Doughboys - Mr. Charlie's Told Me So with Jackie Johnson
Episode Date: April 18, 2024Jackie Johnson (@jackiemichelejohnson, How to Get a Second Husband) joins the 'boys to talk celebrity dog walking, The Sims, and being vegan before a review of Mr. Charlie's. Plus, another ed...ition of Slop Quiz.Click for Austin TicketsClick for Dallas TicketsWatch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-1989-01-05-vw-153-story.htmlhttps://www.designrush.com/best-designs/logo/mcdonalds-logohttps://blog.logomyway.com/mcdonalds-logo-history/https://www.hatchwise.com/resources/the-history-of-the-mcdonalds-logo-and-the-companyhttps://www.zenger.news/2023/05/05/psychologist-explains-reason-behind-mcdonalds-famous-red-and-yellow-logo/https://thedieline.com/blog/2023/4/24/mr-charlies-the-vegan-fast-food-joint-that-looks-familiar-but-is-unlike-anything-youve-seen-beforehttps://www.latimes.com/food/story/2022-03-16/vegan-mcdonalds-los-angeles-tiktokSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
This is a HeadGum Podcast.
Want to watch this episode?
Check it out on our YouTube channel at youtube.com slash doughboys media.
Munch Madness is presented by Factor.
Mitch eating better is easy with factors.
Delicious ready to eat meals.
Every fresh never frozen meal is chef crafted, dietitian approved and ready to go in just
two minutes.
Wags, when I want to eat easy to prepare delicious meals, you know what factors into my diet?
What's that?
Factor.
You'll have over 35 different options to choose from every week, including gallery smart,
protein plus and keto.
Also there are more than 60 add-ons to help you stay fueled up and feeling good all day
long.
That's right.
What are you waiting for?
Get started today and get after your goals.
Wigs, Factor has two minute meals. Fill up fast with Factor's restaurant quality
meals that are ready to heat and eat whenever you are. Pancakes, smoothies, and
more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like
breakfast, midday bites, and more. You said pancakes, smoothies. I was like I'm in and
then you added more? I was like are you kidding me? Now we're getting out getting out of control. No prep. No mess meals factor meals are ready to heat and eat
So there's no prepping cooking or cleanup needed
Flexible for your schedule get as much or as little as you need by choosing your meals every week
Plus you can pause or reschedule your deliveries anytime factor is the perfect solution if you're looking for fast
Premium options with no cooking required.
And sign up and save!
We've done the math!
Factor is less expensive than takeout and every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious
and delicious and wigs.
Munch Madness is presented by Factor!
So what more reason do you need to try Factor?
Head to factormeals.com slash doughboys50 and use code doughboys50 to get 50% off.
That's code doughboys50 at factormeals.com slash doughboys50 to get 50% off.
Thank you, Factor. We love you.
Thank you for presenting Munch Madness.
Thank you for presenting Munch Madness. We love you.
One of the brothers knew more about potatoes than anyone in the world.
I don't think French fries will ever be that good again." This was architect Stanley Clark Mestin
describing one of the eponymous McDonald Brothers as quoted in a 1989 LA Times
profile by Dirk Sutro. Mestin had a lengthy, esteemed career in his field but
is remembered for creating the architectural feature that evolved into
the most famous logo and fast food, the Golden Arches.
Opting to take a flat fee as payment as opposed to a revenue share,
Mestin's stroke of branding genius ultimately only knitted in fractions of a penny on the dollar,
a financial fate paralleled by the McDonald Brothers themselves,
who were purged from their own company by craven philanderer Ray Kroc,
much like how Eduardo Saverin got blocked from Facebook by Mark Zuckerberg.
As important as the Arches logo itself is the company's colorway. Red and yellow, a stop-slow combo that ironically, according to one psychologist, evokes speed and quickness.
By 1968, the Arches design and its red-yellow palette were effectively set in stone,
and so over the subsequent decades the logo embedded its way into children's brains like a mind flayer parasite, creating lifelong associations with the brand as a kind of
nourishment absolute. So naturally, when a plant-based McDonald's simulacrum opened in Los
Angeles on Valentine's Day 2022, it chose the red and yellow colors as shorthand, along with a
Helvetica-adjacent font similar to Mickey D's own.
Named for founder Charlie Kim, the brand initially went viral via LizzoReview, and today draws
vegan and vegan-curious diners to its outposts in LA, San Francisco, and Sydney to sample
its frowny meals and not-a-burgers.
In the intervening years, McDonald's has abandoned its own plant-based protein sandwich,
the McPlant, leaving clones like this to fill the void.
Whether the concept's momentum ultimately pushes the Big M back to veggie burgers, or
they instead keep feeding Americans unending demands for cheap, low-quality meat, one has
to admit, Architect Stanley Clark Meston was right about the fries.
This week on Doughboys, Mr. Charlie's. -♪ Doughboyz theme music playing. -♪
-♪ Doughboyz theme music playing. -♪
-♪ Doughboyz theme music playing. -♪
Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host,
director of the Oscar nominated calzone of interest,
Jonathan Bathtub Glazer, the spoon man, Mike Mitchell.
Jonathan Bathtub?
Yeah, like your glazing tub.
Oh, Glazer, Bathtub Glazer.
Bathtub Glazer.
Sorry. Alex from Seattle sent that in, roastatbirdfuck.com.
Why did I just pick up on the Jonathan bathtub?
When glazer was the word I should have been thinking of.
That's what you're glazing, bathtubs.
Calzone of interest.
Get it?
I know, I got it, I guess.
Calzone of interest about food.
Yeah, yes.
The movie about the Holocaust movie,
there's a joke on that.
Yeah.
That's what that was a play on,
the Holocaust movie. That was a play on.
The like, very hard to watch a movie that is very sad.
We changed it to Cal,
this guy changed it to Calzone of interest.
Yes, and then the director who gave a, you know,
a fiery speech at the Oscars,
Jonathan Bathtub Glazer about jacking off.
I think this is a perfect-
Spoon joke and a jack-off joke.
I think it's the perfect roast.
I think it's a pretty good roast.
Yeah, Alex, thanks for sending that in.
Jonathan Bathtub Glazer.
I haven't glazed the tub, oh, not true.
Dude.
I did recently.
Not this morning, Wags.
Let me tell ya.
Hey, good for you.
You took a break?
Give yourself a day off every now and then.
This morning I get in, this morning,
technically before noon.
Sure.
I get in the shower, ice cold shower.
Oh boy.
And it's the, I guess, I don't know,
I don't know if we have any plumbers who listen to the show,
but I-
We do have some plumbers who listen to the show.
All right, well I need your help,
because I think there's a tankless water heater at my place.
Okay.
Now I hear that can be like both a blessing and a curse.
To me it feels like it's only been a curse.
Yeah, people are like, oh tankless,
that sounds so futuristic,
but then it's got all sorts of problems.
Well then where's the water if there's no damn tank? That's what I want to know Jackie
Yeah, where's the fucking water? Water if there's no tank?
I'm with you on this
Your plumber out there. Give us some answers. Where's the fucking water? My gets every like every year
I think you had to I think you're at the service then maybe that's why it gets cold every year
But but like this happens every year your heat could could be out, your gas could be out.
That could be an issue.
It could be the gas, shit, good.
Your whole house could be burnt up right now
because there's a gas leak.
Wally and Irma is at house.
They're fine, Wally and Irma are fine.
I should probably head out for the day.
Check your ring cam.
He isn't gonna actually do it now.
There are two notifications.
Okay.
Uh-oh.
Let me tell you, Wags.
Yeah.
It was some worm hibernation.
You okay?
You can retake it.
Are you cold?
Yeah.
From your cold shower?
There was some worm hibernation, I was gonna say.
My dick turned into like a walnut.
Got it, I got it.
Got it.
You're playing that a little too subtle there.
I was very, it was like the coldest shower
I've ever taken in my life.
It was, it was horrifying.
So you just went for it, you were just like,
well, I guess I gotta shower, and Pac committed.
Here's the issue, I didn't shower yesterday,
I was cleaning my place up,'re just like, well, I guess I got to shower. And Pac committed. Here's the issue. I didn't shower yesterday.
I was cleaning my place up.
I was like being good.
Like I spent the whole day cleaning it up.
And then I was like, I'm not gonna shower.
This is a gross mess today.
I'll shower tomorrow morning.
You go to bed all gross then?
Cause I would want to shower before you go to bed.
Yeah, I know.
I get that, but I was just whatever.
Yeah, I get it.
You're fatigued.
Yeah, yeah. And I want to shower before I came here.
Sure, naturally.
Yeah. I guess I could do a night shower
and then a morning shower, but whatever.
I was going to bed.
Isn't that gross?
Yes.
That's gross?
Yes, it is.
It's fucking disgusting.
I'll clean the sheets.
I clean my sheets.
I don't glaze my sheets.
Now you made more work for yourself, though. You have to go home and change your damn dirty sheets. Yeah, I clean my sheets. I don't glaze my sheets. Now you made more work for yourself though,
you have to go home and change your damn dirty sheets.
Yeah, that's all right.
But I get in the shower, ice, just ice,
the coldest cold you could imagine.
Yeah.
Before it turns to ice, it was the coldest cold.
Have you ever done a cold plunge?
No.
Because those are supposed to be really good
for your immune system. Oh wait Have you ever done a cold plunge? No. Cause those are supposed to be really good for your immune system. Oh wait, have I, I've done a polar plunge
when, in New Year's, we were down Cape Cod
and it was truly one of the worst.
I ran into the ocean, but it was low tide.
Yeah.
And so I was like running into the ocean.
I could feel it like on my legs.
I was like, fuck, this fucking hurts.
And then like had to run out far enough
to just like get under the water. Yeah. And I thought I was gonna have a heart attack. It was not, it was this fucking hurts. And then had to run out far enough to just get under the water.
And I thought I was gonna have a heart attack.
It was not good.
Do you do, are you a cold plunger?
Hell no.
I'll sometimes do,
I'll do the steam room at the gym
and then I'll go over and go right into a cold shower.
That's fun. That's refreshing.
Oh, that's fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that's not as extreme, I don't think.
Cold plunger, I think, is its own thing.
Where's the steam shower? Are you hitting up? is its own thing. Where's the steam shower?
You're hitting up.
What?
I said, where's the steam shower?
The gym, he said the damn gym.
Oh, he said gym, I didn't hear ya.
Yeah.
All right, the gym.
Could you introduce me or what?
Mitch has a drop to play.
This feels awkward.
Mitch has a drop to play.
What gym you go to?
No, don't worry about it.
He don't dox my fucking gym.
Yeah, he wants some privacy in his life.
I wanna know what fucking gym he goes to.
I'm gonna hit him with a drop.
Fuck about it.
You an equinox guy?
Words and papers, words and books.
I know words.
Kentancorous?
Words on TV, words for books.
I don't know, it's just a great word, Kentancorous.
Words to tell you what to do.
Here's another word for you, condensation.
Words are working hard for you.
Wait, you mean condescension?
Condescending.
I got condensation.
It was very schoolhouse rock.
Very much so.
It was a good drop.
Was that electric company?
What was the source there?
Oh, hold on a second.
Let's see here.
Let me look this up.
Take your time. Let's see here. All right look this up. Take your time.
Let's see here.
All right, well, how many of them look good at the house?
And they're not wearing ventilators.
And I can't find the email.
So I don't know.
Emma.
I sent it an hour.
Here, I got it.
I can't see it.
Hi, DoFam.
I made this drop as a tribute to Mitch's love of words.
Back in 2018, I took a date to your Outside Lands show in San Francisco, and somehow she
agreed to marry me six years later.
Wow!
Our wedding is next month.
Thanks for all the laughs.
Jordan.
Congratulations, Jordan.
Wow.
Perhaps they've tied the knot as of this episode's release because we're recording a little bit
in advance.
Wow.
How about that?
Congratulations.
I hope you get a prenup.
Drops at birdfuck.com.
Our guest from NatchButte, her new live show is How to Get a Second Husband.
Speaking of prenups.
You can see How to Get a Second Husband live April 21st in Dallas and April 28th in Austin.
Jackie Johnson is back.
The Jackster. The Jackster.
The Jackster.
And now, because podcasts are all video now,
I'm being filmed.
So y'all can check this out, youtube.com.
People are gonna love it.
Flashdowboys.com.
There you go.
Oh yeah, check it out.
See how I'm looking these days.
Check out that video.
Well, they certainly don't come to see how we're looking.
Hey, listen, the legs on Weiger are looking really good.
Thank you.
The gym is paying off.
Yeah, he won't tell me what gym this is.
We'll talk about it afterwards.
Why don't you fucking say it in front of all our listeners?
Oh, you're afraid that the fans, you're afraid dough boys
listeners are going to come to your gym?
Mitch, I had this incident.
I said this in the blank dough text thread, our group chat
with the guys at Blank Check. I had an incident. I told I said this in the blank dough text third our group chat with the with the guys at blank check
I had an incident at the gym. I
Brought a change of clothes. What's that? You spill some weights you fucking he's a spilly bitch. You say spill some what some weights
He said spill some whites. That's what I thought it that was like a jacking off thing
Spilling whites That's what I thought. I thought it was like a jacking off thing. No. Spill in whites? Spill in whites? Pretty good.
That's like that bathtub glazer again.
The shower was revolting because Mitch was spilling too much whites in there.
They're like, we're going to be cold only from now on.
Keep them out of here.
Ma, I spilled some whites in my sleep last night.
Someone snuck into my room and spilled whites all over me.
I don't know how it happened.
Anyway.
Wait, what happened?
What was the story?
Here's the story.
I was in the blank dough thread.
I relayed this previously.
I went to the gym, and I brought a change of clothes.
I did my routine.
I went in the steam room.
I did the cold shower.
Then I do a, you know.
Hog out? Yeah, if I ever- what am I-
I do want to know that.
If you ever hog out on occasion, yeah, you don't have to be like in full view.
Damn.
Now I really want to know this gym.
I'm coming to this fucking gym.
No, I think people are like- and if it was European, I think everyone would have their hogs out.
I think in an American thing, people are a little bit more modest.
No, you just never know. There's people who are just like blow-drying their hogs out. I think in an American thing, people are a little bit more modest. You just never know.
There's people who are just like blow drying their pubes
freely and then there's more like covering up.
I'm not that guy, but I'm also not the guy
who's got the towel wrapped around his waist
while he pulls down his underwear
and pulls on a new pair of underwear.
Like I'm not that modest. That's me.
That's me. That's me.
If I have to like, if I have to like, whatever,
I'll drop the towel for a second and get changed.
Anyway, this relates to that
because I did not bring a change of underwear.
So I took my shower, I went to get dressed,
I had my civilian clothes
and I forgot to bring clean underwear.
So I was like, I guess I'll fucking free ball it out of here.
So I walk out, no underwear on and a fan approaches me
and says like, oh my God, like, hey, I just saw you working
out, I didn't want to say anything,
but I want to say, and and he had a conversation with me.
While you were nude?
While you were free balling.
While I, oh no, I had pants on,
but I had no underwear on, so I feel completely exposed.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That fan is now listening to this episode going,
that was me!
You had pants on!
I know, but I felt very exposed.
You ever wear pants without underwear? It's a weird feeling. All the time. I'm, but I felt very exposed. You ever wear pants without underwear?
It's a weird feeling.
All the time.
I'm just kidding, I never do.
It's perverted.
Yeah.
Hogs out is a good knives out, the porn parody.
It is, it's good.
Yeah.
No one actually fucks in the end.
There's no real mystery.
There's no fucking here.
This is dumb, no one's fucking.
But are the hogs out?
The hogs are out.
The hogs are out, for sure.
Jackster.
Gotta get to this fucking gym.
I'm gonna search some gyms here.
Not in his area.
That's gyms in his area.
Jackster, it's been a little bit since we had Yann, we talked about creation last time.
Are you still frequenting creation, the juicery?
I don't leave my house much.
Okay, sure.
But when I'm in the area, you better believe it baby.
I get that orange sunrise smoothie with the vegan protein
and the coconut water that tastes like Zeus's Jizz.
Yeah. Oh, right.
Yes, always.
I still am a fan, yes.
Wow, okay. We had kind of a Zeus-y jizz. Yeah. Oh, right. Yes, always. I still am a fan, yes.
Wow, okay.
We had kind of a Zeus-y jizz item today.
Yes, we did. We certainly did.
Save it.
When you were saying we talked about creation,
I forgot that it was that,
and I was like- The Zeus place.
And I didn't even bat an eye.
I was like, yeah, I guess we just talked about
the creation of life or some shit.
I thought we were going to the Old Testament?
I mean, I thought maybe we were talking
about the Old Testament when I first heard.
I keep slamming on Jemmy as I emphasize points.
I don't mean to, she's liking it.
I think she's okay with it.
Yeah, she's fine.
Do y'all remember the episode before that, what we did?
Mm.
Menchies?
Oh, Menchies, of course, of course,
remember Menchies. Menchies, yeah.
Menchies. I like Menchies.
I also haven't been back there in a long time.
That's a whole thing where I think post-COVID,
I just have a very different approach towards self-serve.
Yes.
Like I'm just like,
and we've done some salad bars and such on the podcast,
but like a self-serve yogurt shot seems very unhygienic.
I wonder if they still even have out the toppings
and whatnot.
Yeah, I don't know.
Some of the places do it behind the counter now,
but I don't know if menchies has migrated
to that sort of a model.
I did like menchies.
I thought menchies was fun.
I did like menchies. Menchies is fun, yeah that sort of a- I did like Menchie's. I thought Menchie's was fun. I did like Menchie's. Menchie's is fun, yeah.
I think we gave it four spoons.
We maybe did.
We were pretty emphatic about our fandom of Menchie's back then,
but I haven't returned to it, not since the podcast.
That was pre-COVID?
Yeah, that was-
Y'all have me on every three years.
So I was here in 2018, 2021, and now 2024. Here we are.
Every three years?
Yeah. We got to have the frequency there. We got to have the frequency. The now 2024. Here we are. Every three years? Yeah.
We got to have the frequency here.
We got to have the frequency.
The show sucks.
I'm available.
I wait patiently by the email.
Like it's three years, any minute now,
I'm gonna get that email.
And it's here, I'm here.
From our perspective, we always feel like
we're bothering people when we ask them to do the show.
You are.
But some of us have things to promote.
I have a show to promote,
I'm happy to talk all about it with y'all.
The show is How to Get a Second Husband.
Yes.
Wait, so tell us about the show,
and as of this episode's release,
you'll have done it in LA,
but you're taking it on the road a little bit.
Yes, so in 2018 when I came on, I was with my first husband.
Yes.
2021 I came on, I was with my second husband
and I was pregnant with my child secretly.
Yes.
And now here we are in 2024, I am a mother
and I'm still with the second husband.
This one seems to be sticking.
All right.
So I wrote a show.
It's a motivational Tony Robbins-esque seminar about how to change your life
in order to get a second husband.
That's the way to really do it.
Wow.
So we go through all the steps of what you do
to get to your second husband.
I said this as I was coming in, I saw a car
and there was like a baby on board
looking sticker on the back.
I said, that must be Jackie, she's here.
All people that bear children have to put one of those
stickers on their car, it's California law.
Would you like to share what the sticker says on the-
It says baby up in this bitch.
Which I saw and I was like, oh, it's definitely Jackie.
Yeah, all of them are very nice, it's like little stork,
it says baby and I just saw that one and I was are very nice. There's like little stork, it says, baby.
And I just saw that one.
I was like, yeah.
That's perfect.
It me.
Yeah.
As they say on the memes.
I saw a bumper sticker on the highway a little while back
that said, MILF, man, I love frogs.
That's pretty good.
Oh, wow.
That's good.
I don't know if that's some aquariums thing or what.
I don't know what the source of it was, but.
Man, I love, was it a lady?
Did you catch a glimpse?
I didn't see who it was.
Miss Piggy?
Ah!
That would have been such a good sighting.
It would have been.
Oh, I love her.
Can you imagine?
Yeah, she's great.
I haven't seen a single, have I seen a muppet?
I haven't seen a single muppet since I've been in Hollywood.
Yeah, I've never seen, I've never-
Me neither.
I wonder where they shop.
Well, I've been now 20 years.
I worked at a Jim Henson lot for a while
and on a show and I never saw a Muppet there.
I saw some Fraggles, I saw the dinosaurs,
I saw some Ninja Turtles, but I did not see the-
You ever get confused with that boring ass, um, up at Walter.
Is that the Jason Siegel mucket?
Muppet?
The, the Muppets reboot?
I just thought maybe a few times.
Yeah, maybe that's who the guy at the gym, that's who he thought you were.
Oh, Walter.
He also doesn't wear underwear.
Love the Muppets reboot.
I like most wanted even more.
The birthday boys wanted to, like we talked about having offices at the Henson,
you were on that Henson.
Yeah, yeah.
That's cool.
Kermit is right there at the top of the entrance.
Yes he is.
Yeah, it's like a real, like, it's not the greatest block
because, and you know, right up the street from it
is I think that really, that very high volume Chick-fil-A
and there's like a kind of shitty Burger King right there.
So like, it's not like the best, like the funnest area.
And then there's like a strip club,
like right across the street.
Chick-fil-A is a block over, but still it is,
there's a lot of shit there.
That same general area, but it's,
I like that you know your hyper local fast food geography.
I remember when they put that in there,
that's how long I've been here.
I know. I know.
Because that's also, as someone from the South,
it's like Chick-fil-A was not out here for long.
Yes, yes. It was a huge deal.
Did you ever go to that?
It's a nightmare.
I'm shaking my head no,
I'm sorry for those not watching on YouTube.
When Chick-fil-A opened downtown, it was 2010,
which is the year I went vegan,
and I did go and it got waffle fries
as like a celebratory moment.
Right, that's fun.
That Chick-fil-A I was very excited about
and then going there once, I was like,
I'm not gonna, this is too much.
I maybe had it like three times.
Did the hype ever die down
or is there still huge lines every day?
No, there's still pretty substantial cues.
I mean, it's died down a little bit.
But I think now like the hype is,
the Eye of Sauron is on raising canes as far as-
Oh yes.
But it's still like an in and out for-
People love raising canes.
People love raising canes.
I'm gonna tell you something.
I was on the way to get a CT scan the other night.
Everything's okay, you should tell people,
because they're going to worry just hearing.
Everything's fine.
Uh, they were trying to see where my hog went
after my cold shower.
Way up there.
Wait, is it CTTO head scan or no?
It can be a full body scan.
Did you do a full body?
I did abdomen and chest.
I wanna do one of those full body ones.
They're like 1500 bucks.
Oh man, I do not wanna do that.
I do, I wanna know everything wrong with me.
I'd be so claustrophobic on one of those.
Oh same.
I wanted to get head.
I wanted to get my head scanned. I think it would have been worth it.
Couldn't fit your head in the machine.
The radiation also, I guess, is like,
I mean, it's not like, I guess,
but it still is like not nothing.
Yeah, sure.
It's like a-
No, you don't want to subject yourself
to too many of them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then it turns out that there was nothing wrong.
Nothing was wrong.
I have a bit of a fatty liver, which is weird
because we've hosted a fast food podcast for 10 years.
Yeah, I understand.
But on my way over there, Wags.
Yeah.
Come to a dead stop in the road.
What the hell is this line?
What are people going into?
Can you guess what it was?
It's a chain we've reviewed.
And it's not Raising Cane's.
And it's not Raising Cane's.
And it's not Chick-fil-A. In-N-Out.
It was not In-N-Out.
I feel like there's always lies.
Oh, is it the Starbucks drive-through?
It was not the Starbucks drive-through.
It's kind of an interesting,
it's an interesting weird one.
It's an interesting one.
Yeah.
Okay, so I'm thinking off the beaten path a little bit.
I'm gonna say one of the last
still standing Wiener schnitzels.
Nope.
Hmm.
Is it that sort of category?
Is this fun? Is this fun? I'm on the edge of my seat. Yeahitzels. Nope. Hmm. Is it that sort of category?
Is this fun?
Is this fun?
I'm on the edge of my seat.
Yeah, I'm having a blast.
Is it that category?
Is it like a fast food, fast food chain?
Or is it more of like an upscale sort of,
closer to a Paquito Moth?
It's a fast food, fast food chain, I would say.
Is it a regional chain or is it national?
It's national, international? It's international.
It's international, okay.
Whoa.
I mean, I'm just gonna, I'll guess the big ones.
Your Shinoah beef bowl?
That's a great guess.
That is a great guess.
But it was not that.
I'll guess KFC.
No, but you're in the right direction.
Popeyes?
No, no. Pizza Hut?
Thank you, even, no, but-
Church's chicken? Do you want me to tell you? No, no, no, we Think even, no, but- Church's Chicken? Do you want me to get one way to tell you?
No, no, no, we'll figure this out.
All right, all right.
What are we, when you say we're in the right direction-
We're in an escape room.
Do you mean chicken-wise?
Fried chicken was a good thought.
Fried chicken was a good thought.
Oh, oh, is it that hot chicken sandwich place
everybody goes to?
Is it Dave's? Dave's Hot Chicken?
No, not Dave's, no.
Okay.
Is it the other one?
Right, because we'd have to have a drive-through, right?
Think more internationally.
Panda Express, Bonchon?
No, I think it's that other hot chicken place.
The Korean, is it a Korean hot chicken?
Keep going.
Just tell us.
Well, I guess Bonchon, but it's not Bonchon.
I can't believe you haven't gotten this yet.
Well, I'm sure when I hear it,
I will be like, oh, of course, but it's getting bigger right now.
We've done it twice, I believe.
We've done it twice.
I mentioned churches, I mentioned KFC, Bojangles,
there's not one out here, Popeyes I mentioned.
What can I not see that's right in front of my face?
I think I gotta guess.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, is it El Pollo Loco?
No.
Is that the right region?
That's the right region, but Casey's gonna fucking knock you off right now. Oh, let's see Jollibee. That's right
It was not on Western it was it was
Because it was going the other way it was perpendicular. I reject you calling me an idiot by the way. That's a bad hint
It's not just a fried chicken place also has spaghetti and it's burgers. It has a full fucking menu
I said not a chicken concept, so how dare you say I'm fucking dumb Casey did a good job guessing
But your hit was no help Casey's I said right direction with fried chicken
Jollibee's known for fried chicken
Well we would have gotten it then yeah you fool y'all like Jollibee I do like Jollibee have you had it He made you look like
You look like a damn fool. Oh why because he gets your fucking clue. I don't know he seemed to get it pretty easy
You get it. Yeah, a process of elimination think internationally
Ah Panda Express that is bitch. That's a good guess
Sure thing the California chain yeah, California, but it's an international cuisine you've learned nothing these past ten years
Y'all should just do episodes where you try to guess each other's like restaurants you're thinking of. All right, let me, I'll do it right now.
In-N-Out Burger.
Yeah, you got it.
Uh, Jaxtur, let's recap for us your plant-based diet because that's part of what we're talking about today.
So like, like you're someone who I know was was pretty vegan for a while.
Is that still pretty much the case?
Sorry.
Fucking unloaded one.
Unloaded a silver bullet right during the show, I'm sorry.
That's the loudest I've ever heard somebody
open a drink in my life.
I was like, should I go the slow route?
And then I thought he would be mad.
It was like, just like a,
for 10 seconds. So I was like, like a sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss We're talking about me now? Yes. 2010, New Year's Eve, I had a chicken salad.
That was the last time I consumed the flesh of an animal.
Wow.
I'm so mad at how it went out for you.
Yeah.
2010 chicken salad on New Year's Eve.
And I made it, and I made it,
so it wasn't even like Jollibee or something. A New Year's Eve chicken salad? Yeah. Was it like, when you say chicken salad on New Year's Eve. And I made it, and I made it, so it wasn't even like Jollibee or something.
A New Year's Eve chicken salad?
Yeah.
Was it like, when you say chicken salad,
was it a salad with chicken as a protein,
or like a chicken salad?
No, I went, I was in Malibu, I was house sitting,
I used to be a celebrity dog walker,
I went to that Vons or whatever,
that one grocery store off the PCH,
and I got a bagged salad and a chicken breast,
and I believe I cooked it and then chopped it up
and ate it in a salad.
Wow. Wow.
Oh, I think I was thinking chicken, like mayo chicken.
That's why I asked, bitch.
Oh, no, no.
It was like a grilled chicken spring mix,
which I hate spring mix now.
Yeah, I'm kind of over spring mix.
You're still mad at me over the game?
Yeah, of course.
It wasn't my fault.
This is gonna be a damn mess.
It's mad at me about the game, folks.
You chose to take the taunting route.
I know, it was fun at the end, Casey got it.
That was fun.
I was waiting.
Now you reap what you sow.
I wanted you to get it so bad.
I wanted you to get it.
You should have said that it wasn't just chicken though,
because we were all on the chicken.
Grant ever said it was only just chicken.
He said it was on the right track with KFC.
Review the tapes.
Celebrity dog walker.
So I wanna know some of these celebrity dogs.
Rinton, Tin, Benji.
I actually did walk famous dogs.
Wait, really?
Yeah, I walked acting dogs.
Whoa. Wow.
I walked, I guess it's okay to say this,
cause I didn't sign anything.
I used to walk Pete Wentz's Bulldog Hemingway. Whoa. Whoa. Wow. I walked, I guess it's okay to say this cause I didn't sign anything. I used to walk Pete Wentz's Bulldog Hemingway.
Whoa.
Who was famous.
I would get stopped.
People would be like, that's Hemingway Wentz isn't it?
Really?
They just recognized the dog?
Well he was on merch, he was in the videos.
I think he's on one of their album covers.
He was very, he was a beautiful English Bulldog
that had a very like unique look.
Yeah cause I would just be like, it's a bulldog.
I don't think I could recognize a bulldog.
No, people would always like follow me.
And then people would be wrong too.
Like because I had a bunch of dogs with me,
they would assume I'm walking, you know,
and they'd be like, that's George Clooney's Mastiff
or whatever.
And I'd be like, no, it's not freak.
Did you ever walk Louie dog?
The sublime dog, Lou dog?
I think he had passed.
Oh yeah, that's probably what it was.
Yeah, I think he had passed.
Do you walk the dog from Calzone of Interest?
Oh sorry, Zone of Interest?
I wish.
Snoop?
Snoop, Snoop.
Oh no, that's from the other movie with that lady.
Anatomy of a Fall.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, yes, yeah, yeah.
Did you see that?
I did, I liked it quite a bit.
Did you see Zone of Interest?
I did, I liked Zone of Interest as well.
Sandra Huller, the actor in both movies. Yes, yes.
Wonderful year for her.
I like good movies, Sue.
But you know what I think was the best Oscar movie?
Poor Things.
Get mad at me.
Did y'all see that?
I like Poor Things.
I think it was so much better than all the other ones.
I don't, look, I liked all the Oscar movies.
There was nothing where I was like,
I was like, that doesn't belong here.
Really?
Yeah.
Even Maestro?
I loved Maestro.
Jackster, I'm a huge Maestro head.
Maestro's my favorite movies of last year.
I love the Maestro.
You know what?
Good take there.
I liked all the movies.
This fucking, what the fuck?
I'm talking about the nominees.
It's not always the case.
I know.
I don't like every movie that comes out.
I have movies I dislike.
Name the last movie you saw you disliked.
Let me look through my list.
Whoa, okay. Hold on. I gotta open my Google doced. Let me look through my list. Whoa. Okay. Hold on
I gotta go my Google doc here type a king over so so I say fucking tomorrow
I watched maestro. I couldn't even watch it. I turned it. I did I did Bradley
I didn't like it like yeah, I love it a second chance. Well, no, I don't that I mean it might just not be for you
I mean, I just liked how it's I definitely get why it's polarizing if someone's like
I did not like that movie Natalie did not like not care for it on the same level
I just feel like it was Oscar bait. I could feel him how bad he wanted the Oscar
I kind of disagreed just because I feel like they made a good point about this you you're the blank dough guys
I think it's such a weird like there's a straight forward guys. Yeah, yeah. Well, we are the blank dough guys, primarily.
The blank dough guys make a point.
I think this is that if you're going to try
to create Oscar bait, you make a different movie.
Like this is such a weirdly audacious,
you know, tourist movie. And I know there was like a scene
where he orchestrates for a long, long time.
Yeah, yeah.
Cause I heard him interviewed on Howard Stern about it,
and so that's why I was excited to watch it.
Maybe I should give it a second chance.
You don't necessarily need to.
Okay, movies, last movie I didn't like.
I thought it was okay.
Okay, thank you.
I didn't like Drive Away Dolls.
I thought that was pretty bad.
That was pretty hard to make it through.
Who's in that?
Oh, Qualley.
Yes, yes, yes.
Qualley's the lady.
I like her.
Yeah, I do like her,
but I did not care for that movie.
Let's see.
How many have you seen this year, total?
You a big movie head?
Yeah, because I like watching it.
What's your number right now?
Let's hear it, because we're-
This is what you've seen this year?
As of this record, my count's at 48.
This year?
Yeah.
Oh my God, that's how many movies I've seen, like a decade.
No, no, no, not in the theater.
I want the stuff I'll watch at home too, or rewatches.
I counted it all as one list.
Yeah.
Let's see where my number is at.
I got nothing going on.
What am I supposed to do?
I come here and I do a podcast
and I go home and watch a fucking movie
or play Baldur's Gate.
Who gives a shit?
I hear you.
Still seem to fucking complain about it or no?
Let's see here.
Maybe we had better quizzes on the fucking show.
What do you play?
What do you play?
Baldur's Gate 3.
Baldur's?
Yeah, Baldur's Gate 3.
What's that, a video game?
Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it's don't even.
It's like a role playing game.
It's really good.
I play The Sims.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been playing a long time.
Which Sims do you play?
I play Sims Free Play, which is the iPad version.
Oh, interesting.
I didn't realize there was a mobile one.
Yeah.
Was this something that you played?
I'm trying to find my movie list from this year,
but was that something that you played back in the day
and stuck with you?
I started playing in 2001, Sims OG,
and then I played that a long time, like into college.
I took a break for a decade or so,
and then I got Sims 3 play on my iPad.
Over 10 years ago, I've been playing.
Wow, I almost chimed in, you were a Sims head.
We bonded over this when we worked together.
Our love for Sims, I was gonna say, don, you have a rosebud tattoo from The Sims.
Yeah, I just got it.
This is the money code for free money in Sims original.
I just re-downloaded Sims 4 like a month ago,
and I thought about you the second I did it.
I was like, Jackie, you would be so proud of me right now.
It's a slippery slope.
I just saw they're making a Sims movie,
and I need to get,
I know there's a lot of Hollywood types listening.
I need to be in this movie.
I don't care if I'm background.
Somebody help me get in the Sims movie.
We can make this happen.
Please.
Are they gonna talk Sims-lish in the movie?
I hope, Simlish, I hope.
Cause I'm fluent in Simlish already.
I could nail the audition.
You can't have a full movie where they speak Simlish, right?
Oh, why not?
I don't know. Isn't it like, mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar-mar- with the little bubble over their head, so it's okay. That would be insane for a full movie, but I kind of like it. I like that idea more.
I think you do the hunt for red October,
or you do the dead reckoning.
They do the same thing, where they kind of like push in,
and then they push. Avatar!
They just do the same thing in fucking Avatar.
Way of water. You see way of water?
You're hearing Simlish, and then it turns to English,
or whatever.
We can read subtitles.
We all just sat through a zone of interest.
Why can't we sit through Simlish for an hour? or whatever. No, we can read subtitles. We all just sat through a Zone of Interest. Yeah.
Why can't we sit through Simlish for an hour?
That's true.
Zone of Interest can do it.
Why not The Sims movie?
Exactly.
Very similar themes.
Prisoners being controlled.
Ha ha ha ha.
Call me.
I've watched 24 movies this year.
Oh my god. Good. Which is. I need to make lists. We can watched 24 movies this year. Oh my God. Good.
Which is-
I need to make lists.
We can't say what it is.
You don't like me dating things,
so I'm not gonna say what day today.
I already said we're recording about a month in advance.
It's a mystery day.
Okay, all right, yeah.
And it's, we're in the Ides of March, is that correct?
We're a little after the Ides of March.
I wonder what the fuck is the Ides of March?
I think it's just March 15th.
March 15th.
Oh, hmm.
There's Friday the 14th and the Ides are March? I think it's just March 15th. March 15th. Oh, hmm.
There's Friday the 14th, then the Ides are the 15th. Two big days in a row.
What the fuck are the Ides of March?
Why are we gonna beware of them?
What the fuck is going on?
It's from Caesar.
Yeah, Julius Caesar, the soothsayer is like,
that's when you're gonna get fucking murked.
Oh, that's when it gets murked.
Yeah. Got it, got it.
And Brutus is like, bam!
He's like, etubrute.
Brutus sounds a lot like fucking, uh...
Weigert.
There's the Jolly B.
Brutus was like, Emeril.
Emeril.
Bam!
You remember Emeril?
Legosi?
Yeah, yeah, Emeril.
I'm familiar.
Emeril rocks.
OK, so you mentioned, so you haven't had meat at all,
animal protein, since 2010.
Well, if you count fish, I have had fish.
OK, sure.
Yeah.
What was that?
What did you do, sushi?
I told y'all, yeah.
I told y'all in 2021 that I had a few weak moments
during my divorce where I was having
sushi with David Spade in Hawaii. I was like eating tuna or whatever.
I mean, come on.
Who's gonna turn down sushi with David Spade in Hawaii?
Pay for the whole tab.
Yeah, you gotta do it.
Nobu?
Honolulu?
Are you kidding me?
I'll take two, please.
And I sat next to Rob Schneider
and I didn't know his politics at the time.
It was a fascinating conversation.
I would like to sit down and talk politics with Schneider.
Because I was like, I'm vegan,
but I'm eating fish right now, don't tell me why.
And he was like, the groundwater is poison.
It's actually smart you do that.
It was really interesting.
We had a really interesting conversation.
He's very easy.
Yeah, me and him, I think it was.
We'll get him in the studio.
Yeah.
We'll break it down.
Okay, so that, and then last time I was on Doughboys,
I said I was secretly pregnant,
so I didn't eat sushi or anything.
Right.
By the way, it's secret from us at the time, too.
Yes.
While we were recording it, we did not know.
Yes, yes, it's one of those things
you're supposed to not tell anybody for a while or whatever.
And this fucking guy, he's gonna make some comment
about it on this podcast.
What the fuck do you mean?
Like he's trying to fucking doctor Jim.
Yeah, you'd spill the beans.
You think I'd be like, remember Jackie came?
She's pregnant.
Boobs.
And Emma wouldn't at least stop it.
The show isn't live.
This isn't live?
This is not live.
Oh, shit.
We're also too dumb that we probably wouldn't pick up on you being pregnant ever.
We're idiots. dumb that we probably wouldn't pick up on you being pregnant ever. We're idiots.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it was over Zoom too.
So it's not like you couldn't see or anything.
We'd see you holding a baby and be like, hi baby.
We wouldn't get it.
We're fools.
This guy couldn't even get Jollibee.
Yeah, it's true.
I couldn't either though.
So, okay, so.
He should, he works on the fast food.
I really wanted to try and have a vegan pregnancy.
It was not easy, but I did it.
And then when I was breastfeeding, I wasn't super vegan.
I did eat some eggs and things a couple of times.
I was just trying to get my supply up.
Are you told to, right?
Isn't it like a lot of doctors recommend
that you eat some like a-
Yeah, probably. I mean, the whole time when
you're pregnant, they take your, especially when
you're like older, they take your blood like every
five minutes. And I never told them I was vegan
and I never had any, they never said like, oh,
you're low on iron, blah, blah, blah. So, um,
cause you know, I've been doing it so long. I
know how to not die.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But so then I was on dumbbells semi-recently.
That's right.
Are y'all on a thread with them, the Doebells?
We're not, we could be.
We don't have a Doebells thread.
Yeah, we should start one.
We could make that happen, yeah.
Start one.
And I was telling them that-
Well, I'll say this.
Yeah.
Last night I was just like cleaning up the house
and I looked and I was like,
I only have 30 text messages, not bad.
Oh, wow.
I look at my phone 10 minutes later, 175 text messages.
Wow.
From dough checks?
I mean, it always revolves around.
Not always us.
I mean, we create a lot of text on a daily basis.
Yeah, of course.
When you say sending text is what causes text to arrive.
Of course, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just saying there's a lot.
We don't chat about just out like movies and.
Yeah, food.
Yeah.
Okay. Yeah.
Honestly, it's mostly about food.
It's mostly about food and movies.
I think that's great.
I love when men have friendships and.
I don't know what I would categorize it as.
Interesting.
Ultra coworkers, like extreme coworking.
That's where a lot of adults meet their friends is where. Interesting. Ultra coworkers, like extreme coworking. Extreme coworking?
That's where a lot of adults meet their friends, is where it works.
That's true.
Yeah.
No shame in the game.
No, yeah.
Imagine working at a place with just like one other guy
and like that guy is Wiggs.
There's other people here.
I mean, yeah, I know, I like them.
Casey's here, Emma's here.
I'm like, go.
Oh, they're great. I love them. Go talk to the hunks out there, go talk to the hunks. But I mean, yeah, I know. I like them. Casey's here. Emma's here. Go ahead, go.
Go the fucking hunks out there.
Go talk to the hunks.
But I'm saying, like, you know, it's
like when I started this job, it's like,
I'm going into this new job.
And it's like, oh, this guy is the guy with me.
Hey, buddy.
Yeah.
You didn't know you'd still be here 10 years later.
No one knew this was going to go this long.
No one knew that.
No, no.
How could we have known?
And will it go 10 more years after that?
No.
So we've at least gotten halfway. Mitch, honestly, we'll see at this point.
Cause I would have said, I would have agreed.
I would have said though, like five years ago,
it's like no way this thing goes another five years.
Who fucking knows?
Yeah.
You can turn that fountain off.
You can turn that nozzle off.
You're talking about like the nozzle.
You're talking about like the nozzle.
You're talking about my jacking off to my shower?
What are you talking about?
If we're gonna be doing this show,
I'm gonna be in a CT machine
just fucking getting scanned constantly,
fucking doing the pot.
It's gonna, we can't, we talked about this,
this week we did talk about the health.
It's getting bad.
We can figure some stuff out.
Yeah.
Don't you wear like a sleep apnea mask?
I heard I would wear.
I have to, I can't, I can't even do it because I wore it and I got, I got vertigo.
Oh God.
I have to go to a pulmonologist.
I don't even know what that is.
I have a lot of people confuse it with a paxnologist.
I don't know what that is either.
Pro-Bart in that fucking joke again.
Everyone's like,
Mitch, Paxton and Pullman, we love it.
Oh, I get it.
Ha ha ha.
Fralty.
That's right.
Fralty, great movie. Great movie.
He directed that one. Great movie.
Isn't that wild?
He directed Fralty. What a twist.
Yeah.
We want to hear the twist.
Add it to your lists, everyone.
Is that the only film Paxton directed? Yeah, I think to do the twist add it to your lists everyone is that is the only film Paxton directed
Yeah, I think I think it was that weird time where like maybe it wasn't considered a big hit
You know what I mean, and no I think it did okay, but I okay
I mean like it felt like he didn't really direct much after that no that's the thing
I'm always fascinated by someone who's like directed like one movie, and they're like all right. I'm good well
Maybe it was a bad experience. It could be yeah
I don't I. Those studio notes.
That's, hey.
Well, get ya.
We get headgum stear nuts all the time.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Can you guys look better?
Hey, you had the studio in a two hour block.
Can you start on time?
That was too real.
That's fair.
So where was I?
Where were you? I said on Dumbbells recently that I'm raising a child
and you have to teach the child literally everything.
And so I have to teach my son how to eat
and he's not vegan.
I'm not raising him vegan.
I'm outnumbered.
And I also just-
Are you gonna let him make that choice?
Yes.
That's nice.
I'm gonna let him decide when he's cognitive enough
to do that, which will be a long time from now probably. Yes. That's nice. I'm gonna let him decide when he's cognitive enough to do that,
which will be a long time from now probably.
Sure.
I just, it's a hard knock alive for the vegans.
It's not easy.
Yeah.
And I'm not gonna.
I would have to assume that children's vegan food especially seems harder, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just, I'm gonna let him decide.
So he's eating yogurt, he's eating meat, he's eating it all of it.
And he would like be eating and he would go,
mommy here, and he'd like try to make me eat the spoon.
And I would just go, okay, yogurt, it was disgusting.
Oh man.
Disgusting. Really?
But I ate it, you know?
But then- By the way,
if you need to call in some pinch hitters for that.
Good to know.
Greek yogurt is very healthy.
I mean, you know, it's got a lot of protein and whatnot. Did you like yogurt before? You need to call in some pinch hitters for that. Good to know. Greek yogurt is very healthy.
I mean, you know, it's got a lot of protein and whatnot.
Did you like yogurt before?
I don't, I just feel like, listen,
I don't wanna be the annoying vegan.
I've breastfed now.
I have bared a child.
I would never wanna put another person through that
or an animal.
Like, it's just a lot.
Like, honestly, I think dairy is more evil than meat.
Wow.
Truly.
That's really interesting.
So no.
By the way, when you ask them about yogurt,
we're on a yogurt text thread.
That's not even-
We do have a yogurt chat.
That's not even a joke.
That is real.
We have a yogurt chat.
Yeah, with like Gada and Anastasia from Dunktown.
Is it like you buy yogurt at the store and talk about them?
Some of that, yeah.
Okay, because I like the Siggy's plant-based yogurt is legit, and it's 10 grams of protein.
So when you're revolted by yogurt, it's more on a conceptual level as opposed to the flavor.
With the blue dot next to it.
Wow.
What does it say?
Side chain.
No, no, no, not that one.
Sorry. Oh, sorry. Dump. Yogurt chat. I'm sorry. Wow, what does it say sidechain? No no no not that one?
Chat I'm sorry there are three dots
Specific chat chat get love Gertrach get the siggy's plant-based I'm very curious what y'all think I have the coconut mixed with one in my fridge right now. I'm eating it for like a couple weeks
It's really good.
Yes.
I like the flavor of like the full fat Greek yogurt,
but I don't think about the ethical concerns of dairy
as much, even though I eat a lot less meat than I used to.
And, but that's it.
That's an interesting thought to have in my head.
Cause yeah, I don't know.
Well, I'm not trying to ruin everyone's yum.
No, no, no.
I don't think I-
Tsk, tsk, tsk, why are you thinking about it, man?
Just Google how milk is produced
and then maybe you'll change your mind.
But! Yes.
My son will be eating macaroni and cheese.
He'll have me eat some and I was like,
oh fuck, that's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
Oh fuck.
Like real cheese is good. It can't be good.
["Fine Dining"]
Mitch, Fine Dining,
the search for the most mediocre restaurant in America,
is a podcast where comedian Michael Ornelas
is traveling the country,
eating at all chain restaurants in search
of the perfectly average 5.00 out of 10 dining experience,
the objective middle threshold of where bad becomes good.
Front of the dough boys,
Marissa Pinson and John Glover, who we love, were the most recent guests
as they review Costco's food court.
Wow.
It's a two-part episode that covers everything
from discontinued menu items
to how many Costco hot dogs they could fit in their mouths.
I think I could fit about three.
The long way or the short way?
Head over to linktree.com slash fine dining podcast
and click bees to enter a giveaway
for an all expensive paid trip to your local Applebee's,
the current front runner for the most mediocre restaurant
in America at a 5.02 out of 10 for you
and up to three of your friends.
And you can watch or listen to Fine Dining
on your platform of choice while you're there.
Enter by May 1st and the winner will be announced
on the May 8th episode.
$50 will be provided for transportation along with a $200 Applebee's gift card.
Today's episode of Doughboys is brought to you by Helix. Wigs, I've had a Helix mattress now for
six years, maybe seven years. Wow! It's been a while. It was pre-pandemic, I know that much. Man. I know. And you know what? My sleep has greatly improved.
I love my Helix mattress.
It's like a cloud, Wally and Irma sleeping there together.
They love it.
They don't want to leave the bed.
You.
I don't want to leave the bed.
Probably bad for you.
You know what?
Anytime I'm late here, blame it on Helix.
Wow.
I'm sleeping away.
The Helix lineup offers 20 unique mattresses including the award-winning Luxe collection,
the newly released Helix Elite collection, a mattress designed for big and tall sleepers,
and even a mattress made just for kids.
So how will you know which Helix mattress works best for you and your body? Take the
Helix Sleep Quiz and find your perfect mattress in under two minutes. And your personalized
mattress is shipped straight to your door free of charge.
Helix knows there's no better way to test out a new mattress than by sleeping on it
in your own home.
That's why they offer a 100-night trial and a 10- to 15-year warranty to try out your
new Helix mattress.
Everybody is unique wigs and everyone sleeps differently.
That's why Helix has several different mattress models to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. Models with
memory foam layers to provide optimal pressure relief if you sleep on your side. Models with
the more responsive foam to cradle your body for essential support in stomach and back sleeping
positions. Plus enhanced cooling features to keep you from overheating at night, which is a problem
for me. I heat up. Problem for me too. And if your spine needs some extra TLC, they got you. Every Helix
mattress has a hybrid design combining individually wrapped steel coils in the base with premium
foam layers on top. It's the perfect combination of comfort and support.
Wigs, I took the Helix Sleep Quiz and I was matched with a Moonlight Luxe mattress because
I wanted something that felt nice and soft, just like me.
Wow.
And not only is the mattress the best you've ever slept on, but the setup was fast and
easy as you were telling me.
Helix mattresses are delivered in a box and straight to your door for free.
You know what?
Ross Kimball helped me set it up.
Good guy, Ross.
Shout out to Ross.
Plus, Helix mattresses all come with a 10 or 15 year warranty depending on the model.
And now, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows.
For our listeners, go to helixsleep.com slash Doughboys and use code helixpartner20.
This is their best offer yet and it won't last long.
With Helix, better sleep starts now.
Helix Partner 2-0.
Do you remember the last time you had McDonald's? No, because here's the thing.
McDonald's is anti-vegan.
They have no options.
You can't even get fries.
No.
The fries are in beef fat or something?
Well, they used to be cooking beef tallow
They actually now you can I think they are they vegan, but they're still not classified as vegan
They have some beef additive. I believe I think
I'm not super like religious about the friar situations
I'm pretty well then you might be a good you might be a good spot because I think that they changed from beef tallow, right?
Like they used to-
No, that was years ago.
They changed from beef tallow to vegetable oil
and that was a cost cutting measure.
But I believe they still have a beef additive
in their fries for flavoring.
I could be wrong about that.
That's a thing I should investigate.
It's been a long time since I've had McDonald's for sure.
But I will say the McDonald's had the
McPlant which... Oh but not here. No they did have the McPlant out here. They had it in some test markets out here. They had it in a few test
markets and we had it on the podcast. We had it with Eric Edelstein. Oh yeah
that's my boy. Now a great dude and so what happened is they had that they
were then test markets,
and it seemed like it was doing well,
and McDonald's was like, we just don't wanna do that.
And they just doubled down on meat.
They're very anti-vegan.
Yeah, and we've seen this happen
throughout the fast food industry,
where all of these, you know, the Impossible Whoppers
were the last ones holding on.
But like Yum brands had like Beyond versions
of proteins they were doing.
I wonder how the Impossible Whoppers do it.
I mean, we like to do it. I like Impossible Whoppers. Yeah, I is doing. I mean, we liked the Impossible Whopper. I've had one.
Yeah, I've had one.
And the Carl's Jr. Beyond is okay.
I've had that.
Yeah, I'm not sure if Carl's Jr. still has it.
I should investigate that.
Del Taco has Beyond Tacos.
They discontinued that.
Oh, okay.
Which is a bummer.
But yeah, we've kind of seen that industry wide where a bunch of places are trying out
a plant-based protein and then they were ultimately like, well, it's not worth it.
Consumers just want cheap meat. Right.
So that lands us with Mr. Charlie's,
which is very much attempting to be a vegan McDonald's.
The full name is Mr. Charlie's Told Me So.
It is a plant-based McDonald's clone.
That's the name of it.
Mr. Charlie's Told Me So,
but just called Mr. Charlie's.
It does sound kind of naughty.
It is a plant-based McDonald's clone
founded by Charlie Kim, who's the namesake, Taylor
McKinnon and Aaron Haxton.
It started as a pop-up on La Brea Boulevard where it still has a location in Los Angeles
in 2022.
It is mostly for app-based delivery.
And I will say one thing in their credit is that they do make a point of hiring people
who are unhoused or incarcerated.
So they seem to have some good business ethics on that side of things.
That's good.
So here's the thing.
Everything is kind of marketed in a McDonald's-esque way.
Like instead of Happy Meals, they have Frowny Meals.
Instead of the Big Mac, they have the Big Chuck
for Mr. Charlie's and all that sort of shit.
And they call a lot of their stuff
like the Not-A-Burger or the Not-Fries. It's that sort of shit. And they call a lot of their stuff like the not a burger or the not fries.
It's that sort of thing that's almost like,
they come off almost annoying.
That's the thing.
It has some annoying aspects to it.
It's just like, this feels a little try hard.
Do you remember the Don Starbucks?
Yes, yeah.
The Nathan for you?
It's giving that but not funny.
Yeah, and that's the kind of thing where you're like, that kind of tips me against it, but
then you hear then other things like the overall concept of trying to do a plant-based McDonald's
like I'm in favor of, I'm in favor of like, you know, having more people try out plant-based
proteins who maybe might not have tried them because of this concept.
And again, some of the stuff on the business side
seems pretty positive.
It's like egg slut in that way.
Exactly.
Jacob Wasaki, he texted me and said that that ship,
because he heard us talk.
We get it.
You text.
God.
Mitch has brought up in this 44 minute conversation
that he texts with people and gets texts
and his phone blows up so many times.
My thumbs are pretty strong, I don't know if you noticed.
Yeah, I text with Jacob Wojcicki, cool.
He was saying that the chef from Eggslut
is like a good chef and like a good guy.
We talked about it on the podcast.
I mean, the branding was smart for Egg egg slut, but a little obnoxious.
It biases you against it, but the person behind it seems like a good guy.
He had a great idea that he wanted to do with us, and I think you vetoed it, but it was
very fun where me, you, Gabriel, and one other person, you go to like a fast food, you go
to, is it five drive-throughs and you order
what the person in front of you had
and you have to go to like five different drive-throughs
and order what the, like the person in front of you ordered.
Yeah.
And eat everything that they ate as a group.
Why five?
I don't know, there was some sort of challenge.
Just mentally rewind about 25 minutes in the past.
When you were talking about getting a CT scan
And we're talking about what this podcast does. Why do you want to do stunt eating?
We don't shouldn't be doing the stunt eating. We shouldn't do stunt eating anymore. Sure. We shouldn't do stunt eating anymore. You'd go viral
We all need virality we got ten years or less left on this podcast. We got to go viral with a clip or two
We're doing Instagram is clips YouTube motherfuckers. That's all I see
The algorithm is algorithming
Probably gonna be a clip right now. So, hi myself.
Future me,
scrolling away.
This is fucking inception bullshit.
It is, and then you'll look at those clips and it's got like a, you know, like a thousand views.
Hey, podcasts are visual now, keep up sweetie.
Unfortunately true.
We all got into this business to not have to look good. Exactly. We all got into this business to not have to look good.
Exactly.
We all got into this business to not do radio.
Yeah.
And here we are doing radio.
We got fake fucking fiddle leaf plants behind us.
This is fake?
This is fucking bullshit.
Look at this fake ass cactus.
Oh wow.
Quicks, quicks.
My friends.
Quicks, fuck.
Folks, that cactus is not fake!
Plus, streaming down.
Ow.
The bit was worth it.
Okay, but lowkey that's going viral.
That was funny.
I
can't believe you grabbed that cactus, dude.
I had to for the virality.
Oh, that was good.
That was funnier than your little muckbong scene. That was funnier than your little muckbong scene. That was funnier than your little muckbong scene. I can't believe you grabbed that cactus, dude. I had to for the virality.
Oh, that was good.
That was funnier than your little mukbang stunt.
I think that if you, if we did, well, you should test it.
Yeah.
If on our Instagram, you just had me be like.
Oh no, it would go, people would love that shit.
People would love that shit. People would love that shit.
It's a fetish.
It's yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking whale would be pounding off
watching that on his laptop.
Yeah.
Will's gonna glaze his fucking bathtub.
Spill whites.
Spill whites.
Spill whites.
Spill whites.
Okay, so, and the frowny meals come in like a frowny,
in a happy meal-esque package.
Yes.
So it's very curated to be a McDonald's experience.
No toy.
And no crowns.
No crown, as Amelia pointed out,
confusing the chain with Burger King.
That's OK.
So I'll go through everything that I got last night,
and then we got some more stuff today.
But I got the Mr. Muffin Deluxe Special,
which is a plant-based breakfast sausage,
a plant-based egg, and vegan cheese on a muffin.
Do you remember the last time you've had a breakfast sandwich in general?
Oh, not probably pretty frequent, like often.
Got it.
I live in Highland Park.
Got it.
We got breakfast sandwiches for days.
And is that the sort of thing where
you're OK with the occasional egg in that context or?
I try not to.
Try not to, yeah, yeah.
The first thing I ate after I gave birth
was the Starbucks Impossible breakfast sandwich.
How was it?
Horrible, because I had, my throat got burned out
from vomiting.
Oh my God.
Be careful out there, wear condoms.
Yeah, it was rough, we don't need to talk about that.
Dear God.
Oh, it's horrible.
What a nightmare.
Hug your mothers.
Hug your mothers, everybody.
You throw up?
Oh, well, I was having horrific acid reflux,
like the devil was in me.
And so you're trying to like push,
but then in between your pushes,
you're just throwing bile up.
And then I thought I was fine,
but then like I couldn't eat for a week,
it would just burn.
And then I thought I permanently damaged my esophagus,
but it went back.
When you said the devil isn't how you,
this wasn't sort of literal thing you're saying here,
correct?
No, I gave birth to the Antichrist.
We're also, again, so dumb that we're like,
you throw up when you're pregnant?
Idiots.
No, I don't get that caught.
But I mean, it felt like a thing when you were giving birth
was what you were referring to.
Yes.
Yeah, left and right.
You throw up from pain. Wow.
As well.
Jeez.
That's gnarly.
It's really, really rough, yeah.
Anyway.
Well, I had a Mr. Buffen Deluxe Special.
It also came with potato tots,
and it came in that little package, which is fine.
Oh, potato tots.
I didn't know they had tater tots.
They do have tater tots.
They're whatever.
I mean, the tater tots are whatever.
The fries are whatever.
I know these places feel like they have to do that,
but if you're a delivery-
You're not gonna get that McDonald's hash brown.
It's not gonna happen.
No, well first off, they didn't even attempt
the McDonald's hash brown, which is interesting.
It's interesting the things they omitted here.
Yes, because the whole point was,
we're trying to create a vibe here, a McDonald's vibe.
Right, but they're like no hash browns,
no Happy Meal toys.
No Happy Meal toys, no desserts.
No treats? No treats at all.
Not like an apple pie, not like a fake sundae
or a fake cone.
Someone pointed out no soda fountain,
which I think-
Me, that was me?
No soda fountain, yeah.
Yeah.
And you made a great point because it's like,
that feels like such a McDonald's thing
instead of like canned sodas.
For sure.
What is it, the Sprite, the McDonald's Sprite,
people say has like its own taste or something?
It's the Coke.
I mean, I think their Sprite is good,
but their Coke is the signature there, yeah.
Cause can't you get any size for a dollar?
It depends on the promotion,
but oftentimes they do have that, yeah.
It is funny, cause I think younger people talk
about McDonald's Sprite hitting differently, as they say.
Yeah. Spicy Sprite.
Oh, what's that?
I call it Spicy Sprite.
There it is. Spicy Sprite.
I didn't feel right when I said hitting differently.
I just didn't feel right.
That's not it, it's hits different.
Hits different, yes.
Hitting differently is not the same thing.
McDonald's spread his hitting differently.
The McDonald's Coke, we've always said,
is just maybe the- Hits different.
It's the best version of Coke there is,
and there is scientific proof behind it now.
Yes, scientific proof behind it.
What I call scientific proof. What is it? No, it comes in like a metal can now. Yes, scientific proof behind it. What do you call it?
What is it?
No, it comes in like a metal canister.
It comes in a metal canister.
We've had some listeners, including our friend Emilio,
who worked in various capacities for McDonald's.
And yes, they have specific metal canisters
that are delivery systems for the Coke.
So it makes sense that it is like the best fountain version
of Coke.
Yeah, like a keg.
Like a Coke keg. Basically, yeah, yeah. I think it's akin to that. Yeah, it's Coke ke best. Yeah, like a keg. Like a Coke keg.
Basically, yeah, yeah.
I think it's akin to that.
Yeah, it's Coke keg syrup.
Yeah, syrup.
I would do a keg stand on that, bad boy.
I'd like to see that.
They have a not a hamburger, which
is their plant-based patty, pickles, onions,
ketchup, and mustard, which is their attempted
hamburger, the double knot, which is like the McDonald's
double cheeseburger, the not a chicken sandwich,
which is their plant-based chicken patty, lettuce and mayo,
again vegan mayo, there's the Not Chicken Nuggets, which we'll talk about, and then
they forgot my Big Chuck, which is their Big Mac clone, but I got the Big Chuck today.
I hope you got refunded.
I actually didn't ask for a refund.
I guess I should probably go ahead and do that, but I was just sort of like, ah, fuck
it, whatever.
That's how they get you.
All right, it's fine.
Just give me, how much was it?
Just give me half of that. That's how they get you. All right, it's fine, just give me, how much was it? Just give me half of that, that's fine.
Fucking bullshit.
This guy, remember the thing I got mad at a long time ago?
You didn't get the thing and I got mad at you about it?
Yeah, let's rehash that.
What?
That thing a long time ago,
when I didn't get the thing and he got mad at it,
we all remember.
Oh, when you went and the store was closed.
Yeah, the IHOP was closed
I hope they should not it was the Denny's
Thank you Emma the Denny's should not have let me put in an order if it was permanent location was for this guy
Never says a fucking word about it. Did you ever get that money back? We don't need to bring this up
Mitch was at I was mad about the thing. We didn't need to let him pursue that any further I
Got swindled earlier this guy here. He asked me for the doughboys bank account. I gave it to him. I got swindled
Oh, what the fuck you're gonna do anything about it you fool
Don't suggest this is equivalent. I guess it's not a quick one. I guess it's a sandwich that they forgot
Yeah, they forgot a sandwich. You know I don't want to make a big fuss about it
I'm sure I could get a refund if I went through the the proper gives a fucking will match. I'll do it. Yeah
Talk about your meals. I'll go through the app. I'll try to get a refund right now
Wow
Got a fanny pack ready. I was just trying to yell it because it was fun to yell at you
No, I think you should these companies. He's texting the yogurt chat
I'm texting the yogurt chat. They have I just don't understand how these delivery services always fuck your order up
I swear over half the time. There's no I ordered extra ranch. Where is it bitch?
That is I paid two dollars. Where is it always comes in a bag that's taped shut so right the driver can't look in here
Yeah, it was there so't look in here. Yes. It was there
So it's the restaurant. Yes
Sleep at the switch and I don't appreciate it. You know I did last night. I had dinner at Chi dynasty
Oh, I used to eat there all the time
And I was like so nice to just go and sit in this I give him credit
Why is I'm actually shocked that you got delivery because you're a guy who doesn't do delivery ever yeah, well
You know what yeah, I appreciate about you. Well, here was the thing.
Like, I've been by that location.
I thought you liked that a little bit more.
Well, I don't know.
Whatever.
I mean, I think like it's.
It's good that you both still have your hair.
Don't you think?
Aren't you all really blessed that your hair is still there?
Mine is.
I mean, this is.
I got a lot of forehead.
Do you want me to tell you something?
Yeah.
I'm going in for another treatment tomorrow
They take my blood yeah, they spin it down doing a PRP and that yeah, I guess that's what and then they stab my head
With it. Yeah, look at this beauty queen over here. You know what I'm like not even
ashamed or embarrassed
Because I think a lot of people wouldn't want to talk about it, but I don't care really I got
Someone shames you for that you shame them right back.
Hell yeah.
I'm not sure how visible this is,
because it's been getting better.
From here it looks like your hair looks luscious.
It looks like you're about to open up your head.
He's like, if you want to, you're just gonna open up your head.
This is where the charger goes.
Little men in black alien inside.
Hey, my galaxy. How do I report this? Because I just see the receipt here. Don, my galaxy. Hey, my body. Oh. Oh.
How do I report this?
Cause I just see the receipt here.
Go to your order.
Don't do it, don't do it.
I was just giving you a hard time.
Go to your order.
I know because they screw my order up all the time.
Go to your order.
And then there's like a dispute
or like a problem with order.
Help with an order, past order.
Now we're coming up.
It might be too late, honestly.
They'll just give you the money back without any time.
They're just like, yep, whoops, here you go.
Well, it also just shows how much, I mean,
Wrong or missing item.
This is actually a crazy thing to talk about
is that Amelia picked up the order today.
Yeah.
And this just shows you how these apps are horrible,
and I use them all the time, and they are horrible.
But the difference between her picking up the order
and us getting it delivered was $50, Wags.
And you know the driver ain't getting those fees. The driver is not getting the $50 Wags. And you know the driver ain't getting those fees.
The driver is not getting the $50.
No.
$50 fucking dollars, which is so crazy.
But don't do this.
I was just giving you a hard time.
I don't care about this.
Here's my argument.
I feel like the more people who dispute,
the restaurant will start to notice and maybe they'll.
Or Postmates will start to fucking.
Yes, that's why I want to do it.
I'm normally not a snitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
I don't want to get someone in trouble is the thing.
I don't either, but it's not the driver's fault.
Yeah, it's not the driver's fault.
The restaurant clearly is...
Someone's not paying attention.
I think that so many of these companies are predatory in that way.
They just are like,
Oh, we'll get lost and we'll make profits and who cares right and
I think that that's like what they plan on doing we have received your message will be in touch as soon as possible
I didn't want you to do it
Do you know who I am
Hamburger emoji yeah, I met you in a gym once I
Also did text the Gert chat.
Y'all should go to Menchie's.
We should go to Menchie's.
That'd be a fun outing, Mitch.
He did, he just texted, what up chat?
So wait, what-
Those two were probably like, what the fuck's going on?
What were you saying about Chai dynasty?
I was just saying it was so nice to go
and sit down in the restaurant. Isn't it wonderful? It was great. What'd you saying about Chi dynasty? I was just saying it was so nice to go and sit down
in the restaurant.
Isn't it wonderful?
It was great.
What'd you get?
I got the sesame chicken, which is an old favorite.
That's what I used to get.
Yeah.
Oh, it's so good.
It is good.
And also I was just like, you know, I'm gonna clean up.
This is great.
Walk out of here, feel great.
It was great.
Going to restaurants is fun.
Oh yeah.
But I'm curious, so wait, dude, while we're on this topic,
because if we're talking about like, you know,
Chi dynasty is Chinese food.
We're talking about Chinese food, Thai food.
You know, these are cuisines where I feel like you can get like tofu
and you can get a vegan version of something
and you can get a very close to what you had with a, you know, with meat.
Yes.
I don't think Chi Dynasty does tofu though.
At least they did it back in the day when I would go.
Ooh, I don't know.
I'm not sure.
They're not a tofu-y place.
But I used to eat there in like 2009, 2008
when I still ate meat and I would get that dish.
Chinese food was great.
I mean, I got some, I got, the other thing
I got was vegetable musho.
Oh, there you go.
Those little mushrooms.
Oh yeah, it was good.
Oh yeah.
Wow.
It was good. I used to live in that neighborhood. I never left. I'm still over there. I'll probably die there.
We got to talk about the food. So Mitch, you tell us, talk us through your order. You got one of the
combo meals. I got the, what is it? The Big Carl? Big Chuck. Big Chuck. Big Carl is Carl's Jr.
Uh, well, I knew that too.
I guess you're right.
I shouldn't have guessed it was a Big Carl.
No, I get Mr. Charlie's, it's Charlie kind of like Carl,
but it is the Big Chuck, like the Big Mac.
My initial thought when I bit into the,
Suss and I were like, this place stinks.
And look, I'll say it.
Yeah, do we mention Susser just showed up?
Susser did just show up, and I think that he was... But he didn't, I'll say it. Yeah, do we mention Susser just showed up?
Susser did just show up.
And I think that he was-
But he didn't order food.
I think he's expecting there to be more food.
And then it was kind of like,
you needed to kind of put your order in a little bit
and he didn't do that.
Right.
And so we kind of just sitting there, it's kind of sad.
He said he was just at Sweet Green and he was like,
oh, I forgot you guys were here today.
So I thought I'd stop by.
Oh, hmm.
Then he actually- It's just at Sweet Green. Yeah. And he accidentally knocked thought I'd stop by. Oh, hmm. Then he accidentally-
Just at sweet grief.
Yeah.
And he accidentally knocked a poster off the wall.
Yeah, he did.
That was what I was gonna say.
He also knocked a poster off the wall and then left.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he also did eat a couple of nuggets, I believe.
Yeah.
He got what he wanted.
So did Jemmy.
Yeah, Jemmy got some nuggies.
Good girl.
She loved them.
I, my thought was like, I love McDonald's, of course.
We think it's one of the best, and Jemmy loves McDonald's as well.
She loves nuggies.
And I didn't want to like this place.
They had a beef with Dang, it's Wayne and Luke Foods, the two, I just spit everywhere.
The two guys I, sorry, the two guys that I follow on Instagram who look, might be annoying. I don't know what the deal is with them.
Luke foods guy talks like that.
I talked about it before.
Uh, and, and they both reviewed Ms.
Charlie's.
They don't like it.
Um, and I was like, maybe this place sucks.
Cause they were kind of mean to them in the
comments.
And Mr.
Charlie's was mean to him.
Yeah.
I was like, maybe this place kind of sucks.
You then texted last night and said, Hey, I'm going to be a fan of you. I'm going to them in the comments. Mr. Charlie's was mean to him. Yeah.
I was like, maybe this place kind of sucks.
You then texted last night and said, I got news for you.
Mr. Charlie's is good.
Yeah.
Whoa.
And I said, interesting.
You've been having a poker face all day.
I did not know how you felt.
And then I come in.
How I live.
I take a bite.
Yeah.
You can't tell what the fuck he's thinking.
How have you been dealing with this for 10 years?
It's not easy.
I come in, I open up the Big Chuck.
Yeah.
I take a bite of it.
It's really, really close to a Big Mac.
It tastes- It's really an impressive Big Mac.
It's pretty impressive.
Food sciency, that was the most impressive thing I had really close to a Big Mac. It tastes- It's really an impressive Big Mac. It's pretty impressive. Food science-y.
That was the most impressive thing I had,
was the Big Chuck.
Yes, and to be clear, I got another Big Chuck.
I added that onto our order today
because I didn't get it last night.
And I tried it, I was quite impressed by it.
It was impressive.
They really nailed, just the sauce works really well
on there.
The cheese is, I hate to say this cause it's disgusting.
Yeah.
Almost when you touch it, it's almost boogery.
Gross to say.
Gelatinous.
I guess there were less gross words to say.
Isn't the McDonald's cheese kind of like that though?
It is a little bit.
It's very plasticky.
Plastic, but this is like so like sticky.
It's a different texture.
It's a different, it's different.
Yeah.
Eating it, I think when it wasled out was the taste that i liked the least when it was
singled out but in as a whole in the in the big chuck it tasted good and the big mac sauce that
they have well their version of the big mac sauce that they have is good yeah Yeah, they're chucked themselves. I was surprised by it where I think that if,
I think you could fool some people
into thinking that was a Big Mac.
On that note, Natalie loved the double cheeseburger,
the double knot.
She was like, this item is a five fork item.
This is like a double cheeseburger,
like just a pretty perfect double cheeseburger clone.
I could just have this instead of McDonald's cheeseburger.
The rest of the menu, she was a little less impressed by
and was more in the two fork range.
But I will say that the Big Chuck
was one of the better things I had.
I also really like their fake hamburger
without Mitch the Cheese,
because the issue with the cheese is that it's ooey gooey.
And you know what's fun with regular cheese,
you got some on the wrapper, you peel it off,
you have a little extra bite of cheese.
Not the same sensation here.
You actually don't want that,
because tasting it on its own,
it more exposes the lie of it.
And so-
It on its own is the thing I liked the least, for sure.
I had a single cheeseburger as well,
and I ate most of that.
And the first bite I took, I was like,
mm, they got it right with the Big Mac, but this one isn't right. And then I took a single cheeseburger as well, and I ate most of that. And at the first bite, I was like, mm, they got it right with the Big Mac,
but this one isn't right.
And then I took a couple more bites,
and I was like, wait, this does taste like a cheeseburger
from McDonald's.
And then I would get a pocket of the cheese
that was gooed up, and I'd be like, oh no, this is,
it was like a very up and down thing.
But I was impressed by this place in many ways.
It's crazy.
Totally, and just to finish my thought, that's why maybe if you have an issue with the vegan cheeses, I was impressed by this place in many ways. It's crazy. Totally.
And just to finish my thought, that's why maybe if you have an issue with the vegan
cheeses, and I usually like a vegan cheese, but some people don't love it, I'd push you
towards the hamburger because I think that one just tastes like a McDonald's hamburger.
It's a little bit of a dry guy, but you dip that in some Chuck sauce or some ketchup.
You're sitting there.
Sure.
I thought that was a pretty impressive concoction.
Like the breakfast sandwich,
tasted like a chicken sausage,
but for the most part,
tasted like an actual breakfast sandwich.
Not a chicken sandwich was pretty good.
I actually thought that was more successful
than the nuggets, just because the nuggets,
eating them on their own, you know,
you kind of have a little bit less to hide them.
The nuggets aren't bad though.
They were still good.
And when I dipped the nuggets, and you know what?
I asked, because you were like, you don't have to get the sweet and sour and barbecue
sauce.
And I said to Amelia, just get it anyways.
I want to try it.
And when I did dip it in the sweetens, and I was happy she did, because when I dipped
it in the sweet and sour sauce, I was like, oh, this is giving some sort of equivalent
to what a chicken nugget is.
I just think it's a tougher thing when it's the protein on its own.
Yes.
And you can't hide it with some of the condiments and stuff like that.
And dinking it, dumping it in the, uh, dinking it.
Dinking the nugs.
Dumping you were looking for.
That's the word you wanted.
Dinking the nugs.
Yeah.
Dinking the nubs.
Wow.
That cold shower did not turn on his brain.
I'm going to take my nub.
Oh, he spilled white. Dinking the nugs, when you dunk them in that sweet and sour,
it helps.
It makes it feel, but like on its own, you know what it's
close.
They get like, they get the crisp right, but it is just,
you can tell.
You can tell the difference, obviously. Let me just say that. The Big Mac is like a thing where They get like, they get the crisp, right? But it is just, you can tell. You can tell the difference, obviously.
Let me just say that.
The Big Mac is like a thing where I was like,
I don't know, I can't, this is so close
that I think you would fool people.
That was a magic trick.
I was very impressed by the Big Chuck.
The reason the barbecue sauce and the sweet and sour,
I was like, we don't necessarily need to get them
is because I got them last night
and it's just sweet baby raised barbecue sauce
and Heinz sweet and sour. they're just pre-packaged sauces
But that said if you want the experience of having those you know that but they do have a bunch of different house sauces as well
They're green sauce their white sauce chipotle aioli the big Chuck sauce which I mentioned in their Jew dip
Which is a combo the barbecue and chipotle, but let's talk about the white sauce a little bit because Jackie
You were a defender of the white sauce. Yes, okay. I'm gonna pull up what I ordered. Please do
By the way, we need to trim your eyebrows, Mitch.
I would love that.
If I had some, I should have brought my kit
because I like the shape, but they're getting a little,
the hairs are starting to go down in your eyes.
You know what?
I've had some vision problems
and I think a part of it has been that I'm seeing hairs.
Do you have them with eyelashes too?
I have tiny eyes.
Well, you have inset, it's called inset eyes.
Oh boy.
And it's called hooded eyes.
I've heard this before.
From other women.
My mom has told me that I'm going to have to get an operation at some point to,
like she's like, she said that I'll probably have to get an eye lift.
Wow, really?
She says that, yeah, she says that I have,
that I would, I have fucked up eyes.
We wanna make sure you can see.
That's exactly, like she's like-
This is a safety issue at the end of the day.
As you get older, it's gonna be harder for me to see.
Oh, sure, yeah, yeah.
I would love for you to trim my eyebrows.
Yeah, I just, I like a full brow,
but they're getting a little unruly.
Look, I need a little bit of a,
I need a little bit of a cleanup anyways.
I'm due for a cleanup.
Doesn't help that my hot water's not working right now.
Do you do any brow maintenance?
I do a very small amount.
My barber will sometimes just clip them a little bit.
Yeah.
I want to brush him up and then do a cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut,
just get those hair.
How does this look?
Yeah, there we go.
I feel like that'd be very satisfying to watch.
Whoa!
Somebody's angry.
Yeah.
That works, I am angry.
You know like Maggie Simpson's arch nemesis?
Yeah, that's what you're giving.
The baby with the unibrow.
Yeah, the big one big eyebrow.
Yeah, they're really curly too.
Yeah.
You have curly hair in your eyebrows.
I was a curly haired boy.
When I was a little kid, I had
blonde curls.
Wow.
My son has curly blonde hair.
Is he going to end up with curly eyebrows?
Are you going to end up like me?
I pray no.
Don't anger the baby gods,
but I think that he should be,
he should be better looking.
Who knows?
But they do, you do lose your,
a lot of people lose their blonde hair.
I was a little.
I was a little toe-headed boy.
I was a toe-headed boy as well, Wives.
Our innocence is stripped from us.
Yeah.
Anyway, back to vegan hamburgers.
That's right.
I ordered a frowny meal with a not a cheeseburger
and a side of the white sauce.
Now, when I go on SiriusXM and I do Howard Stern,
that studio is right next to, yes, I just dropped that,
is right next to McCharr.
So I go there every time I'm at Sirius.
Which is, you know, often.
So, by the way, you can hear me on
Howard Stern 101 sometimes.
Anyway, so I go there, I make it a point to go there.
Because it's a treat for me.
So my hamburger, I got the cheeseburger,
the single patty cheeseburger.
It's been a while since I had a McDonald's hamburger,
but I grew up in the nineties in Texas.
I ate McDonald's every week of my life.
And that taste will never die.
I know exactly, like it takes me right there.
So I've been into that cheeseburger.
And for me, a person who hasn't had real McDonald's
in a long time, it is a McDonald's hamburger.
It tastes exactly like it to me. And it's not necessarily like the patty,
it's the condiment choices.
So they chop the onions just like they do on a McDonald's.
They have a mustard and the ketchup and the cheese.
It's just the exact combination
of all those things in your mouth.
It is to me exactly like a McDonald's
single pat cheeseburger.
I think for us, I mean, if you're vegan or vegetarian
and you're not eating McDonald's, I think this is like,
and you wanted that experience, it gives it to you.
I wonder how you would feel about this.
The thing that it didn't feel as close to me is the fries.
And I think it is just impossible.
Please stop coming into my, what I'm saying right now,
because this is actually my time
The fries I think the frog go on I'm speaking
I'm speaking
Does that work
Mutely nodding the next thing I chose to eat were the chicken nuggets once again to, to me, they taste just like the McDonald's chicken nuggets.
The texture was very similar.
The outside, what's it called?
You can talk now.
What's it called?
Like the outside?
The breading?
The breading.
My brain doesn't work either.
Have a kid, it breaks your life.
That is very similar.
Now the white sauce.
So there's three sauces. I wanna talk That is very similar. Now the white sauce. So there's three sauces?
I wanna talk now.
You wanna talk about the white sauce?
I think you liking the white sauce is possibly insane.
Really?
I'm baffled by the white sauce.
Now that I both thought it tasted like cream cheese icing.
We're like, this is so pungently sweet
that it's unpleasant.
Yeah.
I don't know what's in it.
Yeah.
And we couldn't find any info on the website
but I love it.
Did you love it?
Yeah.
So the first time I heard about McCharlie's was Lizzo.
Yes.
Lizzo made a video on TikTok eating it.
Yeah.
And she tried the sauces
and she said the white sauce is the way to go.
So the first time I went, I ordered the white sauce.
And I think I got a green as well.
And I tried it and I just, when I was little,
I would always get the Happy Meal chicken nuggets with honey.
Dipping those chicken nuggets in that honey, mommy,
that was my shit.
Is that what it's supposed to have?
So I'm not sure, but all I know is that when you dip them
nugs in the white, ooh wee, ooh wee, it'd do it for Mommy.
Wow.
So maybe it's that.
Mommy like a little sweet sweet on her nugs.
I, you know what?
I get that.
And I was a honey on nugget person too.
Lizzo is the singer, right?
Yes. Because I have a friend named Dan-o, and I didn't know if you maybe had person too. Lizzo is the singer, right? Yes.
Because I have a friend named Dano,
and I didn't know if you maybe had a friend named Lizzo.
I'm just casually dropping my friend Lizzo.
Hey, weird things have happened.
She's from Texas like me.
I got a question.
I got, in Koalik.
Yeah, that's right, Koalik.
Our former-
Beyonce's date.
Our former commissioner in Beyonce's date.
Commissioner for a very short time.
Not a great tenure, kind of a William Henry Harrison of the Doughboyz commissionership.
Yeah, it was horrible.
Yeah.
Wags, I got a question for you.
When did you lose it?
When did you lose the blonde hair?
When did you lose it?
I think probably sixth to seventh grade.
How does it happen?
Does it slowly fall out and dark hair comes into its place
or is it sort of like rogue from X-Men?
You just wake up one day with like the streak.
It starts to, for me same thing,
like sixth or seventh grade.
I wanna see photos of y'all as toe heads.
I'll find one right now.
Okay.
I don't have any old photos on my phone, but.
Jesus Christ.
I. Why?
I don't know, I just don't know how to hold on to stuff.
Look at my little blonde child.
Adorable.
Wait, let me get a look at that.
What a cutie!
Blonde. True cutie.
Oh my goodness.
Blonde as hell.
Yeah, very much so.
Yeah.
I'm gonna find a picture of myself.
You don't get to see.
Yeah.
I'm not a mommy thogger.
No thank you.
Permission.
I've been trying to look up what the white sauce is
and I just, they don't have the,
it's just called mystery white sauce
and they don't have the nutrition info on the website.
This is an argument my husband always makes for vegan food.
We'll go out to eat, we'll get like vegan sandwiches
and he'll go, what is this?
And I'll go, I don't know.
And he's like, don't you feel weird
that you don't know what you're eating?
Right.
And I'm always like, I guess not,
but I don't have allergies,
but obviously a lot of people have like gluten
or soy and different things.
Yeah, sure.
But I don't, but that is like a thing about being is this,
we're like, we don't care what it is,
as long as that ain't me, I'll eat the cardboard, whatever.
Stop.
Look how cute he is.
I would never in my life think that was you.
That's me.
Keep that little guy. Keep it out of your spank bag.
All right, Jesus Christ.
Now I just fall to the ground again.
What was I made for?
I should do a TikTok of that.
What was I made for?
With me at the end just sad as myself.
No, you know what you need to do? There's a TikTok trend with I'm not gonna talk over that. What then me at the end is sad as myself. No, you know what you need to do?
There's a TikTok trend with I'm just a kid
that's song from simple plan.
Oh yeah.
And you come into frame
and then you click to the current photo.
Do that, you'd be like, what the fuck?
All right, you got me going through my phone again.
Let me see if I have anything.
I don't think I do.
This is riveting radio.
You don't got one, Weiss, come on.
Wait, no, this is on the edge of me
turning from blonde to brown.
So you're actually getting kind of like a Santa Claus,
Tim Allen, midpoint sort of transition.
This is me with my base clarinet
and turtleneck sweater in sixth grade.
So there you go.
Oh, you're adorable.
Yeah, that's a little heartbreaker.
You must love that edging.
Edging from blonde to brown.
Were you first chair?
Yeah, I was first chair.
Oh yeah.
Are you kidding me?
Hope it was a fucking strong chair.
Wow.
I'm gonna find a couple more.
I bet it was. Here's another one of me. Stop.
Yeah, we've seen this one before.
Oh wow, you're Adam?
I was playing Adam.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Was there an Eve or?
No.
The costume doesn't really work.
Yeah, you gotta just a little, for our audio listeners,
you've got a leaf covering your genitals
and you're otherwise nude.
There it is.
You just zoomed in on the leaf.
This is, I foresee this being. I'm gonna rip this out. I'm gonna rip this out. For our audio listeners, you've got a leaf covering your genitals and you're otherwise nude. You just zoomed in on the leaf.
This is, I foresee this being...
Yeah, this is gonna be a most replayed section of the YouTube video, unfortunately.
You guys said there was an Eve.
I maybe was playing Eve, I can't really tell there with the, when I zoom in on the genitalia.
You know when you like rent fast times and they're taking the top off?
Yeah, the tape's all fucked up.
There, I'm a Nintendo Power sweatshirt.
Oh, that's a cool sweatshirt.
You're blonde as hell.
I was blonde as hell.
How do you have all these photos?
I took them at my house.
This sweatshirt is elite.
I wish you still had that.
It was a good sweatshirt.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a cool sweatsatch and mom probably toss it fucking bitch
Does Nintendo power has got Mario on you know would be a sick look the the Super Nintendo swatcher with the it with the atom
I love my mom very much by the way great mom great mom
Um, I have your same Mitch ornament.
You know the Mitch ornament?
It's on my tree every year.
Wow! Yeah.
Tim Succarna will always send me a pic
of the Mitch ornament that warms my heart.
My mom has it too.
I know, I think I saw like the screen.
She keeps it next to her TV year round.
I have my Mitch t-shirt still.
Wow. And I wear it all the time. I've had two husbands have to stare at that t-shirt still. Wow. And I wear it all the time. This is my day to day.
I've had two husbands have to stare at that t-shirt.
And my second husband, he doesn't like,
I don't think he knew about what's going on with Mike
Mitch, like he did.
He's like, why do you have that shirt?
And I'm like, shut up.
I don't need to explain this to you.
Because it was like merch from your show.
You had to be in the audience that night
to get that shirt. To get the shirt, yeah.
Which you also were in the show.
Yes. Oh, I saw Catherine Burns yesterday.
She says hi by the way. Oh wow.
I love Catherine Burns.
Because we were in your show together.
Yes. Yeah.
And she's one too.
Emmys and like killing it.
Very, very accomplished.
I got the news alert about the Sims movie
and I was like, Catherine, please choreograph
the Sims movie, please.
She's a choreographer.
Yeah, yeah. She doesn't know.
She choreographed a video I did,
a Funnier Day video Gungan style back in the day.
Oh yeah.
And she also appeared in it.
She was Princess Leia, yeah.
Which I was just watching at the other day.
And is she in the video at the end with Dutz too?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Funny enough, I was just watching her new reel
and that didn't make the cut.
Weird.
I'll just send her a message.
Yeah, there was like all these big celebrities in there,
all these prestigious projects,
she did the Borat movie, all these things.
Right, right.
You didn't make the cut.
Yeah, she probably thought it would be weird to ask
or something, but I'm fine with it.
She can totally do it.
I'll tell her.
By the way, she's won a couple of Emmys.
We won our iHeartRadio's Best Food Podcast Award.
Wow, it's true.
You won an iHeart award.
I did, yes, an attribute one as well last year.
Yeah, so I mean, Emmys are cool, but-
Best beauty and fashion pod.
Did y'all get an award?
I have a trophy.
They never sent me one.
Wait, really?
No, and I'm like, who the, who's dick do I have to suck
to get my iHeart award?
Ha ha ha.
Hello?
Mr. iHeart, are you listening? Do I have to suck the Los Culturistas dick or
something? Like how do I get my damn award? Somebody call me. I was really upset.
I'm pretty sure when I asked where the I Heart Radio award should be shipped when we got
it, someone texted back and said the dumpster.
I said city dump.
There it is.
Wow. I said city dump. There it is. Wow. I said city dump.
Wow.
I respected the, thank you for the award.
It's nice.
He's gonna make you cut that out, aren't you?
No, I don't care.
Really?
Yeah, we said on the podcast before.
I'll dig it out of the trash and put it on my shelf
because I want my damn award.
You should get it.
How ungrateful, I took that trophy
and it's now in my house that I'm decluttering because I save everything.
I don't know who these people are.
I don't know what the voting parameters were,
but sure, I'll take an award.
Why not?
There you go.
That's a nice attitude.
Yeah.
What a speech.
The fries were not good.
The fries were not good.
So this is an issue.
And these places feel like these are delivery concepts.
And yes, I know that they have a physical store,
but the physical store does not even have
any interior seating.
It is like a Papa John's.
It is a pickup location.
These delivery focused concepts feel like
they have to have fries because that's the expectation,
but the fries are never good.
I feel like figure something else out.
Have like a really good potato salad or something.
Have a great vegan potato salad
I don't know what a fucking no. I'm with you. That's just a first pitch. It could be whatever
We didn't like the first pitch y'all don't have zoom on these cameras, right?
Are you making a face a guy maybe potato salad is this I want a hamburger
You know, it would be good with that a potato salad. That's a fine cookout combo here zoom in here. I
Couldn't really do the face as well
Eyebrows though potato salad mac salad coleslaw these are classic sides you can have with the
Better cuz I'm gonna talk great hold up more. They were a little better
But also I'm just like it's none of it travels all that way.
That fried stuff all gets soggy.
You gotta pop them in the air fryer.
Yeah.
Does this place have an air fryer?
Y'all got cold brew on tap, you'd think.
We should get an air fryer.
Headgum could have an air fryer, that would be fun.
That would help.
But even-
Tell Anya she'll be thrilled
to hear another fucking request from ya.
Do you want me to text her?
No!
be thrilled to hear another fucking request from ya. Do you want me to text her?
No!
But even if the fries weren't cold from delivery,
they still weren't giving McDonald's.
Yeah.
Has anyone, y'all tell me, you're the experts,
has any restaurant got the fries on lock like McDonald's?
No.
Why, what is it, is it that beef tallow,
is that what gives them that flavor?
Is it the cut, Is it the salt?
What is it?
So we were talking about this because we were trying to see if the
fries were still vegan, if the fries were vegan.
They're not in America.
In other countries, a lot of places they are, but in America they are not.
They use beef stock, it looks like.
And so, so they are not vegan.
You can't have them.
Uh, they're not vegetarian even.
Yeah.
Um, but, uh, the, they used to be cooked with beef tallow back in the day.
Is that like inside of bones?
What's tallow?
Beef tallow is like beef fat.
So they fried them in beef fat.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah, I didn't know.
So I'm beef.
Emma came in with that answer.
You tried not to.
Yeah, I thought, like you, I thought that was what it was.
Yeah.
No, a marrow.
A marrow.
A tallow, a marrow. A marrow, a marrow. It's more like lard, I thought that was what it was. A marrow. I think you made the mistake of a cow or a marrow.
It's more like lard, what lard is from a pig,
tallow is from a...
And now it is vegetable oil,
but they also use beef stock, is that what it is, I guess?
There's beef in the fry,
so it's not in what they're fried in anymore,
but they put beef into the fry
so that they have a similar flavor
to when they were fried in beef.
I mean, it works pretty well still.
They're still great.
I don't remember what they tasted like
before that change anymore,
but I'm sure that they were great.
Better maybe, I don't know.
I think that was honestly, Mitch,
before either of us would have remembered it,
because they made that beef tallow switch in the 80s.
Oh, wow.
Maybe even in the 70s.
1990.
Oh, was that recent?
Okay, yeah. Then maybe we do remember.
Y'all were both little blonde boys
sucking on your beef tallow fries.
He'd made a change at that point.
1990, this guy had changed.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
You switched over?
You switched over at that point.
The great change occurred.
No, I think it was,
I still would have been blonde into the early 90s.
Cause I was still a little bit blonde in middle school.
Yeah. There you go, buddy. I changed over, been blonde into the early 90s. I was still a little bit blonde in middle school.
Yeah.
There you go, buddy.
I changed it over, yeah, 1994 and five, six,
somewhere in there.
Yeah.
The times were changing too, so for me it was-
Yeah, Berlin Wall's coming down,
Soviet Union's collapsing. Oh, Jay's on the highway.
Jay's out there driving around.
The job market was great though.
Job market was great.
Yeah, Clinton. Clinton online. We're signing on for the first time.
You got mail.
Oh, you got mail?
I remember that.
I remember that.
We had 1-800-BE-A-GEEK.
Remember that?
Right, yes, I do remember that.
We were not an AOL house.
Wow.
I never had an AOL address.
You never had AOL?
Well, I had AIM, obviously.
Of course.
But I never had like Jackie at AOL, whatever.
We've known each other long enough that maybe I knew your aim. Is that fucking?
I think I've told this part the story of the podcast before but a German ICQ
Which was adjacent around the same time as aim. It was a similar chat program. Hmm, so I see Q
I was chatting with a
girl when I was younger and
Like I was told her like I was chatting with a girl when I was younger, and I told her I was 17, whatever.
One of those things where it's someone you just know from online.
And she reached a certain point and she was like,
can you send a picture?
And this was pre, it wasn't like
ready availability of digital cameras.
Not like you had people have a fucking smartphone
where you could just take a selfie on the fly.
You had to have a picture of yourself uploaded on the computer computer. Yeah. Yeah, so I didn't have one
So I instead sent her a pic of my dad and I said
This is my look like I look like this but like 30 years younger
She was like you don't look 17 and then she stopped talking to me
She was like, you don't look 17, and then she stopped talking to me. Yeah.
I explained it.
I thought I explained it pretty clearly.
It's usually the opposite.
It's usually like a grown man pretending to be 13.
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, now he sends a picture and he says, I look like this, but 30 years older.
The blonde hair.
The blonde hair guy.
That is very funny.
Why is this?
Early internet era.
I remember G-chatting.
G-chat?
Yeah, I remember Alex Ferney and I would G-chat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was a big G-chatter.
He was a big G-chatter.
Yeah, yeah.
ICQ, was this like before 4chan or something like that?
It would have predated 4chan.
I know you're making a joke, but I mean.
I was saying it sounds like a QAnon fucking.
Yeah, you're saying like a proto-4chan.
That's what you're saying,
but yeah, it does predate it, I think. All right, well, thank you for giving me
the real answer, you asshole.
I was trying to say you're a QAnon guy.
You turned it on me, that's okay.
That's very funny.
Yeah.
Poor girl.
Actually, I'm sure everything worked out.
I used to always-
Oh, for the better for her.
I would always cyber and send pictures,
and I was all into that.
Wow.
Wow, really?
Yeah. And I'd lie. I'd be like, I'm, you know, I'm a fucking, I would always cyber and send pictures and I was all into that.
Wow.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
And I'd lie.
I'd be like, I'm 17, female, Texas,
and I was really like 12.
Oh, damn. Wow.
And then my dad was like,
you could be talking to the guy across the street
you don't even know.
Right.
And then I was like, but I'm lying too.
And then I got really weirded out
because I was like, we both don't know who we're talking to.
Yeah, it's true.
The nineties were crazy.
It's true.
It's very true.
Wild West out there.
It's true.
I'm not gonna touch it.
I'm too afraid to touch it.
But I love those Yahoo chat rooms.
Oh my God, I loved them.
They were so fun.
Yeah.
I'm too afraid to touch it.
Yeah, I think that's smart.
Bad time.
I think I'll just leave it.
Leave it there. Don't touch it. Dan, I think that's smart. Bad time. I think I'll just leave it, leave it there.
Don't touch it.
Dan Schneider.
That's all I was, that's what I was gonna say.
I haven't watched that yet.
I watched it, it's bad.
Oh yeah, I hear ya.
It's bad.
I gotta watch this thing.
Well, put it on your list.
Well, I gotta watch, when I finish it,
I'll put it on my list. I know, I was just saying,
you're gonna put it on the list, yeah.
All right, I'm excited.
I love a doc.
I'm into docs, I think docs have gotten too long.
They've gotten too long,
and they've also, they stretch them out so much.
I'm like, this could have been a commercial.
Exactly, yeah.
Netflix is really milking it.
Give me the 90-minute doc self-contained thing.
I don't need the six-part mini-series,
but I know the economics of it.
Did people expect a six-parter?
I can't tell.
I watched that documentary, and you told me the craziest Dan Schneider story
that's not in that story.
Oh, it's not in the doc.
It's not in the doc.
That's funny.
But it's insane.
We'll tell you afterwards.
Were you a child actor?
No.
With that blonde hair and that oboe?
Could have been.
The bass clarinet.
Bass clarinet, I'm sorry.
I did play the bassoon, which was a different double read,
but I never played the oboe.
I mean, I could have played the oboe, I'm sure.
Yeah, sure.
You think you could still play right now
if we got one out?
Yeah, I could. Wow.
We were talking about this, Mitch,
and this was a weird thing.
This is a thing you engineered.
It was a fun surprise.
Yes.
You brought up someone,
we were doing a live show in Denver,
and you brought up a fan on stage.
That's right.
With a bassoon, an instrument I had not touched in 20 years,
but I was in California Allstate Orchestra as a high school senior. Yes, and
So, you know I was very I was a very accomplished amateur bassoonist
And I was able to play a does bill. I was able to wail on that thing
I could play I asked you to play the Simpsons afterwards. Did you play that or I played Kevin's Country?
Which is the closing scene for the tonight's JLo Tonight Show
Take us away Kevin I played Kevin's Country, which is the closing scene for the J-Lo Tonight Show. Wow.
Hey, that's a good show.
Take us away, Kevin.
Oh, no.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
That's a great leno.
He did it for me.
Oh, the leno is perfect.
I got to say, you knocked it out of the park.
You're up there.
Even in that high altitude?
Oh, yeah.
Up there in that high altitude, he's blown into this oboe. Well, that's not how I hold it Up there in that high altitude. He's blown into this hobo.
Well, that's not how I hold it, but yeah, keep going.
He's blown into this bad boy.
I also was a bassoon.
It's a bassoon.
He's blown into this bassoon.
His spit park's going everywhere.
It's the day that the NBA shut down the season
because of COVID.
That's where I was gonna say this was gonna land on.
And that's what it was.
It's zero.
We did this whole thing.
They brought up a stranger's wind instrument.
And I- Put your mouth out. I put my mouth all over it. She did bring a stranger's wind instrument. And I put my mouth over it.
She did bring a fresh read for you.
She did bring a fresh read, which was a nice precaution.
That's what she said. We don't know.
Audience fucking, you know, crammed into a room this size.
Thankfully...
Then we did a meet and greet.
And this is the day before, like, everything shut down.
Like the next day we flew back,
canceled the rest of the tour.
Did y'all get COVID?
I did not get COVID in that first block,
but I ultimately did get it.
I got yelled at by a lady in the airport
for wearing an N95 mask.
A lady who was a nurse.
Wow.
She was like, those are my masks.
No, she was like, those don't do anything for you.
Wow.
Nurse, that's what she said.
Yikes, well, we didn't know anything back then, you know? We didn't know anything back then. Wow. Nurse, that's what she said. Yikes, well we didn't know anything back then, you know?
We didn't know anything back then.
Wow, the before times.
Dan Schneider was on tour with us at that point.
He was great, he was really good.
Yeah, he was awesome.
Is that the lead singer of the B-52s?
Dan Schneider?
No, very different man,
nothing I don't think problematic about Fred Schneider.
Oh, Fred Schneider, yeah.
Fred Schneider, yeah, yeah.
Oh, we should get to our final.
Hey, guy!
That's why I did a little impression.
I guess it'd been Fred Schneider.
Take it away, Kevin.
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
I like that your impression of Leno
is then turns into an impression of Kevin doing the song.
That's what the episodes would end.
Yeah.
Hey, I was, I watched a lot of Leno. I's what the episodes would end. Yeah.
Hey, I watched a lot of Leonard.
I was a Leno head.
I was, I mean,
Letterman I think is-
Driver headlines!
I think that was great.
I was kidding.
Letterman is the funnier man.
I just, I liked Conan,
so I always had Leno on to watch Conan.
Which I know Leno is the less cool one. Yeah.
I mean, this is the thing.
It was always, I like, whatever.
It's good that there were two different shows for
two different audiences.
Yeah.
I was always more of a Letterman guy.
I was more of a Conan guy.
Of course.
I like Leno.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People were too hard on Leno.
But a lot of it was cause of the Conan fallout, but
still people were too hard on Leno.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Mitch, did you know that nearly 75% of people have But still, people were too hard on life. Yeah. subscriptions each and every month. Between streaming services, fitness apps, and delivery services it's never ending. Thanks to Rocket Money, I'm no longer wasting money on the
ones I forgot about.
Wow. Wigs, Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions,
monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so that you can grow your savings. With
Rocket Money, I have full control over my subscriptions and a clear view of my expenses.
I can see all of my subscriptions in one place, and if I see something I don't want, Rocket
Money can help me cancel it with a few taps.
Doughboy's Patreon, the Doughboy's double, bye bye!
Mitch, I love how the dashboard shows me this month's spending compared to last month so
I can clearly see my spending habits.
Plus, they'll help me create a custom budget and keep my spending on track. Rocket Money will even
try to negotiate to lower your bills for you by up to 20%. All you have to do is
submit a picture of your bill and Rocket Money takes care of the rest. They'll
deal with customer service for you themselves, Wigs! Wow! Rocket Money has
over 5 million users and has saved a total of 500 million dollars in canceled
subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the apps
features. Wow. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted
subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash doughboys. Do it.
All right we should get to our final thoughts on Mr. Charlie's. So Jackie, Jackster, you've done the show before.
We're going to each go around.
Once every three years.
We'll get you back sooner.
We're going to get you back sooner.
Would you ever do a double?
What is that?
That's like the Patreon one?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Really?
Shout out to the Patreon people.
Wow.
I have a Patreon myself.
Shout out your Patreon.
I just want to say right here.
Yeah.
We could just do a Mitch G glam over. Oh my god, but we have to film it
Of course, yeah, of course. I could get those those no strips back out. Remember how disgusting your nose strip was?
Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen a more disgusting nose strip in my life
And that was before video that was just for us. We I would we could do a Mitch glam overwags. Oh man I've never worn a I wore an open-toed shoe today. This is two weeks old, so it's a little bit scuffed up. Wow, it looks good. Thank you.
I specifically wore this today because of you,
because I was like, oh, we got the Jackster
from Natch Butte here.
I got an impressor with my Tootsies.
What made you choose this purple?
The Lakers playoff run, although they're probably
already eliminated by now.
So when you go in there, you have no hesitation to be like,
give me a gel-colored Eddie.
No, I love it.
Okay, I love that about you, honey.
Toxic masculinity, who?
Yeah, and I like it with the toes,
cause you know.
Yeah, when you need to be corporate and pulled together,
you just put a sock on.
Exactly, 100%.
Okay, yeah, we see you, King.
Yeah.
What about you, Mitch?
What about your toes?
Oof, should I take mine out for a second?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know if I should.
I mean, mine are not good.
We can make a pedicure part of the glam app.
I love it.
Oh my god, let's do it.
We could get some people in here to give us
manicures and pedicures as we're recording.
I'm just saying we could.
The possibilities are endless, honestly.
I love all of this.
No, I want to do, I have some patches
I need to stick on that face.
And we need to do the brows.
We need a lot of them.
I'm down.
Remember we put the face mask on it?
I do.
And it was tiny.
Yes.
Remember it was just like this little hat in the middle.
Do they make extra large sheet masks?
I'll look.
I'll do my research.
It was like putting a silver dollar pancake in the middle of a plate.
Yes, it was exactly that.
And you said he looked like Cummy Santa?
I do, I do the little Santa come, yeah.
That was your old apartment.
The old apartment, gone now, it's gone.
That's the one where you got pranked, right?
That's where I got pranked, yeah.
Okay, Ben, my second husband and I
watched that the other night.
It's so hard to find, you know, that's like, bootleg.
And we were dying laughing.
When we thought everything would live
on the internet forever,
and it turned out to not be the case at all, really.
A lot of work just lost, more so than even
early TV stuff, because everything like that was on tapes,
and the internet stuff, they just fucking wipe the computer,
wipe it off the what, it's gone.
Yeah, if a still existing,
unless a still existing network wants it
on their YouTube specifically, then it's just gone.
Because a lot of the stuff was on legacy video websites
and those are all fucking dead, you know?
And then if it's on YouTube,
it has to be a channel that still exists, but.
Yeah, good luck finding Grape Lady.
Calling it NFT now.
So we'll each go around, we'll give our clothes,
but yes, Jack's trick, returning to it,
returning to booking you on the show.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm available.
We know you got, we know you're busy,
we know you would get a kid,
and we're just always, Mitch and I-
You don't need to make excuses.
Every three years, y'all call, and that's fine.
Mitch and I always feel like we're bothering you
when we go out to you.
Do I give that impression?
No, I just know you got stuff going on,
but we love to have you on.
I mean, do we give the impression, are we bothersome?
No!
Really? Do I ever say no when you call me every three years?
No.
That's a good point.
If I did, then y'all wouldn't be calling.
The show sucks.
The show sucks.
We'll get you on sooner.
We love having you here.
You're one of our favorite guests.
The last time I was on, y'all kept
saying how bad the episode was.
I remember being like, wow.
But then they all do that every episode.
Yeah.
So I didn't really feel special.
Things haven't gotten better.
We've gotten older and dumber.
Things have not gotten good.
People can now hear us and see us not be funny.
That's right.
Will you hand me that plant?
This is like a monstera, I believe.
Is it really?
It looks like a mini monstera.
It's a pothos, but a monstera leaf.
I just wanted to kind of like, whoa, whoa. Like, I just think, I don Monstera. It's a Pothos, but a Monstera leaf. I just wanted to like, kind of like, whoa, whoa.
Like I just, I don't know.
That's a good bit.
Yeah, yeah, I just thought I'd do something like that.
This is why, this is why, this is why we have,
this is why we have video.
This is why we have video,
so you know you can like put a plant on your head.
Whoa, whoa, I'm plant based, whoa.
Whoa.
We're going viral again.
You got good balance.
Is this anything?
Oh shit.
I mean, I like how you took a,
got a much smaller plant on your much bigger head.
It's like the silver dollar pancake on the plate.
Now that's a Pothos.
This is kind of like us this episode.
Oh, why?
So I have better balance than you?
Cause this is-
This is a hard one to balance.
No, I'm cheating.
Cause this is wrapped around my chin.
I don't really have balance like this. Why is that? I think I might have better balance than you. No is this is a hard one to balance. I'm cheating because this is wrapped around my chin I don't really have balance like
this. I think I might have better balance than you. No I have great balance.
This is tough. Hold on. Maybe your hair is still silky smooth. Here here's swap. Whoa whoa
swap here swap. I think that one has a bigger base but I think y'all should try
this one because it's automatic. Oh you're right this one is a bigger base, but I don't know y'all should try this one cuz it's automatic. Oh
You're right. This one is wow a little trickier Wow
We're going viral right now uh-oh
Zoom that camera out, sweetie. I don't like this
Whoa That Jim's paying off. I'm what I have a flat top head more so than yeah
This is tough cuz This is picky.
Because I'm doing a lot better.
Where are you balancing it at?
Just on the flat top of my head.
Okay, so you're doing it a little bit more forward.
I think that's the trick. Yeah.
It still wants to lean.
How many episodes have you all done?
You've never put the plants on your head yet?
We've never done this.
I also like that the guy who fell and hit his noggin in the bathroom and spills constantly
says I have great balance. I do have great balance. Just hard
to balance things on my head.
You guys have I have a huge head.
Yeah, Jackie's balance.
Jackie's doing great.
Jackie, you got good balance. I got pretty good balance.
The Pilates are paying off.
That's a good look. It hides the eyebrows. This is us this episode. We're, this is
how plant based we are in this episode. Oh, wise can't get it
right. So that the three of us have Charlie's did to us. Oh,
so I see you get a pretty far forward.
He can't he's, he's like not barely opening his mouth.
Yeah, yeah, it looks like he blew a fuse.
And old Barry still, yeah.
Anyways, let's get to our final thoughts on this.
Final thoughts.
So Jackie, you've done the podcast before.
Yes.
We'll rate the chain from zero to five forks,
your thoughts on Mr. Yes. We'll rate the chain from zero to five forks. Your thoughts on Mr. Charlie's.
Okay.
Obviously, points for getting the vegan message out there.
The nostalgia of the taste of McDonald's,
that goes very far with me.
Why are with his hands in the air so creepy, by the way?
I just don't enjoy it.
I'm gonna have them on standby
in case something starts to topple.
Okay, there we go, I'll do that
to make everyone feel comfortable.
This is called the cactus pose.
You said to five forks?
Yeah, do it on five forks.
Okay, plant-based, great.
McDonald's nostalgic taste, great.
The message of the company,
I like that they employ unhoused slash incarcerated folks.
We love that.
They need a soda fountain.
They need to up their pussy game on the fries.
Yeah, sure.
Wait, what?
They need to step their pussy game up on the fries.
You heard what I said.
Oh, I heard it right then, yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I also think that they need an indoor cute space.
By the way, I just want to talk about how, I just want to talk about how,
if you said that to them, how endearing it would be.
And if I said that to them, how threatening it would be.
Yeah.
You need to up the pussy game on these fries.
I was trying not to laugh. Now that is a viral meme clip. Pussy game on these fries
So I'm I'm gonna go ahead and be generous and give it four.
Four spoons.
Four forks and spoons.
We reviewed spoons last time you were here.
And guess what?
I'm giving an extra one,
making it four for the white sauce bitches.
Wow.
White sauce redemption.
Justice for the white sauce.
Four forks.
Another thing that Mitch and I should not be saying, justice for the white sauce. Four forks. Another thing that Mitch and I should not be saying,
justice for the white sauce.
We need to bring justice for the white sauce.
Wise, do you want to go next or how do you feel?
Yeah, I'll go next.
I'll go next because I know exactly where I stand
and I know where this place is headed.
McCharlies, I'm sorry, Mr. Charlie's.
I almost called it- Mr., I think I've been calling it that. Yeah, but it's natural to headed. McCharlies, I'm sorry, Mr. Charlie's. I almost called it-
Mr. I think I've been calling it that.
Yeah, but it's natural to call it McCharlies
because it's trying to do McDonald's.
But Mr. Charlie's.
Mr. Charlie's.
With the enough plausible deniability
to claim that it's not directly inspired
by McDonald's, though it clearly is,
I think belongs to the Golden Plate Club.
Golden Arches Club, if you will.
I think this is a four fork chain.
I think it's a pretty impressive execution.
I agree with the Jackster.
It could, you know, up the pussy game on its fries.
It definitely could add some desserts.
I think why not a vegan apple pie?
Fountain drinks, please.
Why not a vegan McFlurry?
Why not an attempt at the Classic Sunday
with the hot fudge and the nuts?
That would be a lot of fun, right?
I think they probably could explore more
of the McDonald's menu, but I do think as it stands,
I think this is a very impressive chain
and I think it's a good concept
and I think they're doing good stuff
and I can look past some of the obnoxious aspects
of the branding to give this four forks
because I think that's what it deserves.
I'm not sure if I'm there, I'm not sure if I'm there on the...
This is insane.
All right, well, we'll keep doing it.
I'm not sure if I'm there on the four forks.
I wonder if you can convince me on the four forks
or if you want me to convince me.
I don't need to convince you.
You should say what you think.
There were interesting sodas there.
I had the white grape soda.
And these are canned sodas, to be clear.
You should just stop trying to do the plant thing.
It's falling-
I've been doing pretty good. It's falling off the plant thing. I've been doing pretty good.
It's falling off your head constantly.
Can I try the little one?
Yeah, sure.
Can I try the little one?
You're going to do.
You've done great with each one.
I had mine steady on my head for a while.
We look like freaking Pikmins.
Wives?
Yeah, we do like freaking Pikmins.
I'm drinking soda while still.
Captain Olimar going to come in here with freaking Pikmins. I'm balancing it while drinking soda. Yeah, that do like like we're gonna take me and I'm drinking soda while Captain Olimar gonna come in here with like freakin
Pikmin's I'm balancing it while drinking so that's impressive
like freakin Pikmin's
I'm over here looking like Bulbasaur. What the fuck's going on here?
Why you look like freakin Bulbasaur you look like Pikmin's you look like you look like the
You look like like a creep trying to like hide in an elementary school parking lot.
Weigert looks like the most boring guy on a roller coaster.
Oh, I'm having fun now. Um, I, uh, I thought what this chain is trying to do is be the vegan version of McDonald's.
And I think that it is very, I think they do a very good job of doing it.
And I, and it's tough for me because I don't know if this is a full four fork
chain, but then I've also been accused of being anti-vegetarian, uh, in the
tournament people thought I had out for the potato soft taco.
Um, if you think it's a four fork Jane and you're a vegan, I think that
that does a lot for me because I was around 3.75 forks.
Can you do that?
3.75.
Yeah, you can do that.
You can, you can do anything you want on this fucking bullshit podcast.
Um, but I, I wasn't, I'm not entirely sure.
I think that they got to up their French fries.
They got to get soda.
To up the pussy game?
That's, that's why for me, I feel like it's closer to 3.75 and I feel sad to ruin
the golden play club.
I would if I were you.
And I would feel too sad.
That's why I'm not going to do it.
Wow.
I'll give it four forks
Four forks, congratulations to Mr. Charlie's welcome to the Golden Plate Club, Richly Deserves
Wow
Look at us plant heads
Clearly he like doesn't want to talk or do too much with the plant on his head
Take it off your fucking head!
I was doing pretty good.
You're not gonna balance this stuff on your head.
You might have good balance.
I do have good balance.
The issue is I think it's my head shape, because I realize I have to put it pretty far forward
on my head.
It naturally feels like it should rest up here, but I have to push it pretty far.
Because this is a flat of parts right here.
It's that USB port.
It's fucking...
Alright.
Can't balance it on it.
Yeah, if there was a plug on the plan it would fit great
Actually, I'm gonna go ahead and say you suck at it. You're bad. I'm good at it. No you're not
You're not good at it. You're the worst of the three. Yeah, but it's hard listen. We can't play the bassoon
Yeah, you're great at the yeah, we all have our strengths
Well, give me got Look, I got it.
Give me a couple of weeks. I think I could help.
Bisonia, no chance.
You can you can help assume the both of us.
Yes. But you suck with the fucking plant.
I did. I would agree. Not everybody's got it.
All right.
Those are Charlie's.
I've got a food related exam and Mitch and the Jackster must compete for superiority.
It's another edition of Slop Quiz.
Wow, our second quiz today.
And there is a mystery theme here.
Wow!
Oh, you know, if you can figure out the mystery theme,
you get an extra point.
I'm gonna go into laptop mode here
so they can keep the score.
So, buzzing with your name,
I will ask each question in sequence.
The first question is,
which Hershey's chocolate bar is known for its milk chocolate and peanut combo?
Wait what? Which Hershey's chocolate bar is known for its milk chocolate and
peanut combo? Which milk chocolate? Jackie. Go ahead Jackie. The milk chocolate
peanut bar? It is not the milk chocolate peanut bar. I'm confused by this question.
Which Hershey's chocolate bar is known for its milk chocolate and peanut combo?
I don't know. I was gonna say Snickers, but like that's not Hershey's.
No, it's gotta be a Hershey's bar.
It's Marlboro's.
We were searching for Mr. Good Bar.
Oh, Mr. Good Bar.
I'm an idiot.
I used to love those. I'm an idiot. I used to love those.
I'm an idiot.
I didn't.
Casey would have gotten it.
You know like at Halloween.
I miss thinking Mr. Goodbar.
You know Halloween when there's the little variety bag with the little, yeah.
Yeah.
The little yellow one.
It's been a long time since I had a Mr. Goodbar.
Yeah.
All right, question two.
Next up, this snack food brand mascot was conceived in 1916 through a school boys sketch in a design contest.
Once chosen as a winner, a commercial artist added a top hat, monocle, and candy.
Jackie!
Jaxter.
Mr. Peanut.
It is Mr. Peanut.
Bitches.
Mitch, the theme is peanuts.
Mitch, you are not right.
Are we allowed to chime in before you finish?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, no, that was fine there all right next up rude now
Which brand of all-purpose product features a bald muscular hunk is its master?
I heard Mitch mr.. Clean you are correct. It is mr.. Clean. Yes
I knew that I get us all the time. I get confused for him
That makes sense
Number four which brand founded in 1956
is famous for this catchy jingle?
I'm just gonna play the jingle.
Oh, oh God, I know this.
We're hearing like a little bit like
what something might be played from a truck.
Jackie.
Yes.
Mr. Goodbar? Not Mr. Goodbar. Wait, can you play it again I do I know this this is a
jingle that might be played from a moving vehicle
Casey's got it
It can need an answer spoon man. I know this is driving us.
Is there a time limit?
No, but I mean, you know, within reason.
Jackie good.
No, no.
I already said Mr. Go Barf.
Screams.
You were right. You gave it said Mr. Goodbar, fuck. I'm trying to think of other ice creams.
I'm trying to think of other ice creams.
Oh, you were right.
You gave it to me, good humor.
No, it's not good humor.
Oh, see, I knew there was another one with good.
I knew there was another one with good.
Is it Mr. Frosty?
It is Mr. Softy, but you are close.
Wrong, bitch.
You're close with the Mr. though, Mr. Goodbar.
You're close.
All right, next up, this character is described
by its creator as a child in a grown man's body
and was developed while he was studying
for his master's in electrical engineering
in the early 1980s.
Child in a grown man's body?
Yes.
Bitch.
Yeah.
Criker?
Yeah.
I'm a totally young buddy.
Okay, a mascot.
One more time.
This character is described by its creator
as a child in a grown man's body
and was developed while he was studying
for his master's in electrical engineering
in the early 1980s.
1980s?
Child in a grown man's body.
Also, if you haven't figured out the theme,
the theme may be a clue here.
Mascots?
The theme is not mascots. It's more specific.
Pedophiles?
Oh, can I get a point for the theme?
Yes, go ahead.
The answers all have Mr. in the name.
You are correct.
And the answer here is, I have no fucking idea.
The Six Flags guy, is he Mr. Somebody?
Mr. Six.
It's not the Six Flags guy.
Mr. Six, it's not Mr. Six?
Jackie, you wanna take a guess?
Dr. Feelgood?
Not Dr. Feelgood.
Mr. Good and Plenty?
It was Rowan Atkinson's Mr. Bean, of course.
Mr. Bean, also a food.
I was thinking, I was thinking in the food world.
Well, it is in the food world.
Bean is in there.
Number six, what international baked goods chain are you in?
Eye Roll.
I mean, no.
Mr. Bean, we don't think of food when we hear Mr. Bean.
I'm saying, you've given me a hard time, you've given him a hard time,
but now after hearing that,
it's good to give him the hard times.
Look at this fucking, what is that shit?
Mr. Bean?
It's food, Mitch. Mr. Bean ain't no damn food.
It's not food, Wags.
I think it counts.
I get a point for that Mr. Mister.
Yeah, you get a point for the mister.
You got two points, Jackie has one.
You get your point.
Next up, what international baked goods chain
originally founded in the U.S. in 1956
is still popular in Japan, Taiwan, and Southeast Asia?
Can you say it again?
What international baked goods chain
originally founded in the U.S. in 1956
is still popular in Japan, Taiwan, and Southeast Asia?
We know there's gonna be a mister prefix.
Yeah, we know that.
Also, did anyone catch that I said
there was a mystery theme here?
Mister.
I did not get that.
That was good.
I don't know.
This is a good quiz.
I'm gonna give you credit, it's a good quiz.
I'm really good at the quiz.
But yeah, it is a good quiz.
Oh, so you didn't matter, that makes sense.
You're pretty shitty at quizzes.
Bread, bread, so you didn't matter. That makes sense. Cause you're pretty shitty at quizzes.
Um,
Uh, I don't, I don't, I have no idea.
We're looking for Mr.
Donut.
Mr.
Donut.
Mr.
Donut.
Not, don't feel bad about it.
Mr.
Donut.
Oh, I don't.
Don't feel bad.
What is the online alias of next up?
What is the online alias of James Steven Donaldson,
a YouTuber with over 245 million subscribers.
Jackie!
Mr. Beast.
It is Mr. Beast.
Fuck, I knew that one.
Founder of a restaurant we reviewed, Mr. Beast Burger,
now subject of a lawsuit against Robert Earl
and his empire of ghost kitchens.
Next up, this 1886 Gothic novella written by Robert Louis Stevenson
explores themes about the duality of human nature
and features a scientist looking to separate his good side from his bad.
Oh, I know this.
Uh, no, I don't.
No, I'm all, no.
Say it again?
I do know this.
This 1886 gothic novella written by Robert Louis Stevenson.
Does anyone's heads hurt from having the fucking plan
on your head?
No.
No.
Give me that hand.
No.
No.
Robert Louis Stevenson, like my vision's been fuzzy.
Robert Louis Stevenson explores themes
about the duality of human nature
and features a scientist looking to separate
his good side from his bad.
Oh, wait, but it's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
No. Yes, I'll give it to you. No, that's what I was gonna say, but that's Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Yes, I'll give it to you.
No, that's what I was gonna say, but that's not Mr.
The strange case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
Oh, I see you, King.
Yeah, Mitch takes that one.
It's three to two, Mitch to Jackie.
I knew that, but I was confused.
There's two left.
Wait, I have three points?
You have three points.
Don't rub it in, bitch.
There's two left, it's anyone's game.
It's anyone's game.
Anyone's game.
Number nine, King Friday the 13thth lady Elaine Fairchild and Mr. Mc
mr. Rogers neighbor it is mr. Rogers neighborhood which is gonna win but we
had we do have one more why don't we get they make this one for all the marbles
okay then this one will decide oh whoever wins this one wins the whole
game yeah oh shit I see you pertinent to this week's chain what band wrote the
song mr. Charlie which served as inspiration for the vegan restaurant of the same name I
Have I'm assuming this doesn't have a mister in the title because that one mister is in the clue
It is not in the answer say it one more time. What band wrote the song mr
Charlie which served as inspiration for the vegan restaurant of the same name
Charlie, which served as inspiration for the vegan restaurant of the same name.
Is this an 80s band?
It could be called an 80s band. It's certainly a band that you would go see live in concert.
Maybe consume a little- The Eagles?
It's not the Eagles.
Aerosmith.
Not Aerosmith.
No, this is a bit more of a jam band.
Oh, Fish?
Not Fish.
A jam band. The Grable Dead? Give it to Jackie Wins. Congratulations. Oh, fish? Oh man. Not fish. A jam band. The Grateful Dead?
It is the Grateful Dead.
Give it to Jackie Wins.
Congratulations.
What the fuck?
Jackie Wins.
What the fuck?
As per Mitch's rules.
That's what happens when you risk it all.
When you're not there.
Fuck.
This isn't fair.
At the end of the game.
I'm sorry, but it is.
It's not fair.
At the end of the game,
I was all dizzy from the plant being on my head.
I didn't know what to do.
I was like, I'm sorry, but it is.
I'm sorry, but it is. I'm sorry, but it is. I'm sorry, but it is. I'm sorry, but it is. I'm sorry, I was all dizzy from the plant being on my head.
I didn't know what was going on.
Do you guys have soft spots?
He was also pulling his head apart earlier.
He looks fucked up now.
It did make my vision blurry.
Hey, just like a restaurant, let's have more feedback.
Today's email is from Brian.
There's no Mr. Slice answer?
My old nickname.
Where is there a Mr. Slice?
This is my name, my old.
So the clue would have been
what's Mitch's old nickname.
What about the band Mr. Mr.?
Mr. Mr. would have been good.
What was their song?
Roxana.
Oh yeah. No wait, that's Toto.
They have a song called Kiri that's really good.
Okay.
I remember there was a band called Mr. Big, too.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Oh yeah, that would've been fun.
And then there was also Mr. Big, of course, on.
Geez, that would've been, both of those would've been fun.
What the hell, those would've been fun.
The Amelia at the note.
Just like the restaurant of our your feedback.
Yeah.
Take these broken wings.
Oh, that's a banger.
And burn to fly and burn.
He has amazing vocals.
He's in Ringo Starr's All-Star Band.
Really?
And he sounds like an angel, still.
Wow. Wow.
Still.
Wow, that's cool.
That's cool.
Take these chicken wings and learn to fry again.
Fry again.
Yeah, there you go.
You said it, you said fry.
I will do it for a future segment.
Just like a restaurant, buy your feedback,
let's open the feedback.
Today's email is from Brian.
Brian writes, hey guys, haven't sent in a feedback question
in a long time.
I'm curious, what famous fast food item
has seen the steepest drop off in quality or taste
in the last 20 years?
I'd argue that a plain McDonald's cheeseburger
doesn't taste the same after all these years.
Wow, that's a wild take.
What do you think?
I have not noticed a change
in the plain McDonald's cheeseburger.
Jackie, I'm wondering.
I have an answer.
Is there anything you're still eating
from when you were younger?
Like is there any sort of consistency, coherency there,
or has your diet changed so drastically
that there's nothing that you have a commonality with?
I remember a few years,
I mean, this is, I guess, a long time ago now,
but I went to the one Sonic semi-near us
in Duarte, California.
Oh, yeah, I've been to that Sonic.
I'm sure we've all been.
Yes.
Catherine Burns, who we brought up already,
was house-sitting somewhere semi-closer there, and we've all been. Yes. Catherine Burns, who we brought up already, was house sitting somewhere semi-close to there,
and we drove all the way to the Duarte,
and I was so excited.
I got a grilled cheese sandwich.
This was when I was just vegetarian.
I took a bite.
It was disgusting.
Wow.
Salty, oily, and I just remember being like,
has my palate shifted, or is just this,
this was always trash, and I just didn't know it.
I don't know if Sonic has stepped his pussy game
back up since then, but it was nasty.
Shout out to the ocean waters.
And the cherry limeades.
Catherine also did the choreography for Renfield.
That's right.
That's how, I think that's how you got brought up.
Director of Tomorrow.
Yeah. Wow. And producer of Tomorrow, Samantha, who's been That's right. That's how I think that's how you got brought up. Director of Tomorrow. Yeah. Um, and producer tomorrow, Samantha, who's
been on the podcast.
Um, I have an answer for this and it's, we talked
about this during Munch Madness.
Yeah.
My answer is Pizza Hut Pan Pizza.
Yeah.
Pizza Hut's fallen off so much.
Pizza Hut Pan Pizza was good.
Yeah.
When we were, when we were younger, they cooked it in a pan.
It was buttery and crisp.
It was in an oven.
What are they cooking in now?
Not an oven?
I think mostly conveyor belts at Pizza Hut now,
like the little fucking shitty.
They just get a blowtorch and just finish it off.
It is kind of what happens now.
Those conveyor belt ovens
that they have at those pizza chains.
Right.
Uh, I think that's probably my answer is that pizza hut pan pizza likes.
Is there, I know that there's other stuff on there, there's stuff here in Hollywood
that where I'm like, and I'm still loyal to it.
Like I don't go to, um, uh, what's it called?
A cactus taqueria as much anymore.
And I do think it sometimes can be hit or miss.
But so much of those places that took,
have taken a fall in the 20 years I've been out here
is like these restaurants that are full,
also have gone through a pandemic.
Right.
You know what I mean?
And 20 years in Los Angeles was by,
I mean like Chi dynasty being open still is a miracle.
I didn't even know it was still there.
Yeah, there's so many restaurants where, look,
if you're a restaurant that lasts even 10 years,
even eight years, that is an accomplishment.
It's a tough industry.
So, and out here, it's obviously very hard.
So when you're talking about like fast food items,
I think that's a little bit trickier
because I feel like it's up and down.
We've been talking about how Wendy's fries
have really fallen off. That was gonna be my answer, Wendy's fries, but also it's, you know, it's up and down. We've been talking about how Wendy's fries have really fallen off.
That was going to be my answer, Wendy's fries, but also it's not, no, it's okay,
because it's also not exactly what Brian is asking, which I think is because they've
revised Wendy's fries a few times.
They've been like, we got new fries, check out our new fries.
Like they're trying to introduce them as a refresh.
Yeah.
Like a refresh or rebranding is they're doing a bad job.
But I think it's more interesting, for instance,
we're coming on the opposite side
of our Taco Bell tournament.
I think the bean burrito has been very consistent
at Taco Bell over the years.
I feel like that's like very familiar
versus the bean burrito I remember having as a boy.
The winner of the Taco Bell tournament?
The Mexican pizza.
Who knows?
People know by now.
The Mexican pizza, however,
I feel like has fallen off quite a bit.
I don't feel like it's like quite at the same level
that it used to be.
I feel like Dunkin' Donuts donuts used to be so good.
Oh, that's a great one.
And they've fallen off over the past couple decades.
I feel like sometimes you can get Dunkin' Donuts
that still hits, as they say.
Yes.
But I feel like a lot of the time,
when you're getting-
Not the same as when they baked the donuts in-house.
That's the big thing. And the bagels, they used That's the big thing. They have a central kitchen now.
And they're shipping them into the stores instead of
baking them in-store. Obviously that's going to make a different...
Did y'all hear about the Wendy's
thing where if you go at certain times, they charge you
different? That was the thing, they floated.
I think that was like a trial balloon and I don't think
they're ever actually going to end it.
Why would you ever think that was a good idea in this economy?
It's just dumb tech brain.
Yeah, I was mad too.
It is dumb tech brain.
If they tomorrow, if Wendy said,
we're bringing back our old fries, how crazy?
Everyone would, so many people would go back
to get the old fries.
Were they the ones that had the skins on them?
They, originally they didn't.
They used to not have skins, then they added skin.
Like they added skin probably, what, 15 years ago or something now?
At least?
I don't remember the exact timeline, but yeah, that was a big thing they introduced,
and it was like, whatever.
Like all natural or something?
Exactly, which is, who fucking gives a shit? It's the potato.
But yeah, they just have never quite landed on it.
It goes back to what we're saying about McDonald's fries.
You jack off on that potato? Is that what you're doing there?
No, it's just making a jack off motion,
like this is like a dumb thing to, you know, it's whatever.
Like, oh, we're gonna have surge pricing for our Wendy's.
Yeah, fucking whatever.
You know, just a little frustration jack off motion.
I couldn't tell if you were jacking up on it,
like an oaky potato.
No, I was gonna jack off onto the fries.
Okay, all right, all right.
I didn't know if you were spilling cream on the potato.
No.
Spilling whites?
Spilling whites.
Spilling whites on a potato,
if it's a certain white, can be good.
If it was the sauce from today,
I still can never remember the name of this place.
Mr. Charlie's. Mr. Charlie's, yeah.
That is now in the golden plate club.
That's right. Mr. Charlie's.
I'm trying to think of anything else.
I mean, like Jack in the Box tacos,
I feel like are pretty frozen in time.
I don't think those have really,
I'm just trying to think of stuff that I've had consistently over the the Box tacos, I feel like are pretty frozen in time. I don't think those have really, I'm just trying to think of stuff
they've had consistently over the years.
I don't feel like that one has changed all that much.
Do y'all drink coffee?
I do.
What about the coffee chains?
Has there been consistency
among the drinks at the coffee places?
Well, I've never loved Starbucks.
I don't know if I've noticed any sort of drop off.
I have you? I don't drink coffee. Do noticed any sort of drop off. You know, I have you?
I don't drink coffee.
Do you drink any coffee?
I drink matcha.
Are you, so are you very like,
like are you just not like coffee
or just like midnight your caffeine?
No, I had to get off it.
Yeah.
I had, I was drinking the Trentas every day.
Oh yeah, that's tough.
And I was driving and I was like,
what's going on with my body?
So in 2013, I quit coffee, like,
and it was truly like detoxing. Wow, I quit coffee, and it was truly detoxing.
Wow.
And I had headaches and it was a nightmare
and I have not drank coffee since.
I've thought about doing that.
But are you caffeine free or you have some caffeine?
No, I drink matcha now.
Matcha has a little bit of caffeine.
I'm a matcha head.
Got it.
It's sustained energy as opposed to a spike in energy
which you get from coffee beans.
And do you drink that in the morning
like you would to coffee?
Okay.
I keep pondering it.
I mean, I actually just ordered a new French press
cause I'm just trying to have,
I'm trying to, I feel like it's for some reason
it's gonna make me have a little bit less coffee
than I do when I broke a big pot in the morning.
Yeah.
But-
Hey, if it ain't broke, don't fix it, you know?
Yeah, but I kind of fucking figure it out.
Cause I feel like I'm having too much caffeine.
Here's my question.
What gets the Austin powers award where from, if you went back in time to the
sixties and you in, in, in, you know, with the item tastes the same then as it does
now, right?
Like it's been in cryo sleep.
Nothing would.
Yeah.
Yeah, probably nothing.
No, we got all them GMOs and our corn and shit.
Yeah, they've tried and they've tried, and they just keep trying
to do the things of just like, you know,
slightly reducing like the size of a patty.
You know, it might be the same as that, the Whopper,
like that charbroiled whatever.
The Whopper's a pretty good answer, honestly.
That Whopper's pretty consistent.
The Whopper's pretty good.
I think that there's probably a quality dip
in that too, though.
There has to be. There has to be.
There's been all around, I mean,
not smaller.
In beauty product world, there are creams
that I spend $80 on and then I opened them recently
and they're like, what is this?
Just the ingredient grades are all going down,
the quality of our furniture and things, cars,
heaven forbid, you know, tap somebody in the parking lot
and your whole frigging' thing caves in.
Right.
I can't believe it.
Yeah.
This, it sucks.
Who's got all this money?
Where are the corporate greed fat cats
taking all the cash out of everything?
I agree.
Yeah.
Fucking Amir and uh.
Yeah.
Shit.
Jake.
Jake and Amir.
Yeah, you. In in a mirror. Yeah, you!
In that corner office.
All right, let's close the curtains.
That guy did close his office a few minutes ago,
and I think it's because he heard us,
and he was like, I'm trying to make calls over here.
Marty, Marty's got work to do.
Trying to make calls,
trying to get a replacement for Doughboys.
I need two fat guys who are kind of dumb, not very funny.
Oh, there's been a lot of those.
Yeah, this is a tough one.
You know what?
I have another one.
Mashed potatoes from KFC.
Mitch, that's a great answer.
Thank you.
They've gotten so much worse.
They've gotten really bad.
And there's a precipitous drop off
in quality of KFC sides.
Yeah, 100%.
That's very noticeable.
Thank you, Wags.
KFC mashed potatoes.
You know what, we end this episode on...
You and me.
This is how we end the episode.
Nice try.
Nice try. Nice try.
See you in three years.
If you have a question or comment
about the world of chain restaurants,
you can email
us at Feedbag at BirdFuck.com or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE.
That's 830-463-6844.
And to get the Dough Boys double our weekly bonus episode plus our entire pre-2018 back
catalog, subscribe at patreon.com slash Dough Boys.
Our producer is Emma Erbrink.
Our associate producer is Emilio Moreno.
Also.
Our engineer is Casey Donahue.
And our video editor is Mike Dorfman.
If you're on Patreon and you pay for a back catalog,
which is a picture of me and Wags back,
let us know, because we could charge for that.
So, we live in a dystopia now.
We'll sell pictures of Wags feet.
Whatever we need to get those subscribers.
I do get a minute to plug, right?
Of course, we're about to.
Oh, you can plug.
You're going to take as many minutes as you want.
If anyone's still listening. Jackie Johnson, our guest. Oh, you can plug, you're gonna take as many minutes as you want. If anyone's still listening.
Oh please! They're still gonna be listening.
No one's tapping out, they stayed to the very end.
Right, Wives?
They can't get enough of the Jackster, and they should go see the Jackster live in Texas, April 21st and April 28th.
Wow, look at that.
How exciting is that? Live in Texas? Your home state?
Your home state?
You'll be sitting, if you come to the Dallas show,
you're gonna be sitting next to my dad.
Wow.
That rules.
John Johnson.
Wow. Real name.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Okay.
Not only do I have plugs, I also have presents.
Wow.
I brought you both something.
And I brought it in a...
Wes diagnostics urine sample bag.
In a urine sample bag.
Wow, how about that?
Because I had this...
Ooh, I think I have an idea of what it is!
Gummy got real interested.
I had this in my...
I keep all bags, you never know when you're going to need them,
and I was going to do a cute little gift bag, but then I saw this and I said,
this is great.
24 hour urine sample.
Okay, ready?
So I did a collab with this Houston based artisanal brand
called Source of a Talapothecary.
And I did a line of products called
the Kooky Southern Ant collection.
I wore urine deodorant.
Yes, this was before I had my own child in my belly.
So this is my Kooky Southern Ant Ass Oil.
Wow. Wow.
And I brought this for you based on you
and Tony's conversation at the end of your episode
a few weeks back.
And this is the Kooky Southern Diozine Natural Deodorant.
Whoa.
For Weiger. I love it.
I've been using the Diozine Natural Deodorant
from Source Fatale for years because Jackie introduced me to, and I've never gone back. That's right
So if Emma wants to steal it at the end of the show
This it's a great. It's a great like gym bag item
Yeah, it might be a little
like you know
It's lovely. Yeah, it makes a really good room spray, too
Yeah, what a great sense if you if you like, um spray the toilet right water, you know kind of like a poopery now
This isn't for inside your ass. I just needed to clarify
Yeah
The bottle's empty
It's oil
Yeah, yeah
Open it, put some on
Can I put it on? Yeah
Oh, this isn't piss at all, what the fuck?
Where do you put, like, but where do you put ass oil?
It's body oil.
Oh, it's body oil.
We were just being funny.
We were just being funny.
Because I always talk about-
You don't moisturize your ass.
I always talk about oiling up your ass.
God, is that okay?
Yeah, yeah, oiling up your ass is self-care.
You mean like the exterior, like your cheeks?
Yeah, yeah, I just think your ass deserves a little love.
Yeah, sure, wow, sure. You lotion in your legs, you just think your ass deserves a little love. Yeah, sure, why not?
You lotion in your legs, you lotion in your arms,
you oil up your ass.
Yeah, why not?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ooh, nice.
That dry skin.
Ooh. Ooh, what do we think?
Let's swap products, let me try this with that ass oil.
Come on, give me the ass oil.
Give me the ass oil, I've heard this before.
These legs are looking a little dry.
Okay, let me try it out.
Are they really?
No, they actually don't.
They look great.
I am very conscious of my skin, so.
Yeah, no, they look great.
I'll put a little bit on my thigh right here.
There we go.
It smells lovely.
Ooh, that feels great.
It smells lovely in here.
It does.
Yeah, I can smell from here.
What a scent, I love this.
I don't remember, I know Frankincense is one of the notes
and I don't remember the rest.
Kind of almost has a patchouli.
Oh, a grapefruit.
I know there's a grapefruit note, but yeah.
This guy's the, he's the Daniel Plainview of ass oil.
I drink your ass oil.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Because in the movie it says I drink your oil, I guess.
Yeah. I'm an ass oil man. Because in the movie it says I drink your oil, I guess.
I'm an ass oil man.
You look how beautiful your arm is glistening.
It is.
Yeah, there's a nice little luminous quality on my thigh
now.
There we go.
I actually have a miniature dosing deodorant in my bag.
Wow.
Look at that. Look at that.
Wow.
Ooh, that smells nice.
That's nice.
Yeah.
You're welcome.
Thank you, Jack.
Thank you.
That's so kind.
But I do have some plugs.
Please, please play away.
Jackie's plug corner.
That's the note on my phone.
OK, first up, if you do live in Dallas,
please go visit my sister's brew pub, Vector Brewing
in Lake Highlands. We got to go. Vector Brewing? You have to go's brew pub, Vector Brewing in Lake Highlands.
We gotta go.
Vector Brewing? You have to go, Vector.
Vector Brewing, okay.
Can we go for the podcast? Incredible, yes.
They would love that.
Incredible beer.
They win the best of Dallas award.
Like they're great.
So please go eat at my sister's brew pub.
That rules.
I also recently discovered the Too Good to Go app.
Do y'all know about this?
No. No.
There's this app called Too Good to Go.. Do y'all know about this? No. There's this app called Too Good to Go.
And what it is is restaurants that have leftover food
at the end of the day, sell it for very discounted prices.
And based on where you are, you can find places.
And me in Highland Park, there's Kitchen Mouse,
there's the Coffee Bean, there's Colorado Donuts is on there.
You can pay $4 and you get like $20 worth of food.
Wow.
So it's to eliminate food waste.
That's great.
And so this is also in the UK.
It's very big in the UK.
So if y'all have the UK listeners, check out this app.
I just recently found it and it's a good way to get
like cheap food slash food waste.
So you don't have a financial interest in this.
I have no, no.
I just found it and I thought it would be fun
to shout it out.
Big wreck.
So now my shows, How to Get a Second Husband,
April 21st, it's at YAMM Dallas Lake Highlands,
which is next door to my sister's brew pub.
And when you buy a ticket,
you get a free beer at her brew pub.
How about that?
And then April 28th is at Fallout Theater
in downtown Austin.
If you go to my Instagram at Jackie Michelle Johnson,
click the Viode link and all the tickets are there.
And then I wanna say shout out to my Patreon honeys,
patreon.com slash Jackie Johnson.
Some of them are huge Doughboy listeners.
Oh yeah.
And I also wanna say that every time I'm in public
and I see one of my honeys,
those are the Nashville listeners in the wild
and they're with their partner,
the partner always goes, I love you on Doughboys.
Always.
Always.
So like the male partners. So like shout out to the crossover Nashville Doughboyz. Always. So like, the male partners.
So like shout out to the crossover and attribute
Doughboy listeners.
And my Patreon honies.
And if anyone wants to come to my Patreon
I basically just talk shit there.
And it's so fun.
So, yeah come hang out.
Come do a Q&A.
You know what, if I do y'all's Patreon
I should make y'all come do my Patreon.
That's true.
Yes!
Happy to do it.
We could do an AMA.
Tron for a Tron.
Yeah, we'll do it home and home, why not?
Yes!
See, Tron for a Tron?
Yeah, Tron for a Tron.
Pretty good.
Thank you.
Baby up in this bitch.
Those are all my plugs.
Wow, definitely, definitely check out all Jackie's stuff.
One of the funniest, one of the best.
Thank you so much for making time for us.
We'll have you back sooner or later.
Yeah, well, I don't know.
We'll figure out these Patreon crossovers.
Yeah.
And we'll make it all happen.
But thank you for being here.
2027, I'll see everybody back on the show.
Ooh, ooh, for Vox and I, 2027.
Yeah.
That feels so far away.
It doesn't it?
No, but that sounds like so old.
2027 just sounds.
That's insane. Yeah, years in our hey juniors administration
Well you get to the expiration date on my fucking neck to see what I'm fucking done for
Anyway that'll do it for this episode of dough boys until next time for the Spoon Man Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigar happy eating
I didn't get it in time.
Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Want to dress like the Doughboys?
Get all your favorite Doughboys merch
at doughboys.kinshipgoods.com.
Sources for the intro are in the episode description.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.