Doughboys - UNLOCKED! Chili's with Eva Anderson
Episode Date: January 4, 2024Unlocked and free for all! On the premiere episode of Doughboys, fast food chain connoisseurs Mike Mitchell and Nick Wiger discuss Chili's with guest Eva Anderson!Get ad-free episodes at patr...eon.com/doughboysGet Doughboys merch at doughboys.kinshipgoods.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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in Meadow Road in Dallas.
Levine modeled its menu and atmosphere off of his passion for a Texas tradition, the
Chilli Cook-Off.
Forty years later, this simple roadhouse grill has blossomed into a multinational corporation,
with over 1,500 locations in places such as Egypt, Taiwan,
and El Salvador.
Though purist cry foul, this restaurant chain
is most responsible for popularizing
Tex-Mex cuisine, introducing dishes such as fajitas
and baby-back ribs to the masses.
Today on Do Boys, we're talking chilies. So is the Dono Wars!
Dono Wars!
Welcome to the show everyone, welcome to Dono Boys.
My name is Nick Weiger alongside my co-host Mike Mitchell.
Mitch, how are you doing?
I'm doing well.
That was like a beautiful poetry
of the way you just said.
Thank you, I appreciate it.
Yeah, you know, I mean, I think we want to add a little bit
of gravitas to what we're doing.
This is a podcast, is there a inaugural episode?
And this is a podcast about chain restaurants,
which is a passion of both Mitch and myself.
And each episode will be tackling a different chain restaurant
in this episode for our first one.
We're talking about chilies, which I think is a,
I'd say one of the main ones.
Wouldn't it mean is the right word to use?
I think I would like to say it's kind of
a well-respected chain restaurant.
If I kind of had a summit up,
I feel like a lot of people like chilies,
when I told people I was going to Chili's
Everyone's like, oh Chilly's is great. You know, it's kind of the response I got from it
So I think that this one is it's a good one to start off on. I think it's a if you asked people
You know if this was family feud and you said chain restaurants
I think Chili's might be one of the first ones out of people's mouth. I think it would be the number one spot
Yeah, I think now I may be number two or three, but it would be it would be the number one spot. Yeah, I think maybe number two or three,
but it would be up there.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
I would think there, I know.
I'm not trying to undercut you.
I think it could be the number one.
No, you're right.
It would be two or three.
It might also be two or three.
I'm anywhere from one to three,
I think is where Chili's could fall in the family theater.
Nick is a writer for the family.
You're a spare time.
Let us introduce our guest. She is a writer for your the worst on FX and soon
to be on FXX and comedy bang bang on IFC. Very funny person and a dear friend, Eva Anderson.
Hello, Eva. Hi there. Eva, thank you so much for doing our first episode. We're so happy
to have you. Oh, I'm so pleased and honored to be here. I'm so excited.
We were, Mitch and I were talking to one reason we thought of you is because we're talking about chain restaurants,
which is such a big thing of Americana, but I think we also think of you, and I'm not sure if there's your perception of yourself,
but we think of you as one of the more cultured people we know.
Ooh, thanks.
Yes, I agree with that.
I mean, you are very cultured then also. I feel like everyone we know. Ooh, thanks. Yes, I agree with that.
I mean, you are very cultured then also.
I feel like everyone we know is very uncultured too.
Yeah, so you really shine amongst the people I know.
Oh, that's a flatter, thank you, man.
So how do you generally speaking,
like how do you feel about chain restaurants?
I actually really like them a lot.
I have a really, I don't go to them a lot,
but I grew up for a lot of my life
in the suburban sprawl outside of Seattle,
kind of the area where Microsoft is.
And so it was one of those places
where it was really exciting to go to
a chain restaurant and it was like a big family thing
or it's where you would hang out with your friends
after school if you were around hanging around late at night.
I didn't drink or do drugs or have sex.
So I pretty much just went to Red Robin with my friends
or Denny's.
And then in LA, I think we have some laws
that make it more difficult to open chain restaurants
in the LA area that franchises.
Yeah, I don't know how much of that is legal and how much of that is just like the economics
of it, but I've noticed as LA residents, when we want to go to a chain restaurant, it's
like a drive.
Like, you can't, in the LA metropolitan area, for me, it's like I gotta go 40 minutes if I wanna go to,
like a restaurant that would have been a 10 minute drive
for my house in Palm Beach, California.
I would say that this chile was located in Encina.
So it was a little bit of a drive.
And maybe these days in the future
will be looked upon like Prohibition was,
like people will be upset that now there will be chain restaurants like prohibition was, you know, like a few will be upset that
like now there will be chain restaurants in every corner in Hollywood. Actually, there
could be, you know, Hollywood has a lot of like, like, just chains that are just like nothing,
kind of like garbage, post apocalyptic, kind of like.
Who does he mean are like different? Just like, just like big chains, like, you know,
I told you, I went to little Caesars the other day. Yeah.
And that entire strip,
there is not, it's on, I think,
what a Santa Monica Boulevard,
which no one knows, but who cares?
And it's this huge, huge strip.
And literally, the only thing I can see
that has lights on and looks like it's active
is the Little Caesars.
And everything else is just kind of like defunct.
Yeah.
Which is also sad, sorry for bringing it off.
Oh.
It's like a sad say, but it is that kind of weird thing of like, why isn't there a big
chileys right in the heart of town?
Like I think people would love it.
There's a hard rock cafe in Hollywood.
Yeah, that's, I think the one stretch where you will get it is sort of this Hollywood
in Highland stretch where it's like a, it is sort of this Hollywood and Highland stretch
where it's like a, which is kind of the touristy Hollywood
Boulevard area.
Yeah.
And that'll be places where, but the change you'll see there
are like the Hard Rock Cafe.
I think there's a Rolling Stone rip off of the Hard Rock Cafe.
Am I right about that?
Oh, man.
I think, yeah, and then there's a, there's a Sammy Hagar's
Cabo Wabbo Cantina. There's one of those. But yeah, there aren't, I don And then there's a Sammy Hagar's Kabalwabo Cantina.
There's one of those.
But yeah, there aren't,
I don't think there's like the more mainstream chains
that you may be all finding the suburbs.
Yeah.
But if you're in Times Square,
you can go to Olive Garden.
You can go to the tallest TGI Fridays in the world,
which I spend a lot of time at.
Plus, you can go to things that like our future chains,
like Gai Fieri's American Bar and Grill, which I spend a lot of time at. Plus, you can go to things that like our future chains, like Giffy Aries, American, bar and grill,
which I went to.
And also, last time I was in New York,
I went there by myself and I went to the Cake Boss restaurant
by myself.
Oh, do they just serve cake at the Cake Boss?
Yeah, it's just a bakery,
but it has a big statue of him.
And there's a scary themed bar in restaurant called TimeScare.
Oh, what's TimeScare?
It has a haunted house all year round in it, and it's just a spooky bar.
I get to say that in the last few years, we've really extended Halloween stuff.
Like, you know, there was always like Halloween stores, but now you can really, you can get
your scares in 24, 7, 365.
No matter what, you can get a scare, whenever you want it,
there's always some scary stuff going on.
It's strange to me, right?
Like, I feel like the walking dead got really big
as a show, and now there's like, kind of like,
there's a maze in New York City,
you can go to it, like you were saying,
and they're in Vegas, they have the scare thing
where they blindfold you and put you through,
it's interesting to me, but it doesn't have to do with food.
But I'm surprised by the persistence of haunted hay rides.
Like, it feels like an old-timey tradition that should have died out.
And people, it's 2015 and people are going on haunted hay rides all the time.
The one endless in the Incherforth Park is terrifying.
I've heard it's good.
It's one of those scariest things at Halloween.
That's why Mark Cuban invested for Shark Tank actually.
Oh yeah.
He truly, truly did.
Wait, are you sure he didn't, sorry,
are you sure he didn't invest in the Great American Camp out?
He probably, it was the same people who did the hay ride
that were there, like, in their case sharks,
we got something for you and then like,
zombies came out and they were all the sharks were scared
and the sharks don't usually get scared,
so it was a big moment. Anyway
Um...
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Rocket money.com slash doe boys and cancel doe boys. I want to say that for me,
Chili's is kind of a big deal for the reason in that it was kind of the first
chain I really went to or even thought about like when people were like,
oh there's like a Chili's I think in brain tree or something.
And I was like, oh, crazy.
And they have like buffalo fingers and stuff like that.
And so it was kind of a,
it was kind of my first real experience
with like a huge, huge chain.
And the besides like, you know, Chuck E. Chees
that kind of brought it into the adult realm for me.
So that was a reason why it kind of stands out in my mind.
Well, you and I were talking earlier, Mitch.
And you had like, that was like,
because you're from Quincy, Massachusetts.
Yes.
And that was like a big,
like, Chili's was kind of the big thing there, right?
Well, or is this a more of a personal thing?
I don't know if Quincy officially has a Chili's,
they have a TGI Friday's.
Okay.
But in Ithaca.
Oh, this is where you went to college, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I went to Ithaca in upstate New York
and a chileys open there, I think like my sophomore year.
And we went to chileys like quite a bit.
And I like remember it fondly,
which is maybe like a sad state for my college experience
that I was like, I liked those days of going to chileys
with my friends and like eating the chips
and getting like frozen margaritas.
But it was a place we went to quite a bit.
And it was like there's not a lot to do in Ithaca, so maybe that's a part of it.
And it was just this kind of like I felt like an adult and was drinking margaritas and watching basketball games.
It was a blast.
So it was kind of it holds a little spot in my heart.
I really I love the place.
So.
Well, let's get into it.
Let's talk about Chili.
So Eva, you went recently.
You went on a trip this past week, correct?
Yes.
Tell us about your experience.
I went with, I had the same thing happen where I told the people
at my job that I was going to Chili's for a podcast
and one of the writers, Shane went, I love Chili's, look can I come with you?
So he drove an hour, it was an hour drive
from downtown at Rush Hour to get to Chili's in the rain.
Apologies.
No, no, it's great.
And then we got there and you want me just break down my trip?
Go for it.
Okay, so yeah, so we got inside, it was six o'clock,
it was pretty empty.
We sat at our at our little booth. They only had little booths. And I ordered a skinny margarita and he ordered a giant beer, one of the house
brews. Maybe they had a house brews. He'd ordered some beer. And then we noticed the first thing that popped out, of course,
could we talk about the Z-Osc?
I think we have to.
Yeah, this is, so if you haven't been to Chili's
in the past few years, I'm not sure how recent
of an innovation this is, it feels pretty recent.
But the new feature on the table scape is the Z-Osc,
which is it's basically a tablet on a stand
that allows a party to order a limited number of things
from the menu.
You still mostly order from your server, but I think you can order dessert from the Ziasque.
And then it also has some touchscreen features like you can play Bejouled on it.
And it also serves the purpose of when you pay your check at the end of the meal, you
have to use the Z-Osc.
You don't pay your server anymore.
So it's a little strange.
I'm not sure if you had the same thing from your server, but our waiter at some point
said, here's the Z-Osc.
This is going to make my job obsolete.
He said those words.
Yeah, he did.
And he was kind of like laughing about it.
And then I was also like, it's kind of true.
Yeah, he messed up.
It really, it's like a, like they're trying it out
while they still have waiters there,
and then you can kind of see the writing on the wall,
I guess if you work there.
There's a button on it that says,
there's a couple of things I liked about it.
One of the, one of it was that,
because you have a menu, and then you,
there's pictures in the menu and descriptions of the food,
but then the same, there's also pictures
of the same food on the z-osk, but you can't order it there. You can just like look at it. And
next to the descriptions of the kind of longer descriptions of the food, there's a button
that says read less if you just don't want to read. Which I liked. And then.
But every American loves that. And then there is a button to reorder drinks, but it's kind
of tiny. And our waitress, who is very nice, she didnorder drinks, but it's kind of tiny and our waitress who was very nice
She didn't joke, but she just kept coming by me like do you want more drinks?
Because maybe you didn't see the button on the thing so she was still asking us we wanted more drinks
Because the z-ask wasn't like it didn't totally do the job of being the main thing that you used to get more drinks
I guess yeah, you need like an orientation I feel the Z-Osc, it's like a little complicated
and things are hidden in sub menus.
Yeah.
And they were, I didn't even know about this.
We tried to use the Z-Osc, and I didn't even know about that you could reorder drinks from
it.
I had no idea about that.
It was hidden in the corner.
We used it to play trivia against people in, I believe, other chilies around the country.
Oh, wow.
Oh, my God. And you could watch them in real-time play trivia. Oh, you have to see them?
No, no, you saw their names. Oh, okay
I was really I was grossed out to be thinking of seeing like other American eating
But they weren't good at it
They're they're we were doing the health and fitness category, there were like a million categories and mostly sports.
When the health and fitness categories are a lot of normal questions and then one of them,
like, you know, what person won the gold medal for this sport or whatever.
And then one of them just was like half of a sense.
It was just like, new kind of spin class.
I mean, I was just sort of like, it's like someone just didn't write the whole question. It was really weird. And then there's a bunch of apps you could play like Glance vs.
Zombies. What? My friend noticed when he got up was he walked around and said there
were a lot of solo diners and they were playing games on the Z-Osc. So what it kind of
is I think is like a screen if you're just like you can't deal with eating chilies by yourself.
But I don't understand because like it costs money to play those games, right?
There's like a nominal fee.
It's 99 cents for the z-osk for the whole meal.
So it's 99 cents to use the z-osk and I feel like I guess if you don't, why wouldn't
you just use your phone?
Almost all the apps you can have on your phone.
Yeah, so I don't quite understand the utility of it,
but I don't know, I guess it's working for them.
It is very strange that I think
like part of the reason people go
to like a full service casual restaurant
like a chiles is for a little bit of hospitality.
And I think it makes the whole experience a little colder.
It is, but the world is getting colder,
and I kind of like,
the world is getting colder?
I don't know.
Oh no, it's getting warmer, literally, but I'm saying,
emotionally, emotionally, and soon robots
are gonna do stuff like that.
And I think we should, I don't know,
if a part of me kind of thinks it's cool
that they're tackling it a little bit,
like soon food will come out from a robot. And I think that's cool and kind of thinks it's cool that they're tackling it a little bit like like soon food will come
out like from a robot and I think that's cool and kind of jets and like jets and jets and
jetsons ask but I feel like yeah you're right there's always that thing of hey I need to
pay in cash or I need to do this or that and and also just talking to a human being. Although I feel like our guy was joking so much.
And I think I preferred the Ziasque to our server.
Not to be a jerk, he was a nice man,
but he was, he was, it's a full disclosure, right?
Jack Alice in my roommate called the head to Chili's
as a joke to tell him that two reviewers were coming.
So when we got there, I think they were looking for two guys
and they were like, is your booth like up to standard?
And we were like, yeah, the booth is fine.
Everything is good and he will never do that again,
but I had to get that off my chest
because Jack did do that.
Jack shouldn't have done that.
I know, I know.
I think we've got a pretty fair experience
of what it was overall anyways.
Like I also don't think that they cared at all.
Yeah.
Yeah, what are you,
what are you reviewing at this point?
What, how can you hurt them?
Yeah, I think Jack said that the response to him calling
was kind of like what?
And then, okay.
And then he was like, do you have any suggestions?
And the guy was like, our burgers are good.
Like, didn't really give like any real thing.
So, but I had to get off my chest.
It was something that Jack did,
but I don't think, I don't think it made
our experience any different.
I don't think it didn't feel like
it contaminated the experience.
It did not, no.
So let's talk about the food.
So, what did you order, Eva?
Well, we ordered the two for 20 special, which is a dinner special where you get for $20,
one appetizer and two full-size entrees off of specific lists. So we got fried pickles as our
appetizer. And then Shane got the half rackrock of Baby Back Ribs,
original style, and I got Chipotle Honey Chicken Crispers.
Got you.
So those are like a chicken tenders with sort of a ghost.
A douse.
With a dousing of a thing.
Let's start with the apps,
because you had the fried pickles.
We got a three-way apps,
so we got the Krispy Cheddar Bites,
which are a recent addition to the menu.
As I believe the fried pickles are, too.
They're newer apps.
We got the boneless Buffalo wings,
which are a Chili's Classic.
I think they were the first franchise
to have boneless wings.
Yeah.
And I think they do it pretty well.
They do a great job with their boneless wings.
I really think that they're great.
In other places, they sometimes get kind of too slimy,
like coated in buffalo sauce.
They do a good job.
I think the issue with boneless wings is that a lot of times they lose kind of the textural
quality of eating like a wings.
And I feel like they retain it a little bit with whatever breading they do at chilies.
And then we also got the Southwest egg rolls, which I think are another kind of chili signature.
What did you think of the fried pickles?
I was disappointed.
I found them very underdone.
They were white.
They didn't even have any really golden brown coating.
Wait, like the outside was white?
Yeah, it was not what you want your fried pickle to be.
And they were coins, which I prefer a spear on a fried pickle.
I should have seen that in the photo and just chosen differently, but I did the fried
pickle.
The buttermilk dipping sauce was fine,
but overall I found the pickles a little underwhelming.
With our triple combo, we got three dipping sauces,
and I think for until we were 90% done with them,
we thought they were three of the same sauce.
They were just like three different white,
like creamy, different, you know,
salad dressings basically.
And eventually Mitch figured out that one of the three
was blue cheese and not buttermilk, a ranch.
The other two could have been different.
We're still not sure.
They were like, they were just white.
And they were good.
I liked every dip that was there.
But it was just kind of a, you know, just a white gloop,
like a ranch slash, whatever sauce, buttermilk.
There's a lot of shit in there, who knows.
I had a similar to my similar action
to the crispy cheddar bites.
They weren't prepared incorrectly.
They were nice and golden brown,
but they were just a little bit of an underwhelming.
Like they were just, I think, globs of mozzarella
with some sort of coating on the outside.
Not even cheddar? Oh, I guess they were just, I think, globs of mozzarella with some sort of coating on the outside.
Not even cheddar?
Oh, I guess they were cheddar.
They would say it's said cheddar.
I don't know.
They tasted like mozzarella to be.
They for all of our Midwest listeners,
they reminded me there's no listeners yet.
But they were some way.
They reminded me a lot of cheese curds.
They were kind of like,
they reminded me of like,
when I went to Wisconsin and had cheese curds. They were, and, they were just kind of like, they reminded me of like when I went to Wisconsin
and had cheese curds.
They were, and they were good.
They were just, you know, like terribly bad for you.
But we kind of, we wofed those down.
We, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we, we got through them.
Yeah.
We got through them.
Yeah.
Um, and then, uh, uh, uh,
uh, boneless swings we talked about, uh, uh,
uh, southwest a girls.
What did you think, Mitch?
I enjoyed them.
I know that Nick really burned his mouth when he ate one of the
southwest egg rolls
and maybe he can take some points off of that,
but they're good.
I'm not really a big egg roll guy.
Oh, you are?
I'm not.
No, I don't know, especially just vegetable egg rolls.
I'm like, I don't know.
You don't like fusion egg rolls, really?
I like, if there's a little chicken in there or something
which these do have, I enjoy them.
And I kind of like this more because it's like a
Tex-Mex, like corn and black beans and stuff, but like a traditional Chinese egg roll,
that's just kind of like the vegetables, veggie egg roll. It's not my favorite thing in
the world.
These are pretty far removed from egg rolls though. They're 100%, they're nothing like them.
They're closer because they got black beans I think maybe corn.
So they're like a fajita roll up that's deep fried is the best way to describe them.
They have some fusion egg rolls at California pizza kitchen as well.
I feel like they have a variety of a couple different types you can get.
So now you mentioned this to us before we started.
You worked at California pizza kitchens that correct?
For two years in college I was a host and then a waiter.
And I pulled a chair out from under a woman
while she was sitting down, she fell on the floor
and she was holding a baby.
Oh my God.
Didn't get fired for that.
Stick around long enough to quit.
And the baby was okay.
Everyone was fine.
There was no one gun.
I didn't even get in trouble. Did they get a comp to me? Yeah. Okay. Well,
there you go. My boss, Tom, who later would get fired for showing up at work with drunk
at talked the woman down and convinced her he was going to fire me. And then she came
to my defense. He wasn't. Wow. He just told me to hide in the back. He's like, I'm
handling this. He was like, he's like, I'm handling this.
And he was like, he's like, Eva feels really bad
of what she did.
But I don't, I won't accept her apology.
She will pay.
Oh my God.
And then the woman was like, don't fire her.
And so it all turned out fine.
And then later when he should have drunk and got fired,
I threw my apron down.
I was like, you fired Tom then I quit.
Cause I knew I was like on Barrow time,
cause Tom covered for me constantly.
Because you kept pulling chairs up and putting this.
I was like, I was like, I don't like watching my shirt.
I was like disgusting.
Oh, like, yeah.
We kind of built you up as one of the classiest people we know.
I know that classiest.
Um, that, your whole experience kind of reminds me
of that Dane Cook movie where he works in that like
Chili's rip off place.
Does anyone know what I'm talking about?
Waiting?
No.
No.
It is called waiting, right?
Maybe it is waiting.
Oh yeah.
And now that title, that title just clicked with me.
He's a waiter.
And it's called, yeah, just click it.
What do you think he was waiting for?
And also click, just click with me that.
I don't say on the movie because it's a remote control.
All right, good, cool.
I knew that I would figure some stuff out.
I'm so embarrassed.
Oh, go ahead.
So like, let's start your,
like that seems like such a dramatic cinematic exit,
like spiking your apron.
And that was the end of your tenure
at California Pizza Kitchen.
Yeah, I didn't actually physically do it, but I did tell them I was quitting.
And then they kept calling me from corporate saying, don't quit.
They don't want me to quit because Tom was fired.
And I had to finally tell them, look, you don't want me as a waiter at your restaurant.
I pulled a chair out from under a woman and she fell on the ground.
It's not on my record, but like you should stop calling my house. Tom's doing great now.
He lives in the Hamptons.
Oh, good for him.
He changed careers.
How's the baby?
I know, no.
I think something terrible could have happened.
I don't know.
Jesus.
No, she's fine.
She wasn't even crying.
She's everything turned out fine.
It was a very slow fall, like a really slow fall.
Yeah, it's good.
And it kind of builds a baby up and makes some strong. I'm sure. Yeah, it was just a moment slow fall. Yeah, it's good. And it kind of builds a baby up and makes them stronger.
I'm sure.
Yeah, it was just a moment of confusion.
I thought she was kicking the chair away.
She said, I need a high chair.
She kicked the chair away.
I thought she meant put the high chair there.
So I pulled it away.
What she mean, lady, or she very nice to me.
She was just confused.
Oh, okay.
She was so confused as to what was happening.
Tom Hanks came in once too.
Really?
Tom Hanks went to a California pizza kitchen.
Yeah, with Rita Wilson and two little boys
and I realized now one of them was Chet Hayes.
Oh my God.
Oh wow.
Oh, that's crazy.
Did he wrap his order to you?
No.
He was like 10, but he left greasy little hand prints
all over the big glass window.
Oh, shit.
Watch those hands.
George Tom Hanksanks tiny baby hands.
I don't know, I didn't look.
This is probably, I think it's Tom Hanks tiny baby hands.
You know after he did big,
everything went back to the normal size besides his hands.
So, all right.
But I don't think you understand how movies work.
I think you understand the difference between fiction and reality. It's my first
bomb. I was gonna say just quickly. So this idea of celebrity you grew up in a Hollywood
family, right? Right. And your father was an actor and did he take you guys to like,
would you go to chain restaurants? Was that a big part of your life or?
Yeah, my dad, my dad,
it's kind of is very weird about restaurants
and any place he lives,
there's like maybe two places he'll go, period,
he'll eat at, just hates new things.
So when we lived in Seattle,
we would outside Seattle,
we would only go to this one chain Mexican restaurant.
And then he was, he did TGI Friday's commercials up in the Northwest.
And so we got, he got a card that meant he could eat for free at any TGI Friday.
So we would go there a lot.
He got a TGI Friday's black card.
You got a black card, yeah.
Expired though.
I tried to get it from him.
And he was like, no, it doesn't work anymore.
Or else he just threw it away out of no.
But we went to DJI Friday's a lot and I love that place.
Yeah.
That's interesting to hear.
I just read a thing on Jared Focal,
which is how's he doing?
I can't believe I spent time reading.
He's good.
Did he gain the weight back?
No, he's not.
He's in the trim and he's with his second wife
and he has a couple kids.
But I was also reading some stuff about Jared
being kind of a jerk.
Oh, he's mean.
Yeah, I think he's kind of a mean man.
Did he get free subway at all the subway?
Is he walking and like, I'm Jared?
Well, the thing I read, it was an older article.
I read kind of multiple articles on him.
It was, he didn't, like in an interview,
he was like, no, I wish I could get one of those.
And then I wrote a later one that was like,
he uses his subway black card all the time.
And I was like, oh, he must have pushed for one at some point
and got his subway card.
But, why didn't they just give him one?
Yeah, why wouldn't you?
Yeah, I don't know, that's a good point.
He's a good example of eating subway. He's the only man to lose weight eating subway.
I coincidentally had read Jared Fogel's Wikipedia entry within the past month, and that campaign began in 1999.
That's been going for a while. It's crazy. So he's like, if you were born the year that Jared Fogel started doing subway ads,
you can now legally drive a car.
It's like a lot of time has passed, and he's just a celebrity that everyone knows.
There was all those babies nine months after the first Jared Fogel subway ads.
Yeah.
The old Fogel baby.
Let's get back to Chile.
So talking about your mains, remind us again what you got for your entree.
To poli chicken crispers, served with corn on the cob and steak fries.
Got you.
And the baby back ribs also served with fries.
Now Mitch got the baby back ribs for his main.
And you talked about your friend got the original sauce, but Chili's now offers a few
different sauces. And the ones you got were Chili's now offers a few different sauces.
And the ones you got were.
Dr. Pepper was one of them.
Yeah, it's a Dr. Pepper sauce.
And a beer sauce that was a local beer, right?
I think, oh, maybe not.
I think they just said craft beer in the abstract.
Yeah.
And I bit into the craft beer ribs,
and I was like, whoa, those are the Dr. Pepper ones.
That's crazy.
And then I bit into the Dr. Pepper ribs, and I was like, oh my whoa, those are the Dr. Pepper ones, that's crazy. And then I bit into the Dr. Pepper ribs
and I was like, oh my God, that's the Dr. Pepper ribs
and they taste so much like Dr. Pepper
that it's bizarre and gross.
I had one of your ribs and I found,
I had one of the Dr. Pepper ribs and I found it repulsive.
Like it was really hard, it was so sweet
and it tasted so much like Dr. Pepper
and that compared with meat,
was just a very bizarre sensation.
Like prunes and sugar.
Well, our waiter primed us for it.
He was like, he was like, Dr. Pepper sauce,
tastes exactly like Dr. Pepper,
and he was right.
He was not as capable.
Why would...
Sorry for giving him the hard time earlier.
He was spot on.
I've had this thought sometimes that it's so interesting to me
that we eat a hamburger and
We have an inner mouth and then we wash it down with like an ice cream drink or a
Like a the sweetest thing in the world. Yeah, we want to have those both in our mouth at the same time
But then yet if the doctor doctor pepper is on the meat,
instead of just being washing down the meat,
it's disgusting.
That's a good point.
I'm not like a bacon and dessert sort of guy.
I'm not big on that.
I like to keep my sweet and savory separate.
But I didn't have a problem with the doctor pepper sauce
as much as Nick did.
You were pretty repulsed.
But it was still a little strength.
I mean, it just was that taste of Dr. Pepper.
Like it felt like, you know,
side-scientist boiled down this taste and they got it
and they now can, you can have it on anything you want.
But the ribs are good and I never had the ribs before
and chilies are, they're known for a couple things.
One for their
fajitas fajitas which we found out and and for their baby back ribs which we all know the song
and everything like that. Yeah well we're on that subject if you you know doubt know the song but
um I'll just uh go ahead and play it for us this is from the uh uh campaign that began back in the 90s.
We all remember that song and then a few years later they took that and it was performed by InSync and that was this version. Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, hearing or it's a helicopter over a deserted island where they're singing the baby back ribs song for some reason and then a crate I think of ribs drops down and so then they're happy. I think
that's what the architect commercial is. They aren't gonna last like the ribs are gonna go bad.
I would think so yeah that they have a limited shelf life as it is and then on a desert island with
no refrigeration. I mean they're not long for this world. And that's also like I was on like a beach
I mean, they're not long for this world. And that's also like, I was on like a beach.
That's the last thing I wanted.
It's like sticky ribs.
Sandy ribs.
Sandy ribs.
All over you.
That was in sync.
That was in sync.
Yeah, they had a, this was, I don't remember the year,
but that was after the the chili song had been established
and became a part of our culture.
Then yeah, a few years later, they did,
they did move with in sync.
So that is the,
oh,
Joey Fattoni has a black card?
I don't know the perks of doing an ad for Chilli's buy.
I think so, I would hope so.
The fat one as he was known, I'm sure he's got a black card.
He probably took all the black cards.
Is that really how he was known?
Yeah, Joey Fattone, like his last name is Fat one.
And he was the fat one.
And he kind of was the Fat one.
He's also like 200 pounds lighter than I am, by the way.
Hahaha.
I know too much about Insync because I came of age
when they were popular and it made me sad.
Hahaha.
I was like in high school, like I graduated in 2001 like 90, like I graduated in 2001 and it was like
in sync was the band that everyone, you know, was a huge band and I was like, oh yeah, okay,
like this is what we're known for. This is our generation's music, I guess.
It's a bum, bum me out a little bit, but I will say that version of the baby backs rib song
is pretty good. They did a good job. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah.
It's great.
It's also insane.
Like would one direction do like a burger king?
I guess maybe they would.
I think they of course they would.
Yeah, they could totally find a situation
where that was worth their time and money.
The Spice Girls had that Pepsi ad?
That's true, yeah.
And there's a full length version of that song
on their second album of their Pepsi theme song.
Oh my God, really?
Yeah, it's like we're trying to make it a single
of just like this is a Pepsi theme.
Because it's, but the thing about Pepsi?
Yeah, they just think about
where the new generation move over generation next.
Oh, yeah.
Why not just go for it though?
Like I feel like that's like,
I feel like there's not enough
just selling out all the way.
I like that a lot.
I know in Japan, they created this video game character Pepsi Man,
and there's just a Dreamcast game you can play that's called Pepsi Man.
That's apparently pretty playable,
and it was decently received at the time.
But yeah, I almost wish there was more just like,
crass, just marketing tie-ins like that.
There's a cool spot for Super Nintendo as a big fan.
That's true, yeah, that's a very fun game.
And you know, that wasn't the end of the Chili's Babyback
rib song, it's impact on pop culture.
It was also famously used by Fat Bastard
in Austin Powers, The Spy, who shagged me.
Doctor Eva, let me make your deal, all right?
You get the motor, you keep your money,
and I'll get your baby.
All right.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back,
baby back ribs.
I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back,
baby back ribs.
Excuse me.
Chili, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby. And that he, this was, you know, this was one of the movie come out in 1999.
So this wasn't like, oh, I could just look it up on YouTube and see how the song goes.
He was just sort of like, oh yeah, that rib song, yeah, I remember that.
And then he was just sort of riffing and they were like, this is great, let's keep it in.
But yeah, it's really like a, it's pretty inaccurate.
For off-sem like Myers for gaining all that weight and losing it though within the course of the movie.
Uh, I thought that was quick. Props to Mike Myers for gaining all that way and losing it though within the course of the movie
Mitch
He wants to eat
Verne Troyer's ribs. Yeah, he's
He wants to eat the meat off of his human ribs. I was saying to Nick that a joke I didn't get while watching that movie.
It is really funny that he thinks many of me is a baby.
Like that this baby is dressing the suit and can walk around.
And I guess he doesn't talk, right?
I guess many of me doesn't talk.
But you are right.
He wants to, yeah, he wants to rip his ribs out and eat them like he eats ribs.
So fat bastards kind of a really fucked up character.
It's really like he's talking about disremembering a small man
and then and yeah, eating it with her sussed in.
Just his ribs.
Just his ribs, yeah.
He could get normal ribs.
Yeah.
He could get baby fat.
He could get pork ribs.
Yeah, and he's yeah, I'm sure he does pretty well as a villain,
so he could do, he probably has money.
Let's get back to the food.
So what did you think of your on tray?
I thought the ribs were fine.
They were a little gray and a little like,
they, a little hospital foodie, but good.
And I feel like I'm being,
I sound like I'm being really critical,
but I do love chain restaurant food.
These were just, this came out, it was a little,
they were a little visually underwhelming overall,
the entrees, they were little like cafeteria looking.
Oh wow.
Well, I think one thing to,
and I think that sometimes is a thing to evaluate
with chain restaurants is, you know,
the ideal is consistency that you would
go to the one and, you know, uh, uh, uh, uh, Fairbanks Alaska and it would be the exact
same as the one in Sioux City, Iowa, but sometimes that's not the case.
And sometimes you have individual, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, franchises that really deviate
from, uh, uh, quality standpoint from what the corporate expectation is.
Yeah.
So you can never really, you like So you can never really account for that.
And I feel like when places that people,
it's great when you can find a place
that's just always like at that same level.
Yeah, yeah, that's just like the good standard.
And that's sad to hear it,
because I thought Chili's was pretty good at that.
Also our ribs were so slathered in that sauce.
Oh yeah.
I couldn't see if they were gray anyways but the ribs are fine and
they came with the little wipey hand things. Yeah. Which is nice and the fries were good.
I found the Chipotle chicken crispers to be have the level, the sweetness problem that your
Dr. Pepper ribs did. They were basically just soaked in this weird like maple syrup that didn't
really have a spice to it.
It was just so sweet that it was just,
they were very soggy and weird.
Yeah, the places throw around Chipotle a lot,
that word, and then it just sort of generically
mean anything that has a little bit of spice to it,
but sometimes the heat is not even really perceptible.
It's red.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, on that note, I had the sweet and smoky burger, which was a
recommendation. Um, and, uh, which was basically a, uh, kind of like a hearty,
or Carl's junior style, uh, a barbecue bacon cheeseburger had bacon on it, um, had a smoky barbecue
sauce and had a couple of onion rings and some pickles. And I thought it was pretty satisfying. But
yes, it was a little, a little, it was a little sweet for my taste.
I'd almost like, like, just atone that down a little bit, maybe a little bit more tang,
a little bit less sugar.
Yeah.
You're acid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I would say, because I tried some of the next burger and it was just so weird that it
was called the sweet and smoky burger to me, because it wasn't that smoky.
And the sweetness, I didn't get as much sweetness as you did.
I was just kind of like, that's whatever., like, this just tastes like a regular burger,
which was good. It was very good. I spent the Chili's burgers are good,
but it didn't, it didn't give what it advertised. You know,
I kind of wanted more of that flavor with it.
I will, I will say though, I think that,
I think you do raise a good point. Like if you're going to Chili's,
I think a burger is a great option. The big mouth burgers,
it by and large, they're very solid
and they deliver on what you'd get
for what you'd expect from a restaurant burger.
I like that they call the sandwiches section handhelds.
I mean, it doesn't.
Sandwiches are just handhelds.
That makes sense.
That wouldn't be confusing at all.
To anyone.
I feel like, does that mean that they have other things
that you can't even put these things in your hands?
They're too big.
Is that what it's trying to say?
Or I don't know.
I don't know what's behind that one, Chilly.
But I really enjoyed the ribs overall.
I'm not a big rib guy.
I want to say I've never really loved, loved ribs.
And I'm sure that people who are rib enthusiasts
are like, oh, Chili's ribs are garbage.
But I thought they fell off the bone pretty easily
and the sauce was pretty good.
And because of that song,
I was like, I've never had the Chili's baby-back ribs
and I feel like I need to get them. And they pretty good. And because of that song, I was like, I've never had the chilies, baby back ribs, and I feel like I need to get them.
And they were good.
But my question is, it's called Chili's,
and your great introduction talked about chili.
There is no chili on that menu, is there?
It's a good point.
There may be, I could be mistaken,
maybe you can get a side of chili,
maybe you can get chili,
maybe there's a chili burger somewhere on the menu,
though I didn't see it.
But I-
There's chili con queso.
There's chili con queso, okay.
I do know there are original menu,
which I looked up, the original like kind of handwritten menu,
and they have it on the wall as a feature
at some franchises.
It lists basically three things,
it lists chili burgers and tacos.
So I think the originally chilies had chili,
and that was a big thing of theirs,
and I think as they expanded,
they sort of excised that from their menu proper.
Yeah, it seems weird.
It seems like it should still be kind of a big dish,
a non-handheld, you know,
it should be somewhere on that,
of the bowl list or whatever the hell the other ones are.
Then again, their iconography is sort of shifted to,
it's like a chili pepper,
it's more like that's the apostrophe, that's, it's like a chili pepper is more,
like that's the apostrophe, that's their logo
is the red chili pepper.
And like if you use the, at our location,
the door handles were chilies.
That's a pretty common feature.
So I think yeah, they sort of now,
they sort of mean it chilies from a spicy standpoint.
Which I also don't think too much about chilies.
I'm not like, ooh, can't go in there.
That's spicy stuff. You know, like, ooh, can't go in there. That's spicy stuff.
You know, like the buffalo fingers are good,
but yeah, well, whatever, it's its own thing now, chilies.
It's the name means something different.
It's changed, but.
I agree.
Another thing too is that they were known
for their fajitas.
If you won't, if you.
Yeah, that's great.
That's a correct.
They fajitas were, they didn't invent fajitas,
but they sort of expanded fajitas in the public consciousness.
And a chili is actually a patented the sizzle sound
that their fajitas make, uh, when they're delivered on a skillet.
How do they patented it?
I don't know exactly how it works, but I,
they, they, apparently have like some sort of patent on the,
the particular, uh, sound that it makes when it's a,
in that, uh, that little iron skillet.
Maybe there's a battery under the skillet or something.
You know what, I wouldn't be surprised.
I mean, that's the kind of thing, kind of chicannery that sometimes happens in the corporate
world.
But I think like, I will say that fajitas, and I think I would say this broader than chilis,
I feel like fajitas always sound and smell better
than they are as like a meal.
Like I feel like any time,
like you see someone walking through a restaurant
with a plate of fajitas and everyone's head swivel,
like, whoa, what that guy ordered?
It's like a big event, you know,
and they bring it out and other people are ordering fajitas.
But I think when you actually get on,
they're always like, all right,
I'd rather just have tacos or not something
that I had to fucking assemble myself, you know
That's it. Evan Susser told us this fact about the fajitas and he he told me something about how
When someone ordered in the part of the reason that they got this patent or whatever is when someone ordered fajitas
and other
Customers would would would hear it coming out then like after that there was like some rate in which people continued to order fajitas.
Like it was like every like three minutes
after that, like a new person ordered fajitas
of something very strange, but that sound,
you know what I honestly think it is that you're at,
you know, like a big corporate restaurant.
And the fact that you hear something cooking,
like you're like, oh, that thing is actually cooking
on the plate.
There's no way it's not like that chicken's not getting
roasted or the steak is not like turning brown.
Maybe that is enough for people to be like,
I'm gonna eat something that was truly cooked
and not just like came the way it was, you know?
Like they didn't open a box and pour like a hot meal out of it
or something.
Does that make sense?
Yeah, I get it.
The way they put the fake char broil burger marks on the
Burger King burgers.
Oh sure, yeah.
Yeah.
I like that too though.
Honestly, I think that that it stands out.
If you've ever looked at a McDonald's patty, it's very
great, just like the ribs, you know.
Yeah, like I mean, all food service is a little bit of shellmanship, right? Like I am okay with that. the ribs, you know. Yeah, look, I mean, all food service
is a little bit of shellmanship, right?
Like, I'm okay with that.
I'm okay with it.
Yeah.
Let's talk beverages.
So I got the El Nino Margarita,
which is one of their signature margaritas,
and Mitch, I believe you got the blueberry pineapple margarita.
Even what did you get to drink?
I got the skinny margarita.
Oh, that's correct, you said that earlier.
So what was your assessment of it?
It was very sweet, but I thought it was pretty solid.
Now is it skinny because it's like a lower in sugar
is that the idea?
Yeah, I think it's like a diet or whatever.
It's like a hundred calories for the whole margarita.
Gotcha.
So it's pretty solid.
Is it a brand?
Is it skinny margarita a brand or?
No, it's not like skinny girl.
Okay, that's what I'm thinking.
It's its own thing.
But actually I've noticed a lot of chain restaurants
have like skinny cocktail menus right now.
Sure.
And the really like cheesecake factory has an excellent one.
Okay.
And yeah, they're pretty good.
It was, I didn't regret my Margarita purchase.
My issue with my Margarita is the, it was good,
but I think just a little on the sweet side.
And again, maybe this is just like a running thing with me.
Maybe I just prefer less sugar than average.
But I feel like the El Nino Margarita,
which kind of has pineapple chunks in it.
And I think some pineapple juice, a lime and orange.
Maybe it's not orange, maybe it's lemon.
But yeah, it's a lot of juice
feel to it. Let's margarita then, then juicer. You're not getting that much of an alcohol
bite.
Yeah, we were talking about that because I'm, I'm, I'm, one, rum is one of my favorite
booze is to drink and, uh, and I, I, as far as liakers go, it's kind of like a sweet, you know, liquor and it's kind of like
served in with juices and but I love a rum drink that's like kind of has like a tough,
like I like it sweet, but you also get like a kick of that rum and my drink, I had the blueberry
pineapple margarita. It was just like drinking like a high-sea drink or something. It was so, so sweet.
It was good.
It was delicious.
I really enjoyed it.
And actually, I complained to Nick because in college,
at that Chili's in Ithaca,
they used to sugar rim your glasses.
And I think that they still do it.
And I was really kind of expecting a sugar-rimmed glass.
And I didn't get it.
And I kind of wanted that full.
I knew what I was doing when I got it.
I kind of wanted the full on sugar experience. But I didn't get it and I kind of wanted that full. I knew what I was doing when I got it. I kind of wanted the full on sugar experience.
Yeah, I didn't get it.
But I, oh, sorry.
But I don't go ahead.
No, you first.
No, just it had some fruit in it
and which I ate and it was kind of terrible.
So go ahead, yeah, please.
Oh, I went to the one I went to guys American Kitchen
and burn girl or, and I'm putting
in on the exact name, but in Times Square,
I ordered a pumpkin beer and it came ramed in sugar.
Wow, a beer.
A beer.
Yeah, a pint glass ramed in like pumpkin spice and sugar.
It's, I like that.
See, because some people are gonna be like, that's gross.
And I'm like, well, isn't like,
salting a rim gross to, right? I don't know, I mean, I don't have a problem with sugaring the rim, but I think, gonna be like, that's gross. And I'm like, well, isn't like, salting a rim gross too, right?
I don't know, I mean, I don't have a problem
with sugaring the rim, but I think for a beer
that seems a little excess, was it a super pumpkin-y tasting beer?
Or?
No, it's a slightly pumpkin.
The whole experience, that was,
I was startled by that part of it.
Yeah, that feels like a strange choice.
Yeah.
Pumpkin shouldn't be eaten.
I think you know, like, like, we put pumpkin
a lot of stuff like, it's not, I've eaten raw pumpkin in't be eaten. I think you know, like, like, we put pumpkin a lot of stuff.
Like, it's not, I've eaten raw pumpkin in a bit before,
and it's not good.
Yeah, you're talking about the time you and the birthday boys
ate an entire raw pumpkin on stage.
Yeah, we ate an entire raw pumpkin, and it's not good.
It's, it's, it's, it's.
Well, you're not supposed to eat it like that, Mitch.
I know, I know, but is there, is there, are there other things
like that where I mean, like, maybe dough or something like that?
I would say most food is like that. You don't eat raw meat.
There's a you don't need to raw meat wrong. You don't need raw potato. You can do these things. You did eat or raw pumpkin.
It was a mistake. It was not something you should have done. Are you just judging all food?
Based on if you cram it in your mouth raw.
Is it good?
Pumpkins are big too.
You're not, you know, you can't eat those like an apple
or something.
You're not supposed to eat these things.
Wait.
Well, you know, okay, how's this?
For a thing that you're not supposed to eat so much,
we got a cuckoo crazy with it
and we put it in everything we got, you know?
Why did you wait?
You're going back to, you're not supposed to eat it so much
because it's not, it's too bigger than an apple
and if you eat an entire one raw, you'll puke.
I think your standards for what food can actually be,
because you're really out like bananas
because you have to peel that.
I feel like you basically just have apples.
That's the only thing you can eat.
Or like a smaller apple.
Yeah, that's, I ate the inside of the pumpkin too.
I did eat the outer shell a little bit, but I also kind of ate the inner shell and the kind of what would you call the guts?
I guess that's also see pumpkin has a good which I have a question. This entire thing's on YouTube, isn't it?
Yes, it is. Oh god. We tell people how to find it. If you search birthday boys eat a pumpkin on YouTube
you can probably see us eat that pumpkin on stage.
And sadly it's a bit, we've done like five times
over every Halloween that we've done a show.
So it's like basically when you're laziness,
like outweighs how much like physical discomfort
you're willing to endure,
you're like, well, we'll just eat a pumpkin on stage.
Yes, 100%.
That's like people getting naked on stage too. I feel like it's a very similar thing.
It's like, well, laugh at this, my body, I guess, or something.
Overall, let's sort of give our overall evaluation. What do we think about shillies? Let's say we're going to rate it on a scale
of 1 to 5 forks, 5 being the best. We'll start with you, Eva.
I was disappointed with the food. It was the worst part of the experience for me. The
fries were fine. The drinks were better than the food. The overall experience was interesting because of the Z-Osc.
I would give it three forks.
Three forks, okay.
I would say, I'm gonna be nice to this one.
I really enjoy chilies, so I gotta go with four forks.
I'm not a huge rib guy.
And the rib experience was nice, but I don't like to get messy.
We talked about this. I don't like it in my hands messy. I can't look people in my eye when I feel
like I have like, like I can't look them in the eyes when I feel like I have food on my face.
And that's the way I felt the entire time. I would be like just like a shamed or something,
which is strange. And I probably have some other issue, but I don't love the rib experience,
but everything else was good.
The fries were great.
The buffalo, chicken tenders were delicious,
and all the other apps were good too.
I also had broccoli.
I told them to kind of just serve it how they served it,
and they brought out, it was with fries and broccoli.
And the broccoli was actually like saltier than the fries.
But then again, no one is getting a big rib plate
for the broccoli anyway.
So four forks overall, our server was nice,
but a little more bearing, I preferred the ziask.
And a nice atmosphere and also a great lunch companion
to my old boy.
What a thing to say.
I'm gonna also go three forks.
And this is my assessment of chilies.
I feel like my one word review of chilies
as a chain restaurant is solid.
Like you go into chilies, you know what you're getting.
They deliver.
And I think one thing we didn't touch on,
but I'll bring up real quick is that chilies also has
chilies too, which is their airport kiosk version.
And I like that it's named Chilly's two,
like they're just kind of saying,
like it's another Chilly's,
we know sequels are never quite as good as the original,
but this is basically what you like.
And Chilly's two is fine.
It's actually totally solid as far as a terminal,
airport terminal restaurants go.
And part of what elevated my last visit, our last visit
to Chili's outside of the company, a big lug,
was our waiter who I actually enjoyed
because I'm a big fan of waiter bits
and he had a few good ones.
He was really worried about a saving room for dessert.
Like he was really leaning on that
to the point where at the end he was like,
you guys promised to save room for dessert
and you didn't do it.
Like he was really like kind of,
but he was doing it in a fun, sort of lighthearted way.
All right, you're right.
He won me over right now.
We didn't, we said, we said like,
oh, we'll try and then he was like later on you promised,
which we didn't promise, but we sort of like, all right, we wanted to do dessert. We were gonna we said, like, oh, we'll try. And then he was like later on, you promised, which we didn't promise, but we sort of like,
ah, all right.
We wanted to do dessert.
We were gonna share one, but it was such a huge, huge
slouch.
I was ruined for the day.
I couldn't do anything else after that meal.
That should be the actual.
I had a headache.
I had a entire rest of the day.
I woke up in the night feeling gross.
Oh, yeah.
It's, you're gonna pay the price or go to church.
Probably should have brought that up.
That's what they keep in mind,
that add an asterisk to our four ratings
that you will pay for it.
The other way that you're bit see had is,
he introduced himself,
I won't give his real name, just in case there's some,
the Encino, Chili's or Narks for whatever reason.
But he said, my name is Peter,
but I also respond to Hey You,
which I thought was pretty fun.
I like that.
And there was a point where a baby started crying
and he came up to us and commented
at by saying, I hope you're enjoying our life music,
which I thought was really.
Oh, I didn't get that.
You didn't get it.
And I know, because you responded kind of obliviously, you were like, this is live referring
to the piped in music.
And then he added on like, yes, it's a cappella trying to like, sorry, dude.
Yeah, no wonder why I didn't like him.
I know that he's smarter than that.
Well, we got one three forks, one four forks, one three forks.
That's our assessment. I think overall overall we like chilies, right?
Like I think we're just fans.
But I was, I was, I just wanna say,
I was sad to hear that the food wasn't consistent with you
because that one of the big things
and the thing that we talked about was,
you know, a thing that people don't talk about enough
is a good friallator, a place change in the oil
and trying their apps well. And I always feel like chilies is pretty good withiallator, if a place changed in the oil and trying their apps well.
And I always feel like chilies is pretty good with doing stuff like that.
And then to hear that your fried food came out a little wonky, was sad to me.
And I almost want to bring it down to about three and a half forks.
But no, he wasn't your experience.
I know. I know. I know. I'm disappointed.
My weight just real quick was like very sweet and a little, she
seemed a little overwhelmed, but at the end when we said, can we get our check?
She said, oh you've never been to those chilies before, have you? And we were
said, oh no, we have to use the ziosk. She's like, yeah. And she seemed so upset
that she thought we were mad. And we're like, no, we figured it out. There's a button.
She's like, okay. This is so sad.
Also, why don't they just go all in?
How can you can't order your meal on there?
I feel like, yeah, it's in this mushy middle right now
where you should be able to just use the Zask
for everything and then you're not even talking to anybody
or like, I don't know, if you don't want to pay
the server, why can't they turn the Zask around
and run your card, but they won't let you do it.
Yeah.
Yeah, the Zask is a negative watch for that.
If you're gonna be going to Chili's
and see how that evolves over the years,
because I'm hoping that eventually that's a thing
they sort of scale back.
So that's our assessment of Chili's,
but there was someone who didn't have such a great experience.
This is a segment that we don't have a name for,
but we'll read a one-star Yelp review of the chain of the week, or the chain of the episode rather.
And for now, we'll just call this segment an unsatisfied Yelpur.
So this is Sean and Katrina Pee's one-star review of a Chili's in Scottsdale, Arizona.
Normally, I wouldn't take the time to review a place like Chiles. We all know by now how
unoriginal and uninspiring their menu is and that Chiles is the denny's of late night grub.
Well, fuck, he did denny's. Yeah, I know. They took two places down. Well, having said this, the
reason that I'm reviewing Chiles today is to tell you about an interesting thing that happened
to my BF and I when we visited this Chiles not too long ago. First, shame on us for resorting to
eating here, but it was a cold winter night and we didn't chile's not too long ago. First, shame on us for resorting to eating here,
but it was a cold winter night
and we didn't want to venture too far from home.
They live in Scottsdale.
They live in Scottsdale.
Well, the desert does get a little cool.
I don't know.
It's relative.
Their food, their T-H-E-R-E, food is so forgettable
that I honestly can't even remember what we had.
I just remember that it wasn't that great.
I think we had some sort of sliders
and maybe some tacos that we took a few bites of
and quickly got sick of.
The real reason that I am writing, however,
is to tell about a lame thing that happened to us
when we visited even laimmer than the food.
My boy and I were cuddling in a booth.
His arm was around my shoulder
and my hand was on his thigh.
We were talking to each other
and laughing to ourselves quietly,
nothing out of the ordinary if you ask me. We'd order a dessert and we're eating when all of a sudden
the manager of the joint comes up to our booth and says, how's the dessert? Let's keep
it a family restaurant. Before we could even respond, he was gone and we just turned to
each other with a bewildered look for the next five minutes. We couldn't figure out what
we had done and the more we thought about it the matter we got. It's not like we were
having sex on the table or touching each other inappropriately in the restaurant.
We were simply sitting too close to each other,
cuddling and eating our dessert.
We were so mad that we blew out of that joint
and left our unfinished dessert on the table.
We have never been back and we probably never will
since we did not want to eat in a place
that reprimands you for cuddling and having a good time.
If a family restaurant is anything like chilies
then I never want to eat in a family restaurant again.
Keep it a family restaurant, my ass.
There's probably more drug deals
that go on there than anywhere in Scottsdale.
What?
What?
Quite a turn at the end.
Did they not pay for their food?
I guess it implies that they stormed out without paying.
And, well, if I want to say first of all that,
you spelling out how they
spelled their felt like kind of character assassination on your part oh that's
true that's fair but I agree with you these people I mean I almost agree with
that manager I don't you know I don't know how race you got also I thought you
were I thought you maybe accidentally were reading some of your chilees fan
fictitious it was really involved.
It's crazy.
It's quite a year in there.
I think they were just fucking in the booth
and they got called out on it and then they got mad.
That's how I feel.
I take chili's side 100% in this.
Over the pants H.J. at least.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, like, yeah.
Even like, I don't know, just public displays of affection.
I'm not big into that.
I don't know if it's my Irish heritage,
but no, you're in a restaurant on top of that.
Keep it a family restaurant.
You know what?
I just like this claim that more drug dealers go on there
than anywhere else in Scottsdale.
Now, Scottsdale is a classy city, right?
It's like the nice area next to Phoenix
where all the rich people live.
I'm not, I get that confused with Flagstaff.
No, Flagstaff is the class,
is the cool like college town, up north.
Okay.
But, Sawstay is where all the rich people,
I did it a guy in Phoenix briefly
and the kids, the punk rock kids in Phoenix
were at war with the like the Poshes in Scottsdale.
It's also where, what's his name, Painter of Light?
Who's that?
Oh, Thomas Kincaid.
Thomas Kincaid, I believe, operated out of Scottsdale.
Huh.
Okay.
But it's very nice.
And, but I'm sure there's another place
where drug deals go down that isn't the chilies.
Yeah, that's that, that was crazy to me too.
Also, that she knew about all of them
and she thinks that a lot of them go down there
and makes me feel like she might have had
a little hand in that world or...
She bought drugs there.
She bought drugs there at some point.
And maybe she was the one who ordered the guy to go get the drugs at the chiles too.
But now who's doing characters as a gay?
This lady, I'm not a big fan of hers, but if you're at a chiles, the only reason you
should be licking lips is because you got barbecue sauce all over.
Not because you're licking your lover's lips.
Alright.
What's up everybody, it's your boy, the spoon man.
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with true classic. Uh, so that'll do it, uh, that'll do it for chillies.
It's time for something we call snack or whack.
So uh, that's what we're calling it.
I don't know.
You surprised me with this one.
These segment names are TBD.
Like, if you got a better, better one's email,
doboyspodcast.com, and gmail.com.
Tweet at us, that's it.
Let us know.
Let us know if you got something better
than snack or whack.
It was the first thing I thought of, and I just ran with it.
That's, that's what was my process behind that.
Anyway, we've got these,
chewy chips of hoi made with Reese's peanut butter cups.
So these are like a chocolate, chocolate chip cookie
that has Reese's peanut butter cups inside of this.
I have never had these.
And either you guys had these?
No.
No.
Can you eat them?
All right, great.
All right, let's open this up.
Opening this up now.
That's the sound you're hearing.
Me opening this chip sohoi.
And these are chewy.
They are fresh.
And let's dig in.
So on my regular chips sohoi, it's a chocolate cookie.
It's a chocolate cookie, yes.
But the choui, you know, the choui texture.
Oh, cool.
Hmm. Hmm.
Hmm.
I don't know what to think.
You know, it's kind of that weird thing of
the regular chewy chips of hoi,
like they taste like kind of fresh baked cookies.
And you lose that a lot with these, right?
Yeah, maybe they'd be better with a little bit
of the microwave.
I tell you what, I'm not picking up much peanut butter.
I don't know about you guys.
You don't mind, no.
I think the thing that's good about Reese's is the salt
and it gets kind of swallowed up by what's going on
in the cookie.
These could almost just as easily be a chocolate,
chocolate chip cookie.
Yeah.
I feel like you buy these because you see the Reese's
and you're like, oh, that's great.
That's my favorite thing, Reese's peanut butter cups
and I'm gonna have one with it in a chiplehue
and then you're not really getting it.
Yeah, that's a weird thing of,
I would rather have Reese's peanut butter cups
or I would rather have chewy chips of hoi
than this.
Yeah, or Reese's Pieces,
or just a handful of peanut butter chips out of the freezer.
Yeah, yeah, these are, I don't know,
it's not doing it for me.
They're not bad, by any means,
I feel like they're not bad,
but I also heard that to make chips of hoi
like the soft,
like whatever that soft texture
where it feels like it was just cooked, there's like a lot of chemicals that they have to add to it.
These cookies are some of the worst things that you can eat apparently.
Sure.
I don't know if you maybe should just stay away from these things altogether.
I'd say if our options are snack or whack and I'm sticking with that, I'm going to go with whack.
I'm also going to say whack.
I'm going to say whack, but I would also like
eat a bunch more of these, but as you've already got in for multiple cookies, you're the
one person who's had more than one. Well, Nick, it's not a cookie-counting podcast. Eva,
I had a question for Eva before. Of course, we saw wrapping stuff up. Now, I asked you this
before. Yeah. Did your father asked you this before. Yeah.
Did your father ever incorporate magic into any of your meals?
Because I know your father is a magician.
Yes, my dad's Harry Anderson from Nightcourt,
the magician actor.
And did he, I know that you went to the magic castle
all growing up and there was a great restaurant in there.
Mm-hmm.
But at home, because when I was younger,
when I, I loved magic and I went through a phase where I
bought a lot of stuff and was trying to do magic for a little while and I would always do stuff at the
Kitchen table at dinner. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Of course he would do
He had a lot of little tricks on him. He has some really good
Kind of pocket tricks that he does that my brother can do as well like little
really good kind of pocket tricks that he does that my brother can do as well,
like little tricks with a dollar bill.
But there's one trick he taught me when I was a kid
that I still do all the time,
which is you,
if you're in a diner that has creamers,
the ones with a little paper top,
you tuck one into your hand.
Oh my God.
And you start rubbing your eye,
and you start acting like your eye itches.
I did this in front of like a seven year old boy the other day freaked him out.
And then you're just like, oh my eye is really itching.
You grab a fork and you stab it.
It looks like into your eye, but you really just stab the creamer and then white cream
pours out all over the table.
Oh my god.
You just popped your eye with a fork and just and white stuff when everywhere?
I swear to God, I did this trick
when I was younger at my kitchen table.
Did your dad ever do that on TV?
He has a thing.
I think he did it once on Letterman
with a pencil.
Because it was a thing that I learned it.
And then I was like, I'm gonna do this.
And I went into the kitchen and did it in.
I did that exact same trick and I had a steak knife.
And I went through it and it hit the plastic part
and like put it back into my eye.
You stabbed your eye?
I was so close to stabbing my eye,
like it nearly went through.
And I was like, oh, I shouldn't do that ever again.
But it was like everyone was like, Michael. And they were like, they were like, oh my God,'t do that ever again. But everyone was like, Michael,
and they were like, they were like, oh my God, what is that?
And it looked so cool.
And I'm trying to figure out where I learned that trick
and it might have been adapt.
Yeah, he did, he had a book called Games You Can't Lose.
I think it was in there or a-
Oh, okay.
But also, I think it's a pretty common, like, yeah.
There's a guy, Matt King, who's a really awesome magician
who has a place in Vegas. He's a a show in Vegas and he also taught me one that you can do
Where you cut the little corner off a pad of butter a foil pad of butter and if you do it the right way
It makes it look like you're squeezing a pimple out of the table and butter's coming
But the if you get a chance be very careful or with your eyes
But if you do that fork in the cream or thing, I guarantee it's like the most disgusting thing.
People really freak out.
Yeah, don't use a sharp knife,
or use just a fork.
Use a fork and just do it lightly.
And just, and then just rub your eye
and go like, oh, I feel better.
Which is, yeah, I did it up in Ohai,
or yeah, and the waitress walked up in the middle of it.
And she was like, looked at my boyfriend,
like, what the, is she your girlfriend?
Like she was so uncomfortable and she was like,
and I just made the table messy.
That's great.
Yeah, it was great, it's super funny.
So yeah, he would do some a few tricks.
Yeah, that's great.
Yeah, it was good.
There you go.
Well yeah, so yeah, if you got some creamer on hand, go for it, use a fork, not a knife.
I think that's our lesson.
Before we go, we, just like a restaurant, we value your feedback.
So this is another segment I arbitrarily named that Mitchell laid into me for.
Let's open up the feedback.
So since we don't have any listeners yet, we solicited it for e-bails on Facebook.
And today's email comes from Hank Friedman, who is a friend of mine.
I know, one of your friends.
Yeah, one of...
We discussed the ahead of time, which e-mail to you is.
It wasn't me choosing excuse me for the word.
I know, hate Friedman.
Yeah, very talented editors worked on a county bang bang, other shows.
His email reads,
whenever I pick up a hot and ready pizza from Little Caesars,
I always force a tip on the cashier,
even though they are not allowed to accept tips.
It's a hot and ready tip and ditch.
I wonder if they have to throw the money away.
I guess what that leads us into is like the,
like what are the ethics or,
ethics is maybe the wrong word, but what it non-tipped employees in food service who you're trying to force a tip on to like is that what do we think of that practice a little tip talk
Yeah, I'm gonna share something. I think anyone will just take a tip right? Yeah, I think it's a leave money on the counter
They have to take it. I feel like especially you know like like any time I'm working a job like that and it, you
know, like usually the base pay is not the greatest.
So any tip is usually appreciated.
I actually did the same thing.
I got a hot and ready.
I was telling you I went to Little Seasur just recently and I gave the guy a few bucks
or whatever because I thought that that was just what you did.
There was no tip jar, but I think I definitely don't think he threw it away.
I wouldn't think so.
You wouldn't throw money in the trash.
That's insane.
But there are some places that don't put out tip jars,
and I think that's always kind of a weird thing.
But also that's a hard thing.
Like if you're picking up food,
there's a couple different things with this.
If you're picking up food, do you just leave a couple bucks?
I guess so, right?
Yeah.
And then if you're eating in, if you you just leave a couple bucks? I guess so, right? Yeah.
And then if you're eating in, if you buy your food
at the cash register, do you tip 20% there?
That is always the hardest thing for me
because I'm like, well, this isn't like a thing
where there's a waiter who's waiting on you.
Sure.
But you're going to have a number
and someone's going to bring your food to you.
So do you still do the 20%?
I usually don't do the 20%.
I almost always, always, always tip 20% all the time.
I never don't tip 20% that's kind of my base.
And my dad used to yell at me a lot
because he was like from a different generation.
And like it was like, it's 15%.
You know, because he would have been like 70 something,
you know, so like, but I always do 20% in that.
And getting something out of counters always kind of tricky to me. He would have been like 70 something, you know, so like, but I always do 20% in that and getting
something out of counters always kind of tricky to me.
Yeah, on that note real quick, my dad said recently, like, if I tipped like your mother
watered me to, I'd be bankrupt.
Like, I think there is like a thing of like a guys in their 60s and 70s who, you know,
like, yeah, that was just then 15% was
what you did.
Maybe you knock him down to 10 if they didn't do their job.
You would never go to 20 unless they gave you something for free, you know.
Yeah, I remember when my dad would get mad at like, like, service or something, like he's
like, they're not paying attention to us and then he'd always still just tip it.
And I was like, oh, dad, at least stand by your anger.
But yeah, no, that is, that yeah, that's another tough one too,
because people are like, always tips when we present,
even if they're not doing a good job.
I think there is a weird thing now where like,
I think there's been so many articles
and things online about it where it's like,
hey, a lot of their pay comes from that tip.
Oh yeah, for sure.
And also just from being a waiter,
if the waiters get tipped, get taxed on their tips
as if they make 10% no matter what.
So just like their tax is if they,
there's an additional 10% no matter what.
So if you tip less than 10%,
you're actually stealing money from the waiter.
Geez.
So don't ever tip less than 10% unless the person is bananas.
Wow, yeah, I've never done that before.
I've never gone below 15.
I don't think ever.
I had a friend that was a waiter at CBK who always kept a bottle of
vizine in his, he would show it to me.
It was in his pocket all the time in his apron so that he could put it in
people's water if he wanted to to give them diarrhea.
He said he'd never used it, but it was like insurance for him emotionally.
Oh, wow. That's it. I think someone not tipping him 20% would be okay. He said he'd never used it, but it was like insurance for him emotionally. Oh wow
That's eat I think someone not tipping him 20% would be
So what wait, where do you that's like I should be working there? I feel like Tom made some odd hires
Including you yeah, yeah, I agree
I should have been fired and also you're my friends
But I think you should have been fired too. For drop in that woman?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no, more even more so for the shirt thing.
How do you guys feel about if you're getting a number, would you tip 20% should I up it?
Because I usually give a few bucks, and now I don't know what to do.
I do like 15.
Yeah, 15 is good.
I probably usually do around there.
20s for someone who's like doing the sequence,
it's called the sequence of service where they just keep checking back with you and they
like drop off the thing and then they have to come back a minute later to see if the
thing is to your liking.
So there's like nine steps to it and you have to do a bunch of them at once and it's
like, that's how I think.
And alcohol, just to bring up a specific example, which people won't know, but alcohol,
you know, and those feel as if you go and buy your food there, you get a number, you sit down, which people won't know. But Alcove, you know, in Los Feliz, if you go in by your food there,
you get a number, you sit down, they just bring your food.
You'd still do about 15%.
You think?
15% for sure.
OK.
OK.
Good to know.
That's good to know.
I get it up.
If they're nice, what do you mean?
Now I feel cheap.
I'm going to cheap, cheap, man.
And I've always kind of prided myself on that.
And another question, too, that's kind of coming up in the delivery world
is that there's a lot of these apps which Nick hates that they'll deliver your food from like food from
anywhere.
They'll come up, I think one is called Postmates and they'll just come and deliver to your
house.
So there is a, they charge you twice, they charge you like a delivery fee and then like
a percentage fee.
And that can be like seven to ten dollars.
And then at the end, it also asks you want to tip the driver,
the delivery man.
And so then that pushes it way up.
And every time I have tipped like 20% to the driver
because I feel like, oh, is this company just making this money
and now this man is getting ripped off?
You know, so how do you guys feel about that?
I think you have to.
I, on that note, I, you shared with me
a postmates order you made for Taco Bell.
I was about to ask if you're using it for Taco Bell.
Oh, we did, yeah, everyone I know.
Yeah, it does that, uses it for Taco Bell.
And it was like, seriously, I did the math
and it was like a 95% surcharge
that you were getting with all the delivery fees
and the tip on top of it.
It's like you're paying an insane amount
of money to have Taco Bell delivered to you.
How would do it again?
Yeah, all right.
Was it great?
Yeah, so I'm just coming right now for us.
That's the Mrs. Falker.
That's right.
And for what it's worth, the Chili Zee ask
defaults to 20%.
So when you get a tip,
you only wanted the tip cash.
So we had to slowly, slowly, slowly push it down.
Oh, well, 20% to zero in this humiliating way. Or was like, I'm watching.
Sorry. Yeah. That's crazy. I am the Z-Osc.
The, I think the Z-Osc more than anything made me want to play plants for zombies because I don't
understand what that game is about. Oh, you would like it. It's fun. Okay. I'm going to get into it.
We played one where you decorate cupcakes.
Oh boy.
Give them to people.
And if you don't do it fast enough, they get mad.
What the hell is going on in this world?
I was like a food they didn't have at the chiles,
but we were looking at pictures of it
and like decorating it.
And pretending we were owned a different sort of restaurant
and we're like running it while we were waiting
for our food at this restaurant.
We were living in two planes at once.
Hahaha. we are waiting for our food at this restaurant. We are living in two planes at once. So,
Ziask is gonna be as common as automobile someday.
Hahaha.
Well, I think that'll about do it for this first episode
of Doe Boys, our thanks so much to our guest, Eva Anderson.
Eva, we're gonna, we're gonna check you out
what should they look for.
I'm on Twitter at, at Evafe, evafe.y.
My sketch group, a kiss from Daddy, which Nick Weiger and I started,
has a show at UCB Sunset in Los Angeles,
the third Wednesday of every month at 10.30.
And watch here the worst on FXX coming later this year.
Awesome, check all that out.
Thanks so much for joining us.
And we'll see you next time.
If you have a question or comment on your experience at a chain restaurant, you can email
us at doboyspodcast.gmail.com.
That's doboyspodcast.com.
And we got a Twitter too at doboyspod.
Correct.
No cast on that one.
There were enough characters.
Yep.
Cool.
Thanks so much guys. Take characters. Yep. Cool. Thanks so much, guys.
Take care.
Bye.
One more doughboys?
Check out the DoeScore, our Discord server.
Get access to that and the DoeBoysDouble over at patreon.com slash DoeBoys.
was a hit-bomb podcast.