Doughboys - Oakberry with Johnny TV and Taya Valkyrie
Episode Date: April 4, 2024Johnny TV (@johnhennigan) and Taya Valkyrie (@thetayavalkyrie) of AEW's Johnny Loves Taya joins the 'boys to talk Canadian eats, wing spiciness, and acai bowls before a review of Oakberry. Pl...us, another edition of A Single Item Must Be Banished.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at kinshipgoods.com/doughboysAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://www.britannica.com/place/Brazil/Historyhttps://medium.com/@reunidasbrazil/the-history-of-brazilian-coffee-f9f06122d341https://www.datapandas.org/ranking/coffee-production-by-countryhttps://smoof.co/blogs/news/acai-bowl-originhttps://sites.bu.edu/gastronomyblog/2020/04/28/the-murky-marketing-of-superfoods-the-case-of-acai/https://www.bbc.com/news/world-latin-america-47658080https://apnews.com/article/brazil-bolsonaro-ineligible-court-ruling-vote-99dee0fe4b529019ccbb65c9636a9045https://www.theguardian.com/world/2019/nov/08/lula-brazil-released-prison-supreme-court-rulinghttps://www.qsrmagazine.com/story/oakberry-puts-acai-on-the-map-worldwide/https://www.franchisetimes.com/franchise_news/brazilian-acai-brand-oakberry-accelerates-u-s-franchise-expansion/article_fbf04c04-f402-11ed-8558-1b57ac46a69f.htmlhttps://www.oakberry.com/faqSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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Thank you for presenting Munch Madness.
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Coffee President.
No, I don't mean Starbucks CEO and humiliated presidential also ran Howard Schultz.
Coffee president refers to a series of Brazilian chief executives during the nation's transition
from colonial rule to self-governance in the 19th and 20th centuries, when the national
economy was heavily reliant on coffee exports.
That financial reality remains the case today in the world's fifth-largest country by
population.
Although here in America, Colombia or Ethiopia are more commonly used national monikers to
market the mean caffeine bean, Brazil is still the global leader in the coffee trade, nearly
doubling the output of second-place Vietnam.
But uninterestingly, the coffee plant is not native to the soccer powerhouse, having been
imported in the 18th century from its homeland in East Africa.
Though there's an increasingly popular fruit that is native to Brazil, the açaí berry
which indigenous Amazonians have harvested and consumed for generations.
Commonly pureed and frozen due to its delicate nature, Brazil began exporting açaí in earnest
in the 1990s, and in the 2000s, boosted by pseudoscientific health hype
and later social media influencers,
the so-called superfood became a trend
among health-conscious Americans.
In 2016, a Brazilian entrepreneur opened an açaí bowl
and smoothie concept that eyed global expansion
from the get-go.
And during the consecutive administrations
of three controversial Brazilian non-coffee presidents,
corrupt and indicted Tamer, far-right authoritarian Bolsonaro, and jailed leftist
Lula, the brand has grown exponentially to over 600 franchises with hopes for 1,000 by
the end of 2024.
So in Brazil, coffee has stayed hot, but acai is acai-sending.
This week on Doughboys, Oak Berry.
Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about chain restaurants. I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host,
Mr. Baja Blasts Into the Shower, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.
Jesus Christ.
Baja Blasts Into the Shower.
By the way, Jemmy was yawning before the episode even started.
Yeah, kind of a mood setter.
We're not doing good.
We're not doing good, guys.
We're talking about hernits in the shower.
She wasn't into it. Just got a little bit of a little bit of a, kind of a mood setter. We're not doing good. Talking about hernits in the shower.
She wasn't into it.
Just got out of Dune too.
Had a lot of time to think about this roast during the movie from TG,
roastedbirdfuck.com.
There you go.
I think, I think one final Taco Bell roast to bid goodbye to the
tournament of champions.
It's in our rear view.
We're finally done with for whom the bell does.
Munch Bandits 2024, The Tournament of Champions 9,
Doe, Kiiro, Taco Bell.
People are calling it the dynasty screw job.
Why, because you know this?
Cause Cheesy Gordita Crunch lost out
to B5 Layer Burrito?
Yes.
Wow.
And also-
I think it's a great outcome.
Wait, I actually have beef about this.
Susser never said Jemmy could come back in the studio.
How did the Double Decker Taco do?
Here's the thing.
That's a great question.
Because Taco Bell.
I always hit those underages.
I love the Double Ducker taco.
They keep Taco Bell, took it off of their menu.
Yes, it's the double stack taco right now.
And so in between the two tacos, there's no beans.
And so it's dry.
It's not the same thing.
You can't have a dry taco.
No, no.
No one wants a dry taco. No one no. No one wants a dry taco.
No one wants a dry taco.
No one wants to try to be a dry guy.
Wiger's about to make a joke about me in some way,
I feel like.
I think the subtext was clear.
Oh, it was the subtext.
Ha ha ha.
Wigs, you, by the way, you cursed the cheesy Gordy
to crunch, much like you cursed Hillary Clinton in the 2016 election.
Because I said it was going to win?
You said it was gonna win.
Yeah.
It did not win.
Wow.
Here's my question to you.
I thought it was the heavy favorite.
What about the better choice?
If you go, I was the heavy favorite of the show.
Uh, if you go-
Shots fired at Gabris.
Yeah.
Oh shit, pretty heavy too.
If you review every podcast we've done,
how many times have you mentioned
loving the cheesy gordita crunch?
Multiple times.
Number of times, yeah.
How many times have you brought up the potato soft taco?
Not nearly as much.
But you know what, in the context of this tournament,
I think it really shined.
And I think it was a great outcome.
Mano and Betsy are fucking Judas's.
Two Judas's.
Mano and Betsy with me voted for the spicy potato soft taco over the cheesy gordita crunch, I stand by that. I think it'd a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one.
I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a good one. I think that's a we've had Taco Time, and we had one bad version of Taco Time, right?
So there's a few different Taco Times.
It's like a split brand.
But we had the bad one, the Pacific Northwest.
I don't know if the Canadian one is any better.
It's probably the same.
OK.
That is the Pacific Northwest.
Yeah, that's where I'm from.
Yes.
But there is a brand divide between A&W America
and A&W Canada.
Oh my gosh.
A&W Canada is so much better.
A&W Canada is amazing.
The one in the US, not so much.
No.
It's gross.
Gross, gross.
Root beer's always flat there.
Yep.
The bummer.
Gross.
Yeah.
I'm going to be in Canada this year for a while.
So I'm excited to eat some.
Go get some like a teen burger combo with poutine
instead of regular fries.
No, poutine.
Calm down.
You had Weigert's team.
You're from LA.
All right.
Poutine has mayonnaise.
Mayonnaise is gross.
There's no mayonnaise is gross.
There's no mayonnaise in it.
It looks like it.
Cheese, curds.
White creamy stuff, it looks, anyway.
I don't like mayo, I don't like white creamy stuff
unless it's ice cream.
It's getting out of hand.
This is actually perfect for this podcast.
Dry tacos and white creamy stuff.
That's great.
We're doing great, guys.
Welcome to the show.
Oh, wait.
I can do a dry...
Wait, what were you going to do?
I was just going to shout out that we had our bracket challenge during the tournament.
One entrant, an anonymous entrant, we do not have their names, so please identify yourself
to the Doughboyz Gmail.
Correctly guessed both the beefy five-layer burrito as the winner and Gidget the Taco Bell Chihuahua
as the heart of a champion.
When you ever get me.
We're asking them to reveal themselves to us.
We don't know who it is.
Yeah, we wanna dox them.
All right.
We're not gonna say who they are,
however they wanna identify themselves.
Wait, they want anonymously?
They just put in an email.
I don't wanna just read off their email here.
Oh, we're gonna do it.
So like send it to us.
Tell us.
Let us know how you'd like to be identified
so we can graduate you properly.
But good on them.
And they actually won a Doxen?
Yeah.
Did you say that?
No.
No, I said a one over Jemmy,
the other dog in the studio.
Oh, okay.
I thought the Doxen was the, nevermind.
I'm glad that you didn't do that. That was weird.
Yes.
The word a dog.
One, two, Judas who betrayed me.
I was trying to, I was trying to do two Judases,
like two princes. Two princes.
Yeah.
I mean, it didn't work out great.
I tried it.
I see what you're going for.
That's kind of tough, yeah.
By the way, Bugmane just texted me while I,
we have a friend, main Yes, and he said
Easter's coming up boys. That's what he just texted me. That's it. Love it. I
Have a thing
He's that
Tell this guy all right tell this guy this like where do the eggs come from?
Hmm cuz the bunny's legs. No, they're thieves they steal the eggs and they? Hmm? Because the bunnies lay eggs? No. They're thieves.
They steal the eggs and they don't give them as gifts.
They hide them.
Bugman will come up with-
They hide the eggs from kids.
That's a dick move.
Bugman will come up with some horrible way
where the eggs came up from, I'm sure.
He stole, like, a dancing bunny?
Maybe we're friends.
I don't know what his stance is on bunnies.
We should figure out what Bugman's stance on bunnies are.
Yeah, I have a very specific opinion about bunnies.
How's Jemmy feel about bunnies?
I imagine Pro likes chasing them.
She loves chasing them.
I've actually seen her yeet herself
over a six foot fence after a bunny.
Wow.
Whoa.
She took off running and flew over the fence
to chase a bunny.
And that rocks.
Yeah.
That is amazing.
Okay.
She wants to kill it, I'm guessing, right?
Yeah, she wants to eat it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Our Pomeranians just bark at stuff and don't.
You have two very sweet Pomeranian dogs.
They're like alarm dogs.
They are very much like alarm dogs.
They got used to me almost by the end of the last time
I was over, just recently.
They stopped barking at me a little bit, which is good.
And then Bowie for like, he's like goldfish brain, right?
So it's like he like turns away and then he's like,
who are you?
Like all over again.
I like that if you hold him, he's fine.
He won't be mad at you either if you hold him.
But if not, he's just barking right in your face.
If you walk into the house, he barks.
Or if you leave, he barks.
Yeah.
He just wants everyone to sit on the couch.
He's like, who are you?
And then he meets you and he's like, don't leave.
Stay forever.
You live here now.
But you gotta play a drop so I can properly introduce you to the drop.
How about I hit him with a drop?
Drop.
Just a minute.
In affairs, Robotnik is up to his usual no good!
Don't waste your time trying to get away, Sonic.
The metal keys on your truck shoes
are being pulled by my magnetic medlematic,
which will turn you into hot salad!
Yum, yum, yum!
Hehehehehe. Timely Sonic the Hedgehog drop with the announcement
of the IHOP Sonic the Hedgehog menu.
That's true.
Yeah.
We may cover at some point in this podcast,
although I gotta say,
a little disappointed because it doesn't seem like
any of these are new menu items.
It just seems like they're rebranded menu items.
This, this,
like you talked about how the Sonic's Blue Blur special
is actually just their blueberry,
double blueberry pancakes.
Is that renaming pancakes?
And then Knuckles chicken sandwiches,
the chicken sandwich they already have on their menu.
Same issue.
Lame.
The Tails, two by two by two, two pancakes, two eggs,
any style, two strips of bacon.
IHOP already has that shit.
Why are you crediting it to Tails?
If I worked in an IHOP restaurant
and I was listening or watching this right now,
seeing you, I'd be terrified.
You're bad.
You're bad.
One day.
You're one day.
Show up at 3 AM.
24 hour IHOP.
We had a bunch of Doughboyz fans pulling a January 6 IHOP.
Now you're starting.
This is how it starts.
This email, the body of the email says, well, it's Sonic Hot Salad Drop.
The body says, attached, Chris Finke.
Wow, thanks Finke.
Good job Finke.
Good job FinkeDrops at BirdFuck.com.
Hot Salad Drop.
Yeah, don't think too hard about it.
Yeah.
It's stupid, Weiger likes hot salad.
I don't like hot salad.
Hot salad.
It's not true.
But you do like a grilled romaine salad, you said.
I have had a grilled romaine salad.
It was quite pleasant, yeah.
But I don't like hot salad as a default.
OK, fair.
I don't believe you.
What is happening?
Well, hot salad, yeah.
That question's going to come up in your head
a lot throughout this episode.
Really evaluating my choices right now. Ha ha ha!
Whenever you say food and then drop,
but just, nevermind, go ahead.
Our guest today from AEW,
you can watch their show Johnny Loves Taya
on the AEW YouTube.
New episodes every Wednesday, JohnnyTV and Taya Valkyrie.
Thanks so much for being here, Johnny Taya.
What a treat.
Aw, thank you for having us.
Two of the coolest guests we've ever had in the studio. That's true.
But also, it's not really a compliment.
It's not hard.
The old Howard Fickle line, these guests
are among the very coolest guests
that we've ever had in the studio.
Wait a minute, two weeks ago, we had Susser and Kowalik
both on an episode, so.
Oh, never mind, I take it back.
Among the very coolest guests.
Yeah, yeah.
So, you would never say this is the best.
This is among the very best.
We're thrilled to have you, both big fans,
and we're talking earlier, you're from Vancouver.
Victoria.
Victoria, I apologize.
Yes, I strayed, Wags.
Okay, Victoria, British Columbia.
And are there any, we already talked about A&W Canada,
which I was gonna ask about,
but are there any other like Canadian chains
that really tickle your fancy?
Yes, what other chains tickle your fancy?
Not a normal way to say that?
Or what towns are there that sound fake?
Like there's Chimaynus, Nanaimo,
a bunch of towns on like Vancouver Island
that I thought were just fake.
He literally argues with me every time he goes,
Parkesville's not a real spot.
That's stupid.
Nanaimo's.
Oh my gosh.
It turns out that they're real
and there's Nanaimo bars, or Nanaimo is no joke.
Have you ever had one of those?
No.
I'll bring you some next time.
What is it?
From Canada.
It's like the size of a brownie, but it's a Nanaimo bar,
and it has like nougatie and then like cream
and then chocolate on top.
I'm on board.
That's fantastic.
It was very good.
I was skeptical.
Yeah, those are one of Canada's top, top up there.
Wow.
Desserts and delight.
Also, I feel like we've heard of a lot of stuff.
I've never, I don't think we've ever talked about it.
No, we've been shipped a lot of Canadian snacks,
but not that specifically. I can't recall. All right, I'll put in a request with my mother, and she'll bring you of a lot of, I've never, I don't think we've ever talked about it. No, we've been shipped a lot of Canadian snacks, but not that specifically, I can't recall.
All right, I'll put in a request with my mother
and she'll bring you guys a slab of Nanaimo bars to review.
So we talked about A&W before, wait, did we do, was that?
A&W Canada, yeah.
A&W Canada, yeah, A&W Canada, but what other?
Taco Time we were talking about.
Taco Time, I mean, they were all my top places I went to
and I was in junior high, walked them all, you know, my top places I went to
and I was in junior high, walked them all,
get those, you know, McDonald's,
the standard issue kind of stuff.
But-
What's the difference in McDonald's?
Was there poutine in the McDonald's basically?
There's no poutine at McDonald's.
I always just had it at A&W, you know.
Right, got it.
You know, 21 year old me leaving the bar,
going through the drive through with my friends in a cab
and getting the teen burger combo with p team. That's those Jersey Shore.
Listen, I had some fashion choices. Fashion choices were made.
Christian Adagé had already... Canadian Jersey Shore, basically.
Yeah, it was... Sounds like a bad TV sketch in a way.
It was up there. I know Jack Astor's.
That's the Canadian thing, right?
Or is that everywhere?
I don't know.
Jack Astors?
Jack Astors.
Oh, I thought it was a Canadian Jackass spin-off.
It's got a key.
Jack Astors?
It does sound like it could be.
It's T-O-R-S, Jack Astors.
Jack Astors.
Is that a chain?
I feel like that was like a pub kind of. Okay. Oh.
It's like a tea chair for a reason.
Like a bar, yeah, like a bar restaurant kind of thing.
Right, right, right.
That's not where we went.
I remember we went to that one kind of, no.
It was not a chain.
Oh, and also that was in,
what the hell is that place that we went to?
Saskatoon.
Saskatoon.
Oh, Saskatoon Saskatchewan.
And we were in Saskatoon.
Yeah, we've been to, we've done Doughboy's Live
in Canada twice, or I'm sorry, three times,
twice in Vancouver and once in Saskatoon. And when we told- We've never been to, we've done Doughboys live in Canada twice, or I'm sorry, three times, twice in Vancouver and once in Saskatoon.
And when we told-
We've never been to Toronto?
We've never been to Toronto.
You guys gotta go to Calgary.
You skipped Calgary, Toronto, Longfield for Saskatoon.
We got to Saskatoon.
Yeah, like it's a choice.
Interesting, yeah.
There was a great festival up there, Winterruption, and they invited us specifically, and we went
up there and had a weird time.
It's cold and it's very barren.
So I will make a request for you guys to do,
especially if you want to try some Canadian snacks,
is going to Calgary during Stampede
and they have 10 days of rodeo and parties.
Wow.
So it's like a fairground as well as the rodeo and parties
and nightclubs and pancake breakfasts
with beer and whiskey at like nine in the morning.
Oh, that sounds fun. For 10 days straight.
You need to... We gotta introduce you to Wags a little bit more.
This is past day. He's knocking on people.
This is past day. Bush was playing in his street mall parking lot.
Well it's got stick like music.
I mean this sounds like a blast to me. They have deep fried Oreos, deep fried little, you know, stampede donuts.
I love it. And it beats when we went to Saskatoon, getting a warning about walking home alone
and freezing to death.
It sounds way better than that.
And this is during the summer.
Oh, that's great.
And it's during the summer.
That sounds fun.
July.
I'd be into the rodeo.
And also, the pancake breakfast.
Oh, yeah.
You kidding me?
The problem would be getting this guy up in time.
You wouldn't want to get up at 9 AM pancake breakfast.
I will go to the pancake breakfast with you.
We'll see.
You can just take a nap afterwards.
I'll fucking ride your ass around the rodeo
I don't trust the fake bulls in Canada for the record
There's a whole story behind this that you get the tag and tell us you want the what the fake bulls We can't go bulls. Oh the mechanical bull
fell off of yeah
When you fell off a... Yeah!
You always fall off the bowl and you count on the padding.
The padding was not blown up and John took a back bump on the floor.
It threw my back out. It was like the worst bump that I've taken almost ever.
Wow!
23 years of wrestling.
It was right before New Year's.
I couldn't walk.
I had to sit at New Year's awkwardly.
Calgary chiropractors. It was great.
And you have taken quite a... Yeah, thank you. I couldn't walk and I had to like save a few years like all awkwardly. Calgary Chiropractors. It was great.
That's yeah, and you were you have taken quite a you've taken yeah, they have a lot of bumps
I figured out a little padding, but then they just bottomed out and like
Hit my bag. Oh, no, we didn't blow the thing up. Also they shotgun wine coolers there in the basement
This does sound like something I'd be up for. It was it was very interesting like if I'm up for the pancake breakfast you got to be up for the wine cooler
I mean like in a wine cooler. I've never even heard of that
Coolers then take a bump off a bowl and
Wine coolers are one of those things that I feel like have been completely replaced by like the hard sell
I was gonna say like a white. Yeah. Yeah. I look I don't even remember where you'd get a wine cooler anymore.
They must find them there.
They're from Calgary.
They still have Zimas, they have all the stuff.
Did you guys have Revs?
Do you remember those?
Revs. Revs.
Do you remember Revs?
No, I don't think so.
They were like toxic goo green colored
and bright neon blue.
This sounds right in my alley.
And they were, I don't, yeah, maybe it's a Canadian cooler thing, but people used to
drink them like you'd have three cups with three friends and you pour them out and everyone
chugs it as fast as they can like a fly.
Do you know what they sound like?
It sounds like a, are they mad dog?
Remember mad, like a, is that what they're called?
What mad dog 2020?
2020s.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's, that's. Fortified wine, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, that's- The fortified wine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's, and they were, they could be
pretty bright colored too, right?
Yeah, like they're neon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's probably not good for your gut.
Yes, yes, yeah.
Oh, for sure.
But it does sound fun, I mean.
It sounds like a headache.
We had Mad Dogs.
Also like cider, back in the day,
the toxic stuff or schnapps, peach schnapps.
Oh, sure.
I shouldn't talk about 16 year old drinking, but that's what we got into.
Well, I feel like that era was a lot of like really shitty beer, like the cheapest beer you could get.
And then also-
Mickey's malt liquor.
Yeah, Mickey's fine malt liquor, which I was drinking in my 20s.
And then also, yeah, rough stuff.
And then the other one-
This 7-Eleven guy called him Mickey Man.
He started calling me Mickey Man at the time, yeah.
Wow.
I was getting him too frequently.
Nickname and all.
Yeah.
That was kind of like a first, like, you know, warn,
I was like, I gotta stop doing this.
I'll just call it a badge of honor.
Hey, Mickey Man.
The only thing I remember is a lot of like coconut rum.
Well, Malibu.
Malibu, yeah.
Yeah.
I'm like, in Calgary, you can drink,
like the legal drinking age limit is 18.
Wow.
So everybody is like, sugar!
Like sugar, sugar, sugar.
And also probably better.
I mean, it probably works better than it does here.
It's one of those things where it like,
it makes sense, but also I think what it does
to highway fatality rates is so like evident.
Like, you know, that they just like, they've raised the age because it lowers drunk driving a grim topic
Like usually when we go to a restaurant we both order drinks and
The server will always give her this big fruity pina colada and me
The server will always give her this big fruity pina colada and me the dry martini or the glass of wine.
And then we have the switch.
I have the same thing happen all the time, yeah.
Like sweet fruity drinks.
Yeah, no, for sure.
That happens all the time with me and Natalie
is that she will have like,
hey, you got the whiskey old fashioned
and I've got the chocolate choo-choo and then like, yeah,
but they'll, they'll give a little umbrella and a marshmallow
on top and they're giving that to her.
They're, they're, they're, they're being very gender
normative in their drink assign.
Yep.
We'll have to switch or we'll tell the server sometimes.
How's that chocolate choo-choo?
Good as hell.
You love it.
Sounds like something my mum would give me.
I like it.
She, she called me today. Well, she calls me every day. Delicious. I haven't even had one. Sounds like something my mum would give me. I like it.
She calls me every day.
She wakes me up.
She's my alarm.
So she called me today.
Michael, time to wake up.
The chocolate choo-choo is pulling into the station.
It's 11.45.
Choo-choo.
Can I ask a question about food and wrestling? Because Mitch and I experienced AEW catering firsthand.
But we did not have to work that night.
And I think a big thing you and I experienced, Mitch, is we just did a show this past week.
We're having tummy trouble.
We got to get up there.
But all we got to do is talk into a microphone. Like, what are...
I'm just curious, like, what is your pre-show meal regimen
and your pre-match meal regimen,
and how much do you take into account
how physically active you have to be?
I personally don't eat a lot the day of, you know,
when I know I'm wrestling and stuff like that,
just because of my nerves, number one, obviously.
And also, I'm gonna be wrestling
on national television in Spandex.
For sure, yeah.
So I will eat very, like, I'm highly caffeinated.
And then I do more of the salad bar stuff
if I need hard-boiled egg and some salad.
And if I really need some sugar right before I wrestle,
is my new thing is a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.
Oh, that's great.
That's fun to say.
Yeah.
When we do a live show where I think it's a simple,
unless we have to eat the dog shit
we're reviewing beforehand, we will,
we'll not, I usually like won't even sometimes eat,
we'll eat after the show.
Yeah, I feel like nerves, right?
That's exactly what I do, except after the show,
like she'll walk into catering and I'll just have a
Plate full of cookies and cakes and brown. That's all that's left usually. Yeah
Starved myself all day. There's no friend left. Yeah, and then there's always you know
We when we were visiting I think me and JR were hovering hovering over the brisket for a very long time.
You've seen it, right?
There's a lot of really good food.
At the end of the night, they moved the brisket out,
and there's just a big plate of cookies and brownies.
Yeah, yeah.
We were really genuinely impressed with the food.
We thought it was really good.
Yeah.
Yeah, Colt Cabana, shout out.
Got us a shout out factor to review.
What's up, Colt?
The same day Mark Maron was there. Remember?
That's right.
And Mark Henry.
It was also Mark Maron.
It was that sad thing of we were the much less famous podcast
at that stage.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
You guys might have gotten more recognized than Mark Maron,
though.
I don't know.
Mark Henry did sit down and talk to us for a long time, both of us.
He's the best.
It was great.
Lovely conversation.
He was a big fan.
He was such a big fan that I don't even know if,
that he told me about talking to you.
Oh, no way.
Wow.
Yep.
That's incredible.
We love, I mean, it was, it made our,
he told us a great story about, he had, was it,
was it gumbo that he tried?
He had some gumbo in a restaurant, I think,
and he was not satisfied.
He was not satisfied, and then he said to them,
I'm gonna show you how to make it.
And we were saying, this sounds like a Mark Henry thing
where he just is saying it, and they're like, okay.
Let him do what he wants.
And he's like, I cooked gumbo until the sun came up.
Remember he said that at some restaurant?
Something like that, yeah.
I love that.
It was great.
I would've kicked Mark Henry out of my restaurant.
That's exactly it.
He's like, do whatever you want.
I'll be good.
He did say, yo, John, I just met that one guy.
The dude was like, never misses a meal, man.
He did.
He did.
He did.
He called. He did. He did. He said, he said, he did, he did, he did, he said, he said, he said, he
said, you look like you never miss a meal.
Yeah, he did.
Might have been his opener.
Yeah, to me, like, the, like, the, like, the biggest man in the world.
Yes.
Yeah.
And being like, hey, what's up, big guy?
It should have been a wake up call.
But yeah, we were very, the food was impressive.
What a hoot that was.
Yeah, it was great.
A hoot.
All right, John, I have an incomplete list
of your nicknames.
I'm gonna run through these.
And let me know if there are any key ones are missing,
but this is what I have for today.
Okay.
Johnny Blackcraft, Johnny Blaze, Johnny Caballero,
Johnny Elite, Johnny Fusion, Johnny Blayze, Johnny Caballero, Johnny Elite, Johnny Fusion,
Johnny Game Changer, Johnny Hardy, Johnny Impact, Johnny Mundo, Johnny Nitro, Johnny Onyx, Johnny
Progress, Johnny Spade, Johnny Superstar, Johnny TV, and perhaps for today, Johnny Podcast.
Johnny Podcast. Wow. Johnny Doughboy. Johnny Doughboy.
Now we just added June Lois. Do you want to be married to Johnny Doughboy. Ooh, see? Now we just added to the list. Do you want to be married to Johnny Doughboy?
That's a different guy.
That sounds a little different.
You're forgetting one special one.
He wrestled with me as my partner at Lucha Baboom as Johnny Valkyrie, guys.
Wow.
Definitely wanted that one.
Also been Johnny Timbits.
Oh, I like that.
I love that. I like that, too.
It is in Canada.
Oh, there's the Canadian chain from the question earlier.
Tim Hortons.
We reviewed Tim Hortons once.
We did not review it.
Oh, well, we had Tim Hortons, but we did not give him a formal review.
I think we were kind of saving it for a Toronto show.
We were eating Smokes Poutinerie that time.
Yeah, that's the probably most famous Canadian chain.
There you go.
Can't believe I forgot about it.
It feels very much like Dunkin' Donuts to me, which I like.
I actually take that back.
I actually take that back.
Yeah, like we both... Dunkin' Donuts to me. Which I like. I actually take that back. Yeah, like we both.
Let's see.
Dunkin' Donuts is my hometown donut chain.
No, listen, do you know how mad I was when I saw that they,
Dunkin' Donuts was ripping off Timbits
and calling them Munchkins?
Wow.
Wait, you were saying Timbits came before Munchkins?
Is that true?
100%.
We need such to investigate this.
Yes, we need some timeline of Timbit versus Munchkin.
Because when I saw Munchkins, I was like, I'm sorry, what?
And they were small and dry looking.
And I was like, ugh.
They're fantastic.
We were not impressed with the Dunkin' Donuts coffee either.
No, it tastes like a sugar river of sugar.
It might have just been the one.
That is kind of what it is supposed
to be, a bit of a sugar bomb.
It is like, when I was younger
I get extra cream and extra sugar and it just but I'll say a small a small black Dunkin Donuts coffee
I love it. It is like I think I got like the iced coffee and it was like those can be crazy much
It could have been at the airport Dunkin Donuts munchkins came out in 1972 Timbits came out in 1976
Well, well, well
I'm riding high
But Timbits were always more over than a munchkin. That's fair. Let me ask a question when did the Wizard of Oz come out?
19 before those munchkins, huh?
Listen, I'm going to bring you.
Look, you're dumb.
The next time we go to Canada, I'm
going to bring you back some Timbits
so you can do a side by side.
We need Timbits and we need what are the bars again?
Nanaimo bars.
Nanaimo bars and Timbits.
Wow.
My mom, Hurricane Lorraine, will be getting a text to bring thosears. Naniimo Bars and Tim Bits. Wow.
My mom, Hurricane Lorraine, will be getting a text to bring those down.
That's a cool ass name.
We call her Hurricane Lorraine.
Yeah.
She's a badass?
She's a hurricane.
She's a hurricane.
She's my mom, guys.
She's very good at bringing all the snacks, though.
That's what you want.
That's a great mom right there.
Like have you had a No Henry bar before?
Snacks and advice. Yes, I have had a O'Henry bar for sure, yeah.
Ketchup chips?
We have had ketchup chips.
Here's one thing I will say about Canadian snacks.
The Canadian chips are pretty great.
I was just hearing about some spicy pickle Doritos.
We were talking about that on the live show, wasn't it?
I think Betsy mentioned that.
Betsy was bringing those out.
Did they just come out here?
No, they're Canadian.
Oh, they're, oh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We gotta say, when we were up there just recently,
oh wait, you weren't up there, I was up there recently.
I was in Montreal not too long ago.
I got, I've come around on Ketchup Chips,
the first time I tried them I was like, these are nasty,
and then now I do like them.
And it's almost like, just like a,
like very close to a salt and vinegar chip or vinegar chip.
But the all dressed are,
Love those all dressed.
They're so good. And have you tried a Hawkins cheesy? I don't think so.
Have we had a Hawkins cheesy? I'm going to wait. I got to bing this and see if I
can recognize the packaging. Jesus Bing. They are perfect. Hurricane Lorraine shows up
with Ketchup Chicks and Hawkins Cheezys. Yes. Oh, Henry Bars. Hawkins Cheezys like
like Cheetos. We have had these Mitch. We have 100% had these. Yeah, and O'Henry bars. Oh, Hawkins Cheezys, like Cheetos.
Mitch, we have 100% had these.
Yeah, but they're like crunchier than like a puffy Cheeto puff.
When we had the Canadian chips, my thought
is that not only do I love the flavor of all dress,
but the chip itself is better.
They're just crispier.
They are better. And you know what, Wags,
I think it's fucked up that Canada's got us beat on chips.
We should be, we should.
It really should be a thing,
an American supremacy thing.
Take your money and run.
Right.
I'm a sweet guy though, I don't eat really chips at all.
Oh no, you're a sweet guy.
That's interesting.
Ice cream, cookies, cakes.
And I'm just like, give me the hottest wing.
Even the Naimo bars have to, pretty good. Yeah, yeah, cakes. And I'm just like, give me the hottest wing. Even the Nanaimo bars have to be pretty good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I didn't take you, so we were out,
when we were eating, you talked about macros,
which I think was the first time Wags and I
had ever heard that term before.
Oh yeah, I also binged that.
Yeah, yeah, you gotta make sure your macros add it.
Yeah.
But is that, being a sweetener,
is that tough with all of-
Right.
You just gotta make sure, like, say if you have an Acai bowl,
you have to have a certain amount of protein in the Acai bowl
to make sure the macros balance out.
I call it bullshit.
Yeah.
Sugar man over there.
Sometimes they go a little heavy on the sugar,
but I also am OCD about doing flips and working out.
Yeah, I mean, he doesCD about doing flips and working out.
Yeah, I mean he does work out like 75 hours a day.
Yeah, wow.
To the point where it's almost dead.
You're a night work outer, right?
You work out at night a lot.
Yeah.
Wait, really?
Yeah.
Like what time?
Like anytime, like seven to two, three a.m.
Okay, so like the evening A huge span of time
Okay, but we do have a jam at our house
Got it, got it
So like I'm drinking wine or champagne with my girlfriends watching The Bachelor
And he's behind us like doing arm curls going
What's happening?
And my girlfriends all
Like all my friends are like, aw John's Johning
Right
History and John Boy things
We have like swords and stuff, that I practice with.
Sure.
Not just weights.
Pfft.
Ha ha ha ha.
Sad but true.
Yeah.
We have swords as well.
Yeah.
Fake one.
Not as cool.
I'm not a fan of real weapons, actually.
I like the Gryffjord.
Oh, I like the, yeah.
Bokens, like the wooden swords. Oh, nice. That's cool as hell. I like the grayshaw. Oh, are they? Yeah.
Bokins, like the wooden swords.
Oh, nice.
That's cool as hell.
Yeah.
And stunt swords.
Yeah.
Wait, Taya, you just mentioned you like a spicy wing.
Like me, you're a bit of a heat seeker.
How spicy are we talking?
Okay, so my favorite wings in LA are from Rocco's.
Okay.
Wow.
There was one in, it was Hollywood and one in the Valley.
And I love the 911, the hottest ones.
Wow, you go all the way.
Oh, shit. With a big thing hottest ones. Wow. All the way.
With a big thing of ranch.
Yeah.
That's intense.
See, I like hot wings, but I will never,
I'll never go, I'll never go full hot.
We did, we just did the hot ones.
We did for a double.
It hasn't come out yet, has it?
Yeah, at upcoming Patreon episode,
we did the hot ones challenge.
We went through and did all of the hot one sauces.
And yeah, by the time I get to seven or eight,
I'm just not having fun anymore is the thing.
Even though I like spicy foods,
like I, and I can tolerate it.
I just like, I feel like at a certain point,
I start losing the flavor, but you like to go all the way.
Oh, I like to suffer a little bit, you know?
Wow.
So, I love it.
Have you messed with Howlin' Rays?
Don't even know what that is.
Howlin' Rays is in, yeah, I think you'd really,
cause they have the, they have the,
their spiciest sauce is their Howlin' sauce,
and it's really, really good.
It's a fried chicken sandwich,
and it's Nashville style.
I think they make you sign a waiver.
It's- Can't wait.
Would you, you really, I did the,
I did like the hottest version they had,
and I truly believe it's the closest I almost came to dying.
We did a Howlin' Rays episode with Kumail last year,
and we all had a pretty miserable experience
dealing with the hottest.
That was bad, but the time I ate a big...
But do you do with the ranch or the blue cheese
or some other sauce?
There's sauce you can dip it in for sure,
but the hottest one, just the next two and a half days,
I was so fucked up on the toilet.
It was horrible.
That's the main issue.
And for me these days, it's the intestinal distress
in the aftermath.
Like I can handle my tongue and throat burning in my lips,
but like, you know.
Your butt.
Your butthole.
My butt, thank you.
I didn't want to say it, but yes, my butt or butthole.
You can do a milk chug or something.
I mean, that's how it feels.
That is really what it feels like.
It feels like you wanna pour milk on your butt.
But next time you go to Rocco's,
you gotta at least try it.
All right, try the hottest ones.
The 911 there is like not as hot
as like it sounds like it is.
And like the regular hottest is good too,
but they have the best boneless wings.
They're like chunks of chicken breast.
Like they're really, really. I'm gonna appreciate best boneless wings They're like go chunks of chicken breasts like they're really
That's what I do now I do my I just go all mild that's that's all I that with my stomach
I like the I like a hotter temperature, but I can't and if you went to howl and raise I would say even go like hot
Howlin is insane.
Yeah, I think the first time I went there,
I did the step above hot.
I think there's hot plus and then Howlin'
or it's burning.
It's some other synonym for singeing or something like that.
Exactly, some shit like that.
Ring of fire.
Right, yeah, yeah.
And even that, again, I can handle a lot of heat.
That one really took me back.
It was pretty brutal.
I've been to some specific wing places,
and I'm like, hey, what's the hottest one?
And they give it to me, and I'm just like, this is bullshit.
Wow. Wow, I love it.
Yeah, I love it.
Bullshit. Have you taken any
of those wing challenges?
No, but I should go on Hot Ones and see what happens.
I would rule.
We won't.
Try me.
We're banned from the show, I believe.
People are always tweeting at Hot Ones.
They're like, get the Doughboys on.
They're like, they don't know.
They had Emma Stone on last week.
Emma Stone, Cardi B, me.
You should do it.
It would be great.
Have you had Eurustic? That's the local Hot Ones place. It's very good. No. You should do it, it would be great. Have you had Eurustic?
That's the local hot wings place, it's very good.
No.
You would like it.
Hot wings.
Very good, very good wings, yep.
Mitch, my man, tell me about your hydration style
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Why do you prefer to quench your thirst?
Great question. For me, water is the source of life. chug to sipping from your favorite glass? Why do you prefer to quench your thirst?
Great question.
For me, water is the source of life, but I just like to chug it down.
I don't love, I'm not craving water, but I know I have to drink it.
Maybe you're trying to get it over with because you don't respond to the flavor.
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Yeah.
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Wives, yeah, you're a workout guy.
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Let's, let's pivot from wings back to, uh, to sweet territory.
Uh, where do, where do y'all stand on acai and bowls slash smoothies generally?
Bullshit.
So I'm okay.
Go ahead.
Why bullshit?
Okay.
So you, you hit your workout, right? You got like what?
30, 45 minutes before your post-workout window closes.
Then you drink a protein shake.
You put protein in the SIE bowl.
You eat chicken breast.
You need carbs and protein
for the protein to be bioavailable.
We should be writing down notes.
You haven't been doing your reading on this.
Listen, in a CHI or ancai or however you say it,
I mean people can't even pronounce it.
That's true.
I'm not gonna argue that.
It's literally just ground up frozen fruit and bullshit
in a fake ass. It's glucose
and you put sugar in it and it tastes good.
No, it's not good.
We had one.
You didn't have one with peanut butter.
I don't care.
I think they're stupid.
We were, we were, we, cause now we've had quite a few
on the show.
We've had so many of these, these bold places.
A lot of them do acai and that's the,
when I was looking at phonetic pronunciation,
I saw a few different sources.
I think acai is pretty close to what it is in Portuguese.
But it's, it's. I'm gonna start using that. Is it in Portuguese if that's what it is in Portuguese. But it's a, it's-
I'm gonna start using that.
In Portuguese, if that's what it's called.
I think so, yeah, that's its origin, acai.
I have an acai bowl.
So they know.
I think an issue with a lot of these,
these juiceries and these bowl places
is they're purportedly offering some sort of health food,
but really what they're offering
is a sugar delivery system.
And so like a lot of their, their stuff they have,
it's like, I basically could go to yogurt land
and have the same amount of sugar and calories
and have maybe a better time.
But this kind of lets me have like, you know.
Bacon it. Exactly.
I feel like I'm eating something healthy
when maybe I'm not. It's like that episode
of Seinfeld, right?
Right.
Like they got the sugar free, whatever, frozen yogurt.
Then it turns out it's full of sugar.
Yeah.
As long as you know that and you have the protein added in, then it balances the macros and it's okay.
Right.
I mean, and these were supposed to be a side bowls and they came in a cup.
This is a huge problem with.
Agreed.
Yes.
This is, this is, this is, this is an Oakberry problem.
But by the way, I just wanna say,
any listeners out there, you go in,
you order an acai bowl, and you nail the pronunciation,
and the guy behind the car nods,
tell him the Doughboy's tied ya.
Tell him the Doughboy's tied ya.
Just let him know that the Doughboy's tied ya.
Let him know the Doughboy's tied ya.
Give us a little bit of credit somewhere.
And if you look up macros, and you understand what that meant,
tell him John told you.
Tell them John told you.
Tell them John heard somebody in the gym
and he just passed it along.
Our listeners are not going to be running to look up macros.
Macros and cheese.
Kind of news that we put on Instagram.
I'm going to find out how many calories, carbs,
and grams of sugar are in these acai bowls
just to make a point.
Probably not good.
Think about this.
If you have a long workout, you can stand to have like 600 calories and you're not going
to be able to absorb more than 30 or 40 grams of protein depending on your body weight.
Right.
And let's just say instead of a long workout, you had a long session playing Baldur's Gate 3.
Same principle applies.
By the way, you're talking to people who we did a Taco Bell
tournament and at the live finale on Tuesday,
after I followed my Taco Bell with Taco Bell.
You did want you to get Taco Bell.
I had Taco Bell after my Taco Bell.
One of my best friends loves Taco Bell so much
that we gave him, like him a custom Taco Bell themed
birthday cake this year.
Wow. That's the fuckin' rules.
What was it shaped like?
It was like a normal cake,
but then they had made a sugar statue of him,
and then they had the taco and the gordita crunch,
and then all this kind of taco belly,
fake hot sauces and things like that.
Oh, that rules. That rules.
Wow.
You voted against the cheese gordita crunch?
Piece of shit.
Can't buy it. She's going to crunch
Was founded in 2016 in Sao Paulo by Brazilian entrepreneur
Giorgio's friend Julis or friend goulash and I'll pronounce that has anyone ever been to Brazil I never have no No, I went to Costa Rica either. Yeah
It was really nice a lot of mosquitoes with the oceans nice. Yeah, it was really it was beautiful
They were there, you know, howler-le-monkey,
well, I saw everything down there, it was great.
The acai berry is native to Brazil,
and it offers, this chain offers acai bowls and smoothies.
The acai mixture, as Ty alluded to,
is from a frozen drink machine
because the berries are so fragile
that they're usually pureed and frozen for export.
Let's call it a Slurpee.
It basically is a Slurpee.
It's a Slurpee.
It's a Slurpee with prosin.
Stop.
What?
There are over 600 franchises of this chain
with plans for over 1,000 by year's end,
which sounds unsustainable.
And there's a location on the same block as Head Gum Studios.
How many people are actually eating these things?
That's the thing.
Of specific, just Oakberry?
Of just Oakberry, yeah.
How is it blowing up like that?
That's insane to me.
I mean, I think they just have a bunch of like
private equity and venture capital.
It's the same story as all these things.
But like, it's so many of these changes go from,
again, didn't exist in 2015.
2016, first location in Brazil,
now has plans for a thousand by the end of 2024 worldwide.
That's unsustainable.
They can't keep growing.
That's massive.
Wait, what are we talking about?
Like a hundred years?
No, this is within an eight year span.
I was gonna say, the math ain't math in there, John.
Oh yeah.
John's not math-ing.
Girl math, boy math, John math.
I was thinking about macros.
Okay, I'm with you, unsustain John mad. I was thinking about macros. Okay, I'm gonna get understandable.
Yep.
Definitely.
I mean, it's funny to me,
well, whatever.
Should we get into this place?
I mean, aside from just Oakberry, they're everywhere.
That was my thought,
that it's funny that this place is gonna take off
because we were saying there, we've had pressed juicery.
I really liked their acai bowl.
Yeah.
And there's other, but I just, it's weird.
I mean, it feels just like it's a hip spot or something.
It's very LA this.
Yes.
It does feel that way.
And I assumed it was just a standalone LA location
because this was the only one I knew.
And then I saw that there were more of them.
And I looked it up and it's like, yeah,
there's 600 of them right now.
That blew me away.
Wild.
My whole thing is I feel like Acai had its moment
like five to 10 years ago.
Doesn't it feel like this trend is kind of
on the downward side of its trajectory?
I think it's always been down.
Time to sell your stock.
You think so, yeah?
Because I think they're stupid.
She hates Acai holes and I get them all the time. I do get it in a way. I don't know. It's tricking
me to think that it's healthy. You know what? They saw. You got to put the protein in there.
You can get boosts. You can get a turmeric shot. Those are on the side though. You're
not putting that in your acai bowl. If you're going to Oakberry, you might as well get the turmeric shot.
In the inside? Not in the thing. That's what I mean though. You get it on the side. That's
different. It's a totally separate thing. Yeah. Yeah. Like you don't want coffee and water in the same cup.
This is very funny because I thought you guys would be on the same page about it because
I have to guess you guys, well for someone who had post Taco Bell Taco Bell, I thought you guys,
you guys eat healthier than us for sure.
Yes, one would assume.
But for you to be split on this is very funny.
But we always have been.
For sure, the healthiest eater between the two of us is Taya.
Okay.
We have a thing that she started-
She's the one calling them bullshit.
Called a drumstick night.
Bullshit.
Yeah, so I said, I'm like, I'm going to make drumsticks.
We'll call it Drumstick Night.
And he thought, because of his sugar brain,
that this meant that we were just having drumsticks
as in ice cream.
Yeah, oh, sure.
I came home like a 24-pack.
And he's like, yeah, Drumstick Night.
I was really excited.
In the meantime, taking all the skin off these chicken
drumsticks, seasoning them, olive meantime, like, taken all the skin off these chicken drumsticks, seasoned
them olive oil, healthy, healthy air fryer, and I'm like, here is all this healthy chicken
that I made and some veggies.
And he's like, but I thought we were having drumsticks.
I go, these are drumsticks.
That's like an elementary school kid.
Here's that.
And it was like, drumsticks.
I was like, drumstick, right?
So then we like did it.
Now it became a chicken.
And I was like, oh, I'm going to have to do it again.
And he was like, no, you're going to have to do it again.
And I was like, no, you're going to have to do it again.
And he was like, no, you're going to have to do it again. And I was like, no, you're going to have to do it again. And he was like, no, you're going to have to do it again. And I was like, no, you're going to have to do it again. And he was like, no, you're going to have to do it again. Like an elementary school kid. I know. Here's that.
It was like drumstick night.
I was like, drumstick night.
It was like queen of wine.
So then we did it.
Now it became a thing, like drumstick night.
And so it's like, I make the chicken drumsticks.
And then he goes and buys the box of the ice cream drumsticks.
Wow.
It's like the best.
So that tells you our different versions, how our brains work.
I will say that if you told Wags night drumstick Night, we would also think the ice cream.
100% be thinking the ice cream.
Do you have a favorite drumstick varietal?
Like which kind of ice cream?
Ooh, it varies.
Right now, probably like the cookie crust dipped with fudge.
You like that core?
I like the core.
I like the fudge core.
Like the fudge core?
Yeah, I like the caramel.
Oh, the caramel. Caramel core person. Favorite like the fudge core. Like the fudge core? Yeah, I like the caramel. Oh, the caramel's fine.
Caramel core person.
Favorite is always a hard one.
I like to do the Howard Finkel among my favorites,
or one of my favorites, or, you know,
instead of having to say this one.
Right.
Is that one of your, so what's your go-to sweet treat,
frozen sweet treat?
Would it be drumsticks?
Ooh, that's tough. Yeah. I'd probably say- You can'tsticks? Oof. That's tough.
I'd probably say...
Sorry, sorry.
...Fryers natural vanilla ice cream with Hershey's chocolate syrup and cut up bananas.
Wow.
No whipped cream.
I love that.
I'm a big time vanilla advocate. Vanilla is a flavor. People use vanilla as plain, but
it's an exotic bean. It's got its own distinct flavor.
Yep. And it should be treated as delicacy. It's an exotic bean. It's got its own distinct flavor. Yep.
And it should be delicious.
It's an exotic bean.
Boom.
It is.
It sounded very high in there.
Yeah, fucking Indiana Jones over there.
We're looking for the vanilla bean.
I, see, I am a big advocate
for the traditional ice cream sandwich.
Okay. I love it.
Like, the normal, cheapy one.
Are we talking Neapolitan or just vanilla?
Vanilla.
I love that.
With the special vanilla bean flavored ice cream in it.
That's a hoot.
When we first met, I took her to Gelsen's
because I heard about the ice cream sandwich thing.
The impressor?
I was mortified.
$6 ice cream sandwiches?
Those cool house?
He was trying to show off, and I was like, you're an idiot.
Those are an indulgence.
Like $6.
Yeah. Are you saying, was it Gelsen's? You're an idiot. Those are an indulgence. Like $6. Yeah.
Are you saying, was it Gelson's?
You're talking Gelson's or?
Oh, I say Gelson's.
I guess it's Gelson's.
All right, all right.
Akai.
We're talking at the same time.
Same, same.
When Mitch is giving pronunciation notes, I mean,
it's usually the other way around.
Is it Gelson's or Gelson's?
It's Gelson's.
It's Gelson's, right?
It's Gelson's, I'm pretty sure.
I don't know if it was a different place.
No, no, no, no. You're right. It's a special one in Sherman Oaks. The valley, we pronounce it like this.
I don't know why I call it Gelson's. We've said this before. We went to some PWG shows. It's true.
And it was fun for us to see all the wrestlers there who were, they were like, they were
like, they were as funny as the comedy people we saw at, like in our, in comedy clubs.
Yeah, for sure.
But also they were X-Men basically.
Like they were also so athletically gifted.
By the way, X-Men 97, pretty good.
Have you watched it yet, Wags?
I have not watched it yet, but shout out Ray Chase who plays Cyclops.
Oh, right. Yeah, yeah.
Yes, that's always the thing of just like,
and that's what dazzles me about pro wrestling
and why do I watch it with such adulation is just like,
I'm like, you need to have so much charisma and so much
presence as a performer, but also to be so physically gifted
and adept.
And that's the thing, first off, I don't have any of that,
but I certainly don't have the physical side.
Yeah, yeah, no.
Yeah, you don't got any of it.
Yeah.
You guys have plenty of the wit and the entertainment
value and the charisma.
Plenty of it, come on.
Ah.
Ah.
All right.
Thank you.
You don't have to accept the compliment.
That's kind of what you say.
But I'm guessing, just from what you guys go through on a weekly basis, do you not have to think the compliment. That's kind of what you're saying, but I'm guessing just from what you guys go through
on a weekly basis, do you not have to think about what you eat as much, or it is a thing
that you think about even more?
I mean, it seems like you do think about it all the time.
So basically put it this way, what if one day a week you knew that you were going to
stand in front of 10,000 people in your underwear and then be on live TV.
I was, you know, everything coming to my head right away.
I'm gonna get a ton of laughs.
Yeah.
But for me, it's like a motivator.
Yeah, sure.
I'm like on like a weekly, like, do the TV,
eat the cookies, then a day or two goes by
and I'm like, uh-oh, TV's coming up.
Yes, it's an endless cycle.
And then I switch to intermittent fasting
to cut and then repeat.
Damn.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But going back to what we're talking about this week's chain, neither of you would be
like, oh, if I'm going to eat healthy, I'm going to be hitting up oak berry, right?
Like this is a dessert chain.
Absolutely not.
Yeah.
No, no.
Oak berry to me could be a post-workout thing, too.
Right, sure.
Okay.
No. Yeah.
I think what, I think we're.
We're gonna have to agree to disagree on this.
What would, you were saying grilled chicken breasts
basically would be like the thing, your go-to after.
Yeah, but like we have like,
cause we order like Roebucks all the time.
Do you know what that is?
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Roebucks.
Roebucks. And like we know that I get the avocado toast Robux all the time, do you know what that is? Oh yeah, yeah. Robux, Robux. Yeah, yeah. Robux, Robux.
And like we know that I get the avocado toast
with the one egg on it, and he will get his acai bowl,
and like we are, we are, we know our lanes.
Yes, yeah.
But we are able to find places that you can, you know.
So does your love of the acai bowl
come from the sweet tooth, is that basically what it is?
It's partly that, but also like post-workout,
you can pound it faster.
It's digestible faster than food.
Right, sure.
So within like 30, 40 minutes of your workout,
you should have a smoothie in my opinion,
and then in an hour or two, food.
Got it, okay.
Whereas I would always pick having like real food
over mushed up, sugar, watery, gross stuff.
It does look like- Wasting your gains.
It looks like sludge in many ways.
Like Shrek made it.
Yes, which would be more fun.
I would love to see Shrek make it.
Delicious.
I did get Oakberry for the first time yesterday
and I went back today for the record.
I'm holding this smoothie right here.
Okay, so that's the one I got yesterday, right?
Is that the tropical?
Yeah, it's tropical beet.
The tropical beet, yeah.
That's weird.
That one to me looks-
That's the juice, the tropical beet.
This is tropical beet, yeah.
But that's a smoothie, right?
That's a smoothie.
Yeah, so two things.
First off, you might think it's a juice
because these have a very watery consistency.
And obviously this one's melted a little bit,
but even when you get like fresh out of the machine,
it is pretty icy, pretty watery.
The second thing, I think that cup that you have there, Mitch,
which I had yesterday,
just straight up looks like a cup of marinara.
Like that does not look like something
that you'd want to suck down with a straw, right?
Can I be honest with you?
I swapped it in with some marinara.
It would probably taste better.
Or a michellada.
Oh, there you go.
Beans should be a juice, not a smoothie.
Yeah.
The taste, this is not great.
The smoothie was not great.
I'll get to my thoughts on the acai bowl,
but I was not impressed with the smoothie, Wags.
How did you feel?
So I didn't love the smoothie I had yesterday.
I mean, it was fine, but it was not the sort of thing,
like I would go back there and again,
the other element of this place is price.
I'll pay $14 for one of these.
This one that I'm having today,
which is one of the, this is their hydration smoothie,
and this is more coconut based,
although it has a similar sort of hue to it.
I think it's a little bit more drinkable,
but again, just not a thing that I would,
I feel like is worth the price point.
I feel like in all the smoothies we drank on the show,
this is in the bottom tier.
It's-
Yeah, which it shouldn't be for a newer concept.
For a price, yeah.
It's expensive.
Yeah.
Like I'd rather get Robex.
Oh, for sure.
Robex is great.
Robex is good.
The acai bowl, I liked.
So your acai bowl today?
The acai bowl I had from Oakberry was good.
But I can't say it was like you have to go to Oakberry
for that acai bowl.
Sure, yeah.
And so what acai bowl did you get?
Was it the original that you got?
I just ate two real fast.
Because he ate mine because I didn't want to finish it.
One original and one crunchy.
Crunchy and an original.
I went with the, we got the original, right Emma?
Yes.
I had the original and I added strawberry to it.
Yep.
Here's my thought right off the bat.
Yeah. There is maybe one piece of strawberry diced up on it.
And it was like one whole strawberry cut up.
And that was it.
And and that and it when you when we got pressed
juicery like say what you want about that place.
But there was a ton of fruit in that in that acai bowl.
Right. Here I like pressed juicery.
I like pressed a lot.
And this and I was this is that's where I was comparing it to and
This one had one chopped up strawberry. I chopped up maybe like five pieces of banana and
That was it and for what it cost fifteen dollars sixteen dollars
$200
$200 it was you guys Casey me Amelia and Anya, but it was $200, yeah.
That's insane.
I can't believe we can't pay Amelia this much.
They say sometimes about McDonald's is they might sell the most cheeseburgers, but they
might not make the best cheeseburgers.
But you know what?
But they're also like a dollar.
I know.
They might have a lot of Oakberry,
except it's overpriced.
Yeah.
I feel like McDonald's may be, comparatively, I
think McDonald's is knocking out of the park.
Well, McDonald's is way cheaper.
I would take a McChicken or that any day.
100%.
Yes.
If you spend $14 at McDonald's, you're
feeding a family of what, like, seven?
Oh.
It is crazy that the prices have gone up even at McDonald's.
Because we live in Los Angeles where everything is so expensive.
Yes, yes.
I think that's a big part of it.
Yeah.
Sucks.
But that $200 for what we got is absurd.
That's ridiculous.
That's robbery.
It's crazy.
Probably the only place more expensive would be Arrow 1.
I was just going to say Arrow 1.
Like, don't they have like $30 smoothies or something there?
They do. They do.
Yeah.
And the Haley Bieber.
The Haley Bieber, exactly.
But if I was going to...
They look like clouds though.
They look so...
They do.
They really look...
It's really pretty.
Wait, have you had Arowan?
Oh yeah.
What do you get there?
I got specifically the one that looks like a cloud.
Okay.
And then I was disappointed cause it didn't taste good.
Yeah.
He was trying to have an influencer moment.
You know, little equinox, little Eriwan.
Then I went back to my usual peanut butter protein situation.
Right, right.
I get really skittish about,
and I just don't know the health benefits of it,
but when something has added collagen,
and that's an option, you can add collagen to your equipment.
Does that help?
Oh, big time.
Okay. What does collagen do? Isn't collagen a... How do you can add collagen to your okra. Does that help? Is that good? Oh, big time.
I like it, yeah.
What does collagen do?
Isn't collagen a, well.
How do you not know collagen?
Sorry.
We're idiots.
I know what it is, but I don't know what it does nutritionally
if you're gonna like eat, ingest it, you know?
So it's really good for your hair and your skin.
All right hair.
And your joints.
And your nails.
Right, yeah.
It's a type of protein.
You should be having like collagen every day pretty much
And you can buy collagen powder. That's absolutely like flavorless that you can knock it yet
I can't tell you what I thought collagen was
But you can put in your coffee you can put it in anything. What did you think college it was immediately?
I thought it was the stuff that's in
Immediately I thought it was the stuff that's in boob implants. Yeah, I thought it was silicone.
Someone get me out of here.
Oh, you can't inject it. Okay, alright.
It's like your lips and stuff. I don't think your tits, but...
It's okay.
I'm sorry.
They can do different treatments that stimulate the collagen
growth in your skin, in your face,
or put things like that to help with re-
Got it, got it, got it.
As you get older, your body creates less collagen,
so you want to keep the collagen up.
All right, yeah, no, that sounds, I get it.
Side's lesson of the day.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
I didn't realize it was a thing.
The boobs aren't collagen.
Yeah.
Wait, what's that?
They're not made of collagen. Boobs are not made of collagen. Yeah. Wait, what's that? They're not made of collagen.
Boobs are not made of collagen.
They used to be saline.
They are definitely not made of collagen.
And now are silicone.
It used to be the case when they were saline
that if you were stranded in the desert,
you could probably poke one and like,
sit out for a couple of extra days.
But not the case anymore. That's John's plan for the end of the world, everyone. I'm sure you don't know too much about collagen either.
No, I mean, like as far as it being a nutritional supplement,
like that's not a thing I've ever like dallied with.
I've seen it about,
but it was like, I just don't know what its properties.
Yeah, and they have so many different
like really good products now.
Like I said, like flavorless,
you can put it in your coffee,
you can put it in your soup,
you can put it in your smoothie,
you can like do whatever.
It's not like a huge scoop either. Yeah, they're smaller. It's just like a little bit. A little bit, you can put it in your coffee, you can put it in your soup, you can put it in your smoothie, you can like do whatever. It's not like a huge scoop either.
Yeah, they're smaller.
Just like a little bit.
A little bit, okay.
Got it, so that is one thing you can't get here.
I was just hearing today,
you shouldn't shampoo your hair too often.
I'm getting hair treatment.
You should be taking collagen every day.
Yes.
Yeah, shit.
They take out my blood and then they're stabbing my scalp
where I need my hair to grow.
Like the PRP, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I, I...
Like a vampire facial for your scalp.
That's kind of what, that is what's, it is crazy.
No, I've had that before too.
Like, I went to Columbia and got like stem cells
and then they'd spin with the PRP and stick your head.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm going a little bit bald on top, but I shampoo like twice a day.
I kind of wanted to see if I could grow my hair down to...
Yeah, right, right, right.
Like you think about your 20-year-old hairline,
like how low it must have been.
It was probably like here for me.
You think it was right above your eyebrows?
I don't know.
I was gonna say like an inch above.
I don't know, I just,
for some reason thought it would be like a cool goal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I love that.
Different, at least.
I gotta stop shampooing.
Johnny Airline. You wear... Dry shampoo, folks. Dry shampoo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, I love that. I I friend at least I gotta stop shampooing on the airline you you
You were a shampoo folks dry shit. I shampoo
Okay, so that when you don't want to wash your hair
And if you feel like you were sweating or whatever you can put some dry shampoo and brush it through this guy's where to shower
I'm teaching you all collagen
Dissertation about this. Long dissertation about this.
I'm going to dry shampoo today.
When I asked Josh to give me yellow hair, both of you guys read me the riot act about
how I don't take care of my hair correctly.
Oh my God, it's horrible.
Yeah.
Your hair looks great.
Because I was-
Your hair does look great.
But yes, I recently, because I used to be a shampoo every shower, and then I was reading
in the recent past, like in the past couple of years,
that you're not supposed to wash your hair that frequently.
So yeah, I have a shower cap.
Now it was better when I had longer hair.
Now it has less purpose,
but it's very useful in terms of not getting my hair wet.
I was recently like that too,
I was in like yesterday.
The natural oil from your hair gets stripped
when you shampoo your hair. But when you put your hair in your pillow, never mind.
It's just a silk pillowcase.
The other thing Josh, it's a silk pillowcase.
We have those too.
Wait, silk pillowcase?
It doesn't absorb oil so your oil stays on your scalp where you want it.
And it doesn't pull your hair like a cotton pillowcase.
Really?
I think we should just have a beauty day day. There's a lot of stuff.
I would love it.
And I'll teach you it all, everything.
We'll go get a spa day, you know?
This guy's a lot better.
Well, you don't have him out, but he gets pedicures.
I do get pedicures, yeah.
He really takes care of himself.
I would, I need something like that.
You're looking great.
Thank you, Wax.
Let's get into our bowls a little bit more.
So yesterday I got the crunchy acai bowl.
And as we talked about, as you mentioned earlier,
doesn't come in a bowl, it comes in a cup,
a plastic single use cup, which is maddening.
It's a huge strike against this place.
I want to-
You can't really come back from that.
Exactly.
I'm with you on that.
It's a lie.
Yeah.
The bowl is full of lies.
Also in general for acai bowls,
I usually like to order them without granola.
Yeah, this one comes with granola.
With chia pudding, granola, strawberries,
blueberries, and cocoa nibs.
And the chia pudding was like,
was a totally frozen like lump.
That's the thing, yeah.
I was like, what is this?
I poured yours into the drain and a huge chunk came out.
What is that?
I noticed that also.
Yeah, it was gnarly.
It didn't look appetizing, whatever it was.
No, they're not storing it properly.
And even the bowl, and more of an issue with the smoothie,
which I still can't stop drinking even though I don't like it that much,
the bowl is still watery. It's watery as hell.
Yeah.
Did you feel that, Mitch?
Yeah, 100%. I mean, I liked my bowl way more than I liked the smoothie.
But a big part is I like peanut butter.
So it's like...
Sure.
Yeah. They also have a window.
If you get in a kai bowl, a sayi bowl, you have 15 minutes maybe.
Yeah. Right.
Yeah.
But they are still pretty watery.
I think sometimes, though, you get an acai bowl that's,
I also was struggling.
An acai bowl that is too, I like to press,
but you get an ice cream headache.
It's so cold.
It freezes things up.
A brain freeze. Yeah. I feel like it's a tough thing, but it's a little watery. headache, it's so cold. It like freezes things up. A brain freeze.
Yeah, so I feel like it's a tough thing,
but it's a little watery, I agree with you, Ix.
I think it's stupid.
They might be stupid in general.
I think that they maybe are stupid.
They're not stupid in general,
like Oatberry's overrated, I guess.
I can't believe there's 600 franchises already.
Yes.
That blows my mind.
Yeah, that's insane.
It feels very of the mom
but it's crazy to me because there's already spots like this so I don't
really get it and also there's merch hanging in that store that's the thing I
noticed the most. Who's buying an oak berry like hat? I might. I'm a fan of really stupid merch. By the way, you say that in front of the guy with the Kirkland signature sweatshirt.
That's true.
But I mean, look at John's beautiful t-shirt
that he's wearing.
Johnny Loves Tyre.
Which is a t-shirt.
ShopAW.com.
I'm also in a, you can spot me in a couple of episodes.
That's right.
Spoon Man.
McCracken Star.
Literally. Series regular.
Your body had a hard time even saying recurring star for me.
Recurring star.
Nothing to do with you.
Why, I got a question for you.
You wear that shower cap, you get the pubes wet every shower?
Yeah, I mean you don't need to specifically garb it.
You don't need to garb it.
You don't need to garb it.
You don't need to garb it.
You don't need to garb it. You wear that shower cap, you get the pubes wet every shower?
Yeah, I mean, you don't need to specifically guard your pubes.
You're mind winners.
I was wondering, I was thinking about it.
You absolutely should wash those regularly.
Yeah.
That air should get washed regularly.
This is where I get it mixed up.
Don't use the dry shampoo there.
Although I-
That kind of goes without saying, right?
Yeah, that to me goes without saying,
but I did read a health thing that some guy was saying,
you actually should not wash your genitals or ass,
and I was like,
what the fuck is this Dr. Stank ass
telling me I shouldn't wash myself?
What the hell are you talking about?
Like diaper butt.
That sounds like,
that's nasty.
Did he mean like don't use soap?
They were saying, no, they were saying only use water like don't use soap? They were saying, no, they were saying like only use water.
Like don't use soap anywhere in that area.
And I'm just like, I don't know.
I feel like if a set, like I look, I have a Exuba.
So I have like a sense, I have like,
I use a Cetaphil bar soap.
It's like a sensitive skin thing.
I don't feel like I'm irritating anything down there.
Sure.
When I'm so when I'm sudsing up.
Yeah.
I mean, you know.
Yeah, I would know.
If you have a shower cap down there
And then you want to jack off it sucks
And then you should definitely The visuals in my head are not good. Depending on how... They're not good.
They're not good.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
We're sorry.
Yeah, I'm sorry too. Sorry for him.
You were thinking the same thing about the show.
Maybe I was.
The show was very bad.
We tried to warn you beforehand.
Listen, now all I'm thinking about
is the fact that it wouldn't be like a crotch shower cap.
It basically is like a diaper.
Ha ha ha.
It's basically a see-through diaper.
Yeah, it's horrible.
It's like the Sumner Redstone diaper, the rumored diaper
with a hog hole.
Oh my God.
Cause even though he was incontinent into his nineties,
he was still demanding like sex every day.
Jesus Christ.
Nasty little freak.
Make a book about him.
I did read a book about Sumner Redstone,
a man who died in a gilded cage of his own making.
Yeah, seemed to be a pretty-
You never met Sumner Redstone? I never met Sumner Redstone.
No, you never meet your heroes.
Good thing.
He's a Boston guy.
Oh, well, makes sense.
That's like when I...
I probably wouldn't want to go anywhere near him.
It stinks that bad.
It sure does.
He's wearing diapers.
Fucking horny all the time.
That's when I was at Mozza and Rupert Murdoch
was at the next day where I worked at the Simpsons.
I think I told you this.
And my mom was like, he's your boss, go say hello to him.
I was like, I'm not gonna go say hello
to Rupert Murdoch at dinner.
Fucking out of your mind.
By the way, Doughboy's finale, Munch Madness finale,
check it out on Fox Nation.
Woo, woo.
What is that, is that the app? I think it's Fox Nation, out on Fox Nation. What does that add?
Is that the app?
I think it's Fox Nation, yeah.
Fox Nation.
Marty's got a Scorsese's on there.
Oh wow, how about that?
Good company.
Let's call him Marty.
I don't know him at all.
I call him Marty.
Today I got the, so yesterday I got the crunchy one,
which I believe did, one of you got the crunchy bowl, yeah.
Shit.
It was, it was whatever.
She took two bites then I ate. It was, it was whatever.
She took two bites. Then I ate it.
I thought it was okay.
I did like it better than what I had today
because at least the granola,
which I'm not the biggest granola fan,
but it gave it some crunch, some texture.
Today I got a classic maker on with coconut,
chia pudding, honey, banana, blueberry and chia seeds.
Now a lot of their toppings, especially a lot of their stuff
that adds a texture to it are nuts.
I'm having some issues with nuts right now.
So like I had to stay away from it.
So I really didn't have anything.
He became allergic to nuts he believes.
Yeah, I think I've developed a late in life nut allergy.
How many nuts have you been eating?
I've been a lot in my lifetime.
But yeah, no, I started having reactions to it.
You don't even want to know.
Nuts in general should not be in that state of the world.
I don't think they should be, yeah.
And the chia pudding at this place seems like ice cubes.
Yeah, I mean, I think if you eat it right away,
but it's a really short window.
Like if you're getting that to go,
it's going to solidify.
So you basically had like swamp water.
I basically did.
It was just sweet goo.
And I didn't really...
Which usually we're fans of.
We love it, yeah.
I was gonna say that.
You love a sweet goo?
I like sweet goo.
I like sweet goo. We, look, the Baja Blast Free is in the most famous. But I'd rather have a Coke Slurpee, yeah. I was gonna say that. You love a sweet goo? I like sweet goo. I like sweet goo.
Look, the Baja Blast Freeze in the Munch Fandies.
But I'd rather have a Coke Slurpee,
like if I'm gonna have that in the calories.
Or a Baja Blast Freeze for that matter.
Yes, a 7-Eleven Coke Slurpee.
It's great.
Great.
I like just like straight up like baby coconuts.
Yeah.
Oh, that's fun.
Like machete those things open,
coconut water, and then like the soft baby coconut meat
with a spoon.
Sweet goo.
You have a machete?
She took it away.
There was an incident.
But now he's turned to using a giant steak knife on a cutting board, right?
And then bashing a weight on the knife to cut into the coconut.
And it always gives me anxiety that he's gonna either cut a finger off
or crack the beautiful countertops in our kitchen
with this apparatus that's happening.
So yeah, the machete was taken a long, long time ago.
It was taken away.
I know you're saying it to indicate bad judgment,
but from my standpoint, that sounds cool as hell.
Yeah.
I have a system.
There's four cuts, like tic-tac-toe.
One, two, three, four, and then you pop the top open.
And when you get it just right, you feel really cool.
Yeah.
You know, like very gross.
I had friends over the other night.
I was like, we're doing coconut opening as a trick?
Whoa.
We'd be impressed.
I didn't know the friends were coming over.
I was like, I brought five coconuts
and no one else wanted them. Yeah. If you put me and Wags in a room with a coconut, you come back and we'd be dead. I didn't know the friends were coming over. I brought five coconuts to know when I was wanted.
If you put me and Wags in a room with a coconut,
you come back and we'd be dead and the coconut wouldn't be open.
There would only be a day. We'd die of starvation in a day.
You'd just stare at it.
Hello.
We wouldn't know how to go.
Everyone could have had a coconut.
I ended up being all five of myself.
I think that's a cool party trick.
It sounds cool as hell if you ask me.
But then after the first one,
she sent me out to the backyard with the cake
to eat the rest of them.
Oh, when we did the cake fight?
Oh, I missed it then just by a little bit.
I mean, the cake is still in, the frosting's on the grass.
We had a-
Dogs keep licking it, it's bad.
We had a food fight in the-
Yeah, yeah.
In Johnny Loves Ty, the episode I was in,
where there was a big food fight and it was, it's bad. We had a food fight in the episode I was in where there was a big food fight and it was
it's disgusting. It's so much grosser than you think. I also like those you know traditional
cakes from Ralph's you know with like the super sugary oily icing like I was slippery slippery
I can't even speak it was sliding all over the patio because it like creates this like oil slick I'm like this is really high quality icing we got here. It was slippery. Sliding all over the patio because it creates this oil slick.
I'm like, this is really high quality icing we got here.
It was truly disgusting.
And you have the two dogs, which was the terrifying thing.
But so you just hose it off.
Yeah, we scrubbed that.
We cleaned the cement part.
We did a great job.
I gave you the worst high five ever, sorry.
I was like.
It also flooded under the door inside.
It did, I was told that was my fault.
But then it was all in the grass.
The problem though is like,
I don't know if you've ever tried to pick up cake off grass.
It's not really a thing.
Yeah, a couple of times.
Yeah, you know, there's been a few times
where we try to pick cake up off the grass.
You get some of the cake.
A great piece of cake, you pick it up, yeah.
The frosting will just stick.
It's like- Right, right.
Yeah, so there's like icing that's just like
kind of like trying to like go into the ground.
Yeah.
But then because it's so toxic,
the ground's even rejecting it. And the dogs keep going out there and like
finding it and licking it. A little frosting lickers. Yeah a little frosting
lickers and then they're walking up their stomachs. Oh yeah. Bowie like was so
hyper Wendy and I was like what the hell is going on yeah cuz he's going outside
licking the vanilla icing for like five minutes coming back in and running around. Wow. That exotic bean.
It's...
To your god.
Back to the exotic bean.
I think there's a thing you think of when you're younger,
like, oh, it's like to make TV or movies
and a food fight or food will be fun
and then it just is always fucking disgusting.
Oh, it's gross.
It's horrible.
Yep.
I mean, I don't know if there's anyone
who wants to get covered in cake out there.
Our listeners, probably. Maybe, but any food, really. Yeah, it's g. Yep. I mean, I don't know if there's anyone who wants to get covered in cake out there. Our listeners, probably.
Maybe, but like any food really.
Yeah.
It's gnarly.
It is.
It's rough stuff.
Very disgusting.
Yeah.
I heard that for the classic cream pie to the
face bit, which was like, you know, an old vaudeville
staple, the secret was shaving cream.
Cause if you actually use like whipped cream, you
know, that dairy is going to be pretty brutal
on your skin.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
Well, we didn't know know we didn't do that.
We did not do that.
That is a good note for the next cake fight.
Yeah.
Wiggs worked with some of those guys.
We make jokes that he's old.
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Do it.
All right, look, we gotta,
I think we gotta get to the bottom of-
Yes, we should.
Oakberry here.
We should get to our fork scores here.
I guess maybe spoon scores would be more fitting.
So here's how this will work.
We'll each go around, give a closing argument, if you will,
on this particular chain, Oakberry,
and then the scale we use is 0 to 5 forks,
but today we will do 0 to 5 spoons.
So Johnny TV to my left, your thoughts on Oakberry,
your summation, your closing argument,
and your Fork score.
Okay, I love acai bowls.
I think they're a great post workout nutrition solution.
Blah, blah.
Oakberry.
Sorry.
I was just about to say Forkz to be you.
I had this thing, I was, ugh.
I just threw it away.
And it's spoons anyway.
I'm giving Oakberry two spoons out of five.
Wow.
So you're coming at this from a place of enthusiasm
for their core product and you still are landing on 40%.
Yes.
Two out of five.
That's a pretty,
It's pretty bad.
It's quite indictment.
Yeah.
Wow.
For the price and the cup and the,
Yeah.
There's problems.
There's problems.
Two forks.
Taya, your thoughts, your forks score.
Well, I've been very vocal about my thoughts
on this product today.
A bowl in a cup, not cute.
Yeah.
The fact that it just looks like someone had runny poops in a cup.
Also not cute.
It's a lot of sugar for no reason.
And I'm not a fan, and I think it's stupid.
Overpriced as well.
So I'm giving it a negative one.
Wow!
Negative one spoon!
Negative one spoon!
Negative one.
I'm the biggest heel in the room.
This has never happened.
Negative one.
Don't make it even a handle. This has never happened. Negative one. Doe Boys Wiki even handle negative spoons.
Wow.
Negative spoons.
This is legitimately unprecedented
in the history of Doe Boys.
No one has ever given a negative 4.4 spoon.
This is great.
I love it.
Unbelievable.
Because it's literally, like, I don't
know why people would choose to eat that.
And like, it's overpriced and stupid.
And it's just a trend.
And like, find something else to eat.
Negative spoon sounds like my arch nemesis.
Or I'm the spoon man.
Negative.
Or maybe I'm negative spoon.
You're negative spoon.
There's a superhero that's a positive spoon out there.
Really got his shit together.
Negative spoon, it's dumb as shit.
OK.
Yeah, this is all tracking.
This is, wow, this is, this is, wow.
Negative spoon, yeah, should be a character for sure later.
Later. Next character on season two of Johnny Loves wow. Negative spoon. Yeah, she'll be a character for sure later. Yep. Later.
Next character on season two of Johnny Lo's Tie.
Negative spoon.
Negative spoon.
This all sucks, I mean that is me, you're right.
I am, I'm just, I don't like movies.
Just let this guy go off about Dune part two
and yeah, he got negative spoon.
Did you get the popcorn cup thing?
I did not get it.
All right.
I did, I wanted it.
I wanted to know how many spoons that one got too.
I guess that would be five spoons. take that thing in the shower with you
I got my pubes shower cap on
Damn
Let's be clear here, I think oak berry maybe sucks I I
Felt bad when I bad while we were eating it.
I feel bad shitting on this up and coming chain.
And then to hear that it's like there's 600 locations.
It's been around for a long time.
It's been around.
It feels like it's venture capitalist bullshit or whatever.
I don't know what the hell is going on.
It's been around for 100 years.
Yeah.
I think it has as much core passion as a shark tank pitch.
It's like, this is a calculated thing.
We think the market demands this,
and that's why we are trying to capitalize on this.
It's not because I actually care so much about acai bowls
and I wanna make the best version of it.
That's what it feels like to me.
It makes the world healthy.
Exactly, yeah.
Yeah, I don't think, just looking at the nutrition facts,
I don't think that they are doing that.
The macros, if you will. The macros. The macros don't add up. The macros don't add up don't think I'm just looking at you know the nutrition facts I don't think that they are doing macros if you will the macros
The macros don't add up there's no collagen. There's no bowl like you're saying the bowl. There's no collagen
No, well there's there might be college. I don't know. I'm sure what college
Added protein and collagen and all this stuff. Yeah, this would have been a $400 check. Oh
protein and collagen and all this stuff, this would have been a $400 check. Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't seem, I mean, the price point is insane.
It's not in a bowl.
It's wasteful.
Like you're saying, this is wasteful.
This is going to, Head Gum luckily has some good recycled.
Yeah, Anya's very good about that.
Yeah, they have some.
But yeah, I'm never a fan of like, if your whole thing is like, oh, we're like a healthy
place and we care about the environment,
then you have single use plastic.
It was our same issue with Goop, you know?
It's like, it's like, that's the contradiction
of your stated values.
And the taste of it was just the acai bowl,
the smoothie I thought was straight up bad.
The acai bowl was okay, but it was,
so much of it was just peanut butter.
I just was like liking like a dog.
I just liked eating peanut butter, right, Jemi?
And then so, I think I can't go higher. I just liked eating peanut butter, right, Jemmy? And then so- So he loves peanut butter.
I think I can't go higher than,
I think I'm gonna be,
I won't, I'm not gonna steal a negative spoon
because that's your thing,
but I'm gonna be hand holding clubs,
club with John here and go out two spoons, Wags.
That's what it gets from me.
Two spoons.
I wanna apologize to our guests,
first off, just in general,
but also for having to go to Oakberry.
Like we were trying to figure out something because we had a tight window to do this record to our guests, first off, just in general, but also for having to go to Oakberry.
Like we were trying to figure out something
because we had a tight window to do this record
and so it was proximal.
Exactly, it was ostensibly nutritious,
but I feel like this was a huge letdown
as an experience for all of us.
We should've gone fucking Wings.
Oh, come on.
If you were ever to return to the podcast,
what would be your dream pick for a chamber music?
We know that you're never gonna come back.
Yeah, we will.
Rocko's.
Rocko's wings. We'll go Sunday.
We'll go to a drag show, do some, you know, it'll be great.
Sounds like a blast.
Sounds like so much fun.
Rocko's over oak scary.
It's definitely, would be better than oak, Barry.
Um, I don't, I have a little bit of a,
I don't love acai to begin with.
It's fine, but it's not a thing I've ever, ever craving. I don't love Acai to begin with.
It's fine, but it's not a thing I've ever craving.
A few more things I just want to say about this concept.
First off, when I tried to download the Oakberry app
to see if the app was crap, it defaulted to the Danish app.
So there isn't a North American app.
And that again speaks to me of just how rapidly
they're expanding.
They can't control it.
They have no infrastructure.
Exactly.
Amateurs.
100%.
Don't love that. It's%. Same thing with their website. It's just like it defaults to a New York location instead of like their national website.
There's all sorts of issues with this. I felt really bad when I went there yesterday because there's just one employee working there and I know that that's just like a shitty lonely shift to be there by yourself.
It was the same today for a large order. It's just one person. That's why we put it in early. It's a bummer. They bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad like yesterday, the day before and today. Wait, really?
Yeah.
He's a main wax.
He's a mad man.
I want to punch into like, Juice Crafters.
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Where would you rank this between the three?
The worst.
Wow.
It definitely is the worst,
and I think it's one of the worst of these bowl chains,
and that's a bummer because it's right there
and I would get it if I liked it.
I would get it more often if I liked it, but I don't.
So I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go one and a half forks.
One and a half spoons rather.
You want to have the highest score of the bunch.
I mean, I was, maybe I'll just say two,
just so we're in the handhelding club.
Well, don't, I mean, if the place-
You're scared, you're scared to admit how you really feel.
No, I'll stick with one and a half.
I'll stick with one and a half.
That's good.
That's where this place lands.
Our first negative spoon or fork.
That's great.
Really?
There can only be one.
Yeah.
Did we have a club before, like the opposite
of the Golden Play Club?
Didn't we establish something?
Oh, yes.
The reverse tenant club.
Yeah, yeah, the reverse tenant club.
This one goes, and the newest entrant
of the reverse tenant club.
It all came because we're talking about the tenant.
If you took a shit in tenant and it goes backwards, we were talking about how itet if you took a shit in tenet and it goes backwards
We were talking about how it would go up your butt. Yeah, right
So there's the subjects, you know, that are spoken about on this show
It's a good concept
But it's true, right?
It's very thoughtful
It's not what I thought of when I watched tenet
So this joins the reverse tenet club
I believe the first negative,
I believe, the first negative score we've had.
It 100% is the first time we've had a negative score
from an individual.
Wow.
Oh, there you go.
That was very few of them.
That's my new name when I come on the podcast, negative one
spoon.
That's badass.
Spoon Man sucks.
You've got a cooler spoon name.
Yep.
But it means we're kind of on the same team. Spoon Man has cool music, though, right? What's that? Like, Spoon Man's, you got a cooler spoon name. Yep. But it means we're kind of on the same team.
Spoon Man has cool music though, right?
What's that?
Like Spoon Man's got good music.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's kind of where I stole it from.
Yeah, I figured.
Hey, that was our review of Oakberry.
You've perhaps seen the now-defunct one gotta-go meme.
Well, this is our original, unrelated concept,
a single item must be banished, beverage edition.
Wow. These are compiled by our associate producer, Well, this is our original unrelated concept, a single item must be banished beverage edition.
Wow.
These are compiled by our associate producer,
Amelia Moreno, who emailed as an addendum,
I will grab pics later tonight or tomorrow AM
because I'm trying to catch a screening of Dune II,
which she loved.
She loved it.
She loved it.
But she did get these images together in time for the board.
She's out of her mind also.
And we have the first one.
The first one is coffee.
So a single item must be banished.
Latte, cappuccino, espresso, or flat white?
What's a flat white?
Is that a foot?
Some toes.
That is a great question.
It looks like someone snuck some tootsies in there.
Like in kind of the like, oops, oh.
Some toes sneak into the frame?
Sorry, I put your coffee on the floor
and then put my foot in the frame.
Can't really even see that now.
I'm like, what is that?
It is, I think it's some sort of cookie or biscuit.
Apple fritter.
Oh yeah, it's probably like a fritter.
There was like a, I think it was a Madden,
like Madden 22 or 23, there was like one of the Madden games.
There was a social media post that a guy put up,
was supposed to be official for advertising the game,
it was a photograph of the game by a Christmas tree,
but then someone pointed out that in a reflection
of one of the ornaments, the guy was just naked.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
For Madden?
Yeah, for Madden, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It wasn't John Madden.
It wasn't John Madden, it was like,
whoever the social media guy had done it,
and it was the same sort of thing, it was like sneaking those feet in there. It was like Madden. It wasn't John Madden. It was like whoever the social media guy had done it. And it was the same sort of thing.
It was like sneaking those feet in there.
It was like bad PR person.
Yeah.
I gotta find what exactly happened.
That's my memory of it.
I think for me, I guess probably flat white
is the one I get the least frequently,
but like I just, as long as I got the espresso
and the latte, I'm good to go.
So either of those other two can be banished.
I need the latte. The latte stays for go. So either of those other two can be banished. I need the latte.
The latte stays for me.
That's the one I want.
Espresso, those can be fun.
I guess the flat white is the one I drank the least.
What is flat white?
That was literally my question.
Flat white is like two parts cream, two parts espresso.
It's like a British coffee type thing, I think.
Is that correct?
Kind of like a latte, but with cream instead of milk.
It's got a lot of cream.
That's gotta go.
That plus the apple fritter foot.
It's gotta go.
Flat white describes a lot of our listeners,
white flat earthers.
Next up, wait, okay, we've got a tea.
Yes, next up.
So we're getting rid of the flat white, right?
Flat white, I think.
Flat white, it's black.
Okay.
Hit the bricks.
Black tea, green tea, herbal tea or chai?
Whoo, this is hard.
Oh.
I gotta have my herbal tea just cause I have,
that's my like wind down beverage at night.
I need herbal tea too, I like herbal tea,
Wags, I'm with you.
So I gotta take that one.
I guess I probably get rid of the green tea.
This is not an easy decision for me.
Yeah.
Green tea has got so many health benefits, Wags.
Yeah.
Caffeine.
But black tea has the most caffeine.
I do, yeah, that's the thing.
If I'm gonna have a coffee substitute,
I feel like I need the black tea.
I'd maybe get rid of chai, honestly.
I mean, I like chai too, but I don't know.
I'm voting for chai to go.
I drink chai more than green tea, though.
I'll drink green tea at a restaurant sometimes,
and I'm usually, like, not stoked,
but I drink it anyway.
Sure, yeah.
I mean, we don't have to come to a consensus.
These can be individual answers.
I think we do.
Okay, fine. I don't have to come to a consensus. These can be individual answers. I think we do. OK, fine.
I still probably have to, I give the slight edge
to chai over green tea.
I'd rather keep chai.
But if we have to get rid of one.
All right, fine, I'll bend.
I'll get rid of green tea.
I'm not bending into anything.
Chai's got to go.
All right, chai goes.
Chai goes.
All right, next up.
Chai goes.
I'm not going to argue with this.
Uh, wine.
We got red wine, white wine, rosé.
Easy for me.
Or sparkling.
Get that rosé out of here.
I don't need it.
Hmm.
It's kind of a fun summer drink.
Yeah, but if you have champagne and rosé,
I would pick champagne over rosé.
Yeah, you're right.
So I'm gonna say rosé could go.
Yeah, that's fair.
All right, that, that, that, we can excise the Rose.
Next up, Amelia's calling this soft drink classics.
This is-
Seven Up, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, or Fanta, the big four sodas.
Seven Up, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, and Fanta.
Yeah, Amelia, Amelia, don't make this too hard on us.
With Pepsi, Seven Up, Dr. Pepper, and Fanta.
I'm gonna pretend these are are all diets in my head.
Diet sodas?
Do you not drink the full sugar soda?
No.
But even as someone with a sweet tooth.
Like, don't drink calories is like one of the rules.
Like, I know like the diet gives you cancer.
You drank that kibble.
Wait, what gives you cancer?
All those stuff like the artificial sweeteners
and stuff and diet sodas.
It's really bad for you.
I mean, the whole everything's bad for you. So here we are
But uh, but whatever you and live forever or get buried in a huge coffin
I think I'm not gonna live forever. Oh, and I'm gonna be buried in a huge coffin
Um, I think this one for me honestly, and I like it, but I think I'd maybe get rid of 7-Up here.
Or I mean, I don't know.
I'm getting rid of Fanta, it's gotta go.
Yeah, maybe.
7-Up is usually one of my ingredients
to make sangria with.
Okay.
7-Up is good, I mean, it is weirdly tough,
because no one wants to get rid of Dr. Pepper, right?
No. Yeah, Dr. Pepper stays. I guess you keep, I mean, is weirdly tough because no one wants to get rid of dr. Pepper, right? No, yeah, dr. Pepper stays. I guess you keep I mean in this war I guess in the scenario
These are like the four soda options. It's not like coke also exists. So what if what if I keep?
This coke and Pepsi were there Pepsi's out. Yeah, a hundred percent. Yeah Pepsi Pepsi
I guess with this particular lineup. I probably also agree with Fanta.
Um, I do like Fanta.
I like an orange soda.
Yeah, I like an orange soda.
But then I want like the orange crush.
But like once in a while.
Can I be honest with you here?
Yeah.
I think Pepsi maybe goes.
Yeah, maybe Pepsi goes.
Just like Dr.
Pepper's doing the job of like it's.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I'll go with Dr.
Pepper over Pepsi.
You, you keep Dr.
Pepper over Pepsi.
Yeah.
Yeah. Pepsi's gross. Yeah. Then again, we did have, Pepsi. You keep Dr. Pepper over Pepsi. Yeah.
Pepsi's gross.
Yeah.
But again, we did have,
Pepsi was really hitting when we had a taco ball.
We had some good taco ball fountain Pepsi.
Yeah, but fountain drinks.
Yes, fountain drinks are-
I mean, but that's a whole other discussion.
Different than the two,
different than the two two liters,
the two like 16 ounce bottles we have there
in this scenario.
I think we'll get rid of the Pepsi too later.
All right, we'll get rid of the Pepsi.
All right, that's fair. Next up new-age soft drink category
Ollipop poppy. Oh, I don't know what the fuck
Do any of them advertise on the show
Did Ollipop?
We love Ollipop
Is like the probiotic?
Yes, it is.
Yes.
No, I have not had these other ones.
Wild Wonder or Te Pache.
I haven't had any of these.
This is the stuff they sell at Erewhon probably
for 10 bucks a can.
I will say the only one I've had
with any sort of regularity is Ollipop.
They've got a few of their varietals that are pretty fun.
Their fake fruit punch is pretty good.
It's like a fake Hawaiian punch.
So I guess I'd probably keep Ollie Pop
and the rest I don't really care about.
It's just the funny thing with these,
they're like, so does that like make you shit?
And it's like, no, who wants this?
Yeah, I don't want that.
I'm like, come on, give it to me.
Like, you make, you make.
I like that.
Deep bloating, good for your gut health.
Is it all probiotics?
I like probiotics.
Yeah, it's good for your gut gut health
I think a lot of my eyes eating all that Taco Bell you should be concerned about we should be drinking we should
I don't know I think I think I was robbery the fake little draw strawberry drawings are giving me suspicious
Yeah, let's get that one wild wild wonder you're out. You're out wild wonder vanished all right next up. Yeah, oh
my You're out of here. You're out, you're out, Wild Wunder. Must be banished. All right, next up. Oh my god.
Coke varietals.
This is so fucked up.
Actually, I totally know what I'm gonna say.
Coca-Cola Classic, Diet Coke, Coke Zero, and Cherry Coke.
I know what I'm gonna say to you.
Diet Coke is gone.
Yeah, I think I'd also pick out Diet Coke.
Zero Sugar, Coke is so much better than Diet Coke.
I would say, I would get rid of Zero Sugar.
I would get rid of Coke, with Coca-Cola Classic. You get rid of zero sugar. I would get rid of coke Cool classic you get rid of coke
Wow
It's like a drink you grew up like as a child on you know yeah, are we a race you from time yes?
The longer mad man yeah, that's the rule of the game. I didn't realize that. No longer Mad Men.
Yeah, it's gone forever.
Zero sugar is so much better than Diet Coke.
I agree.
Cherry Coke, I love Cherry Coke.
I love Cherry Coke.
It's a good movie theater drink.
Us food people like Cherry Coke.
We have Cherry Dr Pepper, like vanilla Dr Pepper.
Food Nation, yeah.
Look, I think it's either coke zero or diet coke
But if you're all on diet coke diet coke's got all right, then I'll join you but I don't like it
Cuz I like coke zero better than that. Yeah, me too. That's my argument. I coke is gone. I'm sad
But diet coke is banished next up. Oh, this is
I know it's so easy for me. Go for it. La Croix is gone. Get out of here. Oh my god, really?
Yeah, liquid death. I can't even stand that I can't even look at it. LaCroix is gone. Get out of here. Oh my God, really? Liquid Death, I can't even stand that.
I can't even look at it.
Oh, we love it.
We're fans of Liquid Death.
Are they sponsored this show?
In a way.
We tried, they didn't answer us.
Well, fuck them then.
Get them out of here.
We love, we got some Liquid Death friends.
Yes, yeah.
I feel like I've seen it so many at wrestling shows.
People have these giant cartons of Liquid Death backstage.
And I'm just like, why is this?
It kind of grew on me.
I don't want to drink something that's called Liquid Death.
It kind of grew on me because it's so stupid.
Yeah.
And I like stupid stuff.
Well, you're on the Doughboy.
Paulie Mandam hooked us up with Liquid Death.
We had The Hearse in front of our show once.
We did, yes.
They've been lovely to us.
But I will say, I generally am a fan of Liquid Death.
I have Liquid Death at home, and I like the-
You had one after Munch Madness.
I did have one after Munch Madness, the Dynasty typewriter.
LeCroy for me is my pick.
That's the one I gotta go.
I love Topo Chico.
Topo Chico's great.
I definitely keep that.
You got it in a bottle.
We got Topo Chico in a bottle.
So fun.
Yeah, and then the Spindrift is another go-to for me.
Spindrift are fun.
They've almost gone into the croat category
where I don't care about them anymore, but they-
Going back to the Coke-A-Cola comparison,
if you had a glass bottle Coca-Cola,
like the Mexican Coke on the other one,
that would be the winner-winner.
Oh, yeah.
Because that's-
Good call.
Or- Perfection.
A Fountain McDonald's Coke is very good.
That's always hit.
That is-
A Fountain McDonald's Diet Coke, too. That's always hit. That is. A Fountain McDonald's Diet Coke, too.
No.
No.
I feel like we're divided here, so I'm just going to.
I'm down for La Croix.
You're down for La Croix.
La Croix has got a French name.
It was started in Minnesota by like.
You don't budge, though.
Right?
It's an American company.
Yeah, it is.
I mean, if we're going to say like this look, the liquid death, I don't like anything that
people say. It bothers me. I don't, the liquid death, I don't like anything that people think like,
it bothers me, I don't know.
That's fair.
Liquid death, I think it's like sludge
at the bottom of a coffin or something,
like it's just like, I don't like it.
It does evoke that a little bit.
Yeah, it's a little edgelord.
And so are we.
I like irony more than,
what should we name our water?
How about La Croix?
Yeah.
La Croix?
La Croix.
La Croix.
Well, what they're called La Croix.
Yeah, they're both.
But they started in Minnesota, right?
Like, you're just looking at them.
They are, they're Midwest, Midwest brand.
Whatever.
Get out of here, La Croix, you're fucked.
All right, La Croix's gone.
Liquid death, fuck you, okay.
Now we have milk and milk alternatives.
Cow's milk, almond milk, oat milk, and soy milk.
I mean, for me, I'd pick almond milk
just because, you know, again, I'm having nut issues,
but also the, I shouldn't just say I'm having nut issues.
And also, but almond milk is very ecologically wasteful
to produce, there's a lot of water that goes in to make that happen
versus oat milk or soy milk.
You've won me over.
I'm getting rid of regular milk.
Me too.
Wow.
Lactose, no boil.
I want, what if it was non-lactose milk?
No, I just don't like it.
OK.
No.
I'm an oat milk girly.
I do like oat milk.
I do lactose-free milk, and I do enjoy it.
You know what?
I'll get rid of regular milk. Why not?
I'm getting I'm not I won't I won't do that. I'm not gonna do it. Yeah, that's a that's a that's a vitamin D 4% milk
Organic enjoy no cheese. That's not how this works
That's not how it works.
You guys made this bed for yourselves.
Me yelling at two wrestlers.
We're screwing people.
It's a race for time. Not cheese, not ice cream.
Cheese does not go anywhere.
Right.
I just wanted to think of how easy the two people on the inner side of the couch could kick our ass in seconds.
Quick.
Very quick.
I'd roll into a ball.
My specialty is running away.
Ha ha ha.
All right, next up.
Juice.
We got orange juice, apple juice, cranberry juice,
and grapefruit juice.
What is the up?
Is that a juice in general?
Apple.
I had a bad apple experience when I was a kid.
Never since then, I just can't drink it.
Wow, interesting.
It was a long time ago.
Oh, was there mold in it?
No, it was just like, I had a stomach thing,
and I drank it, and I threw up when I was like eight.
And since then, never again with apple juice.
That was tuna fish for me, but then I came back around on it
It took a while. I came back for it. It took a while though. I've never even tried like I just
I'm gonna also give it say apples juice because I think that that mott apple juice specifically is very sweet
Yeah, I am NOT as we have established already a sweets first
I think I think we might have to do apple juice. I love apple juice, but my choice here
would be grapefruit juice.
Well, I love a grapefruit juice.
I love its tartness.
I think it's great with a cocktail.
Yeah, I was gonna say a little paloma.
Yeah, a lot of fun.
I mean, I gotta keep orange, I gotta keep cranberry.
So apple would also be my choice.
All right, I'm sad about it.
Apple juice features facial skin tight.
Is that true? That's what our truth says. Is that true?
That's what our truth says.
Wow.
Really?
That's his secret to staying young is grapefruit juice.
It probably has.
I mean, he looks 30 years old.
It looks great, yeah.
I don't know if it's true or not,
that's what he said though.
It must have, what are they called again?
Antioxidants.
No, no, what's the-
Collagen?
It must have collagen.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I'm gonna to go with a no.
But.
All right, last one.
These are so-called health drinks.
Coconut water protein shake kombucha and green juice.
Oh God, this is, actually I know what it was.
I'm looking at you guys for this one.
I think the butch.
Kombucha? The butch gets a boot? looking at you guys for this one. Cause I'm not really sure.
Kombucha?
Oh really?
Well, like you already heard of my love for coconuts.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
My go-to now is coconut water, ice, protein powder
in that thing, shake it up, drink it.
And green juice is good.
Green juice is good.
I love green juice. Green juice can be good.
Kombucha, I don't hate, but if I had to lose one.
Yeah. Yeah, I don't eat kombucha.
Kombucha also, it feels a very,
like it felt very hipstery for a while.
I know that it's much, has a much bigger history than that,
but I'm saying for a minute there,
there was like kombucha dispensary,
you know what I'm saying?
Well, it's like, SAE is the same sort of thing this is a thing that's been you know
trends yeah it's been consumed for thousands of years but it's a current trend
there's like micro brew kombucha places yeah yeah yeah I'm gonna go with
kombucha too because that kombucha looks kind of gross with the coconut and the protein and the
green drink you can really like have a little nutritious situation.
Yeah, and again, like you guys are saying,
the kombucha looks nasty.
I don't know where Amelia found that photo.
That looks like a home route.
Yeah, I'm like, that's not cute.
That's not.
It's a micro group,
because there's a live culture inside the kombucha,
which makes it true biotic.
There's something living in there.
It's like yogurt.
It looks like it's got a little bit too much of the.
It's fucking nasty.
I know what's going on.
It's fucking out of here, Wags.
It looks like old kombucha.
Yeah, I get it.
Wow.
Wow.
Was that the last one?
That was the last one.
That was a single item must be banished, just like a restaurant via feedback.
Let's open up the feedback.
And today we have an email from James Eye.
They write, here's the scenario, you're at a frozen yogurt place and can only put three
things on top of your frozen cream.
What do you choose?
I choose hot fudge.
Love you guys. So James I taps out at one item.
I was like, what?
Yeah.
He said three and then he gave us one.
Uh, three things, three things that you could put on this.
I would say, I mean-
Wait, so you're at a frozen yogurt place.
You're at a frozen yogurt shop.
You get three toppings.
Ooh, this is hard.
Hot fudge, Oreo, Butterfinger.
Pretty good. That's great, Chase. Hot fudge Oreo Butterfinger. Pretty good.
That's great, Chase.
I love the mini M&Ms.
I feel like they're always like,
they give a nice bit of texture.
And they remind me of McFlurry.
I would get caramel.
You're a caramel nut, it sounds like.
I like caramel.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Caramel, maraschino cherries, and like gummy bears.
Cause when I was a kid, we'd go to like Baskin Robbins and we would get,
that's what I would get on my little like Sunday.
It's so funny you say that cause frozen yogurt does make me think of gummy bears
for some reason. I mean, it's not the, it shouldn't.
Yeah, you could get like the gummy bears or Sour Patch Kids or something like that.
That's a good call.
Wow.
If I said fruit, is that, uh, that doesn't count? kids or something like that. That's a good call. Wow.
Yeah.
If I said fruit, is that, uh, that doesn't count?
Well, I think you gotta be more specific than fruit.
What kind of fruit?
But they have those compotes, like strawberry compote.
Yeah, those can be fun.
Blueberry compote.
A part of me feels like strawberries with frozen yogurt, but it all depends on what
type.
What flavor of it.
Yeah.
Are you going sweet?
Are you going like healthier frozen yogurt?
That's the big question.
You just said cream. I think whatever you're feeling right now. Yeah. Are you going sweet? Are you going like healthier frozen yogurt? That's the big question. You just said cream.
I think whatever you're feeling right now.
Yeah.
Maybe it's that vanilla bean.
Yeah, what's the baseline yogurt here?
Right.
You're talking just bean cream.
I think the Oreos are a great.
I think the Oreos, I would want Oreos in my top three,
for sure.
Oreos are great.
Little cookies and cream situation.
Yeah.
So I think Wags for me, this is now I'm doing the,
this is the fat guy version, but Oreos, chocolate fudge,
and fucking little M&Ms, that's what I would do.
But that's what I would want.
And I did the healthy one.
What'd you do?
Exactly what you did except I went
Butterfinger instead of M&Ms.
I'm looking at the, I had to close the tab
where I tried to, in vain, tried to search for
Madden's social media Christmas penis
and could not find the photo that I remember.
That's what you were doing over there?
Yeah, I couldn't find it.
The brownie.
But I saw it.
Man, it's gonna.
I saw it in the past.
Someone's gonna pull up some weird crap.
But I opened up the Yogurtland one just for inspiration.
I forgot about Cheesecake Bites.
That's a fun one.
They've got them, yeah.
You know what I like in the frozen yogurt
is they have like little strawberry balls
that burst in your mouth.
Do you know what I'm talking about?
Like those?
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Like a little strawberry boba, thank you.
That's better than-
Those are, you, no.
Yeah.
Yeah, like a strawberry popping boba
is what specifically they have here.
That's what I'm talking about, yes.
Oh, you know what I forgot about?
Sprinkles, ah, I do love some sprinkles.
I think I might go like a,
I might go like a chocolate sauce and M&Ms and a sprinkles.
Like a rainbow or a chocolate sprinkle?
I think in this scenario,
I'm probably going chocolate sprinkles,
but I do love a rainbow sprinkle.
Just depends on the context.
No, no, that's a good goal.
It's just very funny that these two have to fly off
to a wrestling show in another country,
and we're like, duh, gummy bears,
and we're wasting their fucking time.
That's what this is. This is gonna be the highlight of our day. gummy bears we're wasting their fucking time
gonna go do shit yeah that's what this podcast always is so we're always wasting our guests time yeah it just is James I'll tell you a bunch of episodes. He's a series regular, everybody. Of Johnny Lips Tie-Up. I've never been that before.
And you know.
You let me throw cake at you.
It was a blast.
I had a blast.
You played along with our dumb ideas.
It was, you guys rule.
And well, you can wrap it up.
Let's plug the show.
Yeah, if you have a question or comment
about the World of Chain Restaurant,
you can email us at feed feedback at birdfuck.com
or leave us a voicemail at 830-GO-DOE.
That's 830-463-6844.
And to get the Doughboys double their weekly bonus episode
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subscribe at patreon.com slash doughboys.
Our producers are Ernie,
our social producers are Amelia Moreno,
our engineers Casey Donahue,
our video editors Mike Dorfman,
our guest today, Johnny TV and Tyah Valkyrie.
The musical episode of Johnny Loves Tyah
is out right now on the AEW YouTube Music by Brina Campbell.
So how about that? Check that out.
The music is great.
The music is fantastic.
The director is right over here sitting here the whole time,
Justin Donaldson, her old friend.
Whoo-hoo!
By the way, if I sound good, it's all Brina.
Her artistry.
Taya has a wonderful voice.
Listen. A a wonderful voice. Listen.
A surprisingly wonderful voice.
But Britta made magic very quickly.
Yeah, we worked really hard on this series.
There's going to be 10 episodes total.
Like we said, the musical episode just came out yesterday.
The new episodes come out every Wednesday on the AEW YouTube.
Please make sure you check them out.
You can catch up on them on,
there's actually a specific Johnny Lifts Tie-Up playlist
that you can watch them from beginning to end.
And yeah, I'm excited you guys get to see it.
Thank you for being part of it.
Of course, watch my episodes, watch every episode.
Watch them all.
Take it all out.
Enjoy them and let us hear what you think
on all our social media platforms.
Thank you all so much for being here.
What a hoot.
What a joy.
I'm gonna start saying hoot.
Please don't take anything from me.
By the way, Taya looked at me and went, bird fuck?
Our website is birdfuck.com.
The show's bad. We warn you guys. We're trying to warn you.
It's like birdfuck hoot. I get it.
Negative one spoon. That'll do it for fuck's sake, who's, I get it. It's like, it's a theme, right?
Negative one spoon.
That'll do it for this episode of Doughboys.
Until next time, for The Spoon Man, I'm Mitchell,
I'm Nick Weiger, happy eating!
See ya!
["The Spoon Man"]
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Sources for the intro are in the episode description.