Doughboys - Subway 4 with Andre Hyland
Episode Date: February 29, 2024Andre Hyland (@theandrehyland, The Jesse Miller Talk Show) joins the 'boys to talk The Slap, the Bengal barrel, and celeb sightings before a review of Subway. Plus, another edition of Pie in ...this Guy.Watch this episode at youtube.com/doughboysmediaGet ad-free episodes at patreon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.comAdvertise on Doughboys via Gumball.fmSources for this week's intro:https://slate.com/business/2008/04/the-devils-behind-subway-s-five-dollar-foot-long-jingle.htmlhttps://www.inverse.com/article/11117-the-five-dollar-footlong-subway-song-was-the-greatest-jingle-of-our-timehttps://thehustle.co/originals/the-rise-and-demise-of-subways-5-footlong-promotionhttps://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/subway-franchises-franchisees-lawsuits-corruption-arbitration.htmlhttps://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2023/09/29/bay-area-subway-wage-theft/71006964007/https://newsroom.subway.com/Subway-SidekicksSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Let's see how many times we can say $5 foot long.
Let's mention it as many times as possible without making someone hurt us.
The result of this directive from MMB marketing honchos Jerry Cronin and Jamie Mambrough was
the $5 footlong song, the most memorable earworm jingle of the 2000s.
Composed by Jimmy Harned of Ad Music Stable Tone Farm, the song was constantly on the
airwaves in the dying days of commercial television and successfully hammered home the value of
a footlong sub sandwich for a five-spot.
The sand-dough's actual size was well under 12 inches, a fraudulent length like a falsely
promised huge hog, but still a remarkable value for a thousand-plus calories of processed
meats and machine-sliced veggies on an unfrozen bread log.
Today, inflation means those same sandwiches go for about $12, almost double
the federal minimum wage. But back in the Halcyon days of the Obama era, thanks largely
to the jingle, the promotion was a massive success for the world's largest sandwich
chain and second largest restaurant chain in terms of locations. Today the chain no
doubt wishes that song was their advertising legacy, as opposed to its actual legacy, funding the letrus lifestyle of living mascot Jared Fogle for nearly two
decades.
Now, Fogle is spending nearly two decades in federal prison for sex crimes.
And the chain, too, is shackled, in a sense, with locations shattering, regulators finding,
and franchise owners suing.
So can a limited time footlong cookie, churro, and pretzel revive
this decaying Goliath in the new frontier of marketing, one driven by social media?
This week on Doe Boys, we return, once again, to Subway. Welcome to Doughboys, the podcast about changed restaurants.
I'm Nick Weiger, along with my co-host, shower come loudy, the Spoon Man, Mike Mitchell.
Yes, yes, yes.
I'm trying to think of a code word to use instead of the C word.
Because we promised that we wouldn't say the C word.
We said we weren't taught.
We weren't, it was going to be no C word.
Wait, you said a code word?
I guess the C word is very confusing because...
I just assumed you meant cunt.
Sorry, is that...
We're all adults here.
The cum word.
The cum word, yeah.
No, you can't say, the C word makes you think of something else.
You gotta say the cum word.
Yeah, no, I realized that as I was doing it.
There a word we can say instead of the cum word. Crim or you know, something else. You gotta say the cum word. Yeah, I know, I realized that as I was doing it. There a word we can say instead of the cum word.
Creme or you know, something like that.
Creme sounds gross, so it kind of,
but it also sounds ambiguous.
Flesh crema.
Flesh crema. Flesh crema is good.
I flesh crema.
I flesh crema into the shower, people, so people, people.
You know, I've said too much stuff on this podcast over the
years and why is today, it's a rough start for us today.
That's right.
I've had a tough morning.
You've been dealing with the Rumblies and also the city, the Southland is dealing with
historic rainstorms.
Arcstorms.
Yes.
The arc storm is here finally. No, he's got that party boat ready.
That roast was from Patrick, Mitch's top of his class,
and jerking off into the shower, thanks.
Roastitbirdfuck.com.
Notice it doesn't say in the shower,
it says into the shower,
which would suggest he's outside like aiming.
Oh, this has been litigated.
I don't know, we got some news for you.
This has been lit a game.
This is established for.
That is the way that I do do that sometimes.
It's fun to make a game out of things, you know.
Oh, man.
I had a tough morning.
Yes.
Our guest told a story before, which we can get to, which is a great story
of a celebsiding, but at a tough week, as you know.
That's right.
There was a lot of stuff going on in this last week.
And then this morning I woke up and my stomach was very off.
I'll just say that, to not be gross.
Yeah.
Remember, Parenthood when they sing that song
Diarrhea. Yeah, is that is that what you know the song from? I suppose say the D word
Drim
What is the D word makes you think would make you think of dick probably? Oh, yeah,. Deanward Dick, but it being diarrhea is fun.
Yeah, my stomach was off this morning.
That's right.
And let me, I ran to the bathroom, I guess,
if that can paint any sort of,
that paints a brownish picture for you.
It was, I've had a bad morning.
But last week, and this is off my Mike Mike Mike our guest story here, which was great
But I went and saw the Omega man late last night and uh and at the vista Charlton Heston
Yeah, I never seen that one. It was it's it's basically I am legend. Yeah, same source material and
He's a lumbering figure so what Quentin Tarantino? Wow?
sighting the IBS text
It's called something like that
Some sort of color thing for film. Yeah, it's great
No, and my stomach was probably hurting at that time and probably I mean I like I went a few times this weekend
So I ate a lot of popcorn which I found out I think I don't think I can eat popcorn anymore
Oh, it's supposed to be bad for your stomach. Is it really? Yeah
Interesting I
Interesting. That's why you had IB when you saw QT.
I was gonna, I wanted to say hello to him and then I waited outside.
Let me just, just low gray growl.
Did you low gray growl or snore at me?
My hand was near her butt. She might have just sighed.
And you named her Gemini.
She came with the name and she knew it so we didn't change it.
So the former owner is a big fan of the Will Smith film.
Maybe.
That's popular.
It's a 120 FPS.
Great format.
Was it Will Smith, the former owner of Gemini?
Maybe.
She did come from Miami,ini? I know, maybe.
She did come from Miami, so, you know.
Wow.
I think they talked about the dog on some of the Red Table episodes, actually.
Keep my dog's name out of your mouth.
Wives, you remember?
I do.
Mitch, I'm having a blast today.
I'm just saying.
This is fun.
We're almost at a full year. Is that, was it, oh man, is it two years? That was over a year ago. I'm having a blast today. I'm just saying We're almost at a full year is that was it was over a year?
It's two years ago was the slap. Yeah, it was Hollywood's 9-11 never forget
On on regular 9-11 Hollywood
Feed up we were fine everything was it was fine, but then the slap was, that was...
Right.
I just remember talking to my neighbors and saying,
are you okay?
Yeah, right.
Everybody was like, did you feel that?
What were you, do you remember?
You mark yourself safe on Facebook from the slap.
Yeah.
I mean, you'll never top the slap. So now we're two years in, so Will's got eight more years until he can come back. Slap. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I was like, this is a bit. I thought it was a work at first. And then it was late. It also looked very strange.
Yeah, yeah.
They cut to a back camp, like a,
like it was like a wide shot basically, right?
I thought it was a bit until Will Smith was shouting
and the audio on him was bad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I was like, oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
This is actual chaos.
Yeah, but also, you know,
the most entertaining I guess the Oscars had been.
Oh yeah, for sure.
It was generally, I think, good for society that it happened.
I don't know.
You know the conversations that followed were scintillating?
I don't know if it was good for society.
I think there were a lot of people, well, that's, see, I don't want to be a nerd because at the time, like how social media is...
Comedy is dead.
No one can ever make a joke again. I mean, like how social media comedy is dead, no one can ever make
a joke again. I mean, they're in danger of being slapped. This this is what it was.
That was very annoying. I mean, there was a there was a like the conversation of like,
like people who are like freedom of speech and comedy is getting attacked. But also I
was like, you shouldn't have gotten slapped for I was more on Chris Rockside. But then
a lot of people weren't on Chris Rockside online. He shouldn't have gotten slapped for I was more on Chris Rockside But then a lot of people weren't on Chris Rockside online
He shouldn't have slapped them for a number reasons. Hey, she's like eat the joke
You're like a good-looking fucking millionaire getting an Oscar you can take a joke
Yes, and then or she can both of them and then it's also like hey dumbass like you're getting an Oscar don't go
Very pragmatic level it's like pride. I don't know probably bruise the evening in a way
Yes, yeah, no, I mean't know, probably bruised the evening in a way. Yes, yeah.
No, I mean, it was insane after that.
Nothing was normal again.
And he won, which is also what it's like.
But the slap, two years out.
I think that we should maybe pivot.
This should be a slap focus.
This should be a two hour slap comment.
March 10th will be another.
Yeah.
I think it's, what I mean,
but like it's good that the slap happened.
Like I think the world is decidedly less interesting without the slap.
That's just a normal Oscars and Will Smith gives a tearful speech and everyone's like,
oh, that was great, you know, whatever.
But the slap happening is just like, okay, that was interesting.
And all the kids say things slap now.
He's probably trying to get the younger audience back to the Oscar viewing.
That's true.
Maybe it all makes sense.
Maybe Will Smith did that.
I mean, was that that's what it means, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He sacrifices Oscars for 10 years to get,
you know, to get younger people into it.
I'm re-releasing Big Willie style
and I'm trying to get them into it.
I'll do a slap, right?
A slap?
A slap?
He did do a rap song. Didn't he he do a didn't he do a thing with DJ
Jazzy Jeff after that that was like pretty good. Yeah, I thought he did I thought he did something recently
He's probably the only guy who'd hang out with him after that
Who your real friends are guys have been with you from day one
When it's a dough boy slap gonna happen or was equivalent the Doe Boy slap? I'll probably slap you.
Yeah.
I could see you slapping me.
I think it'd be good for the podcast.
We just have to figure out how to make it happen.
Yeah, and also you'd cry and then I'd also cry.
We'd both cry.
Then our guests would feel weird.
Probably take off.
Yeah.
That's the unreliefed episode 400.
I guess that kinda is.
But the thing is like though
that was the difference there is first off
we didn't put that out there.
So that's one thing.
And then also you and I talked about it afterwards
and we came to an understanding
which I don't think has happened with the slap.
Yeah.
Right, that's like, but I get what you're saying
in terms of like you're saying.
No, they haven't made a man,
I don't think they've made a man's.
Yeah. And also it feels like. I know what it was, in terms of like hearsay. They haven't made a man, I don't think they've made amends. Yeah.
And also it feels like-
I know what it was, it was the Rob Blue episode.
That is our slide. Everyone got mad at us.
That is our slide.
And we forever lived in the aftermath.
That's true.
Yeah, yeah.
What's his podcast called?
Think about it. Literally.
Literally, that's what it is, yeah.
We will not be guessing on that.
Thank you.
I'm handling for the Fox nation show.
Yeah.
It is though I am glad that everyone who went after us
for having Roblo on the podcast also go after
his podcast network each and every week
they release an episode.
That's in heartening to see that moral consistency.
Yeah, no, that was, it was great.
That one of the main subverts that got mad at us was the you know the podcast network that he yeah
Yeah, no, it's good. All those people are great. What was all the people about like what was there mad? We had Roblo on the podcast
What's the issue with that? I guess he did some skit something scandals now many people are gonna mad for the way
He was he was and also apparently has bad politics People are going to get mad for the way he's going to get mad at you. I know exactly what happened at this point. He did something scandalous in the 80s. Oh, okay.
And also apparently has bad politics.
He did some bad stuff in the 80s.
Yeah.
You know, we were asked to have him on and then, you know, it seemed like people loved
Parks and Rec and Rack so far.
I don't know what he did, so maybe I'm going to ask him a question.
So like 17-year-old Rob Lowe in Hollywood 80s didn't have the best moral barometer
It was we're gonna like have an issue with that in 2023 or four. It was it's it's yeah
It's like 24 year old Rob Lowe at the at the DNC. I'll send you a link afterwards. Yeah, and it look, you know
I like his movies, but I don't agree with his politics from 1986
Now that is our president away doesn't do anything
Handsome guy in movies It was I was doing supporting Dukakis. Now that he's our president, oh wait, he doesn't do anything good.
Handsome guy in movies.
It was a-
File that under who gives a fuck.
Well, I'll find out what he did and I'll be like,
can you cut that out?
I did get a call from my manager that I was told
Rob Lowe is now an enemy of the dope boys.
So it's the truth that happened.
Which I don't wanna be anyone's enemy. I don't, you don't any of the Doughboys. So it's the truth that happened, which I don't want to be anyone's enemy.
I don't, you don't want to be on Nixon's enemy lists,
but like for Rob Lowe.
Yeah, I don't want to be on Nixon's enemy lists.
I heard he tapped your podcast.
He's recording this whole thing.
I've been playing with the Doughboys.
He's been staying in this room.
Oh, right, Nixon did it.
Dude, dude.
I don't, you know, I don't want to be on anyone's bad side.
No.
You know, Putin. I don't want to be mad at Putin. I don't want Putin to be mad at me. I'd say, hey, cut some of that shit out, you know, I don't want to be on anyone's bad side. No. You know, Putin, I don't want to be mad at Putin.
I don't want Putin to be mad at me.
I'd say, hey, cut some of that shit out, you know.
I would, I don't agree with what people do, but I don't want to mad at me.
You wouldn't slap Putin, Mitch.
I would not slap Putin.
If President Trump was in front of me first, I'd salute him a few times.
Yeah, of course you're saluting.
You got it.
And then I would shake his hand. Right.
And ask him if he'd be the final guest on our podcast.
But just here while we're recording,
if you had the chance to assassinate Putin,
would you do it?
Just between you and me and the mics.
If we would.
I'm just so afraid that you'll read about me being poison.
Right, right, right.
I think you did that earlier with that subway tuna sandwich. Oh, no, all right.
No future spoilers for, well, anyways, look,
I, seeing Tarantino was a, I was gonna like,
I wanted to say hi to him and I, I did.
So I did kind of like stick around and wait
and Olivia Wilde was there as well.
Very exciting.
And so I was like, I'm gonna wait and just say hello.
And I was like, what am I gonna say?
Like, can I audition for, you know what I mean?
Like, I'm not gonna do anything like that.
Give me in that 10th, last movie, buddy.
Yeah, I mean, like, what do you, what can you do?
So I don't wanna say like, you know, I didn't wanna,
I didn't wanna just, I didn't, I didn't have anything to say.
So I kind of just like stayed and watched.
And then there were other people who approached him.
That's why you just, I contacted Nod.
Yeah, I did.
But then they go, we both know what's going on here.
I like your work.
I'll just keep going.
Because other than that, I want to meet someone in a peer capacity.
I mean, I'm not going to say I'm a peer, but if you were even just a fucking
day player in some shit, you're like, OK, we're here doing a thing
and there's a context or a friend of a friend introduces you.
That's how I want to meet someone.
100%.
Otherwise, I'll let the chips just fall.
That's how I felt.
I didn't want to be like, you know, Paul was in one of's that's how I felt I didn't want to be like like you know Paul was in one of his movies Paul Russell
I didn't want to be like my friend Paul's in your movie
You know right right radiator and then I didn't want it
But then like I did hear I'd be like can I come to set for your next movie?
That's that's my favorite is like you're trying so hard to be respectful of someone's like time and privacy
And then they just like complete lunatics or the complete opposite and shamelessly.
Yes.
Well, you should have been like my friend Paul Paul L Jackson was in one of your movies.
You sure of his first name?
I didn't I so I didn't say hello to him, but I did kind of stick around.
I well I stuck around for like a little too long because like I was just kind of watching
but there were still a lot of people there.
But then I was leaving and they left
and I think Olivia Wilde thought
I was following her to work on her.
So Olivia Wilde, I was not following you to your car.
I auditioned for her back in the day,
for Uber driver, for BookSmart.
Wow.
When she pulled out the pepper spray,
that's what keyed you, keyed you in.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Was I like one foot behind her walking closely?
Yes, but she, yeah.
So I just want to say I did not,
but he had a, our guest had a much cooler experience.
Yes.
Which you should, I gotta play the drop.
I was gonna say you gotta introduce our guest.
But I gotta,
I had something I was going to talk about up top,
which we won't do,
because we did 10 minutes on the slap, but.
It's okay, it's okay.
Wait, you gotta talk about it.
Wait, you gotta talk about it.
No, what are you talking about?
We're not gonna talk about it, we'll hold it for next week.
No, this podcast is bullshit, you gotta talk about it.
I'm not gonna talk about it.
No, we're gonna eat you our guest
and then we can talk about it together.
Okay, play your drop.
Am I hitting with a drop
I'm a normal human man
I'm gonna meet you with a masquab again
I do wash my legs, but I don't use like a rag I just use a bar of soap
Sorry, I'm a misogynist, I refuse to say cool.
Fucking kids is bad.
That's true, that's true.
Because they can't make you cum.
I guess I did the building.
Skittle.
Is that the real housewives of Adobe?
That is, I think that's what that is.
Why is your going to like who this was sent in by?
One of the ad-chad finalists.
Wow.
Our friend, Bo.
Hi, Bo.
I sent in a drop attached like two years ago, Subgline Real Housewives of Dough Drop
from March 19, 2022 that you never played.
It's bad, of course, but if you'd be willing
to give it a listen, I'd appreciate it.
Love you all, thanks for the last bow.
Thanks, bow.
Oh!
That's very kind of bow.
All right, intro our guest and say this thing
that you have to talk about.
I don't have it, no, it's not, it's not,
it's not even worth saying at this point.
This is so insane, this is so insane.
Mitch, I think me not saying it is going to be our slap.
I think this is good for the podcast.
No, it's not good.
No, it's good. It's good me not saying it.
Drops at birdfuck.com.
I guess more stuff about Rob Lowe.
You got to, in droggers, you got to say it.
Our guest is a four-time Sundance director and actor from Barry.
The death of Dick Long in his live show, the Jesse Millitalk show.
Andre Highland is here. Hi, Andre.
That's right.
Yeah, I love that.
Here's the thing, Wags.
I've known our guest longer than I've known you.
That is wild.
That's true.
Well, that'd be 2006, 2007.
Yeah, 2006.
I mean, like, I probably had seen you in a show, I'm guessing, at that point.
No, no, I like your first version.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Andre's good friend, Paul Oyen, was in...
That's right, I remember Paul.
Was in Crud.
Yeah.
That's right, your old sketch group.
One of your old sketch groups.
We used to...
One of my old improv groups, why?
Sorry, I forgot, Crud too is your sketch group.
That's right.
Crud was your... your sketch group Sketch practice group
Rudd was the improv group and we had a we at one point set the record in the Andy Dick black box theater
That's right. It's got changed to the Dell close black box theater after he got himself in a little bit of trouble
The best kind of comedy a competitive competitive comedy, the improv cage match.
You were the champion's day.
That's right.
I've talked about before, we faced the real world.
You were there for that, right?
I was.
And I remember there was a group called Kick Drum Decade,
which was just like if Axe Body Spray and Dusheree
created a fucking improv group.
It was like, you would think that improv group
was like too silly and kind of like,
like the, I don don't know like the theater
school kids of comedy in a sense I mean in a nice way and then you wouldn't
think that's sort of like the Hummer driving fucking H2 Maxim magazine
lifestyle would find its way into a sketch group yes an improv group I mean
yeah and that was kick drum decade I don't know where they are now I know one
or two of the guys and they are the two that I
know great guys great guys
Drum was just an air, you know, you had to be there. It was like it was like Roblo in the 80s
The two the guy the two guys that I do know are our nice guys, but at the time I
100% agreed I was, yeah, fuck these guys. Well, they also were like,
wanted their audience to like boo us, which was like one of the original reality shows.
As part of the premise, the people who lived in the house
together had to have a job.
And this season, their job was to be professional improvisers.
So they studied at the-
One of the most coveted jobs.
Yeah, exactly.
But Luke had a job.
And they were-
By the way, I love that you're explaining like real world
to our very young fan base that doesn't even know what real, yeah, I love that you're explaining like real world to our very young fan base
That doesn't even know what real world is. I guess we don't even know what the actual real world is
True
No, we have fans who are born like in the mid to late 90s early 2000s the podcast like like it's 2023 if you were born on
9-11 you're. You got a shitty birthday.
2024.
Yeah.
It's 2024.
I said the year wrong.
The girl from the original Jurassic Park,
the blonde girl, she was born on 9-11.
Was she really?
Yeah, and I think Ludacris was too.
I want to fact check that one, but.
Wow.
Ludacris, yeah.
Damn, you know that he likes to party too, that's us.
I mean, I'm just saying his, I guess just one birthday was kind of ruined.
I guess, you know, after that.
Well, also Pete Rose breaking Ty Cobb's record was tarnished.
That was September 11th, 1985.
Wow.
Was it really?
Most people say that's the biggest tragedy.
You know.
You great Americans.
Wait, you're Pete Rose fandom because you're from Cincinnati. Now I understand. He should be in the Hall of Fame, you know. You great Americans. Wait, you're Pete Rose fandom because you're from Cincinnati.
Now I understand.
He should be in the Hall of A and Pete Rose.
You know who else is a Cincinnati Reds fan?
Who's that? Rob Lowe.
I'm not even joking.
I'm not even joking.
He's from Dayton, Ohio.
He usually doesn't pick, you know, who's from Dayton, Ohio.
That's right. Our buddy Dave Ferguson.
Dave Ferguson, who is a member of Crud.
That's right.
We just did a little Harold ourselves. We laughed and we're like, wow.
We just, we've...
We've been kick drum select, good night.
Kick drum select?
What were they called?
Kick drum decade.
Kick drum decade.
Sorry, kick drum decade.
And it was over 10 years ago now.
Maybe 20 years.
I don't know what the fuck they call themselves now.
What, that's a dumb name.
What is a kick drum, I mean,
not that that's the first dumb improv group name,
but like, like, since I had such gusto in like,
like it was like supposed to be like a macho improv group,
which is a fucking-
It's the dorkiest shit in the world.
We were crud, which sounds like blood.
They go out on the alley.
All right, all right dog, let's do that zip zap, Zop.
Like, fucking nerds, like.
I love this 17 year old beef that's's being aired out. They were it was well
Let me get my pinstripe vest and fedora
Get some Carl Jr. Get in there
Andre was was very supportive of us and Paul and it was
In a such a funny person. I'm sorry. He had to watch so much bad
but uh, but um, I was gonna say the
real world producers, like we hung out with a real world cast afterwards, and the real
world producers were like, who wonder if anything will happen with between crud and the real
world cast. And like, I think when they saw us, they knew that there was going to be nothing
happening. Right.
They left, I think as soon as the, as the show was over, they left. We, we play, we, we went up against them went up against them in a show, which I've talked about.
Improv Gagebash, yes.
As well as the real world is really one of the oldest reality shows,
like that in cops.
Right.
Should have had the cast of cops come do an improv session with you.
There's a screaming shirtless guy, a couple of cops or something. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean, the barrel existed, but I brought the Bengal to it. Yeah. No, I know the Bengal Barrel.
I've seen the Bengal Barrel video, which is great, but also, like, you can piece it together
from context, knowing Cincinnati, knowing the franchise.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's not too big of a mystery, I guess.
There was no mysterious part to it, but the Bengal Barrel is great.
I was a big fan.
Yeah, I love the Bengal Barrel.
And this is when the Bengals,
who have now had a little bit of a rough stretch
since that, since the spiral.
Yeah, Bustle's wrist, yeah.
Hopefully we'll be back.
But the bingo barrel took more prominence
when they went on their Super Bowl run in 22,
or February 22, the Super Bowl 21 season or whatever.
But I actually made the first bingo barrel video in 2009.
Damn. Because I was just making a video at tailgate because they went they were
playing the chiefs actually playing up then but it was Carson Palmer era.
Oh yeah. Yeah and I just picked up a barrel and started saying yeah bingle barrel dog you know and
then um it was weird even before they went to the Super Bowl but it's not like a like you know
videos on the internet get like millions of hits it doesn't even have that but it like
definitely grew around the Super Bowl but even even over the years, it was weird.
I would like drive, I'd be walking
and Cincinnati might go back.
And a couple of times people shout out bingle barrel
at me from the window of their car.
I'm like, that's great.
I think Cincinnati definitely embraced it.
Oh yeah, no, I'm so hyped to have something part of
like Cincinnati sports culture.
The, you know, I'm proud of that.
Yeah, that rules.
That rules.
I love, cause also, so basically,
what would that be called?
A big, like a.
Oh, just like a construction barrel,
big orange construction barrel of stripes.
So it looks like a tiger, so therefore is a bingle barrel.
Right.
And then you were having people slap the bingle barrel.
And then you did ask like a few cops,
I believe to slap the bingle barrel.
Yeah, you're like bingle barrel, your ass outta here.
He's gotta be like a Steelers fan or something.
Did any cops slap on it?
Any people that have?
I got, who do I, I don't know.
Yeah, a lot of people have slapped it.
I don't know, I'm normally like running a muck with it
when people just slap it haphazardly,
which is the way to do it.
I will say, I got beef with a Bingles fan.
Or actually, I don't have beef with him.
I don't give a shit.
It seemed like he had an issue with me. It was at the Super Bowl
There's a guy called captain bingo and look I like anybody who supports the bingo
So I don't have real beef with this guy and honestly I it came from me getting
Autists explain it. We're outside the Super Bowl when it was in LA and
There's this guy calls himself cat and bingo and he just dresses like cat and obvious from his commercials
But it's been themed so not the most original buddy, but but you know, you whatever you go to all the games
I mean, it's really funny. Yeah, I mean picking that there's so many captain captain America. Yeah, I'm obvious
Yeah, not captain Jack Sparrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the Expedia commercials. Yeah, but you know, that's that's you know
That's his journey, man, you know
Yeah, but you know that's that's you know, that's his journey man, you know
There was a bingo stormtrooper for a while There's the guy the construction helmet and the big hands and everything there's people over the years and then I saw him outside
The Super Bowl and I go oh shit captain bingo. I go for a high five and oh, I guess is yeah
We have the video vote version of this
So I go oh shit like pretend like you're me and And you go, oh shit, oh shit, Captain Bengal.
And he goes, he was just like, he was so like,
ugh, this is my day.
Oh my god.
He just seemed really checked out.
High five.
Yeah, like a check on high five,
but it was like a resentful high five.
Oh, dismissive, got it.
Like this is my day.
Not that barrel idiot.
You know, it was like this weird subculture
of fucking Bengal fan weirdos.
And like, it was a long time ago I dressed up
as the Carl's Jr. star and made a video
with Anna Lee Lawson who you know.
Oh yeah.
And I was going around in this Carl's Jr. star costume
that we got out of the dumpster
at this costume shop she used to work at.
We went up to Hollywood Boulevard
and we thought it would be funny to go around
as the fucking Carl's star or whatever.
And the guy who played Batman and Superman at the time,
the guy played Superman died a few years ago.
Who was up there forever.
And the guy who played Batman apparently had
violent outbursts, the one who looked like George Clooney
kind of.
Anyway, when I was there on my knees as Carl's junior,
or as Carl, and then I was,
those guys started talking shit about me,
standing next to me.
Like the guy-
Batman and Superman? Yeah, Batman and Superman were talking shit about me. But to me like a superman Yeah Batman superman were talking shit about me
But I was on my knees because the myth the costume was actually made for like a little person
You know and so I was on my knees in it and he goes you can see your legs coming out the back
He's like you're not gonna last all day on on your knees like that and and then and then they go then bat
I can't I was like gonna see him I get to see him talking Batman or Superman said
He's not even real superhero
Batman or Superman said, he's not even a real superhero. So it was just like a view into that world of like Hollywood Boulevard, superhero costume
people, you know?
But when Cap and Bingle was like, went in for that like resentful like meek high five,
I was like, this is that kind of beef.
This is that world.
You know, I'm more in it, but like, I was just like, fucking, let's unite, man. Let's, you know.
It'd be very funny.
Let's get the Bengal stormtrooper over here,
and you know, he'd probably try to throw that guy
in a dumpster or something, but.
It'd be very funny, even a few weeks,
you saw like, dough boys with Captain Bengal.
We've picked sides.
He's there with Rob Lowe being like,
no man, Cincinnati sports.
Kick drum decade.
Yeah, that sort of petty tyrant is like the, Cincinnati sports. Kick drum decade. Yeah.
That sort of petty tyrant is like the,
like they're the craziest person.
They have so much, you know, this is my domain.
This is the, I'm the center of the universe here.
So I have so much importance,
like put so much importance on this.
Yeah. He's probably like,
you're not even really like that guy.
And it's like, oh, you're a real captain, you know.
Right.
Yeah.
But anyway, man,
Captain Bangle, if you're out there, if you're're listening just give a good high five next time. That's all
It's all Bengal fandom, yeah, it's all love man who day, you know, I
I uh
Cool day seems fun to say. Yeah, who day who day who day thing on peanut bingles who day?
No, buddy. That's a very quiet a bridge version
But you know for a while was saying go birds, but now say go birds go birds go birds is good
He's he's now he's gonna say who day who day yeah not to be confused with who dat with the Saints
I so I know who dat yeah, but who day is distinct. Yeah. Yeah go birds who dat who day. I think I like who day
Sounds like an owl,
like thinking about what his day is gonna be like.
Who day.
Every day for an owl.
The Bengal's fandom is dropping by the second,
as you keep saying who day,
because I think that you should probably.
No, spread it, man.
We should back up for a second,
because you had a celebrity sighting of your own.
You told us this online.
That's why I told my story.
And that's why Mitch told his story, but I want to hear yours.
I want everyone to hear yours.
Okay, so I went to Salt Lake City this weekend to visit my wives and then...
It's like such a cheap shitty joke.
But anyway, no, I went to Salt Lake to do a project and then I was waiting in Burbank
Airport and then Stu walked by and I thought it was Paul oil and my friend who was in
Crud yeah great guy, and I was like oh shit. That's not Paul
It's fucking Dave Grohl and then I was like oh cool as a lifelong, you know nirvana fan and right fighters of course afterwards
I was like oh shit. It's probably one of the only few celebrities I get a little geeked on you know
Yeah, but and then it's like that thing you're talking about when Daredinho's like, I don't want to say like, what's up?
But like, I'm not going to say what's up, like the fuck.
Yeah.
You're just going to be like, you're stuff's great.
All right, later.
And then, and then, so anyway, we were just sitting across from each other for a while.
And then at some point I got to use the bathroom or get a snack or something.
Then he had to walk by.
And I was like, we just made eye contact and nodded and he nodded.
And I was like, all right, that's good.
That's good.
That's satisfying.
And that way, you know, you also don't't have the I don't think he'd be a dick
He's got a pretty good reputation me a nice guy, but then it's like okay
I wasn't like now every time I listen to fucking whatever
Like that guy's a dick if you want to get high five Dave Grohl and give you a captain Bengal
Yeah, I would that would make more sense to me though because if you're actually a famous person
You got all kinds of lunatics and weirdos dealing with you.
Demanding a high five.
Like I've known who he is since I was 11.
That's weird.
You know what I mean?
That's gotta be, I mean, that's not weird that I do.
He's a famous guy, but like.
I'm just trying to think of,
if I think Captain Bangalows more famous than Dave Grohl.
It depends on what country.
Depends on what country.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think probably Dave Grohl.
I think Grohl beats him.
I think Grohl beats him. I think Grohl beats him. I mean, you put Foo Fighters and Nirvana together, I think you're a country. Yeah. I think probably Dave Grohl. I think Grohl beats it.
I think Grohl beats it.
I mean, you put Foo Fighters and Nirvana together, I think definitely.
You go to anywhere in Asia.
Captain Bangle is bigger.
Yeah.
And parts of Germany.
But other than that.
I would love if that was true.
Captain Bagel had a huge fall in Germany.
But I was very satisfied with my friendly knot exchange.
I was like, yeah, we both know what's going on here and that's, we're
good.
At least that's what I took from it.
When he came up, now I talk like I'm friends with him.
When he's come up with the aisle, I gave him a little nod.
He's like, green hat, green hat.
He's framing me up, likes.
Do you give nod knots to strangers?
I do a lot of those.
I do sometimes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm talking about.
Do you want fries with that?
But sucked.
But to put the bookend on the Dave Grohl thing,
that's not an interesting story what we told already,
but what happened is on the flight back,
also I had asked for a flight back
I got could have gotten earlier flight to LAX and I decided to stay in Salt Lake City for like eight hours longer
So I could fly in a Burbank. I love this move. This is such a better fucking
Airport to go in and out of it's just did not have to even go to LAX like makes your day so it's amazing
It's a guy Fieri restaurant in the airport which you can go you can go
There's a window themed kiosk as well, which is funny
But then I
Realize on the flight when I'm getting ready to go on the flight back to Salt Lake for my delayed not delayed
But the flight I took longer was also who's there Dave Grohl and then I'm getting on the plane and again
It's also who's there Dave Grohl and then I'm getting on the plane and again
Make eye contact and I'm thinking I'm in my mind I'm like, oh, he'll probably think I'm some fucking creeper following him or something
But this is totally coincidental and then he goes, uh, hey, you're on our flight out, too
Which fucking rule my day, and I was like, yeah, I was like, oh, yeah
And I feel like I told fan for a second. I was like you rule dude
And then they give you that little?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He said it off, he said it off.
So that was like, yeah.
That fucking rules.
Yeah, so that was a good, that was a good.
It's way better than my story where it just looks like
I followed Olivia Wilde through a car.
Wait, can I ask about that topic?
I-
That does suck when something looks like something you're like,
I'm literally just walking, or-
Yeah, just walking to my car. S walking or sincerely going this direction or whatever.
Look, obviously, you know, it's,
I understand women in this situation being like very,
like understandably cautious.
I get that.
If you find yourself in, and I find myself in this situation,
you know, more often than I'd like,
where I'm walking the same direction as a woman,
like behind her, and I'm like,
I gotta just speed up and go around them
so they don't think I'm following them.
But the other thing I will do is I will be like,
okay, if she turns-
By the way, I think we should transition our podcast
into this sort of stuff.
If she turns right here, I'll go straight.
If she goes straight, I'll turn right.
Like, you know what I mean?
Like I'll do like a little calculation to make it clear
that I'm, what's that?
Politically?
Yeah, 100%.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I had an issue, I had a situation like this
where I went to do the Bug Main show the other day
and I was at the Leric Hyperion
and there was this dog like kind of walking by itself.
But then there was-
You mentioned the story, yeah.
Oh, did I say it on the-
I think you said, I don't know if you said it on the pot.
Did I say it on the pot?
You just did in the Emily Yoshida's episode, I believe.
You said it on last week's episode.
On last week's episode,
I said, is that your dog?
And then the lady said,
it's kind of scary to have a guy
like ask a question like that out of nowhere.
I was like, I'm trying to help the fucking dog.
Yeah.
I'm trying to help the dog. It was an off-le leash dog and you want to make sure that it had a person. I can't help that.
I'm frankenstein. It's not my fault.
I don't know if you remember when I was walking on the reservoir one day in Silver Lake and ran across you and Jack and the crew. Yeah. And Susser. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Jack of Crud. Yeah. Susser of Crud too. Chaucer of Crud too.
Jack also of Crud too.
Life is a Herald.
And then there's a big whatever, most people out in the world aren't familiar with the
sidewalk space around the reservoir here nearby.
They should be.
But it's pretty fucking big.
It's like the size of this, it's bigger than this car.
At least it depends on where you are, but the part we were in was like the widest part
of it, right?
Yeah.
And I don't know if you remember this, this, we're like, yeah, there's a group of what,
like four of us chatting,
but we weren't taking up the entire span of the path, right?
And then this woman walks by and she said,
I can't remember exactly that quote,
but it was like, make way, sidewalk space,
or something like that.
And it was just like, you and your dog
both fit perfectly fine past us. Like, yeah, like if it was a busier day, it was like a Tuesday morning, no it was just like you and your dog both fit perfectly fine past us like yeah
Like if it was a busier day, it was like a Tuesday morning. No one was there except for us and this woman and her dog
I don't know my point is but just I don't know fucking bullshit. Yes, bullshit. It's like
Like this we're blocking the path sure, but even then it's a fucking park man
Like you know like we were like laying across we We weren't having a sit in on the goddamn sidewalk.
We were just like,
Yeah, you can add, yeah.
I mean, like, like you can be polite always is the first option.
And if someone's gonna be a dick about it,
then that then you can escalate,
but start with politeness.
Yeah.
KCM, I don't know how.
But there wasn't, or sorry, go ahead.
I was gonna say, I don't know how difficult it would be,
but we're transitioning here, calling out Karen's.
If you can change Doe Boyz to calling out Karen's. That would be great. Yeah. We're gonna call, calling out Karen's if you can change. Doe voice calling out Karen's.
That would be great.
Yeah.
We're going to call out these Karen's.
Just fix that in the post.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Put up calling out Karen's.
Yeah, great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then next week, the next week you'll change that to Proud.
And it'll really go a different direction.
But yeah, logistically, she had loads of space.
She fit her and an animal creature past us fine. People are too fucking.
Like it's something maybe she came across in the past
and she's like, this is close enough
to what I was angry about.
I'll just rattle at these guys.
There ought to be some sort of fucking history
with the reservoir.
One reason I prefer, look, I'm not a car dude.
I drive by necessity.
I tried to walk and take public transit as much as possible.
One reason I generally prefer being a pedestrian
is because I feel like you're gonna counter more craziness
on the road when people are within their cars.
But you do encounter insanity in person as a pedestrian.
And that's even worse,
because it feels like what is going on here?
Am I in danger? What's happening and why is this person yelling at me? Yeah, this dude in Park City recently last month
It's just the sidewalks really clean. I'm gonna snowy, but the sidewalks were clear enough space for both of us and
Walking by I was like on the phone. I wasn't like talking super loud
I mean he's outside gives a shit anyway. Yeah, and he goes good day to you
Okay I don't know why he gives a shit anyway. Yeah. And he goes, oh, good day to you. I was like, okay. Yes, did you wanna join the phone conversation
or something?
Like, so weird.
This is wild to me.
You're a very friendly man too.
I don't know why you're getting harassed on sidewalks.
This doesn't make sense.
It happens a lot.
I think they might just be a team captain.
Team captain.
Yeah.
I noticed when I've done like hidden camera stuff or gone out in character and stuff like I get less
Flak from people sure yeah, I mean I'm sort of the instigator in those instances
But I'm not like even a dick then or whatever
But like but like when I'm just sort of myself and kind of whatever this demeanor is yeah, it's yeah
I get shit like that. No me too. I think I think it's partially my
Want to fight.
So I'll rattle off some bullshit at them or something.
I'm surprised that you don't get it more often,
but I think it's probably because you have like a kind of a one-hour photo type of vibe to you.
People don't really want to engage, I guess you could say.
Are you taking pictures of them as well or no?
That's your reference point for a psychopath
is the Robin Williams movie one hour photo?
I had to say it was just, it popped into my head.
Yes, yeah.
That's a real weird movie.
It is a weird movie.
In the end, he makes some fuck
and takes pictures of him fucking?
You're supposed to say spoiler alert.
Sorry, spoiler alert.
No, some fucking Karen's gonna yell at me.
Do they show creme?
I don't think there's any creme.
Okay.
Maybe we implied creme.
What was the other word for it?
Oh, flesh crema.
Flesh crema.
Flesh crema.
Flesh crema.
Wait, hold on.
No, I have the IMDB up.
It is rated R for a brief flesh crema, so.
BFC?
Yeah.
We got to talk Cincinnati food.
That's right.
First of all, second of all,
just tell us what the fucks you were gonna say before.
Just tell us.
I'll save it.
Okay, let's talk about Cincinnati food.
By the way, there's a Cape Polant podcast
playing behind your head.
And it's just as I'm like,
damn, it's probably very funny.
Yeah, what is going on?
So we have a window here,
which we can see out into the head gum lobby.
In the head gum lobby,
there is a monitor that is playing video
of a better podcast.
Yeah.
Our guest is looking at it longingly,
wishing he was on it.
Is this a new thing?
Very, very funny.
I don't, I don't, I don't,
this is a new thing.
This is a new thing, yeah.
So this is like, if you like go to the HBO offices
and they're playing like Game of Thrones in the TV's.
Well, we're here to pitch the Doughboys TV show.
Oh, it's not Kate, she's the guest it looks like in the TV's. Well, we're gonna pitch the Doughboys TV show. So.
Oh, it's not Kate, she's the guest it looks like in the scenario.
Yeah.
Whose podcast is that?
Can't read it or really see who the hosts are.
Seek treatment.
Seek treatment.
Seek treatment.
It's not literally.
It's like.
Would you prefer literally?
Yeah, there's literally up there.
I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
I can't wait to literally. Or he's just a guest here on like.
It's alright man, him and I got the Ohio connection.
We're mad to call you into fucking smooth things over.
Him and his brother chat over here, we'll throw out some opening pitches together or something.
At a Reds game.
Alright, so Cincinnati food, also you should just tell us your thing.
But Cincinnati food, don't you think you should tell us that?
Well maybe, we'll see.
We got some other stuff to talk about.
We're up against the clock.
Let's get into it.
Let's talk about Skyline Chili.
Skyline Chili.
What do you want to know?
Do you like it?
Yes.
Great question.
Yes, I do.
That's it.
I grew up with it.
And then there's Gold Star Chili as well, which would be,
if I'm going to do an LA comparison because, you know, everybody else is in LA.
Would be like, in and out would be like, Skyline would be in and out burger
and Goldstar would be like fat burger.
Okay, sure.
Okay, so it has its hardened fans for both, but-
Yes, what side are you on?
Skyline is the more popular.
Well, I'm on the more popular side of Skyline,
but I'm on the unpopular opinion of, I like them both,
but if I had to choose between the two I'd go skyline got it
Yeah, and I get into trouble sometimes here not that much trouble because who gives a shit
But like I like the Lakers and the Clippers who gives a fuck wow now
I'm wearing my NBA sweatshirt for my general fandom of of basketball
But if I had to choose between the two I'd probably go Lakers Wow
Yeah, but I don't, why not enjoy both?
I think it's one of those weird ass things.
No, it is, like, see, I-
You hate the Clippers.
I hate the Clippers.
I think the thing with sports fandom is part of the fun of brooding for a team is ruining
against a team.
So I root against the Celtics, I root against the Clippers.
But you know, you like both, that's fine.
Yeah.
If they're going head to head, I'm gonna go Lakers.
But I'm happy to support both Los Angeles teams. That is a heretical opinion. We play you like twice a year the Lakers historic rivalry
It's one of the best rivalries in sports
Minnesota man
He needs to be needs to grow up. You're saying we about the Celtics the Lakers Celtics is a historic
Celtics more they they they're mad they it's a rival. And it was just a fan of sports. Lakers fans hate the Celtics more. They're mad.
You guys are mad too.
We're two in your heads.
I think this is projection.
We're two in your heads.
I never think about the Lakers.
You're thinking about it right now.
I never think about the Lakers.
Never ever.
You know what?
You watch Winning Time and featured the Celtics
almost just as much.
Wait, what's that?
Did you watch Winning Time?
Yes, I loved Winning Time.
Adam McKay, what a produced show.
I feel like we're hitting lots of buttons right now.
My buddy Payman, a good friend of the show,
a previous guest of the show,
directed a lot of the Winning Time episodes.
Great, okay, so where do we edit,
where do we edit everything I've said about Winning Time?
I mean, Payman told me, he's like,
you're not gonna like Winning Time.
Right.
And Payman, you're right.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
You're right.
Payman, you're right, you're right.
Payman's an excellent director. He's a great guy.
We like payment a lot.
You know, not my cup of tea.
Sure.
Well, you've always got cheers.
You know?
Hell, yes, we do.
Cheers is one of the greatest of all time.
Love cheers.
And you got the Fraser reboot back in Boston.
That's an interesting one.
I understand that they were like, well, Niles doesn't want to,
David I. Pierce doesn't want to reprise Niles. And that's the whole, without that,
it's like there is no Seattle Frazier. So I understand that, but like that becomes a thing
where I'm just like, maybe just don't do the show. I watched it. It was all right. Yeah.
That's my review. It was nice to see the old, well, that's not the old gang, it's just Frazier.
And then you will Lilith's in it, so that's a little bit.
That's about it.
Yeah.
I auditioned for the Firefighter's friend.
Who went to a funny dude who I met before?
Oh, you've been great in that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been like, Mitch is in it, it's alright.
In Hollywood you do stuff sometimes that's not good.
We all have.
I think people get too sick.
But I don't even think it's bad.
I think it just took getting used to because like all your favorite characters aren't there
It's like where's Daphne where you know where's the brother? Where's the well? I know where the dad is
You know, yeah, we got we got too sensitive about this though. Our podcast is bad most of the time. That's true
It's bad. Yeah, wait. Wait you mean like I'm gonna go in today
Like cool, I got some guy on who slaps the construction barrels.
This is getting pretty fucking weak.
And then some other lunatic wanting to high five him.
That's who they brought him on.
Getting to sidewalk fights.
They have a guy on that kind of Mitt Dave Grohl.
I look, I just think that if someone came up to me
and was like, that episode sucked, I'm like, yeah, I don't that if someone came up to me
and was like, that episode sucked. I'm like, yeah, I don't know.
A lot of things I do suck.
Who cares?
We got too sensitive about that.
It doesn't matter.
I think it'd be like, leave me alone.
Like why did you say this to me?
Is this me talking to you?
Yeah.
No, I think the, but like you're talking
about a different thing.
You're talking about, because going up to someone and saying like, I don't like your work. Like if you went up to Quentin Tarantino the, but like, you're talking about a different thing. You're talking about, because going up to someone
and saying like, I don't like your work.
Like if you went up to Quentin Tarantino and were like,
and I know this is not how you feel, but if you were like.
I mean, I also, if someone came out to me and said,
I don't like your work, I think you're bad.
I would be like.
It'd be kind of funny, because that's a great story.
Kind of funny.
Do you ever have people do this thing,
or I think it's like something where they're trying
to let you know that they're being for real,
like they're not just like gassing you up.
Sure, sure.
They'll be like, oh, I love that one thing you did,
but that other thing wasn't feeling it.
And you're just like, cool, thank you.
It'd just be like, I love that hat, sure it's kind of wack.
Just so you know I'm being real.
Thanks, I like my shirt actually,
but like glad to know you don't, cool.
I get that, I do get that a lot where people couldn't get
through the tomorrow or whatever.
Like you were the best part of it.
The rest of it's stunk.
I'm like, oh, you don't have to say that.
That's someone trying to alpha you.
Unless they're Dutch, that's just like a weird,
like, you know, like power move.
Unless they're Dutch.
Yeah.
And Dutch are is a famously forthright culture.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like they'll just be, they would just say like,
I don't like that hoodie.
I don't like that hat.
And you just like, thank you for the weird observation. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. I'm gonna turn it back on Dutch. I don't like that hoodie. I don't like that hat. And you just like, thank you for the weird observation.
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I'm gonna turn it back on Dutch.
I don't like the movie Dutch.
Yeah. Mitch, they're devastated over there.
Ed O'Neill's worst performance.
That is another weird movie.
Yeah. One hour photo in Dutch.
Those are our references today.
That's a good double feature.
How about that, yeah.
Yeah. Dutch was like with those late John Hughes films. That's a good double feature. How about that, yeah.
Yeah.
Dutch was like with those late John Hughes films, it was like Curly Sue, it was like
the last big one or something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
It's the Pepsi kid, the Pepsi girl.
Yeah, oh yeah, oh right.
That's why Pepsi girl.
Oh my god, she was the Pepsi girl.
That was like when, what's his, I don't know if I forget his name right now, Red Hair,
Robot Chicken, Seth Green.
Yes.
Like the way he was the rally's kaching kid.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah. Bill Murray also threw him in the trash. Oh that's right. Yes. No. Yeah. Yeah, it was just kind of funny
Kind of makes me like like well, I shouldn't say we'll get we'll be like trash can't
We'll have Bill Maher in the podcast
It will be the ones that finally get in trouble for having Bill Murray on. Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Well, Seth Green's never going to come on now.
Andre, how do you eat your Skyline chili?
Do you put it on? Great question.
Spaghetti, or do you put it on rice or do you just eat it as a bowl?
That's not good.
So I go kind of like, well, like the classic things there are like the
coni and the three-way.
Yeah. The three-way is spaghetti with chili on top and cheese.
And I go, you can also go four way with chili,
or it would be spaghetti, chili, onion and cheese,
or you can go five way, which is spaghetti, chili,
beans, onion and cheese.
And the bean to me, beans fine, but I don't do that.
I get the four with onion and I'll get a Coney with no mustard.
That's my go to.
And I used to when I drank more soda,
I would get half mountain dew and half Dr. Pepper
mixed together. What a great combo. and half Dr. Pepper mixed together. Wow
Dr. Pepper MD I recommend it if you make it at home you go two-thirds
Mountain Dew put ice on it then slowly pour the root beer or not the root beer
Sorry, the Dr. Pepper on top of it. It it creates a nice separation. Oh
Wow, yeah
I think we have to try Md. Yeah. Dr Pepper MD. I think we're gonna have to try Dr. M.D. Yeah, this is great.
Do you usually say Dr. and M.D.
or is it a funny, kind of repetitive thing?
I say Dr. Pepper MD,
just because it sounds like a medical name.
It's great, I love it.
I'm interested in trying, too great.
So does that, I don't usually drink.
Oh, and they get oyster crackers there,
which are really good.
It's nice little salty-ass oyster crackers.
I'm a big oyster cracker guy,
from clam chowder, of course.
I was disoriented the first time I saw oyster crackers
because I was like, I thought so there was going to be some oyster connection.
But it's just because of their affiliation with clam chowder, right?
Is that what it is?
I guess that would make sense because it would look like a clam shape, kind of not really.
They're more like pentagon crackers.
Yeah.
Scary.
I like putting them on their side, cracking them open, and then just having the thin side
land on your tongue
and it just melts away.
How fun is that?
That's great.
It's like an activity.
You add an activity to it.
Like when you-
I mean, you just planned Nick's weekend.
When you flesh-crumb out into the shower,
it's like a game you play, you know?
I don't know when time I was peeing on a thing
and I had a walkie-talkie and such a stupid thing. How did I do was a I was peeing on a thing and and I had a walkie-talkie and
Such a stupid thing. How did I do this? I was
Peeing oh, I know what I did I was peeing and I thought this is like a game
I'll play to make peeing more fun
You know it's like a normal toilet not a urinal and I was like I'm gonna lean over and flush it while I'm pissing
And see if I can beat the flush like you know like finish peeing before the flesh. Yeah, so I do that and I've got like a winter vest
This wasn't Cincinnati and I leaned over to hit the flush.
The fucking walkie-talkie fell out of my pocket
and right into the toilet and was like,
it's going around in circles.
I was like, oh shit.
But then a few things are going on.
It was still like flush swirling.
I think the walkie-talkie wasn't going to disappear,
but it was getting like drenched
not only by the toilet water, but my active peeing.
And then, but I was like, I got to get his out of it.
It was just like, it's the fucking walkie-talkie
for the production, I need it.
And also like, ugh.
And then also, so anyway, so I was like,
ah, and just like grabbed it while peeing.
Kind of like pinched it.
And then like grabbed the walkie-talkie,
and I was like, ugh, and just put it in the sink.
I was like, I got this peak covered fucking walkie-talkie
in the sink.
And I was like, how do I wash this shit off?
I gotta get it more wet to wash it off.
So I was like dabbing paper towels all over
and trying to like do a quick rinse.
Like when you're trying to heat up pizza or something
like that, you douse it under the water real quick
before you microwave it.
Maybe you don't do that.
But anyway, so I was like doing that.
And then after that, I was like, okay,
this looks normal and it's dry.
And then after that, the little like fucking numbers
or whatever radio frequency was on,
it all looked like, it all looked fucked up.
It looked like when Predator's punching in his bomb codes
and then they're like, what the fuck?
And then I had to like, what I was doing, it was like we were shooting some outdoor thing. Predators punching his bomb codes.
And then I had to like, what I was doing, it was like, we were shooting some outdoor thing and I was like the lookout for like a cars coming or like,
you know, I try to stop the car, but if I couldn't, I'd have to be like, you
know, cars coming because it was like, I'll active street.
And I went down there for them.
Why didn't you work anymore?
Was I dropping the toilet and peed on it?
And it was just like, and then, uh, so I just had to like shout at cars.
And luckily there was no big like accident with a car coming through
But then at the end of the evening, I just never used a walkie-talkie. I'm just didn't work
And then just put it back in the pile
Well, I had to hand it to like whoever the second ID was or something like that
And I was like luckily it was raining a little bit. I was like go low wet when it rains
I think might be
He's like, oh, good. Thanks for letting me know.
I was like, yeah.
He's like, oh, it smells like piss, too.
Oh, man.
ADs always, they sniff the walkie-talkie before they,
you know, before they take it back.
I laughed right then.
I don't know if, like, a booger came out of my nose or not,
but it's video, so.
We can either highlight it or, or, or, or, or,
never tell it.
I'll know it or cut it.
It's up to you.
Yeah, whatever you thought.
I don't think anything flew out.
I'm just like, do I have a dangler now?
You do not, you're good, you're good.
That's one of the worst.
It was just audio only.
I'd let it say dangle away, but like, sure.
Sure.
By the way, Andre was PAing on one hour photo.
Wow, is that true?
No.
Oh.
You got me.
But I have used one hour photo.
You think you're just peeing on one hour photo from like 1997?
We've been making connections all episode.
It's one hour for 2000s.
I don't say I've no idea.
It's 02.
02, yeah.
Damn, you're good with numbers.
Yeah, I just, one after another.
We got a regular, we got regular crumb-holz on our hands. Yeah, damn you're good with numbers. Yeah, I just one after another
Regular crumbholts on our hands
num3r's
Roman did Romanek direct the pilot of that of num3r's was that I was saying one hour photo
Of course he Romanek did that and you know where Romanek went to school Ithaca College Mitch well, oh, Romanek. Of course, he Romanek'd it that. And you know where Romanek went to school? Ithaca College.
Mitch!
Well...
That's crazy.
That is kind of like a Herald.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is your brain.
This is drugs.
This is your brain on drugs.
Mitch, every 80s and 90s kid remembers this iconic ad.
I do.
It depicted a very nerdy looking dad holding an egg beside a frying pan,
breaking the egg, plopping the egg in piping hot oil,
and then holding the fried egg in front of the camera with a very serious look on his face.
Any questions?
Yes, many!
Wow.
Schedule 35 is removing the stigma around drugs, particularly magic mushrooms, with
precisely measured out micro doses of psilocybin that you can enjoy daily and experiencing all
of the benefits without frying your brain.
An emerging movement around psilocybin is proven to help with mental health, PTSD, anxiety,
and depression. Studies have shown that psilybin works by creating new neural networks in the brain,
which help boost focus, creativity, mood enhancement and help fight addiction.
Schedule 35 ships all across Canada and the US and is the most notable brand currently in the space.
All products come with guides that make micro dosing easy to understand.
All customers will need to be age verified.
Once age verified, 19 plus in Canada
and 21 plus in US, they will receive an invite code. For all of our products and to get an invite
code, visit schedule35.co. Schedule 35's goal is to de-stigmatize and re-educate on the science
and real-world benefits of psilocybin, as well as making it accessible for everyone. That's my goal, too.
Get 15% off with code DOEBOYS at schedule35.co.
That's 15% off at schedule35.co and use code DOEBOYS.
Do it.
Mitch, you know what's a pain?
Prep and meals!
Cooking for yourself!
Well, factors, delicious, ready-to-eat meals
make eating better every day easy.
Wherever tomorrow takes you, be ready with pre-prepared, chef-crafted and dietitian-approved
meals delivered right to your door.
Wow, factor has over 35 different options a week to choose from, including keto, calorie
smart, vegan, plus veggie, and more.
And there's even more to enjoy with over 55 nutrition-packed add-ons that help make your
weekly meal planning even more delicious.
What are you waiting for, Wiggs? Get started today and have a feel-good week of meals ready
to go.
These are two-minute meals. Fuel up fast with Factor's restaurant-quality meals that are
ready to eat and eat wherever you are.
Snacks, smoothies, and more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day
like breakfast, midday bites, and more. Discover a wide variety of easy options for the entire day like breakfast, midday bites and more. Sign up and save? That's right, we've done the math. Factor is less expensive
than takeout and every meal is dietitian approved to be nutritious and delicious. Factor is
the perfect solution if you're looking for fast, upscale options done easily. Flexible
for your schedule. Get as much or as little as you need by choosing 6 to 18 meals per
week. Plus you can pause or reschedule your deliveries anytime. No prep, no mess meals. Factor meals
are 100% ready to eat and eat, so there's code DOBE BOYS 50 at factormeals.com slash DOBE BOYS 50 to get 50% off.
Do it.
Anyways, we should get to the food, but also you should tell
your story.
We'll see. But right now we get talking about Subway. So Subway
this is the we've visited this a few times, Mitch, this is
actually Subway 4, which is one of those things I saw Subway 4
in my outline is like, where are we due?
First one was when you had Jared on.
That's right. We try to get Jared.
We try to get him back.
We tried to get him back.
The apology episode.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, you try to get Jared on, but he was in prison. So that was kind of just bad planning on our part.
Yeah.
And then you had on Bucky and Vinny from the 90s campaign of the New York cab drivers.
That's right. Yeah. Talk about the sub club stamp parts.
How on earth do you remember?
What a whole thingy.
Was that a friend of yours to work at Subway
in high school or whatever?
Yeah, like, you know,
but they had all these fucking Bucky and Vinny stickers
that we just got.
Yeah.
And so we had all these Bucky and Vinny stickers.
So it stuck with me.
Bucky and Vinny, I like very slightly remember.
Yeah, just drop me all right or whatever they were on about.
There was also that heartburn commercial where they're like,
I was going up for a new thing Broadway,
and the first time I saw me, I catch this up with me.
And then saying, it's like this guy says 10,
Pepsi, I see it, he was, what are you, a doctor?
And he goes, yeah.
Which was not a subway commercial,
but it was very bucking Vinny adjacent.
Yes, yeah.
You were like, I don't know what the,
there was also some heartburn thing.
There was also the MTV cab driver.
There was a lot of cab driver
Media I feel like yeah. Yeah, there used to be fashions or whatever. Oh, yeah
Yeah, it's to be more zeitgeisty and create the pre-ride share era
Yeah, and it was I knew New Yorkers are like ah being in a cab is crazy, right?
And so it was like one of those things that was yeah, there was a lot of trouble
Well, it was like one of those pockets in life like like an elevator ride or something like that, where you might hear some just insane bullshit from a stranger.
Yeah.
And so it had a little bit more novelty to it, but now we're just inundated with insane
bullshit from strangers nonstop on the internet.
So it's taken a little bit of its, you know, it's taken the sheen away from it a little
bit.
Can you back that taxi driver bullshit over the fucking internet bullshit?
Cabbies are fun to listen to occasionally.
Yeah, I like I look I would always like talking to cab drivers. You know, I like talking to strangers But if I get like a ride look, but the only this is the only way you like talking to strangers more than friends
The only situation I would find myself myself in a cab though would be like I
mean if I like the limited times I was in New York City and so it was just like and
I mean, like the limited times I was in New York City. And so it was just like, and the most of the time
you're not captive for long enough
to have much of a conversation
once you go to the airport or something.
I've talked about this before, but my experience with Subway,
I think maybe the first time I had it was on a vacation.
And it was either Florida, it might have been to Vegas.
And we pulled over and like, while we were driving somewhere.
So I think it may be Vegas and we got Subway.
Gotcha.
And I was a DeAngelo's boy growing up.
Why? Cause you now have been to DeAngelo's and you-
The R&B singer.
What's that?
What did you say?
The R&B singer.
Oh yeah.
Well, first of all, I was also a D'Angelo fan.
The most carefully framed music video.
Just like his pubes are just fairly below.
You just left that V below.
Exactly, yeah.
Shout out to Usher who had a great Super Bowl performance.
Wow.
Who do you root for in that?
That's like a...
During the halftime performance?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm rooting for Usher. I'm rooting for Usher.ime performance? Yeah, yeah. I'm a little bit more sure.
I'm sure.
I'm sure.
I got that 9-11 birthday.
I'm rooting for this guy.
That's kind of a, like a lesser of two evils with the chiefs and the 49ers for you.
I liked when small Jonathan came out there and was like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like that really like messed him up. Well, you didn't want to have his shirts off. They were just doing two music videos that day and they're like, someone's got to be shirts,
someone's got to be skins.
And he just, he was just like,
I want to go ride, like, all right,
I'll take my shirt off, fine.
John Popper was actually the shirt.
He was like, John Popper.
Yeah, he was like, oh.
Well, it's bringing you and you and I
back to like middle school P image.
But that would actually would have been
like summer camp shirts versus skins.
I was always so happy to get shirts.
I hate it anytime, anytime they were like, your skins, I was like, why are you fucking shitting me? I get the like. And then like John Popper, you'd have been like summer camp shirts versus skins. I was like, anytime, anytime they were like your skins, I was like,
Are you fucking shit me?
I know.
And then like John Popper, you'd have to run around.
Yeah.
Fuck, that was good.
It was really good.
Um, I would, I would always like, we're doing shirts for skins.
I would do the quick shirts.
Like I do one of those.
Yeah.
Shirts kid.
I would try.
I remember there was just like a few times.
I think it was like gym class,
which is also insane to think about like,
boys you're gonna play and then also some of your shirts
and some of your skins, which is,
that was probably Mr. Tagg, my gym coach,
what the fuck.
And you realize it's not even related to teams
and you're like, what's going on here?
Yeah, it's fucking me.
Your gym coach was named Mr. Tagg?
Yeah, Tagg Liri, I don't wanna talk shit
about my gym coach that I didn't like that much. Okay. He was a friend. The way he finished that was didn mr. Tag. Yeah Tagleria. Yeah, I don't want to talk shit about my gym coach that I didn't like that much
He was a friendly enough guy when I got older, but I didn't play baseball cuz I'm like
He's a very friendly guy whatever John Popper was one of the first
Sightings I saw in LA early on. I was like, yeah, I was in Santa Monica and I was like this John Popper looking one of the first sightings I saw in LA early on. Really?
Yeah, I was in Santa Monica and I was like,
is this John Popper looking?
Oh, it is.
Oh, wow.
That's a big one.
He was sitting outside on whatever,
just in front of a building, literally littered in harmonicas
like he always has with that vest.
Was he really?
Yeah, it was like, that's why I thought,
oh, look at this John Popper looking dude.
Then it was just him.
And I was like, well, I explained it or whatever.
But yeah, he was outside, like, I don't know,
hamming it up with some people.
That's right.
He must love it then, because like,
if you're gonna wear the uniform,
like he's not trying to be incognito.
I thought he could be a little contankerous,
but also, I don't know, he's a big guy
and probably people give him a lot of,
you know, I don't know, people give him shit.
Probably living in the spotlight, Wags.
He, it's not easy.
I love you saying cantankerous.
Why?
Oh, that's just a great word.
You don't be on-
I know the word.
You don't bust out the big vocabulary all that often.
Cantankerous is a big vocabulary word.
That's a great word.
To be on a calendar.
You don't bust out the big vocabulary so often.
Here's another word for you, condensation.
Wait.
You mean condescension?
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending.
Condescending. Condescending. Condescending. Condescending. Condescending. On the inside of the windows. Don't kind of sate me, man.
That was probably a joking elemental. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You thought it was backhanded. I guess I got a little contankers with you. Sure did. Anyway, shirts for skins is bad. We got to do a Doughboyz episode where it's shirts for skins.
But we got to talk about,
my point about Subway was that I had the Subway on the road.
Yes.
I love D'Angelo's.
You now like D'Angelo.
I do like D'Angelo, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
It's good.
It's a good, it's a good-
I was thinking about D'Angelo the other day
I was thinking about how much more I liked it than the other place we went in. Yeah, I was thinking I was watching the video
I know it's thinking how much the I liked it more than the other place we wanted the the beef place
We went in in Boston Kelly's roast beef
I was just better than Kelly's roast beef and I had the opposite expectations
Why don't they call it Kelly's heroes because Because that would be a good play on words.
That is good.
That's a good point.
A wasted opportunity.
Roast beefs are, they're a Boston,
there's bar pizza to the south.
Yeah, you can figure that shit's gonna be in the sandwich.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you're right.
But beefs fans will, there's-
Come to Willie's cheese's pizza.
I mean, there's beef fans, there's come to Willie's cheeses pizza. I mean that's There's beef fans. There's a there's a there's a Facebook group that will be so mad hearing this and
That group also their politics align with the right
There's a Facebook group out there. Let's reel it back
You said you said hero what is the Cincinnati regionalism you say hero you say grinder you say hoagie
Sandwich sandwich What is the Cincinnati regionalism? Do you say hero? You say grinder you say Hogi? A prize sandwich. Yeah, I don't know that's just because there really isn't one in subways the most like prom. Sure
There's like Penn Station and since I mean that's not read just to there
But like yeah sub sub sandwich probably sub I did they I do think it came more national partly because yeah, it's a good observation
Yeah, there was a funny thing. There's a convenience store called stop and go and Cincinnati shop stop and go and Clifton Heights and
But there's a police substation in it like Cincinnati police substation in it not the sandwich
But on the outside of the building it says Cincinnati police substation on it
And someone was one of my favorite little bits of street art that I saw it's probably just like a one-time person
But they just we pasted a big fucking hoagie next to the police substation.
Since I had police substation,
and it just looks like they sell sandwiches.
So people were walking in there
and trying to get a sandwich.
Right.
So Subway is the second largest chain restaurant
in the world, McDonald's is one, Starbucks is three.
It was the largest for a time, but it's interesting.
Number four, Jolly Bee?
Not sure, you know what, it's not Jolly Bee, but it's interesting. Number four, Jolly Bee? Not sure.
You know what?
It's not Jolly Bee, but I'd have to look it up.
I think number four might be KFC.
KFC is like huge in China.
So subway for me, when I tried it early on,
I was like, D'Angelo is great, subway, this sucks.
I think I got a meatball sub the first time I tried it.
I love subway when I first had it.
And all I would get was meatball subs.
Because I was like homeschooled from like
fourth through seventh grade.
I mean my older brother would just go up to Subway
all the time and get meatball sub, sub wedges.
We get sub wedges.
But the guy there, the manager is the same dude forever.
It was always like this one like manager
and then like punk rock kids or whatever who worked.
I was little, but it's like, they look crazy.
But like, but then they would call us the meatball gang
and we go up there.
Like, oh, the meatball gang's here.
And then I would get, I remember,
my older brother Adam would get like, you know,
stuff on a sandwich and I would just want meat and cheese.
And then he got stuff on.
I remember I got hip to lettuce, like, okay,
lettuce is things.
So I always put lettuce on my fucking meatball sandwich.
Oh my God.
Yeah, it would just be sauce and lettuce.
I thought it was like sophisticated to get like a topping.
Yeah, that was a dumb kid move. That dumb kid move that not to, not to insult
younger, but that's, that's, uh, that's, I mean, I think that I also did, I got
like meatball and cheese and D'Angelo just did, D'Angelo's did such a great
version of that.
Yes.
And then I, so I, and then when I went to college, there was a basically like a,
it was like a fake subway, but it was subway style that was in the building I was in.
So I ate it all the time. And then when I got out here, there was one right around the corner from my house.
So I ate subway quite a bit. And I grew to like it because you put on a bunch of toppings and you make it your own thing.
Also, the bread got like wider. The bread got better.
They used to do a V cut across the top, right?
Yeah.
And then that was much better, especially for the meatball sub, is they'd make a bread canal
and load in those eight meatballs and whatever,
and that was good.
But then somewhere like late 90s, early 2000s,
I switched it to just cutting the goddamn hoagie bun
like a hot dog.
And it's just like, no, man, sorry, Subway,
you're fucking up.
This has been going on for 20 something years now.
Why do you have your sub sandwich like a hot dog?
Because it is so lopsided, bread heavy on one side of the bite.
100%.
Like 100%.
Yeah.
The ratios of like meat and cheese and toppings to like bread and how they go down in your mouth is just like so out of whack.
Yeah.
It'd be like making a sandwich with two slices of bread and then just putting all your meat and shit on one side.
Yes.
Yeah.
The V cut is was key and that's a great point that they should not have gotten rid of that.
I don't know if they were just like trying not to waste your product. Is it's called the V cut. Yeah, I know what you're gonna talk about I
Know it well about the you're gonna talk about this clock
That's not what I was gonna talk about it's not no
But I should we should address the clock because this timer is insane the last episode we did is that I was like I was like
We're running.
Yeah, eventually.
We're, it's how many times Nick and I have bombed
on the episode.
Just ticks up once per set.
653 for my, for my,
No, so here's the issue.
And I don't know which of the head gum hunks
went to Spencer Gifts and bought this joke timer
as a prank for the dough boys.
I can picture it though. This timer. The head gum hunt, concoctinant to Spencer's gift. bought this joke timer as a prank for the dough boys. I can picture it though.
This timer.
The head gum concoctinant to Spencer's gift.
This is pretty funny.
This will be funny.
This shit's actually pretty funny in here.
I bet Wiger's gonna cry.
Oh shit.
A good little bad timer.
Is that a, is that, that's Cartman.
Oh my god.
Oh my god man.
Cartman's so funny.
Dude, Cartman's wild.
I love Cartman.
He's random.
Dude, I wouldn't want to be friends with him though.
I would, like he'd be weird to be friends with.
Dude, my boy from kick to be friends with him though. Like he'd be weird to be friends with.
Dude, my boy kicked from decade, what's up?
This timer is insane.
So we had a timer to clarify for everyone.
Last week we were-
I get why you almost didn't talk about it.
Yeah.
Well, this wasn't what I was gonna talk about specifically.
But I was gonna say, so this timer is,
I assumed we had this new timer last week.
I assumed every timer that I have ever encountered
in my life, it was hours, minutes, seconds, right?
And the other thing about the timer is,
and you can see me looking at it here,
but I'm not drilled into this timer.
I'm not like lockin' eyes with the timer, right?
I'm sort of stealing a glance, you know?
It's like you see-
I can feel it every time we do it, but yeah.
Yeah, but I just do a quick glance
just to see where we are in time.
Sure.
I did not realize that this timer works
with just has minutes and seconds.
So I'm just kind of glancing over there
just trying to make sure we're at time.
At a certain point, it says like one, zero, zero. I assume we're at the hour mark. We're at a hundred
minutes. So an hour and 40 minutes in the body. Yeah. You're
getting mad. Our guest is getting restless
understandably. Uh M and KC are like what's going on. I'm just
like locked into like we're doing great on time. It's only the
hour mark. We're not even at the segment yet. We're doing great.
And I had a lot of stuff going on. I was nervous about. You had a
lot of stuff going on. Yeah. So anyway, so anyway, it was, the timer was off.
I do owe you an apology and I owe our guests,
Emily, who she did an apology for keeping them so long
and I owe our staff an apology as always.
And I also owe Andre an apology for getting into the snap.
Rob Lowe, of course.
Rob Lowe, yeah, big time.
This is, but, but this is like,
you understand how I could be disoriented by this.
And you understand this is like completely foreign to what I could be disoriented by this. And you understand that this is like completely foreign
to what I was used to, timer wise.
Yeah. Yeah.
Sorry, I'm watching the Jake Johnson podcast behind you.
We're here to help.
I was like, that looks like Wally on the,
there's Jake.
This is like a special episode.
So we just reference visuals you can't see
even if you're watching the video version.
It's like, people just listen to audio version have always been fucked over when we talk about stuff you can only see, if you're watching the video version. It's like people just listen to audio version.
It's always been fucked over when we talk about stuff you can only see.
But I'm just gonna make sure you can't even see it when you're watching the video version.
Casey, will you tilt the camera so that they can see this?
Yeah, yeah, show.
All right, here we go.
This is what I'm watching right now.
Yeah.
Which by the way- This is a real Oz-like look behind the curtain.
Except use code DOBOYS with factor meals, not that.
Yeah, don't use that code.
Also, if you ever are watching the podcast
and you see me go, that's me waving to people
that are coming in or leaving.
That is basically what that is.
Not just your enthusiasm for greetings.
Yeah, just warming up.
It's not me remembering I'm on camera
and waving to people watching at home.
You practice it for the next time you see QT at the Vista.
We gotta fix some things.
We gotta get a new timer and we gotta get that TV off
because this is so distracting.
I'm not that distracted.
I'm not distracted.
You're not that distracted.
You just keep verbally referencing about the show.
I'm gonna jump about it.
I can not pay, I'm not watching silent TV instead of you.
You're locked in.
Well get the shades, you want shades in here.
I would love to get shades in here
that does not address the timer issue,
but it's an improvement.
Dear God, I can only imagine what the fucking
headgum people think of you.
You need bananas?
A timer that has hours on it and shades.
You're a freaking dork.
There should be more fresh fruit in the kitchen.
It's a reasonable request.
Dear God.
Everyone here had gum as lovely as us.
I had two drinks and now I went through both of them.
Should we take, do you want to take a break
and get a drink?
Is it, I could just go grab it.
I can go grab it.
Okay.
Then we'll keep it going.
We don't go to breaks anymore.
People have also been giving us.
You bring the GoPro into the kitchen
just so people know what we're talking about.
People have also been mad at us because we don't
go to breaks anymore.
They say it's jolting.
Because I don't throw to a break.
They don't know what's going on.
He's mad now.
I shouldn't have brought this up.
I am mad.
I shouldn't have brought it up.
This is going to split your audience, guys.
This is going to divide them.
You just knocked over a Navi figure.
I knocked over all the Navis.
They're all like, say na-vi-ah. Jollibee, by the way, the number 52 chain in terms of number of locations worldwide,
just after Wing Street and Chili's and just before Five Guys and Waffle House.
That makes sense, yeah.
But number four is, oh, you know what?
I'm not familiar with one.
This is a Chinese chain, Mixu Ice Cream and Tea. And then number five is... Probably big in China. That's? I'm not familiar with one. This is a Chinese chain mix you ice cream and tea and then number five in China
One might into it a number five is KFC. Okay, Jimmy freaking out as Emma's gone for just a few seconds. That is true
Thank you very much. Love we are truly to attach to each other. Oh, I'm sure but but you can the pronunciation on this one
But um, it translates to honey snow ice city. That sounds delight. I thought it was Kentucky fried chicken.
Okay, so we go back, we're back at Subway.
Yeah.
Not one of our.
I'm going to look on Redfin for a honey snow ice city.
It sounds fucking fantastic.
We have, so anyway, you mentioned Jared earlier.
This podcast has been going on for long enough where our first review in 2015 was before the Jared scandal.
Which, I already didn't like him, that's true, you know.
On the episode, you're like, I don't like that guy.
You thought there was something funny about him,
you ended up being right.
Well, also it's not impressive,
everybody wore fucking baggy pants in the 90s.
And anybody held up their pants from the 90s,
you'd have the same effect. So not impressed.
They're coming back.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
The big jeans were fun.
You could just tell he was a guy who was like,
I lost weight, now my time to shine.
I'm like, fuck you fucking asshole.
I lost weight in college
and I didn't get over the mental hurdles of it
and never had fun with it.
So fuck you for thinking you're cool. That's what I thought.
You know, so maybe you've been an internal stuff a little bit, but I was pretty sure that he was a perv.
Didn't shock me. Didn't shock me.
No, you're basically never going to fix your problems just by changing your body.
It's a lesson I've had to relearn throughout my life.
Yeah. I mean, I wonder, he's probably jacked in prison now
as my guest, right?
He's probably hitting the shower nonstop. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha So stupid, sorry. I loved it. One thing about Subway is it has been exposed as something of a Ponzi scheme that
traps largely immigrant franchise owners into these debt cycles.
And it's like kind of a nefarious, all these businesses suck, they're all run by monsters,
but this is one of the more nefarious and predatory franchising models.
100%, yeah.
What the monsters you and now they workatory franchising models. 100%, yeah.
What the monsters you and now they work at Monsters Inc. Yeah, it's funny that-
Wait, did I ever tell you my pitch?
No. I think it was a good picture picture.
For Jair, you trying to get them in something?
Yeah.
You could have a cameo in this, Austin, honestly.
Monsters Penitentiary.
Isn't that a good idea?
Oh, it's like a prison cemetery.
It's like a prison monsters,
the monsters franchise, monsters,
ink you they had, then they had monsters in the version.
So this is for like the monsters that monsters inky they had then they had
Monsters penitentiary the monsters who are so bad they're in monster jail. I had a cemetery into it Like I thought you were doing like a double play on words
Monsters penitentiary that's like a cemetery that is also like you know in the monsters world that could make sense
but what's challenging about monsters university is that it's a a college movie, but because it's a Pixar G rated
movie, it does not have drugs, alcohol or sex.
Body crama.
Yeah, it's not a body crama.
And that's the same sort of thing, like prison movie,
a very violent genre.
How do you do the fun kids version of a prison movie?
That's an interesting challenge.
Just call it time out.
There you go.
There's your kids prison movie.
Yeah, I don't, you don't wanna see.
Monster's Penitentiary.
You don't wanna see Monster Crim.
But also, Penitentiary, I think a part of your issue here is like,
Penitentiary is also, or you know, adult themed places.
Sure.
What's so much called?
It's called Monster Juvie.
Monster Juvie.
Monster Juvie's pretty good.
Now we're tired.
Monsters juvie.
Then they can just get in trouble with slingshots and shit like that, you know?
But they're monsters.
But also, this is my issue with it.
Yeah.
Isn't being a monster, isn't it good to be like scary and bad?
Or is this like a place where the ones that are like, these monsters take it too far?
I think maybe you learned through the course of the movie that
these monsters aren't so bad after all
I do say that it's a look it out for good the good service or whatever it's called. Yeah
Yeah, I'm spent or spent. Yeah, I'm served time served. Thank you
I think that there is I think that there is in this Pixar movie to show a bunch of
Monsters and then have a human CGI
Jared
Is very funny.
What do I think of the pitch?
I don't love it.
Okay.
If this is Shark Tank, I don't know if I'd invest 100%.
Sure.
But I do think there's something to it.
It just feels it feels tricky in the way that monsters you is tricky.
It was yeah. And that movie doesn't completely work, but I do like the idea of taking monsters
and putting them somewhere else.
Monsters and prisoners, I guess that is fun.
Just tossing the prompts,
AI will take care of it, we'll see how it works.
Well, it can be Mike and Sully wrongly convicted
and they have to go to monsters penitentiary.
That's fun.
And then it's just like, these guys are in trouble
and they're like, oh, we're scared of all the monsters,
but then it turns out the monsters are all like., can you get sent to prison for being scary enough?
You know what I mean like you know, they're not cutting it. Oh, that could be good
Yeah, well, that's what they find out that everyone else
There's only a ghost obviously haunt the monsters just have to go out and kind of be a dick the monsters scare children to steal their screams
To power their city. Yeah, and then they ultimately learn at the end that by making children laugh,
that's an even more powerful resource.
That's a harder job.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah.
Nick and I, it's actually the same thing
where no boys, like it runs our homes.
If...
When people don't react to us.
I took us on another needless tangent, I apologize.
So here's my-
So it wasn't the clock.
It wasn't the clock that you were gonna talk about.
I had something I was gonna talk about.
It was partly the clock, but it wasn't just-
It was the fucking clock.
It wasn't just the clock.
Are we talking subway?
We talking clocks?
We talking mystery subject?
What are we doing?
We're talking subway.
Here's my general note.
And this is just a note for all chains,
but for subwayway specifically.
Can I see the menu without clicking on a location?
Do I have to put in my zip code to see what's available to order at a restaurant?
I hate all the digital menus, shit.
I agree.
That's good as an addition, but I don't know why you're getting rid of physical media at
the place.
Or one of the menu news, McDonald's now has all the fancy, fancy, but digital menus, you're
about to like the third thing down. You're like, oh, yeah, you're about to like the third thing down
You're like why am I looking at a fucking chicken sandwich getting wet now or something?
You know what I mean?
It's like some weird like lettuce tossing through water and you're just like I just need I'm here. You got me
I don't need I don't need the I don't need the digital pageantry. Just like let me read
It's very frustrating and also I think that a part of it is that they like hey
Some of this stuff isn't available at this location or that location, but like, let me find that out on my own.
Show me what the regular menu is.
Well, also a lot of places,
now you go to some Shake Shacks or something like that,
not just them, but a lot of places.
I went to one in New York and like,
you didn't even like deal with a human.
There's a bunch of humans in there running around doing
whatever they're doing, preparing, I guess, online orders.
And it's just like bicycle messengers grabbing,
it's all Uber Eats.
And just like eating there is just like a side effect or something.
Yeah.
No, we're, we're stones throw from a, a relatively recent Shake Shack location
here in Silver Lake, that one has kiosk ordering.
Yeah.
And so it is a thing.
I like when they ask for a tip too on the kiosk.
It's like, for what?
I'm not trying to be a dick, but like, I just punched all the shit on your
greasy ass screen before I touch the food, you know, whatever, not to get all
germy about it, but it's just like, really?
Okay, cool. And then, uh, and then, whatever, not to get all germy about it. But it's just like, really? Okay, cool.
And then, and then I did all the work.
I walked to the counter.
Like, you know, like, yeah, they made it,
but it's like, that's the bare minimum.
Like, at the end of the day, it's like,
I'm not trying to not tip someone,
but like, I'm not gonna tip a goddamn kiosk,
like, like a fucking screen.
Like, I, at the end of the day,
I paid to drive here and paid for this food.
And I did all the business.
And then, what am I tipping for? We guys have a human food and I did all the business and then,
what am I tipping for?
We guys have a human interaction.
I think there's nothing,
I think that that is like corporations being dumb.
Yeah, and who does that go to?
How do I even know how that's allocated or whatever?
It's the shitty, look, look,
we always tip no matter the circumstances
because we do this podcast and that's like,
we understand that that's a, you know,
a big part of the show.
On your podcast, I every tower, I know, a big part of the show.
On your podcast, I Every Tower, I get it.
Yeah.
Don't be up here.
Looking down at everyone.
But no, but I agree that tip culture has gotten out of control and it's become exacerbated
by screens.
Yeah.
And it's become now an expectation that basically any interaction you are expected to, you know,
add 15 to 20 percent.
Yeah.
Everything's like front to your airlines now.
Yeah, and the thing that also sucks is I get exactly what you're saying.
You don't know where the money's going.
And so that becomes the thing of just like, well, I still feel obligated to do this.
Because in some cases it is going to them and in fact they're being paid sub minimum
wage and that's expected to supplement their income.
My argument to that though, which is true,
but it's like, they don't just live and breathe
in that fucking restaurant.
They gotta go other places and buy shit too,
and then they become prey to the same bullshit elsewhere.
I fully agree.
I'm not arguing with you just saying like,
that's to the-
The whole thing is completely out of control and sucks.
It's a bad situation that is one of these things
where the boss can put it off onto the consumer.
You can pawn off their labor costs onto the customer. It's very frustrating.
And I'm not anti-tip, but just this new...
No, I get it.
It's like transcended into this like stupidity zone or whatever.
I totally got your point.
Yeah, one of the things.
It feels more... When you're dealing with a person, it just feels a million times better.
And also just to hand them cash.
Well, also, like, isn't like the traditional idea of a tip is like good service?
Like, of course you give a tip anyway, but like, you know, like... I mean, this is a good point. This is also just a general America problem. Because yes, this does not have to be up to side.
I don't have the issue with the work for there.
Right.
No, 100%.
I mean, I saw a good pizza places and people just drop some bullshit in a cup, but I wasn't
all salty when they didn't give more for every, like, hey, like, handed you napkins.
How about three bucks?
Yeah.
No, like, I think that there is, I mean, there's also this, there's a lot of people that are
like, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't all salty like when they didn't give more for every like hey like handed you napkins how about three bucks you know like no like I think I think
that there is I mean there there's also the that this thing of you you also have
it's just expected that you have to tip because the wages that they make at
Shake Shack it are so low that then also like just to be clear I just hate the
little people and I want people to don't get paid well.
I want them to do poorly.
I don't think they deserve anything better.
I just want to make it absolutely clear
so no one misunderstands what I'm saying.
I know exactly what you're saying,
but this is like, this is another corporation issue of like,
oh, you're expecting to because then this like,
gives them a living wage.
But then also like, we're doing a thing
where it's all computers and we're trying to like,
make our business make more money.
Yes. And it's not fair to the customers or probably the people who work there.
Right, right.
Service is worse for the customer.
It's probably worse experience for the employee.
You're absolutely right.
And then everyone is being squeezed except for the people.
And then also tips coming so clearly through.
Especially the company.
They have note of every tip you get.
And how much are they taking?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a mess.
The world is a fucking mess.
Yeah, this is specifically an America issue,
but it does suck, and it's a frustration we have.
This is a reminder that when we think about,
like, the podcast is bad, the subject is bad,
well, you know, it sucks.
The guy flipping burgers was doing it over Zoom.
So, if I ever get my fucking food.
Speaking of Subway, we always offer the team lunch
as part of like, hey, we're going someplace.
Do you want anything?
This was the rare week where everyone said no.
Nobody wanted Subway.
Every person declined.
Yes, except for the three of us who were obligated
to eat it for content.
Nobody else wanted Subway.
I made the mistake of I got it yesterday for lunch
because I was just like, I'll get it.
Party.
I mean, well, and then we usually do eat it in here
the day of and I should have just checked,
but I was like, I need lunch.
I know this will get here quick.
I'll just do Subway.
And then I ate yesterday.
I have had stomach issues all day.
And I'm wondering, I'm like,
did this come from whatever?
I guess eating probably banana peppers or whatever
didn't help me.
But I'm like, is this just fucking shitty
subway food that's giving me the rumblies
more than anything else?
Yes, right.
But then I ate it, I came in here today feeling
my stomach was horrible, but I also had to eat
these new things from subway, which is the reason
we did this episode.
100% no, this is a topical thing, they're foot longkicks. They have a Cinnabon footlong churro,
the Anteans footlong pretzel, and the footlong cookie, which I think is the one that everyone
was excited about.
The cookies were brought us here today.
100%. We also got some other food, which we can just touch on real quick. I want to shout out
Amelia, who is a hero, and pick this stuff up, and then also made a separate trip
in the rain to go find the cookie
because it was not available at the first location.
We should have put a kibosh on it.
I guess she just did it on her own.
Yes.
So we didn't tell her to go do this.
No.
But I was just like.
Did it in the food?
I hope she did.
I hope she spit in our sandwiches.
Yeah.
Because when we got here, she had already gone off to get the cookie and it's raining and dangerous out
Yes, and just the idea to ever have to be like
Me only got into a car accident because she went to get a fucking sidekick. I know the most depressing thing
I would say if it was the cookie be worth it
If you got in a car accident, you'd get in the trailer or the pretzel rod or whatever, it would not have been worth it. We also got, Mitch, you got a tuna sub.
Andre, you got a cold cut combo.
I ordered the no breadie bowl, which is 8th.
I was like, I've had so many subway sandwiches in my life, why don't I try what they have?
They've had their salads forever, but this is like a newer version of that.
Unfortunately, it arrived in sandwich form and because I wanted the no breadie bowl as a salad
I specified all these vegetables spinach tomatoes cucumbers green peppers black olives
I also asked for extra sauce
And two types of sauces I asked for extra both of these houses because I'm thinking I'm like coating a bunch of iceberg lettuce
Two types of sauces, I asked for extra of both of these sauces, because I'm thinking I'm like coating a bunch of iceberg lettuce.
Instead, I got just like the wettest, most vegetable-laden sandwich I've ever had.
Your sandwich looked pretty swampy.
It was disgusting.
It was, you know what, it was like a meatball sub with lettuce on it,
but it was like a more extreme version of that.
I saw your sandwich, and then there was a little cave next to it,
and Yoda was in there.
Yeah.
I'm saying that's how sloppy he was.
He was in the cave next to the sandwich.
He saw a little X-Wing being raised up and then dropping in there.
So did you ate it?
After you saw the X-Wing raised up and fall back in, you still ate the sandwich?
Hungry I am. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha qualified as nutrition. So if you translate that Yoda line, yeah, maybe I am hungry.
That's kind of thing he says.
Uh, yeah, your sandwich looks bad.
I got, I got, I try to get yesterday I got one of my old classics.
And then today I got another old classic.
The way that I grew to like Subway, it was around the corner from my old house,
classic. The way that I grew to like Subway, it was around the corner from my old house, 645 South Citrus. Right around the corner from Citrus, there was a on Wilshire, there
on Wilshire, there was a fat burger. You say Wilshire. I said it weird. Okay. Wilshire.
On Wilshire. In New York and he goes to Houston Street.
I say that I say the street name's correct now.
I've been here for, I've been here for almost 20 years,
well like, 20 years next year.
That's crazy.
You're like Bill Simmons.
Get it.
The Boston guy who's now an LA guy.
He's also beefing with Pat McAfee I saw.
Oh boy.
Pat McAfee and Bill Simmons.
Wow.
It's like an alien versus predator sort of thing.
It's like va alien versus predator sort of thing. It's like vape versus cigarette. Yeah.
It's very accurate.
We want people to get mad at us this episode.
Yeah.
That's what we're asking for.
El Pollo Loco Fat Burger in Subway.
Yes.
I ate it Subway the most because I like the other two of course.
When you first moved to LA, you mean?
Yeah, and this is like a place that was, I mean, I probably ate it 7-11 the most, which was across the street.
Yeah, I used to go to 99th St. Or they had this fricacha bread and this old ham that I would get a lot.
It was like a pre-made sandwich or a risotto?
No, no, I'd get it separate. It was just like, yeah.
That's that was that was I mean, like that was it was, you
know, like $7 for a $5 foot long as they did a lot of. Oh,
yeah. So, so I mean, like, I would get the $5 foot long. And
I would the way I grew to like subway was Turkey, Swiss
toasted. This is when the toasting came around. Yeah,
destroyed quiz nose. Yes.
Onions and... Quiznos like our sandwiches suck, but we eat them up.
Yeah, that was...
Then they didn't have anything.
It was a replicable gimmick.
And then...
Subway just put toasting ovens in all their restaurants.
Quiznos also had shitty drinks.
They were just like warm 20 ounces.
Yes.
They do have bad drinks.
It's like diet Pepsi and it would be like a weird...
One of those dumb Pepsi's with a silver label
and I don't know what this is.
Yeah, the Quiznos had a lot of problems,
but now in hindsight, look, I grew to like it
just because I got that Turkey Swiss,
onions and a ton of vinegar toasted.
Yes.
And they were toasting sandwiches at this point.
Now Jersey Mike's makes a good sub sandwich.
Yeah, they're the only good chain I think for sub sandwiches.
Yeah, and they just blow. Get it Mike's way. Mike's way, they blow it out. I mean, the only good chain, I think, for sub sandwich. Yeah. And they just blows.
Get it Mike's way.
Mike's way.
They blow it out.
I mean, it blows it blows it blows subway out of the water.
Yeah.
That being said, I got another one of my favorites
that I started to do as I went to Subway is a tuna sandwich.
I got that with pepper jack cheese.
Supposed to be toasted.
I don't know if it was.
Lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, jalapenos,
and what's it called, banana peppers,
which then I got in here and I couldn't barely eat any of it
because I had so much hot stuff under my stomach,
it's messed up.
That was another go-to.
And yesterday I got the Buffalo chicken sub.
All of, both of mine were on white Italian bread.
And I did, it's basically like a buffalo,
like it comes with Frank's Red Hot
and then ranch dressing on it. And then- No,. Like it comes with Frank's red hot and then ranch
dressing on it. And then that's the same thing I got in my buffalo. Let us let us tomato, onion,
and banana peppers. That's what I did yesterday. And I'll say this. I ate the sub yesterday. I was
like, this is pretty good. I've had stomach problems since then. But I was like, this is like,
this is fine. You know, like this, if you're this is like a work lunch and you gotta eat
quick, it's fine. And then today, the same thing, Emma, you had a bite
of that tuna sandwich, you said you never tried it before.
It's pretty, it was, it's not, it's not a, it's not a bad
sandwich, cause, and I think so much of it is like,
you add a bunch of stuff onto it and it's, and it's not,
you know, you can make it taste decent with all the vegetables.
I think a lot of Subway is not bad, it's just not good.
Yeah.
It's not, it is not good. But the thing I do love there, we talked about earlier, is that I'm a big
proponent of, and I think it's way underrated, is their cookies. The cookies are good. And this
was a- Chocolate chip oatmeal, not chocolate chip oatmeal, but chocolate chip oatmeal,
those are my two go-tos. Those are so good. This was a smart call on your part, which is that we
were getting the footlong cookie and you got some regular cookies
as a control group.
Yeah.
And I think the, first off, how was your sandwich?
It was good.
I just got the cold cut combo with some,
whatever, tomato and onion or something,
and avocado on it.
It was like neutral.
It was fine.
But I tore some of the bread off just because
the bread is like, that's the hassle.
Like it's just like, it's not that good.
Yeah, it's so dense and flavorless.
And Jersey Mike's bread is great.
Oh yeah, it destroys it.
I mean like, it just destroys it. It laps it, yeah. It's just like, it's not that good. Yeah, it's so dense and ridiculous. And Jersey Mike's bread is great. Oh yeah, it destroys it. I mean, like, it just destroys it.
It laps it, yeah, it's just easy.
So we got the foot-long cookie,
we got some regular cookies,
we also got the churro and the pretzel.
I think we all preferred the actual cookies
to the foot-long cookie,
but we liked the foot-long cookie.
Yeah, it's so much thicker, you know what I'm saying?
It is, yeah. Like, it just hits differently. But, it's so much thicker. It is, yeah.
It's just like, it just hits differently.
But, oh yeah, and we talked about this in there.
I didn't do this until a few years ago.
I was in New Zealand and I went to Subway, as you said,
it's one of the most popular chains in the world.
That's true.
And I got cookies and they were like,
give me heat them up.
And I was like, oh yes, I didn't think of that.
And then I was like, I'm doing that every time I go to Subway.
So anyway, I recommend if you go to Subway, ask them to heat heat your cookies up. It's really good. Yeah, that's a great
We try to heat one up today. You put it in for 20 seconds. Was it yeah, I fucked it up
I was I didn't know I miss I'm not a sandwich artist
Technically and then I put it in the microwave and I put it on the little like waxy
Whatever folder they give you the cookie and yeah, and then a peg and then when I took it out
There's literally smoke rising like you normally don't get stuff come out of the
microwave smoke coming out of it but something I think it was 20 or 25 seconds
and it's not long I would say that the cookie was nearly on fire I guess yes
there was dark smoke coming out of the center of the cookie and I think it was
because the oils caught whatever had a combusted yeah so I guess only micro
in for 10 seconds or use a toaster oven.
Yeah.
It looks like it with the cooking being exercised.
It looks like some, an evil spirit was coming out.
I almost brought a toaster oven with me today,
but I can't remember like if a subway did toaster
or microwave, because I think I've done both
each time I've gone.
They heat up the meat in the microwave
and then they toast it.
Which is also already you're like,
Jersey Mike's has a flat top grill.
You know what I mean?
Like what are we doing here?
Like that's yesterday with the grilled chicken I had.
I'm like, okay, this is grilled chicken
that was heated up in a microwave
and then dumped onto my sandwich.
It's not, that's not, that doesn't cut it.
It's not good, you know?
But I think that the new foot long cookie,
that's a worthwhile addition.
And it stays in theme with subway
And it's like the cookies are already there. Why not make a foot long business the same
Ingredients like you said they're just trying to utilize whatever they already got but then the anti-ans thing
Yes, that was awful. So that's I was saying after if you're a kid after school you go to subway you get a foot long cookie
That's fun. Yeah, that's awesome. It's great. You're back at your little kid. You're back in school again
You're thrilled you go in and get a foot long dream
What a dream. Yeah, this makes me feel a lot less worse rather than take my shirt off in gym class
What's the damage on the foot long cookie $5 great quite it was $5 yes
Yeah, it was actually have the prices right here the foot long cookie is $5 the pretzel is $3 and the churro is only $2
The pretzel they should give you $3 to take that. Yeah.
The pretzel, yes.
The cookie, I'd say is a success for Subway.
Yeah.
The other two huge failures.
Suck.
The pretzel, I got it yesterday.
That's the only thing I got yesterday.
One, one of the issues is that it comes with a side
of honey mustard, which like,
why is that your one dipping sauce?
What the fuck are you doing?
Give me a cheese dip.
Now they're not gonna do that because they don't actually me a cheese dip. Now they're not gonna do that
cause they don't actually stock a cheese dip.
So they're like, what do we already have?
And so it became honey mustard.
But give me, like, how about a yellow mustard on it?
Some body crema. Let me choose.
There you go.
Can I tell you, I had an idea yesterday.
Yeah.
Tell me what you think of this.
I think that they could, I think this might be a multi-task.
It's like Monster's Inc, but it's in a prison.
I, it's be a multi-times. It's like Monster's Inc., but it's in a prison. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's monsters workshop is for you. Monsters workshop, monsters holiday. Monsters holiday.
I thought of this idea to sell up movie theaters.
Monsters vacation, let's do hotel Transylvania.
Okay, we'll talk about it afterwards.
It's called monsters ball.
Actually, I was going to say monsters cruise, but also hotel Transylvania.
They actually won in a cruise ship in one of them.
Gods and monsters, no, that's all soul.
Yeah, that's true.
Let me just say this idea.
Sure, sure, sure.
It's like Monster Energy drink.
It's just like.
It's like.
It's like.
At a movie theater, you get a popcorn,
you put butter on it.
What's the issue?
You get halfway through, oh shit,
there's no more butter on this popcorn.
I supposed it's tossed the shit when you put the butter in it.
You should toss it in there, but what if movie theater sold a little side of butter, a little
butter packet.
You don't get to get up and re-butter your popcorn.
That's fun.
It's a warm packet.
It's going to stay nice and loose during the movie.
Yeah.
You eat halfway through, you open it, you just pour it on your popcorn.
That's a good idea
Sell it for a buck. They should have something called bottom butter
Bottom butter probably already exists
This it might be something like a packet at the bottom of the bucket like it's driving
Maybe this isn't a good idea, but I'll finish my thought and then but the heat of the popcorn dissolves the packaging and it just I
Love this. Yeah, it was a better. Yeah, I think that we honestly think we may have
butter bombs little pieces of butter throughout the pop. I better name that melts as you fill
up the popcorn. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. How about you get activated? How about
here's an idea? How about you cut a hole in the bottom of the popcorn container? Kind of sneak your meat up there. All right, go.
Continue.
Count off during Monsters University.
Here's the deal.
Good luck hitting the shower from there.
The AMC locker showers.
Both Navi have fallen face first.
Yeah.
We've killed the Navi over the course of this episode.
Is this a Toy Story situation?
Oh man.
Came to live just long enough to die.
They wanted to leave so bad
that they risked getting seen moving and died.
For audio listeners, we have Navi figurines
on the tables in front of us.
Can you see these on the video version?
Okay, okay, thank God.
Speaking of butter, that pretzel should have been more buttery.
Each one I got two days in a row, it was like bad bread.
It just tasted like a stiff, fucking horrible pretzel.
That's what I was gonna say, you said more buttery.
How about more pretzeli?
It's not pretzeli at all, it's just a log of dough.
It's got some pretzel themed aesthetics,
but like it's not, yeah, it doesn't taste like a pretzel.
Like if someone's like, just put this in your mouth,
you'd be like, okay, this piece of bread.
Exactly, yeah, it tastes like a hot dog bite.
A little salty bread.
Auntie Ann, shame on you.
I gotta say.
I think this is, look, I think it's probably mostly
something's right.
It's like I got Krispy Kreme
and they bring you a fucking plain bagel.
Exactly, yeah.
It's like the, it's Antion's fault, it's Subway's fault.
But like if you agree to this cross promotion, you've got to make sure that
your product is going to be well represented and whoever is going to take ownership of it.
And the foot-long cookies are selling out like crazy we found out.
Yes, right.
Yeah.
Amelia had to go out and weather the storm to get one.
I only go to Subway for the cookies. So of course
That's gonna set online was part of the issue
You can't like online order the cookie anymore cuz too many people were getting it
So you have to go to a physical you physically have to go to the store to get it and hope they have it clearly a success
We thought the churro if you got the churro the churro by the time we had it was a little cool
Yeah, but we thought it was pretty decent. It's a little like a churro from Subway should taste like right.
Like good enough. You know,
would you heat up one of the churros? Can we try a warm one?
Yeah.
It's right next to watch.
You hand it to the churro.
Apolio loco has some pretty decent churros for fast.
I mean, that's the point that way.
But there used to be a local there.
But now it's what is a green bucket or what it's called the.
Oh, it's yeah, it's sweet green. Sweet green.
Yeah. I know the sunset.
Apolioollo Local gone.
Yeah.
Another brand that's hurting.
Another local shop moved out.
Here's my one note about the churro, which I agree is fine.
And it's the cheapest item on the menu.
It is co-branded with Cinnabon.
Give me that Cinnabon dip and sauce.
Where's my sweet icing?
Where's my, where's my, where's my, my, my little
carafe of, of my little, my little ramekin of flesh crema. That's such a
Cinnabon signature. That, that sweet white sauce.
The flesh crema, I didn't realize he said that. I was, I was watching the
David Crosses podcast. Locked into other podcasts.
He looks like Michael Steip.
And we're at the 98 minute mark. That's it. So like that's it like
that's throwing me off. That's an hour and eight minutes. There was also a
mission impossible commercial. Hour and a half and eight minutes. Yeah, I'm on top of it.
But see that's the issue. Like at a glance it doesn't read in the same way.
That's not how we're used to looking at a time. Look, from America we don't have to
count and read and shit. This is complicated. Give me the normal. Give us the normal give us the normal give us the normal bring back the old timer
Thank you, Casey. Don't talk about Celsius ever
The old timer that I think you have to have plugged in constantly not a good thing for you
It's fine. It makes no difference to me. Can I get it back to the hunks take it down?
He's gonna be one of the hunks will be happy to go back to Spencer's give.
It's probably a fucking blast over there.
I can get this a Cartman figure.
I was a tip for cookies at subway.
I haven't done it in ages, but I used to do it for a long time.
Yeah, I would go in
and I would say how much does it cost for the broken cookies?
And, you know, I was living in that little box.
Sometimes I'm sure two things would happen. Either they'd say, oh, here, just buy one cookie. I'll give you all the broken cookies. And you know, I was letting in that little box. Sometimes you're broken. Oh, sure. And two things would happen. Either they'd say, oh, here, just buy one cookie. I'll
give you all the broken cookies for free. Wow.
Oh, shit. What a surprise. And then I would take them. Or they would just say, oh, I'll
just give them to you. I'll just put them in a bag. And that worked for years. So I've
done it a while, so it might not work anymore, but it worked for ever.
That's a great tip.
I did it all through high school and college. And for a while, I only stopped like maybe eight years ago
doing that or something like that.
I don't know.
So you still are getting the Subway cookies?
We're gonna try this more.
Yeah, yeah, no, all the time.
If I ever have like a special occasion or something like,
like, not like an occasion, well, I guess, yeah,
if I went, what am I saying?
The microwave still smells like burnt cookies.
You wanna do a wishbone?
See if it's the bigger side?
Oh, well, we're both, I got my own little piece,
but like it's a play game, god damn it. All right. Well, that was pretty 50. Whoa, that's the bigger side. Oh, we're both, I got my own little piece, but like I'm just gonna crank. Well, look at the play game, God damn it.
All right.
Well, that was pretty 50.
Whoa, that's pretty even.
That's just barely.
Yeah, I think you win.
It's like the intent on top of a building being tall
doesn't really count, but it technically does.
By the way, Jenner's not the most food motivated dog,
but has complete disinterest in the Subway chur.
Yeah, no, no, no, no.
I'm good.
You lost a length game, that's not normal for you.
All right.
That's pretty good. That's good. You lost a length game. That's not normal for you. All right.
That's pretty good.
That's fine.
You got the wisdom toe.
This is way better, warmer.
Yeah.
I mean, that microwaved it into more of a little chewiness, but, or lack of chewiness, I should
say more of a gumminess, but.
If these came out, if this came out warm, I mean.
The microwave really brings the flavor out.
I mean, and they're probably artist microwaving, is my guess.
Maybe they use the toaster to eat these up.
This is definitely, the pretzel is the worst.
This is the issue.
I can't believe how much cinnamon I got in my hands.
It's about one bite.
Do you see how shiny this shit is?
Go to a cinnamon.
Like I just got lotioned up or something.
The pretzel is the worst.
You need to hurry body cream in the shower.
We can figure out how to separate these favorite towels.
There you go.
The pretzel is the worst by far.
The pretzel is the worst, the churro's fine,
and we gotta get to our fork scores for the second time.
And then the cookie, the cookies, the cookies hit.
Look at this!
Cookies good.
You're like you got a fucking wood shop.
You get cinnamon all over your pants.
That was just there the whole time.
Whatever.
It's like P-Rose going into first base.
This is a regular Tuesday for me.
I don't care.
So, Andre, here's how this work will each go around.
Give our closing argument on this visit to Subway, and end that by giving
a score from zero to five forks.
Your guest will begin with you.
Your thoughts, your fork score.
So this is everything together?
Yeah.
I mean, if you want to rate individual components, feel free.
I'm going to rate the cookies separately, just because in all fairness, that was the thing
of the day.
I'd give the big cookie 3.5.
Wow.
And then because it tasted like the cookie,
just wasn't as good as the regular cookie.
Regular cookie would have been a five.
What would you give your sandwich?
Eh.
Well, expectations is met, five,
but like actual enjoyment,
3.8. 2.8, 2.8 for us. And then of everything together. Yeah, 2.8.
2.8, 2.8 force.
And then of everything together.
Yeah, including the cookies.
Because the sandwiches, sandwiches.
The sandwiches were okay.
They were as expected.
I didn't think they were that good.
But that's as good as they are.
So, hard to say.
You can't go into like fast and furious
and be like, it wasn't a Coen Brothers movie.
It's like, well, you're a fucking idiot
for thinking it would be. Yeah, sure know sure yeah and fairness to what it is
like
That but the big dud the big dud was that pretzel thing the pretzel rod whatever and the churro is like alright
It's obviously what we just talked about and then and then the cookie was good. I had a five
I'd say two point five maybe because Because it meets expectations and some was below.
Yeah, sure.
Jeremy just jumped on the couch with me.
Very cute as well, you know.
I think that's a very appropriate fork score.
Like I said, I didn't like Subway to start off.
I was like, what is this?
This is no D'Angelo, you know?
This is nothing.
This is not good.
Then they started to toast their subs.
I moved next door to one.
I figured out how to make subway good for me, which I think a lot of it is, is like,
if you're in, if you're in rush and you need it, when I was at the birthday boys'
house, a couple of members from crud in there, uh, no members of crud too, but a
couple of members of crud in that, in that house, uh, Hanford, uh, Ferguson and
Qualic, um, who, by the way, we like, when you're talking about mascots going a littleford Ferguson and Qualic.
Who by the way, when you're talking about mascots going a little crazy, ever since Qualic dressed up
as the Noyde, he's just been like,
it's just kind of a little too big for his britches.
But I would get Subway so much every night
when we were writing and I just get that stupid turkey sub
toasted with onion and the vinegar.
And I do think that like if you're making your own sub and you're putting toppings on,
you can make something that's passable.
It's not great.
Sure.
It's like a three or three and a half.
But overall as a chain, it feels like it's crazy that it's number two, number two, right?
Yes.
It's receded a little bit, but it's number two.
I mean, it feels like a dying chain, doesn't it?
I mean, it might be.
I'm sure Jersey Mike's is.
Well, it was like the healthier fast food option for a while,
but then Chipotle kind of stole its thunder a little bit.
Yeah.
Not Chipotle's a little on its way out.
I don't know what's in now, just more bullshit.
We have to give tips to robots, but like,
that's just real red.
Well, I also think Jersey Mike's is like,
I think that the calorie difference is probably not that great between the two right?
You're getting us fucking sandwich anyways and the cost difference. Yeah, it's like it's not that much between you could spend about as much
Of a subways you can at a firehouse subs. It's like it's not a car. I don't like I think it's alright
I went there once I guess they screwed up my order. I said no mayonnaise and they thought oh
He must want a butload of mayonnaise. Oh man, and that then that's just how I was just stuck with this mayonnaiseed out chicken sandwich.
That's a nightmare.
I'm OK.
I think Jersey.
Dusty like the churros, too, the bread there.
Yeah, it is a little bit.
I think Jersey Mike's is a place that does it well.
And it has made Subway kind of what's it called.
Adequate.
An adequate.
Relevant.
I can't believe.
It doesn't really occupy a spot.
I can't believe I just was bragging about knowing words. it doesn't really occupy a spot. I can't believe I just
It doesn't really occupy you you are both correct It doesn't really occupy a clear slot in the marketplace anymore like it's been a serpant that had the healthy department
Now I guess the up starts are like places like sweet green
And then it's been a lapped in the sandwich department. Everybody's talking about Subway not a fan of Jared still.
Sure.
You know, I haven't since the last subway record,
I haven't changed my mind.
I'm a pretty awful guy.
Still a fan.
And you know, I feel like that's,
it's kind of funny that that, not funny,
but that tarnished the, you know,
like I feel like the brand has never recovered
since then, the world's changed, he got arrested, they've never really
figured their thing out. I think these cookies are probably one of the smartest
things that they've done in a while. They really vet the Olympians they have on
to talk about Subway now. They're like, you're not a total creepy fucking monster, are you?
Okay, you just ice skate, all right.
Hey, Barkley, I think Barkley, Charles Barkley is one of the people they got now.
Oh yeah, they got a lot of NBA guys, yeah.
But, and they've been pushing like, we're getting like, it's fresher.
We're like, we're cutting the meat in shop.
That's what they say now.
But I got that buffalo chicken sandwich yesterday.
It was still fucking microwaved chicken for sure, you know, like there's-
Yeah, oh, I can say it.
When my friend worked at Subway, we used to go there after hours and,
I mean, this is some newsflash,
I should say it's not fresh,
so like fresh baked bread.
They come in these like frozen rods.
Yeah, oh yeah.
And they're just like brown or light brown or white
or what depending on what type of bread it is.
But I remember when we were there,
do you remember that movie, Powder?
By the like Albino Electric Kid?
Oh yeah, yeah.
You could like See the Future or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
We would take.
I wanted to be of shirts for skins, honestly,
when I saw powder.
Directed by a sex criminal.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it's Jared themed still.
So it was a very sophisticated joke we would do.
We would do a bit when we were in the back kitchen of Subway
and we would grab one of the white rods
and we'd be like, look, it's powder's boner.
It's powder's dick.
And then, and then, and then, like chase each other
around the kitchen in Subway. And then, and then, and then I was like chasing each other around the kitchen in the subway.
And then, and then as they like warmed up
to room temperature, it would get flaccid.
And it's like, look, powder lust is boner,
powder lust is boner.
And then we used to go there and we would,
I mean, I grew up and did this to me in there,
like today I'd still love it.
I think that's,
That's a very funny bit.
Fucking great.
Yeah.
But then we would eat sandwiches obviously.
Then I remember my friend was like,
oh shit, they started counting bread. So then we would have sandwiches, obviously. Then I remember my friend was like, oh, shit, they started counting bread.
So then we'd have to eat day old bread.
Then after a few weeks of that, they're like, they're starting to sell the fucking day old
bread like weird, like, it was fucking weird selling day old bread.
Of course.
I weighed on the side.
They started doing that.
So we would just get bean ball subs and we'd put all the contents of the meat ball sub
in a cup and we'd call it a cup of yobbis, which is subway backwards.
And then just for like a year, we'd eat cups of meatballs, which was pretty good and cookies.
Yeah, that's great.
And then after my friend quit working there, he went in to get his last paycheck and it
was back when they still had the sub club cards where they'd put stamps on it to get
free subway card, you know, free sub after whatever, 10 visits.
And when they went in the back to get his check, he reached over the counter and grabbed
the full like 32 ounce like paper cup filled with cards that customers had given and just
took it and put it in his jacket.
And then he was very generous with it. So we had free subway for another year
And then we ran out of that he went in just as a customer and stole the cup again
So for years I
So the years when I got a lot free subway and when I like subway really worked out well
Does Jared still have his black subway car because they they said that he had one that was like,
free Subway for life.
Do you think that it's been revoked?
Do you think it will still work when he's out of prison?
There's no way it works.
But he might still physically have it.
Do you think when he collects his prison items
it will be amongst them?
Yeah, they're like, here's your street clothes
and your forever life Subway card.
So for my fork score, look.
Thanks Dan for all the free shit.
Sorry, Subway managers.
I mean Dan, not his last name.
It's hard for me because I don't really root for Subway either, but it was for a short
period of time.
It was a nice thing to have in my life, but I think I'm gonna go with our guest wise.
I think I could even go two forks maybe.
I think I go two and a quarter forks.
I do think that the cookies are good.
It's a balance of like, did I meet my low expectations?
Pretty much the bread thing was,
the pretzel, all the bread thing was that's,
I can't even think of it as a pretzel, it's so low.
So bad.
And the cookies save it. Like I just remembered now, I've got those two oatmeal cookies to go that I didn't
even get to.
Yeah.
That excites me.
They're good.
The cookies are good.
And we, we, we, we heated up, we, we, we did heat up another cook, another
chocolate chip cookie.
Yeah.
And this one didn't catch on fire.
And it was, it was better than the loaf, but the loaf, I think is like a gimmicky
thing and it's like, oh, it looks like the sub.
I think it works.
Yeah.
But that kind of works. get rid of the pretzel
or add cheese and make it taste better.
Yeah, you pointed at the churro.
It's a, so you go two and a quarter forks.
That's right.
I'm gonna go lower.
I mean, last week we talked about whole foods
and I did not like our Whole Foods buffet experience.
Did you go to the one on Glendale Boulevard?
I did, yeah.
Yeah, that has got the worst goddamn hot bar.
Yeah.
Any other Whole Foods is better.
That one, it looks like the desert flats got sweaty
and that's what most of the food looks like.
It's like some weird orange thing or some green thing.
You're saying, all right.
It was a bad experience.
That reflects the meal that we had there.
And you're saying that that was so much better than today?
Well, I don't know.
I think I liked it better than today. How do you feel? To me, that's a
pretty clear pitch, Coach. But also, I had a really bad sandwich, whereas I think
the two of you had like okayed a normal Subway sandwich. Yeah, yours looked the
worst. Mine was really rough, but I feel weird one forking it because I
feel like the cookies do push it up a little bit.
And I do think that foot-long cookie is a gimmick that works,
and maybe that's the way the direction they want to go as a chain is like,
you know what, let's do more gimmicky stuff.
I think so.
Let's do more big promotions like this.
They should just become a bakery.
That's an interesting idea.
Subway bakery is very funny.
Minus the bread.
I don't have any reason to go to Subway unless we're covering it for the podcast.
I know that it's like, it's everywhere.
That's one advantage of it, like Starbucks, that you bake with us.
It's everywhere.
And also it is pretty affordable as the price of everything has gone up.
So it's one of the more affordable fast food options
that you can at least approximate something helpful.
So I get that it has its place for some people, not for me.
I'm gonna put it in the same spot
as Whole Foods last week, one and a half forks.
I think that's where it belongs.
I think that's what this experience was.
That's gonna be mostly for me,
if I'm listening for the cookies.
I mean, yours, your sandwich was so bad.
I get it.
Yes.
But yeah, their cookies are so good.
Like I said, I go there, like if I like a premier,
if I worked really hard on something,
just finished like a cut of something,
I'm like, I'm gonna give myself a subway cookie.
That's like my treat.
That's such a fun treat.
That's a good one.
It's so cheap and it always hits.
No, that's the thing that almost makes me want,
like not want to go less and always like,
it is like relatively cheap still.
Yeah. Like it's, you, bring back love it's.
Oh, yeah.
Love it's fun.
They should do that again.
That was fun.
I saw him at the Apple Pan one time.
Whoa.
And he was just I went in there and he is just like for people that on the Apple Pan is just an old
timey burger place that just says a counter.
It can feel like maybe eight people in there.
Great spot.
And he went in there and I was like, oh, it's John Lovitz and he just looked miserable.
Wow.
And there's no more to the story.
Oh.
He just like bummed out his hell, yeah.
Was he by himself?
It appeared to be, yeah.
I'm doing a show with him tomorrow night,
the RFK Juniors.
I'll tell him I said, hey.
Oh.
RFK Juniors comedy bash.
Oh yeah, I saw that, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I got it out of the last minute.
I got to have a good show, yeah.
I can't make it, but I'll send some money.
Yeah, thank you, thanks, Wikes.
We can just connect the Patreon to the wire account.
The My VK account, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, that was our review of Subway.
It's time for a segment.
I've got a mystery pie and Mitch and Andre
must divine a series of clues to ID this sweet treat It's another edition of pie in this guy
I started eating pie pie which one is in this guy baked up pastry that was tasty
But a mystery which I and Andre and Mitch
Given it's their best try guessing this will be the type of this pie.
This will be the type of this pie.
Should have gone up an octave.
Okay, so this is pie in the sky.
The clues go from more obscure to more obvious.
We're also only at an hour 15, so we stretch it out.
Doesn't that fuck you up at a glance?
Look at the space between the one and the other one.
Doesn't that look like an hour 15?
Considering the old timer was an hour and then minutes,
I get it, it was...
Considering the old timer and every timer I've ever seen in my life
was an hour's minute second time.
I have a perception of time, so I know it's been like two hours
and not just an hour.
You're right, there's no break between the one and the one and the five.
It's disorienting. Yeah. Anyway, and the one and the five.
It's disorienting.
Yeah.
Anyway, this is pie in the sky.
So here's how this goes.
I have a series of clues, then you can figure out, you can guess what this pie is.
The way the...
I'm gonna shoot him.
Alright, Andre's bringing the timer over.
I'm talking about how people out here, sorry, listeners, you're still fucked, but...
This is the director's mistake.
There we go.
We got the insert. Okay, cool, thank you. Sorry, I was just gonna talk, but this is what it looks like.
There we go, we got the insert.
Okay, cool, thank you.
The clues will go from more obscure to more obvious, so we'll start with a harder clue
and then they'll get easier as we progress.
You have two lifelines.
The smell test, you can do a blind smell of the pie, and the other lifeline is ask Emma.
You can ask Emma for what she thinks.
So this is not where the pie came from,
but what type of pie it is.
What type of pie it is, yes, yes.
The pie is in the room, so.
The pie is in the room.
I'll say this, going second is like
you can win a lot of the time.
You get to choose whether you go first or second.
It starts with the hardest clue,
but they get more obvious.
But if you get it early, then you win.
So Andre, it falls, dude.
You wanna go first or second?
I wanna go first just because I wanna go blind. Okay, here we go. You know what I mean? So you're asking me falls, dude. You want to go first or second? I want to go first, because I want to go blind.
Okay, here we go. You know what I mean? So, you're asking me
questions, I'm not eating it?
I'll give you clues. Okay.
And then you can guess what it is, and the winner gets to
keep the pie. And by the way, it is a whole pie today. It's
generally a slice and is a whole pie. Okay. First up. The
same European region is home to three Nobel Prize winners for physics and this sweet pie
Varian cream pie Wow Andre you have one pie in the sky Wow I
Can't believe I'm first
Congratulations, thank you. I'm Stein. I. Thank you. I was at Einstein, I was like Germany,
a varying, there we go.
There you go.
What was clue number two?
A certain breakfast mascot would wanna sink his teeth
into the main ingredient of this sweet pie.
That's harder, I think.
You think it's harder?
A certain cereal mascot?
Count Chocula.
Sink his teeth.
So Bavarian cream pie?
Here's the third one.
Alec Baldwin's wife is named Hilaria.
This sweet pie's home area also includes area
also spelled with an I.
I think I would have gotten it at three.
You would have gotten it at three, yeah, okay.
I mean, I-
And I would have gotten it at one.
No, I'm sorry, to be fair,
I think I would have gotten it at one.
You would have gotten it at one.
I think I would have maybe guessed Bavarian cream pie. I gotta work in one, so it's blue. No, I'm sorry, to be fair, I think I would have gotten it at one. You would have gotten it at one. I think I would have maybe guessed Bavarian cream pie.
I gotta work on this,
because I thought that was part of the whole skew.
I'm glad I went first then.
No, you didn't, Gray.
Congratulations.
I gotta figure out how to make these clues
a little bit more interesting.
You won the pie.
You won the pie, congratulations.
Oh, you win the pie.
You get to take it somewhere else.
You get to take the pie.
Yes, all yours.
Okay.
Where is it from, Wise?
Can we hear about the pie?
It's a Bavarian cream pie from House of Pies.
Oh, okay. Oh, fuck.
It's from Vermont.
That's it. It's from Vermont Avenue.
That was pie in the sky, just like a restaurant
about your feedback. Let's open up the feedback.
Today's email is from Evan.
The song was longer than the fucking contest.
What happens when you have a guest just fucking
hit a home run off the first pitch?
Damn. Like Eric Davis, game one, 1990 baby.
Is baseball your number one or is it?
It's football bangles.
I guess the ones I watched the most, I'd say NFL number one, baseball close number two.
NBA is like kind of a little distant third and hockey's a distant fourth.
We had two major franchises that would be in the Cincinnati.
The Reds and the Bengals, yeah.
I used to be-
Cincinnati in?
Yeah, yeah.
Baseball was number one for me for so long
and then NFL and NBA are probably like one.
NBA's got closer to me.
It was got to different iterations
as interest over the years.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm a Molnia fan of the NBA.
Um, I used to, I used to follow the NFL though.
Who are you?
Are you a Cavs fan?
Who are you?
I like the Cavs just because yeah, I was like a Bearcats fan.
Sure.
And back to our LA Clippers vs.
Layers like since Danny has two big college teams, Xavier and UC.
And I was from Clifton, which is where UC is from.
Or at least I spent a lot of my growing up and so I'd go UC.
But I support both of them,
unless they're playing each other,
then I go Bearcats in the Crosstown Shootout,
which they mostly lose.
I think that's very wholesome.
Yeah.
I like that a lot.
And I love Bob Huggins and his DUIs.
What is with college coaches?
So many sort of prayed.
Just like a restaurant value feedback,
let's open up the feedback.
Today's email is from Evan.
Evan writes,
in terms of normal restaurant seating,
how would you rank booth, counter, including bar seating,
diner counter, sushi counter, et cetera.
I'm sorry, that's all one category.
Counter includes bar seating, diner counter,
sushi counter, et cetera.
And booth?
What the fuck is this question?
It's just asking like,
how would you like to sit in a restaurant basically, right?
I know what happened. Really right? I know what happened.
I know what happened.
Evan wrote Evan meant to write Booth, Counter and Table, but actually wrote Booth, Counter and Booth.
Like diners, drivins and dives.
Yes, yeah.
Wait, is this Susser?
No, it's not Susser.
No.
If it was Susser, he'd show up and ask the question in person.
Then leave with a pie.
And get somewhere.
Yeah, he'd steal your pie.
And this is an Evan, okay, how would you rank
Booth, Counter, and Booth?
I think I would say Booth, Counter, Table.
Okay, there they fix it.
Counter can be a lot of fun and in specific cases,
EG Sushi is my favorite, I agree there.
I think Booth wins overall though,
for its comfort and privacy,
tables kind of suck, although 90 degree table seating
on a date is a good move. Here's the first thing I will say if I'm love it's in I'm a single diner. I will take the counter
That's the spot. Yeah. Yeah, and let's try to get work done or something
But and and me and I sometimes will go and we will grab two counter seats or two bar seats like we're happy
So sugar or no next to each other more than two people fuck the counter
Right, right, right more than two more than two
At table or actually a boot I mean a booth. I'll be it's gotta be sometimes when you get the counter
And that's the end of the counter and then you can have three people
Someone a little like knocked out on the third. It's true, but you're right the corners the better spot
Here's my deal. I'm gonna throw toss in the big guy conundrum
Big guy. That's a good point in in booths. Everyone is always like let's get a booth and I'm gonna toss in the big guy conundrum. Big guys. Yeah, that's a good point. In booths, everyone is always like,
let's get a booth and I'm like,
this is a booth and the fucking table
is right up against my fucking belly.
I'm not gonna like the booth.
I don't like the booth.
I'm like, it happens, I'm a big guy,
but also like, there's bigger guys than me,
but it happens a lot more than me.
That's like Jared ate all those sandwiches.
He's like, ate all those sandwiches.
He's like candy booths.
Especially you go to like an older historic restaurant,
and it's like kind of like this was built for a slimmer populace.
And yeah, I feel really crammed in there and see those.
That's a fair point against the booth.
Like Cafe 101, which is now Clark Street time, right?
Yeah, if you go to Cafe FEMA, the booth are tiny.
Cafe FEMA?
Yeah. Is that like a, hold on, I think I can get that.
I feel like I made a-
There's small rations, smaller people like that.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm tagging on to what he was talking about, you know?
I feel dumb now.
I saw Sorcerer, by the way, Casey.
Oh, it's great.
It's great.
I still haven't seen it. That poster with the car on the bridge looks nuts, but I'm
looking forward to it.
I loved it.
It was great.
It was, I joked about Casey, he was trying to leave the podcast to go see it.
I mean, we keep everyone here for too long.
We do.
For those listening, you're right.
Sorcerer has nothing to do with what we're talking about.
Except the runtime is probably right around where I see. I see. Okay.
Sorcerer though oddly does have to tie in with what I was going to talk about.
What the fuck?
Well, get it.
It's not my whole life. And I've been this far.
I can't spoil. I also I came up with a good parody song.
What is it?
We were wasting time.
It's like American pie, but it's about eating pies.
I want to hear it. parody song. What is it? We were wasting time. It's like American Pie, but it's about eating pies. Oh, my God.
That is good.
I want to hear it.
Yeah.
If I had a million collars, I'd buy you a leash.
Oh, fuck.
So what's the comment there? It's like a dog song.
Oh, sure, yeah.
If I had a million collars, I'd buy you leashes.
I think dogs mostly don't like leashes.
What's this?
It's this band bear naked doggy.
Thank you for punching that on me.
Jason Priestley is actually shooting a documentary about it. Thank you for punching that on me.
Jason Priestley is actually shooting a documentary about it.
I think I go counter booth table if I have to pick.
I go counter booth table, wow.
And this is just for you eating solo or with?
Well with now, I mean like we oftentimes, like if I have to make a choice, I think I will say probably I like the counter the most.
I think I had the exact opposite of what you just did.
I think I do table booth counter.
I go table, no, no, I go booth table counter.
Yeah.
Booths, and there are some roomy booths to be fair.
I was just optioned to counter the other night
at Fred 62, across from House of Pies, across the street,
and I was like, I'll go outside under a heat lamp
and a booth for a table.
I guess I took table over the counter inside.
So I definitely know I go table over counter.
What about outside versus inside
since we've opened up that counter?
Is this neutral nice weather or bullshit?
Good weather, it's fine weather.
I go outside.
I think you go outside.
I like the people watching, I like the breeze.
It depends, I sometimes don't like,
I don't like eating outside just for like bug reasons.
Yeah, that's an issue. That's what Mitch calls homeless people.
Pre-tasteless Mitch.
I told you this on our walks. This is between you and me.
How does this keep heightening? If I had a million collars, it was pretty good.
I gotta say though.
Bye, you, Elise.
For Angelino's and speaking of pie,
and now Fred's 62 and House of Pies
where my championship pie came from.
Fred's 62 pie sucks.
Yeah.
They've got blueberry and apple,
and it's just gelatinous blueberry bullshit goo.
I like the food there, but the pie is.
I'll some pies across the street,
which is kind of more of a, like a,
kind of a seedy little diner.
I mean, I like it a lot.
Yeah, yeah.
But you go in there and you're like, oh, it's kind of like,
you know, it's probably seen better days or whatever.
Yeah, it looks like pie the same way it did in like 1986.
Yeah.
Which is great.
But the peanut butter pie there is exceptional.
The pies at House of Pies are great.
In fact, that's from House of Pies got me pretty excited.
Yeah.
You're lucky as hell, honestly.
I never, I always just try to give it to the guests.
This is true.
Yes.
I do usually give the pies to the guests.
Sometimes I'm like, we should open that up and try it here.
This is one I'm jealous of.
This is one I probably would take.
But we want to split a slice in there.
What a nice gesture.
Or I'll give you a whole slice.
If you have a question or comment about the world
of chain restaurants, you can email us
at feedback at birdfuck.com or leave us a voicemail
at 830 Godot.
That's 830-463-684-4.
I was gonna talk about the timer,
but there was another thing I was going to talk about
to get into the timer.
And this is the thing.
I mentioned Sorcerer.
I finished my tactician play through Baldur's Gate 3.
This is-
This is huge.
It is huge.
You know what, only 3% of Steam players
have finished it on tactician.
This is like at the end of Sixth Sense, if the twist was that Bruce Willis was playing
Baldur's Gate 3.
Yeah, pretty much.
Anyway, Honor Mode is next, but I love that game.
The Baldur's Gate 3.
I'm assuming it's a video game?
It's Baldur's Gate 3, yeah, and it is a... Baldur Dash. What is it? I'm assuming it's a video game. It's Baldur's Gate 3.
Yeah, and it is a...
Baldur Dash is his own thing.
Baldur's Gate 3, yeah, it is a role-playing game with seemingly infinite branching possibilities.
At least it feels that way to the player.
And you want it?
There's so many things you can do.
And you want it?
Yeah, I finished it.
I finished it twice.
This is the second playthrough on Hard Difficult Day.
It's a great experience.
You can play a sorcerer in it.
Oh, okay, got it.
Well, that about wraps things up here on The Go Boys.
Andre Highland, thank you so much for being here.
All right, welcome.
What a treat.
Thank you for having me.
This is so fun.
I had a delight talking to you.
Do you have anything you'd like to plug?
Shit.
I know there's something probably, God dang it. You're gonna have you're gonna have a movie coming
out soon. Yeah. Oh, I'm in a movie called Bad Man. I don't
know. I just finished shooting it. So, look for that. It's me
and uh, Sean William Scott. Oh, that's cool. And Rob Riggles
in it. Oh, that's awesome. Yeah. So, look for that and then
and look for your movie coming out in the next year or so.
Yeah, my new movie coming out. I directed a new movie but I
it's not been released anywhere yet or wait on whatever. Wait on. It's like early going, so like that'll be a minute.
What else? I don't know. I'm the worst at this shit.
Yeah, that's good.
Google my name, there'll be some shit there. Look at my Instagram. There you go.
The Andre Highland on Instagram.
Watch the Bengal Barrel video.
Yeah, Bengal Barrel. Yeah.
Thank you so much for being here. We have one more bit of business.
We have something to plug ourselves, Mitch.
That's right, watch. Which is,
next week, the tournament of Chompions begins.
That's right.
The most amazing competition in all
of chain restaurant podcasting, Munch Madness 2024.
And it's time to reveal the logo.
Emma Casey, if you will, please display the logo.
I should be right behind you.
On the monitor and screen.
It's coming.
Here it is.
I'm like looking like this is a dream.
There's a random meow?
It sounded like we were purring.
I mean, yeah.
That was a joke.
Still the same logo.
Same logo is up.
Oh, I remember someone else was like,
I can plug while we're doing our tech challenges.
I'll be at the SAG Awards on Saturday.
Oh, hell yeah.
The nominated for Best Comedy Ensemble for Barry.
Hell yeah.
That's awesome.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thanks, Bill Hader.
Okay, here we go. Passcode 623 awesome. Congratulations. Thank you. Thanks, Bill Hader. Okay, here we go.
Passcode 6238.
Okay.
Here it is.
Oh my God, it's kind of here.
Here it is.
Here it is.
We can announce this year's tournament of champions is,
for whom the bell does, Munch Madness 2024,
the tournament of champions nine,
Doe Kierrow talk Obell, a tournament with the entire Toc-O-Bel menu.
Seasoned beef.
Seasoned beef may be added to the end of this.
Seasoned beef.
Wow.
We could stamp seasoned beef right here at the bottom.
Yeah.
I like the way you got the Baja blast.
That's appropriate.
Man, that cheese gore needed a crunch.
And then we got Wally and Irma in shawawa costumes. How cute is that?
That's very cute. Shout out to Chris Van Arts Daelin,
of course, for making that art. Honestly,
two heavy hitters
in the tournament. I'm not gonna tip
my hat at all, but those are two big
items. You got Rob Lowe. Who's the other?
Rob Lowe is a guest on
every tournament episode.
Much madness 2024. The turn of champions 9 9
Doe Kiaro talk O bell. I had to read it off of the screen starts on Tuesday in the Doughboys double and continues all much long
Wow, look for it then until next time for the spoon man Mike Mitchell. I'm Nick Weigar. Happy eating fresh
And now let's throw it to our ad Chad Killian
Happy eating, eat fresh. And now let's throw it to our ad-chat Killian.
Hello, Doe.
Killian the ad-chat here, reminding you as always
that Doe Boys is produced by Emma Erdbrink,
associate produced by Amelia Marino,
engineered by Casey Donahue,
and video edited by Mike Dorfman.
Want to watch this episode?
Subscribe to our YouTube channel, Doe Boys Podcast.
Doe Boys' t-shirts, hats, pint glasses, and more are available exclusively from kinshipgoodsviabirdfuck.com.
On the next Doe Boyz Double, let the Tournament of Champions IX, Do Quiero, Taco Bell, unofficially
officially kicks off with an unsanctioned sauce competition.
Sauce Boss.
Guest Gen D'Angelo pushes the boys around and helps determine which savory Taco Bell
liquid will be dubbed Sauce Queen.
Get the Do Boys double every Tuesday, plus the entire pre-headgum-back catalog
only at Patreon.com slash Doughboys.
And for all my self-identifying chats and Stacey's,
stay tasty.
[♪upbeat music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-credits music playing-cred