KILL TONY - #649 - HARLAND WILLIAMS + YANNIS PAPPAS

Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey, this is Red Band and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.tv. And don't forget to check out everything Tony Hinchcliff at TonyHinchcliff.com. And the Sunset Strips, my new comedy club in Austin, Texas. Go to SunsetStripATX.com. And now, here's a brand new episode of Killtona. I Hey, this is Redmayard, company alive from the comedy mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get up for Tony Hitchcliff! Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh? Wow.

Starting point is 00:01:44 We're back, motherfuckers. Make some noise for red band everybody everybody ooh la la jui jui jui Welcome to the number one live podcast in the world brought to you by gelblaster the red rose yellow rose austin security guard service hall law firm ninja buses comm and connect mobile health which provides IV drips in case you're ever hung over. And michaellayer.threadless.com, they're spreading his ashes this week.

Starting point is 00:02:13 The late great Michael Lair. Goodbye, a T-shirt. Represent the great nurse slash girlfriend's out there representing, carrying on his, there you go, rest in peace Michael Laird, former regular, first hall of famer. And how about a hand for the fucking band, huh? Aren't they unbelievable? Stronger than ever, that's the great Raul Vallejo on the trombone. Carlos Sosa on the saxophone. Michael Gonzalez on the trombone, Carlos Sosa on the saxophone,

Starting point is 00:02:45 Michael Gonzalez on the drums, the Bicycle Mechanic, Matt Mueling on the electric guitar, John Dees on the keys, and god damn it, D-Madness on the bass guitar. Holy shit. Do we have an unbelievable episode ready for y'all tonight? But before we do, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.

Starting point is 00:03:12 The Sunset Strip Comedy Club in Austin, Texas is now open. Check out Red Band's secret show every Thursday. Go to sunsetstripatx.com for tickets. It's me Tony Hinchcliffe, the young king of Kill Tony, which is sponsored by DraftKings. You know, it's the last weekend of the year to get your football bets in. That's why we have teamed up with DraftKings. Now is the perfect time to take your shot at the crown. Is it a real crown? No. It's an invisible crown and you'll get to wear it in your imagination and pretend you're a princess and make all your dumb friends jealous. Hey, Red Band, what does DraftKings have for our beautiful listeners? Red Band.

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Starting point is 00:05:57 You guys ready to start tonight's episode or what? Boy oh boy oh boy. It doesn't get much more fun than this. Two of the best comedians on planet earth. Ladies and gentlemen, how exciting from some of your favorite movies from some of your favorite podcasts from some of your favorite stand up fucking everything we got it all here tonight as I present to you the great and powerful Harlan Williams and Yannis Poppins everybody. Oh shit.

Starting point is 00:06:29 Oh yeah. Harlan motherfucking Williams. Yannis Poppins back in the mix. Yannis, welcome Yannis. Pull out your cell phone. You got some networking to do while you're here. Son of a bitch. Harlan Williams first time on this show. We wanted him for ten and a half years. We got him here tonight Just for the record first and last give me a hand

Starting point is 00:07:00 Can I say something real quick yeah before we introduce you on yeah, pop is because I Can I say something real quick before we introduce Yanni's poppers? Because I want to say it's a special night for me here tonight. My little sister about three weeks ago, my father, he has anger issues. And he threw a boiling pot of cauliflower cheddar soup in her face. And she had third degree burns. And I want to say tonight, not only I'm doing this, but she's out of the hospital, gang. Yeah, look at that. Holly Flair, she is.

Starting point is 00:07:30 No. Party time, that's the reason to celebrate. Yannis, how's your sister doing? Yeah, I don't have one. She's okay, but my brother's special needs and he's still special needs. So it's- I love it.

Starting point is 00:07:43 That's also something to be- What kind of special needs is he? He special needs. So it's... I love it. That's also something to be... What kind of special needs is he? He has a brain injury from birth. So it's hilarious. It's real funny. Yeah. Nothing a good cauliflower soup, don't you? Well...

Starting point is 00:07:58 Yeah. You can't fix those burns that he has. They're there forever. They're on the inside. Well, yeah, they're on the inside they're well yeah they're on the inside yep yep they don't make there's no cauliflower soup in the world it's gonna help that one Freddy Krueger look at that guy this place look like someone boiled a nut bag on a holiday in radiate we're gonna have fun tonight yeah honest has done the show a few times.

Starting point is 00:08:26 Harland, it's your first time. Other than a few regulars, they're right and perform a new minute every week. We have a bucket absolutely filled with comedians names. They're hoping to get the opportunity to do 60 seconds on this stage here tonight. If I pull their name out, they get that. You know their time is up and you hear the sound of a kitten.

Starting point is 00:08:47 That means they have to wrap it up then or else they bring out the angry West Hollywood bear. And that just interrupts them. And we start an interview process. I ask them a bunch of questions and then we do whatever we want. We have some fun. If you have any fat comedians, maybe you might want to change this up

Starting point is 00:09:03 and get a bucket of chicken. Hello. Have any fat comedians maybe even want to change this up and get a bucket of chicken. Hello. No doubt about it. No doubt about that. You don't have to reach in front of me like that. And there are a lot of fat comedians. You're going to see them here tonight.

Starting point is 00:09:17 No doubt about it. But before we get to our first bucket pool of the night, I think it's only right that we start the show the way that we always have, ladies and gentlemen. This man coming off of an excre- excre- excre- excre- excre-

Starting point is 00:09:37 excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- excre- controversial victory in an arena to reclaim his position as a regular

Starting point is 00:09:46 He won a lot of people are up in arms about it, but we love them We do we fucking love them with all of our hearts. We raised them right here like a little pop He moved from his van to being an all-around wild success. You guys know the words? This is hard skin. This is hard skin. Ha. This is hard skin. Make some noise for hard skin. This is hard skin.

Starting point is 00:10:10 This is hard skin. This is hard skin. This is hard skin. This is hard skin. Thank you. It's good to be here. My girlfriend recently broke up with me. Oh. I guess she was a Rick Diaz van.

Starting point is 00:10:27 Yeah, she broke up with me. I was like, how can you go when you haven't even come? Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 00:10:44 It's been about a week since she's broken up with me, and I've had sex seven times already. Oh yeah, bro. It was with her all seven times. We were both going through a breakup at the time. A lot of people nowadays are into Californication. I'm more a fan of Louisianl. Thank you.

Starting point is 00:11:16 Black people, if you don't start being nice to me, I'm gonna start messing up every handshake I do with you. All right, thank you. Hans Kim coming back strong. 60 seconds. Does it every week. Right back at it. It's all happening. A great set.

Starting point is 00:11:37 This is true. Your girlfriend really broke up with you. Yes. And what was the context of this breakup? I actually broke up with her. Okay. All right. I should have done that before the arena. Damn, that was a good set. Fuck. But yeah, it was, I felt like she was very beautiful and she's not used to being told no. And I'm not used to saying no. So I would just go hang out with her all the time. And I didn't have time for my life and my podcast that I have.

Starting point is 00:12:08 You didn't have time for that? Honey, I gotta do this thing for an hour once a week. I don't know if this is gonna work. You know the thing with no script where I just sit down with a friend in my underwear. I don't know if I have time to do that. That is why you broke up with her, but it doesn't seem like you guys have seven times in one week is a lot for a normal couple. We know that you have a wild sex addiction.

Starting point is 00:12:36 Yeah, it's really helped our sex life this breakup. Uh-huh. I've just been going over every night making sure that she's taking the break up okay. I've been there so many times. You're really brought us together. Be honest? Did you ever make her chant your theme song before you fucked?

Starting point is 00:12:56 That would be great. This is Hod's kid. Yeah man, this is Hod's kid. I'm sorry, for you it's more of a like, yeah. Yeah. Just from the porn, I assume. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Starting point is 00:13:09 They have a short radius there of action, not large pumps at all. Small pumps, correct, Hans? Small pumps with tender care in each one. That's right. That's right. We have a... If I could add something to this, because I'm here to... I like to mentor young up-and-comers.

Starting point is 00:13:26 And the bit about when you just said your girl broke up with you, and this is take it or leave it, but what I would do is I would tag that up and then a little later on in the set do a call back. And that's just from me to you. And you can fuck off. Your biggest laugh through the set, Hans, acknowledging the Rick Diaz saga, which I loved, you didn't even do that in the arena while battling him, which I thought you would have done, but you acknowledged it during your set. You got a huge laugh because everybody knows about that. When they think of you, they think of him,

Starting point is 00:14:14 they think about that, and you acknowledge it as it. Here is our first time seeing you and working with you since then. How do you feel about everything? Oh, I feel just great about it. What a great experience for me. Let it out, talk to the people about it, look at them. Well, you guys, I'm sorry that I underperformed at the arena. Oh, thank you, sir. This guy's obviously a huge fan of mine.

Starting point is 00:14:44 But yes, please get on Reddit. Do you have a Reddit account? All my fans don't have Reddit accounts. Well maybe they should learn to read. It was extremely controversial, Hans. You won that we let the fans decide, and there was a ridiculously much louder response from you. 100% of the people that were in the arena know that. But it seems as though you went online and said that you felt like you have unfinished

Starting point is 00:15:32 business with Rick and... I'd like to challenge him comedically. Yeah. I'd like to have a laugh off. Like a man. Uh-huh. Yeah, I'd love to challenge him again. You know, the crowd cheered for me and then it seems like they changed their mind immediately

Starting point is 00:15:50 when they got home. Yeah. And you said you wanted to do it at the LA Forum. Yeah, why not? It's a cool arena. I love that. I love that. And did he respond to

Starting point is 00:16:07 you? I'm sure he did. Probably something snarky and mean. Oh, wow. Oh, shit. Power outage. It's freezing here. It's freezing. Oh, my God. What? Oh, oh, oh. Oh my God. They're having a middle finger off right now, ladies and gentlemen. How many of you think Rick has the better middle finger? How many of you think Hans has the better middle finger? How many of you think Hans has the better middle finger? It's happened again. It has happened again.

Starting point is 00:16:53 Okay, okay, okay. Welcome. Wow. Where'd you hide this guy? Any closet ever. Rick Diaz, a natural entertainer, former Golden Ticket winner, Hans has challenged you to the LA Forum to another battle. How do you feel about this? Let's, uh, is this mic plugged into everything? Hans, share the mic. Be a nice guy, Hans. No.

Starting point is 00:17:34 Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. What's the question again? The question is, what do you think about Hans re-challenging you at the forum? I mean, I find it interesting that a winner of a competition challenges a loser. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's a little unheard of in... Here's the way I...

Starting point is 00:18:07 Sporting history, but... Here's the way I look at it, is that, you know, is that, you know, when the UFC, sometimes it goes to a decision, sometimes it goes to the judge's scorecard, I feel like Hans wants to deliver a clean knockout blow, and I could kind of see why he would do that. Rick? Yeah, he failed the first time. But you can admit that the crowd was louder for Hans. You were there.

Starting point is 00:18:37 I was there. The crowd was louder for Hans. Right. And I admit that. And I respect the Kiltoni crowd. Absolutely. And they admit that. And I respect the Kiltoni crowd. Absolutely. And they respect you. I love the show and I love the challenge as it happened. But, sure buddy. Oh shit.

Starting point is 00:18:55 Oh shit. Wow, these are tough words coming from Orville Redden-Bacher. And... Yeah. Yeah. Let me finish. let me finish. Orville Redenbacher and Where's Waldo's Bastard Rape Child. I'm still trying to find myself, it's kind of annoying.

Starting point is 00:19:16 Well why don't have one either. So maybe later me and you can get together and do some Adelappems in the alley there. Not having a chin is why he couldn't knock me out. Hey, I like that. Absolutely. I feel like this is a quarrel between roommates at MIT or something like that. That's what it looks like, yeah.

Starting point is 00:19:50 It is. Yeah, we scaled up the jerk-off sessions. It was nice. Yeah, this is an incredible rivalry that we have. And, you know, we've had a lot of time since that battle to absorb everything that's happened. So you know, I've thought about it. The audience being the only vote in that contest was very controversial. So I think the next one, we do three minutes instead of one at the forum. And I think that me, red band and the two judges or the two guests,

Starting point is 00:20:30 each get a vote and the audience also gets to vote. So it's five votes. Do the guests get a vote? Yeah. Oh, you very, very big part of your plan here to win over the guests. You mean I didn't have any plan to have guests, you know, to win over the guest. Just the guest said I won last time. I said I did nothing but say jokes. That's not on the guest. They gave their opinion that you won.

Starting point is 00:20:57 I like both of your styles. Hans is a veteran of the show gets very angry. Anytime your name is brought up. The rivalry is real. Hans, I'm sorry to scare you. It was my idea to put glow in the dark tape on this stage and have him come out during your interview. Some things are planned and some things aren't. That's just my own entertainment. And Hans, how do you feel about this new arrangement three minutes?

Starting point is 00:21:27 It's a longer fight five judges. Do you feel good about it three minute? And I'm gonna have to do a minute every day every week up until that. Yeah, it doesn't seem fair Yeah, I mean people don't give you credit for the minutes that you. Just call Amy Schumer and ask her writers to help you out. I'm... She's not gonna cast me in her fucking movie, I don't care. Yeah. I mean, three minutes, what about... What's wrong with one minute? That's a good point.

Starting point is 00:22:00 Rick, would you prefer one minute or three minutes? I'll let you fuckers decide. I don't give a fuck. I mean, one minute is a great format for me, so... For sure, I love one minute or three minutes, I'll let you fuckers decide. I don't give a fuck. I mean, one minute is a great format for me. So for sure, I love one minute. I feel like three minutes favors him, but it does. It does. Hans hasn't fucked as much as he used to. Because that's how he writes longer jokes.

Starting point is 00:22:16 So, you know, I understand that from that you would want him. Oh, now that we say that? No, no, no. All right, Hans just literally goes, let's do three minutes. You don't get to, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Franklin eyes. That is true. I also have puppy eyes. Well not really maybe if it was hit by a car. You also have eyes. That is true. Hans doesn't have very much eyes. Yeah it's making the stare down very difficult. Yeah, absolutely. So it's official, three minutes versus three minutes.

Starting point is 00:23:10 Five judges. We agreed on one minute. OK, so is it one minute or three minutes? I thought he wasn't allowed on the show. It's just true. He's not performing. He's not doing a minute right now. This is literally us acknowledging.

Starting point is 00:23:27 If you put your Rolex up for grabs, I'll let you do three minutes. Wow, the famous Hans Kim Rolex. What will you put up for grabs? Your healthcare? I already put my golden ticket on the line. And you lost it, so I can't take it away again. Okay. Are you willing to put something up on the line? Rick, do you have anything that means something to you?

Starting point is 00:23:48 Hans' Rolex isn't just a Rolex, it was a gift from Joe Rogan. He challenged me. Well, I mean, yeah, but- He challenged me, I already won. No, you didn't win, you lost. It's adorable that you keep saying that, you lost. I don't say that, people keep telling him that.

Starting point is 00:24:04 Yeah, like 2,000 redditors told you lost. I don't say that, people keep telling him that. Yeah, like 2000 redditors told you that. I hear you. And thousands of YouTube comments and Shane Gillis and Matt McCusker. Shane Gillis. And Gilgis. Shane Gillis. I have the accent, I have good sir.

Starting point is 00:24:18 I have the accent, I have. When exactly did you get bit by a vampire? I'm so confused. It's unbelievable. Back in the 1800s vampire? I'm so confused. It's unbelievable back in the 1800s Where I came out from It was no what you're worried about you can win every time as long as you do turtle jokes I look like an orange circumcised turtle I look like an orange circumcised turtle. Hans is stealing D-Madness' microphone.

Starting point is 00:24:49 Fuck Rik Diaz. So it's on at the forum. One minute or three, you guys decide right now. Rock, paper, scissors. Should we do two? That's actually a good idea. You guys want to do two? Two minutes.

Starting point is 00:25:02 LA Forum, May 10th. The rematch. Hans Kemp versus Rick Diaz. How about I hand for Hans Kemp having the balls to challenge this man again. Where'd the mic stand go? What'd you do with the mic stand, Hans? There you go. Make some noise for Hans Kim, everybody. And one more time, back into seclusion, he goes.

Starting point is 00:25:31 Rick Diaz. There he goes. Rick Diaz, everybody. Okay, fun, right? There you go. Okay. Make some noise for your first bucket pull of the night. Anything can happen. Make some noise for Corduroy Xavier. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Corduroy Xavier.

Starting point is 00:26:01 Parental audacity was at an all-time high in the 1980s. Imagine the sheer boldness of being mad at children for coming home a little bit after street lights come on, as if they had any idea where they were for the entire day. You might give me a moment after I broke my arm on a BMX bike that got stolen, with a chip tooth that I got for holding up the line to a garden hose after being lightly molested by a youth pastor while listening to DC talk. You might give me a moment before you send me down the spiral staircase into the pitch black basement, proceed to tell me a drop trial, grab my ankles, hold my drunken Vietnam veteran

Starting point is 00:26:39 father lays into me with a piece of lumber. And then years later, have the audacity to wonder where my kinks and fetishes come from. I don't know if it was white supremacist poetry night. That was something else. Welcome to the show, Corderoi. Now, you've been on before back in the comedy store days. Am I correct? Yes, sir.

Starting point is 00:27:10 How long has it been? It was March 2020. March 2020. So right before the pandemic, absolutely. And were you only on once? One time. OK, how did that go? It was disastrous.

Starting point is 00:27:25 Okay, worse or better than this set? Oh, so much worse. It was worse than this. Yes. Oh my goodness. Now, have you been doing stand-up? How long have you been doing it? This will be my next time back after that.

Starting point is 00:27:39 Okay, so you took a break and you only, you're exclusive to Kill Tony. 100%, I'm all yours. Okay, very good. All right, so what do you do for a living? I'm a professional DJ. Professional DJ? Yes, sir. Oh my goodness, I didn't realize they had DJs in hell.

Starting point is 00:27:58 That's where the best music is, so. I love it, I love it. You look like, oh God. It is incredible. Where do you DJ, mostly funerals? Mostly festivals, I travel around. Okay, so like EDM type of DJ? Yeah, I've been DJing for 33 years, 28 professionally.

Starting point is 00:28:19 I play, fuck a genre, like I play everything. Wow, very. As long as it's good, as long as it's right. What? As long as it's good, as long as it's right. What? As long as it's good, as long as it's like the right way. Okay, alright. And, yes, Harlan. I just didn't, didn't mean to interject just real quick.

Starting point is 00:28:33 Have you ever eaten a baby? I'm vegan. You're vegan? Yes. Alright, a vegetarian baby. Yes. Idiot. Only baby carrots for this guy. I'm not. You're vegan? Yes. Alright, a vegetarian baby. Yes. Idiot. Only baby carrots for this

Starting point is 00:28:49 guy obviously. Very interesting, Cordero, you have a real, real wild look to you. Fingernails painted, metal teeth, a lot of earrings, a very stealthy beard, yet a very nice jacket, well, well, well dressed. Tell us, what do you do when you're not DJing exactly? Um... What types of things are you into? Do you sit at tattoo parlors? Do you... Outside the window, just looking in. No, I just completed a new album since I moved down here. A new album.

Starting point is 00:29:26 Yes, sir. Like what do you do? You DJ on an album? No, no, I produced a whole new album since I've been in Austin. I made a new genre, Dirt Road Country Trap. Dirt Road Country Trap. Yes, sir.

Starting point is 00:29:40 Is that out there on the internet? Yeah, it's on SoundCloud, under Quartermaster Xavier. How would we find that by putting in this name? Yes, sir. OK. It's on 666.com. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:51 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:29:55 Yeah. You're just typing all of that into the top bar. SoundCloud, quarter. OK, it worked. You're a sly dog. Look at you. It worked. Look at you. Oh, create an account. I already have an account.

Starting point is 00:30:08 Red Band. Very good. Okay, while he's looking that up, what's your love life like? What are you into exactly? You look like the type of guy that absolutely just fucks rubber balls or something like that. I don't know. I took time off since I got here. I made all these fucking rules for myself. No alcohol, no drugs, no gluten, no sugar, no sex, no dating for six months, no distractions. And no distractions from murdering people. 100%.

Starting point is 00:30:33 What about no Sephora? A man's gotta live. I just, I caught your eye shadow and I had this fan. What is that, Kat Von D's date rape? What is that? A hard no from corduroy Xavier. He genuinely answered that question like it could have been Kat Von D's date rape. Is this you?

Starting point is 00:31:12 No. No, okay. Redneck. You could tell because the artist is a different artist than his name. Fuck came up. You go back to SoundCloud, go into that search bar there. There you go. And then type in his name okay

Starting point is 00:31:25 okay a lot of hats to wear on this show so a quarter right so you've set all these limits for yourself what do you think you're gonna be most excited to do at the end of the six months fuck okay and what what type of thing are you gonna fuck? I don't know. What are you into? Is this you? This is me. Uh-oh. Here we are. It's a little bit of...

Starting point is 00:31:51 Through a sea of melancholy by Corteroys Xavier. Ooh, ooh, a lot of bass. Oh. Oh yeah, you murder people to this. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh, for sure. So they're chained up. When they hear this, they're chained up. They're in a chair, right? There's like a candle and they're coming to.

Starting point is 00:32:12 They're all drugged up. Keep it up. But you're not in the room yet. You're not in the room. They just see a candle on a table. They're very disoriented. They're picturing some terrible thing happening in them. They, at this point, they're noticing that they're, that they're stuck to the chair and then their worst nightmare walks in. That's some interesting music you got there for her. That was just an intro. That was just an intro. Okay, let's fast forward to the middle here turn it up and fast forward so that it that's the other direction. It's just three minutes into the song. I don't know. Five minutes on. Okay, still warming up a little bit. Maybe it's to another track. That's four

Starting point is 00:33:03 minutes and 20 seconds into a four minute. The album is lets do another track. That's four minutes and 20 seconds into a four minute. The album is a 16 tracks long. That's just like, okay. So let's go to the middle of the album. The top tracks. Oh, the top tracks. Okay. Port Aray. Does it speed up a little bit? Oh, you're about to fucking die Okay, that's enough that's enough where does the country come in there's no it was I Let's go to another track. What's the name of the album is the name? Yeah, sir. Okay, go to circular bottom left No bottom left play this play this up not the top go to the middle of the album. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. These are fucking I will God damn it. Jesus fucking Christ. Wait, play this song this one. Now he fucked it up the last now

Starting point is 00:33:53 This is another slow song This one. No, no No, no Go up Into the junkyard. You like this one? No, you don't even like your own music. Austin sounds like you to catch a trap. Go up green as black woman's face on there.

Starting point is 00:34:17 Okay. All right. Jesus fucking Christ. Woo. Demand is begging for mercy over here. He can only hear, so... See, you know, I bet people love you at the music festivals because they're like, this guy looks fucking crazy, dude.

Starting point is 00:34:37 And I bet the music goes good with your look, but when we're just listening to it... The music just sounds like he's testing the instruments for the music festival to start. Can I ask what the tattoo is on your hand there my friend? What's that? Well Lord Eurose. It literally says my name Korderoi. Korderoi, okay. So like when I check into hotels and stuff I'm like Korderoi Xavier and then you see them go for the sea and then they freeze because they've never had to spell that word once in their life. People have a problem with the or part of quarter right. A lot of vowels get put in there. You'd be surprised. And I'm just like, as a bad hotel. But they never forget. I get it once in.

Starting point is 00:35:18 Korderoy. I'm gonna go with that. What do they guess? A or I? Oh, just so many. Wow. It's okay. For half the money you just could've got freak. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. But then I'd have to put it on my, it's five letters. Okay, quarter right.

Starting point is 00:35:33 Why do you do any massaging? Cause I'd love to have your blueberry picking fingers all over my body. Ah. Ah. Ah. You can find me very easy in this town. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:35:43 I got you. Huh? Deep tissue. Deep in this town. Yeah? I got you. Huh? Deep tissue. Deep tissue? Deep. Yeah. It's not about suck my scapula. How about that?

Starting point is 00:35:53 That was actually my catchphrase. Quarter right, throw that mic back in the mic. Stand there. This interview went a lot longer than it probably should have. Fantastic little joke book where the way to get it started, the bucket pulls, ladies and gentlemen, one of the wilder parts of the show. And we move on, Yanis.

Starting point is 00:36:14 I had to watch him leave the whole way. I didn't want him. I didn't feel comfortable with him behind me at all. Yeah. He leaves a bright eye shadow everywhere he goes. You know, I am getting more and more popular and people offer me tickets all the time to any event that I want, the very best seat that I could possibly get. But I remember what it was like being a normal human being.

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Starting point is 00:38:53 Conditions apply, limited time offer. All right, pulled another name out of the bucket. We're gonna keep it moving along. Here we go, Daniel Zalinka, everybody. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Daniel Zalinka. Here we go. I'm White Trash. I grew up with food stamps.

Starting point is 00:39:17 Did anyone else go with the food stamps? Losers, no. I don't know. I feel like you always have a struggle snack if you're on food stamps. Like my favorite struggle snack was Hope. Like damn, I hope this shit gets better. Now, but for the food stamps were hit on the first of the month, so for the first two weeks, it was great. We had Pepsi's, Hot Cheetos, Fruit Roll-Ups,

Starting point is 00:39:41 but then by week three all that shit was gone, so we'd be surviving off of ramen and hot dogs, and then week four was like the Hunger Games. Me and my sister would be shooting each other with arrows trying to eat the other one, and that's the difference between White Trash and Rednecks, because Rednecks try to eat their sisters out in other ways. All right. Daniel Zalinka, pretty much just describing what it's like being poor. No real punch up there at all whatsoever. Week by week, the food selection gets worse and worse. How long have you been doing stand up?

Starting point is 00:40:22 Eight months. Eight months. Where at? Here in Austin, I moved here from Oregon. Okay. Okay, so how's that been going for you? Is that your best minute? Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Starting point is 00:40:35 And that usually works places? Yeah. Yeah, it seems to work pretty well. You perform mostly in front of comedians though. Yeah, open mics. Right. Uh-huh. And they're laughing at you because you were hungry.

Starting point is 00:40:50 Yeah, I mean comedians usually laugh at each other. Yeah. They're like, ha ha ha. Yeah. You were hungry. They're like, you fucking loser. Right. But it appears as though you found food recently. How do you make a living, Daniel? I'm in sales. I work for a phone carrier selling phones.

Starting point is 00:41:06 Okay. Yeah. All right. I did a... Keep coming very close to sad music here. Damn. Now, I did construction my whole life, and then I moved out here. I started working in the heat, and I was like, fuck that.

Starting point is 00:41:18 I'm gonna go into something easier. You ever think of constructing a joke? Okay. I moved out here, I started working in the heat, and I was like, fuck that, I'm gonna go into something easier. You ever think of constructing a joke? I know that's right. Can I do something here? This might be a little... I have a charity called the Cinnamon Angels Fly Fly Away and we, some of you know about it and what we do is we help children with cinnamon allergies and we have a foundation

Starting point is 00:41:57 and when I see, I brought my checkbook here today. Whoa, that's an actual checkbook. And when we see young comic struggling almost to the point of suicide. Cinnamon Angels fly fly away would like to write a check to help this young fellow out his way. I love it. He's writing out an actual check. In a collaboration with Cinnamon Angels Fly Fly Away, and I haven't confirmed with them yet, but the Burger King Corporation, we'd like to give you $300,000. Oh! Burger King, mostly Burger King, but some of it's Cinnamon Angels, maybe the four or five dollars. 300. Take that and be on your way, you fucking whore.

Starting point is 00:42:54 There you go. There you go. Actually, amazing. $300,000 just given to you by the Cinnamon Angels, fly, fly away. And Burger King, we haven't confirmed it with them yet, but they have a lot of money, $1000 just given to you by the cinnamon angels fly fly away With them yet, but they have a lot of money So we're gonna be talking to them and team team burger Kang will probably get in on it with all their employees the Zit-faced fox To think you went from hope to Pepsi to, to ramen, to Burger King.

Starting point is 00:43:25 $300,000, how do you feel right now? Looks like I'm moving up in the world. Absolutely, absolutely. And what is it, can you describe exactly what it says there on that check? $300,000 with no name or nothing else. Burger King, Burger King, Burger King, Burger King. If you take it to Burger King, you'll get free fries.

Starting point is 00:43:47 Amazing. Amazing. It should be immediately we're trying to do a show. Harlan, you're one of my favorite comics, so this actually means a lot. He's trying to get you to autograph the check. You know what? I'm going to do one better. I'm going to do one better. You keep that one.

Starting point is 00:44:11 I'm going to do one better. Cinnamon Angels fly, fly away. Just earlier this week, we were in talks with Tim Cook at Apple. I think we all know Apple. And they haven't signed off on this yet, but have another $500,000? Whoa! From Apple.

Starting point is 00:44:30 And you go take this and skip down to Arby's and bend over an inkjet printer and fuck yourself. That is unbelievable. This is the largest amount of money ever given away on this show. We thought Mr. Beast giving away $10,000 a cash in a briefcase was impressive at the arena. Well, he can sniff my sister's cauliflower soup face. How about that? Oh my goodness.

Starting point is 00:45:07 Daniel, before we let you go, we barely found out anything about you. I'm gonna, we're gonna let you run with your $800,000 here any second. But before I let you go, what's the wildest thing about your life? What would we find to be unbelievably entertaining about you?

Starting point is 00:45:22 You've seen the show before, you know how the interview portion works. What's your honest assessment of your life? What would we find to be unbelievably entertaining about you? You've seen the show before, you know how the interview portion works. What's your honest assessment of your life? What would we find to be interesting? What makes you different? I think one of the craziest things about me is that I did meth when I was like 19. And I have a lot of crazy meth stories, a lot of crazy things happen there. I dated like a gangster girl, she was a sirena.

Starting point is 00:45:40 So... What's a sirena? Like a South Cider, a Mexican. A... A... A South Cider like a South Cider a Mexican? Sausage a salsa higher south cider South side oh a south cider. Yeah, like a Mexican like South Cider. That's how they say like wow you sound Latino when you say Latino things I grew up with Mexicans. Yeah, I grew up in a Mexican trailer park. I was the only way you sound like you hate them No, I love them. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:06 Okay. What's the craziest thing you ever did while on math? Well, you ever tried to cash a check for $800,000? I don't know. I'm going to see if I could do it on 6th Street. So, um, I stole cars in the snow, robbed some cars, because I was drifting, and my girlfriend wanted to like her own car, so she could drift too. And so she stole a car, and we were both drifting,

Starting point is 00:46:31 and the snow was pretty fun. Drifting, the thing where like you spin around. Spin around, yeah, in a Honda Civic, yeah. Wow. Talk about that, man. The food stamp stuff is just sad, dude. Talk about the spins, yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:44 Yeah, talk about the good stuff. You didn't know what makes you different. Everybody kind of, I mean everybody was eating fucking Pepsi and hot dogs at some point really. Well you gotta drift when you're in a relationship. If you don't, you're gonna slowly drift apart. Yeah, it's true. Better to drift together.

Starting point is 00:46:59 You know what, that joke didn't go well. I'm gonna give myself $700,000. $700,000. $700,000. $700,000. Daniel Zelinka, you're leaving here with $800,000 and a little joke book. Good catch. Daniel Zelinka. Not real.

Starting point is 00:47:18 On to the next one we go. Before we get to this next bucket pool, let's do something kind of fun here. There was a guy, it's a very interesting position, something I never do. There was a funny man on the show and he was really, really good. I think it was a girlfriend that got pulled out of the bucket originally. She was terrible. She said her boyfriend's funnier. She was right.

Starting point is 00:47:44 And so I had him back a couple months later to do another minute thinking, okay, that'll be fun, but he did great with the next minute. So this is his third time ever on this show. I wanna see if he can do it again. He's two for two on this show. This is the third time ever for Justin Hedrick,

Starting point is 00:48:00 everybody from Houston, Texas, little Texas street. Fuck yeah, alright. So I found out recently that my girl thinks that I roll a blunt like a fuck. According to her, my finger technique is terrible. I never fill it up or get it wet enough. And no matter how hard I try, I'll never do it as good as a black guy. And despite having a girlfriend, I have a weird fear of dying in a gateway. Not so much like choking on a cock, but like choking to death on gluten-free popcorn while watching Shob's Gringo Poppy.

Starting point is 00:48:55 Not really what I want to leave behind to my kids is a legacy. I do have a bunch of kids and despite my best efforts, they're all woke. They're so woke, in fact, that every time I tell a trans joke, they won't talk to me for a week. It's been a year. And I'm just about out of trans material. And similar to a lot of the trans community, I just don't want the balls to go back to the way things used to be.

Starting point is 00:49:29 God damn it, what an interesting story this is. The legacy of Justin Hedrick. Such a solid minute his first time, came back, did it again. I'm trying to get you out of my fucking life and you keep doing this again and again you're like the opposite of corduroy Xavier seems like you like have you been working these out other places this is my 13th time on stage okay and and you seem to be naturally good at it you would agree I agree yes and you're having a lot of fun and you just started at the age of? 40?

Starting point is 00:50:05 40, hell yeah. I just turned 41 five days ago. Happy birthday, my friend. So is it true that your kids are woke? That was a fantastic joke. No, my kids are fucking awesome, man. They're not woke. Yeah, I had a feeling.

Starting point is 00:50:19 I raised them right. I don't think you would allow that. I love my kids, man. Yeah, it seems like you would slap that ride out of them. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And you're from Houston. I love my kids, man, they're all. Yeah, it seems like you would slap that ride out of them. You know what I mean? Absolutely. And you're from Houston, Texas. Fort Worth, Texas.

Starting point is 00:50:28 Fort Worth, Texas. Absolutely, the home of hyenas, where a fun fact about hyenas, the great Harlan Williams will be there February 9th to the 10th. Also, February 9th to the 10th, San Francisco, Yannis Papas, a Cobb's Comedy Club.

Starting point is 00:50:42 So, just a little something to keep in mind, February 9th and 10th. I watched Harlan there about a month ago, and it was probably the best show I've ever seen. Yes, absolutely. Harlan on fire. Yeah, I'll take one of those. You're gonna get some money.

Starting point is 00:50:56 Hey, just like 10,000, that's good. Harlan was on fire. One million dollars. Yeah. Hang on, hang on. I'm going to give you an extra 10,000 to get that life-threatening melanoma off your neck. He did spot it.

Starting point is 00:51:18 Harlan has a good eye for skin cancer. It's actually on my nose, right there. Well, wow. Love for real? Not really, so yeah. That's the one I want. Harlan made a joke and the guy from Fort Worth is literally like, no, I got it, just not the neck.

Starting point is 00:51:34 Whoops. Look at that. You're instinct, so you're like one of those cancer sniffing puppies or something like that. I guess you won't be needing that fucking check. Still need it. Still need it. I'm gonna keep it. Taking back the million, letting him keep the 10,000. Only here on Kill Tony. So Justin, this has been amazing. You're

Starting point is 00:51:55 run on the show. Anything else left for the interview part that we would find interesting about you? Maybe possibly. So this is my celebration vacation. I've been here for about three days and I'm celebrating losing 85 pounds this last year. Yeah! Yeah! I lost the 85 pounds to go skydiving, which I did on Saturday.

Starting point is 00:52:21 And so did my girl. She went with me. She jumped out of the plane and she came down to a huge banner that said, will you marry me? And I proposed. Wow! That is real fucking Fort Worth white trash shit right there. Holy shit! It's not as impressive as Red Band's proposal, but it was still pretty good. That is true. Red Band, the bride to be here coming up.

Starting point is 00:52:50 You saw it live from the HEB Center. Mine was for tax reasons. I always would have guessed that you would have gotten engaged at an HEB, just not the arena. I thought you would have proposed to a butcher or something like that, or perhaps the bread lady. There you are. That's a red band. That's red band doing his VR podcast

Starting point is 00:53:13 in the middle of the night. Okay. How long you went town for? Till tomorrow. Yeah, I had to come early because of the weather. To do your skydiving thing. This is absolutely incredible. And you had to lose weight in order to skydive. That's a thing. So I was 330 pounds last January when I tried to do it. Yeah. And now I'm 248.

Starting point is 00:53:36 And then they turned you away. They're like, sorry. They laughed. Right. Next time. Keep the weight on your land faster. Yeah. They can't do two parachutes or something Well, that's what I thought I figured be like a plane ticket for like David Lucas like just pay extra, you know But no they they did not and they even even at 248 They strapped like a five foot five girl on my back to just to make it right like right weight wise Absolutely incredible. So they told you the first time they're like dude. You can't do it back just to make it right like right weight wise absolutely incredible so they told you the first time they're like dude you can't do it yeah no he

Starting point is 00:54:08 laughed at me and like when when there's no way fly you could do it yeah sure fat I was very you know what I'm gonna write myself a check by the way if you ever put the weight back on just make sure you land on a KFC, you'll be all set. You know, if you're not going to laugh, I fucking will. Justin, congratulations. Another amazing set. Congratulations on your birthday, on your upcoming marriage,

Starting point is 00:54:48 and on a third great set. Maybe we'll do it again sometime soon, Justin. Okay, back to the bucket we go. Make some noise for your next bucket poll. This looks like a new name to me. Make some noise for Walt Barber, everybody. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Walt Barber. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:55:10 Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:55:17 Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.

Starting point is 00:55:23 Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Here we go. Damn. There's a lot of people out there that think that Jesus was a white man. And they have all been duped because Jesus was definitely black. And at the end of the day, all you got to know is that that motherfucker was hung like this. I'm pretty sure that's why they call it the resurrection. And I haven't read the Bible, but I have read some of the sparknotes. And met enough thumpers in my day to know that when he did rise up, he probably cast a shadow from Rome to Jerusalem with that thing. Blotting out the sun. All right.

Starting point is 00:56:33 Hell yeah. Okie dokie. All right, I don't know what color Jesus was, but he's not watching over you and your comedy crew. Oh, it would not seem so. Bam. Not a Jesus-like performance whatsoever. No. We definitely hope you don't come back in three days.

Starting point is 00:56:54 My goodness. Wow. How many times have you done stand-up comedy? Uh, it's probably about like the seventh or eighth time. And how long ago did you start? Uh, it's probably about like the seventh or eighth time. And how long ago did you start? Uh, October. October 4th. October?

Starting point is 00:57:10 It was an ugly day. And this might be the ugliest. Can I say something here? Absolutely. Uh, this isn't easy, but, uh... As a black man. For you to come out here and talk about color dressed as fucking Barney, you can go to yogurt land and ride motherfucker. That is true. That is true. I completely agree. What's up with that hat? Is that a lucky hat or something? It's very dirty. It's bent. It's very, very creepy.

Starting point is 00:57:52 It's a work hat. What do you do for work? You pump gas. I do stonework. Stonework. Yeah, it's a stone mason, stone sculpting. Okay. That type of thing. You make a lot of money doing that? A lot of people ask you to come work on their stones? Not a lot of money, but I do get to work on people's stones. Yeah. You sure it isn't stone to work?

Starting point is 00:58:14 It is not. Believe it or not, it is not stone to work. Do you smoke marijuana? I smoke marijuana, yes, but not right now. What else do you do? You smell things? You smell things? You sniff things? Or clean her?

Starting point is 00:58:29 You sniff a lot of things? You have a lot. I drink from now and then, you know? Every now and then. Change fruit loops. Yeah. Wait a minute. He did a sniff joke.

Starting point is 00:58:44 I think I'm allowed to do a Froot Loops joke. It is true, you're allowed. Absolutely. So most interesting, how'd you end up like this Walt? Where are you from? Originally from a little town outside of Charlottesville, Virginia. We all found out it was apparently like a vacation spot for the Proud Boys a few years ago, which is a bummer.

Starting point is 00:59:07 But you weren't one of them. No, no, no, no, no. OK. And how long have you been here in Texas? I actually got in this morning, this afternoon. Well, we're excited about your departure. I'm sure. I'm sure everybody is.

Starting point is 00:59:22 Can I just ask something just from a strategic point of view? Yeah, you came all the way from where? Well came out from Richmond, Virginia. Okay long travels, right? You had one minute that it maybe occurred to you to not come out and do 30 seconds of silence off the top I think that was in memory of Black Jesus or something like that. Happy Martin Luther King Day, guys. Happy Martin Luther King. That the silence at the beginning was not intentional. I did intend to come out and just...

Starting point is 00:59:58 Why do you think that happened? What did you feel? A lot of eyes. Right. A lot of eyes. Right. A lot of eyes. Nice looking eyes. Okay. All right. Very good.

Starting point is 01:00:12 Very good. Nope. He would never do good on a potato farm. I'll tell you that. Here's a little joke book, buddy. There you go. When do you fly back to Virginia? All right.

Starting point is 01:00:24 Thank you guys. Appreciate it. Good job. Okay, we get to do this. Thank you all very much. Thank you all very much. You're very welcome. There he goes, everybody. Walt Barber. Okay, let's sage the room a little bit with a real comedian. One of the most prolific regulars in the history of the show. Energy, charisma, written material, performed material. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you

Starting point is 01:00:48 a brand new 60 seconds from one of our esteemed regulars, the great and powerful Cam Patterson, everybody. ["Camp Patterson"] My phone had broke a couple days ago, so I had to beat my meat the old fashioned way. With some pussy. Now, I'm playing, I had to use my imagination. My imagination is not what it was

Starting point is 01:01:19 when I was like 10 years old. Cause when I was 10, all I had to see was like two infinity signs. And I was like, them titties, yeah. That shit hard right now. But now I'm 24 years old, and I done seen some shit. You know what I'm saying? So now I need to see like a bukkake or something.

Starting point is 01:01:37 I don't like saying that, because I don't know what that is. My weird friends were like, say that, they gon' know what that is. And y'all was like, no the fuck we don't. That's strange. You know what a bukkake is, sir? Know what that is. And y'all was like, no the fuck we don't. That's strange. You know what the bukkake is, sir? Know what that is? Yes, you do you sick fuck.

Starting point is 01:01:48 You know what that is, you sick motherfucker. I like it, fuck you, I like it. I will tell you the way to think about beat my meat with my imagination is that I don't have my phone. You know what I'm saying? I beat my phone for so long, like this hand is just free.

Starting point is 01:02:06 Like this hand ain't know what to do, dawg. Like I'll beat my meat and this hand was like, maybe I could help. So I started playing with my nipple. That felt, that just felt gay. Then I started choking myself. I liked it that, that was cool. That been campan that got something.

Starting point is 01:02:27 God damn it, he did it again. He did it again. International superstar. I got to look. I don't mind a little dirty, but you don't see it coming from Black Jesus, I'll tell you that. We got to say, man, my dick hard as fuck. Long as hell, hell yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:44 I don't know what you said, but thank you. I was trying to say other words and I fucked them up. Amazing stuff, Cam. You did it again. I can confirm that your phone did break in the past week. It was fucked up. That was a thing. I had no idea that you were having trouble masturbating. It was tough. But I can... It was a long two days, I'll tell you that.

Starting point is 01:03:06 Yeah. Not being a lick and pouring nigga, that's shit hard, bro. I tried it once, I just bought another... I just stole a guy's phone. This is impossible, yeah. Yeah. But that's a good idea with the other hand. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:19 Definitely you could put your hand in your ass. What, you want to do that? Would you do that? I tickle it, yeah. Yeah. You a strange nigga, honest. You a strange nigga, Yannis. You a strange nigga. By luck, gay people.

Starting point is 01:03:30 There you go. I love him so much. Well, hold on. Did you just call him the N-word? That my nigga. You my nigga, too. We don't use the N-word. Not on this show. It's certainly not Jesus. I'm not on this show.

Starting point is 01:03:46 I'm certainly not Jesus. Give him a hand, that's my son, isn't he great? It is true. Look at that. Can you spell? Am I what? Can you spell good? Ah spell it for me. I'm not doing it. Ha ha ha ha. I'll pass.

Starting point is 01:04:09 Someone's just about to get a nice fat check. Uh oh. There we go. Hell yeah, Pops pre-saged to put $3 million on that. Don't spend it on sneakers. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. $31 million. Yes, it is true. I actually watched it happen. He wrote it for $1 million.

Starting point is 01:04:25 Cam suggested make it three, and he just put a three in front of the one. $31 million. Amazing what Harlan is doing here tonight. Put it by some white bitches. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I love it. Here he is.

Starting point is 01:04:40 Darkness. There you go. Darkness. Hey, guys, I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. I'm so love it. Here he is. Darkness. There you go. Darkness. Oh my goodness. It is a Martin Luther King celebration up there. Absolutely incredible. He had a dream.

Starting point is 01:04:59 We're doing it, baby. We're living it. We're doing it. I love it. Is that a new blue hoodie? It's very blue. It's incredible. Come on, we outside, man. I got a little bread and I'm buying other colors. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:05:12 I can afford colors and shit. It's crazy, right? Yeah. Just a reminder, when we met Cam, he only wore plain white t-shirts and slides with white socks. And he said, no matter whatever happens to me, I'm never changing. I'm always going gonna stay this way. And he totally changed immediately.

Starting point is 01:05:27 It's literally only been six months. He does a new outfit every single week. Brand spanking new, blatantly fresh, never washed. I got new chain too. Oh. It's got to be bigger. Yeah. First one I ever got that I did not steal.

Starting point is 01:05:44 Come on, man. Absolutely. But I did not pay for it. So we outside baby. Hell yeah. It was a gift. Yeah, it was a gift from a girl. No, no, no. Sugar Sean gave it to me new year. Oh, wow. Sugar Sean O'Malley. Giveaway chains. Look at that. The Kill Tony universe never stops giving. He also fun fact is Sugar Sean lost a was it a bracelet? A diamond bracelet. That's why he gave me this one. So he bracelet fell and then I picked it up and gave it to him. I wanted to take it so bad. But I'm a good person now I changed. So I gave him this, I gave him the bracelet back. He was like bro thank you for giving me my bracelet back bro. He gave me the chain because I gave him the bracelet back.

Starting point is 01:06:23 Yeah you gave him his bracelet. And then a fun fact, we had a lot of fun on New Year's Eve. A fun fact is that he lost his bracelet again later that night. I got so scared. Because I was like, we don't find it again. I'm going to lose the chain. So we got to find the fucking bracelet, though. Yeah, we found it.

Starting point is 01:06:41 But we found it. Absolutely. Where'd you find it? Was it in his pocket? It was actually it was actually quite funny my buddy from high school Anthony found it and Told the bartender He goes hey, I just found sugar Sean's bracelet if you see him Let him know I have it and the bartender claimed that he found it

Starting point is 01:07:05 and it went on and on. Everybody thought they were going to get a gift from Sugar Sean O'Malley. It just spread like wild. But just to let you know, I found Sugar Sean's probably, I mean, I would guess hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars, according to Harlan's checkbook. A lot of money was the bracelet worth,

Starting point is 01:07:23 but we had a lot of fun. You have a new chain. Have you gotten that have you had gotten that appraised yet? Your Sugar Sean necklace? No, I didn't take it to the pawn shop and then, right. We'll never do that. That's crazy. It's insane. It's green in here.

Starting point is 01:07:34 I love it. Well, uh, you did it again. Another unbelievably incredible minute. Cam Patterson. Lot of dates coming up. A lot of fun stuff on the road with me. We're doing it. Living the American dream.

Starting point is 01:07:47 There he goes. Wow, he just gave away $31 million to the man in the front row. Absolutely incredible. Just giving it away. We're just handing it around. That is amazing. Shout out to the... It's weird he gave it to a Klondike guy. Ha ha ha ha.

Starting point is 01:08:06 Alright. Keeping it moving along. Another name out of the bucket. 60 seconds uninterrupted for Matt Robertson everybody. Here we go. Anything could happen. Could be the next star. Could be another bombing. Matt Robertson. Thank you. I've been waiting tables recently. Dreams do come true. I am a waiter I fucking did

Starting point is 01:08:26 it waiting tables it's okay it's not my dream job it's kind of like if you're a straight actor cast in the HIV treatment commercial like I'm happy for the work but this isn't the role I want to be remembered for you know what I mean that's just me I don't know we play a lot of... Yeah, we still play a lot of Michael Jackson in my restaurant, which is weird. There's a time they didn't play it, but now they do. You know, he's cool again. Uh, it's weird we didn't know Michael Jackson was a pedophile, because like, if you read the lyrics to his songs, it just sounds like a confession, you know?

Starting point is 01:09:03 I want to love you. You pretty young thing. This guy. I'm bad. I'm bad. I'm really, really bad. You know it. You know. You know.

Starting point is 01:09:19 Your butt is mine. I'm a pedophile. Get it? I'm a fucking pedophile. I left breadcrumbs. I just... You didn't get it. I just... I'm a pedophile. Get it. I'm a fucking pedophile. I left breadcrumbs. I just, you didn't get it. I just, I'm a pedophile. Thank you. Not me, Michael Jackson. Anyway. Okay. Right. I had to make that clear. Thank you so much.

Starting point is 01:09:34 Robertson. Yannis? Seems like that legacy is going to be a waiter. I think you will be known. Matt, how long have you been doing stand-up comedy? I was here with Tim. How long have you been doing stand-up comedy? Nine years. No one knows when and where you were.

Starting point is 01:09:53 Nine years, yeah, yeah. Nine years? Yeah. Jesus fucking Christ. Okay. You've been on the show once before? Yeah, with Tim in December. Yes.

Starting point is 01:10:03 Okay, with Tim in December. We had fun. What happened then? What do you mean we had fun? Well you don't remember yet. No I'm a waiter at Japanese restaurant. I take too long to come. Is this waiter ever gonna come? That's right. That's right. And you take too long to come. I still do. That's why your wife left you or something right? Correct. Yeah. Starting to come back to me. Yeah, it's all coming. Yeah, yeah, I am single. Uh-huh, we totally would have guessed that. How's dating life going for you? It's better now. Oh, the Tim Dillon gave me a bump.

Starting point is 01:10:34 I got some pussy, so thank you. I mean... Tim Dillon gave you a what? No, well, the Tim Dillon so gave me a little pussy bump. It gave you a pussy bump? Yeah, for sure. Okay, I think that's called HPV, but... A little bump on your pussy. Very good. You got me late. What happened?

Starting point is 01:10:47 How did you get late? Explain to the people what happens after someone like you. I mean, imagine what happens if you're anybody that looks human whatsoever. The fact that you can get put... Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus Christ. This is like if someone get jared from Subway,

Starting point is 01:11:09 testosterone. This is amazing. My God. Wow. Incredible. Okay. Okay, so how did you get pussy? Explain to the people. Oh, well, because I was on with Tim and we had... Oh, my God. If you say you were on with Tim Dillon again, I'm gonna go fucking ballistic. No, no, but... You were on the Tim and we had... Oh my god, if you say you were on with Tim Dillon again, I'm gonna go fucking ballistic. No, no, but...

Starting point is 01:11:27 You were on the show and then what? And then I got pussy. How did you get pussy? Oh, because someone was like, I saw you, we had fun, you know, I liked it and... Okay, so then what happens? You took them back to you? We had sex, I don't know well...

Starting point is 01:11:40 I think he's making it up as he's talking. Yeah, I think so. You know what? I've never done this before. But I'm gonna do this. Take this and you write me a fucking check, alright? Wow. Incredible.

Starting point is 01:11:55 I want $200,000 for sitting here and listening to a Jared from Subway, part two. It's true. It's true. Part two. The second foot long. I'm a non-prison. I'm doing better than Jared. Are you?

Starting point is 01:12:11 Yes. How do you know? What's better? He's getting raped in federal prison. I'm talking to you. I'm doing better. Well, I mean, well, that's debatable, yeah. I don't think you have a good barometer of how good you're doing on the show right now.

Starting point is 01:12:24 A lot of people would rather get raped in federal prison than be at least, at least raping you have some feeling, you know, there's, you get filled with something. Your time raped us. All right, give me the check. Four hundred thousand dollars for me. Matt, what did you get last time? A little joke book? No, a bit. You got a big one last time?

Starting point is 01:12:50 Are you fucking serious? You gave us your best minute that you wrote in nine years? No, it was a month, yeah. No, I got a big one. We had, you were nicer. Okay, no, no, no. Yeah. You were, I was nicer and you were probably better.

Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. Your Michael Jackson joke has probably been done five thousand times. Oh bad. I'm so bad. Oh no. You don't think anybody's covered that? Michael Jackson. Why don't you moonwalk your aspect of obscurity?

Starting point is 01:13:18 Go use your big joke book. I didn't love it. OK. I didn't love it. There he goes. He was on with Tim Dillon, everybody. Go watch that episode if you want to see him do good, obviously. He got all the pussy.

Starting point is 01:13:32 He got a pussy bump, everybody. All right. We're going to keep it moving along. Your next bucket pull goes by the name of Zach Hedtrick, everyone. Zach Hedtrick. One more time for Zach Hedgshirt, everyone. What's up? So I just moved here from Alabama. And dating has been super tough for me, you know, because I'm more than a thousand miles away from home

Starting point is 01:14:05 Has been having like a really tough time finding any cousins Some tough I think I'm not good at talking to women. I think older generations had it easier because they had song lyrics They helped them, you know They had lyrics like I'll lay you down and softly whisper. Pretty love words in your ear. Conway Twitty, beautiful.

Starting point is 01:14:31 I grew up singing lyrics like, make that pussy fart for the yin-yang twins. So I talked to girls, I said, does not work. It's not. Not good at talking to them. I'm not good at dirty talk either. I was with a chick recently, she kinda knew that. And she was like trying to pet me up for it.

Starting point is 01:14:50 She's like, come on, you can do this. You're a beast in the bed. You're a beast in the bed. And I was gonna say something a little similar, but switch it up a little. I was like, fuck you, I am, I am a sexual predator. I don't know, that's my town. There you go, Zach Hedrick, just beating the bear.

Starting point is 01:15:12 Now, that's interesting. We had Justin Hedrick on earlier. You're no relation to him. No. Wow, there you go. Thought you guys could have been brothers or something like that. No, brothers. That's pretty cool.

Starting point is 01:15:23 Okay. All right, so welcome. Zach, you've been on this show before. I have. I remember the Patented Headband. Yeah, that's fun. Absolutely. Good to say, is that true that you just moved here from Alabama?

Starting point is 01:15:32 Uh, nah, I've been here for about nine months now. Alright. Hell yeah. Fun, fun stuff. How's it going? Going good. What do you love about Austin, Texas? Uh, I don't know, dude. Uh, nothing really't know, dude. Uh, nothing really.

Starting point is 01:15:47 It kind of fucking sucks here. Really? It's better than, is it not better than Alabama? It's better than Alabama. It's pretty much just Alabama with Mexicans, you know, so. It's like, not quite as good, I guess you could say. And art and food, right? The food's really good. You don't like the art.

Starting point is 01:16:07 Yeah, that's cool. Culture, culture about the women, most beautiful women in the world. The women are good. I get the women are good to the women. Right. Fucking massive nod there. Right. I lived in Tampa before I moved here. So, Tampa's wild. Tampa's a fun place. Yeah, it's pretty cool too. Yep, it's a massive shooting. How do you say that, Yabor? Ebor. Yeah, Ebor.

Starting point is 01:16:31 Ebor. This week. Yeah. God, that goes. Do you wear the headband during the day as well? I just don't say it. You put it on before you go on? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:16:41 Why? I don't, I'm a, I used to be a pro wrestler. So I kind of like gimmicky stuff. Yeah. So I got to hold back to my roots. What was your wrestling name? Uh, Zach Aether. Wow.

Starting point is 01:16:53 Real jump from Zach Hedger. What made you choose? Aether. Uh, cause I'm, I thought that I read, uh, God of upper air is actually pronounced ether and I was like, I was calling it ether instead. So I was going with that. I did a bunch of like half line stuff. My finisher is a shooting star press.

Starting point is 01:17:11 Wow. That's an impressive maneuver. That's a forwards back flip. You jump forward while doing a back flip. That's the move that Brock Lesnar famously hit his head on. Broke his neck. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:24 WrestleMania. That's not an easy neck, yeah. Yeah. WrestleMania. That's not an easy move to do. Yeah. You still stay in shape? Stay in shape. How do you do that? Don't wrestle. I do a lot of crossfits.

Starting point is 01:17:32 I knew that was going to get nothing. I knew. You've been on this show before. You guys all hate me now. You've been on this show before, correct? Did you notice that you got a pussy bump after your appearance? Yeah. Let me ask you something, pussy bump after your appearance. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:17:45 Let me ask you something, Guy, and be honest. Yeah. When you're not doing stand up, are you traveling around the world in your van with a talking dog looking for ghosts? I wish my life was that good. Like if you're here, then like, who's that on your driver's license? I wish my life was that good. Like if you're here, then like who's that on your driver's license?

Starting point is 01:18:21 Ma'am, if you could look away, I hate your eyes. Wow. Ma'am, if you could look away, I hate your eyes. I love it. Zach, anything else we should know about you that we haven't found out from your previous interviews? Yeah, Heath, Cortez is my roommate. Whoa, you guys, a lot of you guys in that house, huh? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:18:40 Okay, how many is there? Just me, Heath, and Brent Reed. What about Velma and what's his name? Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. OK. That's fair. What's it like living with little Heath Cordes?

Starting point is 01:18:55 He's the man. I came home last night. The door was dead bolted because he was fucking a girl on our couch. Whoa. Heath famously lost his virginity before his appearance in the arena. And it's very interesting to see that he's keeping the momentum going.

Starting point is 01:19:14 Was her name Celia by any chance? No, it wasn't. It wasn't the sentient. Was it Cynthia? No. So, like when we came in, like so... Wait, when he came in the end, what'd you say? Were you there for that part? Would you cross her away? No, I wasn't there.

Starting point is 01:19:27 We walked in and she immediately darted to the bathroom. Like after he debolted it, we went to our rooms. We're like, we're not going to. I don't want to see Heath have sex. So I just got to be honest. You don't, you don't want to watch what appears to be an 11 year old boy. I don't think he's a 21 year old with a condition that makes him look like he's about 11.

Starting point is 01:19:48 Wow, talk about Benjamin Buttons or something. You said you had sex on a couch? Yeah, he was banging on our couch, dude. You were banging on a couch? He was. He was. The 11 year old boy was. It was pretty impressive.

Starting point is 01:20:03 Oh, good God. That is second girl, do you know? Second pretty impressive. Oh, good. That is second girl. Do you know the second second time ever? Do you know how he did? We're excited to find out more about that. Pretty good. I only talked to him for a little bit last night about it, but he was very happy.

Starting point is 01:20:16 So, okay, very good. Well, we're going to have to find out that it's indeed breaking news. Heath is fucking. He went from zero. They got the true pussy bump. You want to talk about a pussy bump? There's no doubt about it.

Starting point is 01:20:28 Lost his virginity before the arena show from a fan that flew in for the arena shows, and now he's just straight up fucking. That boy is going wild. Now, he deadbolted the main door, so you were locked out for about how long? Probably like two or three minutes. Yeah, it doesn't take long.

Starting point is 01:20:47 It doesn't take long. Just enough time for him to come. I can't wait to find out more from him. Thank you so much. Another appearance by Zach Hedrick. Yep, thank you. You have a little joke book? I had a big joke book and my car got stolen

Starting point is 01:20:59 and it was in it. Really? Your car got stolen? What kind of car was it? Toyota Corolla. Toyota Corolla. Toyota Corolla. Harlan with the check. Here we go. Here we go.

Starting point is 01:21:09 And you know what? Here's another big Kill Tony jokebook to make up for that. There you go. Toyota Corolla. Here's a thousand dollars. Get a new one. You know, one of the things that I fucking love about this show is that every once in a while there's a very short list of legends in the history of the show. Some of you know the great Dom Irerra. Who was it? There's been a lot of greats that have done a minute. Ron White has done a minute on this show. This is one of those moments where-

Starting point is 01:21:53 Nick Swarson. Nick Swarson, absolutely. What do I favorite ones? Definitely. Eddie Murphy, thank you. Yes, sir. It's done a minute on this show. Right now is one of those moments that you will never forget is I present to you

Starting point is 01:22:07 Performing gracing us with his presence Comedy royalty you know him from all of his hit movies all of his hit shows a Star for over fucking 40 years make some noise. This is a minute uninterrupted by the great and powerful Holy Shore Make some noise, this is a minute uninterrupted by the great and powerful Pauly Shore! Wow! Oh my goodness, it really is him everybody! Kill Tony, the comedy store! Pauly motherfucking store. Oh. Oh.

Starting point is 01:22:51 A lot of you guys going, that's not Polly's shirt, that's a homeless guy with AIDS. Oh. Oh. Fuck her, taking all the fucking juice from the room. Cock sucker. Fucking fuck. I'm gonna fucking cancel your flight tomorrow and you're not going to fucking Denver or Dallas to eat some pussy tomorrow night.

Starting point is 01:23:11 Like you fucking said, you cocksucker. Anyways, give it up for Harlan Williams. All right, so now my minute starts right here, right? Is that cool or no? Okay, anyways. So I knew I was gonna be here tonight on the Kill Tony show, so I was at the gym today working out for you people. I was gonna be here tonight on the Kill Tony show, so I was at the gym today working out for you people. I was on this machine.

Starting point is 01:23:29 I don't know what it's fucking called, but it's a cardio machine. Have you guys tried this machine? I'm on it for 45, what's it called? Elliptical. I'm on it for 45 minutes the whole time I'm thinking, what is this working out for? Had to get in a fight with the homosexual.

Starting point is 01:23:43 I was walking across the street four homos tried to attack me. I said get the fuck away from me. They're like Ronnie's been working on the elliptical. Ah, it hurts, it burns. Someone asked me recently if I was gay. Do I look gay? Fuck you, I'll throw this microphone at your fucking head like Fred Durst from 1999. No, I do, I do.

Starting point is 01:24:21 I walk gay, I talk gay, I have a gay name, Polly. That's pretty fucking gay. I asked my mom, is it Polly like Italian? She said, no, Polly like fag. But she said. But I was at the gym, I was at the gym, and I was watching these gay dudes, they were doing lunges right in front of me.

Starting point is 01:24:41 And they do lunges just like you and I, but when they do them, they have a dildo in every third step. And I saw the fucking nudies like this, oh, fuck yeah. Oh, fuck yeah. And the guy just fucking walks off, like everything's fucking cool.

Starting point is 01:24:55 I'm like, what the fuck, bro? Wipe your dildos down, dude. Where's your Germanic kit? The great and powerful Pauly Shore, ladies and gentlemen. Gracing us. Wow. Okay. All right. Okay. Holly, that's enough of the physical fucking, physical humor here. Polly, great set. Unbelievable. Two minutes and 15 seconds of thunder and lightning.

Starting point is 01:25:42 I thought it was fantastic. I didn't appreciate you talking about disrespecting my lunges at the gym that you saw me do earlier. It's not easy out there trying to keep workouts entertaining. And I went back, I cleaned the dildos later after you left. Welcome back to the show, Paulie Shore. Kill Tony Royalty, Comedy Store Royalty. The son of the creator of the Comedy Store, Paulie Shore, Killtony Royalty, Comedy Store Royalty, the son of the creator of the comedy store,

Starting point is 01:26:09 Mitzy Shore and the great Sammy Shore. We love having you. You're a real big part of this Texas thing that's happening. You just keep coming back for more again and again and again. Famously, Hollywood Beverly Hills LA Jesus. You get that burp saved up. He's been holding that instance and seen. Oh man. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. What is going on? Yonis isn't having it.

Starting point is 01:26:43 Yonis isn't having it. Wow. Do you know Yonis? I just met him upstairs. Okay. Yeah, so. I love it. I like him, but you know how it is. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:26:56 These New Yorkers, they don't do a lot of the touchy touchy. Oh, New York, okay, I get it. That's why he's a little resistant. Not like this fucking little guy guy likes me to touch him. Come on, get your pants clean. No, this has been fun. Ha ha ha ha ha. Those are, those are a lot of action, those pants.

Starting point is 01:27:15 Great pants, nice to see mold is coming back. Ha ha ha ha. I'm a fucking cop sucker. What was he in? Rocket fucking man? And what was it? The other thing? I was getting a bite of choice. He was supposed to be in Biodome, right? I was in the movie. I was in the movie.

Starting point is 01:27:38 I was in the movie. I was in the movie. I was in the movie. I was in the movie. I was in the movie. What was he in rocket fucking man, and what was it some the other He was supposed to be in biodome right is that where you keep saying I was originally cast in bio Don't they booted me off and they put you in shut the fuck up Give him a hand. That's my son. Isn't he great? Huh free up gonna be a girl in the morning. It is amazing to be up here with both of you. I mean, I have been watching you guys for fucking, what is it, 20 years or whatever.

Starting point is 01:28:20 Yeah, the movie started, when did you do your stuff? No, Z. It was like 30 years ago. Yeah, the movie started, when did you do your stuff? No, Z. No. It was like 30 years ago. Yeah, I was eight years old when Dumb and Dumber came out with the great Harlan Williams. And of course, half baked, a huge part of my fucking childhood. Me, myself and Irene. No thanks. I'm busy. So many greats.

Starting point is 01:28:47 Was supposed to be the Amish guy in Kingpin, but had a series that he had to do instead. That's right. Yeah. Oh, my God. But let's keep the focus on Paul, shall we? We were supposed to do... We were supposed to do in scene, old man, too, but Brendan Fraser fucked up and got an Oscar, bro. Yeah. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:29:04 He's not going from, We're supposed to do, we were supposed to do in Xenoman 2, but Brendan Fraser fucked up and got an Oscar, bro. Yeah. Yeah. He's not going from an Oscar to fucking in Xenoman 2. Yeah, you just should have pushed in Xenoman 2 just two or three years ago, and you would have had it.

Starting point is 01:29:18 I spoke to Andy Dick recently. Oh, wow, we're going over all the 90s. He wanted to do celebrity boxing with me. Oh, wow, we're going over all the 90s. He wanted to do celebrity boxing with me. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm like, dude, I'm desperate, not that fucking desperate, all right? I'm pretty sure you could be in him with your elliptical training.

Starting point is 01:29:34 Right. And then Stephen Baldwin from Biodome is a Jesus freak now. I don't know if you guys watch him on Instagram, but he's pretty funny. Jesus music plays, and he just fucking cries, bro. It's hilarious. He's just like, oh,, but he's pretty funny. Jesus music plays and he just fucking cries, bro. It's hilarious. He's just like, oh, I'm like unfollow. I had to unfollow him.

Starting point is 01:29:49 But I loved all my movies. I loved all my movies that I did back in the day. The full evolution of Pauly Shore and unbelievably talented stand-up comedian been doing it since you were... How old are you when you started? 17. Yeah, 17 years old. Yeah, my whole life's been a two drink minimum. I've been doing it since you were... How old were you when you started? 17.

Starting point is 01:30:05 17 years old. Yeah, my whole life's been a two-drink minimum, pretty much. Yeah. Pretty much. No, I started at the comedy store. My parents started it when I was just a little kid. I was probably like four years old. My parents, my mom and dad started it.

Starting point is 01:30:21 And I grew up there. My whole life, I grew up around the greats. And I remember when these guys first came out there many years ago Tony was working the door he was working the phones he was stealing my mom's money behind the fucking boot no no that was Renaz easy sorry it wasn't me no so it's been a pretty cool it's been a pretty cool run and I'm obviously very happy for you guys out here every time I come here my heart melts because Joe's here He started the the bar downstairs on behalf of my mom

Starting point is 01:30:51 He took the spirit of my mom and brought it in here, and that's what it really did Really did it lives on the the levels the door guys are all Absolutely killing it the openers are turning into features. The features are turning into headliners. The headliners here are absolutely killing it. And you, you, fuck dude, you have come a long way. I mean, like Tony tells me, yo, Tony tells me about a month ago

Starting point is 01:31:20 we're texting, we're talking, and this was before it was announced that he's doing Madison Square Garden in the fucking forum And I'm like he's like it's coming and then literally next week They fucking put it on for sale And I saw this show start in the belly room of the comedy store in front of like three people Yeah, there was like them in the ding dong show that was pretty much it right and now look at this And so I'm really happy for Tony and it's pretty

Starting point is 01:31:44 Of course red band red And of course, Red Band, Red Band. Of course. He's the ying to your ying. Yeah, totally. Wouldn't be able to do it without him. I mean, totally. Have you seen this guy look up a song on Sound? There he is, the Red Band sound effect.

Starting point is 01:32:04 And I'm just picking around. There he is, the red band sound effect. And I'm just pigging around. There he is, the pig to my yang. We have a lot of fun. Paulie, you're killing it. You have, tell the people about the new. Yeah, well we have a show here. I think Joe asked me to be on his show tomorrow night. Your pants look like a razor, No, this is when you're this is what happens cool, right? Is this cool or no? Oh, yeah

Starting point is 01:32:31 So I'll be on his show tomorrow and then I have a show here on Wednesday night those pants are very telling I see Polly and the weasel right now look at this fucking thing Dude want to touch the nub bro? Look at that touch the little nub Look at this. Touch the little nub. Look at that. I see your little bitsy shore down there. Yeah, I'm saying it. No, we got the Richard Simmons biopic,

Starting point is 01:32:54 which I'm playing the role of Richard Simmons. We're working on that, so you'll see that shit that's coming out. And Paulie. And the Crusties is absolutely booming. I don't know if you guys know, but Paulie is a band. He's the front man of a band, Paulie and the Crustys is absolutely booming. I don't know if you guys know, but Pauly is a band. He's the front man of a band, Pauly and the Crustys. You wanna do a little song for us here tonight? Well, I want to, but it's up to them.

Starting point is 01:33:13 Do they want me to do a song? You want Pauly to do a song? The best damn band in the land, back in them up. What are we doing tonight, Pauly? I was at the red, the red blue ribbon. What's the strip club called? The Red Rose, proud sponsor of sponsor of Tony through it all. We got your very own Isabella here tonight.

Starting point is 01:33:30 She's going to help me with the dance. And this song is called Bad of the Bone by George Thoregood. I hope you guys enjoy it. Oh shit. There we go. Paulie Shore. A lot of people are like maybe now's going to time for a smoke break outside.

Starting point is 01:33:44 No better time. So press play. let's go. Press play. This is a live band, we don't really press play here. Press play. Come on, Austin, motherfucking. Make some noise for Paulie Shore, everybody. On the day I was born, nurses all gather round

Starting point is 01:34:06 They say the white window to the chore that you found The head nurse woke up, said lead this one along She could tell right away, she's ready to bone She's ready to bone, ready to bone, ready to bone. Get that fold away from me. I want a fucking bone. It's like raising bread. All right, all right, all right. That's good, Paulie.

Starting point is 01:34:37 That's good. Paulie, live. Uh-oh. There goes the table for sure. All right. I feel like I just Pauly, live. Uh-oh, there goes the table for sure. All right. I feel like I just talented a senior.

Starting point is 01:34:48 OK, Pauly, the table's not built for that. All right, there he goes. Pauly's short, everybody. Sauna. There he goes. There he goes. Makes a nice look, Pauly. He brought the worst stripper from the Red rose with them. It's on me.

Starting point is 01:35:09 I don't think she was one of the dancers. I'm telling you they're an official sponsor of the show. They have a lot better than that at the red rose on the yellow rose. Don't let that oh you guys okay. I'm sorry. What do you want? You don't want me to make jokes anymore? Okay, I'll do a serious episode the rest of the show. I think Paul... I think Paul one more time for this stunning girl from the Red Roses.

Starting point is 01:35:31 I think Paulie heard her wrong. She said she was a paint stripper. I think Paulie heard her wrong. She said she was a paint stripper. I think Paulie heard her wrong. Ugh. I think Paulie heard her wrong. She said she was a paint stripper. I think Paulie heard her wrong. She said she was a paint stripper. I think Paulie heard her wrong. She said she was a paint stripper. Oh, Jesus, Polly's pants. It looks like Picasso at diarrhea. It is unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Starting point is 01:35:48 How about one more time for Polly, everybody? All right, we got to go back to this bucket again. Make some noise for your next comedian. 60 seconds uninterrupted going to Pria Bluntz, everyone. Pria Bluntz. Pria Bluntz. Pria Bluntz. Pria Bled going to Priya Bluntz, everyone. Priya Bluntz.

Starting point is 01:36:09 Okay, it's Priya. What's up, guys? I just recently came back from Columbia, the country. We got any Colombians here? All right, let's talk shit. I saw a beauty service down there where you can take brown nipples and tattoo them into pink nipples. I know.

Starting point is 01:36:33 Usually I support women with whatever they want to do to their bodies, you know, but I do also believe, like at the very least, shouldn't your nipples match your pussy lips? Like, if you're fucking some guy you don't think he's gonna notice, you have, like, turkey nipples and a pastrami pussy. You know? Like, your pussy's saying, I puppy! And then your nipples are like, sorry, I don't speak Mexican. All right, I'm Priya Bluntze, my nipples are still brown.

Starting point is 01:37:05 Whee! Pre-ablaze, 50 seconds. Very good set. Thank you, thank you. You've been on this show before, correct? I have not been on this show before, but I've done the roast battle here. Okay, and I judged it.

Starting point is 01:37:18 You did. That's where I know you from. Absolutely. How did that go that night? I don't remember. I won. Very good, yeah. Very funny stuff. Where are you from? New York City.

Starting point is 01:37:29 How long have you lived here? You live here now? I do not live here. I was just here for a week. Yeah. OK. How'd the week go for you? It was cute. It was cute. I did like a bunch of shows every night. I did the mic right before this. I had a good time. Yeah. Austin's a good time.

Starting point is 01:37:42 Yes. Lots of shows to do, lots of fun to be had. What did you do non comedy related that was fun here? Uh, I ate barbecue. I fucked a really tall guy. Oh, look at that. Were you the pussy bump? No. Oh my God. No. Okay. They don't have a lot of tall guys in New York. That's true, Giannis. Not a lot of... It's not a lot of tall guys in New York. Have you heard of the Knicks?

Starting point is 01:38:16 They even have a tall Asian, I do believe there. Yeah, there's one. There's tall guys in New York, I think. I don't know where they are. Hey, where'd you meet the tall guy? Where'd you meet him? I want to call him a chuckle fucker, because he saw my set and then was just really into me. Right?

Starting point is 01:38:34 Well, John Wayne Gacy was a chuckle fucker, too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I might want to watch your step there, corn on the cob, Sally. So this guy came up to you after your set. What was his line?

Starting point is 01:38:51 Uh, I used to play football. And that was it. That's all you remember. Yeah. You invited him back to your hotel? Yeah. Okay. That's a lot of... Okay, okay. Nothing like fucking someone washed up. He used to play football? Yeah. Okay. That's a lot of, okay, okay. Nothing like fucking someone washed up.

Starting point is 01:39:05 He used to play football? Yeah. Well, don't, yeah, me. That's all, yeah, you're right back. And he'll, Yanny Poppiss you right back. Oh, Yanny Poppiss you right back. Is that all it took was just I used to play football and you're like, let's fuck?

Starting point is 01:39:25 I mean, he's really hot. Did he say high school, college? What is, do you know what D1 is? I don't know what that is. Yeah, D1. Hell yeah, that's college. And if he said D1 without saying the college, then that's probably not that great of a college.

Starting point is 01:39:41 It was D1. That's all it takes to get 1D for you. DUDE! So... By the way, this is just off for some of the nerds out here. D1 is also one of the lesser-known robots from Star Wars Chapter 3. That is true. It's true. It is true.

Starting point is 01:40:00 I did also shoot guns. I shot guns out here. Okay. Do you know what kind of guns you shot? I should have led with that. Sounds like a violent date. It was the semi-automatic. What ethnicity are you? I'm Indian.

Starting point is 01:40:13 Okay. All right. Straight up regular Indian? Yup. Okay. Not Middle Eastern at all. No. So you had no urge while shooting the semi-automatic to just shoot it straight up in the air like that in celebration of getting D1B.

Starting point is 01:40:33 No, I did not do that. Right. Okay. Very interesting. What are your Indian parents think about you chasing such an elusive dream of being a standup comedian? Oh, they hate it, obviously. Right, what did they want you to be?

Starting point is 01:40:46 Just a doctor. Right, exactly. And when did you know you weren't gonna be a doctor? Very young, maybe when I was like 17. Right. What did you wanna do when you were 17? I wanted to be a lawyer. Mm, they were still proud of you at that point.

Starting point is 01:41:03 And then how old were you when you decided you wanted to be? Actually, my mom said that I couldn't be a lawyer because why would anybody choose a brown woman as their lawyer when there's all these Jewish men? Wow. Which is valid. And now I do comedy where there's even more Jewish men. That's true.

Starting point is 01:41:19 That's true. And you stand out. You stand out in a pile. Very good. Priya, what else? Anything else we should know about you? Any special skills or talents? I roll a mean blunt.

Starting point is 01:41:34 Oh, really? Is your last name really blunt? No. No, you have a wacky Indian name that you're avoiding. It's actually Patel. It's very unwacky. It's actually Patel. It's very unwacky. It's actually Patel. It is not even that Indian of a name. I roll a mean block. I do not sound like that. I don't

Starting point is 01:41:58 even sound like that. What are you the Indian C-3PO for fuck's sake? I do not like that. I would roll you a blunt, I would fucking hold football player. I am D1 3PO. I can go backstage and oil yourself. I am R2-D1. Okay. I love it. So you roll a mean blunt. Very good.

Starting point is 01:42:28 Okay, that's good. She rolls a mean football player too. Hello. Hello. Ding. Ha ha ha. Priya, fun stuff. A great set.

Starting point is 01:42:40 We'd love to see more of you. Come back next time you're in town. Sign up again. Thank you guys. Amazing stuff. How long are're in town sign up again. Thank you guys amazing stuff We love how long are you in town for I leave on Wednesday leave on Wednesday? I used to play college You know what I think might be fun for you the great Brian Simpson hosts an Unbelievable show here at the mothership called bottom of the barrel where the audience decides premises you pick them out of the barrel You can have your first actual set here

Starting point is 01:43:05 at the mother's ship tomorrow night. You wanna do that? Oh, hell yeah. Bottom of the barrel, tomorrow night, Priya Blunt brought to you by Brian Simpson. You're on the show, the late show, the 10 or 1030, whatever it is. Priya Blunt's everybody, there she goes.

Starting point is 01:43:19 Follow her at Priya Blunt's, and we are up down to your final bucket pull of the night. And he goes by the name, anything can happen, goes by the name of Davy Jackson. 60 seconds uninterrupted. Davy Jackson. Here we go. What's up, Austin? Oh, man, I'm so glad I dressed like a competitive vapor tonight.

Starting point is 01:43:40 This is cool. I'm excited. Um, question for God. This is cool. I'm excited. Question for God. If God didn't want me to have sex with Down syndrome people... Hang on. Whoa. If God didn't want me to have sex with Down syndrome people, why did he make all their asses so fat? Like, all of them? They're all caked up fucking dump trucks on

Starting point is 01:44:06 retard. What? All of Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Starting point is 01:44:30 Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Starting point is 01:44:37 Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.

Starting point is 01:44:44 Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. gonna in there, Tony. I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna do that. Okay, you don't want to finish it? I mean, it's all good. The bears out of the action now. If you want to finish it. Okay, you had OCD, flip the light switch. Go ahead. Well, no, we were laying in bed, actually. But I was laying in bed, she was fucking with the light switch. And she flipped this thing like 20, 30 times. And I finally asked her, I was like, Hey, are you cool? Is everything good? And she goes, I just feel like if I don't do it right, something bad's gonna happen to my whole family. And I was like, yeah, bitch, it's me.

Starting point is 01:45:14 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Davey Jackson with an absolutely incredible performance. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. This is unbelievably well performed, well written, well executed performance.

Starting point is 01:45:33 It's so cool to see that Chris D'Alias reinvented himself. I was thinking... Unbelievable. 17's legal in Texas, though. That's. Wow. Davey, how long you been doing stand up? About four and a half years now. Four and a half years.

Starting point is 01:45:52 Have you been on the show before? I have. OK. I'm the guy that sold pills. Sold pills. Yeah. OK. For legal reasons, I do not sell pills anymore.

Starting point is 01:46:01 Right. Please stop DMing me. Please. Right. Totally don't sell pills. What kind of pills were you selling before? Uh... The good kind, Tony.

Starting point is 01:46:12 Okay. A lot of, you know, opiates. Okay. Little Xanax. Alright. Yeah. Okay. Very good, very good.

Starting point is 01:46:21 It goes on and on. Got the Barbies out here. A real full market. You have any birth? Any, any what? Birth, birth, control pills. Oh, birth is short for birth control. He's got it real good at what you do there guy.

Starting point is 01:46:38 Yeah. I don't want to find a good pair of stairs and this guy doesn't even know. Holy fuck. Put on a lumberjacket. Go suck on the front end of a canoe. You know, I've heard that before. Harlan, that's crazy. By the time he figured out what birth control pills, the fucking baby was born already. No, they're all in heaven. Tony, where's the stupid? already. No, they're all in heaven. Tony, where's the stupid

Starting point is 01:47:09 would have been better if I had you on the fucking. Yeah, that's a red. That's why I read band. Okay, so, Davey, how long has it been since you were on the show ballpark? Like six months, six months. Okay. Yeah. Last time I talked about being homeschooled and then Jesus cult. Jesus, there he is. There he is. It was that bad? Jesus Christ, Redman. Okay.

Starting point is 01:47:29 So you were homeschooled, blah, blah, blah, blah. What's been going on since the last six months that you were on the show? You live here in Austin now? No, no, I live in San Antonio. Okay. Hold your applause. How's that going?

Starting point is 01:47:41 I mean, it's cool, man. It's actually really cool there. We just, we have a lot of Latin women. Yeah, which I love You do all right. You were like stabbed by one or something Yeah, Paulie called me out that he couldn't find the scar, but I got stabbed in the ribs. Yeah, right I kind of remember this. Yeah. Yeah, and how the Latina women been treating you lately. Oh amazing dude They're all crazy as shit. Yeah, and I love that.

Starting point is 01:48:05 You like them crazy. Very much so. So what type of crazy things have they been doing to you lately? Oh, fuck. Oh, stabbing them in the ribs. One of them got me a... What?

Starting point is 01:48:15 Why the fuck did she stab me in the ribs? What provoked that? You told her that she was bad at dancing to Bad to the Bone with Pauly Shore? Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You told her her she was bad at dancing to bad to the bone with polyshore You told her her ass wasn't as fat as a retarded girl and She got upset dude a retard Latin Boy, oh, yeah

Starting point is 01:48:44 That's my speed absolutely. That's where the extra chromosome goes. That's how you like it. No doubt. No doubt. The old fucking, the old wild chalupa. That's my housekeeper's name, actually. Very interesting that you have a housekeeper. What do you do for work? now I just do comedy. And don't sell pills. And do not sell pills at all. You're a real dirtball. What? I've also heard that before, yeah. Did something happen from the last episode

Starting point is 01:49:14 that changed your mind of being so public about you being a drug dealer? Yeah, Reddit happened. Reddit and my DMs happened. It was like, like, your fans are insane, Tony. They're insane. They're humans. and my DMs happened. It was like, like your fans are insane, Tony. They're insane. They're humans.

Starting point is 01:49:28 I got like 50 DMs asking like, hey, can you get me like some bars or something? Well, 47 of those were probably police officers. You ever think about that? I mean, probably, yeah, that's probably true. Davey, very, very, very fun jokes. You drive often from San Antonio to perform here? Every week.

Starting point is 01:49:51 Right. Yeah. Because there's not much of a scene there other than LOL comedy. I mean, there's a, yeah, LOL's great. There's Upstage Comedy Lounge is really cool too. Yeah, there's a couple places. Can I circle back to something? Absolutely. Why did she stab you in the ribs?

Starting point is 01:50:08 Okay. She had gone through my phone and I was okay. Go ahead, it's okay. I'm just a man. She went through my phone and she found some text messages that she did not approve of. Wow, so you were texting a rib place? A ribs place? No, it wasn't the food. She didn't stab his ribs like the meal. It was his actual body organ.

Starting point is 01:50:36 Hey, my bad. Fuck me. You thought she stabbed his leftover ribs? You thought she stabbed his leftover ribs? Why? We are in Austin. Oh, you ever... Terry Blacks goes hard. It goes hard in the paint. If you can make it, I'd love to have you on the Secret Show Thursday here in Boston, Texas.

Starting point is 01:50:56 Oh, I'd love to, man. Yeah, absolutely. There you go. Thank you so much. You already have a big show book. There you go. Davy Jackson, everybody. There you go.

Starting point is 01:51:04 Here's some Zipix energy toothpicks. With the great people over at Zipix, Zip more, smoke less. And we've come to that time ladies and gentlemen. Oh my god. How many of you have been fans for the show for a long time? Well then you guys probably know what's about to happen. Hall of Fame member. You guys probably know what's about to happen. Paula Faye, the record holder for all time appearances on the show and interviews on the show.

Starting point is 01:51:32 I present to you the Tijuana tarantula, the Rio Grande Ravel Rouser, the Carolina Caboose, the Memphis Strangler, vanilla gorilla. This is the big red machine William Montgomery Shhh! He fucking sold me pills a couple of nights ago, so I don't know what the fuck he's talking about. Last week an elderly couple in South Carolina was found dead in their home after the faulty heater in their house reached a thousand degrees. Good thing they died because their utility bill was about to be fucking brutal. They have released the list of men

Starting point is 01:52:41 who partied with Jeffrey Epstein. And one of the more surprising names was the paralyzed astronomer Stephen Hawking. I'm sure the conversation went something like, hello little girl, I feel nothing in my entire body and my penis doesn't function at all but I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink.

Starting point is 01:53:14 I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. I'm gonna go get a drink. Take boom. He did it again and again and again and again and again and again and again Unbelievable one minute 15 seconds

Starting point is 01:53:33 From the reigning defending Hall of Fame member and legend of the show icon in every single way William lights out Montgomery. How do you feel William? I will be honest with y'all I wanted to relapse on cocaine tonight. Corduroy Xavier who was here earlier there was a time when I was doing Kill Tony at the comedy store and I went back to Corduroy Xavier's place one night after the show and was there till 11 a.m. the next day and at one point in time I remembered thinking, is this guy gonna fucking kill me? But then I thought, wait, maybe he should be scared of me.

Starting point is 01:54:13 Maybe I'm about to fucking kill this dude. And I let him, I let it not happen. I stopped myself, I didn't fucking kill him. But there was a point in time where I was like, maybe I preemptively need to just fucking strangle his fucking ass before he takes me out. But then I started thinking, Tony, I'm not built for prison, I don't wanna,

Starting point is 01:54:33 I had to stop watching fucking scared straight. I was having fucking nightmares about being in prison. So Tony, I can't even watch gay straight-ed-able, man. Tony, I can't even watch gay straight up all that. Tony, I can't even watch gay straight up all that. I've been working on that a bunch, Rhys. Can't even watch that shit up all that. But yeah, Corderoi Xavier and I, we got fucked up on cocaine one night. So this is back in your heavy drinking, heavy drug days.

Starting point is 01:55:06 Yeah, this is probably 2020 maybe. And how much drugs are drinking do you think you did that night? If you had to guess. The people know that. I mean, this is really a gram of cocaine and there were cameras from San Antonio go wild there. I know that's a bunch of fucking drug addicted fucking pieces of shit down in San Antonio. I wish you didn't even fucking bring up San Antonio, Tony. No, I like San Antonio, but it was, uh, yeah, it was quite the evening,

Starting point is 01:55:38 but it's much better to be on the other side of that. Right. Yes, here you are. Absolutely thriving. There were a lot of, you know, people don't remember. There was a lot of sloppy sets back then, a lot of unpreparedness, a lot of a lack of execution. And, but I saw something special in you back then. You got to remember, and a lot of people don't remember this, you probably do, but 96% of the fan base hated you for a long time. I remember.

Starting point is 01:56:07 I remember. Yeah. Are you gonna write me a check tonight? As you've been writing everybody checks tonight. How much do you want, kid? I just need another 175 to get the escalator back to the apartment. I need 75 bucks away from you.

Starting point is 01:56:26 Great call, $175 and I've been handing out millions to everyone else. $175. Can I ask a question that it sounds like you have a rich history here? It sounds like a lot. I think I'm trying to think of one question that maybe nobody's ever asked if you know if you'll indulge me friend Yeah, have you ever snuck up into the graveyard in the middle of the night? Covered your face in gravy and pretended you were a meatloaf monster Yeah, yeah, no I have there's a graveyard in Memphis with a stone grotto

Starting point is 01:57:03 And I used to the stone grotto was where I loved when I was the meatloaf monster Thank you for your honesty. Thank you for sharing like what would you do to be the meatloaf monster? How in what ways was the meatloaf monster different than William Montgomery? I was only fucking around You'll be surprised this guy really has a rich history. Wow, okay, let's go. Yeah, no, I mean it would take me sometimes hours to find my way into the stone grotto. And I mean, once I got into the stone grotto in the graveyard, it would take me, I don't know,

Starting point is 01:57:37 30 minutes to get all the meatloaf on my face, all the gravy on my face. I'd have to get everything just right. And yeah, I mean, it's another 45 minutes to find my way out of the grotto and the thing. So yeah, it took a lot of time. Oh, you are. You're just a little darling.

Starting point is 01:58:00 He used to not be. He used to be a real troublemaker. And then, um. Not now. Now he's a meatloaf darling Yeah, I know I love me. I don't know what point but at some point he got scared straight so It's hard to scare the gay out of someone but good for you Thank you Thank you. Yeah, no, he said it scared straight. He said

Starting point is 01:58:27 You are so funny. What are my favorites of all time? That's the best scared straight joke I've ever oh the entire book fuck yeah knock yourself out KFC and get the extra large coleslaw you know what's crazy I'm actually a member of a dolphin bank with no numbers, no. Let me read it to you. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Starting point is 01:58:53 Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Starting point is 01:59:01 Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Tsk, tsk, tsk. little Donnie meatloaf William anything else that we need to know about you before I was I was in Rochester this past weekend and I have to say I love garbage plates I had eight garbage plates and Tony I finally had my all brand buds today and I had a large pizza last night as well I I've been on a fight. I've been on one recently with the yeah, but yeah. Now I ate the all brand buds today and I have shit five times today. So amazing.

Starting point is 01:59:32 Yeah. Feeling pretty good right now. There's a lot going on there. What do you have in your hoodie pocket there? What's in the pocket of your hoodie? About last night. Oh, I was asking about the hoodie, not even the vest, but let's go. What's in the vest? No, nothing's in here. Oh, nothing. Oh, yeah. No, nothing. Looks

Starting point is 01:59:52 like it was stuffed with something. Billy, but he has an Audi. No, there's nothing in there. So what's in there? You have anything in here? Nothing in your pocket. No. How about your sweatpants? No, I don't have stuff in that front pocket there. Yeah. Well, how about your sweatpants? No, I'm a little something stuffed in that front pocket there. Yeah, well it's fucking 15 degrees outside. It's a nightmare outside right now. I hate it. Do you get harder when it's cold outside? Yeah, yeah, what do you got in there? You got a little Florida Gator in there. Got a little medium red machine. Got a little Tijuana tarantula.

Starting point is 02:00:26 Little Raleigh fucking recluse. It's like you got something hiding out in there. You get harder. Okay. Did you just do the Pillsbury Doughboy laugh? Yeah. Yeah. Looks like you got to roll a cookie dough in your pants.

Starting point is 02:00:54 What are we working with down there, William? Those sweatpants are very revealing. Nothing says loving like an erection in blue track pants. This was such a mistake to have worn these fucking sweatpants tonight. I was trying to have fun tonight and I was seeming alright. I don't think it's a mistake at all. I think it's a word out there to anyone who threatens you, or, you know, I think it's a brag to your enemies.

Starting point is 02:01:24 It appears as though you have one of the largest flaccid penises I think it's a brag to your enemies. It appears as though you have one of the largest flaccid penises in the history of the show. It looks like a Smurf got hit by a toboggan. It's not that funny, dumbass. Oh my God, somebody's looking sloppy tonight. Oh shit. Holy shit. Fuck. Wow.

Starting point is 02:01:53 He's dressed like he got a call from the police station that his son's in jail and he's gotta go bail him out tonight. It's a middle of the night attire that you're wearing. Did you get dressed really fast tonight? Were you napping perhaps? And you had to... Yeah, I mean, it's freezing cold outside and we lost power at the apartment and my fuck,

Starting point is 02:02:13 and I got this little generator thing and it wasn't working so it's freezing cold and this is all, this is what I've been wearing for two days, two days now. Wow. The sweatpants and those shoes just... Yeah. There's two things that couldn't go together worse than those...

Starting point is 02:02:29 Yeah. It's not that funny, you fucking idiot! God, you look... William! God! Looks like you're about to go log rolling at a blueberry festival. And I mean that, I mean that. That and there's a fucking beekeeper behind you, watch out. Wow, he's actually been a beekeeper on this show before.

Starting point is 02:02:57 He's been losing full beekeeper attire. I have, I remember the guy... I'm talking about the drummer. Oh. Oh. I see it. Yeah. I see it now. I see it. William, we announced recently that the show is going to the LA Forum and two shows at

Starting point is 02:03:19 Madison Square Garden. How does this make you feel knowing that you're performing at some of the biggest, most famous arenas in the world? I mean, I'm gonna be honest with y'all right now, at the very beginning when I first tried Albright and Buds, I was like, is this stuff even, is this stuff for real? And then I found out it was, and then Tony, I'm here in the news, Madison Square Gardens,

Starting point is 02:03:38 I'm taking it to myself, is this for real? And then I fucking wake up one morning and I'm taken, holy shit, I don one morning and I'm taken holy shit I don't know if I'm ever gonna stop oh my god yeah you love it right then you bitch fucking idiot don't look at me like that William the Great Montgomery everybody. And we did it again. Harlan Williams has the Harlan Highway Podcast available everywhere. Dallas, Texas at Hyenas, February 9-10, the honest, pop-ass hour available everywhere.

Starting point is 02:04:19 San Francisco at Cobbs, February 9-10, the from Ryan Jebeld is in and it is unbelievable. Thank you to Jebeld, Lester, Yellow Bros, Red Rose, Austin Security Guard Service Hall, Lawn Firm, Ninja Buses, Connect Mobile Health, and MichaelLair.Threatless.com. Let's see what Chris Rogers drew tonight. Whoa, wild William Montgomery. What?

Starting point is 02:04:40 How about one more time for the best damn band in the land, the Kill Tony band? That's Carlos Sosa, Raul Ovaejo, Michael Gonzalez, Matt Mueling, John Dees, and B. Madness. How about one more time for Janice Poffice and Harlan Williams, everybody. Thank you to everyone, the mothership. Make sure you overtip your waitstaff. We'll see you at the forum in Madison Square Garden Check out the sunset strip ATX comm if you're ever in Texas second highest ceilings in the biz. That's right

Starting point is 02:05:13 We love you guys. Thank you. Good night everybody වවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවව� Music වවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවවව� Music you

KILL TONY - #649 - HARLAND WILLIAMS + YANNIS PAPPAS

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