Doughboys - Munch Madness: Chomp-Out Round 2 with Michael Jonathan Smith
Episode Date: March 21, 2024Michael Jonathan Smith (@iammichaeljonathan, Twisted Metal) joins the 'boys to talk Twisted Metal and New Orleans eats before tackling the second semi-soft final matchup of For Whom the Bell ...Doughs: Munch Madness 2024: The Tournament of Chompions IX: Dough Quiero Talk-O'-Bell, Chomp-Out Round Part 2.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1930 marked the first ever World Cup, a global football competition, or for fellow Yanks,
soccer competition that eclipses even the Olympics in stirring jingoistic passions. Unfortunately for decades, what should be a worldwide celebration of sport has been
disgracefully mismanaged by corrupt Euro trash cabal FIFA staining the cup with controversy.
With our similarly prestigious Dave Thomas Cup nearly derailed by its own administrative issues,
we soldier on in our quest to determine the ultimate Taco Bell menu item. Today,
a sextet of TB offerings brawl in a beefy beanie bracket
to be crowned big cheese of nacho cheese.
Will it be a taco, burrito, quesadilla, beverage,
or one of those weird but delicious things Taco Bell made up?
Either way, this rumble's giving us the rumblies.
This week on Doughboys,
the final six Goop stage winners battle
in the second semi-self final matchup
of For Whom the Bell Does, Munch Madness 2024,
the Tournament of Champions 9.
Doki Aero Talk, O Bell, Chomp Out Round, Part 2.
Ring the bell.
["Dodo Boys Theme Song"]
Double or no no one? Double or no no one?
Double or no no one?
Welcome to Doughboyz, the podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, Double Squint Gum.
The spoon man, Mike Mitchell.
Does that mean like, because for each eye I squint?
Yeah, one squint per eye.
Okay. Yeah. Or is for each eyes I squint? Yeah, one squint per eye. Okay. Yeah.
Or is it like twice the squint?
I think both work, but I'm guessing it's because of two eyes.
I mean, double the squint.
But unfortunately for any of the women he's ever met,
not double the pleasure or double the fun.
Hey, double the fun.
I'll take you to AMC and then home.
Cheers from one of your'll take you to AMC and then home.
Cheers from one of your 10 women lesseners. Shout out to Emma and Amelia, the two stars of the pod, Ali and North Carolina
roastedbirdfuck.com. Ali just throwing haymakers up top. You
know that that's just real. Yeah. Yeah. That's why it hurts.
Why somebody call Glart- Was this the good-
You're gonna take it?
Was this the good joke you promised?
No.
Okay, all right, great.
Somebody call Clark Gables.
I said Clark Gable.
Somebody call Clark Gables.
It's windy as hell out there today, Wags.
It is a little windy.
What are you looking for?
I thought I lost my wallet.
Okay. Somebody call Clark Gable. Uh-huh. It's windy as hell out there today, Wags. It is a little windy. What are you looking for? I thought I lost my wallet. Okay.
Somebody called Clark Gable.
Uh-huh.
It's windy.
It's gone with the wind.
Someone call Bill Paxton, it's windy as hell out there.
It does look like a scene straight out of a certain film,
Wags, that we've talked about before.
Now a sequel coming out.
That's right, a sequel's coming out.
They appended an S to it.
You say squeakle?
Squeakle?
I mean, it is a squeakle, but I said sequel.
A sequel, Twisters, is coming out.
With the hunk from Top Gun.
Yeah.
Glenn, why can't I remember his name?
Close.
Are there two Glenn closes?
May I jump in?
Please.
Powell?
Glenn Powell, of course.
I was gonna say Glenn Howerton,
I was like, I know it's not Glenn Howerton,
Glenn Howerton is a different person,
but I could not think of the,
I knew it was an owl sound, Glenn Powell, there we go.
Are you excited about Twisters?
I like Glenn Powell, by the way, he's great.
Yeah, he's good.
He's good.
Do you like Twisters?
Are you excited about it?
I expressed skepticism when we did our Twister double,
but I think Twisters is a possibility it could work.
I'm keeping an open mind.
I'd love for it to work.
I got, I'm not even gonna talk about Dune II.
I didn't even think it was that bad,
so I'm just not gonna even talk about it.
I'm just not even gonna talk about it.
Let's not address it, we don't need to get into it.
Before this podcast started, you said,
I bit my babysitter once, it's the last thing you said.
I did say that.
And I think that we have to hear
a little bit more about that. I think I have heard this. I maybe said this on the pod before, I can't
remember. I mean, I probably would have remembered if I had. I think I was called the testify for
this, I believe. It was last week. He used to babysit me, Chum. My babysitter, he tried to bite me earlier.
I'm a baby sitter. My baby sitter, he tried to bite me earlier.
Natalie calls a sitter when she goes to work for you.
He's in there playing video games.
He'll come out to eat some Taco Bell.
I mean, it is childish as we talk about.
Sure, yeah.
Your life is very childish.
Yes.
As is mine.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is yours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yours, some would argue, more so. Why? Because I have a cat that I like to pet? Why is mine. Yeah, as is yours. Yeah, yours. I somewhat argue more so
Why because I have a cat that I like to pet. Why is mine more childish? I
Sleep times I'm saying that just a dead crawl in here. Yeah a number of factors. I
Bit my babysitter when I was a child
And I like she was leaving and I didn't want her to leave So I I said, no, and I bit her arm, and I got in...
Good way to keep him around.
I got an enormous amount of trouble.
But in hindsight, it was just like, oh, well,
I was just like in love with her,
and I didn't know how to express it, you know?
And that's probably what was going on.
That's why when you and Natalie were wed,
you change it till you may now bite the...
You bit Natalie on the arm.
She wore a falconer's glove, just in case.
Mitch, I should give a reminder to everyone
that the finale of Munch Madness 2024 will be live streamed
this coming Tuesday, March 26th,
from the dynasty typewriter in LA.
In-person tickets are sold out.
This show will not be on YouTube,
so if you want to see the video,
the only option is to buy it on Pay Per Chew,
so get your live streaming tickets at birdfuck.com. This show will not be on YouTube. So if you wanna see the video, the only option is to buy it on pay per chew.
So get your live stream tickets at birdfuck.com.
And for anyone who listens to the free feed,
the audio will still be in the main feed.
So audio only will be in the main feed for free,
as always, as with every main feed episode.
But if you wanna see the video,
birdfuck.com for live stream tickets.
I told you that I had a joke beforehand.
You did.
Here we go. All did? Ha ha ha.
Here we go.
All right, here we go.
Well, I'm glad it wasn't what happened earlier,
because I was worried you mangled it.
But you're going to get a clean delivery.
Here, it's the Bayou guy, by the way.
OK, great.
Now, when a levee breaks in the Bayou,
you're having a bad time.
But when a levee breaks on the set of Schitt's Creek,
you're having a good time. All laugh.
Very good. All laugh.
One of the levies.
One of the levies are breaking.
Dan or Eugene Levy, if they break.
That's a fun take.
You're having a good time.
Everyone's having a good time.
And then you reset quickly, and you
don't delay your day too much, but you have a little bit of fun.
I'm so nervous. I'm fired
Shit my character knows about shit's Creek. I'm calling I'm calling my lampers. We need to get both levies. That's right
This is a very specific joke. Trust me, it's gonna crush.
And then I'm gonna be editing like,
this cost $100,000.
We have to cut this.
I won't cost our show any more money.
I'm very excited about our guest here at Likes.
I'm gonna be catering, sorry, keep going.
He got through the second table.
Catering at season one was very good.
It was very good. I've heard this, I wanna get into it.
But you got a drop to play.
Yeah, Emma, let's hit him with a drop.
It's munch time, bitch.
Hahahaha!
Barito.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
Doritos Taco Supreme.
Double stack taco. Crunchy Taco Supreme. Crunchy Supreme Tacos. DORITOS TACO SUPREME DOUBLE STACK TACO CRUNCHY TACO SUPREME
CRUNCHY SUPREME TACOS
PEPSI
POTATO TACO
DOOP
Sorry we looked at the hog, it's all we've been thinking about
So send us your pictures along with your left tit
Sorry my friend is funny
Oh boy, the left tit
A guy did tweet us a boy, the left tit.
A guy did tweet us a picture of his left tit. Oh, that's nice.
Yeah.
I've watched the videos of you guys listening to the drops
and nothing quite prepares you to listen,
look in three different directions.
No one makes eye contact.
It's like, just let it happen.
Yeah.
It's a shameful thing, yes.
Right. It has like just let it happen. Yeah. It's a shameful thing, yes. Right.
It has like intervention vibes.
Yeah.
It's horrible, but you know what?
Not a funny drop.
That was a good one.
Good drop, let's call it a drop.
Who's that from?
Hey DK, sending a new drop inspired by the beginning
of the second ep of the Munch Madness.
Hope you all like it.
E-D-D-A-R-R-D 88 from Discord.
Eddard.
Eddard88.
Yeah.
Thanks, Eddard.
Thanks, Eddard.
Good job. Good job.
Dropsacordfuck.com.
Shout out real quick to Anya,
who got us a new orange table
and new curtains in the studio.
What do you think of the orange table?
Very orange.
Yeah.
Two orange, it's two orange.
It's just two orange, we gotta get rid of it. It's pretty orange. Yeah. But I- Too orange, it's too orange. It's just too orange, we gotta get rid of it.
It's pretty orange.
I mean, this is maybe what's going through his head,
which is-
No, it's pretty orange.
It's a good table.
I wonder how much Anya hates you.
There's now curtains in here.
We have curtains in here, yes.
We have windows that are behind me that are,
you know, they're an eyedraw for you,
but they're also an eyedraw for me,
because if like someone, everyone's looking at something,
I'll look over my shoulder at whatever it is.
And this is right by the entrance,
so there's a lot of foot traffic.
So having the curtains that we can shut things down
if needed, it's a great option.
So thank you, Danya.
I came in and I said, it's curtains for you, Nick.
You got scared.
I said, in the room.
We've got curtains in the rooms.
Yeah, then they looked over and it's like,
man, what a relief. Yeah.
You thought that I was being like a 1930s guy.
Yeah, I thought you were being a regular Glark Cable.
Yeah.
I was like, kill you.
Glark Cable.
I feel like it would have, I mean,
his career worked out pretty good.
So I don't know about improvements
it would have brought if he was Glark cable.
He sounds like a character for like an AT&T cable.
Like Super Bowl commercial.
You need fast wireless.
Frankly, darling, my Wi-Fi, what does he, he doesn't do frankly.
Or does he?
Frankly, my damn, I don't give dial up.
That's why he's the writer man.
No, it's not.
I think we can all agree that's not why.
That's how we got the job.
I have all this written ahead of time.
Very, very excited to have our guest.
We've been trying to have on for a while.
This is long overdue.
Hollywood intervened.
And so unfortunately, we had to make this previously scheduled.
Yeah, those pesky unions.
We weren't able to make happen back when the show was
initially airing, was initially launching,
but we're thrilled to have him now.
The creator and showrunner of Twisted Metal,
starring Owen Mike Mitchell.
Season one, streaming on Peacock, Michael Jonathan Smith.
MJ is here, hi MJ.
Hey, how are you?
This is a long time coming, I mean,
we probably talked about this two years ago.
When did we film?
Two years ago almost?
Yeah, two years ago.
That's wild.
I know.
You told me you wanted me on.
I was like, oh, that sounds great.
I run to the union.
We got a strike.
This can't happen.
I just can't deal with this right now.
Too much pressure.
Well, no pressure at all, because the show is bad.
Wiggs was with me.
Wiggs gave me his room when I did my callback.
Your hotel, my hotel room.
Yeah, yeah, you were in there.
Yeah.
Helped turn in some lines.
Had to hide a few used Kleenexes to catch my drift.
I was wondering why you were shooting it in one corner
of the hotel room.
I had gotten myself into a corner of a room
and I just walked up the wall, kind of.
I don't know if you noticed that.
I was like, this guy may not be stupid.
He's definitely Spider-Man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Turning red the whole time.
Yeah.
No, you were great.
Yeah, it was very kind of him to, well,
it was very kind of him to, to, to.
Volunteer my Jack Shack.
Like, come, Laird.
By the way, we were joking.
Your coon room.
Yeah.
No.
No.
No.
No.
We were talking about how there are,
can we even say who it is over there?
Yes, our studio has.
Maybe not.
Yeah.
There is something.
The studio was rented out to a non-headgum show. There's two functional studios. Maybe it was rented out to a non-Headgum show.
There are two functional recording studios
at the Headgum headquarters now in LA.
One of them is currently being used
for a branded campaign.
Yes.
It's sophisticated.
Right.
Very much the anti-dough boys.
Yes.
And I'm just saying, they're going
to be hearing echoes of us talking about our cable
and calm the whole time.
I feel bad.
Yeah.
And no laughter.
Whoa, what's over the other office?
Awake?
Really intense discussion over there.
This was serious.
But we're getting more laughs on this side.
Anyways, it's going to be a good ep. It it's gonna be a good ep.
It's gonna be a great ep.
It's gonna be awesome.
Can we talk about Twisted Metal a little bit?
Yeah.
Because we didn't get the opportunity to.
I really, really enjoyed the show.
Thank you.
I watched all of it.
We all here watched it and really loved it.
Of course, love our guy Mitch.
But it's also just like a really funny adaptation
of the property.
I'm curious like-
You know what's sad is that we were gonna do a We were gonna do a Twisted Metal get played as well.
Oh, really? Oh, cool.
That's right. We're gonna try to figure that out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We couldn't quite get the schedule out.
We could still do that.
We could still do that.
Could still happen.
Hey, there's another season coming.
Just, you know...
We'll make it happen.
But I'm curious, like, can we step back to, like, what...
Because you've been interested in Twisted Metal.
Can I go back to that for a second? I pass.
Cause you've been interested in Twisted Metal. Can I go back to that for a second?
I pass.
I know you've been a fan of Twisted Metal,
the franchise for a long time.
Like what got you into the games initially?
I mean, I was a Twisted Metal black fan.
Oh wow, okay.
So I definitely just like, I mean, it's a fucking fun game.
It was just one of those games.
It's funny.
I got, you know, I, I saved a lot of money
and I went to the GameStop and I got my PS2 and I got it for one game, Kingdom Hearts.
When I finished Kingdom Hearts,
I was like, I gotta play another game.
I just loved, I mean, look, like that game was,
I mean, you know about Sweet Tooth and Twisted Metal
for a long, long time, but I was never,
we were in Nintendo house growing up.
And I think we just like, it was one of those games
where like I rented it, loved bought it loved it and just like
Ironically did not play with my younger brother. It's just like I'm just doing this myself in my room and
Just yeah, I just fucking loved it. It was so much fun. Wow. Yeah, man. Who cares about the younger brothers. I'm sure
Nate Weigert was having a great time without you Nick. Whatever he was doing. I was being cool. Yeah, that's what my
Guitar smoking marijuana, dating.
He sounds cool as hell.
He is cool.
Is there a scenario where I do the show with him?
Pfft.
Where Nate replaces me?
Yeah, just for an episode?
We could maybe get Nate on the show.
God, he's giving a real uncomfortable answer.
Has he ever been on?
No, we have not gotten Nate on the show yet.
I mean, like he lives in a different part of the states.
He's in San Diego.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh, I shouldn't say.
Fuck, believe it.
It's fine.
I think we've said it before.
It's fine.
We can say a general region that he lives in.
He's much cooler.
It's cool that I am.
Were you a Twisted Metal fan or no?
Did you play?
No, I mean, I played Twisted Metal Black
as one of the Twisted Metal entries I played.
But like, Jimmy just hopped up next to Mitch, very cute.
But like, as far as my franchise go,
first off, I was a, we were a Nintendo household.
I did end up buying a PlayStation One with my own money,
with my own savings for Final Fantasy VII
and Resident Evil, and then, you know,
ended up having all the PlayStation since then. But like, I've never been as into car games, you know, ended up playing, having all the PlayStation since then.
But like, I've never been as into car games.
You know what I mean?
Like I appreciate like the aesthetic of the franchise.
And I also like that it's like vehicular combat.
I think that's more interesting than just racing.
You know, just racing games aren't for me.
I know they are for some people.
I agree. I was never a big racer.
Like obviously Mario Kart was a big one in the house,
but it felt, what I loved about Swiss of Metal was
it was like a fighting game,
but also Mario Kart.
Because I loved Mario Kart, like the balloon rally.
Like, we would play that all the time.
So it was like that, but with missiles and guns.
And what I loved so much about it was just that feeling of like,
the last minute, shooting the missile,
exploring the car, driving through it, hopping up a wheel.
Like, all that stuff just felt so good and so satisfying.
And I just, I don't know, I just was obsessed with it growing up.
That was, I was a Mario Kart guy.
Yeah.
But then I did find out that I didn't like,
I don't like traditional racers.
Sure.
I'm not a, uh.
You're Beatle, you're Beatlemania.
You're.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Cruisin' USA.
Cruisin' USA.
Yeah.
Or like a Forza GranTurismo, like, you know,
like a more hardcore semi racer. And, you know, like a more hardcore simmy racer.
And I know hard, I know like Casey is like rolling his eyes
at Forza Gran Turismo, hard core sims.
Because there's even more hardcore than that.
But yeah, that's like, to me, I'm just not into
driving a car around a track, but I do understand the appeal.
And I feel like, I don't know about you,
but for me, it was like my first foray into like edgier content. Like, like Drismo Black. And I feel like, I don't know about you, but for me it was like my first foray
into like edgier content.
Like Dr. Smolle Black was definitely like felt like,
ooh, am I doing something bad playing this game?
Cause it had so much, like it literally starts with,
here's your character and here's the mental disorder
they have and here's the murder and all that stuff.
So it felt very like, not, I don't wanna say aspirational,
but it was a game that felt I was too young for,
even though I was definitely in high school.
Yeah, sure.
Yes, I had a similar scenario with Doom 64.
Sure, yeah, yeah.
I rented Doom 64 and I woke up from a nightmare
and I told my mom, and then I was like,
I'm 15 or something, it was way too old.
Oh, funny.
But Doom messed with me, Doom was a...
Those were other games where it was like,
those were very violent games at a time
when hyperviolence in gaming was not as normalized
as it is now. Like the idea, like there was,
there was an era before the ESRB,
before there were M-rated games,
where just like these were more viewed as toys.
And there would certainly be PC games
with some violence in them.
Thanks a lot, Tipper Gore.
Yeah.
Don't tell Tipper about how you can shoot a plane out
of the air in the first level of Twisted Metal Black.
Don't let her know.
Ha ha ha ha.
Tipper's still out there fucking causing havoc.
She's right behind you.
Ha ha ha ha.
Doughboy's is shut down.
Fuck.
Ha ha ha ha.
That's why we've been saying crim this whole year,
is we're afraid of Tipper.
We're afraid of Tipper.
We're afraid Tipper's gonna get us.
You don't wanna stay in the mirror three times.
She'll censor your podcast.
It's Al Gore appears.
He's like, I'll get my wife and then he gets,
oh, they're not, are they married anymore?
No, they, I think they separated a while ago.
Wow. Oops.
It would be.
He's still there though, he shows up.
It would be great for the doughboys of Tipper Gore
went after us, let's be honest. It would be good. That'd be great. he shows up. It would be great for the doughboys of Tipper Gore when After Us, let's be honest.
It would be good.
That'd be great.
Hey, no such thing as a bad publicity.
Actually, now that I think back on the show
and all our bad publicity that we've gotten,
it was always bad for the show.
Yeah, no, generally.
Generally a negative.
Let's talk about, can we talk about,
because we were talking about the catering a little bit.
Quisted Metal, you shot down in Dubai,
you shot in Orleans.
Oh yeah.
What was the...
The whole reason we started that dumb bit a couple years ago. That's right, we were down in Dubai. We shot down in Dubai. You shot in New Orleans. Oh, yeah. The whole reason we started that dumb bit
a couple years ago.
That's right.
We were down in Dubai.
We were down in Dubai.
Do you?
OK, because I remember hearing, and we talked about it
with some Twisted Metal cast members,
the catering was pretty good.
Oh, yeah, it was really good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, it was just like, I mean,
all the food in New Orleans is so fucking good.
It's just so rich and so heavy.
And the first week, I was like, we're eating like goddamn kings.
And then by the second we come, like, I was like, we're eating like goddamn kings. And then by the second week, I'm like,
I feel like I'm dying.
And even like, oh, let me just get a salad.
And the salad is doused in like blueberry dressing.
Just like the heaviest, sweetest.
It's not really like a vegetable city.
It's like a gravy city.
But the catering was awesome.
I mean, it was good.
At a certain point, I literally was just grabbing,
like making sandwiches just on the side
because it was just too good. There a certain point, I literally was just grabbing, like making sandwiches just on the side because it was just too good.
There was a time where I was down there where I was like,
hmm, how many days per week is eating bread pudding bad?
Right, yeah, because they had it like every day.
Every meal I ate bread pudding.
Were you there for the last day?
I wasn't there for the last day.
So the last day was like wild.
Last day was like a full seafood bar, crab legs.
Oh.
Oh. Interesting.
He's raging.
It was wild.
I mean, that was the day where it was like, let's go now.
They had like steak, and it was great.
They fed us well.
It was fun.
The last day, Michelle Obama was in charge of my catering.
Oh, boy.
Aw.
It was carrot sticks.
Yeah, some steamed asparagus.
Steamed asparagus.
I was fucking pissed, Weiss. Yeah, some steamed asparagus. Steamed asparagus.
I was fucking pissed, Weiss.
Oh, broccoli soup.
These first ladies are driving me nuts.
I hate these first ladies.
This is a good news dance for you, anti-first lady.
First ladies, they...
Not certainly not Dr. Jill Biden.
You must love Dr. Jill.
She drives me insane-wise.
Okay, well what about Melania?
You gotta feel pretty good about Melania.
I hate Melania.
Oh, Mitch.
What about Michelle Obama?
And Michelle Obama, you obviously have an issue with her.
She drives me nuts.
I'd love to hear one thing that Jill Biden did
that made you angry.
What's Joe Biden?
That's what I mean, I don't know.
Pro-education maybe generally?
Aw, come on.
That sucks.
Bullshit.
Melania was all right.
People really liked, I mean, like they were like,
I think people were attracted to Melania, right?
I mean, this was like the right wing guys.
She was a model, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hmm.
I mean, look, they're all, I like all the first ladies.
Now I'm nervous that I said something wrong.
I like all the first ladies.
I even like Tipper Gore, she's not a first lady.
She was a second lady.
Yeah.
I know that.
Just trying to think of like what, who,
now you said you like all first ladies.
I'm just trying to think of a historically problematic first lady that you get in trouble
for saying that you liked.
Was Martha Washington like an asshole or something?
Yeah, she's probably a piece of shit.
Abigail Adams was cool.
My sister won the Abigail Adams award.
Hey, congratulations to Courtney.
This is also... This was another thing I was thinking of back home.
Samoa Joe, who plays Sweet Tooth on the show.
That's right.
He was in Boston yesterday, and I texted him and I was like,
make sure you go to the Regina on Thatcher.
I was like, if you got time!
And he gave a thumbs up to it, and I was like, if you got time exclamation point, and he gave a thumbs up to it.
And I was like, oh, he was just like wrestling
in front of everyone at the garden.
And then this little nerd is being like, get some pizza.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
I watched the match.
He stopped mid match to text you back.
I guess in a way, this is your fault now
that this guy has this nerd guy who is like, make
sure you eat some pizza Regina and he's in front of 30,000 people.
He doesn't give a shit what I'm saying.
Sitting in an ice bath after the show recovering.
Yeah, I'll get some pizza, bitch.
I'm sure he loves it.
He loves you.
Yeah, he must.
I was trying to get him to go to Regina.
I don't think he made it.
They all love Kowloon.
All the wrestlers like Kowloon.
Did you go to Kowloon or no?
I can't remember if we went to Kowloon.
It's a great Chinese food restaurant.
No, we didn't.
Emma knows it.
I know it, yeah, but I don't think we went on tour.
Like Mai Tais and stuff like that.
There's like a bunch of wrestlers on there.
It's on there.
I had a little Mai Tai.
It's fun.
You're doing the head wiggle,
but you're not doing the voice.
I don't wanna get into the voice.
Okay.
So that's just a little trick
for people watching the video feed.
That's all it gets.
But yeah, he's in Boston.
I wish I could show him Regina.
And you have had Regina.
I have multiple times, it's great.
I feel like I text you every time,
because my parents live in Boston now.
And I felt very dorky in the same way,
where I'm like, did you get a large cheese?
That's all I wanna get.
I wanna get the right order.
I wanna do it right.
It's good.
It's great, it's good.
It's good.
Samoa Joe, I don't wanna start beefs or anything,
but you're a fucking idiot if you wanna go.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. Just Emma is getting a text message three hours from now. Can you edit out that Samoa Joe thing?
Well, I've said it before.
Oh, you're not supposed to text back that you're on silent.
Also, like a little kid, I come back and I'm like, I beat up Samoa Joe.
We're not eating the pizza. I beat him up. I kicked his ass. I'm not afraid, you can keep that in all day long.
I do love little kids just lying.
That's a really fun thing that kids get to do.
At a certain point, you're not supposed to do that anymore.
But it was a fun, it is a funny-
You lied for a whole year about your voice being different.
That is true, yeah.
I just had a friend, I just talked to my friend
who has a kid who lied about getting glasses,
who'd went through the entire process
of like getting their eyes checked and all that.
And nine months later was like,
I lied about all that, I don't need glasses.
So that means that the, is it number one or number two?
One.
Number one and number two.
Two. And then they actually send you like the, Number one and number two, one. Number one and number two, two.
And then they actually send you like,
then now they have the test that actually tells you
how right it was and they were just like,
it's inconclusive.
And yet they still went through the process
of getting the glasses.
You lied about glasses for nine months.
That's why I was told.
Were they wearing fake glasses?
No, they were wearing real glasses.
Real glasses.
With real prescription that was not their prescription.
They can see completely fine.
That's so crazy.
That's so fucked up.
Yeah.
I wonder how bad they made their own vision by doing that.
I mean, she was telling me that her daughter
was just like constantly raising the glasses
and that was what she was like,
I wonder if something's wrong with her eyes.
Or she doesn't believe anything I say.
Yeah, yeah.
That's very much a glasses move of like, hmm.
Hmm.
That's what the, when I went in, I need glasses.
I haven't got them yet.
That's right.
But I need, I got a prescription one.
I'm going to get some glasses.
I went and I picked out my top three pair,
and my sister said those all suck.
And so I'm going back to Warby Parker I'm going to go to.
Wow.
Courtney was backstage winning the Abigail Adams Award.
Fuck. I tell my brothers glasses suck's glasses suck bothering me about this make sure you get Regina
It was Courtney which three glasses and then 25 minutes later congratulations
Let's let's talk about Mexican food a little bit because because we're going to talk about Taco Bell.
Where do you stand on Mexican food in terms of your fandom?
I love Mexican food.
What are some of your favorites?
I mean, look, I live in Eagle Rock, so I love Cacao Mexicatessen.
I love... Where are some other Mexican places that I love?
Oh, I love Mexican food.
Fuck, name three.
No, no.
You can even just talk more generally about dishes or what are your go-to orders for proteins.
I'm always... I'm a big al pastor fan. Oh, yeah
I was at Leo's tacos that those with a little slice of pineapple on top
Oh, yeah, little tacos love al pastor in order. I like and it's it's appropriate for today's episode. I like
I forgot the fucking name of it the the melted cheese on the plate
the queso fundito.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sure. Queso fundito, man.
Sure, mole?
Mole was my first. Mole is great, mm-hmm.
I try to go to El Serenada, which was a place
I used to get Mexican food for the Simpsons,
but I was on the West Side and it was too late.
But Eagle Rock has a lot of great restaurants.
Yeah.
I feel like that's the hot spot for restaurants now.
I mean, I don't know about that.
It's not not. I mean, it's it's hip.
There is some cool stuff opening now and like Highland Park feels more.
Yeah.
Nobody. Eagle Rock is where people who live in Silver Lake go to die.
It's like the tar pits where you you have a kid and you're like,
all right, time to mosey on the Eagle Rock.
It's basically kind of the same. And I know to Eagle Rock. We're rolling on our days.
It's basically kind of the same in a way.
No, it's cool.
There is some cool food there.
I mean, Oinkster's great.
I love Oinkster.
Not Mexican food, but I love Oinkster.
No, they have a lot of good food out there.
I dig it.
Oinkster's kind of like a plussed up fast food.
Yeah.
Very simple way of putting it in.
I never go to like the Red Tablecloth Mexican food
out here like I should
because there's a lot of great restaurants.
Casa Vega in the Valley.
Sure, some of those old school places,
but also there's a lot of like,
just like great like Oaxacan restaurants.
Yeah.
And speaking of moles,
and that's the sort of thing of just like,
you know, I'm going in like, oh yeah, mole is like,
there are many kinds of mole.
Yeah, yeah.
Look at this, okay, all right.
I grew up on the East Coast,
and it was very much like, there's one kind of mole,
and it's this kind of chocolatey dish.
Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. And out here it's cold. And it was very much like, there's one kind of mole, and it's this kind of chocolatey dish.
And out here, it's so much different.
And it's close to Hershey's.
Yeah.
It's not good.
Well, I mean, I grew up in Connecticut,
so it was very much like, we're just
going to break apart some kisses.
Over and over.
Whatever chocolate we have in the back.
Yeah, basically.
I said this when I was younger, Mexican food
felt very foreign.
I mean, it was kind of my first experience.
I was talking with someone today about Taco Bell.
I won't say who it was, but you'll find out why.
But we were talking about how cinnamon twists
used to come with the meals.
Do you remember that?
I talked about it, it was like a value meal.
An accompaniment.
Yeah, I kinda remember that.
And I used to make cinnamon twists where like,
whoa, these are weird, and now whatever,
it's my second favorite food.
I'm just saying like, I'm saying it's the most
normal food in the world, but what is going on here?
It's just like you're talking about Mexican food
and you're fixated on cinnamon twists.
Oh yeah, that authentic south of the border delicacy,
the cinnamon twist.
Well, that's just even showing you
the Taco Bell thing.
Sure, yeah.
Like the old country.
I don't know a lot, all right?
What do you want from me?
But that's such an East Coast thing,
because that's what I felt like too.
Yes, it's sushi the first time I was like,
this is insane.
Like it is, it was so many chain restaurants
and so many, it was like mostly Italian.
Like there was not, there was maybe one Mexican place
we went to every so often.
And then coming out here, that was when I got more Mexican
and Korean and sushi and Chinese, like good Chinese food.
Yeah.
I don't even know if I had Korean food till I came to LA possibly, which is crazy.
Yeah.
I mean, I, you know, I grew up in Southern California, but, but even, uh, you know,
like, like Korean food was not like a thing that's, that's necessarily all over
LA County, it still was like in kind of a, you know, LA proper.
So, I mean, that's the sort
of thing that, yeah, I did not have a ton of growing up. Things like Mexican food were much
more omnipresent, but also like, this is a thing that just like going from the 80s, you know,
growing up the 80s and 90s to now, like where there's like just been a huge cultural shift
where we talked about this before, where Mexican food is now like kind of like this national cuisine.
It's just everywhere, but that didn't used to be the case.
And to younger people today, I'm sure that seems bizarre.
Yeah, yeah.
That's what I was trying to say.
They used to be concentrating some regions, yeah.
You said it much better,
but that's what I was trying to say.
No, we're saying the same thing.
Yeah. Yeah.
I also, I want to point out that you have
the NBA version of the Kinship Goods shirt on.
That's right.
Kinship Goods Appalachian region, North America,
a lovely shirt from our merchandise partners, Kinship goods, Appalachian region, North America, a lovely shirt from our, our
merchandise partners, kinship goods.
So did you get that specific?
Did you have, you, you had to order that.
Yeah, I ordered it.
Yeah.
So you got the kinship's good shirt.
Yeah.
Pro kinship goods.
I mean, me too.
It just is funny.
You have an MBA.
We got a problem with our, with our.
I love kinship goods.
Our merch manufacturer.
Also you had a spill on it earlier.
I did spill. Yeah. Spilled on your fucking self.
I did. I spilled a cup of water all down my shirt.
Yeah. You're sure it looks comfy.
It is very comfy. It's great. It's high quality.
You're a spilly bitch. Let's move on.
My my action boy's hat is also from kinship goods.
Very cool. There you go.
We love kinship. We love Kinship Goods.
We love Kinship Goods.
Yes.
Well, next year, I want to talk more about your food.
What, are you mad at me?
I'm glad we went on that tangent.
I thought you roasted my shirt.
I just say.
From the people, the very nice people.
I love Kinship Goods.
I'm just saying you got the NBA version of the shirt again.
I did, yes. I like it, I like it got the NBA version of the shirt again. I like it
I like it. It's fun to point out. Maybe I wear a headgum hat in the air. You should I will you have one
That's true. Get it out
I wore it to a Lakers game with a mirror and you told me it was like wearing a Netflix hat to dinner with Ted
Sarandos
I'm not sure you give me. I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me.
I'm not sure you give me. Look, whatever shirt you give me.
Dough protest too much.
Whatever shirt you give me, I'm going to wear it.
The Twisted Metal.
I should wear my Twisted Metal shirt today.
The Twisted Metal shirt would look great.
It would look great on you.
Damn it.
We should talk more Bayou food.
Yeah, please.
Because it was, the food was very heavy.
Incredible.
It was great.
And it was very heavy. And aside from the catering, you're also just in, obviously, one of the great food cities in the world. Oh my heavy. Incredible. It was great, and it was very heavy.
And aside from the catering,
you're also just in obviously one of the great food cities
in the world.
Oh my God, yeah.
The place I was staying was above Willa Jean.
Wow.
Which is, if anyone doesn't know what that is,
it's like incredible, like it's more breakfast-y food,
but they do an incredible fried chicken,
and that was very bad for me,
where I'd be like, I'm just gonna go downstairs
and get some fucking fried chicken.
Just ordered it up every weekend.
I gained like 35 pounds that production.
It was nasty, but it was so worth it.
Yeah.
I got heavier and heavier during the filming of the show,
which I warned you that we would have to maybe
write it into the script.
Which is actually everything I've done so far.
That's why in episode nine you're like,
and that's why I got stung by those bees.
LAUGHS
There's a big bee, if you haven't watched it,
there's a big bee storyline.
Big bee, there's a bee story.
LAUGHS
But I was, I remember like trying,
like being there and trying to like,
get just like a delivery salad,
and it was almost impossible.
Impossible.
It would just always feel like a play,
like if you went to like,
if Howland Reyes had a salad or something,
you know what I mean?
It just like was never.
And also it's like,
listen, I'm all for eating healthy.
When you're in a city like that and you're like,
what's the point?
Like I want to eat something good
and there's so much good food there, I mean, God.
Honestly, like a Taco Bell Power Bowl would be good.
Like as far as like a healthy, you know what I mean?
I get what you're saying, yes.
Just to have something that's like, hey, this has some,
ostensibly has some dietary fiber, some nutrients,
you know, versus everything else, the starches
and proteins I've been eating.
Have you been down there, Nick?
I have, yeah.
I was down there for what?
I was down in the bayou.
We went down there for a wedding together.
Oh, right.
So cool.
Such a good city.
We went into the Carousel Bar. Oh, great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So cool. It's such a good city. We went into the carousel bar.
I think you got motion sickness.
Slow this thing down.
Uh, I, it was just, you would, cause you
would be doing, you know, you go, you, I'd
go in and I do a scene and, uh, you know, I
would, uh, do the scene and it would be, it
would be, I feel really great about the scene.
Yeah.
And then you get off.
This is all just me trying to say
that I was doing a good job, which is not easy.
You were, you were doing a great job.
I come off, I'm like, was that okay?
That's easy, that's what happens.
And then they'd be like...
You finish your line, you puke and do a...
I was like, I'm gonna do okay!
And then they'd be like, you want like frog filet?
And you're like, I got, you know, like it's, it was,
it's, you know, they're by, they're swamp folk down there,
but they have some great food. Yeah, we love the swamp folk.
We love the swamp folk.
You had a great time down there.
And I know you've been down there to shoot things a few times,
but it's great that you had an extended stay
and had a lovely time.
Yeah, it was great.
Yeah.
You know, Spoon Man, I'm always looking
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That's cute though. You know, your mom must love that picture frame because you can share photos and keep her updated on your life
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Well, I give her gift cards to, you know,
Taco Bell McDonald's.
Right, yes.
Then she knows, you know,
she'll just mail those back to you.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm like, oh, thanks, ma.
Yeah.
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We gotta get into the tournament because we got a lot to cover. Before we do that, I do wanna check in with you real quick,
MJ, about Taco Bell specifically.
Are you a, A, are you a Taco Bell fan?
And B, do you have any sort of regular Taco Bell item?
If you're not a Taco Bell fan, this will be messy.
No, I love Taco Bell, so it's funny.
I remember going to, and this isn't gonna affect
anything about my feeling about the items today,
but I remember when the Gordita Crunch came out affect anything about my feeling about the items today,
but I remember when the gordita crunch came out,
my dad was like, we should go,
we should check out this thing.
And he like never eats fast food.
So we drove very far,
because it wasn't at Taco Bell near where I lived,
drove very far to try the gordita crunch.
So I have a very, very soft spot for that taco specifically.
That's good dad stuff.
Very good dad stuff.
He was great about that kind of stuff.
We were visiting family down in Florida
and he'd be like, I remember us asking,
what's with Popeye's chicken?
Is that like KFC?
He's like, let's find out.
And we just bought a ton of KFC and a ton of Popeyes
and just did a taste test with my whole family.
That's rules.
It was so much fun.
But anyway, talk about like,
I actually fell off Taco Bell for a long time
and came back to it actually because of you.
Because when The Tomorrow War came out,
we wanted to watch it.
Some friends wanted to watch it to support you
and to support the movie,
because it was during the pandemic.
And our friends Eli Selzer and Melissa Selzer,
they came over and we got a huge Taco Bell order.
And we ate Taco Bell and watched Tomorrow War
and I was like, fuck, this is like the first time you do heroin.
You're just like, uh-oh, this is part of my rotation now.
And now there's Taco Bell very close to me.
So I do Taco Bell a lot.
My order is definitely a Gordita Crunch,
Doritos Locos Taco, love that.
And I've been kind of switching it up a little bit,
doing a little Chalupa coming into.
Couple people nodding over there. It's good, it's really good.
And I gotta be honest, the new, what is it?
Chicken?
Crispinata?
Crispinata, yeah.
It's fucking good.
Really nice texture to it.
I did like the crispinata quite a bit.
It's weird that it's like, I think you mentioned this,
it's like kinda deserty in a weird way.
It is, yes.
The crust of it is like kinda cinnamony almost.
I don't know, it's weird. By the way, my dad would, what if it's like, the crust of it is like kind of cinnamony almost? I don't know. It's weird.
By the way, my dad would do that,
but not with like, he'd be like,
that new like, sable playboy just came up,
you want to take a ride?
And we'd all grab it.
That was like, those were the type of trips
we took together.
That's nice.
Father-son autofocus.
Yeah.
Jesus Christ.
Father-son autofocus? That's too far, sorry.
I've established a line.
We weren't jacking off together.
Okay.
Separate rooms, but just eye contact.
Doors open.
And then the high five at the end.
That is an interesting thing to think of
if you've ever, you know, like in the universe,
if you've ever nutted at the same time as your dad.
Like just as it's been a cosmic accident.
It's happened.
Yeah, it's happened.
Yeah, you think it has happened?
To everyone.
You think it's happened?
Not to everyone, but if you take the entire
global population as a whole,
it's probably happened at some point.
There's fathers and sons, I'm sure,
who have nutted in the same room, of course.
Yeah, naturally, yeah.
How many people do you think are nutting right now?
Listening to this episode?
That's a goose egg, my friend.
Some guys probably, he probably is like, shut up.
I'm trying to.
Does it count as nutting if it's just mist?
That a lot of people...
Yeah, yeah.
So...
I'm just, I'm sure that at some time,
where, you know, your dad is like,
oh, have you been doing the same thing?
You know?
I mean, like, I think in the abstract,
it has happened just by coincidence,
not because of some, like, you know,
depraved, uh, semi-legal act.
I mean, more just like that it's like,
this just has happened to two different people
at the same time. Yes.
Sure. I wonder if there is an event, you know.
Like a paradox?
Like, yeah, like, you know, the Super Bowl,
the Janet Jackson boob slip or something,
if that night, there was a lot of overlap,
you know what I mean? Like if like dads and sons-
Oh, I thought you meant if you put four generations
at four corners of the earth and they come at the same time,
the earth implodes.
I thought you meant something like that.
Oh, no, no, no.
I meant some sort of horny event.
Oh, sure.
Some sort of horny event that like-
Dad off.
Yeah, like a dad in the sun or like-
Right.
I know what I'm doing to that.
Nibblegate happens and they had to,
one goes to the upstairs, one goes to the downstairs bathroom and it just sort of like times out. It's possible, I know what I'm doing. Nibblegate happens and they had to one one goes the upstairs one goes the downstairs bathroom and it just
sort of like times out it's possible. Your mom's calling oh I can't go in either of these
bathrooms. Going up and down the stairs. Right right. Yeah she's trying to get off too.
Or mom's. What room does she go in? I thought we said we wouldn't talk about
season two spoilers. All right before we get into the tournament action, let's see a recap of the tournament
so far from our ad-chad Killian in the name of Killian Walsh.
The hell?
Afternoon doughboys, or as they say in Mexico, buenas tardes tantos.
This past Tuesday on the doughboys Double, which chronologically happened before this episode,
a field of juggernauts entered the chomp-out round. Bean burrito, chalupa supreme, Mexican pizza,
and spicy potato soft taco. What a murderer's row! So naturally, Mitch and guest Mike Hanford
both voted for Baja Blast Freeze. Yes, Baja Blast Freeze is now one of the two finalists
against whatever wins today. That signature Taco Bell menu item that Mitch and
Hanford both picked over everything else, Baja Blast Freeze. And Weiger is not mad
about it regardless of what you might have read online. On a personal note, I want to say what an
honor it's been to recap Munch Madness all Munch long, especially because
you've been watching and reacting to my
videos live in the room each week, which I
know you'll also do with this one.
Actually, I do have to ask you both, what's
your favorite Munch Madness memory?
Mine is when Mitch described his spread
asshole as looking like ET the extraterrestrial.
Can't wait to hear what you both say.
Thanks and I'll see you at the finale.
De nuevo a usted, MJ y los doboys both say. Thanks, and I'll see you at the finale. De nuevo a usted, MJ, y los doboys.
Wow, thanks, Killian.
Wow, thanks, Killian.
Oh, that was great.
I can't, it's too weird to not talk about.
What are you talking, what's too weird to not talk about?
Look, maybe there were some things that weren't finished and we had to like add some stuff in wild lines.
You were across from me
and you looked like Night of the Living Dummy
and you were laughing.
You were laughing at something.
Yeah.
It was horrifying.
Well, I was laughing at the ad, Chad Killian
and his great recap of the turn of action so far.
It was a great recap, it was.
Yes, yes, no, I'm just being weird.
That thing that we watched in the room and that it was really reacting to. of the tournament action so far. It wasn't great recap. It was. Yes, yes. No, I'm just being weird.
That thing that we watched in the room that it was really reacting to.
Nothing happened out of order.
Emma, can we please just show a clip of him doing the laughs, please, in this just interjected
here, please.
Wait, pito.
Pito.
Okay, no.
I just couldn't delete the whole episode.
This is going great.
This tournament sucks.
This tournament actually-
It's taco hell.
Mitch, you're right. This tournament does suck.
That's why we should have called the tournament taco hell.
Fucking taco hell.
Honestly, Emma, you're joking, but you're not wrong.
We should have called it taco hell because things have gone very awry so far.
So much so-
I've lost my mojo. Like, I've said it before.
Like, awesome powers. It's gone.
Should it be dojo?
Oh, god damn it.
I guess dojo is already a thing.
Yeah, it's a word.
I'm just trying to think of like a...
like a doughboy's pun.
Instead of, I lost my mojo?
I lost my dojo?
Ah, fine.
I lost my munch-jo?
I've lost my munch Joe. Ah, fine. I lost my munch Joe? I've lost my munch Joe.
It's okay.
Rolls off the tongue.
I lost my cup of Joe.
Oh, okay.
I lost my munch Joe.
There you go.
AC, wow.
I've lost my munch Joe.
Wait a minute, that sucks too.
I got tricked.
The tournament is fucking insane.
The tournament is a debacle.
And as a result, it's been a mess so far.
And the biggest mess has been the scandal
that some are calling Taco Gate.
MJ, I'm not sure if you're fully aware of this,
but we've had a real serious issue with the way
that the group stages were set up
by Commissioner Susser.
And last week as such,
we launched an independent investigation
to figure out this Munch Madness scandal.
Here he is with the results.
Please welcome independent counsel, Matt Kowalik.
Matt, wow.
Thanks for being here, Kowalik.
Good to see you.
Good to see you.
Kowalik stepping in.
Mitch accidentally dropped his mic flag.
That's fine.
We can find that, right?
Yeah, we're kind of limited on seats here in the studio.
I'll just sit right here.
Koalik just coaxed Jemmy out of her perch
and has taken the seat for himself.
Koalik, thanks so much for being here.
Looking very professional.
Well, I am very professional.
I'm a very busy noid.
Mm, fuche. So as you all know. Take so much for being here looking very professional. Well. I am very professional. I'm a very busy Noid hmm
So as you all know
We gotta get your mic flag this drive me crazy the dogs not wearing a suit
Trump dogs, that's a good point. That's a good point. Well, God damn it.
Okay, great.
Well, I just put your ass in my boss's face.
How did that end up back there?
Well, guys, you know, I'm a very busy noid, so we should probably get down to business.
Yes, please.
So, Taco Gate nearly led to the cheesy Gordita Crunch
being excluded from the tournament.
What, you just said one of your favorites.
Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, and after a lot of extensive research
and working hand in hand with Doughboy's attorney,
Lev Ginsburg.
Of course, we love Lev.
Love Lev.
Me too.
We have come to one conclusion. This is all Evan Susser's fault. We love love. Yeah, me too. We have come to one conclusion.
This is all Evan Susser's fault.
Wow.
Suss. Yeah.
Who is currently suspended.
Yeah, he's currently suspended.
Also not that big of a surprise, really, to Susser's fault.
Yeah, no, he's I mean, he's he's very kind of as expected.
Yeah. If you if you have ranch around, he'll get it on his shirt
or the couch or something.
But still, wow.
Still wow.
Wow.
Yes.
Yeah.
And Toonsher is suspended, now apparently
confirmed as the prime suspect.
Wow.
Suspect.
Suspicious.
That's what I said.
I know.
I was hammering it home. go on with your thing. Yeah
Not a thing it's an investigation sorry sorry sorry thank you sorry sorry
You know and to ensure that an egregious dereliction of duty like this never happens again
Lev and I have come to the
anonymous
conclusion What kind of conclusion?
Anonymous!
Anonymous!
Anonymous!
No one knows Lev!
Lev wants to be anonymous.
Right, that makes sense.
Of course, what you said makes sense, of course.
I am saying it's unanimous.
Right, right.
But we believe.
Unanimous?
Unanimous?
Unanimous?
Unanimous?
Unanimous?
Unanimous, you fool.
All right, yes, yes, yes.
Unanimous.
When Mitch is giving out a
pronunciation note.
Well, uh...
It's a unanimous, you two are in agreement.
We are two are in very much
of agreement. Wow.
That going forward,
Evan Susser is permanently removed as the
commissioner of the tournament of champions. Whoa! Oh my god! Susser out? Yeah. He's been
with us. Suss out. He's been with us since day one of the tournament back in 2015. That's
nine years. That's too bad. I mean, you know, that a little too long if you ask me it seems
You know, it's been a long time substantial term. You guys were sussing things out and you
He's calling me right now. How the fuck did that happen?
Do I answer it? Yeah, good. Yeah good going
It's pretty drastic
What's going on
Hello sussers What's going on? Hello, Susser. Yeah, Qualic's here. Yeah, what's going on?
We're recording the same seat as me.
We're recording an episode right now, so.
Okay, is that part of it? I got a crazy voicemail from him.
I wouldn't call it crazy.
Is this part of the show? What's happening?
What we're doing, we're just, we're doing an episode right now, so it is part of the show in the sense that you called during an episode and Mitch answered.
But yeah, Qualic's here. Okay, is that amount of submission art? What we're doing, we're just, we're doing an episode right now, so it is part of the show in the sense that you called during an episode and Mitch answered.
But yeah, Qualic's here.
He said I'm out of commission art.
Is that like, what? What's the deal?
That's true.
Yeah, you're-
What?
You're out, Susser.
What?
Yeah, you're-
Susser.
Is he mad?
Is he actually, is he mad?
Susser, that's enough. You're done. You know, maybe Adam Conover needs a new commissioner. Maybe you can ruin his
tournament of pompadours
Wait, what are you saying such what pitch I was gonna text you probably and ask you like the Young Brands pitch. Do you wanna hear the Young Brands pitch or no?
Wait, what are you saying, Suss? What pitch?
Oh, I had to tell you, you know we talked about the Young Brands All-Star game? Oh yeah.
Yeah, Young Brands All-Star game.
So I was thinking that it should be, it's like, the most Taco Bell items from the Young Brands places.
Wow.
Like KFC, Pizza Hut, so anyway.
Not as commissioner, I guess, anymore. Yeah, I think I get what you're saying. Wow
Yeah, I think I think I get what you're saying what like what's the cheesy gordita crunch of KFC, okay? Yeah, I think that's what he means although. Yeah
That would have been helpful a long time ago, Evan
All right, all right
Hey, hey, hey, hey susser before you go is he still there
Yeah, uh, hey, uh, hey, here's a fun one is a vector the crocodile gonna be in Sonic 3
He didn't care for that well, was he in a bathroom? I guess
Probably But also he didn't seem to care that much am I wrong like he seemed kind of nonchalant about this
Maybe he is ready to be done with this
Maybe he knows he did something really bad
You guys are both the whole time both of you guys were freaking me out
And I don't like you being in the same chair as me why not
freaking me out. And I don't like you being in the same chair as me.
Why not?
He was a lovely duo over here.
Two longtime friends, two former roommates.
And hey, now a great ally of the podcast.
Roommates is more accurate.
What?
Kuala, we appreciate the work you're doing.
Yeah, thank you for going through all this trouble
and for figuring this out.
I mean, that was a painful thing to have to do,
but I guess it was necessary for the podcast.
It's just business.
It's not painful or personal, just business.
I mean, that's enough.
It's a good perspective.
You guys have had, Suster's been in charge
for over eight years, which is,
his term limits should have been over a year ago.
That's a good point, yeah.
The abuse of power at this point. And I think it's time for somebody class up the joint maybe a little more razzle dazzle.
You know a little less stand van Gundy little more Jeff van Gunn finally.
Yeah well.
Alright you're the you're you know thank you later you are you volunteering for the position you saying you'd be the new commissioner? Wait, what? I just I just figured that would be the.
Best thing to do, I mean, you guys.
Wow. Wow.
Who else could do it?
All right.
Qualics commissioner, commissioner, qualic everyone.
Thank you. And which one of these is my camera?
Three. Hey everybody. I want to see you guys at the live March Madness finale streaming. I'll be there
He's new to he's new to the Commissioner chair, it's okay
Guys, I will be live at the Munch Madness streaming finale. I'll be there in person
Commissioner Kowalik in person. Of course, of course you to be there commissioners got to be at the Munch Madness finale
Yeah, actually got to be there. Well commissioner commissioner koala in person until then I'm gonna need some more money
Sure, we can I have lots of expenses you know yeah, we can we can Venmo you whatever if you want to set up an invoice
I need cash. I don't need the government involved okay
What I got I?
Have nothing I have mitch's debit card, Okay. Let's see what I got. I have nothing. I have Mitch's debit card.
That's not going to do it.
I need cash.
I only have like 800 bucks, but.
That'll do.
Anyway, I'll see everybody at the live show.
Get there early for the VIP Commissioner Experience.
Wow. Wow. Commissioner Kowalik, everyone Commissioner Experience. Wow. Whoa.
Wow.
Commissioner Kowalik, everyone.
Thanks. Thanks, buddy.
Wow.
Congratulations.
What a huge asset for the podcast.
Wow.
The VIP Commissioner Experience?
We'll find out what that means.
Wow.
That's...
I might want to get Liv on the phone for something else.
Truly seismic news here at the Doughboys Podcast. Yes. I feel honored to be here for that. Yeah. Wow. Changing of the guard.
Honored is an interesting word.
No, no, no.
Look at me.
Honored.
The live commissioner experience is he's just going to eat a block of cheese.
Do you see that Jemmy bowed down to him as the rat?
She sensed the change in status.
She sensed when the commissioner crown
descended upon the new commission.
Animals always know.
They always know before it happens.
I had cinnamon twists earlier with the new commissioner,
which I didn't realize he was the new commissioner earlier today.
I had lunch with the, I didn't know I was dining with the commissioner. Wow. Now you know, perhaps in the future, that will be a contradiction of, uh, an
ethical breach because he has to remain objective as the sort of neutral
arbiter of the, the tournament's administration.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's get into for whom the bell does much madness.
2024 the tournament of champions nine, doki or O talk.
Oh bell.
Wow.
It's time for much time bitches. It much madness 2024 the tournament of champions nine dokiro talk. Oh Bell Wow
It's time for much time bitches. It's time to eat. Why it's time to eat talk
It's not time to eat. No, we've eaten. We've eaten every item
We've eaten every item on the talk about menu
Although we're just focused on half of the group stage
Finalists at this point and going to determine which single menu item will advance but first intent
The rules as decreed by the now former commissioner of the tournament of champions, Evan Susser.
Rule number one, everyone is here.
This is a comprehensive Taco Bell tournament.
That means every single item on the menu is to be considered.
That means drinks are out of the stink, sides are on the sidelines and in the game.
Rule number two, we're spicing up the night, not the morning.
Breakfast items are excluded from the tournament.
This is a revision of rule number one
that potentially implied every item on the menu
would be considered.
Rule number three, is Pepsi okay?
Barely.
This tournament will consider drinks exclusive to Taco Bell.
Not every single soda or beverage offered.
The one exception will be Pepsi.
As Pepsi is the flagship drink of Yum! brands,
previously owned by PepsiCo,
it will be considered in the tournament.
Would be nice if the new commissioner,
Koala, could do a pass in these rules,
remove all the typos.
You wanna give Mr. Unanimous the fucking keys
to the fucking dock?
Roll number eight.
Addendum to this rule. within weeks of the tournament.
It seems Baja Blast may now be offered
in grocery stores, which complicates this rule.
Baja Blast is obviously included.
Rule number four, yum, yum, yum.
Say like, bum, bum, bum.
Speaking of yum brands.
Oh no, say like, bum, bum, bum, bum.
He didn't do an extra bum.
It was supposed to be three.
He corrected it, susser did.
So I got rid of the fourth one.
All right, all right. For my own readability.
Speaking of Yum! brands and taking to an account the tradition of combination taco bells,
there will be a Yum! brands all-star category in this tournament. That category will include
Pizza Hut, Pizza, KFC, Kit Chicken, and more. And apparently the Taco Bell items of the Pizza
Hut, KFC, and Habit menus. Do you have any opinions on Pizza Hut, KFC, and the Habit?
The Habit's better than I thought it was.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
Habit's not bad.
A recent yum acquisition.
KFC, I don't think is very good.
Falling off a lot.
Especially when you got like Popeyes now.
Yeah.
Pizza's fine.
It's all right.
It reminds me, I ate a lot growing up.
I loved the growing up, the, what is it, the stuff crust.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was a real hood.
That was an old one.
It was a good one.
You know what's funny is that
Jemmy sits in this chair all the time here, Wags.
Yeah.
And Anya was outside the window there,
and then it wasn't only until Koalik said
that she texted me, I gotta wash that chair. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You are touching Jemmy like how you touched Koala.
We lived together for a long time.
I'd rub his ass a little bit when he was nervous.
Rule number five, by any beans necessary, any meat or veggie protein is valid on any
item.
Rule number six, if it's seasonal, it's unreasonable.
This tournament will be the Taco Bell menu as constituted February 1, 2024.
Any new seasonal items that have been or will be introduced
since are not eligible.
Rule number seven, the spice is not right.
Evan Saucer's Sauce Boss Royal Rumblies match
was unsanctioned, and there are to be no tournament
ramifications based on the results.
Oh, god. How do people like this?
Guess Mitch and Weier can use any sauce
as they desire in the tournament.
Listeners, unfortunately, must abide
by the results of the match. You can only use the sauce queen, hot sauce.
So listeners, we've been tracking your posts.
Some people would threaten to use a sauce other than hot sauce.
If you do so, we're gonna shut down not the entire tournament, the entire podcast.
Podcast is done.
Podcast is done if anyone uses a sauce other than hot, so be careful out there.
And maybe we'll just announce that at the live show that we're done. We're not gonna do anything.
Could also happen.
I mean, and how are you gonna turn on the live show that we're done. We're not going to do anything. Could also happen. I mean, and how are you going to turn on the live show?
You can see him read these rules live on stage or you can stream in.
I have a cream.
See, you can hear I have a cream.
I have a cream.
A very offensive rule that Qualics should take a pass at.
You can hear him read that live.
I creamed with my dad?
For each group stage, the selection committee may but are not required to pick a sour cream I creamed with my dad? All right.
For each group stage, the selection committee may,
but are not required to pick a sour cream of the crop
winner for the funniest, plausible winner of a round.
This rule was established by Jen D'Angelo in the Royal
Rumblies match, and there's a revision of the previous rule
that there are no ramifications from that event.
Rule number nine, the Lamar Woods rule.
The winning tournament menu item will go to Austin Butler
to shake him out of character as Elvis and or Fade Ralph the Harkonnen.
And you know, I was thinking,
what if you put those two together?
Oh, fuck.
Well, you'd get Elvis Harkonnen, wouldn't you?
And he'd sound a little something like this.
Bum-da, ba-da-ba-da, bum-da, ba-da.
A little less house of treat is a little more hawking in please
All this gurney how it got fremen gunning on me a little more spice a little less sand a little crisp knife princess
Irulan come to ball your neck and box your hand, but you said a spiced me
Satisfies me, baby
Number ten he doesn't like sand
Sand okay, all right. No, it doesn't like sand. They end of the list I saw less sand okay alright. No. It doesn't like sand they like the sand okay, though, right?
Well, you didn't pay attention movie figured out the Harkin is not from Arrakis
I didn't use from off world action can I throw one yeah, please hey, sorry
Lee on Alka
That's good, Please don't bond with him over this.
Elvis Harkin is good.
That was good. Thank you. God bless you.
Rule number ten for the end of the list.
You know what's funny is that I'm sitting here being like
I'm sucking, I'm not being funny and then you're
so happy with your Elvis Harkin and
fucking impression. And you know why?
Because it's good.
Thanks Mitch. Rule number ten for the end of this list, a
twist. This year, Commissioner Kowalik is invoking the right
to use three commissioner cinnamon twists whenever he sees
fit to increase the excitement of the otherwise tired food
tournament format. Jesus Christ, I gotta slow down. All right,
we're in the Chomp Out stage. This is the this is the second
of the Chomp Out stages. The remaining six this is the second of the chomp out stages
The remaining six or I guess seven of the 13 group stage winners will now compete in one-on-one matchups
Then those three winners will complete in a triple treat match to pick the second entrance to the live finale
Which is again coming this Tuesday March 26 live stream tickets at bird fuck
Dot-com if you want to see the rules live if you want to meet the commissioner and hey that
commissioner I don't know what the fuck that was the pre VIP package whatever the fuck
that is we don't know is it just gonna be him with like red rope around like velvet
rope around him and I'm like hi we're gonna find out you can find out in person but I
don't know if that'll be on the live stream We'll see if that's possible. How about this, uh, uh, ding ding in Arrakis
instead of in the ghetto?
Yeah, I think I pitched that on a previous one.
You did do that already?
I didn't sing it, but I was like,
it could be in Arrakis instead of in the ghetto.
And you hated it.
Yeah.
It's a good bit.
It's a good bit. By the way, MJ wearing MJ wearing Jordans.
Very sharp shoes.
Great sneakers.
I appreciate that.
As an MJ, do you have a special affiliation for other MJ's?
No.
Well, that's a pretty loaded question.
Do you like Michael Jackson or do you like Michael Jordan? Hmm. Well. I know. That's a pretty loaded question. Yeah.
Do you like Michael Jackson or do you like Michael Jordan?
I want to take them all out and take their power,
like the one in Jet Li.
There must only be one MJ.
No, I love that Michael Jordan, Michael Jackson could lead.
Yeah.
I mean, I obviously like his music.
I'm a problematic man.
Yes.
That's true.
Yeah.
OK, first up.
Yeah. First up, a little. Yeah. Pfft.
First up a little-
Hate the music, love the band.
Yeah, I did that.
I was like, wow.
Never cared for his music, love the guy.
Weird politics.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
So we have three matchups here.
Well, he was just leaving.
Ha ha ha ha.
Should've closed the curtains.
Ha ha ha ha.
Close them.
Hold on, I'm trying to undo this first curtain. I'm gonna reach over my We're on you did this just for you. I know. Okay the first curtain Emma is helping us out. Thank you
Emma. First curtain has been what do you call it unveiled? Closed? There we go go is that the word closed. I think closed is the word I can't have been closed
Wow full occlusion
Total privacy in the studio freedom
You get a window still
You took away my windows? This is much less distracting over here. You had too much hope of the outside world, bitch.
We have to take that away from you.
I'll switch seats with you.
At least the curtains are dark brown.
I like it. It's an aesthetic match for the rest of the studio.
Looks like an Arrakis Sandstorm out there, Wags.
Elvis Harkin wouldn't be too happy about that.
You know, for someone who hates Dune 2 so much, you did float in here like the Baron.
I got wrapped up in some bubble. They're laying stone balloons.
That the bubble that balloon suit does look pretty nice.
The great suit.
So comfy. He looks very comfortable.
He looks very comfortable. He does.
Come on that worm. You didn't like the worm riding scene?
There's stuff that I like about it.
It's like a two and a half or a three for me
out of five, which is okay.
Three out of five is not bad.
You're keeping an open mind towards it too.
Possibly your opinion could shift on a review.
And if your opinion stays the same, that's fine.
Can we just edit you that?
You know what? I went inside again, five stars.
I love it
I love it people still think that I don't even see Jack in bug main too much anymore
They still think that I take my opinions from them. I know I'm just a weirdo
There's some stuff. I like it some stuff. I don't like I don't have to connect with you
It's that's also fine if you don't like something
that everyone else likes.
It's fine.
Everyone calm down.
I wanna see more about the, like how the worm works.
I wanna know more about the worm.
Like the inner-
The worm's shit in some way it has to, right?
Isn't the spice its shit?
Yeah, it's excretions are the, is the spice.
The spice is its shit?
Yeah.
Yeah. Huh.
Piss or shit, I mean, it might be one of those things
where it's all kind of one just waste product, but yeah.
Oh, that's fucking spoiler.
That's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's a lot of fun stuff in it.
Okay, we gotta do the tournament.
Oh, fine.
No, you're doing great.
First up, Baja Blast from the drinks group
versus Cinnamon Twists from the sides and sweets group.
Holy shit.
This is a sweetie showdown.
And for me, it's pretty lopsided.
You have a Baja Blast with you right now.
Interesting, I don't have any cinnamon twists.
But you were referencing cinnamon twists earlier.
Does that mean that I ate all my cinnamon twists
because I love them so much, or does it mean that,
what does it mean? There's gonna go.
There isn't a lot of Baja Blast here.
What is it, my second cup of Baja Blast?
Your ice is completely melted too.
Well, I went like two hours ago.
So that bad boy's pretty diluted.
It's pretty diluted, yeah, but it still tastes pretty good.
I'm sure it still tastes great.
I'm gonna tell you a little secret.
Yeah.
It's a diet Baja Blast.
But I had the regular Baja Blast earlier.
Okay. Yeah, I mean, I had the regular Baja Blast earlier. Okay.
Yeah, I mean, I guess MJ, let's start with you.
Any biases going into this matchup?
I'll be honest.
I don't drink any caffeine.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm completely off.
When did this happen?
I stopped, I was on like a six or seven
Diet Coke a day habit for a long time.
And I think, wanna say 2019,
I was starting to have stomach issues.
I was like, I think the caffeine is the problem.
So I totally jumped off and went to just like,
I'll just do tea.
And it was still happening.
So I just completely cut off around 2019, 2020.
Now, do you completely abstain or like, so zero caffeine?
Zero caffeine, no soda, coffee.
You have some for, did you drink some Baja Blast?
I did have two sips.
Wow.
And it did not send you on any sort of corn holio rampage.
I did wake up with a dead body next to me.
No, I seemed fine.
I feel great, I don't think it's related.
But I did have two sips.
I did have two sips in honor of this tournament.
Wow.
So I'm just thinking about the body count
of this tournament so far. We I'm just thinking about the body count of this tournament.
So far, we had a vegetarian guest who ate beef.
Who ate beef for the first time in their life.
For the first time in their life by accident.
And now we have a caffeine-free guest
who had caffeine for the podcast.
You know what, doughboys, we're enlightening people
every episode here.
Yeah.
That's a lot of harm.
I'm curious.
I was talking about Mitch because we were walking over to. I, so I'm curious. Yeah.
I was talking about Mitch with,
because like we were walking over to the studio
and we were talking about this.
And I was talking about, I've been having dizzy spells
and lightheadedness, spouts of lightheadedness,
and I think they might be associated with caffeine.
I'm drinking decaf coffee right now.
Okay.
I've gotten more in decaf,
but like I still been having like a morning cup of coffee
and you know, like a Coke Zero now and then.
But I'm like, I think I might need to stop that too,
because it's really messing,
it really seems to exacerbate my anxiety.
I mean, honestly, it might be a big part.
I don't know, I'm not a fucking doctor.
Yeah, sure, but.
But when I stopped drinking caffeine,
it literally was like I was coming off drugs.
Like I was shaking. Wow.
I was not feeling good.
I had a headache for like 24 hours.
Like it really was a full detox getting off caffeine.
It was the wildest feeling.
Did you used to wake up in the morning?
You know, I drink like, yeah,
I used to wake up in the morning.
I never drank coffee.
I think I had coffee once in college
and like shit my brains out.
And was like, maybe this isn't for me.
Right.
But I- That's always an interesting first time
when you shit your brain.
Like I had a similar coffee thing.
Yeah, it's your body being like,
I don't know if you, are you sure? And you're like, no, I want this. So I had a similar coffee thing. Yeah, it's your body being like, I don't know if you, are you sure?
And you're like, no, I want this.
So I would do like black tea.
I would do tea in the morning
and then transitioned into afternoon diet cokes.
But yeah, I just like,
it took a little bit of getting used to,
but yeah, I just don't do it anymore.
But you just kind of wake up naturally now.
I just wake up.
So what do you like, do you have a morning beverage?
I do water sometimes. Sometimes I'm feeling a little like, oh, I'm gonna have like a bagel in the morning. I don wake up. So what do you do? Do you have a morning beverage? I do water. Sometimes I'm feeling a little like,
oh, I'm gonna have like a bagel in the morning.
I don't really do breakfast,
but if I do breakfast, I'll do like a lime La Croix
or lime seltzer water,
but I don't drink like any sodas or anything like that.
No, I don't think you're saying you're getting dizzy.
It could be that like two times a week
you're eating half the Taco Bell.
I think we solved it. I actually, it has today was the point
where I was like eating items that I like
and I was just like, ugh, this sucks.
I mean, honestly, I did this last night
and I was texting you, I'm like,
I don't know how the hell you guys do this.
It was, I felt, it felt insane.
I didn't even eat all of it.
I was just like, this feels crazy.
Today was, it was, it was, it was hard to eat
the last, I mean, it was hard to eat every round.
But when you and I first got our incorrect orders,
you're looking right through me.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to.
It scared me.
Just trying to look at,
I'm trying to maintain eye contact, I'm sorry.
I know, it was fine.
I just, did you see how I tied or anything?
It was fine. I just, did you see how I tied or anything? It was weird, pure light shot out of your eyes.
Is it later today?
When is it?
My side has been hurting.
I'm gonna go figure out my side.
I'm gonna go, we shouldn't be doing this.
We were discussing ailments.
And then we sat down to record our fast food podcast.
We were both discussing our failing health.
The podcast.
You both look great.
I bless you, wow.
That's bullshit.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Sorry, I was talking to Nick and Jimmy.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Feeling like shit, the tournament is just a tough.
It's a tough stretch.
It's rough.
It's a tough stretch.
But we do it because we care about you, the listeners.
That's right.
And it's a really hard matchup.
But I think we should just call out our winner now-wise.
I think we should do a 3, 2, 1.
Wait, so real quick, Cinnamon Twist,
was that ever a regular part of your order?
Yeah, growing up when I would do kids meals,
the Cinnamon Twist was the thing I was most excited about.
I'll just go quick. Huh?
I want to get a little bit of context from our guest.
We can talk about it afterwards.
I thought it would be exciting to go three, two, one.
Yeah, let's do a three, two, one.
We're gonna do a three, two, one.
All right, cool.
Just trust me for once.
I trust you all the time.
Okay, that's true.
We'll count down from three.
I trust you with this tournament.
And it fucking sucks.
Now, now, you agreed it was Susser's fault.
I mean, you and Susser were like, we got it.
World Cup style.
All right, no complaints from Mitch.
As it out, I thought the World Cup was very fun.
I liked it.
There you go.
I thought it was cool.
I can't complain to my, I can't disagree with you.
You can complain, I'm just saying, I'm just saying,
you were like, it's a disaster.
And I'm listening, I'm like, this is fun, I don't know.
I'm gonna shake it up a little bit.
We got a, we got a lot of menu items to get through.
But we're gonna count down from three to one.
We're gonna say in unison, which we think should advance.
Baja Blast from the drinks group
or Cinnamon Twist from the sides and sweets group.
Here we go.
Three, two, one.
Baja Blast. Cinnamon Twist.
It's a slight Baja Blast for me.
Cinnamon Twist came closer than I thought. I think with Baja Blast is It's a slight Baja Blast for me. Cinnamon Twist came closer than I thought.
The thing with Baja Blast is it's very sweet.
And if I'm taking down a large one of those,
it's like, that's a punishing amount of sugar for me.
But I do think of it as such a signature Taco Bell menu item.
And the problem I have with Cinnamon Twist
is sometimes they can be dry guys.
Oh, 100%.
Is it more signature than the Frozen Baja Blast?
Which now I think is maybe the most signature
of the drinks.
Well, we certainly found out when we recorded
the Hanford episode, which already came out
as of this episode release.
That's right.
And so you know the answer to that.
You all know the answer to that.
We don't have to repeat it.
Yeah.
It's not like Nick got sick on Monday,
we had a reschedule, and so now it's out of order,
and the tournament's even more fucked up, no.
And that also explains why we didn't have Killian's video ready in time
That's not what happened. That's not what happened at all. It's not it's not it's not
Nick wasn't barfing his brains out on Sunday. I
Was it doesn't sound like me does it?
Who goes in here not out from here? Yeah who goes in not out?
Now that day did you put food in a different way?
I almost want cinnamon twists here.
But I went Baja Blast because I feel like it's
more of a Taco Bell.
See, did you grow up with the Baja Blasts?
No, not really.
Neither of these.
I don't find the flavor.
It's just like, honestly, caffeine aside,
I just didn't, the flavor was like battery acid to me.
It's just way too sweet and worn out.
I grew up with Baja Blast, he lived down the street.
That sucks.
We played Little League together.
You and Bebe, I get it.
I gave up on it, but I actually didn't grow up
with Baja Blast and it was a thing I tried later. Interesting.
And I do love it.
A lot of people love it.
It's very sweet.
I do think, as you found out on our Tuesday episode
with Hanford, I do think that that frozen Baja Blast
takes a little bit of the sweetness out, I think.
Sure, it cuts it a little bit.
It cuts it a little bit.
I think I like the frozen Baja Blast the most.
All right, next up.
Mm.
We have a three-way showdown.
I should maybe like the diet Baja Blast the most,
but that's already eliminated.
Beefy five-layer burrito from the Burritos group.
Oh, boy.
Cheesy roll-up from the Specialties group,
and Pintos and Cheese from the Sides and Sweets group.
This is crazy.
Yeah.
This feels like the easiest one for me.
This is really easy.
Oh, yeah, so easy.
I have a winner here, too. I do have a winner. And I mean feels like the easiest one for me. This is really- Oh yeah, so easy. I have a winner here too.
I do have a winner.
And I mean, we have to have a winner, but I-
Well, I'm a new commissioner.
You can change things up.
I can just-
There's no winners now.
Cool quality.
It's unanimous.
Uh.
I never get words right.
I can't speak half the time
and I still like making fun of him
for being a fucking idiot.
This is closer to me than I thought,
but I had a favorite going into it.
And it's also an item that I had not had
for most of my Taco Bell run until like a year or so.
Like maybe longer than a year or so,
maybe like four years, whatever.
Why don't we, let's just get to it,
especially if you think it's clear, it's cut and dry.
I certainly have a winner.
Do you have a winner in mind?
Let's just get to it.
Three, two, one.
Bifi Five Layer Burrito.
Bifi Five Layer?
Over the cheesy roll-up?
I am shocked. I love the cheesy roll-up. I am shocked. Iy five layer? Oh yeah. Over the cheesy roll up? Oh yeah.
I am shocked.
I love the cheesy roll up.
I am shocked.
I love the cheesy roll up.
And it is to me a great,
I mean, I don't know if,
actually our listeners relate to this.
I was gonna say a lot of people don't relate to this.
To car sandwiches, Wags, as we've talked about before.
Something that you get to eat in the car
on the way back to eat your meal.
I know what you mean.
Which I think people get that.
Is that disgusting in some ways?
Yes, if you're eating a McChicken on the way back
to eat a pork.
It's called an appetizer.
It's a walking appetizer.
It is a walking appetizer.
It's normal.
It's certainly not a meal.
It's a snack.
But I think it's so consistently solid.
And it's a thing I could toss into every order.
And why? When I was saying the queso fundito earlier, that is kind of their version of a lunch. But I think it's so consistently solid and it's a thing I could toss into every order.
And why?
When I was saying the queso fundito earlier,
that is kind of their version of a little queso fundito.
I will agree.
That's the one nice thing about the cheesy roll up,
is it feels like it's the perfect like,
I want one more thing, nothing too big.
I just found it like, I don't like how soft it was.
I think that's fair.
Just the texture of it wasn't doing it.
I love it, but I think the beefy five layer
is one of the top Taco Bell.
I know that you maybe don't feel the same.
I don't love the beefy five layer.
I mean, I think it's in the top half of the burritos,
but it's not a perfect favorite.
It wasn't my favorite thing of what I ate either,
but it was fine.
I will say that the, I wanna do-
You know who told me that the,
Gabris is the guy who got me on it.
Yeah. And Gabris on it. Yeah.
And Gabris loves it.
Yeah, wow.
And what he says about it, which I think is right,
is that you're just trying to get every sort of goop
into the burrito and that does have sour cream,
it has the nacho cheese, it has beans and beef,
and one other thing that I don't know what the fuck it is.
I understand it from that perspective.
I do wanna give a quick shout out to Pinto's and Cheese,
because I think this is, I'm glad it went as far as it did.
I think that this is a nice little Cinderella story
of the tournament, had a nice little run here.
I believe, and I've said this on the podcast before,
I believe this is, Pinto's and Cheese is the first menu item
I ever had from Taco Bell.
Wow.
And so I have a little bit of a nostalgic connection to it.
I had never had Taco Bell in my life.
We were a Del Taco family. I was sleeping so I have a little bit of a nostalgic connection to it. I had never had Taco Bell in my life. We were a Del Taco family.
I was sleeping over at a friend's place
when I was like eight or nine years old.
And the family was getting Taco Bell for dinner
and I didn't know what to order.
But I had ordered a quesadilla
and this was long enough ago in Taco Bell's past.
They added quesadillas fairly recently.
They didn't have quesadillas on the menu yet.
I didn't know that. So- Really? Yeah, this was like, they added quesadillas fairly recently, they didn't have quesadillas on the menu yet, I didn't know that.
So. Really?
Yeah, this was like, they added quesadillas nationally,
I think in the 2000s.
That's wild.
That's shockingly recent. That's crazy.
That's crazy to me.
When was the cheesy roll up at it?
Was that more recent?
Yeah, it was somewhere in that era.
I mean, I can find the exact chronology.
Whoa, we should try like making this one crunchy.
I don't know, I don't know, it's kind of crazy.
But I do have a lot of,
the bentos and cheese I got as a substitute
and I remember liking it
and I think they're still hitting today.
And what time did your parents come
and pick you up from the sleepover?
Like 10 p.m., did you go home?
No, I stayed the night.
Oh, you stayed the night?
Yeah, yeah, I stayed over.
I went home with one sleepover,
one sleepover I did get uncomfortable.
I think that I'm, I think that I am. I was very much, hey, I'm gonna talk to the home with one sleepover. One sleepover, I did get uncomfortable. I think that I'm, I think I did.
I was very much, hey, I'm gonna talk to the parents
at the sleepover kind of kid.
Oh my God, love talking to the parents.
That's still my move.
He's a great parent talker.
Sure.
Talked to my mom a little too much, if you ask me.
I like the pintos and beans,
but hey, the bean stops here wise.
Bean stops here.
It's done.
It was a good run. Yeah, and I'm the bean boy. So Beans, but the bean stops here, Wiggs. The bean stops here. It's done. It was a good run.
Yeah, and I'm the bean boy.
So naturally I'm pulling for it, but it didn't happen.
Sorry for your loss.
Thank you, God bless you.
There's so many, there's a lot of big guns left,
is the issue.
And so Pintos and Beans, I mean, Pintos and Cheese,
it's a tough one.
A lot of big guns left.
There's two items left, Mitch.
There's the Cheesy Gordita Crunch
and the Crunchwrap Supreme,
because we know we already cover all of this
with Mike Hanford previously.
Yes, I know.
I'm saying these, we're down to the big ones.
That's right.
And Pinto's and Cheese's is just not gonna cut it.
It's good, but it's just not gonna cut it.
Yeah, I don't think it ever actually had a path
in winning the championship.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch versus Crunchwrap Supreme.
This is the hardest choice of the whole tournament right now. The special cheese group represented by the CGC Yeah, I don't think it ever actually had a path to winning the championship. Cheesy Gordita Crunch versus Crunch Wrap Supreme.
The whole tournament right now.
The specialties group represented by the CGC
and the Crunch Wrap Supreme from the Tacos group.
Yes, that's correct.
What do you think of the Crunch Wraps?
That's backwards.
CGC is from the Tacos group.
The Crunch Wrap Supreme is from the specialties group.
That's a remnant of Taco Gate, I apologize.
You're making a correction?
No, yeah, we got to fix that.
Fix it in my outline too.
Oh, God.
Let's say it again.
It just makes me sick that some people
like the podcast for this reason.
They're watching the video like zooming in.
I can almost see what's on his fucking iPad.
And tie.
It was Weigert just reading prison school. Pad.
Cause why you're just reading prison school.
Sweet tooth with like big titties. He must've just heard sweet tooth earlier.
Cockering on that clown.
Wags this is, this to me is a huge one.
The Crunchwrap Supreme versus the Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
MJ, I'll throw it to you.
We've talked about these menu items extensively,
the bitch and I. Any thoughts on either of these?
I mean, look, the Cheesy Gordita Crunch is a classic.
It's so fucking good.
Every goddamn time, even when it's not the best,
it's still great.
Crunchwrap Supreme, new to my rotation, still good.
Very good.
Are the ingredients any different?
They're pretty similar.
I think that the Crunchwrap doesn't have,
the Crunchwrap has, uh, like a nacho cheese in it.
And the cheesy-gouda crunch has just more melted cheese
on the outside.
And then the, the cheesy-gouda crunch also has a ranch,
that spicy ranch.
Interesting.
I, the, the Crunchwrap was good. The best way I could describe it, a ranch, that spicy ranch. Interesting. I, the crunch wrap was good.
The best way I could describe it,
it tastes like a hexagon.
Yeah.
Like, I just took a bite, like, yep,
this is just what that shape would potentially taste like.
It's good, but that's good.
This maybe sounds a little Frankensteiny of me,
but I don't like the hexagon shape.
It got me mad for whatever reason.
I don't disagree. It's God's plan. I think it's fun. I think it's a fun shape. You like it? It's aagon shape. It got me mad for whatever reason. I don't think it's God's plan.
I think it's fun.
I think it's a fun shape.
It is a fun shape.
It's fun.
My issue with it, and this is also why
our, one of our last guests, Tony Ramos,
got a, she ate a crunch wrap.
Yeah.
The meat, it just, it doesn't,
it's not like a perfect layer across.
It like sinks down.
Sure.
I'm biting into it, I'm like,
I'm eating like lettuce.
You're getting some uneven pots.
Yeah, I was gonna say, when I bit in,
I took two bites of everything.
One with hot sauce, the preferred sauce,
and one without, and I found that the Crunchwrap,
I got a lot of lettuce on those bites. Which is ironic because the Crunchwrap, I got a lot of lettuce on those bites. Yeah.
Which is ironic because the Crunchwrap Supreme is stacked
and yet it felt more balanced in those bites to me.
Yes.
And not that the, I mean, the cheesy gritty Crunchwrap
also lettuce heavy.
Very lettuce heavy.
But for whatever reason, I feel like with the Crunchwrap
is then like, oh, it's like at the bottom of it
where you get kind of the flavor that you want.
Yeah.
I loved the Crunchwrap when it first came out.
And I think this is some of people's, like, top item.
The other thing about the Crunchwrap
is that it's an important item historically
among Taco Bell's catalog, because it sort of presented
a pivot point where the menu started
to be like fearing more towards experimentation
and pushing the envelope in terms of what actually could be
a Mexican fast food item.
That is the one great thing about Taco Bell
is I feel like there's always something new
and interesting and cool they're trying out.
100%.
You're always like interesting and good.
And like the chicken crispinata is another thing.
Oh, god.
It's very good.
A complete distortion of a traditional food stuff.
But this one has no resemblance to anything
that's ever been created.
You know what I'm realizing maybe why I don't like
the shape of it is because it's shaped like a stop sign.
Maybe that's why, you know, like I'm eating it
and I don't want to be told, you know.
Yeah, stop eating.
Yeah, I don't know, that could be,
maybe it's just, maybe that's what it is.
I don't know.
But I also think it's kind of unwieldy.
I don't like the, it's kind of hard to hold. Oh, I kind of like, I think it's what it is. Right. But I also think it's kind of unwieldy. I don't like that. It's kind of hard to hold.
Oh, I kind of like I think it's fun to hold.
Do you hold it horizontally?
Vertically?
What do you mean?
I hold it like this.
From the edges.
Yeah, fingers up.
You flip it up in the air.
It's a little, I don't know.
It feels very gimmicky to me in some ways.
I do like it. I feel like I'm being hard on it right now. It's a good item. But't know. It feels very gimmicky to me in some ways. I do like it.
I feel like I'm being hard on it right now.
It's a good item.
But we're trying to break down what the best is.
So it's liabilities.
It's fun to order.
Is it a pain in the ass to make?
I wonder, who cares?
I mean, I do care, but I'm saying, is that annoying?
It feels like an annoying item, but maybe not.
The cheese and Gordy and Crunch
also may be an annoying item to make.
Yeah, I don't know.
It looks like it's maybe fun to make, but I don't know.
I have a question for you.
Was this a hollywood?
I mean, none of these are fun to make if it's your job.
You just get into muscle memory, you know?
Yeah, no, it's not cool to see me and Koalik
in there ordering $45 of Taco Bell.
It sucks.
Uh, and then also, you know, the manager comes out,
chases Koalik around with a net.
Yeah, right.
Told you to stay out of the ventilation shaft.
Get out of the crawl space.
Cheese sauce, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream,
and the crunchy tostada shell,
we were talking about ingredients,
are what is in the Crunchwrap Supreme.
As for the cheesy gordita crunch,
the ingredients are similar.
They are,
they are ranch sauce, lettuce, and shredded cheese.
Are you on the website?
I'm on the website.
Here's my question to you.
Was this a hard choice?
For me, ultimately no.
Same.
I mean, I think we know where we're leaning,
so we should just say it.
So three, two, one.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
I mean, come on.
What are we doing?
I know there are Crunchwrap Supreme Partisans out there,
but I will say that I do really like
that the black bean version of it is very good,
and I like that that's just presented
as a default menu item.
But it's really easy just to slide black beans or refried beans in that CGC.
And then you just have a vegetarian version of that.
And I just think it's a better composed item.
And it's got like a better crunch to it.
Have you ever done the Doritos loaf taco?
The Doritos one is also great.
Yeah, it is good.
Yeah.
And they're going to do a Cheez-It version of this at some point.
We didn't get it. Yeah, well, if it's seasonal, it's unreasonable,
so it wouldn't have been eligible for the tournament anyway.
You don't have to say the rule again.
We know the rule.
I could go through them.
Ha ha ha ha.
Okay, so that puts the CGC as the winner here.
Yes.
So that leads us to the showdown,
Baja Blast, Beefy Five Layer, and CGC,
one of those is going to advance to the championship
and be the winner of the second Chomp Out round.
The second Chomp Out round?
That's right.
Wow.
Yeah.
I'm excited.
Look, I like Cheesey Gordy the Crunch the most.
I want it to win maybe.
Well then it's gonna win.
What do you mean it's gonna win?
It's gonna win this group
if you say you like it the most.
Yeah.
Well, that doesn't mean that you're gonna vote for it.
Our guests will vote for it.
I mean, no, I'm not gonna vote for the beefy five layer
based off of what I previously said.
Is the Baja blast bigger than the...
Who knows?
Be careful, he's right here.
It doesn't necessarily mean it's gonna win.
Who knows?
Three, two, one.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch moving on to the championship.
Wow!
Whoa, I'm upset.
Stomach.
I will say, I really thought Cheesy Roll-Up had a chance.
Because I really like the Cheesy Roll-Up.
I know you really like the Cheesy Roll-Up,
and I thought matchup dependent, it could find its way to being the winning item here, but cheesy cordita crunch,
the predicted number one seed comes away with it,
and is going on to the championship.
Well, so now Baja Blast is gone.
Baja Blast is out.
Wow.
Fuck.
That is sad to me.
Mitch, only one can win.
We're going to have to say goodbye to some favorites.
That's what's tough about these things.
It's sad.
Yeah.
Mitch, it is sad.
Every episode from here on out is gonna be really sad.
Are you guys gonna do it in memoriam?
Well, we should do it in memoriam.
That's a good idea.
We could do it in memoriam.
In cafeteria, fucking right.
I failed.
I failed.
In menu-oriam?
Well, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
In cafeteria is pretty good.
That's what I was going, that's what I was going.
That's pretty good. In cafeteria is pretty good. good. That's what I was going, that's what I was going. In Cafeterium is pretty good.
In Cafeterium.
No.
And you and I are just at the end?
At the end.
Sussers in there.
Wow, wags, cheesy Gordita Crunch.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch moving on to the championship.
What a showdown.
We'll deserve though.
It is.
It's so good.
I mean, it is, I'll say this.
I think it is one of the best items in all of fast food.
To me, it's up there.
There's a case.
And certainly if it wins the Tournament of Champions,
it will be in the Hall of Halls.
Jamie just let out a big sigh.
Yeah, she's exasperated.
She knows she has to listen to this all again tomorrow.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha ha.
Poor dog. Ha ha ha ha. Have you taken Jamie to the vet and they're like, I think up there with the Big Mac up there, I think cheesy, Gordy, the crunch is Taco Bell's signature item.
Now, I think up there with the Big Mac, up there,
I think Cheesy Gordy Da Crunch
is Taco Bell's signature item.
Now, oh wait, we just eliminated the beefy Five Layer too?
Yeah, it's gone.
Yeah, it's gone, fuck.
You not know how this works?
No, I forgot how it worked.
You've done so weird the entire time.
You've done the weird soccer.
Well, but in tournaments past.
You want Euro listeners. That's tournaments you want you want your tournaments past your listeners
That's what you want out of all this you think I'm troll. I'm asking for your listeners
Oh boys podcast is doing it all the way. Let's listen. I
bloke
That's what you want that's what you think's gonna happen if you do it the Europe
Do you think this is me trying to solicit European listeners?
Because that's not what it was.
The idea was to just have a different format for the tournament.
Also, there's a lot of global awareness,
and there's a lot of US awareness of this sort of group stage approach.
That's what happened with the NBA in-season tournament as well.
That tournament sucked.
In fact, that's the main model for that.
It was great. It was a hoot.
It was horrible.
It was a lot of fun.
Yeah, because the Lakers, they set it up so the Lakers would win it.
The Lakers did win it. The Lakers did win it.
The stakes were basically nonexistent.
And the reward is like nothing.
But it was a fun thing.
The first part of the NBA season is pretty boring anyway.
So it gave it something to shake it up.
I'll say that this podcast, this tournament is as good
as the NBA play-in tournament.
In-season tournament.
In-season tournament.
Oh, sorry.
Yeah. It sucks, is what I'm saying. They both suck. In season tournament. Oh, sorry. Yeah.
It sucks is what I'm saying.
They both suck.
I think it's been great.
I think we've been having a lot of fun.
And I think we have a very deserving.
The listeners like it.
I leave every day.
I'm like, this sucks so bad.
And people are like, that's the best one yet.
So I don't know what the fuck is going on.
I don't know what's happening.
I don't get it.
I don't know what's going on.
I'm confused, Wags. I'm confused and scared by everything what's happening. I don't get it. I don't know what's going on. I'm confused, Wags.
I'm confused and scared by everything
that's happening lately.
I mean, like in the world?
No, I don't care about that.
I mean, in the tournament.
In the tournament?
No, that doesn't matter.
We're changing things up.
And so yeah, we're gonna feel a little unsettled here,
but I think it's going pretty well.
All things considered.
I mean, it sucks.
Obviously it sucks. Are you tired today. Yeah
Yeah, what the fuck does that mean?
Yeah, I am tired. What do you want from me?
MJ like this is horrible
I'd you like a bad night's sleep. You can't really focus right now
I feel like a bad night's sleep. You can't really focus right now.
Is that what happened?
Yeah.
I mean, I don't feel great.
You can't drink your caffeine either.
Well, I'm not having a caffeine either.
I'm on decaf.
I'm doing great.
Bitch, I'm trying, OK?
I'm fucking trying.
You're doing great.
I just could tell you seem a little sleepy.
That's all.
Yeah, I'm a little sleepy.
What do you want from me?
I think it's great.
Hey, I had a bad night's sleep too, man. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The winner from Hanford's bracket. Yeah, which we, which we already know. Which you already know. And have said. And have said. You could rewind it, it's there.
It's there.
Yeah, I'll say it right now.
Baja Blast Freeze.
Right?
Mitch is right.
It's Baja Blast Freeze.
One more time, that winner.
Baja Blast Freeze.
Baja Blast Freeze. Baja Bl, ah, ah'll record stuff later.
Yes, sorry about this.
I just texted the group chat to remind us.
How very Bill and Ted of you guys.
Hey, just like a restaurant, we value your feedback.
Let's open to the feedback.
And we have a voicemail today.
Let's take a listen.
Hi, Joe boys.
This is Jackie from Miami, Florida.
I wanted to share with you a question I was asked years ago and still think about often. If
you're to wake up one morning as a little fly, which food dish would you
end your little fly life by rolling around in? A nice saucy bowl of spaghetti
would be my choice but I'm interested to hear your pick. Wow, Jackie from Miami asking, if we were a fly,
what food would we want to live our lives on or nearby?
Kafka question, right?
Yes, Kafka-esque, this query.
Yeah, this query is Kafka-esque.
Yes.
Kafka is one of my favorite writers.
I remember on set we'd have to, I don't want to tell too many set stories I remember on set we'd have to...
I don't want to tell too many set stories,
but on set we would have to come over and be like,
you're talking about Kafka too much.
It's making everyone uncomfortable.
I'd improvise about Kafka.
I mean, and I could improvise endlessly about Kafka
if I wanted to.
Yeah, that's kind of your go-to thing, you know?
People have their own bucket of references
they'll dig in on. Yours is Kafka.
And then MJ would be like, Mitch, this improv is too smart of references they'll dig in on. Yours is Kafka. And then in MJ, we're like,
Mitch, this improv is too smart.
The audience won't get it.
It's kind of going to go over our audience's heads.
So yeah, you get that a lot back on Harold Knight, too.
Yeah, Metamorphosis, Kafka's...
Right, yeah, that's the thing you're always talking about.
Which is a fascinating, ugh, it's a fascinating work.
Pfft. A man turns into a bug, fascinating.
That is the plot of that book.
Yeah, really.
Really says a lot about what it means to be alive.
There's many, there's, oh God, what can I say about it?
There is many pages to it.
Font.
There is. Lovely font size.
Page numbers.
You can judge the book by its cover. Great cover.
It is a great cover.
There's a little bug on the cover, if I remember correctly.
So if this metamorphosis happened to us...
Yeah, let's not dwell on the Kafka too much.
Because our audience is not going
to understand all the deep Kafka cuts you're
going to want to throw at them.
This is nightmarish to me to wake up as a fly.
Because then am I going to be like, I want,
are you going to be craving shit?
Does that happen?
Do you like shit?
Every part of like, okay, so...
Flies would be less nasty
if they didn't love shit so much, right?
They're just like, they love it.
They love shit.
Yeah, they do love shit.
And that's the thing of just like,
I wouldn't wanna be the kind of fly
who like lives on a pile of shit
and is just always hover, buzzing around a pile of shit
and they're tasting the shit all the time.
Like that's disgusting.
Do you ever notice about the headgum studios
that there's just tons of flies hovering over it?
Only when we are in here to record?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Like a rain cloud?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
It's like a local event where they're like,
oh, it's like the sky is dark here in Silver Lake.
Yeah.
Right, that's why they have the saying, a Mitch and shit.
It's 30 degrees colder because we block them.
Look, we suck like shit flies attract us.
Yeah, people got it.
They never spoon feed it to them.
The whole thing with turning into a different thing,
like your body is morphing into something else.
And does your essence remain that of a person or not
is like a core part of it.
Now, it's something that I'm gonna do.
You know, Mitch loves Kafka.
I love Baldur's Gate III.
Seromorphosis, which is you're turning from a human being,
a mind flayer is taking over your body
and taking over your consciousness
and you're completely changing physical form.
It also changes your mental form,
and you start having, like, a different personality
and different desires.
And if the same thing happens...
We've all been there.
If the same thing happens if you are,
when you turn from a humanoid form
into, like, a tentacled, you know, sort of turn from a human, a humanoid form into like a tentacled,
you know, sort of a Lovecraftian horror,
then if that also happens when you turn from a man
into a fly,
then I think you're not gonna mind loving shit, right?
Because you're just gonna have a fly's desires.
But if you are a human,
then that is going to be truly horrific.
And I think the approach for this has to be like,
okay, what would we as a human being want to,
uh, if we were forced to be subjected to this horror,
what would we want to spend our lives consuming?
I think for me, I'd say, like, chili cheese fries.
Oh, hell yeah. That's great.
Now, here's a question.
Just to go in between the two,
is there an Animorphs level where you turn into the fly,
are you still your consciousness,
but the flyness of you is trying to pull that humanity away
and it is that battle between the humanity
and the flyness or animleness essence.
That's really interesting. That's a great question.
That's really interesting. It's kind of scaring me.
That's kind of a... Oh, it's horrifying.
And that's kind of the Jeff Goldblum, you know,
fly of the Cronenberg fly. You're just like,
oh, cheesy fries, but the shit, it calls.
Yeah, yeah.
You shouldn't have ordered a log of shit.
You know, like, with your chili cheese fries,
you should have just gotten the chili cheese fries to not,
don't order the shit so you get tempted by it,
you know what I mean?
Well, if Tommy's been putting it on the menu,
I wouldn't order it.
Definitely.
Yeah.
Also, you're thinking of like, the fly fly is ordering a pile of shit?
What's happening?
What's the scenario?
Here's, can I do my impression of you as a fly?
Hey, Buzzy.
That's good.
Pretty good, Mitch.
Pretty good.
Mitch, did you get a really good night's sleep last night?
Are you really well rested?
I didn't mean that in the way that you thought I meant it.
Is that like the opposite of the MJ flu game?
MJ's flu game when he was on the Wizards was an old man.
I could just tell you had one of those stairs where you were staring above my head.
Sorry.
I mean, it's fine.
You're yelling at me for looking through you, so I was trying to find a different focus
point.
I was just trying to wake you up.
That's all.
I was just trying to get-
I'm awake.
All right.
I'm here.
I agree.
We're here.
My-
Wake everybody up soon.
Nick, we're sorry.
Nick, please.
I have a wife and kid.
Please. Nick, we're sorry! Nick, please! I have a wife and kid! Please!
I leave the studio, I hear two gunshots!
Biker shot himself twice!
I was gonna say, Jemmy leaves, gun in mouth.
Uh.
Chili cheese fries, that's a good answer.
Yeah, I think because I'm trying to think of like,
it would be kind of a gross dish,
but also something that I like, oh, I can just sort of,
again, pig in shit, I can kind of like, enjoy, embody, understand what it's like to be this sort of, again, pig and shit. I can kind of like enjoy, embody,
understand what it's like to be this sort of creature,
but also like what's the human equivalent of that.
What I like about that answer too
is that you are fly sized,
so you are getting different flavors.
You can get a little bit of cheese,
a little chili, a little fry,
like you can change it up every day.
And Jackie's answer, spaghetti,
saucy bowl of spaghetti, I it is the same sort of thing.
It would be fun to, yeah.
I'd say a burrito actually.
Burrito's good.
I mean, burrito just because one,
lots of different flavors.
It's almost like a little, like a multi,
I mean, you know, you have multiple floors in your house,
but it's like, kind of like,
hey, you got different levels to live in.
You're like, ooh, I'm gonna have a game room at the bottom,
got a living room in the middle.
Got where I'm gonna sleep at the top.
As a fly though, would you be worried,
I guess someone's taking a bite of it
and then you're getting in there.
I think that's the idea.
It's either a bisected burrito
or it's got like a little bit,
like a little divot you can get in there
and then you can kind of burrow yourself
and have a little bit of privacy.
Yeah, that's great.
No windows either, love that.
There you go.
Yeah.
I'm gonna leave her home with no window.
Maybe rent out this room.
Did you get the curtain so that you can,
so you can jack it between Doughboys and get played?
Is that what it is? A little downtime in the studio.
You're in the jack corner
because there's nowhere near a Doughboy.
I found the perfect place.
Don't put me in the jack corner for God's sake.
You chose to sit there.
I was thinking about like the factor of like,
it would be fun to like do something
at like a French restaurant to have like a chef be like,
the fly, like, you know, like that stinking fly,
you know what I mean?
Like a guy, like it's funny to like get a human mad at you if you'reinking fly. You know what I mean? Like a guy, like, it's funny to like get a human mad at you
if you're the fly, you know what I mean?
That's gonna happen naturally.
Yeah. But yeah.
This is what Bart thought when he,
like, oh, I guess he thought he was gonna,
he was gonna be like a superhero.
Yeah, he thought he was gonna burn the school down.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, right, no one suspects, right, right, this.
No, that's a different, that's the butterfly.
No one expects the butterfly.
Him being the fly boy is a different thing.
That is a superhero fantasy.
See, like I wanna say my favorite food pizza,
but I think that's a bad choice.
I don't think it's a bad choice.
Why is that a bad choice?
You know, toppings you can land on,
you can land on cheese, you can land on marinara.
You can dip in the crust.
Nice and warm.
This is fucking good.
I think ultimately my answer is dog shit.
I think that, I think that the fly, I know that we talked about dog shit
on the last episode, but I think the fly part of the,
you know how I am, I think the fly part
would win out pretty quickly.
Now why dog shit over human shit?
That's a good question.
Well you're more likely to find dog shit outside.
Not that you won't find human shit outside,
but there's just maybe less of it.
Ah, got it, got it.
Good call, Mike.
Also too much of a reminder of your past life.
Oh, it makes me think of home.
No.
No.
No.
It's gonna remind me of later today
because I ate all the Taco Bell
before we recorded the episode,
which was a horrible move.
It doesn't get you really revved up for an episode.
No, it was a pro move on MJ's part to eat it last night.
I did the same thing I ate earlier this week.
I can't load up on Taco Bell right before record.
I think the answer is maybe I'd be hanging around
the Taco Bell trash, Wags.
Wow.
Sour cream.
Right.
It's got a lot of different options in there.
I think maybe my answer is Taco Bell. Wow. You mean like just the Taco Bell dumpster?
Yeah.
Like it's just like a bunch of discarded items.
I mean, when you're a fly, it's not really that gross, right?
Yeah, and you might also get like a bonanza of like, oh, this bag of shredded cheese has
passed its sell-by date.
We just got to toss the whole thing in.
Yeah.
And then you go like, oh my God.
Yeah.
Isn't that old?
Yeah.
And being in the dumpster, it'd then you go like, oh my god. Yeah. Isn't that old? Yeah.
And being in the dumpster, it'd be nice to see Koalik again.
He's the new commissioner.
I should be nice to him.
You can see the new commissioner.
If you want to see Koalik, see him at the live stream.
Check that out, birdfuck.com.
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If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants, You and a mouse.
If you have a question or comment about the world of chain restaurants,
you can email us at feedbag at birdfuck.com
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And for whom the bell does, Munch Madness 2024, The Tournament of Champions 9, Doe
Kiero Talk O Bell continues Tuesday on the Doughboyz Double and all Munch Long.
Subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys.
Michael Jonathan Smith, MJ, everyone should check out Twisted Metal on Peacock.
It's such a funny show.
Congratulations.
Congratulations on season two.
Looking forward to it.
Thank you so much. Yeah, thank you. Please watch the show.
Mitch is amazing in it. So much fun to work with him and meet him.
Please.
On the show and it's awesome. I feel like I did a very bad job talking about the
show earlier, but it's so much fun. It was a blast to make.
There's a lot of action comedy. Mitch is great in it.
Please watch it.
I'm very excited about season two. A lot of good, there's a, there's some good
fun food stuff in it. There's white tiger steaks. Oh yeah season two. A lot of good, there's a, there's some good fun food stuff in it.
There's white tiger steaks.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of good food stuff.
And I was marinating in teriyaki.
That's right.
Yeah.
Buy some cannibals.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which was fun.
It was disgustingly gross.
You were a good sport.
You were wearing tighty whiteys in teriyaki and, uh, it was a lot of fun to shoot.
It was actual teriyaki sauce.
I don't know if it was actual... I think it was like,
with viscous-y water. I don't think it was actual teriyaki.
But it was nasty in there.
We were talking about, because they were like, if it is...
If we did it with teriyaki, you would be covered in flak.
Yeah, it was nasty. And that place was also...
We were in a... Quonset hut?
So it was like, there's no real air conditioning in there normally,
so it got very hot very quickly and a lot of people in there
Being in the teriyaki was actually kind of nice for what for you know
I mean it was like it was a little bit cooler in there
Like it is you know like it's a it's a it's a great production and then when they got we got out of the teriyaki trucks
They're like all right if you stand in the field there will hose you down
Listen we're a top-notch NOLA production.
We spare no expense.
Get the hose.
Get the hose from the Mitch hose.
Yeah, that was weird that every day after I was done,
they just hosed me down.
Yeah.
I don't know what the deal was.
You were like, I'm fully dressed.
I don't know why we also told you to spread it.
Pfft.
It was a blast down there.
Great food, citywags.
The first time I went there was with you.
That's right.
Lovely time.
We went to Giacomo's, which is a restaurant that
bands around in Medellin.
Yeah, I went with my lovely wife, Natalie.
So I'm rolling the dice when you go somewhere
a band fucking.
It's true, but that place was great.
He does know New Orleans.
I've told this story in the podcast before,
but it was me, Natalie, and you. And then at a certain point, Natalie stepped out and
you leaned over to me and said, you were going to push me into a grave and take Natalie home
as Mrs. Mitchell?
I couldn't find a wide enough gray.
Why is that?
Remember she left the day when you remember who joined us?
The Gator.
We can't do this now.
In the last minute, we can't do the Gator bit.
But a Gator did join us.
A Gator did join.
That is true.
That did happen.
That was your transportation to and from set.
What's on the gator also.
Well, two gators.
A lot of our listeners have watched Twisted Metal
and encouraged people to do that.
It's a very funny, very entertaining show
with a lot of heart.
Also, I want to say, MJ is the man and is hilarious.
Great dude.
He makes the show as good as it is.
It was so much fun.
And you and the writing staff, but it was funny
because I remember when the first teaser came out
and then angry video game nerds were like dissecting it
and stuff like that.
And I was like, you guys, it's so good and this guy is so good
at what he does and it's a testament to this guy
that it's as good as it is.
One of the, I mean, it was weird,
because, I mean, you know, like, the strike came out
when the show came out, so it made it very tough, obviously.
But it really warmed my heart to see
when the trailers coming out and the show was coming out,
people being like, Mitch, I'm here for Spoon Man.
Like that, with getting that Spoon Man bump,
probably why we got a second season.
Ha ha ha.
Peacock nose of the Spoon Man bump.
I don't think, my bump was very small.
The show was fantastic.
Yeah, your bump is small.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
Ha ha ha.
But people, like if you don't have Peacock,
sign up for Peacock and you can binge all the twisted metal.
It's all out there.
Season two's gonna rule, we're writing it right now.
Peacock is right.
It's gonna be good for you.
Ha ha ha.
Hee hee hee hee hee hee.
That'll do it for this episode of dough boys, I guess.
Until next time for the Spoon Bad Mike Mitchell I'm Nick Weiger. Happy eatin. See you next time. The Live Finale! Hahaha! What?
Also Nick, today's Sour Cream of the Crop winner, what should it be?
A disease.
I agree.
Sources for the intro are in the episode description.
Hey buddy, the Live Finale of Munch Madness 2024, The Turn of Champions 9, Do Kiro Taco Bell will be live streamed
from Dynasty Typewriter right here in Los Angeles
Tuesday, March 26th at 7.30 p.m. Pacific
with guests Mano Agapian, John Gabris, and Betsy Sodaro.
Wow, live stream from the Dynasty Typewriter wags?
That's right, and you know what?
In-version tickets are sold out,
but you can watch the live stream.
This video will not be on YouTube,
so the only way to see this is by buying the livestream
tickets at Birdfuck.com.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.