Pardon My Take - Masters With Ryan Whitney & Kirk Minihane, OJ Simpson Dead, Shohei's Forensic Accounting Has Come Back + Fyre Fest Of The Week
Episode Date: April 12, 2024OJ Simpson is Dead. We talk Masters round 1 and Bryson is back (00:00:00-00:17:18). Shohei Ohtani's forensic accounting came back and we discuss what actually happened (00:17:18-00:28:55). Kentucky ha...s a new basketball coach and it's Mark Pope after everyone else said no (00:28:55-00:42:52). Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minihane join the show in studio to talk Masters, favorite current players, Augusta memories and more (00:42:52-01:30:09). We finish with an all time Fyre Fest as Hank accidentally slept until 1130 in the morning (01:30:09-01:53:37).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
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Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
On today's pardon my take, we have our good friends Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minahan in studio to talk some masters.
What we like this weekend, just the the the pomp and circumstance of Augusta, great time with those guys.
We are going to talk about some death.
We're gonna talk about the Masters first round.
We also have a new coach at Kentucky.
We have some details on the Shohei case.
And then we have a FireFest you're not gonna wanna miss.
You can miss it.
You're not gonna wanna miss it if you are someone who...
Well, if we're doing power rankings of this episode, a part of my take, I've got Hank
as my sleeper.
Yeah, big time sleeper.
Also, if you are just someone who likes to watch Hank suffer, the new PMTV is out as well.
So Fire Fest and new PMTV is kind of your Superbowl.
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only at Drafking SportsCirc with code TAKE. Today is Friday, April 12th and this is the
first part of my TAKE without OJ Simpson as a listener.
How about that?
Long time AWL OJ Simpson.
Big time. Remember when we almost interviewed him?
Yes.
He was getting let out of prison for the memorabilia.
I think we've told this story but PFT and I were approached and told that there was
an ad deal where we would literally be in a van picking him up from prison.
And we both were like, I don't know.
We usually don't know where the line is.
That was a pretty clear line to me.
It never got to the point.
It was just a thought starter that was presented to us. So it never got to the point where we could officially say no, but
we were definitely leaning like, I don't think this is the best. That episode would be doing
numbers right now. Yeah, we might've, we might've, if it had gotten official, we, we might've
done it. Yeah. Cause it, remember it was presented to us, but it never got to the point where
we're like, you got to give us a yes or no. If we had gotten to that point, we might have said
yes. I don't think we, I think we shut it down pretty quick if I remember, because we were like,
you know what? Uh, let someone else. He is a, he is a murderer. Yeah. Let's do it. Listen,
we'll have Dan Bilzerian on. He hasn't killed anyone that we know of, but OJ was a bridge too
far for us. The big news is it's finally okay to donate to cancer curing charities now again,
because now there's no chance that money goes cancer curing charities now again. Yes.
Because now there's no chance that money goes to help OJ.
To OJ, yeah.
So yeah, it's weird because OJ Simpson, there's not many deaths, especially people that are
getting up there in age where you're like, oh shit.
But OJ Simpson is like, oh shit.
Like oh, OJ died.
And guess what?
The best part, well, yeah, the best part of OJ's death.
I can't pick just one.
Okay, but here's one. If you tune into the Fire Fest today, you actually get to hear
Hank's reaction to OJ's death because he didn't find out for about eight hours after?
Eight hours afterwards. We got to break the news to Hank live and he pulled the Donald
Trump. What's this? What's this you're saying? I haven't heard of that.
It's the first I've heard of this. It was great. It was a great moment for the show.
I actually found out from Jeff D. Lowe this morning because I was doing something on my computer.
I was doing some paperwork and Jeff texted me and it was like 20 minutes before the news became official.
And it just said, did OJ die? And I was like, what? And he's like, look at his Twitter.
I unfortunately am blocked by OJ Simpson on Twitter. So I could not access that. We got to get you unblocked. But I get, yeah. You know what? Now that he's dead,
I'd like his corpse to unblock me. But I guess he broke, his Twitter broke the news, right?
Yeah. Yeah, his Twitter broke the news and Jeff D. Lowe is our resident black and white
picture like, you know, in memoriam guy. Yeah. Did he have one ready to go? I think he had
one ready to go for, I think he has one ready to go for all of us,
which is pretty crazy.
Yeah. Somewhere in those files.
Say what you will about OJ,
but he was a way, way better football player than person.
Yes, yes.
Not even close.
Absolutely.
I'd say Hernandez, OJ Simpson,
two guys you can definitively say that about.
Way better at football.
So much better at football.
Like so, so much better.
He had 2,000 yards in 14 games. Yeah. But you know what I realized after OJ died? The Bills haven't
made the Super Bowl since he committed double murder. That was the year. 1994, the Bills
play in the Super Bowl. 1994. You have the Super Bowls lined up right? Yeah. Like which
year? I believe it was in the year 1994. I like this. OJ killed his wife and Ron Goldman in 1994.
Bills have not been back to the Super Bowl.
This might be good things for the Bills.
Unless.
This would be a good thing for the Bills.
Do you think there's any chance the Bills have a helmet
sticker that says OJ on it for next year?
I would say no.
Probably not.
I would say no.
That feels like that's not going to happen.
Probably not.
I wonder if cancer will get acquitted of murder in this case.
Yeah.
All right. Yeah, so yeah, 19. Yeah, my birthday 1994 was the Bills last Super Bowl. Mm-hmm. And then the murder was
1994. Sometime in 94. Yeah, summer 94. Yeah. Wow.
Okay, so
See ya, OJ. See ya. Peace, man.
Moment of silence for OJ, not roasted him.
Yeah. And then, yeah, this was a Twitter was having a way with it. Yeah.
June 12th, 1994. Okay. So yeah.
I think, I think the word, I think the word, uh,
they haven't played a football season. Like it was the, they hadn't even played the
next football. That's what I'm saying. It was right after that last time. Yeah.
Uh, the word complicated was trending on Twitter
for a little bit today,
because everyone was struggling to figure out a word,
to frame, because you don't want to make fun of the dead,
or you don't want to insult the dead, excuse me,
if you're a reputable news source.
So all these places were saying,
O.J. Simpson, a complicated man with a complicated legacy.
Yeah.
Just say what we said. way better football player than person
He's so good at football which always we've said it before but it is very funny
Whatever someone says any of that with the other way around. Yeah, like the JJ watt is a better person than he's a football player
No, no, no, he's he's one of the best football players of all time. So good at football
Brother is almost a better football player than he is a person.
He puts two more seasons together.
No, the perfect one.
Will Compton is a better person than he was a football player.
Oh, 100%.
Yeah.
It's easy.
Yeah.
That's easy.
All right.
Other things we got.
We got a lot.
Masters.
Bryson DeShallebo is back.
One more thing with OJ.
Yeah?
People are asking me about it, so I'll address it right here. I got into a little tiff with Jose Kinseko online. Yes, I saw that. And
it was because when OJ died I said RIP to OJ Simpson, heaven just got a great running
back. Jose Kinseko was like, wait a second, OJ's not in heaven. Yeah, did you mean hell?
Good one, Jose. Using that brain of yours. Can't get anything by him. No smart guy So he called me out on it, and I just roasted him. I I made fun of Jose Kinseko and
Then he came back at me put up a picture of me looking awesome in Jinko jeans
He thought he was the other picture was awesome, too
Yeah, the other picture was great had a full head of hair
It was young and spry richie incognito on my shoulder
And then I told him to shut the fuck up bitch
And then he said that he would kick my ass
I reminded him that Billy football beat the fuck out of him facts about 20 seconds
Excuse me congressman. Yeah Billy football beat the fuck out of him about 20 seconds
He wants to get in the ring with with me and I'll just I'll I'll give you some facts real quick about who's I can say
Go. Yeah, he's not allowed to fight
No by decree of the state of West Virginia.
And also by the decree of Barstool Sports.
His fat ass is looking for a payday because he's out of cash right now.
He literally is like, he looked at his calendar and was like, oh shit, I'm going to just try
to beef with someone at Barstool again and get some money.
His fat old ass is protected by the same laws that govern your ability to not hunt out of
season or to like beat up a puppy.
Yeah, that's in the eyes of the state of West Virginia. His health is so bad that he is
a protected class of citizen. Yeah, you can't touch and is not allowed to fight elder abuse.
He got cut off in West Virginia from fighting. Yeah, that's very, very hard to do. Very hard.
It's like getting cut off at the bar in Dublin. Yeah. So, you know, as far as OJ goes, excuse
me, as far as Jose goes, so Frank, the tank get involved in a in Dublin. Yeah. So, you know, as far as OJ goes, excuse me, as far as Jose goes, I saw Frank
the Tank get involved in a little bit. Yeah, well, there
are enemies. I think Frank the Tank will be my champion in this
fight if it does go to that level. I'll have Frank kick his
ass. Yeah, anyone could. And also we can't because we're
never going to pay him another dollar. Not another dime. Not
another dime back. All right, Masters Masters Bryson DeChambeau is back
Leads the Masters after one round minus seven although we haven't played the whole first round
Max Holman could still lead the Masters max max shot for under in the front nine and he got screwed by the wind
He got screwed by the wind and the Sun. Yeah today all the elements coming after max and
He's he's in shape. He's in good shape. He's
never shot for under I think in his in around and August on the front nine. So this is he's
off to the best start of his career. He is and it's we'll get into it more with with
Whitney and Kirk. But I think we're I'm at the point now where like I like seeing Bryson
back in the mix because we you know, Brooks squash the beef so as we have to respectfully
squash the beef as well. Bryson also feels like he, you know, Brooke squashed the beef so as we have to respectfully squash the beef as well.
Bryson also feels like he's, you know, maybe changed a little bit, loosened up a little
bit.
He did have a funny quote though, talking about like everyone who's been in his corner.
He said, it's been really awesome to see how I can affect a lot of people's lives, junior
golfers lives, middle aged men, even if they're coming out shouting,
thanks for the content, appreciate what you do online.
There's no way someone shouted, appreciate what you do online.
I think he's got a pretty active YouTube channel.
I watch his videos.
Appreciate what you do online?
Thanks for the content I get.
You think someone yelled, appreciate what you do online?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm going to start saying that to you guys now, as they should what you do online. Yeah. Okay.
I'm gonna start saying that to you guys now, as they should.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I feel like that's a lot of words that you wouldn't really shout.
You should be like, yo, thanks.
Big fan.
So as good of a golfer as Bryson is, as much as he's accomplished on the course, hearing
thanks for the content, appreciate what you do online, has to hit a little bit different
than all that.
Then like, hey, I love your game. No, thanks for the content. You're like, yeah, this guy
gets me. So I put Bryson in that camp of he makes people mad.
And he's interesting.
You have an opinion about him. So it's going to make the game more interesting.
Yeah, he is interesting.
I don't want him to win, but it would be interesting if he stuck around.
I want him in the mix. We also had Scottie Sheffler, who is always in the mix, looking incredible as always. He's minus six, second place. The
steal, the person who stole the show today was Jason Day's pants. Jason Day's parachute
pants, they look like they came right out of Max's closet.
You guys don't know fashion. Jason Day knows fashion. That's a fact.
I like this from him, by the way, because everyone's going one way.
Everyone's getting the tight pants, the inseam, all that shit.
He's going the opposite way.
Throwback.
He looks like he's about to be drafted in a 2003 NBA draft.
I like...
Did you see Tiger's pants from like 1997?
Yeah.
They were like that too.
Yeah.
When he was at the peak of his power. We're not, we're not.
Baggy pants are what is in right now with the young kids.
Hank? Right, the company that he signed with Malibu Golf has sick gear. But wait, isn't Jason Day like our age?
He's cool though. 36.
He is cool. But he just signed the payroll deal with this company who's like the nice hot gear company. Okay, so we got to get baggy pants
Already got some. Yeah, I already got it. Got a couple pair shit
All right. I never pants it up never really got into skinny jeans that much. Well
Yeah, why would uh, yeah, like I think every
I'll speak for myself
I've attempted and they never made it out of my house.
I remember, I think I've done it twice
where I've bought like black, skinny-ish jeans,
put them on and then immediately threw them out.
Didn't even make them out of my bedroom
because I was like, what are you doing, dude?
You ever have those moments where you're like,
I'm gonna do something I haven't done my entire life
with fashion, and then you almost immediately like,
yeah, that's why I haven't done it.
Doesn't work for me.
Does not work for me, will not work.
Can't win with it.
Yeah.
Can't do it.
I think that certain fads out there, certain trends
are just set up as a joke by the industry to be like,
we'll see what these suckers will pay for
and start wearing.
I think the entire skinny jeans movement was like that.
You can't look, in my opinion,
you can't look tough wearing skinny jeans.
Like watching King Von videos,
and he's wearing skinny jeans,
I'm like, I could take that guy.
Yeah, you gotta have middle of the road jeans.
The other one I do is the,
remember the fad with the really thin fabric shirts,
like t-shirts?
That one didn't work either.
What was that, Hank? I wasn't expecting a King von reference he wore skinny jeans he wore skinny jeans
Hank you know I just didn't know you were familiar with oh we know kit with
the war yeah with the lore you think I don't know about Oh block we you don't
think we know about that shit let me tell you true story real quick hang
that's good yeah all right so yeah and then tiger looked okay although now he's
got to play 25 holes?
He looked pretty-
23 holes?
He looked pretty good, but like a lot of the golfers that teed off later in the day, they
got fucked over by the weather because when they started, they started a little bit late,
right?
Yeah.
So the first guys that went out there, they got the nice soft greens, the real-
And it wasn't as windy.
It wasn't as windy.
Then the wind comes in, drives it out a little bit.
I don't think that we're going to see sixes minus sevens tomorrow. Yeah, I think so we need and Brooks was Brooks is fine
Brooks is fine. He's good. He's even through like 10
He's gonna be fine John Rom didn't look great today, but Scotty Shuffler does just look like it's it's a destiny
Yeah, it looks like he is locked in on all accounts
We just want I just want a really good ending and also everyone who bet on Xander Shafly
Which was literally everyone in America not the best start. He was the guy who everyone I
Probably got that tip a hundred times Xander Shafly
I think he went from like 20 to 1 to like 14 to 1 you think Brooks was pissed off that everything got delayed so
Much today. Yes, like the weather was one big...
For sure.
One big Patrick Cantlay for him.
For sure.
It was definitely, he wanted to get right to it.
All right, before we do the other two topics that we have.
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friendly hotels and go to your happy price with Priceline. Okay. Other big story. We have a shocking, not shocking, but shockingly quick, seemingly
resolution to the Shohei Otani story. The forensic accountants, I always trusted in those guys.
They fucking did it. They did their work.
I don't think they have the whole story yet.
So you still think Shohei was betting?
I don't know what was going on. He might not have been betting, but I think there's some
other wrinkles that might come out of this.
Okay, so the story comes out that Ipe is now going to be prosecuted. It's also part of
a prosecution of the gambling ring. So that's how this all kind of came to light.
Shohei sat down for a couple interviews with the IRS
and maybe the FBI, handed over his cell phone,
went through his cell phone, didn't find any text messages
with eBay about betting.
More stories come out that eBay essentially,
when Shohei moved to America, eBay
helped him open up his bank account, basically
kept him isolated from his agent, from his financial advisor, because the IRS and everyone
interviewed those people as well, and they're like, yeah, we never had access to a lot of
this stuff because Ipe said that Shohei wanted to be a private person.
So he essentially isolated Shohei, what the he's saying. He isolated him to a point where he could take advantage
of him, changed his phone settings so he didn't get alerts when the bank, when there was transactions
done. And then there's also the text messages that we get from Ipe and the bookie. I don't
know. I happen to think that this guy's a scumbag and Shohei didn't do anything
wrong, but you can be skeptical. I understand the skepticism.
I'm definitely still skeptical. Nothing, like there's nothing that's been proven against
Shohei right now, but if his translator was just in charge of all of his shit, then they
could do it without Shohei ever talking to this guy using electronic communication.
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Like Shohei, just because there's no text there and all the stuff was coming from his
translator's phone doesn't necessarily mean that Shohei...
Now, again, there's no evidence against Shohei right now.
So it came out that he lost $40 million.
He was making on average 25 bets a day. If that was
Shohei, there had to have been a text message about it.
There could have been, but-
Like there's no way that all those things happen without at least one text message talking
about gambling.
But go back to the first thing you said, he lost $40 million. The translator lost $40
million. The translator, I think he won $142 million and he lost $182 million.
Yeah. He had a gambling problem.
Again, I go back to how is a translator able to bet, win, and lose that much money?
Because he's got a bookie. Because he has a bookie, but his bookie is
not extending credit to just a nobody. Right, I know. I understand that part. I mean, the text messages were in there of Ipe and the bookie.
I want to say one thing real quick. 25 bets a day is not that crazy.
I want to say that. A lot of people were shaming that.
Listen, during this college football Saturday, it's not that crazy. Gamble responsibly.
Also, I read those text messages from Ipe to the bookie.
Let's just say I've seen those text messages before.
Yeah.
So there was one in particular.
I'll just leave it at that.
I've seen those text messages where you just keep saying, I need a bump.
I'm so bad at this.
There was one.
Gamble responsibly.
It's legalized now.
There was one in particular where the report comes out on ESPN on March 20th and then Ipe
texted the bookie and said, have you seen the reports?
The bookie said, yes, but that's all bullshit.
Obviously you didn't steal from him.
I understand it's a cover job.
I totally get it.
Why does he think this is a cover job?
What do you mean?
No, but then the next text was Ipe saying, you know, technically I stole
from him. Yes, the next text was technically I did steal from him. It's all over for me.
But the fact that the bookie was replying to Ipe with, I understand it's a cover job,
I totally get it. What in that report did he see as being the cover job that he totally
got? That he's-
Do you think Ipe was telling the bookmaker the entire time like Otani is
bankrolling me? Probably. He probably did. And he because because then there's the text
of the from the bookie to eBay saying I don't know why you're not returning my calls. I'm
here in Newport Beach and I see Otani walking his dog. I'm just gonna go up and talk to
him and ask him how I can get in touch with you. Since you're not responding, please call me back immediately. Yeah. So
he knows that this guy is linked to Shohei. And he probably is like, I'm he's going to
be good for it because I can just be like, your show his interpreter. I just the only
you're like, there are people with gambling addictions and that like, it was kind of sad
reading some of that. And I understand he got in way too deep. I just don't know the the truth which I think people don't want to believe because
it sucks for Shohei is that Shohei is probably not the smartest and is too trusting.
He's definitely too trusting if this is the case. Yeah.
So how would they why would the FBI and the IRS like how would they be covering this up
now if this is Shohei?
Oh, I know.
Interview Shohei and get his phone.
I don't think that the FBI and the IRS are covering it up.
I think that it's more likely that there's a cover-up between Shohei and his translator
Ipe.
Right.
And the two of them know the truth.
I just don't believe, I just don't know how the phone.
Wait, wait, the two of them know the truth.
Nobody else does.
This entire time it was Ipe's phone that had access to all of show his accounts
And it was completely separated and they never texted back and forth about bets
But and that way that part oh, hey was able that mate part
I was able to do it no sense to me because there's just no way if you're betting 20 if show
Hey is betting 25 times a day. Mm-hmm
There's just no way that he never texted him saying hey hey, put this in for me. Unless they were smart about it.
There's just no way because there's like Shohei would be sitting in his hotel being like,
I want late action on this soccer game that's about to start. If he's betting that volume,
he had like, because that's a volume that you can't stop. You can't be like, oh,
I want to put a bet in, but I can't talk to him directly, so I, like, but I know I shouldn't text.
But as a translator, they're together all the time.
Yeah, but I'm saying, like, late night,
they're sitting in a hotel or Shohei's, you know,
somewhere that he's not at that moment.
25 bets a day, that means you're betting everything.
Yeah.
That's the only part that, like...
Yeah, I know.
There would be no chance
if you were betting 25 bets a day
that it was never put in text.
There's a 0% chance that the FBI is covering up for Shohei Ohtani. There'd be no chance if you were betting 25 bets a day that it was never put in text.
There's a 0% chance that the FBI is covering up
for Shohei Otani.
Right.
That's clear, because if you're the FBI,
if you're the Department of Justice,
you want nothing more than to catch Shohei Otani
in a gambling ring.
That's a career-making case right there.
I also don't know how you could do 25 bets a day
and still be good at baseball.
That's a lot of work.
It's a ton of work of work. But again like dude
They hit this guy gambled three hundred twenty million dollars
That's for a guy that makes that's total total but for a guy that makes two hundred thousand a year at the most
Yeah, I know
But if he's if he's making payments then nothing matters to a bookie like that's the thing is if he made the payments
They're not to ask questions.
And so what was Shohei's salary between this,
like, four-year span, two-year span?
It was still pretty large.
I just think the, like, I understand the skepticism.
I'm not going to 100% be like, yeah,
Shohei had no part in any of this.
I just think that the reality might just
be that Shohei is not the brightest
and was way too trusting to a guy
that he thought was family.
And it's the perfect crime in the fact that Shohei has no one like you're in a country where
no one speaks your language and the one person you're supposed to trust who tells you everything
is taking advantage. He's in this position where he can be taken advantage of because
no one else he can converse with. Yeah, I think that there's definitely a chance that
Shohei didn't have anything to do with it. That's without a doubt a possibility.
I'm not convinced of it yet.
How much do you make?
What does it say?
40?
I can't read it.
It's too small.
41,954.
Okay.
259.
So I guess maybe Shohei-
He probably had some endorsements too.
Maybe he just doesn't check his bank account.
Yeah, I don't know.
I read that he was for the longest, his mom was controlling his bank account.
So it's like, there's...
It definitely felt like Shohei...
It'd be funny if his mom had a gambling problem, too.
It was his mom?
Yeah. It was his mom the whole time.
Ipe's falling on the sword for his mom.
Yeah. What do you think, Hank?
I think he was gambling.
You do? You think Shohei was gambling?
Yeah.
I think a lot of people are accusing that.
I think they just want the chaos.
But I think that's crazy to accuse unless,
like they did a full investigation.
He's clear, right?
Yeah, I mean, I don't always believe in,
like, it's not, I'm not saying 100% that he's innocent,
but I'm definitely leaning towards,
because like I saw those text messages
and it sounded like a guy who was in way too deep
and was very desperate to do anything.
Let me put this in your head.
You've been around a lot of gamblers.
Yes. We work amongst this in your head. You've been around a lot of gamblers. Yes.
We work amongst them all the time.
Is there any chance that Otani didn't know that Ipe had
a gambling problem spending all day, every day with him
as Ipe is following his scores, trying
to find a bar that has a game on?
He probably thought he gambled.
I mean, it would be pretty obvious
that your buddy was betting on UCLA soccer all the time.
But you don't know his unit.
Yeah.
He could just be a stressed out guy that he thinks is betting $1,000 on a game.
Right.
Yeah.
He could be playing it off like, yeah, I put $10.
I mean, one of the bets was for $10.
I'm dying to know what that one was.
But yeah.
Probably parlay.
But that's, but if you, that's why I also think that there's no way... I don't understand
how there could not be any text messages. Maybe you could say they're a different phone
that he didn't hand over. Okay, then I believe that. There's no way Shohei was betting 25
times a day and there was never a single text about gambling to his interpreter.
There was another funny part of the documents that came out today where they called Ipe
up, the bank did, because Ipe was trying to get a wire transfer saying he was gonna use it to buy a Porsche
yeah, and I think he was asking for a couple hundred thousand dollars and they called him and
For whatever reason it got flagged. It was like no don't authorize this transfer
Otani had a massive endorsement deal with Porsche at the time. He was trying to he was saying he was using it to buy a car
Yeah, there was another one that they found that he was faking to be Otani on the phone. He was saying he was using it to buy a car. Yeah, and there was another one that they found
that he was faking to be Otani on the phone.
That was one of the same ones.
Yeah, so like, I don't know.
Maybe I'm just too trusting in forensic accounting,
but shout out to forensic accountants.
They did at least get some good work.
They did their job.
Yeah, they did their job.
And it sucks to be like,
because the reality is like if Sho hey was completely innocent it at worse
Is like the most embarrassing thing to have that happen to you and everyone be like, dude
What how did that happen? Also it was a really bad gambler really bad game. It sounds like he wrote though
We don't yeah, we don't we don't yeah, Dan Heron did say that he was falling my mortar locks
It would be funny if it comes out like they do a forensic accounting of his laptop
And he was just watching bar soul sports survivors every week being like, these
guys know ball. Like these guys, these guys are sharp.
I want to know the, I want to know the worst, the worst beat that Ipe had. I saw he had
that, that USC. Was it USC?
UCLA. Yeah. I think they were 11 point favorites over Fresno State and lost outright.
And that was the one that sent him over the edge,. Yeah. Yeah, and that's a late-night game
Yeah, that's yep. Yeah, so we'll see I mean I is it so like what's the next step?
He's gonna go to he's gonna go to try he's getting prosecutors. He's getting prosecuted
Yeah, so he can face I think he's facing up to 30 years in prison
Also, the fact that he pay they looked into his his past and he's been lying for a long time
does make it seem like it's more realistic
that he's just a big fraudster, you know,
and just scamming everyone.
All right, last thing.
Kentucky has a new head coach.
Congrats.
And it is not Dan Early.
And it is not Billy Donovan.
It's definitely Rick Pitino. It's not Rick Pitino. It's definitely Rick Patino.
It's not Rick Patino.
It's not Nate Oates.
Not Scott Drew.
Scott Drew.
Not Scott Drew.
He trusts in God.
God told him to stay at Baylor.
So yeah, the exact quote, I actually, I save this.
He said, we truly believe God has called my family and I to continue our work here
at Baylor. I just want to remind people of the last guy that said God is commanding them to live in
Waco, Texas.
Yeah.
And how that turned out.
Yeah, not great.
So they got Mark Pope, BYU coach, national champion at Kentucky, throwing it back captain
of the 1996 Rick Pitino led Kentucky Wildcats. You got
Mark Pope.
Got Mark Pope and Big Blue Nation is not happy.
I mean, Mark Pope is a good coach and he does have Kentucky ties, but Big Blue Nation is
not happy.
So if you go back to when we interviewed Matt Jones a couple of weeks ago, he was talking
about all the qualities they were looking for in a head coach. He wanted a splash. He wanted a guy that was,
you know, flashy. That was a big personality. Big Kentucky. Big job. They need a big coach.
Mark Pope seems like he is underwhelming on every account possible for Kentucky Wildcat
fans.
But you can look at pictures of him with Rick Pitino, the 1996 Kentucky Wildcats.
Yep. Sometimes you got to go back to move forward. Mark Pope.
It's true. And Cal looked so weird in red.
He looked very strange in red. He said that he met with a team.
Met with a team. The whole team.
Yep. How many guys were there?
There is no team. Okay, no team.
That I actually felt bad for Cal there because he was, he was trying to do a punchline and
no one bit.
Didn't get it.
He's like, I met with the team.
There is no team and no one fucking bit with it.
Yeah.
Now I, I would venture to say that a lot of Kentucky wildcat players will be committing
to Arkansas.
Maybe a couple of them.
Yeah.
At least a few.
I don't see Mark Pope bringing in five star recruits left and right.
Yeah.
Cal also had this. He said, we got to get a roster together and some of it is a
little bit of everything. Mm hmm. Yeah, that's that's that's a quote. He said Kentucky is
the bluest of blue. There's only a few schools like that. And I hate to tell you Arkansas
is one of them. Yep. Okay. Okay. He also said, I didn't want anything out until after the National Championship game that
we were even talking because I didn't think that was fair.
It literally all came out before the National Championship game.
Yeah, it was the night before I think.
Yeah.
So yeah, he says that Arkansas has a blue blood?
Yes, they are one of them.
You know what?
Cal might be a blue blood.
He could be.
I think anywhere he goes, he just brings the blood with him.
The more that comes out of the Cal exit is very funny because Cal, it seems like he was
doing like he was taking one last shot at a power play that almost worked.
So there's like, I read a couple stories also Trilly Donovan, who's a inside basketball
guy who I think he has a, maybe it's a telegram where he sends he's right about a lot of stuff and he basically was spelling it out before
any of it came out in public. He was like Cal's making a power play with the DePaul
the former DePaul AD his good friend to get an offer from Arkansas then come back to Kentucky and be like, match it or give me a new deal and have
the fans revolt and get Barnhart out.
Oh, okay.
So it's like-
And then he'd get his friend in as the AD.
He got caught in like a game of chicken.
Right.
Right.
It's like when George lied to Susan's parents about the house at the Hamptons.
Right.
He ends up driving all the way out there.
Now he's down in Arkansas.
I respect the move because it was clear that he and Barnhart were not good friends. So
he was trying a last ditch effort to be like, let's get him out so I can stay. And then
as soon as it was clear he wasn't going to get out, he's like, all right, I'll go to
Arkansas. Well, now people want Barnhart out now for hiring Pope.
Pope. Yeah, he should just wait.
So maybe Cal to Kentucky.
Yes. I do think Cal's going to win it at Arkansas.
He's going to be a good coach in Arkansas. It's a good basketball
school. I also think at the same time, Kentucky, they will be
fine long term. Yeah. And we don't know shit about ball. This
guy might end up being a great coach, a great fit at Kentucky.
We don't know. But it's not it's not like the splash higher that
they wanted. Here's the thing. It's it's kind of it's it's it's
not going to be immediate. Like if you got Danny Hurley it'd probably
be immediate. If you got Nate Oates it'd probably be immediate. Even Scott Drew. So it might
be a little bit more of a build. But one of the complaints that Kentucky fans have had
for the last four or five years is like we get the recruits but we don't have coaching.
Mark Pope can coach. So you get the coaching now. Can he crew? Can he crew? We don't know
that. So Cal can crew. He can crew. He can crew. We don't know that. So a pal can crute.
He can crute.
He can crute.
He's a cruder.
They said that Danny Hurley turned down $20 million.
Shout out Danny.
That's what people in Kentucky are saying.
I don't know if that's the right number.
That would make him, I think Bill Self is the highest paid coach.
Yeah.
And he makes $9 million.
Yeah.
$9.5 I think.
So this would more than double.
Yeah.
I don't know if that number's right, but if it's above 15, that's still a crazy amount of money for him to turn down you can't should be very happy
What did you max you had you had the inside source? What was it? It was 15 plus incentives to get 20
Well, that's what Jeff that's what Jeff was saying. Okay 15 plus incentives for like I think eight years
It was over a hundred mil total. Yeah the number. I asked Jeff about that too.
I said, where are you getting this from?
He's just like, the guys are saying.
Yeah, but Yukon's gonna give him a huge deal.
Yes, yeah, he's gonna get a massive pay raise.
A massive, massive pay raise.
And I actually, as much as the money would obviously
be nice if you're Danny Hurley, I do believe that like,
there's something about if you go to Kentucky, and
you don't win, if you don't go to a final four in five years, you're out.
Yeah.
He can coach at UConn for the next 10 years and not go to a final four and still be okay.
That's what Cal did.
Cal literally went to his last final four was 2015, and the last whatever, nine years,
have not been great, especially the last four, and he kept his job. because he had won before and he had that like leeway with the fan base.
Yeah. In Arkansas, they'll get to a final four at some point. I do too. I think they'll
be in a final four within like four years. He might actually be a better coach now than
he was at Kentucky. Well, scenery might be nice. I think it's, I think he's got, it's
gotta be a little bit of ego, Bruce. Yeah.
People that the fan base kind of turned on you so much.
So, he's gonna maybe feel like he's gotta prove it again
and get, and climb back up the mountain.
Because that was Cal for the long, you know,
Cal at the start of his Kentucky couldn't have gone better.
I think he went to four out of five final fours,
won a national title, could not have gone better.
And then it faded because he had been on top of the mountains. So
maybe now he's got to climb back up.
I want to see john daily get involved with Arkansas
basketball again seem like the sister gene of Arkansas. Oh,
well, just wheel them out there.
I think the sister genes already already decided. Tyson chicken
guy, you got standing ovation. Oh, they love that. It was
incredible. I that is like, if you want, if you want a sign of like the change in college basketball and NIL and all that stuff is
entire
Arena giving the Tyson chicken guy a standing ovation now
I want I want John Daly in a wheelchair with an IV drip of vodka into his arm
Yeah, just being wheeled out to the balcony in the upper row for the final four
He's given like thumbs ups pregame speeches to everybody drunk off his ass
I want to see I want to see Arkansas get real weird with it.
Yeah. What are you going to say, Max?
I'm just thinking about like this from a Kentucky fan's perspective. If you're willing to give,
what if the recruiting status like play is to, I don't know if Mark Pope is a good recruiter,
but we're just going to five X every single NIL coming in.
True.
Because if they're willing to give Danny Hurley 20 million a year and they just brought in
Pope for what?
Probably four?
Four?
Yeah.
You had $16 million to work with there.
So what if you're like, I'm just going to give multi-million dollar deals to every single
person that I want.
I don't think you're wrong about that. But I do think that they're probably not going to have,
they're not going to look at the remaining $16 million as being like, well, we've got to
spend this anyways, because probably some of the guys in the deep pockets don't have enough faith
in Mark Pope to be like, we trust giving him this guy.
But if you think he's a good coach, then it would make even more sense that you're like,
all right, if your worry is recruiting, we'll take care of the recruiting.
All you have to take care of is coaching basketball.
Because recruiting is different now.
It's so much easier to recruit if you have a shit ton of money.
Yeah.
I hope he works out.
I think it'd be a great story if a guy comes home and he's able to work out.
I think that's like a spin zone for Kentucky fans that like if this is the thing that you're worried about
This is a different world of going and getting guys
so the personality of the coach may not matter as much as the the pocketbooks of the guys were
Making the deal and I think the the problem is Kentucky fans and I understand it
They're like Mark Pope has not done anything
Because he hasn't
like he's, he, I don't even know if he's won a tournament game. No, he hasn't. He's not
won a tournament, two tournaments, three CBIs and one in IT. So the one thing you could
say though, and I do believe this is that Mark Pope, you know, BYU going to the big
12, like you see all the time teams step up in class and they immediately fall down.
Like they have a terrible year. BYU had a good year. They were fifth in the big 12.
60 and lost to Duquesne.
Yeah, they competed hard all year. So it's like, that's,
I think what you have to sell yourself on and the whole,
just look at a bunch of pictures of the 96 Wildcats. I think that's really what it is.
So now there's, you got to just keep looking at 96 Wildcats pictures.
Now there's an opening at BYU. Yeah. Rick Pitino be a good fit. Reportedly no
contact with Pitino and they did not aggressively pursue Billy D. Yeah. Billy
D said he wasn't going to go because I think he just realized like I don't
Jerry Reinsdorf will never fire me and I don't have to go recruit. Yeah. The
recruiting thing is big. I would like a professional job to a college job. One
is so much easier. Right. but did they go after Bruce Pearl?
They talked to him that one. I didn't see I think I think that one said they did not interview pearl beard and Miller
They did talk to at least two other people besides Pope. He thinks one was shocker. He doesn't know who the other was
I don't think they like Kentucky is a blue blood and I think they I think they would not go after Bruce Pearl because of
like things in his past But the thing in his past is a cookout. I know they I think they would not go out to Bruce Pearl because of like things in his past. But the thing in his past is a
cookout. I know. It's a barbecue. I agree and also being a snitch. Being a snitch? Yeah.
But I know his positions on the Middle East. He loves Big Blue Nation. Yeah. I
just I they have a weird thing about it where they would I think they would be
like oh we're Bruce Pearl like we can't touch that. He's a great coach coach too. Maybe I just can't believe they didn't. They didn't offer 100
million to Nate Oates. That's the crazy part to me because I don't know if he would turn
that down. Yeah. Um, there was also a tweet that Scott drew put out yesterday where he
was in a cafeteria in a cafe in Waco with like one of the biggest boosters at Baylor.
But then there was a report that Scott Drew's family
flew to Lexington yesterday.
In the afternoon, Scott Drew didn't go
according to this report, but his family did,
like his wife and kids went out there.
So maybe his wife and kids went to Lexington,
they were like, no, not for us.
No thanks.
Yeah, that might've been it.
What?
Lexington's nicer than Waco.
Lexington's incredible. I love Lexington's nicer than Waco.
Lexington's incredible.
I love Lexington.
Lexington is a good place.
Go to Keeneland, October and April.
Waco is fun if you like three strip malls and a biker shootout.
And God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like the Chip Gaines, the, what is he, like a house flipper guy?
Yeah.
He got involved.
Oh yeah, no, Waco is chip and Joanna Gaines
Probably some of our G3s family still lives in the area and then you have like two Ruby Tuesdays, I think okay and
One Twin Peaks. I'm getting there one. I think no, you don't have a tilted kill
You might have a Hooters and a Twin Peaks. Okay, that works. Yeah, so you can change it up
Yeah, you can switch it up every now again. The Twin Peaks has like 5, bullet holes switch back and forth. Yeah. Yeah. All right anything else before we get to
Kirkman hand and Ryan Whitney talking more masters
Hank get excited everyone. The fire fest is a great one. You don't want to miss it. It's a great fire fest
Set your alarm for the fire fest. Yeah, don't sleep in for the Fyre Fest.
Right?
Right.
Yeah.
All right, let's kick it to ourselves, then we'll do an interview and then do not miss
the Fyre Fest.
Okay, before we get to Ryan Whitney and Kirk Minahan talking masters, our friends at Uber
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availability varies. Buy Region. See app for details. Okay, here they are, Kirk Minahan
and Ryan Whitney.
Okay, we now welcome on two of our very good friends.
It is Kirk Minahan from the Kirk Minahan Show and the Unnamed Show and Ryan Whitney from
Spitting Chicklets and also the Unnamed Show.
I want to talk some masters both Kirk is a historian of Augusta.
Whitney is just junkie.
You golf more than you work.
No I don't anymore.
That is that is a fake.
What is the word?
Narrative narrative That narrative is...
That's actually the right word.
That narrative was true for a long time and it's not.
So you don't golf a lot anymore?
No, but it's actually not because of work.
Oh, because kids.
Kids and coaching and another kid coming. So yeah, like I used to play a ton of golf and I don't anymore and I don't even really want to talk about it.
So you're very good at putt-putt.
Yeah, congratulations by the way.
I'm not taking a congratulations.
Congratulations on your winning.
I'm not taking anything.
I'm not taking a congratulations.
That is a great one.
I know what you guys are doing.
Congratulations.
I find it odd that as long as we've been friends, all three of us really, that you guys aren't
rooting for me.
I told you I'm rooting for you.
I'm rooting for you.
I don't believe you.
I'm rooting for you.
I congratulated you yesterday at 5pm.
Who else would I be rooting for? I was the first person. I don't know but you're saying really I congratulated you yesterday at 5 p.m. I was the first person
I don't know but you're saying congratulations for the end of a tournament
That's blatantly trying to walk trying to mush it trying to ruin it
You think I'm trying to have even Che over you no, but there's a million others
Who do you think I would rather see win than my good friend Ryan Whitney Frank the tank? Yeah, that's true
Yeah, he's right. It's fair. It's fair in the hunt. It's fair, it's fair. He's ahead of me, actually, I think.
All right, so Masters.
Well, first, I have a question for you, Kirk.
We had this problem you would've been
very embarrassed for us.
They had the green jacket dinner.
We were looking at the guys.
Champions' dinner.
Champions' dinner, sorry.
It's okay, that's fine.
If I say the name Wilford Brimley, one of Masters,
who would I be talking about?
I'd say Craig Stadler.
Yeah, that was it.
All right, so I knew you'd nail. So I knew you'd nail it.
I knew you'd nail it.
We literally stared at him for like 10 minutes,
had to Google him, everything.
He was in a bunch of movies, right?
Who is that?
Yeah, we're like, who the hell is that?
Wilford Brimley or Craig Stadler?
No, I know who Wilford Brimley is.
I didn't know who Craig Stadler is.
Craig Stadler I think was in,
one of the guys in Tin Cup, I think.
He was.
He was the guy who gave him the club to give it a try
when McAvoy then fired him.
Where do we feel about that movie though?
Tinkup, I love it.
I love it too, but I've heard a lot of people say
it's like the worst sports movie ever.
Like, you either love it or you hate it.
I love it.
If you look at the course, it's awful.
Yeah.
It's fine, it's okay.
But for just like a driving range, hustler, pro,
and then when the guy hits it down the road
to get all his money.
Don Johnson.
Don Johnson, that's right.
Classic, like, he seems still going.
Yep.
Kirk, if you could rank your top three masters of all time.
92, Fred Couples wins.
That's your guy.
I love that.
98 was a great masters.
Freddie lost to Amir,
but that's where Nicholas finished sixth at 58.
Ooh.
Tiger was in the,
Tiger and Nicholas were on the leaderboard at the same time.
That's the beauty of the Masters, time stands still.
Yep.
Third, I mean, Tiger winning, I'm not a huge Tiger fan,
but Tiger winning in 19 was, and I'd say 86 was my first one
I really remember with my dad, Nicholas winning in 86.
Yeah.
And he was old then too, wasn't he?
46.
Yeah, wow.
You love friendly couples.
Yeah, he's a friend of mine.
Love them.
How did you start, I'm always curious about that,
whether it's like a golfer or a NASCAR driver or just like
an individual player in a sport.
How do you like fall in love and you're like, I'm going to root for that guy?
It was weird for me too, because like Larry Bird, I was like six years old.
Fred Couples, I was like 17.
I just watched him on TV.
I thought his swing was great.
It's beautiful.
I like his attitude.
I like the whole thing.
He's cool.
Yeah.
He just can, you know, I was, yeah, he kinda.
Boom boom.
He's my guy, yeah.
It's kind of, it's hard to define.
Do you like that he does like the green ball?
Yellow ball.
I play with that now.
You do?
Yeah.
Is he playing this year?
He's playing right now, yeah.
Yeah.
He's like wounded too, he's walking around.
He's back, he's 64.
When your favorite player is 64,
and everyone there is like watching the leaderboard,
and I'm on the phone watching Fred Couples at 64.
It's two different things.
Is he still wearing those big khakis all the time, like the Tracy McGrady suit?
No, he's like, uh, yeah.
He's not wearing the Echos anymore though.
Yeah, the skater shoes.
Yeah.
He is cool.
So how long do you think he's going to play for?
Because if I were a Masters champion, I'd play until they-
A hundred.
Made me-
They can't kick you out. Yeah, right. But they do tell you to stop playing.
They send you a letter.
Really?
Yeah.
The first hole there has a hill.
How much do they get us to clear that hill?
To get to the top?
Probably three hundred.
No.
Ninety.
Yeah.
It's like four sixty, I think.
Some of these guys now...
Like once they can't even get to the beginning of the hill,
they write you a letter like, yeah.
I didn't know they wrote a letter.
As far as like, Arnold got the letter one year.
Really?
And what does the letter say?
You're done.
It's like, in their way, like, hey, you're a great champion.
You've meant so much to the community.
It's like when your boy used to knock on the door
of the Hall of Fame guy.
Yeah, yeah.
He'd be like, thank you so much for what you've done
to the game.
Yeah.
And then like, you can't play here anymore.
The best story about that is Billy Casper one.
And then he kept playing and playing and playing,
and then one year he shot 105,
and 105 he didn't post the score.
He just never turned in his card, and that was it.
That's great.
105.
The problem with that is, I will say,
if you're a competitive tour player
and you get paired with Billy Casper,
and the guy should, it's like when I was playing with Frank,
it's like I was playing with Frank the other day.
Obviously it took me a while to react to it like about a day but it does
break you yeah yeah that makes sense I think some of the guys to want to make
sure they don't get the letter like I got to go before I get yeah right cuz
that has to be a blow to your most guys most you don't really see that anymore
no so do you know they all smash it now that's true continue like now the
distance everyone hits it so even though that true. Now the distance, everyone hits it. So even the old guys, they smash the ball.
So do you think Freddie Couples will get the letter?
No, I think he's too smart.
Next year, it'll be his 40th Masters.
He'll be 65.
I think that's gonna be it.
That's gonna be one of the six or seven worst days of my life.
And he's made the cut a bunch of times.
Made the cut last year.
Oldest guy ever to make the cut.
He was 63 years, five months, and like 14 or 15 days.
Jesus Christ.
Especially because Tiger can't take Kurt.
Tiger can't make the cut.
Tiger's not making the cut this year.
You don't think so?
No.
I bet on him too.
I bet on him.
He might.
I mean, think about what the Masters is though,
if you're doing cuts and miss cut bet.
Like the field's smaller,
and there are a bunch of old guys and a bunch of amateurs.
Right.
It is the easiest cut oddly to make in golf
Yeah, I didn't realize artist tournament easiest cut. Yeah
Tournament, I don't think it's it's open. Yeah. Yeah tough US open. Even the open championship is tougher
I think PGA is tougher now. I think yeah, the field's harder
So this is the I think it's the best tournament, but it's the oddly the easiest cut to make if you're a good pro
So I think Tiger like honestly done in my head, I think Tiger probably 50 50, right?
I think it's 50 50 if he like finishes.
It's when he plays golf, he can't walk.
Weather's good though.
It seems like right now.
So Kirk and I have been lucky enough to go there.
Have you guys been there?
No, no.
So I kind of like the fact that we'll probably never go.
I want to go.
I was saying you could go. Yeah, I kind of like the fact that we'll probably never go. It makes it, I wanna go. I was saying, but you could go.
Yeah, I wanna go.
I was saying to Dave, like, I thought even if you don't
like golf, you just get there, it is insane.
The hills and the undulation.
Yeah.
On TV, you're like, oh, it's like, you get out there,
you're like the 10th hole, it's gotta be 200 yards
downhill.
Like this, and 18's crazy. 18's right next to it,
same way.
So the walk for Tiger, like the guy can't walk on the range I know yeah we asked Max about
that and he was like yeah it's actually it's more daunting than you realize when
you're because I look at that like that's probably even looks way in person
yeah you guys got max home to go on the podcast yeah crazy like the JD
Salinger the problem is I do like him but yeah, I think he has that is that Rory disease that a lot of people a lot people
Have this he wants to be like too much. He's a very nice guy. Yeah, I'm glad he's friends with you guys
But I want him to be more of an asshole because I think assholes win these things
Yeah
So are you speaking of an asshole who we also like and Whitney has actually turned the corner on him
Are you on teams team Brooks now?
Well half well unfortunately have to be.
He was part of, he took my side in the Ryder Cup.
Right.
Oh, he did?
Yeah, yeah.
I was just five.
I was right.
But I didn't know that.
The Ryder Cup.
He took my side.
Not the Ryder Cup.
The Ryter.
Ryter Cup.
The Ryter Cup.
Yes.
Like OJ Simpson was a writer, like if I did it.
Right, exactly.
Yeah, great book.
Yeah, he took my side on that and he did something else.
He had my back on something else too.
I forget what it was.
I was with him on something.
I also think you liked that he was still competing in the Ryder Cup.
Yes.
When the US was very much out and that Max as well.
They both were like, no, we're going out with a fight.
He beat Ludwig.
Yeah, we're not going to let them just walk over us.
He did lose nine to him in the four ball.
But so I don't know, I keep doing this with Bryce
and I was talking to Whitney about it.
Like, I don't know where Tom's going to get fooled
by Brooks playing bad in some live event.
Who cares?
Right.
But he was terrible last week.
I think he was 78, 78 or something.
Yeah, in the second two rounds.
Yeah, which like should matter,
but for him, I don't think it matters.
We'll find out today, but he's playing terrible,
but he's always playing terribly for a major. Right he's got such a crazy resume I think actually
the worst that he plays going to the Masters the better. I think you might be right. Because he's
like just thinking about the Masters that week. Yeah he's probably hitting shots at Doral like
thinking of the 13th of the game. Yeah yeah I'm gonna try I'm gonna try. I pay 200 million to do.
I saw a piece he did with golf.com or something and the guy's like basically on the range with
them and he's like what are you thinking right now?
He's like, nothing.
Nothing.
Yeah, nothing.
And it's like golf's like, it's a fucked up sport.
The more you think, the worse you are.
And the guy just steps up and smashes it and loves being the bad guy.
That's like when I met him, I was like, oh, this could be kind of awkward.
I got to tell him like, I've chirped you five million times.
Right.
And he's like like I love that dude
I love the kind of love being the bad guy like he was just yeah, he doesn't give a shit
Yeah, who do you like who do I like? Yeah? Who are you who you're like favorite?
I like Zell Taurus a lot this Ludwig guy from Sweden's like my new favorite golfer great great great
He's just he's like built in a lab
Perfect swing stallion six three like I think he's gonna end up being a true superstar. Oh, there's right
I like him Fridays right there. So alright as you looking I get a question about this field
Mm-hmm Scotty Scheffler is obviously the favorite by a large large margin
What is it about Scottie Scheffler that has him that much ahead of everyone else stats like pure golf stats T
The green are as good as
Better than anybody since Tiger in his prime. I'm talking I'm talking I think Matt matching him. It's right
I'm talking like 2,000 Tiger Prime right? He's put in if he puts well
He's gonna be in the top two or three he may not win
But you know if he doesn't putt well, he's gonna finish like eighth not to disagree. I think it's if he putts average, right?
That's what I mean for him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah so it's just putter is the only thing that stops yeah and then Rory
which is kind of crazy me this is what Kirk's saying liking an asshole like in
golf I would never give anyone a tip or a pointer right and Rory was on the
broadcast and he's like I think Scotty should go to a mallet putter yeah yeah
and he did and now he's putting good. It's like Rory. I do Michael Jordan saying yeah
It's crazy. No, it's a game of honor and yes, but Michael Jordan would buy Scottie Scheffler a new blade putter, right?
Yeah, this is awesome. Yeah, right. This will fix everything
Yeah, there are weeks for Scheffler is first tee the green first around the greens and like a hundred and eight teeth and putting any exact
So he's that good that even with that bad a putting he's still you know he'll put
bad and finish like horrible and finish eighth right crazy what's up with his
footwork at some point you would think that somebody would beat that out of I
think that I think it's tried to yeah maybe and he and he's probably like and
then I bet you there was a coach it's like hey don't fuck with it like I get
better questions that like why isn't somebody else doing it? Yeah
Yeah, like he does it and like he's you think someone's pop or anybody, but he has a different every stroke. That's true
Yeah, it's not like he was the exact same thing. He finds a new way to fuck his feet up
It's like shooter McGavin like trying to happy Gilmore in the woods
Yeah, I've probably been on the range like trying it. They just don't want to ever have it be on camera
Yeah, what what so Kirk cuz because you obviously are a historian.
I like him a lot.
Sorry.
He's not playing well this year.
Yeah, I like him a lot.
He was awesome at the end of last year.
So you're a historian of the Masters.
How many times do you think a guy has to play it
till they get that advantage of I know this course?
Because even when we're talking about Tiger missing the cut,
or making the cut, you have to think Tiger has a couple strokes just on familiar knows the way around right?
I say when you get to like year 10. Oh, it takes that long
I think the last time winners fuzzy Zeller other than the first year of it like first is the only yes 79
He's the only one he beat Edson even the playoff. I think yeah, he's the easy only one then he had a tough quarter
Yeah, still alive social media today that would we learned that moment
Yeah, he's selling vodka now is he yeah. Oh, yeah, he's doing don't put me in that boat
A lot in common
Yeah, so you think 10th time it's that it's that like there's that many quirks and weird things
Yeah, it's just it's yes. Yeah to become like a established veteran. Yeah
Yeah, what says it's all about where to miss.
And like, you're just like, if you're missing one spot, you're fine.
If you're missing another spot, you're dead.
And not knowing the course, it's just like, oh, I don't know where to miss.
What's the next change they're doing at Augusta?
Because they tiger-proofed it, they made it long.
They're still doing that.
They put up trees.
Do they have any plans to redo different holes?
They pushed two back this year.
They pushed 13 back last year, way back.
And so there's, I mean, they just buy,
so if you've never been there,
so if you drive up to Augusta,
the street behind it is like,
you see Augusta, you think, oh my God,
and behind it there's Applebee's, Chili's, strip clubs.
Sounds awesome.
It's a shit hole.
It's like Route 1 in Saugus,
and then all of a sudden you take it right and you're Augusta.
So they're buying land, like they're trying to buy the,
eventually it's gonna be like just.
The whole area.
Yeah, it'll be the master's exit.
It'll just be all, I think all of that.
Yeah, they said they'll have an exit at some point.
Yeah, they're talking about
underground parking there now.
Oh yeah, I saw that.
Yeah, so I think they're thinking more like,
the course is what, 76, 50?
I mean, I don't know how much more they can do right now.
Yeah, but I said yesterday, the chairman, he does like a yearly.
Fred Ridley.
Yeah. Like, I want your opinion about some of them in the second, but go ahead.
The Tuesday press conference where he just like addresses everything.
And, and he, and he said, yeah, we'll never make it longer than 8,000.
So it's like, oh my God, like, yeah, that's just thinking of that.
That's like the whole distance debate in golf.
Yeah. Yeah. Which is, I mean, I don't really understand it.
I get, like, I,
Equipping the balls now is just crazy.
But what they ended up doing,
I like your opinion, and PFT European,
they ended up, there was discussion of making
the pro game different than us.
Where everything's the same for us,
but the pros hit a different ball that goes shorter.
They ended up doing it where they didn't change,
where it was all the same,
and they're just making everyone hit it shorter in like five years
So it kind of sucks for oh, so everyone's gonna have shorter balls
Yeah, so for distance being an issue with ninety nine point nine percent of golfers
It's like kind of sucks that now we're hitting it shorter. Wait. So is that gonna be a thing where?
Curt's hitting hybrid from
Fuck is that gonna be a a thing where people hoard balls
from right now?
That's what people have brought up,
but I think they go bad.
Yeah, that's going to be premium, though.
They're going to freeze them.
They'll figure something.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's actually, I might have to buy like,
a few of those balls right now.
Sounds like you're just selling them on eBay.
Getting a COVID.
Yeah.
So Fred Ridley, the chairman of Augusta,
they have the Champions' dinner like you were talking
about earlier.
So it's all champions in the picture you see the picture every
year yep but Fred Ridley's in the picture oh that's all it sounds like the Fred
but they always did all of them are like every chairman's been in that I know
but I don't like that either he's not a champion no you know it's worse as he
was like a failed kind of play at least he played in it though but if you want
if you want that picture take that picture and then take another send out without you in it
And that's when they send out if you look at the picture. Yes dead in the middle. Oh that's oh, yeah
Nicholas is like on the side. Yeah, because it becomes a Fred Ridley dinner. It's not the champions dinner
And yeah, like oh, yeah favorite day of the year like Jack. Nicholas was in the seas I get up. Yeah
Yeah, I'm tiger get the fuck you get out Kirk and Ryan are being brought to you by proper 12 true playmakers Know that game time calls for proper shots or a round of proper whiskey and gingers
Pour some proper 12 it with ginger ale top it off with a lime and you're golden
Proper number 12 an Irish apple two ways to pour the roar because anything else just wouldn't be proper pick up a bottle try
It for yourself original rich and smooth proper 12 Irish whiskey or try crisp and fresh Irish
apple it's smooth to the core the proper 12 with ginger ale is my favorite put a
lime on there that's the best way to do it okay now back to Ryan Whitney and
Kirk Minahan what would you guys do for your champions dinner if you set the
menu I think I'd be a big time disappointment me it would be like if
you went to a nice steakhouse there Oh, medium? That's what they usually are.
If you look at them, everybody's got like a ribeye
as one of the main courses.
Faldo was killing Bubba Watson earlier this week
because Bubba Watson's champion's dinner was
grilled chicken breast, mac and cheese,
and confetti cake for, I'm like, that sounds great.
Yeah, confetti cake is awesome.
Rom's menu, I'm picky, I wouldn't eat any of it.
Confetti cake is also one of those cakes
that you never go out and try to find,
but when you're at a party or something,
and it's there, you're like, this is awesome,
I should eat it more.
This birthday cake in general should be on more menus.
Absolutely.
We'll celebrate it just for a birthday.
Are you getting birthday cake ice cream flavors?
Oh yeah, all the time.
Birthday cake ice cream is very good, yes.
Oh my god, Bryson might just make a whole one here
I see me six under here. So alright, so who besides Scotty who else you guys think can win it this week?
I know that we're gonna be tape. We're taping this during the first round. So Rom well, Rom
I know he's off to good wonder but he's probably gonna be in the mix. We were just saying before the show began
I I've never been the biggest Bryson fan. He's just so weird and bizarre.
But if he was in the hunt,
just the drama it would create.
I'd like that.
He's a bizarre human.
We've kind of not had him for the last couple of years.
Now we'll be back in our lives for a couple of days.
And he gained like 50 pounds of muscle,
but now he's lost some of it.
He's too jacked.
He's just a weird cat.
And he has one of my favorite qualities
that he's stupid, but he thinks he's smart.
Yeah. He's my favorite. He feels like that too. He thinks he a weird cat. And he has one of my favorite qualities that he's stupid, but he thinks he's smart. Yeah.
He's my favorite.
He feels like that too.
He thinks he's so smart.
He's got all this equipment that he has with.
He talks down, if you ask him a question,
it's like 50,000 words of nothing.
Yeah.
You remember that video where it was like,
and his like five buddies, his five rowdy boys
that just worked down in his garage.
Right.
Oh yeah, they were yelling as they were benching.
Well, Bryson made a famous quote that he considered a par 68 for himself. Yeah. And then that just bit him right in his garage. Right. Oh yeah, they were yelling as they were benching. Well Bryson made a famous quote
that he considered a par 68 for himself.
Yeah.
And then that just bit him right in the ass.
Yeah.
I was on with foreplay a couple of days
and we were talking about that.
That year he said it.
He was paired in the final round with Longer,
who was 62 at the time.
He dusted him.
He was out driving Longer by 150 yards and holes.
Longer beat him.
That's crazy.
77, it was just, yeah.
So I mean, I like Shofley, he's off to a terrible start.
Not like Matsuyama, I don't know where he is right now,
but I mean, there's, what do you think?
12, 14 guys that can win?
Yeah, maybe not even.
Yeah, I mean, the, the pro, like, you know,
the Scheffler of it all just looms, and he's such a bore.
I understand he's a wonderful player, but he's so bold.
He doesn't really have much personal.
My thing is with, so we had Rom, then we had Scheffler,
and who had it in 2021?
Who won the Masters in 2021?
Rom.
Is that Matsuyama?
Matsuyama.
Johnson in the 20.
And then Johnson.
So four in a row bad Sundays.
They've just been, I think Matsuyama had also kind of
a little bit of a runaway.
I don't care who wins, just back nine Sunday,
give me three guys in one. I just want a good Sunday. Yeah, Matsuyama and Shoffley were kind of, but bit of a runaway. I don't care who wins, just back nine Sunday, give me three guys. Yeah.
I just want a good Sunday.
Amatsuyama and Shofley were kind of,
but it was not great,
because you put the water in 16, Shofley, remember?
So that was decently close.
But it wasn't great.
That was decent.
I just want, if you could get like three or four guys
in the mix, back nine, that's all you want.
And Rory should be around.
Yeah.
You want to see a good leaderboard.
You want to wake up Sunday morning and be like,
look, this is fucking leader.
But even in this tournament,
if it was not a great big names names the back nine if there was four guys
It's the drama second night. Sorry second night
So which like without the drama when tiger was winning and he was winning by as much
What was the most he's won the Masters by well in 97 he won by 15 right now. What do you win in 97?
I I 12 yeah, I was still incredible because you're
like this guy, you never seen that. Yeah. Right. And he, would you say he's the best
golfer of all time? Yeah, I think so. Yes. Okay. I mean, it's hard with second. Yeah.
I'm thinking of Nick. I mean, Nicholas still has more Mr. Nicholas. So there's more majors,
but what's crazy, we were talking about before, like Nicholas might be different. So well
now, but like if tiger woods wants to play the Gusta,
he just can't roll in there and play.
Yeah.
So some winners are given a membership.
Jack was.
And then Patrick Reed isn't getting a membership.
No, no.
But I think Tiger's making a call.
I think Tiger's making a call.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I'm still.
Oh, just the fact that he couldn't.
He had to play with Ridley, actually, the other day. Too great. Ridley's like, Tiger, but I'm just the fact that he couldn't they had to play with Ridley actually the other two great riddly's
They're great. Yeah, I go. I'm away
You guys think you'll ever get to play no we were talking about that before. I know it's zero point zero
I want I never say zero point zero, but I'd say like zero point two all right Whitney
You're hobnobbing that's not Jordan. I played golf with Michael Jordan
He spoke two words to me called me a bitch when he beat me
We have no we have like his best friend then yeah, we're boys you also there's like no members
Yeah, how many members are there? You're friends with Condoleezza aren't you? Yeah? Well? Yeah, I'll
Call her Condi. We interviewed her for the Browns job
It's all the craziest tweet of all time ever
That happened who sent this tweet? What is it? It's Schefter.
Schefter sent it out.
And we're pretty sure what happened
was somebody in the Browns, they were having a new ownership
takeover.
I think somebody in the front office
told someone they didn't really trust.
We're going to bring in Condoleezza Rice.
It's serious.
We're turning over every rock that we can find.
For the head coaching job.
For the head coaching job.
Oh my god.
You don't remember that?
And then somebody in the front office that wasn't supposed to be talking out of the corner
of their mouth told that to Schefter as a smokeout thing.
Big Cat, that's how we were saying how we-
Shouldn't he have known that though?
Yeah, also Schefter probably should have been like, you're getting smoked out bro.
Big Cat, that's how you said you want to find the rat in this office.
Yeah.
Oh, it's a great move.
Just tell a couple different people.
Just little things.
We're hiring Condoleezza Rice.
Yeah, Parcel Sports.
Yeah.
She'd be good in this show.
We'll do a preemptive strike on Bleacher Report.
There's 300 members of Augusta.
300 members.
That's actually more than I thought.
But there's also like how many guys, you had like Warren Buffet's a member.
How many times has he played it?
I bet you he's gone 10 years without even going.
Right.
What's interesting that Chaps didn't know, maybe a lot of people don't know, is after
the tournament ends the course is closed.
Done for the year.
The year?
It's a winter course.
It's open September, Octoberish to now and then it's shut.
I had no idea.
I didn't know that either.
Which by the way, you can get some lousy weather there.
Oh yeah.
November, December?
So they just, no one can play on Augusta in the summer?
They close her for this. That's crazy. Cause they're always doing stuff. Yeah. Wow. Well, the other best thing about the masters for the media members is Monday,
four people, every person that's given a media credential is put into a lottery
and then four people are picked and they play it Monday. Well, not every media person. They're
sure that even they said, we're not going to let R rapaport win. Yeah, I was gonna say how mad was I was a crap work. I just got it. Oh
That'd be what with that haircut. I don't need to see that Twitter with all the cuts the video
And I will say for it. I will say I'm still not emotionally over dude perfect being involved
Yeah, yeah, I think they regret that the fact that it was a combination of dude perfect and Bryson to me
Oh that that it felt person. They're hitting like yeah. Yeah, I did like baseball bats out there
Yeah, like big swinging over the 12. Oh my god
Is that the number one course you guys were gonna play? Yeah, play any course in the world. I don't even think there's
I'm a number two would be yeah, what about this?
What about like, I don't know maybe talk to chaps organize a military operation
You go you parachute into Augusta at night and just sneak onto the course
I think you probably shot and probably get like three holes done before they catch you right true
I don't I don't think I think there's I think there's guards 24-7 around probably have all the fairways
Yeah, they're crazy. Like I was saying my brother and I went the first year
We went we did I got him through stub hub and they had this little StubHub place,
like a temporary one set up next to this Publix,
like a half mile away from the course,
so people were sneaking in to get them
and then go back after a tournament night.
The next year, Augusta bought that whole lot,
and just bulldozed it up.
It just-
Fucking insane.
Because I mean, they have a one year deal
every year with CBS too, every year, one year deal.
And they just shopped it.
So CBS could just lose it at any moment.
I think it's only IBM.
Yep.
What's the umbrella one?
Mercedes, one other.
Rolex probably.
Yeah, so I'm like.
I don't even know if that's one.
Even the Martha Berkier, that crazy year 20 years ago,
that the star of the internet,
CBS is like, because it's about the female membership there,
CBS is like, we're a little uncomfortable about this.
The match said, no problem.
We're gonna pull it, we're just gonna put it on our website. CBS is like, no, it's okay with this. The master said, no problem. We're going to pull it. We're just going to put it on our website. CBS like, no, it's okay.
We'll figure it out. They have all the power.
After going though, you could say, if,
if whoever's running the masters, like the entire tournament,
if they just like took over the government, we'd probably be buzzing as a,
I said, if they took COVID would last four days.
They're like, they're perfect at what they do.
Chick-fil-A, Disney and the masters. Yeah. They're perfect at what they do. Chick-fil-A, Disney, and the Masters.
Yeah, running perfect. That tree disappearing in a matter of minutes. I was there that day. Did you see the tree?
No, we just, the storms were awful and then when that happened they shut it down. We all had to leave.
They got a break. But then all of a sudden the next day it was gone.
I thought they called MBS from Saudi Arabia, came out there with the hacksaws, took care of the tree real quick got the fuck out actually one of the
One of the hardest I've ever laughed at another barstool podcast was the spit and chicklets podcast when you guys had JT on
This and biz when JT was talking about how he's never seen a squirrel at Augusta never seen one
And then biz just goes they kill the squirrels
Like the the childlike wonderment in his voice when he wasn't joking at all
No, he wasn't joking and I actually wouldn't be shocked. They do. Yeah, and then he also like Justin Thomas was mentioning that
He's very close with freddy couples who's an assistant captain on all the rider cup teams and biz is like he loves rub-and-tugs. I heard
Not true and he's like oh man, I don't think so. No dude. I heard that I heard
Jt you could tell he was like what the man, I don't think so. No dude, I heard that, I heard that. JT, you could tell he was like, what podcast is this? Fake news, fake news.
What's, all right, so favorite hole?
I said just, came out 15.
I actually probably agree.
It's just, it's a par five where they hit it over the water
if they're going for it and water short, water real long.
It's like the make or break hole a lot of the time.
It's like a shelf.
And if you lay up, it's still a pain in the ass. It was
the hole that actually Sergio he hit the pin when he the year
he won um against Justin Rose and made it. Nicholas he got it
that year he won too. Yeah it's uh uh 12 is a great hole too. I
don't I don't love 16 anymore. 16 is too easy now. Yeah. 16 is
the one the tiger shot right? The hole in the one. Yeah. That
is probably the coolest shot though.
Yeah, and it's also Vern Lundquist just makes it.
I actually was told that Vern's getting old, I think this is his last year in 16 Tower.
You think he's getting old? Yeah.
How old is he?
He'll soon be old.
I heard from a reliable source that Vern Lundquist...
I love the idea of Whitney.
He's like, he's my age, he's getting up there.
52 now. Someone whispers to Whit,
Oh yeah, Vern's getting old.
What? No shit. That's a hell of a scoop.
You'd be proud, you'd be 50 soon.
But apparently, he fell asleep
like twice in the tower.
Vern last year, he'd wake him up.
Vern struggled a little bit.
We need a Vern cam, because if I was just watching Vern
just slowly not off
in the tower, oh my god. that's one of the smart for my eyes yeah I think the
yak fartured verne hey yeah the other thing with with the masters announcers
are even on CBS they're different than the CBS like verne doesn't do golf for
CBS right the Masters with Gary McCord famously they kicked him out because
Gary McCord said in 90 last master you do is 94 maybe I don't know the year I
know he said.
He said the greens looked bikini waxed.
Whoa.
And the masters said to CBS,
this guy is never gonna be on here again.
That's awesome.
He's never on again.
Another announcer who got kicked off too, before him.
Jack Whitaker, he called the,
he didn't use the word patrons, they're patrons.
Yeah.
He called the patrons, he said,
there's a mob heading down to the green.
And August said, boom, done.
That's shit.
That's crazy. Hit the bricks.
Actually, I know I've done this on Kirk Show,
but Larry David played Augusta,
and well, he's probably played it a bunch of times.
And he's friends, he sent this text to,
who's the, Mike Lupica.
Yep.
Okay, so.
Sports reporters.
It ended up getting.
Legendary, just like curmudgeoning. Biggest assholes I've ever met, yeah. It ended up getting. Legendary. It ended up getting. Legendary just like curmudgeoning.
Biggest assholes I've ever met, yeah.
It ended up getting sent around,
the text, Larry describing his round.
Here's Lusta.
It's pretty funny, like knowing Larry,
I don't know him, but his show.
His style of humor.
So you don't see what he was asked,
but this is his response.
Not quite, 96, have you played it?
Wasn't really that hard, only lost one ball.
Fairways are wide, but I hated the Waspie
privileged exclusivity of it all.
Members in their green jackets, the talking
hardly gets above a whisper in the dining room.
Didn't hear one laugh, it's like a fascist country
and the dictator's Billy Payne, who's actually
referred to as Mr. Chairman.
That's what he's called, like he's fucking Mao.
And then the second text is better keep that,
he must have said to with the T.
Thank you.
Oh no, he's never going back.
I don't think he gives a shit.
Yeah, no, definitely not, definitely not.
Oh man, all right, so who else,
who else are we looking for?
Maybe Longshots, I know that we're,
again, we're recording this.
I mentioned, I know what he's adding now,
I mentioned earlier the thing with the Riggss Cory Connors always plays well here, and he he's in I saw a
Tweet that was basically like these are the only guys that could win it based on their analytics coming into the ball
He was one of the guys even check
I mean no, but listen you don't you when you when you're scrolling Twitter
You see someone's like oh, this is a formula You don't look you don't fucking screenshot it here. We go. It was I mean it was it literally was just like these guys
It's Cory Connors. It was obviously
It was obviously Scheffler. Mm-hmm
You can tell me how stupid it is Ludwig on there based on who's on it. Go ahead. All right, it is
Scotty Sheffler, Matsuyama, Shofley, Lowry, Corey
Connors, Siwoo Kim, Rory McIlroy, Cameron Young, Ludwig. Cameron Young I like a lot
too. Those are the those are the nine guys that... Said Ludwig? Yeah. It's Tida Green
and four events leading into Masters. It's just ball strikers. Yeah. Yeah. Corey
Connors I got to play with him twice down in Florida once and it's just one of
those things. I think playing with all these guys the same but he's just
Every single fucking shot. It's his home course, too
So it's just it was 65 65 two days in a row
Like he doesn't miss the center of the clubface and then you're just like wow
This guy doesn't even win that often on basically never yeah
It's like that's the thing about like Dave made this huge bet with Scheffler this week. That's what we were talking to him earlier. It's not the same as betting
Yukon to win. Right. I mean, Scheffler statistically is going to lose. Right. He's won what? Twice
in the last year? Yeah. Whatever. Three times last 30 events. So it's like, you know, and
you've got to beat all the like if some one guy has a weekend of his life. Bad weather
all around. So hard. I mean, that is crazy looking back too,
because Scheffler I think was the best,
or the lowest odds since Tiger in his heyday.
Correct.
And there was times when Tiger was like plus 125
to win the Masters.
I think there was often tournaments
where it was Tiger and then the Feet.
Yeah, right, right.
And it was a smart bet to take Tiger.
I think it was like minus 110.
Right.
In a golf tournament with 150. One, right? Yeah, and And he's absurd. I don't think we'll ever see a
golfer that good again because what Tiger did was he got me
neither. There were it was such like an exclusive sport when
Tiger started playing right where most people didn't grow
up playing golf and then Tiger started and then a lot of kids
across America Tiger product. Now we're watching the products
of the Tiger Woods youth generation. Right. Also, it's just grown so that it's just the the talent pool is too big now also the perfect marriage of everything
He drove it the longest he had the best short game. He's the best partner. He's mentally that like yeah
He was by a psycho the killer instance. Yeah, his dad just beat it into yeah think about him
If he hadn't gone and tried to be a Navy SEAL right where he like broke his leg. It's like
And he changes swing three times.
Yeah.
But when I was growing up, I didn't play golf.
It wasn't cool to play golf.
Now it's cool to play golf.
Yeah, I didn't until I was a senior in high school.
It's the first time I ever played.
And now, loving golf as much as I do, I wish I played.
Because playing growing up, then you groove the swing.
You can always see a guy who played exactly
Yeah, you know how to do it. I will never learn how to do and they're using an asshole. Yeah
I mean, we're usually yeah rich kid. Yeah. Yeah, I had this business idea last week when we were at the at the Final Four
It's like an amusement park, but it's for sports or like a water park
But for sports the main attraction of this amusement park would be we'd pour
millions of dollars into this one hole and perfectly replicate like number 16 at Augusta.
How much do you think people would pay to play like a perfect replica of that hole?
Just that hole?
Just that hole.
Is it put as part of the broader amusement park?
There's a course that actually has um I think they have famous
well I heard about this is in Texas yeah yeah like a family yes from every
it's where the PGA of America the where the hell is it now I don't even I know
you're talking yeah briscoe I think it's right outside Houston but the thing is
like if you're in Texas you can't make a real replica of like a link style yeah
and Andrews hole and like a snake bites you you're like oh yeah in Scotland
anymore yeah sure 100 degrees you could, you could honestly buy a place
on that street by Augusta and replicate that.
That's what I wanna do.
And during Master's week, people would just flow in
and play that. Yeah.
I think if you go to buy anything there,
they're just gonna buy it.
Yeah, that's a good point too,
but then you'll make money off it.
Are you allowed to trademark a hole?
Do they have like a patent on their holes?
If anyone does, it's them.
I don't know. Yes, true.
You see courses trying to do it though, you'll see that some. I don't know. You see Corsa's trying to do it though,
you'll see that some.
The other thing about Augusta
that I forgot to bring up going there,
so they have this, the merch tent, tent.
It's the size of this office.
And then you go up there and then just after,
you can send it all home.
Ship it home.
And then you get back and it's already your house.
That's amazing.
You don't have to carry it around.
It's like,
And obviously everyone knows about the food obviously.
You go and get, you buy four lunches and it's $11.
Is it good though? Yeah. Yeah, it's fine.
It's not barbecue pork sandwich. It's good. I mean, you're not, you're not like, holy
fuck, but for two bucks. I wouldn't do that thing they're doing where you like order it
to your house though. Have you seen that? That's weird. No, that's no, that's stupid.
I actually hate pimento. So do I. Yeah. I think it's overrated. The chicken sandwich is good.
Yeah, it's good. What a place to catch a buzz though. I mean, yeah, if ten beers for 30 bucks, dude
That's crazy. Have a cigar walk around take it on no phone
Yeah, I mean the no phone would freak me out the first four minutes. You're just like yeah, where's my phone?
And then by the end, yeah, I don't want to go get it. Yeah, I don't want to go back to reality
alright, so
I don't want to go get it. Yeah, I don't want to go back to reality. All right, so
Final answer of who I know again first round but you who'd you pick? Who'd you you bet? Willie Z I bet Willie Z and and then in last night I bet Mount Siyama
I took big bets top 10 both of them and then probably a quarter that both them to win
Do you guys like anything like on a Saturday when you're looking at the board being like alright?
This is what I need to see to maybe take a long shot like someone coming coming back. How many shots out? Yeah. Like, or someone coming back
from like, yeah, like they're in 10th place and you're like, they can make a run. Yeah.
Yeah. If you find the right guy and he's playing well. And also you have to look who's leading.
Like if it's sort of a guy, you know, it's Scheffler, it's like it's over. Yeah. Right.
But if it's, you know, Ryan Fox, right. Or Danny Willett, your shot 68 today. Danny Willett
is not winning the masters. Right. You look at it like that. I mean, there's, there's
no chance. Uh, I like betting, um, daily matchups. Yeah Willis is not winning the Masters. So you look at it like that. I mean, there's no chance. I like betting daily matchups.
Yeah.
One on one, and then you just fall in both.
What sucks is this tournament,
well, at least with DraftKings right now,
they're daily matchups.
They're not in the same group.
So you like it when they're actually on the same hole.
I like betting just the score daily.
Like I have Scottie today under 71 and a half. 70.5 or something. Scottie's. All right, I think he was 70 and a half. What?ty today under 71 and a half.
70.5 or something. Scotty's? I think he was 70 and a half. What? He was either 71 and a half
because I think people were scared of the win. The win was too big though. Scotty Shaeffler's minus 70 and a half today?
Yeah, I'll tell you what it was.
I like doing just like buy the whole bets too when you're just you're stopping by your TV. Yeah. Yeah
Is he gonna hit the fairway? I've been already on this hole
That's how you get smoked. Yes. Yes. I've never won one but I'm missing this fairway. Yeah
I think they missed the wind today though. You're right cuz these guys are tearing it up. Yeah, I didn't bet Scotty
Never mind. He was probably 70 and a half. I bet Willie Z under 72 and a half
Really? Yeah, two and a half. I think people were scared of the wind. Hank, you're a golfer. What do you think about Augusta?
Love to go. It looks great.
You love to... What'd you do last night?
I went out. I had a couple drinks.
Nice.
Yeah?
Yeah?
How many?
How'd it go?
Uh, I had a lot. My phone died.
Oh, that sucks.
Turned it on the charger, went to sleep, didn't turn on, alarm didn't go off.
What times you wake up?
Eleven.
I would stab someone to be able to sleep till eleven.
But it's not like we had work.
Yeah, no, I'm pretty anxious right now.
Nothing going on.
Yeah, no, I was supposed to be here.
Explain something.
I missed a recording.
Oh, fuck.
You'll hear us on FireFest in a second, but...
I'm alive.
Yeah, he's alive.
We were scared for a
second we had an already like that once he just didn't show up to a pod yeah I
don't know is this it what does it does like how serious is the show of Hank
dies like that first episode I'd be serious you'd be in time moment of
silence do the Fox injury music for football you and cry them mmm yeah I'd
cry yeah you gotta cry so Hank doesn't know this part I called his building cuz I was like it was 1130 in
the morning I was longer I actually actually that I'm actually a little
nervous differences like with Hank our first thought was he probably just
slept in but what if it's serious with you and RA he's not there you're like
dead yeah so I called this building and I said I was like you know we work with Henry Lockwood. We think he slept in and his phone's not charged
can someone go knock on his door and the one was like sure no problem, we'll do that and
25 minutes go by and I'm trying to call Hank cuz I'm like someone went knocked on you want hold the entire no
No, I hung up, but I was like someone's gonna knock on his door. He's gonna plug in his phone
He'll call me right away
25 minutes go by he doesn't call me I call back to the front front desk. I'm like, hey, I just called and she's like
Oh, yes, of course
We got in contact with Ron Lockman's wife and she's trying to find her husband. I was like no
I was like no
Hey Ron's like I didn't do anything honey. Hey fine, Ron. Yeah, so that was bad
I promise that was bad anything. Yeah, but then he's alive. He's good. You feel good Hank
No, I feel terrible. We'll talk about if I fell asleep at eight if I say I fell asleep at 830 in the morning
I don't think I could sleep till 11 at this point in my life. No. Oh, yeah
I set my alarm today for 730 is I freak out ever happen. Yeah, I freak out if I sleep past 745
I freak out and fell rested was just waking up bad. We could have had no worse
Sleeping through something or just being late in general is the worst feeling in the world
I just I missed one bus once in the NHL and just like you did
Yeah, it was to practice and I got an uber and wasn't that late, but you get reamed out. Oh, yeah reamed
Oh, our strategy is just just stare at Hank and let him do all the guilt tripping on himself
Yeah, you know he genuinely feels. Oh, yeah, because he's hungover. Yeah, there's nothing. I don't miss that
Yeah, he did we did early pardon my take days when we were doing before we moved to New York
And we're doing it all on Skype
There was one night on a Sunday night late
that Hank fell asleep, we had to call his house
and I had to talk to his mom, be like,
can you wake him up?
All right, so last question, rollback question,
rhoback.com, promo code take,
Q-zits, joggers, polos, hoodies, everything,
rollback.com, promo code take.
So what is the bet that you guys had for the mini golf? Yeah, I want five bucks. Congratulations again. I forgot about that. Yeah
We had a bet where he guaranteed victory and I said, you're not winning. I said if you win, I'll give you five
It's not really I framed it. Yeah
I should be fair. I don't remember exactly how it sure that's fine. Good. So it was ten to one odd
So I got if I won using me five thousand it came about. That's fine, go ahead. So it was 10 to one odds. So I got, if I won, he was gonna be 5,000.
Anybody else won, I was gonna give him 500.
Okay.
So you were that confident.
Yeah, and then looking back, I was like,
that was the worst bet,
because I said, would you have taken 2,000?
He's like, yes.
Yeah.
So I was on the hook, and even before his meltdown,
I was just worried about him. It would be like if Tigers coming. It's like yeah champs coming. I don't know what to do
Yeah, very strange moment for me very strange. What was going through the old head?
Well, I mean I got the unnamed 20 28 officially by the way
What you got a 28 on that 28? Oh, no, I mean do I have to play this last round?
I know others so you so you're with Frank. Yeah, you and Frank
I know others are bailed on this tournament, but keep in mind, despite this, I'm gonna play.
Hey, this guy, Jason Day, actually,
he's always playing well here.
I don't know how he's playing coming in, but.
Yeah, he's been okay.
It's just like a portrait of mental illness, obviously.
I just, I can't, I wasn't mad at the way he was ahead.
I was mad at how I played the hole before.
Yeah, missed the short one.
When I hit that shot, then the effect went over at seven.
My mind literally just went blank.
Like I just went red.
And then that was, I don't really remember much about it.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, you did have the perfect-
I could have killed somebody, honestly.
I could have killed Ron Lockman.
I have no idea.
You had the perfect reply because people came up to you
and were just like, what happened?
And you're like, mental illness is funny to you?
Yeah, I'm here to be a clown, fine, but I'm just saying, I battle it every day.
But yeah, that was not a good moment.
Like, and it's just stupid.
Now I get to play in the first group with these losers and it's called To Respect and
it's just going to be like, it feels beneath me, but it's my own fault.
Like I put myself, that's why I'll yell at Hank at some point, but it's not Hank's fault.
I did something stupid.
They're following the rules.
I don't have a problem with that.
So what's going to happen for the next one?
Cause we're going to do this every year now, right?
Well, I, if I'm invited, yeah, no, you're invited.
I will make sure you're a former champion.
I would think I have a, the big thing now though, I will say is Jeff D Lowe won in the
Hamptons.
I won last year. If Whitney
wins, he does get to choose the champions dinner the night before.
Medium steak. Medium steak. I had your back. I don't like medium steak, but
people should get to enjoy however they want. And if you order your steak medium
at Very Nice Steakhouses, it ends up coming out medium rare. That's why medium rare
plus. Yeah that's true. That's what I do. Next year, we were talking about this this morning.
Next year should be.
It needs to be a legit quarter.
So next year, I think we're going to do.
Limited field, maybe.
Yeah, it's going to be a smaller field, no cut.
And we're going to also change.
I would like to change the obstacles.
The holes.
During, like, after round one.
So that way, people can't figure it out.
I think the biggest thing is getting break.
And I don't know how hard that is.
But when it's just dead flat every time mini golf all
about hitting up the hill, it comes back to your foot.
Like if it's just flat, I don't think the excitement will ever be that nuts.
But they did a good job though.
It's a good, it was awesome.
I'm just, I'm not like chirping it.
I'm saying to make it like harder and maybe I know Taylor made gave us these awesome putters,
but it's more about the plastic mini golf putter. Yeah. How do you feel about the the Mickey Mouse stuff like the windmills?
I think that's what any golf one or two in there just because mini golf like something that's totally where you can make a ten
Yeah, yep, or a one. Yeah, like even the best player could absolutely fuck up and it's not their fault. Yeah, that's mini golf
Yeah, all right boys. Thank you so much Bryson's minus seven right now
Holy shit. Yeah. Yeah, you know what him in the hunts great. Yeah, it is
I agree with you his quotes is just how he goes about things
He's gonna it'll be a story his first answer to have suppressed is so dumb
Yeah, we have his inner would suck ass too. It is true. Oh, there's gonna be like molecular shit
Oh, it would be like whey protein. Yeah, yeah astronauts eat. Yeah
Yeah, just that ice rise good
There is nothing funnier though than like someone who has a lot of money a lot of time and is very dumb and then great
This is themselves that there's
YouTube channel. Yeah, right. Yes, and they just lit and they just consume all kinds of weird shit
And then all of a sudden they're an expert
So that is that is Bryson.
We hated on Bryson when the Brooks Bryson rivalry was going, but they've squashed the
beef so we have to squash the beef.
I think that's only still in the back of my head.
Yeah, no, I'm ready to go like this.
I don't trust him.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm all over it.
But he is good for storylines.
All right.
Thank you both.
Appreciate it.
Oh, wait, Stanley Cup pick.
We're going to have you back on in a couple of weeks.
So I'm all oilers.
But but if anyone else is going to get it done, I think Dallas is the only thing
I've told absolutely everyone in this office.
If you want to make a future bet, Dallas.
If they play Vegas in the first round, I don't hold responsibility on it,
because even if they beat them, they're going to kick the shit out of each other.
But Dallas is the best team in the league.
OK, all right. You have anything to say about the NBA? Me? They're gonna kick the shit out of each other, but Dallas is the best team in the league. Okay. All right
You have anything to say about the NBA?
Me no. Oh Ryan what I saw
Ryan likes Ryan's right. Hey, yeah, I haven't I haven't done
Oh, that's right, but I saw a guy missed a game the other night for a headache. Mm-hmm
That's heavy extinct though. That's fucking you you would have liked Deandre Ayton who was on the Sun's Top draft pick got traded to the Blazers this past year and like two months into the season
He complained because he was sleeping on an air mattress, and he's made like hundreds of million dollars
And he was just like yeah, I'm sleeping on air mattress people don't know what I'm going through
You just didn't buy a real mattress. He also missed a game because the roads were too icy
Once again, I like the game of basketball.
I cannot stand the NBA.
I'm old, I'm old.
You know, I loved it growing up,
but it does bother me that they just,
the other night I was flipping around,
they shot 12 straight possessions, they shot a three.
I know, I know.
No, I agree with you.
But I'm just like, this is not what I like.
It's not what I like.
But I get, it's, makes sense.
Will you be more into the NBA finals than the Cup finals?
In terms of entertainment. Depends on who's in it. probably cuz I it's most likely gonna be nugget Celtics
Yeah, that's a good matchup. What if it was like Oilers Leafs? Yeah, those are both that would be I love all sports
So yeah, I would okay if it was like if Canada had a chance to win
Yeah, Stanley Cup that would be an awesome story, but if you get like
answers Stanley Cup that would be an awesome story, but if you get like Panthers Golden Knights again, I'm gonna although the NBA finals last year sucked
I mean the nuggets were just so much better than the heat it wasn't but I love whenever there's a good final
You know when a finals goes to six seven and you're like
Well, do you agree that the first round of the Stanley Cup? Yes, the best. Yes. Yeah
Yes, because it's it's it's kind of like the first round of March Madness where it's like you don't know what's gonna happen
And it's just's kind of like the first round of March Madness where it's like you don't know what's gonna happen And it's just two weeks of four games
Yeah
No
the first round the NBA playoffs suck because you just know you can just pencil in the
One twos and threes and then you know, maybe you'll get a good series out of four and five
I get anxious just watching playoff overtime hockey if I don't have a dog in the fight if you're a player if you're out there
On the ice during overtime in the playoffs. Do you feel as nervous as no watching you?
It's way even now watching I'm just like yeah, it's like a panic. Yeah, I'm playing.
No, no, just we were in double overtime in the cup finals and we were just, I just remember
not even like thinking about it, but you're not thinking like how a fan would be sitting
there on the edge of their seat the whole time. Yeah. It's crazy watching it is the
best. All right. thank you, boys.
All right, guys.
Appreciate it.
Love you.
God bless.
Welcome back to another Fire Fest of the Week,
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Okay. Fire Fest of the week. Let's set the table real quick. If you can put the camera
on the couch, there is no Henry Lockwood here right now. So, uh, we have an idea that Hank has possibly slept in. His phone maybe wasn't
charged because we've all texted him. I texted him something unrelated at 9.30 in the morning.
Now it is pretty early right now, Big Cat. Oh yeah, it's 11.20 on a Thursday. Let's just
give him one last chance.
Hey, Henry. Sorry I missed your call.
Yep. So...
He did play three rounds of golf yesterday,
three rounds of golf. So we're going to tape our fire fast. Hank hopefully is fine. Um,
and he will be here later at some point, but we will get his take, uh, after we do our
fire first, whenever he does show up as we're taping this. So how it works is we sometimes we'll have like different
stuff going on during the day. So we tape in different portions. So I texted last night,
I was like, Hey, let's do end of the show at around 11am. We'll have Kirk and Whitney
on and then we'll wait till the master's first round is over so that we have updated to start
the show. So everyone knew the plan. Hank is sleeping as of right this second,
1121 on a Thursday morning. When he wakes up, he is going to be in the worst mood of all
time. I mean, he's not a good wake up or anyway. Yeah. But when he realizes that it's, I, how
late do you think he can sleep? It's Sunday. It's Sunday. Scary is in turbo mode. When
you do this on a weekday, like if you're supposed to be at work, if you've ever overslept, missed
a class, missed a meeting, he's going to come in and he's
going to react one of two ways. Choose your own adventure with Hank. Is Hank going to
be like, I'm sorry, I fucked this up, hand up, it's on me? Or Hank could come in and
just be mad at everyone because he knows that we made fun of him before we got here.
I think it's going to be the latter.
You think he's going to go pre?
I think it's going to be like, I I'm gonna make a joke when he walks in
And he's gonna just be like give me that desk there and like oh, okay, I see
I think he's gonna take accountability and be like I screwed up you guys can make fun of me
No, no chance. He will take accountability in the fact that you can't really say anything when you're a 30 year old man who sleeps till
Noon on a Thursday. I think he's...
But he's not going to be happy that we're making fun of him.
Do you think it was a, I forgot to plug in my phone or he had some power issues in his
apartment?
I think he forgot to plug in his phone and he was overtired because we have been going
all over the place.
Yeah.
So that I will back Hank up on.
We have been working a lot and mini golf takes a lot out of you.
Yeah, I forgot to specify that the three rounds of golf were mini golf.
Yeah, mini golf. But yeah, I think, listen, I also, we're gonna, we have a job to do,
he's got a job to do. Our job is to make fun of him. His job is going to be to get mad
at us because I don't think that, this is so beyond scary scary when he wakes up, he is going to have the
worst 15, 20 minutes ever.
Ever.
Max, what are you going to say?
I'm just thinking, I was going to ask him to do an ad read and PFT, I may be asking
you to do that ad read now because of Hank.
Because of Hank?
Yeah.
Oh, so now he's affecting my day.
Actually, you know what's going to be funny is The like five minutes after he wakes up when he looks at his phone and it's dead and then he has to plug it in
And wait, yeah, and he's just gonna be staring at his phone
Imagining it's one of those
Imagining the text like a jack-in-the-box from hell that are gonna pop out of that thing in his face and oh my god
You know sometimes when you like first plug it in and it like takes way longer than it should
for it to actually turn on, I hope it's 10 minutes.
And he, it probably says something
maybe about my relationship with Hank
because I've known him for so long,
but when this happened to PFT a few years ago
and his phone was unplugged and he slept in,
I was like calling everyone thinking he had died.
And I was like very, very concerned. With. It's like, all right, well we got to record
and make fun of him. Yeah. That time. I don't think I even had anything. No, we did. We
had the interview. We had an interview because you came into the interview late and you're
like, I slept in. I legit was like, is he okay? The worst thing ever about that day
was coming into work. And I think I came in at like noon and
Everybody in the office was like are you all right? Yeah, and they thought that I had like a problem
Yeah, I thought you would die. Yeah people I got I got texts from everybody like are you alive?
Are you okay? And then I had to just come and be like I was just tired. I'm sorry
Like I slept in but yeah, this is if somebody
We're gonna we're never gonna hear this.
No.
Yeah, I guess I am a little nervous
now that I just said that out loud.
Who would we even?
No, Hank sleeps in though.
Yeah, he does, he's a sleeper.
So that makes me a little,
but what point do we start sounding alarms
where like, should we do a wellness check?
I think one.
I was thinking 1230.
One.
Meme says one. After lunch. One well, I was thinking 12 31 Meem says after lunch
Okay after lunch. I will call his
His residence and see if maybe the doorman can do a wellness check well now that now this just kind of put a shiver down
My spine yeah
But we wouldn't hear this. He's just tired. Yeah, he's fine. He's fine. He's just tired, and he's grumpy. He's absolutely fine
Okay, fire festest, PFT.
My FireFest of the week is I have to do an ad read because Hank's left in.
That's tough.
That's tough.
I thought I was free and clear today.
I didn't get any texts from memes this morning.
He hasn't sauntered up behind me like the Undertaker and just been like, hey, hey, PFT,
I got a camera.
Can you do the ad read?
To be completely fair, I also hadn't brought it up to Hank that I needed him to do the
ad read either. So then you should save that, you should save that and bring it up to it
Yeah, also one thing we forgot to say is the good news for Hank is it's not like the entire companies here this today
Yeah, it's not like Dave's
That adds so much to it because if it was just us he would just have to deal with us giving him shit mm-hmm like
If Dave needs him
for some reason in the next three hours and can't find him, oh my God.
And if Whitney catches wind of this, it would be a shame. It's over. It'd be a real shame
if someone were to let Kirk Manahan know. Oh no. But my, my real fire fest of the week
is I've had, I've had dog trouble this week. Dog trouble starting last week with Blake.
He's been limping a lot. Took him into the vet.
Was very scared because there's all sorts of shoulder injuries that they said he could
have and they're all like a six month to a year recovery and Blake's very much a puppy.
And so he's obviously like super, super active.
Turns out it's growing pains, but it's bad growing pains.
The worst part about this whole experience has been I've had Blake doped up to hell all week.
So he's drooling, he's sleeping, trying to keep his energy down so he doesn't walk around at all.
But every time he starts to sober up, he just starts to sprint around the house because he's like,
holy shit, I can play again. And then he re-injured his shoulder.
So it's like...
Hurt or injured.
Hurt or injured. I think he's just hurt.
But when he wakes up, he's now waking up
super early in the morning because he sleeps all day.
So he wakes up at like 5 a.m.
And he just comes up to me and just claws my chest,
paws me to roll me over or wake me up.
And he's been, it's been tough trying to just get
any sort of exercise into him without him
re-injuring himself.
And so now today, I'm out of all the sedatives that I had for him.
So now he's just going to be re-injuring himself left and right, left and right,
running around.
So yeah, this is going to be an interesting Masters weekend.
Because like you said, best couch weekend of the year.
Blake's not going to want, he's going to be like, let's go out and play.
You get more.
Get off the couch.
Can you get more prescription?
Can we get Pug? Go get some. Yeah, Pug could get some. Get off the couch. Can you get more prescription? Can we get Pug?
Go get some.
Yeah, Pug could get some.
Go to the vet.
Yeah, hook it up.
Get some trays that don't Pug.
Yeah, he'll get it for you.
Get him on a drip.
But that's bad.
And then also my house is, the joys of a homeowner, you forget like all the stuff that your super
used to take care of.
I've had like three things fall apart in my house.
That's the worst. That's the winter time. And now because it's out of the winter time, I have to like three things fall apart in my house this winter time and now because it's out of the winter time
I have to fix those things like the garage door. Remember when I told you the garage?
Yeah, it got frozen to the bottom
So it bent the door now
I have to get my garage door fixed my outside door got jammed and I tried to yank it open and pulled it off
The hinges and broke a hinge. I now I have to get that fixed and
Yeah, just stuff falling apart around the house. It's tough.
It's crazy because you know, as everyone knows from from Billy's campaign, dudes can't buy
houses anymore. So I became a homeowner whatever a year ago, first time in my life and it is
it's awesome owning a house but man you forget how much shit you could just call someone
and be like, Hey, come fix this. Yeah. shit you could just call someone and be like hey come fix this
Yeah, you're like
It's it's my house. I gotta fix it myself
There's tons of stuff and especially since I bought Michael Jordan's old house having somebody come out and redo like the custom 23 garage door
Yeah, that's gonna take a long time wood floors buckle a little on your basketball court the blackjack table
Felt on the third blackjack table not the primary two is coming up a little bit and I now I gotta get a felt guy.
Oh man. Sucks. Yeah. Those like the uber uber rich who just have like house managers. Yeah. That's it. Like a guy that is the boss. Yeah, who just is around the house and he's just like, yeah, I'll take care of this. I'll take care of that You have a company that works inside your house because you have the manager and then you have like the landscapers
Yeah, and all the handymen it'd be nice to be there. It's really nice
Okay, my fire fest is I tweeted this on Saturday. I went right the final four but after
39 maybe not 39 years cuz probably when I was a baby this happened probably 34 years. I had a great run as
A guy who didn't spill on himself and that run has come to an end. I am now a spill guy
Happens probably once a week. Mm-hmm chips in case. Oh have become the devil
I just end up with a spill no matter what I think it's reflexes
Have gotten slower and just maybe not paying
as much attention because I was, I did pride myself as being a guy who very rarely spilled
anything.
I think I know what it is.
What?
I think I know the difference. This, this I've noticed this about myself and I think as a
dad, this applies more directly to you. You probably do more eating while standing.
Yes.
Than you did at any other point in your life.
That's very true. Well, I, I, I am a big stand and eat guy because I'm convinced that if you're
standing while eating, the calories are basically halved because it's like you never sat down
and had a real meal. But yeah, it's tough to come to grips with being like, okay, I'm
the guy who will just have a huge mark right in the middle of his sweatshirt or t-shirt
once a week and there's nothing I can do about it. I've just I've become
I actually appreciate everyone because when I did tweet it there was a lot of people were like welcome to the club
mmm, like it's it's okay once you admit it because I think that would probably be worse if I
Somehow denied the fact that I was a spill guy if I was a spill guy in denial
Mmm, I think that would be worse because I would basically just be living like oh, no, I'm fine. I don't spill
I'm a spill guy. Yes spill on myself. I've noticed I've started to spill way more when I drink
Yeah, it's like out the side of my mouth doesn't work. Your mouth doesn't work. Yeah, your mouth doesn't work. Your hands don't work
It's just yeah, but then reflexes are just different
Like I'll have moments where I will I will spill and old me would would do the thing where you know
You almost step back like in the matrix. Yeah dodge the thing that's coming down on your shirt.
That doesn't even happen.
You might become a bib guy.
I should become a bib guy.
How come bibs are only for guys that are eating lobster and babies?
We should have more bibs.
Yeah, bibs are fine.
Or we could just design shirts that have pre-designed spills on them.
Yeah, that would be good too.
But it's getting to a point too where
I think when you have to fully admit that you're a spill guy
is I've had multiple times in the last couple of months
where I spill and don't realize I spilled
for a solid like five, 10 minutes.
That's worse because you didn't even come into my head
that like, oh, you might've spilled on yourself.
And then I looked down 10 minutes later and I'm like,
there's just a fucking huge splotch of salsa on my shirt
So my dad used to always be shirtless around the house if it wasn't like if there wasn't company over
He would just be like I'm in my own house. Let me stop you right there. I can't take my shirt off
Well, okay with it. Yeah, maybe that's right that might that might be the next nodding his head right now
There's got their shirt, but there's eyes and not yet, but no there's a lot of dudes they get older
They don't they don't care. it's like my house, I'm going
to take my shirt off and hang out.
No.
You can't spill on your shirt if you're not wearing one.
You don't have enough shame if you're one of those guys.
Yeah.
And just to be clear, I would love to be a shirtless guy, I'd have to be 40 pounds lighter
because I always was jealous of the guy who would, it's 60 degrees out, first nice day
in spring and they're just walking around with their top off because they have something
to flaunt. I have to keep my shirt on at all times.
And I make fun of those guys. I'm like, Oh, this guy coming out with his shirt on just
wants to show everyone he has. But like, realistically, I'd love to. Oh yeah, of course. Of course.
Max, you can back me up. I probably have no shirt on for, not counting shower time, 15 seconds a day.
I quick change even in my bathroom, in my closet, I'll quick change.
Hate it.
Hate it.
So yeah, that one's out.
Good idea, but it's out.
You just got to transition to not giving a fuck.
Nah, it's still, because you just know what you look like without your shirt on and it's
such a bad scene that you it's actually
We're actually being gracious to everyone around us. Yes. No one wants to see that also spill guy spill guy has to do it
Like that's also a fat guy move. Yeah, but I was no no no no no no Max
You're very wrong about that spill guy. It affects all body spill guy
I think is yeah more reflexes like cuz I was not a spill guy. I know people won't believe me, but for the longest time
I was, you know, even like I proud, I prided myself on being an incredible ice cream cone
guy. Like I was, I didn't have that shit flying around. I was, I knew when the bottom was
starting to give, get that, get that napkin under there. It just, it just went on me.
So reflexes are gone. I'm a spill guy now.
I think you got it. So you should either wear a bib or you
should sit down more while you eat. Yeah, those are the only
two options here. But I don't think that sitting down while
you eat is really an option at all. Because when we're on the
road, we graze. Yeah, there's like food that's around
exactly. Sometimes we don't have dinner time. Sometimes we don't
have lunch. We have like a little spread that set out
while we're working. You have to stand while you eat. I I ate I was very hungry this morning
I ordered breakfast or lunch at 930, which was crazy, but whatever just follow me here
I got a burrito
I ate the whole burrito over a trash can because I was like I know this is gonna be a problem
So I was just standing over a trash can being like I can't let a spill happen at 930 in the morning
Standing over a trash can being like I can't let a spill happen at 930 in the morning when I'm eating lunch and people Are like why do you burrito on your fucking sweatshirt at 930 in the morning?
So yeah, I'm a spill guy. I embrace it welcome all the spill guys who have welcomed me to the party
I appreciate it. We will stand together. No shaming spills. It just happens some sometime in life
You just become a spill guy should make a car wash for dudes. I think's just shower. No, but just walk through it. Just walk through real fast
Alright Jake finish this off, and then we'll actually we'll add on Hank so finish this off, and then we'll do Hank alright
So Saturday night after the final four it took me an hour and a half to get an uber
I was stranded at State Farm Stadium. I would have just given up and the prices kept going up
Yeah, it was like $200 get home. They surge you it's crazy
Yeah, that's it's such a frustrating thing when the the app is like still loading loading loading driver details soon after about 45 minutes
I just would have held my breath. I walked
For me asked for a cab company and I called them and no one answered and it was just a disaster
I sure sat on the curb and cried.
I was close.
Hitchhike, bring back hitchhiking.
Bring back hitchhiking.
Hitchhiking was safe.
I feel like hitchhiking got a bad rap
because there were a couple serial killers out there.
Couple murders, what murders?
Who cares, who cares?
I'd say almost 100% of serial killers, excuse me,
almost 100% of hitchhikers ended without a serial killer
encounter.
And that's how everyone got around in the 60s.
Yeah, that's true.
Talk to your parents.
Couple guys ruined it.
Yeah.
Okay, so should we just stop right here and then we'll do Hank?
Yep.
So we're going to have, the next thing you'll hear is Henry Lockwood sitting on this couch
with the biggest fire festival.
Okay, so Hank.
Hey guys.
Good to see that you're alive.
We're just now doing Fire Fest of the Week.
So we actually taped a whole Fire Fest without you and we said during it that like we might just have to delete this if you're dead, but you're not.
I'm not excited to hear that. I am excited that I'm alive, and that's not,
you guys don't have to do that.
Yeah, I'm worried sick about you, Hank.
Worried sick.
Yeah, I mean, that's fair.
It's a fair concern.
It was a very reasonable hour to be awake, and I wasn't.
So yeah, walk us through what happened
and how bad your scaries were when you realized
what had happened.
My anxiety is still crawling out of my skin.
No excuses.
Really just embarrassing honestly, but if I was giving excuses, which I'm not, because
there are none.
More just why it happened.
Was up early yesterday, was here early for mini golf.
Only had a couple hours of sleep.
Long day. And then Caleb, our friend, was in town. early for for for mini golf only had a couple hours of sleep long day and then
Caleb our friend was in town he's like oh I'm gonna come you know check out
your apartment that turned into a long night that turned into a long night we
went out late few bars club late night on little sleep got home put my phone in
the charger turned my fan app on but it was on the charger where it's on the back
Plugged in the magnetic charges one of those magnetic charges. Oh, you just put it on and assume it charges
And then I opened my eyes
And I was like it's really bright outside and I'm rested and I was like this is bad
I could just tell by how much you know
I knew what time I went to bed and I was like this is bad. I could just tell by how much you know I knew what time I went to bed, and I was like I could tell by how rested
I was that this yeah, this is very bad, and I was like my phone was dead
I was like oh fuck this is disaster
Could even figure out how to get the time I was like I know I know this is bad
But what time is it we said that we're like I don't think he has a clock
I have a clock in my I have a clock in my microwave
I found and I was praying in your microwave on my microwave I found, and I was praying.
In your microwave?
On my microwave.
Praying that it was, like, the time difference,
it was an hour ahead somehow, that it was like 11.40,
or that it was 10.40, not 11.40.
And then I turned on my TV, I figured out
if I turned on my TV and looked at the guide,
it would tell me, and it was 11.40.
Do you remember there was a number growing up
that's gonna date us that you could call and get the time. Yeah, I would just tell you what time it was
I wouldn't had a phone to call. Yeah, so alright
So the worst part had to have been the moment you woke up
To the moment your phone was fully charged to turn on. Yeah, cuz I also left my laptop here
So I was like I couldn't even I couldn't even get on
here so I was like I couldn't even I couldn't even get on the anxiety about what I missed and texting calls and stuff was was just absolutely ripping
and it took it felt like it took an hour for my phone to turn on yeah you
actually you missed OJ's death yeah OJ died did you know that what oh yeah
oh nice we get to break the news egg OJ Simpson? OJ Simpson dead. How?
Dead.
Died by death.
Dead.
That's confirmed.
Yes.
Confirmed dead.
Everyone's been talking about it.
Very dead.
That's insane.
He is dead.
He ain't coming back.
That is absolutely insane.
I wish you hadn't told him.
Yeah.
See how long could he go without knowing.
Who's back of the week on the way.
Yeah.
Wow.
So Hank, you didn't know OJ died?
No.
What are your thoughts on OJ?
Bad guy. Yeah good riddance. Yeah, only the good die young. He was 78
That's older than I thought. Um, so what what are we what are we gonna reassess the protocol here?
We're gonna have a meeting about you know, how we internally how we fix this so it doesn't happen again
Probably if he does it again, he has to get a soul patch for two years
Yep, who was the first call was that the first call? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I
Mean the fact that I called your
Your apartment cuz I was I was like we did the whole fire fest. Well, it's also I never go
I would never I thought you'd gone home cuz you were about I did go home
I was home and it was like I'm gonna come check your apartment that we're gonna like have a couple drinks and hang out
So it's Caleb's fault. No. No, it's my fault. I think I have a serious question for you
Have you become a club guy?
Well, it's kind of been a club guy, but like I think you're really into clubs now
No, not necessarily. I it's it's fun. It's fun in the right right circumstance
I think hey, but like I wouldn't go to a club on a regular
Weekend yeah on a Friday like I you know if I was going out this week
I won't go to a club is it okay factor fiction is Wednesday a weeknight
Wednesday is a weeknight. Okay, okay
I think Hank is in the category Caleb had a famous line
Maybe five years ago where he just was like I'm done apologizing for
partying. He was like I'm just not, I'm going to party and I don't care what anyone says
about it. I think Hank might be in that spot. Yeah, I apologize for partying last night.
I mean my actions are bad. I'm trying to figure out a way to pay for it. You're not in trouble.
No, I know, but I just feel bad. I'm going to get a bar tab for the crew, crew members
of Mini Golf. They've had a busy few days trying to get some've had a busy you guys trying trying to go back to the bar tonight. I don't know if I'm gonna go
But I'm gonna wait a minute. I actually goodwill
Pay it forward. I actually turn into the exact same thing tomorrow. I just remembered something Hank Sunday
You told me that you were done drinking for six weeks. Oh, no, I was
We were getting a beer before the game and he was like, yeah, this is probably my
last day. I'm going to go six weeks. No trick. I mean I did. That was the plan. And then
I went home and I was like, oh, you know, wait, you did what? I went two days without
drinking. Yeah, no, I have, I have, I have no excuse. You quit drinking for six weeks
for two days. I am quitting drinking now until May. I have a wedding, a friend's wedding in May, May 18th.
What about tonight?
Well, this is like, you gotta hair the dog.
I don't know if I'll go, but I'm gonna get the tab.
And if I go, I might have one beer.
I'm happy you're okay, because there was,
we joked about it, and then the fear started to creep
in my head where I was like wait
Are we joking about something that could be an actual problem? No, no, just I'm a fucking idiot
Well, you said was very very relatable though where you wake up and you immediately feel so good that you feel bad
Yeah, you feel like I'm way too
rested yeah
Okay, well numbers let's do numbers good show
Yeah.
OK, well, numbers.
Let's do numbers. Good show.
Scott Van Pelt on Monday, as is tradition. I'm going to take 20
for the amount of hours Hank slept last night.
I'll take 17.
Three. Oh, I was going to do that.
Fuck. Three.
All right, I'll take what's Max's usual number?
20. I took that. Oh, you did? OK.
18. Give me 56. Tiger hitting took that. Oh, you did, okay. 18.
Give me 56.
Tiger hittin' lefty.
Yeah, yeah, he hit lefty.
Why did you pick 56?
Why?
That's the only number I've ever won on.
At the old office.
Oh, I just happened to pick it.
That's weird.
Wait, let me plug in Shane.
Yeah, yeah, no, I'm not gonna hit it.
No, no, no, I'm good.
Shane?
21. 57!
Oh!
Damn!
Love you guys. I'm the one I'm to say I've saved anyway Today's a night, the day to find you, shying away
I'll be coming for your love, I'll be coming for your love, okay
Take me on, take me on I'm eager, after all, to see Needless to say when I'm down too