Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 480 - R.I.P. Tybalt (feat. Luis J. Gomez)
Episode Date: February 7, 2024Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Luis @ luisofskanks.com/ @ https://gasdigitalnetwork.com/ Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Get ...Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Hello. We're back again. Woo hoo. This week the D.A.W.G.Z. are joined by our dear pal Louie Goatmez. Another blessed Wednesday. Please enjoy. God Bless. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/MSSP and get on your way to being your best self. New customers can score $200 instantly in bonus bets for throwing down just $5 on the NFL. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & use code DRENCHED
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, Lewis. Hello, Lewis.
How are you?
Lewis J. J. Gomez.
A fucking genius.
You are genius.
What are you up to now?
What are you working on that's genius?
I started making my own AI art posters for my tours.
Oh, I saw that.
Dude, I, I, I fired shitty artists.
I'm no longer paying $30 a poster to shitty artists.
You just type in $90 for the year for AI art.
Pretty easy.
I have no problem with it.
Well, I have a problem with people using AI.
No, I don't give a fuck.
Yeah. About for what? For anything. Well, I have a problem with people using AI. No, I don't give a fuck. Yeah, about for what for anything
Yeah, I don't really care. No the artwork looks kind of whack like kind of whacked out. What's yours look like is it better?
It's still kind of whacked out, but I kind of like it. Does it matter?
Yeah, I don't think it matters at all. You could draw a fucking stick figure with a microphone.
You literally take a picture put the date on the bottom of it and that's's that a lot of them are ironically bad. It works like bad photo shops.
That's what people do anyway.
Was that what the depraved was?
The devil one?
The devil.
That was a.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was a.
I.
That was a.
I.
I.
I.
I.
I.
No, it wasn't.
I didn't, I didn't just say, hey, give me a depraved poster.
Yeah.
I fucking said, I want a devil performing for demons in hell comedy.
I broke my prompt.
Then I said, I don't like that one.
I said, regenerate like three times.
And I liked the one they came up with.
That's it.
Then I put it into another poster making program to where I could add all of the
names and the fucking new photos.
You took it from there.
Then I.
I love satanic comedies.
That's what I want to see.
I want to see the fucking devil doing stand up for sure.
The devil talking about relationships.
There's not enough of that.
There's not like nobody's doing evil comedy.
You know, it's either quirky and fun and cute.
Kind of like fucking, you know, bad ass now,
but nobody's really doing evil comedy.
Bad ass comedy is also hilarious.
What's bad ass comedy?
You guys do bad ass comedy.
Leather jacket, cigarette.
That's awesome.
No, you guys are bad ass comics now. You don't even know. No, that's your you guys are badass comics now
You don't even know oh you you think you're not badass comedians
We're not bad. That's all bad boys of comedy. Yes, you are not bad. We're cutting it boys. We're cutting edge. I'm on guard
We're cutting edge. I'm on guard
No, do you guys are the bad boys you guys are the ultimate bad boys. We're the only evil comics out there
the bad boys. You guys are the ultimate bad boys. No, we're the only evil comics out there.
You guys are the.
You're a mark of the beast, bitch.
You guys are.
Wow, you guys went totally to the dark side.
Yeah, dude.
We're fucking Slytherin all day.
Nah, we're Slytherin.
Slytherin called it.
We're Slytherin.
Nah, obviously we're fucking Gryffindor.
Dude, there's nothing we can do to escape greatness.
We try.
I wish I could be Slytherin.
I just became Gryffindor.
Just Gryffindor through and through.
La Mer is fucking Hufflepuff.
Hufflepuff, fucking asshole, fucking jerking.
You know when you ask people what house they belong to
and they say Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw?
Dude, it's crazy. It's infuriating.
Yeah, there's no way you can say that with a straight face.
Ravenclaws, what's that one? They just do nothing.
Oh, it's like Slytherin Light.
Yeah.
Maybe we could be Ravenclaw.
We still have a little bit of fucking evil comedy.
True.
But we're also selling out to our corporate overlords.
But Harry has the marker of fucking,
he shall not be named right in his forehead.
Shame.
So you got us now.
You're Gryffindor.
There's no escaping it, OK? We'll see. Last time I're Gryffindor. There's no escape.
Okay. We'll see. Last time I got Gryffindor, they banished me.
I had to be slittering for five fucking years.
They referred to you as he shall not be named on the set.
I'm coming back. They're gonna have to fight me. They're gonna have to join forces to wizard me away.
Expelliarmus.
Shane.
Back to podcasts.
Back to the podcasting realm.
It's nice though. I like the podcasting realm.
You guys know I love that.
I'm never going to be beyond the podcasting realm.
Podcasting's nice.
Podcasting fucking rules.
Yeah.
You're just talking.
You're just trying to compete
with someone's internal monologue at work.
As long as you can beat someone in their head being like,
fuck this sucks.
You got a killer podcast on your hands.
We're keeping people alive.
Yeah.
Yes.
You know how many people would have killed themselves
without your podcast?
At least 25.
Don't you get, are you counting the amount of DMs you've gotten
with people being like, Hey dude, just so you know, I would have killed myself without your podcast.
That's a real gay DM that I get once a month.
No, that's not gay.
It's not, dude.
I have to fight every instinct to not post it and make fun of them every time.
Yeah, you really are.
You are the devil.
You are the devil performing for demons.
Dude, you're making a deal.
AI is going to swallow you up.
It's going to tear you up. It's going to tear you up.
That's it, dude.
I like to put money in the hands of hardworking Americans
and say, make a flyer.
Make a flyer, that's it.
It's more about the macro picture for me.
Yeah.
So what you up to, man?
What you been doing?
What's up, man?
We've been missing you.
What have I been doing?
We do miss you.
I've been broke for the past three months.
I stopped touring.
Why you broke?
I stopped touring after I released my last special.
I was like, I'm gonna take like three months off.
Why?
I just never really paid attention to how money worked
in my bank account.
I didn't realize exactly how much touring
was keeping me afloat.
It was the first time in like a long time
where I was like sweating, like legitimately like,
holy fuck dude.
And yeah, so, you know,
I'll really do anything for money
at this point because you guys want to pay me
to do anything, I'm really down.
Can we make a flyer for it?
Dude, can I make your flyers?
Can I make your AI flyer?
Can we make me double AI flyers?
Dude, please hire me to make your flyers
and just pay me a really competitive rate.
You gotta tell you, that's La Mer.
La Mer, that's your job dude.
I'll do a flyer off with La Mer.
I'll do it during the show.
I have a difference.
I have someone else.
Yeah, I was going to say those are nice.
You got spiffy ass flyers.
Yeah, he's good.
Those are spiffy.
I actually, I was like, I walked out, I saw La Mer designing a flyer for you.
Yeah, that was he gave it to me.
I needed it was something like now I was like, let me get something.
Now I'm waiting three days later.
I get a text like, how's this?
I'm like, I already have it. Can I see what it was? It was. I'll tell you right now now. I'm waiting three days later. I get a text like, how's this? I'm like, I already have it.
Can I see what it was?
It was.
I'll tell you right now, because I could 15 minutes of fire.
I'm in and out, dude.
That's a real high end art.
I can make.
I saw the fly you made.
It was trash.
Uh, I changed it.
I saw the, yeah.
Dude, the ground floor of the crap flyer.
The mayor made.
I got to come in and do both their jobs. I got to create a better... I can come in and do both their jobs.
I got to be honest with you.
If you just give me both their salaries,
I'll take a 10% drop.
We'll just start over.
I'll leave gas, digital.
I'll be these fucking guys.
You kidding me?
We can't take our jerbs.
You guys could never...
Hispanic's coming to take your jerbs.
He made his way to Texas to take your jerbs.
You guys got to form a strong wall.
Yeah.
We'll defend our jerseys.
Let's go.
At any cost.
How?
Physical blast.
He knows.
He's Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.
I know.
I could definitely take them both.
No, I don't think you could get both.
That's it.
At the same time, I used that card.
You know what?
Cardini's a wrestler who's not afraid to put a thumb in someone's butt.
And LaMair is, he's a Jiu-Jitsu athlete as well and a fake wrestler.
But right now he's got a dinged up.
He took a brusky tumble the other night.
He took a brusky tumble.
I just rolled your ankle walking.
Oh, yeah.
That used to be the Lewis J. Gomba special.
I just went up to high school once a month and it would never heal
because it was always a little bit rolled.
I'd be walking at it in the middle of conversation just fall on the floor.
Oh, that's I'm still doing that.
I shattered my ankle once a year once a year.
I remember I did.
I just for know it.
There was no there was no athletics involved.
There was no I wasn't running.
I wasn't playing basketball.
It was simply just walking.
And I was for like a year, I kept on doing it.
And I was walking around in a cane when I was in like the 12th grade.
You had a cane.
I had a cane.
Every day you would go off with a cane.
Cause you're rolling an angle.
But it was more than it wasn't got through.
To that point, I had discovered more like metal, pimp devil wear.
Like you'd be like a bowling shirt with the devil.
I'm like big Janko jeans.
Oh my God.
Like a cane.
What was your cane?
You didn't have a regular cane.
You had like an evil cane dude.
I know you had an evil cane.
Yeah, what was your hand gripping?
What type of skull head was it?
It was a skull with an orb dude.
No, it wasn't a skull, it was like a hand with an orb, dude. No, it was a skull with a hand with an orb.
Oh, fuck.
It was an evil hand.
You're an evil wizard.
You're a dark wizard at school.
Dude, I remember I fucking had that came here.
And I crashed my mom's car.
Of course.
I crashed my mom's car.
I'm obviously up to evil mischief.
Me and my friends, we were hanging out out and we're just like, you know,
cruising around on my mom's Dodge neon and it was like wet out.
I think I hydroplanned. I don't know exactly what happened.
I just fucking, I've never been a good driver.
I just fucking careened into like a, like a, like a sea wall next to like the
Hudson River and I just fucked up the front of her car.
And then I went back where it was working at KFC at the time and my manager at KFC was like,
did you ever eat at KFC?
I did eat at KFC.
Prepare the chicken.
Yeah, I said to my goblets.
Oh.
Throw it into the vat to boil the oil.
Give me the chicken caucuses.
I have a newt please.
Oh my God.
Dude.
Oh my God.
So he told me, he was like, it was Mother's Day.
This is Mother's Day, dude.
Senior year of high school.
And he was like, yeah.
He was like, go across the street to shop right and buy your mom flowers while you're
buying her flowers or say, then come out and call the cops and say somebody hit the car
while you were buying your mom flowers.
Right?
So I should get out of here.
So like the cop comes and he doesn't believe me at all.
He's like, he's like the car.
He's like a car hit this.
It was like, yep.
Yes.
Looking to my eyes.
Why were you with the devil?
Why were you with the devil? Why were you with the devil?
Evil Puerto Rican kid.
Dude, so the cops like, why is there mud all around the wheel well around the tire?
I was like, I don't know dude, they must have threw mud at the tire.
It's crazy.
I don't know.
They did that.
He's like, it looks like you drove off the road and hit into a guardrail.
And I was like, no, I didn't do that.
Definitely not.
They were bored anyway, dude.
They let me get away with it.
That's all.
And then I came home and it was me.
It was like me and like two chicks and my buddy and like I hobbled it.
I was like, mom, I crashed a car, dude.
She literally, I mean, I watched run at me, dude, like, like a real devil, dude.
Like it was the craziest.
You remember you ever see,
was that movie that's in silence with a gym from the office?
Yeah.
Quiet place dude.
It was like the quiet place devil.
Dude she came at me and I was like,
I couldn't fucking run fast enough dude.
She started beating me in front of my friends.
And then we all ran and then my mom chased me
and my friends through the streets of West Havish draw.
They left like their book bags in the car
and like the girl left her like varsity
of like letter jacket.
My mom went to a bridge and threw everything off the bridge.
Oh my God.
Yeah.
Where were the flowers?
Oh, she, oh, she started hitting me with the flowers.
That's right.
I was like, I got you flowers.
Ah!
It was nuts.
I mean, it was a neon. It was a Dodge neon. Yeah, you can't fuck that up. That was like, I got you flowers. So it was nuts. I mean, it was a neon.
It was a Dodge neon.
Yeah, you can't fuck that up.
That was a big deal.
Yeah, dude.
Just messing the car up like that.
That was literally the least expensive car
that you could buy new in the world.
Yeah.
At the time, yeah, they were Dodge
Neons were tough cars.
That is a tough car.
They were iconic.
There's not one Dodge neon that's not damaged like that, though.
No, she could drive that around. No, you can't see a Dodge Neon. You can't find a Dodge Neon today. There's not one Dodge Neon that's not damaged like that though. No, she could drive that around.
No, you can't see a Dodge Neon.
You can't find a Dodge Neon today.
That's one color.
You can only find the panels.
Dude, I would love to get to that.
Dude, honestly, I have to buy a second car
because my girl fucking
Ubers everywhere and maybe I'm going to Dodge Neon.
Dude, how sick would that be?
Yeah, bro.
So fucking use 98 Dodge Neon.
Yeah, that would be fucking nice. Ever bopping around in there. That'd that be? Yeah. So fucking used like 98 Dodge Neon. Yeah.
That would be fucking nice.
Ever bopping around in that, it'd be nice.
Yeah.
If you say.
Yeah, she's very pretty, so that'd be really fun.
I have an injury right now.
See a very pretty blonde lady get out of a fucking Dodge Neon.
I missed on the trank.
Fucking missed.
The trank towed my ass up.
What happened?
Shot trank, dude, it's tearing my ass up.
What actually did happen? I just walked into the corner of a bed. Oh my god. Goug happened? Shot trank, dude, just tearing my ass up. What actually did happen?
I just walked into the corner of a bed.
Oh my God.
Gouged my shit.
Seriously, yeah.
It's like two weeks, dude.
That's a tough damn it.
Yeah.
You must have screamed.
You must have had.
I literally put my eye down.
I was like, fuck.
I'm sorry.
Did you yell the N word?
No.
That's my go to.
It really does relieve.
Really?
Relieve the stress of stubbing your toe
Yes, when he put down his black child he screamed at the end word. That's okay. It's not racist. It's about stress relief
Have you ever heard of scream therapy? It's a real thing. Yes, I have they go out in the woods and scream
I like the men's groups where like an older man stands
before you, you have to like push me.
You have to like push him.
He's like, I just saw him.
Push me.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
I'm a man.
Don't stop, boy.
And they cry afterwards.
The guy holds you and you cry in his arms.
And that's the therapy.
I love it.
That's what I need, dude.
Sometimes when I run, I swear this is the gayest thing.
Sometimes if I run, I get into like almost like
a meditative state
and I'm like by myself.
And around the 25 minute mark, I start crying.
Really?
Yeah, you get a runner's love.
You get a fucking...
Yeah, that's good.
I swear to God, sometimes I just get emotional
and just start crying while I'm running.
Really?
It's a bizarre thing.
I don't exactly know what it is.
Some shit their pants, that's not bad.
Some owners just shit themselves. It's better. When you get the runners high, it's kind bizarre thing. I don't know exactly who it is. Some shit their pants, that's not bad. Some owners just shit themselves.
It's better.
You get, when you get the runners high,
it's kind of nuts.
I finally started getting that this year
where you're like, oh, this is what people are talking about.
Where you're just like, feels like you're floating.
Well, you're like 15, 20 minutes into the run.
And you're like, oh, I feel great.
And I want to keep going.
You, first 10 minutes, like I want to stop running.
Yeah, I want to stop.
This sucks.
And then you get to that sweet spot 20 minutes.
I really like running.
Yeah, wow.
It's great.
See, I'm into running, guys.
That's nice.
I'm back in Jiu-Jitsu.
Yeah, you look good.
All right.
You look good.
What's your, what are you working on right now in Jiu-Jitsu?
What's your focus?
I'm just fucking trying to not bang up my knees.
I got too bad knees at knee surgery.
You ever have to just stop?
The people have to just stop.
Do I stop for a year and a half?
Everyone's injured.
Everyone I know does your Jiu-Jitsu
is severely injured.
Yeah, you shouldn't do it.
Yeah.
So even though I can physically defend myself better,
I now physically can't because both of my knees are shot,
my shoulders fucked up, and my neck's all fucked up.
It's a mess.
I don't, yeah, dude, you talked to Rog all fucked up. It's a, I don't,
yeah, dude, you talked to Rogan, Rogan's just like,
I was like, yeah, I gotta go get a spinal reconstruction.
Fuck you.
Replacement surgery.
You're like, all right, dude.
Yeah, I just carry a dagger on me.
Yeah.
Small dagger.
Yeah, I don't fend to them off.
That is funny though, I mean, it's just, it's fun.
I did it for a while, I liked it.
Yeah. But yeah, I couldn't, as soon as I saw everyone just like my next crank and this and
that, I'm like, I don't feel like being old and like, arthritic. Yeah, I don't think there's
any way around it. I think you just accept the fact that you're going to be super injured. When I
started boxing, that was, it was way less on the body. Really? Way less. Yeah, dude. I would rather be punching the head to be honest.
What about Krav Maga?
Juke Roddy?
Yeah.
We all know what team you're on now.
Sorry, dude.
But how does it work?
I don't really know, dude.
I think you fucking.
Is that it?
Is that Krav Maga?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I just pinched.
You can give me your panties.
Now the IDF. PF is a good technique.
I think it's like what you use against like small Palestinian children.
I'm kidding. I'm kidding.
You pinch them.
I'm kidding.
Josh, I'm bringing some light to a very dark situation.
Yeah, man.
That's all we can do.
How to defend yourself against an 11 year old boy. Yeah, that's all we can do. How to defend yourself against an 11 year old boy.
Yeah, that's all we can do.
In this shitty house. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Awesome. First time in 30. I haven't seen the movie since I was a kid. It's a better movie than you remember. Is it really? Terminator's sick, actually.
I started watching that a couple of years ago.
I was always a T2 man.
You T2? Yeah.
Of course. That was like, you know, it's our generation.
I saw T2 in the movies. T1 was.
I haven't seen, I don't think any of them, actually.
I just started watching the original Terminator one time.
Like, dude, this is fucking awesome.
It was such a like really cool, and especially now,
because AI art is taking over it.
Like, dude, I just take you love it.
I'm about to become fucking Skynet, dude.
And it's all going to start with a poster that I make.
It's going to start in Devil Flyers.
Yeah.
What are you going to do with all?
What are you going to do with all the interns at Gas Digital?
They're not flyers.
What can you AI?
I'm trying to just brainstorm with you.
Oh, we can.
We can.
There's AI stuff for podcast production.
You like clips.
There's there's there's a programs right now that will say you say,
all right, you could give the prompt being like,
I want to go viral based off of trending topics right now.
Right. And then they pull 10 clips.
They give you the titles, they give you the hashtags.
They give you everything and it's fucking all perfect.
They do the cutting.
They'll do the zoom in.
They'll do all the you could set specific parameters, specific styles of. So yeah, you guys are fucked. We don't do clips. You guys are all perfect. They do the cutting, they'll do the zoom in, they'll do all the, you could set specific parameters,
specific styles of, so yeah, you guys are fucked.
We don't do clips, you guys are all right.
No one can capture Guard Dog's aesthetic too.
No.
His aesthetic is.
Yeah, but what you could do is you could put in his aesthetic
as an AI prompt.
And then capture this aesthetic.
I think, no offense, I think Guard Dog
could be the easiest AI.
It'd literally be like AI going, yeah, it's, This is that I think no offense. I think God dog could be the easiest AI.
It literally be like AI going, yeah, that's, uh, yeah, that's what I did earlier.
No, I didn't say that.
Machines are rising them.
Are you afraid of that? Are you afraid of the machines one day?
You like becoming so good that they go,
all right, humans are the problem.
Now we need to eliminate them.
Nuclear war fucking claps of the banks.
There's a bigger chance humans just do that to themselves.
Yeah, I'm not worried about that.
It's funny that they're gonna figure out
we're the problem.
It's like, humans haven't figured it out.
Yeah, we've been killing each other the whole time.
Yeah, we're just murdering each other constantly.
So yeah, I don't worry, the machine's upright.
I don't worry about that at all, honestly.
Like they're gonna uprise and just wipe us out.
It's like, no.
That's some like Y2K.
You remember in the year 2000, they were like,
dude, midnight it's gonna hit,
everything's gonna blow up.
And we all kind of bought it.
I bought it a little bit.
I was a little bit nervous.
I was young.
When Y2K, yeah, I was pretty young.
Sixth grade?
Yeah, I was eight.
I remember Y2K came around, I was just kind of like. I was 12th grade. I don't have any fucking money. I was like, I was pretty young. Sixth grade. Yeah. I remember watching K came around. I was just kind of like 12th grade. I don't have any fucking money.
I was like, I have a drawer that I have a couple of those.
I looked into the orb on my evil game.
We're going to be fine.
Yeah. And he's any major thing.
Oh, it was nice collapse.
Yeah. That was decent's it didn't affect me
Told you I was a realtor the house the housing bubble. I was a real tool people say that housing bubble
I shake my head every time. I have no idea what that means. Yeah. I
Yeah, I guess the prices just get too high and then everyone goes no, thank you and then they all just drop down
Is that gonna happen soon?
They say but it is.
So the problem is housing bubbles are there's not like a national housing bubble.
Every city is different.
So it'll happen in certain markets and the other markets will go up.
It's like, there's going to be a blanket housing bubble.
It's not going to happen.
But it did.
That was a subprime mortgage crisis.
All those more.
There was people who had all those mortgages.
Oh, yeah.
Ford and they got four closed on and blah, blah, blah.
They're not doing that again.
But they were still, even during 08,
there were still housing markets ever still going up.
Aren't they doing that right now again?
I don't think so, no.
Okay, good.
No, they're not doing that right now.
They better not be.
No, that was like a speculative thing
they were selling to people.
But no, now the interest rate's about to drop.
I'll give you guys the full financial rate.
Yeah, how do you know all this?
So we're going to buy a house.
Oh yeah.
So the interest rate's about to drop right now. Tell me when. This is what I do with my guys the full financial. Yeah, how do you know all this? So we're gonna buy a house. Oh, yeah So the interest rates about the drop right now. Tell me when this would do my friends who buy crypto. I'm like just text
Crypto I waited till it was at its peak and I was like
I did the same exact thing I lost like 15k and I was telling my buddy about it
He's like and I was like, dude, it's I'm losing it all. He's like now you gotta buy more
K and I was telling my buddy about it and I was like, dude, it's I'm losing it all.
He's like, now you got to buy more.
Now it's low.
Yeah.
Now is the time.
There's still crypto guys out there being like, it's going to hit 250 K.
My, my friend, my good friend of mine, his name is Wes, obviously.
It's he's a crypto bro.
He like sold off his businesses, like he's any place with like high, high numbers.
And I just told him, I was like, dude, I don't know what the fuck.
I was like, yeah, just you make a lot of money doing this.
Just tell me when.
And two days ago, he texted me being like,
buy Bitcoin and buy Solano right now.
Solano?
Yeah, he says Solano is gonna get really volatile.
He's like sell it out.
He's like, I'm gonna tell you when to sell it off.
He's like, it's gonna be a few months this summer.
He's like, but it should do four to five times in revenue.
And I'm like, what really dude?
And he's Jewish and he's rich.
He's got a boat.
I'm like, come on dude, please don't fuck me, dude. Damn, I'm fuck myself. I know I am probably not yet, but I'm I'm about to nothing crazy
But I'm about to put a few thousand and just because I'm a big Ethereum man myself
Yeah, but apparently theorems
Yeah, I found out
Lost everything. Yeah, I actually I told you I bought it was like $100 worth when it was $6,000 bucks.
Bitcoin?
Yeah.
And then I just was like, I'm done with this thing.
I got rid of my Robinhood app, all that stuff.
And then it shot up to like $60,000 bucks.
And I was like, and you just opened it one day and we're like, well, I saw it.
And I was like, whatever, what am I gonna do?
Because then you can't rep the thing is even if it happens once, your chances of replicating
that success.
Oh, you sold it and didn't make it. Sold it. I made like a hundred bucks. I got it
But the thing is when you do that then you like all right cool. You made
$50,000 in Bitcoin money. It's like all right do it again
It's like you're gonna double down chances are you're gonna fucking lose the second time. Yeah, that's the problem with it
It's too speculative. You know what you should do? Focus on podcasting, hard work, more podcasts, grinding, more posters.
Yeah, posters are working.
This is it. The depraved sold out.
Invest in the posters.
He was all that.
The poster.
People saw that poster said, holy fuck, the devil is going to do stand up.
Tonight's going to be evil.
How evil was the show?
It's pretty evil, dude.
This is pretty normal.
Regular evil.
Dude, it was an evil show that appraved as a great concept.
The mayor was evil.
Did you do your most fucked up joke to start?
Yeah.
Yeah, I did my most fucked up joke.
It was about Epstein Island.
Nice.
How'd it go?
It was pretty good. It was okay.
You sounded like you had a really nice set.
I had a fun time.
No, everyone killed dude. People fucking should have been there. Tear it up, dude had a really nice set. I had a fun time. No
Ripping yeah, the idea of the show you have to start with your much fucked up joke and then dig yourself out of a hole That's the idea. Nice. It's my solid like a grave hole like a grave dude kind of like a great
It's gonna be the spookiest show you've ever fucking seen
People had to leave they were too scared
You've ever fucking seen. People had to leave.
They were too scared.
Were they really?
Dude, I saw a lady at the Creaking Cave for real, like, get pissed off and, like, smash
a glass.
It wasn't during my set.
I was, like, walking in.
And I was, like, I'm coming in.
I hear it just, like, boom.
I thought a waitress dropped something.
I think it was Brian Holtzman.
Holtzman's been killing people.
He was screaming.
His whole Instagram is, have you watched his Instagram?
No.
It's great. It's just he films people leaving the show. Yeah. He has his opener outside, film people
leave the show and he's like, why are you leaving? And every single person's like, that was fucking
racist and sexist. That guy sucks. I'm out. A lady. He posted. She just cleared like a tray of empty
glasses and went and then walked out of the creaking cave and I was like, Oh, shit. That's crazy.
Everyone's like, looked at her like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty nice.
It's a wild way to handle a joke you don't like.
Yeah.
Just breaking people's property.
He fucked up.
Should have tackled her.
She's a spirit.
She should have protected her small business.
She should have went outside and shot a guy.
She went outside and shot a guy.
Yes.
Thank God the small businesses are safe now. Thanks for a few page. I'm a big killback girl. She was outside and shot a guy. Yes.
Thank God the small businesses are safe now.
Thanks for a few pages.
Those are a few pages that protected them and saved us.
Thank God I was so scared for them.
Remember that when all the small businesses were getting blown up?
When?
Like last summer.
Small businesses were being blown up?
Yeah.
Why?
People were pissed.
Throwing shit through the windows and shit, what do you mean?
What did this happen?
Never mind.
We're just talking about old crap.
Countries moved on.
Yeah.
We have truly moved on.
This country has fully moved on, which is nice.
Yes.
I missed the pandemic.
Huh?
I missed the pandemic.
Do you really?
Yeah.
Because I was like one of the only people not playing by the rules.
Like, yeah.
Oh, you were out buzzing around.
Yeah, I was trying to fucking touch
as many people as possible.
Like, I was hooking up.
I was single for a lot of the pandemic.
Yeah, what was that like?
I'm curious about that.
Nobody was trying to hook up.
So it was like, girls were like, really?
You're down?
I was like, yeah, come on, let's go.
We can fucking, we get a bus to ourself today.
Take the mega bus.
It's gonna be awesome.
But were there dudes that were like scared of pussy during the pandemic?
I think so. Yeah.
Yeah.
I think there's a lot of people.
It was almost there was a lot of shaming going on.
So if you were going out and you were like part of like the normal New Yorker
L.A. crowd, people like to fucks wrong with you.
Why are you staying home?
That was a real thing.
Yeah. If you did a show, people would like post it.
Yeah, that's how lame.
And be like, look at this fucking asshole.
Yeah.
That's lame as fuck.
Like, dude, I got a fucking throbber.
I have a boner.
You don't need someone to do it.
I got to stop jacking off my parents' house.
Like a kiss a girl.
Yeah.
That must have been cool.
That must have been exciting.
Yeah.
So it was like, STDs weren't even a consideration.
It was just like, as long as long we don't get to kill?
No, we could die.
Yeah, we're all booked out to die.
Who cares about the world's CD?
Did you get real sick with the COVID?
I didn't think so.
And then I remembered that I was,
I was deathly ill at the Legion of Skanks,
New Year's Eve 2019 party that we threw at the comedy store.
And there was like 500 people there that,
I mean, we're all smoking blunts and hugging
and fucking it was just, yeah.
Like, and I was, I mean, I was like,
ah, I've never been this shit.
I can't smell anything.
I can't taste everything.
Remember six months later, I was like,
I don't think I got COVID.
And everyone was like, dude,
you don't remember that you literally started COVID.
You had COVID.
I knew years.
Yeah, if you don't want COVID, avoid any legion of skanks.
Oh, yeah, it's still.
Anything.
It's literally people sharing blunt spitting.
Yeah, dude.
Skankfest is genuine.
You're going to get some type of hellish sickness.
It's a petri dish of just disease.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There's actually, there's, that is the thing where people come back and they're like,
I think I got that skanksfest COVID.
People always say like, I got like skankfest COVID.
You guys are going to invent a new, something's actually there's a thing where people come back. I think I got that skanks fast COVID
You guys are gonna invent a new something's coming out of the new strain. It's not wet market. It is a real wet market It's all evil KFC employees gather
Evil KFC employees gather and are like we should do acid and spit on each other and piss
on each other and piss.
Oh, I fucking threw up on girl.
Oh, my girlfriend passed out again. It is.
It's just people passing out.
He will die by his employees.
His God gave him see employees festival.
You get to watch like podcasters box.
It makes no sense.
It rules. It does. It rules. It rules it sense. It rules.
It does.
It does.
It rules.
I love it.
Wow, the impressive.
Oh, it's so stupid.
It's so.
But if you really on, if you look at some of it, you're like,
what the fuck is happening here?
It's fucking sick.
I'm nervous about this year because I feel like it's gotten
a lot like this past year was so big, like the amount of people talking about it.
Yeah, I'm nervous now that it's not gonna be as many skanks
that are at Skankfest and there's gonna be a bunch
of normal people there this year
that don't know what they're fucking in for.
They're gonna be scared off.
They're gonna be fucking.
They're gonna be scared off very quickly.
Cause we have like a lot of mainstream comics
and all of our friends have become famous
and mainstream at this point, you know what I'm saying?
So it's like, like, yeah, dude, like we're, uh, well, we'll see what happens,
but I think there's going to be a lot more like normal, like hot checks and
they're going to be like, what is fucking happen?
I'm a love it.
They'll just move in and get out of my way.
Gas station lady.
You got me here.
The gas station ladies are going to be so sad.
The gas is coming through.
The gas station ladies were cleaning up. Oh yeah oh yeah dude gasation ladies go there
and get plowed but every single dude loves the gas station it's fucking
10 to one got KFC dudes 10 to one against gas station ladies everyone's
drinking soda smoke cigarettes or drink soda anymore except for its game Drinking soda. Everyone's just on acid. You don't know anybody who smokes cigarettes
or drinks soda anymore except for its gangfests.
Everyone's just drinking a soda.
Fuck it.
You guys are building up to,
it's like every festival has to build up to
like a tremendous casualty.
So you guys are like,
maybe it will be a Woodstock 99 thing, do you think?
You think it'll be like a Travis Scott trample?
Maybe, well we had, we were in Houston during Astro World.
Stankfest was the same time.
I was right, because people, I remember I flew back with a guy.
He was all Astro Worlded out and he was just like,
you don't understand man, if you weren't there,
you don't understand what happened.
He was like fighting with his friends on his side.
I'm like, you guys charged him.
You trampled the children.
You trampled a child to get 20 feet closer to Drake.
You psycho.
Speaking of Drizzy.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, you see Drizzy's unit.
I didn't see his unit.
Oh, I didn't see it.
I heard about this one.
Was that one of your AI flyers?
Can we please see it?
It's a decent penis.
I'm sure it's great, dude.
La Mer wasn't impressed.
La Mer said it was a long skinny.
I saw it.
I said that was a good dog.
He did have the proper angle. He used like... Was he beating off? He was a long skinny. I saw it. I said that was a good over he did have the proper angle
He's like was he beating off? Yeah, he was kind of flopping it a little did he have a little mayor?
Did you have it take me to your leader? What do you mean skinny probe? Yeah?
Yeah, he has a skinny probe, but he had he had the perfect angle
He had like the hunters photo where you put it in front of the camera. I mean you hold up the animal
Oh, you get like every bit of length. Yeah like hold up a fish.
Yeah.
And there was a bit of a bass grab there too.
Oh he was pushing the bottom.
You obviously bro, you know you need a bass grab in a photo.
Come on dude, I'm just saying.
You got it?
Yeah, I see what's going on with Drake's heels.
Dude, I put my dick next to a replica of the Twin Towers
to make it look bigger
When I send it to girls
Yes, nice, it's awesome. It's a nice penis. Let me say I
Didn't realize I'm gonna see him jerking off. You already have those appalls like it. I was like give him a fap Oh, he's gonna fatty shut the fuck up. That's how I felt a big long Wang. He's 60% hard first
Yeah, that's that's not even blue chew Wang. He's 60% hard first. Yeah
That's that's not even blue chewed out dude. He's fucking he's flopping it
Yeah, I did in order to fucking my deck is that big
That hard it's I'd have to use one finger to flop it like this come and get it
No, you don't think he's got a hogger I
Gotta see your honker if you're talking like this. No, no, no, he's so
You know he's gonna grab the headphones. I thought you're thrilled about the police pants
Also, Drake's big guy is a big guy. I think he's tall. He's a big guy. Thanks. Oh, he's not a little little tiny hopper. Yeah
massive He's not a little little tiny Humber. Yeah. The massive honk Kind of like Drake in a weird way. I fucking love Drake. He's got great songs. Yeah. Yeah fucking coolest shit
You fucking what's you got the problem is the evolution what's the evolution gonna be bro? He's been evolving sure He has 15 years. He has been but dude. He was fucking he was a gay kid on a
Canadian TV show he was handicapped. Yeah, was he handicapped in the show? After he got school shot.
He got school shot?
Oh yeah, that's what happened.
He got school shot and became handicapped.
They were ahead of school, that was like.
It was a long line, yeah.
It was a long line.
It was a Canada.
If they don't really have that problem in Canada.
No, I'm not hating on the guy.
I'm saying the evolution, what's the next phase gonna be?
What if those rappers hit their 40s,
they typically go into like spirituality,
black Israelite stuff. The question's gonna be like Jay-Z's now
Like billionaire husband like what's the evolution gonna be or is gonna be messed up?
Oh, it's gonna be fucking good be an old playboy an old boy playboy. Yeah, I think he's gonna be cool
These he made like a dance a house music CD
That's who will probably
See like Snoop Dogg now you're like, what are you doing? Yeah, we hang it up Martha Stewart
You're supposed to be Snoop. Yeah. Well Martha Stewart's a fucking convict though. Yeah, I know but she's comic music
But I'm always curious I like to follow rappers into the 40s and see what they do and it's always kind of interesting
Like I'm trying to think of like
It's always kind of interesting. Like I'm trying to think of like M had a rough one.
And he's beefing with Benzino still.
Trump dog got him.
What did Trump dogs do?
No, and Eminem made like a cypher.
Yeah.
He's like, should I pour this hot coffee pot on Donald Trump's head?
God damn it, dude.
He looks weird, too.
Eminem like what?
I don't know.
White guys with money.
They do this thing where it's like he looks almost like rubber.
You know, actually speak.
He looks like the one the Terminator had the fake face where he was in the mirror,
cutting his eye out, but you can tell it's a rubber mask.
That's what Eminem looks like now.
Yeah, he's got a very dark beard.
Yeah, dark beard, dark.
Now he's just martial though.
Yeah. So he doesn't call himself Eminem anymore.
That's a slim shape. No, but I'm saying he's full of martial though. He has like dark hair, beard. He's just getting beefs Yeah, so he doesn't call himself M&M anymore. It's not slim shape No, but I'm saying he's full washable. He has like dark hair beard
He's just getting beefs of Benzino about he's still getting Benzina the other beefing right currently beefing
Benzino's daughter is like now getting in the mix and she did a song with Busta Rhymes or she was dressed kind of provocatively
There's I could go into rap beef. Let me hear it. I love rap
I do wrap all it constantly I went on a fucking real journey of rap beef for a long time because I love the beef tracks
I just do not work out to beef tracks. That's that's kind of nice
And I don't take a side. I'll listen to one beat track. I'm just pumped. Yeah. Yeah. It rules dude fucking
Apparently
Benzino said something about him on a podcast or something and now they're fighting
He's just he just calls him probably called him like a culture vulture
That's a big that's that's the thing white guys deal with a rap Tom McDonald's getting fucked right now
Tom McDonald put out the number one billboard hit that one billboard hit with Ben Shapiro
I'm fucking people are furious at him because they're like dude
That's racist to say that all other rap is turning people's kids into thugs and strippers and
You know, it's like well well, obviously not all the rap
does that, but you could point to a lot of rap. I think Buck Cherry had a lot to do with women
turning into strippers. You know, I don't think that was as much rap. It is funny though to be like
act as if they don't know like there are trending rap artists that are for sure a terrible influence.
Yeah. You can say that's not a racist thing to say. But it's also like you're nobody's a terrible
influence. You got to be a good parent
Exactly. So no, but I don't give a fuck my son could watch any movie listen any rap
I'm not worried about him becoming a piece of shit because I'm raising him right
Yeah, and he gets to watch this as you know, you know a little treat. It's provocative. You get to watch this
I want people going I let him watch I sort of let him watch South Park recently. Awesome. His mom hates it
But I'm like, it's just,
he's a good kid.
He's not going to repeat this stuff.
He knows what's wrong.
He understands it's provocative and it's wrong to say.
That's why it's funny.
Yeah.
Yeah.
South Park has kind of like an underlying moral though.
There's a new NBA.
Sometimes not good.
It was like a 10-seat difference.
There's older ones.
There's older ones.
Don't underline moral anything, dude.
Dude, the new NBA More than anything, dude.
The new NBA Young Boy video is you.
I also follow a lot is just them reenacting like street murders.
It's pulling up on ATVs and like visibly like graphically
shooting people in cars.
It's fucking insane.
Yeah.
Well, there's like a whole thing where like there are
rappers regularly murdering each other.
Like in the underground.
Yeah.
It's a real thing.
It's like they start like they get a song that trends
on like reels, you're murdered the next week.
Terrible.
So that's the weird and like, dude, that stuff,
people do like that stuff.
But it's like, yeah, you're right though.
But if you like, you kind of like watch it,
the same way you go to World Star,
nobody's going there and being like, oh, I want to be that.
I think people are.
Oh yeah, they for sure are.
But here's, but you're right though. It's like, if you I want to be that. I think people are. Oh, yeah. They for sure. But here's the. That's yeah.
But you're right though.
It's like if your kid is if you're if there's nothing between your kid and the
internet, that's your that's the parents problem.
Did you hear about the kid who shot up the school recently and they were going
to convict the mom now?
Maybe the mom and the dad now are going to be faced with charges.
And now they started leaking the fact that the mom was like going to sex parties.
I don't know why they were like you should should have got your kid mental help, like help
mentally instead of fucking the few cheating on her husband with a fire
marshal and they were like setting up in hotel rooms and having like sex parties.
But it's just all coming out.
It was it.
It was like, I don't know, somewhere like the Midwest or something.
Yeah, it could have been Milwaukee's going wild.
You think it's Milwaukee's going wild?
Let me, what did you do?
But yeah, dude, it's like they're like now trying to prosecute this mother.
Yeah. And they're like, did you know she was cheating on her husband too?
And it's like, what's the angle for prosecuting them though?
Was it was it because they gave this kid a gun?
Access. Dad gave him a gun, but they locked it with like a zip tie or something like
or like one of those chain combination things.
And they're like, we didn't think you knew the combination.
He just took the gun to school.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
The lady was like, I was against the gun purchase.
And then they were like, you were cheating on your husband.
Yeah, whatever.
You were a slut.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It's also that's not like much of a deterrent.
You know what I mean?
If they're like, we're going to start prosecuting parents of school shooters.
Yeah. It's like, I'm pretty sure every parent're going to start prosecuting parents of school shooters. Yeah.
It's like, I'm pretty sure every parent's like, please don't be a
school shooter.
I exactly.
You know, every school shooter is like, sweet.
My parents are going down for this.
I hated them also.
That's a nice threat too, as a kid.
Yeah, like I'll shoot up my school.
Yeah, if they're like, it's bedtime, you go, is it?
Cause I'll get your gun and shoot everyone.
I'm staying up to watch Monday Night Raw.
Mom, I know you're a slut.
If I shoot anybody, your ass is going to jail.
Yeah.
Everyone's going to find out about what you did.
Everyone's going to know.
Can I sleep over Jason's house tonight?
Be like, photos, parents.
You guys are shooting up at school?
With a kid, though, you almost like they are fucking kids.
And I there's a responsibility to do it.
If your kids shooting up a fucking school, I will say you did something wrong.
Yeah. Maybe not criminal, but like maybe you should look at what the fuck was going on.
You failed in one way or another.
Maybe overmedicated the fuck out of the kid.
Maybe maybe the kid.
Tempting, dude. It's tempting, man, because every like you could cut so many corners,
parenting now you can have iPad meds.
You can fully like, yeah, just bottle your kid down.
Yeah. Well, it's easier.
Like people, you see it happen all the time.
There's in a restaurant and they just give the kid an iPad
and the kid is completely disconnected.
Oh, I'm doing that.
I'm doing that.
They shut down so hard.
They would do they'd be on. would do, they'd be honest.
They're making, they'd be honest.
Future like autistic.
Like I think like it's like learned autism.
You're gonna have people that have trouble making eye contact,
shaking hands, fucking like doing any of that stuff
because their entire communication is all built in this.
I'll be honest.
I could do without both those anyway.
Eye contact sucks and so does shaking.
Eye contact is.
You gotta look for your reflection in someone's eyes so that you scare them
Dude, did I say that to you? Do you see me?
Look for your reflection in their eyes speak slowly
And then when you make contact with another man for more than one second
It's like what do you do if you bring up eye contact and then talk about it's very uncomfortable. Oh yeah, it will be. It's made me hate it dude.
Now there's some podcast on the spectrum dude.
Podcasts on the spectrum.
Should we hold hands?
Yeah, I'd like that.
Dude, I can't wait to start watching that show.
The show's incredible.
I can't wait.
It's great.
I didn't know what it was.
It's exactly what I thought it was.
Like I was like.
You talk about crying running, I cry watching that show. You watch, you cry watching. It's so. I didn't know what it was. It's exactly what I thought it was. Like, yeah.
Do you talk about crying running?
I cry watching that show.
You cry watching.
It's so nice.
Love on the spectrum.
Yes.
It shows when the parents are relieved.
Like when the moms, like I never thought
she'd find love.
They'd find anyone.
Like they go, the one boyfriend takes the girl to Africa.
She loves lions.
So they go see the lions.
And then the moms like, I never thought there'd be a day
where she didn't say I need you and this is great.
It was really fucking beautiful.
And he's really sweet.
That's a beautiful girl.
The show is a tearjerker.
It's a tearjerker.
They're also innocent, they're angels, dude.
They're sweet angels.
They are absolute angels.
And they walk around.
Dude, James hitting the fucking,
that Instagram video about releasing sexually.
He put out an Instagram video of him just like, uh, I I heard that sometimes
The the pressure is so intense sexually that you need to just release it or you can't think about anything else
Is anybody else experiencing this?
Every anything else. Is anybody else experiencing this? Every morning of my life.
It's literally verbatim.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
I said that exact speech to my girlfriend two days ago, which
wouldn't fuck me.
I was like, you're gonna know I have to release.
Yeah.
I'm gonna be a bad mood all day.
Yeah.
It's the only thing I can think about.
Sexually release.
There he is.
Women just don't care.
They don't care about the release.
They don't understand it.
They like to hold it on me too.
They like to go, you don't,
Mary, you better start making me release.
True.
I've been in here begging Limerick to release me.
He won't, he won't bring that voluptuous ass over to me.
Let me use you.
They have zero frame of reference.
If you stay here, I get free use.
True.
When you're playing video games, you gotta lay on on your stomach so I can come in and get behind you
Yo, come on man. Let me just not that big of a deal. Yeah, I bet you were mayor
I bet you were mayor's ass from behind is pretty nice bear just laying but
He's prone
Dude get like a sniffing get Brazilian waxes too.
Have them like hairless, dude.
I am going to make you hairless.
You have to wear women's shoes.
It's like, I can see it.
If I hear the clop of those high heels coming in here.
You started pimping his ass out.
Oh, yeah.
I started pimping.
Anytime somebody comes and visits, I go, there's a little treat out there. There's a. Oh yeah. Any, anytime somebody comes and visits, I go,
there's a little treat out there.
There's a sweet morsel.
It'll be Shane Steen's Island, dude.
That is my temple.
I should have them.
I could paint it.
I could get the red and white or the blue and white stripes.
That's the temple.
There's a comedy millionaire pimping out 35 year old black.
That can't be a crime. No way. I told you as long as you're not tricking them, man,
trafficking is when you trick or intimidate.
That would have felt like a trick though.
I was like, come down here, it's good comedy.
Next thing you know, Simon Rex is going deep in your ass.
You're just selling them to all your famous friends. Next thing you know, Simon Rex is going deep in your ass.
You just sell him to all your famous friends. Simon Rex is plowing limers.
This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.
A common misconception about relationships is that they have to be easy to be quote right.
But sometimes the best ones happen when both people put in the work to make them great.
Yeah.
Therapy can be great to work through the challenges you face in all of your relationships, whether
with friends, work, you're sniffing another or anyone.
Going to therapy with your friend would be sick.
You and me could use some couples counseling.
We should use some couples counseling.
That's what you just did to me.
We're going to talk.
God forbid I won one game. We're going to going to talk. God forbid I won one game.
We're going to talk about it.
God forbid I won.
Oh, God forbid.
Dude, I have one thing and you have to take it.
They're reading.
By the way, they read your body posture
and couples counseling.
If you're not sitting close together, they're like,
I know that you're not sitting close together.
I say, yes.
He stinks.
He fucking kicked me in the head.
He farted and he stinks.
He kicked me in the head.
We tried to bring it up to his low kick strategy,
it was just a fluke.
I was ducking a punch.
You don't duck, your leg kicks had nothing to do with it.
God, see what I'm up against?
You know, I mean, that's what I would say to the therapist.
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Lemair Lee's gonna be a Cap City, and March 19th,
and I'm sure some other people will stop by too,
it's gonna be a who's who of comedians,
and then you get to watch Lemair stretch his tiny ass.
You get to watch Lemair stretch that gaping hole
at Cap City, ass city.
It's a meet and pound, it's gonna be a meet and pound afterwards hole at cap city ass city. It's a meeting. Pound is gonna be a meeting pound.
That's right.
City comedy club.
There's gonna be a meet and greet where you get to meet
LaMairs cock.
All right.
Dude, Simon stayed here the last few days.
That guy can fart dude.
Simon Rex.
Oh yeah, I can put that out there. guy can unleash farce dude. I've never I didn't think I could meet my match really he destroys
Why talking 15 second farce? He can hold it
He did that the other day like just look to me like oh
Yeah, nothing better than fart with your boys. Yeah complete bro. I hate it. I get so mad you man
I was like yesterday
That's crazy talk. Well if it's loud it's funny. Yeah it smells, that's a problem. If you can enter me with your shirt article.
True.
True.
It just feels so invasive.
It feels like rape.
Is this the way a rape victim feels?
I assume that if a woman is raped,
she feels exactly like I feel if a man farts in my presence.
Yes, you've experienced the same trauma.
And I can smell and taste it.
I feel like a viz.
The Ocon man can hit some nasty ones.
You were hitting them out of the park yesterday. I didn't really, I couldn't I couldn't smell you were farting in the car until I got to my car
I mean we got to yeah, you were hitting some nasty ones. I was farting in a restaurant at the restaurant
Didn't even know I'm in a car is just fucking I was farting like a dog though. I got thrilled didn't know
I didn't know it's a little restaurant. Oh, remember that guy's dick on the right home to
I didn't know it's a restaurant. Oh, remember that guy's dick on the ride home, dude
Through this guy was it's like maybe 70 60 year old guy was outside to like jog I guess like spandex shorts with just like a fucking bullfrog dude in his pants
And it was and he kept like you know when people in girls wear like short shorts and they tug down on stuff
Yeah, he kept like trying to adjust himself and it was like yeah, I think you were you hit the nail on the head there
He was clearly he's like damn, I didn't know
my dick was gonna be out this much. Yep. These shorts are intense. He was wearing. Yeah,
he's wearing compression shorts. Dude, it was long was out. If I were
in pressure, I rolled the window down. I said, Hey, my dick into a pussy. Like, there's no
bulge. Compress dude. When I wear sheaths, it literally looks like I have Barbie's private
parts, like just a flat, like a, like a tiny indentation of a slit.
It creates a slit for some reason.
I don't know how.
I have no fucking dick.
It sucks.
That's all right.
That's why you were an evil man.
You said God cursed me.
Yeah, dude, I remember one time,
so I got kicked out of Equinox.
I'm banned for life.
Why?
There's, he's been kicked out dozens of times. No, not from Equinox. I'm banned for life. Why? There's, he's been kicked out dozens of times.
No, not from Equinox.
I was, I worked at Equinox for years.
I weighed the Equinox flag.
I love that place, dude.
And I got into an argument.
They kicked you out in the steam room, right?
Yeah.
I got into an argument with three dudes in the steam room
because they were talking too loud.
And it was my place of peace.
And ironically it turned into a, just me screaming
in the Equinox locker room.
Just in the mist. Through the mist. Don't say in the mist around me screaming. Just in the mess.
Through the mess.
Don't say in the midst of round the mirror.
That's fucked up.
Come on, doggy.
I got it.
No, it was that I was out afterwards, but then I had to go to Lifetime Fitness,
which is still a nice gym, but it's a step down from Equinox.
And maybe my third day at lifetime fitness.
I'm in the steam room and some dude just goes.
In the steam room.
In the fucking hot steam room dude.
And I just got kicked out of equinox so I couldn't like I was like I can't make this another fucking thing dude.
But it was the I mean it was unbelievable.
It was the craziest thing I had ever experienced in my entire life.
I never even thought of that farting in a steam room
The steam just
Next time next time we hit the sauna with Rogues got a fart hit a fart he might kill you
For dude, no you should go in who is
What do they call it, the tank refoat?
They're just two water forts.
That might come back to haunt you though.
That salt could enter.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Farting in the sauna would be...
It's as funny as it gets.
It'd be so loud.
That's crazy somebody did that.
Oh yeah, and that fuck, it's like a pew.
Literally a circular pew. A pew, fuck yes dude. It would bounce for a pew. And that fuck it's like a pew. Literally a circular pew.
A pure fuck.
Yes, dude.
It would bounce for.
It's a joke.
It would bounce.
My mom would say Pew.
It's very funny.
She wouldn't say P you.
If you fart around my mom, she'd go, Oh, pew.
And then I would do that.
That anytime she would go to bed.
I would be there to go, mom, pew.
She would go, oh, yours are worse. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Quiet about it. They sneak off. They slink off. Yeah, they're like dying dogs
Speaking of IP table true my cat died
Tibble it's gone now. You got a cat here I had a cat in my parents house and they were waiting to kill that motherfucker
All they all it took was he didn't eat for three days and they're like I would take for the best
He was tearing that house up. He was fucking them up. Yeah, he was
He was tearing that house up. He was fucking them up. Yeah, he was He had a terrible asshole. My cat had a fucked up ass and any time he took a shit a turd would stay
And he would just walk around the house. There was always a turd. He was ready to go
He was time to go. I wish he got him. I wish he had gotten one more summer. I think he was probably like 10
Yes, how old do cats live for? They're fucking old. Are they really they can get old? I thought he was going to outlive my parents. Really? I thought
he was going to ruin their lives for the rest of their lives. We used to have
kind of nice for them that we have the suburbs like just trashy like we've
had like just like cats. Yeah. We just we find a cat under a porch. We find
like brand new kittens. Let's take them. Yeah take these kittens from their mom. Yeah, cats ruled.
Before they were ready.
And then we ended up having so many cats.
It wasn't like we were like a cat house.
We always have like three or four cats, right?
Yeah.
And then it's a cat house.
It's 100% cat house.
It's a lot.
Four gatos?
Yeah, yeah.
Four gatos.
So my one cat.
What are the two?
My one cat, Miss Kitty, she started.
We just let her like, we never fixed anything. You're an evil KFC worker with a cat, Miss Kitty, she started, we just let her like,
we never fixed any of these cats.
You're an evil KFC worker with a cat named Miss Kitty.
Yes, Miss Kitty.
But she would start fucking her babies.
Like the cats would grow up.
And remember she had a litter with one of her children.
Whoa.
And those babies came out.
I mean, talking about on the spectrum.
I mean, talking to these cats were cross-eyed.
Their feet were backwards.
What'd you do with them?
She ate them.
It was crazy.
Oh, no, Miss Kitty ate them.
Miss Kitty was like, this is gonna happen.
Miss Kitty ate them all.
She had a cat.
That's a cat abortion.
Yeah, dude.
Holy shit.
That's terrible.
They were evil with the fucking.
Yeah, you should have said,
Hey, I can't do hands.
Yeah. You can't speed and man. I can't do hands.
I can't speed and pause.
We're all fucked up.
Fuck.
Man, your mom was probably scared.
It's very in a Hispanic house.
I'd be crazy.
My mom was white.
My mom was white.
Oh, you're the honky-mum?
My mom, I'm half Puerto Rican, half Italian Irish.
Oh, nice.
Nice.
Yeah.
Funny side.
Yeah.
True. Yeah, the tibble was a good guy. Yeah. True. True. Yeah, the, Tybalt was a good guy.
I'm sad about it.
Not as sad as I thought I'd be.
Yeah.
Named after the Romeo and Juliet character.
Yes.
Nice.
The Prince of Cats.
Yeah, it was time for him, man.
He needed the Prince of Cats.
Yeah, my parents were going through hell.
My mom hated that fucking cat.
Yeah, it was...
He would bite her.
Scratchin' up furniture.
He destroyed the entire, every single day he ruined their house. It's like literally you just, you have a that fucking cat. Yeah, it was. He would bite her. Scratching up furniture. He destroyed the entire, every single day
he ruined their house.
It's like literally you just,
you have a couch and the couch goes,
something's gonna just fucking.
Ruins everything.
He was shitting and pissing everywhere.
My parents' house stinks.
And they were, I bought my, I got my mom a pool
and she kept being like, we gotta get rid of the cat.
I was like, I will literally fill the pool with concrete
if you touch that fucking cat. Did she thought the cat was gonna was like, I will literally fill the pool with concrete. If you touch that fucking cat.
She was, she thought the cat was gonna drown or something.
Like, no, no, she was trying to kill the cat.
Oh, I thought you were saying she was worried the cat was on like fuck with the water.
No, no, no, no, I was threatening to, if they harmed Sweet Tibble.
Is erect a humongous monument to Tibble?
Tibble in the concrete.
Yeah, actually, I should. That's a good idea.
Do you like a two inch fountain with like a huge
volume at the table?
Like, well, now your pool is a skate park for my Philly friends.
Oh, God, get these in there.
Dropping in just fucking having Bambor chair and hanging out in your pool.
I want my Phil's house.
I don't know how Bamb's.
How do you become friends with Bamb?
I feel like that's in the trajectory of your life.
I would like that to happen.
Yeah.
That'd be fun.
I could just see BAM literally living on this couch
at one point.
That would be chill.
It'd be super chill to have BAM.
And BAM would get free use on Lameezy.
For sure.
Yeah, I'm about to wake up LaMair.
Fuck LaMair's ace.
So bad.
Is he like in rehab now or something?
I know he was doing the floor to shuffle.
That's what it was called.
Is that what they call it?
Yeah, they were moving around from different rehab places.
Yeah.
Take a look at him like 19 days sober or something like that.
That's pretty good.
When you hear somebody like that, you're like, if you brag about 19 days,
you're like, damn, dude, good for you.
Yeah.
You really count in the hours at that point. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that's tough.
It's got to be tough for him, though, because it's like, you
know, it's one thing to get sober.
But if you've like dropped, descended from like uber fame,
and then you like get sober, it's like a tough adjustment.
The hell you have to.
I guess he has enough money.
I think he does, dude.
You think so?
You think he's still got a lot of cash?
Yeah, dude. He had a ton of money.
I don't know how he's doing.
Yeah, but I mean, if you're not working,
like there's not like a lot of residuals
from Jackass at this point.
I mean, I think there are.
You think so?
That much?
Where he can fucking be staying a fucking...
Those movies, yeah, those movies were global.
I guess I'm sure I do get a $17 check
from the Jim Gaffigan show once every three months.
Do you?
Hell yeah. From one episode of the Jim Gaffigan show.
And he has residuals on all Viva LaBam.
Yeah.
But you can also burn a lot of money doing drugs and stuff.
You burn a ton of money buying houses and fucking doing drugs and like,
I'm just, I don't know if the residuals from Viva LaBam would keep him rich.
He's probably straight though.
I think he was richer than you would imagine.
Yeah.
No, I don't, I didn't was richer than you would have imagined. Yeah
No, I know I don't I didn't even realize that money was a thing. Hey, I was get on this
Yeah in life like I had no idea like up until four years ago
I thought the max you could make was $2,000 a weekend as a comic. Yes from big J from opening for big J
I was like dude imagine two thousand a weekend that'd be wild
Yeah
And then I then I found out the reality of things a few years later.
And I was like, why did I say the N word so much on camera?
Why am I a fool?
All I had to do was tap it in.
I was right there.
You were so close.
How you're banished to the demon realm.
Yes.
The show tonight's gonna go so scary.
If you can guess my name by the end of this show, I will give you your life back.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
What's Bam Margera's network, dude?
These are never really completely accurate, but it says...
Bam Margera is an American skateboarder. It says a million and he has a lot of restaurants These are never really
It says a million and he has a lot of like restaurants and other clothing brands and stuff that I think
Oh, yeah He has a lot of businesses. Yeah, he's chilling dude. Bam is straight. Hell yeah, I would I would love to get bam on Legion of
Saints that'd be a great
Getting bam on there would be nice.
Yeah.
Be sick.
Yeah, he's beefing with Steve-o and stuff, isn't he?
I think that's off and on, yeah.
Oh, dude, I'll side with fucking bam in a heartbeat.
I'll end my relationship with Steve-o
right now to become friends with bam.
You know, fucking listen to Steve-o's fucking
scratchy ass voice anymore.
I can still make sense of you Like you said, it makes sense.
You're so cool.
Fuck.
Oh, God.
We need Nox.
So Nox was a but nox is royalty.
Nox was king.
Yeah.
We're not in that game of thrones.
He for sure.
Yeah.
Ascended.
He was always though.
He was the king kind of the whole time.
Yeah.
How did they even get introduced to each other? It wasn't me already sort of like on like a
jujax. He was not. You can't kill yourself. He was not in CKY. Yeah. But
then Steve was doing his thing. I think Tremaine is that his name? Yeah. Jeff
Tremaine. Yeah, he put them all together. He was like, here's all you guys are
making the same shit. Basically. Nox's make a show. Yeah. Gotcha.
Yeah.
Johnny Knox.
I would have done all that shit if I wasn't a pussy.
Like I was way in, but I was like, I'm not hurting myself.
When that came out, I think I'm sure all three of us
gave a shot.
Got the home video out.
Jump off.
Three steps.
Jump off a shed into a bush and be like.
Just not tap your body.
I was also afraid myself. Yeah, I'm a pussy. I can't do any of that shit.
All my friends started skateboarding.
I said, I was going to be an aggressive inline skater.
I'm going to rollerblade.
And I couldn't do any tricks.
I saved your fucking life.
But I couldn't do any tricks.
I couldn't jump and land like a rail slide or any of that shit, dude.
No, it's impossible.
I can just skate the way pretty girls skate through a park.
It's good stuff.
Yeah, but I can go backwards.
I can cross over. I can go backwards. I can go. No, it's impossible. I can just skate the way pretty girls skate through a park.
It's good stuff.
Yeah, if I go backwards, I can cross over.
Really?
You go backwards?
Oh, yeah.
Do you ever fuck with any Virts?
Halfpipe?
One time, not on rollerblades.
So the first time I went to Amsterdam when I was 22 years old,
we stayed in a place called Utrecht, which is like 45 minutes outside of Amsterdam.
It's like a different city.
But we were just poor.
We're like, oh, we can get a hotel for $110 a night.
And so we like had to fucking take a 40 minute train ride into Amsterdam every
day to bang hookers and get weed.
Take back a fucking super train home every night.
It fucking blew.
What were you doing in Amsterdam?
Hookers and weed, dude.
That was it.
It was before we. Utrecht was Utrecht is popping. Utre? Huckers and weed dude. That was it. It was before we checked. It was you track this poppin
You track didn't have anything dude. We literally just a supper
It's like saying in Westchester when you're visiting New York City, there's no reason so in Utrecht
It was a half pipe like for like skateboarders and we had rented those like big fucking stiff Dutch bikes
And we had rented those like big fucking stiff Dutch bikes. Oh my God.
And I was like, dude, I'm gonna hit the half pipe
with a Dutch bike, dude.
And I literally went, and I just went,
I flipped over the fucking thing,
and it just landed on top of me.
And I went, all right, I leaned on the ground
for like a half an hour while Dutch people laughed at me.
My mom died when I was there.
Oh.
You was there?
When I was there, my mom died. I was in Amsterdam. I didn't find out till I got home. Oh, there was there when I was there. My mom died.
I was in Amsterdam.
I didn't find out till I got home.
It was there.
Damn.
I didn't hear you say it.
I'm sorry.
No, it's okay.
Oh, so you got back from the trip.
You got home.
You're like, damn.
Yeah, I do when I got back.
Yeah, I'd like to think that was when I entered my first legal prostitute that my mom's heart
gave out.
That was the moment.
Fuck.
You are.
That's why you're fucking. Yeah. Damn. That's I mean, that was the moment. Fuck. You are. That's why you're fucking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Damn.
That's I mean, yeah, good man.
Hell yeah.
It's a chance.
It's a shot.
Maybe.
How was it like getting legal prostitutes?
You like shake their hands like, man.
Yeah.
Partner.
No, they were like just sort of more like
like clinical, I want to say about it really like prostitutes in the States
Like they vary from like being like alright You're fucking entering a hotel room and banging them for pretty cheap. You're sort of in and out
That was sort of the energy like your your you pay. I think was 50 euro
Fucking suck
Did she like it?
She loved it.
I loved her.
We were in love.
But they were like literally.
How many times did she come?
They were like European models, dude.
They were like, we're, we're, I don't know
if you've been to the red light district in Amsterdam, dude.
But these are like, some of them look like fucking garbage animals.
And then some of them are the most beautiful women
you've ever seen in your entire life.
Like crazy. Like, like so wildly hot to the point where you're like,
why would you do this?
Just go find a rich guy.
I don't understand it.
You can definitely find an old rich guy that you'll just fuck
this one gross guy for your life.
You could probably cheat on him and he'll take care of you.
I don't really understand the mentality of that beautiful
of a woman selling her vagina for $50 to tourists.
I assure there's an evil man behind that.
You think that there's traffic?
Definitely.
That makes it hotter.
That makes it better for me.
Yeah, but.
I was in the red light district in Hamburg, Germany,
which is not even close to as good as that,
but they were all still, I was like,
oh my God, these are the prettiest ladies ever.
Hotest Nazis you've ever seen in your entire life.
These are some quality Nazis.
You guys got some good Nazis here.
I see why you were trying to preserve this, but very, very clinical, very like,
you know, they fucking open their legs, you go 10 minutes, you're fucking out,
but you got to walk out into the street and other guys are like, Hey,
what's up?
Yeah.
After you came, you don't have like the inside of your body nut,
like whatever you don't care.
You're like, Oh, I got nothing to get out.
You don't care who watches you walk in.
But when you walk out, you're looking out the window to make sure nobody's there.
The shame. Yeah, it's very shame.
Yeah, it's fun to get guys on the way out of there and be like, yeah.
Yeah.
What you just doing there?
I was knocking out a parking garage of work and like where I was standing over
looked right into an alley where I wish you was.
She was I just stood there all day.
People come out like, yo, one, one dude.
Usually guys would scurry away.
There's one guy looked up and went and just walked away.
I was like, what a piece, dude.
Yeah, I've, yeah, I'm not not gonna put dirt on the man's name.
What?
We saw my dad, my dad and my uncle witness
an NFL great walking out of there.
I'm not gonna put dirt on the man's name,
but it was just funny.
I just, it came to mind.
Did he yell his name?
No, they were like, oh shit, look at the fucking,
oh shit, yeah, nice.
Holy shit, it's Carson Wentz.
It's Donald Wentz.
It's Donald Mcnav. He came out of it and puked, came out.
McNabb, yeah.
Well, I'm literally trying to name a football player.
Hold on. I got this.
John Elway. There you go.
Oh, it'll be nice.
L.A. would be nice.
I could see he probably messed with the pro ladies.
Yeah, he's a unit. Yeah.
He's a big dog that fucking.
We watched that.
Marino. You like that.
Marina. I like Marina. Yeah. I didn't know he was that good. I knew he was ladies. Yeah, he's a unit. Yeah. He's a big dog. He's that fucking. We watched that marino. You like that marino. I like marino. Yeah. I didn't know he was that good. I
knew he was good. Yeah. I know he was that good. I met marino
this past weekend that uh the I was at a Bud Light thing and uh
he is not much for talking. What what do you Bud Light thing?
I had to I went to a multimillion dollar signing. Go fuck
yourself. No, no, no. This Bud Light thing. It was like, you know, I'm gonna find my name. A Bud Light conference. I had to I went to a multi-million dollar signing go fuck yourself. No, this but light thing. It was like, you know
I was on my name a bud like
conference
I had to talk now you didn't yeah, you mean did you perform or you was a comedy or just like no
It was like hey, we're not gay anymore. Hey. Hey, no, it was like it was like a convention thing for all the wholesalers
For bud light so they had they like made an
announcement. They're like, we're partnering with the hottest comic ever.
Oh my God. And then they brought me out and I had to be like,
were people like, yeah, they were pumped. Some people. That's awesome.
Did you do was like a speech more so like a hello.
I literally talked for three minutes.
That's awesome.
Did you do any jokes or you just said, Hey, I'm just some jokes. I had some fun jokes. They were like because they give you parameters. It's obviously serious thing
They were like don't talk about anything. Don't say
You need to drink responsibly, you know, I mean they're like to say drink response. So I got out there
It's like I got so fucking responsible last night
I'm gonna get responsible tonight
That's funny. Yeah, it was nice. We had a good time. But I
met Marino afterwards. He's a Mickle-O-Bulture man. Oh, wow.
So I was like, they were like,
Was he there doing corporate espionage?
Yeah. No, no, no, they're, that's in Heizer Bush.
Oh, yeah. It's because I got invited to go to your
cratum conference. Yeah, I was just,
You got to be banned.
It was just a bunch of, you know, gas station ladies just kind of
is on down sleepy gas station.
By the way, all the guys they have your crater or they have
crater here. Yeah.
And all the guys here don't know what it is.
What do you mean?
They seem to think it's like a health elixir.
I guess our introduction to to Kratom was through you guys.
Well, we always kind of viewed it as gas station goth fuel.
And now it's like fucking.
There's different strains that I guess some of them make you like sleepy, some of them
give you like more alert.
Like I know Justin Silver uses it to like write and shit, which is fucking stop.
Dude, you need a new method.
Yeah, that was me and Beezer's like favorite thing was when he was making those dog
videos about like dog CBD.
I'm like, I'm here with Kona.
Kona, come here girl.
I'm giving her CBD.
Kona takes dog CBD.
So, uh, but you know, but it really the use for it is fucking like shirtless
to push up.
Yeah.
So power ups.
It's like, now I'm here with Kona.
This is Dolly.
She has separation anxiety.
I'm giving her dog cratum.
So, but no, people use it instead of fucking being addicted to pain
or pain pills or being addicted to heroin.
It's like a better alternative to that.
That's the use case that I've seen it used for
in a positive way.
Some people use it recreationally
and this get a little high.
I did it a few times.
I took too much one time and I was like,
it made me really nauseous.
It doesn't make you nauseous?
It made me super nauseous.
Now and now I can't even smell it.
But it tastes like shit.
The first time I really saw it was Josh Adam Myers was
crushing that shit. Yeah.
He was like, yeah, I'm sober.
And I watched him crush.
I think it's like small doses.
It gives you like an energy boost.
Don't mean to snitch on Josh.
It's like an opiate kind of.
It kind of makes it.
It does. It feels like you took like two park sets.
Yeah. That's what it feels like.
But yeah, don't do it.
I know. I saw that.
You don't want none of this stuff.
So that stuff for a mile away.
You can go to the gas station right now and get two perc assets.
You know, like $8.
Some of gas stations.
You can get creative.
Every gas station in this country sells creative.
They do.
And now it's on the Delta nine weed, which is just weed.
It's like Delta nine weed hemp thrives.
So it's just weed.
Yeah.
Yeah. Somebody told me yesterday got arrested cuz it was the comic
No, like this was on kill Tony the guy the guy was telling a story here
I got arrested cuz he told the cop that
It was regular weed in his vape pen the cop was like is this Delta 9. He's like no, it's really
What fucking moron yeah, but what was going on in the Kratom Expo?
What were people doing?
I know there wasn't really a Kratom Expo.
There was a conference?
I don't know.
But yeah, got to meet Marina though, sick.
That's awesome.
He didn't, I was excited to meet him.
He didn't reciprocate.
Well, he was doing his thing.
His thing was like a meet and greet thing.
So he was already, he was kind of in the middle of, or he was about to,
it hadn't opened yet.
So I was just there and he was like, you could tell he was getting in his
taking pictures, meeting mode.
And I was hitting him with like, so you went to a Pittsburgh central Catholic.
He was like, yeah.
I was like, I grew up in like Harrisburg, so it's not that far.
It's like a three hour drive.
So I knew I was like three hours away.
That's so far away to be like, yeah, yeah.
It's like, oh, you're from Philly?
Yes. I come from Washington, D.C.
So basically the same thing, you know, is going.
Yeah. All right.
Yeah, it was damn.
It was uncomfortable for me.
She's like, Sack, you just get.
Oh, what if fat tackle he is.
I gotta beat your fucking ass.
All right.
All right, man.
Yeah, all right, cool, man.
Fuck you.
I'm out here, dude.
I met the Iceman in Chocoladale.
He was there.
Did you really?
He was the man.
That's awesome.
I met the Iceman in Chocoladale once.
He rolls.
He was not the man.
What are you doing?
He's friendly.
No, because I wasn't at a conference.
I was at a diner and I saw him. Oh yeah, that'll do.
I didn't, look, if you fucking see a celebrity, right,
if they're eating with their family or friends,
like you don't fucking go up to them,
that's not just this shit, right?
I didn't do that, okay?
I was walking out of a diner.
I saw him, like just taking a seat in a diner with like,
maybe it looked like business associates.
Yeah.
You know, you know what they were.
It looked like a couple like business associates. Yeah. You know, you know what they were. It looked like a couple of business guys.
Yeah.
Uh, and then like a chick, like a hot chick.
And then as I'm walking up, I was like, Oh shit, chocolate.
Oh, what's up, dude?
I just did that as I'm like walking out of the dining room, like, you know, like that.
And he literally stared forward.
Like he was pissed that he was being recognized and was like, and I was like,
what, like nothing, no acknowledgement, but like almost like a pissed off fucking look, like I was about to come over to him and was like, and I was like, what? Like nothing, no acknowledgement.
But like almost like a pissed off fucking look.
Like I was about to come over to him and be like,
oh, can I get a picture? Can I get an autograph?
Yeah.
It's like, go fuck yourself, you fucking loser.
Fuck you, dude.
Who, you or him?
Him.
Fuck him, dude.
You're the loser. Yana's name is Diner.
No, that's not a loser.
He's an ice man, dude.
You know how me?
No, no, no, no.
He should be appreciative of the fact
that people know who the fuck he is, dude.
He's the ice man.
It doesn't matter, dude.
How long ago was this?
What year?
This was after his retirement,
like way after his retirement.
This is fucking, you know, maybe five years ago,
I wanna say.
He iced you, you just want to.
Yeah, he froze.
The name fit.
He froze.
Dude, he's ice man.
Cold as ice, dude.
Yeah, but he probably got hit.
Think about the fans he had. Dude, he probably got hit with the craziest, dude. Yeah, but he probably got hit to think about the fans. He had
Dude, he probably got hit with the craziest dude. Yeah, UFC fans UFC fans back then
Now they're a lot more mainstream back then it was just dudes. It was skankfest. Yeah
Monster energy t-shirts be like
Could you fucking that's what they were doing doing a little there people like could you, it's man, dude, it's such a fucking pleasure to meet you, oh, it's man. Could you fucking, that's what they were doing
doing a little there, people were like,
could you fucking, it'd be so sick to knock me out.
Could you, like, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I understand, and I, if I were to look,
if I would have approached this table,
and if I would have said, if I would have been a,
like a weirdo, it would have been one thing,
but somebody said, you just fucking sandwiched out, dude.
I triggered, dude, you saw it.
That's crazy, it's a crazy thing.
What time of day was this?
Night time.
10 o'clock at night?
Were you inebriated?
I don't think so.
You're sober?
Fucking average.
You're probably like,
come on down, you fat fucker.
Who are the Jews you're hanging out with?
Who are you?
Look at me.
Where's yours, guys?
Acknowledge me, Iceman.
He didn't even look at me, motherfucker.
How mad were you when you got this far?
I was with the check.
I look like a fool.
I look like a fool.
You know what I do?
Hi guys, I'm Michael Bissby.
This is the guy's name.
Did you say that to him?
No, I didn't say it.
I literally said, I think I said like,
job top Chuck or like Iceman from like,
as I'm walking out, I was leaving.
I was going to the energy directory.
And in that scenario, you just go,
you go like, I have something.
Yeah, that is, yeah, I know what you mean.
What?
Getting you with the fucking girl.
In front of the lady, getting iced in front of a lady
while you're fanning out, that does hurt.
Oh, dude.
You with a girl, you probably got in the car like,
motherfucker.
You get in the car and you're like.
Punch the steering wheel?
You're probably like, you're like,
I was like, you know, I know, I'm just jokes like that.
That's just like a gag that you do at any time
with these post friends.
Iceman keeps fucking with me like that, dude.
We got a thing going. Classic chalk. Classic chalk, dude why I'm with these folks. Friends with me like that. That is we got a thing. Classic chalk.
Classic chalk, dude.
I'm going to go back.
Yeah, I'm not going to bother.
I'll see.
I'm going to text.
I'm going to send the text right now.
I was made.
What's up, dude?
Classic ice.
Got me.
Great reality.
Shopper.
You got iced.
It's just chocolate.
I'm getting pissed. Theover. You got iced. It's just chocolate.
I'm getting pissed that people recognize it.
Probably.
She your phone.
You're like send the text to the ice man.
I smell really, really hilarious.
I did that.
Really good to see you, dude.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that's good.
Let's let's switch over to the patch.
Thank you, Lewis. Thank you,
really man. I love you guys.
Love you,
Lewis.
Hell yeah.
Can I promote my tour?
Yes.
Promote your tour.
Yeah.
Come see me live.
Lewis of skanks.com.
The meaty ogre tour.
I'm going everywhere.
I keep on adding new cities and uh, yeah, check out my specials on YouTube.
All that shit.
Hell yeah.
Sick.