing
and the chicken wings taste decent.
Yeah.
What about the fries themselves?
But you didn't get them.
I didn't get the fucking fries.
But my boneless were fried pretty well. And that was the only thing that I had fried.
I've been thinking about giving up fried food,
which for this podcast would be impossible maybe.
Well, it might be a fun workaround.
It's sort of like a challenge makes things better.
Right.
Look, I did a year of this podcast without eating any meat.
You can do it.
You can do it.
You can figure it out.
I know.
I like that.
I like that for you.
That year sucked. it was bad content.
Um.
It's the whole year.
The whole year is just a wash.
I had a, I got it delivered, it was late at night,
it caused a gastrointestinal distress this morning.
Now who's the word smith?
Look at you.
I'm going to see a gastroenterologist pretty soon.
You got one?
I got, I, I, I'm going, yeah, I'm going.
I got the best one if you want.
Really?
Yeah.
I should.
Yeah, cancel your appointment with this fucking loser.
Get with Johnny's guy.
We, we, we should, maybe we'll bleep who, when I say this person's name.
Okay.
I wonder if it's the same person.
Is it Cedars?
Uh, it, it is Cedars.
Okay.
I probably know him.
Dr. Sharma. Well, it might be the samears. Okay, I probably know him. Dr. Sharma.
Well, it might be the same office as the place I go out.
Okay. I'm not sure.
All right, we'll talk at post-show.
Yeah, sounds familiar, okay.
Dr. Sharma is where I'm going.
Wow.
We're all like Dr. Sharmin.
Well, now we gotta bleep, Mitch.
We gotta bleep that name.
I was gonna say Dr. Sharma.
We gotta bleep that name a couple of times.
We gotta bleep your joke, we gotta bleep Emma's joke.
No, we can leave it in Dr. Charmin.
We can leave that in.
Can we?
Yeah, sure.
Will people know what that is?
I think the hospital that they work in is pretty close.
The freaks are gonna find it.
Yeah, they're gonna figure it out immediately.
We'll bleep the hospital.
I'm gonna bleep this whole thing.
We leave in my joke.
We leave in the Charmin joke.
The joke doesn't make any sense without the name.
The joke makes no sense without hearing the original name.
Then just, you know what?
Out them.
I don't give a shit anymore.
The hole's just getting deeper.
It's too deep. You know, we they know who he is now
I just have like a three minute long bleep
What are they gonna do call up and be like did Mitch get his stomach looked at what the fuck are they gonna do who cares
I can't say stomach. Do you mean lower intestines?
Wait, do you mean lower intestines? That's the end of the-
It's okay, you can say it, sir.
We are a doctor's office.
You can say it.
You can say it.
Did you shit into the baby's mouth again?
Dr. Charno's like, yeah, I'm at the top of my field.
Nice to meet you.
Actually, my husband loves your podcast.
The pattern of fucking loser fans who are married
to extremely successful people.
Successful, attractive, just excel in every field.
What was it, what were you gonna,
oh, you were gonna do a Doughboy fan voice.
Oh yeah, moments passed.
Come on, let's hear it.
No, I did the other side of the bits.
Okay, all right, good, good, good, good, good.
Here, I'll read another alt from the roasts earlier.
Porn no instead of Ponyo.
Ooh.
Okay.
Is that the idea that you jack off to your imagination?
What's going on there?
I mean, it could be, I mean, I guess porn no.
I'm not like a big porn user and I just kinda like,
I just feed the baby when the urge comes.
But also, I guess it's just a weird roast.
It's a bit of a thinker, yeah.
Maybe just go from Ponyo to like Froyo or something.
Yeah, I like, I don't know,
maybe just make a food thing.
My whole body's like.
I've looked at some porn.
I looked at some fuckin'.
I see, I've seen porn, trust me, I've seen it.
What is it?
What is it?
Uh.
Prove it. It's just that funny thing. What's it, what is it? Describe, what is it? Uh. Prove it.
It's just that funny thing.
What is it? Prove it.
Why would I have to describe porn?
Everyone knows what it looks like, so.
Sounds like someone who has never seen porn,
if you ask me.
Please.
Please.
What is it?
Come on, what is it?
You know the stuff that goes on in it, and the-
No, I don't know.
Help me, educate me, I don't know.
I don't know, I'm a baby. I don't know.
We're so, look, we're so tight on time.
I haven't even said my fork review yet, right wise?
Yeah, no, you haven't said your fork score.
I gotta pee.
So, well, and that's an issue too.
So we, so.
Is that in porn?
Yeah, hey, that could, that might be,
I mean, there's a lot of things that could be in it.
So that might be one of the things.
I don't know.
I just, that's why. I'm pretty sure that I think there might be, I mean, there's a lot of things that could be in it. So that might be one of the things. I don't know. I'm just, that's why.
I'm pretty sure that I'm, I think there might be like a tit in porn.
A tit?
Like a cow?
Was there a cow in there? There might be more?
A single tit.
There might be, look, why?
Cause whether I've watched porn ever in my life or not, um, I have gone to Buffalo
Wild Wings, we know that for a fact.
Yes. You've gone with me. I've gone with you. You've gone Wings. We know that for a fact. Yes.
You've gone with me.
I've gone with you.
You've gone with me, you know I've had it.
Yeah.
How many forks?
For me, I'm going up from my last visit
and I kind of got nostalgic for it.
And I'm going for what they're trying to do,
which is like, do any chain restaurants work in this,
or is it now, have we gotten to the point
where like a fancy restaurant in LA will last
for like five years and then it will go away?
Is that like what chain restaurants are gonna become?
I don't know, because I really don't,
Buffalo Wild Wings is a huge chain,
and I don't even think it's on hard times,
but I just feel like people aren't going to anymore,
but that's maybe because I just am not going.
So I have no idea, but I like it and I wanna go back.
I would love to go to Buffalo.
The three of us went to Buffalo Wild Wings together,
I think it would be a blast.
Oh yeah, watching some NHL game maybe.
It would be fun.
What a hoot that would be.
Throwing back a couple IPAs.
Yeah.
Minnesota Wilds on.
Or maybe a different team.
Or it could be a different team.
Could be the Oilers.
What if the Boston Bruins are playing?
Boston Bruins.
I would be happy.
Maybe my Los Angeles Kings.
I don't watch hockey, but I would claim them as mine.
Kopitar.
Sure, there you go.
Now imagine if the LA Kings met King Henry VIII.
Think of it go, a little something like this.
Four, four.
Well, excuse me. Excuse me, a little something like this. Four, four. Well, excuse me.
Excuse me, young man. Stop skating!
You fucking piece of shit!
That's the NHL players?
You piece of shit!
You're probably a little more colorful than that.
Have you seen Slapshot lately?
I have not, but I love Slapshot.
That movie is fucking nasty.
Is it really? That movie is fucking nasty.
Wow.
Is it really?
That movie, talk about movies that can't be made now.
You couldn't make a single scene from that movie now.
It is like the 70s rolled up into a blunt covered in jazz.
It is like the most foul, foul movie.
Makes me wanna put it on.
It is fucking nasty.
Wow.
I loved it back in the day. It's crazy bad.
I would love to, look, Slapshot is a four-forker for me.
Well, Slapshot maybe back in the day, four and a half forker.
Yeah, it's definitely, yeah.
But...
Jemmy is below your seat, she is looking up at you.
She wants me to just finish my thoughts.
Yeah, finish your thoughts.
Just say it.
Give her the moment.
Four forks.
Four forks, four forks for Buffalo Wild Wings.
It's a Golden Play Club member for me.
Okay.
I get not, we gave it three last time,
I get not going there.
We're, look, look, I think we're gonna be ballpark buds here
cause we're all in the same neck of the woods.
I will say that the last time we reviewed B-Dubs,
I was a little bit down on it versus our first experience,
which was great, but that was in-person
versus COVID lockdown.
But also last time we reviewed it,
and I found this in the notes,
I had a special lunchtime award
that I don't think I've ever brought back.
And I feel like where would it be more fitting,
but on our next review of Buffalo Wild Wings
to revive Weiger's Little Nibbles at Noon,
which is my award for a great lunchtime treat.
And I got to give it to the All American Cheeseburger.
Well, All American Cheeseburger
gets Weiger's Little Nibbles at Noon.
I would get that burger again.
I can't believe that the-
Fantastic burger.
I can't believe it didn't come back.
It's gonna be a staple of the podcast from here on out.
If I get a lunch, I'm giving out a Weiger's
little nibbles at noon.
And I also do think my overall experience
was better than last time,
but I don't think it's quite in Golden Plate Club territory.
Okay.
I think this is a fun concept.
You love this burger, but okay.
I love the burger.
I thought the wings were fine.
They were well made,
but honestly, talking about what this place is trying to do,
Wings is in the name, Buffalo Wild Wings.
Big wing chain, I'd rather go to Wingstop.
I just think Wingstop has a better execution.
I think they have a more streamlined concept.
Buffalo Wild Wings, a lot of their menu is,
there's a bunch of stuff that doesn't need to be on there.
It's unga pochka.
Wingstop really, just the thing of being like,
hey, we're just a storefront.
We get the wings, you get the fuck out of here.
Really worked out for them in the last five years like, hey, we're just a storefront. You get the wings, you get the fuck out of here. Exactly.
Really worked out for them in the last five years.
Absolutely did, yeah.
I mean, just that's how the cookie crumbles sometimes.
Somehow, Weigar's little nibbles at noon
is grosser than feeding the baby.
I don't know how, but it's fucking disgusting.
Yeah, in a way it kind of is.
It's like, it's like,
hee hee.
Okay, Uncle Nick.
If you were to whisper that to a baby, It's like, it's like, okay, Uncle Nick.
If you were to whisper that to a baby, that would be bad.
Like, like a five year old, like you want to do Uncle Nick's nibbles at noon?
It'd be like, slap you and go play Fortin.
I'm going to be in head-on in clubs with Johnny Pemberton and I'm gonna say three and a half forks
for Buffalo Wild Wings.
It's a good experience.
Yeah.
And you're brave for choosing to have this
because it is a very heavy meal
that I think gave us all various spouts of intestinal distress.
You get the Doughboy's Bravery Award.
Yeah.
Well, you know, I think for me wings is about,
part of the enjoyment is knowing that I'm gonna be,
it's gonna hurt.
Yeah, sure.
So it's like this thing where I'm playing a game
with myself saying, okay, so you better enjoy this
because this is a, you enjoy the moment.
It teaches you to enjoy the moment
because you know it's gonna be so bad 12 hours later.
Yeah.
And it was, it was bad.
My thought with all this is just like,
the Hooters and Burbank is closed.
And it just feels like these, like it, to me,
I maybe have to go into a Buffalo Wild Wings
on a Friday night and just see what the deal is,
but it feels like these communal chain restaurants
are kind of dying in a way.
They are, I mean, it's just, you know,
it's a factor of part of what I said earlier.
It kind of makes me sad.
Yeah, and also just the, you know, the long tail of COVID.
Hey, that was our review of Buffalo Wild Wings.
Before we get fully off of it, Emma,
we should acknowledge our video editor, Mike Dorfman.
Yeah, I forgot about this.
Buffalo Wild Wings was the cause of the one and only times
he shit his pants as an adult.
He's going to love this shot out.
I asked permission before I said it.
What sauce did he have?
He can cut it if he wants.
I don't know the sauce.
I could ask him.
I know he just had some wings.
I know it wasn't even a lot of food,
and then it just absolutely destroyed him.
So we have never been to Buffalo Wild Wings together.
Okay, you get up Dr. Sharma.
I should also mention earlier,
we were talking about Tushy,
I tried to shout out the URL and I just said tushy.com.
I looked it up as hellotushy.com.
There you go.
Tushy.com is-
What a guess.
An anal porn site.
You know what that is?
Yeah, what's going on there?
Yeah, yeah.
No, I know that, yeah.
I go to twishy.com all the time.
Every time he's in the toilet.
By the way, why is, I was gonna say this.
I was gonna install, instill?
Instill fear in a person?
Instill dress code.
Institute?
Institute of dress code.
Institute of dress code. Yeah, Institute address code. Institute address code.
Yeah, I didn't know what to go there.
I was gonna say install, that doesn't work either.
We get what you mean.
Linguistics is descriptive, not prescriptive.
So we'd get your meaning from install a dress code,
even if it's not technically correct.
Well, it's because it's, and Natalie was a linguistics minor,
she knows a lot of this stuff much better than me,
but it's like, the whole purpose a linguistics minor. She knows a lot of this stuff much better than me. But it's like, if you, the whole purpose of linguistics
is to try to figure out how people communicate,
not just say what they should be saying.
Not like correct their grammar,
but like if you understand the meaning.
If I say, dogs sit there,
that's not like a proper English sentence,
but you understand my meaning, right?
You get that there's a dog next to you.
I thought that was perfect.
Um, well, the dress code that, uh, the, that I want to buy only is to Jemmy.
I think Jemmy needs to come in with a tie every day.
What kind of bow tie or a long tie?
That would be very cute.
A bow tie or a long tie.
I mean, I don't know.
I don't know.
She, Mitch doesn't want her to be naked anymore.
Yeah.
She needs to put something on.
Makes you uncomfortable.
Makes you uncomfortable.
Very professional with a tie.
That'd be a good look for her.
That's what I'm saying.
Anyways, what is the damn segment for the day?
Mitch, today's segment is Slop Quiz,
Foul Play, Egg-stordinaire, Pass or Quail, Toucan, Play it That Game,
No Egrets Edition, sponsored by Birdfuck.com.
Okay, alright, sponsored by Birdfuck.
Amelia Marino.
Birdfuck?
Birdfuck.com, that's our URL.
Amelia Marino, crafted.
You're the second person in just a couple weeks
to respond very similarly to like what?
That's really cool.
Same title, yeah.
I'm, psh, I like that.
We like it too. So I've got, this is a thing, compiled by Amelia,
this is a two-part quiz.
So we'll start with some bird-related chew or false.
So you can chime in with your name
after I read the question and say chew.
So I say my name to buzz in?
Yeah, to buzz in, yeah.
And then say chew or false.
I'm gonna smoke you on this just so you know.
Wow, I love this.
I like the competitiveness, we'll see.
Okay, first up.
A true duckin' is a dish consisting of-
Johnny.
It's a turkey.
Yep.
With a duck.
And a chicken.
All right, this was a true or false question.
Oh.
Oh.
Do you want me to read the rest of it?
Yeah, I guess so.
A turducken is a dish consisting of a deboned duck
stuffed into a deboned chicken stuffed into a deboned turkey.
Is that true?
That's, it's true or false?
Yeah.
Yeah, Johnny True.
Mitch, false. Mitch gets it. It's- What? They did Yeah, Johnny True. Mitch False.
Mitch gets it.
What?
They did it the wrong order.
The chicken goes inside the duck.
That's right.
Which you don't think, you're thinking of like,
oh, well a duck would be smaller than a chicken.
It's like, no, a duck's bigger than a chicken.
Johnny, there's one thing you didn't think of,
that this game is complete bullshit.
Also, that's true, but also if you roll back the tape,
I did say turkey, duck, chicken. Yeah, roll back the tape, I did say turkey duck chicken.
Yeah, do you get it?
I'll just, you know what?
I'm just gonna say no one gets that one.
Okay, yeah, cool, yes.
That was a warmup round.
Yeah, that'll be, okay.
Next up, number two,
buffalo wings have no relation to the animal,
true or false?
Mitch. Johnny.
I heard Mitch.
True.
They're from Buffalo, New York.
Yes, you are correct.
You get it.
I was going to say the same fucking thing,
bitch.
Number three, this is a quick one.
Your boy hears, oh, I heard Mitch first.
How'd it go?
It is illegal to eat eagle.
Johnny.
I heard Johnny.
Yes. It's illegal to eat eagle. Johnny. I heard Johnny.
Yes.
Pfft.
It's illegal to eat eagle.
It is true, I will give it to you.
The 1940 Bald and Golden Eagle Protection Act
forbids hunting, poaching, and possession of eagles.
Next up.
Gastones are male chickens that have been castrated
and fed a rich diet to improve the quality of their flesh
for a more flavorful taste.
Mitch.
I heard Mitch.
Wait, what was the?
It's, it's, it's, it's, it's-
These are all true or false?
They're all true or false.
They're all true or false.
Uh, shit.
By the way, no one has said it, but I'm gonna say chew.
Oh, you're right.
Yeah, that's what I'm supposed to do.
Mitch, you're wrong.
Do you lose a point?
I think you lose a point.
I lose a point?
I think you lose a point, because otherwise then you could just buzz in first each time
and then guess whatever and have no consequence.
You lose a point, so you're down to zero.
They're called Capone's.
Gaston is a character from Beauty and the Beast.
I knew Gaston was a, I knew it was Reid and the Beast,
but I thought maybe that's where he got the name from.
Right now you look like LeFou with that answer.
I played LeFou in my, in, in, when I was,
summer theater camp, I played LeFou.
By the way, ever since you talk about eating eagle,
my stomach has been growling.
Really is growling.
Yeah, we got him.
He tried to eat eagle, sir.
Yep, we got him.
Two more true or false questions.
Number five, flamingos can drink near boiling water.
Johnny.
This is just tough.
Go ahead, Johnny.
I'm gonna say false. No. This is just tough. Go ahead, Johnny. I'm going to say false.
No, it is true.
How the fuck do they know that?
They can drink water at near boiling point to collect fresh waters from springs and geysers.
Tough skin on their legs prevents burns.
I didn't know that.
Wow, that's cool as hell.
What a fact.
I should have known.
It's so specific.
It had to be true.
Yeah.
That's what I thought with the Gaston one though.
All right, you both have zero, last one.
Canadians as recently as the late-
You both have zero, last one?
All right, here we go.
Canadians as recently as late 1800s studied augury
and used the behavior of chickens to predict the future.
Johnny.
Go ahead, Johnny.
It's in your hands.
No, it's false.
This was kind of a trick one because this was a practice.
Come on.
But this was not Canadians, this was ancient Romans.
The sacred chickens of Rome were known as the Polarius.
Okay, let's just say we're gonna throw out
the previous round, this was all a warmup.
Did you write these?
No, these are all from Amelia Marina,
our associate producer.
We have-
Should I fire? Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
We have, okay, the rest of these are worth double points.
Players are allowed to consult a wingman for assistance.
I guess that's Casey or Emma.
Casey or Emma, I guess.
Okay, okay, first one.
Should I not be looking at the answers in my email?
All right, so it's just Casey.
Your wingman is Casey.
Okay.
Number seven, an ostrich egg is the largest egg
of any living land animal and can weigh as much as three
pounds at around six inches long.
And an ostrich egg is equivalent to,
I mean, you can buzz in if you want,
you don't even know what I'm asking.
Yeah, these aren't true or false, right?
These are open-ended, yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Oh, there you go.
So I guess I get to listen, I get to answer.
Yeah, Johnny gets to answer first.
An ostrich egg is equivalent to how many chicken eggs?
Closest guess wins.
An ostrich- Equivalent to in what?
Weight or size?
I think in, I mean, it just says equivalent to how many?
I'm guessing in terms of weight.
I'm gonna throw this question out
because it hasn't been specified.
How can I possibly answer it?
Because I'm a, I'm a tomboy.
How many chicken eggs would it take
to get the same food value as an ostrich egg?
If you're like making scrambled ostrich.
I'm telling calories here or jewels.
I will throw that one out.
Number eight, a squab is another name for what
common bird whose meat is considered a delicacy
in some countries.
I do know this one.
Mitch.
Pigeon.
Mitch, you are correct.
You get double points, two points.
You are the lead, two to zero.
Can I also, I want to say 50 eggs for the ostrich eggs.
Just out of curiosity.
Do you want to, this doesn't count.
Do you want to take a guess?
I'm going to say 30.
Johnny would have won.
I mean, Price is Right rules.
You both would have lost.
It's 24 eggs.
Mm.
Kefir.
Like Kefir Southerland or the yogurt drink? Mary Lynn Ricegub was on 24.
That's right.
Your friend.
Yeah.
Our past guest.
Our friend.
Our friend.
Our friend.
I can say our friend.
We've met a couple of times.
I shouldn't have podcast twice.
Our friend.
Number nine, which organ is harvested in duck or goose in the popular French delicacy known as-
Johnny!
Oh.
The liver.
It is the liver.
You are both knotted up into a piece.
Wow.
Number 10, this one, we'll decide it all
if there is a tiebreaker.
Molly Shiler holds the world record
for eating how many wings in a 30 minute period?
Closest guess wins.
Oh, closest guess wins.
Yeah.
89. Mitch, do you wins? Yeah. 89.
Mitch, do you want to guess?
A 30-minute period?
Yeah.
Whew.
I'm going to go just 100.
Mitch wins it, but you both way undershot it.
Wow.
Because of the 2018 Wing Bowl in Philadelphia, Molly Shiler
ate a staggering 501 wings.
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
That's like a backseat of a car or something like that.
So many wings, yeah.
I think that we should, I think,
the competitive spirit is in me.
I think that this bonus question should be for the-
Okay, bonus question to decide it.
Or if you make it three points,
then it would decide it anyway.
Okay, great.
Here it is. Okay, great.
Here it is. Buffalo Wild Wings is owned by the same company as what other chain?
Johnny.
I should know this.
It is Potbelly Sandwiches.
You know what? It might be Potbelly Sandwiches, but the answer here is Arby's.
Wait!
But I'm going to look it up because there are a bunch of different options.
It's Arby's?
Wow, I think I'm-
Rourke Capital owns Inspire brands,
which owns a bunch of different brands,
including I think Culver's.
Let me look it up.
Oh, I feel like I might be wrong then.
I like Pop Belly.
I think the Pop Belly corporation owns Pop Belly.
I think they're still their own thing.
Yeah, I was wrong.
I thought Pop Belly was a good,
I thought that was a good guess.
Hold on, Rourke Capital Group.
I mean, this is one of those grim,
like late capitalism things where it's like, you know.
Yeah, it doesn't like,
there's like three people who own everything anyways.
It's a private equity firm
that owns a bunch of different restaurants
and then also a bunch of different gyms
and like the Mathnasium and then a bunch of weird,
like, you know, environmental and light bulb
and recycling firms.
Anyway, they own Inspire brands.
They own CKE restaurants.
We talked about this, which is Carl's Jr. Hardee's
Green Burrito and Red Burrito.
They also own the Cheesecake Factory.
They own Culver's.
They have a minority investment in Culver's.
They own Jim and Nick's Barbecue restaurants.
And then their big holding is Inspire brands,
which is Arby's and Buffalo Wild Wings,
but also Sonic Drive-In,
Jimmy John's, Dunkin', Mr. Donuts, and Baskin Robbins.
So yeah, I think we're just going to toss that question out and say, it's a draw.
Everyone wins.
More like everybody loses.
With Inspire Brands, you're losing.
Just like a restaurant, I value your feedback.
Let's open to the feedback.
Today's email is from The Finn Man.
The Finn Man writes,
Hi Doughboys, this is Finn from Sacramento,
California's capital.
Stock town.
I often use the same combination of spices
if I've made what I consider to be my signature spice blend.
If you could make a Doughboys branded signature spice blend,
what spices would be
in it?
I know it wouldn't be in it.
The spice melange.
That's true.
Oh!
That's true.
I'd want that.
I want the spice melange.
I do want it, but it's such a valued commodity.
I'm not going to waste it on a Doughboy's spice blend.
Yeah.
I'm going to use it so that my navigators in the spacing guild can fold space.
That's what it does.
Yeah. Yeah, it makes you just trip in balls. Yeah. Oh. It's what it does? Yeah.
Yeah, it makes you just trip in balls.
Yeah.
It's like a psychoactive chemical that lets you,
your brain function like a computer.
That's what folding space is, is like tripping?
No, it's like they're actually doing it.
Oh, got it.
Yeah.
Got it.
Do you know that cats' eyes are blue when they're babies
and they turn green?
Wow.
It's much like the characters in Dune.
Yeah, like reverse Fremen.
The Fremen.
They are. They're very much reverse Fremen.
Nisanagaib!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
And also, they're digging around in kitty litter,
which is a lot like sand in many ways.
It's true.
Nisanagaib!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
Ah!
Ah!
This is a great question,
cause I don't really know the answer to it.
Thank you, Finn, one of the great Star Wars characters.
Um.
Oh my God.
You guys are in deep.
Here's what I was going to say.
I got on the spice blend tip.
So I got a Montreal steak seasoning,
I'm a Cormac one from Costco.
And it was like a big fucking like,
it's like a 40 ounce thing.
Yeah, it is good.
I've been using it for like a year and a half.
This jar is still like a third full.
And I use, I mean, it's not just,
I don't make steaks all that often,
but I will, as an occasional indulgence,
but I use it on chicken, I use it on fish.
Yeah, it works on everything. Yeah.
It's great.
But a Montreal steak blend is like garlic paprika
and just pepper.
Onion flakes?
Yeah.
There's onion flakes in there too?
I don't know if onion flakes is.
I like onion flakes.
I think that's fun.
I think maybe we could create one together here
cause I don't know how well I'm gonna,
look, usually a few episodes.
You are correct, onion flakes are in there. There's only a few minutes left here in the episode.
I think that we can do this.
I mean, I love a homemade lemon pepper dill.
Yeah, lemon pepper dill is fun.
Dill is a nice little, you don't get dill too often,
but I like a nice dill.
Throw some garlic in there too, why not?
I'm a huge garlic guy.
We need garlic in this, in this, in this sauce.
What is this?
This is a spice. It's the signature spice blend. I've been making a cilantro lime dip. We need garlic in this, in this, in this sauce. What is this? This is a spice.
It's the signature spice blend.
I've been making a cilantro lime dip.
How fun is that?
It's pretty good.
So this is, so this is, this is a dry,
like a dry rub, basically.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, yeah, you know, that's a,
I honestly like, I like the, I'll buy just a fucking,
it's, they're easy to make on your own too,
but like I'll buy just like a pre-made spice blend.
Sure. It's just like super easy to season your food
and you don't have to think about it.
So right now we got garlic, we got dill,
and then, did you want lime in there?
I think lemon zest.
Lemon zest, okay.
That gives you that lemon, that pop.
Yeah.
Lemon zest, garlic, dill.
This is interesting.
I think we gotta put some heat in here.
Yeah, because I'm a bit of a heat seeker.
Chilli flakes.
Cayenne.
Yeah, a little cayenne. A little cayenne.
Cayenne and chili flakes, why not?
I also really like a smoked paprika.
Not just a paprika, but a smoked paprika.
All right, we got smoked paprika.
We got chili flakes.
We got cayenne.
We got dill.
We got lemon zest.
Touch of cumin.
Throw some cumin in there.
Just a little though, just a little bit.
Cause cumin's, that's a, it takes up a lot of room.
Hold it in.
It takes up a lot of space.
It's like Baron Harkonnen.
You need those tensors to get human in there.
Human, I like that.
You know what I'm gonna say?
Yeah.
Oh, we said, did we say onion?
Yeah, well, we didn't, but we should throw it in there.
Some onion?
Dehydrated onion.
Dehydrated onion, I like too.
That's pretty good.
I'm an onion powder guy. Maybe we do both.
Sure, why not?
This is gonna be like everything
but the kitchen sink spice rub.
It is, it's a lot.
You know what we call this spice blend?
Unga Pachka.
Doughboy's Unga Pachka spice blend.
It's our version of everything spice.
We're here with the brand man.
We're here with the brand man.
Let's go branding.
Honestly, I'd be interested if I saw this spice blend
at the market.
I'd be pretty interested.
Especially if it had you guys' logo on there.
Yeah, we've got our little fat cartoons on there.
These little fat fuckers on there.
These little virgins back there.
If George, this freaking Georgie O'Clooney can do a tequila, what's stopping you guys from doing spice?
I think it's pretty good.
I think it's pretty good. I think this is a fun question, a fun exercise. It's challenging because it's like you start to think of all the spices you like, but it's like when you're making your fucking chipotle bowl, it's like, well, if I get everything, this is just going to be madness.
I got to exercise some restraint.
Are we good with that? Is there one more thing we're missing?
I mean, how about some salt and pepper?
Well, salts, you have to have salt.
Yeah, you gotta have that in there.
I think that's maybe implied.
Filler, maybe a little xanthan gum,
some maltodextrin.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, you want to throw some more additives in there.
Yeah, a little anti-cake in there.
Oh, maybe, you know what?
I got one last thing that we could throw in there.
Some sort of Parmesan-y, some sort of cheesy element.
I worry about it spoiling at that point, right?
You want it to be shelf stable.
Shit, all right, fine, fine, fine.
I was just trying to have some fun.
You could have like a yeast.
What's it called?
A nutritional yeast, yeah.
Yeah, but that could work.
That could work.
That is fun.
I was just trying to have some fun.
Forget it, let's just end the episode.
You really fucked up that whole thing.
Trying to have fun there.
If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, you can email
us at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE.
That's 830-463-6844.
And you can get the Dough Boys double our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018
back catalog.
Subscribe at patreon.com slash dough boys.
Our producers Emma Erdbrink,
our associate producers Amelia Marino,
our engineers Casey Donahue,
our video editor is Mike Dorfman,
who shit his pants from Buffalo Wild Wings.
That's right.
Yeah.
The oven fries guy, let's go Brandon, he's here.
Putting on sunglasses.
Putting on sunglasses.
Putting on a Waffle House hat, which we did not discuss.
Have you guys ever done Waffle House?
We have, we did it in the South with Carl
and with a molasses boy on the cloud. Molasses boy. If you wanna do it again, House? We have. We did it in the South with Carl and with Molasses Boy.
Molasses Boy.
If you want to do it again, I'll come back.
I would love to do it again.
I had a great experience at Waffle House.
There's none out here.
It's a promise you can't go.
Yeah.
How have they not, when LA does all, every chain eventually makes it here.
How has Waffle House never done it?
Yeah, we have worse versions of all the national chains now.
We have a lot of chains we don't have here. Aren't there like.
I mean Culver's we mentioned earlier is not out here.
So there's some of the ones, I think it's good that some stuff stays regional.
Yeah, I think it should.
Cause we don't want like in the same, look Mitch, I'm going to take a shot at you,
but like there's this shitty Dunkin' Donuts out here.
We don't need a shitty Waffle House out here.
I kind of like the Dunkin' Donuts.
It's fine.
Yeah.
That's fine.
Cause Waffle House is kind of, it's rough.
Yeah.
Yeah. I just, I would like to have Waffle. I, that's fine. Cause one house is kind of nice. It's, it's, it's a, it's rough. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I just, I would like to have waffle.
I love waffles.
I love it. I love it. Love it.
It would be, it would also be just like insane and hard to go to.
And it would be packed constantly.
There was one waffle house.
Oh my God. It was so packed.
The worst. Well, we went to that fucking, uh, what the one cracker
barrel in Southern California when we went out there.
And then, yeah, it was, it was a madhouse.
Uh, our guest today, Johnny Pemberton, Fallout is now streaming on Prime Video.
Plug the show. Congratulations on the show.
It's such a cool franchise.
Very cool, very fun, very wild, very big.
Big scope. Fun watch.
Wow.
It's gonna be interesting to see what people think about.
I think they're gonna like it.
You know what I'm looking at?
Two breakout characters
from two post-apocalyptic video game adaptations.
We're video game adaptations. Oh!
We're video game brothers, it's true.
It's true.
Twisted Metal and Fallout.
That's right.
Stupid satiists.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh my God, that's true.
Yeah, hell yeah, dude.
It's the future. Congratulations.
That's cool.
Anything else you wanna plug?
I got a bunch of shows coming up,
but I'm trying to get the exact dates.
I think I had shows in New York in July
at the Soho Playhouse,
and I got some shows in the Midwest in September,
but you can see them on my website, johnnypemberton.dog.
Or you can, which is, that's what it is.
Or you can look it up on my Instagram,
which is just my name.
You'll see it.
If you wanna go, you'll find it, you know what I mean?
There you go.
I love it. Wow. Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys. Until to go, you'll, you'll, you'll find it. You know what I mean? Wow. There you go. I love it. Wow.
Hey, that'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.
Until next time for the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell, I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eating.
See ya.
Want to dress like the Doughboys?
Get all your favorite Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.com.
Sources for the intro are in the episode description.
That was a HitGum Podcast.