Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 476 - Blonkies (feat. Theo Von)
Episode Date: January 9, 2024Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Theo @ theovon.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch YO.... How are you all doing today? We're here with the weekly episode of the podcast. This week the D.A.W.G.Z. are joined by the good brother Theodore Von. Hot ass mf cast. Please enjoy. God Bless you all. Get 25% OFF @ trueclassic with Promo Code DRENCHED at https://trueclassictees.com/DRENCHED #trueclassicpod New customers can score $200 instantly in bonus bets for throwing down just $5 on the NFL. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & use code DRENCHED
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hey, there we go. We're here yet to get that we got to get that snake venom out. Yeah, that's good. Oh, yeah, dude
Yeah, good to see you guys
I mean, thank you for doing this. Oh, yeah, thanks for having me man happy to be here today, dude
Yeah, I was just thinking about something earlier like what
I don't know
We're on the carnivore diet. We can talk about just eating meat. We talk about having fun
Yeah, yeah, oh you guys are on it. Yeah, but are y'all dip and also? No
I believe it is yeah dip. Oh, I think that
It is play a bass that is true. We're not eating it, but I'm spinning it out. Oh, you're spinning it out. Yeah
Yeah, I've done the car. I had at one time, I had a podcast, I was doing the carnivore
diet and I could barely talk, I didn't have energy in my body.
How many days in was it?
I think almost maybe 34 hours in, 39 hours.
It was about that.
Yeah, it fucks me.
I thought you were about to say 34 days and I was like, fuck, I have no shot.
I would like fall asleep like this.
Like, I would talk in a conversation and then as soon as I was doing, I would like fuck I have no shot. I would like fall asleep like this. Like I would talk in a conversation
and then as soon as I was doing,
I would like rest for a little while.
Like get dry.
It was very strange.
I was fucked up.
And how much energy I didn't have.
Yeah, your body switching your brains
using a whole different fuel source.
Yeah, which is like I like it.
Once you get out of that weird period
of like shitting your pants and stuff,
like once you stop shitting your pants.
I haven't broken through. Really? still in the full shit your pants face dude
I'm thinking dumps. I forgot even existed right now. Oh, yeah, I'm like pre-installed
Yeah, it's like just small. I'd see I don't like gonna get detailed
Yeah, something like a kid would stop and point at it
Yes, dude, I think it's dark today that I was like it was like deja vu
It's deer shit, dude. You literally dropped like a little pile
of a little bit of shit, sucks.
Rogan lied, dude.
He was fully, like he was like,
I'm on the carnivore diet, I was like,
how are your dumps?
It was like perfectly normal.
He was febbing.
It's only eight days though.
So I got past like the, like watery explosive diarrhea,
but I still have to wipe my ass like a baby's ass.
I have to wipe my whole ass after the top
on the carnivore diet.
You don't lay on your back though, huh?
I wish I could get a little baby better.
I wish I could.
I wipe my ass on this carnivore diet.
It's just like, man, it's disgusting.
It's no good.
It gets on me.
It gets on me.
I like it to not get on me. But it's gotten on me. I'm glad you said it. It's gotten good. It gets it gets on me. Yeah, it gets on me. You guys make it to not get
But it's gotten on me. I'm glad you said it. It's got on me
Hey, no, it gets on you
Shit is just so dangerous, you know, yeah crazy how dangerous it is. Yeah, it'll fuck you up dog shit
It's dog shit everywhere now dog shit's nothing, dude really yeah, I mean, yeah, while I grew up in an area, I think they had a lot of like, like that white dog shit or
something. I think before we moved, there are a lot of dogs that lived there for
like a decade or something and then all like, like kind of passed away or something.
I mean, you know, there was a lot of that white, the prehistoric stuff, you know.
That is crazy shit turns white. Our friend, when I was little,
when we were growing up, this one kid,
he was like a bad kid from a bad family,
and he's shit behind a bush outside.
So we'd all go like every day,
we'd be like, yo, let's go see this guy shit.
And then the one day it turned white,
and we're all just like, what the fuck?
Oh my God.
This guy's from the Bible, you know?
Yeah, dude.
Yeah, dude.
We had a guy, I've talked about this,
but we had a guy. I've talked about this before, but we had a guy who would have, like, he was kind of
this aggressive guy and he would defecate in his yard and he would meet me, bury it.
Oh, he, you're the undertaker.
Huh?
You were the undertaker.
Yeah, basically, I guess.
I mean, I was, yeah.
But yeah, to be friends with him with him dude and he died years later
He drove a basketball to an embankment in the middle of the night. Yeah, this is heartbreak
And I saw his sister not long ago at a craft store
Yeah, but I remember that like it was fucking
God I have to walk down there every day with my little pale and shovel. And-
But he only let people that he liked to do it.
No, he just, I think my brother had went to summer camp or something and so I had to,
like suddenly I was like the closest in age to this guy in our
in our street and he was just an aggressive dude and he just, he would fucking
shit and look at you and you knew you had to do something for him.
And it was Barrier.
What do you think was driving that?
If you had a like, now like years later,
what do you think was like, what's like the impulse
and what do you get out of someone's,
I mean, obviously the total fucking servitude,
I guess it's like a power trip.
It's a barrier in my dumps.
Yeah, I don't know at that time.
I don't know.
I just think it was some maybe camaraderie. I don't know.
Like communication skills were all formed probably. I don't know. I try to think about it,
but I haven't, but I don't have a ton of memories about it. I just remember feeling like I was,
I was one of this kid who think I was cool. You know, and I think he, and he just kept using that
against me. Yeah, when we were those that lived next to us that would make me and my friend
play torture with them. Yeah, they just beat the shit out of us. Yeah, when we're those that live next to us that would make me my friend play torture with them.
What you got they just beat the shit out of us. Yeah, they were like 70 and
Yeah, they come over. This is a fun game. They just fuck us up. Yeah, it's awesome. My friend quit. I was like the fuck you can't yeah, this is fun
Come on, pussy get towards me. Yeah, I thought it was fun. Yeah, we should do the parents found out
We're like this is fucked up about what was like what was it like any in burns like to do to fun. Yeah, we used to do the comments. I think the parents found out. We're like, this is fucked up. About the way we were.
What was it like, Indian Burns, like Titty Twist?
Yeah, yeah.
Damn, that's actually kind of,
it's kind of boss take like,
they did have a beta fish in their house
and they showed us when it was fighting fish.
Yeah, that was pretty cool.
Yeah, the fight takes forever though.
Yeah, they didn't fight once in front of us.
It's bullshit, but you know my friend bought them,
we're like whoever's wins buys dinner or whatever
and they took the fight was like five days
Eventually was like mine's dead. I don't know
Different colors. Oh, nice. Would you have a dead fish? You're saying no, we had beta fish me my friend bought beta fish My pets were put them together like let's watch these things fight. It's definitely something gay dude
Bait of hell gay dudes keep them separate. Let's watch our fish just bang into each other
Yeah, right it's the most alpha shit you could do fight animals with him on this
Animal fighting two kids watching their little fish bang in each other dude
Watching it was better. We were gonna do it. Yeah, then you guys man up other do it. You're watching me. If it's that or we were gonna do it. Yeah. Yeah, then you guys man up and do it.
Oh no.
He's fucking.
We did the whole time.
We took our clothes off and wrestled the whole time
or fish around the house.
And that's way straighter.
Yeah.
It's Greco.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Straight.
Did you ever heard animals when you were little?
No, we didn't have anything like that.
We would have people, I just actually went
to my old apartment the other day that I grew up in.
During the holiday stopped over there,
and the people, people always steal in our balcony,
so people would steal the wood,
where our balcony was, and...
They would just take the wood from the actual balcony.
Yeah, they would take the wood and go use it
to do some railing.
So you'd always have to be way fucking careful, like if you were up stairs and you wanted to go outside of the apartment,
you know, because like literally the wood would be missing, man, I'll send you guys a pit
of it. And yeah, and then you'd see it. Somebody would have built their kids something for Christmas
or, you know, built like some, you know, used it on their fence or some shit. And they're like,
that's our fucking balcony. Just a spindle rocking horse. Yeah, but it's their fence or some shit and you're like, that's our fucking balcony. You know, just a spindle rocking horse.
Yeah, but it's pretty crazy.
I went back, yeah, still same shit happening around the neighborhood.
But, um, yeah, I'm trying to think is something about animals.
Yeah, we didn't have any pets.
No one was certain animals.
When you're a kid, the mayor squeezed a frog, killed it.
Yeah, dude.
It wasn't a bag already. I just picked up some bag.
The dog still sounds like a crime on someone's pet frog and squeezed it and then left it.
Yeah, we used to catch catfish and put fireworks in their gills and just
Oh dang really? Yeah. I'm trying to think if I ever didn't eat. Now we didn't do nothing
real crazy like that dude. We didn't do any just turd. Oh, I see it got through a grenade one time, dude.
That's pretty tight.
A pretty senior citizen, Hema Grenade,
and a group of, not calves, what are old calves called?
Older calves.
Heffas.
Yeah, heffas, bro.
Yeah, that's a fucking thing.
It was unreal. People like, no way this dude's gonna do thing. That had to be pretty. Yeah. It was unreal.
And people like, no way this dude's gonna do it.
They need to took his shirt off.
We see, bro, when an old dude takes his shirt off,
he's gonna throw a grenade.
Like, people like, no way this guy's got a grenade
in his truck and somebody's like,
yell, and you queer.
And he, because he's just like, he got pissed, you know,
and then he had a grenade and he fucking
threw that fish, dude.
Damn, yeah, it was unprecedented, man.
I didn't like hurting animals.
We shot, we would go out and shoot animals with our baby guns.
Yeah.
I'd feel terrible every single time.
Yeah, I didn't.
I didn't get that till later.
Then when I was my motor now, yeah, I'm like, that's not nice, but there was nothing.
We had a bull living in our house.
We'd sit in these crab apple trees and just, we have a sling shots and take crab apples and just fucking
Sling this thing with crab apples and it just it got like on really it had to get removed
Oh, wow, no idea why there's bulls hole fucking in his purse. It's mindset got all fucked up
Headily it was it was like we had like an angry fucked up bull because it was getting stung by crab apples
They're like 24 hours, but they just didn't stop.
Oh, wow.
It's messed up.
Yeah, it's just sad to think sometimes of all the stuff
that happens.
Yeah.
A lot of bad stuff going on.
Yeah, I think I get stuck with those thoughts a lot, I think.
What's the worst thing you think is happening right now?
You had to pick one.
Mm.
I mean, like the rest are just like whatever,
but like the one worst thing.
Yeah.
Probably, I don't know, the Golden Globes were on.
It's like,
I didn't know that.
Do you watch any of it?
I just saw, I watched maybe like 30 minutes.
I didn't watch it.
I just wanted to go back and see like,
because a lot of people were ripping on,
they're not ripping on Joe Copa,
but they got Joe Koi to do the,
yeah, I saw that opening, right?
And so, yeah, people were just,
I don't know if they were a ripin' on,
I just seemed like, the whole thing seemed kinda disorganized.
Yeah, it's what I thought.
They need your base.
Those are the best, he said no.
You won one for his album and he didn't show up.
Damn, he has peace.
But he was up against people I didn't know they had comedy
Really yeah
You're you weren't up no Netflix doesn't put out the only ones they offer up because I guess studios just decide and Netflix only puts out the ones they
They they licensed my special.
They didn't put any of the license specials up for nomination.
They just put out.
It's like, you're not worth of, I have no idea.
But it just goes to, it's like, that's what blew my mind.
I was like, what?
Yeah.
This isn't like, so wait, so you're only up if you like
work for the studios or if you work for a like,
a cut, it's just like, I don't know, it's just like, what your shit's not even
read, just made me, I think, I don't know if it made me mad or whatever, but it just was like,
what are, what are we, what are we even doing? Like, it just seemed like fictional then.
Like, oh, we've all just been living in a fictional world where this,
where it seemed like maybe the awards meant anything or something. I don't know, man. But yeah, I think you should have won.
Oh, thanks, dude. I appreciate it. I don't. Yeah. Get a recap. I should demand a recap.
Demand a recap. I should stop the steal. You should. That's bullshit, though. It is
kind of. But you watch it and you're like, what even is fucking looks,
the whole thing, I mean, it looks just fake.
Or nobody really cares anymore that much.
Oh, yeah, I think nobody cares anymore.
Yeah.
I think it seemed crazy.
I just part of me was like, I didn't get to ask you,
okay, I guess they paid him a good amount.
I don't know, it almost seems like they set the comedian up
to be the scapegoat though,
because it's like, they know it's a trash show.
They know
nobody cares. I feel like anyway. Yeah. I mean, you can't nobody could name probably even
13 good movies from this year. No. Or even seven or eight. You know, even probably, I
bet they could name seven or eight. Oppenheimer and Barbie. That's it. I can't think of
a single other movie come out. Marcel will say it with shoes on.
What?
Marcel, the shell with shoes on, that was pretty good.
Was it good?
Yeah, what is that?
I haven't seen it.
What is that about?
It's about a snail with shoes on.
Yeah.
He hasn't found his family.
Marcel needs one to be able to watch it, but I have a job.
But I'm trying to get to it though.
I got to check it out.
But yeah, but anyway, I think yeah, I just
seem maybe fictional.
I don't know.
Yeah, this year just seem like, but I, I, I, I, I, it seemed like
you're setting the host to almost hire the host just so
they'll have somebody to be like, because how could you even
do that well?
I wonder like how would you even
do?
Yeah, called on pedophiles.
Yeah, yeah, it's just made fun of everybody. Yeah, Gaffing and
Golden pedophiles. Did he? Did he really? Yeah, you see that? No,
No,
It is
He's fucking beast bro.
He's back. He's a fucking on the bacon. I love
Gaffing dude. He had fucking seven hot pockets and fucking went out there.
When was this so his soft white dick to those people?
How do they not have cat Williams hosted going go as bullshit? Let him go to five hour monologue to start the show
That would be his raining truth down. Oh, well gaffer can he goes. I can't believe him here. He's like I'm from Indiana
You know
Not a pedophile.
Did you say that?
Dude.
That's gonna be it.
The line's drawn now between people who are just be like,
yeah, I'm not a pedophile.
First people who are like, hey, you know, don't say that.
Yeah, it makes me uncomfortable.
Either not a pedophile, you're a pedophile now.
Just wow.
That sucks.
Well, I just doesn't have any fucking balls.
That's the saddest thing about it. It's like, you don't have any fucking balls. You's the saddest thing about it. Yeah, it's like you don't have any fucking balls
You're not making anything with any balls on it
You know, I wish they would like they don't that's what it seemed like to me. Also, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about
No, you're right. We don't need it. It's totally right. Okay. I heard I heard there was a lot of making sure we're all still dumb
Okay, yeah, I've gotten so dumb
Oh, man, it's crazy
He's watching Jeopardy. I'm not even close dude. I used to have it. Did you or at least the confidence to think I had it?
You know like if they'd answer a question I'd be like fuck I was right there
Now I just stare at the screen true. Yeah,, my own lot of jeopardy watching is doing though.
That's an absolute time suck.
Yeah, I got a cousin that's pretty fat, I guess.
And his uncle would, my uncle would always be like,
don't get it wrong or your fat.
That's a good saying.
Well, I got it wrong.
I'm so sad, I remember.
That kind of shit.
Don't get it wrong or your fat is very funny.
That kind of shit makes me sad, but that kid is pretty smart.
He got it helps.
I don't know if I bet it's interesting.
Just crushing quizzes.
Which is a game plan, at least you have a game plan with your child.
True, yeah.
But you have to add cat.
We could even imagine.
First of all, they don't even have, they only have like three black people at the Golden Gloves.
True. First of all, they only have like three black people at the Golden Globe. It was there, right?
And then last year they hired him.
Who's the guy, the comedian that did it last year?
Gerard.
Gerard, yeah.
And I don't even remember,
I don't, he just kind of told a story
about being black kind of.
And then.
Yeah, he made everyone uncomfortable.
Yeah, I just went up there and was like,
there's no black people here. Yeah
Right, we might be pedophiles, but we're not racist
So yeah, I kind of felt like they just said maybe set like if you're the host
You know, I think you're gonna be set up to be the fall guy. That's what I think. Yeah. I'm trying to figure out what I'm thinking about.
No, he got in.
Did he get in trouble for, I don't know if he got in trouble for necessarily, but he said
something that pissed off Taylor Swift.
That was, that seemed to be kind of a thing.
Carmichael?
No, no, no, not Carmichael.
Fucking a coy.
Apparently, there's a big thing.
Apparently he went for her.
I made it.
Yeah, he had a, but I've just, it seemed like a joke that a writer had written that wasn't.
But I didn't hear the joke. What was the joke? It was was just like you'll see less shots of her on the golden globes
Then you will on at a chiefs game
Right, so just I thought it was just a what it just it's nothing. Oh, so there's a total median mentioned
They're trying to be like a pistol. She was so pissed. I believe what he said. They're stirring up the Swifties
They are, but it's almost like that's the whole thing now. It's just like, let's just make this moment. Like we're just going to make this moment. We're going to hire
a comedian. They're going to be the fall guy because there's really no way to win.
True. Unless you just call everybody pedophiles.
See what people want right now. It's really what people want. People want these pedophiles.
List. The list just came out. Yeah. Copperfield bro.
David Copperfield. I was waiting for like prominent politicians like David copperfield's a bed of pop a field
Yeah, they also there's like fictional kids like Andy do
I feel kind of bad for those those actors and the pedophiles. Yeah. This is the one list that Everga leaked.
Too many other, these types of rings are going on.
The Ditty parties are next, dude.
Ditty parties are going.
People keep talking about Ditty parties.
Oh, dude.
Fucking Cat Williams, the dark, dark baby.
You're gonna see it.
Cat is free, cat, baby.
That's good, baby.
I mean, if he didn't expose Black Hollywood,
I was going to next. Y'all ain only spaying or neutering anybody in this motherfuckin son. Free cat baby.
That's wrong. I'm with it dude. I'll vote cat president right now, bro.
Oh, we need a huge. We could use it. We need a real fucking brother in there, bro.
Sure. Yeah, true. Terrible sister.
Yeah, true.
Don't leave that out, but Kat.
Kat, the interview was, it was fun to watch,
but then he would just make these claims that were just like.
Sub 4, 3, 40.
Sub 4, 3.
Kat got it.
3000 books a year.
3000 books a year.
It's 100 a week.
It's crazy.
That's like medical, he must've included like medical pamphlets,
dude.
No way.
3000 books a year. That's how much he said he could read
He said that's how much he said to me just seven to 12 or something. He read 3000 books a year
So what you're saying is they paid you they offer you 15 million dollars to go to Jacksonville state
What call
I'm like kid in that video
I think it was. I'm like getting that video.
Yeah, I'm so good.
Yeah, I'm from the current track.
And you're off for me.
So I got a bunch of scholarships.
I think it was in the Jacksonville.
And the guys like, woo.
They offer you 15 million dollars.
Yeah, I said no.
Yeah, what?
What does this mean?
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah, that line was nice.
The software 340 was, I think that was the one thing,
Shasha, it could fucking be like, I know you didn't do that.
Yeah, yeah.
You're not fashion and Tyree Kill.
That's the craziest claim.
Well, let's check in with this dark oyster over here.
Lamar, what do you think about what Kat said?
What is the black community thing?
I think it's kind of like, they kind of agree.
Yeah, I think we're in like,
Gary and it's with Kat.
You're in agreement with Kat.
I think a lot, except for the 340,
but like the, you know, the 440.
Yeah.
We was talking a lot of junk and then, yeah.
I think his junk is being responded to nicely.
You know, well, it's got a good response out of that.
Gary Owen.
Gary Owen's over. You got real one, Craig now. So he was the only he got kind of got big up
doing the fucking blue collar comedy tour. Do they did it? Blue collar.
That whole time. They did. Yeah. Cat was like those are the guys I liked. Let's
enemy in my enemy though, too. Yeah, true. They were enemies of like the
C Harvey squad. Kings and blue scholar were serious enemies. Yeah, so
Yeah, that was wild dude. I mean
Cuz there's always like a cut. I feel like do you see a lot of black folks go wrong? You don't see a lot of black man go in like that, huh?
No, not that hard. Yeah, so in comedy there's you don't really comics like
They don't really go in on other comics really, because everybody knows I think that it's an interesting,
we're all weird people.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Does that make any sense or no?
Well, the first part does, you really don't see.
But also, I feel like black comics, black people in general
have a lot more respect for other people's business too.
Yeah.
So you can't be putting out people's business like someone's money.
Yeah, unless you have receipts too.
So he did have receipts, but that what he was all in their business, which is frowned upon.
Can't even know.
Sure.
It's great.
It was.
It's definitely interesting to hear.
Um, I love Catlands.
Dude, I saw Cat Williams, right?
Drive by the comedy store one time on a bike,
on a bicycle, and it was one of those ones
with the lights or in the wheel,
and the wheels.
That's tight.
And the wheels.
That's tight.
A hundred percent, dude.
Like 30 people at the same time on the porch,
like, is that fucking cat Williams?
And he was standing up, he's like, I guess,
like some people can stand up on,
you know when you're like a kid or whatever,
you stand up on a bike and hold on the,
you know, and your body works out that way, right?
So he can still do it, right?
And so he was just looking over at everybody, dude.
Just cruising right down Sunset.
Did he ever do the storage?
What do you like?
I never saw him in there.
I think Sunset on, I don't know.
I don't know, maybe I said seen him over there, but.
Yeah, dude.
I got a statue at a target one time there,
advertised that it as a cat Williams.
And it was like a black nutcracker from Christmas.
Damn.
And yeah, I got it.
And I put it on my story and Kat shared it.
Really?
Yeah, and it was like a highlight of my whole year, yeah.
That's awesome.
Cause there's really not anybody kind of,
I feel like Kat's just, he seemed really unique, I think.
Yeah, I mean, he made a big comeback this year.
I mean, I guess he was doing well, I don't know.
I haven't been following his stuff.
I know he was funny.
Everyone thought he was funny.
I don't know many anti-cat Williams people
who are like, he's not funny.
He's funny.
Yeah.
Yeah, and now he's the funniest,
everyone's going to go on Che-Shane to Spaz,
which is the best thing in the world.
I was thinking, dude, you could do club-shane chain.
Club-shane chain? Club-shane chain, yeah. I was thinking, dude, you can do club chain chain. Club chain chain?
Club chain chain, yeah.
I have a couple drinks to sit down.
Yeah.
And you gotta put some lipstick on too.
Yeah.
Why?
You're the proprietor.
You gotta go on the proprietor.
Fuck, why not?
No, every white man in Hollywood has to put on lipstick
and wear a dress.
True, dude.
I'm not sure that shit.
Dude, you said he's gonna be a car driver.
And the white man has to put on lipstick. I'm not doing it. Who do you have in your contract has to wear a dresser for in the movie with you?
Crazy like is that a real like I wonder
Who does Tommy Pope has to wear a dress? Yeah, I
Have in my contract. You know, there's a lot of trans male
Comedians really is there these be more cross dress and didn't
there? Yeah. Feel like maybe. Yeah. Dude, they're used to be more cross dress and nobody's
fucking thinking about that. True. That's because they used to be like, there's no way I would
ever actually do that. Well, they also, they legalized it. Yeah. Now, they're like,
dress like them. That guy definitely wants to wear a dress. Yeah. It's not funny.
It used to be funny. If I was wearing a dress right now, people would be like, damn, that guy definitely wants to wear a dress. Yeah, it's funny. It's not funny now, it's funny.
If I was wearing a dress right now, people would be like,
that's fun.
Hey, I said, peak a comedy now.
I was wearing a dress right now.
People would be upset.
I guess you wanted to go in.
I don't think I would like having a dress on.
I wouldn't like, like, my,
generals just be in open, like a little curtain.
Yeah, cross your legs, huh?
Get across your legs, though.
Like a lady.
Yeah, and I don't want to do all of that. That's why ladies cross your legs so we can't see
their dicks really.
Bro, that's going to be our national anthem in this country. It's six more years.
Dude, that's one thing we needed. We got to bring back the national anthem, bro.
True. Yeah. Because it was one point is long though.
I was just when you got any time I go to a sporting event, you got to stand there the whole fucking time.
Unless there's a flyover or something cool.
True. We need some airplanes.
It does kind of suck. Like I went to the Sixers game like two weeks ago,
standing for the national anthem does well. I get it.
I did sit for the Canadian. I said, I'm not saying for that.
Yeah.
Bizzle's Canadian. My bad, Bizzle. No, I'm not gonna stand for another country. Even over there they call it the Let's Go Get a Snack Song.
So I don't think even they respected that. No other countries get pumped on their anthem.
It's like Austin Middle Eastern country. Really? Yes South American countries get pumped on
through true. Once while you see them hit Nazi salutes. Yeah, other countries still salute like weird. They're they yeah
They'll hit it remember when I was a statement who's the Cuban fighter in the UFC?
No, no cut it. Yo, I'll hit a fucking like goo step fucking
No, no, cute it. Yo, I'll hit a fucking like, goo step fucking salute after he knocked the guy out.
He's a Cuban.
Was he just a Cuban?
Why'd you do it?
Because he's just pumped the guy out and then he's a nice Cuban march.
Oh.
He was just hard goo stepping.
What?
That's what he did.
Why'd he do it?
That's Cuban.
That's Cuban.
That's Cuban loss of the up.
True, yeah, we shouldn't just say, you know, we shouldn't just be like,
I think there's a video of like, I ran what time stamp that.
Why I didn't do it.
Yeah, you kept your hand.
You kept your hand.
Yeah, now, just a Roman salute.
Yeah.
It's just a Roman salute.
My one year old we marched, I'll like we're telling we're marching.
She goo steps and it's the first step.
It's funny, dude.
It's so funny.
I'm stepping down the sidelines.
Neon, neon, goo step. Every time he scored a touch. Did's funny dude. It's so funny. I'm stepping down the sidelines. Neon, Neon, good step.
Every time he scored a touchdown.
Did he really?
He was fucking.
It is a celebration.
It is.
Yeah, and they ruined a lot of good.
They ruined an ancient Hindu symbol for peace.
That was bullshit.
I think there's a good video of the German national soccer
team that playing in Iran.
And Iranians are tossing it up.
Iranians love it raining the whole stadium.
Yeah.
And all the German players are like, well, they're the Aryans.
Yeah.
They, I rain claims to be the real air.
Iran claims to be the true Aryans.
And so what they're saying, they're the, they're the true.
What are you talking about?
Like what are you saying when you say something?
Like we never said something.
So, so when the, the Aryan race, a lot of Hitler's propaganda had to do with like, we are the true
Aryans.
Oh, okay.
And they claims that I think I don't know when this was
in the late 1800s, maybe.
I think the caucus mountains like I ran.
They should do Aryan off then.
And they figured out that the Indo Aryan,
like the languages were all similar
and these weird parts of like the English speaking countries
in the Middle Eastern.
So they had this thing that was like,
they had a theory that the Aryans migrated
from Hitler thought they came from the West.
What do you mean, flew in?
No, walks. now walks horses pretty much
I think they were the first chariots here guys were the chariots going
So they migrated a long time ago and conquered the Indus Valley
But then people yeah the people in the Middle East like no, no, that was we were already here and you guys came and we're like what's up
We taught you all the Arian ways so having click they're having like a plasher for who was truly arian
Seems like a waste of time. It's a huge waste of time. A lot of people die because of it. Yeah. It's like you're trying to put your hand on the top of the
bat like you keep going. Yeah. Yeah. And it's almost unprovable. Because when Jake
Jillinholl, remember Jake Jillinholl was in that movie Egypt or what the
fun was. Yeah. They thought people when I ran were gonna be pissed because they're
like people when I ran don't look like that and all the Iranians will yeah, we do we look just like
Exactly what we look like look just like Jay Jonah. It was the 80 opposite thing though. He shut the fuck up
We look like that. Yeah, so yeah, I think
No, no, I thought I did it in the race. It's a niche top. It is a weird. It's a niche top.
It is a weird.
It's a weird thing.
They should have an area and often they should have whatever, whoever is the champion.
The area in Olympics, just golf.
Uh, yeah, looking for stalling.
Looking for style.
See you can find it.
This is scavenger.
I'm telling people to quiet down.
True.
Like a plate heated exchange and a grocery store.
Plate heated exchange.
Plate heated exchange would be nice.
That's fucking intense.
Both keep their cool season, keep their cool longest.
Well, no, you go first if you're in such a hurry.
I'm actually not in a rush.
You.
By all means.
Yeah, we definitely got to refine the Olympics
it feels like.
Yeah, for sure. Flag football is gonna be fun. That's coming out in the Olympics. It feels like for sure flag football is gonna be fun
That's coming out in the Olympics. I think so that's tight. I don't know is it this here in Paris in
Perry we're gonna be fucking hit them with
Tyree kill and cat Williams
Cali is gonna blow by the end to play. I think they're gonna play flag football or seven on seven flag football
Wow in America we're gonna yeah, who we said they should do gay fist fighting as well
They fist fighting will be tight
That would be awesome. Yeah, they had a group. They satore the country that would come to
Baton Rouge back in the day and you'd pay and it was gay men fighting and fist fighting
What and you pay yep five bucks have it air get you a beer and get you some fights Jay fights
People would go. Yeah, it was a new was their company. They did it. It was it true
You were it wasn't like you know, it was supporting gay activism, you know, and
Yeah, I've say yeah, there was a lot of
A lot of what happened to that. Why did it stop? It seems like a fucking smashing success.
I agree, I don't know why.
That's crazy.
Maybe they all could have ran out of fight, you know,
like I think when you're traveling like that
and you have to fight and then, yeah.
And then you, probably a lot of them in your traveling
with also want to date, you were like,
I was about to say, yeah, they're probably exhausting.
Yeah, burning the candle about fans really. It just feel like it just feels a lot of them in your traveling with also want to date you were about to say. Yeah, they're probably exhausting. Yeah, burning the candle about fans really.
It just feels like it just feels a lot that you're having like chem sex afterwards.
Or just that you're, you know, haven't even argue with somebody in a van afterwards.
True. Oh, those rides that must have been such bitches the whole drive.
It's hot in here. I said it's hot. And some guys like, that's me. Yeah,
pull over. Get out of the car.
Was there a belt?
Was there like a belt or was just like backyard brawl?
Sasha.
True.
I can't remember if there was a belt, but there was um, and they called it F-A-G fist fights.
Was it at least an acronym or was it like F-A-G?
I'm not sure. I don't remember.
I was drinking for sure. We would usually use fake ID to get in there. But I remember it
as clear as day. I don't know why they don't have it anymore. It might just be the slap league now. I might just be the day
Yeah, but it was definitely pretty cool. It's fucking awesome a lot of cool shit's gone by the wayside. I guess
You know, yeah, wrestling WF
It's gone by the way side so over now. Well, it used to be wild We're just laughing about all the storylines
Well, it used to be wild. We were just laughing about all the storylines.
Yeah, people think, yeah.
Some guy, one of the storylines is so funny,
is Big Show's dad died.
And then whoever his enemy was at the time
showed up to the funeral, put chains around the coffin
and drove off of it.
And Big Show was like, no, not my father.
He chased after it.
It's crazy storyline.
It was a big boss man.
It was a big boss man. Big boss man big boss made a change around his dad's coffee.
Why do you do that? And then Big Show tried to jump on the coffin
and right and while the truck was driving away with it, he fell off.
It was yeah, they did awesome. It was crazy, dude.
He'd be like, yeah, he'd have been in that stick and he'd walk in.
I don't know. He was evil though.
He was evil. He even had like a head of match.
Uh, it was like a dog match without snow,
where you had a bunch of nice dogs around the ring,
but they're supposed to be ferocious.
Yeah, dogs are in there.
Yeah.
Yeah, he would also, sometimes you'd be like the park
and the tenant or something,
you'd be like, make sure your vehicle's registered, you know?
Oh, you would say shit like that and is like,
you know, I put a boot on your wife's pussy, you know?
You'd be like, what? You're six years old, you know, like I put a boot on your wife's pussy, you know, stuff like that. And you're like, what?
You're six years old. You're like, damn.
The big boss man was a cop.
He's just, he stole people's dead dad.
He never put someone's dead. That a funeralist.
That's the thing I've ever seen.
It's like medieval.
That's like a swag thing on the line.
People are so mad at cops right now.
It's a big boss man.
They've been doing it the whole time.
Yeah.
They shut up to all the murals.
They've got to be so damn.
You steal somebody dead.
Damn.
Especially the big show.
He's like 10 feet tall crying.
And he's like, oh, oh, he steal his fucking dead.
No, dead.
Jump on the casket. Jump on the casket falls off and rolls
What are we we were talking about other wrestling and then somebody plays that song jump boney jump boney in the background
That's a worse song everyone's everything kind of especially. Yeah, yeah, we're talking about Gene Snitsky with with James
Oh, that's a storyline
I saw him in a Phillies game. He was wearing a snitsky,
customized Philly's game. I didn't do it.
And I said it wasn't my fault though, but he turned around.
Wow. So he, uh, he put it, Kane's baby.
Yeah. First.
Oh, not really, because now I remember.
So Kane got, who was it, Lita?
Lita, yeah. All right. Kane got Lita, he raped Lita.
What? Yeah. Got her pregnant.
So then they were like, you have to marry Kane.
Those are the rules.
If you can pregnant for a right, you have to marry the right.
So they forced her to marry Kane.
And where was it?
Michigan State.
That's W.W.F.
W.F.
Sorry.
This was the fucking gymnastics coach.
Oh, I think that's serious.
This is Larry Nasda, Kane, the big red team.
Just Fox, can I Fox catcher, huh?
No, not Fox.
This is Kane.
But then it's the wrestler.
Okay, Kane, the wrestler.
Okay, not a fan.
Who may have you explained?
I'm fucking.
No, I'm doing a billing.
You're forgetting, mailing it.
What happened?
That's a good, so Kane married leader because he raped her.
Got her pregnant.
Because he raped her and got her pregnant.
But he's from Reesmith College.
This is what WWE used to be, dude.
Bro, shit is cat bro.
What the fuck?
We were like fifth grade like, yeah.
I don't remember any of this.
And then Snitsy came out with the baby.
It was a fake toy baby.
Their pretending was the product of Kane's rape.
And then he pointed it into the crowd.
Into the crowd?
Yeah.
Someone still has that.
Someone still has that baby.
Somebody has that in a glass box in their house.
Like, oh, here I got it.
I remember watching.
I thought it was a real baby.
I was like, no.
Yeah.
Just when you think, hey, nobody's thinking it was a real baby. I was like no
Yeah, you think hey nobody's thinking that's a real way
Now every kid in there every kid in that route dude
Wrestling would get you fired like Monday night raw would get you juiced up
Yeah, and then be like I get the bed. Oh, I remember I was impossible to go find your little brother in his tombstone Especially with the credit the credits cut when they cut off like a rumble in the ring
Yeah, you know, I mean at the end of the match Stone Cold is just fucking everybody up and then it goes dark
Yeah, because yeah, like the time it got over I have to go to bed. Yeah, I even think about that
Yeah, you'd be so jazzed up. You like I can't possibly go to sleep
Dude, I remember I went to when the rock came back. I went to one professional wrestling thing
It was when the rock came back. I went to one professional wrestling thing. It was when the rock came back.
Must've been nuts.
It was like, was it one night?
I don't remember when it was.
The mayor would get it.
What did the rock return?
When? 20.
2014?
2012.
2012.
And I remember looking over and there was a Mexican father
and son.
It was a man probably 38 and a kid probably nine, right?
Or six.
Perfect.
And there were the same height.
And they were both bowling-crime dude.
That the rocking, like bowling fucking-crime.
Yeah.
Rolling hands, you know?
Rolling hands, coming.
Yeah.
And it was just, I just realized like, wow, this is just still such a powerful thing, you know, because it was that powerful for me when I was a's cruel man. Yeah. And it was just, I just realized like, wow,
this is just still such a powerful thing, you know,
because it was that powerful for me when I was a kid, man.
Yeah.
It would be nice if kids, the sun, get you some pumped out,
you get to get back into wrestling.
Yeah, we all started to be fond of you.
We would make a chart of all of the wrestling people
that they had, and they all had to fight each other on the chart
and you'd like see who won, and it would take months to find who the champion was and it was just you beating up something
in your room or different things in your room.
Yeah, my nephew got my wrestling figures.
Yeah, I had a wrestling body pill.
I brought him out.
I was so jealous.
I had a ring.
I had all the figures.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I had a little break him out when I was back home.
Big us.
We come. I wanted to get in out when I was back home Big us
I want to get in there. There are a couple figures. I got a D. Lo and for you did so there are some figures well
Don't don't reverse this
Don't don't reverse this
Yeah, what else is going on? Yeah, what's in the news, man? What are you thinking about? Well that I mean that was just the craziest thing was just I
Guess the yeah, that you didn't that you weren't nominated for the comedy thing. Oh, that's bullshit I thought that was fucking pretty lame. I didn't what was who was it again? It was who was the nominated on it
Okay
Amy Schumer I think that's it. Yeah, the Titans of integer. Yeah. Oh Trevor Noah Trevor. No, perfect
Yeah, that's it. That's probably yeah, what are you talking about?
I don't know. Yeah, I'm fine. It's all, yeah, that's the, they're the best of that.
Who needs a golden glove, dude, we got the Patreon?
Joe.
Oh, yeah, you got that beautiful.
That's a Patreon award.
Yes.
Is it really?
No way, can you tell me that's a Patreon?
No, one Patreon award they gave us that.
You're lying.
Yeah.
No way, can I see it?
You can have it.
You can have it.
Smash it.
Wow.
Don't smash it.
It came broken. It came broken, but that's a real thing. Wow. Don't smash it. It came broken.
It came broken, but that's a real thing.
Yeah.
Not congrats, man.
It's the game is the gay man's nut sack award.
Oh my God.
Huh?
That's how it's a face, but this side, actually, if you hold it up, that is just a dog.
A gay ball sack.
Oh, yeah.
It looks like one of those balls on that special.
So like my 70 pound nut or whatever.
Yeah, yeah.
Here comes me with my nut.
And some guy they'll put like a little curtain in front of him and be like, da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da That's awesome man. So how do you even get nominated? They just knew you guys were doing it. We just had, I think, just the highest Patreon.
I don't know who that is.
So you guys are rich.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, dang.
That's good.
Fine.
This is what it gets.
Try to hide it.
Yeah, dude, for real, they called us.
Yeah.
True.
I might start stuffing with that thing.
That's probably what's for a death in a race.
It's a huge, like that.
You have like a real medical problem.
Oh, the road to the Patreon gay tumor run through
fucking Austin bitches.
You want to take this, come take it, dude.
Come and take it.
You come take it out of my butt.
You're gonna shove it up or ask, dude.
What's that?
You're gonna look at cool party and Ditty's gonna shove it up or ask it.
Ditty better not get up.
Find out we have
Yeah
Why did you get attacked all of a sudden?
Did he's plugging all these dudes?
I don't know.
I hope not.
I can look.
Did he?
That's what everybody's like calling me.
Did he?
Did he?
We got in trouble.
The media just fucking, you know, they fling their eye on people and all of a sudden it was like
Dwayne, they had like, I think Dwayne weighed, Dwayne Howers in trouble and then they just fucking spot what was Dwayne in trouble
Or it was Dwight just he was just sending free text he was sending freaky text. Yeah, he didn't do it
Well, I think Dwight was told no there was a dude who was like he's fine
Yeah, but a guy claimed he went over there and then was like now I'm not with this was another dude was there and then Dwight was like
They claimed white was like it's time
What do you mean like it's time like it he was like like changing, like, we're telling you and I, we're having like a gay affair
and like, we're texting each other.
Slow it down, let's have a chat.
So you and I, so like, it was like, you know, we were having a gay affair and I'm like,
I'll come through, slide through, come get this.
And where are we?
My house.
Okay.
So you're coming through and all of a sudden, all of a sudden, the shains there, just
standing there, buck ass naked, and you're like, yo, I didn't, that's, this is what happens.
What the fuck, dude?
Yeah, dude, no.
Wait, what do you mean?
I don't want to play for the Lakers anymore.
What?
What if I'm there naked?
You would say you would be dead?
No, I want to go back to Houston.
That would, I think that was the claim.
I skinned the news, but I think that's what they're claiming.
He did, he did.
Oh, that'd be so scary. This is not, the guy I went apparently, yeah, I mean, Dwight claim. I skinned the news, but I think that's what they're claiming. He did it wrong. It'd be so scary.
The guy would apparently do.
I mean, Dwight Harrod's fucking huge.
What's how it's huge, dude?
That would be so scary.
You think at that point, tossing it another dude
would not be that big of a game.
It wouldn't be a joke.
And you think you could get tall enough away from me and gay, you know?
You could get far enough from your dick
where you don't even think about them.
Or just like, you know, I just wonder if at certain altitudes or whatever there is as much
Gayness or whatever. Yeah, maybe it's gayer. Maybe it's gay. No, it's shacking. I mean true those guys are straight as hell true
True, true, true so yeah, Napoleon the point was little
Actually, the point was sweet or straight as fucked it was he yeah, he was very maybe just also average height guys Maybe all the gays and like five nine to like five eleven. I guarantee you there is a
Predomination of gays at a certain height. I believe it
Yeah
Can you look that up? Yeah, I don't have anybody that works here, huh?
Jay hi, no, we got
I
Fire up the quantum computers to crush the numbers. Oh, you got it was a fucking canister of the Northwest medicine and a cell phone to look stuff up
Crack squad these guys are good ask me anything ask me anything right now
Hey, hey, what's the?
Limerida doesn't need a computer. He knows true You hear that rock question. He got it right away when did the rock come back?
2012 he is a computer that is an autistic man
Real we do not need computers. Oh, yeah, I feel you did here's the mind
We'll start we'll start doing like now they do horse powers. They might start doing like all just
His powers on computer. Oh, that'd be great movie huh?
autism powers Autism powers. Autism powers. Autism powers. You make me hony.
Do I make you uncomfortable, baby? Autism powers. Just an American guy dressed like Austin powers and a comic Yeah, yeah, it's just one of our politicians
Dude how crazy at our pot that the politics now there's a blatantly
No one cares. There's nothing we can do about it.
Even if we vote, it doesn't mean
it's nothing we can do about it.
Not at all.
We can do about it.
We're all trapped in this fucking
just this money funneling
or fucking fight wars.
It's literally like a game of like risk
or one of those.
It's like a computer game someone's playing.
And then there's so close to beating it though.
There's so close to beating the game. They're so close to beating the game
We just need to drink the swamps dude. They need like 60 trillion more dollars from us dude
And then we're gonna win once we save you cringe. We're back true
I just don't understand the long term of it because if you if everybody dies from drug overdose and is sad
Then what do you even like you're not gonna be anybody to work in the workforce?
They don't make you any money like that's right. It's gonna understand it. You know like how do you get the high school and whatever they're doing, you know?
I don't know what the fuck they're doing
They're picking they're picking out. Yeah, I got it's probably then again
They can they have like the technology now to really clamp down
So it's like someone could for real rule if someone gets to rule the world now, they'll probably rule it for just
Yeah, but they don't even need to worry
about like overpopulation.
They live, they don't live around people.
True. You don't need to, you know.
I think it's not even about the closest.
I think it's dude, there's just like seven dudes
in like a fucking weird exclusive place
and they're just like businesses booming this year.
We did 70 Gillian, they're like,
I did 40 Gillian fucking. They just start jerking off on a bit coiner.
What else?
Yeah.
I don't think there's any material concern really.
It's just more of like, fuck him.
God, I bet it does.
And it's certain levels, it gets pretty weird.
Cause I even I've just met a couple of rich folks
and they get pretty weird, man.
Yeah.
They get a little bit like like it definitely seems kind of scary
dude imagine seven generations of that though oh dude it's fucking it's like saltburn
yeah I didn't see that I heard it was good I thought I'm like literal saltburn I was
like yeah I would suck you know saltburn it's about kind of like a have you seen it
I didn't like it but I I'm married to Saltburn.
It's a matter of weirdo that's just fucking people.
The guy's naked in and I heard shows.
I'm not watching that.
It's about, um, I'll say this.
I'm not naked guys, everything.
I'm myself.
I'm not.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Fuck that lady.
Jack off to porn.
Right.
I'm not actually opposed to seeing. I thought I was a new genre of like dudes flipping out in public. I was like, I do, I do watch that too.
Because there was a guy in the aquarium who just showed his dick or the bass pro story. That's pretty tough.
Yeah. So we get naked and get in the tank.
The guy got naked and got in the tank. Yeah, that's nice.
Yeah. Showed his penis. Yeah.
You do have a small penis during a schizophrenic like a break like that.
Before you finish that sentence, I've seen a couple of times.
You didn't finish your sentence, yes, my mind was like, why you do a small penis?
I would never, you have a nice penis.
Yeah, doing a schizophrenic break, you would travel up.
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But I'll tell you what, man.
I had a good time betting yesterday
I told my father to place these bets because down here to Texas way. Yeah, you can't yeah
But I said dad
Giants wanting line the Eagles are fucking dog shit
The old man stuck with it then he said I'm taking the dolphins over the bills. I said podra
Say you're gonna have to take going to have to take the bills.
The bills are going to win this game and they certainly did.
Nice. Although Gabriel Davis got hurt.
So our thoughts on this was to this was to win the division.
So the bills, I think, are two seed now on the IFC.
It could be, it could be way out of line, way out of line.
The bills are circus now.
The bills are square.
The birds are fucking, they look like crap.
That's fucking bullshit.
If I was a betting man, I would consider the Buccaneers.
Truly true.
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God damn.
Now that's some fine print.
Oh, also please, please San Diego this week.
It's sold out, but we added a show on Thursday.
So please go to that helium comedy club, St. Louis, please come to that as well.
That's January 18th of the 20th.
Zany's Nashville Milwaukee improv Pittsburgh improv just
please come guys. Macon sir comm slash dates please. Ooh, this is out tomorrow, huh?
Yeah, I think I think these things get released tomorrow. I'll be at the
Kia forum. Yo, in LA. So keep an eye on that. I'll be at the forum in fucking May.
Damn. May 8th. I'll be performing live at the Kia forum and
lost in the city of angels. It's awesome.
Need to sell that one because that's a lot of fucking seats.
Yes. That's a big. You ever want to see a guy bomb in front of a fucking 17,000 people?
It will be funny.
Yes, Sean, please. If you can, can you please come to the Sunshine Comedy Festival
this weekend?
Same with the camera.
You always do.
This is what drives ticket sales.
It's in the algorithm.
This weekend is the Sunshine Comedy Festival in Tampa
and St. Pete.
Me and Lemizy will be there and the
important one the first time I'm headlining is January 24th at Cap City Comedy
Club in Austin if you can come to January 24th it's Wednesday January 24th. Oh
that's gonna be exciting hopefully I can make that. That'd be nice. I bet you
I'm there. That'd be awesome. I bet you mean matter there I bet you we perform tonight. Can we can I do a guest spot?
I'll be elated if you can all right. I'll do a guest spot January 24th at cap city. Yes. That's not a promise
It could be time to pleasure myself and take a nap instead
Thank you very much. Thank you
Salt, but it was sober and about like wealthy families.
So burn is about a really, it's about a young man
who's having a tough time and his bicycle breaks down
and he meets another guy.
And the guy, he offers him to come and live and work with this family
and they are very wealthy and it's about like they have this like kind of Valentine's party and
People start just being fucking real just kind of gay and stuff and yeah, and then you don't know what's going on and then
Yeah, people are like slurping each other off and shit. Yeah, and it's nighttime a lot at the end of it Oh, it's the best thing I've seen it's kind of like Shakespeare. Yeah, people are like slurping each other off and shit. Really? Yeah, and it's nighttime a lot at the end of it.
Oh, fuck.
That's the best thing I've ever seen.
It's kind of like Shakespeare.
Yeah.
Okay.
Damn.
Yeah, I mean, if you think about it, no one you knew in your personal network ever had
to worry about physical concerns, you're just off on this whole different thing where
it's like you get 40 grand a month to like live your weird life and then you go to a
Christmas party and you got to like have a business
But there's no reason to really have one and you get into this weird like back and forth stuff
It's just crazy that they did make it that many generations
Like these rich families because usually the second generation is yeah, that's the same
Yeah, usually your son spends it all he buys it once a bunch of hot pies
Ruins at all.
That ain't nothing to do with you.
Lamarie.
It can happen anybody.
I'm just saying that.
But there is always like, yeah, I'm an invest in dump trucks.
And he has 60 dump trucks and his wife fucking shoot.
It does come off the way it comes off.
It comes off wheels come off.
You get a hunter.
The what?
You get a hunter button.
Yeah, true.
Good next generation is gonna be nuts.
That's pretty quick.
Yeah.
Trump Jr.'s holding in tight dude.
He's holding it down.
Trump dynasty.
Trump dynasty is taking a little good hands.
True.
Along with the, with the young fellow's name,
whisker, whatever.
Baron.
Baron's fucking he means he's. Baron he's, he's in gay altitude.
He's like six tenths.
He played, he played ball.
He's reaching gay altitude.
Dizzying heights.
He's, he's, he's gone.
He's gone.
He better play ball.
If he hadn't played ball, didn't know he's going to vote for him.
He said, you know, if Baron Trump was good at basketball, if they put out a highlight
tape right now, Trump, Trump wins the election in a fucking
landslide.
True.
Who do you think your vice president should be?
Because you got to pick somebody now, you have to realize it doesn't even fucking matter.
Like the guys either going to go to geofrembasement or he's going to help you get votes because
he's cool, right?
No matter who your vice president.
So you almost want to pick somebody that just has like, people like, first of all?
Yeah, that's, no, I think that's all it is now.
Cause no one knows if he's Trump's vice is gonna be.
Yeah, I mean, he had Michael Pence that do collect,
fucking those, he collects those like,
American Christmas, villages.
Yeah, he's not.
I don't know what the thinking was with him.
I guess he was like, well, he was like, he wanted to know what the thinking was with him. I guess he was like Well, he was like
Yeah, pencil pencil is the water to Trump's lame you needed someone like real just fucking plastic
We go double flame this time with Trump. I think he might I think he should get Charles Barker
Charles Barker. He tights it's all about
Dr. Fucking rule dude. It's good call. Oh, if he had it would be a wrap dude forget it. Yeah
Future close notice turns his neck like that.
Sealo is fucking great man. Yeah.
Yeah.
We got to ride on a airplane with him one time.
Did you really?
Yeah.
Really nice guy.
But yeah, and also I want to say I don't know for a fact
that Mike Pence collects Christmas.
I believe it.
It's so believable though.
But I have seen images and JPEGs and everything. Yeah. so believable though. I have seen
Images and JPEGs and everything. Yeah, I don't know
Yeah, but you can see it you can see him like putting a final piece. Yeah, that's not
Now isn't that beautiful and the train just come
And it says all our money is just headed to Ukraine. Well, that's beautiful.
Yeah, man, that's the spirit.
Well, it's just crazy.
I think the Ukrainian president is a communist.
I dude, it's fucked up.
And he just embezzled like a billion dollars.
What are you doing?
He sold all their farmland basically.
He just sold the country's farmland.
And I'm not saying that people over there there's not a war and it's not
horrific but I just don't understand how like funding a war helps any of it to me that that just doesn't help anybody
yeah you get gadgets I guess you get some gadgets but you got to find some way to peace I don't think funding a war helps anything
yeah true I mean I don't know they say America has but I get it out against Russia like yeah with all the technology is Russia
Probably has similar tech, but like but we also should find me we should find the one drug that's going on over here
True, we don't have many lose arms here, so it's good to focus on yeah the Don boss region that's next
We better not lose Crimea
We better I want that back Crimea. I need that to go back to the line. We need that. Yeah, we need it back
Yeah, I need Crimea. I had to take a second. I was like which one is that in I'm like, yeah, it's Ukraine. We need Crimea
We're going from Mexico next. We're in a war on the cartels. It can't get you think yeah, I think so
I think though I think they'll just roll them out and then it'll just be like
Pharmacy little companies to sell on opiates now. I think they'll shut down boy
They'll just produce down there with the problem shut down I wouldn't fight Max. I like Mexico. I'm actually
a sweet. I wouldn't fight him. I hope we don't fight him. They're going to be population wise. They'll be
in like 50 years. They'll be coming up there. We're going to dip. We're going to dip hard.
Yeah, that's the culture we I'm curious to see what their move is as a political power.
Because at some point population wise, they're going to tip the scales.
So that's when they could, if they want, storm all of the houses and all of the, they
wanted to.
Yeah.
At that point, it's a numbers game and they could bring it down and really have some control
over stuff.
They could take back Texas and half of California.
Yeah, they could take their land back.
That was Mexico.
And they're already, they're in position. Walking all these banks just shut the fucking bank down. Yeah.
Look how man. That'll be, I read a book about the next 100 years and their predicting Mexico will be
really? Yeah. I don't know. They think Poland too will be a whole lot of Poland is going to be a
ride. No, it is right now. Poland's given speeches right now. Oh, yeah.
Shit. Turkey, Poland, Mexico, the US, and we're not taking any of this bullshit.
Any of this fucking widow, waggle bullshit that's bringing down all so many parts of the
rest of the world. Hey, we don't want any of who to thought the poll locks.
This guy's been fucking spot on, dude. I'm telling you, I read that book like two years ago.
And it was like you created Vater Russia right away. They think China is going to collapse.
Russia's going to collapse and it'll be Mexico, US, Poland, Turkey.
We had a Chinese wakeers today beautiful lady South Korean. Yeah, yeah
Where'd you go?
launch at a little bit rotisserie or whatever it's called nice and
That was our service. It was pretty good. She was very charming. Yeah, that's nice. And she was a nice lady. That's nice. She married. Ah
She's married you're married. Yeah, married. You can still be friends. You could have been friends, huh?
You could have been friends with her if you want. Yeah, I looked up online if you're married or not
Did you really yeah? Oh, thank you, man. Yeah
Did you have two adorable children? I think yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah?
I thought I was like kind of cool something put that adjective that adjiv it or this ad bird, what is it?
Adjiv adorable.
I was like, this is kind of a nice,
that somebody went,
because Wiki is so like, you know.
Oh, they did my, they talked about that
and what you do.
Yeah, this guy's kills animals.
They never put anything nice.
No, no.
But we'll say this guy is too adorable.
Did they say that in the word?
Yeah, I just thought,
that's nice.
It's so much better.
That's nice. I remember Google. It's so much cared.
That's nice.
I remember Google and myself two years ago, and the top question was, what does Matt McCusker
do?
No one has any idea about it.
I want to.
Little mystery, man.
I like to have him your daughter here.
Yeah, much money takes me to keep that mystery going every month.
I'll tell you how much.
Where's that fucking Patreon?
Don't talk to her beloved. All of our monies inside to hardship with all our big coins
Oh, yeah, dude. Oh, that's that Freddie Mercury kryptonite right there son
One nugget of that in a fucking in an American Legion and all this guys
Flashbang dude you can flashbang a American Legion with this thing one guy would pick it up
You can flash man American Legion with this thing. One guy would pick it up and tell him,
he's like, everybody get out.
What the hell is this?
It's just Fudy.
Somebody would dive on it,
take it for the rest of the Legion.
But he'd dive on this, he'd do it.
Yeah, like everything everyone all at once.
Okay.
Get out of here, Jim.
So God just saddles it.
He's just like, whoa, dude.
That's not how we, that's how you know some of the your military buddies are okay. I think if somebody
has a job.
Say his own good name doesn't ask for it.
And they do it with their butt.
Yeah.
Like right before it explodes you go.
True.
Oh fuck.
Really?
Byron.
That would be crazy exploding ass first.
Like having all that force.
Fucking but at least you get to go like this true you to go up in the air true
Yeah, you don't blow
Just kind of a dignified way to go you're not the duty just laying there looking at the ground of a fucking bowling alley or
Why you're fucking I ask it's blown in the air and then you feel a little bit of it laying
on the back of your neck before you fucking go
and conscious forever.
God, that's gonna be so crazy.
Jumping on grenades.
You think they'll be able to simulate that in a while?
What it feels like?
VR grenade explosion.
You die like a hero.
Yeah, I hope so.
I hope it's coming.
There's supposed to have racism VR coming up really. We can put it on and walk down the street die like a hero. Yeah. I hope so. I hope it's coming.
There's supposed to have racism VR coming up really?
We can put it on and walk down the street and like yeah,
people will just, you're supposed to be able to feel
what it's like if people aren't going to be.
It's just like people walking by like,
huh.
I know you're like, how unreal is that?
I can't wait to see you on realistic.
This is gonna be.
No.
No.
You're not allowed in here
You know sweet green is just 45 year old white guys be like we don't serve you
With your show what are some new dog just shows up at dog
You can have apples with your show. What if a new dog just shows up at dog parks?
You just look like Lada, Lada, Lada.
It would be funny if in the racial simulation,
all the white people stay and then you get jumped by five black dudes.
You still get jumped.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We're gonna be great.
Well, that'll be nice though,
because then you'll have the implicit bias.
You can take the test to see if you're racist.
Then afterwards, you can put the helmet on and be like,
oh my god, oh so bad.
Yeah, some bullshit, man.
That'd be fun.
Test is nice though.
It'd be nice.
If they could put it into a Tesla, that'd be sick.
True.
Shit, that'd be nice.
Everyone's just hating on you while you're driving around.
That's sorry.
30% chance of black.
Yeah.
Or Mexican or dangerous.
Vietnam is.
It just shows you what percentage.
I. Yeah.
Dangerous Vietnamese at 40 feet.
Car autopilot some speeds through. I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like,
I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I've talked about that a lot. Every time I get behind the wheel. Yes, in the content.
So I got busted, and I'm not proud of this.
It wasn't my proudest moment, but I was with my wife
and a couple of her friends, and it was like a...
Her friends, their kids.
True.
It was a couple of her friends.
I was like, claim them.
Her buddies.
Her buddies.
Couple of our buddies.
No, we were driving in.
It was just like, whacked out pickup truck,
and it pulled around, and like,
I didn't, there was someone driving aggressively behind us. I'm like, this candy whacked out pickup truck and it like pulled around and like I didn't there was someone driving
Aggressively behind us and like this candy doubt pickup truck passes. I didn't know I was like of course and then she was like
What do you mean? I was like?
I'm not not my proudest moment for context to my wife's black
So it was like I was the only white man in the car and I hit it like the thing came by on off course
Oh, that was like
Did you get a pass was a Mexican guy? I was like, yeah, he's Mexicans driving crazy.
He's fucking Indian guy.
He's fucking Mexican guys driving crazy.
They're pick up trucks.
Wasn't proud. It came out. I went, the South's tough to tell.
And I was pissed because I was getting tailed in the car.
Yeah, no, I'm saying it's tough to guess guess race in the South.
South, yeah, true. There's a lot of honkies down here that drive.
It's a lot more dirty than the South crazy. Yeah, a lot of blankies, too. Dude, a lot of black's tough to guess guess race in the South. Yeah, true. There's a lot of honkeys down here the drive It's a lot more dirty than something crazy. Yeah a lot of blankies, too
Dude a lot of black dudes trying to be white true
True you see that shit much more than you used to down a South yeah, everywhere
True that every now and then you see yeah
Some brother trying to fucking whiten out
Pants high so yeah, it's pants totally fucking high. Yeah, it's not lunchable. Yeah, that is our cuisine
Clarence on that lunchable
You like with the fuck man, but that's also
You know, I believe in beige power in the end. We all end up beige right so it's just this is just
How we're all getting there true in the meantime so
Yeah, that's just what's going on, you know, I agree man, and it's I think there's it's fun of to
As long as you're not out doing crimes or anything. It's fun to joke around about true
Yeah, I was actually one of the other day have the attacks on elderly Asian women gone down
It seemed to like I bet you the exact same rate. It's just you think so. That's a good point
I don't think anybody that was committing those types of crimes was going home and watching the news and being like I should stop
My way. Yeah, if you're sockin Indian lady at the subway
You're not gonna watch CNN you don't think wolf day. You don't think Wolf Blitzer could look you
in the eyes of the TV and transform you?
Stop it.
For Anderson Kubrick, he would have froze me.
If I just got back from just fucking
the lockin' lady in the subway,
and Anderson's like knock it off.
So I can every like bank robbery movie
with like, just sit down.
They're in public and the local news comes on.
It's like, this is the video.
Oh, I think it being the guy who socked an Asian lady at the subway at a train station and then news comes on. It's like, this is the video. Yeah. Think of being the guy who sucked an Asian lady
at a train station in the next.
Do you do that?
That comes on the TV.
They definitely wake up in the hospital every time though.
Yes.
They probably, the guy comes out of the hospital like,
oh, Jesus Christ, not again, fork.
Thanks buddy.
Absolutely.
That's the total hospital's move.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
The hospital used to seem more reliable, huh? I, yeah. I think it doesn't seem that reliable, is it used to seem more reliable, huh?
I yeah, I think it doesn't seem that reliable.
Is it used to?
You can walk in and get in the frame.
Do you agree?
This isn't a professional.
Yeah.
Yeah, don't worry about it.
Thank you, bro.
Thank you to the Canadian man.
The canuck.
I mean, it's got engaged actually 10.
Oh, the grass, that's nice.
That's awesome. What's his name?
No Canadian engagement true my Tim's an illegal alien for long time
Shush
Tim was a visitor from the North
How'd you get past our wall up there?
He got past the wall because Dragon's burnt it down.
How the hell'd you blend in? How do people not pick you out?
You're a white lady doing here.
He came up with a koal under trade
You're the clippers
It's part of that
Fuck is quiet now quiet in the clip with a great of certain places could just attach low-couple people to their fucking deals
Like all the pork barrel spending is something goes on where they just attach all the fucking, you know
We're gonna give six homes to fucking you know, you know, people that don't have any
Buttony's gonna. What ever time is gonna the Dodgers? We're gonna throw in a couple cool ass dudes, you know
Miss those days, man
That'd be a good blend. What's that wheel trip? I asked well with the NBA and just fucking see who's better
Yeah, not just like you get you have to have like two dudes. Oh, I like rolling like a seventh man.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, five man or five minute or six man. Yeah, but the six man is rolling. Yeah.
Anna is posterizing them. So one dude, one dude always has to be in a wheelchair. Yeah.
Ooh, six man on the court. One's in a wheelchair. But it's got to be a a wheelchair. Yeah. Ooh. Six men on the court, ones in a wheelchair. But it's gotta be a legit wheelchair guy.
You can't just, you can't put, no bombs.
Ray Allen in a wheelchair.
Right.
Oh yeah, I didn't think about that.
Wheelchair guys are pretty capable, dude.
You see what happens.
Yeah, they're nasty.
Hawking was up to,
they're mad dude.
Who in the longest would take that charge?
I'm fucking bearing down on him.
Yeah.
Getting steamrolled, I would,
I get the fuck out of the way.
Oh yeah, Hawke was
Hawke was on the island, bro. He was pretty good. I was on the Alitan crossbar on a true
Blocked the shot so I can like burn this
Damn yeah Hawke was on the Epstein's island. Yeah, give a pass. I
Don't know I think he was just looking
He is a nasty.
Oh really?
He wasn't his allegations with like Midgets?
Yeah, apparently he liked to watch Midgets like solve math probably like make him do weird
shit and he just like watch him and get horny.
Yeah, man, that's a deep rep.
Yeah, but that's basically substitute teaching.
I don't know if that's like, that's also sounds like an early,
it sounds like an early part of the wrestling thing
like you were saying earlier, sorry, I can't think of the word.
It sounds like a wrestling story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, true, that's not that.
That's what he was doing, he was making me just do math.
Yeah, but I think he was getting turned on,
which is, I can't do that.
Yeah.
Why?
Yeah. Which somebody made a made a yeah somebody made a video
Yeah, it's a major it's like the math castle if they couldn't solve the problem
They just got fucking molested I get
Not funny man
It's not funny
I know there was children on the island, which is a bad other butt dude
Midget pipeline is crazy getting midget flying midgets down there to do fucking math
Thankfully our government is protecting
And they killed that steam just go I can't get a pot hole filled in
But you can fill a fucking nine-year year old out in the middle of the fucking ocean.
Fuck this whole fucking government.
It's crazy.
It's a bunch of sick fucking people, bro.
Yeah, man.
And a lot of it, I just wonder if it's just power.
How long, like you were saying,
like generations of fucking power,
do you just get so sick that even caring about somebody
doesn't even seem like it makes any sense to you anymore?
Yeah, dude.
Dude, who was the one who was a job free?
Was the lady, Virginia job free, I think, was like the original victim.
Was it a job free?
A goofrey.
Guffrey came out and was like, these people did all this stuff to me and they settled.
Epstein's original charge was because of Guffrey.
And then they sealed all the documents.
The court was like, all right, we'll settle this and like, yeah, like my are bad about
all that stuff, but like no one can ever find out about anything that had to do it which is like why cuz it was intelligent
Yeah, true. It was
Just staying literally blackmailing every single person that went to there true. Yeah, they did they found them in his house in Florida
The docs no just cameras. Oh, yeah, the honey potter the whole thing was yeah
Yeah, at least they killed them.
They said he killed them. They definitely just fucking killed them. And we can't, you
know, we can't. All we can do is continue to say it over and over again, because none of
us will do anything about it. But true. They literally killed him in front of everybody.
We got a steel casket and driving away. We got big, that's a good move. Bill Clinton would
jump on it. Did he have funerals? I don't think he had a move. Bill Clinton would jump on it.
Did he have funerals?
I don't think he had a funerals.
I think it was a Zoom funeral.
It was a Zoom funeral.
The worst is that guy they caught J.O. when that is on a Zoom funeral.
Yeah, that was good one.
He got brought back.
They did an interview to try to bring him back.
The lady, the female interviewer had to address it
like right away.
She was like, you got caught masturbating, didn't you?
Oh yeah, a little guy.
He was like, yeah.
What?
Yeah, my bad.
A lot of people got busted during the Zoom.
I think a lot of people got busted.
Well, it's scary now to think, even if you watch pornography,
they're saying that a lot of these websites,
that's how they get stuff on people.
Because they can just turn your camera on.
So they're watching you watch porn. and that's the footage that they use
of almost everybody whenever they need to come to you and say, hey man, you can't do
that. You got to host the Golden Globes. Yeah. Yeah. You got to host the Golden Globes.
And that was a strange joke. But I just want to make sure that it gets out. Okay, so Cat Williams, I didn't fucking steal it
from Ricky Smiley Harvey.
Okay.
I don't want to mention it.
Don't mention it.
Don't talk to Cat, dude.
I don't want him coming after it.
Dude, I would love to get to spend time with Cat, man.
He's super fascinating, I think.
Yeah.
You know?
Yeah, I would like to see his new show, his new hour.
And he has a lot, his body has like a very long torso. I think you know
My sister's boyfriend has like really short legs
Really yeah, yeah, yeah, you've seen him sure
He's kind of going to shoes a little this that yeah, he's got no shins. I don't know what he I didn't look at him that I'm not fucking
Pervin out
Checking I don't know what he, I didn't look at him that, I'm not fucking, perving out of the way. I'm not checking it, probably gonna be. Would you want him to be ripped though?
You want him to be kind of ripped though, don't you?
Yeah, I think he is probably half-a-day.
Sisters boyfriend?
Yeah, you don't want ripped.
You don't want to be ripped?
I like a good, soft, deli boyfriend.
True.
He's built like a rural otter.
That's good.
Short legs, jacked fucking sisters boyfriend, sucks dude. Yeah, I never really had that
Trying to think oh that would be the war yeah, you go god damn this guy's fucking
It'd be a sigh of it have to be destroyed from yeah to destroy the mentality the whole time
Yeah, I never had like a jacked you'd have to poison him. Oh true. Yeah, yeah, I couldn't fight him
Yeah
If you're getting it said bro that must be the worst if you hate your sister's boyfriend like really hate in him, huh? Yeah, yeah, you couldn't fight him. Yeah, you have to get in this head. But
that must be the worst of you hate your sister's boyfriend, like really hate him. Yeah,
it happens all the time. Yeah, it's got to be crazy. Yeah, our family's pretty tight. Everyone's,
I love my brother, I was always, yeah, I was always a coward towards them. Really? I would
always like whoever my sisters were dating, but he's fucking so cool. Yeah, well, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah. Well, that gave me a stone cold t-shirt right away.
I was like,
I'm a fucking die for this guy.
Oh, yeah.
I loved him, dude.
Oh, that's like an autism valentine.
Yeah, I was locked in.
They broke up, I was sad.
Damn, I was like, oh yeah, I'm gonna see him.
You're just sleeping in that stone cold t-shirt?
Yeah, right, the t-shirt.
Just, he's still smelling.
No, my sister's boyfriend is actually a neat guy. Stone call. Yeah, right. That's still smell him.
Now, my sister boyfriend is actually a neat guy. That's cool.
Bye.
Yeah, if you get a dud, that stinks.
Yeah.
Yeah, cause also it's like,
we don't need another fucking loser in our family.
Yeah.
But that's who lose their families attract.
There's more losers.
But at the family, this used to be cool back in the old days.
The family would get together and vote.
They would have a say in a lot of times it was because we are fucking our family is horrible.
It's mentally unwell.
Not even doing well, not reading well.
Not even seeing that well.
Someone's can't see.
Damn.
You're going to go out and bring in another.
No, they're loser.
Add another mutant to our fucking
claim of fucking dips.
Yeah, you better take that cooter up the hill, baby.
Trill, all right.
And find some fucking shackles in his pocket, all right?
It's got to be another poor guy to the mix.
That sucks.
Exactly.
Poor, but he has to have a skill,
he has to have an ability.
Yeah, at least a flicker will open his eyes.
Yeah, true.
You know, because if you're just,
yeah, you got a fuck up hill, man.
Yeah.
You know, that's just a lot of whim.
You just need to turn around and just point that vagina
in northward.
Yeah.
You know what, I agree.
And shoot for the star.
Yeah, true. Yeah, I mean, or get the star. Yeah, true.
Yeah, I mean, or get like the nice like is you don't want to go too too high because they can chase that dragon forever too. That's true, but like a nice dependable 401.
Yeah, I totally agree.
You're the opposite of the opposite of a power couple.
You've addressed this.
What the joke?
Oh, the guys walking.
Yeah, yeah.
The unpowerful cult.
Yeah, the opposite of the power
trouble. Those guys are tough. And you see that the crack eight couples walking on the highway.
Oh, yeah, our friend Eric Myr is died. I don't know how I remember that. Yeah, what?
There's heartbreaking. Die on the highway. Yeah. Yeah. I shouldn't have brought that up.
But that's all right. It's fair. Have it. It's that. I know. Stealers had a quarterback that died
that way. No, bad. What was it? And Rafflesberger? No, Ben. Haven't you know? Steelers had a quarterback that died that way.
No.
What was it?
Ben Rafflesberger?
No, Ben.
Didn't get in the car.
You got a motorcycle accident.
Roll road rash.
Yeah.
Musical hero.
Yeah.
Don't try to cross the highway.
Haskins died that.
What?
Fuck, that sucks.
Yeah.
You're pedestrian in that sucks, man.
Walking down there. Damn. Getting hit by a fucking car on a highway like that
Especially you see it coming. You know, I don't think you do
You think I don't know I would just imagine when you're trying to cross the street and you're like that things far away
I can do they come up quick on so fast
Nobody hits their horn on them.
They're not swearing at them.
You're just doing headlines.
You feel something start to press into the side of you.
That's all you ever.
That's all it is.
And you get, you're seeing someone get hit by a car
because you go up in the air, high as fuck.
Yeah, it pays shoes fly off.
Yeah, shoes fly off. It's fucking crazy. You go long you go straight like a fucking
It's a tiddly wink. It's for real you go up and just like that is bizarre
There's a couple of interviews with people that have survived falling out of playing crashes and stuff
Falling out of the sky I guess what we talking about asking Airlines the other the fucking door ripped off
That's the scariest thing possible did anyone fly out. I don't know
So you don't get sucked out I don't think you get sucked out that was kind of like all the things are sound the headlines
They were like a panel can just fly off the plane and did everything in forever that I thought you get sucked out
I think about it. I still thought that told right now. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it. I think about it down I would scream dude, I would have been making the weirdest noises for door rip off the plane
Yeah, he'd be making the noises
You'd be making noises you didn't know you could make people like
Get you feel the G-Force
I'd be sucked into my seat like the gravator on there. Hopefully you would faint. True from the juice.
Hopefully you would faint.
G4's.
I like it but get fly like play.
You're just talking.
Sting and shit.
What is going on?
You would lose.
Yeah.
Who knows what a reaction you'd have.
You might be like euphoric.
It might be just a crazy.
You fucking hum somebody's dog out of this.
Somebody has a dog.
Somebody has to die.
It's this dog.
And I'm joking, the dog has a parachute on it.
True.
And he knows how to use it.
He's trained.
Has anyone done that before throwing a dog out
with a parachute?
Oh yeah.
I'm probably skydiving with a dog.
Skydiving with it.
I'm seeing it.
That's crazy.
It's pretty good, the dog's mouth.
Jody.
The lip.
That is the ultimate rolled down window though for the dog. Yeah
It's kind of nice dog skydive and search that and just the poor back on what you're here. Find that exists
Serving surfing dogs that's good. Serving dogs. Awesome. You're the dog serving. Yeah, yeah, what else we got skydiving dogs
That's good. Oh, yeah, fucking military skydives dogs.
Oh, yeah.
They'll drop those boys out of sky.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna take my leave.
He's fucking brought up the picture on his phone.
Hey.
Yeah, and bad dad's he's post-editing.
Hey.
Don't worry about what we're doing.
No, he's fucking awesome.
This is how we do it here.
No, it's fucking great.
Damn, we forgot to turn the fire on crap start over
We need that thing on yeah, get that blue flame going oh, I have one of those indoor fires is so nice
Yeah, it's good. It's not real fire. That's
Yeah, we could fuck that up having a real same reason I'm not getting probably not gonna get a gun the what the gun?
Yeah, I drank a lot come back here late. Yeah, guns. I just want to show everybody the gun. I got it
You have to play with it take it out. I'll play with it in your room. That's how Chris died dude. It's not loaded
Who everybody's a friend Chris
Yeah, if I have a gun I'm gonna shoot it that's that fence. Oh, you have to do and and you know
you're gonna be walking by that fence when you shoot. No Chris Chris. It's just everybody has a
friendly Chris that died from some gun accident. And I hate to even laugh about it, man. It's
fucking sad. I don't know. It's sad for a lot of people right now here and that and it just makes me fucking
say it. No, that's true. It's so dangerous though. I know the fuck but they're so fun to play with. They're awesome. So fine.
I can remember. Yeah, I don't think it's memories of showing my I completely showing a gun holding a gun. My fondest memories from me and my friends. Yeah, a couple of drinking show. Yeah.
High on fucking hallucinogens. My father's gun pointing at each other. It's my favorite times.
hallucinogens, my father's gun pointing at each other. It's my favorite times.
It's fun. Take mushrooms, put a gun to your head.
I'd have come in and be like, do you guys get into my gun save again? God damn it. Get out of here.
You little rascals.
My dad is.
But it has a shotgun in our coat closet by our front door. I'll grab that.
Get that. I don't know what he's doing. Put that on your head.
Yeah.
I'm just really going, this won't stop the rain.
You should you to prank your family
with your family dinner.
Just boss out the shotgun.
I'm like, man, I'm fucking up for you guys.
Yeah, I'm just fucking up.
We just get over here.
We get the cameras here, guys.
I'm fucking prank you.
That's awesome, man.
Yeah.
No, we don't.
I think you can play with guns.
I had a lot of guns in my house growing up. I had a ton of
fucking guns. I'd be so scared. But yeah, I think part of it is somebody teaching how
to use it well and just what's going on. I'm scared to carry them. I went shooting with
my wife and I was carrying the gun to the car, which I was like, I'll carry it. I fucking
dropped it. I dropped the gun. I just dropped it. I don't I have a bad I don't pay attention
to things at all.
What are you talking about, man?
We were just carrying a handgun
because you can, you can bring your own gun to the thing.
Yeah, I know how you, I know how having a gun works.
What I'm saying is how do you drop a fucking
gun?
I don't pay attention to my head
to the clouds all the time.
Were you holding it?
Yeah, I was fucking holding it.
You were walking back to your car holding the pistol.
You didn't hold straight or put it in like a case. You were carrying back to your car holding the pistol. You didn't holster it or put it in like a case.
You were carrying the pistol back.
Yeah, just straight in the air.
Because I'm going to my fucking court now.
Now I'm trying to remember I didn't put in the case.
But I remember dropping it to where like it hit the asphalt.
I was like, oh fuck, it's a lot of scratch.
It's probably scratch with the fuck.
I scratched it there. Go off.
The whole thing, I was after my wife was like, she she can actually shoot so she was teaching me and I'm like
Dude get the fuck off me and I'm like so I was already in an all-time low. Wait was she wrapping around? Oh, yeah
She's trained she was a fucking police officer. You don't get trained that way. It's sexy
It is sexy. It's a but no for real. I was like get off me like stop. You're embarrassing. It's much like one arm man
True that's love.
Dude, but then I was like, I'm carrying a gun.
I wanted to assert my manhood.
So I'm like, I'm carrying a gun to the car.
I think I was just like, fuck.
Check it in the chamber.
This is just mixed love, man.
What this is.
This sounds like every mixed relationship
of every business.
There's not one mixed couple that hasn't dropped a gun
in a parking lot.
Somebody else. She was so mad. There's not one mixed couple that hasn't dropped a gun in a parking lot
She was so mad Yeah, but that's funny did she laugh? No, she was like this. I told you I should be carried
It's like I know how to fucking carry that one left I have fucking butter fingers relax
Someone coming at us
Dude
It was ridiculous I was like, I'm in my head. I was like, I'm in my head. I was like, I'm in my head. I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head.
I was like, I'm in my head. I was like, I'm in my shot. I've seen you hit the bag. True.
You could do some damage.
I could weld in the true.
Yeah, you could weld in the true.
Yeah, and I'm ready to die.
If someone's especially seen coming,
you hide behind a corner.
Oh, yeah.
Do you think people want to live that much anymore?
That's a question.
First hand, no.
Like I feel like 20 years ago, people were like,
it stoked about living.
Yeah.
Now I feel like people are kind of just on the fence.
Maybe we were just young.
It's a super question.
I could be true too.
Because when I was young, I was pretty stoked on life.
Yeah, maybe the suicide rate has fucking...
The deaths of the spare have definitely gone up.
But that includes like overdosed stuff.
But there's also a lot more tall buildings than you used to be.
True.
More land of opportunity.
It is a land of opportunity.
Yeah, do think about it.
In the 1800s, you had to fucking drive all the way to St. Louis to even fucking jump
Yeah, true you'd to find a cliff. Yeah, yeah, now you can just do it almost in your area. Yeah, definitely
You can find a nice 5G tower true. Oh, well, nice. I've seen some people fall
Trying to shut it down be like 5G's fucking
Jump all
down be like five geez fucking up all these jump all
that.
But someone's like that.
Bums and drones if you see.
Oh dude.
That's so sad.
It is really mean but god damn it's
funny when they're so funny.
They bucket the drone.
They try to throw shit at it.
They fall down into their own trash.
It's an understandable response.
So it'd be so scary.
Well yeah.
Someone has brought a drone.
And exactly what you knew was
happening happened. You like the government surveilling me with future technology. Well, yeah, someone has brought up a marathon exactly what you knew was happening happened.
You like the government surveilling me with future technology.
And then a drone comes in your tent.
It just, yeah, just 12 years laughing hysterically.
12 years old on the other side of the hill.
Like, shit, we got him.
Whose dad's actually worked for the government.
So, yeah, yeah, locate, you're kind of correct.
You know how sad would be like if you're a family member
got addicted to drugs
and he lost them to being a homeless guy,
then you just scrolling through Instagram,
you see your fucking son getting attacked by his,
oh, that's true.
You know what's crazy?
I bet that's a real, that's like,
yeah, it's definitely a reality.
And I bet part of them is like,
just like, it's fucking ridiculous.
And part of them is thankful
that they're dead even alive.
But that also doesn't have to be just bombs, dude.
If it drone started falling me,
I would react the exact same way as those other stuff.
Yeah, but drone just pulled up at your fucking party.
I'd be throwing stuff at it.
Yeah, you could piss.
My friend had this and went over his backyard
and he was like, I'm gonna shoot this fucking thing.
Yeah, I'm not.
You should be able to shoot him easy.
Can you legally shoot him?
I mean, you should own your airspace,
but I don't know.
It gets him like a hazy thing.
Cause they're technically an airspace. So it's like, it's not your property, but I don't know. It gets in like a hazy thing. Because they're technically in airspace,
so it's like it's not your property,
but I think you could shoot them in a court would be like,
yeah, that makes sense.
It's the only reasonable thing to even do
if you see a drone fly over you.
I agree.
Shoot it, yeah, get in there.
I call it a drone catcher.
Something like that comes out with a man on the set.
I do have a pool.
That pool net, a skimmer, I can swing at it.
True, that'd be nice.
Aw, if you can't, if I was trying to get a drone and be so embarrassing the food
I'd like spin around and fall trying to give my shirt would come up. Oh, I think it's so cruel
I don't know. Yeah, who would who would get that footage though? It's pretty fucking cruel, man
But who would get it like probably kids. That's kids. Yeah, hopefully. Yeah, it has to be
It is it is objectively very funny though.
To see homeless dudes fucking like shaking their fists out of fucking clothes.
It is funny.
It's kind of like the new bump fights, at least it's safer than that.
Yeah.
That's true.
And I think also that, um, fuck, I don't know whatever that was.
Was that you?
Someone grabbed it?
Got it going nuts.
How long have we been going for?
Oh, yeah, we can stop whenever
Yeah, that's awesome you were watch bump fights. I
Don't think I watched I didn't like the shit couldn't get my hands. I didn't watch it. Yeah, I was I knew about it
And I didn't like it the one enough prizes for them. I felt like and there was
No ranking it just feel like it was this organized. Yeah, yeah, that was doing girls going wild
So it was kind of like getting girls gone wild was I never got a hold on
I never I don't know if I've got a dishwasher in there
Those were like the two fabled tapes. It was girls going wild and bumflips. Oh, I think I saw all either
I did get a hold of faces death there. Did you at a sleepover? I'm answering the mail box
I'm just joking, my mother did.
He seemed like a really great gosh and I said that.
He is great.
He is a great guy.
But that's like a drone.
But dude, if you pull a drone up really on anybody, it would be fucking great.
Business man and drone.
Like, it could be absolutely anybody.
That'd be nice.
Pokers and drones.
Yeah, that'd get mad at that.
They would not like it.
They get so mad about everything. Yeah, they don't. Yeah. Hookers get so fucking mad. Yeah, they'd get mad at that. They would not like it. They get so mad about everything.
Yeah, they don't.
Hookers get so fucking mad.
Yeah, they got a job to do.
They're mad all the time.
Are hookers nice sometimes?
It's a tough run, man.
It's a tough way to make things.
I'm trying to think of it as nice.
They're not that nice.
That feel like they're the meanest.
Yeah, they're the meanest.
Some are nice.
Really?
The other nice is you want. You want them to be so much nice. I just feel like yeah, I'm just afraid of right
But I think you romanticize that it's gonna be something real perfect and it's just a business true. Yeah, that's true
It's my heart. Yeah, it's like my heart. That's just they're talking. There's all business
But what the fuck you want it in?
What do you expect from yeah, that should do it. Thank you, man. It was awesome. I think we did it. Yeah, I think, hey, here we'll do it again.
Yeah, how you, thank you for coming here.
Yeah, thank you.
I think we covered a lot of stuff.
We did.
Yeah, that's it on it.
It was fun.
It was easy.
Oh, yeah.
I'm really glad that I got to come.
Sorry, took me so long to come in.
No, I've heard that before.
Not the U.S.
Don't worry about it, brother.
Have just all of us.
Sometimes you can't.
And that's fine.
True.
Hey, bro, let me autograph this rocket jersey for you.
Oh, joking, man.
Thank you guys, bro.
Yeah.
All right, thank you guys.
Oh, joking man.
Thank you guys, bro.
Yeah, all right.
Thank you guys.
Thanks, bro.