My Brother, My Brother And Me - MBMBaM 708: Make those Bills Rainable
Episode Date: April 22, 2024It’s that time of year again! April the Twentieth has become so mainstream that the stores are crowded because of all the crime sales so instead lets talk about some other important things, like how... to be respected for your soup, raw broccoli, and how helicopters work. Suggested talking points: The Implied existence of Drug Heavy Zones, Soup is Earned, Can't Make It Rain Plasma, Stank Green the Helicopter Expert, Wet Box of Non-Soup Food Palestine Children's Relief Fund: https://www.pcrf.net/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The McElroy brothers are not experts and their advice should never be followed.
Travis insists he's a sexpert, but if there's a degree on his wall, I haven't seen it.
Also, this show isn't for kids, which I mention only so the babies out there will know how cool they are for listening.
What's up, you cool baby?
One, two, three, four!
It's the start of something beautiful
A small acquaintance has blossomed
It's ripened into a precious friendship
I could've never seen what was coming for me
Hangs at the skate park, hangs by the beach
My life, it feels like
Life, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with you
My life, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with you
This is true, ah ah ah
It's better, it's better with two
My life, ah ah ah It's better, it's better with two By way of
I
It's better with you
Hello everybody and welcome to my brother, my brother and me and advice show for the modern era
I'm your oldest brother, Justin McElroy
What up, Trav Nation? I'm your middle-est brother, Travis McElroy
Woof woof, big dog
Travis, stay to me
Aw, Griff.
What's wrong, buddy?
You weren't here.
You weren't here for your birthday.
You weren't here.
I'm Griffin McRoy, the birthday boy.
Actually, by the time this episode comes out,
it will be dead ass 12 days after my birthday,
so we're stretching the day.
No, Griffin, this episode is going out same today.
It's only been five days since your birthday.
Oh, okay, well that's fine.
Okay, that's not our fault though, Griffin,
because your birthday at 424,
within as you like to call it, a Griffin weekend,
then you went to Joshua Tree and did Ayahuasca with Bono.
No, I didn't.
And then it lines up, Griffin calls him
Good Friday and great Sunday.
And those are his two.
And Jesus loves that.
He thinks that's like mad funny.
I hate guys.
Hey guys, can I say something?
I'm pretty bold, but I think that if Jesus
was around today, he'd fucking love weed.
Whoa, Travis.
That's cool, dude.
This is so weird to say.
I've never thought about, I've never thought about it,
but I bet he probably
would like to party.
Yeah, man, I think he'd be into that chill cush.
I did not do Ayahuasca with Bono at Joshua Tree.
Oh, then what happened?
I did do Datura with the Edge,
and that is a similar experience?
That is a similar experience? To nosh on that good flower with the edge and that is a similar experience? That is a similar experience to not to nosh
on that good flower with the edge.
When you're on the Deterra
and you're activating your spirit molecule,
the edge starts to look a lot like Bono.
Like you really edges of him, the edge, ironically,
the edges of the edge vanish and he's,
I mean, he's Bono, he's everyone.
Does he get angry if you just call him Edge?
Like, will he respond to it?
I mean, do you call the rock Rock?
Hello, Rock.
No, he's not any old Rock.
Well, I call him Dwayne Johnson, but famously the Edge,
I don't think the man has no, the Edge has no name.
I don't know if there's- He has no name.
He hasn't jizzed in 16 years.
Oh!
That's how seriously-
That's how he got the nickname.
That's how seriously he takes his art and his craft.
A lot of people think Bono
is the driving creative force in U2.
He jizzes all the time.
He did-
Constantly.
Constantly jizzing a little bit.
Yeah.
Did you guys hit up any of the big 420 sales this year?
Coles had some good ones.
Yeah.
My dispensary a few days prior, the guy said,
make sure you come back in on 420, man.
We're gonna have some great sales.
It's gonna be crazy.
And I was thinking about it and I was like,
that sounds intriguing, but the thing that is not missing
from the dispensary experience for me is crowding.
Yeah.
I don't think I need to pack, I don't think we need to pack
everybody in at one time to really heighten that experience.
Yeah.
I think this one doesn't need to be a shopping holiday.
You know what I mean?
Not everyone needs to be about commercialism.
And it's really sad to see it perverted that way,
I guess is is my point.
I would also argue that maybe not only crowding,
but maybe the least enjoyable version of people
who would visit a dispensary,
which is before they get weed.
Right. Exactly.
Like, nobody's going to the dispensary
when they already have plenty of weed, right?
They're going to, because they need to get more.
Right.
And it's all still a federal crime.
I want to make that really clear.
So wicked clear.
Because you can forget that often.
And then you're like, oh, we've got this one day
where we're going to get all the criminals in one building.
We're doing a sale on crime today.
We're doing a crime sale.
We want to get all the criminals in one building. We're doing a crime scene, we wanna get all the criminals in one building.
We're doing a super special, a blue light special
on illegal medicine.
You're gonna love it.
That would be actually a pretty fun guy to be an FBI guy.
That day would be pretty good,
cause you can stand across the street like,
mm, I don't know, maybe.
It's like when I got busted for weed at Bonnaroo,
and the guy just walked up and was like, yeah. it's like, I got, you're doing it.
Right, I got you, you're doing it,
you have a big bag of it, I got you.
Now hold on, that's unfair,
because I've seen signs and stuff of places that are like,
this is a drug-free zone.
So there should be signs at Bonnaroo that are like,
this is a drug zone.
Like if we're gonna have drug-free zones,
it implies the existence of drug heavy zones.
This was aught nine, I said, bye, haven't been back since.
Coachella, does Coachella like to fucking party?
I don't know.
I know nothing about Coachella
except that I would bet you a million doll hairs
that you're not allowed into Coachella without drugs.
I think that they planned the event,
like the Wonka event that was in Ireland, I think,
or it was like, this would be so much better
if you were on drugs.
I think Coachella skimps on a lot of decorations
and experience, assuming you'll be on drugs
and it won't take much.
To accentuate it.
Justin, and Justin, what was your joke?
I can tell it's bottled up in there
and I do not want it to.
No, I just get, God, just, I don't have it anymore.
I said it's just gone. Oh, juice, no, it'll fester in there, but I need that joke. I said it and it's bottled up in there and I do not want it to. No, I just get God just I don't have it anymore. I said it was gone.
Oh, juice, no, it'll fester in there,
but I need that joke.
I said it and it's gone.
I said it and it's gone.
Was it about Griffin being on a wanted poster?
Yes, it was.
It was about Griffin being on a wanted poster.
Whoa, that's dope that Travis interrupted you
and also heard the thing you were saying.
That was so frustrating.
Well, the ADHD, I've never understood ADHD.
It doesn't bother him to make the show in this fashion.
Right.
This is how he is consuming and creating the media
at once, they're both happening.
Right, I didn't know ADHD allows you to bifurcate
your whole, like, all our, your brain to do the,
wow, that's incredible.
Travis, you're leaning back and you shifted the focus
to the YouTube silver play button award behind you
and every time I see it, it drives me absolutely apeshit.
Travis moves his camera in his office orientation
constantly, but every time in the shot
is Travis's silver play button.
And he could say because it makes it look more professional,
but it's just to antagonize us.
And he has this cool button that we don't have.
With a skeleton puppet in front of it.
Yeah.
Don't worry.
From the Jeff Dunham collection, right, Travis?
Bust us out some of that good Achmed, my man.
Give us, break me off a piece of that racist doll.
Hey Griffin, you don't get a YouTube silver play button
for being racist.
Yes. Yeah.
That's a good point, Travis.
Ask anybody.
Yeah.
It's not just about subscribers.
No.
It's about the quality of a man's character.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a big part of it.
They weigh that heavily.
When you are influencing people,
then make sure that it's not like good influencing.
They have to, you got to.
Yeah.
YouTube's on it.
They're very careful.
Do you think YouTube sends the awards to channels
that are just like, here's a 10 hour long video
of a watermelon getting smashed over
and everyone getting to help you sleep?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's eight bars of the same sort of binaural beats
for 10 and a half hours.
Oh, what's that?
An emerald button?
Holy shit.
Wow.
This is an advice show,
and we're gonna take your questions
and turn them out to be like into wisdom.
I didn't mean to come for the binaural beats community
just now.
No, they've been very helpful.
Yeah, I don't wanna own that, that's not-
They make a lot of work, they do a lot of work.
Well, they do eight bars of a song
that they repeat for 10 and a half hours.
I don't do that!
That's a lot more than me, 100% more binaural beats.
For sure, for sure, for sure.
I'm only making single binaural beats.
And let me just say,
Uniloral.
When I doubled down just then binaural beats community,
that was also a JK, so like fucking chill.
Just call it out.
But also when are you gonna get to try binaural beats?
I need more beats for more binaurals.
Please. I work in a public school and I have a guinea pig at home. I need more beats for more norils, please.
I work in a public school and I have a guinea pig at home.
My boss, this is starting out to be a very good Tinder profile.
Let's go.
Or a riddle that I think.
I'm gonna go look at this fish I caught.
My boss knows this, so every time the cafeteria has leftover or unclaimed carrots,
she gives them to me for my guinea pig.
The problem is there's no possible way my one guinea pig and I can eat all these carrots before they go bad.
There are just too many.
Brothers, how do I tell my boss
that I don't want any more carrots?
Or how do I use all the carrots?
And that's from I have to go buy more ranch.
Now hold on, hold on.
I'm sorry, Question Asker.
I missed the part where your principal is giving them
for you to eat too.
Sounds like these carrots are for the guinea pig.
Why are you eating your guinea pig's carrots?
Yeah, that's a really good point.
I think you're already violating the spirit
of the arrangement by eating any of the carrots.
These are for you.
I don't know if you like carrots or not.
Do you make the guinea pig watch while you eat his carrots?
Cause I bet that's pretty confusing for the guinea pig.
If your principal brought these into you
and you're like, hey, thanks,
and went ahead and took a bite off one,
if I was that principal, I'd be like,
what the fuck are you doing?
Those are the guinea pig's carrots.
You cut up the carrots, cut them up,
put them in some chicken broth with some onions.
And then you cook them until they're soft, real soft,
immersion blender, whoo, got soup gone.
Okay, but a guinea pig can't eat soup, Justin.
A guinea pig hates soup.
Well, you bring the soup back to the school.
For the kids?
For the kids.
That's cool.
I make this for the kids.
Where's the step where somebody puts a stone
into the big thing before the-
You could do that.
I think for kids to eat soup at school,
you have to put a stone in it first and read stone soup.
Or else kids won't eat soup.
If I was teacher or principal-
Or guinea pig? Oh, God.
No, if I was principal,
I would bring soup in all the time for my lovely kids.
Easy.
A bowl, maybe even, and whoever does the best job at school that day
gets the principal's special soup.
Absolutely not.
There's no friggin' way.
The kind of principal I am,
there's no way that these kids,
I'm not gonna give them the bait of me every morning
trying to shepherd a boiling hot vat of soup.
No, one bowl.
One bowl just for the good boy.
Oh, just one? One bowl for the good boy only. Oh, it'sat of soup. No, one bowl. One bowl just for the good boy. Oh, just one?
One bowl for the good boy only.
Oh, it's an award soup.
It's an award soup.
Reverse chocolate cake.
Yeah.
Crunch bowl situation.
No.
Now everybody watch as good boy Billy eats this soup.
Every morning we hold an assembly at my school.
Oh, it's morning soup?
Where I'm principal and we make the best kid
eat the bowl of soup.
Sometimes. In the morning?
Sometimes it takes a long time
because kids these days are allergic to a bunch of shit.
But it would be so cool to have people love and respect me
because of my soup and my leadership.
Sometimes though, Griffin, I need to send a message.
And on those days, I'm not gonna give the soup to anybody.
If you're gonna eat the soup.
I'm gonna eat the soup in front of,
or I'll be like, maybe one of you all turns it around today,
you got gazpacho by two.
That's heavy.
But you have a few, before I dump it,
but you got a little bit of time to earn the soup.
You want my soup?
Get up here and arm wrestle me.
The principal.
Oh, whoever can.
You guys come take it.
You want the soup?
I'm gonna teach you a lesson about life.
Soup isn't given, soup is earned.
Come up here and take this soup.
This is a problem also with like,
obviously food waste is a problem.
There's people in every community.
Tell me about it, food goes straight to my waste.
That needs, that would.
Ah!
Oh.
No, Justin, come back.
Justin, come back. Justin, come back. Justin had to quit the podcast with my children's figure. Justin, come back, Justin, come back, Justin, come back.
Justin had to quit the podcast with my jokes.
Justin, come back, come on.
Okay, I'm back on.
It was a good joke.
I mean, it was a terrible joke, but it was said boldly.
Not even such, yeah, it's...
I think I was gonna say...
In hindsight, I think I was gonna say something like,
anybody you would give these carrots to
would eventually get tired of you bringing them carrots.
There's nobody that wants you to bring them carrots
infinitely, because that's just passing the problem
on to you.
Is carrots one of them vegetables where you can stick
whatever's left of it in the ground
and more of the vegetable will grow?
Because you could do that with like, I think onion, potato. Sure. vegetables where you can stick whatever's left of it in the ground and more of the vegetable will grow.
Cause you could do that with like, I think onion, potato.
Sure.
Sorry, Trev.
Your solution to this problem is double the problem.
Put in a little elbow grease to make the problem
twice as bad for yourself.
Well, now you've got a farmer's market going.
You know what I mean?
Now you're turning these extra carrots
into a financial opportunity. Can I go back to the principal's market going, you know? Now you're turning these extra carrots into a financial opportunity.
Can I go back to the principal's morning soup for a second?
I would love to, I feel like we've really splashed past it.
I think that more places need to institute
kind of what they used to do on cruise lines.
I don't know if they still do this, but a captain's table?
I think we need that, like a principal's table,
a boss's table, something where it's just like,
you've been selected to dine at the boss's table today.
You've been chosen.
They already do it on the JoCo cruise.
I don't know why we can't do it.
There's JoCo's table, right?
And that's where the fancy folks sit.
That's where the power is.
That's where the power is, right?
I walked past it one time and kind of like,
I had an empty seat and I was like, walked past it one time and kind of like,
I had an empty seat and I was like, nah.
And the Amy man was like, keep walking.
Keep walking. Keep going, butt.
Seats taken.
Butt.
I'm no Darius Bully, Amy man.
Get out of here.
Somebody save me from this boring man.
Keep walking, butt.
She does that shit so Jonathan doesn't have to.
Yeah. She's found its muscle.
Magnolia, how about you Magolia away?
That's cool.
You're getting it on purpose.
That kicks ass.
Henry's school had an auction,
and one of the items up for bid was principal for a day,
where if you win the bid, be principal for a day.
And I looked at that and I thought it was
prohibitively expensive, but I was like,
what would I, what would I do?
So I was like thinking about it for a long time,
like what kind of changes I would institute
on this one zany day at Henry's school.
And I started to share some of those ideas with Rachel.
And then she was like,
you know that's for the kids, right?
Ha ha!
And I was like, what?
She was like, yeah.
It's for the kids to be principal for a day
to see what it's like to be the adult principal of the school.
It's not for a grownup doesn't win this auction
and then walk into school the next morning like,
I'm in charge now.
Your wife is right, I think, but also in many ways,
I would argue it makes more sense for an adult
to take over the role of principal
because there's a lot of responsibility there.
Sure.
Yeah, what if this child principal makes a role
that the parents have to go to school instead of the kids?
Right.
I'd rather, I have a job.
Yeah, what, are doctors just gonna leave people
on the slab?
Come on, man.
Okay, now their blood's on your hands.
Yeah, right.
Okay, now the blood's on your hands.
Griffin, what were some of those changes?
This is important now.
Yeah, what would you have changed about your son's school?
Hopefully they listen, so be honest.
Two days a week, but it's all fucking dead.
It is an overnight, two night a week sort of experience.
Then you get five days to just kind of chill.
That actually sounds awful.
Yeah, I was hearing that, and as a parent,
and if I was a kid, I would hate that.
I liked a couple nights.
A couple parts of it were extremely strong.
Could you start school more at like nine o'clock?
That would be wonderful for me.
Yeah.
Okay, double the length of the school day,
but make school more fun to be at.
Or any fun.
If you don't like four square or soccer,
like any fucking fun at all.
Yeah. And make a rule that like,
the sports kids have to be nice to the indoor kids.
Absolutely they do.
I wanna triple, quadruple the quotient of niceness
that sports kids showed it.
Now here's what we do, we weaponize Amy Mann,
we have Amy Mann show up and bully the jocks.
So the jock kids bully the nerd kids,
but then who's that?
It's Amy Mann.
She's drill bit tailoring.
If you hire Amy Mann as drill bit tailor
during your principal day, that you've grand fought,
it's like Supreme Court.
That's a lifelong term.
She's a PE teacher.
Oh, yes.
She's a PE teacher, personal emotions teacher, Amy Mann.
Yes.
She teaches-
You got your personal emotions. Personal emotions. Yeah, teaches you personal emotions teacher, Amy Mann. Yes. She teaches- You got your personal emotions.
Personal emotions.
Yeah, teaches you personal emotions.
Get a second, Guinea Pig?
That's good.
More Guinea Pigs, more mouths, less carrots, more fun.
More fun.
More fun.
They say there's no bad ideas.
That's a great example of like,
we had to talk about what a gigantic,
well-known bully Amy Mann is on and off the screen.
And that brought Travis back around to a very good idea, which is more social animals.
They want the companionship when you're not around.
And so do you.
Yeah.
It's just twice as much love.
Hey, listen, if you like a guinea pig enough to have a guinea pig, you'd probably like two guinea pigs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you have the carrots to spare,
so you don't have to worry about extra food.
You have the sparrots.
And they don't get scarier when there's more of them.
I get it.
Carrots?
No, guinea pigs.
You take a look at a cat and you're like,
that's too much. And a guinea pig is like a quarter at a cat, and you're like, that's too much.
And a guinea pig is like a quarter of a cat.
It's already not enough is what you're saying.
Yes, but four of them, that's so much love.
Just let them just scamper all about.
Four guinea pigs equals one cat,
one and a half cats equals one dog,
two dogs equals a mouse, strangely.
I don't, yeah, it comes back around.
No, check this out.
Freeze them.
The guinea pigs?
No, the carrots freeze them.
They'll stay fresh.
Yeah.
And then imagine, imagine this delight
on this guinea pig's face.
He's like, what is this?
This frozen carrots aresickle?
That's gonna help keep their chompers down,
because the chompers keep growing,
and that's gonna be good for the chompers.
And then if you have some neighborhood kids
come by on a hot day, and they're like,
do you have popsicles or ice cream or something?
Like, oh, do I have something even better than that?
God, we really helped this person a lot.
I'm not even done yet.
Freeze them, not for popsicles,
but in recognition of the fact that
you are not always going to have
an infinite free carrot hookup.
Yes, we're gonna ant that.
You're a grasshopper, you need to be an ant.
You need to be an ant.
Freeze these.
I don't plan on eating a ton of carrots.
Yeah.
Anytime soon.
I ate one big carrot the other day
that was like honey glazed and it was very good,
but it was at the end of that one carrot,
I was like, that was a lot of carrot.
What is the deal with vegetables,
like carrots and celery, right?
Yeah. What is the, I'm trying carrots and celery, right? Yeah.
What is it, I'm trying.
I'm trying to meet them halfway.
I do everything I can when I buy,
like I get baby carrots,
which is just big carrots cut small.
Like I'm doing everything I can
to make them seem as fun as chips.
Yeah.
Because I know that they got a lot
of nutrition and vitamins, right?
Right, right, right.
So I love to eat and I'm good.
It feels good in my body to eat them.
Cool sounds.
Cool, cool fucking sounds.
Cool sound and nice to brag about.
Yeah.
But what is this thing that they got going on
where every fucking bite of these guys
tastes kind of different?
Like, I eat celery, one time I try it,
sweet and crisp for a while before it. We're loving it. I get celery one time, I try it, sweet and crisp, I'm all out for it.
We're loving it.
I get celery a different time.
I take a bite, peppery pennies, I don't like it.
I don't like it anymore.
So bitter.
It's bad.
You know what doesn't do that?
Pringles, ever.
Right, yeah.
Like they're just Pringles, right?
Like I feel like if we could have a little bit more,
baby carrots are getting there,
but with a big carrot, you'll take one bite
that's so carrot-y and good,
and then you'll take another one, ah, it's burning.
This is it, right?
It tastes like the underside
of the farmer's boot hoots made it.
I'm just gonna, as long as we're on this subject,
if you hear me, like a crudite,
and it has raw broccoli on there,
I love broccoli, I love broccoli.
I love broccoli. I love broccoli. I love vegetables.
I do.
Raw broccoli.
No one has ever popped a piece of raw broccoli
in their mouth and thought, I'm so glad I did this.
I love this.
I don't regret this at all.
You have to put so much dip on a piece of raw broccoli
to trick yourself into eating it.
Yes.
Like giving a pill to a dog in peanut butter.
I love to eat two to 300 dry and rubbery seed pods
in one mouthful.
Excellent.
There's only one guy that loves raw broccoli
and that's Rob Rockley.
Yeah, man.
That's you live every Sunday night at 8.30 p.m. on DX.
8.30 p.m.?
Rob Rockley.
Why'd they put him on so late?
What?
Why'd he put him on so late? What?
Why'd he put him on so late?
I don't plan on eating a lot of carrots in my life,
but the shit adds up, is what I'm saying.
You don't expect it.
If you were to look at a bathtub
filled with the number of carrots you would eat in your life,
oh my God, what if you looked in
and there was only like two carrots in there?
Oh no, what's gonna happen to me?
Cause I know I'm gonna eat-
Yeah, they actually, they talk about that in the Bible,
when you show up to heaven heaven and then the angel says,
look in this bathtub, only two, huh?
Hey, can we go to the wizard's castle in the clouds?
Yeah, I actually, I have to return this DVD to him
of Gulliver's Travels starring Jack Black.
He learned it to me forever ago
and I've been meaning to give it back to him.
I'm so glad. I didn't watch it.
Most notable thing about Gulliver's Travels,
it is the film that was shown to challenge winners
on Survivor. I remember that.
They got all the movie snacks they wanted,
and then they went to see Gulliver's Travels,
and then they filmed them after watching it,
like they do in the commercials,
and they're like, I was laughing the whole time.
It's like, yeah, dude, you've been reading leaves
for two weeks.
Ha!
Yeah, after that, you're like,
I thought it was pretty funny.
I meant fucking seeing bugs go back and forth
gets pretty funny.
This one was sent in by several people.
It is a WikiHow article for this one,
and it's how to make it rain money.
Who?
This is under the category
magic and delusion performance magic tricks.
Oh, okay.
I've never heard of, I've never,
I've never thought of someone in a,
in some sort of club environment throwing money
all over the place and been like,
how did they fucking do that?
Wow.
Well, I've been like, how did they do that?
Like have the disposable income to be willing to do that
in a crowded public place.
Yeah, is this gonna help me get the money also, Griffin?
It has something about how to launch paper money
into the air.
Okay, here's what I'll say.
It doesn't have to be with money money,
but get a bunch of pieces of paper in your hand
and try to do them one at a time.
No, you're gonna be in the club without this article,
big stack of one dollar bills probably,
and you'll be like, here we go, time to make it,
and it all goes out in one swipe
because you don't know how to shuffle up and deal.
So you may not ever have to do this in your life.
Okay, but I would like to be able to be prepared
to nail it if I need to, yeah.
Check this shit out.
Making it rain is when you hold a stack of bills
in one hand and use the fingers of the other hand
to peel off bills one at a time in rapid fashion
and or throw out small increments of bills.
The rapid fashion part is so important.
Super duper important.
Yeah, you're like a joke otherwise.
You can't drizzle it.
Fuck, fuck.
Or throw out small increments of bills out on valets,
doorman, dancers, and prominent cheesesteak shops.
I don't understand that.
I bet they did that.
I bet that that's something from Jersey Shore.
Maybe.
That feels like something they would do.
The bills float in the air,
creating the effect of raining money.
This is usually done with stacks
of single dollar bills for effect.
Is it Monday morning, a holiday,
or just whenever you feel like?
Wonderful, time to make it rain.
Fuck yeah.
But not pennies, right?
Not pennies.
Not pennies off a tall building.
I've watched Mythbusters, that shit gets dangerous.
It does.
Step one, get some money.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Unfortunately- Does that link to a previous article
that explains how to do that?
Yes, let me click on it.
It says plasma, get rid of it.
Okay.
It says you can't make it rain plasma.
I mean, you can, but it would be horrific.
Yeah, we don't, there's a scene in Fallout, actually.
Find a job, help out your neighbors, cash those checks,
go to the bank and ask for one dollar bills.
The more bills you have, the better.
You want a veritable downpour, not a drizzle.
They love that at the bank.
If you roll up and you cash a big check
and you say all in ones, they don't look at you weird at all.
No, they love that.
They love it.
They do love it.
They love to be, they love to have to put in the most
sort of physical effort to get you the small amount
of money that you are requesting as is possible.
While you're at the bank, check to make sure
that the stacks of $1 bills or 20s, if that's how you roll,
don't stick together.
Sometimes fresh bills, all crisp and hot off the presses,
adhere to each other.
If this is the case, ask for rainable bills.
The teller, if they've any sense, won't ask any questions.
Sorry, sorry.
Can I get those bills rainable, please?
Of course, sir.
See? No. More.
Again? You're the fifth one today!
I want-
Saying that normal thing to be weird.
Untraceable? rainable, edible bills.
In ones, of course, right sir?
In ones, yes.
I've got this many.
How much bills-
Do you want them marked or unmarked?
Unmarked?
Perfect.
Does the marking make them sticky?
Because, like, sir, I cannot have these bills be sticky!
Well, why not laminate your bills?
If you just laminate the individual bills,
this is gonna go way easier.
That could be cool, yeah.
I feel like that cash still spins, right?
No, that's-
I mean, does it?
Traveler's checks?
Traveler's checks should be cool.
If you laminate the bills,
if you laminate money, you still spend that.
This is important.
Now listen, Griffin, can I just say, easier version-
Okay, wait real quick before we move on.
In case me in the past is listening,
sorry bud, you never figured out what traveler's checks are.
You're 42, 43 maybe, and you still have no clue.
I don't think they're a thing anymore.
Please stop mentioning them.
Okay, thanks.
All right, back to the show.
Is it legal to laminate money?
It is.
As far as I can tell, you can't like destroy it.
Yeah. Or like destroy it. Yeah.
Or like fuck it up in some way.
But some places might not take it
because can you imagine, you know,
you're going through the till at GameStop,
stealing as much as you possibly can
and then you get one unyielding bookmark
of a piece of legal tender.
That would drive me fucking up the wall.
So then cut out, okay. okay, I've got it.
Cut out the middleman, make your own money
out of easily reignable bills.
Why go through the process?
If you're just throwing it,
and not for the one where you hand it to people,
but the one where I'm in a club
and I'm just swiping it off of a stack into a random crowd,
why would that need to be real money?
I'm not buying anything.
It should just be all, it should be all
Chick Tracks and Christian pamphlets.
Oh, the one you open up and it's like,
oh, a 20 and you open it and it's like,
ah, makes you look anyways, Jesus, huh?
Yeah, that's so great, by the way.
I always love those when it's like,
fuck yeah, $50 bill and you pick it up and it's like,
not today friend, JK, Jesus,
have you thought about hell and death?
Now, do it now, do it now.
That's always been really good PR for Jesus, by the way.
Super good.
Everybody gets so excited when that happens
and they're like, huh, this nasty trick
that made me excited for money
but turned out just to be literature
made me like the idea of Christianity so much more.
Yeah, hold the money in one hand in an orderly stacked pile. literature made me like the idea of Christianity so much more.
Yeah. Hold the money in one hand in an orderly stacked pile.
You'll be holding the money in your non-dominant hand and making it rain with the other.
Make sure you have a firm grasp on the entire stack so none of it gets away from you.
Only hold as much money in your palm as you can handle.
If it goes too far above your fingertips, things could get unruly or,
or someone could run off with your cash.
Yeah.
That's what's gonna happen.
Yeah, that cuts out the middle man.
That would be-
That's a great time to get bugged.
Oh, yeah, absolutely.
Help yourself.
If somebody went to steal my money while I was doing that,
I would say, could you not just wait three seconds,
let me finish the stunt.
Hey everybody, this guy is trying to take all the money.
Yeah, it's cool actually, one loophole.
You can make it rain and still get to keep
all your own money if every time you do it,
you just go oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops,
oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops, oops,
and then people are like, let me get those,
let me get those for you.
I said oops, so you guys can't take those
and I will be counting, I know how much was in this pile beforehand. I said oops, so you guys can't take those. And I will be counting,
I know how much was in this pile beforehand.
I would love to see that in like a Dungeons and Dragons
esque movie where a guy like throws, you know,
a handful of coins to distract a crowd.
And then it's like, and now I need those back.
And you just see the scene of him going around and going,
I saw you pick up two, give me those back.
I dropped them.
I said, whoopsie daisy when I did it.
Oh yeah, okay, he did say whoopsie daisy.
Those are the rules.
Here you go, sir.
Peel the money off an emotion that resembles
an all stay signal in Blackjack.
I don't think I know.
So that's where you wave your hand,
like you're doing a sideways stop.
Oh, I see, I see, I see.
So you're like, get to-
Link to another article about how to play Blackjack?
So you're like, before the hand touches the money,
you gotta get the motion going.
You gotta get it going, yeah.
So that when you bring the hands together,
it's like a roast beef slicer.
Yeah.
Maintain a carefree and arrogant countenance
while making it rain.
That is important, cause if you started going,
oh no!
Oh, oh, here I go.
Why am I doing this?
I'm doing so many, somebody stop me.
I lost my job today, what am I thinking?
Just act like this is your normal Tuesday afternoon
and the ground being rained on by you
isn't worthy of your footsteps, much less your cheddar.
The fuck is, what the fuck are you talking about?
Now I will say that if you wanna get your money back,
doing it on a Tuesday afternoon at the club
is probably the easiest time to do it
and then just go pick it up off of the empty floor.
Yeah.
Is it okay to make it rain a bill,
grab it before moving on to the next bill?
So it's like you're playing your own kind of like,
you know, grand prize game.
I mean, I think in a practice scenario,
if you're in like a Hermetic,
sort of like, you're just running drills.
Okay, getting creative.
One, use a fan. Okay, getting creative.
One, use a fan.
You know what can blow money all around a room
and keep it flowing away more effectively
than your own bare hands?
A giant fan.
Set it on a high level with enough room in front of it
to add your staxo cash.
Turn it to the on position when it's not plugged in.
That way when you go to plug it in,
you're in front of it when it turns on,
ready to get rained on and rained on and rained on
as your dead president swirl through the air.
Now, hold on.
Is that in a line?
That's awesome.
Does it, that sounded like you were making that up, Griffin.
Okay, I'm gonna read this sentence.
Every part of this is, okay, go ahead.
I'm gonna read this whole thing all over again.
Because it's fucking unhinged.
It's one of the more unhinged,
like from a conceptual standpoint, a physical standpoint.
And while Griffin reads it, picture walking into a room and seeing your friend doing this.
Your friend walks into the room, they are carrying an unplugged box fan and a stack of 45 single dollar bills.
You know it can blow money all around a room and keep it flowing way more effectively than your own bare hands?
You fucking stupid idiot. Yeah, your friend turns to you and says this as you walk in.
A giant fan.
Set it on a high level with enough room in front of it to add your stacks of cash. Oh, so like three inches?
Make sure you have three inches in front of your fan before you turn it on.
Don't turn it on up against a wall.
Turn it to the on position when it's not plugged in.
This is the part that they felt like they had to include the kills to be.
Turn it to the on position when it's not plugged in.
That way, when you go to plug it in, to the wall.
Like fucking Doc Brown.
No, you've got an extension cord.
No, Travis let him finish.
When you plug it in, you're in front of it
when it turns on, ready to get rained on
and rained on and rained on
as your dead president swirl through the air.
Life is so beautiful.
The things that are possible in it.
You could also do that,
say just put a plastic bag there
and watch it dance around on your camcorder.
Why is it cooler?
Why is it cooler to turn the fan on?
Then plug it in.
And then, like at the moment, be like,
hey everybody, here it goes.
And then you crouch over and crawl over
and reach behind the vending machine
and find the one plug and plug it in.
And then you scramble back up and stand,
why is that better than just turning it on?
When Nikolai Tesla invented the Switch,
it was because he was trying to make it rain,
doubloons or whatever the fuck money they used back then.
Lighting bolts, probably, that guy was weird.
But you had to fucking run to the wall, plug it in,
and then run back in front of the fan
to try to make the doubloons blow away,
and he was like, this is a pain in the ass.
What if I could control,
what if I could control the electricity
traveling into the device with a toggle on the device?
Yeah.
And Edison was like, I just built a big tube
that people can get into, and the money swirls around them
and they have to grab it like little peasants.
And he's like, Tesla was like,
damn you, Edison, that's not the beauty Tesla was like, damn you had a sense.
That's not the beauty of the art,
but that is fucking better.
Yes, my big client Bozo's show bought it from me.
I'm Rick.
Make it rain over people.
Sure you can make it rain by yourself.
You could run around your room spreading the dough
raining on your head as part of your nighttime routine
and then go to sleep comfortably on your piles
and piles of simoleons.
Or, or you could take your stacks and liven up any party,
a coffee date with a friend or dinner time with your parents.
Think of the endless possibilities.
Okay.
You absolute madman.
You can't have dinner time with your parents
and make it rain on them.
There is no arrangement it rain on them.
There is no-
Not on them, but it would be a real power move, right?
You're like 23, 24, and your parents,
you're going out to dinner with your parents
and your parents are like, and how are you doing on money?
Like, how are you like, oh, how am I doing on money?
Maybe this will answer your question.
And you turn out to the rest of the tables
and you just start raining money onto their lives.
No, you make it, you honor your mother and you just start raining money onto their lives.
You honor your mother and father,
you make it rain on them.
You think that the puddle should be splashing
on my mom and papa for these rainbows.
They've given you so much,
you can't give them back 45 single dollar bills
in a playful fashion while you're kicking it
at Ruby Tuesdays. At least a kiss of a spray.
A kiss of a spray would do.
A kiss of a spray for mom and dad. Just a kiss of a spray. A kiss of a spray would do. A kiss of a spray for mom and dad.
Just a kiss of a spray.
Maybe start on mom and dad,
and then oscillate like a sprinkler around the room.
You gotta miss.
You gotta circle.
Tchoo, tchoo, tchoo, tchoo, tchoo.
Tchoo, tchoo, tchoo, tchoo, tchoo, tchoo, tchoo.
You can't just do one direction.
You have to- You don't wanna pile up.
Yeah, you don't wanna pile up.
You wanna hit all corners of the room,
and if the restaurant's too bad,
you wanna space out other people making it rain, so that you get a nice, even coverage of the room, and if the restaurant's too bad, you wanna space out other people making it rain
so that you get a nice, even coverage of the room.
So, you'll probably wanna coordinate together beforehand.
Springing in on them could result in them diving
for your cash or thinking you're a money-grubbing
materialist, and who knows, maybe they'll wanna
make it rain with you.
Talk about a flood of money. That's so fucking cool.
I've never made it rain or been present
when that would happen,
because why the fuck would I, where would I be when,
but if someone started to make it rain
and then the one person receiving it was like,
you know what? Also, yeah.
Actually, yeah.
Chk, chk, chk, chk, chk.
That would be cool.
And then what if everybody in the nation did that?
And then we all picked up the same number of dollar bills
as what you needed, okay?
And that's legally sort of mandated, right?
That is not a sort of option.
That's not legally mandated, but like, be cool.
It could just be cool. And maybe at the end of the day,
if it turns out you had some leftover,
you put it back into the thing.
And then in the morning- You don't have to make,
has any leftover.
You just take exactly what you need.
What you need, and It'll all add up.
If there's any leftover, Trav,
few churches, just for me.
Maybe a little church or two.
Thank you Macro Brothers for fixing everything.
You know that one scene in It's a Wonderful Life
where the stock market's crashed
and there's a run on the building and loan.
And then he's like, you know what?
I'm gonna give you guys my honeymoon money.
I've got like, you know, $200 here,
cause it's 19, 15, but I'll give everybody out
whatever you need.
And that one guy walks up and he's like,
I'll close out my account.
I want $40.
And everyone's like, dude, that's like so much money.
And he's like, I want $40.
And they give it to him anyway.
That man should be exiled from the community.
They don't show that man again in the film.
He should be pushed into a river.
That's fucking nut-rageous, man.
Yeah.
There needs to be some punishment.
This is such a...
Griffin, that was really weird.
That was like Travis and I were looking at a painting
and you were on the upstairs floor of a museum
and you're like, the guys gotta see this.
And you walked all the way down,
they walked all the way over, you're like,
guys, guys, guys, and we're like,
well, we're looking at this painting.
You're like, no, no, no, no, no, Jesse, Jesse,
you gotta come with me.
And then like three minutes later, you're like, ta-da.
Ta-da. What do you think?
I'm not wrong though, right?
That guy sucks shit. No, that guy sucks shit.
Yeah, it's just like so- But he's not
the biggest villain.
If you're talking about capitalistic villains in the movie,
it's a wonderful life.
Mr. Potter steals the deposit money.
Oh, of course, man.
You don't need me to tell you Mr. Potter is bad.
I just want to remind you that this one man is also bad
in the film.
It's a wonderful life.
Make it rain from a helicopter.
Go big or go home, right?
You're gonna make it rain.
Might as well make it rain.
If a helicopter isn't readily available,
find a high point you can drop it from. The rooftop, the Eiffel Tower, a mountain.
If the helicopter isn't readily available, I'm going to need some more specifics than
that. Like if my helicopter, if I can't get access to one period or if mine isn't readily
available. I'm pretty sure any helicopter, when you put the money out the window,
it's just gonna suck it upwards
into the threshing maw of the helicopter.
Now Griffin, I'm sorry,
but I assume the helicopter blades are pushing down,
or else the helicopter would be going
in the wrong direction.
If the helicopter is pulling air up,
it is rapidly descending.
I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure
it has to be pushing the air down to stay up.
But the force of the suction above the helicopter
would be higher than the push force below the helicopter.
So it would suck it up into the blades
and chop it up forever and ever until it was a fine dust.
I feel like the helicopter expert
has already cut us off
in their TikTok.
Like they're like, that's enough from them.
So here's my helicopter.
I'm Hank Green, let me tell you.
Stank Green probably does know about helicopters though.
God dang it.
Damn it.
Shoot.
So think of it as charity.
Have they taught, is there a section
that's where they talk about picking it back up? Last's the last step, or just pick it back up.
Because who has thousands of dollars to spend on strangers?
Just know that if you do choose to make it on someone at your local Burger King, you'll
probably have some pretty stiff competition when it comes to recollecting your change.
That's awful.
Finders keepers, losers weepers, you know, so maybe you should stick to your living room,
bathtub, or at most backyard.
How much risk are you willing to take?
This is a great point.
If you do drop, if you make it rain from a helicopter,
the amount of precipitation will be reduced
by one helicopter ride of money.
I see what you're saying.
The cost is included.
The cost of helicopter makes the rain less bode.
Like what if a helicopter costs $400
and you've got 430 to make it rain?
Right.
So that's overhead, there's literally overhead.
Literal overhead, yeah, it's terrible.
The problem there with it being spread out,
Griffin, to your point, if I'm in a helicopter
and I drop $31 bills, if 30 raindrops fell from the sky,
spread out over like 12 city blocks,
people wouldn't be like, oh shit, it's raining.
If I'm gonna drop bills from a helicopter,
the number of bills I would have to drop for you to register.
Yeah, joker levels.
Yeah.
Big burlap sacks.
Yeah. Or big, huge money. Big burlap sacks. Yeah.
Or big, huge money.
If I printed my own money and made it quite large,
I think people would notice that.
Yeah, yeah.
The bills in Trap Nation are...
Laminated.
Really, they're laminated, they're boogie board sized.
You drop giant novelty checks just raining down
for this guy. For one dollar each.
They're made of fiberglass.
Hurtling traffic around ground. Tragedy today.
Somehow the suction force of the helicopter blades
push them at lightning speeds down towards the ground.
And some of them, conversely, rock it up into the air.
Those were the asbestos ones. I just wasn't thinking.
I lost my husband today.
But I got a dollar.
I got, I think the shard of the check I got
is worth about a buck 50.
Hey, can we go to the money zone
so we can make it maybe rain one day ourselves?
Yeah, let's do it. They are ourselves. ["It's Better With You"]
You gotta website it. You gotta get out there and make yourself known
with a big, beautiful website.
Squarespace makes the biggest websites around.
I don't think that's right.
That's true.
There's a toggle you can turn on
and it makes the website so fucking big that you can't even fit it in your browser
If someone tries to download it and break their computer because how many teraflops it has on it?
Which is incredible. It's not just gonna be big though. It's gonna be a beautiful website
Oh a BBW. A BBW. That's what that stands for and
Squarespace is gonna help you get there with it's an all-in-one website platform
for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online
with a beautiful BBW site.
Squarespace.
So Griffith, what you're saying is if I go to Google
and search BBW, it'll take me straight to Squarespace.
No, that's inaccurate.
But I'll tell you what is accurate,
these websites are gonna be easy to build
no matter what your skill level is.
They got great support for you,
and they have great templates
that are gonna look great when you make your website.
So they've got one template called fucking Monstro.
It's so goddamn big.
It'll make your head explode.
Okay, so what I wanna do,
what I'm getting from you, Justin,
is that I wanna make sure that
they're where I need them to be, right?
So I'm gonna search BBWs in my area on Google, right?
And then that will take me straight to Squarespace.
Go to squarespace.com is actually the preferred URL
for a free trial.
And when you're ready to launch,
go to squarespace.com slash my brother.
For all the BBWs in your area,
squarespace.com slash my brother.
You do need to let Justin finish the offer.
If I could just say the call to action, which is squarespace.com slash my brother to save
10% off your first purchase of a website or domain.
I like my meals frozen.
I like my meals.
I like my meals never frozen. I like them meals. I like my meals fresh, never frozen.
I like them to be chef crafted.
I like them to be dietitian approved.
I like them to be ready to eat in just two minutes.
And so far I've been shit out of luck.
So I'm hoping that you guys are able to help me.
How do I get those?
Damn, it really seemed like you were about to set up
and spike the ad ball in one go, but it's-
Oh, we're doing ads?
So, Factor can do all those things for you, Travis.
Fuck yes.
All right, man.
They got meals that feature premium ingredients
like filet mignon, shrimp, truffle butter,
broccolini, and asparagus.
Yeah. Aw. shrimp, truffle butter, broccolini, and asparagus.
Yeah.
Aw.
We,
we thought asparagus is fault that it was placed
inappropriately in the list.
Factors, fresh never frozen meals are chef crafted,
dietician approved and ready to eat in just two minutes.
Hell yeah.
We have a weekly menu of 35 options.
You can discover more than 60 add-ons every week,
like breakfast on the go, lunch, snacks,
beverages even, to help you stay fueled
and feel gul'd all day long.
Elliot gul'd.
Elliot gul'd all day.
Feel like Elliot gul'd with these fucking
never frozen meals.
They're tailored to your schedule.
You can customize your weekly meals
with the flexibility to get as much or as little as you need.
You can pause or reschedule deliveries,
and they don't even give a shit.
And they're celebrating Earth Day all month long.
Look out for the Earth Month Eats badge
on the menu for our lowest carbon footprint meals.
Not just like a balloon of gas.
It's real food.
That's, it shouldn't have to say that on the, it doesn't say that on the website, but they do have It's real food. That's it's a, it shouldn't have to say that on the,
it doesn't say that on the website, but they do have pictures of real food.
So, you know, for a fact, you can get that garlic filet mignon and basil pesto
shrimp pinne, roasted broccoli and smoky onion butter. I didn't even know you
could make some of that shit.
Yeah, you can. So just go to factor meals.com slash brother 50
and use code brother 50 to get 50% off your first box
plus 20% off your next box.
That's code brother 50 at factor meals.com slash brother 50
to get 50% off your first box plus 20% of your next box
while your subscription is active.
Factor meals., fuck yeah.
That's not their tagline, I can't stress that enough.
It's not even their tagline.
That's my pitch for what a tagline should be.
That's pretty good.
Factor Meals, fuck yeah.
Hey, when you listen to podcasts, it really just comes down to whether or not you like
the sound of everyone's voices.
My voice is one of the sounds you'll hear on the podcast Dr. Game Show, and this is
the voice of co-host and fearless leader Joe Firestone.
This is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners, and we play them with callers
over Zoom we've never spoken to in our lives.
So that is basically the concept of this show.
Pretty chill. So take it basically the concept of this show. Pretty chill.
So take it or leave it, bucko.
And here's what some of the listeners have to say.
It's funny, wholesome, and it never fails to make me smile.
I just started listening and I'm already binging it.
I haven't laughed this hard in ages.
I wish I discovered it sooner.
You can find Dr. Game Show on maximumfun.org.
Video games can make you laugh.
They can make you cry.
They can even make you sing.
We're the hosts of TripleClick.
It's a podcast about video games.
This is an exciting time for new games from Diablo to Final Fantasy.
From Starfield to Street Fighter.
From Zelda to...
Oh, who are we kidding?
We're just going to talk about Zelda. Whether we kidding? We're just gonna talk about Zelda.
Whether you play games or you just like hearing about them,
we've got you covered.
Find us at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.
Bye.
I want a munch squad. I want to munch squad.
Welcome to munch squad, the podcast of the podcast,
profiling the latest and greatest in brand eating.
I have one un-weed-lated story in the next episode.
I have a story about-laden story,
and then I have two of people trying to get in
on the 420 craze.
But let's start off.
I just wanna tell you first off,
cause it's like tangentially related.
Sonic is having groovy fries.
Who's doing what? Sonic is doing groovy fries.
It's a new fry that's hot.
It says here, it's a new fry that's hot, crisp,
perfectly salted, and made with fry lovers in mind.
Huh.
What, as opposed to normal fries,
where they're like, people who hate fries
are gonna fucking love these unsalted wedges.
We're gonna get them with beef.
Are you guys ready to see Groovy Fries?
It's a Sonic innovation,
their first fry refresh in 10 years.
Here we go, Groovy Fries.
Those are fries, man.
Those are fries.
It looks like there's a cup of
fucking good burger sauce in the back.
Oh, they have grooves.
Yeah, so they're Groovy Fries.
Fuck off.
I don't like that.
They have improved taste and functionality
with grooves made for perfect dipping.
Guys, is that the deal with the crinkles?
I've never thought about it until this exact second.
Not once in my life.
Is that the deal with the crinkles?
No.
I think that's the deal with waffle fries
is that you can scoop up and get like little membranes
of ketchup inside of each little cranny.
But the crinkle, I think, is just for weirdos
who like not having a uniform potato eating experience.
Can I tell you, one of my favorite Munch Squad occurrences
is when companies try to act like they just invented
a thing that has been happening forever.
Every other impression.
But it's like, this is our new innovation,
crinkle cut fries. Cookie.
They were arrived at Sonic locations nationwide by mid-May
and the brand promises more fun and crave worthy surprises
in the months ahead. Ooh!
Their deep grooves allow for optimal dipping
so fry fans can scoop up even more
of their favorite sauce with each dip.
I became uncomfortable with saying that sentence aloud about two thirds of the way through,
but I had to power on through.
Our Sonic Tots are iconic, but we thought it was time to give them some competition,
says Mackenzie Gibson, admitting her fries are garbo and have been since the jump.
With the new groovy fries,
we're redefining what a fast food fry can be
and giving folks another reason to say,
yes, I would like fries with that.
I love it when these brands are like,
yeah, it's been trash, our fries are trash.
Yeah, man, we fucked up.
They're fucking stupid ass fries,
so the ketchup just slops right off of them,
dumb ass fries. Think about it.
Try in your head right now, try to answer definitively Fucking stupid ass fries, the ketchup just slops right off of them dumb ass fries.
Think about it, try in your head right now, try to answer definitively whether or not
we sell french fries.
I bet you can't do it.
We're so sorry.
But I'll say, I have four, two, four, 20 stories here for you guys.
And one of these brands will be forced to never do a weed ad again.
How will I do that?
Whichever one you all decide, I'm going to draft an email to their press department
and tell them that they are no longer permitted
to do a weed joke,
but you guys get to decide who that email
is going out to, okay? Okay.
This is a lot of pressure.
Jimmy John's lights up with the launch
of deliciously dope dime bag to celebrate 420.
Damn, they really,
they went pretty deep in the paint with that one, man.
That's- They go really, man. That's a really OK.
It's a new limited edition curated for 20 meal to celebrate the highest
of unofficial holidays.
Jimmy Johns is rolling out the deliciously dope dime bag.
A curated meal with a tongue in cheek nod to four twenty culture.
Sure to give everyone's munchies.
No, sir, to cure everyone's munchies. No, sir, to cure everyone's munchies.
Jimmy John's, a go-to 420 destination is giving the people what they want with the launch
of their new meal, available for order online starting today through April 21st for $10
with promo code Dimebag.
Can I just say- Is it just a combo meal, but they're doing a deal on it? April 21st for $10 with promo code Dimebag.
Can I just say-
Is it just a combo meal, but they're doing a deal on it?
No, it says, Griffin, it's a limited edition bag
that will be available at participating locations
across the country. What's in it?
What's in it?
It contains all, well, it contains all you need
to cure your 420 cravings.
Can I just say, I don't, when I think about munchies,
I've never eaten something when I had the munchies,
and I'm like, thank God it's cured.
Listen, this is that,
here's what you're gonna have on 420.
It's a mouthwatering hand sliced smoked ham
and provolone cheese sandwich top with jalapeno ranch,
extra oregano basil, sliced pickles, crispy jalapenos, and fresh sliced lettuce and tomato
and a spear of a fan favorite, Jimmy Pickle.
And then there's a brownie in there for you and a chip.
Quote, Jimmy Johns is not new to 420, said Kate Carpenter.
That's what I say anytime I rolled up to a party.
Are you guys having weed?
Cause I'm not new to 420.
I know about it.
We've celebrated with the highest people in the country
by hosting-
I don't-
That can't be true.
If you were celebrating the launch of your sandwich bag
with the highest, with me and the edge
after sipping that good Dottura tea,
just like,
whoa!
Some of them smoked so much weed,
they stopped existing for a minute.
But our sandwiches brought them back from the edge,
wink, wink.
What if Jimmy John's was two guys?
Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
It's so...
My sandwich has a heartbeat!
Ahhhhh!
Celebrated with the highest people in the country.
I'm the sandwich now!
Oh no, me and the sandwich switched places!
They hosted a sandwich filled celebration 10,000 feet above sea level.
And there were no cops there.
Last year we turned in Jimmy John's
into a sandwich dispensary.
Oh man, that's good.
With sandwich wrap rolling papers.
Can I say I worked at a Jimmy John's for a couple months
before quitting and one time I came in
and my boss was like, you have too much stubble.
And I said, I'm allowed to have a beard.
It's in the dress code.
And he said, you're allowed to have a beard
or be clean shaven, but not in between.
And I said, Austin, for that was his name,
I feel as though you don't understand the process
that one reaches the beard with.
And he handed me a rusty disposable razor
and made me shave in the bathroom
at Jimmy John's where the water did not get hot
and there was no shaving cream.
So for that to happen and then years later,
Jimmy John's to be like, we're fucking cool,
we know we had a party.
We know we had a party.
We know we had a party.
It's really hard for me to square that away.
I wanted to let you guys know that select fans
across the country will be surprised with additional merch
Including a Jimmy John's branded rolling tray for catching crumbs from the chips, of course
They are wild for this one to put it bluntly Jimmy John's has high expectation
for this year's celebration.
You started just being like,
fuck it, we love weed, and now they're getting cute?
Yeah, this one, I won't,
Jimmy John's can do as much weed stuff as they want to.
They get a free, I don't know who the other one is
that you've got for us today, but they lose,
because this is good, and I want Jimmy John's
to stay out here making this art.
Okay.
Wingstop Hotbox is returning on April 20th
with the Hot Chili Rub.
Let's see here.
The Hot Chili guys, THC.
This is the wettest box of non-soup food
I've ever seen in my life.
In Celebration 420, Wingstop is taking munchies
to new highs with an elevated flavor experience
to satisfy cravings nationwide.
Available some the dates,
the flavor experts are bringing back Wingstop Hotbox
featuring their newest strain of THC,
the hot chili rub.
Can I say to the art department at Wingstop,
that while we're looking at an image here,
and I believe what they're going for is like,
it's a hotbox, right?
So there's smoke coming out of it when you open it.
But instead it does look like perhaps
a witch's cauldron is bubbling
and there's maybe some mysterious steam and fog coming on.
It's not giving hotbox so much as giving
like middle school production.
Ritual of something.
Wingstop recognizes that fans love to celebrate
this special day with Wingstop's flavors in hand.
The Cook to Order Wingstop Hotbox
will spark up fans' taste buds
with their choice of the iconic chicken sandwich,
eight piece classic or boneless wings or three piece tenders.
Bump this. No fucking way, Wingstop.
All right. You get one more chance.
Here's the quote.
Our fans count on Wingstop to deliver flavor when cravings hit.
And 420 is no different, says Melissa Cash,
who kind of sounds like she's trying to make it sound like
they are not aiding and abetting.
Like, we're not doing anything.
It just, it's like any other day for us.
They would eat the wings anyway.
It's not a, it doesn't have to be a weed thing.
At least they're getting their wings safe from us,
where we know that the wings are pure and uncut.
We run a bone exchange program here at Wingstop.
Meanwhile, Jimmy John's is raining syringes from a blip.
Yeah, man.
Onto the crowd waiting to get in Wingstop.
They're just dumping big sandwich bags of cocaine.
Listen, this year we're bringing back the Wingstop Hotbox with a bold new flavor
that elevates any experience during this special day. Melissa, are you a cop?
Are you an AI cop? Are you RoboCop maybe even?
The AI cop.
Yeah, Wingstop, no. You don't know what you're doing with it. Jimmy John's, regardless of what you think about the company
and its practices, they made some pretty good appeals
to the stoner sensibilities.
It gets worse at the end of the Wingstop one.
It says THC, the hot chili rub,
contains no cannabis THC or cannabis.
Fucking, get out of here.
Get out of here, you nerd.
Get out, get out.
They don't know about 420 and what it means
and what it stands for.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
Yeah, maybe they don't go hunt elephants in Africa
with a big gun, but they don't get the weed stuff, so.
They also didn't make me shave
with a rusty razor though, too.
That's true. That is the plus for Wingstop.
Do you really think that man,
who may or may not have been Jimmy John,
when he killed that big elephant with that very big gun,
he was probably. That was Jimmy John.
He was probably pretty fucking high when he did that.
You gotta think.
On adrenaline, if nothing else.
This is a, no, I don't think I'm gonna make any excuses
for Jamie John. You don't think?
Well, he was high on Jordan Crushed Ivory.
No, no, no.
And he- He got high to kill the elephant.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never, I've never in my life looked at an elephant
and been like, bit it'd feel pretty cool to kill that.
But I'm sure-
This is what driven is heard.
Yes.
It's really important to stress.
But there's probably-
I think you should only be allowed to kill an elephant
if you've taped two knives to your face.
Yeah.
And you go at it, you're on all fours,
elephant's on all fours, tusk to tusk.
Then if you manage to kill an elephant like that,
Yeah.
I gotta give it to you.
They don't tell you this about the limitless pill.
One of the limits is I shouldn't be killing these.
I shouldn't hunt an elephant.
That's a limit.
That's a limit that we set on ourselves,
morally, ethically, legally.
That is a limit.
The limitless pill means you're gonna blow right past that.
It's the first thought you have is,
gotta kill one of these big elephants.
Number two is, I'm gonna reorganize my kitchen.
I would like to see Limitless 2,
where they give the Limitless pill to elephants.
Yes.
And just see what happens.
Yeah.
I mean, at a certain point,
if there's no limits, then let's just go wild.
Let's get silly.
Yeah.
We've had a lot of fun here today, Juice.
We've had a lot of fun, but you know what? We've had a lot of fun here today, Juice. We've had a lot of fun, but you know what?
We've had a lot of fun here today.
You know what's even more fun?
What?
When people buy tickets to see our shows.
Oh my gosh.
I thought you were gonna say when people come to our shows
or doing the shows or getting a chance to get back out there.
That's fun, but I like when they buy the tickets.
Yeah.
That makes me feel happy
and then lets me make it rain in limited quantities in responsible locations.
Okay.
Yeah.
Now, if you're coming to the Chicago, My Brother,
My Brother and Me show, congratulations,
because that's sold out.
So you got tickets to it when it was cool.
But if you're gonna be there
and you want questions that are answered,
make sure that you send us those with Chicago
in the subject line.
And if you want your wish for Fungalore
to be read at the show,
you can send that as well with Chicago in the subject line. And if you want your wish for Fungalore to be read at the show,
you can send that as well with Chicago
in the subject line to mbmbam at maximumfun.org.
For the Chicago Taz,
we're doing the Adventure Zone versus Moby Dick
with the same characters we do
from the Adventure Zone versus Dracula.
It's gonna be a who and a half.
There are some tickets available for that.
And we're gonna be at C2E2 right after the shows.
Well, not right, like following days.
We're not like going there at night.
That would be wild.
But you can get tickets to all of that
and see our C2E2 schedule by going to bit.ly
slash McElroy Tours.
Hey, we got some new merch up in the store.
We're doing a bundle, a stuffy bundle with Tyler Thrasher.
You get a stuffed
garyl, the bina corn from the Adventure Zone Balance campaign, and Tyler's Schrodinger's
cat blind box which includes one of three possible cat plushies which are very adorable.
10% of all proceeds this month will go to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund. You
can check all that out over at acoremerch.com. Thank you so much to Montane for the Use For Our Theme song,
My Life Is Better With You.
My life is better with this song in it.
I had, it's my, it's my, the ringtone on my Nokia
and whenever it jingles at the bank, people are like,
what is that groovy beat?
And I-
I started, this is not a joke,
I started playing it in my car
while I was driving my kids around.
I was playing What You Mean To Me, which my girls love.
And Dot goes, Montaigne,
how did you find Montaigne music?
And I said, on my phone, baby.
And she was like, phones are amazing.
So there you go. They sure are.
Phones are incredible.
Do we have a wish?
We do. Yeah.
Justin, do you wanna read that?
Yeah, Trava, I'd be happy to.
Thank you so much.
How school I wish
that I could tell the different Transformers characters
apart.
No, no.
My name is Justin McElroy.
Justin.
I'm Griffin McElroy.
This has been My Brother, My Brother, Me, Kiss Your Dad,
Square on the Lips.
My brother, my brother, me kiss your dad, square on the lips. Because it's true, it's better, it's better with two by one. It's better with you.
Maximum Fun, a workaround network of artist-owned shows, supported directly by you.