Pardon My Take - NFL Draft And The Whole Podcast Has New QB's, NBA/NHL Playoffs + Comedian Dan Soder In Studio
Episode Date: April 26, 2024The NFL Draft First Round is over and our lives have changed forever because we all have new Quarterbacks. PFT and Big Cat are over the moon while Hank is needing some more convincing. Michael Penix t...o the Falcons shocked the NFL world and we talk other picks down the board (00:00:00-00:40:03) . NBA/NHL playoffs and Hank has declared the end of Cocky Hank after the Heat take Game 2 (00:40:03-00:51:49). Joel Embiid drops 50 and also became a professional wrestler and the Lakers had a lead and lost to the Nuggets again (00:51:49-01:06:04). Dan Soder joins us in studio to talk comedy, sports, rooting for the 49ers, his childhood best friend Mike McDaniel and his new special out on youtube now (01:06:04-02:01:50). We finish with Fyre Fest of the week and the lottery ball which was taped at 230 pm before the draft took place (02:01:50-02:27:28).You can find every episode of this show on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime Members can listen ad-free on Amazon Music. For more, visit barstool.link/PardonMyTake
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Hey, pardon my take listeners, you can find every episode on Apple podcasts, Spotify or YouTube. Prime members can listen ad free on Amazon Music.
Today is part of my take the 2024 NFL Draft. We're going to talk about a wild first round, our new quarterbacks, the Michael Pennex to Falcons decision. We also have some NBA and NHL playoffs to get to.
Had some big, big games on Wednesday and Thursday.
We have an awesome interview with Dan Soder.
Incredible interview.
He came into the studio.
Very, very funny guy.
Talked some sports with him.
And then we will finish with Firefest and the lottery ball.
And it's all brought to you by our friends at DraftKings.
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yours today is friday april 26th and you're listening to a podcast full of winners i'm a
winner now we are winners everything about me is different right now the old me the loser me
now. We are winners. Everything about me is different right now. The old me, the loser me, off a cliff with that guy. This new guy, this new guy doesn't take shit. He has a winning
mentality. Yes. I was saying earlier, if I, if I'm at a restaurant and the waiter brings
out the wrong dish, guess what? I'm going to say, excuse me, sir, I didn't order this.
Can I have the dish that I ordered? Yes. No more just accepting stuff. No more waving
people in and traffic. We have quarterbacks. We have quarterbacks. It's rare to have a moment in time that you can point to and be like, bam, that's where
my whole life changed. That's where everything changed for the better. And PFT, different
guys. We are different guys. We are winners. Now, the only question I have is there's three
of us sitting in this room, Caleb Williams to Bears Jayden Daniels to the commanders Drake made of the Patriots
You and I are very excited super excited. Will you join us Hank and being winners because you are not as excited
It's a long way to go to win a Super Bowl you got to be you know more than just a QB
You got to be a complete team
Patriots despite, you know getting a great quarterback are still you know more than just a QB you got to be a complete team. The Patriots despite you know getting a great quarterback are still you know four and
a half is there over under Wintotal. Is he a great quarterback? Do you think he is a great quarterback?
Because you did your list of quarterbacks last week. He's a top five
quarterback on my list. I like Drake May. I don't know why you're so down on him.
I'm not down on him I just you know. You're down on him. Yeah you are. You're down on him. I just you know down on here you are you're down on like my
That I listen to for my Patriots, you know
Sourcing and knowledge Julian Edelman recurring guest of the show one of the smartest dudes on earth
Yeah, yeah, and Bill Belichick both didn't have the highest praise or you know seemed to like give me a lot of excitement
For Drake May. Yeah, I get that I understand that but you got to be excited. This is I know you're still too new at being a loser
to understand what you just did tonight. I haven't accepted being a loser. Oh, you're
a loser. I know. But like I don't you guys. I don't want to go guys sound like getting
excited for this excited for a draft night is loser. Yeah. Yeah
Welcome buddy. Yep. I'm not I'm not I'm not that excited. I don't know what I can't do Hey, go back watch Drake may highlights tonight. I'm gonna spend all night all day. It's all yoga ball
Oh, so negative all weekend. I like I like I like I'm gonna be watching Jayden Daniels all weekend long
I'm gonna be watching him all summer long I'm gonna be zooming in on his elbow and I'm gonna be watching jaden daniels all weekend long. I'm gonna be watching him all summer long
I'm gonna be zooming in on his elbow and I'm gonna be like look how cool that elbow looks nobody else on planet earth has
An elbow like that. That's awesome. I'm gonna be so pumped
I'm gonna be watching all the games from last year reliving the Heisman campaign big K
You have a Heisman to either has a Heisman too. So Hank Hank was very upset
He's shown me a couple of very mean memes.
Oh, he's doing nasty work on Twitter right now. Retweeting me saying I like Drake May.
I do like Drake May. Also it's called a smoke screen. I never, I never said Drake May was
bad. I, memes are meant to be shared. I laughed at a meme. It was a picture of the 2003 NBA
draft with LeBron, Darko, and then Carmelo Anthony. Oh, hey, Williams, Jane
Daniels, Drake May. I laughed and PFT who said next to me and I was like, Oh, look,
PFT. Remind me who won who won the NBA championship the very next season. The Pistons. Interesting.
So Jacobi reset might maybe taking the Patriots this to the promised land. No, no. The Darko
was me. Oh, you were too. Oh, you were Darko. I was Darko.
It was 123.
Hank was Carmelo.
So you're in on Drake May then?
Yeah.
No, it was just a funny meme.
I'm in on Drake May.
I just, again.
Yeah, he's being nasty.
He's been nasty all night.
Yeah, listen.
He's trying to drag us down with him.
You can't do that.
I mean, let's be honest.
I think you can look at the draft right now if you're reading the grades, which we definitely are read all the grades. I just act. That's a lie. I typed in the search function on Twitter commanders a and then I read all those. So those are the graph trades that I read. I read all of them. But the Bears, their offense is going to be completely different next year. Man, getting wrong paper.
You know what this is? This is the ultimate, this is the ultimate test of how much the
uniforms truly matter because on paper it looks like they should be explosive. Nothing
like any Bears offense that we've seen in probably ever, ever, dude, DJ Moore, Kenan
Allen, Roma Dunze, Cole Comet, Deandre Swift, it's insane.
I don't even know, it's going to be the most foreign experience of my life watching the
Bears being like, they have dudes everywhere that can beat you.
I can't believe Roma Dunze, I mean I guess people were saying he was going to fall in
line, but still when it happened I was just like, holy fuck, this is incredible.
And I'll say to him, Ryan Poles, what he did to the Panthers,
I actually feel bad for the Panthers.
It's gross because they posted now that it's like,
well it's actually not actually official
because we still have a pick in next year's draft
from the Panthers, second rounder.
But DJ Moore, Darnell Wright, Tariq Stevenson, Caleb Williams in
a 20-25 second rounder, and they got Bryce Young.
Yep.
Ryan Poles.
And now Roma do you have a...
David Tepper.
And I love the fact that the Bears, like Ryan Poles is like, listen, we know what the history
is.
We know what's happened with the Bears in the past.
Basically, every quarterback that's ever put on a Bears uniform has been not put in a good
situation to succeed
He's doing everything to make sure that Caleb Williams succeeds and that's getting Roma doons a getting Keenan Allen a veteran receiver
I mean, I I'm like I was elated all day
I was just happy all day ear to ear and then I see Hank just dragging me down. Thank you
No, I'm excited. I'm excited for Drake man. I'm excited for Chicago. I always say it
I want to live in a city where teams are good. The city's excited
I'm excited for you know the Bears and in the city you were you were pumped the other day when you're talking about Drake me
Cuz you gave him the most beautiful nickname
I've ever heard for a quarterback the Mayflower the Mayflower we were we were doing some t-shirt
Brainstorming we will have to figure out it might have to be a number that we have to get like on Spotify
Subscribers to release one of the t-shirts that we had mocked up. It's worse than the Harambe shirt
It's 10 million times worse than the Harambe shirt
It's worse than than Harambe lying dead with bloody bullet holes and Sean McPhay standing next to him
No, Nick Trigg is the artist he does all the cover art. He's best boss and guy. He was the best. He he I've never felt more betrayed than what he did to me
It's a wonderful design. Maybe just everyone go hit this to subscribe on
Spotify because they do have those numbers now. So just keep boosting up and if we get to a certain point
We might have to release this shirt. We might have to put it on sale
It's just say it's Drake May Hank and a lighthouse. That's all we'll say.
Yes, it is. You can figure out what it might look like.
It's such a bad shirt for Hank that we might have to just do a charity with the shirt where it's like all the proceeds go to Hank.
Yeah. For his therapy bills. Hank, I got...
What a draft. What a draft. I'm happy'm happy I'm happy I'm excited we should
all be happy yeah so I thought I thought of is the best part of football so I
saw right after Drake may got drafted I was about to text our good friend Chris
Berman and give him a boomer but I want to give it to you instead Hank and you
can use this one do you want to just say it back to us we'll forget do you want
option one or option two?
Two okay, may the odds be every be ever in your favor. No. No, I was gonna say drink me up I can't drink up
Okay, or one bar. Let's hear one or drink me up before you go go
Okay, it's not bad. Yeah, okay, we've had better Drake may up win December and win September ends
Drake may up win September ends that works. Okay, that was the best one
That's past Drake may up on September and okay, that's one definitely a boomer Drake
May I kill myself because I don't believe in my quarterback Henry Lockwood. No, I believe in him. I I
Believe in him. Yeah. Yeah, sure you sound you sound it's the organization as a whole that you know
It's it's it's gonna be a different time sort of different era. I just gotta get used to it
That's why you also not there yet
You can't take what Belichick said after is like yes
He was probably giving his honest opinion, but you have to believe there's a little bit was way worse
Okay, way way way worse. I'll read it
This was so excited because I agree with it was like if everything's perfect around this guy you build the right ecosystem around this kid
He's got a chance
Lots of room to grow as a player. I think he's still
He's which we as a check if he has a perfect line and a great receivers
He's got a chance and he's terrible now but he's got room to be okay. Listen the good not exactly a ringing endorser. The good news
is there were so many quarterbacks taken at the top of the first round that
there's a lot of potential busts out there you just have to not be in last
place in that group you just have to beat Michael Penis you have to be JJ
McCarthy and you have to be Bo Nix.
Yeah.
Can you do that?
Yeah.
You can do that.
Yeah.
So, we should talk about the rest of the drafts.
I mean, PFT, we, I'm just...
I give...
I'm so excited.
I'd like to say I give the Bears an A+.
I give the Commanders an A+.
Wow.
Hank, what do you give the Patriots?
A+.
Oh, man.
Excitement.
It was a crazy draft though though because we saw a couple things
We've never seen before there was the first
14 picks were offense. So you didn't get a defensive player to a number 15. You also had
Six court five quarterbacks in the first 12 picks, which has never been done. It was insane
So it really started I feel like the draft went
pretty much true to form. The first four picks were scripted essentially. Marvin Harrison
Jr., I love that there was even an idea that they weren't going to take him. People were
trying to say, oh, Marvin Harrison Jr., Malik Neighbors is actually better. Marvin Harrison
Jr. has been the best wide receiver in this class since he was like 12 years old.
Yeah, Malik Neighbors is awesome.
Awesome.
He's really, really good.
In fact, I was thinking about just coming out
with a take that Malik Neighbors and who's
the other wide receiver from LSU drafted top 10?
Brian Thomas.
Brian Thomas.
Not top 10.
Not top 10.
Close to it.
That they were only good in college
because of Jaden Daniels, but I couldn't even bring myself to type that out. But it might be something I go back to.
Yeah. Why not? Try it on. And then we had Joe Alt at five to the Chargers. People were
saying, oh, the Chargers need a wide receiver because they've traded Kenan Allen, cut Mike
Williams. Justin Herbert has no one to throw to. Well, Jim Harbaugh had the quote of the
night when he said, I know the question is going to come up about weapons. We look at no one to throw to. Well, Jim Harbaugh had the quote of the night
when he said, I know the question is
gonna come up about weapons,
we look at offensive linemen as weapons.
Yep, yep.
He likes big bodies.
He likes big dudes to wrestle with,
he likes physical people.
Shout out Joe Alt in that picture of him
in his living room, he's just massive.
Joe Alt looks like the world's biggest eight year old.
Yeah, just massive human being. A perfect offensive lineman. I'm sure that Harbaugh eight year old. Yeah, just massive. A perfect
offensive lineman. Yeah. I'm sure that that hardball will be creative with how it uses
them. Yeah. So then we had Malik neighbors go to the giants, which Dana Jones is throwing
to him. Yep. Okay. Uh, JC Latham going to the Titans. They're beefing up their offensive
line back to back years because they got Skronsky last year. And then I think that was a pick made by maybe the first pick ever made by a head coach's
dad.
Yeah, true.
Where Callahan was like, you give me this guy.
Yeah, I want this guy.
And then everything went crazy because the Atlanta Falcons, who, if you remember, signed
Kirk Cousins to $180 million deal, what, like a month and a half ago? Selected
Michael Pennex Jr. with the eighth pick and we had their GM look alive looking like he
was trying to explain to Arthur Smith or Arthur Blank what exactly was happening. Crazy. It
makes, even if you wanted to get, like even if you, if you're the Falcons, you're
like, you know what, let's do the Packers type of situation where we draft a guy behind
a guy and we're like, we're going to let him sit for a couple of years.
Michael Penich Jr. is old and Jajan McCarthy is young.
Yeah.
And if you sit him for two years, he's going to be Brandon Wheaton.
And then quarterback rookie deals, first round deals are four years. There's a fifth year option
on there. Kirk Cousins, his deal is currently four years. Yeah. So there's a, here's the thing about
that move is that there's about eight reasons why it doesn't make sense. Yeah. It makes,
it makes zero sense to do it. Now, if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out, but like,
when is he going to start? Is he going to sit for two years and if he's a great quarterback, cool. I hope it pans out. But like, when is
he going to start? Is he going to sit for two years? And then he's going to play? Why
use such a high pick for this? You could have probably gotten him in the second round.
It was so baffling for them to do that. And well, they had an all time spin zone. So our
friend Diana Rossini, okay, contacted the Falcons and their spin zone was Kirk Cousins is such a good quarterback
that they're not going to be in a position to draft a good quarterback over the next
four years.
That's smart.
So since he's, Kirk Cousins is almost too good at playing quarterback because he's so
good that he's going to ruin your team forever.
So you had to get your QB too now.
That's exactly what happened with Hank's Patriots where Tom Brady was so good at playing quarterback that they weren't able to ever draft good quarterbacks. Yeah and they did
draft quarterbacks they didn't draft him with the eighth pick. They didn't draft him with the eighth
pick. And the... What was Mac Jones? It's very funny. Mac Jones... No well that was after Tom
Brady though. Yeah yeah. Yeah yeah I'm saying like the the the Patriots did draft Jimmy Garoppolo as
an heir apparent but it wasn't with the eight right right and
Yeah, I mean it's crazy even Jordan love
He was in the 20s. He was in 20s and also Aaron Rodgers
Was trying to bring up he had just he well
He did probably just signed a contract extension because he would just break up and then sign a contract either way
It makes no sense. It's crazy. Kirk Cousins was blindsided
The report came out that the Falcons called him two minutes before the pick.
I actually feel bad for Kirk Cousins.
Not so, so bad because he still gets $180 million or whatever it's going to be guaranteed.
Because if Michael Pennex turns out to be good in practice and all these things and
wows him, I would imagine he's going to start either next year or two years from now or three years. They'll cut Kirk Cousins.
It's over 100 mil guaranteed. The full contract is 180.
I don't feel bad for him because he's still got that money, but that does suck to sign
with somewhere and then have them draft someone with the eighth pick. I just don't understand
what the Falcons are thinking. They have gone the last four years, they went
Drake London, they went Kyle Pitts, they went Bijan, and they went a backup quarterback
with their all in the top 10. That's crazy. It's weird. It's nuts.
And every Falcons fan out there was like, what the fuck are we doing right now? This
makes, it makes no sense to do. But if he ends up being a good quarterback, then no
one's going to care.
And they'll be like, great job by the Falcons.
I still think you could have probably traded down.
Probably could have traded down a lot for him.
Probably could have waited a little bit.
But it was a crazy run on quarterbacks because then we had-
I think it got started though because of the Falcons.
Yeah.
I don't know that he would have been off the board if you had traded back until like the
mid teens or early 20s.
I agree.
I agree. And then Roma Dunze to the Bears,
which I couldn't be more excited about.
They're already best friends, which is awesome.
And J.J. McCarthy then goes to the Vikings.
Vikings traded 10 times, it felt like.
Yeah.
J.J. McCarthy goes to the Vikings.
Seemed like they were eyeing him for a while.
They only had to trade up one spot in that trade. Then they
traded up again with the Jaguars later on in the draft. And then you had Fashanu and
then Bo Nix, which I think Bo Nix is also one where I'm scratching my head being like,
why would the Broncos take him at 12?
Maybe they were worried that the Raiders were going to get him. But also since it's Bo Nix,
maybe you kind of want the Raiders were going to get them. But also since it's Bo Nix, maybe you kind of want the Raiders to have them.
Well, here's a good sign of is a team maybe reaching on their draft pick. Diana Racini
did some good reporting about the spin zone for the Falcons. Adam Schefter went into full,
full spin zone for the Broncos. He fired off some tweets. I'm going to read them to you,
but it was essentially like, hey, Adam, we're going to get killed for taking Bo Nicks at 12. Can
you do us a solid please? He started it with Sean Payton wanted and intended to draft Patrick
Mahomes in the 2017 draft when he held the 11th overall pick. He was ready to turn in
the card, but before he could, the Chiefs trade up to the bill spot at number 10, took
Mahomes one spot before Payton got him, leaving the Saints to draft Ohio State cornerback
Marshawn Latimore. Peyton feels as strongly about Bo Nicks as he did Patrick Mahomes.
It's wild that so many teams were going to draft Patrick Mahomes. There's like six different
head coaches that are saying, you know, I had his name written down on the card. We're
ready to go with Mahomes. But apparently Sean Payton was actually going to do it. And
Schefter made sure to include that little nugget in there.
He felt as strongly about Bo Nix as he did Patrick Mahomes. Uh, and then we had this
one. So that was just the first one to set it up like, Hey, listen guys, Bo Nix and Patrick
Mahomes are actually in the same sentence here. Uh, the next one was Bronco center Alex
Forsyth, uh, who played with Knicks at Oregon before
Denver drafted him in the seventh round last year raved to Denver's coaches about his former
college quarterback. Forsyth told the Broncos coaches that Knicks is smart, knows every
protection, handles it all at the line of scrimmage and had the universal respect of
the entire team. So Sean Payton taking draft strategy from his center.
Did you hear about the fact that they brought Bo Nicks in
for a workout, they gave him some plays.
Oh, this is the last tweet, this is Schefter.
He literally just, he spent like a thousand characters
on the Broncos.
This one might be my favorite one.
Yeah, so he said Denver held a private workout
with Bo Nicks the day after his pro day.
The night before the workout, the Broncos sent Nicks
three packets of offensive play installation.
And the next morning, as they worked in the classroom with Nicks, he crushed it, per a Broncos sent Knicks three packets of offensive play installation. And the next morning as they worked in the classroom with Knicks, he crushed it per Broncos source. The Broncos,
this is all just coming from Sean Payton. The Broncos then took Knicks from the classroom
to the field, watched him throw for an hour and were convinced they had a quarterback
they wanted.
So, so what happened was they gave him all the information and then he stayed up all
night being like, all I have to do is make one team fall in love with me.
Correct.
And then he just memorized that, came in.
They're like, wow, I can't believe that this guy is able to absorb all this stuff.
The best cram session ever.
If you need that many tweets and that many words to say we took a quarterback at 12 that
seems like a big reach.
Brodniks is, I know the lines don't really matter.
Brodniks is over under was 32 and a half to
be drafted. Like it was a, it was a real conversation. Would he dip into the second round? They
took them 12.
Yeah. Schefter was laying on pretty thick there. I wonder if that was a favorite called
in by Sean Payton or not, or if that's just Schefter trying to get some scoops in the
future. But that's, that's pretty far for even Adam to go in terms of running PR for
somebody and Bo Nix earlier, I think it was earlier this season
we were talking about him.
And we said some team is going to fall in love with him,
and they're going to take him in the first or second round.
And there are just not going to be teams that watched him play
that much throughout college.
Obviously he had a good year this year, a really good year.
But it's just teams got desperate.
Maybe teams are thinking ahead to next season too.
Maybe they're looking at the quarterback class next year
and they're like, well, we might as well get one this year.
I don't know.
It was just weird.
It felt like a reach.
It just felt like teams are like, we need a quarterback.
I mean, it happens every year.
I've watched my team do it where it's like,
you need a quarterback.
We gotta take a quarterback.
Let's get a quarterback right now.
Yeah, and it does make you feel excited.
Oh, of course.
Well, I don't know. I have one of my good friends. Oh yeah, Hank, you feel excited.
He's a Broncos fan and he's not excited. Not happy about this. I would say not excited.
The side by side pictures of Zach Wilson and Bo Nicks are also very funny. Sean Payton has a type.
Yes. He's got a type. He does. And then, which was crazy. So because of the flurry of quarterbacks,
Brock Bowers, who is an incredible
tight end and should have probably been a top 10 pick, goes 13 to the Raiders.
Brock Bowers is going to have a great career.
Brock Bowers has to figure out something with that hair.
Got to figure out something with the hair.
Also, he pulled a max.
Did you see that?
No.
Yeah, when he got drafted, the cameras in the living room hit a dog right in front of
him.
Wouldn't pet his dog. Oh no.
I dinged him a little bit for that.
I also, if we're talking about draft room or living rooms, Olufashanu's girlfriend
getting boxed out was so funny.
Yeah, she was reaching over.
She got-
She was reaching over mom.
Mom was just, it was textbook just getting the leverage on the girlfriend being like,
you're not getting any of this right now.
Yeah.
You got to have rules for the girlfriend.
There's always one or two that end up going viral because they're trying to be too involved
in the family, or sometimes there's a screenshot that lives on, Russell Wilson.
You got to have rules for a girlfriend, a college girlfriend.
Unless there's a ring on it, you need to have at least two people in between you and that
person, family members, close family members. Yeah. I need to have at least two people in between. Yeah that person family members close
Yeah, yeah, it's I mean those those living rooms are always so funny
I always just respect like there's always one guy in the back who just knows his role perfectly just whooping it up usually gets
The hat on faster than anyone else. Yeah, and he's not trying to get close. He's not trying to do a hug
He's just he's there knowing exactly he's he's, look, I'm number 14 on the depth chart.
He's a hype man.
I'm good.
Yeah, we're-
I'm good to be in the room.
We're a clock around your neck.
Yeah, all right, and then what else in the first round
do we think was remarkable?
Congrats on Quinian Mitchell, Max.
You were very excited about him.
A plus grade in my book.
Toledo.
Toledo, best corner in the draft.
I've only heard great things. I have great tape watching Mac shin about him. He's a great guy. I mean Nick Saban said it best
He's like I wanted to get that guy out of the transfer portal
But we couldn't get him to go into the transfer portal to get out of the transfer portal
So he doesn't sound like tampering to me pretty pretty much saying like we
We told him to come to Alabama like we would take him and he was like no
I want to be I want to be a Mac guy.
So yeah I mean I feel like it's a it's good value right?
That's what you were saying earlier.
That's I mean that's what everyone was saying.
You had him very very high on your board.
Yeah most people did I think he most people thought he was the best corner in the draft
and then the the report was the Eagles were gonna trade up to 12 with the Broncos because
the Broncos thought that they could have got Bo Nicks at the Eagles spot.
But we didn't even have to.
They took Bo Nicks there.
We took Quinney Mitchell at our spot and everyone got what they wanted.
First time taking the corner in the draft since 2002 in the first round for the Eagles.
Is that right?
Sure.
That makes sense to me.
So Howie must have liked them.
Yeah, no, definitely.
Howie's cooking.
Position of need.
The other head scratching move in the first round came at the very end with the Chiefs
trading with the Bills.
The Bills traded their pick to the Chiefs who moved up and everyone knew what was going
to happen.
Everyone knew.
We knew weeks in advance something, some bullshittery like this was gonna happen.
The Chiefs move up, in my opinion,
that's worse than trading inside the division,
is the Bills trading with the Chiefs.
It's way worse.
They're the ones, after you get out of your division,
that are stopping you from getting to the Super Bowl,
they need a receiver, they got not only a receiver,
they got the fastest receiver
in the history of
the NFL combine. Yeah. Yeah. So if you're worthy is I mean with him, him with my homes,
why'd you let them do that? Congratulations to the Chiefs on winning the Super Bowl. They
won another Super Bowl. They did. They did. Yeah. And it's okay to say that. It's okay
to admit it. They just want to the Super Bowl. He's probably going to be like, he's probably going to go for 120 and a touchdown in the Super Bowl. Yeah. I'm thinking like
a, maybe a, maybe like a 60 yard bomb. Second half. Yeah. 60 yard bomb. Yeah. They're down
by three. Yeah. Down by three at half. Yeah. Down by three at half and four minutes left
in the third quarter. 64 yard touchdown pass. Yeah. What was the reason for this draft anyway?
With a flag and the flag doesn't matter.
Yeah.
No, it's, it's going to be the chiefs again.
This was such a crazy, crazy thing to happen that everybody knew was going to
happen, but it still did.
And, uh, I credit to the chiefs.
I mean, what else can you say?
Like they, they're able to, they, they worked the Tyree kill situation out pretty
well, I'd say you had the best receiver in the NFL, worked the Tyree kill situation out pretty well. Yeah.
I'd say.
You had the best receiver in the NFL, arguably, in Tyree kill.
Instead of paying him, you let him walk and you're like, we'll find somebody else.
Yeah, you found a faster version of Tyree kill.
It's crazy.
It's crazy.
Also, I thought the Lions picked, because they traded up to get Tarion Arnold.
And that is just very cool to have a guy drafted in front of
the entire city he's going to play in. Yeah. And they were hyped for that. They're very
hyped for it. It was a good, it was a good first round. It was, I mean, I loved this
first round. This is the first round. I'm hoping that I can look back on and be like,
I'll be watching a 30 for 30 and 40 years and be like, remember that draft night? That's
what I'm thinking. Yeah. I really haven't been this excited about a quarterback since RG 3's rookie year.
In the next three years, yes. Will all five teams, including the Eagles and Jets,
make the playoffs have made the playoffs? Next three years?
How many out of five? Four out of five. I don't know which four.
I think I'm leaning the Jets not making it.
I think the Bears will.
The Bears are going to make the playoffs this year.
I don't know if the Patriots will.
Don't quote me on that.
Yeah, I don't know why you're saying Patriots over Jets.
I'm trying to boost up Hank because he's so he's such a.
I've had Hank himself would say I've had one of the best days of my life
I'm going based off and Hank is just he's just looking at him. Just trying to drag me down
Yeah, he's nasty worse gaslighting nasty. No, I think I'm being self aware about
He walked in when Drake may got drafted he walked in he just had a frown I was just like what's up like aren't you excited? He's like whatever based on his analysis of Drake may that's what I'm going off of I'm trying to gas up Hank the draft
Nick I'm not used to being a loser in these situations. I'm not a draft person. I'm I trust the process
I trust to trust the crafts if it were me if I was a GM
I'm taking the best player at a position not the third best player to position would you rather have JJ?
No, he wanted Marvin Harrison. Yeah, no, but it it would rather have JJ than Drake if they traded down and took JJ. I'd be cool with that
Yeah, that's kind of the same thing to me
Drake might be good. Yeah, he's got a fucking big arm
He can make all the throws. You can make all throws. He also
Let me let me boost you up a little here Hank. He was playing on a very bad team this past year
Like very very bad
I'm not I'm not I don't want to sound like a drigma hater. I'm not I just you're just not excited
I'm not optimistic. You know yeah about this up where I'm like counting
I'm counting Super Bowls the Bears are gonna get the stadium get a Super Bowl and the planet. Oh
I like that
What would that be because the stadium won't be till like
2030. So it'd be what? Like 2030? Yeah, I think so. Takes a while to build a state.
It would be like third or fourth Super Bowl for Kale Williams. Swan song. What? He's retiring
at 2030? Well, they're going to get the first year at stadium. Oh yeah. True. True. True.
All right. So like 30, 30, 40, 30 20 31. I would like him to play longer than that
I'm hoping this is a 15 20 year marriage that I just entered into
Can you hoping my entire life changes? Yeah, I'm hoping literally like I look at this point. I'm like dude remember that day
Everything after that day was incredible. Can you imagine we're gonna be
You could be 55 and Caleb might be retiring
listen Can you imagine we're going to be, you could be 55 and Caleb might be retiring. Listen, I'm like, Mike, I'm hoping that it's just like my kids are like, this is, you know,
Caleb Williams, just they grew up with Caleb Williams.
Yeah.
In our household.
And it's just Caleb Williams all the time.
And Roma Juntae and Kenan Allen.
Well, he's gonna be older.
And DJ Moore and Cole Com comment. I'm super excited
I'm so excited. We got our G for also another
Another thing Schefter did he he tweeted out a link to buy jaden Daniels jersey
Yeah, like a direct link to the store. Does he get does he get paid to do that?
He probably gets a little shifter are the commanders paying Adam Schefter to promote their team's merch
He's that that's a weird. That's a weird dynamic. Yeah reporter to have but it worked. I clicked on it
I ordered Jane Daniels Jersey right off the bat
I don't know what's gonna happen with so the bad news is good news bad news
Trust way is gonna have to change his number. Yeah from number five. What numbers are you curious gonna be?
Ah, it's gonna be number five trust way my trust way number five Jersey will have to be retired
I'll have to get a new one, but that's fine. That's a price
I'll pay as a fan for that, but he's gonna be number five just like he was in college
Yeah, okay Williams gonna be Kyle Orton's Jersey number 18 because Keenan Allen is 13. He said actually on the red carpet
He was like Keenan Allen's been in the league for a very long time respect. That's a great teammate move
He was 13 his entire college career. Just remember that number.
So, Kayla is 18.
He's 18 now. Remember 13, that number for some random reason at the end of the show.
We taped the Fire Fest. We taped Fire Fest in the afternoon at two o'clock, just so we're
clear. Hank trying to bring me down yet again
we're talking cute it will all come together and folks we all understand it
big cat did you take your nail polish off there were press-ons okay all right
so hard to type I don't know I don't know how women do it no there's a lot of
stuff they do what was that girl's name? We had to shut up
Mcculkey Mcculkey
Okay, look my colky look
Fuck it was a unique name
Malik she came up to us in Detroit She's like you you guys can you guys talk more like every now and then some more girls stuff and we're like yes
We will and next time we do we'll shout out your name and it's been 24 hours. We forgot her name
And we're like yes, we will and next time we do we'll shout out your name, and it's been 24 hours We forgot her name
Milky yes milky
So anyway milky. I don't know how you guys wear nails like that
It is so hard all my respect to it to shout out all the women out there who have the nails
Because I couldn't do anything. Yeah, I was trying to eat. It's not wipe my ass. I was trying to type couldn't do anything
It's cuz women use a lot of cocaine, so they have the long nails for that.
That is exactly what it is.
But yeah, shout out McCulkey.
That's why they're so skinny.
So hopefully she's doing the Leo meme in the car right now,
and she's like, what the fuck?
Yeah, she's-
This guy's butchered my name, it's so bad.
It's Leo except with extended nails.
Yeah, and it's like, but that's not actually my name?
Yeah.
All right, any other draft stuff?
Oh memes, how are you feeling?
Jets?
Feeling good. We got we got a big boy and he's as Mac said he's the best lineman in the draft
Yeah, yeah, yeah
According to whose grades Max okay
That's the thing though. That's the beauty all you can do is find one grade
Mm-hmm find one person who liked him more than everyone else
Yep, and you're like boom memes just search for New York Jets a grade
And then you'll be happy all night you'll get to read all the massive human. He is big
He just adds to the offensive line
Yeah, and you know what even if you're not happy with your draft anybody out there that might be
Questioning who they took who they could have taken at least you're not the Falcons yeah and if you are a Falcons fan I apologize because you are very much
the Falcons this might have been I would actually say this is the most Falcons
move of all time it really is in a long history of being the Falcons this is this
is the tops and and how do you think it feels right now to be Arthur blank and
just thinking like man I wish I hadn't picked
up that phone call from Robert Kraft yeah like if I had a job Ella check
there's zero percent chance he would have taken Michael Pettix yeah so the
Falcons let me get this straight they have an old injury prone quarterback
which makes total sense that they would pair him with a guy like Kirk Cousins.
Yes, exactly.
Got it.
Got it.
Exactly.
Also, there were some funny memes going around.
There was, I saw one, it was a dog just pissing all over the kitchen and it was like the Falcons
drafting a left-handed quarterback named Michael.
All the dogs in Atlanta right now.
That's not, that was a funny meme.
That's all it was.
We have no evidence that Michael Penex beats dogs and fights them recreationally.
Does not. I have not heard-
What I'm saying right now does not.
On all the red flags, all the weaknesses that I've seen on the pre-draft scouting reports,
I didn't see that Michael Penex has electrocuted a pit bull.
And this does suck for Michael Penex. I know that it's great because of the money and he's the eighth pick, but when you become
the Falcons are the laughing stock of round one and he gets lumped into it, I say this
all the time, these guys don't get to decide where they're drafted.
They don't get to decide which team picks them.
I'm rooting for Michael Penick.
I want him to do well because it would be great if he was great and the Falcons would be like, see, we did the right thing even though they didn't
because they could have traded down and got him later, but we did the right thing. We
got our guy.
Yeah. It is funny though, it's seeing everybody's so concerned about Kirk Cousins. Like I hope
Kirk's doing okay.
Oh, the NFL network, our guy DJ and Rapport were essentially like Kirk Cousins life just
shattered.
This is tragic for Kirk Cousins. I think Kirk's
going to be okay. I think he's going to be fine. Maybe they tried to call his agent.
Maybe diamond encrusted cell phones get bad reception because his agent is rich as fuck
and probably doesn't need to pick up the phone anymore. He's going to be 36 in August Kirk
Cousins. Yeah. He signed a four year deal. It sucks that you were maybe not lied to,
but told that you were, you know, they weren't going to draft someone in the first round
at quarterback, but that also is the NFL.
I'm looking forward to seeing the post-mortem on how this all happened because you would
think that in the free agent process, when they're talking to Kirk, they wouldn't have
been like so all in on them if they knew all along that their plan was to draft a quarterback with their top
10 pick.
Right.
I think it's probably going to end up being something like, we didn't see this coming,
but we just kind of fell in love.
We don't know how Michael Pennex fell all the way to eight.
Yeah.
I think they're just going to say we truly fell in love with this person.
I honestly, if I were the Atlanta Falcons PR team I would just come out with the most ridiculous story and just be like believe it or don't
No one would believe it be like we got confused. We thought we're picking 18
Yeah, even still even if this was the 18th pick and they had taken the pennix that would be a wild move
It was crazy. It was a crazy draft first round
RG 3 is probably pretty psyched to see Kirk Cousins having a backup drafted on draft night right in front of his face.
Yeah. That's true. Yeah. He's seen it. I was saying he might call Mike Glennon. Mike Glennon
famously left the Bears draft party when they drafted Trebesky. Now, Mike Glennon's a little
different than Kirk Cousins in the fact that if an organization says, Mike Glennon, you're
our starter, Mike Glennon should be
like, what's the catch?
Kirk, her cousin's actually is a really good player.
The funny thing is like, Kirk is probably the best equipped starting quarterback to
handle something like this.
Yeah.
Like he's probably, he's going to say very nice things and he's going to say, I'm looking
forward to working with this guy.
The more good talent you can have in the quarterback room.
He's going to say all the right things
He might even mean all the right things but there's some deep deep down inside part of him
That's gonna be like well this fucking sucks. Yeah, it's kind of similar
I mean Jalen hurts was a second round. Yeah, but it was the same. Yeah, really. Yeah, it happens
This is what happens in the NFL. Yeah, everyone we paid Carson went to shit ton of money
Got a backup quarterback. Yeah. We paid Carson Wentz a shit ton of money. Got a backup quarterback. He's got a lot of
draft capital on him. I think Kirk Cousins is better than Carson Wentz, but. I would agree. I mean even Russ, Russ going to Pittsburgh.
Team friendly deal.
Quote-unquote, but then Justin Fields gets traded there, you know, a month later
he's gonna, that is gonna be an option for them pretty quickly. Is there any chance that... Zach Wilson.
That that is gonna be an option for them pretty quickly. Is there any chance that Wilson any chance that Wilson gets traded? Could we hear the it's truly going to be an open competition line?
No, I doubt it. I feel like that there's no way they could do they have to tell Kirk that it's his job
Yeah, they have to they have to have but it's a first-round pick. It's a top-10 pick
Yeah at some point in the next couple years
You're gonna want to see what you have there. Right. And it also now Kirk Cousins
has to deal with the fact that like if he gets injured or misses a game, that could
be it. Yeah. That every time every single time. And Michael Pinnix isn't getting younger.
Yeah. No, he's not. None of us are. All right. Let's talk some NBA and NHL before we do that.
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bite is better with Pepsi. That's a fact. That is a fact. Okay. Celtics heat one one.
Oh, I thought that they weren't going to lose any games this round. Yeah, I got to I got
to we were we were maybe looking ahead to the Nuggets
Trying to find a way to stop the Nuggets
After the game one of the Bruins in the Celtics I made a mistake and I'm here to admit and moving forward
Say that I will no longer be cocky. I've given up being cocky. What wait Max? It. It's the playoffs. Yeah. Hank's happy weekend.
Really? I think it set you back actually. I, I, yeah, I got way too ahead of myself.
It's an absolute grind to make it just to make it to the finals, just to make it to
the next round of the playoffs. It's a grind. You got to earn every win. I was way too cocky.
So are we stopping thinking about how to stop the Nuggets? I know, but.
Oh, you're not.
Hank has an advanced scouts department.
Yeah, well, I'm watching all the I'm watching all I'm watching all the Western Conference
games and I'm zeroed in the Nuggets.
Their problem to the Nuggets are a serious, serious, serious, serious problem.
So it's like they won last year.
Championship or Bust is no longer.
It's just wait.
When this series and then let's
win the next series whoa the next series whoa I'm not focused on the nuggets I'm
not focused on the Western Conference I'm just focused on Saturday against the
you can't change championship or bust that's that's a bust you series or boss
and then it's series or bust and then it's series or but okay every series is
a series or boss but championship or bust was said many times leading into these playoffs and that was old me and now I'm know that was cocky me
Okay, that's alright. So guys can change and I'm no longer cocky. Uh
What do we think about the Celtics just not guarding anyone shooting three-pointers? Yeah, it was a weird defensive strategy
I mean the heat were obviously they blacked out They hit the most three but franchise history, but they do that they that was the most threes
They've ever hit they don't do that every game. They're not gonna do that every day, but last year
We the same thing happened in the in that series
We were like they're not gonna shoot this well again, and then they shot that well again by the way max you missed it
You you missed it hanks Hank his Hank has retired cocky Hank I don't
believe that he's retired hockey cocky Hank forever no that's that's who he is
as a person no he claims that he's been momentarily humbled by the heat momentary
heat culture and so he's he's going back Max listen this as much shit why we maybe
don't fucking miss the podcast
Maybe pay attention and do your job. You wouldn't miss it
We're not doing like this isn't a show catered to max you should have been here the first time in six hours last week
Hank I was checking an ad thing
No, wait, but Max I I wanted to just inform you of some another. He's gonna listen to it in 20 minutes
Then Hank was yeah, okay fine
Yeah, listen to it later, and then tell me what you think of what Hank's saying
about this entire turning of a new leaf.
Because you've been a guy, Max, that we've said,
is this a must-win game?
And we've jumped down your throat,
when you say that it isn't and then you lose.
With Hank, he's taking back,
he's rescinding championship or bust.
You can't do that.
He cannot do that. We're not in the championship, we're in a series. No,'s rescinding championship or bust you can't do that he cannot do that
We're not in the championship. We're in a series
No, but series is a series of us before the playoffs multiple when we get to the if if we are oh
Hockey Hank came out for a second less enough to make it to the championship series that series will also be a series or bust
Okay, now right now
It's just series or bust and then the next, if we are lucky enough to advance past this round, we'll be a series
or bust. I have a question for you, Hank. Yes. Uh, okay. So you did say just now, uh,
the heat can't shoot that well again. Correct. Uh, I have a stat for you. Miami has four playoff games in the past two seasons with 50% shooting
from three all against Boston. No other team has more than one against anyone. So when
you say it can't happen again, it's literally just keeps happening.
Yeah, maybe it is. The Heat are a good team and we just gotta come out and play play good
defense hopefully coach Mazula is gonna make some adjustments. Poor Zingas played horrible.
He played like dog shit. Tatum didn't have the best second half. Defense gotta pick it
up. We have we have the tools necessary. We adjustments game three is a must win game
three. I am hoping that they blow them out. Otherwise, I will be
Pulling not not pressing it, but I will
The panic button will appear. It's gonna it's gonna be so funny if they win the series the Celtics
We just can't we can't be in a spot where we're fighting the heat
like if we're again if I was cocky and I was thinking about the finals like
You gotta just get through the heat with no Rosier and
no Butler. Like it's just gotta be a 3-1-4-0.
They can't keep shooting 50% from three.
They can't hit a franchise record for threes every game. It's not gonna happen.
They've done it four times in the last.
But only once this year.
Right, but last year if we went back.
They had Jimmy Butler last year.
You would have been like the Jimmy Butler known three point sniper.
Yeah.
If you guys win four games to one, you're gonna get back to cocky hang out so fast Hank
What do you think about this? I still should be cocky. Yeah, what do you it is kind of lame that Hank?
I handed this at the very first time
One game is game for you know with the series
You guys lost in a historic shooting performance by the heat well no something you hold on it'll never happen
again they set a franchise record because you're not on the floor I was
talking about a fucking franchise record not the I 50% your little stat nobody
I mean but hey they keep shooting great from three against you Hank I need I'm
I was talking about that stand up for yourself franchise record Hank stand up
really you spent six months saying it was championship or bust,
and at the very first sign
where you're slightly uncomfortable,
you're like, oh, I have to reevaluate
my whole line of thinking.
Is that line of thinking what got you this far?
No, it's just you realize it's all, you know,
this is the regular season,
the postseason is the start of the season,
and now we gotta focus, we gotta lock in. You can't just, you know, you can't assume a putt's
going in. You got to see it through. You got to see the ball go through the hoop. You got
to just one game at a time, one series at a time, series or bust, series or bust, series
or bust equals championship.
What was the franchise record? The amount of threes they hit?
Yeah. They had 24 threes.
23 threes.
They did shoot really well.
But they... They shot really well, but they
They shot really well, that's all I'm saying four times fifty percent I mean twenty three threes and the Celtics shot twenty less threes than they did the first game
They got to shoot more three. They got out, you know, supposed to expose our coach Missoula in game two
Yeah, he culture. I don't know I don't think
Yeah, because it's the heat. It's it's by PTSD get back to Yeah. Heat culture. I don't know why you're worried. Yeah, you got that.
Because it's the heat.
It's IPDSD.
Get back to cocky Hank.
I don't, I don't, I, I.
They don't have their two best players.
But last year was the same thing.
Big Cat's right, last year I said every single game
was like, that's not gonna happen again.
They're not gonna shoot that well again.
And then they. That's not gonna happen again.
Then they were down 3-0, and then we lost.
Are you worried that you're 11 and 13 at home since the 2022 playoffs
Yeah, I didn't know that that's bad
It is beautiful moment though cuz cuz max is gassing Hank up come on come on
Come on Hank you guys are really got this Hank. You know I don't know it's just this this is crazy
It's it like the Sixers had no problem with the heat
You put one game. I mean so there's a no problem with them in one game. That's what I'm saying
I'm on your side here like the heat aren't good
They had one good game and all the stuff like the Celtics are the best team of all time
That's anyone's everything that's anything anyone's been saying who?
Everyone everyone in the NBA. It's like this is the most deep NBA team of all time
Everyone's been saying championship or bust for these guys
This is one game to the heat without terror without fucking Jimmy Butler or Terry Rozier and all of a sudden
It's like we just got to take it one game. It's the fuck agree. You're gonna win by 20
And it's like we just got to take it one game. It's the fucking you're gonna win by 20
I honestly it's pissing me off. Yeah, you're being a bitch Yeah, you know what this is this is this is again Hank being a product of having such a winning childhood and youth
Where it's like he can't separate his teams when one team does bad
Then he takes it out he goes home to the Patriots and takes it out on his
family. I didn't know how this was going to go. I did not know. I did not expect this.
This is the craziest turn of events. This is why you don't like to make mazes because
Hank doesn't like the Drake may pick because the Celtics lost last night. I sounded more
cocky about the Sixers when we were down to the Knicks. Get, I don't care about you Mac
Get fucking up off the mat Hank I'm off the mat I'm focused on the next game and then I'll be focused on the next game and the next game and then if we win those
Games I'll be focused on the next series and then that will be a series or bust and
That's how you win championships just game at a time focused and statistically speaking
They're only gonna shoot 50% from three three more times in this series
You're talking about focus and taking we just have to shoot more threes Hank. What are you personally gonna do differently?
I'm not gonna get ahead of myself. I'm not gonna worry about the nuggets
I'm just gonna what happens if you win by 40 on front Saturday, then we're gonna have to win by 40 again on Monday
Oh, come on, but Hank you already admitted that you're you're paying close attention to the Nuggets. Old me.
That's night.
Yeah, but that series is already over. It doesn't matter. The Nuggets played tonight after the day after you lost that game.
So when did you make this change?
It was last night. It was last night. I think it was Bill Belichick talking badly about. Yeah. Drake May is what made you
turn into a loser. No it was the heat. It was it was I was having flat it was honestly it was
Jalen Brown missed two free throws in the first quarter then Jason Tatum is two free throws in the fourth quarter
And I just got flashbacks to the Warriors series. I got flashbacks to the heat series from last year
And I was like fuck this team has like
Free throws their free. You have to focus, you know, you can't focus on being the best team in the world. You just
have to, they're free for a reason. Make your free throws, win the game, do what you're
supposed to do. Don't overcomplicate it. That's it.
Okay. So we mentioned nuggets there. Um, I mean, I, this is the funniest thing ever now.
It's just every single game. The Lakers came out and were up 10 after the first quarter and the Nuggets won doesn't matter
Yoko, Chum was had a triple double. It doesn't matter. I think he had like 24 15 and 9. Yes
It's so funny and people are gonna still be like
The Lakers are a really tough team the Nuggets ran into they played a really competitive sweep
They had four guys with over 20 points.
It's so fucking funny. How many, I don't understand. Like, will anyone, anyone who picked the Lakers
stand up and be like, hey, maybe the nuggets are really good.
Yeah, they're so good. Aaron Gordon had 29 tonight.
He was all over the place. So yeah, that series.
Yeah, you know what? I kind of hope the Lakers win one game.
Yeah, and just so we can be like, look, they're making progress in in in 10 years from now, they'll get to a game seven.
They even had a good game from the role player that we said
they needed to step up was Austin Reeves. Yeah, 22. Well,
D'Angelo Russell had had zero points. He was didn't have a
point. He looked like he
Something was actually wrong with him because he missed his first two shots
He they were as close to an air ball as you could get. Yeah, they're bad. He looked like he had Bell's palsy. Yeah who?
Joe and beads so we have to talk about the Knicks actually he looked no
He looked like he definitely didn't have yeah balls because that might be a PED. Yeah, that's true
So the Knicks six Sixers, Sixers win game three.
Joel Embiid was incredible.
How many do you score?
You score 50?
50.
50.
He also was maybe the dirtiest player I've ever seen on a basketball court.
We've watched Draymond Green.
Okay.
Well, Joel Embiid basically did Draymond Green's like, you know. Finishing move. Yeah, career highlights watched Draymond Green. Okay. Well, Joe and B basically did Draymond Green's
like, you know, finishing move. Yeah. Career highlights in one game he did. He, the play
on Mitchell Robinson, when he tried to grab him by the legs, uh, that was, that should
have been an ejection. And then he kicked Mitchell Robinson in the nuts. He kicked,
uh, he need Isaiah Hardenstein in the, in the nuts. What was up he kneed Isaiah Hardenstein in the nuts. What was up
with him?
The Hardenstein one, people were, that wasn't it.
Dude, he elevated his knee into his nuts.
He was trying to get around him to get to the, that one was a basketball play. The other
two were not.
Okay.
That I, I said it.
What do you say? I mean, look, you won the game. You don't have to apologize for winning
a game. You don't have to apologize for him scoring 50.
If you were Adam Silver. What would you do?
They're not gonna do anything. You don't think so and that was a really dirty. They're grabbing his leg was pretty bad. He said his
His exponent, I don't know if you saw his explanation for it. It wasn't great
He said that the way he was positioned was that
He was take he was going to take out Mitchell Robinson's
leg and he was going to fall.
And that if he didn't push him away from his body, Mitchell Robinson was going to fall
on his knee.
He said he was trying to make sure that Robinson doesn't land on me because obviously we know
the history that I have with Kaminga landing on my knee. So I kind of had flashbacks when he came down
to it. It was unfortunate. I didn't mean to hurt anybody. I just in those situations,
I got to protect myself because I've been in way too many situations. I'm always the
recipient of the bad end of it. So he wanted to make somebody else the bad. Yeah. You wanted
to injure someone else. He should. Yeah. He should just blame everything on Bell's palsy. Yeah. And we'd be like, okay. Correct. So he just can't blink. Is that one side of his
face? Correct. Jesus Christ. That's when it remember when he went down. Yeah. It was like,
what's going on with his eyeball? Is that like a, when, when LeBron said that he saw
three baskets and aimed for the one in the middle? Is that the opposite of that where
he's, he's got one eye. So it's like closing your eye to shoot something.
He's like better at shooting. He's a sharp shot. I like that take. I mean,
you should call it a, his shooting was incredible. Yeah, no,
he had an incredible game.
It sucks that he also added that part because we should be talking only about his
50 point game,
but you can't just ignore him going like WWE on the Knicks.
And I love the one part I do love about this,
this series, it had bad blood going in just because it's Philly and New York, but I love
when a series gets to like insane levels of bad blood this quickly. It's game three and
everyone hates everyone so much.
This could be like an actual brawl situation. Yeah, because
next game someone's gonna go after and beats knee and if he goes down with it and if
if he if he goes out of the game and like actually tears his ACL or
Reinjures his meniscus. It's going to be like actual war. Who's your dog on the team that you need to step up and protect him?
I don't know. We don't have PJ Tucker anymore, which is tough. Mmm
Yeah, and the Ang's not on the team right campaign could get a little feisty campaign definitely
Yeah, do a dance move on someone big again. He could do like a little like Wow Lowry
What yeah, like will be like little dog jump at someone's knees big bark you could get out
Yeah, like campaign could do like a little West Side Story
Jets for sure. It was also awesome tonight. That's a that's a
Situation who's all players who's all players play better at home, and I said campaign is awesome
He was campaign was awesome like he was awesome today
He just the key with campaign is you got to just like somehow memory flash him to be like you were awesome
Because the next game he'll be like I'm on pain
Bebop all maybe could get in the mud
People Paul could get in the mud, but he's like a very nice guy. Nick's have some tough-ass dudes
Oh, yeah, I I mean that guy Hartenstein is incredible
Yeah, I also loved Nick nurse after the game when they asked him about the Embiid plays like I I honestly haven't seen it
I don't know what you're talking. Yeah. No, I like that. I know that's kind of he's how I wish I could go about this
Yeah, he's never gonna watch that play. Yeah, he should purposely avoid watching it so he can just keep saying haven't seen it
I'm gonna leave that up to the league. You know, they're the ones that watch it. I don't watch it. Yeah
Yeah, so Sunday must win. Yeah for a hundred percent. Nice. I'm you cocky. I
Think we win the series, but I like that the garden is just the garden is tough
It was just like watching the game in Philly just so much more comfortable. Yeah, because when the garden gets rocking
It's like it's it's scary. It's scary
Yeah, do you have your your defense ready against the Knicks fans that will ask for you to apologize for Embiids behavior?
Yeah, no, I'm sorry that that happened.
I mean, Mitchell Robinson didn't get hurt on that play.
He did get hurt later in the game.
I wish he didn't do that, but I'm really happy with what I saw from Joel Embiid the rest
of that game.
Because a lot of Knicks fans are like, well, he should have been out of the game.
He should have had the opportunity to drop it.
That's also pussy shit because they're like, oh, We would have won that game if MB got ejected. So are you saying you just you don't want to play a team at full strength
Oh, I never do I think they're saying I never want to play
If you had the choice to play against the guy that dropped 50 on you or not
I say like I'm gonna take the not yeah, they're like, yeah
We're a better team if the best if top three player in the league is not playing. Yeah
Yeah, sure and shout out three
Top three. Yeah top three did win MVP last year
Shout out the magic for scoring the basketball. They killed the Cavs
So it's good for them to get into the series see where that goes. They scored 121 points
You don't waste them all. Yeah, listen to me again. It's role players at home
I don't think the magic are as bad as they looked in those first two games.
Yeah, no, they, I mean, Markel Foltz had 11 and Colin Anthony had 10.
Like the role, you know, when you get home, get more comfortable, guys step up.
And then the other game, which was another shit kicking on Wednesday night, the Thunder
got just like, being a Thunder fan right now must be so much
fun because first game, tough nerves, young group in the playoffs, uh, had to fight and
win that game. This game, they killed the Pelicans and SGA and chat were awesome. It's
very funny. They were incredible. And that's like, Oh shit, we got those guys for the like
forever. And that's like oh shit. We got those guys for the like forever, and I feel like Chet
Smiles so much more in the NBA than he did at Gonzaga. Yeah, I feel like he was all business well
It's like his dad was the camcorder just following him around yeah now. He's like okay basketball is fun
Yeah, and he's playing loose, and he's he's way better than I thought that he would be yeah
He so that was that that had to be like one of those moments where if you're a Thunder fan, you're like,
holy fuck, even if we don't, you know,
even if we don't go to the finals,
even if we don't go to the Western Conference finals,
like this is the future, we're just gonna keep building on it.
Just imagine, just close your eyes and be like,
but what if KD also?
Yeah, what if KD was doing some Iso ball in the corner?
Okay, close your eyes and imagine the future with KD,
and also with a giant building,
a new giant building in downtown Oklahoma City.
And Russell Westbrook.
Incredible.
Why not?
Get the gang back together.
Why not?
Get Steven Adams.
Yeah.
Hockey.
Should we talk a little hockey?
Bruins are up to one Hank.
Cocky Hank?
No.
Oh.
Well, Hank knows the part.
That was a battle.
That was a war.
Swainman saved the day.
They got to keep him in.
They got to keep him in. They got to keep them in.
Yeah, I think Coach was even saying like you could tell that they're
thinking about Swayman because they...
It's the key to the series.
They bump into them. They look different when they have to go up against them.
Yeah.
They look nervous.
We also have some weird... Like usually the first round of the hockey playoffs is
fun because all these series are close, but we now have
the Canes up 3o the
Panthers up 3o The Rangers maybe the Rangers are down to Oh Rangers are down to nothing hunt 2o basically
Yeah
But it's uh and then and then the I stayed up and watched that Kings Oilers game oilers are gonna kill me just staying up
Late that was Oilers game. Oilers are gonna kill me just staying up late. That was an awesome game.
The period of the week for the Oilers
would be the second period even though they lost
because they came out buzzing.
And the Knights are just so good.
They went into Dallas.
Tough look for the stars people out there
because they were thinking Stanley Cup.
They were thinking Stanley Cup.
They're down 2-0.
They lost both games at home.
The Knights defense is so fucking good. I saw a stat. I got to try to find it.
It was something like in the last five and a half minutes, the Dallas Stars didn't even
get a shot attempt. That's just what they're doing defensively. Yeah, it's very frustrating.
It's not just like, oh, they're, you know, they got a goalie standing on their head.
They're just so defensively sound and stopping them there's just nothing you can do that's
the series where you have to get into a fight if you're down if you're the stars
I come out try to get into a fight mix things up yeah I'd agree that's my
solution to everything in hockey get in a fight just get a fight change the
change the whole momentum of the series yeah okay anything else we got in the
sports world oh here it is.
Golden Knights did not allow a single shot on goal in the last 538 of the game. Holding
a one goal lead on the road in the playoffs against a team that averages 3.59 goals per
game. That's insane. Yep. I do have one more thing in sports that we should talk about
because we missed it. Reggie Bush got his Heisman Trophy. We did it. Congratulations,
Merricka. We bullied the Heisman Trust. Did Johnny Manziel know? Johnny Manziel, I think
he was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Or did he know? Did he know that they
were going to do it? And that's a great move by him. To get out in front of him and be
like, yeah, I'm not going to be there. I don't think so. I feel like- Didn't we say we weren't
going to be there? Shouldn't we get some credit? Yeah. Yeah, we did. I think I think a lot of people bullied the Heisman Trophy
Yeah, it's one of the best examples of bullying working in recent history where people are just like this is bullshit that Reggie Bush doesn't
Have it but also it's it's bullshit that Reggie Bush ever gave the Heisman Trophy back
Yeah, because they had to ask him. Yeah, you just kept it. You just kept it have just kept it. Yeah. Possession's nine tenths of the law. Yeah. Squatter's rights.
Squatter's nine tenths. Yeah. Possession's important unless you're playing in the NCAA
championship game and you see a guy that you want a lateral to. Yes. Right. That's what
Reggie Bush should know. Yeah. We need to now focus all of our energy because I did
say right after it happened, it's like a dog chasing a car. You catch it and you're like,
what do we do now? Barry Bonds Hall of Fame. Barry Bonds Hall of Fame, easy.
Barry Bonds Hall of Fame should be all the energy of the sports world.
Write that wrong.
Barry Bonds, the best baseball player of all time is not in the Hall of Fame.
Yeah, it's ridiculous.
Also, Jim Tressel should be retroactively rehired by Ohio State.
Yep.
I know the Heisman Trophy and the NCAA are two completely different entities, but the
NCAA, remember what a huge scandal
that was at Ohio State where players were taking their personal merchandise and then
giving it to a tattoo shop for free tattoos. And then everybody, it was the leading story
on ESPN for like a month. You're like, can you believe what these assholes are doing?
Yeah. It was crazy. I made a list. It was like, uh, we need to get Rick Petito, Louisville banner back up. Yep. We need to get Pete Rose Hall of Fame, Barry Bonds Hall of Fame,
Armando Galarrago's got to get his perfect game. One of the most, one of the craziest
and back all is all time for the Tigers. Uh, and that was, yeah, we'll think of some more
Dan Heron Hall of Fame, uh, Bruce Pearl, get his hamburgers back. Bruce Pearl, get his hamburgers
back. Yeah, we got some more Fab Five.
Did they ever get that bitter back?
I don't know if they did.
I don't know.
Will Wade rehired by LSU.
Sure.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like it.
So we got to right these wrongs.
Use all of our energy.
Bullying worked.
Barry Bonds Hall of Fame is number one on my list.
But the thing is that's never going to happen.
But it should.
It should. But we thought maybe Reggie Bush never gonna happen. But it should. It should.
But we thought maybe Reggie Bush
would never get his husband back.
That's true.
We can do anything.
With mob mentality, we can do anything.
Okay, let's do Dan Soder in studio,
and then we'll finish with Fire Fest and Lottery Ball,
which we taped at two o'clock today.
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Okay, here he is, Dan Soder.
All right, we now welcome on a very special guest.
He is an incredible comedian. He's got a new special out called On The Road on his YouTube channel.
It is Dan Soder. Dan?
Yeah, thanks for having me, guys.
Thank you for coming by.
Yeah.
We are, we were talking about it before.
We, I mean, we love all comedians,
we love comedy, but we have a special spot in our heart
for comedians that like sports.
I love it.
I feel like there's a lot of comedians out there
that either like sports and don't talk about it,
or they're like, I don't even watch those things.
Yeah, you get, you get the guys that don't like sports and don't talk about it or they're like, I don't even watch those things. Yeah, you get you get the the guys that don't like sports are they make you feel bad for
liking. Yeah, right. Where they're like, oh, you just you just want to talk about sports. But then
the camaraderie of like, I can call Barghetti Shane, Big J, and we can just talk sports.
Yeah. And it's like when you're on the road, I know if Nate's calling me,
he'll be like, there's a game on.
Dude, the funniest Nate one,
I was in San Diego doing a show
and I was just like getting lunch
and I'm on the phone with Nate and we're just talking
and he's like, oh, did you see who,
did you see who the colts drafted?
And I'm like, no, dude, I'm getting lunch.
And he's like, you're not watching the fifth round?
And I'm like, hey, I'm not gonna watch
the fifth round of the draft.
It was like an Instacomical, and I was like, no, dude, I'm out having lunch. And he's like, hey, I'm not going to watch the fifth round of the draft. It was like an insta-consecutive.
I was like, no, dude, I'm out having lunch.
And he's like, I thought you liked sports, man.
Yeah.
Dude, no.
So he like bumped you down in his list of guys.
He's like, oh, you're a chick.
But he really had like that father that was disappointed.
Yeah.
I thought you'd be watching late round draft picks.
You're like, no, I wait for it to fill out online to see who.
And then I go look up the guys.
Yeah. Thought she was raised better than that.
Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought you cared.
Yeah. So who are your teams?
My dad's from the Bay Area, so I was born into the 49ers Giants. And then when I was
about 10 years old, the Warriors broke up, run TMC. And I chose the Nuggets because I
lived in Denver with my mom. And so I was like,
I need a Denver team and I wasn't going to do Broncos. Rockies were in the NLS when they were
created. Yeah. So I was like, Oh, so I'm Niners, Giants, Nuggets.
And it must be pretty nice for the last couple of years. Well, except for the Niners. I mean,
it's been nice, but not great. But nuggets has been after Mello left it was so crushing that I was like
we're never gonna get another superstar and I jokingly was like what are we
gonna get out like a crusty European yeah then we got the coolest fun
European yeah the best player in the world best player in the world one of
the best big men of all time gotta be the guy that was like I knew he was
different the second we got him I loved it you got drafted during a Taco Bell
commercial yeah there's a case Rita yeahdo. Yeah big case or Edo
He plays I always say this Yoke itch plays basketball like he's in the pool with his kids
Mm-hmm, like he's waiting of the water and he's like just putting it above him
This the way he puts it back and he does he like floats above everyone else
Yeah, he plays pool basketball and people are scratching at him
Yeah, it is like he gets out looking like he played basketball with his arms all fucking mangled
You're gonna see his wife going burgers are ready
Hold on one more shot
He actually owned cats cuz he looks like just with his arms
Yeah, it's like he's always picking up a cat that doesn't want to be picked
Well, he's that pasty kind of white. Yeah, I bet you could just go like that and then it'll show.
He's got the marks and everything after every single game.
He's got chubby cousin arms.
Yeah, and he's got his brothers.
His brothers rock, too.
Dude, his brother.
Let me tell you something about Jokic's brothers.
They are my favorite fans in the audience,
because I remember the year that the Sun swept the Nuggets.
Yeah.
Devin Booker kind of got into it with Jokic,
and his brothers were ready to go. Yeah. They also
harassed Mike Malone in a way where they like shake him. Yeah.
Did you see him? Yes. Yeah. The Jokic family, all they want to
do is go race horses and they just happen to be Jokic just
happens to be one of the greatest NBA players. And it it
is crazy like Jokic. He is one of those guys that if he was
obviously his height made him, you know know like I'm gonna go play basketball
But you could tell like he kind of wishes he was shorter just so he could be a jockey
Yeah, like he's like I kind of wish I could just ride horses the way jockeys are like I want to be a regular
Just like why do I have to be shy? Yeah, I always see his horses. I'm like God
I feel so bad for you like they're pulling him in this chariot, like 320 pounds.
The horse is like, fuck this.
And he's like, I wish I was smaller.
And they're looking over at other people
and they're like, you got such an easy job as a horse.
My favorite was when they won the championship
and they're giving the press conference
and they're like, are you gonna go to the parade?
And he's like, when this parade?
They're like, Tuesday, he goes, I want to go home.
And then he got drunk at the parade
and he goes, I know I say I'm the like parade.
I fucking love parade.
I have that clip on my phone because it makes me so happy.
As a Nuggets fan, when you grow up a Nuggets fan, you're just like, well, we're never going
to win a championship.
We had the 09 team with George Carl and the Thuggets that lost in the Western Conference
finals to Kobe's Lakers with Trevor Ariza.
And we were like, that's it.
That's the closest we'reals to Kobe's Lakers with Trevor Ariza, and we were like, that's it. That's the closest we're gonna get.
And then this team, you're just like,
we tied a franchise record this year of wins.
It was, I'm really hoping it.
And Lakers fans are doing a lot of this,
and it's kind of like, I hope we smack you.
Yeah.
Well, that was the weirdest series ever last year
where everyone was like, the Lakers,
man, they took it to the Nuggets.
You got swept.
Got swept.
It's crazy.
Also, as a Nuggets fan, it was poetic
because the day we swept the Lakers
was the day Carmelo retired.
Ooh.
And you're kind of like, yeah, bud.
Yeah.
What's up?
Oh, there ain't shit in Denver, huh?
Yeah.
How's that feel?
How's the breeze hitting your ring finger?
Yeah.
It's just nice because they're a fun team, too.
Yeah.
They're so easy to root for.
I mean, I love Jamal Murray.
I love Aaron Gordon.
That Aaron Gordon trade changed everything for us
Yeah, but I do miss Bruce Brown. I wish we still had Bruce Brown
I'm glad he got paid in Indiana, but he was like a guy that would come off the bench and you're like
Oh our starters can rest. Yeah, like he just energized the whole team
I also like how he handled that after the championship. He was like, yeah, I'm coming back and
Malone was like yeah, he's coming back. We're gonna we're gonna keep him together and then he gets an offer
He's like, yeah. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I got a back. We're going to keep him together. And then he gets an offer. He's like, yeah.
Yeah, I'm not.
Yeah, I got to get $80 million.
Yeah.
Yeah, it was awesome.
You know, and I don't think Nuggets fans,
when he came back for his ring, like it
was like an emotional night.
Denver fans were like, yeah, we love you.
And then we knew how important it was for that ring.
And then the other part of it is that Patrick
Holmes owned your life.
Dude.
He's a thief of joy.
We've talked about it many times.
He's so good at stealing joy.
He really is.
Because that's I was the best 49er team since 1994.
Yeah, that was that.
That was the complete 49er team.
And it it just hurt so much.
Now, here's the thing.
Twenty nineteen.
I got to go to both Super Bowls.
I was very lucky.
I got to go to both Super Bowls.
Twenty nineteen.
The reason that hurt so much was because McDaniel was the run game
coordinator. And it's just like, you just feel it's so insane
that your middle school best friend is on I grew up in Denver,
a 49ers fan. So I'm an outsider already. But then my friend from
middle schools on the Niners, right? Creating this
unbelievable offense helping create this unbelievable offense.
And it's like, oh, this is perfect.
This is like heaven.
Your whole life is coming together in this moment.
And then they lost.
And then Patrick Mahomes.
So this year, Michael Che got us tickets.
And so like Shane, shout out Shane Gillis,
Shane was like, you can crash in my hotel room,
which is half the battle. Yeah, especially in Vegas it's a nightmare to begin with right but he
was like listen he was out there with Bud Light he had Super Bowl tickets he's like
I got you you could crash in my room which was huge and then Che was like I got us tickets
so immediately I'm like I'm lucky all I have to pay for is plane tickets and dinner and
drinks if we go out lose that game and overtime,
which was just almost worse.
You dragging it out.
Coins the ups and downs, coin flip.
Yeah.
It just, there was a lot of problems,
but what made it awesome,
the like saving grace was as I was telling you on the act,
leaving a Superbowl when your team loses,
you're just so beat up and defeated.
You know, Katie has gone to a bunch of Super Bowls and she told me, because she got me
tickets to 2019, and she said, it hurts more when your team loses.
It's worse if your team wins.
It's not as it's not.
It's like, it's the traveling.
Like I've gone to a couple of Rose Bowl and lost both of them.
When you when you walk out of a stadium and you're like, I'm so far from home and all
I want to do is be home.
Nailed it. Yeah.
So we leave and Che and I are leaving with all these sad 49ers fans
and we're going back to the strip and Che's like,
I don't know, you want to get dinner? And I'm like, yeah, let's get dinner.
And so we go to, he's like, I ate at this steakhouse at my hotel.
Everywhere, you couldn't get dinner because it was like, it's Vegas, Super Bowl let out.
No place is like, yeah, we're not taking walk-ins. You have a reservation. We go to this steakhouse
and they're like, oh, Michael Che, he had ate there earlier. They're like, do you want
to get a table? And he's like, yeah, sure. They put us at a table in the back next to
Vince Vaughn.
Oh, hell yeah.
And Vince Vaughn knows Che. So we start talking to Vince Vaughn and he's like, Vince Vaughning.
He's like, who are you guys, like the Niners?
They're great.
Brock Purdy?
You gotta feel good about that.
You got a quarterback that can do it.
And I'm like, it was literally lifting my spirits.
And I was like, okay, this is fucking phenomenal.
I'm getting like old school Vince Vaughn right now.
I was like, come on baby, you guys had a good defense.
You guys might be back next year.
He does have an origin.
We were lucky enough to stand next to him just next to him
Yeah, LSU Alabama game and I think he like he turned us and asked us a question about like
Something about a pass or something. We answered it and we're like fuck we just we had we told Vince we know ball
Yeah
You didn't understand like one of the rules
understand like one of the rules. Yeah.
I love that. We fucking know ball. This fucking rock.
It must suck to be Vince Vaughn in Vegas though, because everybody just comes up to you. It's like, yeah, just say Vegas baby to me. Yeah. But dude, I'm telling you,
that was like a gift from God just to be like, here you go. Here's it.
Cause then the rest of the trip was horrible. Yeah. You had a place to like
sit down and decompress after the game. Okay. We can go have fun.
We commiserated and then I just went back to the hotel and packed and waited for my
early flight. So where do you rank Brock Purdy? It's the
funnest thing that we get to do every, every game. It's as far as what?
Quarterbacks. He's unbelievable. So is he top five?
Yeah. Oh, I think he's top five. Here's the thing about Brock Purdy. I think he's, you know, talent wise, I think like, actual arm speed, all that maybe not. He's just
got this dog mentality. Yeah, this winter mentality. And I
remember watching the game last season. This season that he went
down against the Eagles. They were playing the Raiders, you
guys would have beaten the Eagles if he was healthy. Yeah,
smoke them. That's turned into a the Eagles. If he was healthy, yeah, smoked them.
That's turned into a sweet rivalry.
Yeah, no, our producer over there is a diehard Philly.
He just shook his head violently.
Well, they just signed Devontae until like 2028.
He just went like this.
But guess what?
We still got Debo.
Debo is what killed him.
But Brock did this move against the Raiders.
Cause I watched Jimmy. I was like a Jimmy guy,
I was like, I'll turn around, it's all right,
he overthrew him, so what?
But Jimmy would just take sacks,
and then Brock, they were playing the Raiders,
and Max Crosby just came through,
and Brock just did this one move,
and side-armed it to CMC,
and it was like a 45-yard gain,
and you're like, that was the one play where I was like,
this guy can just do it's
What Russ used to do for Seattle? Yeah, you're just get just extend that play three or seconds and someone gets open
Yeah, but he throws dimes. Yeah, I mean, you know, I the Niners need to sign I ook
I know that they're like, oh, you guys are a lot of guys. You got a sign. This is it
I think this is the season
This is it because I think after this season you're looking at like six or seven guys that need to get re-signed that
are clutch for the team. This is why you should take the strategy of the Bears and the commanders
just never get good players. Then you don't have to resign them. You guys got Adam Peters.
That's unbelievable. Yeah. That guy was in New England with Belichick. He built that
Broncos. He helped build that Broncos team, the one, the Superbowl. And he was a, he was
a sneaky weapon for the 49ers. He's what I love Adam Peters. You guys, and he's already making
moves that you're like, commanders are going to start upsetting a lot of people in the
NFC.
He's, he's great in the draft. He helped build the core of your team.
He's a good dude. Um, he's, he's like, honestly, when I saw him go to Washington, I was like,
damn, that's the, that's the effect of not having a dance nighter. Now you're're gonna start getting a good GM. You got an owner that gets out of the way that can fund them
Yeah, but our strategy right now is just to collect guys. We're collecting dudes
We're hiring people that don't even work in our office. Yeah, we're just like oh that guy's smart
Okay. Oh that guy's announcer for the NBA on TV doesn't matter. He's a smart guy
We're gonna hire him and that's actually the thing that I don't understand why more owners don't do it. I'm telling you, man, watching, uh,
you know, and Jed York did that when he brought in Kyle and John Lynch, where he did this
thing where he's like, Hey, I'm signing them to the same amount of deal. So they're kind
of tethered to each other. So they have to work together. Yeah. And then you saw the
Niners kind of build up and be like, and get small pieces like kiddle. And then you start
getting like Fred Warner and you start drafting, right.'re like, oh, okay, these guys are building a locker room. Then you get like
a BOSA and you get like big eyes, but you start building that like base and some of
these guys turn into unbelievable superstars. So you mentioned Mike McDaniel. Yeah, you
grew up with him. Yeah. Best friends with him in middle school. Yeah, that was my guy
dude. You know that he was going to be a coach. Was that always his thing? No, I just knew
he was going to be involved with the NFL somehow. He thing? No, I just knew he was going to be involved with the NFL somehow. He
was just like, he was he was good at football. He's just an
undersized receiver. He went and played at Yale, but his football
intelligence was off the charts. Always. Yeah, always very smart.
Always knew he'd read like, press, the press books of each
team, especially the Broncos. He was like super into the Broncos.
So I got to go to that Miami Broncos game.
And that was awesome.
Oh, that was incredible.
My friend Chad, me and my friend Chad go to every game.
It's like, you know, we go to Dolphins games together.
We went to the KC game.
We like go support McDaniel.
And he's a season ticket holder for the Broncos.
And like, as the ass-whoopin's going on,
Katie kind of busts Chad's balls and she goes,
Chad, how you feeling? And he goes goes something can be beautiful and tragic at the same
They were just getting raw I was saying I wanted that game to get worse
I mean worse like I wanted a hundred points on scoreboard
But he did the thing where he had the knife at their throat and then he went no no yeah
And I love that and that just kind of shows you like Mike's like now we need good karma
You know we're gonna move forward so would you if it 49ers, Dolphins and Super Bowl, plead the fifth.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, here's the thing.
It's a win win.
If you want my honest to God reaction, that's one of my oldest friends in the world.
Right.
I'd want the Dolphins.
Yeah, I'd want him to win.
Yeah.
But best case scenario, if they would lose, yeah, it's not you're still with.
Yeah, great.
The Niners won a Super Bowl and then you played the Dolphins in the
Super Bowl so you're like, yeah, I got my title.
Exactly.
That's exactly how I want it.
That's probably the dream scenario.
Niners win the Super Bowl, Dolphins go, if they play the Niners then they win.
You remember when you got caught vaping on the sidelines?
Dude, I was sitting next to his wife.
That was awesome.
I was in Buffalo and I'm on Twitter and I see that and I show it and you see his wife go
I think he just vaped and she goes
They won't ever talk about it, you know, yeah fell they like block them from actually talking like real
Your dude you're coaching with your third string quarterback taking on one of the best teams in the AFC
In the game. Yeah, whack a vape. Yeah, hit one. Let him start smoking cigarettes. It was crazy. They were in that game
It was not Skyler Thompson Thompson. That's Skyler Thompson was the quarterback and they were in it, dude
Yeah, and then Frank left early. Yeah, remember that guy Frank left early from thank you
I was on a flight with him on the way back. Yeah, like Oh, I mean I was on the same flight from him back to New York
from Buffalo. Did you leave the game early? I had to. I had to catch my flight. Yeah.
He left early. But I, but here's the thing. Like I kind of knew that was going to happen.
Right. So what's cool about being friends with the head coaches, they like can give
you a staff member to be like, all right, cause I had to go to the van. I had to get
my suitcase and my stuff and then go to the thing. And you were like, go, go, go, go, go, go. And
it was nuts. And, but it happened where the game was out of reach when I left.
Do you, do you realize you may at some point have to be the peacemaker between Frank and
Mike because Frank, he goes hard at his team. Well, I, uh, I have a, listen, man, if you're
a sports fan, you know about bookmark and tweets. Yeah. Oh, and he said some nasty shit about McDaniel.
Oh yeah. After they lost that chief's game and I was at that chief's game. Yeah. And
he said some nasty shit and I booked Mark. He booked your, you bookmark Frank. You don't
come after my friend. Yeah. I know it's Frank. He's also like, he's, he's undefeated on the
internet. Like if you go after him, you're going to lose. Well, no, I also like he's he's undefeated on the internet. I know if you go after him you're gonna lose. Well, no, I also like Frank
Yeah, right. So I would broker that piece. I would broker that piece still the unfortunate part is he doesn't he can you can broker a piece?
But it won't stick. Yeah, I broke her to peace with him and Scott van Pelt. It lasted maybe two days and then he was like
but I know if McDaniel takes the Dolphins far, he'll forever have a piece of Frank's heart.
Yes.
Oh yeah.
That's what I mean.
Even if they get to an AFC championship,
a Super Bowl, even if it doesn't complete it,
I know Frank will be like,
cause Dolphins fans want a playoff win.
They want to play off win, they want to run.
And I think McDaniel's going to do that.
How bad did that suck being at that game in Kansas City?
Dude, it was.
How cold was it? People died.
Yeah, there was that house that five people got locked out of.
Did you figure out what happened with that?
Yeah, well, someone's was drugs.
I think that was Fennel, yeah.
But then someone was like, my husband didn't take drugs.
It was so cold it was laughable.
You went outside and you're like, this is nuts.
What are we doing?
Why?
Don't let him do this.
Yeah.
Don't let him do this.
Also, what's crazy was it was like the Browns Houston game was the day game and you're like
flip it NFL.
Yeah.
Why are you letting the night?
Yeah, you're letting the night game be the warm weather city.
Houston's inside I think.
Yeah.
So you're like, what are you doing?
It was the windshield was like minus 40.
Did I have a picture with me and Mike's father-in-law on the field at Arrowhead and
the thermometer was broken.
It just was like doing that thing where, you know, time travel movies where it's like jiu
jiu jiu jiu jiu.
It was like that on the thermometer.
It was nuts.
I saw the Dolphins uniform that night and I was like, they're not winning this weather.
Yeah, dude.
It was, dude, Holmes's helmet cracked.
Yeah.
It was insane.
Yeah.
Let me just say something.
I've been to a lot of playoff games where we've lost or
whatever. Chiefs fans. They're not cool. Not cool after you
lose. Oh, really? bills fans. It's a division. Yeah, you lose.
They go, hey, you know, good season or whatever. Chiefs fans,
they pop champagne. They go like, Chiefs Kingdom. Well, the
bad guys now. Yeah, well, so you know that she's fans. You're the
bad guys now. Mahomes and, so you know that chiefs fans You're the bad guys now my homes and I am saying that cuz I know us. Yeah
Well homes has changed like an entire region
Yeah, like they walk around with the confidence because why wouldn't you it's my home
So in Miami when they beat the Niners in 2019
I was you know rocking my Niner hat at the airport the next day and this old lady that was a chiefs fan was like
Yeah, come on. That was our first in 50 years. And you go like, true, I'll give you that. But then they
keep going. It's the Duke. It's the Duke curse. It's like you go to the finals too many times,
people are like, we're sick of seeing you. Yeah. Hank, our producer, he walks around
with a sense of entitlement because he's a Patriots fan. Yeah. So that's changing now.
He didn't even understand the draft when we explained it to him.
But that's-
Tom Brady is like a direct reflection of him.
It's- and listen, I understand this
because it's rich kid brain.
It's like you grow up with like servants and stuff
and you're like, well, the servants bring me food.
I grew up a Niners fan.
Dude, up until 2002, my only thought every season was,
who are we going to play in the NFC championship?
Yeah.
It was like, we're winning the West.
We're going to go to the NFC championship game. And then
that complete destruction of the franchise. You have this moment
where you go like, what? Where you're going to and 14. That
was like when we went to and 14 to draft Alex Smith. Yeah,
you're like, we have the number one pick. That's disgusting.
Yeah, we usually pick 25 or later. Yeah.
Do you miss Harbaugh a little? He's the best.
Harbaugh's the best.
He is very fun for a couple seasons.
Yeah.
But then you see why he was a great college coach
is because they leave.
Yeah, I know.
Because the 49ers, it started grinding the gears of people
where they're like, all right, with the rah-rah shit.
Like, we're pros.
I think that's why John's successful
because he's like a dial down. Yeah, but I think I think charters will be good right
away. They're gonna be they're gonna be good. They're gonna be instant contenders in the
AFU West. Yeah, we're gonna get back Dan in a second. He's being brought to you by our
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The interview is also being brought to you
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And now here's more Dan Soder.
All right.
You're special.
So I watched it this morning.
Yeah.
On the road. So you did it on YouTube, which I love,
because I feel like-
I was late to the party, man.
I should have been doing this.
Really?
I should have been doing this.
I did an HBO special in 2019 before the pandemic.
It was like, I got to do the classic HBO special,
and then I should have been putting stuff out
since then on YouTube.
Yeah.
Because I did it and immediately was like, damn, all right.
Because it feels like everyone's doing that now, You guys get, you know, you don't
have to have any notes. You can just put out your content. It's direct to the fans. Yeah.
And people could share it. Yeah. And it was very funny. I the the beginning of it, not
to ruin it because I want people to go watch it. But talking about how you just were, you
wish you were a little bit dumber. Yeah, I that I can relate to so much. Yeah. I mean, I suffer from anxiety a lot and I think it's because like if my
brain was a little bit dumber, I would just be like, Oh cool, man. The, the, we talk about
it because I think PFT and I, we're not dumb, but we're, I always say that like I'm in that
spot where I know that Malcolm Gladwell is full of shit, but I can't tell you why. You
know what I mean? Like I'm just, you. Yeah, you're bar-trivial smart.
Yeah, right.
Like, I'm smart enough to know what dumb looks like, but I'm not smart enough to explain
what it is.
I can feel smart when I'm playing, like, trivia at a bar.
Yeah.
I can feel smart certain topics, but most stuff, like classical stuff, I'm very stupid.
Yeah, and like a sweet category on Jeopardy, you're like, I look like a genius.
Also, it sucks to, if you're smart enough to realize how dumb you stupid. Yeah, and like a sweet category on Jeopardy, you're like, I look like a genius. Also, it sucks to, if you're smart enough
to realize how dumb you are.
Yeah.
That's where you run into problems.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just know like, man, if it was just a little bit more.
Little bits, little bit, yeah, like just a little bit
where I could just be a little happier.
And then I would just be like, oh, no worries.
Yeah.
Like, and I say that in the special,
like really hot people are just kind of like, it's gonna work out. Yeah. And you're like, damn, no worries. Yeah. Like, and I say that in a special, like really hot people are just kinda like,
it's gonna work out.
Yeah.
And you're like, damn, I'd love to be that.
It's, you know what it is?
It's appropriate for like right now in time
when it's like World War III happens every other week.
Yeah.
And it's like, I'm smart enough that I'm like,
I should probably read up on this.
And then my reading up on it is like a 10 tweet.
Yeah.
I'm like, all right, I got it.
Yeah, you find a good thread.
I got it.
I think I kinda know what's going on. Right. Where it's like, if I was just a little d right, I got it. You find a good thread. I think
I kind of know what's going on. Right. Where it's like if I was just a little dumber, I
don't care. Yeah. Like my opinions about sports are never like ironclad. Like if they're like,
no, that actually wasn't going to happen. I'd be like, ah, yeah, you're probably right.
I'm very easy to go. Yeah, I'm wrong. Yeah. Like I'll admit I'm wrong. That's the kind
of dumb I am. Or I'm like, it felt like I was right.
Yeah, it felt good to me at the time.
Or if you smoke like just the right amount of weed, exactly.
Then you dumb yourself down a little bit and you're like, oh, everything's cool.
I'm not thinking about anything. Yeah. You just kind of like.
And then if you smoke too much weed, you're like, oh, I'm thinking about everything.
Yeah, that's probably the weight of the world is crushing.
Yeah, it's true.
I love you on billions. Thanks, man. Great on billions. Are you familiar that that you and I shared a billing one episode? Did we really mean CC?
Sebastian? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I remember. Yeah. I think the ad in me hit at the last second. And that was awesome. And then did you have fun on set? Yeah, it was great. It was actually right at the start of the pandemic, which was weird. Yeah, it was like episode. I want to say like, uh, five Oh five. Yeah. And maybe that am I, I might nail it on the, uh, on the IMDb on the
IMDb, but I feels like it was episode five of season five. It was great, but it was,
it was so weird because it was right when it was starting. So they had everybody kind
of sequestered with masks on and you could only take your mask off while they were shooting.
Oh damn. You were doing it when we did you
Do it when we came back from the pandemic. I think it was like one of the first episodes that you did back
It was directed by shit. What's his name played Gabe on?
Ricky bad. Oh, oh David Costable. Yeah. Yeah who plays wags? Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, you were like episode six or seven because we were up filming episode five
The night Rudy go bare hit all the mics.
Yeah. Remember that night and they canceled. So I left. It was like a night shoot. We were
like shooting at the studio at night and it was a nuggets Mavericks. I remember that I
was like, Oh nuggets Mavs. I'm mad. I'm going to miss this game. And then I got a text from
Katie and she's like, they canceled the nuggets game. And I was like, what? And then it was
Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks had COVID and everyone's like, Oh, the Nuggets game. And I was like, what? And then it was Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks had COVID.
And everyone's like, oh, and dude,
we were broke for dinner at like midnight.
And one of the crew guys goes,
you know, there's an old Chinese curse
that says may you live in interesting times.
And I was like, oh, that's crazy.
And then the world shut down.
And I was like, you son of a bitch.
But when you came back, that was with the shields,
the masks, you could only take it off for the shot
and then put it back on.
Yeah, but everybody on the set was so nice.
I think about, like you mentioned you did a standup
special in 2019.
Do you go back and watch that and you're like,
my entire set is outdated now.
Yeah, it's just-
So much shit happened.
Well, it's crazy, I lost my sense of smell
because of COVID, I completely lost it,
which I'm doing a joke about now.
And in that special, I talk about smelling people.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, that's crazy.
I can't even do that.
That was back in the day where the honker worked.
Yeah.
Now it doesn't.
But yeah, that was interesting to come back.
And then as time went on and it relaxed by the end,
by the last season, it was like back to kind of like
what it was for the first five seasons.
Yeah.
Did you have to, did you study like finance bros to figure out how to act?
I waited on him for five years. So I was in the shit with him. Yeah, I worked at a Mexican restaurant in Midtown right by
Black it was by Lehman Brothers
Blackstone all those guys and they would come in and just be dickheads. So that was kind of like oh, I know how they act
Yeah, you guys know the vest by the way the vest the fleece vest and just be dickheads. So that was kind of like, oh, I know how they act. Yeah.
You guys nailed the vest, by the way.
The vest, the fleece vest.
Yeah, you got it.
Dollar Bill's vest was unbelievable.
Yeah, and that was like, you know,
Kelly O'Coyne who plays Dollar Bill, huge sports guy.
So it's great when we would be on set.
He's a huge Trail Blazers fan.
And that was when the Nuggets Trail Blazers
were kind of having their rivalry
into the bubble and then out.
Yeah.
And it was like fun to be like talking shit shit being like, oh dude, we got it.
Yeah.
And we did a boxing episode where we boxed each other and that was at the height of the
Blazers nuggets rivalry and it was fun.
Did you think you did a good job boxing?
Did you have to train for it?
Yeah, we had to go.
Yeah.
We were like went and like learned how to do footwork even though we're sloppy as hell.
Because there's nothing worse than watching a sports movie and being like, that guy's
never shot a basketball.
But what they, we worked with the trainer who trained Hillary swank for million dollar
baby.
Okay.
And, but the fun part was you read the script and you're like, Oh, we suck.
Yeah.
So this is going to be easy.
Yeah.
But then I accidentally broke Kelly's rib because they're like, they're like throw
punches and I threw one and just kind of feel good.
Yeah.
I should feel bad for the rest of the thing.
But that, that episode was awesome because we had like
Rich Eisen and Bob Mennery and like,
you had Stipe Miotic and Dante Wilder and Deontay Wilder
and it was like all these cool people in one location.
But with billions, sometimes you don't know
the famous people, like they have like
finance people that are famous.
And so I'm just chilling on that boxing episode
talking to this old guy,
just having a bullshit conversation. And he walks away and David Levine, one of the
creators goes, you know, it's the guy that shorted Enron. Oh, shit. And I was just being
like, yeah, there's pretty good dim sum down the street. Idiot.
No, the cameos in that show are always strong. You got Metallica was on there. Yeah, they
did season one. Mark Cuban's been on there. Yeah, Cuban's done it a couple of times. There's
been some really cool ones. And also like Coppelman is like friendly with JJ Reddick
Yeah, so reddick would come by set when we were filming in Brooklyn and that was cool because he's my age and I went to
Arizona and he was at Duke and it was kind of like like I got to be like ah Salim Stoudemire
I thought should have been player of the year
Shit back like that's awesome. Did you probably get said all the. Like people that meet him, they're like, I fucking hate
you. Yeah. So cool. Yeah. I know. Yeah. We've, we've, we've had him on a few times. He actually
was my neighbor in Brooklyn. Really? Yeah. Yeah. But he was like, it was, it's awesome
when you have an athlete that you cheer against and you meet and you're like, ah, you're a
good dude. Yeah. Like I bet my homes is a great dude. Oh, he's the best. Yeah. It actually
makes me mad. I wish he was like, and it it's crazy too because like, you know his family's had some things sure
It's like but he's any rides with this family like god damn it. You're a fucking winner and yeah
So it's like you meet those people and you're like, all right, and then you go back to sports
You're like fuck you though. Yeah, put the uniform on
Yeah
We always talk about this if we had if one of us rooted for a team that had Patrick Bohomes
This show it suck. Yeah, because no one wants to listen to, once you win a lot, then you
do become, like you said, you become the guy that is now like looking down on everyone.
Yeah. Like, oh, I wish you could. And honestly, I think like, look what happened to the city
of Boston. You know, my in-laws are from Boston and every, a lot of my close friends are from
Boston. In 04, Boston was the most cheered for city from the outside in
and then they had the run of the greatest sports run a city
probably has ever had with not only the Patriots but the Red
Sox Celtics and the Bruins. Yeah. And you're kind of like
you guys are championship city and then now they're starting
to come back down to earth where you're like, all right, I'm
starting like Boston again. Yeah, I can cheer for him. Not like the Celtics team. You're like, I kind of want to see him do something
It is funny. Yeah watching Hank come to grips
I said he he literally like cuz I have the first pick he has a second pick Hank has a third pick and we were
Talking about the draft and he thought he could trade up to one and not give up three. Oh, yeah
No, we're like, no, that's not how it works
Bears fan like I think I would honestly put commanders, you guys are going to be coming back. I think you're a team that like everyone's got to
reset on and realize that Snyder's not there. It's going to take a couple of years. Yeah.
I would say the Bears are in a very similar position as the Browns and the Bills. Bills
are starting to get good where you're like, all right, you guys are good and you have too much.
But like Bears and Browns, I could see myself,
if you guys go to the playoffs
and the Niners get knocked out, being like,
let's go Bears.
And Caleb Williams, I think, is gonna piss everyone off.
Yeah, you think so?
Oh yeah, he's the first Gen Z quarterback.
Can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
How upset, what if Justin Fields goes to Pittsburgh?
Oh, it's gonna happen.
And just rips them.
Oh, he's gonna be awesome.
Are you serious?
Dude, he's going to-
One or two years after Russ? Yeah, no, he's gonna be sick. Yeah, he's gonna It just ripped. Oh, he's gonna be awesome. It's gonna be serious, dude. He's one or two years after
Russ. Yeah, no, he's gonna be sick. Yes, he's gonna be sick. When the Niners drafted Trey Lance. So I was like, you know, McDaniel was still
there. He's the OC. And I was like, who are you taking? And he's like, who do you want? I was like, Justin Fields. And he was like, well, I'm not
gonna tell you who I'm like a day before the draft. I was was like, oh no, I want Justin Fields. I liked him.
I thought he was so good.
And I didn't think he got a fair shake in Chicago.
He did not.
People don't talk, the Mitch trade up, Solomon Thomas was a bust.
Yeah, we traded you guys.
I tried to do a whole thing where I was like, why aren't we talking about Solomon Thomas?
I guess fucking sucked for the $40.
You guys gave away so much to get your business.
So much.
Because I think we turned a couple of those picks into good show. Of course you did like the later pick
Oh, of course, this is Shanahan is
Dangerous. Yeah third fourth round. Yeah, he's gonna get somebody in the third or fourth round that you're like, oh shit
This guy turned out to be unbelievable
Yeah, and that's what I love about the front office of Lynch and Shanahan is they do really well in the draft
Yeah, they pick up people and I is they do really well in the draft. Yeah.
They pick up people.
And I think McDaniel's unbelievable at the draft.
Are you still like real high on Kyle as a head coach?
I love Kyle.
I mean, I just, you know what I mean?
I started to wear it though.
Oh yeah, he's gray.
Like these pictures.
He's got president face.
Yeah.
You know how they used to show Obama before and after.
Yeah.
He's Abraham Lincoln after the civil war.
Yeah.
You're just like, dude, you can't take any more of these losses.
I think he, but I love that Andy Reid said that to him, where he goes, you just keep
going and it'll go.
Cause I think Kyle is such a-
Yeah, that's nice.
The guy who just is one three zero.
He's like, don't worry.
He's like, fuck you, dude.
He's leaving with your girl and he's like, you'll find true love.
You'll get him a home.
Yeah.
It gets better, Kyle.
Yeah, it gets better.
It's the perfect way to do it.
I think Kyle is an unbelievable cut.
Oh, he's incredible. And I think what he's done with the 49ers organization, I think we're like, I think Kyle is an unbelievable. Oh, he's incredible.
And I think what he's done with the 49ers organization,
I think we're like, I think this is it.
I think it's like, this is the season
or we have to enter a rebuilding phase.
I just think it's like, win or die.
The thing is, if Kyle was on the open market as a head coach,
there would be like 30 teams.
You'd want him.
He makes running the football sexy. Yeah. It doesn't happen anymore. that want him. Yeah, you know, he makes running the football sexy
Yeah, like it doesn't happen anymore like the moves
Yeah
And what's what's fun is watching McDaniel get a chance now to implement that run game in Miami with a chain and and guys
Like he brought Fred Wilson jr. And he had you know, Raheem most are is unbelievable
Yeah, and most are it was in San Francisco with them and's just like, I'm excited to see McDaniel's influence
bleed into the Dolphins, because they have some high octane
players. But McDaniel's talent is scouting. Yeah, he's
unbelievable. You know, he loved like when he went to the 49ers.
There was kind of this thing where he was like, I get one
player in the offseason, he told me, he's like, I get to tell
Kyle one guy that I'm like, that rock that and he came in the
first year and got Kyle use check
Oh, wow
He's like I want you check out of Baltimore and I would say he's one of the most important 49ers of the last. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, he's checks unbelievable. Yeah, they got angled. Yeah in Miami. So yeah, exactly. He went he loves a fullback
Yeah, cuz he was a ball boy with the Broncos and saw Howard Griffin blocking for Terrell Davis
And all those thousand-yard backs and those yeah, they ran the ball just like that in the downhill toss. And yeah,
like and in McDaniel implementing like a zone blocking scheme for lineman is I think like,
yeah, I'm excited, man. I just get when I talk NFL, I just am like, let it be September.
I know I want it back. Run it back. This is right around the time where it's like, because
every time the football season ends, I'm like, all right, I need a break. Nice dude. I couldn't months
happen. I'm like, I'd like some football. Yeah. I couldn't think of football. I was
so heartbroken. Yeah. Especially being like the chiefs again. Yeah. Like again. Yeah.
But it was always going to be the chiefs looking back on the season. The story, Taylor Swift
getting involved and like everyone had them written off.
Yeah, they get to play the whole like we're underdogs.
But it just sucked because I went and watched him beat the Dolphins and I was like, well,
whatever.
And then I had to watch him beat the Niners again and I was like, yeah, I just can't.
I'm done.
By the way, I'm done.
49ers fans, rest easy.
I will never go to a 49ers Super Bowl again. I will watch it
Oh, I'm owing to I'm not doing that to the fan. That's huge actually if I'm the if I'm the mush
I'm not going you got to do yet. You have to take one for the team. I'm just I'm gonna watch it home
Yeah, I'll watch it home from now on I'll go to regular season games. Hell. I'm pretty good with playoff games
I think I'm like almost undefeated going to Niners playoff games, but I will stay away from the super
That's better at home. Anyways, it is I've done it andfeated going to Niners playoff games, but I will stay away from the Super Bowl
That's better at home. Anyways, it is I've done it and that lost you to travel you nailed
Yeah, it's when you're just you just walk out of a same. They like you don't put me at home right now
I was sitting next to this father and son who were Chiefs fans on the flight home and they were like
Giddy about it and I was like dude. I hate you guys like watching the highlights on their phone. I was like
You are that playing with Frank the tank. Could you hear. Like watching the highlights on their phone, I was like, fuck that. When you were on that plane with Frank the Tank,
could you hear him yelling about the Mets?
Oh, dude, I don't, he just was so sad
after that Buffalo game when we were on that flight
that I wanted to say something and be like, hey man,
I know, I know, I know.
And I know he was fired up against the Chiefs
cause it was like a game where he was like,
a lot of calls went wrong or whatever. Yeah. But I was fired up, that's when you it was like a game where it was like a lot of calls went wrong or whatever yeah but I was fired up is that's when you
become more of a friend than a fan where you see that we go hey that's my friend
yeah yeah yeah that's my guy Frank just blacks out during games and that's that You ready? Showtime. On May 3rd, summer starts with The Fall Guy.
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All right, so you mentioned Waiting Tables.
How long were you trying to make it in comedy?
I love the stories of like.
I mean, dude, I'm still am.
It's a lot.
You've been here.
Yeah, no, I've had some success.
But I would say up until like I moved in New York in
2007 and I spent about four years
Really like grinding waiting tables doing shows at night. Did you live in a shithole? Oh, yeah
I lived in the same apartment in Queens for 15 years, but I lived in a windowless room that we turned into a closet
I was there for like seven years. So you wake up at like 2 p.m. and you have no idea what time it is.
Hungover.
Yeah.
When I was drinking.
Yeah.
It was brutal.
No air conditioning.
So I had to take fans and line it up from our air conditioner in the living room.
Like a science project.
So it blew cold air.
Is that, I mean that has to make you like appreciate everything.
Everything.
Because like that's.
Everything.
Comedians for some reason it's, it's you obviously see it with actors, but it feels like actors will just go to LA and like the ones that make
it or like they go and they make it. But you see so many comedians like it happens overnight
for actors. Right. They just go like boom. Like I guess the closest thing for comics
would be getting SNL or something. But watching Shane get SNL and they get fired. But knowing
that he had that momentum going, it's all about momentum. I've watched momentum happen
with Nate. I've watched it with Shane. I've watched it with a lot of my friends. And so I'm in this
really great place right now where you're starting to sell out clubs, you're starting to move to
theaters and you're like, oh, this feels great. It also just feels kind of like, all right, I'm
having fun doing standup. I never thought I'd be adding shows, like making good money where you're
like, oh, this is fun.
It's just a lot of fun.
Is there a small PC that kind of misses the shittiness?
I miss my friends.
Trash hole, yeah.
Because your friends get successful and they move away.
They moved to Nashville, they moved to Austin.
Like they're gone.
And you kind of miss being at the bar with them
at one in the morning being like,
all right, I gotta get up for work,
but we're having so much fun.
You're just ball busting and just like,
yeah, there is like, I think that's just natural with any,
I mean, you guys have gone through it,
you're super successful, you remember the days
where you're just scratching for anything,
and there's kind of like, you miss that,
but you don't wanna go through it again.
Yeah, exactly.
The climb is fun, but it's also,
when you're in the climb, it can have moments where you're like,
Well, you're scared.
Yeah.
I remember I would open for Bobby Kelly and I'd open for Colin Quinn or whatever, and they'd be like, you're gonna be fine. And I'd moments where you're like, you're scared. Yeah. Yeah. I remember I would open for Bobby Kelly,
and I'd open for Colin Quinn or whatever,
and they'd be like, you're going to be fine.
And I'd be like, dude, you don't understand.
Yeah.
I don't have money to pay my cell phone bill this month.
Yeah.
And they're like, you're going to be fine.
And as it happens, you're like, oh, shit.
All right.
Yeah, that moment where it clicks, you're like,
oh, this is a career.
Yeah.
That's a pretty fucking cool moment.
And it's been fun trying to figure out different stuff.
Like, you're figuring out, like putting out the YouTube special.
I'm like, damn, I should have done this a while ago.
But it was great now seeing the people be like sharing it.
People discovering you and being like, oh, shit.
And then what's fun about, you know, I've been doing comedy about 20 years.
So you're like, oh, there's a backlog.
Yeah. Like you can go watch my HBO special.
You can go watch my Comedy Central Hour.
You can go watch stuff where you're like it's like finding out about a band and realizing they have like three albums that you're like, oh, I can go watch my Comedy Central hour. You can go watch stuff where you're like It's like finding out about a band and realizing they have like yeah the album
Yeah, you're like, oh I can go like I'm a huge Queens of the Stone Age
I love Queens. Yeah, and I got into them songs for the death. Yes, and when I got into them
I was like, oh there's rated R self-titled. Yep, the beaver split. There's like a bunch of stuff
Hius have you seen them live? Oh like probably over 20. Oh, wow
I've probably only seen him like five or six
They're unbelievable. He puts on the best show Josh is he also is like
He's had some run-ins with the law. I don't know how he hasn't had more cuz he just unbelievable
He challenged some kid to a fight stopped the whole show. Yeah spotlight and was like he picks on people that are picking on
Yeah, right. He's someone threw a shoe and he stopped the whole show spotlight Maybe called him a word you can't say yeah
It was like get up here and fight me right now and the kid just like ran away. There's a clip
Yeah, you can't find it anymore, but there's like queens and stones around songs for the deaf
they're performing at the Orlando House of Blues and
Josh turns around to talk to the drummer and this like finance bro goes and is like dancing in the middle of the stage and
Josh just straight up 300 And then he grabs the mic and he goes this is like dancing in the middle of the stage and Josh just straight up 300 kicks him in the back and then he grabs the mic and he goes, this is my fucking stage.
He's like, he's classic rock and roll.
He's like the leather jacket, like fucking just shreds.
I could argue they're the best American rock band in the last 40 years.
I could argue, and I will go album for album with anybody.
Their albums.
Because they evolve.
I mean, Times New Roman with anybody their album because they evolve. I mean times new roman
Their new album was unbelievable. I got to see them in new york when they came to forest hills and queens
I'm gonna go see them again on this tour because now they're like warmed up even his side projects
Dude, I love those the death metal them crooked vultures the desert sessions. Yeah, you know what it is
It's the same with anything. It's the same with sports comedy music
It's just a dude that you see love doing it. Yeah, and you're like, I love that. You love what it is? It's the same with anything. It's the same with sports, comedy, music. It's just a dude that you see love doing it.
And you're like, I love that you love doing it.
And it's funny.
It's just like, that's my shit.
Queens of the Stone Age, you know, that's my-
The best.
Yeah, I'm a huge fan.
What I like about them is you can listen
to any of their albums and they all sound totally different
from each other.
And they're always interesting.
Well, you want to see people evolve. You want to see people try stuff that maybe sometimes doesn't work.
But then you get to see them try stuff that does work.
And you're like, yeah, this shit rules.
They also pass the test.
And it's a very simple test when you put it on in a car, like on a highway.
And then you look down, you're like, I'm going 120.
Yeah.
Like, oh, fuck this rocks.
And I know this isn't necessarily legal, but smoking weed and driving
through the desert listening to the Queens of the Stone Age.
Yeah.
Yeah, we went to Detroit last summer and I was like, let's just put on some Queens and
we listened to like two straight albums.
And it was just like, we got there fast.
You should be able to get out of a speeding ticket if you tell them.
If you're like, I got songs to the deaf.
Yeah.
Got it.
Got it.
Then the cop just like, he writes you a ticket, next time put on a podcast.
Yeah.
Put on something slow.
I mean, I got into them when I was at U of A at Arizona in Tucson.
And so you'd be driving around the desert listening to Queens of Thrones, and you're
like, that rocks.
It fits perfectly.
Yeah, that's made for me.
Yeah, it was unbelievable.
It's like mysterious and dangerous music.
Yeah.
I love it, dude.
I love it.
And it's like you said, it changes.
And you're like, dude, every album's different.
And this new album's fucking awesome.
Yeah, it is.
Yeah. So wait, Arizona, so like C different and this new album is fucking awesome. Yeah, it is. Yeah, so wait, Arizona
So like C's in high school
Close C pluses B minuses. I if I could do it over again, I go to Arizona
I don't think you would know Arizona Arizona
Yeah, but Arizona Arizona State when I've been to those campuses and I'm like, why does anyone go anywhere else?
Now, here's the thing. I went to Arizona and I would go to Arizona State and be like, Oh, this is crazy.
Yeah, it is crazy.
You guys are having like like blowout pool parties on a Wednesday.
Yeah.
Like Arizona Thursday nights were fun. Saturday nights were good.
But again, I wasn't I didn't have any money.
I was dead broke.
I wasn't in a frat.
So for me, Arizona wasn't that fun.
Yeah, I would go.
I worked at a radio station and I did standup.
So that is where I would hang out with the people of Tucson.
And U of A was like, oh yeah,
I'll go to a game if I can get tickets.
But it wasn't like, I think Wisconsin is like
that classic college, five bucks for a cup
and you're in a house party.
Cause I used to go hang out, being from Colorado,
I'd go to CU with friends, older brothers
and stuff. And that was like boulders awesome boulders like
credit. If I could do it all over again, I would have gone to
Austin, I would have worked hard and got into Texas. That's a
hard school to get into though. But it's so fun. Yeah, Austin.
I mean, dude, you got the sports. It's like a cool music
town. Yeah, just got a lot going for Yeah, I would have gone to
LSU. I think I had a bunch of friends that went to LSU, I think. Oh, back in the world.
I had a bunch of friends that went to LSU.
I would go there for my spring break.
Mark Norman went there.
And I asked him about it all the time.
And he was like, it was crazy.
You know?
He's like, it's nuts.
You get a spring break.
You also get a full week off from Mardi Gras.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No school, no class.
Just go party.
Dude, we, speaking of Arizona, when I was a senior,
05, we were in the elite eight against
Illinois right. Yeah that's a famous game right here in Rosemont. Yeah well we were
like everyone's like you know if they go to the final four we get Monday off and everyone's
like we get Monday off. So people start planning these like Sunday parties because our team
that year was fucking unbelievable. Yeah I mean we had Salim Channing Fry, Iguodala, Hassan Adams. We had ballers. And so we're
like, dude, we're about to go to the final four and get Monday off. We're up something
like 15 with like two minutes left. And then D Brown and Doron Williams, one of the craziest
tournament games ever. You know how I knew we were fucked? They kept showing Bill Murray.
Yep. And I was like, stop doing that. Yeah. Love Bill Murray Yeah, stop doing that and he had the Illinois eye on and yeah stop doing that
Yeah, and then they came back and beat us in overtime and that was one of the worst feelings of being like, yeah
Okay, well, that's it. Yeah, that's it. It was our senior year. You're like, that's it, huh?
Got class on Monday class on Monday everyone and And I think everyone drank on Sundays at a protest.
They're like, all right, all right.
Civil disobedience.
Yeah, we're still going to party like we won.
Yeah.
Then we're going to get hungover on Monday.
Before we let you out here, I have
to ask you to do a little bit of woke Rodney Dangerfield.
Oh, woke Rodney Dangerfield?
Because it's my favorite thing that you do.
Yeah, he's like, I'm telling you,
you know who doesn't get any respect?
Women of color.
I'm telling you, you know who doesn't get any respect? Women of color. The only Rodney joke I ever wrote that sounded like that was when I was
like, Hey, they say gender's fluid. That's the case. I'm in love with a puddle. I'm telling
you, you know who doesn't get any respect? The Native Americans. It's all their land. You know what I'm saying? It's generational trauma. It's real.
Rodney was so fucking funny.
I'm here to use my facts.
Do you think he was like that when he was not on stage? Like same bravado?
No, I heard he was like very low key. If you want to watch a great, there's a Carson where
Rodney's just like fucking killing and Carson's like sweating, and Rodney goes I got a lot of jokes he just keeps
going in you know my doctor dr viti bombats well now I was doing like uh I was doing Rodney doing
uh basic bitch comedy you know he's like hey boys are weird I'm telling you they'll watch your
stories but they won't text you back oh yeah man Rodney was the fucking man. Yeah, I love that guy.
And he just used to smoke bats. Yeah. Just wear a linen robe and smoke fucking huge joints.
Yeah. Legend. Legend. That Eddie Murphy story where he saw Eddie Murphy at like the comic
strip in Florida. He's like, kid, you're cussing too much. And then Eddie Murphy blew up and
they're at like an award ceremony in Vegas and Rodney's pissing and Eddie Murphy comes and stands next to me
He goes hey, I was wrong
It's he fucked up who knew I think he said something like that. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah
Oh, all right. I have one last question row back question our HOB a CK calm promo code take
20% first purchase cues of polos hoodies joggers shorts robeck.com promo code take this has been awesome everyone go watch the the
special it is very very funny also perfect length yeah I pulled it up this
morning and I was like 40 minutes fuck yes yeah I ain't gonna make you sit
there yeah like it's the dumbest thing we do with our brains where we're like
I don't it's a two-hour movie dude when I I want to watch this then you just
watch like four episodes I'm watching this Netflix show that was on Cinemax called warrior. It's like a kind of like a Kung Fu show. 45
minutes. I'm like, yeah, I'm in for the episode. But it's so dumb because like you, you will
literally sit and watch a three hour football game. Yeah. It's like, I need more. Yeah.
I see the flower moon. I'm like, I don't have to. Yeah. It's like, I don't want to score
Sacy's master piece. I don't know. Short Yeah, it's like, I don't want to. I'm a busy man. And it's Scorsese's masterpiece. You're like, I don't know.
Shorten it, Marty.
All right, so you're a huge wrestling fan.
I was a huge, huge wrestling fan growing up.
I think I'm waiting for my kids to, like, I hope my son.
I have two sons.
Don't get into it for a little bit.
Yeah, and I want to get back into it then.
But I read a story that you had a show with Stone Cold
Seavolson in the works.
Yeah, actually, because Barstool.
Really?
We caught some shit with the CFO, Nick Khan.
So he was like, we talked about it on KFC, and then Barstool tweeted it out.
And we were still in development.
We still have it.
But we wrote a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin, me and Dan St. Germain wrote an animated,
which, by the way, the script is fucking phenomenal. And they have it. Peacock has it. a show with Stone Cold Steve Austin, me and Dan St. Germain wrote an animated, which by
the way, the script is fucking phenomenal and they have it. Peacock has it. We're waiting
to get a pilot. Let's do it. So wait, are we screwing it up again? No, I know. Yeah,
we're pushing them. I don't want to push it. Yeah. Cause it's very funny. It's about Steve
working at a, at a, like a black law firm and it's called Stone Cold Law. And it's like
Steve's a lawyer,
like trying to help out the little man in Texas.
I love that.
It's very fun.
It's very fun, it's weird.
It's like, it's just a weird funny show
where we wrote a great pilot
and we're just waiting for them.
We just wanna get in the booth with Steve.
We just wanna be able to Steve,
for Steve to read some of our jokes,
cause he rules.
Yeah, he's the best. Dude, we've had phone calls with him and he's the man
We haven't talked to him in a couple years. This thing's been going on for four years
All right, so we got to get it going dude
I'm telling you stone-cold law if we could get a season of that
I guarantee we would make a fucking banger of a show. So let's go if peacock gave us a full season. I
Have no doubt it would be great.
Yeah. What are we doing? I don't know.
That's a no brainer. He's my favorite wrestler of all time.
Probably the coolest thing I got to do was they asked me to be in the documentary.
I had like one line. Yeah. I was in the Macho Man one.
Yeah. It was A&E. It was just like, yeah, I probably like Stone Cold Sun.
I'm going to tell you what. 400 people say what like yet. I probably like Stone Cold Sun. I'm gonna tell you 100 people
Yeah back in like 1999 when we sold the show originally
There was nothing cooler than my phone ringing and looking down and being like oh Stone Cold Steve Austin's calling
Yeah, and he was just in my phone is Steve Austin and be like, hey, what's going on brother?
Yeah, you know you pick up and he's like, what are you guys doing?
Yeah, I was on the phone with him around Christmas at my mom's house and I got off the phone
My mom was like you're beaming like you're 12. Yes
He has that or he came into the office like I mean like five six years ago
And he's like I like your shirt and I just was like here you can have it. I took off
Yeah, he rules dude, he's like the he's the coolest and and I really really hope we get an opportunity to like actually make something
Yeah, just cuz like now we're using that script for other projects to be like, here's what we wrote
Yeah, animated space. That's how proud we are of that script
So I hope they let us make it at least like let us animate. Come on, dude
We had the guy push him
We had one of the guys from Archer that wanted to do the animation and it was like dude
It was a home run. It would be awesome peacock. I will watch every episode a thousand times. Yeah, dude
I would just keep it on in and it's silly. It's weird. It's like, you know what I mean? It's not like
Poignant it's just like a real fun. Let's throw shit at the wall and see whatever weird jokes there
I love it. Who's your favorite tag team of all time Legion of Doom? Okay
I mean Legion of the road warriors were like unbelievable. Yeah. And they were just like
those promos. You can go back and watch them. Yeah, they're great. But I also, I mean, I'm
such a Mark that I can go, I can talk about this shit. Yeah. I mean, I was a huge DX guy.
Yeah. He actually was unbelievable. And when it was Xbox and Kane, that was my favorite.
I saw a great tweet where they were like, if you think about it, the rock is the biggest star in Hollywood. DX took over the WWE because Sean Michaels and triple H and
they did like in stone colds off on a ranch drinking beer. Yeah. They're like, it was
the perfect long form storytelling. Yeah. Yeah. X-Pac when he would just like get you
up against the ropes and just start sitting on your face. Yeah. Oh, I'm gonna tell you
right now. Sean Waltman's the fucking man. Yeah that guy was in NWO that guy was in DX and he's cool as hell. I believe it
Yeah, he's like one of my favorite wrestlers of all time
Yeah, I'm like excited to get back into rest dude, and I'm telling you right now Triple H is fucking cooking
Yeah, they are I know I saw the videos like I it's unbelievable. I saw this one video of this kid crying
After WrestleMania being like they did it. They all came out and helped him. I was like god damn it. That's what I want
It's dude. I'm telling you man. This is as a wrestling fan that WWE has never been better. It's so fun right now
I get hype for I was watching smackdown in the green room of Omaha and they're like you're about to go up. I'm like
Toma Toma just showed up bloodline shit, I'm putting my ones in the air.
Acknowledge me.
What a cool thing.
Roman Reigns rules.
It's the best.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, Dan, thank you so much.
Anytime you're in Chicago, we'd love to have you come by.
Yeah, absolutely, man.
I'm excited.
Maybe football.
Yeah, come watch football with us.
I would fucking love to.
We're going to catch all Sunday.
We're trying to get Stavi to come do it.
I would do that with Stavi.
Stavi's the man.
Dude, we had him on after the Ravens lost
And I think we were the first people he talked to and it was bad one of the biggest smiles on my face
Was seeing when the Ravens started fucking with style. Yeah, I was like that's that rules
And you saw you saw the look every time you do a video before Ronnie and yeah Ronnie
He'd be like on the main account and he'd stop because he wanted to go to that dark Ronnie place. Yeah
my fucking daughter. I'll protect the services. Yeah. Nerve the Ronnie takes the nerf. Yeah. I can't say that right now because I'm with a pretty known organization.
Yeah. Yeah, we got to do it. I mean, we, we, that is like the best part of our job is that
we walk in here at 11 a.m. Dude, you guys are like a successful foot clan. Yeah
Go down on the half. Yeah, this is awesome. Yeah, we just sit and we want we sit on the couch for 12 hours and watch every game
Unbelievable. It's like this is our life. Yeah, we'd love to have you come some hell. Yeah, absolutely
Alright, well, thanks so much. Everyone go check it out. It's incredible special. Thanks man soda. Thanks so much. Yeah
Welcome back to another fire fest
of the week brought to you by our friends at Morgan and Morgan you know it
really sucks I guess maybe falling asleep and not making out to podcast
that sucks you know what all sucks wrapping your car around a telephone pole
in the parking lot there's a lot of things that suck can I throw on what
else sucks losing his 14-point favorites at homeosing his 14-point favorites at home absolutely sucks.
You know what doesn't suck?
Probably what happened to the Sixers earlier today,
where they definitely probably won.
Congrats to the Sixers.
Congrats.
I need them to win really bad.
Probably.
I said probably congrats on the must-win win.
I'm sure you won.
You know what else really sucks is getting injured.
You know what doesn't suck?
Calling Morgan and Morgan so they can help you get what you deserve. Well, they
can't help any of that other stuff that we talked about. They can help fight to get you
full and fair compensation when you are injured. Their fee is free unless they win. For more
information go to ForThePeople.com slash PMT or dial pound law, pound five two nine from
your cell phone.
Okay. Let's wrap up the show. We got Fire Fest of the Week.
Henry.
Yes.
Give us your Fire Fest of the Week.
OK.
Uh-oh.
Is it bad?
I've gone back and forth because I've
gotten some second opinions, and I might be overreacting.
Uh-oh.
How many second opinions have you gotten?
A lot.
I've asked a lot of people.
That would be a third, a fourth, a fifth.
I've had, yeah. You've got seven opinions? Seven-ish opinions lot. I've asked a lot of people. That would be a third, a fourth, a fifth.
You've got seven opinions?
Probably seven-ish opinions.
Okay.
So here's eight and nine.
I was in the editing lab working on the documentary, which should be out now.
It came out Thursday night, I believe.
Hell yes.
Hell yeah.
Wait, can I just butt in real quick?
Sure.
So the documentary is a documentary that you're making about you training and
being able to dunk my quest is this one
of those things my journey but my
question is you just started and you
haven't dunked yet so the the
documentaries coming out now well it's a
it's a progress there's there's multiple
episodes this is basically a baseline
it's it's it's really for the haters
I've set it up I mean it's it's true you
mean the haters to be right the haters have been on a heater
Yeah, the haters. Yeah, the haters gonna have a field day with this episode
Probably we basically did you know we had a trainer come in got a baseline of what my vertical leap is
bad where I'm at and where I need to get to and
Then the following episodes will hopefully be showing progress progress progress until I'm above the rim and dunking how many?
Hopefully be showing progress progress progress until I'm above the rim and dunking how many episodes the
Documentary are there and also did you do this because someone said to you documentary and you're like fuck I have to make this now
No, it was it was reverse it was it was it was the videos
You know we have to figure out a video of me training at Duncan PFT said the documentary which okay nice great name
But in that footage there's how many episodes are there many episodes is there going to be? There's going to be three, hopefully.
That's it. That's all it is, three episodes.
Episode one, when you were getting your baseline, did you make sure to make it so you didn't
really try that hard in episode one so it looks like you make a lot of progress?
I would like to say yes, I did try hard. It's going to look like... It's still going to
be, if you're watching, you know a long way away
Okay
Is there a chance to dunkumentary ever gets taken off air?
Why why would it?
Someone just realizes they can't dunk. No, okay. No, listen, I'm in it the bets out there. It's 20
It's it would be funny if you did if you just got a Hank doppelganger with insane hops to finish the documentary
Yeah, we're going to all lengths. We're gonna we're gonna all lengths
I'm gonna give it my all to be able to dunk. I think I'm gonna be able to do it
I know the haters and you guys and everyone in the world doesn't think I'm going to but I I welcome that
I welcome me in haters. I think we're being
Realisticers. No, also you don't when you say that sentence you that's redundant. Well, you could put us in with the haters
True the haters and you guys makes it seem like we're not haters. We are I just want that clear. All right fair
Yeah, I think I think we're just a much needed dose of reality. There are some times where we just hate for sure
I think in this case we're showing Hank tough love because we don't want him to get his little heartbroken
He's not able to do it.
Or his ACL or something like that.
Yeah.
That's the only way that's going to stop me is injury.
That's the only way you're not going to dunk?
Yeah.
Is injury?
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling good.
I'm feeling real ashamed that you pulled a LeBron and faked an injury.
No, we'll see.
Episode two, I mean, again, episode one, go watch it.
Let me know what you think.
Probably not the best because it was the first day.
It's the baseline.
It's the beginning stages.
And then hopefully as the episodes go,
people are going to start to believe.
And then I make it happen.
So Hank told me that he was training at a trampoline gym
a couple of weeks ago.
And I thought for a second that he was just
like dunking like in a slam ball.
Yeah.
It turns out he's training in a building that's shared by a tramp.
So he's not actually using trampolines to dunk.
But that made us think, like, maybe he
should be using trampolines yeah so he can
like he can feel the confidence yeah and know that he's able to dunk and know what it feels like this is all irrelevant to my fire okay go on in the footage uh you know there's some training
footage where i was i was super sweaty and i saw a shot and above my head shot where I was bent down. Oh no.
And there was a huge spot.
Yeah.
Can I see?
So then I've been getting that,
I got mad at everyone being like,
how could you not tell me how,
because you're not telling me.
And they're like, it's not the case.
Can I see?
Let's see.
Been down further.
I think it's the start.
You're gonna be bald.
It's the start.
You are going to be bald. But Hank, it's, it's okay for now.
What you saw is actually, it's the same camera angle that coaches get on the sidelines all
the time, especially in like college football.
You can spot a college coach going bald like 10 years before it actually happens.
Yeah, no, you're, you're good for now.
You're good for now.
You're good for a couple of years, but if you wanted to, maybe we could take a flight
over to Turkey together.
I'm going to start.
Yeah.
I'm gonna start trying to do some preemptive. There's people that have
things that I can do now to maybe try and prevent this from happening. I'm probably going to stop
wearing a hat as much. It was, it was scary. What I just sat there and stared for like 30 minutes.
Okay. What about your mom's father? A head of hair?
I not sure. He was not, you know, he passed away before I was born. I
can find out, but I don't text. Yeah, that's, that's it right there. That's, that's the
jeans. Yeah. Oh, it worked. But I have the exact same hair as I look exactly like my
dad and my dad and my uncles all have the same, but it doesn't matter style of hair.
It's make the text, send the text, ask if Pop Pop had a head of hair before he died.
My Pop Pop was a cue ball from the time he was 40.
I'm actually pretty sure he was 40.
Oh no.
That's bad, Hank.
Yeah.
But you will be bald.
The good news is that you can do something about it.
If you do, if you take like the Finsteride drops and you take the minoxidil or whatever,
I'm acting like, oh, maybe that minoxidil or whatever I'm acting
like oh maybe that's the name of it I'm just trying to guess. For a guy like you you can
you can make that runway like six seven years if you want. Yeah I'm gonna start I'm gonna
do everything I'm gonna do some research to everything I can. I did read a study it was
I read a study I can't be bald I'm already. Yeah I read a study that said that it's directly
related like if you have facial hair it increases
your balding because all your like hair follicles are going to your face. You should probably
just shave your beard. Yeah, not science. It's true. All the chemicals are your body's just
using all of its energy to for your chin. Yeah, you you need to you need to redirect that. Think about this. Well, if
the Celtics win the championship, I am going to shave my head. So maybe I'll get a taste
of what that looks like. Okay. So let's go back to the beard shaving because you know,
you could just shave it. I'm not doing that. And then leave it bald. I probably won't be
doing that either unless it's overwhelmingly positive responses, which I don't think. I'll
be positive. You're a hater. You already said you're right. Yeah, I am on some things not all things. I don't want you to go bald
Actually, that was a lie. I do no, I don't
Absolutely do I really want you to go ball. What you get a taste of it
You don't you don't want that on anybody else. No. Yeah. Yeah, you know, well, I don't want you to go bald
I mean it's happening. It's a big difference. That's what I'm trying to I'm trying to I'm rooting for you trying to recruit Hank to
Get something done about it. I'm down to go to Turkey
I know it would be a fun we could all shit we could just maybe hit up or lack
What if I go with you guys get a Brazilian butt lift?
You would be able to sit down. Yeah. No. Yeah, you gotta take the plane back
Yeah, you gotta sit down like face first in the seat on the way back load up
That would be sick. We just got a shitload of plastic surgery get her our jaws chiseled
Oh, yeah, get some peck implants. Okay. All right new us. All right 50 your fire first
I don't think that's a fire fresh yet
No, it is it is seeing that for the first time. He's everyone that I've talked to said
It's not go ball. You fucking shut up. It is you're fine Hank. Just keep living your life how you're living it
No, I don't even worry about it. No hats. No cat.
That's a future you problem.
That will never happen.
I don't buy the whole not wearing a baseball hat thing.
Do you think it's the steroids you're taking to try to dunk?
I have not got to that point yet.
That would be a fall thing.
A great admission there.
Wait, Hank, you might have to stop golfing as much
then if you're not wearing hats.
Maybe you've golfed so much that you've worn so many hats that it's rubbed your hair off.
I've just always been a hat guy.
Yeah, no more.
No more.
Okay.
All right.
My Fire Fest of the Week, I got a couple.
Blake just turned one, so now I'm feeling old and nostalgic and looking at puppy pictures
and being like, oh damn, I really missed my puppy.
I wish I had a puppy again.
That's always sad, seeing your dog grow older.
Obviously, he's not old at all. Yeah's one he's one but you miss the puppy
I did I did like your Instagram post you I don't know if you did it intentionally or maybe had a moment of weakness
But you did like the the journalist like having a baby being like new addition to the roster
Thinking about giving them a new second year contract second year contract. Yeah, I don't know
Is there was it was I was thinking like what would
What would like field yates? Yeah, right about about the birthday of his child
So yeah intentionally that actually blake's dealing with injury issues right now
So we're gonna wait for his health reports to come back and then there might be injury concerns. So we're holding on
Yeah, you got to check the medicals. Yeah check the medicals first on he'll be fine
He'll actually be fine long term not worried about worried about my my real fire fest of the week though is
So I'm having a party at my house for the Kentucky Derby
Mm-hmm, and I sent an invite to the part of my take group chat last night. Mm-hmm
Silence I replied silence from the group chat. I replied about the other thing about the other thing. Yeah, I was connected to the
That counts as a lot of people so we have no one else reply
We have like an unspoken bond usually on this show where we'll invite each other to do things
I know that big cats gonna be busy doing family stuff on weekends, but I'm still gonna try to pop
I'm still gonna try to pop by yeah, and if he is a kids friendly. Yeah kid friendly, okay
I might try to pop by okay
but utter silence and the replies and
Okay, bring my try to Popeye. Okay, but utter silence and the replies and then then I stared at my phone for like two minutes
Afterwards like there's guy I can't see dots because it's a group chat and
No replies and typing right and if you guys don't want to come get hammered with me on Saturday I understand our pod. Would you say I'm off the sauce? Oh
Did you just reply right now? Yeah, okay, you just replied right now. Hanks off the sauce. So nobody wants to get
drunk with me on Saturday, regrettably. But that's fine.
I'll try to defend everyone here maybe. Like that. Usually we're
like a week of kind of guys. Yeah. We got a whole other
weekend before. So maybe that was what happened. Again, I did
reply to the connected to the connected thing. Yeah along with it
We just counted as a reply. That's fine. I guess I'm the only guy that likes to get drunk on this podcast
It's sad. It's sad what it's I am I actually was thinking about this morning that I'm gonna try to stop by
I just gotta figure out which kid can handle it. Yeah, my parents come sure
Do they have hair?
Yeah, Okay.
Yeah, bring them by.
Yeah, we'll check out your dad's hair.
Maybe we will.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, that's my fault.
Jake, Max, and memes are still utterly silent.
I like beers.
Okay.
So why didn't you reply?
It's not at PFT's.
I just missed that text.
Missed it.
Got it.
I missed it, but I'm in for some beers that's fine there's a lot of
other people coming we if you don't want to come you don't know don't don't shame
me into this I've gotten beers with you before I've got beers yeah so as memes
memes yeah I actually love getting drunk with memes I know you don't you hate it
no I hate taking mushrooms yeah okay that's the worst getting drunk with memes is the best because he'll
just sit there and he'll smile and he'll look at you
I just in the in my darkest 30 seconds after I sent that out and nothing came back
I was like there's definitely a side chat where they're like, so we're all not going to PFTs house for this party, right?
Okay, again, I did I'm not I'm not gonna lie. I had I still don't know I went back to try and look for this
Text I don't remember this text. I thought I answered what time beam saw
The answer yeah, I answered. I this is the first I heard of it Hank
I'm a bachelor party. It might be next week or the weekend after you know what that was
I might have a bachelor party to actually you don't know when it is one of the weekends of May yeah
Wait, which weekend is this again next weekend? Oh, no, I have a wedding. Okay. I do
I'm gonna try to come.
That's fine. It's gonna be a hell of a party.
Yeah. I'll maybe try to dress up one of my kids.
Would it be offensive to dress them up like a jockey?
As a horse?
No. I would think they would be the jockey. I'd be the horse.
Okay, yeah.
Right?
Or get a horse where...
Size difference?
One's the front, one's the back.
We could do that.
That'd be good, too.
We could come up with something very fun
All right, my fire fest
Well, I've to they're connected. It's similar to the passing of time PFT
It's it's gonna be made it's actually after you sent that text is like, oh fuck it's gonna be May's Justin Timberlake
It's gonna be May or Hank. Well, we already taped the draft
We're gonna be 40 really soon. Yeah. Yeah. It's true.
This year is flying by.
It's true. This is the last year that we have to get in shape.
Yeah. This is just a check-in. This is a check-in. We won't worry about it until maybe the fall,
but like it popped in my head and I was like, shit.
Yeah. Do you have a list of things you want to do before you're 40? We should make a list.
Yeah, we should make a list. Let's do, let's do a bucket list this summer. Get hair implants, shave Hank's
beard. Yeah, that's on there. Yep. I'm so obsessed with my beard. Why are you so obsessed
with your, you know why I'm so upset. Hey, would you rather, would you rather go completely
bald or never be able to grow facial hair again because I know my answer bald yep
100% I really want hey, I want max to go I saw a picture of max with the soul patch
I want to go back to that so bad. I mean just the look is so fucking good
Literally never popped max wearing a hat at softballs of strange visual. Oh, yeah
Yeah, max you say that you say that you'd rather go bald as a guy
That's got a full head of hair that will probably never go bald.
So you saying it doesn't really mean that much.
But I still mean it.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah.
My other Fire Fest is kind of related to it passing of time, but we talked about Caleb
Williams and the draft at the beginning of the show and how excited I am.
I taped a video interviewing my son today, being like,
you don't know how awesome everything's gonna be,
and that video could be bad.
Like, 10 years.
You could really be setting him up for failure.
Yeah, but it also could be sick.
Imagine if Kale wins five Super Bowls,
and I'm like, hey, look, I have the video
of the day he got drafted.
Yeah.
Of us talking about it.
Yeah, he's always gonna have that to look back on. He's gonna blame you. Yeah Yeah. Of us talking about it.
Yeah, he's always gonna have that to look back on. He's gonna blame you.
Yeah.
For getting him excited about this.
I might be getting ahead of myself.
No, it's fine.
Everything's gonna be so good for me and you.
Yeah.
I've been thinking about Caleb Williams.
There's a player that he reminds me of.
Prince?
A little bit of a diva off the court.
Really big into the fashion life, the pop star life. It star life a can't miss prospect Travis no doubt number one Travis Kelsey Ben Simmons. Oh
No, they hit yeah Simmons was the next LeBron if Caleb Williams couldn't throw the ball
Then yeah, that would be a direct Corbett Simmons was a can't miss prospect
No USC would have gone to the tournament if it was a 64 team tournament. Spence Simmons did not. That's factor fiction.
Simmons did not make March Madness. Caleb Williams did not make the final four. If both
teams missed the playoff. No, if there was, if there was expanded playoffs, he would have
made the playoffs of his first year at USC. That's a fact. But he did it. But they that's because the playoffs were
just four teams you idiot. You see what I'm saying. The March Madness could have been
four teams could have been 64 teams could have been 75 teams. Ben Simmons would have
made it. Okay. What is that. What was that look to memes. This fine. What was that look
to me. I'm just saying like Ben Simmons think about it think about Ben Simmons
I thought about it and it bothers me
Okay, if I'm being honest with you it bothered me very much. Max you're wearing your scars too deep though. Not everyone's Philly
No, yeah
I just I just remember like the sixes were so bad and then there was like Ben Simmons is coming and I was like
Ben Simmons is gonna be our Lord and Savior and he's kind of his mic
Did you just cut your own mic
No, I mean I'm being I'm being honest with you max if I thought it was a bad take I
Wouldn't be bothered, but I'm bothered so it's not the worst take I do like the Prince comparison though
Yeah, because I was like Prince is when I saw that, I was like,
Prince is one of the greatest songwriters of the time.
Right.
It's like, oh yeah, he's Prince in quarterback form.
Okay, sign me up.
Pretty much just saying he's feminine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Let's finish show with numbers.
We have special guests, Patrick and Michaela in the booth
because they won the chorus.
Like, what'd you guys win?
We won a chance to watch taping with you guys.
Okay. But would you remember the contest?
I got a Facebook or an Instagram ad. I signed up one time. Someone reached out, asked for
my social security number. I thought I would get this down.
I love it.
All right, so this is good though.
Proves that when we run these contests,
we actually do have winners.
So Patrick and Michaela, thank you for being here.
You guys, numbers, I'll let you guys start.
26.
26.
Michaela?
Pick a number.
Any number.
17.
17.
Oh, OK.
40.
I'm going for you, Hank.
23. 20. I wish they picked me. I'll go for you, Hank. 23. I'll go 13 for Caleb Williams.
We should have texted him and been like, hey, pick 20. That's fine.
Okay. Where's Pug? No Pug?
Pug's at his desk. Alright. He's in his crate.
He's already won twice.
13 for Caleb Wood.
Patrick, you have what, 26? We can't lie, 17.
Oh!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Yes!
Shut up, you Ben Simmons fat fuck!
This is the best sign of all time on Draft Night!
What number is that?
Oh my god
Bow to me bow to me what number is that? That's number 13
That's a lucky number three. That's 13. I mean you guys are in shock and you're also mad Max is mad Hank. You're mad
How are you mad? I'm not mad. I'm mad. I'm wondering how you're mad cuz max you said that you get it before me Yeah, remember when you said you'd get it before me
I'm when I got it 20 might not be you fucking piece 20 might not be in that second time
I got it sad max took away my first time and then he led me to this glorious moment on kale Williams draft day
13 comes up. That's huge. That's a huge day
draft day 13 comes up that's huge that's a huge day he's gonna win a million super are you at all concerned with the fact that you hit it on the most unlucky number of all time no 13 is a lucky
number 13 is a fucking great number i just i listen pft hank you guys i have no i have no beef with
you guys here uh i understand the stunt this fucking fat fuck behind the glass who took away my first number
because he's such a fucking baby and I was I be loser saying that was me and
what happened to lay on what happened I said I will get the number before you do
and what did I do what did I do max you got it? Yeah, thank you
Congrats congrats on 13. I mean Caleb Williams. This is that's that's the greatest sign of all time
That's the greatest sign of all time. It was 76 when we did one with the mr. Mr. Parr live
Live picks this morning doesn't count. So what is that? Wait, you did it good for it's good vibes
Get a good practice., good vibes an extra ball
No, it was for it was we always we do one for the mr.
Para live streams wait so you should call the the para Olympics who has gotten it Hank me me
Pug choice Jake Shane
Just isn't just me and memes Max. I have not even max have you ever gotten the number no I want you to ask BFT. I was have not even max have you ever gotten the number no
I want you as pft. I was just asking you max have you ever gotten the number
Pft. No, I'm not saying so the question now. I've never gotten this no Hank. Do you want to ask him?
I don't feel like why are you just asking me? This is not how this goes
Yeah, this is how it goes pft is gonna get it before you too
Yeah, yeah, no you're not allowed to just sing me out Max, you have to understand the way this narrative is going right now.
I'm definitely going to get it before. Yes, you know, I don't think 20s in there. I got
to check. Yeah. Yeah. That's all the first. This is exactly what Hank used to do. That's
loser talk. He used to be like, oh, that number's not in there. Memes hasn't gotten it in either city yet. Who cares? Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,'m gonna get it, but I'm worried like what if I don't get it, but I'm gonna get it
I saw I'm sorry. I really suck if I didn't but I'm definitely gonna get it before you
I'm sorry reacted that way it was really a hundred percent directed at max
Just so you PFT and Hank understand that was not the bow to me was to max because you we can play back the tape when
He said he's gonna get it before me and I said no no way I'm gonna do it the hard way and what I do
Fucking Caleb Williams what I do max you got it. I already told you you got it. Have you gotten it?
No, thank you. I already told you you got it. Thank you. I was going to circles here. Yeah, I know I could do it forever
I'm actually gonna we're gonna I would like to max. I'm actually going to, we're going to, I would like to, Max,
I have a meeting with you after.
We need to talk.
BFD, love you guys.
Say it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
BFD, you should say it.
We have a meeting after.
You guys have a meeting in a second,
and I'll let you guys get your meeting.
Yeah.
But before I say it, I just want to do
a counting of everybody in this room.
Hank, you did get it.
I did get it.
I was the first to get it.
OK.
You're not allowed to do this.
No, I'm updating my, don't tell me that I'm not. He's allowed he's allowed to do whatever he's down here. He's got to update the limo
I'm putting it into the spreadsheet right Jake has got a joke. Okay. Thank you. I was gonna ask about that Jake got it
Hank you said that you have I have yeah big cat you have I have with kale Williams number
You got it with Caleb Williams number. Okay pug. Have you gotten it? Yes pug Shane. Have you gotten this Shane got it?
Max have you gotten this? Yes, pug. Shane, have you gotten this? Shane got it. Max, have you gotten this?
Nope. Oh, so he's the only one. I typed in yes, now I have to. He's the only one. I thought
you had, so I had to. Damn. This isn't true. This doesn't work when you lie. Again, PFT
will get it. That's not how this works. Yes, it is. Max, ask me if I've got it. PFT, have
you got it? Not yet. No. I'm about to. Yeah. No, Max. You said no nine
times. You want to do this again, Max? No, because I've already done it once with you.
I told you I'd get it before you and what happened? I got it. Yeah. So here's another
one. PFT is going to get it before you. We'll see. Guaranteed. We'll see. Guaranteed. We'll
see. I don't know about memes though. No, memes doesn't count. I've already vowed to
never get it. Yeah. Memes doesn't count. I've already never get it. Yeah memes doesn't count
This is it's gonna be a mat. Someone's gonna have to fire up the Twitter account
Maybe repurpose the Hank as Hank got it has Max gotten it
There's three people in here who haven't gotten it. Yeah, but we'll get it. I know I said
This guy right here. My my dear friend longtime co-host is one of the hardest-working guys. I know
He will get it
That's what he does. I'm also not a loser anymore exactly
So the things have changed he's gonna get on Sunday night. Yeah, I'm not a loser okay
Yeah, we're winners. We're not losing on this side of the glass. We're fucking winners now
I think every everything about our lives is gonna switch up in terms of a winning mentality
Which you sadly do not understand.
Yeah, take your Ben Simmons shit and shove it up your ass.
Yeah, everybody reminds Max of a player that ended up not being as good as he thought. When you're a hammer the entire world's a nail.
Love you guys.
Patrick and Michaela, did you enjoy that? Think on me, think on me, think on me, think on me
I'll be gone in a day or two
Needless to say, I've already said it
But I'll be in some other way stolen away, slowly learning that life is okay.
Say after me, it's for better to be safe and sorry. It's for do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I'll be there, I'll be there, I'll be there