Off Menu with Ed Gamble and James Acaster - Ep 228: Ray Winstone
Episode Date: February 28, 2024British acting royalty Ray Winstone is this week’s guest. And he’s brought his own olive oil. Ray Winstone stars in ‘Damsel’ which releases on Netflix from 8th March. Watch it here. Ray Winsto...ne also stars in ‘The Gentlemen’ which releases on Netflix in March. Watch it here. Follow Ray on Instagram @thisisraywinstoneRecorded and edited by Ben Williams for Plosive.Artwork by Paul Gilbey (photography and design).Follow Off Menu on Twitter and Instagram: @offmenuofficial.And go to our website www.offmenupodcast.co.uk for a list of restaurants recommended on the show.Watch Ed and James's YouTube series 'Just Puddings'. Watch here. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, it's Ed Gamble here from the Off Menu podcast that you're listening to right now.
I'm here to tell you that I am on tour. UK and Ireland tour, Hot Diggity Dog is the name of the show.
It's starting on March the 12th, going all over to lots of places. Go to edgamble.co.uk
to buy tickets for what I believe is a very funny show. We'll have a nice time. See you there. Bye.
Thank you, James.
Welcome to the Off Menu podcast, taking the cherries of fun, putting those in the fruit
salad. And that's the fruit salad then.
Now you think I've already done that, right?
I think you've already said that's the fruit salad.
I'll be honest with you guys.
And that's done, and it's finished.
I don't know what's coming out yet already,
but I've been doing this thing
where I build a fruit salad across the episodes.
James loves it
because I immediately lost track of what I said
and what I hadn't.
And I don't know how many things are in the fruit salad
or that is the end of the fruit salad now. There's at least five, maybe as many as eight. Yes.
But if you put together a list of fruits and say that that's in the fruit salad, we don't know
if it is the fruit salad. But he does job to know. Yeah, it is. But he does job to know. But he's
already told me he's got a tab on his spreadsheet called fruit salad. Yeah. And by no means are they all in there?
Yeah. Well, that's poor form. Yeah. A lot of people would have been playing this game at home where they might have everything that's in the fruit salad.
Then email, well, then tweet Bonito to let him know what the fruit salad is and he'll send them a signed chopping board. Yeah.
So if he's going to waste everyone's time, then that's a big shame. Yeah. I mean, I've wasted Benito's time and he's wasted their time.
I guess I'm the only good guy in all this.
No, you're not. You're at the side like prodding us on and being a little bully.
No, no, not a bully.
Just the whole thing was, you know, I've encouraged your creativity.
Yes.
And I tried to encourage Benito's productivity.
Yeah.
But sadly, I failed there.
And it sums up my creativity that I started doing something half way through,
went, oh, I don't know if I've done this properly, and then just sort of given up on it.
Well, I know there definitely wasn't any cherries in the fruit salad before.
So this is the first...
Yeah, I don't...
You haven't repeated yourself ingredients-wise.
It's just, you know...
How many there are and when...
How many there are when they're going to come out...
And if two of them are last ones...
And how many times you said that's the last thing in the fruit salad.
And that's the fruit salad. Yeah, that's the fruit salad. So we'll
see. You don't often see cherries in a fruit salad, do you?
No, not often, but, you know, it's not outside the realms of possibility. And I'm pretty sure that,
you know, no context off menu who is not part of our organization, but you know, it's way more
across our podcast than we are. Yes.
Will know what's in the fruit salad exactly. So maybe people should tweet no context off
menu and say, well, I'm just trying to save the fruit salad game.
Benito's just told us there will be episodes going out after this one that are fruit salad.
Yeah. So that's not the fruit salad.
No, it is. It can still be the fruit salad,
but then afterwards just keep an ear out
because there might be more.
And I don't know when those are coming out.
And we don't know in between those ones
will be other things, intros that are different foods,
not in the fruit salad.
Not in the fruit salad.
So you've really got to have-
You can't put a smoked salmon cream cheese bagel
in the fruit salad, for example.
I think I've done that.
So you've got to have like faith that you think that's the fruit salad done before you do
the tweet. And if you do do it early, that's it. That's your go.
You're blocked. That's one go.
We'll block you.
You get blocked. Yeah.
So you will get blocked. Yeah.
If you guess the fruit salad too early. Yeah.
But then, you know, if you leave it too late, someone might get there before you and win
the chopping board. Did I put a bit of orange juice in the fruit salad?
I would hope so.
Yeah, you need a bit of orange juice in it.
Yeah, but he told you that.
I don't know if you definitely did it, you know.
Well, I guess fruit salad's a lot like life.
You never know when it's over.
Is that the phrase?
That is it, Gav'n.
My name is James A. Casso.
Together we own a dream restaurant.
And every single week we invite in a guest.
We ask them their favorite ever, start a main course,
dessert, side dish, and drink.
Not in that order. And this week our guest is
Ray Winston. Ray Winston, an actor with a huge CV, James. So many legendary roles.
A national treasure. Yes. Um, oh, fully national trash. Very excited that we got Ray in.
I mean, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm both, um, I'm, I'm daunted. Yes. You know, I'm both, I'm daunted. Yes.
You know, but also excited to kind of like be a bit cheeky.
I feel like we can be cheeky with Ray Winston.
I feel like we can be a bit cheeky with Ray Winston. Yeah.
Yeah, I feel like he's got a, he's a laugh.
He seems like a laugh.
He, but I think you're a bit daunted because he plays hard men.
He plays hard men and like, you know, just, just,
it's a world that I could never inhabit.
You know, those characters
and there's something cool about those characters really,
you know, no matter how horrible some of them are.
Sexy beast, big favorite of ours.
Love sexy beast so much.
Yeah. Love, Honor and a Bay,
one of my favorite films.
Oh, Love, Honor and a Bay, of course.
Yeah, I mean, it's exciting, man.
I mean, also, I don't really know,
I don't have any idea what kind of food,
like Ray Winston would have.
It's very easy to just kind of like guess what,
based on his characters, what he would be eating,
but actually it's not their characters.
You're thinking of all like the cockney foods.
Or the tough guy foods.
What, yeah, but What are tough guys foods?
I think they're the same.
They're completely blue steaks.
Just eating that.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah.
Bang is a mash.
Bang is a mash.
Tough guy food.
Yeah.
Bang is a mash isn't tough guy food, man.
No.
No, it's too sloppy.
Yeah, I guess it's more the bino, isn't it?
Yeah.
They're tough.
There's the most of tough.
Bustry kids are tough.
Bustry kids are tough. They're horrible, man. Not all of. They're all over. I would have hated to go to Bustrick school
I'd have lasted two seconds. Yeah, I went to Bustrick. I think I'm definitely not making it to the end of my first week
No, no, I'm going home to my mum and dad and say I can't go back. Please don't make me go back there
I don't bother talking to the teacher. He's got no control of the class, so you can't tell him to protect me.
Which strip in the B-node do you think you'd last the longest?
It's a great question.
Not Dennis the Menace.
Not Dennis the Menace. I'll get beat up by Dennis the Menace. I'll get beat up by many of the minks.
Either the terrible or beat me up. Billy Whiz would be too fast for me. Couldn't keep up with him.
So I'd be knackered.
Calamity James, I guess, you know.
Same name. same name.
I'm asking for trouble.
Yeah.
No, or you'd be friends.
He's very clumsy.
Yeah.
And trouble before the man where pianos are falling on him and stuff.
So I think I'd be, I put myself in harm's way there.
Yeah.
Billy whiz.
I just ended up spinning around all the time when he runs past me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'll be sick.
Yeah.
The numbskulls. Yeah. I guess the numbs num skulls. Yeah, they live in people's heads, right? People that are in your head, inside out before inside
out. Yeah, it's a precursor. Yeah. I didn't make you cry though. No, no, I don't think very rarely
the num skulls did anything in the B-num make me cry. No, they do payfoss really, the B-num. No.
But we know that, you know, one of the artists of the Bino listens to this podcast.
So maybe a bit of pay-foss is a request from us.
That would be great.
And also, I don't know, you know,
we're talking about our era of the Bino.
There might be some new Bino characters.
Well, I imagine, from what I gather,
it has progressed since.
I'm a member of reading it as a kid.
And this is when I stopped reading the Bino.
I used to read it every week.
I'd buy it every week with my pocket money.
You're really excited. Loved it when there was Sweets Free with it.
Yeah. Or a P-Shooter or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Fire the Sweets into my mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I don't... I don't analyse that. Okay.
And I remember when... When I stopped reading it was because there's, when we're Dennis the Menace,
I can't remember why he does it, but A, he steals someone's bike.
Yeah. I was like, what the hell? That's actual, that's a crime. Yeah. And he's just going down a hill on it.
Yeah. He's going to get Walter and the other softies. That's his plan. They're not called that anymore.
I know that Walter the softies, not called Walter the softie. So that's progress. Yeah.
He's called like Walter the sensitive lad or something. Well, it's a bit of a mouthful, but it's more respectful. But he's going down a hill on
this stolen bicycle to go and get these kids that he key calls the softies. So already
bad guy. And one of the panels, there's just a pedestrian and Dennis Mercer pushes him
in the face for no reason. Just full, his full palm of his hand. He's just laughing and
pushes this guy in the face. I remember being like, there's no absolute of his hand. Yeah. He's just laughing and pushes this guy in the face.
I remember being like,
there's no absolute need for that.
And I stopped reading the bino.
That was where I stopped doing it.
I was like, you can't do it.
I love that you had a tipping point.
I was already like,
not sure I'm on board of him stealing that bike.
And then when he pushes the innocent bystander
in the face, I was like, Joe, what fuck this prick?
I think for me, it's probably when I got like pubes. Probably when I got a pube, I was like,
get rid of the beano now,
I don't need the beano anymore, I'm a man.
I was half way through shaving my beard when I saw that.
Did I just let us push the kid in the face?
Now, even though we love Ray Winston, as always,
if he says the secret ingredient,
an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable,
we will have to kick him out of the dream restaurant.
And this week, the secret ingredient is...
Damzens. Damzens. Damns. The fruits, yeah, the out of the Dream Restaurant. And this week, the secret ingredient is... Damnsen's.
Damnsen's.
Damnsen's.
The fruits, yeah, the sort of plummy things.
I don't really know.
I mean, people always make them into jam or vodka.
Yeah, I'll give that a swerve, dams and jam, personally.
But look.
It's very sort of middle England-y, sort of, oh, I mean dams and jam.
It's not my sort of thing, but I'll be honest, we've picked it because Ray's in a new film called the damsel.
Yes, it's called Damsel.
So we've just gone damsel and made that the secret ingredient.
It's out on Netflix.
Come on, we will ask Ray about it.
Very good cast, Millie Bobby Browns in it, Robin Wright in it, Angela Bassett.
Yeah, that's a huge cast.
Yeah, that's coming out on March 8th on Netflix.
And if you like Ray and you like
Netflix, you're in for a treat in March. Because also coming out in March is The Gentleman,
a new show, eight episodes, Raisin' It, Theo James is in it. It's an insane cast.
Jodie Richardson's in it. Vinnie Jones is in it. It's a guy rich, it's a guy richy project.
Creator, co-writer and executive producer. So that, you know what
you're going to get there. That's going to be a lot of fun.
I just haven't recently, there's a counter in it called Rich Guysley.
Oh yeah.
Yes. Who sells hot sauce on the back of his car.
Oh yeah.
So, uh, Ghostbusters?
No, my own thing. Spring Leaf. Available on all platforms.
Yeah, do go and get that.
Get your podcast.
I'm on tour as well, although I'm gonna get Bonita
to record another special advert for that.
Oh, that's fun, that's exciting.
I look forward to that.
Well, without further ado, this is the off-menu menu.
Oh, should we put damsons in the fruit salad?
Yeah, yeah, next time.
Okay, this is the off-menu menu of Ray Winston.
Ray Winston.
Ray Winston.
Ray Winston.
Welcome, Ray, to the Dream Restaurant. Thank you very much. Welcome Ray Winston to the Dream Restaurant we're going to use for some time.
Lovely, I'm starving. Yeah, pretty hungry.
Hank Marvin. Did your personality change when you got hungry?
Yeah, I think so. You know, like most people, I guess,
I start to get a headache and then I get really,
but a little bit mean, you know, argumentative.
Yeah, yeah.
See the face changing then.
Yeah, I saw it.
I started thinking about it, yeah.
You went method then.
I know a bit Marlon Brando, wouldn't I?
That's what he used to do.
Well, later on in his career, he was never starving,
Marlon Brando. Oh, yeah, bit too much then. Yeah, yeah, yeah his career, he was never starving. Marlon Brando.
Bit too much, didn't he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
See, now I don't know what's rhyming slang,
what is it?
She said Hank Marvin.
And then you said Marlon Brando.
I was like, what does that stand for?
I have no idea.
I just meant you were going method.
Yeah, no.
I watched a clip of Robin Williams talking about
Marlon Brando this morning on my way here in the car.
And saying that he went to an acting class that Brando was like running.
Do you know I saw Robin Williams on stage when I was a young man. First time I'd been
to America and I was with Lou Adler who owned the club Whiskey Go Go, all that on the strip,
right? And I was standing there meeting him for a movie and there was this kid He was doing his cut not an audition, but he was training practicing on the stage at the whiskey
Go-go and he was phenomenal. I mean that's a big word for me and all to say that but he was
Unbelievable I said lose this guy says another guy Robin Williams and he was there
He was climbing up the sides of the walls and all that. So I actually got to see him before most people did.
Wow.
Yeah, incredible, incredible.
Funny man.
And then did you, when you saw him popping up places,
you're like, that's that guy.
I know, more commendi, wouldn't it?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Coming along after that, yeah.
I loved more commendi.
Yeah, yeah.
Man, I was obsessed with it.
The first program that I loved.
Yeah.
Like Little Kid and just being like, what is this?
You're a bit more.
Yeah, I base my whole personality on it.
Get it. I'll get it. Yeah. I still went to, well, when I was a little kid,
went to church every Sunday. I don't go anymore. I wouldn't normally point that out,
but I want to make it. I think I'm cool. So like, but we were to go away in Sunday school and write
a little profile about ourselves. Yeah, with the kids at the church, I was going to go on the wall. And one was who your hero is. All the other kids
wrote Jesus, I wrote Robin Williams.
Yeah, yeah. Good choice.
Yeah. It's either Jesus or Robin Williams.
Which one of the options?
Yeah, those are the options.
Yeah.
We've got two things to talk about here, Ray. You seem to be in charge of Netflix now.
Oh, yeah. Damsel and the gentleman.
Yeah. Damsel and the gentleman.
How do you do the keys to the
flicks? I just think it happened that way because you know COVID and all that kind of stuff and then
the strike in America. So these two things kind of drawn together, you know, very enjoyable jobs.
They're not a bad company to work for, you know. Yeah, I mean it seems it. Yeah. I mean you're
allowed to get on with it and allowed to do what you want to do pretty much like you guys in the
studio. Yes. Yeah, well Benito actually keeps us in a very tight, very tight leash.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Are you Italian, Mexican? What are you?
Are you Italian or what?
Yeah. Yeah.
Is that the co-co- the quiet, silent, cold type?
Yeah. Yeah. It's exactly if you've immediately
sussed him. Yeah. Got him.
Tell us a little bit about the gentleman. So Guy Richie is involved in this.
He is. Yeah. And you know where you're going to get with Guy. I mean, he's stylised. It is what it
is, this action is the way you go. It's shot beautifully. I saw the first episode the other
night, which I'm not in. I might act, but I watched it and really, really enjoyed it. Yeah.
So it's based on the film? I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't actually
I didn't see the film. Do you not? No. I watched it on the plane. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. Which
a compliment. Did they call the swearing out on the plane? Yeah. But I put it in myself.
You said it out loud. Yeah. Yeah. I got I got I, unfortunately, he'd put the sex scenes in as well. So did you?
I want the authentic experience.
Yeah.
Can you talk about your character in the general?
Kind of, yeah, it's kind of like the boss, you know,
he's in charge of the way things go.
You find this out as you go along.
I don't want to give too much away.
But he's the father of the young girl in it who's absolutely fantastic.
I mean, it's a good cast anyway. And he's kind of pulling the strings, I guess, from
inside his prison cell.
No one's casting you as anyone but the boss, right?
You're the boss.
Well, it depends who's in the film, isn't it, really? I mean, I'm getting to that age
now where I'm not going to be the lead too much,
you know, I'm going to be the filling, I'm going to be there just bringing a bit of, I don't know,
gravitas to the event, you know. Is that a nice point to be in your career? I don't mind, I've done
it, you know, and there's some great kids out there coming through, some really talented people,
so I don't mind, I've had my bit, I've done it, you know, enjoyed it, but I'm still here.
Yeah.
I feel like it when you're not the boss.
Like, like, departed or something.
I want to be a lover, I want to be a lover.
You're not quite the boss in those.
There's people.
You have to push it along though, they get on your nose a little bit, they start fucking
about.
So you have to keep going and keep going and pushing it and pushing it and pushing it,
letting them have it.
Yeah. And in Damsel, you're a lord. You're Lord Bayford in Damsel.
Yeah, again I'm playing the dead. I'm a father. You know, I'm a father to a princess or a young lady who's
going to become a princess. Yeah. So that's more of like a fantasy sort of?
Yeah, it's kind of a mixture of, you know, what old fairy stories were and I guess we've modernised it a bit.
fairy stories were and I guess we've modernised it a bit. I remember meeting Juan Carlos, the director, had a great chat with him, I really like this guy and I was a good director, really good director.
And then the chat was going to be about, I had no interest really of being in a fantasy kind of
movie, you know, it's not what I enjoyed doing but when I sat down and had a chat with this guy,
then I started thinking about, you know, I've got a great sons now and I, you know,
they'd be great with him to see it
rather than me punching someone.
I'm going to be in a fantasy guy.
They've got plenty of that to watch.
Fight dragons and all that kind of stuff.
When they get older, they can watch you punch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But this one's great.
And, you know, the costume department were incredible.
I mean, the armor I had to wear in it
as a 66 year old man, was real armour.
And it was crazy, I couldn't move.
I mean, if I was a knight in the old days,
I definitely want to take the armour off to have a tear up.
Because you actually can't move.
If you fall over, you can't get up.
So I had to carry this around with a collar.
And they thought it was very funny.
But yeah, that was a tough bit of the filming.
But I may have to say it looks incredible.
It looks incredible.
And I think it's going to be a quite special little film, you know.
Fantastic.
Were you filming these quite close to each other or even at the same time?
No. No, Danzel was done, I think it was during and just after Covid.
I remember flying out to Portugal.
I'd had a COVID test the night before and I was negative.
And we got the Portugal had another test
because you have to before you go and say,
and I was positive.
I couldn't go on separate week until it cleared.
And it was a swimming pool there
and we had our barbecue going and I felt great.
What's that all about? I've come on holiday, you know, he says like
I've been in a beautiful part of the world. Obviously as well. I know I've already mentioned
sexy beast, but you say you buy a swim pool on the barbecue in hot weather.
The derby, just the derby, and you're sweating in love.
You're not going to work. Well, they turn in a every day going, we need you on set and you're like,
no, I can't come back.
And they're like, yes, say yes.
No, no, they were telling me to stay there.
Yeah, yeah.
So I was there with me short.
Someone with a nice little shorts.
Yeah.
Laying around the pool.
Joe would be at the barbecue, giving it loads.
Yeah.
He's cooking nice pasta as well.
Yeah.
Cooking nice pasta.
Yeah, we'd do a nice chicken or something like that.
Sounds like they do.
All week.
Yeah, it does sound like that. They work though. You know, they do a bit of gruff. that. Sounds like a week. Yeah, it does sound like a week.
They work, they do a bit of gruff.
I didn't mind the holiday, it was fine.
I mean, the rest, it was fine.
Yeah, I mean, already there,
the way you described the food on the barbecue,
we can tell that you appreciate food,
which is good for this podcast.
That would be the money, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
In fact, it was very difficult to think of a proper dish, you know,
that I really do enjoy because so many Japanese all the way through. I've been lucky because
in the job that I do, you travel. And if you're lucky enough to, you travel to places where not
necessarily the tourists go, you go to places where the locals go because that's where you're
going to film, you know. And that's when you find the real cooking and the real bits that you enjoy.
Rather than going somewhere where all the tourists are and you get a pizza and you
get this and you get that, you know, I've been lucky enough to go to places where
it's very diverse, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's see how that plays out
throughout your menu. We always start with still a sparkling water. Do you have a preference? Sparkling. Yeah. Yeah straight in the straight away. Yeah always sparkling. Yeah
It's a bit more interesting, isn't it? There's always something going on. You get a big half a lemon and squeeze it in there
You got half a lemon squeeze then. Yeah, bang if you're gonna have a drink have a proper drink, you know, yeah
Yeah, you know dumb ass around, you know Water's water, that's all it is.
Yeah.
It's very good, we need it to live.
Yeah.
But it's, you know, you can fancy it up a little bit.
Yeah, nice.
Do you have a particular sparkling water that you like?
No, no, they're all the same, believe me.
You know, some are more sparkling than others, I know, but yeah, it's a load of cobblers,
really.
Some are getting a lot of money out of sparkling water.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, it should be free. Someone's getting a lot of money out of bottling water. It should be free.
It's natural, you know.
You sound like, what I'm getting so far,
you don't really trust people.
But like, like the...
Especially in, I mean, South London,
I've got to be very careful over here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Are there a lot of sparkling water gangsters over there?
Yeah, Millwall.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, yeah.
I didn't know Millwall had got into this sparkling water.
They're getting there every single week, mate.
So that's got, I'm glad that you squeezed in the lemon in there as well.
Some people just put the lemon wedge in or...
Depends how much lemon you like.
Yeah.
If you just want a little bit of an aroma going on, then you just drop it in.
Yeah.
But if you like a lot of lemon...
Yeah.
You've got to squeeze it in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially with ice, got it in the ice. Yeah like a lot of lemon, you've got to squeeze it in.
Especially with ice, got to have ice.
Yeah, are you doing the crushed ice?
I imagine you were,
because you're always trying to squeeze in that lemon.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, crushed ice is lovely,
but it melts very quick.
With a spout in water, you want chunks.
Chunks, big chunky ice.
I agree with the squeezing the lemon one.
When people put a wedge in,
or like if I have a gin and tonic or something,
and there's like a wedge of lime in there, some people just leave it to bob around. It's not doing anything. Well, I usually leave the squeezing the lemon. When people put a wedge in, or like, if I have a gin and tonic or something and there's like a wedge of lime in there,
some people just leave it to bob around.
It's not doing anything.
Well, I usually leave the lemon in there
if I'm wearing a Vodka and Coke,
something like that, leave it in every time.
So I know how many I've had.
So when you're making another one,
you put a fresh one in and a fresh one in,
and you know how many drinks you've had.
That is genius.
Yeah, that's right.
And then how many lemons would have to be in there for you
to say I'm not gonna have another one?
When he can't get no more drinking.
Where's a glass of lemon?
Yeah, when it's a big glass of lemon.
Popped on the bread, popped on the bread, right?
Winston, popped on the bread.
Oh, depending on the bread and where you are,
in Italy, the bread's very good.
Here, I don't know, it sticks in my throat a little bit here,
so I like the sourdough and a little bit like that, you know. But I don't want the crispy stuff,
it's all right, depending what you've got. If you're having a ruby, you want to pump it down.
Yeah. Yeah. Or an arm.
No. Yeah. A ruby.
You come on, you know that. That's entry level.
Come on, liven yourself up.
Come on, you know.
How long have you lived in London?
It's worth it for the response.
I've been living for, what no, 14 years now.
Where are you from originally?
Kettering in Northamptonshire.
Yeah, just about, that sums it up.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Basically, yeah.
Right, got it.
You know Ruby.
Alright, I'm sure.
Even I know Ruby.
I should calm down a bit for him.
No, do not.
I've been to Maxime Winston the whole time.
So what would you have for your dream meal? Are you going bread?
No, I think I'd go. I know what my starter is and I've got kind of a middle starter as well. Yeah.
Before I get to the main course and I'm sticking very fishy today.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
Usually I love a river beef.
Yeah.
Love a river beef.
And I like, as I said, Japanese food.
I mean, because when I walk away after having a Japanese meal,
I never feel bloated.
That seems bang on. I feel good.
Yeah, yeah.
But when I'm having something when I'm over,
especially in this country,
yeah, so bread wouldn't be that.
I wouldn't have too much bread.
I'd have probably a little bit of something crispy,
a little bit crispy and light
just to get me ready for the first course.
Have some butter with it?
Yeah, yeah, a lot a little bit,
but I was just a bit blend, didn't I?
Yeah, yeah.
Or olive oil.
Nice.
Yeah, lovely.
A bit of olive oil, if you're having bread,
say I've bread as well.
I'll do it at home.
Olive oil, bum, bum, bum, done.
So I'll make my own olive oil.
I've got olive trees in Sicily, so I'll bring my oil alone for the family.
And we use olive oil now, more than we use butter.
It's just so much better for you, you know?
You make your own olive oil in Sicily.
How long have you been doing that for?
About five or six years, yeah.
Amazing.
Yeah, it's very green as well.
And really good for you, you know? Do you like botlet and label it up? Yeah, yeah. Amazing. Yeah, it's very green as well. Yeah. And really good for you, you know?
Do you like botlet and label it up?
Yeah, for the family.
Yeah, you know.
Do you put a special label on it or anything?
Yeah, my kids do it for me.
I'm not that fancy, I just, it's oil, that's it.
But they put on a little thing and all that, yeah.
I think they've got ideas of grandeur of opening up
an olive plant and all that.
Whoa, I'm just enjoying myself.
Yeah.
So I'm quite fascinated with this.
So you decided like five years ago
I'm gonna get some olive trees.
No, I've got a place out there
because I live half a year out there.
And there was a few trees on the land anyway.
And then I started to tidy the place up
because it was an old run down place.
And we started planting more trees.
And you know,
the olive tree is an amazing tree because it doesn't matter this year that the weather
was so diverse where we had no rain and we had, I mean literally up to 54 degrees.
Wow. It was getting, you know, so you think this
year's crop is going to be absolute crap,. It's gonna get nothing out of it.
And it's probably the best oil we've ever had.
And that's down to the olive tree.
The olive tree looks after itself.
Well, you gotta always give it a little trim there,
and then, you know, but basically it's an amazing tree.
And what you get off it, I've got almonds there
and pistachio, you know, so we, we kind of,
this year we lost all our crops and tomatoes
and things like that because, because of the weather. But usually we're really self-sufficient
there. You know, you're getting what you get and what you can't get, you go down the local
supermarket, you do that, but it's all local stuff.
Wow.
And you're eating, and I feel much better when I'm out there eating and what I do when I come home,
you know.
Yeah.
It's crazy.
That sounds delicious.
Sounds like you're living like you're in an Olivia advert.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, that sounds good.
Would you do an advert for Olivia?
No, not I think so.
Well, if it was the same as the betting adverts,
so is your head screaming.
The betting adverts were wonderful, I loved those.
But I'm not doing those anymore.
With that stop now, I had 12 years of that,
12 wonderful years.
Great company, great people.
And actually, you know, looked after me, paid me well.
So what if they approached you
and said we're gonna do an Olivia advert?
It's gonna be the same style as the Benton advert.
So it'd be like your head screaming 360 cameras,
but it'll be for that olive oil.
I'll do it, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Ha ha ha ha. But it'll be for that olive oil. Yeah. I'll do it, yeah. Yeah. Let's get into your dream menu proper, your dream starter.
Right, well, I've had to dig deep for this, but Dress Crab.
Oh, nice.
I think Dress Crab with a nice chunk of lemon on the side.
Yeah.
Seafood sauce, all done beautifully there.
You can't beat it.
In fact, once going back
about ten years ago I was in my local restaurant Smith's which I've been
gaining in my life great seafood and everything and he done me in there and
he doesn't even remember doing this for me but he done me in there he done me a
crab dress crab but he baked a cheddar cheese on top of it I got to see it's
incredible yeah dress crab with baked cheddar cheese on the top of it. I've got to say it's incredible. Dressed crab with baked cheddar cheese on the top
is different class.
I like lobster, but crab when it's done properly
is different gravy.
You get like, with the dressed crab,
they sort of separate out the white and the brown meat
or is it all just in there?
You can do that if you want to do that,
but I mean the way it is, you just open that up
and you put a load of cheddar cheese on the on top put it in the oven or under the grill
different clothes I gotta tell you you got to try it but he doesn't remember
doing it for you when I said when you do they said I didn't do it
he must be drunker than me yeah so they've not done it for you since no I
haven't asked for it since to be. Yeah,
you don't want to ruin that memory. No, one off it would be beautiful.
That's something, I mean, we don't get crab very often on this podcast. No, we don't.
Especially have a have a nice shout out for crab. Yeah. And do you want that one that he made you
that day as part of your dream? No, I think just a plain dress crab. Yeah, plain. Right. Yeah,
yeah. Simple. Yeah. To start you with and it's light and it just gets you in the flow
Especially if you're having fish you can have it before a river beef. It doesn't matter, you know, but if you're going with a fish
Yeah, just probably maybe a couple of cockles on the side. We'll throw a couple of cockles on the side for sure
Yeah, and you get to squeeze lemon again. Yeah, it's lovely. Yeah
There's a guy around,
Katrin used to go around the pub selling cockles
in the evening.
Yeah.
It'd wait until everyone was hammered.
Yeah.
So then you just go,
yeah, I'll buy a bunch of cockles.
Yeah, and we'll, cockles and we'll,
yeah.
I bought them once.
Did you?
Yeah, yeah.
We used to call them,
when we were kids we used to call them the smelly man.
Yeah, mum the smelly man's here.
But it's been a glory coming, man.
Yeah, everyone knew him was that, cause it's fish, you know. He smelled a fish. Yeah, of course the smelly man's here. Because it's been a glory coming by. Yeah, everyone knew him was that.
He knew the smell.
He smelled the fish.
Yeah, of course he knew.
That was part of the game, wasn't it?
Yeah, of course it was.
The smelly man.
Yeah.
And you would buy cockles off the smelly man.
I did it once.
I did it once.
I was like, would you?
Was that why you didn't buy him again?
No, it was alright, actually.
I just thought, actually, I never saw him again.
So maybe that was it.
It was like, right, I've got him.
No, he took all your money and he went on all of them. Yeah.
I overpaid for him, I think. That was great though. When you think of him days though,
you had all of them characters coming round to pubs. I mean, pubs now ain't the same, aren't they?
They've changed. The whole character of pub has changed. The whole reason you was there has changed.
You like to drink, but you mix with people and you converse, you know, and you have a laugh with different people
from all over the world, you know?
But now it's different.
You're very different going into pubs.
Well, you probably can't go into pub these days.
Can you?
Surely like, you'd be swamped.
You mean they'll swarm around you.
Oh boy.
They'll go Ray Winstons there.
No, I can't go into pubs where I live.
Yeah.
They're all used to me walking about.
I don't really care.
Yeah, but that's the thing you're saying that you used to be able to just like talk to
those strangers and stuff in the pub, you can't do that.
Yeah, but no, it's people don't talk to people anymore really, do they?
What about in Sicily?
Do you, is there like, you're gonna hang out in a bar in Sicily?
Yeah, it's bars, clock tower.
You go up a clock tower, that's good.
It's a little town called Cencana.
And it means tiny bells, I think it means.
And it's just the same faces you see all the time.
And I know all the families anyway,
the kids live near me in Essex.
You know, they're all people who've got greenhouses,
who sell cucumbers, cucumbers, tomatoes,
and all that sort of stuff.
But so I know they're sons and I know they're kids,
and you know, I know they their mums and dads and uncles
and that, you know.
So it's just like being part of a family, you know.
It's all right.
It reminds me very much of what London was
when I was a kid, you know.
You knew everyone in the street.
Sounds really corny on our hand.
You're probably sick to death for hearing it,
but doors were open, you know were open, neighbors help neighbors.
It was a different world.
And I kind of get that there.
You know, when my grandchildren come,
they walk about the streets till two o'clock in the morning.
But I don't worry, everyone's watching.
Everyone looks after that kid, you know?
Used to be like that here.
It's not like it anymore.
I don't know, I wrote, you know.
Is it good like that? Yeah, there's a WhatsApp group. I don't like it anymore. I don't know, our road, you know. Is it good like that?
Yeah, there's a WhatsApp group.
A what?
A WhatsApp group.
Oh yeah.
We're all on the WhatsApp group.
Yeah.
Neighbours help neighbours.
There's been some parcel people.
Well that's great.
Parcel people recently.
So I go at the end of the road,
put out a bait parcel.
Oh right, okay yeah.
He put, to quote him,
he put 15 kgs of crap in a box.
And he's gonna wait to see if they try and steal that.
So you know, it's still.
Crumper geese out. it's still nice around London.
I love it. Okay. Where's good weird?
Yeah. Someone on my friend's WhatsApp group posted a photo going,
who's cat is this? It was my friend's cat. Yeah.
And she was like, it was my cat, but it was wearing a t-shirt in the photo
and it wasn't wearing a t-shirt when I left my house in the morning.
So I'm going to put a t-shirt on their cat.
Well, it's very neighborly, innit?
Yeah.
It's just their cats walking around wearing a t-shirt.
What sort of t-shirt was it?
Just a plain white t-shirt but made for a cat.
Well, nothing on it, no writing on it.
Yeah, just a cat t-shirt, plain white.
But the cat's first time in its life wearing a t-shirt,
all rigid, just walking around in it.
So I was like, it's cats.
Oh, walking around, no, upright.
No, one on full.
No, no, no, no.
Okay, alright.
DREAM MAIN COURSE, right?
Now, we know this is gonna be...
Oh, well, no, I've got a little course.
You've got a little course in between the two.
I love it.
If you don't mind.
I don't mind at all.
Artichokes. Lovely. Right, now you're getting mind. I don't mind at all. Artichokes.
Lovely.
Right, now you get an artichoke and it's very good for you.
You know, once you've eaten that,
it cleans you out inside, really looks out for you.
So what you do with an artichoke,
you put it in the pan and you wash it.
Wash it for about, I don't know, 45 minutes or so.
So you think they're clean, dry them off,
get all the water out of them, give them a little bit of them.
Cut them in half and if they're the spik them off, get all the water out of them, give them a little bit of them. Cut them in half, and in spite of they're the spiky ones,
you cut the spikes off,
you don't want to be messing about with them.
Cut them in half, and then you put your olive oil on them.
So it's sitting, the pain, like with the half up, right?
So you've done with that.
Black pepper, or white pepper, and salt, plenty of salt.
Plenty of sally on them, right?
Yeah.
Bomb in the oven, burn them.
Oh, wow.
Got to burn them, because your arse won't burn.
You eat them.
They're the governors.
Yeah.
They are the governors, yeah.
And they're very, very good for you.
Yeah.
The trouble is I eat too many of them,
because I just really like them, you know?
Yeah.
And that's that pepper and salt and the olive oil and all that.
And that could be a bit dangerous the next day.
You can be too cleaned out inside, can't you?
Yeah, absolutely, and in the wrong place.
Yeah.
You know, so you've got to be a bit careful with them.
But they're amazing.
So you've had the crab, which is nice and light.
You've had the artichoke, which is also light, but it's doing you very, very, very good inside. And then you're getting ready then.
Yeah.
Right, and you've been eating a couple of cockles
on the way through.
Yeah, and the smiling man.
Right, and then you're getting ready.
And we only have no wine with this dinner.
If you want.
Yeah, nice, but I know it's fish,
and people say you shouldn't have red wine with fish,
which I think is a lot of cobblers.
You drink what you like.
Yeah, I never stick to those rules.
No, so you want a nice bottle of Nero Davila,
which is kind of the grape that comes from the foot of Etna.
Right, so it's nice and mineral, right?
Beautiful red wines, Pallinetta du Hum and all that kind of stuff.
Fantastic, fantastic wine.
So you've got to have a drop of red.
Or a nice Amaroni, which is from the north of Italy.
I like Italian wine.
Yeah. It's good stuff, you know? But I also do a rose, a planetta, which is a good wine.
I'm not a white wine drinker, don't like it, gives me a date.
But the rose is very, very, very good.
So we've got our wine sorted.
Lovely. Nice.
So all three bottles of that are on the table.
As many as you like.
Yeah, yeah. Okay. That's lovely.
Artichokes sound amazing.
I think once you realise that you can just season the wine All three bottles of that are on the table. As many as you like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's lovely.
Artichokes sound amazing.
I think once you realize that you can just season vegetables
and grill them and they're delicious.
Absolutely, you don't need nothing else.
It's so easy to go for a phase of just doing that all the time.
Absolutely, yeah.
Yeah, I do that with leeks and with aubergines
and like it's just so good.
Well, could it so gear up, Sicily, for vegetables?
You find yourself eating less and less red meat.
I love, I'm a red meat eater, I love it.
But out there, the vegetables are so good.
It's like a pepper, you pick a pepper up.
It's like eating an apple.
It's not like here, when it's been in a fridge
for about two months, you know?
Unless you go to a farm shop or something and get it local.
Here, in Sicily, you pick to a farm shop or something and get it local here in Sicily you pick up a
Pepper and you crunch it and you go oh would you do that?
Did you walk around just eating a pepper like an apple? Not all the time
You know if I want an apple, I'll have an apple. Yeah, you know, it's that kind of it's that good. Yeah
Yeah, really is yeah a good pepper. It doesn't like
Yeah, yeah, really is yeah a good pepper. It doesn't like Yeah, and with the peppers it's an old seed, you throw them in a pan. Yeah. This is another little veggie dish
You just frighten it on a pan with loads of olive oil on it, Parmesan cheese all over it
Put that in the oven for 25 minutes and it burns the peppers down and the Parmesan
It just kind of thickly melts over it and he crunch on that. Ah, yeah, yeah.
Well, I mean.
Ha ha ha ha.
Sound like Tony's a pro, though.
He's doing very well.
It would really get in my head if I walked into someone's house
and they picked up a pepper and ate it like it was an apple.
Yeah.
I don't know, that's a power.
We're down, we're down, we're checking.
No, it's just a power play, isn't it?
Because you're not expecting it.
No, I suppose it really would throw you, wouldn't it?
Yeah, if they just held eye contact
and just bit into it full pepper.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So your dream main course,
we know it's gonna be a fish.
It's gonna go with all, yeah, all this wine to go with it.
And you built up to it beautifully
with the crown and the choc.
I'm full up, you know what I mean?
I'm full up.
I think I'm ready.
Yeah, Dover's Soul.
Oh, lovely.
And do you know what?
I was in Sicily, I'm not a lover of Mediterranean fish. I mean, I'll
eat it and it's all right and all that. But I like, I was brought
up Atlantic fish, that cold water fish, you know, and for
certain months of the year in Sicily, you can get Dover
Soul. It's November, I ran at November time. And I was in this
restaurant called Lempada in Shaka and I see when I brought
it out they had Dover Soul I went, Dover Soul fantastic and so I told him I liked it in the pan
you know with butter wine being being being turned it over but I want it on the bone I don't want
it all taken off the bone so you only get a little bit I like the whole fish you know and he said
yes he's he's he's he's no problemo so he's taking it away and he's brought it back. But
it must have got lost in translation because what he's done, he's left the whole fish and
he's cooked it out of arson, but he's put it in a tempura, right? And I went destroyed
me because I was so looking forward to having the fish the way I'd asked for it, right?
And I'm not one who kicks up a fuss and all that,
oh, well that's what it is, you know?
And he's put his fish down, I've looked at it, it's a Dover soul in Tampora.
Ah, fuck it.
You know, I've waited till November for Dover souls,
and his prick has cooked it with Tampora.
But anyway, I'll Mr. Lair, thank you, very nice.
Thank you very much.
Right?
And it was the best thing I've ever eaten.
Wow.
It was so light at tempura.
Never seen Doversoul done in batter or, you know,
I've had place and it was just close and all that.
But this was done in a tempura.
And it was incredible, the way the guy had cooked it.
And I'd gone from ordering something that I really wanted
to getting something that it really fucked up, right?
To something that was incredible.
And it was an incredible dish.
And I thought about all the stuff that I love.
I love beef and I love, you know,
the Japanese gear and Mexico.
I can eat anything, you know, ruby.
I love a ruby, you know, it's the greatest thing in the world.
James?
Curry, old chap.
But this is gonna be one of the best experiences
I've ever read of eating a bit of Lillian Gish.
Do you think it did get lost in translation
or do you think he listens
to everything you said went back to the kitchen, went I'm going to do it the way that I want to do
it? I think so. Yeah. I think that's exactly what happened. And that's what good shifts do I
suppose. Yeah. Because they're artists in a way. And I think he knew it was so good the way he was
going to do it. And there was no way. I'd like to think that anyway. Yeah. So it was fine. And I
think he quite enjoyed me having the yammer bed.
Yeah, yeah.
To be fair, you could tell.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think he was a little bit stabby in the Becky.
But until I ate it, and then I went,
he was watching me and I went, yeah, all right.
It's the governor.
That is the governor.
That's an absolutely delicious.
Yeah, that sounds good.
That thin batter where it's clearly like the fish
is like steamed inside the batter. Unbelievable what he's done, you know, and that Atlantic sea taste
for me is, I don't know, it's just different class to what you get. The med is, because I wasn't
brought up there, I suppose if you're brought up there, you're used to that kind of flavor, you know,
and it's much, I don't know, it's more meatier
there fish. Then again, you'll eat a cod, but it's something about the texture and the coldness,
even though you've cooked it, you feel like the flavors, there's more flavor there, you know.
So yeah, I prefer a norphaline kind of fish. Also, I quite like to just roll back a little bit,
because I think there was a
moment earlier that we didn't really appreciate enough of is when you said Badda Bing earlier.
And you looked right at Ed. Yes. And I think there's the nose that you looked right at Ed and said
Badda Bing. And I'd like to just check in with Ed how that felt. Fantastic. One of the best moments
of your life. It was fantastic. Well, well, please do you like it. I loved it. I knew that Ed would have enjoyed that.
Oh, wonderful.
I think James was jealous he didn't get a butterbeg.
No, no, no, no.
James rolled it back.
I'll do something else for you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I was feeling very Tony Soprano. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
With you, I don't know what I was feeling.
Yeah, I mean, who knows?
I don't know what you were having to with the habit of that.
Here's a question that I'm going to make up on the spot.
Yeah.
Say they did a film where it was about a group of gangsters,
but they're all from different pre-existing things.
I say Tony Soprano's in there.
Yeah.
And you get to be in the gang, playing one of the gangsters you've played.
You can choose who.
Yeah, OK.
And then who else would you want in there?
Oh, James Cadney.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Ah, Edward G. Robinson.
Love it.
Oh.
I'm just, oh, I've got to take a moment.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, Humphrey Bogart. Yeah, yeah. Hey, good, isn't it? Yeah, a moment. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I'm free bow guard.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, good, isn't it?
Yeah, a gangster super group.
Yeah.
Which one of yours?
Bob Hoskins.
Oh yeah, Hoskins.
Oh yeah.
Hoskins, when I was like a little kid,
I was watching him in fun roles.
Yeah.
Who fame Roger rabbits?
Yeah, sure.
And then-
When I said diversity was-
Yeah, when I first saw him do scary,
I was like, I can't believe I'm scary.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's probably scary.
Oh, you know, he is. I've worked with him.
I loved him to death.
He was probably.
He's Matt Bavoski's and Robin Williams.
Well, I didn't meet Robin Williams.
I was watched him. Yeah.
He just had both those things.
I've been around, kid.
Which one of your characters
would win in a fight against all the rest of your characters?
Oh, that's a good question, isn't it?
Oh, that's a bit below the belt, isn't it?
Oh, I don't know. Who would win a fight?
Royal Rumble, all your characters are in the ring together.
He's coming out on top.
Oh, God, I don't know. I can't answer that. Because I feel like he's cheating on one of them.
Yeah, you love them all.
No, not all of them.
I don't know.
Probably the guy with a nil by mouth, but he'd be dirty.
I mean, I know he's a bully and all that, but he was a horrible guy.
Yeah, a nil by mouth is the and you get a feeling even in the nil by mouth.
He's going to go back and do the geezer when he's not looking.
You know, he's he's a bit slippery, and we don't like him.
No, we do not like that. No, he's a bit slippery, really. We don't like him. No, we do not like that, Matt.
No, he's an horrible man.
Nasty hole, man.
Yeah, there you go.
I've got nasty hole plans, so straight to me.
Dream side dish.
Dream side, yeah.
Oh, well done, yeah.
The dream side dish for this. Dream side dish. Dream side, yeah. Oh, well done, yeah. The dream side dish for this.
Dream side dish is so many.
Well, if I'm keeping with the fish,
then, yeah, I'm a side, but see,
I would like cauliflower cheese.
Oh, nice.
With the Dover salt.
Yeah, yeah.
I think that would go, you know,
don't need the potatoes.
Mm-hmm.
So there's no chips involved.
Maybe a little bit of mesh.
Might have a little bit of mesh. Might have a little bit of mesh,
but definitely cauliflower cheese.
I like that you've got, because it's very,
as you keep saying, very light meal so far.
So you need that bit of richness.
Yeah, because you're going out after.
You're going out after.
Oh yeah, we'll get out of here.
Yeah.
Where would you go to for the after you've dreamed meal?
Depends where I was.
Yeah, yeah.
You've got to be careful.
It's dangerous out there.
Pleasure to dream meal so that like like you can have the meal wherever you want
Well, maybe you want maybe you just like to leave that there
Freeding quite light. Yeah, nice walk out on a nice balcony where you're overlooking
The sea because you're at seafood. Yeah, and sit down with your wife
You know and sit there and have a nice glass of something. Just have
a little chat while she watched the moon go across the sky.
Love that. That's beautiful. I didn't know I was capable of that.
What a wonderful scene. What would you be chatting to your wife about? What's some of
the best conversations? That's private.
You've got the cauliflower cheese. Is there a particular like cauliflower cheese that's
you know, the best place you've had it, the best person who's made it for you when you've
gone to the house?
They make it very good in Smith's in the onga. I like coli, because when I have fish, I usually
have a little bit of cauliflower cheese and everyone else goes, oh, they're cauliflower
cheese and they'll want some. So I make sure I get two of them. You know, you want the
two, that was you. It's always the way.
So you'd like me to bring out two cauliflower cheese for your drink?
Absolutely, because even though my wife would say, oh, I don't have cauliflower cheese,
she will.
So you need a deep drink?
It's like when you come out and work late at night, you know, I always phone up and
say, listen, I'm going to pick something up on the way home. We're going to get the Chinese takeaway.
Does anyone want anything there?
No, no, no, no, we've eaten.
Okay, all right, fine.
As soon as I put a phone, I know, I know,
I order a little bit extra.
Keep it in another bag, right?
And you walk in, because when,
as soon as you've got your bag out,
you've been away all day.
Just want a little bit, you know, they want it.
They want some.
Oh, that looks, I'll have a bit of that.
I'll give them the bag.
Here's the bag.
Because if they don't want it,
I know I've got that for lunch the next morning.
Oh, nice.
Cold Chinese company.
Oh, yeah.
It's always like you're just throwing it
to the other side of the room to distract them, right?
Just go away.
Yeah.
That's what you could be talking to your wife about
after the meal.
I told you.
I'm not going there.
I told you already.
I won't tell you again.
It's frisking on it.
It's private.
Your dream drink.
Now, you've got all the bottles of wine for on the meal.
But do you have a drink that is your dream drink,
your perfect drink?
No, I do drink because it's an easy drink.
And you don't get an
hangover with it I found is a Vodka and Coke. Yeah. Funny enough. I was so hoping you'd say
vodka and cramber juice. I was getting ready to say it. I was getting ready to say what is it your
period? In the summer, in the summer, in the summer, vodka and feta orange or cranberry juice. What was it, your period?
It'd be funny.
Yeah.
Get this guy a cranberry juice.
That's from the DePyre.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He doesn't know that.
Yeah.
That's not me just being the sloshest man.
But you want vodka, Coke?
Yeah, easy drink for me.
I love a Jameson's.
Yeah.
Like a nice Jameson's.
Drink too much of it though, it hurts you. So, you know, you kind of. I love a Jamesons. Yeah, that's Jamesons drink too much of it. No, it hurts you
So, you know, you kind of leave that out a little bit. I do like Jamesons. Yeah, so for the vodka coke
What?
I don't know what to ask about that. What vodka?
Do you like ice? Do you like ice? Really? Do you like ice for it? Yes, I do
I like loads of ice and crushed ice is nice for it, and a slice of lemon.
Lemon, we're getting through that.
He's squeezing the lemon in it?
No, no, no, no, no.
Keep it in there, you know what I mean?
No, because it's too acidic, it's too acidic.
So just that one, you don't squeeze, you just put it in.
I didn't say no, yeah.
Sometimes you can smell a bit damp lemon,
if you know it's in a drink.
So I was in some places, will they cut it up?
They put that in your drink and the lemon smells damp.
Oh, so the drink doesn't smell damp.
I can't nose the lemon.
I mean, you're holding the dampest thing in the world.
Yeah. A drink.
Yeah, I know.
But it's obviously been laying about somewhere,
isn't it, the lemon.
Yeah, old pub lemons.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is there a particular vodka that you like?
What's the one you like?
Oh, I did, you know, Grey Goose. Yeah, yeah. Is there a particular vodka that you like? What's the one you like? Gustav had?
I did, you know, Grey Goose.
Although it's French funny enough, it's quite nice,
but then I get, I thought, it's taking the piss, isn't it?
I mean, it's for the bottle, you're paying for the bottle.
Yeah, there's a lot of that.
So, you know, vodka and Stodgy Nile, it's quite good.
If you can have a vodka, have a Russian or Czech one,
I suppose, you know.
Yeah, yeah.
But the English started doing it. My farm you can have a vodka, have a Russian or Czech one, I suppose. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but the English started doing it.
In my farm shop, we're selling English vodka.
And I have to say it was rather good. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was a bit iffy. No, you had, look, all those other Russian people,
did what you said, so it must have been a legit...
Well, I'd know, I had a bit of power going on about it, yeah.
It's funny, because I shot that twice.
The first time I shot it, I'd done it.
Because you're playing kind of like this guy
who actually grooms young women.
So I played him as a nuns, you know, this pedophile. And I kind of didn't
know. I thought he was a little bit heavy for the character, so I had to go and shoot
it all again. Did they call you up and go? We've just watched it back and you're being
too much of a pedophile in this. Well, that was kind of getting to that kind of level yeah you know. So like they kind of do it again. But it doesn't make sense with the characters
right? Well you know it's done, it's done. You're there with the director, you play the part, you
work it out and then all of a sudden um someone will suit your size that you know it's got to do
it another way. Do you think you're like often they've better at characters in the MCU and stuff?
Do you think he's done for good? I would you think he's a little... I would have thought so, yeah.
I would have thought so, yeah.
He seemed to have died.
Yeah, I think so, yeah.
Looked like he did, yeah.
In every possible way.
Yeah, yeah.
But then a multiverse version of him might come back.
Oh, you never know, you never know, yeah.
That's the thing.
It could be like, that is good,
you know, wake up in the shower or something.
Yeah, yeah.
We'd be like, Dallas, couldn't it? You know, wake up in the shower or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Your dream dessert, please, like?
Creme brulee.
Lovely.
It's light, isn't it?
It's again, it's light.
You don't feel it get up on the table for you.
I mean, I love a sticky toffee pudding.
Love it to death.
If I'm gonna get up and then lay on the city,
that's the one to have.
Or Blackberry and Apple crumble.
I had that yesterday, it was fantastic.
I'll tell you, we've double cream on it.
Oh, anyway, but if you're out and you're having something
to eat in a very light and it'd be a crème brûlée.
You like cracking the top?
Yeah, I had that little bit of toffee on the top.
Cracking the top's such a joy.
Very, yeah, I'll always crack the top.
Yeah.
But it's nice and light again, you know.
You don't get up on the table thinking, oh, you know.
Yeah, you don't, it's still glass.
Nowadays, there's loads of different flavor
quenbules as well, but would you...
Classic.
It sounds like you're going for the classic.
Yeah, the classic.
Yeah, the custard.
I mean I've had it with raspberries and strawberries on top and all that, which is all very nice
but you can have a classic.
Yeah.
Just down so it's all caramelised.
I always find like with creme brulee, so I love a good creme brulee, but so many places
don't do it very well.
So I'm trying to get a glimpse of other people's on different tables and see if they've got
it. But if I haven't been able to catch a glimpse by other people's on different tables and see if they've got it. But if they, if I
haven't been able to catch a glimpse by the time I order
dessert, I very rarely will order it blind. You've got to
listen for the crack. Really? Yeah. Because sometimes if you
get a bad one, if it comes in a really shallow dish, I'm gutted.
Yeah. So I want a lot of the custody stuff underneath the
crack. I want a big crack at the top. And I want it to be really
luscious. Yeah, you luscious big crack. Yeah, you do. I love a big crack at the top, and I want it to be really luscious. Yeah, he likes a big crack. Yeah, he does.
I love a big crack.
He does, he does, he does.
You should be able to,
you should just listen in the restaurant, right?
And there should be cracks everywhere.
Oh yeah, if you're here, yeah.
Well, the next time you're in there, just say,
look at, is the dish deep,
and has he got a big crack?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And see what he comes back with.
Beforehand, you've got to say,
I've got a question about the creme brulee.
Yes.
You can't say, I've got a question,
does it have a big crack?
Well, I don't know if it's a good way.
You could try.
Yeah, you could try.
Give that a go first.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, I'll get nervous.
I don't order it a lot of the time,
even though I know it's good.
What is your favorite dish?
I mean, I could eat ice cream for the rest of my life.
What about the Japanese ice cream?
Yeah. With a thick coat around it.
Oh yeah.
Have you had the mango one?
Yeah, yeah.
Very good.
Oh, my name brought some.
The little Mocchi, the Mocchi balls.
Yeah, she brought one from somewhere like Iceland.
Yeah.
And then these, I said, where'd you get them from?
She said, I went Iceland.
I went Iceland.
And now, these got coconut ones.
Yeah.
And mango.
The mango.
Yeah. Delicious. Little moons, I think, is the name of the company. And there, there's got coconut ones and mango. The mango. Oh!
Delicious.
Little moons, I think, is the name of the company.
Is that what they are?
Yeah, they're amazing.
They're mochi, like rice.
Fantastic.
Yeah, so good.
My local cinema, instead of having like a nice,
Ben and Jerry's thing, I've got little moons.
I think.
So it's just loads of different flavours are there,
but you can pick and mix your own.
Oh, fantastic.
Yeah.
I've been here all day long.
Yeah.
You have one, don't you?
You empty the box, I'll just do the box.
I just love them to death.
You could go to cinema, get a load of little moons
and eat them while watching yourself.
Yeah.
Could do.
Every time you appear on screen, you eat a little bit.
Oh, there's no one.
It's a no one.
Can you watch yourself back?
Some people can't, right?
I think it's all part and parcel of it.
Learning curve, isn't it?
You know when you're good, you know when you're bad.
And hopefully you know how to put that right
if it goes wrong.
But once you've watched it, you've watched it.
It's done.
And maybe years and years down the road,
you come home one night, you've been out,
turn the TV on and there's a film with you in it.
And you watch it 10 minutes and you end up watching it all
depending on
You know, but you do you know that way, but you don't sit down thinking oh right I'm gonna watch me in a film Yeah, I've been a bit of a prat
When I first come out because that's where you judge it they're made for film
Yeah, a bit different now, you know Netflix that. Our film's been made for the TV,
but TV's now are like cinemas.
They've got all the surround sound.
You've got the TV up there,
which is widescreen and anamorphic.
And you go, if you get really close,
it's like being at the pictures, isn't it?
All our big Italian is, you know?
But it is like being at a cinema now.
You turn the lights down,
you've got the fucking sound going on. You bucket in many minutes. And it's like being in a cinema on there you tell the lights down you got the fucking sound going on your bucket and many minutes I've been at the pictures except you
ain't got a cue yeah mind you in my ass sometimes you're it's a particular cinema you like to go
because the hit not anymore I'm transparent about why I'm asking this yeah the first thing I've filmed
is going to get been the cinema thing I've never done anything like that before. And I'm really looking forward to going and watching it
in the Ketrinodean, where I used to watch films as a kid.
So I think that will feel really special
to watch it there rather than anywhere else.
Is there a place like that for you?
No, because not many of them are left.
I mean, I used to go every Wednesday with my dad
to the cinema.
He used to pick me up, because he works in the fruit market
and the meat markets and all that.
So he picked me up after work when I was coming out of school
and we'd go to the cinema every Wednesday.
And once a month we'd go up to West End to see a film
like Zulu, Thomas and Beckett, or whatever the film was
of the time, you know.
But the cinemas where I used to go when I was a kid,
they're not there anymore.
So even when we moved out, we moved out to North London
because they'd went into the fruit game
and he had fruit shops and all that.
The cinemas that were in Enfield
were the Florida and all that kind.
So they're not there.
They're not cinemas anymore.
You know, they'll have a co-op to something like that.
They're all gone, you know.
So I've got no connection with cinema.
Maybe the West End I have, because when we used to come up,
we used to go to the one at Marble Arch
or you'd go to the one at Leicester Square to see a film, a new film but really that's about it. You know,
cinemas, I guess the nearest cinemas to me now, Harlow. None in Sicily. No because the town itself
had a little cinema, very much like the cinema paradiso, you know, each town had a little
cinema but that's not their number.
To go to cinema, you have to go to Shaka, which is 40 minutes away, or Egrigento.
So, really, the big towns have, that's changed.
TV's changed it all, I guess, you know.
Well, I'm going to read your menu back to you now.
OK. See how you feel about it.
You would like sparkling water with ice and a squeeze of lemon.
Very good. You would like light crispy bread with your own olive oil. You would like a dress crab with lemon, seafood
sauce, cockles. And then after that, before the main, you would like burnt artichokes.
Main course, tempered over soul from Lampara. Side dish, two cauliflower cheeses from Smith's.
Maybe a bit of mash. Drink a vodka coke with with ice and a slice of lemon which you won't drink but we'll let you know how much you've had. You also want the planetamaran, neuro diavolo and planet
rose for the whole meal. No, you want the neuro diavolo is planeta and also the rose.
Amarone is a different wine. It comes from the north of the country, of Italy, which
is up further up. I think it's Veneto that kind of way. Near the Dolomites and all that
wine, my son.
That was straight up beneath that one. We all got one.
Also, please keep it earlier when you asked Ray to repeat the wine so that that has context.
And as you would like, Ray Ray creme brulee.
Yes. I like that, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, perfect. That sounds great. That sounds incredible.
Yeah. It does sound delicious. Would you like that?
Would you like that? 100%.
It's just quite good. Yeah.
I'd absolutely eat all of that.
I mean, the Dover Salad is awesome.
I'd tell you we're also getting good Dover Salad.
Scots. Yeah. Yeah, it's a good place that.
I've not been.
But my favourite, favourite fish restaurant that I've been going to since I was a little kid, you get a good dover so scott's yeah yeah it's a good place that yeah i've not been but my favorite
favorite fish restaurant that i've been going to since i was a little kid it's smith's you know
nga yeah i've never been a smith's oh you gotta go same people owned it the whole time as well
all the family yeah yeah yeah all the way through yeah i've ever been a scene where you've had to
eat loads of food in it and yeah i actually i'd done'd done a film with John Malkovich. Yeah. And I was sitting in a place, Piscaria,
I think it was in northern Italy.
And I had this, and I like truffle, you know?
Yeah.
I do like a bit of truffle.
Yeah.
And I had to eat this pasta in the scene with loads of,
the scene was all this kind of truffle being,
what's the name though?
And after the eighth plate of...
I don't think I went off of trouble for about a year.
Eating scenes, you learn as you go on, you gotta be careful when you're doing eating scenes,
like in Sexy Beast, sitting in the Dorchester, waiting for a... in McShane, he's talking to me, you know, I'm eating a hearty breakfast. He can get it right. Don't keep fluffing your words, I'm
sure he was doing it on purpose. I just kept eating and eating.
The worst thing, a full breakfast as well.
Yeah, but not just practicing the Dorchester.
Yeah, he's listening to Dorchester. Thank you very much, Ray. I've had a ball, boys, thanks very much. And great memories of food. Yeah. Yeah, he doesn't talk shit to me. Thank you very much, Ray.
I've had a ball, boys. Thanks very much.
And great memories of food.
Yeah. Yeah.
So it's good, you know.
Thank you so much, Ray. Cheers.
Well, there we are. What a treat to talk to Ray Winston.
Amazing. Such a lot of eye contact went on there.
We each got a line said to us by a.
There's a lot of fun.
Yeah, but I mean, no damsons from, from Ray either.
No. So it means we, I mean, I don't think we could have kicked him out of the
restaurant really.
No way.
I don't think we would have succeeded there.
No.
So, you know, I'm really glad.
Yes.
They didn't come up at any point.
Also just enjoying talking to him.
So.
Yes.
I'm looking forward to seeing dams all, which is out on March the 8th on Netflix. And I'm looking forward to seeing damsel, which is out on March the eighth on Netflix.
And I'm looking forward to watching the gentleman,
which is also on Netflix and is on in March.
So that's next month.
If you're listening to this on the day, it comes out.
I'm on tour hot diggity dog.
That starts in March as well.
Going all over the UK, popping over to Island as well.
Tickets edgambal.co.uk.
And hey, why not? If you're looking for a podcast to do after this, maybe something scripted.
Listen to Spring Leaf. Wherever you get your podcast, 10 episodes when undercover cop
plays his wire recordings for all to hear.
It's very, very good. I vouch for it. It's very funny. Very silly, boy.
Very silly. It's very, very silly. Now, we've been sent some food and we'd like to say thank you
to those people who've sent us food,
because that's nice of them.
Yes.
We got some coffee.
We always-
I love coffee!
James loves coffee.
We always like to have coffee here in the off-menu studio for us and our guests.
Yes.
We've got coffee from Rising Ground.
Yes.
Thank you very much for sending that and also coffee from Origin Coffee.
So thank you for that too.
Delicious.
Yes, Benito has just reminded me that I've been wearing my rising ground
t-shirt and such a nice t-shirt. I get compliments on it.
And then people are like, what is this clothing brand, rising ground?
And I'm like, it's a coffee.
So you're a walking advert, baby.
Yeah, yeah. It's working, you know.
Talking of t-shirts, I wear my prawn on the lawn t-shirt all the time, James.
I love my prawn on the lawn. I genuinely really love my prawn on the lawn t-shirt all the time James. I love my prawn on the lawn. I genuinely really love my prawn
on the lawn t-shirt and my prawn on the lawn cap. I don't know what prawn on the lawn is.
It's a restaurant James in Padstow in Cornwall. Well I have to go there because I do love wearing
the stuff. Very good branding. Everyone's always like, because little prawn is something like a
lawn chair, basically a glass. And I was always, ha-ha, what's this T-shirt?
Unlike prawn on the lawn?
Ha-ha-ha.
Oh, Benito's just told us there's also
a prawn on the lawn in London.
Yeah, well, we've got to go.
That would have been awful if we got all the way to Cornwall.
And then discovered.
And discovered there's one in London as well.
We would have felt like fools.
You know, nice to have a trip away, though.
Yeah, always nice to have a trip away.
Beautiful part of the world.
Shout out to Molden Salt as well. Yeah, I mean, that's very nice to them to send us stuff considering probably every
series someone mentions Moldon Salt on the podcast. Yeah, it's a freebie shout out. Yeah,
so thanks for sending all that loads of different flavors of salt, etc. And Dolston Soda's, I believe
you had a Dolston Soda. Just one of the ginger ones. Yeah, it's very, very nice with some zesty
lime in there as well.
I'm looking forward to, I think I'm going to have the cherry one at some point, even though I've already had that one. I know I like it, but like, you know,
sometimes you can't help it. You just want to go back to the stuff you know, you know, and love.
Well, thanks to all those people for sending us bits. It always goes down well. And, you know,
like I say, the Christmas party here always kicks off. We've always got lots of bits.
It's always loads of bits and people can help themselves to the bits.
We look like we've put on a lovely spread.
Well, you never come.
No, I don't want to.
Thank you very much to Ray for coming on the podcast.
Thank you very much for listening.
We will see you again soon.
Bye bye. Hello, my name is Ian Smith. And I'm Amy Gledhill. And we are from the
Northern News Podcast. Where we take a deep dive into the bizarre stories we find from
the North. Hey, and if you like food, and I know you like food actually, because you're listening to Off Menu.
We've got stories about pigs getting cooked off roundabout with crisps.
We've got stories about gravy wrestling in carparks.
We've got stories about restaurants getting one-star food hygiene ratings.
And record-breaking Yorkshire puddings.
And we've got special guests, which you may remember from off-menu episodes such as
Maisie Adam, Tim Key, Rosie Jones, Fata Helgore, Phil Wang and he hasn't been on off-menu but we've got
Kevin Kennedy who played Curly Watts in Coronation Street. Take that eh, caster! So please give a
listen to the Northern News podcast. Every Thursday wherever you get your podcasts.