Red Scare - Yemeni Such Cases
Episode Date: February 7, 2024The ladies discuss the latest spate of polyamory press and rank the fellas (Houthi pirate, Sol Brah, Timothee Chalamet, Jacob Elordi, etc)....
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I have a recording already, okay.
We're back?
Are we back?
We're back.
I'm back so soon.
Sorry.
We're smoking.
Did you light it?
Oh my.
I said, oh god.
Damn.
So this is already off too.
I know.
I just let the cigarette backwards and then I'm back.
I'm back.
I'm back. I'm back. I said, oh god. Damn.
So this is already off too.
I just let the cigarette backwards
and it's already off too.
I'm really bad at this.
I'm such a loser that when I do that,
you still smoke it?
Well, you can't, but sometimes
I'll take a pair of manicure scissors
and cut the burnt part off so you can.
Because I don't think you can
You don't want to put your mouth on that. I
Mean you could I guess but no, no, it's good to
Practice a philosophy of up and down so it's all we don't like abundance. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I will don't
Not try to like save every like bit and Bob I mean, I'm really I've been I went shopping today
How'd you get?
Well
When I saw a Ritzia last night
Mm-hmm
Drunk girl or it's yeah, I was like a Ritzia is kind of looking good
So I went to first I went to brandy just to check things out
Not a lot going on in there.
Nothing notable.
Very good to know.
Um, bike shorts.
Cause I like to free bleed into the bike shorts.
So I almost bought a couple pairs of those, but then I couldn't be bothered.
Then I went to Eritzia.
I tried on a couple like coats and then ended up not getting any because kind of there is
something about her once you're in there you're like oh I don't know just makes you feel bad
yeah and then I saw like a bunch of NYU students wearing like that exact kind of coat and I was
like it's so good I didn't buy like that.
It's just like such a distinct look.
Yeah.
It's such a distinct palette.
It's like, people really know when you're wearing Ritzia,
I think.
It's a very Asian girl palette.
Did you see that photo of Drake
where he was dressed like he was shopping at Ritzia?
Is he's Canadian?
Yeah, it's like a long
coat and wide leg pants
and like, uggs.
Damn.
Eritzia, like, you have to take my word for it.
It used to be so good.
I know.
Like, you have pieces. You're the only person I've ever seen.
I'm like, what are you wearing?
Like, Eritzian, you look so good
and it looks so cool. But they're I mean, like, what are you wearing? Like a red scene, you look so good and it looks so cool.
But they're from like seven, eight years ago
or something like that.
When they first opened and I had no money
and I would like blow my like shitty paycheck on nice items.
And what they've done is like really cynical
but predictable where they just reissue similar cuts
but in cheaper scratchier materials
but charging more money.
Yeah, and like yoga, it's a lot of like athleisure and like drapey sweaters because they're just
cheaper to make.
Like Cropped.
Like Batwing Sweets.
Yeah exactly, everything like sucks.
Yeah, it's hideous.
And then they're like, this is cashmere. And you can like feel like it just like,
you could feel like the synthetic like additives that they use,
like polyester, elastane or whatever.
Like it just like sparks.
Yeah.
It's like staticky.
I actually did get Adorezzio on sale.
A white stretched lace turtleneck,
cause I think it might be fun to layer.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
I have the T-shirt version of that.
That's a good piece.
Yeah.
And it's weirdly high quality.
And it's like, it's warm, even though it's like mesh.
Cause it's so, the fabric doesn't breathe at all.
And then I went to Acne Studios about a scarf.
Nice.
Cause I always do kind of buy these like flimsy,
uniclose scarves.
Yeah.
And last night at dinner,
Cody clowned on me for my Palm Angels scarf,
which I only wear cause I like that like fascist font.
But I get how yeah, I am wearing like palm angels.
What is palm angels and why is it so expensive?
Cause it's like for rappers and like new money people.
It's for boops like us.
And some, I don't know, I do feel weirdly drawn to it
as a brand and like wish they would,
hey, send me like, I'm up for it.
Like I kind of like, I kind of fuck with, with y'all.
Yeah.
And so yeah, I finally invested in like a nice scarf.
Cool.
Cute.
I think that's it. Cool, cute.
I think that's it. Oh, and then I went to, yeah, Bar P.D.
Oh, nice.
I just had a nice soho day.
Yeah.
Were you hungover?
No, I was really productive today.
I did laundry and like, I don't know, I drank a lot,
but I only drank wine.
Yeah, I did laundry today too.
I did my errands.
Yeah.
Fuck, what was I gonna say?
I also went shopping, but I went to like, mango.
No.
I went to the scent bar.
You should get sponsored by.
Oh.
D.S. and Durga and just like sprayed myself with scents.
I bought a bunch of samples and was up late last night smelling them.
Yeah, that's always a nice treat. I would love to be sponsored by like mango or Zara.
Yeah, so that time we got some corporate sponsorships around here.
I mean, Frack didn't want us, dude.
And I still use their freckle pen.
I know.
I know.
I was cleaning out my makeup drawer, just like throwing heaps of gross, expired makeup
in the garbage.
And I kept the freck blushers that I love to like smear on my face.
It's a nice product.
Yeah.
And like the stupid freckle pen. I be using'd be using the park, you know, you know, I know those aren't real freckles girl
You know, I didn't get some sun
That what happened to that brand they're going strong and Sephora constantly shoplifted
Yeah, it's people, it's in demand.
Interesting.
For the freckle, girls love drawing freckles on their face.
Still, to this day.
Zoomers love it.
It's like, that's the e-girl look.
I follow a lot of like makeup accounts.
Yeah.
And that's, you know.
I'm gonna start drawing acne on my face.
Put Zid sticker.
That's the thing that, that's like some weird social signaling thing that I like
don't understand when zoomer girls wear the pimple patches out in public.
I saw a shop girl where I went.
Yeah, they love to do that.
It's brave and braids. It's like that polyamory woman who got photographed with her 11 lines and Harry
forearms on fleek that I just like cannot get over
It's brave, but I think it's also
Practical and clever because it's like when you do I
Haven't had a
Cystic zit in a while praise Allah
But when you do it's like yeah, yeah, you don't wanna touch it.
You do kinda wanna put a fucking sticker on it.
And like, it's kind of better than it just like
getting more inflamed and gross
from like being exposed to the elements.
But do those things even work?
Like it would seem, it seems counterintuitive
to like, seal off the acne
because aren't you supposed to let it dry out?
The, well, once you puncture it, this is gross.
The Kosar X ones and some of the other Korean brands,
they do really just like,
especially if you wear them overnight,
they'll just like suck all that gunk out of you.
I don't know how they do it.
Yeah, that's cool.
These Koreans.
Good to know, yeah.
The Vanguard.
Yeah, I'm still working on glass skin.
Yeah.
But wait, look at my nails.
They look good.
No biting.
I've got a manicure today and I've only been biting them like a little bit.
I'm doing amazing.
We're building in 2020. Yeah. And you me, you know.
No, I'm a goal digger this year.
A goal digger?
As per those like dating app ads on the subway.
That's me.
You just ovulated and he ghosted.
Find your plan B on our new app.
Oh, well, yeah.
So polyamory is back in a big way.
Always in kind of in the news in the background,
but last this previous week,
it seemed to be there was a concerted push. in the news in the background, but last this previous week,
it seemed to be there was a concerted push.
Yeah, so I have a question about that.
Because virtually everyone agrees that polyamory
is like gross and cringe.
I don't know.
And virtually no one has ever met an actually poly person
in the flesh.
So who are these articles for?
It almost feels like they're designed to make people who are not in polyamorous relationships
but who have similarly unsatisfying and unrealistic and like unfulfilling romantic situations
feel better about their lot in life.
Because you can always be like, at least I'm not Polly.
At least I'm not one of those like hideous fat people
I see on the internet.
I mean, I think Polly's real.
I think there's inflation.
Yeah, but I think it's still like a very fringe
and marginal practice.
I won't even call it a movement, because it's not.
No, but they are trying to frame it like that.
And I think you're right.
And I think it's also partly to break people's spirits.
Like you will eat the bugs, you will go in the polycule.
Because yeah, because I like reading these articles,
especially the ones in the cut like gave me this like
queasy feeling.
They like made me feel so sick and bad.
I know that's like no less than three people sent me the
article about the lady from the New York Times.
And we're like, yo, you got to read this.
You're going to feel so bad.
And I was like, no, why?
And I had to read it a second time for the pod because I read it when it first came out
like a week ago.
But did you notice also in the New York magazine spate of articles, there was like a cover story
and also a supplementary guide?
I read the guide and then I read several of the other things
that were linked to in the guide.
But it almost felt like a PR campaign
for the new Polly dating app field.
They kept mentioning that.
Which I hadn't heard of prior, obviously.
Yeah, exactly.
But yeah, all of a sudden it was like, so we went on field.
Like it's like when people just started using Zoom
and no one had ever used it before.
And then COVID hit and we're all using this new technology.
Yeah, and like, it really does feel like punching down,
but not even because you're punching down
at this group of people who again virtually doesn't exist?
Well, I think I think there are more open relationships
than prior definitely and I was well, yeah, there's a lot of quote
situationships, but I think that that this is because
Well, yeah, like that feeling I'm describing
is I was like, I was like, why does this make me feel so bad? And I was like, Oh,
like, this is how like cucks feel, you know, like this is that cuckolding
feeling. And I feel, I think a lot of people are just in their life feel like
cucked, and there's nothing they can do about it So they like eroticize it instead and make it seem like they get their wires. It's like they're a preference
But it's it's gross and bad and everyone like instinctually knows it. Yeah, and in all of the accounts you read
they will
kind of casually in passing mention that
Yes, it is very involved and
exhausting to keep up a poly lifestyle, especially if you have a career and or are a parent.
Yeah, you like and so I have to think like how much of this is
really like transferring your dissatisfaction
at other non-romantic non-sexual aspects of your life
into this thing that's like a formal other non-romantic, non-sexual aspects of your life
into this thing that's like a formal,
like organizational structure.
It's almost like Dark World AA.
Well, there's like, yeah, there's a cover
of someone who's like, yeah, I mean, it's like,
you don't, I don't do get as much reading done.
And it's like, yeah, you like can't have a hobby.
Your hobby is like being
poly which also is like gross because then they're dating within a pool of
people who have no interests and are like NPCs basically. Yeah they're all like
tech workers or only fan slots or like these weird just like internet based
lifestyles.
Well, there was like an Esther Peral interview she conducted with like a couple that was
in an open relationship.
That was, I kind of, it got a little fuzzy and confusing.
But they both, the man especially was like from Ecuador and like he saw his dad get
murdered and stuff.
Like he was like an illegal alien.
It just seemed like I was like,
all these people are like so broken, you know?
Everyone seems so like just broken.
It's like being a cartoon dog in the burning building.
This is fine.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm gonna pull, I have a bunch of quotes, but I liked
Taco's take on it.
Yeah.
Where he was like, he said it really well, he said that like polyamory is the desire to punish your partner, rubbing it
into their face, making them pretend it doesn't
bother them or make them jealous. Like that's the kink, that's the fetish. And of course,
as we know, plenty of non-poly relationships are also about punishing your partner.
Of course. But I think that's part of it. And the other part is, it is like a BDSM
relationship. Like someone is always going to feel cocked and like,
It is like a BDSM relationship. Someone is always gonna feel cocked
and like the woman who wrote the woman with the 11 lines.
I don't know her name.
Her name is like Mary Rodin Winter.
She wrote a book.
Yeah, a memoir about her poly lifestyle
and she has plans to write a follow-up book
that's about her female relationship.
Who asked her to do this?
Why'd you do this? Why'd you?
Yeah, I don't know.
Why the fuck did this bitch just write
like a salacious memoir?
And you would think also that-
Bring great shame to her family.
That Pauly is something that would benefit men
and would be in their interest
because they get their pick of women.
But actually it seems to be for the most part
that it's women steering these arrangements. I can't tell. It's hard to say, but there's
always like, it really depends. Yeah, women are more, I think a man will just have what
is cheat on you. Right. Yeah. And it feels um, which is preferable. This is a phenomenon that's like based on unbounded unchecked female sexual freedom
coupled with, um, classically feminine modes of like, uh, schedule management.
It is disgusting.
Like they're always like, they all have shared calendars
and like share their locations
and like check in with each other.
What a night.
Yeah.
The long house.
Yeah.
What else?
A sailor was actually speculating that polyamory
will become like the next big thing
when people who lack the jealousy gene, like sluts and tech nerds team up with quote more tainy and refugees to make it into anti-racism crusade.
I don't really know how that's supposed to work or where he's going with that.
It's like his review of Napoleon. He's like the underlitness of the scenes allowed them to smuggle in more black and brown extras.
Not everything is racial, Steve.
But I don't think it's the jealousy gene they're lacking.
I don't think anybody lacks the quote, jealousy gene,
whatever that means.
It's just that these are people who
enjoy following little autistic rules that
spell out what most like normal sexually
active adults take for granted. Yeah and they it's not that they're not jealous
yeah it's that they're not they're missing something else. Yeah I think that
it's not really again about maximizing sex or intimacy, it's about managing anxiety.
Who would even want that?
Honestly.
Like why introduce?
It also, but it seems like it introduces
more anxiety into your life.
Cause you're angelic.
Everyone's tormented and there's all these variables.
And it's like,
and you all have to pretend it's okay.
That's the real kink. It's not just punishing or torturing your partners.
Well you know what else I really think is that also people are just too scared to
break up with someone. They like actually can't, they have such bad like boundaries
and communication skills that because there are in that like in the glossary
article there were instances right
where someone like opens up the relationship where they take on a third and then they end
up like married to that other person.
Like instead of just breaking up with someone and dating other people because that's scary
being single, people want to be in this constant kind of like, they're just so like psychologically
brittle they can't bring themselves to like actually do anything. want to be in this constant kind of like, they're just so like psychologically brittle,
they can't bring themselves to like actually do anything.
Yeah, like act like actually have a real conflict.
Yeah.
And actually come to like a quote final solution.
And I get it.
It's hard.
Yeah.
And the hardest part, I think is the the fear that you're gonna have to live
with the regret of making the wrong decision.
Right, so you wanna string this person along
until you're sure that you wanna like,
marry your other boyfriend or whatever.
Which seems like it could work in theory,
but as you mentioned,
just breeds more jealousy and resentment.
And like, one thing that I've noticed
with greater age and wisdom is like,
when you're young, you have this fear
that people will like leave and abandon you.
As you get older, you realize that people
just stay in your life forever, which is the real fear.
Like you can't get rid of them.
So you don't even have to be Pauly.
Because they're just gonna be around forever.
Yeah, they're just gonna be around forever.
And like, the door is always going to be quote open.
Yeah.
So I don't understand like the impulse to kind of like formalize
that relationship.
I mean, just have an affair.
Like we've said, we've said this before.
It really is just why even cheating is the best part
of having sex?
So you're telling me you're having sex
and you're not cheating?
Like, why are you doing that?
Yeah, and that's obviously like the preferable model,
even though it's not perfect.
It's like monogamy within fidelity.
Another model that I'm basically sympathetic to
is like the gay guy model where you have like
one main relationship but then have like casual sex
with random strangers that you never really bring into your
life.
You kind of have to be a gay guy to do that,
it doesn't work.
I'm so jealous actually.
But why have multiple official relationships with people
that just seems tiresome and like a headache?
I know.
Like having one boyfriend is hard enough or one girlfriend or whatever.
It's like men are like, man, I wish like polygamy.
My hair.
And I could have like a harem of three or four wives like Islam style.
And it's like, you don't want to deal with one woman's PMSing and drama and competition,
let alone three of them or four of them.
You met a woman before.
Are you crazy?
In all of these accounts, I've never encountered a single man who practices polyamory, who's like,
quote, an alpha and not a cock or an ally.
It's just not the way things are done.
I would personally be so steamed if some guy
who I was in love with was like,
you know what, you go do you.
Yeah, let's open up our-
No strings attached, like go have sex with whoever you want.
Like so you don't love me?
I would freak out.
I would fucking flip.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, yeah, it does make me feel.
Yeah, people just can't, they can't break up with anyone.
They can't bring themselves to have an affair.
So instead they have to have these like therapy, talk style conversations where they're like,
I have a crush.
The thought of these, Mart was right.
What did he say?
That's one of Mart's big missions is just like showing
my relationships are like doomed.
And they really, it's like-
I mean, you're doomed if you do and doomed if you don't.
Just thinking about, yeah, like what people's actual intimate lives are like.
I mean, monogamy is an imperfect model and sucks in many ways, but there's also a reason
why it's stood the test of time.
They just can't bring themselves to sin.
Sorry.
Yeah. Well, it dawned on me that aside from-
They don't want to do anything wrong, but like-
Yeah, they can't sit with their guilt.
That's really what it is.
And the other thing about polyamory that dawned on me
was that a lot of these people,
like the woman who wrote the memoir, and like the people
profiled in the other feature, are people who are very like sheltered and inexperienced.
So they're just like, they're literally excited to advertise that they had sex. Fufufu.
Which like most normal people don't need to do because it's implied that you have had
and or are currently having sex.
Fufufu.
Fufufu.
It's implied that like sex is on the table if you want it.
Yeah, we can have sex.
Yeah.
But these people are just like,
they're so enthusiastic overzealous
to announce it, to yell it from the rooftops or whatever.
It's like a muse polyamory, the musical.
I read the cut also profiled
the woman who wrote the ethical slide,
which kind of predates the,
she was articulating these ideas back in the 70s or whatever.
And now she's like 80 and like lives by herself
and like is like still a hippie and claims to be happy,
but I just don't think, I don't know.
I feel like. Well, she's an outlier, but I just don't think, I don't know, I feel like.
Well, she's an outlier, but I would guess
that what happens to most polyamorous people
is that they probably just like at some point
settle down and have a family with like one person.
A lot of these people are old.
Yeah, that's a new thing.
And there's also been like an overbearing attempt
to portray polyamorous people as physically attractive There's also been like an overbearing attempt
to portray polyamorous people as physically attractive because we all know they're not really.
Like these people are hot and I mean hot.
Well, in that, in the New York Times profile of that lady,
in the New York Times profile of that lady,
there was like a photo of them where they were like, people think we're like swingers sitting around
and like probes and it's like, no, they don't.
Yeah, they don't.
And by the way, like swingers?
Swingers are hot.
Are hot.
Yeah, just to-
I randomly weirdly don't ask how not in any creepy sexual capacity have met some
swingers in my time.
And by the time I met them, they were like aging Gen Xers, but you could tell that in
their youth, they were like hot and horny and fit.
They're like people who like to take communal showers because they have nice bodies. Yeah.
They're not like couch potatoes whose flesh has like
welded into their couch.
I mean, who was this woman? Why did she do this? Swingers love like a puka shell necklaces
or heavy silver pendants.
They're into their, they're like,
Solbra.
Yeah, he looks like he could be a soul bra.
Molly wrote in winter.
This is like, well people kept, this is from the article, winter is at her home in Brooklyn.
She has just had sex with her boyfriend while her two children sleep upstairs.
Her husband Stewart consented to her trist, but feeling guilty, she dashes
naked into the kitchen to text him. Don't worry, she writes, he
has nothing on you as a lover. But instead of texting her
husband, she accidentally sends the message to her boyfriend who
leaves in a huff and later breaks up with her. Winter,
devastated, begs her husband to come home to comfort her.
And it's funny that she relays the scenario,
like it's something that merely happened to her,
not something that she like dramatically orchestrated.
Like oops, my bad.
I left that opening paragraph feeling like so bad
for the husband.
But he encouraged her.
I know, and he's like kinkily getting off on it.
He's like, tell me about it.
Once again, men have somehow,
they did it with a sexual evolution,
they're doing it again.
But like, he's just getting off on it
and she thinks she's like empowered.
In control.
This is my favorite line from that profile.
Opening the marriage wasn't just about doing whatever
and whoever she wanted, she said.
She had to cast off internalized sexism
and her tendency to put others' needs before her own.
Issues she worked through in therapy.
What began as a sexual thrill seeking
led unexpectedly to self discovery.
What the fuck is going on in therapy?
And also what the fuck does that mean?
Why are these people always trying to find themselves?
She means she has a therapist in her ear being like,
yeah girl, you should have you talking about opening up
your relationship.
It seems like you're putting people's feelings
before your own.
Yeah, you should.
Janice, I trust you to handle this with the grace
and generosity that you're known for. There was a similar moment in the other article or many similar
moments Anna of course one of them was called Anna it's a fake name came and is
their post date care ritual she gave him a big hug and checked in on his day, making sure he felt loved and supported.
After some guy like nutted in her.
That's not true either,
because they all use condoms,
which seems uniquely unfun.
Celebrating your lover while they marry their partner
or while supporting your lover's lover,
while they go through,
is an example
of what Anna calls living life on hard mode, there's a real sense of connection that I
think comes from doing hard things and I'm someone who likes to do hard things.
Sarah explains further.
No, wrong.
And they're always like comforting each other and like checking in with each other in a
way that seems just
cruel.
There's like a weird tidbit of advice that's like from some couple who like made it one
of their autistic roles to not disclose details like the night of but then later to they have
like some window of time.
Yeah, they're like retractingracting the kink. Ew.
Sarah thinks about the way her mother has aged and gotten sick,
all without a strong support system.
Then she remembers how last year Nick's birthday
and her grad school graduation fell on the same day.
She was so stressed out,
but Anna stepped in to make his birthday cake
and throw his party.
I'm just horrible at making birthday cakes.
It's like, if my entire identity hinged
on how I have to be the perfect
birthday cake maker, now I can recognize that's not my love language. If there's any jealousy
about Nick and Anna, it's overshadowed by the realization that Nick and being with Anna is a
fuller version of himself. So it's literally just being a narcissist without any of the guilt or
suffering or personal responsibility. It's amazing. They really figured it out.
Yeah, they're like the Jews, I'm impressed.
I mean, it really,
I've noticed people have a really hard time with sin
and they take it really personally.
That's like, I mean, Christians are mad annoying,
but like people take it so personally when they're just
told that they're sinning, but there are things that are,
there's a reason like adultery is a sin.
I think polyamory is a much worse sin than adultery.
Well, it's built into it.
Yeah, but.
It's still adultery if your husband gives you permission.
You're not supposed to have sex with someone that's not your husband.
That's in itself is like just technically speaking.
Yeah.
The consent doesn't have any bearing on like that still being wrong.
And it's even grosser because when you're committing adultery,
you're the only one sinning.
But now in this situation,
your entire polycule is sinning.
Exactly.
Yeah, like if you have an affair,
then you just have to live with, you know, yourself.
And let's face it, no one's that guilty
about having an affair.
You're only guilty if you get caught.
I think people have, it depends.
I know, I know, I'm just being a...
It depends.
A little shit bitch.
I think, yeah, I mean,
probably the guiltier you feel, the better it was.
You know?
But people are really depriving themselves of that kind of
like, we saw it's or whatever, they're not interested in
actually having these like, complicated human unpleasant
feelings.
Yeah, it's very much like any other technocratic lifestyle thing,
like anti-aging or like evading death,
like you want like a seamless and frictionless existence,
which literally takes all the meaning out of life.
Exactly.
Like I don't believe when these people talk about like,
and then she fell in love with him
and then she fell in love with him.
It's like, what do you mean?
I just felt so happy because I was finding myself.
And I was in love and then we broke up and I was sad, but then I fell in love
with someone else.
It's like, what do these people think love is?
Yeah.
I don't think that they're experiencing something like love.
No, I think that they're experiencing like some infatuation and also titillation.
Narcissistic fulfillment.
Yeah, like need fulfillment.
And I think they're flattered and excited
by the premise that they're having sex
with a lot of people.
But actually the thing that also emerges
is that they're not having sex half the time.
They're negotiating the rules
and or are having steamy make out
sessions and or always using condoms.
Like it just seems like a really like boring and suffocating way to live.
Here's another.
You said it best all along town.
I agree.
So there's no such thing as safe sex. Where is it? I was thinking about this recently because there is like,
um, you can have casual sex and no strings attached, wash your hands of it the next day,
never think about that person again.
People always like to say that it's something only men and not women can do.
I don't think that's true.
But you can never have casual sex
with somebody you're really into.
It's not possible.
And the people that you can have casual sex with,
you probably don't even wanna have sex with
because they're not worth it.
And I do think it is harder for women
because once you hit those back walls,
it's over.
It's over, it's over.
And you're like attached and you're like fuck.
It's like kind of impossible unless you like.
Yeah, and then you're like,
pouty and emotional for like a weaker time.
Well, one of the like glossary terms was solo poly.
That's when you parachute into other people's lives the like glossary terms was so low poly.
Which- That's when you parachute into other people's lives
and relationships and like blow them up.
Ruin them, yeah, tiramisu.
No, a single person pursuing multiple intimate
or sexual relationships while trying to avoid
riding the relationship escalator.
This means you're not particularly interested in,
say, sharing a home or bank account with any one person.
So you're not particularly interested in, say, sharing a home or bank account with anyone person. So you're just single. No one is in this state, like willingly. I
think I think everyone wants to be madly in love. I mean, yeah, no, I agree. Right?
Like, wouldn't people prefer to find someone that they're madly in love with
all the time? Like, yeah, definitely. I think that if you have to be polyamorous,
that means you're not in love with anyone
that you're in the polycule with.
And also, they're not really doing themselves any favors
because all of the terminology is so repulsive and off-putting,
like polyamory and polycule, it sounds like.
It's really infantilizing.
Like a group of lab rats that are being experimented on.
A poly I have associations to like poly pocket. It just all feels very like childish, very like
primary colors, kindergarten coded kind of All of my associations are weirdly like organic
and biological, it's like that disease
where you have a fear of holes.
Like that's a polycule to me.
Yeah, I have that.
Like some weird gross hive or nest,
like literally a longhouse.
What's it called?
Like, I'm not gonna look it up
cause I don't wanna see the picture of that like lotus.
Oh.
It's funny how they used to sell those in like every home goods store and I guess people
would put them on their mantel or whatever.
I know some people really the lotus is not, I do not like the cluster of holes.
Um, yeah, another thing that they sort of also mentioned very casually in passing, like
it's no big is how they negotiate the inevitable like
jealousies and resentments that arise and like sharing your relationship like
when you see your partner engaging in PDA with somebody else or know they're
spending the night with them and it's like, well, that negative response is totally normal and natural.
It's like you're psyche telling you that something's horribly, deeply wrong.
You shouldn't flee from that.
You should embrace it.
Yeah, here we go.
Like it's, it's literally just like a cult surrounded around suppressing your
better instincts.
surrounded around suppressing your better instincts?
Ari says, you had just come out as pansexual.
You said, maybe we can talk about what it would look like for me to start exploring that part of my sexuality.
I was shocked at my own response
because in the past I've been very territorial
and heavily monogamous, but I was like,
yeah, let's start talking about it.
Misty says, you had the moral high ground of, Oh, my wife is coming out to me. This
is me honoring someone's queerness. Literally a few months later at my birthday party, there
was a girl there we were really into and the threesome happened. The next day we were like,
wow, that was fun. Should we download field? I do think the first conversation was deceptively easy.
And then once you get on field, ew.
And like, ugh.
I hate sex nerds, man.
Yeah.
They're just, they're the worst.
They ruin it forever.
They make me not want to have sex
or be in a relationship at all.
That's what it's about.
It's to turn us all into in cells.
It's to break our spirit.
Yeah, I make this a book.
To buck break it.
Yeah, and it's working.
I'm like, ew.
And that guy, that like Treadcath guy, Rod Dreher,
he was tweeting about the original article
about the lady with the memoir.
And he was like, this slut with the help of her slut husband
and I was like no you got it totally wrong these people aren't sluts that's precisely yet they're
just nerds they're nerds yeah they're nerds who either have really poor instincts or are accustomed
to like not listening to their instincts because like half the passion of being in a romantic relationship is being possessive over each other.
Yeah.
And I think in that context, jealousy is a good emotion.
Well, once again, this ethical, the ethical slide, this is her.
She was like, well-backed mom.
She was like Wellbeck's mom. And in the profile of her, it says over the years,
Easton has been a single slut, a partnered slut,
a slut mom, a slut educator, a top slut, a bottom slut,
a slut therapist.
And now an old slut.
It's like, like there is.
And then eventually she'll be a dead slut.
That's why.
The most hated slut on the internet. It's much like there's no casual sex.
There's no such thing as being an ethical slut.
If you're a slut, you're an unethical.
I, as a like legitimate slut,
I really take this as a fensime. My culture is not your cost, they're like legitimate slut I really take this offends me.
My culture is not your cost.
I know, okay?
They're like stealing slut valor.
I did all that stuff out of like emotional problems
and like low self-esteem.
Need for validation, survivalism.
Like, you know, I had real reasons to be a slut.
And you're just doing it because your therapist told you to
like go to hell.
Yeah, you weren't trying to find yourself.
You were trying to flee yourself.
I'm just trying to make the thoughts stop.
You were trying to have like a traumatic out of body
experience, getting raved by some 38 year old with a pencil
deck when you were 23.
No.
It's all coming back to me.
Yeah, was that ethical?
You know what, when I did, when I...
Oh, just live with it, good God.
I mean, but these are also the people
who like brought you the meme version of the trolley problem.
They're fundamentally retarded when it comes to basic trade-offs.
Don't say more.
Monogamy is literally a trade-off.
Much like all of life.
Yeah.
And you get something out of it that you lose when you just, what's the Chesterton's fence?
Chesterton's what? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha You shouldn't blow it up. Get rid of it. Yeah, because it's probably never. I wish leftists would take that advice.
Yeah.
Like, there's always probably a reason someone made a fan.
I know.
Sorry.
My monogamy's kind of been the.
To keep the migrants out.
Exactly.
Maybe Steve is on to something and the future is just like aging email job
girl bosses living in polycules with like African guys who sell knockoff
on Canal Street.
They're honoring their queerness.
I have to pee.
Go off.
I'm gonna go.
I've just been talking into the mic by myself.
Ranting.
But yeah, I was thinking about that opening anecdote where she just had sex with her boyfriend while her two children slept upstairs and then ran down to her husband,
whatever.
And she texted him.
Yeah.
She texted him.
Yeah.
And she talks about how she feels alienated by the fact that polyamory is still something
that's confined to the fringes of society and sees her mission as trying to mainstream
it. But my feeling there is maybe your sense of alienation again is trying to tell you
something positive and productive, like you feel alienated for a reason and it's not the reason
you think it's because you're living your life in a
really gross and
Sinful way. Yeah, you're without acknowledging it. Yeah, you're like a
Treacherous person she looks like a witch. She's got a wretched witch's face.
I was actually, you know, the photo with her hairy forearm
where the guy has like his arm around her neck
or whatever and I was like,
I'm strangling her.
How old are these people?
They're like in their late 40s, early 50s,
something like that.
They don't look that bad.
All things considered, like they have normal BMIs
and like aren't totally hideous,
but they have this like weird deathly pallor,
like a patina of desperation.
And like those 11 lines need to get smoothed out.
Like there's no reason.
This is, I sound like this is my father.
This is my internalized father's voice. Yeah, I mean, like, but there's no reason. This is, I sound like this is my father. This is my internalized father's voice.
Yeah, I mean, like, but there's no reason for a woman to look at.
The guilt and shame and resentment you feel is much like the physical pain you feel when
something's horribly wrong.
When you look at your 11th.
It's a symptom, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like you get that, you get those from furrowing around.
Like, I, I mean, I won't say who I had.
A boyfriend, I used to fight with a lot
and I would, I used to, like,
we would be having an argument and I would be like,
with my, I'm showing it, I would hold my forehead,
like to keep my brow from furrowing.
Cause I could tell like all the,
it was gonna have like dire consequences.
I would literally be like, do not.
Yeah.
But this bitch doesn't care.
She's a mis, you can tell.
You can tell.
I don't like when people are-
That's why some old people look so sweet
cause they're smiling all the time.
You know, they were like,
oh, they had a nice life, they laughed a lot.
This is what I mean when I say,
you get the face you deserve, which people hate.
Cause they think, I'm saying like ugly people are bad
or something, but it's not just that.
But it's like the raw doll thing
that there are some people
who are like technically physically unattractive
but are very charming and adorable
cause you can tell they're nice people.
Yeah.
Like who's that lady who like won like the voice or the idol?
She was like an old British lady.
Yeah, something Doyle.
Yeah, Susan Doyle.
And she was just like cute and comely.
Is that the right word?
Yeah, totally.
But I was thinking about what really-
You don't even have to be like good, you know? Is that the right word? Yeah, totally. But I was thinking about what really.
You don't even have to be good.
Like there's people who are eccentric and look weird.
You don't have to be good.
You don't even have to be fully honest with yourself,
because also let's face it, most of us are not.
But you have to have some level of self-awareness.
The crazy thing about poly people
is how they claim to be so open- level of self-awareness. The crazy thing about Polly people
is how they claim to be so open-minded and self-aware
and they're literally the opposite of that.
And reading these pieces,
I can't ever tell if the journalist is in cahoots with them
or is like gently trolling.
Cause the picture that emerges is so unflattering, you know?
And I was thinking, what about this particular profile made me literally
just so depressed and uneasy?
Yeah.
And it was, I'll read the quote, because it's so disturbing actually.
Like I'm fine with whatever the fuck people choose to do in their private lives.
As long as I don't have to like learn or hear about it.
Which is again, why just having a fair bit.
Winter and her husband struggled with when and how to tell their sons about it, which is again why I just haven't a fair bit.
Winter and her husband struggled with when and how to tell their sons about their arrangement
and wanted to wait until their children were mature enough to handle it.
That plan failed when their oldest son, then 13, saw his dad's online dating profile on
his laptop and texted his mother in a panic asking if they were in an open marriage.
Her youngest son found out in a similar way a few years ago when he was 14, she said.
By now her sons who are 19 and 21 are blasé
about their parents' sex lives.
Her oldest has read her book and told Winter
that he skipped some of the nitty-gritty sex scenes
while her youngest chose not to read it, she said.
It's like, why would you struggle with how to break
that news to your kids when you can just like not
tell them and keep your
lifestyle private. Yeah. Like why do your children need to know? And it just goes
to show how desperate these people are for an audience they're even even willing
to deputize their children. Well so I went on Molly wrote in winter calm This bitch has a website well because it didn't really
Occurred me until we we tasked ourselves with talking about it, right? Because there was that other woman like philosophy professor
Oh, yeah, right
But she was like a professor of philosophy. She had some kind of like interesting
Ish outlook like she was she had an identity outside of her alternative lifestyle.
Yeah, and she was like all kind of a person of some note
that like made an interesting personal decision
that like, sure, like you could, I guess, get some coverage.
But literally, this is the bio on her website.
Molly wrote in winter was raised in Evanston, Illinois,
lives in Park Soul, Brooklyn with her husband,
and two part-time roommates, also known as her sons, ha-ha.
Her personal essays have appeared
in the Cut Time magazine, Romper and Elsewhere.
She is half of the guitar playing,
songwriting duo House of Murth.
She hasn't done anything except for write a memoir
about how she gets her back blown out.
By like a 29 year old with a huge dick
and a weird German lover who ghosted her.
Her personal essays about being polyamorous,
like she hasn't done anything.
I know, imagine being that chicks.
I'm, I actually should.
What? I should withhold my judgment here.. I actually should. What?
I should withhold my judgment here
because I don't like when people step to me
and they're like, imagine being like my son,
but imagine being that woman's sons.
I mean, that's sucks.
And also, like, you know how it is, by the way,
if people leave their laptops open
with their dating profile or racy emails,
they wanna be caught.
Of course.
Like you wanted your sons to find you and the fact that the one son found out and then
the other one did two a year later and they did nothing to prevent that from happening
again already speaks volumes.
It's so it lit.
I mean, this is the definition of like Astro-Charif.
It does this.
This all feels like very astro-tariffed. It does, this all feels like very astro-tariffed.
Like, four days ago, she wrote a piece for Time
called Why I Love My Open Marriage.
I don't know what the fuck romper is, but you know.
And then a week ago on the polyamory,
when you look her up on the Reddit for polyamory,
someone said, has anyone read this book?
Obviously some like PR plant is like...
No, I know this woman hired a publicist to publicize her polyamory, clearly.
That's kind of the craziest part. Yeah. Is that she's not anybody.
I know. I know. There was a story there with the philosophy professor lady who stumbled into a weird romantic
entanglement that then became a lifestyle choice, as sorted and cocked as the whole
thing was.
Who also had her own autistic quirks and flaws.
Yeah, and it was at least vaguely interesting that she had been theoretically debating these
things in her head for decades
and then it actually happened to her.
Yeah.
Because up until then she led a thoroughly normal and conventional life.
But Winter, or the name even sounds fake, it's also like who gave this bitch a book?
It sounds like a horny 50 Shades of Grey ass name.
You can walk into Penguin Random House
and say like, hey, I like fuck other guys.
If it's that, that aren't my husband.
My memoir about smoking cigarettes indoors
in my long ass apartment while my child sleeps
at the other end.
Sigs by Anna Katchin. Meet the mom who smokes sigs inside.
The baby's really far away. Yeah. You tell him, Dosh.
They'll quote.
Yeah.
They can make that's on the rocker.
He couldn't be free as far as possible.
God, we'll say that.
The door is locked
But this also speaks to the way that
Polyamorous people don't have any interest because they're only interest is they're like disgusting sex lives
So it's like they don't have anything going on I know Which is the least attractive thing possible. They don't read books, they don't play chess, they literally can't be alone with themselves and their own thoughts.
They don't work out. I mean, you know, at least in any sense. I'm like, I don't read books or play
chess either, but I work out sometimes and I'm not polyamorous. At least we're not, when do they go shopping?
When it like, I don't know.
This bitch's life would be so much better
if she got a good dermatologist
and went on a shopping spree.
It would make her feel whole again.
I've got more about shopping.
It's like that thing Rhett Butler said
that I've already quoted on this pod,
like money can't buy happiness,
but it can come pretty close.
Can get you a whore and a faceless.
Mm-hmm.
And honestly, if your husband is that cocked
and that checked out,
he wouldn't even notice if you had an affair.
I know, that's been the model.
It's like, we have something that works.
Mm-hmm.
And it's like, you marry someone,
and maybe you don't love them that much anymore,
and you have an affair,
but you kind of both don't love each other
and it doesn't really matter.
And you don't have to talk about it.
Yeah.
And it's a betrayal and you like live with it.
But we can't have nice things anymore. Because of woke.
Let's see, I have other.
Yeah, I have some quotes.
They really go on and on.
It's really hard to keep track of who's fucking whom in these
polyamorous relationships.
And they're always weirdly going to like destination weddings and ping pong nights and having like
dramatic fallouts and then comforting each other.
Oh god.
Brittany and Roy gave each other curfews, which they stuck to.
Imagine.
I know.
That really sucks the fun out of like
having an affair. Until needing to be at home at a certain time started to make them feel constrained.
It became a specific request for specific circumstances, like if one of them was sick.
Blake and Paula had the no sex in the shared bed rule for a while, but at a certain point I was
like, I personally don't care anymore whether you have sex with someone else in our bed,
says Paula.
This does not seem important to me.
Some non-monogamous people are skeptical of rules in general.
I think a path for success for an open couple is to be able to
be very present, treat every moment as if it's unique.
His partner adds, if you had a set of rules, it would almost
feel very strict, like monogamy.
But you guys do have an elaborate set of rules that you passive aggressively enforce.
It's like, hey, babe, go knock yourself out, like get your back blown out, go find yourself,
but you have to be home by 9pm. You can't sleep over because I might be getting sick and you need
to bring me some emergency.
Right now I feel a capacity with one secondary partner and my husband.
If one secondary partner were way more casual then maybe I could date two people.
Imagine being the person who's referred to as the secondary partner.
I know. That's so bleak man.
I guess it takes up or keeps you away from Matt eight to 12 hours a week,
depending on if I stay over my partners or not.
I think I've ended up sacrificing
my more introverted hobbies.
So I've done this reading, the garden and yard work,
and just a lot of home improvement stuff.
I let go to the wayside.
I've done this crafts.
I think Matt has too.
I know he's put aside house project
because he needs time to go on dates.
No, that's torture.
Just like not mowing the lawn or doing the laundry
because you have to go on a date.
Yeah.
I can't, I have, I imagine having to go on a date.
I know.
That sounds like torture.
I know.
That's like something.
Having to go on a date? I've never done and never wanted to do like torture. I know. That's like something. Having to go on a date?
I've never done and never wanted to do like dating.
I'd way rather do some home improvement projects.
I know it seems so much more fulfilling
to get the blue tape from Home Depot and like.
Read a creepy book.
Yeah.
I mean, I don't know.
Have you ever thought of cleaning or dating your house,
making your bed?
Have you ever made your bed since you've been polyamorous?
Oh, I do want to see my new, my new sheet set up.
Oh yeah, I would love to.
It's awesome.
I finally, I finally did it.
Also, like without fail, these people always mention how they come from like
conservative or religious backgrounds.
That's really cute.
It's so Marie Antoinette was like a Russian flare.
Thank you.
Yeah.
It's there's like the fur blanket.
You need to get one of those like boiled wool blankets.
It's like's like the fur blanket. You need to get one of those like boiled wool blankets. It's like a tiger.
Well, like clasp, you can't tell,
but the flat sheets like a clashing floral,
but that's kind of the same color scheme.
You know, it's like, I've like, it's really,
you can't do that kind of stuff if you go on dates.
You like can't put on your duvet cover.
It's also so demeaning and not at all funny
to refer to your kids jokingly as your roommates.
It's not funny at all.
I don't get it.
I don't get the joke.
Because their kids are gonna become
like future Kyle Rittenhouses.
Is the joke because they're adults?
She's polyamorous with them.
Yeah. And she's like sending her son's dick pics Is the joke because they're adults? She's polyamorous with them.
And she's like sending her son's dick pics from her parents.
I mean people are so fucked up.
Just like what do you talk, it would never occur to me to disclose any details of my like romantic or dating life to my children.
Are you crazy?
Like they don't need to, one thing that my parents did really well
in spite of how like dysfunctional and chaotic they were
is that they were so wholesome when it came
to any cursing or sex.
Like we never heard about that in the house.
I remember I learned all the Russian curse words
from other Russian kids at school, not from my parents.
I like still don't know a lot of Russian curse words.
And yeah, it was never,
my mom,
she went to community college
for like art
and she made a bunch of like pretty horny paintings,
but they're very like.
I remember that.
Yeah, they're kind of, they're very like handsome Thursday.
You know, like they're athletic.
So there's like a really like repressed sexual charge.
Were there any like Harlequins or like Venetian masks?
No, no, Russians love that shit.
Headless bodies.
Oh, okay, dark.
Yeah, but like really nice, like amazing.
Your mom, she just like me for real.
I guess.
Like a hand pornographic drawing.
Yeah, kind of like with soft core.
But they're still up in my house.
Yeah, I was thinking about her like,
I tell my mom everything.
They match her, the billiard table, so Russian.
But only now as an adult.
And I'm the one who initiated it as her kid.
Like if her sons came to her
and wanted to talk about their dating lives and their romantic entanglements,
that would be one thing.
But the fact that she's like imposing this on them
in the guise of like transparency
is so sick and twisted.
I know.
It's like that thing Foucault said.
What?
About how unofficial power creates, fuck, I'm butchering this.
How whatever, how like, I don't know how like a non hierarchical society creates forms of
unofficial power.
I think something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Power is real.
And you can't like sign a contract that diminishes it really, especially in matters
of the heart.
I mean, I think the best thing that will come of this is that she earns some money on her
memoir and follow up and can pay her son's extensive therapy bills.
But something's wrong with therapy, dude.
I know, I agree.
A lot of people are in therapy and somewhere,
something went, I don't believe in,
I mean, I am obsessed with psychoanalysis
and Freud and Jung and I really like this guy, James Hill.
Like I am interested in it as a field.
It is of theoretical interest.
But I do not believe in its contemporary practice basically at all.
Like I don't think most.
Well, I don't think therapy should be a democratic institution.
It's like, what was that thing Freud said about how like some people are like,
merely unhappy in a normal way, and some people are just like seriously troubled and deranged. And
the goal of therapy is to bump you up to being merely unhappy in a normal way. Yeah. But it
doesn't even work that way anymore, because end up like ranting inventing to your therapist
I tried to get my therapist to refer me to a CBT shrink
Yeah, because I've heard good things about it
He said it's like being in a relationship with a polyamorous person. He suggested we meet two times a week
They really hook you
I've said it before and I'll say it again times a week. Mm-hmm. They really hook you. Mm-hmm.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's so much harder to break up with your strength
than it is to break up with a boyfriend.
I ghosted my shrink.
The Enneagram guy?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I was on Brigitte Bardot's Wikipedia today.
Yes.
And there was,
I immediately did the woman thing and went to the personal life today. Yes. And there was, I immediately did the woman thing
and went to the personal life section.
And she has this quote where she was like,
you know, I'm like a very passionate person
and I just immediately left every relationship
when it ceased to be passionate.
Basically, I ghosted the guy and moved on to the next.
And that sounds very kind of ruthless and opportunistic,
but it's so much healthier than being
in a weird, protracted, open relationship.
At least you, yeah, you're like oriented
in some way towards something.
Yeah, at least she was like a woman with a will
who knew herself and knew her limitations. Yeah, at least she was like a woman with a will who knew herself and knew her limitations.
Yeah, and yeah, well, she's also was stunningly beautiful and French. Yeah, so she had a many,
I mean, France really has polyamory is what it makes sense in France. No, they really have it on look. Everyone has a lover. It's like, why do you want to do this? Why? Why would you do this? This is so disgusting.
And she had, you know, like literally endless options.
Yeah, and like most affairs.
Which most people do not, which is why they're so attached to their like whatever they're called in the poly vocabular,
like primary partners.
Yeah.
Oh, that they're looking satisfied with.
I would so much rather be alone than lonely.
Well, you can have both.
Well, the easiest way to be lonely is to be like,
in a weird, unfulfilling, open-ended relationship.
Yeah.
I guess not if you have a really full, like, Google account.
And you gotta make like birthday cakes
for your boyfriend's girlfriend or whatever.
I guess you're not lonely cause you're like really busy. birthday cakes for your boyfriend's girlfriend or whatever.
I guess you're not lonely cause you're like really busy.
But yeah, I'd rather just be like unbearable and.
A lot of this sounds just like people
who have never had friends.
It's not even sexual.
Well, this is also something I feel like that's echoed
when there's discourse about how men and women
can't be friends.
Uh-huh.
And it's kind of like the flip side to this,
the way polyamorous people think everyone is up for
some kind of sexual relationship.
They can't imagine.
The reality is attractive people often have friend groups
and do have friendships with other attractive people
and they have part of what makes them attractive
is that they have other things going on
that aren't having sex.
They're not sex nerds.
So they can maintain relationships,
even if there is some sexual tension.
I know, one of the best things about being
like a normal mature adult is sometimes you meet somebody
who you have sexual chemistry with,
but because you're involved with somebody else,
you don't take it to the next level,
because again, you're a normal mature adult
who is able to draw personal boundaries.
Yeah.
And then like sometimes your original relationship
doesn't work out and you can start seeing that other person
and it happens kind of organically.
Or they also have like an attractive friend
that you end up having sex with.
Just this once.
And you both lie about it and no one ever finds out
and no one gets hurt, but you have to live with your guilt.
No one writes a memoir, no one's, yeah.
Like people just have discretion,
which is in very rare supply nowadays.
No class, no tact, no real horniness.
Nothing's made me less horny. I saw a funny tweet that was like, I don't know, like a rare insult.
Some bitch being like, you can't file a class action lawsuit.
You have no class, you get no action and you don't even own a suit.
Amen, sister.
But I wonder what you're doing. action and you don't even own a suit. Mm-hmm. Hey, that's a story.
But I wonder what like the end point of all this like polyamory promotion will be.
Okay, well how, okay, how old is also this Molly Winter woman?
I mean, I, like I said, I assume she's in her late forties, early fifties, maybe.
So she's menopausal.
But I think she was doing it before she was menopausal.
But that's where it, that's the end, that's really the end.
Like eventually, you just have to live with menopause.
I'm, new Emmy Watts has become like a menopause activist.
What?
The actress?
Yeah.
I confuse all the Naomi's.
There's Naomi Wolfe.
There's, who's the other Naomi feminist?
Naomi Watts isn't really a-
No, I know, I know.
Feminist.
I mean, I guess she would probably say she is,
but she's,
Naomi Watts is Mulholland Drive. Right, yeah, yeah.
Good actress.
A fantastic Australian actress.
Yeah, she started a company called.
Who got her big break later on in life?
Yeah.
And now is menopausal and like selling like lubricant
for your dry pussy.
So check that out. and selling lubricant for your dry pussy.
So check that out. I mean, talk about brand sponsorship.
But that seems so much more innocent
than promoting polyamory
because she's just trying to make some money for herself.
Literally, Naomi Watts' like menopause campaign
made me hornier than anything I've read about polyamory.
And the polyamory.
The polyamory is like bringing me closer to metabolic.
It literally makes me never wanna fuck again.
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think this is really like your onto something.
This is like a campaign to justify
why people aren't having sex and have no desire to.
Yeah.
It like gives a not only a concrete explanation, but like a quote unquote
glamorous spin on being a sex nerd, as you say.
Well, yeah, and it makes you think like, I don't know, As a single person, there's this like feeling of dread that even once
you have a partner, we're looking for a lighter, that's once you have a partner, one day they'll
want to go. It just makes everyone seem so unattractive and demented
that it doesn't seem worth it to pursue intimacy with people
because they'll get some therapists who encourages them to
pursue their like selfish, anti-social desires at the cost of everything in their life.
And there's nothing you can do because it's valid.
And it's not even anti-...
They're trying to normalize it.
Make it not anti-social.
But we need to have at least...
There's a reason why polyamory remains on the fringes.
Exactly.
Because it is like deeply troubling anti-social behavior.
It's deviant.
And by definition.
No amount of glossy articles
will ever compensate for that fact.
No.
And so like again, I'm really dying to know
whether the journalists who write these pieces
are in cahoots with their subjects
or are just trying to wring some content from it
or are subtly trolling.
I think you were right when you said that it is.
What's the app?
Feeble. Feeble?
Yeah.
That's when I downloaded the Feeble, feeble. That's when I downloaded the feeble app.
And found out more ways to make myself weaker.
Yeah, I do think that was astute that there is.
Yeah, I think they're doing, they're just doing their job and that there's been
like a coordinated public relations campaign.
Yeah.
Caitlin Phillips is behind this.
Happily married monogamous.
Caitlin Phillips.
Yeah.
Duh, people.
Former slut.
Former slut now.
I don't think she'll get offended by me saying that.
Maybe her husband will.
I don't, yeah.
But that's how you do it.
Said and dear, term of endearment.
Yeah.
Self-identified.
I guess, yeah, well, a lot of people probably just didn't have like promiscuous phases in the
time frame that was normal because a lot of these people aren't young in the cut profile and that
woman certainly is not. No, I think that there are people, yeah, who grew up very sheltered
sheltered and coddled and really didn't have
not only promiscuous phases, but friend groups.
And we're basically strivers who immediately went into tech
or some industry adjacent to tech. And then now as they're coming up against the literal wall,
like the end of their fertile years,
they're like lashing out and letting their freak flag fly.
I'm calling this liberation.
I'm dying to know what this woman did before.
This winter's lady? Yeah. I think that they, I mean, they have a Brooklyn Brownstone. So they must be fairly. I'm trying to know what this woman did before. The Winters Lady?
Yeah.
I think that they, I mean, they have a Brooklyn Brownstone
so they must be fairly successful.
Well, her husband is a composer of,
I think it's said in the article of like.
A Bully Bully music.
Yeah, he's a, he invented vapor wave actually.
No, he makes like scores for television or something.
He has some, what, I don't know.
Okay.
But there's nothing.
So he's not like an indie composer.
He's like a mainstream composer.
No, yeah, he's not.
But like a guy you've never heard about because.
He just has literally some like in the back row of the Golden Globe.
He has a wagey job of making like music for stuff.
Okay.
I'm looking at her LinkedIn.
Okay.
In April of 2019, she became a freelance author.
Before that, she was a curriculum developer. That's something called the DBQ project.
And before that, she was a teacher
at Brooklyn Friends School.
Let's see what the DBQ project is.
I'm gonna get like something something
the milk ain't clean. Oh okay the DBQ is Stripes to help teachers help students.
So like some fake news NGO. It stands for document based question. It stands for nothing. Oh yeah, the first thing comes up is a New York Times piece from last year.
Tackling the DBQ forming arguments. This is all so okay. What's going on? I'm I am like
a charmed and uncharismatic person managed to hire a publicist to catapult her into the discourse
public publicist
She's like soul brah. I mean while the company the book, you know, she wrote a book and
Sold it and so
Penguin's doing the some of the PR and now we're talking you know
we're doing our part.
Polly Amorous people do remind me of penguins kind of.
There you go. I mean the book's gonna flop.
They're like bowling pin shaped and can't fly.
Who's gonna read this?
I don't think we're even gonna read it for the pod.
No. I can't read we're even gonna read it for the pod. No, I can't.
Come on.
I'm trying to, I'm reading like, Savitri Devi.
I already have a crazy bitch's book.
I'm trying to read.
I guess I'm gonna write a book like that. The commisutra.
About the will.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm, I'm, I'm disturbed.
I'm upset.
I know this topic does not inspire
confidence or enthusiasm.
Okay, let's talk about the Yamanipire.
Yeah.
He's going to be in a polycule 18 months from now.
I was really chimping on the TL for that guy and I was drunk.
I was drunk.
Um, and I saw him and I fired off some tweets that were, you know,
I DM'd him.
He responded with a question mark.
That's suspect already.
Well, because I said, how are you as a Houthi pirate
going to have access to the DMs?
He also feels extremely astroturfed.
Yeah.
All the in the videos, like all the other pirates are shortlist
and he's wearing that like Zara coat.
Mm-hmm.
He's wearing that Aritzi coat.
I had a coat that I was trying on today.
Drake is playing in the background.
I mean, he is, okay, he is hot.
He's hot to me, so.
I liked Monica's spin on it,
that he looks like a dog that transformed into a person.
Well, I like that.
And I liked, okay, so I think everybody liked
the original joke, Tim Houthy-Chalamet was really funny.
Somebody DM'd me with an even better joke,
which was Tim Houthy-Inch-Chalamet.
He doesn't look anything like some beach-Chalamet to me.
Yeah, I know, but he's like pale and neoteness and has like a head full of
Charuba curls
Yeah, he's using a smoothing filter on his
Obviously he has an extremely short philtrum and
Pillowy lips and I do think like he's hot. I know he doesn't really look like that.
Everyone's like, Dasha.
Like, I mean honestly, he probably looks better.
You probably looks better, exactly.
Well, no, yeah.
Then he went on like Hasan Piker's live stream or whatever.
And he was talking about Palestine and stuff.
I can't believe Hasan let him on
cause you know that man's such a vain little bitch.
He can't stand any competition
in like the Muslim rent boy category.
But he was not filtered in that interview
and all still looked pretty hot.
Like he is hot to me, but I was really dry.
Like when I sobered up, I was like, damn, he's not that hot.
The more I see him, the less I like.
Well now he's so overexposed and he's like, blah, blah, blah.
And there was that guy who had a really funny tweet that was like the circumstances of imperialism and global poverty are such that somebody who could have made hundreds
of thousands as a TikTok influencer and given half of NYU Chlamydia is forced to do piracy
on a boat.
Or is he?
Which was a funny tweet, but it was kind of wrong, no offense, not to autistically explain
it, but there's still time. Oh
Yeah He's like 19 or something. Let's be like dodgy. He's a kid. He's gonna go to Harvard Extension School
I'm like he not a kid. He growl. He give me that light skin stare
Looks like campbots like cock or doodle
He looks like campbots like Cocker Doodle. He's hot, whatever dude.
He's really, he's, I don't know.
He's not my thing.
I can't tell if I'm like clouded by my contempt for him.
And like can't assess him accurately.
I mean, okay look.
I'm pro-Palestinian.
He's not even Palestinian.
He's like an objectively attractive young man,
but there's something like dirty and sorted and pathetic
about him being like a hot influencer
of the Yemeni conflict.
Fair, but in my innocent, innocently I I want, you know, I want to believe, you know, that
he's just a young person. And that like, this is what young people do. And he happens to
be like, gorgeous. And he's doing, I don't really see in what capacity he is like a pirate,
I guess. Like, I don't really get what that means he is like a pirate. I guess
Like I don't really get what that means or like what he's up to or like what his agenda is I
Guess he's just
Mmm, well, yeah, he keeps like posting
about Palestine and how like they'll be free no matter what pop all that stuff
Which he was if he was really about that life, he would have detonated the vest
girl and become a martyr for the cause.
He says he wants to be a martyr.
He says it on Twitter.
He's ready to a martyr to polyamory.
That's why I said, no, don't martyr.
So sexy.
He's like, in my country, we would be had you.
I'm like, why don't you sail over to the island called Manhattan?
I'm shipping him and Mia Khalifa.
Those two dogs.
If he was my boyfriend, things would be real different around here. Okay. Okay.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it.
I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do it. and like tell me you would use your UN cloud and yeah, and to amplify his pro Palestinian message.
Instead of like flip flopping every week
depending on how like anti-Semitic I see him.
Or whether or not there was like a noisy protest that day
outside my apartment.
Yeah, I'm literally, yeah, it's like whichever
is lost of like a nuisance to me.
But.
I don't even blame him for trying to get his.
Of course.
I get it.
I totally get it.
If I look like that.
Mm-hmm.
But I sent you the photo that he posted where the smoothing
was just egregious.
It's like.
That was weird.
I was like, boy, you don't have to do that.
We want to see you know,
you know, bags are trendy. Maybe he has acne. I doubt it. He probably just has like normal
eye bags and expression lines, which by the way are sexy in a man. Of course, he looks like a
smooth doll. He looked like you're supposed to be a pirate. You're not supposed to be like a weird doll.
But I don't know.
Yeah, I don't, he's not like a Bronze Age warrior. He's like a faggot wearing bronzer.
I don't like this guy.
I don't like what he stands for.
I don't like when people become like avatars
of a meme economy at the expense of their humanity.
All fair, all good points.
Yeah.
I just don't like it.
I'm sorry.
No, you'll be, I mean, you're, I'll be sorry.
You'll be sorry.
He comes here on his flotilla camp of the same style and beheads me first.
Ian, Nick, when, this all Jewish bitch.
That's me giving Liam any fire to kiss.
I'm down really bad.
Basically, but I also was like really, really spend with Joe card, sorry, and I have.
Yeah, I mean, okay, that guy,
but like more so than just kind of people thinking he's hot.
Like I, even before the Rolling Stones cover
was kind of like, oh my God, like,
I first of all, I think he's still thinking he's innocent.
Of what?
Of the Boston guy.
I think he was influenced by his older brother.
I think he was not like, I don't know.
I don't think he's an extreme.
Did you see the video?
He should not be on death row, Anna.
Cause he did one, he's not gonna do it again.
Well, yeah.
He's not a threat to society.
He's on death row now.
No, okay.
That guy I have to say, was legitimately like beautiful in a
Rubel's drawings of Lermontov's demon kind of way.
Oh, you think he's, yeah.
Like he looks like the demon.
Wait, I'll pull it up.
He literally looks like the demon.
He was just a stupid little wigger who didn't understand.
But so was the other brother.
The other brother was older.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He was more cynical, whatever.
You don't know what it's like with brothers.
You know? Yeah.
I mean, I don't either, but I've often been,
as an only child, I've often been jealous
of anyone with siblings, but especially like brothers,
I think have this really like intense relationship.
No, I know, I mean, I have a sister,
I can sort of understand it,
but like I don't think there's any world
where my sister or I could sway each other
into committing a grotesque crime.
Well, women are more-
Like we influence and impact each other, of course.
But women are more distinct.
Maybe.
I mean, I-
Brothers are like brothers.
I know a lot of guys who have a weird,
it's also a very like archetypal dynamic
of like a guy with like a weird, more extreme brother.
I know like, I can think of like,
just on the top like, like at least like half a dozen
of this kind of like personality like configuration.
And they do influence each other and like in,
it's about zero car was like 17.
Was he, I thought he was 19, but whatever.
I don't want to split hairs.
That's also like annoying and gay.
I'm not going to do that.
But you know, that guy, I think also was around
before the meme economy was so calcified.
So there was something more organic about his family.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I actually like, I'm not cynical enough to think
that this Houthi pirate is totally astroturfed.
I think probably there's some kind of like spontaneous
organic element to his fame.
It's like that Brad Haired guy who sang the sad song.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, whenever.
You know, it was like, I think,
I don't think he's like a fabricated person.
A rich person.
A rich man.
Yeah.
But like, I don't think what happened was organic.
Even if he is, what?
Like even if this guy is totally Astrid Herft,
the reaction to him was probably in some part organic.
Well, I'm really like blackpilled kind of on AI.
I've already kind of reached a point where I'm like-
What if he's totally faked?
He doesn't exist at all.
This is an AI-generated image.
You might as well be looking at a pic like a-
This is a sigh up by the global left.
It's like champion third world causes.
Finally, they found someone hot.
Right?
We're just saying something.
Uh-oh. That's him trying to get it.
No.
No, don't rape me.
Don't have your way with me.
You're a many pirate.
Um, so yeah, I think like, I'm open to there being a reality where he doesn't
isn't a person at all and it's an AI generated image.
I have a feeling that SoulBraw, who face stocks recently, could also be like,
because you only see his face for a fucking second, could be just AI generated,
like composite.
But why are you so asymmetrical then?
Cause more realistic.
It's all, you're not thinking Anna.
That's what they want you to think.
They want you to think, oh, he looks kind of weird,
asymmetrical, not that good.
Oh my gosh.
So he must. You sound like Niccolo now.
So he looks to be a real guy.
Anna, Anna.
Anna.
Anna.
Anna.
That's it, you're okay.
You're not thinking Anna.
Yeah.
And that's it.
Solbra.
I have a cigarette.
Yeah.
Runs to the jungle, gets to the beach,
turns around, shows his face and that's it, Anna.
That's my Nicola impression.
What's the deal with Solbra?
He sells supplements on the internet.
He's an influencer who's sort of capitalized
on the BAP sphere, you could say,
and like consolidated a lot of like dissident interests in kind of like nutrition
and lifestyle into bastardized NPC talking points.
Yeah, it's like something he can sell and people can buy and he DJs and stuff to usually
wearing a mask.
I don't know why he hadn't doxxed prior.
I don't know.
I don't really care.
We have no opinion in one way or the other.
I was never really interested, drawn to him,
didn't even really think about what his face might look like.
I actually had heard from a friend of mine that he was...
I heard two things about him like a year ago that he was disfigured from a sword fight.
You wish, SoulBraw?
That he was Australian and like disfigured from like a kangaroo.
Being Australian. Yeah.
Do you have originals?
I wish he was disfigured.
I was a little disappointed.
I wish he had like a really cool scar.
But I think when you build up your identity so much,
like you shrouded and so much like secrecy
kind of pointlessly
mm-hmm then it's anti-climactic yes you finally do there's no way there's just
an absolutely and like all these faggots are like amazing king like I was like I
looked at like the comments in the video it's always like total mental retards
being like amazing king awaiting orders sir, you're so chatted, we fucking love you.
It's like, how can people don't say that to us
when we pull one of our stunts?
We were the first Hoosie pirate.
We're wearing the Isis shirt.
I know, and all we get on Twitter.
And all we get is hate and vitriol.
I know.
I think people are really gonna,
I was walking around the other day thinking
about how people are gonna look back on how they've treated me online and like
they're gonna really feel bad and now they're gonna be like we did the right
thing well you get it I'm not gonna learn people are really like well you too
you know yeah tell you yeah but like just it's like the level, you two, you know, I have to tell you, yeah, but like just it's like
the level of cruelty. It doesn't even hurt my feelings, but like the level to the level.
That's why they're mean to the level of cruelty.
It's just by Dasha nekru.
Um, it's just by Dasha nekru.
Thank you for coming to my Ted talk about why you all are going to be really sorry
that you're being mean to me.
Um, I, well, I think in general people, maybe not, maybe it'll just, I don't actually think this, but innocently,
I'd like to think that one day we'll look back
and be like, damn, that was a really dark period
in history where everyone was online
being really horribly mean.
And like antisocial to each other.
Yeah, I wish, but that's literally never gonna happen.
I'm like, thank God the power grid's been fried
so we can get back to communal living or whatever.
You know my take on this.
I thought that Soul Brawl looked like a more haggard
and less boyish Chris Rufo.
There was something Rufo asked about his physiognomy.
I like don't wanna be mean about about soul bra for some reason. I guess
because he's so like benign. Yeah, there's just nothing to be mean about.
Well, I do think he's fuggling. But like, you know, it's giving him too much
credit. He's too he put himself into vulnerable of a warm. Do you remember a
couple months ago where he was like posting about how he like doesn't wash
his hair and puts olive oil in it?
No, and a bunch of women on Twitter were like your hair looks like shit, you know and then he like
I don't. I've never followed Solvron and he's like nothing.
I don't even follow him. He's just like kind of omnipresent.
Anyway, and then he like washed his hair, whatever. He does have like stringy oily hair
and he doesn't look hot to me at all.
Like he looks borderline repulsive to me,
but I don't want to be mean
because he's like putting him like face docs.
Like it's, he's vulnerable.
Yeah.
You know, but it seems like he's getting a lot
of positive feedback.
So maybe I should take him down a peg.
It's not for me.
He's just, you know, I don't like that kind of guy.
Yeah.
You like the Swarovids.
I like guys with prey eyes.
I like guys with far apart weird eyes and like,
not just Swarovids.
I also like like pale kind of Jewish guy.
Well, it was interesting that the Houthi pirate
Yeah.
Wet ham with the smoothing filter,
but didn't bother to face tune his chap lips.
Well, they're sexy.
That's cause he's out.
Not the way I do it.
Of course his lips are chapped and he's out there
on the open seas like a chair.
You can't drink salt water.
What if he's not using a smoothie full,
he just looks crazy.
And he's like this guy.
He's like a saint but he's like, he's like a saint.
Oh my God.
No, clearly he's, yeah.
He's brightening.
He's, I don't know what app he's using,
what filter that is, but I'm interested in.
Oh, Baron made an appearance.
Oh yeah, as well at Melania's mother's funeral.
Oh, I was wondering whose funeral that was.
Melania's mother.
It took me a while to realize that was a funeral.
Past, yeah.
Damn.
I obviously think Baron's really cute, always have.
He's the best looking Trump child.
I do think he's autistic.
Yeah, the other two boys literally look like White Ude and Kuse to me.
They're like McPoyles.
They're like pear shaped and like sweaty.
Clammy.
Yeah, they're gross.
Mouth breathers.
And um...
Well that's Melania's genes.
Ivanka's beautiful but she's had a lot of work done
so you can't really tell what's what or actually you can but.
Ivanka is beautiful I will say.
And Tiffany is not so beautiful but she's fun and slutty.
I'd love to get a bra on her.
Somebody had a really good take and was like, I realized who Tiffany Trump reminds me of
and it's like a less like perfected Sydney Sweeney.
Kinda.
Yeah.
Like a little bonked on the head.
A little, yeah.
And like fag hag.
Like if anyone were to play Tiffany in a movie,
it would be Sydney.
We know Sydney,
Sweeney played reality winner in a movie.
Like whenever he came and went.
Was that the whistleblower girl?
It was the promo shot that was going around
of her like makeupless and wearing like a military uniform. Which I think I think she did. I don't know. I no one saw them. Okay. I feel like that.
I think she did a good job. And like kudos for her playing like a frumpy. I like the
Trump daughters more than the Trump sons with the exception of Baron. My ranking is
something Baron Ivanka, Tiffany and then Ude and Kusey whatever their names are Don Jr. and Eric.
Yeah, they kind of came out a little botched.
But Ivanka looks great. Love to see her at the wailing wall or whatever.
I think that Baron is also like a more snatched version of Donald when he was young.
Well, he was getting, well, okay, he's really,
he's a minor and let's, he's still extremely young,
but in his pubescent, let's say he was getting kind of
perish, maybe he was kind of going the way of his
half brothers.
But you know, that's how it always be.
He was husky.
Like you have like a awkward, ugly duckling phase
when you're like a preteen to a mid teen
and you really blossom in your late teens, early 20s.
He looks like an anime.
Yeah, he looks great.
Really cool to me.
And I texted you this, but yeah, like actually aristocratic.
Like it's like it's thrown around a lot.
No, I know it's-
I mean nothing.
But he was kind of making waves at the same time
as the Houthi pirate and he's just like so much more
aesthetically beautiful.
And he has that profile that's like a work of art.
It's something like out of a go to book, you know?
Anna, have you, the Hootie pirate is gorgeous.
He's fine, whatever.
You know how I feel about this like cheap meme beauty?
I don't like people who are like overly like
face tuned or face maxed.
I like people like who are kind of like fuggly and French.
I know, I know, me too.
Like Louis Garell, whatever.
Get him in a Prada campaign.
Baron, or the pirate. Hootie pirate. He's not good enough for Prada campaign. Barron. No, Mootie Piran.
He's not good enough for Prada, but Barron is.
Barron would be interesting, he's autistic.
I really think that.
Do you have like a epic chimp out in front of the camera?
I think he's like-
But you know the famous Casper David Friedrich
wander over the sea of fog that has been such becomes such
like a right wing glittering image. If that guy turned around to face the camera, it would be
Baron Trump. That's him.
He looks yeah, he's out of time. Certainly. Yeah, he looks he looks weirdly like an inbred aristocrat from a previous epoch, even though both of his parents are like low-class white trash effectively.
Well, that's what... aristocracy isn't like some like face tuned like blue eyed like you know like AI generated like
symmetric like image it's like a sickly like he I told you this I texted you that he looks a
little like hemophilic you have to look a little inbred. Like that's part of the aristocratic appeal.
It's like being, it's not being like strong,
it's being like frail.
The goofy pirate is like if Zoomer girls were allowed
to design a heartthrob in a lab,
they would come up with that guy.
Yeah, maybe.
Cause young girls always love that like pouty boyish look that's
kind of also swarthy and ethnically ambiguous. They don't really like their own kind, you
know? Yeah. They're always like slumming it with ethnics. Yeah.
I'm just saying, I'm also discussing these phenomena purely aesthetically.
Of course.
Because I have like no dog in the fight.
No, no, no.
Neither of these men who are both minors or.
The Hootie Power is 19, I think.
Yeah, but they're not like.
But who knows?
Who knows how long he's been at sea?
He really doesn't even know.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha. But yeah, like how is he's been at sea? He doesn't even know.
But yeah, like how is he charging his phone?
How is he?
He was born on the OCCC.
Damning me.
You know?
It's like, stop damning me.
It's like, don't you have like pillaging to do?
Babe.
Do you know those man's hands are soft and manicured.
He has a better manicure than you.
Well, he's got like a watch on and like that Pico.
He looks like swaggy.
But I don't know.
He got off at the port and went to Zara, man.
That has he done.
He's like, there's a sale going on right now.
He's gay.
That's why I like him so much.
I'm like, he's so hot.
I'm like a gay bar.
I'm like, you see all these hot guys.
I want my pirates to look like Oliver Reed and Gladiator.
Or a word.
I need a refresher.
What's his face?
Keith Richards in Pirates of the Caribbean.
That's like old and haired.
No, no, it's Keith Richards.
He's like the dad or whatever.
Really?
Yeah, is it Keith Richards in Pirates of the Caribbean?
Caribbean, whatever.
Whatever.
Caribbean.
I'm looking at it.
I'm looking at it I'm looking at,
typed all wrong.
It is amazing how you can type what,
like sometimes I type something that was like,
not even English and they know what I'm looking for.
Oh yeah, you're right.
Okay, cool.
He had cameos in the third and fourth films
as Captain Teague, the father of Captain Jack Sparrow.
Because I knew Captain Jack Sparrow was influenced by Keith
Ridley. Yeah. So it's kind of a no brainer.
But I didn't see the third and fourth.
I've never seen Pirates of the Caribbean Caribbean where I've only seen clips.
But yeah, that is or like that guy that's from the meme
that's doing the like, look at me.
I'm the content.
The Somalian pirate.
That's what a pirate is.
That's what I thought a pirate was, but this you many guys.
I don't know, maybe a pirate can be a beautiful boy.
I don't know.
You know all those men on Canal Street are former pirates.
That's where they got the bat.
Yeah.
That's where they got the bat. Yeah. That's where they got the loot.
This guy is merely a trumped up butt pirate.
I hear you keep calling him a butt pirate.
He is.
He's a spiritual butt pirate.
Come on.
Leave him alone.
It's also such a,
it's such a Middle Eastern man thing
to be like a brigand and a bandit,
but also have like a perfect manicure and you know, I do.
You don't know. He probably got rough hands from pulling on the rope.
I'm tying all those knots.
I'm trying to like put the charger into the socket.
I'm charging his iPhone.
They're pirating Apple products.
He's got calluses from going on TikTok.
They're pirating MP3s of Mr. Brightside and Red Scare Podcast.
After Ghost Hardware died, peace be upon him.
Peace be upon him.
He took over the duties of pirating the Red Scare episodes on the sub.
Yeah, he's the moderator of Black Scare.
Oh, man.
Anyway, in spite of my low opinion of this man, you know that if he ever met me, he would have an even lower opinion of me, so I can't even talk.
I mean, I don't really know, okay, so...
I don't know about Yemen.
I don't know what's going on.
Or like what he's on about Rashid.
But I like the, I just like the, I like the.
I can't, I'm drunk again.
I'm drunk again.
I'm looking at the,
okay, I think he might not be faced soon in this book.
I mean, he is.
This is like his, from his like Midland headshot or something.
Yeah, you know who he looks like?
It's not Timothy Chalamet.
It's Saint Malik.
Yeah, kind of.
He has that vibe, which I don't like.
It's like cheap and smug and Zara Men.
I don't know.
Maybe I like-
He has like English council housing face.
His mom has black mold in her living room.
Maybe I like the wrong type of guys.
No, no, no, I think everybody likes the thing
that's right for them.
You think? And you gotta be yourself.
It's subjective.
Is he wearing like Gosha Rybczynski in this one?
What is that turtleneck?
Like Aaron Preston.
He's like, he's not a pirate.
No, he doesn't belong on that boat.
No, who let him on that boat?
It's going to emerge that he's not even Yemeni or even Palestinian.
He's like a Pakistani guy who's like a Bollywood actor.
The cryptic Rochon son.
Why? OK, I would get him on the pod.
Why? Okay, I would get him on the pod.
I just want to know what, just not even, I just want to know where he got that coat.
Uh-huh.
Cause he's like, well, that's not a pirate.
That's not a pirate, come on.
That's not a pirate.
He's like some Saudi guys like offspring.
He's like Janet Jackson's son with the Saudi billionaire.
All grown up. Came out of nowhere.
He parties in Ibiza in Dubai.
He see he looks like. Yeah.
Hmm. All right.
I just the Timothy.
I don't he doesn't look anything like he's. No, like not at all. Miss me with that.
But yeah. I like the overall quality of that original joke. I want it. Yeah. It was good.
It was like pithy funny to the point. I'm ready for it to pass, I guess. Yeah. I mean, it is over
now. I'm, I'm a big fan girl of Timothy
Shalame. I've been converted.
Why?
Because I watched Call Me by Your
Name on the plane.
Oh, right, right, right.
He's very good at that.
No, I think he's a good actor, but I
think it's hard for me to have any
real fondness for a male actor.
Because I just know that they're stupid
and broken.
I agree with that, but some of them-
Like if you met, you would not be attracted
to Timothy Shaw, maybe not.
No, no, I'm not attracted to any like Neal
and his twink boy, but Timothy has something.
Timothy them has something.
He has something. He has something.
He's talented.
I watched the latest SNL with Jacob Elordi
after not watching SNL for like maybe five or seven years
and thing ridiculous.
And I was struck by like how conventionally attractive
and professionally trained Jacob Elordios,
but he has like literally just no charisma and no presence as a person in spite of all of his like naturally given talents.
And Timothy Chalamet is like the opposite of that.
He's just like a very innately interesting and talented person,
even if he is like a dumb, boneheaded male actor.
He has a certain quality.
I don't know how to describe it.
It's a purely subjective opinion.
I think you can't, I don't,
I think you should watch Timothy,
Timothy, Shalomai host, SNL.
I will, I will.
And also I was like really struck
by how like unfunny and bad the new SNL is.
It's like the cringiest millennial humor where they're simultaneously
smug and self-effacing and they're like, yeah, so yeah, like you're just like really hot. That's
what all the skits are. Like the premise of like half the skits is how hot Jacob Elordi is in whatever
character role he's playing. It's been really bad for a long time. It's so horrible.
It's such a far cry from like even like the late 90s, like Will Ferrell, Chris Pernel,
SNL, which is bangs.
I mean, I agree, but part of that might be nostalgia?
Like I was a big SNL head.
I know, I know.
That's part of the Dasha lore.
It's one of the charming things about you.
That when I first came to New York when I was 13,
I went to a 30 Rockefeller and like toured the SN,
and bought like an SNL mug and-
A 30 Rockefeller?
I like, yeah, but I came up on SNL
and like the Wolf Arrow era,
thought it was like the funniest shit.
Justin Timberlake's a really good SNL host.
He's like a really, really charismatic, funny guy.
He was always really good.
Yeah, a lot of people were really.
Alec Baldwin's a great guy.
Down on him when he played the antagonist in Grant Singer's Reptile and they were like
he was by far the worst part of the movie and I actually don't think that.
I think he was like perfectly cast because he played this kind of like sinister anti-social
NPC guy who was like a status obsessed striver.
Well that's who would literally murder his wife.
He did that in the social network too.
Yeah.
Not murderers, I thought.
He was great in that.
He's a good actor.
He's a good, he's an absolute triple threat.
Quadruple.
Yeah, I was, it's like, okay,
like you don't think he's hot and you don't like him
or what he stands for.
Or you just have a preconceivation
that he's a celebrity who like doesn't deserve
or something that you think he has.
But he's actually just also naturally gifted and talented.
100%.
Possibly not as a pop star, but.
But he had a good run too, whatever.
He can't, he's not gonna keep that, you know,
he diversified his portfolio.
I didn't watch the, I haven't watched us
in a long while either. Mm hmm.
Though not as long as I like would tune in periodically.
But Justin Timberlake actually has like a pulse and an intellect.
Yeah. Yeah.
And in an instinct and like, uh, yeah, but I, he has like that aggressive
needling white guy sense of humor of like a Brad Tremel.
Yeah.
He does.
It's just fun. Yeah. He does.
Which is fun.
Yeah, it's cool.
I like it.
I wanna like Jacob Bellorty.
I wanted him to do good on SNL.
I mean, okay, don't get me wrong.
I do like Jacob Bellorty, I think.
I think you.
Like, overall, he's like, again, attractive and talented.
It's just like he...
Cause I've actually seen people remarking
on how good Jacob Bellorti was on SNL.
And I think part of the disconnect is that you have not watched SNL in a long time.
You don't know how, you have a real-
Yeah, I don't know how bad it is.
You don't know how bad it gets.
Like probably Jacob Elordi was like one of the best SNL guys in a while.
I mean, I think the main thing about Jacob Elordi is that unlike a Justin Timberlake
or a Timothy Shalame, he doesn't really have a sense of humor and he's not a funny guy.
His talents lie elsewhere.
Well, that's what I mean kind of about male actors in general is that they are, they have especially now a very distinct kind of like emptiness.
And they can be like very good actor.
But that's why I like Shalame because he's not empty.
I think he is.
No, no, no, he has he has something.
He has like he's a good actor.
He's tricked you.
Yeah, but that's into thinking he has a deep interior.
No, no, I don't I don't claim to know what his interior world is
or his intellectual interests are.
I don't know that he has any of those for all.
I know he might be in a polycule,
but what I'm saying is that like he has something
like natural innate that is like a greater depth
of the person.
I'm really grasping at straws
because there's so few people out there like that.
I was thinking about this.
I don't dislike Timothy Chalami at all.
I'm not like against him.
I'm just speaking generally.
Like I've seen people do like,
I think he's very well,
he's a great actor and call me by your name.
He's very well directed.
And like I've seen people in acting classes
who like will never have a career
like our total like NPC like brand up normies.
Yeah, nor what are you doing here?
No, but then they get on stage and they do like check off.
Okay.
And they like do like tap into something insane and like are really like alive and like vibrant on stage and like are able to do something because they're like practicing a craft that they're like trying to get very good at.
Yeah.
And they're like, I mean, I thought I was in love with like I from acting class because I saw him do like a ripped t-shirt like Hamlet thing.
And I was like, oh my God. T-shirt, like Hamlet thing.
And I was like, oh my God, I was like,
he's like incredible, you know?
But it's like, that's Shakespeare, you know?
It's like he, I like, my wire has got completely crossed.
And then I like had sex with him.
And he was, yeah, the some like Israeli guy
that drove like a Jeep with no doors on it.
And like-
He like sold soaps and lotions at the mall. He listens to like the kills. Uh-huh the chain smokers
Yeah, this is pretty chain smokers. But yeah, like he was just like a total like war like a fedora like outside of clout
Like it was like a guy that like you would never like but because I saw him on stage like do something like
Exceptional yeah and stage like do something like exceptional,
yeah, exquisite, like I was attracted to him.
But I like that.
I like when people exceed your expectations.
Yeah, but I'm surprised you.
Yeah, I think what a great actor is like an animal
where they like, they're not cerebral.
They just have these like instincts
that tap into something like really human.
But what I'm saying is like, Elordi is like a technically good actor.
Chalmé is a, um, existentially good actor.
I think you have, I think Elordi will, will surprise you.
I think he's just getting, you know, I think he could embody a role that like would really
impress you probably.
No, he doesn't. And he's like, he's very good at suppressing his like Australian accent.
Yeah.
Which I consider impressive because I like can't do accents very well.
All it takes is like one really good,
Shelly has been really lucky and he's been cast, you know, in a lot lot of good parts and he's talented and there's a reason.
But I just don't think we've seen,
I gotta watch the Alorty.
I'm not trying to argue.
The funniest part, no, this is like about as close
as we get to arguing.
You're like, your opinion is valid.
I don't disagree. I'm just being I'm being double that.
The funniest part of that SNL episode was this random ass
commercial for a Subaru SUV where a black dad takes his deaf son
hiking by a waterfall
in the most lesbian car known to man,
the most white lesbian car known to man.
Yeah.
It's really an impeccable piece of like non-linear theater.
Yeah.
Cause you know, no black dads are driving a suit like non-linear theater.
Because you know, no black dads are driving a Subaru.
Except for maybe Tim Scott, who is the guy I recently learned about.
Except for away from their family because they stole it.
They looted it.
They're driving it away for their damn kids.
You went up in the car leadership in Minneapolis.
If you see a black man driving a Subaru.
You know it's got an Amber alert on it.
Yeah, he kidnapped that Dev son actually. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I Meadows. That guy doesn't get enough credit.
For sure.
Cause he's so like also like handsome and normie
and you don't really see him coming.
He's not like a weird little freak like Chris Pern.
I was watching Old SNL Reels.
I watched a really good one that Wade sent me
that was like Jeff Daniels reacting
to Martin Luther King day at the office.
I mean, there's really, there's like no reason why SNL can't be funny, you know?
Yeah.
But my question is like the people running these skits now,
do they actually think they're funny?
Yeah, I think it's a kind of humor.
Like, do they believe that they believe?
Well, the thing, like, honestly, I haven't watched SNL maybe in a year-ish, so I've probably seen clips.
But even when SNL was bad,
slash is so bad, I do, so when I was watching,
I do find myself kind of like smug.
I do kinda like chuckle, like I will like crack a smile.
Again, you're like the cartoon dog in the burning building
or like this is fine.
Yeah, I'm like haha.
Like I'm a generous laugher.
I know, which is good,
but the thing that struck me
about this last SNL episode I watched
was that these are people
who call themselves professional comedians
and they're probably less funny
than your average person on the street.
Yeah, but they're...
Like one of the skits was like,
one of the black female cast members dressed up
as Cat Williams, making fun of some special Cat Williams did
where he really laid into his contemporaries
like Dave Chappelle and Kevin Hart,
which like I have not seen,
but I will bet is way funnier intentionally or unintentionally
than the SNL skit.
Well, part of it I think also,
I think where SNL fell off is
because there seems to be like a monoculture
to kind of make fun of.
That's true.
That's very smart.
Everyone's like the skits themselves
are kind of like we're're not, there is a-
There's super like inside baseball and self-referential.
There's not like a cohesion.
Like there was one about short Kings,
which like would not make sense to anyone in the 90s.
No, but in the 90s, early 2000,
like we had like George Bush, we knew George Bush was-
We had Channarino, we had Bill Clinton,
we had these big political personalities.
And to the point you've made before also,
in the post-Trump era, it's like we're past parody.
Yeah.
So you're not, you're never gonna get me to laugh
by like making fun of Donald Trump.
Yeah, yeah, well a lot of the millennial humor,
like the classic millennial humor
is not only being simultaneously smug and
self-effacing, it's also assuming a layer of intentionality. Yeah. That the thing
that you're parodying supposedly didn't have but which it totally did. It's
like the thing that I'm still traumatized by when
your movie came out and there was that clip circulating on the internet of the like
gelene scene with me and people were like, lol, this is so unintentionally funny.
Yeah, I know. I'm still so fucked up and traumatized and shook by that. Cause I'm like, you didn't think that she.
And you can't take the bait and be like,
oh yeah, I'm being funny.
Yeah, yeah.
It's like you have just kind of like,
growl with it, I guess.
Yeah, like, yeah, people just don't think you get,
tone, like, I don't know.
And it's like, it's like literally leftist taking your joke
and ascribing an aura of authorship to it. Yeah. I don't know. And it's like literally leftist taking your joke
and ascribing an aura of authorship to it.
Yeah.
That was yours originally, that they're hijacking.
It was like when I made that tweet about like
how I went to the bank and they were like vagrants
in the vestibule and that like Sam Hadler bell guy
was like, really like vagrants in the vestibule?
I'm like, yeah, like I know what I said.
I like did an alliterative like funny. I was like really like various events to be like, I'm like, yeah, like I know what I said.
I like did an alliterative like funny. It's like, I know I'm being fun.
You pray.
And then if you like get around to the part where you're like explaining and defending yourself,
you've already lost really bad and gay.
You've already lost.
So you just have to let them.
But it's literally like Colin Joest and Michael Chey
recounting funny shit that Trump did intentionally,
but pretending it was unintentional
and adding their own little punchline.
That's millennial humor in a nutshell.
A funny thing that Joest and Che have done in the past
on weekend update.
I'm so, I'm such a fag.
I'm such a loser.
I'm like, actually, well, actually,
I don't know, they do this funny bit
where they write jokes for each other.
So like Che will write jokes for Colin and Joe's
to say that make them like, they're like racist.
Like racism is just funny.
I know, but I hate that too
because it's so like lame and predictable.
There was actually a joke on this particular episode
that was like about a racist dog whistle
and some like black cast member blows the racist dog whistle
and Colin Joest is the only one to hear it.
Yeah.
I mean.
We get it.
I like,
Michael.
Anti-white humor, whatever.
I don't mind Colin Joest or Michael Che.
I think they're doing,
they're holding it down at weekend update.
I think, No, and they're holding it down at weekend update. I think, but they would like they-
No, and relative to the newer cast members,
they're much better.
I mean, that's how it always goes.
I know, that's-
They're not as good as like-
They're just getting older.
Colin Quinn or Norm MacDonald,
but they're better than whatever the random Asian guy
or the random non-binary chick.
Kris Katan.
Is Keenan someone?
Mango, he is.
Okay. And he's really- You start the fundable. Yeah, he's really like? Mango, he is. Okay.
And he's really.
Is he dependable?
Yeah, he's really like black, don't crack.
Cause that guy has to be like 45
and he still looks kinda good.
It's really fat, don't crack.
That's true.
Yeah.
It's just, yeah, like, racism is funny.
And if once we can like acknowledge that as a society, Yeah, like racism is funny.
And if once we can like acknowledge that as a society, I think comedy will largely,
like mainstream comedy will benefit
if we can all just kind of like drop the pretense.
Yeah, but anti-white racism is not funny.
Not because it's anti-white,
but because it's the only socially sanctioned
form of racism.
Well, I'm not talking about it.
So therefore it's lame and gay.
But all of the Colin Jost, Michael Chey jokes are to that effect basically.
It's like about Colin Jost being like the racist white boy
or that particular one that I saw.
I'm talking specifically about their weekend update, but
but Michael Chey then also reads jokes for he.
I think Michael Chey has a really nice like twinkle.
It's high.
Whatever.
He.
Well, again, relative to the other ones,
he just seems more talented and professional.
He's like, but also he's not in a lot of the other skits.
He like is kind of exclusively almost on weekend update.
He's like the Amber Olyfrost of SNL.
Or like, well Norm occasionally parachutes in.
Norm basically only did weekend update.
Oh God, I miss that guy.
I know, I know.
When Sailor asked me to blurb his book, Oh god, I miss that guy. I know, I know.
When Sailor asked me to blurb his book, I wrote some like sincere and heartfelt statement,
but what I really wanted to say was,
if Norm MacDonald never had a lucrative career
doing comedy and did race science for obscure blogs.
That's sweet. Yeah. Yeah. High praise. Similar vibe. Yeah, impish. Yeah. Trickster. Yeah.
Peace be upon him. See you and help.