Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast - Ep 488 - The Spirit of Pearl Jam (feat. Andrew Callaghan)
Episode Date: April 4, 2024Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod Support Andrew @ patreon.com/channel5 Go See Matt Live @ mattmccusker.com/dates Go See Shane Live @ shanemgillis.com Go See Shawn Gardini if you want ...PHILLY HELIUM APRIL 10 @ https://linktr.ee/shawngardini Get Merch @ mssecretpodcast.com/merch Hello everyone. Today Big SG and Lemeezy are joined by Andrew Callaghan of Channel 5 News. He is in fact the bro. Sadly Matt is out road dawgin - but the bros will be reunited next week. Long Live Callaghan. Please enjoy. God Bless. Support the show & get Lucy Breakers for 20% off & free shipping at https://www.lucy.co promo code DRENCHED This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/MSSP and get on your way to being your best self. Go to https://robinhood.com/boost for an exclusive offer! Available till April 30.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
We're here interviewing black Republicans
I haven't fully committed to
Republicanism yeah, I
Ever completely committed what it what are your policies so far? You know I hate
When they kill babies I hate that oh you hate abortion. Yeah, and I think we should keep people out
I know you're here, but we should keep people out there
And I think we should keep people out. I know you're here, but we should keep people out, dude.
My mom's visiting her and her friend were out.
They were out drinking wine last night.
I got to overhear my mom and her friend discussing
Israel, Palestine.
Yeah, that's great.
I was just trying to play a video game.
My mom was like, well, they started it and this is war.
So I was like, I was sitting there like
pausing the game like, mom, what do you know about Israel, Palestine? He's like, no, I was sitting there like, pausing the game, like, mom, what do you know about Andrew Palisade?
He's like, no, I know that.
Hey, it was so funny to watch you and your mom
like with each other, it was really funny.
Yeah.
And she's just trying to be nice,
you're like, mom, does that really make sense?
I do, I need to stop being a brat to my mom.
Yeah, you gotta be good to your mom.
I know, and I'm such a- Rule number one.
I, look, I'm being good, on paper I'm very good to her.
What do you mean? Like I'll buy her stuff. That's good. You gotta be. Off paper though. I know and I'm such a, look I'm being good, on paper I'm very good to her.
What do you mean?
Like I'll buy her stuff.
That's good.
Off paper though you're a fucking demon.
In person people are like, oh man.
This guy's kinda mean to his mom.
I don't know why I treat her,
not badly but like when she makes,
you know how, this isn't good.
She'll make up stories.
Like in groups to try to like sound funny.
Like embarrassing stories about you.
She'll talk to you about embarrassing stories.
What's an example?
Last night she almost did it.
Yesterday at the table, I heard she was hitting me
with the fucking here it comes.
Yeah.
I was in like, when I was a kid,
I'll be honest, third grade,
I sharted at the end of the day.
And I made it the whole way home. I escaped and no one caught me.
How much poop was?
It was enough that it smelled.
In the classroom.
Did your friends realize that you had?
Waiting for the bus.
I shit in the classroom.
They were calling the buses. I shit my pants.
Got home, stunk the bus up.
I was like, oh, it stinks. Who did that?
And then I got home and at dinner, they were like, How was
your day? And I was like, it was messy. I said it was messy.
You didn't elaborate. And then no. And then I was like, I shit
my pants. But the story the joke is that. How was your day? It
was messy. Yeah. And then yesterday, we were sitting
outside and I heard her she was like, How was your day? It was messy. And then yesterday we were sitting outside and I heard her, she was like, how was your day?
Was it messy?
And I was like, don't, don't.
Me shit in my pants right now.
So I'll give her that, that was a good one.
She was telling us the other day
how she tried her hardest not to make you feel.
She was like, I used to read him books,
I used to read him stories, but he just-
Tried to not make me my father?
Yeah.
Whoa. But then he just started turning into Phil. That's what I stories, but he just. Try to not make me my father? Yeah. Whoa.
But then he just started turning into Phil.
Jesus, that's what I mean.
She says wild shit like that.
Yeah, it's pretty dark.
She loves Phil.
She loves Phil.
It's not like they're divorced.
And they've never had a problem.
No, she loves Phil so much.
Yeah, Phil's the best.
Yeah, what the fuck?
She says like dramatic things like that.
Yeah.
And that I can't, I get annoyed.
I understand.
So I need to work on that and be very nice to her.
For sure.
Did you buy her a house yet or what?
I got her a pool.
I'm gonna make them keep the house.
Okay.
I like the childhood house that I grew up in.
Oh shit.
So I'm like I'm not.
You bought her the Mechanicsburg house.
Yeah, the Mechanicsburg house they own
and I bought a nice, they got a nice pool.
So you paid for renovations.
Yeah, yeah.
That's pretty solid.
Yeah.
Is it a lap pool or it's more like a small one. It's a pretty big fucking pool. It's worth
close to as much as they paid for the house. And I was like, I was like you can
get a pool. I was like mom I don't care how much it costs. I didn't think they
were that expensive. How much was it? It was like right now it's probably
sitting at like 200. Oh you bought her a nice pool. She was like okay pool. She was like, okay, here's what I want.
And I was like, mom, you don't have to go cheap on this.
You can get whatever you want.
And then she sent me an invoice for like,
she's like, with the landscaping,
it's gonna be about 250,000 dollars.
I was like, all right, so I don't ever wanna hear
that I'm a bad fucking son again.
She's, yeah.
Last night was funny too, yeah.
I was making fun of her for it.
I was like, mom, the pool is $250,000, shut up.
She was like, it is not.
It is not 250.
And I was like, how much is it?
She was like, there's one more thing we have to add to it.
I was like, god damn.
But she's having fun, so it's good.
Yeah.
She put up with me being a fucking loser for 30 years, so that's good. Yeah. Yeah, she put up with me being a fucking loser
for 30 years, so that's good.
Well now you did it, man.
You're on top of the world right now.
For the time being, yes.
Full circle.
Until I blow all my money on pools for my mom.
Anyway, it's nice for you to join us, dude.
Andrew Callahan, everybody, let's get it.
Thanks for the invite, man, I appreciate it.
I'm a huge fan.
I'm very happy.
We are such big fans of yours.
I wish Matt could be here for this.
Matt, Matt's a really big fan.
He's been talking about you a lot on the pod lately.
Yeah, that's why I hit you guys up.
Pennsylvania excellence in the pod.
Hell yeah.
So you're Mechanicsburg, he's Havertown.
Yes, and where are you?
Just Philadelphia.
Just Center City?
Yeah, pretty much.
Center City, Fairmount.
Nice, that's where Matt lived.
He lived in Fairmount. I grew up like where Matt lived. You lived in Fairmount.
I grew up right behind Eastern State Penitentiary.
Nice.
Right between Girard and Springfield.
What years were you there?
I was there from 1997, year of birth,
to I would say, shit, 2008.
And my dad was such a, what's it called, Pearl Jam fan,
that he got a bunch of Pearl Jam lyrics tattooed
and he's like, we're moving to Seattle.
And so we just picked up and followed Grunge
across the world. That's pretty fucking wild. Your dad followed Pearl Jam? No, not followed Pearl Jam lyrics tattooed and he's like, we're moving to Seattle. And so we just picked up and followed Grunge across the world.
That's pretty fucking wild.
You did follow Pearl Jam?
No, not followed Pearl Jam physically.
Oh, okay.
But followed the spirit of Pearl Jam.
Yeah, the spirit of Pearl Jam,
which doesn't exist there anymore.
We found out the hard way.
They divorced about a year after.
Yeah, yeah.
2008.
The spirit of Pearl Jam.
Doesn't, well, they got divorced the,
is that what you said?
Yeah, they did divorce. Yeah, after the Pearl Jam move Jam not because the spirit of Pearl Jam was the thing of the past
Yeah, Seattle's nice, I like Seattle it's alright I was in Vancouver first and then Seattle and Vancouver seems like just a nice
Version of Seattle. Did you go to the downtown east side of Vancouver?
No, I heard about that.
It's like the Kensington of Canada.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I heard it was the Kensington.
I got into an argument.
There is that weird sense of pride you have
where you're like, no, Philly's the worst place on earth.
And I was arguing with a Canadian lady
and she was like, no, Vancouver's the worst place.
And then we shared videos
and I think I shared your K and A stuff.
Oh, okay, I would say Philly's far worse than Vancouver.
Thank you.
Yeah, you win.
In your face, Canadian lady.
Yeah, we do take pride in our
the way we treat our people.
Oh, but you're from Philly.
You got that bias.
I'm from Philly, but when I grew up,
my parents always told me like,
no matter what happens, do not cross Gerard Avenue.
So I knew there was like some mystical nightmare land
about a mile from my house, but I had no visual.
And so I was 26 and I was like, let's go cover this.
And I was like, holy shit.
It's the most disturbing place I've ever seen,
the corner of K and A.
I've seen some shit and that's the worst.
Do you remember when that guy,
it was like three years ago,
he was driving like 120 miles an hour and it escalated
and just slammed into
he eviscerated a bomb he just he hit a bomb going like 120 that's crazy one of those guys that was
like nodding off standing at a train station that's gotta be the worst high ever yeah we're the best
i think it might honestly be the best way to go. Did the guy survive? No.
No.
Dude, it was going for real.
There's a lightning bolt down K and A.
Certain drug users have superhuman strengths.
I think a couple of them got hit and survived, like bounced.
The tweaker survived.
Yes.
The junkies died.
They made it.
The junkerman was asleep.
The junkerman.
The junkerman.
Yeah, it's a funny.
I know you're an advocate for the fellows,
but we like to refer to them as the Junkermans.
I mean, I think that's fair.
And the Junkermans, we would drive around K&A,
and Junkermans!
We didn't taunt them out the window.
We were yelling in the car.
Yeah.
Hey, no harm, no foul, right?
Yeah, we filmed a lot of the show we made in Philadelphia,
this sketch show we made.
And at night, when we were done with the shoots,
we would drive around and just like take
a look at K&A at night. What was your main takeaway
from those drives? It was so shocking I kept doing it. Yeah like it was that
fucking crazy I'm like this is I can't like injecting into open wounds and
that's not like a rare they're all doing it when you see them. Yeah. You will see
that. Ben Shapiro just went down there., man. He was like filming in the back and like the back seat of a fucking escalator.
Yeah, he's probably an open air prison.
It's pretty nice looking what the Democrats have done.
It's like, oh, yeah, they created Trank, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.
The Republicans are going to fix homelessness and abortion.
Dude, you say we're talking a little bit before.
But you're saying- They will clean it up, dude.
They'll get them out of there.
We won't notice.
They're gonna go through hell, but we won't notice.
Dude, I kinda wanna know about the Trank Bros.
Oh yeah. They seem like cool.
I mean, I know, you know, but I don't know.
They seem like good, not good guys, but you know.
I don't think I really know what you mean.
They look like they have fun. That was Matt's top question too it was like make sure you
ask him about the Trank Bros. Head Chefs of Kensington. That was some dark energy in that house
where I talked to him. Like I'd never been around just like sheer darkness in that sense
before but those guys were not playing around yeah and my eyes were burning
because like the I guess the mist or whatever the powder coming off the table was like creating this thick dense
atmospheric layer of like trank dust yeah your eyes were fucking burning and
like they're making or heating up lamb in the microwave in the kitchen behind
there it's all they eat is lamb yeah they only eat lamb yeah they see it as
like a super high-class delicacy that's cool. Lamb is pretty high class, dude. Some lamb chops out there microwave.
Yeah.
Dish out trying.
People dying outside.
Yeah, that's truly dark energy.
That's like real, those are Satanists.
They had like one moment that I didn't even put in
because it was so weird.
I guess they're like trying to be funny.
One of them was like,
hey, you know who my favorite bitch is, right?
And I was like what?
He was like, Kim Kardashian. I go, why? He's like, that white girl. And I was like hey you know my favorite bitch is right Kim
Kardashian I go why he's like that white girl I was like what I was like what do
you mean he's like that's my favorite bitch cuz I love that white girl I was
like like coke and they're like yeah and that was it you know I was like that
was fucking you could have bought a waiter ladies I know it was like in the
middle of an intense interview and I was like am I supposed to laugh that was
like their attempt at like hilarious comedy.
Yeah, we're gonna break this thing open.
Yeah, it was crazy.
I should probably get into open mics.
That's what the Trank Brothers,
they're gonna head down to Helium Philly.
Hit the Raven Lounge.
Yeah.
Me at the Raven Lounge, I'll make some sales.
They could make some sales at the end.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They could get you.
What I couldn't believe, dude,
I couldn't believe that they're willing
to actually talk to me.
Yeah. Yeah.
But you learned that like everybody,
no matter what they're doing,
wants to be recognized for their work.
Like they want to be remembered by history,
even if what they're doing is like technically immoral.
They think like we did something historic, which they did.
Yeah.
They created Trank.
Yeah.
And that's basically had an impact
and they want to be recognized and have a statement.
How the fuck have they not been arrested?
I don't know, man.
What do you think?
If you can just go interview the guys that did it?
I've had that thought a lot.
It's almost easier as a journalist
to get to someone than it is for the cops.
Yeah, for sure.
Because they're trained in avoiding cops,
but they love exposure.
Everybody loves publicity, especially drug dealers.
Yeah.
Didn't Sean Penn interview El Chapo't Sean Penn interview like El Chapo?
Right.
Sean Penn did interview El Chapo.
And then didn't El Chapo get arrested?
I think Sean Penn's a fed dude.
He's like, he's like, he's like diddy bro.
Be informative.
I think that happened because El Chapo said
he was a huge fan of Sean Penn's movies.
I think El Chapo actually requested
Senator Penn to come visit him.
He loves I Am Sam.
He's like, he's fucking retarded,
the whole movie he's fucking retarded.
You gotta see his movie, he's fucking retarded.
That's good stuff, huh?
I think the first five minutes of I Am Sam
is really funny.
I was just talking about this the other night.
They set the base.
They set the base for how retarded he is.
When he falls?
No, in the beginning of the movie,
he's literally organizing sugar packets at Starbucks.
And then he goes to the hospital, and the baby happens.
And then the lady abandons him with the baby
by walking into a crowd of people.
That's how she loses him?
Yeah.
I didn't even try to abandon him.
I fucking lost him.
Yeah.
It was crazy.
I will say though, somebody followed around me for the first part of my day.
Yeah, I'd be putting out the first.
Yeah, I'd be organizing sugar packets.
Yeah, splendid.
Yeah, dude.
So what the hell are you doing down here in Austin?
I wanted to come on your podcast.
Went on the Lex Friedman podcast.
A couple of pods, man.
I also love Austin.
I haven't been here since the country shut down for COVID.
So I was like, I heard that it was super different
and there was like a big California influx.
So I had to come confirm firsthand.
Is it confirmed?
Oh, for sure.
Yeah.
The city is like three times bigger than it was in 2019.
It's crazy.
Also the eclipse is happening in five days.
So we're gonna go to this field near Uvalde
where all the totality nerds are gonna meet up.
Bill Nye's gonna be there.
Someone's gonna try to catch him.
But people are freaking out about this shit.
I don't know what totality is,
but it's a big deal apparently.
It's like a 100% cover.
100% cover of the moon in front of the sun.
Yeah, it's an eclipse.
So does that mean the whole sky sky is going to go dark?
I think so.
That's going to be sick for two minutes.
I heard what is on Friday, right?
Yeah, I think we're going to be Michigan, dude.
We're going to miss the fucking cool eclipse.
The eighth.
It's on Monday.
Monday.
Yeah.
What do you think was second?
I was like, where they have that cool ass bridge that goes from like regular Michigan
to the Upper Peninsula, right? I've never been there. Saginaw is like where they have that cool ass bridge that goes from like regular Michigan to the upper peninsula, right?
I've never been there.
I've been there one time, I went to a bar,
and like I've never had a straight up like Neo Nazi
like try to approach me before,
but I was in Saginaw and this fool was like,
I thought he was gonna say huge fan.
He's like, what's up man?
I'm embracing for like the hey good to meet you.
And he goes, are you AB?
Like Aryan Brotherhood.
And I'm like, no.
And he's like, oh, I thought you were my celly, my bad. And bad And I was just like what the hell and that was the only experience I've ever had in Saginaw, Michigan
And that was I was there for maybe a half an hour
Meeting a neo-nazi I had a real fascist. I met fascists one
I was in Spain at a bar mmm
And these dudes were like I could barely speak English or Spanish and and English at that point
But talking these guys and they're that point, but talking to these guys
and they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, we love Franco.
I was like sick.
And then he put out his cell phone
and it was him giving a Nazi salute
in front of a burning swastika on his phone.
What do you say to that?
I was like, oh, bien,
bien, bien, bien, bien, bien, bien, bien, bien, bien.
And then I told the bartender, I was like,
bro, who the fuck is Faschistas? And he was like, bro, who the fucking fascist is?
And he was like,
I was like, well, fascist is a key.
And he was like, yeah, that's a...
He's like, that's just a regular guy.
It was a bar, dude.
Yeah.
Don't be fucking gay, dude.
Don't fucking tell on the fascists.
So, Mayor, you ever get to meet any Nazis?
No, but I was thinking about Burning Crosses the other day.
I watched that movie, The Black Clansman,
and at the end they have a burning cross at it.
And I was like, it's actually kind of a powerful visual,
a burning cross.
And then I looked into it, and one of the emperors,
I can't remember his name, but he used burning crosses
to scare people when he was crusading,
trying to get the Bible together.
I think you should do it.
Burn a cross.
Yeah.
What are you gonna say?
I would love it if LaMare got into cross burning.
Flip this thing.
Please not at my house.
Not here?
Definitely not here.
I think it's powerful.
It was like kind of moving.
The way they did it in the movie, like. It was like kind of moving the way they did in the movie like it was like cuz like
Reconstitute we reconstituted the meaning as get out of our neighborhood
I mean, I guess the meaning was originally get out of our neighborhood, but like it could be beautiful
Statement against the oppression of the church dude
Values forced on our society. Yeah undoing it by reclaiming the oppression of the church. Dude. Christian values forced on our society.
You're undoing it by reclaiming the imagery.
Damn, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, next time there's like a pro-life rally,
get down there.
Burn a cross.
Burn a cross.
And say, I'm pro-life.
In front of the Plain Parish.
When the fuck did you become so pro-life?
I had to do a thing last year I didn't like.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh man, that's really funny. You said that.
Yeah. Well, God bless, dude. You've seen the light.
Yeah, it happens.
You committed the ultimate sin.
Yeah. Is that the ultimate sin. Yeah.
Is that the ultimate sin?
I think it's up there.
Top five.
Top five sins.
Top five.
Well, dude, all sins are equal in the eyes of the Lord.
Whoa.
That can't be true.
That says that in the beginning.
It cannot be true.
It can't be true.
So me and Hitler are tied right now.
Yeah.
And the eyes of the Lord?
No, that's not fair.
Well, dude, get your score up.
You got a lot.
You got 599,000,000, you got 5,999,999,999.
You gotta catch up, dude.
Yeah, I gotta catch up.
I don't think, yeah, you're gonna want to yeah, you're probably gonna want to remove this but
You still thinking about working in info was I
Don't know if they'd hire me anymore man, really?
Well, now that they know you're fucking lived
I think people think that I'm like super fucking like lived out to high heaven
Which I understand cuz I like have a I'm pretty empathetic like an empathetic person and shit
So when I talk to people I let them tell their story
Yeah
So every time I interview like a migrant or something all these comments are like you fucking left this fucking lived hard
I'm just like damn. I'm just talking to bro like yeah, you know, I don't think that's very, I don't think that's wrong.
Yeah, I think people are so divided and polarized now
and everyone has to fall into either bucket.
Like you're either Antifa or you're like a Trump soldier.
Dude, you know what's crazy?
The video with you crossing the border
didn't get taken down, but your damn ID video did.
What the hell?
It's crazy.
Did you follow us?
I didn't get to see the ID thing.
What happened?
Well, pretty much we had had this Vegas Tunnels documentary,
right?
And we used 10 seconds of this Fox 5 publicly broadcast clip
in this like basically 95 minute video.
And they had lawyers hit up YouTube
and got our shit taken down, which is illegal,
because they said it was a fair use violation or copyright
violation.
But they reinstated it about two hours ago.
Oh, hell yeah.
Let's go.
What were they doing on there?
I mean, it was basically just footage of this nonprofit
helping people living in the tunnels.
And I guess it was their property.
Oh, OK.
So they had an issue with that.
Yeah, I thought there was a conspiracy about it.
There were some sayings.
There was no conspiracy.
Well, the conspiracy is like Las Vegas right now
is going through a a Disneyland style image rehab
because it's known for being like a neglected
kind of like shitty place, right?
But they just got the Raiders, the Athletics,
the Sphere was just built, and Las Vegas is trying
to double down and be a whole new city.
And so the idea of homeless people living in the sewers,
basically, below the most expensive casino on the strip
is not really positive PR for the town.
And given that Fox 5 is their biggest news affiliate,
I suspect that the mayor or someone high up
in Las Vegas City Council was like,
yo, how can we get this video down?
Let's do a copyright strike.
But maybe I'm just on some tinfoil hat shit.
But I feel like there was a real game.
I don't think that's real tinfoil.
I think that's perfectly,
I thought the tinfoil thing was like,
the Dems wanted it down,
cause you were exposing how they're trying
to get those guys IDs to go vote left.
Oh shit, I didn't even consider that.
I'm always thinking from that angle.
It's all about the vote.
I'm always worried about what the Dems are up to.
They're trying to get people to vote, man.
They're trying to get fucking,
yeah, they're trying to get to this.
How long ago did you film that,
if I can ask the Vegas one?
Shit, I filmed that about a year ago now.
Oh, okay.
Have you ever like, have you talked to the guy again?
I can't remember his name.
Glenn?
Talked to any of the fellas down there?
No, I mean, because I tried to help as best I could,
but there's a certain situation where like,
you have a paternal relationship with somebody,
I don't want that.
I don't want them calling me,
being like, I need 10 bucks today, 10 bucks tomorrow.
So I tried to offer the help,
and then from there, you you gotta guide it yourself.
Because you're not gonna change your situation
unless you want to.
And if you have someone coming every day,
blowing your high, being like, hey man,
you wanna do some day labor?
And they're coming down from a three day meth bender,
you're gonna become their worst enemy.
Dude, you literally did the first step of every addict,
they're like, I can't get, I can't, and you did it.
And now like, if anything, it is up to him now.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what tripped me out is like,
what I filmed first was the San Francisco streets video,
then Philly, then Vegas.
And the Vegas video is different
because it's like me actually trying to help in some way.
Because like, when you've been living that way
for a long time, a lot of people get used to telling
this like story of like, oh, I can't better my life
because of this.
I can't make a change because I don't have an ID
or because my social security check is not coming.
But then if you think about it,
like a lot of those roadblocks,
we already have like billion dollar programs
set up to help them.
There's just a lot of people don't want help
or they do want help,
but they don't know how to take that step, bro.
Cause people aren't babies, you know?
Yeah, 100%.
No one really likes living on the street.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But a lot of them are really embarrassed
and they want to make it seem like
they're just a victim of bad luck,
which in some cases is true,
but dude, you gotta think,
in the older generation especially, bro,
like it's embarrassing for them to be living like that.
Yeah.
My generation, if you're in your 20s,
it's like we're kind of drifters, vagrants,
kicking it, van lifers.
It's a whole different thing
if you're a boomer living in Philly on the streets.
That's fucking embarrassing.
For them, I mean, whatever.
Yeah, it's pretty embarrassing.
For sure.
For everyone.
You ever been homeless for more than a day before?
No.
Really, you never had a car break down
in West Texas and just stuck?
Just stuck.
Yeah, but I was on a friend's couch and stuff. Yeah, for sure. Just stuck. Yeah, I mean, yeah, but I was like
on my friend's couch and stuff.
Yeah, for sure.
Never like outside.
You never slept outside in a park after like that?
I've slept in a car in a rest stop, yeah.
Which rest stop was that?
That was on 95 outside of DC.
Or out, yeah, on the way, yeah.
You know what my favorite rest stop is?
Breezewood, PA, have you been?
Breezewood's nice. It's a nice rest stop. The Cracker Barrel, though. Yeah know what my favorite rest stop is? Breezewood, P.A., have you been? Breezewood's nice.
It's a nice rest stop.
The Cracker Barrel, look.
It's crazy.
Planet Fitness, Cracker Barrel, everything you need.
That's a crazy rest stop, dude.
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah.
Oh, you're a rest stop aficionado, dude.
You're a big van lifer.
Some could say.
Yeah.
Yeah, how long were you living in a van for?
Shit, about two and a half years.
Yeah, okay.
How, were you tired of it?
Yeah, by the end, especially, there's like, living with two about two and a half years. Yeah, okay. How, were you tired of it? Yeah, by the end especially,
there's like, you know, living with two other dudes
and a car sucks.
Yeah, oh my God, dude.
For two and a half years.
But then the electricity stopped working
and the generator was supposed to be like 10,000.
How'd you guys beat off, dude?
You wait till your friends aren't in the RV.
Or you make them leave for some reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like you guys gotta go to Starbucks.
Garmin just told me a funny story about that.
He was, because I did a joke about when you're a kid,
you love your mom until you jack off for the first time,
and then you're like, soon as she leaves the house,
you're beating off.
And he was like, I heard that.
And he remembered his mom coming home one day
and like, what do you want for dinner?
And he was like, pasta and broccoli.
She was like, well, I have to go to the store if you want that. Is there anything else you want? And he was like dinner and he was like pasta and broccoli she
was like well I have to go to the store if you want that is there anything else
you want he was like you gotta get pasta
dude that's how it was I remember I jacked off for the first time in the
bathroom of an Italian restaurant in Seattle I didn't even know what was
happening I went to go wash my hands.
So I got soap in my hands and I just touched my dick
for a second, I'm like, yo, that was crazy.
I was flying in that soap.
So I remember it took me about 45 minutes
to complete the mission, right?
So I'm in there trying to make it work
and my parents are banging on the door like,
are you okay, Andrew?
I'm like, I'm just taking a really gnarly shit,
just give me a second here.
Better than ever, I had no idea I could feel this good.
Yeah, I came out of that shit like a changed man.
I was like, I don't know what I just did,
but I think I'm the first guy to do it.
Yeah, that's how it goes.
Yeah.
Then the homies reported similar situations,
and I was like, we're all gonna do this.
Everybody starts reporting back around the same time.
By the middle of seventh grade, bro, it is insane.
Everyone's a chronic master.
Yeah, that's actually my material right now.
That's what I'm working with.
Yeah, you figured it out.
Yeah.
That's, you cracked the code.
Hell yeah, man.
Yeah, the magician's been revealed.
Uh, yeah, that's a fucking insane first one.
Yeah, what about yours?
Mine was, actually I got a wild one.
It was on my, I was sleeping at my friend's house.
I was on his family's couch, watching porn.
While they were like in the kitchen.
Where'd he ask?
I can't believe this.
You're on a couch watching porn or like cooking food?
Yeah, yeah.
He was a weird house.
You could watch porn there.
What, really?
Yeah.
His parents are super chill.
His parents were so chill.
Would they just come in and be like, I love this scene?
They'd go, aw, what are you guys doing?
No.
My parents would literally beat my ass.
It's weird to let your kids watch porn.
Yeah, it's very weird.
Yeah, that's not chill, but I mean, you can't stop them.
When you're a kid, it's the chillest house of all time.
It's like when they let you smoke drugs in your house,
like as long as your dog is here.
Oh, I had a friend's mom like that.
We abused the fuck out of that rule.
Exactly.
We have 20 people over just hot boxing. That's exactly what we did. Shoo King from fucking Greeding Out. She's like, just I'm happy you's mom like that. We abused the fuck out of that rule. Exactly. We have 20 people over just hotboxing.
That's exactly what we did.
Huging from fucking greeting out.
She's like, just, I'm happy you're doing it here.
I'm like, why?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like, what's out there that's so dangerous?
Like, you don't want to, we can't smoke weed at the park now?
Yeah.
Yeah.
When was your first?
I'd love to hear this.
The first beat?
I was, I think I was 13.
Yeah, it was just in the bed.
You just cracked one off in the bed?
To like the squiggly channel.
Oh really?
Yeah, I thought I saw a boob and I was like,
my cousin's been telling me about this,
I might as well try it.
And your life forever changed.
Yeah.
Has anyone been giving you any guff
about sharing a flashlight with your brother yet?
Do we cut that from the last one?
Improvise real now. This is real. We accidentally. Yeah, we share the flesh of the brother. That's equally. They're the same
Makes sense why that would happen. Yeah
Yeah, real brother true brothers
There's two of these guys walking around.
And they used to split, they used to have two air mattresses
in their room.
And they would occasionally, one of them would explode.
They'd go through my two air mattresses.
He said they'd be sleeping in that,
you'd just hear someone's van like.
Pfft.
And they'd just have to sink into a fucking.
Pour out.
Aw man. Oh man.
Sleep on a cold ground.
How long does it take for an air mattress to explode if you're doing like nightly...
One of these big fellas?
And this is, Lamar's looking good, dude.
He used to be 400 pounds.
Really?
Yeah.
Damn, congratulations.
You were exploding air mattresses.
Jabri was never 400.
No, but he's mad small now.
He's skinny as heck.
Yeah.
He's a... Jabri got No, but he's mad small now.
He's skinny as heck.
Yeah, he is.
Jabri got scared, but he was a unit too.
Yeah.
He was probably three.
Right, he was easy 350, dude.
Like a CMB 350.
350, 400.
Holy shit.
The Lee brothers combined 800 pounds.
The one ton brothers.
That makes air mattress shit way funny.
It's so funny.
These two brothers exploding air mattresses, sharing a flesh like being 800 pounds, smashing
animals.
Did Jabri ever kill any animals too?
He was there with me when we dropped that rock on a bird.
It was the with me when we dropped that rock on a bird. There was the disgusting brothers.
You were out torturing animals?
We didn't torture, me, my brother, and our cousin, Jared, we were outside.
Was Jared a big dog?
Yeah.
How big is Jared?
He's tall too.
He's probably like 30 now.
So he's the leader of the unit.
I think I was the leader.
You were the leader of the unit.
I like to think I was the leader.
You've got good leadership problems.
I led all the pizza roll missions.
You led the leader of the units.
I like to think I was the leader.
You've got good leadership.
I led all the pizza roll missions.
You led the pizza roll missions?
All the night pizza roll missions.
No, that's a leader.
That is a leader.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That's right.
Yeah.
How many missions a day was that?
Just that night, dude,
whenever the parents, you know, 11 o'clock.
We had a strict household.
Really? Yeah, I couldn't watch South Park.
I couldn't watch anything past like 10 p.m.
Yeah, it was pretty strict.
But then the brothers were out on a mission.
You found a bird.
Yeah, it was in the back.
It was already under the rock.
It was already under the rock.
And my cousin was like,
yo guys, look what I found under this rock, a bird.
Oh, he didn't find that.
Birds don't go under rocks, dude.
Birds don't get under rocks.
It was there.
It was under the rock.
And then I lifted it up and I dropped it and it went, like squeak.
Oh no, it was a lie.
No, it was dead.
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There's a rapper in Kensington right now named Skrilla who's been sacrificing animals for
his rap videos. Whoa. Decapitating goats and shit and using Kensington junkies as like
extras in his fucking background. I gotta send you guys this shit.
It's, it is horrific.
Is he sacrificing goats on Kensington?
Yeah, in the Hallowys.
What?
The cops are letting voodoo happen now too?
He's like a demonic Kensington Trank Drill Rapper.
Yeah.
Damn, I'll take the under on that life expectancy.
That's fucking wild.
Price big.
Trank Drill Rapper. Yeah. I hope one of those goats gets loose. It's fucking wild. It's a big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big, big,
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Yes.
So we went hunting with this actual like unit of researchers
who believe that it's real.
And so they said, if you want to find the devil,
you got to get a bunch of goats blood
because the Jersey devil is a distant cousin of the goat.
So I went, we had to go to a goat farm in Jersey
and we're like, can we have some goats blood?
And we get there and they fucking kill this goat
basically like out back and
And bring us like a giant jar of blood to hunt the devil with and so yeah, they just really kill it
We go hey do you have any extra goats blood laying around like oh, we don't have any right now
But we'll take care of it. We can like hear this goat get killed
Yeah, dude, did you find the devil no we'll take care of it, we can like hear this goat get killed, Jesus Christ. They really screamed too. Yeah.
Yeah, dude.
Did you find the devil?
No.
Damn.
I seen it.
You saw the New Jersey Devil?
I saw the devil.
Me and Jbri were driving back from Ramapo.
We saw it on the road.
I was like, oh no, I'm so scared.
You guys saw the Jersey Devil?
Yeah, I was so spooked, dude.
Sounds terrifying. It sounds like you were making that up.
I'm not making up, dude.
We saw the Jersey Devil.
It was like a dog.
It was like, it had horns.
And it was like, it was up like this.
Sounds like you really saw it.
Yeah, I saw it, dude.
You guys high as fuck?
Yeah, I mean, a little bit.
We were a little high.
What'd you guys do to celebrate seeing the devil
did you pull off?
We didn't celebrate.
Get some Roy Rogers?
I hit the next wah-wah, I was like,
did you fucking see that dude?
Get some Roy Rogers.
Roy Rogers is the best rest stop food.
That's crazy.
That's one of the worst rest stops.
Roy Rogers is the best one.
Roy Rogers is a let down.
What, you get to make your own burgers to tenders?
Roy Rogers tenders are top tier.
I'll give you that, those are solid tendies.
I'll give that to you.
Good tendies.
Solid tendies.
Sheetz has good tendies.
Sheetz does have some good tendies.
Oh, I was gonna ask you.
Sheetz has the best tendies.
Sheetz or Wawa, what do you think?
Wawa's the hoagies, that's where it's at.
But Sheetz has a fryer, so you can get some good tendies.
I'm gonna fry it.
Although I think Wawa might have fryers now too, right?
Wawa has pizza.
They have microwave tendies.
Oh really, yeah, they don't have the tendies.
Yeah.
Sometimes all you need is some tendies
and Sheetz is the answer.
Yeah.
You can't microwave tendies, they come out too wet.
Yeah, it's so true, dude.
Shane, you thought you connected more
with like the Pittsburgh or Philly area?
Growing up, Mechanicsburg was way more like Pittsburgh. You thought you'd connect more with like the Pittsburgh or Philly area? growing up was
Mechanics was way more like Pittsburgh. Yeah, like once you get past Lancaster, it's kind of like just the Midwest. Yeah, it's a whole different world
Yeah outside of Philly actually as soon as you leave Philly, it's kind of yeah, it's kind of the Midwest and then
Lamise's a Detroit man. I was born there. So when you smashed the bird, was that in Detroit?
Yeah, that was in Detroit.
Well, that bird had a culling, didn't it?
Yeah.
What was he doing in Detroit?
I thought I hallucinated black squirrels for most of my life.
But they only like kind of-
No, they're out there.
Yeah.
I thought-
Wait, you thought you hallucinated black squirrels,
but you're certain you saw the New Jersey Devil?
Mm-hmm. Well, here's why I thought I hallucinated a black squirrel,
because when I saw it, it was eating a rib bone
onto like a trash can.
That was a Detroit squirrel.
There, just get some ribs.
That's what I was like, oh.
See, that squirrel's like, sheeeew,
wanna get some ribs.
The animals probably knew to stay away from the Lee brothers.
You're Omar dude, they heard you coming.
We did kick our dog in the nuts, that was pretty fun.
I heard about that, I remember that story.
You've never done that?
I would never kick a dog like that.
Really?
No.
Why not?
Because they're dogs, dude, you don't kick them in the balls.
I kicked you, me and Jabri kick each other in the balls.
We do it for fun.
There was a episode, this is probably why our mom
didn't let us watch South Park.
Cause there was that episode of South Park
where they did Rochambeau and they would just
kick each other in the nuts and then me and Jabri
just started doing that cause we're like,
that looks fun.
Did you guys build up tolerance?
Yeah, I was going to say, like...
Yeah.
That's good battle for all the bullies.
Yeah, practicing getting kicked in the nose.
You guys can't hurt the Lee brothers.
The Lee brothers hurt themselves.
Yeah.
Getting kicked in the nose is horrible.
Yeah. That's crazy.
It's only happened to me once or twice.
Yeah.
Well, as a kid, I didn't.
I was like 10 or 11 and didn't hurt that bad.
Yeah, before PBR doesn't hurt that much.
Yeah.
When they're still small.
Yeah.
But yeah, once like sixth, seventh grade hits and everyone starts hitting the fucking
like the nut taps at school.
That was a devastating time period.
Nut taps, yeah.
Yeah.
The full body.
Yeah.
So you were out in Seattle.
How old were you when you moved to Seattle?
About 11 years old.
Okay.
Did you get to play any cool sports while you were in Seattle?
No.
It's not a sports town.
For me, as soon as I started smoking weed,
all sports went away.
Yeah.
There's like a path when you're 13 where like
you divide between stoners and athletes.
Yes.
And I'm happy to take path one.
But before then, I was a first baseman.
Nice.
Actually, Fairmont Sports Association MVP of 2007.
Oh, shoot.
If you want to look it up.
Fuck, you were an MVP in 07?
Yeah, we lost to Germantown in the last game.
Damn.
Aside from that, I did pretty good.
You're an MVP and you chose the drug life?
Well, I mean, it was just weed.
You're like Daryl Strong.
But no, I've never been a sports guy.
Mostly because I moved when I was 12.
So I was an Eagles fan and a Phillies fan I get to Seattle and like they had the
Sonics and she you see Hawks fan now a little bit. I have a hard time like following sports
I don't know boring as fuck to me. That's fair. This is pretty boring cuz it's not real
What do you mean? I feel like it's all rigged
You know what I mean? Like they're like for-profit fake, you know divisions between regional areas in America
Yeah, they're trying to distract us from having like true liberated thoughts
People live and die behind these logos and these teams. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, it's still like sports stuff they're fun
Like whether or not their team wins or loses. Like dude, there's some Eagles fans,
I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about,
who like, their year will suck if they don't make
the playoffs, no matter what.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Our friend Tommy is like that.
Tommy gets like, yeah, he, the Phillies,
wasn't that the Phillies?
The Phillies lost and he put a fucking hole in the wall
while they were watching it.
Jesus Christ.
I lived with him
I was like he watched fucking two regular season games
He didn't watch the season at all
Yeah, it's exciting 2008 when the Phillies won that was the best fuck that was all I do you guys remember that yeah
Yeah, they rioted dude. I lived on Broad Street at 13th, like right,
and I could see the street,
like they were pulling people out of cars,
just like beating people up.
It was sick.
The roster was so sick at that time.
Ryan Howard, Jimmy Rollins,
Roy Vittorino and shit.
Roy Vittorino was the bro.
J-Roll was my favorite baseball player of all time.
Yeah, J-Roll was awesome.
He was like my role model when I was a kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's a good role model. Yeah, I wonder what he's doing now. when I was a kid. Yeah. Yeah. He's a good role model.
Yeah, I wonder what he's doing now.
He's a good guy.
He's around.
He's probably just living.
He's probably living.
Doing his thing.
Yeah, he does like self-fulfill.
I see him do like sports broadcasting.
Oh really?
Yeah.
They'll bring him in.
Why don't sports guys ever become like
men's motivation dudes?
I feel like that would be like a natural path.
Like men's motivation, car sale guy, you know?
Men's motivation's sick, dude.
Yeah.
Have you guys seen that full Andy Elliott on Instagram?
Yes.
The car salesman?
Yes.
He gets me amped, dude.
I wanna sell cars now.
I wanna make some sales, dude.
We discuss Elliott a lot.
We're part of Elliott Army here.
You guys signed up for the online package.
No, not yet.
Not yet, but we're considering it. It'll really help you signed up for the online package? No, not yet. Not yet.
But we're considering it'll really help you level up, bro.
How many? How much money do you make a year selling cars? I
don't have a six pack yet. Somebody true.
I'm never gonna get in dude. Yeah.
We got on that and I was I was hating on him for a while.
First couple times I saw it. I was like, fuck this guy. On
what grounds? What was your initial hatred?
The first hatred was how fucking dumb
the one thing he said was, which was like,
how many cars could you sell in a month?
And the guy's like, 20.
And he's like, what if I kidnapped your family
and said you have to sell 40 this month
or I'll kill your family?
You goddamn bug.
And he was like, well then of course I could.
He's like, and you're not doing it.
Why? He's like, well, cause my, could. He's like, and you're not doing it, why?
He's like, well, cause no one's got my wife at gunpoint.
What are you talking about?
He's like, Elliot Armie's on the way.
Elliot Armie's gonna kidnap her.
But then I kept watching and it's pretty good.
The guy's fired up, he's excited about life.
He makes me wanna exercise.
It's hard to hate Arm.
You guys have any other favorite
men's motivational speakers
online?
I got my number one right now is a guy named Luke Belmar.
What's up with him?
Luke Belmar, you wouldn't believe it.
He's just a guy.
He's like a copy Andrew Tate.
And now he's like a, he's not necessarily
a men's workout guy, but he's like an entrepreneurial type.
Yeah. But he has some of these takes you wouldn't believe. He's not necessarily a men's workout guy, but he's like an entrepreneurial type.
But he has some of these takes you wouldn't believe.
Like, who was your mentor?
He was like, Leonardo da Vinci.
I'm gonna stay that one.
I don't think you understand mentor.
Do you follow this guy Davis Clark?
No, I don't know Davis Clark.
He's like this locked in ass marathon from Boston. Who's really excited about going
to the corporate office every morning. Yeah. I'm making a
fucking documentary about him. Really?
Yeah, this guy because I know you're a man of mystery. There's
two types of chefs.
Do you have a secret pasta? A secret pasta that you can make. For you or your friend?
It's coming.
This one is my favorite.
We got a very simple, very tasty.
Like mother used to make it.
Thank you sir.
Thank you sir.
He got the secret pasta.
That's how a boss eats.
I didn't know what that guy's name was.
But I saw him on my feed all the time. That's how a boss eats. I didn't know what that guy's name was, but I see him on my field.
That's how a boss eats.
Yeah, I remember he was like,
he was talking to some college kids, he's like,
how many of you guys could ask a homie right now
for a 500k wire?
And they were like, none of us,
none of us, he's like,
cause you don't hang out with fucking bosses,
you need to upgrade your social network.
I was like, oh shit.
He has one, he's sitting there and he's like,
what do banks do?
Rivers, banks control the current.
What is a current?
Currency.
If you can control where the current's going,
you can let the water, the currency come to you.
And everybody in the room had to be like.
He's doing the Beautiful Mind Solutions.
Yeah, he's doing Beautiful Mind Solutions
with like a pretty low IQ.
He might not be low IQ.
I think that's his second language.
Look, I'm going to turn and be a fan of Luke Belmar in a month.
Yeah, I mean, at least he's on a positive tip, I guess.
He is positive.
He is positive, certainly.
So who's this guy you're looking at?
So Davis Clark, aka the locked in UMass king.
So every morning he posts shit.
He's like, yesterday he was like I
don't have to go to the office on Monday I get to go to the office on Monday here
come the heavy hitters we're locked in
his mouth always open the entire time
yeah I've seen this guy
yo so I got his number and I'm going to Boston to do a documentary about it.
Hell yeah.
I just watched, he just linked with
25 year old DC Bachelor, you ever see that guy?
No, I haven't.
What's his name?
Tony P.
Tony P?
They linked, like recently I saw a video of them
at the steakhouse together and they're like,
it's crack the fear of Tony P.
And Tony P's like, let's go man, we got steaks coming.
Yeah. Those guys are the ideal employees for any company. I
Do employees for any company
Yes, those are the funniest dudes possible
What's best about them shit my bad. They didn't mean to be famous. You know what I mean?
He just wanted to genuinely post this shit
and now the whole world's watching.
Yeah, they literally just want to inspire people.
Now they're inspiring millions.
It's like Pookie though, you watch Pookie?
Mm-mm.
Pookie and Jet, those are good people.
Are they motivational?
No, it's just rich.
It's just two rich Southerners.
Oh, sick.
Jett just keeps buying Pookie nice shit.
He's like, Pookie, you look amazing tonight.
Pookie, what are you wearing tonight?
She's like, this jacket's from, it's great.
I can't wait to watch it.
It's really wholesome.
What did fucking Pookie do?
Pookie was in hot water for wearing an antebellum dress
at a party in her college days.
Antebellum like during slave times?
Sort of, but it wasn't, you know, they're from the South.
I feel like everyone used to do that.
Who the fuck didn't think Jet and Pookie
were clearly racists?
They were in high school.
You never seen them, you go,
these are somehow still slave owned.
They own slaves now.
They figured it out.
They're definitely owning slaves.
I looked up, actually McCaffrey did, that's hilarious.
Christian McCaffrey was like obsessed with Pookie and Jet.
And then he looked into Jet, the guy,
I think his name's Jet.
The guy's a fucking genius.
He finished like top of his class at Penn.
Like Jet's the fucking man, dude. Yeah, you watch it, you're like, this guy's a fucking genius. He finished like top of his class at Penn. Like Jets the fucking man, dude.
Yeah, you watch it. You're like, this guy's a fucking idiot.
Just the way he's like.
I don't know, he's like autistically talking to his his bae.
Yeah, you got to see the boy.
Oh, he's a handsome southern man.
He's a gentleman.
He's put together.
He's the best. Pookie's.
So she was wearing an antebellum
slave on her outfit
When you is it a relic from that time or was in the style of that time?
I think that's totally excited. Is that like a themed party?
Sounds like a hatchet job. It was it was sort of it sounds like they pissed off the matrix, right?
Oh, that's a big deal dude poogies you have like you gotta link with them
Stake places
Top-tier steak places
Andrew you have a favorite interview?
Damn, that's a tough one because like there's like, there's the most impactful interviews, but also my personal favorites.
Yeah, I'm trying to think what do you think comes to mind is like your favorite channel?
I like the I like the January 6 one with the Q and on Shaman.
Oh, yeah, yeah, with with the Q Shaman.
That's pretty good. That was fun to watch him just like screaming in the park and on shaman. Oh yeah yeah with with the Q shaman. That was
pretty good. That was fun to watch him just like screaming in the park and the
other guy. Yeah. The guy that linked you guys. Oh yeah Kelly's a real homie. Oh no it was in the I
think it was in the movie. Oh the one the guy that ended up actually having
charges for Enrique Tarrio. was that the guy that was like a
pedophile hunter oh yeah sat down with them and you're like what's this Peter
day he was like what the fuck is that
because we found this guy on a Shooter Sub-Shit,
and he was like, I'm Dave the Pedophile Hunter.
Every day he exposes a new pedophile.
He's like, today, Eminem.
The next day, it's like Chris Tucker.
And he's insane.
And he was like, Ice Cube, like everybody.
So I looked the guy's name up, and he's
a convicted child molester.
I'm like, you'd think that he'd want
to drift away from talking about that kind of stuff,
but no, he wanted to really own it.
He's hunting them down.
But off camera, he gave me some whole explanation
where the deep state set him up
because he was criticizing the pharmacies
for prescribing Adderall to the kids
and the Boy Scout troop that he was a leader of.
And so the Adderall lobby and the Ritalin lobby
took him down on false charges.
And I was like, really?
I hope not.
So what, he was a boy pedo?
He was a Boy Scout leader.
Oh no.
And you know what's more fucked up?
In Bed-Stuy in like the 70s.
Oh no.
So like he was like commuting into the inner city
black neighborhood to be a Boy Scout leader
and then do a molestation.
He totally turned crazy.
So that's pretty fucked up.
Oh yeah, ew, they were black.
Yeah.
Yeah.
God, that's even worse.
Yeah.
I honestly did kind of feel bad about that scene, though.
I'm not going to lie. Yeah.
Like, I wouldn't do something like that.
You weren't trying to do like a gotcha thing, but I didn't.
I don't like you kind of build a glass house when you do shit like that.
You know what I mean?
You kind of seem like this, like, ballbuster person who, like, yeah,
you know, misleads interview subjects.
So now if I was to meet him, I'd be like, hey, I happen to see you online,
you have these charges, can we talk about that?
But you know, I don't like,
my style's changed a lot since those days.
So I don't like ambushing people.
Your style's changed so frigging much, dude.
You've evolved.
I had to.
So good, it's so great.
Hey man.
Yeah, I was talking to you outside about
the end of the Trump convoy thing at the border.
I thought that was great when you were like,
let's not make fun of these guys.
Let's figure out why they're doing this.
Like it doesn't help at all when people show up
and are like, look how dumb these people are.
It's like, that's only gonna make them more against you.
I don't know.
Although I will say, I saw,
not that this is totally similar to what we're talking about.
I saw a black dude wearing a MAGA shirt yesterday
when I was leaving the airport.
Shit pumps me up.
I can't deny it, that shit fires me up.
See a fucking black dude who's jacked wearing a MAGA,
like the fucking Predator shield on it,
the Punisher, I always say Predator.
It's Punisher.
He got the Punisher shield on there,
I was like, let's go, brother.
I wonder if it was MAa Hulk that you saw.
Maga Hulk?
He wasn't that, he wasn't Hulk status.
Because there's a huge black bodybuilder dude
who's like Trump's most loyal California soldier.
Maga Hulk is California's most loyal.
I appreciate that you liked that part.
I think that's the most important part of it.
I think that like 95% of people
don't have hate in their hearts.
I think that they think that they're advocating
for the right cause.
So when you talk to people,
it's not like they're spewing racist bullshit or whatever. Like they're just normal people who think they're advocating for the right cause so when you talk to people It's not like they're spewing racist bullshit or whatever like they're just normal people who think they're there for the right reasons
So you got to figure out why start with that lead with that and then see if you can have a real conversation
But too much of the news is already has the agenda laid out
So you're going in hot trying to make people look a certain way because you want to rise in the ranks of whatever corporate newsroom
That's worse than that and the same it's also on the conservative side, you feel me?
They don't want to possibly admit that they're
wrong about anything.
And so when I was at that trucker convoy,
it was half mainstream Democrat reporters from ABC
and Comedy Central who were there to make them
look as stupid as possible.
And the other half is conservatives
who were just raising funds and just figuring out
how to make money off the situation.
Like, oh, can you z sell me for gas money so we
can go defend the border it's the typical playbook of like because the
the on the conservative side it's more like just individuals hustling their
supporters for money whereas on like the more like Democrat side it's like a
larger force at play yeah it's you know what I'm saying
absolutely everyone's finessing in their own. Yeah lane. Yeah But becoming conservative
But start finessing
Give me some gas money
I'm your sponsor
About candy you did get some jelly dude. Jelly beans is the best candy.
Jelly beans is not the best candy.
That's a crazy take.
It's not.
No?
It's across the board.
Everyone's gonna disagree with you.
Jelly beans are so fucking good, dude.
Jelly beans are the best candy?
They're not top 10.
They're top 10 for Easter.
For Easter?
They're top 10? Easter. For Easter? We're top 10.
That's a deep breath.
Top 10 for Easter.
Bro was like letting that stew for like 30 seconds.
He was like, fuck.
Top 10 for Easter.
Yeah, yeah, Steve.
I was going to LaGuardia with some of my great friends from Austin.
Oh shit, they're here.
Quintessential Palm Beach, baby.
I absolutely love this. It'sessential Palm Beach, Pookie.
I absolutely love this.
It's giving Palm Beach vibes,
and Kentucky vibes, Chanel vibes.
Why does he sound like that?
Thank you, Ray.
I'm too excited.
What fucking accent is that?
He's slaving over.
Kentucky vibes.
I've never heard anyone sound like that anywhere.
Yeah, he's awesome.
Yeah, that's fucking sick.
He's the man. People were trying to hate on him and now they love him. Now
they're like everyone loves Pookie and Jet. I think yeah.
Shout out Pookie and Jet. Yeah, they will. Shout out to them
bro. Luke Belmar is the fucking man dude. I'm back on Luke.
Nothing but positive vibes dude. I don't want to make fun of
these anybody. No, hell no. Only positivity up in here. Luke
Belmar is the fucking man. He is, all these people we talked about.
They are really funny.
So, Elliot Harvey fucking rules.
Elliot is my favorite, I wanna talk to him so bad.
Like, I wanna go to one of these sales conferences.
Because being a used car salesman
is inherently built on like deception.
I sold cars.
You sold them?
I sold cars and that's one of the reasons also
I had like an instant dislike for it.
Was like, I was imagining if I showed up to work
and they're like we're going to a work conference today.
Or like there was a mandatory work conference
at my dealership.
You have to be one of the people in that conference room
where he's like going around like, you're fat.
He said they're like dude I'm fucking done dude.
I'm selling cars, I gotta call me fat.
Do you love selling your cars? Do you fucking love it?
I'm just like, no, I don't wanna do this.
What kind of dealership was it?
It was a Honda dealership.
Oh nice.
Yeah, real low pressure, it was great.
Those things practically sell themselves.
At least you're selling reliable cars.
Yeah, I was just like, do you want a quarter CRV or whatever?
We got it.
If you don't want it, that's fine.
So what is the main way to make sure that you land a sale?
I was not the best salesman.
I was very, I was too low pressure.
I was genuinely, I was genuinely like, if you leave this dealership, go to our competitors,
get a price from them, come back.
I'll have to match it or beat it.
I don't care how much you pay for the car.
I'd rather you pay the cheapest amount.
And I would go in and get them the slip to show them how much we paid for the
Car yeah, I'm like this is close to as low as I can get it so you weren't deceiving these people
No, but they thought I was because I was doing all that yeah, there were certain people that were like you fucking scumbag
Yeah, and I was like I swear to God I
Don't want to be here
Yeah, where'd you go to college at? Westchester.
Oh my God, that's where I was born.
Yeah, Westchester was the shit.
While I was born at Bryn Mawr Hospital.
Hell yeah.
Did you go to college at the same time
that Asher Roth made the I Love College anthem?
I was there when it was going around.
It was, it was, let me see.
What a legendary time.
Had to be like 2010, 2010, 2011.
I think it was, yeah, I Love College.
Was the album Sleeping in the Bread Owl?
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that.
I wanna go to college for the rest of my life.
I mean, he's 38.
It was probably around the same time.
He's 38?
I'm still in college.
What, you?
Yeah, it was right when I got there.
Did you live in the borough?
Yeah, I lived, yeah, In town, it was awesome.
That's sick.
I was, that's where we were filming our show.
That's on Netflix.
So I was just there.
In Westchester?
I was in Westchester yesterday.
Nice.
I love it.
You and Bam Margera are two Westchester legends.
I love it.
This is a high cultural output.
I believe Madis Yahu.
Madis Yahu is from Westchester?
I believe. He does like a monthly show at Stubbs here. Asher Roth, Madis Yahoo. Madis Yahoo is from Westchester? I believe.
He does like a monthly show at Stubbs here.
Asher Roth, Madis Yahoo, Bam and me.
Yeah.
Although I'm in Canterbury, I'm in Canterbury all day.
Yeah.
Madis Yahoo is Westchester, let's go.
Dude, so the SNL moment, you tired of talking about it?
No, I don't care.
It was pretty neat.
To have that full circle, like,
did you feel like more gratitude or more vengeance? Definitely, I don't care. It was pretty neat to have that full circle. Like did you feel like more gratitude or more vengeance?
Definitely. I don't want to say gratitude because that's lame. But yes, like were you like fuck you guys on back or no
No, no, there was no that's good. There was almost no part of me. That was like in your fucking face
So you've just grown a lot the past couple years. I didn't really feel that way then either. Mm-hmm
Like when I was getting fired, I was kind of of like yeah. So you just like you just take a step and stride basically.
Kind of the whole time you're like I knew this was gonna happen.
The entire time I was like there's no way I'm getting hired on this. Yeah and I did I did think it was funny
as soon as I got done with my monologue there were articles about how I sucked
and I bombed. That was was funny. I like after the show
I was like there was a party we were I was in the car on the way to the after party and I was like
I'll find I'll look at the internet now
I took I turned my phone off the whole week because I knew everything was gonna be that type of shit
And then I was like, yeah, let's see what the internet can't talk shit on that
Let's see what the fucking liberals have to say now
Yahoo news Shane Gillis bombs. That's like a headline. I was like, oh man. He definitely did not know I didn't I was happy with it
It was really cool. It was very nice. My family was there. It was a
Truly there's you know, it was like happy. I was happy for like an hour after the show You got an hour of happiness. I got an hour. It's rare It's more than most people get yeah
It felt good as far as bombing like that seems like the most difficult part of becoming a stand-up comedian, right?
Yeah, just said that fucking pressure of perhaps doing that sounds like a nightmare
Absolute silence and no
That's the worst like at least if people hate it,
you can be like, yeah, fuck you.
And end up like, I did a show,
I'd say it was like two years ago,
it was at The Cellar.
There's a club downstairs I killed,
and then I had to go straight away upstairs,
and I was on next.
So this is all within two minutes of getting off stage,
I got on stage on the next show and got zero.
Like not even, no one was upset, no one was laughing.
It was just dead silence.
For 15 fucking minutes of just quiet.
And then I did a Trump impression at the end
and they were like, yeah, this is really funny.
And I was like, no, fuck you guys.
You guys hated me.
No, it was in New York.
It was in, yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah.
Just hit a rare fucking absolute zero from the jump.
Flank tire.
And I also, I think it was because I went in
with the energy of like, phew, I just killed down there.
Because in your head, you're like,
this crowd's gonna be hot too.
They love me downstairs.
You go up to me like, hey, what's up everybody?
Just instantly, they're like, ew.
Yeah, we did a fucking tour for Channel 5,
for the movie we did a couple years ago,
and I have no idea how to do stand up,
but I had to do a 10 minute monologue
before every screening,
and so I was doing so badly at first
that I would just start complimenting the city
the whole time, and everyone was like, yeah!
So I remember I got in Fresno, and I was like,
you know what guys, people wanna come to California,
they wanna go to San Diego, Santa Barbara,
Los Angeles, San Francisco,
but there's no California without Fresno.
And everyone's like, yeah.
So I would just filibuster for 10 minutes straight
by being like, let's go Bulldogs.
I just went over to the Trader Joe's, that place is awesome.
And I just kept going and it worked for me.
So that's my strategy.
Oh, that really works. People respond to regional uh yeah you know appeasement.
Yeah they really do. Did you guys talk to uh Jeffrey Johns down by the highway?
That's my guy. Cincinnati was the easiest because of the Skyline Chili I just brought the chili on
stage and like pull it out
I was like don't you guys hate Cleveland?
It became so easy yeah, it's very fun you can do that. That's very easy Yeah, it's more fun to go on and make fun of it. Mm-hmm shit on it
What do you think's the easiest city to shit on?
Peoria
What do you think is the easiest city to shit on? Peoria.
Peoria, the people of Peoria got very upset with me.
Yeah, I guess on Rogan I said it was the biggest shithole.
The guy who works, somebody from like the government there
sent me like a care package, like a shirt that's very funny.
It's like Peoria, it's not that bad.
I take it back, Peoria is not that bad. It's not the worst the worst city
To perform in I've ever had was Bakersfield, California. Wow, that was the worst. Okay. They were just rowdy
It was all like oil workers like dudes that worked on an oil rig there in the oil fields
Yeah, and they got to yeah, it was like yeah, they were just hammered yelling. They're pent up, bro. Yeah, and they got to, yeah, it was like, yeah, they were just hammered yelling.
They were having fun, but it's hard to try to do
your little act while dudes are out there like,
ugh, tend to Trump now.
Sideys.
Yeah.
Where's Matt?
Indiana's got some rough spots.
Oh yeah, Indianapolis. Indiana, yeah. I actually like Indianapolis. Which one, Gary's got some rough spots. Oh yeah, Indiana.
Indiana, yeah.
I actually like Indianapolis.
Which one?
Gary's pretty rough too.
Gary's fucking rough.
Gary doesn't exist.
Everyone's living in a shed there.
Yeah.
Have you seen the houses there?
It's fucking wild.
Isn't that where Michael Jackson's from?
Yeah.
And Freddie Gibbs.
Yeah, they got some good ones.
Pioria's got, what's his name?
They got Kinnison and Pryor.
Yeah.
Dude, I was on the plane like a month ago in first class
and I was sitting next to this Anheuser-Busch representative
and I was like, how you doing?
He's like, we're fucking coming back.
I'm like, what do you mean?
He's like, we got fucking Shane Gillis.
I'm like, really?
He's like, all that shit from last year?
No one's even gonna fucking remember that.
He's like, we got this shit.
He's like, don't tell anybody else.
I was like, I want to say we got fucking Shane. He was amped up, bro. I know he's gonna watch this tell anybody else like I want to fucking
shame he was amped up bro I know he's gonna watch this man yeah they're gonna be pumped
yeah you know what's funny is that's how they are a lot of those guys yeah I'm
friends with a lot of those guys I'm sure I knew the person it was probably so
yeah they get fired up they came to they came to the they came to Austin they
came to the Rogan's Club, and they got after it.
It was like the night we were agreeing on
me signing with Bud Light, and they got after it.
I was surprised.
Thank God something was done.
I was in Central Iowa, and I ordered a Bud Light,
and dude, it was intense.
I was like, I'll grab a Bud Light,
and they're like, you want that rainbow beer?
I was like, what?
They're like, here you go, here's your Bud Light. Everyone's like, I'll grab a Bud Light. And they're like, you want that rainbow beer? And I was like, what? They're like, here you go.
Here's your Bud Light.
Everyone's like, fuck you guys.
Yeah, they held it down.
A lot of dudes held it down.
They were pissed.
Fuck you.
And they're like, where are you guys from?
California?
And I was like, no.
And he's like, well, I'm not going there.
I was like, why?
There you go.
I've seen the videos.
I'm like, of what?
I know what videos they're talking about,
but he was like, the ones with the stealing.
Yeah, I was like, did I do that shit?
Yeah.
Yeah, the, yeah.
A lot of bros call Flack for still support
for supporting Bud Light during the dark times.
I held so strong, dude.
Yeah, held it down, dude.
I held it down.
Hold!
Yeah, I was like, we're gonna be back, dude.
Yeah, people really overreacted about that shit.
Yeah, I know.
It's like calm the fuck down.
And also the thing is it didn't fuck any of the people
that made any of those decisions at Bud Light.
It only fucked all the distributors,
all these like normal dudes.
Yeah.
Like middle class, they got fucked.
Right.
You know?
Yeah.
I don't know if you saw like Sturgis Bike Week last year,
they had like a Bud Light tent that was just totally vacant.
All right, right next to it's like Corzine Miller. You can't even fucking walk around
Jesus guys. Yeah, go grab a bud
My dad's on it. My dad's holding strong now. Yeah for or against but he's for oh nice
But now he goes he lives in mechanics, so he goes to like shitty bars. Yeah, I look like at first
they like hitting you a bud light and they're like
Yeah
My dad's just sitting there by himself.
If you go to a bar in Mechanicsburg,
do you see Steelers flags and shit?
Yeah, there's a lot of Steelers fans.
Mechanicsburg's a lot of Steelers.
Mechanicsburg's split, say 60, 40 Steelers.
There's some Raven heads in there too.
Oh yeah, a lot of Ravens.
Why?
It's close to Baltimore.
Baltimore's the closest.
I love that place.
Yeah, Baltimore?
Yeah.
Weird Boston.
People hate on it, but it's sick.
There's some good parts.
Yeah.
Fell's point.
Hamden.
Hamden.
Hamden.
Two Hamden men.
Dude, I was in Boston.
Boston's so nice.
It's sick.
I can't believe how nice, obviously,
the nice part of Boston is like, it's easily
the nicest Northeast city.
Even like around Boston is nice, too. Yeah. Just northeast city. Even like around Boston is nice too.
Like you just like leave like.
Yeah, Cambridge is nice.
Yeah.
Somerville, Everett.
Fox, Foxborough, is that it?
That's where the Patriots play.
It's out there, yeah.
Yeah, all right, cool.
Hell yeah, bro.
What's your favorite city?
My favorite state, city?
City.
City.
Right here in Austin, Texas, brother.
It's pretty nice.
It's actually pretty nice, yeah.
Yeah, like Austin's pretty fucking good. Every's pretty nice. It's actually pretty awesome.
It's pretty good.
Every time I go somewhere else, I'm like,
I can't wait to get back to get back to that nice long day.
Nashville is fun.
Yeah.
That's real rules.
You guys ever been to Yuma, Arizona?
No, I have.
I was out there.
I was staying at Bismey, Arizona.
That's not too far.
Wild West town.
Yeah.
Is Yuma, is that after the movie?
Three Tenths?
The movie's after it, yeah.
It's technically the hottest city in the US,
like 128 in the summer.
God damn.
I can't go to any really hot places.
I know I'm gonna be a complete puddle this summer,
but I can't really.
You need me to start doing Pookie and Jet videos.
Where I get to fucking dress you up. I can't believe we need to start doing Pookie and Jet videos.
Where I get to fucking dress you up. I go, Pookie looks absolutely stunning today.
He's wearing swim trunks and a Hawaiian shirt.
Pookie looks amazing tonight.
He's got on these.
Sketches from Target.
These shoes are sick, man.
Thanks. I just got these.
I didn't know you had shoe swag.
Are they? Yes, bro. What the hell?
Yes. A graffiti writer from Australia with those. Yeah.
Joel, a fucking swastika.
What a fucking spray paint is what's going on this fucking average in his head.
Spray paint a swastika on this fucking aborigines head. That type of graffiti or what type of graffiti?
Yeah that type of graffiti.
Talking about a guy outside of Lebron James house that one time?
Wait what happened at Lebron James house?
I don't know. I think it was a false flag.
Oh okay. He tried to get a Bruce Lee Wallace.
I think that one was a false flag.
Was it the NASCAR guy?
NASCAR was a false leg was the NASCAR guy that was a false leg
Bubba Wallace
That destroyed Talladega race weekend for a lot of people it did shit back when I used to go to Talladega like it was
Way more rowdy. Yeah now that kind of polarized the community are you a raceman?
Like the people with the races yeah, it's fun
I like to be in the lot across the street
where all the camper vans are at.
Speaking of false flag graffiti,
do you guys remember that white guy from Ohio
who said that he was being targeted
by anti-white vandals?
And he spray painted his own house
with Crips rule and shit?
You guys gotta look this up.
Holy shit, that's so funny.
I'm gonna go talk to him.
Cause he still stands strong.
He's like, no, they did this.
They did it? I love when dudes stand strong him. Cause he still stands strong. He's like, no, they did this. They did it.
I love when dudes stand strong after.
Is there like proof of him actually doing it?
No, but it's like he lives in the middle of the suburbs
and like, it's like, it's like blacks rule,
Crips rock, like all this crazy shit.
You know what I mean?
It's like, whitey sucks, all this shit.
He's like, they're coming after me now.
It's like, I don't think they are.
They actually might, if I was a kid, I would do that.
One white guy in the neighborhood.
That's a black kid.
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
I'd throw rocks at his house.
Yeah.
Not if it was the other way around.
But yes, in that scenario, yes.
Yeah, you're a little black kid.
If I was a little black kid and there was one white house.
Yeah. Yeah, I'd be all over that.
I'd be all over the fucking house. Yeah.
Burn a cross on his lawn. Yeah. That'd be hilarious.
Now that my favorite holding it down was the translator,
the guy who got on stage with Obama in South Africa.
It was a it was a thing for Nelson Mandela.
And the guy pretended he was a translator and just stood on stage
directly next to Barack Obama just like
He didn't speak silent he had no idea he never turns out
Fucking schizophrenic He's like, I have no idea what I'm doing. He's like, yeah, I got out of a mental hospital
and went straight there.
Wait, so nobody even hired him?
No, he just showed up and was like, I'm the interpreter.
You can do that.
People, there's a whole thing of people getting in trouble
for being a fake interpreter.
Just showing up.
And then sometimes they're very serious.
Sometimes it's like a missing woman
or like they found the body of a child or something
and there's somebody at the police press conference
next to it like.
Pfft, pfft.
That's amazing.
Yeah, just up there.
The peekaboo murder case.
The peekaboo murder.
Oh man, so you're sticking around tonight? I think so, man. I'm down.
Those Bud Lights look nice on you.
By the way, this guy gifted me these sick ass Bud Light Air Force 1s.
They keep sending me Bud Light Air Force 1s.
I refuse to wear them. They're very nice.
I'm going to wear this shit every day for the next month.
You know who got me these?
Shane Giles.
Post Malone.
Um...
They are fresh, dude.
Yeah, we should be good. That's about time.
Um, dude, thanks a lot.
Oh, fuck you.
Is there anything you want to talk about?
No.
Is there anything you want to promote or anything?
Oh, shit, no.
Okay, cool.
I just wanted to hang out and chill.
Should we promote anything? No. No, no. Okay, cool. I just wanted to hang out and chill. All right, cool, cool. Should we promote anything?
No. No, no, no.
You're more than welcome to.
Just follow rule number one.
Hell yeah.
Have fun.
Panties in my mouth podcast, please.
Say it with your chest.
I said it, dude.
Panties in my mouth podcast, go ahead, give her a listen.
Yeah, listen to it.
Thank you.
We miss you, Matthew.