Doughboys - Munch Madness Finale with Mano Agapion, Jon Gabrus, and Betsy Sodaro (LIVE)
Episode Date: March 28, 2024It’s the finale of For Whom the Bell Doughs: Munch Madness 2024: The Tournament of Chompions IX: Dough Quiero Talk-O’-Bell! Mano Agapion (@manoagapion), Jon Gabrus (@gabrus), and Betsy So...daro (@betsysodaro) join forces with the 'boys to determine which Taco Bell item will reign supreme and take home the Dave Thomas Cup! Plus, a clash of Commissioners. Recorded live at Dynasty Typewriter in Los Angeles on March 26, 2024.Special thanks to The Voices of Christmas, Lisa, Alison, Kirk, and Bret!Wanna watch the livestream? Tickets are available via birdfuck.com until Tuesday, April 2! Get ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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This is a HeadGum Podcast. Hark, Taco Bell, eat Taco Bell, craving all day, waistline will pay. Madness is here, sucks every year,
stomach in pain, doughboys complain, ding a dong ding dong, that is their song,
munch, crack, sip, ring, mad, sour, drink, bah, bah, blast, freeze, pintos and cheese, stench everywhere, filling me up. You'll kill me, Marito, cheesy roll of beef, Thomas Cup.
Hot, spicy sauce, and both their boss, too, isn't bad.
Madness is clear.
Munchy, munchy, munchy, munchy madness.
Munchy, munchy, munchy, munchy madness.
Mitch wearing plaid, tiger is mad.
Burger and spoon, bear squid on dude.
Hot Taco Bell, eat Taco Bell. Craving all day, bear swing on dude. Heart tuckle bell, eat tuckle bell.
Craving all day, waistline will pay.
Madness is here, socks every year.
Stomach in pain, no boys complain.
Ding dong ding dong, badness there so.
Crunch wraps in wing, add sour cream.
Ha ha blast breeze, pins fell in cheese.
Stench everywhere, thin in the air.
Don't feel the pink burrito, Cheesy roll up Dave Thomas cup,
Hot sauce, hot lamb,
How's that boss?
Sauce isn't here, madness is clear,
Munchy, munchy, munchy, munchy madness,
Munchy, munchy, munchy, munchy madness,
Doughboy's is old, cat games should fold,
Both hosts are sad,
Podcast is back! Thank you. One month ago, the entire Taco Bell menu was cleaved into six groups, or goops, by category.
The field was winnowed further in two chomp out rounds, and now stands as a triforce of
finalists which face off tonight in a winner-takes-all triple-treat match.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch,
the one seed juggernaut that squashed its competition
like an owl bear leaping off a ledge.
Baja Blast Freeze,
the baffling result of a birthday boys' blockade
that saw it ice out favorites like Bean Burrito,
Chalupa Supreme, Mexican Pizza,
and Spicy Potato soft taco.
And the Habit Tempura green beans.
The winner of the Depose Commissioners Brain Dead Brain Child, the Yum Brands All-Star
game.
Yup, they're in this shit too.
Obviously Cheesy Gordita Crunch is just gonna win, so what are we even doing here?
This isn't a competition, this is a coronation.
You're really gonna watch and or listen to this dog shit for the next two hours?
Come on!
Have you ever seen The Fugitive?
That's a great movie!
Go watch The Fugitive!
Regardless of the preordained outcome, we have a solemn duty to etch a new name into
the most prestigious trophy and chain restaurant podcasting, The Dave Thomas Cup.
Tonight, a champion will be crowned.
This week on Doughboys, live, moss,
the finale of For Whom the Bell Does,
Munch Madness 2024, the tournament of champions nine,
Doe, Kiero, Toc, Obell, Baja Blast Threes,
E, Cheesy Gordina Crunch, E,
The Habit Tempura Green Beans.
Ring the damn bell! Cheers and applause
Music
So is the Doughnut Wars!
Doughnut Doughnut Wars!
Cheers and applause
Cheers and applause
Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants.
I'm the bean boy, Nick Weiger, and this is the finale of Munch Madness 2024.
Wow.
We have so, so much show to get to, but before we do so,
first I need to introduce our co-host.
Please give it up for, as I find it on my iPad,
this week's roast is courtesy of Jeremiah H.
Let me introduce my co-host, the Taco Bell of the Ball. Oh. Oh.
The Meat Man, Mike Mitchell. ["Munch Time Bitches"]
Worthy, it's worthy.
It's Munch Time Bitches.
Wow, he said it. It's worthy. It's munch time, bitches. Wow, he said it.
I said it.
Wigz, today,
we cast the most important vote
you'll cast this year.
This is huge.
We're both
locked in for R.F.K. Jr., right?
100%. 100%.
By the way, P. Diddy asked if you need a ride home or just to the theater.
I've been on that plane.
I actually was talking backstage with our guests about, I don't know if anyone's seen
this Funny or Die video from 10 years ago.
I'm sure they have.
Yeah, of course you have.
I made a sketch with Diddy.
It was a Downton Abbey parody called Downton Diddy,
where we basically, we VFXed him
into a bunch of Downton Abbey clips.
And now I'm like, I'm worried about
what's gonna happen to that sketch.
What's the legacy of that great sketch I made?
They can't take it down.
They can't take it down can't take it down.
Downton Abbey did he it's perfect.
Why is I know I say this a lot. Yeah,
but
I feel a lot like Randy the Ram from the wrestler.
Yeah, which is you know, he was he basically at the end of
the movie. He's dying. He's getting off the top turnbuckle.
He's hitting his finisher and that's the final act he's going to take on her.
He's going to, yes, yes.
In the last week, I've had a CT scan.
Right.
And thought I had a heart attack in the last 36 hours, but we're doing this.
We're doing this.
That that's partly why I wanted to have a wholesome non roast roast to introduce
you.
Because it may be the last one, possibly?
Oh no!
I wasn't thinking that grimly. No, I was just more, I'm more meant like, ah, just to, to, to gas you up a little bit.
One week ago, I was going into a CT scan, getting stuck.
Jamming into it over and over again.
Wise, we gotta do a healthy month, we to do something. I'm down. I'm
down for something. We got to break it up. Yeah, no, I want to make this vow right now.
If I don't get my shit squared away, 10 year anniversary, I'm going to resign as the spoon,
man. Does that mean you'll just resign the title and you'll be a new guy or will you
leave the podcast? Yes, you can have a new guy.
You can have someone else come on the show.
No, I meant, would you...
No, we can't do the show without you, Mitch.
Why?
We can't. No, there's no doughboys without Mitch.
I didn't know you'd say something like this.
Mitch, you're the Taco Bell of the ball.
Why?
No, we can't do it without you,
but if it's endangering your health,
then we'll figure
something out.
I couldn't tell if my mic is lower from bombing.
I had the same feeling and I realized it's both.
Yep, yep, yep.
Can we, because we have a lot of show to get to, but before we go any further, how great
were the voices of Christmas?
Lisa, Allison, Kirk and Brett. How awesome was that?
Completely confusing as to why they're here.
They're like, what the fuck is this?
And then the more and more they see, they're just more confused by...
That's horrifying. When the curtain opened, they didn't know what was behind the curtain.
Yeah, I know.
And then to see our listeners...
Yeah. More of the guys we met backstage got it.
Just two hundred of those guys. There's a rule at dynasty. There's a sign that
says don't take big shits. It is true in which I don't know if they knew they
had a crowd filled with Taco Bell. I I have already I've broken the rule
already. You know this well, because I
saw that and I was like is that a blanket ban on shitting or is it
specifically big shits because if it's just big shits that's hard to enforce.
Yeah, what makes a big shit one person's big shit is not another person's big
shit. When I finished a representative from dynasty came in the bathroom with
a ruler
and he says if this me I'll flush it if it meets the size of not you're going to take it home so
while I'm here let me let me flip it over to the mill and my millimeter side
and measure that hog
it's more than a few millimeters. Wags. Should I hit them with the drop? We got our we got the we got the Taco Bell posse here in the back. You I like that I liked it run it by
them but let's let's hit him let's hit him with a little drop
wags here we go.
Why we're here on Wikes we're here on Wikes we're here on
Wikes we're here on
Wikes we're here on
The tournament much time bitch much time much time bitch it's much time bitch
Much much time bitch. It's much time. It's much time. It's much time bitch
fun to say much time bitch
well said
Wow what a drop.
Every time we play the drop, it is just a complete dead zone.
It's like we brought fucking what's his name? Is it Jared from? Why did I forget Jared's name?
Mitch, your health is a worry now.
Forgot my favorite actor's name? Dear God. Hey, Doe Squad, here's a dumb drop for a bad podcast. Crunch Rap University for Life. Love the pod slash hate myself Derek.
Wow. At oh so nerdy S-E-W nerdy on Instagram.
Love that.
Great job.
Great drop.
Just had me thinking all the great times I had with Jared and Diddy in the hot tub.
Someone told us backstage that he's fled the country with some news that we were hearing.
Yeah.
Oh well, he's not going to come out.
No surprise Diddy tonight.
But we did have a surprise diddy up top. That's right, Wigs.
Yes, we parody the Christmas song for Munchfadness.
Mitch, we got to get our guests out here. They're much funnier than us. It's true.
Everyone already knows that.
Y'all ready for our guests?
Wow.
Who the fuck's the guy standing in the back?
What's going on in the back?
Is everything okay?
Put the lights on again.
Oh, it's a cameraman.
Okay, got it.
I was going to tell everyone to get down. We're being live streamed, why?
It's true, we're being live streamed.
It's live streamed, wow.
Alright, get him out here.
Please welcome the Taco Bell team, Mano Agapian, John Gabers and Betsy Sodaro.
Wow.
I know a girl named Lisa, she know the pizza, eats pepperoni, she gave it to a fellow friend
of hers.
Great, just what I wanted, no table to cover up my body for the whole life. Thanks
Wags. This is perfect. Do you want to switch back? No, no, no, no. It's fine. It's fine.
Oh, Jared from subway dropped off a hard drive. He said he borrowed from I think he meant sub Dom ideas. Mitch Mitch, I think you look great.
Doesn't he look great? It feels a lot like the end of the wrestler right now. Spotlight on me. It's going to
happen to us at some point. That movie had a sad ending though. Mitch, I will say you
putting the bib is a much worse look. Just, yeah, just take it to ya. It's down. It's
down. Yeah, there it is. You look great. We got Nick Thiger over here.
And Mitch is afraid to show his jeans to the crowd.
Not his G-E-N-E-S, which he definitely
should never show to anyone.
It would be if we, you know, we can do future shows here
at this great venue, the Dynasty Typewriter.
It would be nice to get a Doughboy's with table.
We can make that happen.
I want to ask everyone, ask the whole panel.
It should be able to get bigger as the show goes on.
It just gets pushed more and more towards the front row.
You guys are in the splash zone, but a poncho ain't going
to save your ass.
I want to ask what everyone's Taco Bell consumption has been
like lately, because obviously Mitch and I have been gorging
on it for the purposes of this tournament.
The three of y'all, is it an occasional indulgence?
Is it a regular meal?
What's it like these days?
Rather I fucking wish.
Especially getting ready for this show.
I've been thinking about.
Getting ready.
Getting ready.
When did you hit us up, in December? I think you hit us up in December.
And Betsy made this like a Rocky Balboa style preparation.
A training montage of just smashing down CGCs on the toilet.
On the toilet? Hey man, you keep them going, you keep them coming, man. Man, I gotta keep my steps down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I told myself I wasn't gonna eat Taco Bell until tonight,
because I knew about it,
and then I listened to the fucking stupid podcast,
and I ordered Taco Bell on Friday.
I ate everything on the fucking menu.
I got so sick from it.
And I'm like, I have to do this professionally on Tuesday.
Yes.
But I'm back, baby.
The show must go on.
This is like, this is like MJ's flu game.
This is my joke.
I'm having it.
I'm having it about twice a month, especially recently
because they're like, I'm so confused by the way
the double stacked tacos are replacing
the double decker tacos.
So they've trained me to be scared
that they're taking away my favorite thing.
Right, it's the false scarcity
and specifically the double decker taco
and I actually don't know which one is on the menu right now.
Now it's like the double stacked.
The stacked.
The stacked.
Dry, a dry guy. It's the dry guy, because it's like the double stacker. The stacker. The stacker. The dry guy.
It's the dry guy.
It's the dry guy.
Cause it's got the little tortilla chips in there.
Yeah, not enough sauce.
But wait, I do like that stacker,
which is a whole different thing.
The stacker rules.
The stacker rules.
I'm pro stacker.
I love the stacker.
I think the stacker is fine.
And that's fucking bullshit, Mano.
And you know it's bullshit.
We've had this discussion.
This is like Mitch saying he doesn't like Dune 2.
You just need a point of view
so you can fucking make content.
You fucking liars.
No, no, no, I have a reason.
It's a flawed design
because their machines are designed to griddle tortilla,
and when you start to weave the tortilla inside of it,
it's gonna get less melty in the inside.
Okay.
Boo!
Boo!
Save this shit for this American life.
This is fucking Doughboy's, but
either the stacker rocks or it looks like a dog's asshole.
One or the other.
My dog needs to go to the vet.
Yes.
Yes.
Speaking of the-
Wally had his anal gans up in our mind.
Just saying. Let us know!
Wally's your building super, right?
I had to express his anal glands.
You want your plumbing done, you gotta express
these anal glands. No, Wally, my cat
had his anal glands expressed. He's doing great.
But he was, his
anal, you know, it bulbed out,
I guess you could say. Did he go to the doctor
or did he Madonna, you know, it bulbed out, I guess you could say. Did he go to the doctor or did he Madonna, you know,
express yourself?
That's what the song is about.
Her rubbing her ass on the ground.
Oh, it stinks in here.
You don't need a doctor to do it for you.
You can squeeze your own glands.
Oh.
This is true.
I could express Wally's anal glands if I'm into it.
Into it?
You have to ask Wally.
Of course, of course.
If you're into the idea of doing it,
you can do it yourself, it's true.
What if we go into Mitch's house and we walk in with him
and Wally walks up, turns around,
puts his head down and his ass up.
You're like, what the fuck you got this cat doing, bro?
Oh, I gotta express his anal glands again.
The smallest mound in my jeans.
I put, get me a tablecloth.
Trying to hide a boner. Oh man. That was when we, when you were in high school
and it's like, Oh dude, I got a boner. I got to hide. I was like, I don't
get that problem.
Fucking rock hard all day.
I had that problem because my mom and dad wouldn't buy me jeans or khakis.
Oh, wow.
I had sweatpants up until seventh grade.
And then when I switched to an all-white school,
the kids really started roasting me.
When I was the minority, people just ignored me.
And then I showed up at this new school,
and they're like, you wear fucking sweatpants?
And I was like, mom, you have to get me jeans.
They're like, you're just going to grow out of them. And I was like, so I wore sweatpants at school, and the teacher was like, you wear fucking sweatpants? And I was like, mom, you have to get me jeans. They're like, you're just gonna grow out of them.
I was like, so I wore like sweatpants at school
and the teachers like, come up to the board and spell.
And I was like, oh my God, what, me?
I was just like, I'll fuck it, I'll take the D.
I don't know how to spell, hold me back.
There were rumors of a specific kid
having a history class standing sweatpants boner.
And I never validated it.
What do you mean you never validated it?
Well, it never got...
This has happened recently?
I watched thousands of hours of high school CCTV.
No, this was at my school and I don't know if it got, you know, how many Pinocchios it got.
If it was just like an urban legend or if-
Print the lie, dude.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, exactly.
That's the kind of thing.
Are we just tarrying this guy's reputation?
In the senior year books, you're still writing about it.
Whatever happened with that?
Did that boner thing turn out to be true?
Anyway, probably never see you again.
Bye, buddy.
Bye, Cameron Dias.
It sounds like a gossip.
You're giving me a gossip girl vibes where you're the boner.
You're the boner kid.
I'm the boner kid?
Yes.
Oh wow.
It was never valid.
It was huge.
It was huge.
It was never validated.
It wasn't true.
Nobody.
Let me tell you, if he was the boner kid,
everybody would know about it.
Okay.
I'm like, they'd also call him Ripped Jeans Kid.
Exploded Zipper Nick.
Talking about the recent Taco Bell menu changes, has anyone had the Cantina Chicken menu with
the Avocado Verde Salsa packet?
Because that's like a brand new addition.
Wikes, Wikes.
When did it come Guess what I have?
Yes, the guy who thought he had a heart attack 36 hours ago,
eight non competition,
competition.
I almost got it, but it is nothing about Taco Bell that appeals to me.
Yeah, right is on this list.
You know, let me tell you that Katina Cantina Cantina chicken
taco fucking rules covered in cheese. It's it's fantastic.
I'll give it a go. It's great. It's really good. Yeah. I like
that avocado very salsa. I got six extra packs. I sure brought
them tonight. Oh, fuck, dude. We're gonna give it to kids in
the crowd.
I sure brought them tonight. Oh, fuck, dude, we could have given them
to kids in the crowd.
Man.
They would have fucking loved that.
Fuck!
What do we have instead?
Oh, yeah, Christmas carolers.
Sorry.
They enjoyed the carolers.
We'll just get Mitch's new girlfriend a gig ASAP.
Whatever.
She has these friends she sings with. I'm not dating anyone in the chorus.
None of the carolers.
Yes!
We can tell them you were kissing everyone back there.
I'm dating all four of them, that's true.
Honestly, they were making moves.
We had time to hook up with all four of them.
In between the intro and us coming out here.
Yes, yes. The Cantina Chicken Taco, they saw it in my CT scan. It's time to hook up with all four of them. In between the intro and us coming out.
Yes, yes.
The Cantina chicken taco, they saw it in my CT scan.
They saw it going down.
I don't like this chicken taco.
My friend doesn't like it either.
That's Dr.
What is that?
What is that?
What is that? He's got Nick, Nick just got it. It's Dr. Evison in the Cantina in a new home.
Oh my God.
Cantina.
I'm glad I didn't get it.
Yeah, no.
If there's a place for that kind of bullshit, it's here.
You didn't reference the Cantina band song
that everyone would recognize. You talked about You didn't reference the Cantina band song
that everyone would recognize.
You talked about the guy who harasses Luke at the bar.
And his friend Pussy Mouth, Ponda Baba.
Yeah, and then Obi-Wan cuts his arm off with a lightsaber.
And my friend doesn't like you either.
Let's all watch A New Hope tonight and text him.
Pussy Mouth does look good, I gotta admit it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, did you know what he's talking about?
There's a guy who is kind of a pussy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Ponda Baba.
Ponda Baba.
Ponda Baba.
Would you express?
Ponda Baba.
Well, we're part of the pussy mouth posse.
Yeah.
We follow Ponda Baba around town and hook up with girls and kind of all around scumbags.
It's Ponda Baba, Dr. Everson, Leonardo DiCaprio,
Toby McGuire, and like three Scientologist rapists.
How many systems does he have the death sentence in?
Because he has that line, he's like,
I've got the death sentence in blank systems.
I can't remember the number.
It's like, well, just be careful that you'll be dead.
This little one's not worth your trouble. Why don't I buy you something? Saws his fucking arm off. Look what you fucking started man. Dude I was just saying this today to
Casey and Emma that everyone thinks I'm a lot like Mitch because we're both fat
bearded Northeastern guys but I'm also like I like to wear short shorts and I'm on the spectrum so I'm a lot
like Liger and I straight up said his Manchurian candidate phrase. Oh my god, oh my god. You totally did.
You're like Jericho Palazzo. Kebr. You realize what this means?
You're like Blade.
You're Daywalker.
All their strengths and none of their weaknesses.
The bummer is I got both of their weaknesses.
I have Mitch's dick and heart.
You can walk into a comedy writer's room and talk to them.
I got that for Mitch. You can walk into a comedy writers room and talk to them.
I got that from Mitch.
I'm like if Mitch and Nick went into the fly machine together by accident, I would like come out like, Arrrrrr!
Dune 2 was fine!
Just a little update. Pete Diddy is with P Ponda Baba. Oh wow. Of course, escaping
our galaxy. Smart. He might want to get at least six parsecs away so he can't
get extra diet. It dude. He left his kids at home. He fucking took off. Yeah,
he's like, we're going to the Bahamas and his sons are like dad, the feds are
here and he's like, I see on the ring cam later. And then he released a
statement like saying like I fled, but I'm innocent. the feds are here and he's like, I see you on the ring cam, later. And then he released a statement,
like saying like, I fled, but I'm innocent.
It's really crazy.
Yeah, it's wild.
And did you see that there's a connection
with like some like a college basketball player
who's now they think was involved in the trafficking?
Oh.
Caitlin Clark?
Better not be. I don't know.
Our dad will flip.
Jesus God. Dear God.
It's wild.
We can take that out of the live stream and post.
No.
Can we step back a second to the chicken crispinata, which was out earlier this month? Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Woo!
Yeah!
I thought the chicken crispinata ripped.
I really enjoyed this.
I liked it a lot.
Really flavorful.
I like the sauce.
I love the texture on the shell.
What a huge shift in texture.
It's so welcomed in the middle of a few gummy softies.
Right.
Like, it's pop over.
But I don't think I could have more than one Crispinata.
No.
No.
I wouldn't want that.
I could have a dozen CGCs.
But I can only have one Crispinata.
Hold on.
I call bullshit.
That's what I said to my wife on our wedding day.
You call bullshit?
You think I could have more than one Crispinata?
I think you could easily have more than one Crispinata.
OK.
I think Gabriel's saying he doesn't want more than one.
Yes.
I think one hits the spot.
One is plenty.
I love, that's a good one for like a palate cleansing bite.
Yes.
I need some texture.
I have like my gums are jammed up with burrito.
And the cheese is actually melty because it's fried.
Right, exactly.
Which sometimes T-Bell, they're not always the best
at melting their cheese.
No, that's fair
You gotta get it. Well done
But we've all had a quesadilla that was made in like nine seconds. Yeah for sure
Oh, yeah, they just like spray on the grill
Then you're just eating mayonnaise and raw cheese.
Mayonnaise!
Like the hot, like the spicy mayo.
I love that sauce is awesome.
I love it.
When Mike Kisadia comes up and it's not melted, I fold it, lift one of my tits, drop my tits
down on top of it, take a few bites of some other stuff and then it's nice and ready.
I've touched on it. It's very hot.
Yeah, it's very hot.
I feel like a fucking basketball coach.
I have this...
Do you want to come in?
Let's go boys. Come on.
My team sucks shit, of course.
Of course. You're their coach.
Yeah, I know.
I used to row crew.
Coach Mitchell, can we do something about basketball? Hold on. I'm
looking at it on my phone. Is this all coming because you feel exposed without a table?
I feel a little exposed without the table. Do you want to switch? I could sit over there.
I could sit over there. I don't care. I have crazy short shorts on from taco. Oh, wow. Oh man. I just saw a burrito poke out of your pocket.
That's not, that's not even a joke.
He's a poet.
I feel, I, cause you actually have Taco Bell shorts.
I feel shorts cucked here.
Cause I did, I went and got these to like match the old
school Taco Bell colorway.
That's what I'm trying to do.
Oh man.
Yeah.
Those are fucking cool. I believe our eyes. But that means now you have to sit in that weird chair
in the corner of the hotel and go like,
aw, his shorts, his shorts.
Oh god.
Oh those shorts.
Oh man, those shorts.
Oh those shorts.
My wife loves his shorts.
Oh those shorts.
She never reacts to my shorts like this.
Honey, tell me how you hate my shorts and love his.
Uh, we don't just spend all our time eating Taco Bell, we also watch porn.
I'm 42.
Yeah, I learned it from porn.
Well, if you texted to me from your phone, I counted as porn.
For you, it's life.
Gabor's when we were talking about getting talk about Gabor sent out a link to lemonparty.com.
That's right.
And I was surprised by now.
It's still a working website.
Still up.
It's still going.
Still up.
Mano said, oh, Mitch is pretending to be surprised that it still works.
Oh, it's crazy, it's still working.
Oh, weird.
You just type L and it's lemon,
did you mean lemon party?
And it's still just a picture?
It's just one picture, right?
I think it is, just one.
Is that all it is?
Look, look at that.
Pull it up, let's get a lawsuit.
Favorites.
It's my home screen, not favorites.
96 tabs of lemon party, what the fuck?
Good morning, Mitchell.
Would you like me to open lemonparty.com?
I...
Lemonparty.com, here we go.
Lemonparty.com.
There was a 30 Rock joke where Liz goes,
ain't no party like a lemon party,
in reference to her last name being Lemon.
And that was 15 years ago, making it, it was dated then.
I know, I feel.
I have to agree to go over this side.
Don't accept the cookies, what?
Oh no.
No, it's nice old man.
No, no, no, no, Lemonparty.org.
Oh.
Lemonparty.org.
Did you go to the wrong URL?
Good cover.
It was, I went to lemonparty.com.
And that's just porn.
Just porn, sadly.
It's just plain old porn.
Lemonparty.org, here we go. I love that it's an organization. Oh, it's still there, it's still there. It is just a point. Just porn is just a plain old porn. I'm party dot org. Here we go. I don't know if it's an organ. It's just one and my
phone has been taken over by viruses immediately
immediately.
It was there for a second. Hi, this is the CIA. Is this like Mitchell?
I want to show the audience, but it keeps going to it keeps getting
I don't know if they want to see it.
Don't hold up your phone to anyone.
Yeah.
It's just like old dudes sucking each other's dicks, right?
If I remember correctly.
It's three old men.
Yes.
One sucking the other fucking.
I think no, I think it's one just kissing.
Oh yeah, right.
One old man's really sweet and he...
Dude, getting kissed and sucked from two different old men?
Fuck, dude, makes me want a lemon.
No.
Well, Mitch was looking that up.
I have confirmed Dr. Evazan and Ponda Baba are wanted.
They have the death sentence on 12 systems.
So 12 systems.
Wow.
You had 12 out there, you were correct.
Four guys dressed as Jediis just nodded.
And now their clothes are in piles in the back.
I think those are just robes.
Oh, that's just the only thing that comes in your size.
Oh, OK.
No, we're sorry.
You're not from Tatooine.
He's sweating like there's two suns.
Fuck.
Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Gavreau's making fun of you guys, not us. That's not us. That's you guys.
We are not fat Star Wars fans up here. What all the context clues tell you.
Gavreau's swearing in Baldur's Gate 3. Oh, I was just telling these guys. fans up here, no matter what all the context clues tell you.
Gabriel Swery and Baldur's Gate 3.
Oh, I was just telling these guys.
I just fucked a drow elf.
Hell yeah.
And is this at the brothel?
Yeah, I paid 500 gold.
OK, got it, yeah.
No, I did it too.
Yeah.
And it's weird, because it just goes to black,
and they talk you through what's happening,
and it's weirdly erotic.
Yeah, it is.
I mean, it's like a great way of covering not wanting to do an extra like fuck animation because there's so many
fuck animations in the game already. Well I was telling these guys the most impressive fuck I got was I
fucked Halston the Druid. Yes hell yeah. He turned into a bear and he said oh sorry I
get like that when I get too aggressive and my response was it's okay I liked it.
Yeah because you can choose. And I'm fully nude hog out half mind flayer half wood elf
Purple hog out and I fuck a bear
I'm sure the lights are just as dark in your bedroom.
Honey, I'm home.
Panda Baba is here.
So you're full on in act three.
I'm deep into act three.
I just had to- No one gives a fuck.
Who does?
The two psychos.
Yes, I just rescued Karlaq from the jail.
I'm trying to decide what to do with Rafael the Devil
and also with the Gith Yankee versus Mind Flayer struggle.
We're all caught up.
Nick and I will continue this conversation over text
Monday through Saturday.
He takes Sundays off.
It's true.
I still leave him a few messages to come back to.
I like it.
I like that the Taco Bell text thread,
which we have, which has been very active,
I got like, there were like a hundred messages
on that Monday morning.
Yeah, it's like, what are we doing for the show?
And I'm like, Nick knows.
He'll answer on Monday.
What's everyone's item?
Then sends us each individual text.
Like what's going on here?
And I'm like, okay, man.
Wait, I had a question.
That text thread has been around for six or seven years.
Yeah.
It's been called Taco Bell, and it's the five of us,
and it's the five of us, and it has been for a long time.
That's weird that we came together in your live show.
I'm very excited about that.
Well, we've discussed Taco Bell a number of times
on High and Mighty.
Yes, that's where kind of the five sims started kicking off, yeah. I'm very excited about that. We've done, we've discussed Taco Bell a number of times on High and Mighty.
Yes, that's where kind of the five sims
started kicking off.
Yeah, and we constantly kept texting about it for years.
We didn't stop.
This was the only panel that could possibly be assembled
for a task of this gravity.
Determining the singular Taco Bell menu item.
We put our lives at risk.
We reviewed Taco Bell during the pandemic.
Do you remember?
We did!
Yeah, we did in my backyard.
Podcasts could not stop going, Wiggs.
They were essential.
We were literally balancing a Zoom H6 and a CGC
on our laps while being 10 feet away from each other.
And swarmed by bees, I believe.
Yeah.
Probably.
It was wild. Yeah, well, I believe. Yeah. Probably. It was wild.
Yeah, while Coley Culkin died.
Probably were serious for a second.
I got so scared.
Thomas John can't see without his glasses.
He needs his glasses.
Half the audience not alive when my girl came out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But the other half of the audience
been sweating Veda
Sultanfuss since the jump off.
And she just moved right on.
Anna Klomsky just moved right on for part two.
Oh yeah. She got a whole new my boy.
Yeah. Is that what? I never saw
my girl too. Is that what happened? Yeah.
She kills another kid?
Yeah. Scorpions. Yeah. It's kind of like the crush part two, it kind of solidifies that she was always
a black widow.
Oh, yes.
Let me guess, you went to rent my girl and the guy, the check was like, I don't think
so.
He looks at, he looks at a sign that's behind the counter and it's just a picture of Weiger
and he's like,
sorry, buddy, keep moving. Just more red hots, buddy.
I gotta say this. Look, it was, I, there was some controversy in the tournament. The two, there's three finalists. One is the, the Baja, the
frozen Baja blast. Baja blast freeze. Yes. The Baja blast. I left mine backstage.
I should have brought it out here.
And we can get it out to you.
I'm sure.
Skidmore.
I mean, it's it basically just tastes like an oil slick made of sugar.
So you can imagine that to me is the perfect drink in many ways.
Oh, my God.
If the University of Phoenix made it into the finals of the NCAA.
I agree. I was so mad when I saw that it was in the finals.
Yeah.
The Taco Bell thread was popping off
because we were screaming at each other.
It makes sense.
It makes sense.
Why?
Why?
No, it fucking doesn't.
Look, it wasn't, we had a non objective hampered was there hampered
was there I it wasn't just my fault hampered did it too.
Yeah. You were the deciding vote. It was three as a panel of three. Wait wait wait. Honestly
item of the bunch it was honest. Explain to me what you like about it quickly.
I like that it's cold. Oh my God. Oh my God. It's a fucking guy makes more money than the
firefighters on 9 11. What do you like about Baja blast? It's cold. Yeah, well this tournament's real, damn it. People pay $10 a month for this? This tournament's actually happening. I saw thousands of doughboy listeners in New Jersey celebrating the Munch Madness finale.
Peacefully, peacefully.
Peacefully.
They're peaceful.
They're peaceful.
Look, the cheesy Gordy to Crunch knocked out some of my other favorites.
I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to lie. peacefully. Look, the cheesy good or the crunch knocked out some of my other favorites was
the BP five layer, which I like because of you. Uh, gaber's introduced me to the BP
five. I think you pulled up in your car. You're like, get in. You want to try something. I'm
like, have you ever heard of a BV6 layer? And I pop it onto my dick.
I would love if that replaced the popcorn bucket.
Oh, yes.
You know?
I'm halfway through the barrel, like, it's still
only five layers.
And you got to get to the bottom, where there's just
all sour cream and one little nickel of a pecker.
Nickel.
So we will move on, but what you love about this is that it's cold and it's a drink.
Everything it was going up against, I stand by my decision for Baja Blast Freeze.
What was it going up against?
It was going up against, you remember Wise, right?
Yeah, it was like a bag of rusty screws.
No, it had a matchup. It had a one on one matchup with Chalupa Supreme.
You and Hanford both voted for Baja Blast Freeze over Chalupa Supreme.
I have to go.
I have to fucking get out of here.
I don't know if I could be part of this finale.
And guess what folks, I'd fucking do it every time! No! Fuck you! Fuck you!
I wish Jared was here in your place.
He would never do something so cruel and fucked up!
He'd look all good outside of the table too.
All slimmed down, that fuck.
I'm really just jealous of Jared.
He walks in holding your pants.
Just shocked at my pants. Who's are these? Yikes. Maybe they should make a four inch.
That was good. Look,
Bobby De Niro.
The competitors are what they are. The finale is what it is.
We're going to get through it. People are having a blast out there.
People are having fun. People are having a blast.
Is anyone having a Baja blast?
No!
But we do have some business to get to, Mitch.
That's right.
And on that note, let me introduce him for the rules of the tournament of champions.
Please welcome newly appointed commissioner, Matt Kowalik.
Wow!
Wow!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo!
Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! It is me!
Was that a Koalik remix of the song?
Sounded like it.
Koalik, thanks for being here.
Hey, it's me, the savior of the tournament.
Koalik, the person you have all came to see.
Commissioner K!
When I say K, you say wall.
K.
Wall.
K.
Wall.
Wow, yeah, that's great.
It worked.
It really worked.
Thanks, buddy.
Let's get to the tournament rules.
Sure, we got some new rules.
But first, do you guys want to hear the theme
for next year's tournament?
Wow. Once then in 2025, the theme is going to be revealed for next year's tournament. Wow.
The theme is going to be revealed here live on stream.
Wow. New new rule number one.
Next year will be Munch Madness 2025.
Say cheese a tournament of cheese.
Wow. We're looking. Wow.
We're looking at new art here. It's quality quality. Right.
Really forwarded himself in the artwork. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds like it could be fun. You
know, cheddar versus Swiss or something like that. That's great. mozzarella versus pepper Yeah, no Only my favorite kind of cheese Gouda
It's only the brands best brand Sargento Dutch Mill Glacier Ridge
Who will win
Qualic that that sucks a whole month eating Gouda. We don't want to do that. Yeah, it sucks. No, it doesn't
Gouda is awesome. It's the cheese that makes those little trap so irresistible.
And his idea is worse than this year.
Well, we'll think about it.
No, I don't think so. New rule.
New rule number two, the head gum studios been feeling head gum studio has been feeling pretty crowded these days
What's the name of that mangy mutt that's always laying around?
Jeremy Jerry
Qualic it's jemmy and I think you know that jemmy the dog
There she is. We got a photo of her
Looking very cute on the beach.
What a beautiful pooch.
Yeah, Jemmy, great name for a dog.
What the fuck?
Anyway, she's banned from the studio.
Wait, no, come on now.
Sorry.
I hope Jemmy's not watching the stream at home, you sicko.
Yeah, maybe Conover needs a dog to guard all of his hair products.
He can have Jenny. Shot fired by Conover. Hey sorry. You know and finally I've been
noticing that there's a lot of mistakes going on with the Taco Bell orders this
tournament. Have you guys noticed that? We actually have noticed. We were just talking about
how there was that order
with zero sauce.
We had everything dry.
There was the cheesy fiesta potatoes were missing.
We made Tony eat meat accidentally.
Tony Charlene Ramos accidentally ate beef
for the first time in her life.
And the order was wrong.
Exactly.
Every week, something goes horribly wrong.
And I think I know who's responsible.
Amelia, could you come out here for a second?
What the fuck? Amelia Mar could you come out here for a second? What the fuck?
Amelia Moreno, our associate producer.
Oh, and you brought my Baja Blast Freeze.
God bless you.
Thanks, Amelia.
Hey, Amelia, I know that getting these orders right
is like really hard,
but just to ensure that nothing like this ever happens again,
my new rule number three is that Amelia is fired.
Boo!
Boo!
Boo!
What?
Are you, what did I miss?
It's for the good of the tournament.
Can you do this?
Matt, hey, I'm talking to Matt now.
You can't fire our employee.
Oh, but I can.
I have the, Lev Ginsburg has given me the power of attorney.
A therny?
Now! Now!
The power of the attorney?
I think you said power of attorney.
The power of the attorney?
That's a rule, yeah!
And that doesn't kick in until next year's tournament?
No, it kicks in now.
Okay, okay, okay.
Yeah, that's what I'm following.
And I can fire her because Lev gave me the power of attorney.
Now, do I need to start?
What?
What?
Whoa!
What music is that?
What?
That's Evan Susser's music.
What?
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa! Oh my God! What on earth? Whoa! Oh my god! Oh my god! The post commissioner, private citizen, Evan Susser, what the hell are you doing here?
Who invited you here?
There's an old saying in doughboy's lore.
It goes like this.
If you come for the commissioner, you best not miss.
Oh!
You made one mistake, Matt Kowalick,
when you removed me as commissioner.
You left me alive.
Oh my God. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo.
Wow.
Now I'm back, and I'm taking back my tournament.
You son of a bitch!
Oh! Hey!
Rip the Commissioner's sash off of Commissioner Kowalik!
Can he do that? What the hell is going on?
Can he even do that? Can he even do that?
Yeah, folks. I don't know if he can do that.
That is my sash. I am the Commissioner. Lev gave me the power of this tournament. What the hell is going on? Can he even do that? Can he even do that? I don't know if he can do that.
That is my sash.
I am the commissioner.
Lev gave me the power of this attorney.
The power of the attorney.
The doughboy's lawyer, Lev Ginsburg.
Yes, that same one.
Well, it just so happens that Lev Ginsburg is here at the Dynasty typewriter.
Oh my God.
What?
Lev, come on out. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. It's Lev Ginsburg.
Lev Ginsburg. What the hell are you doing here? Wow. Here you go. Hi Lev. I have never met this man before in my life.
Oh my God.
This is not my client.
How dare you, sir.
Also I checked with the Doughboy's accountant, Dan Cantor.
That's him.
Wow.
Yeah, it's Dan Cantor. That's him. Wow. Yes. Dan Cantor is a real accountant.
It just so happens that the entire March Patreon
was transferred to a one Matthew Kowalick's Venmo.
Whoa!
Oh my God.
Oh guys, relax.
Oh, thank you.
My stairs, my precious stairs. Okay, we'll get you some new stairs. Oh guys, relax. Mike. Oh thank you. My stairs, my precious stairs.
Okay, we'll get you some new stairs, it'll be fine.
Thank you, Lev.
Wow.
One more thing.
Nick, Mitch.
Yeah?
Like, I mean, I've already told you this, right? Stop saying my fucking name.
On your shitty little podcast.
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. on your shitty little podcast.
Yes, sir. Sorry, sir.
Sorry, Lev. We love you.
We love you, Lev. We love you, Lev.
We love you.
And now, back to you, Koalik.
Since you've got those rules in front of you,
why don't you pull up rule number 10?
Rule number 10? Three to 10.
For the end of the list, a twist.
This year, Commissioner Evan Susser is invoking the right
to use three commissioner twists whenever he sees fit.
That's right, the ultimate Chekhov's gun
is about to blow your fucking brains out oh my god cinnamon twist number one you're out
oh my god koala you animal cinnamon twist two. My snacks are reinstated. Nick, give me back my snacks.
Yeah, okay, I got them right here.
That's your second order of business?
Ah, yeah!
They were removed. Thank you. Okay.
I had them on standby.
That's also his payment for the night.
Cinnamon twist number three.
I get a bunch more cinnamon twists.
Okay, cinnamon twist number four.
Amelia, get back out here.
Yeah!
Amelia, your job at the Doughboys is safe for life.
Yay!
Wow.
Thank you, Susser, and yours is too.
Yeah!
Right!
Wait, what?
Wait, what?
Susser's is safe for life too?
Yep, it's safe for life. OK.
And now for the rules of the tournament, the champions.
Emma, mic stand.
I got through the whole stuff except for that.
OK, mic stand.
Incredible.
Commissioner Susur is back, everyone.
What a tournament!
Wow.
Only Koalik could get me to cheer
for Susser showing up.
Ah!
Ah!
Perhaps that was a calculation.
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Here are the rules for Doughboys,
for Whom the Bell Doze,
Munch Madness 2024 Tournament of Champions,
Dokiro Taco Bell.
Rule one, everyone is here.
This is a comprehensive Taco Bell tournament.
That means every single item from the menu
is to be considered.
Rule two, we're spicing up the night, not the morning.
Breakfast items are excluded from the tournament.
There's a revision to rule one that potentially suggested
that every item would be included.
Rule three, is Pepsi okay?
Barely.
This tournament will consider drinks exclusive to Taco Bell,
not every single soda.
Adenomous rule, Baja Blast is included,
even though it's not exclusive.
Okay, rule four, everybody say the slay with me,
like dum dum dum, yum yum yum!
Great.
Seeing the dumb brands and taking into account
the tradition of combination Taco Bells,
there will be a Yum Brands alter category in this tournament.
Rule five, buy any beans necessary.
Any meat or veggie protein is valid on any item.
Rule six, if it's seasonable, it's unreasonable.
This tournament will be Taco Bell items,
menu as constituted February 1st, 2024.
That sucks.
Rule, rule seven, that's why this is not right.
The other sausage sauce plus rumblies match
was unstaged and there will be no ramifications
except for the audience that has to only use hot sauce.
Rule eight, the Jen D'Angelo rule.
Everyone say this one with me too.
I have a cream.
Don't. Say it again, the FBI will fucking shoot you. say this one with me too. I have a cream.
Say it again. The FBI will fucking shoot you.
For each group stage, the selection committee may, but are not required to pick a sour cream of the crop winner for the funniest plausible winner of the round. Rule nine, the Lamar Woods rule,
the winning tournament menu will go to Austin Butler to shake him out of character as Elvis
or Fade Ratha Harkonnen.
Oh, hearing those two back to back is weird.
Yeah, it's kind of weird.
I'd like you just think about Elvis.
It's true.
Elvis Presley and Fade Ratha Harkonnen.
What do you think it would be like?
Both played by Austin.
Yeah, I was having that thought.
I think if you combine the two,
you'd end up with Elvis Harkonnen, wouldn't you?
Wow.
Oh!
Interesting. And I think he might sound a little something like this. Hit it, Emma! If you combine the two, you'd end up with Elvis Harkonnen, wouldn't you? Wow. Oh!
Interesting.
And I think he might sound a little something like this.
Hit it, Emma!
Woohoo!
Dry Spice Planet gonna set my soul, gonna set my soul on fire.
Got a whole lot of sand worms that are ready to to burrow So get those carioles up higher
There's a thousand blue-eyed fremen waiting out there
And Lisan Al-Gaib has answered their prayers
And I'm just the baron's chosen heir
So cleaver all ruckus
Cleaver all ruckus
Instead of Las Vegas
We were, we were all Rackers
Woo!
Okay, back to the rules
For those of you just listening, not watching the livestream, about 12 pairs of panties
have landed on stage.
Or one big pair.
We're about to find out.
Truly.
The aisles are flooded.
And rule ten for the...
Oh yeah, it's back to these.
For the end of the list...
The aisles are dry again.
This year, Commissioner Evans-Hosner
is evoking the right to use three commissioner twists
whenever he sees fit to increase the excitement
of the tournament.
And here's one more twist.
Another twist.
Another twist.
Another twist.
Just like we did last summer.
Fack.
Fack Chance Kitchen is back.
That's right. Each guest can bring back one item back into the tournament right now!
Damn it! See you in hell! Wait, wait, wait, wait, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, stop the music, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop the music, Susser, Susser! Yes. Susser, before you go...
I do have a question.
Yeah.
Regarding the recently announced IHOP Sonic the Hedgehog menu,
is Sonic's Blue Blur special pancakes an original menu item,
or is it simply a relabeled version of the existing double blueberry pancakes?
Nick, I would hit you with a fucking steel chair if I wasn't scared of Natalie.
Bye, Evan Susser everybody.
Commissioner Susser, he's back.
He's here to stay.
Wow.
Mitch, I will say, because I, you know, when, when Susser isn't here, I read the rules.
And so I've read the rules a lot this, this month.
Do you want to read them again?
I was just going to say-
I think he's daring you to read them.
No, you know, listening, listening to them being on this side of it and in front of an
audience, you really sense that they are interminable. Why do we do this? It took nine tournaments,
but the rules are bad. Nick Weigert loves rules.
Surprise, surprise. Suster read them fast yet slow somehow. Wow. What a, what a scene
that was. Yeah, that was really
exciting. Insane things happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, thanks. The three of you
for being here. Very sorry. Sorry. You watched the play. I loved it. I think we
were not consensually in the play. Yeah, It did make me happy that I'm gay, but.
It made me really curious about the Q in LGBTQ.
Well guys.
I'm querious.
Am I the only person in the entire theater
who caught that Gabris had a reference
to Chubby Checkers twisting.
No, I heard it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was great.
I was trying to get Susser to finish his fucking
stupid rules.
Guys, you each get to bring back one item from the grave.
Let's go down the list.
Mono, what item are you resuscitating
for Fat Chance Kitchen?
And this is from something that was eliminated.
Something that was eliminated,
which is the entire Taco Bell menu item.
So everything's on the table.
Okay, I'm okay.
My choice is based on basically an item that changed
the game when Taco Bell wasn't yet changing the game.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Interesting. What?
Back in the 90s when Taco Bell just started saying, you know what, maybe we don't only have tacos and burritos. Whoa. What? Back in the 90s, when Taco Bell just started saying, you know what,
maybe we don't only have tacos and burritos. Whoa. There was a Chalupa Supreme. Chalupa
Supreme is back. Chalupa Supreme is back. Fuck. The rematch we all wanted. Chalupa Supreme
versus Baja Blast Freeze. Wow. Yes. Suck it Hanford. Yeah, I'm so mad at Mike Hanford.
I already was for this hyper personal thing he did to me,
but now with this, dude is toast.
It's on site, Hanford,
you're getting a fucking two piece combo.
I'm bringing back the Potato Soft Taco.
Let's fucking go!
Let's go!
Yes!
It's the best! It's the best!
You people are fucking pathetic.
You got your fucking potato soft taco back.
Shut the fuck up.
A great choice. Two great menu items reentering the competition.
Gabrus, it falls to you.
Just a little item that rhymes with the kwee-fee...
Keep going.
Kwee-fee...
Go ahead. What's the second word?
Dive? Yes.
Sometimes my mouth moves faster than my brain,
and I was like...
The kwee-fee dive player,
AKA the beefy five layer.
Beefy five layer burrito rounds out the competition.
I love it.
I love it.
That gives us, I believe, a final six of Baja Blast Freeze,
Cheesy Gordita Crunch, and the Yum Brands All-Star Game
winner, the Habit Tempura Green Beans.
The clear favorite of the bunch.
As well as the three resuscitated items,
the Chalupa Supreme, the Spicy Potato Soft Taco,
and the Beefy Five Layer Burrito.
Yes.
Wow, that list is almost all bangers.
Yeah.
I'm going to assume you're talking about the green beans.
Here's the thing I'll just say in Mitch's defense.
I don't think he is doing any sort of Machiavellian scheming.
I think he honestly believes in his heart
that Baja Blast Freeze belongs here in the finale.
I don't think he was like,
let's set up a squash match with Cheesy Gordita Crunch,
which I want to win, versus a little Patsy
that's gonna take a dive.
I don't think he was doing that.
Thank you, Wigz.
You guys aren't gonna trust my heart, my failing heart. got to trust his heart. It's the last chance you got. This is going
to kill you faster than a Chalupa man. This is like drinking antifreeze. Also, if you
made the passion in your argument was nil, it was nothing. You like it because it's cold
and it's a drink. I think that this is a quintessential Taco Bell item.
In the drinks category, there's nothing like it.
You can't get this anywhere else in the world.
There's nothing like this in the drinks category.
You sure there's not something that's pretty similar to this?
But instead, the ice is inside of it, and it's not blended at all?
And there is one item that's close to it.
OK. And there's another item that. One item that's close to it. Okay. And there's
another item that's like a zero sugar. Yes. And you love it. I do love it. And I like
the Bob last zero. I think it is a good story. If it comes, it becomes, we talked about it.
Starry zero. I know it's where we're completely outside of starry starry. I'm gonna tell you
my normal order is cheesy gordita crunch, beefy five layer in this guy. That's, that's what I guess.
Three things. No, I get like four other things, but
but that those are, those are the, that's the rock because I, because that's the
thing of like, I very often to talk about if I'm indulging, I still won't get the
liquid calories. I said none of the sweet drinks really do it for me enough
where it's like that has to be part of my order. I never get a drink.
Yeah.
No.
I'm usually already fucked up in some capacity.
Right, yeah.
That I don't wanna just add like 900 calories,
liquid calories on top of what I'm doing.
Right.
I've already had like 12 white claws.
You already had the 900.
You already had the 900 liquid calories.
Yes.
I think that it's not, I think it's a very good drink.
I think it deserves to be here, I'm sorry.
I believe you when you say that, but I also think,
I also think you are a huge dipshit.
Who picked the stupid menu item.
Sisters watching this shit.
And if you love it so much, if you love it so much,
finish it.
Oh yeah, finish all of it.
You love it. Wait, Dr. Miles Spar, friend of Lev Ginsburg, texted me and said, I'm watching the live
stream. Don't make Mitch finish it.
Okay, never mind.
Or my Dr. Gabris and I shared, do you not have a phone? It's a live stream.
Do it. Do it. It's a space work phone.
I'm just doing a little improv for everybody. No, Mitch, I don't sit on my fucking phone when I'm
recording podcasts as a listener. Have you got it off?
Have you listened to this fucking part? Looking up the
greetings of the power play zero Nick lay off. Don't now I
don't want you to. Mitch don't Mitch don't do it. We talked
about. He did it. Wow. Yeah we're gonna stop doing stunting. Please stop, no! I'm gonna cut you down.
He did it.
Wow, yeah!
I mean, if you're only listening,
he's doing the Keystone Beer Bitter Beer face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
You love that.
Wise, if you don't think,
why don't we put it up against something right now?
It really, it really, to me,
tastes like Windex blended with margarita mix.
It is so, like it has this harshness to it.
I find it unpleasant.
It's got like a dimetap flavor.
Yeah, it's what a mom would use to slowly kill her kids.
You know?
Where they'd be like, we found a bunch of Baja blasts in the garage right next to a
bunch of poison.
Well guess what?
The kids never knew.
This is the shit the government puts in like poor neighborhoods so they stop having kids. garage right next to a bunch of poison. Well, guess what? The kids never knew.
This is the shit the government puts in like poor neighborhoods so they stop having kids.
We should...
You can't be having this shit.
This shit makes you sterile.
I'm doing the job for you, mama.
Uh, look, we have to...
Sorry.
Keep going.
Gabriel's just brought out another Taco Bell menu item.
Oh, yes.
You thought I was joking?
He had a grilled cheese burrito in his pocket.
That wasn't a lot.
This is not part of the competition at all.
But this is just for Uncle Gabris.
I got stoned before the show and I was like,
I'm going to be hungry again.
Now I'm intrigued by your salsa.
Wild, which is against the rules,
but this is not a tournament item.
Yeah, well, the rules don't apply to the host to the host or guest, but you are, but you,
like you just doused the outside of it.
You just kind of peer north the top of the burrito there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I pretty much just Christian steeled the top of it there.
But the, I usually, you know, bite and squirt a la airheads, but I, I know I have to hold
the mic with the other hand, so I'm gonna go hot dog style for this.
I'm gonna eat this like the way I eat a hot dog
on the exercise bike at the gym.
You know?
You do, you do like a 90s husband in a sitcom, you know?
I have that vibe.
I'm overweight and annoying.
What gym are you going to, by the way, I might actually go to a gym now
where you get a hot dog on the fucking bike.
It's a Peloton at Pete Diddy's house. I
we should. Mitch, I think you were you were getting towards this.
And I liked your line of thinking here.
I think we need to eliminate something because we have six
competent six items of the competition.
Baja Blast Freeze, beefy five layer burrito,
cheesy gordita crunch, chalupa supreme,
spicy potato soft taco, and the Yum brand
for our green beans.
We need to eliminate something
because it's gonna come down to a final two
and then we're going to pick a winner.
Can I, should it go up against the green beans
since it's like the green beans are not a Taco Bell item?
And they're both green.
Oh.
Green versus green.
Wow, a green on green match.
We will count down from three to one,
and we'll say in unison what we want to eliminate,
Baja Blast Freeze, or the Umbrands All-Star Game winner,
the Habit Tempura Green Beans.
We're saying the one we want to die.
All right, go away.
Oh, wait, is it clearer to say the one we want to keep?
It's probably, we usually say we want the winner.
Should we just have Suser run through the rules again?
Suser, can you get out of here?
No, no, no, please.
Play the music.
Emma, play the music.
While Suser just rushed on stage.
Thank you.
Uh, okay, uh, rule number one, everyone is here. Rule number two, we're spicing up the night and the morning.
Rule number three is Pepsi okay barely.
Rule number four, yum yum yum.
By any means necessary.
If it's seasonal, it's unreasonable.
The spice is not right.
The Angie Angela rule, I have a cream.
The Mara Woods rule.
And the commissioner twist.
Yeah, I don't think any of this clarifies anything.
But I will say we'll count down from three to one
and say which one.
I was gonna say this 400 year old stage suss are rumbling out from behind
in all my hundred years. I was like, I didn't know there was an elevated train
near here. I just want to point out the production value of this official
commissioner of the dough boys stationary. We didn't get this for him.
And that paper is nice.
Yeah, this is like a heavy stock.
Yeah.
Well, he was printing up resumes once he got fired.
We'll count down from three.
What we want to stay in the competition,
Baja Blast Freeze or the Habit Temporary Green Beans.
OK.
Three, two, one.
Green beans!
Bava tempura green beans!
Not in, in, in, unintelligible.
Yes, that was unintelligible.
Unintelligible.
Mitch speaks like Nanny from Muppet Babies.
And just like Nanny from Muppet Babies,
everyone's looking at your legs.
I heard a quorum for Tempura Green Beans.
Am I wrong? Did everyone vote?
Everyone voted for it, except for me.
You sick fucks.
Tempura Green Beans is in the competition still.
Bob last week.
Yeah!
Get the fuck out of here!
Get out of here!
No one wants your stupid fucking ass. Get the fuck out of here! Get out of here! No one wants your stupid fucking ass!
Get the fuck out of here!
Alright!
Winwin!
How was the show hun?
I'm never going back.
Now here's the thing. I think we all agree.
First off, the Habit Tempura Green Beans
which full disclosure we had backstage
because we didn't want to make everyone have to go out to the Habit.
The Habit, they did not come with sauce which is a bummer to come with a spicy ranch and they still fucking beat Baja Blast Freeze.
Yeah they still slap and they were great well fried. They truly impressed me great texture. Yeah. Great. I believe the Taco Bell tournament for God's sakes. Yeah. You're not listening to the rules about the young brands all star game brands rule socks. Yum yum yum. I'm paying attention. I think that we should put the
green beans up against something a little tougher. I think personally. Well now they
have to be. Yeah. They're up against exclusively good stuff. Now that the fucking 84 seed just rolled out of there.
Now that Baja community just got 102 to 18
in the first round.
In fact, you really sent this item to slaughter
when you think about it.
It's like putting up the worst player in the fourth quarter.
Like why?
That was a very bad
sports. Yeah, you knew they were going to get annihilated. I didn't think it would
go down like this. I'm disappointed, but I understand why. Cause I get it. It wasn't
going to win the tournament. Vinod who maintains the doughboys wiki. Are you here? Did Vinod
make it out? Yeah. Vinod, when you update the Doughboyz Wiki, just make sure to say that Baja Blast Freeze came
in sixth place.
Just make sure he clarified his canonically came in sixth.
One of the two Taco Bell menu items that made the finale
ended up finishing in sixth place.
Next up, a BB5 layer burrito.
Thank you, Vinod.
Up again for Vinod.
What a Chad.
What a hero.
I began for Vinod. What a Chad, what a hero.
He's editing the wiki now.
He's doing a big show.
He's updating my death day.
March 27th.
Technically it was 1201.
I do like the Tempura Green Beans a lot.
I'm a big fan of them. I was a fan going in. I do like the tempura green beans a lot.
I'm a big fan of them.
I was a fan going in.
I was glad that they won the Yum Brands All-Star Game
against a bunch of different offerings from KFC
and from Pizza Hut and from The Habit.
They emerged and I think they deserved it.
Are we really going to award them the Dave Thomas Cup
for the singular Taco Bell menu item?
I mean, can we be honest here?
I don't think they should win this tournament.
No, I think they went up against the only thing they could beat this evening. I think that's fair.. I mean, can we be honest here? No! I don't think they should win this tournament. No, I think they went up against
the only thing they could beat this evening.
I think that's fair, and I think we can say
that the Tempura Green Beans are now eliminated.
So that winnows the field to four.
Wow!
May I say, I think the Tempura Green Beans
would be awesome in a Taco Bell burrito.
Betsy, I love that.
Oh, fuck!
Talk about yum yum yum!
Yum yum!
They would be, cause we put French fries in them before.
Yeah.
Put those green beans in, man.
That'd be so fun.
I love that idea.
What do we pair them with though?
I mean, I'm agreeing, but now let's build it.
What you feel?
What am I?
Oh shit. What am I but now let's build it
Yes, I knew period dude, she'll kill you and the Betsy's ragging out hard over here
No, I agree I don't know why we synced up to Betsy whenever she's on her period I'm hard man. No, I agree. I don't know what. I'm synced up to Betsy. Whenever she's on her period, I'm hard the whole time.
And it's the only time I'm hard each month. Jesus.
God.
Dear God.
Can a live feed be taken down?
Probably.
Yeah, by like a crazy Elvis fan with like a cease and desist.
Yeah, by like a crazy Elvis fan with like a cease and desist
Backstage Amelia got chicken nuggets for her dinner and came with some barbecue sauce The tempura green beans had no sauce with them the three scumbags over here
We fucking improvised a little pop that BBQ sauce open nice little pairing
It was good. I grabbed those chicken nuggets out of that bag at the last second. I'm pretty sure one of you bit my hand. Yeah, we were like, we like when you
dip a cow into the Amazon river to demonstrate what piranhas do to it. We just threw a Taco
bell bag in the back and just like shredded bag and rappers were shooting up in the air
and empty sauce.
Fucking people singing a fucking Christmas song in the air and empty sauce people singing the
fucking Christmas song in the corner was fucking chaos silly Mitch we making out
with two of them we were like Raptors tearing apart a goat carcass we're
disgusting Chris Pratt actually came in and separated us all it's like he did
this all the time on tomorrow I love you Chris Chris. Thanks for watching tonight. You're going to church with him Sunday, right?
I got, I got a church. Yeah. Cool. That's awesome. I would have begged for that invite.
I'd be so good at church. I bet you Pratt does watch this shit because he can't touch
this from a mile away. So he's like, he, it's like, you know, he just sits in his room and like fingers his mouth
watching us eat.
Oh, saliva shoots out. Rubbed by what's the thing called back there?
Uvula? Oh yeah that's it. I was saying it's like the thing and the women.
The thing?
Yes, the thing and the women.
The thing and the women.
Jesus Christ, are you gayer than me?
I think technically on paper, yeah.
I mean, he's definitely less straight than you are.
I went to church this Saturday. I went to church for you. The priest afterwards said, you're giant. You told me, I told you
this. And he said, are you Irish? That's truly, I was like, yep. And he was like, okay. And
he walked away. You were in a, you were in a, you were in a velour Boston Celtics traction. You Irish, you bet your fucking ass, father.
By the way, it's a one communion wafer, buddy.
The body wasn't that good today.
Hey, what time is he going to turn everything into fish? BV five layer burrito, chalupa supreme, cheesy cornita crunch, spice, potato soft taco.
This is, this is fucking tough.
I mean, I have my favorites here, but I don't want to send anything home because these are
all great.
We're not gonna have a four way.
Should we like face, do any of them face off?
Yeah.
No.
I mean we don't have a we don't have a discrete bracket here but we could we could just say like one of these.
They thought of almost everything.
Except for how to land this fucking plane.
Um, I mean.
Why don't we just do the tough, I don't want to do it.
Should we all say what we would?
We should all say our least favorite.
Okay.
Yes.
We should all say our least favorite, right?
Boy, ah, God.
I don't want to call anything my least favorite.
Yeah, that's unfair.
Because that's kind of, that's weirdly unfair.
Why don't we just do a tough one?
Why don't we do cheesy, gritty,
to crunch versus potato soft taco?
Oh!
What?
It's me versus you, you son of a bitch. Oh, my
God. This is gonna call in. This is my loyalty here. I like
live right on the Mason Dixon line. Oh, my God. This is
tough. I'm like slavery.
Imagine being on the fence about that war. Which side am I
on? It's good people on both sides. Let's, we're gonna have to settle that at a certain point.
We're gonna have to settle cheesy Gordita crunch
versus spicy potato soft taco,
but I worry we'd be putting the main event
earlier in the card.
I think we should do beefy five layer
versus Chalupa Supreme.
Okay.
I think we gotta figure that out.
All right.
That's even harder for me. This is a've got to figure that out. All right. OK. Harder for me.
This is this is a tough one.
I think I have my answer.
I think we should just count down from three to one and say in unison
what we think should stay.
OK, which of these two we're going to do this like three more times.
OK, five layer burrito or Chalupa Supreme.
OK, OK, OK, OK.
Three, two, one.
I heard, I heard, I heard a majority.
I said Chalupa at first. I meant PP five layer. Okay. Wait, really? What did you say?
I said Chalupa. I don't know why I said it wrong. I said the thing wrong. Wait, no,
by the way, she said like pizza fire, fire.
She had a fucking stroke.
like pizza fire fire.
You got a fucking stroke. I'm getting poisoned man.
I'm getting poisoned.
No you're fine.
Keep drinking, keep drinking.
Yeah, Mono's trying to kill me.
Keep drinking.
If I do die weird, it's Mono for sure.
No, no, no.
You definitely went, pizza five in an ass.
I kill Betsy for her ghost residuals.
We don't. It's okay, keep drinking. One of the only shows on fucking linear.
Yeah.
We don't have to be beholden to what we said.
We should go with what's in our heart.
It sounded like beefy five layer burrito
is a majority of three to two.
Beefy five layer is my word.
I'm saddened by that.
I do like the Chalupa Supreme,
but I think beefy five layerers had a very strong showing.
I think I haven't done, and someone has suggested this to me, is to get a BV5
layer without the beef subbing beans there.
The Chalupa Supreme slaps with black beans.
That's why I really like it.
While we're talking about both of them, my only kickback against the Chalupa,
I'm a big Chalupa Supreme and I'm a really big nacho cheese Chalupa fan. But I don't think, I think it travels the worst
of all taco.
That is absolutely fair.
Yeah.
And I think.
Even hard tacos somehow make it better.
And I was with you, I do agree.
But I made the argument that it's like even,
it's like a really hot football player in their twenties
who gets slightly soft in their forties.
Oh yeah.
Still pretty fucking hot.
Story of my life.
But I, you want to fuck Tom Brady for 20 years.
I don't think it can, it can be, I don't think, I think B5L is just a superior
item with more to offer.
Yeah.
One of the best adaptation, uh, Mano's the one who taught me about,
you know, zhuzhing each item on the app. You make it so one of the old zhuzhes I used to do is beefy
five layer add the nacho fries inside. Wow. Just a touch of texture. I know that kind of eliminates
the bowl of goop that I like so much about the beefy five layer, but it's nice to throw that in
there every once in a while. Throw a sixth layer.
What if they brought back,
you remember the naked chicken taco?
Yes, yes, yes.
What if you put a B5L inside of that?
Oh, fuck yeah.
Smart, what you mean like a chicken burrito wrap?
I was pitching new Taco Bell on those.
Yeah, you put the beefy five layer burrito
in between the chicken.
Inside, dude.
I love that idea, it's such a great pitch.
I did do that thing where you put two tacos
inside of a quesadilla.
It was, mine was there for one of the times I did it.
I thought you were referring to that thing
and we all know, like, yeah, I know the thing.
Did everybody else do the thing?
You know the thing.
I know the thing.
You know the thing.
I've done it a bunch, it rules.
This is like if Christopher Nolan was a fat fuck.
We're incepting our own heart attacks.
It's a temporal pincer movement.
Baja Blast is traveling from the future backwards.
That's why it has little oxygen masks on. I like that
the BV five layer feels like one of those, you know, like water snake, you know, those
like things that are filled with water. That's not the motion you're making. You guys familiar
with the water? We've already said earlier this hour that we want to put our dick in
a beefy five layer.
This just solidifies that.
We've been saying it for over two hours.
We're talking about it backstage too.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch Spicy Potato Soft Taco.
We just got to do it.
It's not easy.
Fuck.
I just want to say a word for the Spicy Potato Soft Taco.
Spicy Potato Taco versus beefy five layer.
No, versus Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
Right?
Because we got to... I don't know. Would you rather do it versus beefy five layer? No versus cheesy Gordino. Right. Because we got an all right. Would you rather be five layer? Why not? Well, why is the beef like that's like winter? Let's
be real with ourselves. The two top items of potato soft taco versus cheesy Gordino.
You don't you don't. I don't think you agree. I don't. I'm saying I don't agree and you
agree. So no, I don't pump the brakes. Mr. Fucking annual loser. You're just setting yourself up.
Nothing I like will ever happen for me.
Like, no, I don't like the spicy potato taco
as much as these guys.
I'm on him.
I'm on him.
But are we playing winner stays on is what I'm asking.
I think we should do cheesy Gordy to crunch
versus spicy potato soft taco.
Because instead of making BV5 layer go up,
it's another match.
BV5 layer won one.
It's gotta sit down for a minute. It won, it's gotta sit down. It's gotta get like the guy to pat it on its back and say
you got this little Mac. I definitely have my favorite here. We'll see what happens. We're
gonna count down from three to one. Oh this is hard. This sucks. Say the one you want to say.
Don't you fuck this up, Mano. Don't you fuck this up, Mano. Now Mitch, obviously say whatever you want and then explain
yourself for like 45 seconds after.
We have to get this right.
Betsy is ragging like crazy, okay?
Okay.
You okay, Mitch?
My heart's maybe beating, I don't know.
Well, beating is good.
Okay, all right.
Yeah, beating's a good thing.
You're not supposed to feel it that much, but.
Three, two, one.
Spicy potato taco! Wait, what? Mando, I, Spicy Potato Soft Taco!
Wait, what?
Mato, I'm so proud of you!
Did Spicy Potato Soft Taco win?
What happened?
We voted for Potato Soft Taco.
I did too! 3-2! Oh my god!
TZBorninaCrunch eliminated! Holy fucking shit!
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god. People are not happy.
Yeah! Fuck you! People are not happy.
Fuck you!
I am shocked. I am brought back from the grave.
I'm shocked.
I'm defeating the tournament favorite.
Gabris is upset.
I'm fine.
Let's hurry up though.
Since this is, yeah, we're going way fucking long.
Since this is like the World Cup, that's been the format of this tournament, we should have
a third place game.
So that pits the cheesy Gordita Crunch versus the Chalupa Supreme.
One of these will win the bronze.
Countdown from three to one.
Whatever we want to have is our third place winner.
Here we go.
I was checking my heart rate on my Apple Watch.
Oh no.
Mitch, it's Chalupa Supreme versus cheesy Gordita Crunch for third place.
Three, two, one. Cheesy Gordita Crunch for third place. Three, two, one.
Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
Unanimous, unanimous third place winner.
Congrats to CTC.
I can't believe this.
I'm shocked as well, Mitch.
Now Mitch, what if I told you none of this matters?
Yeah.
matters just do this thought experiment with me beefy five layer burrito versus spicy potato soft taco will be the finale but before we do that there is
one additional award that we must give out before we crown our winner Mitch I
don't fucking care anymore Mitch we got to give out the heart of a chomp.
We do care about the structure of the term matters. The harp, the heart of a champion
award. This goes to an individual or item that has played extraordinary metal in this
tournament. And for people who are less familiar with this concept, potato soft taco, I'm more
than the cheese. I love the spice potatoes and the cheesy Gordy to crunch. You can it's
better. Well, I don't think I'd like it in the same way.
It wouldn't have the same sauce.
It would have a different texture.
I was expecting to lose.
I was expecting to lose too.
You know what I mean?
I thought the crowd was gonna revolt against you guys.
I think they did.
But I think me and Mitch might be on
some sort of CGC island.
We got some booze, we got some booze.
No, much deserved booze, yeah, of course.
But I think the spicy potato tacoze, yeah, of course.
But I think the spicy potato taco is, and it's delicious.
I tried it for the first time this past weekend, I loved it.
And I think it's great, but I can't believe it fucking won.
I'm honestly shocked.
I thought it was gonna be the lone-
Shut the fuck up.
One of maybe two spicy potato soft taco boats.
I just felt like I would-
175 is a normal heart rate, right?
I think that's technically like, if you're doing a hit class, maybe.
I felt like mine was going to lose, so I just wanted to like give it some love.
Yeah.
I didn't think it would win.
No.
Well, here we are.
Yes.
The Heart of a Champion Award Mitch in the Past has gone to Five Guys,
Armin Weitzman, Super Mario, you the fans,
Grimace, PJs Pizzuki, Italians as a people,
and Lids.
Mitch, we can throw out some nominees,
but I have a few ideas for this.
So first off, the Taco Bell app.
What a great app. How awesome is that?
It's a good one. It's a good one.
It's like top five phone apps, period.
It really is.
It's so functional.
And it's hands down the best food ordering app
of everyone that does this shit.
Absolutely nailed it.
The Don was down the part of it.
Shout out Dynasty Typewriter for Christmas
gave me a hundred dollar gift card to Taco Bell on the rocks.
And you can upload that directly to your app
and it's just like a credit.
I went through it already.
I'm not dropping hints about next year's Christmas.
Yeah.
By the way, you recently announced a 420 live stream
that will be here at the dynasty typewriter.
That's correct, yeah.
It should be, it should be more,
maybe more confusing than this, I don't know.
It'll definitely have more Pondibaba references.
420, Saturday, 420, 730 p.m. here at live and live streamed
in case you don't want to ever leave your house again
after this debacle.
Yeah, and then stay for the 1030 show,
which is Bad Drag Race.
Oh yeah!
Big night, big night.
Big night, big night.
Drink a cup of coffee, eat nettable, hang out.
A lot of what Taco Bell does today
is because of the Crunchwrap Supreme,
which was a pioneering menu item.
Not my personal favorite, but it was like the
first of their like weird things where they're trying stuff out. A sour cream
has been huge. Mitch course toilets, a perennial nominee in the tournament of
champions. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. Toilets like the 12th man award. Why is
there? I'm shaken by the results still. I just got in my moment. I said
pp five layer. I didn't even say cheesy, gordita crunch. My heart is eighty five.
Hey, there you go. That that pretty cool and collected, huh?
Okay, you know what my thing with CGC is? It's not always consistent. Yeah,
I don't shut the fuck up.
Yes sir. 86, 87, 88.
You watch it smoking man, it's smoking.
See, see you're-
You're new to the Pinot Noir soft taco and you turn your back on the cheesy Gordita crunch?
You sick fuck!
This whole fucking crew is out of hand!
It's fucking ridiculous!
You're the one who's been smoking for the last two years.
You're the one who's been smoking for the last two years.
You're the one who's been smoking for the last two years.
You're the one who's been smoking for the last two years.
You're the one who's been smoking for the last two years. You're the one who's been Noir soft taco and you turn your back on the cheesy Gordita crunch? You sick fuck!
This whole fucking crew is out of hand!
It's fucking bullshit!
They know it! They know it!
Mitch always gets his way!
Well, looks like you got your fucking way this tournament!
See, this is the passion I would like to have seen.
Your way is so funny to be saying about this.
You know why that's a better item?
It's because you didn't have this passion for this
for the Baja Blast Freeze.
I know! I would have loved to...
So you like this item more. I love the cheesy
Gordita Crunch. I think it's the best item in fast food.
Wow!
The best item in fast food!
You fucking fool!
I don't know if I'd go that far. I'd like to officially second that.
Whoa! It's a great Fast food, you fucking fool! I don't know if I go that far. I'd like to officially second that.
Whoa!
Whoa!
It's a great menu item, I really like it.
I miss the Cool Ranch taco shit.
I do too.
Yeah, that was so tight.
I had pickled Doritos in Canada.
How were those?
They were awesome.
Wow.
They were really good.
Yeah, they had them in a combo with Cool Ranch.
Were they spicy or anything?
Yeah, they were a little spicy.
OK, that's fine.
They were really good.
I kept looking for more bags and I couldn't find it.
Now it feels like I'll go to Canada
and they'll be like, we don't know what you're talking about.
Pickle chips?
We haven't served those in 40 years.
Whoa!
You must be some sort of CBS's ghost.
Thank you, Thursday nights at 8.30 I think.
Mitch is at the funniest thing.
He just quietly looked at me and said, I love you.
Oh, that's so nice.
Come on, I can't let him think I'm really mad,
though I am furious. You can be mad, I can take it. I can't let them think I'm really mad, though I am furious.
You can be mad. I can take it.
I'm mad at that result. But why? Because when it comes to Heart of the Champion, it's an
easy one. I think we have the same idea.
Yeah, just to be real for a second here, we did this dumb contest called AdChad there
where we ended up having a fan who read our promos for a month. Yeah. Uh, that was our, our buddy Killian who's been Killian it, uh, he was doing,
he's been doing great. And we had him do our recaps, all munch madness.
Yeah. So the, the answer for us, I think is very easy. It's pretty simple.
Uh, that Kill Grill himself,
ad Chad Killian accepts the award for Heart of a Champion on behalf of
the winner, the Taco Bell Chihuahua.
Thanks, Doughboys.
It's been fun being a part of this year's Munch Madness.
What a great way to cap it off.
Accepting an award on behalf of the dead dog with a DVD box set instead of a trophy.
Um, on a different note, the contest said
AdShad was a paid position,
and I haven't received any money.
To keep my address.
I just ended with PayPal.
Wow!
Wow!
Congratulations, Gidget and the Taco Bell Chihuahua!
Gidget!
Wig, so we have a sour cream of the crop award?
I have one.
Yeah, please.
The potato soft taco.
That would be funny if it won at all.
I got to go with green beans.
Yeah, I got it with tempura green beans.
That would be a funnier out.
No, no, no.
It's very funny.
Ha ha ha.
I do feel like I need to mention, cause I found this out yesterday
and we were texting it on the group thread.
Oh yeah.
This is wild.
The Taco Bell Chihuahua Gidget
was involved in a lawsuit over the rights.
The lawyer in that settlement,
which garnered $42 million from Taco Bell
over the rights of the talk
about Chihuahua is the second gentleman, Kamala Harris, his husband, Doug Amah. This is all
true. It's just true. We found this out. You found this out yesterday. He's going to break
into his house and hit him with a hammer. All right.
It comes down to this.
We'll count down from three to one and say in unison our winner.
It is going to be the beefy five layer burrito or the spicy potato soft taco.
I love them both.
One of those is going to win the Dave Thomas cup.
Mitch and Gabris are holding hands.
Countdown from three to one.
And we will say what we think should win.
Three, two, one.
Beefy five layer taco.
Wait, wait, wait, I didn't hear it. Beefy five layer. Beefy five layer here what BV five layer BV five layer one BV five layer
Congratulations, the Pee-Pee Five Layer! The winner no one wanted!
Wow!
Pee-Pee Five Layer!
Pee-Pee Five Layer!
And look!
One, two, three, four, five!
Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
It was foretold by the prophecy.
Hit it, Emma!
Hit it, Emma! What the fuck?
Where did the music go?
There we go.
Yeah!
Body, body, wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body.
Wanna hurt my body, my body. Wanna hurt my body, my body. Wanna hurt my body, my body. Wanna hurt my body, my body. Wanna hurt my body destroy my body My body with some Taco Bell body
My body got a big fat body
Every doughboy wants to eat some tacos, tacos man
Crunchy shell or soft shell, you know I am a fan
Driving through the drive-thru, honk honk beep
Burritos in the morning, Gorditas when I sleep.
You know I'm gonna order a cheesy gordita crunch.
Baja blast and hot sauce.
Now that's a perfect lunch.
Yum, yum, yum, yum, breads!
Tacho, Tacho Bells!
I wanna eat some Tacho Bells!
I wanna eat some Tacho, Tacho Bells! I wanna eat some Tacho, Tacho Bells!
Yeah, we wanna eat some Tachos!
Everybody, one more time!
Tacho, Tacho Bells!
Yeah, I wanna eat some Tacho Bells!
I wanna eat some Tacho, Tacho Bells!
Oh yeah!
We wanna eat some Tachos!
Wow! Wow, that's our show! Oh, yeah. We want to eat some tacos. Wow.
Wow, that's our show.
Oh, my god.
Gabriel, Betsy, Bono, Dr. Kowalik,
Kowalik.
Lenneth Ginsburg, Emma Namelia,
The Cowlers.
The Boys of the Christmas, and Del Mac Struggerman
for the Swordman Mike Mitchell.
I'm Mr. Lager.
Thank you, Homer. Happyer. Thank you, Homer.
Happy eating!
Thank you, guys!
Thank you!
Wow. That was a HeadGum Podcast.