Rooster Teeth Podcast - Road Justice Warriors - #786
Episode Date: January 22, 2024We would never ask anyone to drive Miss Demarais around but someone has to do it. Let's talk about some of the driving habits, uber experiences, and Texas Road Rage that Andrew Rosas, Chris Demarais, ...and Jack Pattillo experience in this weeks episode of the Rooster Teeth Podcast. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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This is a Rista Teeth production.
Welcome to the Rooster Teeth Podcast, the only three host podcast with one good immune system.
It's me, your host Andrew Rosas with me as almost never.
It's Jack Patel.
I'm Mondo Salazar. with me as almost never. It's Jack Patelou, everybody. It's Jack.
I'm Mondo Salazar.
And over here we have Christamarez.
Hello, Chris.
Hello, I'm immune system good.
Yes, yes.
No, sorry.
Both your beloved other hosts, Mondo and Griff are sick.
Oh, no, oh my God. Just breaking news. No,
they're there under the weather. And chances are if you're like,
there's 80% chance if you're listening to this right now,
you're sick too. Dude, what happened then? It just hit me
in December, which was a nightmare and then hit my
wife around the same time. She thankfully hasn't gotten COVID.
I got COVID in December. Yeah. That was my second, my second
bout of COVID. And man, that sucks.
Yeah.
It hit a lot of people, really clobbered everyone
around the New Year.
I feel like it was just like Christmas.
It was, hey, guess who's coming to Christmas
besides all your relatives?
Rampant disease.
That's who's also coming.
Yeah, I still haven't had COVID.
So I'm trying to.
You're not going to talk on wood while you can.
Yeah, I know, seriously. You know. know, I'm trying to- Knock on wood while you can. Yeah, I know, seriously. You know, keep it going.
What was that attack?
Yeah, gently placed on wood.
That's because there are mics attached to this table and knocking on it.
There we go.
There we go.
Knock the leg.
Because we've been given specific instructions not to knock on this table.
Oh, see now all I want to do is knock on the table.
I know, I know, it's a big red button that says do not push.
Yeah.
What does it do? What does it do?
Yeah, so we have some wonderful people filling in for us today,
or filling in for other hosts today.
And I wanted to, so on the way here,
I was running a little bit late and I mentioned this to Jack
before I got here, but I had a phenomenon happen to me
on the way here that happens occasionally
where you'll be driving and someone will be in front of you
and they'll be going excruciatingly slow.
Don't have to make you like white knuckle
your steering wheel a little bit, you're like,
oh my God, but they were, ahead of me,
going the exact, they made for the exact same turns
that I did to the point where I was like okay this is a Psyop I'm being fucking
punked here like this is no way that we're going the exact same way and I
don't like I was telling Jack I live in a neighborhood and I only have to get on
one main road essentially to get here and so And so it's a little bit of a circuitous path.
So again, Lynn's credence to the fact that like,
okay, this is an op.
I'm being like, you know,
the simulation has glitched a little bit or whatever.
And I'm like being purposely.
But then I was trying to think about this.
The lady was ahead of me and it was a lady.
I didn't see this lady.
Cause eventually she had to turn I made a different turn but not generalizing
oh this terrible driver was a lady no no no I'm my you know due diligence I'm a
terrible driver and I'm not a lady so I just want to add representation
terrible driver yeah but I was just trying to think of her perspective is that like this fucking psycho is following me
Yeah
Fucking just red-faced tomato man just so upset and I don't even have like road rage that bad
But first but because it was just like oh come on when they machine may like put
the blinker on for the next turn I was like God so so you don't have road rage
I have road like justice complex like I don't get mad at other drivers but if
someone does something that I'm like oh you're in the wrong I will I will sit
there and wait for them to realize they're in the wrong I was in a parking
garage the other day I was like in a parking garage and I rounded a corner
and this car was just burning its way towards me.
I'm like, it's not gonna hit me.
And it stopped right next to me and I was in a rental car
and I was in a bigger vehicle and I'm like,
well I'm turning left.
So I'm gonna turn left into your front bumper
and less you back up.
So I'm gonna sit here until you start backing up.
Like go ahead, back up, back up, back up.
And then he actually rolled back. I'm like, start backing up. Yeah, go ahead back up back up back up and then he actually rolled back like that
Yeah, I had other people in the car with me
This is the worst part of me that comes out when I do have that justice justice. Yeah. Yeah, I've told this story
But so stop me
I got hit at a light rear-ended the guy tried to run off
Oh
And then I'm like firefly I gotta go get them. All right, so I pop the curb tube and then go after them
Yeah, chase after them
That catch up to them at a different red light. I don't think they realize I'm I'm
Crazed enough to chase them and then I'm like like what am I gonna do the light turns green again
They're gonna speed off. So I jump out of my car and then
adrenaline
And and I run around and I stop
In front of the car. It was a lady and she's like in the light turns green and she's like, what are you doing?
I'm like you hit my car. She's like no, I didn't I was like, yes, you did and she's like get out of the way
I'm like, no, I'm like I'm calling the cops and I call the cops
While standing in front of her car you call the cops. Yes. Okay. Listen adrenaline
Adrenaline will do make you do crazy things. I've got the cops they connect to the Bluetooth. That was my car. So I'm like hello
And they're like they're not picking up you stay there
And I'm like what's your emergency happening inside your car? Hello?
Hello, they just here because my car door was open. I want to qualify to yes, so they just hear
She's like pushing me with their car and I'm like move you like Christ
And I'm like trying to hang up and calling 911 again and like trying to figure it out. I'm looking down
And they hear another crunch
She hit the back she backed into the front of my car
I try to get out and I'll give you my car again, and she's like no I didn't I like I saw you
Eventually the adrenaline wore off.
I got a hold of 911.
I was like, I look crazy.
Because people on the side of the road
were pulling over and being like,
ma'am, do you need help with this, ma'am?
And so I'm like, I'm like, tell the cops.
I'm like, all right.
We're pulling over.
She said she's pulling over.
She's pulling over.
She's like, yes. And then to get back in car, the light turns green. She guns it. I'm like, I'm like all right. We're pulling over. She said she's pulling over. She's you pulling over She's a guess and and then to get back in car a green turn the light turns green. She guns it
I'm on the road. I'm not after them and I'm chasing after this lady
Yeah, and she eventually gets away like out of car. It's like a junk truck pulls in down a small road right
Right behind her. Yeah, and then the cops like good
You shouldn't be chasing her
You gave her the license plate everything. Well, I have a video of it. Okay. I'm not even kidding hell. Yeah
He's awkward, but have a video of it on my phone
Wait a video of the wreck or this like were you filming? Were you filming?
I was trying to film whenever I was chasing a Karen video where you were like gonna film
I was trying to get her license plate, okay, and I kept trying to get pictures while we're I shouldn't be doing this while I was driving
But I'll try to take pictures. I couldn't you know like it's hard to take a photo
Yeah, I'll just do a video so I I can for sure get it
So I'm like turn on a video. Yeah, and then whenever I stop to
Road justice
I run around I get video over. Wow. God damn.
So I'm a video of this.
I'm never going to post it.
No, dude, Jesus don't post that.
Don't ever.
If you subscribe to our highest Patreon tier,
you can have access to that video.
So what happened?
Like, I mean, ultimately, did you get anything for it?
Yeah.
OK.
So you're going to get into specifics.
No, I'll tell you.
So the cops show up
You know where I pulled over where the junk truck had you know, yeah, and they're like I'm like tell them the whole thing
I'm like yeah, here's the videos I have
They also have the 911 call from with my door open of her hitting my other car. Okay, cuz you hear the crunch
Yeah, yeah, I heard me distantly yelling
my other car. Oh, OK. Because you hear the crunch.
Yeah. Yeah.
I heard me distantly yelling.
So I was like, and they're like, yeah, normally we are like,
we're never going to catch, you know, hit and runs like this.
But like, I think we have a good case.
Like we got a license plate and we got video of them
and this crazy 911 call.
And then so I I'm like, cool, cool. Two months go by. And then I get a call
from the cops and they're like, we want you to come in for a lineup. That's awesome. Yes,
exactly. So I was like, you know, I took off work. I'm like, I gotta take off work for police lineup. And I'm not in it.
So I'm like, I'm like, you know, go to a police.
I'm like, I'm here for the lineup.
You know, like, I'm here to put away a baddie.
Yeah. And then so I'm like, all excited to take me in this like little like small white
room. I seems like the waiting room.
Sure. And then, you know, I think as a woman officer comes out
and she's like, hey, all right, so we're gonna do a lineup.
I'm just gonna show you, you know,
just let me know if you have any questions.
We'll just get started.
I'm like, what do you mean?
Like, where's the, like, you know, the glass?
Yeah, we're the one with the glass.
The one-way mirror glass.
And she's like, oh.
And she's like, oh. And she's like, oh.
And she's like, oh.
No, we don't do it like that.
You face your accuser.
No, no, no.
Yeah, that one, officer.
You're like, no, no.
That's too much pain and expensive to do.
Here's a series of photos.
I'm like, oh.
No.
I was like, I guess I'll still do it.
Oh, no.
So then I'm like, yeah, that's her.
And then like, they're like, OK, cool. That's her and then like I they they're like, okay cool
That's what we thought and then they're like, I was like, so what's gonna happen next like well
It's not like a felony or anything because you weren't like injured
So if we will catch her eventually and I was like, all right, and then I like I don't know a year later
I got a check from a thing. They were like she was ordered to pay your and I was like still didn't cover my deductible
Yeah, of course. But again, some semblance of road justice.
Yeah, some have been.
Yeah, like is there a car superhero
who only chases people down and then turns them in?
Can that be me?
That's a cop, right?
Yeah, we have a name for those people.
Super, yeah, yeah, very, very you know been around for a while. Yeah, that is so I love just like the sliding over the son of a bitch
I wanted to have a lady go
Okay, okay step forward and say no I didn't
No, I didn't hit your car get out of the way you crazy. Yeah crazy
Yeah, you wanted to have that that moment like just one five strangers yelling you're crazy at your face
Oh, help me this this man is harassing me
All right now step back number two step forward man, man, it's okay knock on wood gentle knock on wood
I haven't been in an accident in a long time like the last time I was on an accident actually
Was probably 10 years ago
Maybe a little bit less than that. I was in a rental car in Los Angeles with Michael Jones
And we were dry so I rented a car this is before rooster teeth had any money you're kind of like now and I
We're in Los Angeles and I rented the cheapest rental car
I could find this thing had like did not have until I breaks on it's this old piece of this old junker
damn and we were on our way back to the airport and we were in like Santa Monica like heading towards a 405 and
and I the light like I was behind someone light went green I look away like she rolls for it
I start rolling for it. I look away look back. She stopped and like ah and so I hit my brakes
And I slid and just bumped into her yeah, and the bumper of the car fell off of, you know,
it's like, well, that sucks.
And I did the thing where I reached my arm out and I stopped Michael.
And I was like, ah.
But it was like a four on something.
Michael said it.
I think he's doing react at all.
I mean, it's like, what?
Don't touch me.
And so we pull like we pull off the side and like I go back
and I grab the bumper and I throw it in the trunk.
And she's like looking at her. And she like I'm fine there's nothing here I'm
like all right so we had to then go to the rental car place yeah I can't believe
they rented you the car the jode family went to California and in grapes of
rats it's like blue brothers the end just falls apart for me yeah but but what
it happened was she started rolling forward and a cop was coming the other way
So she stopped for the cop who's going through the intersection. I missed that and so when I didn't stop in time
I didn't bumped into her so but then once the rental car plays and I was like, I guess your bumper
Yeah, yeah, this you know we got into a wreck or whatever, but it's okay
Let me know what needs to happen
Then I got an email and I got a letter and I was like here you're charged for this but they also charged me for like the side doors in the back and all the time like
Didn't do that didn't do any that shit. And so yeah, then I'd like fight over that. Yeah
It's not usual that your cars you get like, oh, yeah, I was hit from this direction and this direction and this I had
I got front and back
That's impressive. She hit me she hit and ran me. Yeah, I had. I got front and back. Yeah, that's impressive. She hit me.
She hit and ran me.
Yeah, they called at some point and they're like,
well, do you want to press charges?
And I'm like, I don't want to get people in trouble.
She's definitely under the influence.
Oh, great.
And so I was like, and she hit and ran me twice.
It wasn't like she did it.
And then I'm sorry, I messed up.
She's like, no, I'm sorry, I messed up. She's like, no, I'm sorry, I messed up
by not going faster.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I need to get out of here.
Yeah, I did mess up by not, yeah.
Endangering more lives, weaving through traffic,
going into oncoming traffic, trying to get away from you.
That's where I messed up.
Yeah, yeah, that's sweet chasing.
Speaking of being a bad driver though,
I remember in high school there was this thing I would do.
Like, so. Called drugs. Speaking of being a bad driver though, I remember in high school. There was this thing I would do like so called drugs
No, that was college
They so I had this whole thing. I was like like oh I want to like max
You know your poor high school kid you want to maximize you know, I would get paid six dollars an hour
No, yeah, and it's still that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I had to change.
And I was like, I kind of like maximize my gas.
And someone's like, well, if you know, if like,
if you get like every time, you use the most gas,
like starting up driving, like from start to stop.
Yeah, yeah, acceleration, yeah.
Yeah, and so I was like, how can I maximize my gas?
Like how can I never stop? And so, was like, how can I maximize my gas? Like, how can I never stop?
And so I was like, never stop.
This is airtight.
By the way, I can't wait where this is going.
So I would get near a light, and it would be yellow or red,
right?
And I'd be like, all right, I'm going to try and slow down
to the point where I can like not actually stop.
It's like timing, like how long do I think this light's
gonna be and how long will it take me to get to it
so that I can then never have to stop.
Yeah. Sure.
So what it would end up with me doing is driving
and then getting like, I don't, I'm embarrassed to say this.
Like a quarter of a mile away from the line. And I would just be creeping like, I don't, I'm embarrassed to say this, like a quarter of a mile away from
town. I would just be creeping like, and like, and Andrew's behind you just screaming. Exactly.
I'd get to work. Yeah. That guy's following me. And then I would try and, you know, and sometimes
it would work where you'd be like, you, you know, light would turn green. Whoever else
let the light, you know, they're slow and I'm like, oh, look at all this gas I saved.
As I creeped by five miles and out.
And I would do that, try and do that.
Had a friend in the car with me one time.
And then, like, his group hanging out.
And, you know, like, everyone got in different cars
to ride to the next Walmart that we were going to hang out at,
whatever it was.
Go play the N64 and look straight up.
Just crazy.
And my friend was riding with me and when we got back, he was like,
I'm never riding with Chris again.
I was, he's like, he did this and he was like, why won't you, why won't you stop at a light?
Like, why are you creep?
Why do you stop like cuz is in his mind? I was stopped. I mean it's exactly as described. Yeah, it is insane
And I was like yeah, this is embarrassing. I should do this
So I gotta be saving saving I guarantee you cumulatively
$8 in gas maybe
An hour and a half of work yeah for me that was like actually I'm gonna say you didn't save any gas I would if you did the math I'd be like yeah, but you were also like I
Bet if you actually broke it down you didn't say it was like a watch
Oh, yeah, you said the same amount of gas it's negligible
But you get those cars now like where you stop and it turns the engine off. Yeah, I hate that my car does
I'm really to disable that stuff and he's like a car does that
But because the car is like dying
That's not a feature yeah
God damn it. Yeah, mine does that and
And but you know, I mean I guess it does ostensibly save some fuel or whatever, but it also occurs to me. It's like
How good is it for an engine to start and like to stop it and restart it?
essentially
Maybe 500 times more than you normally would during a lifespan of a car. Yeah, that can't be good for it
That's like turning off your phone every time you put it in your pocket. It's like no, no, don't do that
Let it let it idle it can make an idol. It's a thing is that can you think of a more dad be like not
That is such a dad thing
Like what are you doing dad? I need to start my phone up cuz I only turn it off every time I'm not well save you exactly egg exactly yes that is
that God I don't know anyone who does that but if they do do it I guarantee you
it's like a dad of like one of our dads you know someone in there like late
60s early 70s yeah going like no of course you turn them why would I keep it
on if I'm not using it whatever you need to get a call no one they'll call your mom?
They really need to get a hold of me. They'll call mom. I just have it on and being able to turn it on whatever I need it
Yeah, turn it on get on Facebook post something subtly racist turn it off, and I'm good
But that's save is so much electricity. That's why I I'm I'm my plan I mentioned this before in a time
I don't want a car I'm my plan. I mentioned this before another time. I don't want a car
I'm hoping okay that when oh, I'm gonna try it out, but when my car eventually dies it
Could be today could be I thought it was making noises. Okay when I was leaving
Something it's like a pet or something. It's gonna die soon. We're gonna take it to the vet. There was this noise coming from the trunk. Yeah, if it's a pet then it's like missing parts
Rainbow highway last time I was on this podcast. Oh, yeah, there's my car door handle
Yeah, it came off okay, so if you're in the passenger seat of my car good luck getting out. Don't don't say that that sounds creepy
Would you like to play a game?
That's the interior handle
Yeah, yeah, it broke off
But winning my car dies that feels so shitty
Yeah, that's why I broke off. But that's that I'd
love to just like not have a car in like Uber places and do the math like what's the cost
of like a you know, you spend a car payment plus like your insurance hire plus gas and
it versus just Ubering to the like you know, and you're not like I mean I feel like Austin
is also a place where that actually might make financial sense if you don't like
Well, you don't go a lot of places and or have to commute to the office every single day
Yeah, I don't I'm and I don't live so far away that it's like a crazy Uber, right?
You know, so it's like I don't know I'm I'm gonna do it for a bit and see and then do the math and see like oh
Yeah, I feel like Uber has gone way up in price lately though
Like I remember like the last time has like I went to Orlando recently
And I was just like the plan was to uber to our hotel because our friend was picking us up the next day
Mm-hmm, and the uber from the airport to the hotel was like 50 bucks
I checked on like the rental car site. It was like $70 for a rental car for like a full day and I'm like
Oh, hell, let's rent a car and then I'll then I can go wherever I want to drive. I hate driving. I love driving
I love that's another thing. I just hate driving. Okay. I I did have a weird experience
driver recently that's shock. No, yeah
Whoa a weird experience of the new driver. Let's go
So it was actually on the way to an airport.
Okay.
And there are a couple of us in a car.
An airport.
Unnamed.
Yeah.
And, you know, we get in, it's silent, you know, we're like, oh yeah, yeah, go to an
airport, cool, and sit in there just like, you know, silence.
Like, you know, it's like, you know.
How I want it to be in a car, Franklin.
Yeah, that's how I want it. We exchange pleasantries and then it's just silence and then this guy he after
must have been five minutes of silence he's like hey can I ask you a question
nope and I just remember like in the car like other passengers or we like looked each other
We're like sure and he was if you guys ever tried tofu
That's exact is that any drug that I don't know about or is he talking about?
Yeah, he's like I was like yeah
It's like that it's really good. I just had fried tofu with pepper.
Oh my God.
And he just went off about tofu for the rest of the ride.
And like, obviously, I think he was stoned.
He could, he's like, I can still taste it.
It's like I'm eating it right now. You are eating it right now. Obviously, I think he was stoned
It's like I'm eating it right now you are eating it right now
Man what he might have been stoned, but I was so I've never been so happy to hear like you ever had tofu
Sure the collective buttholes in the backseat yeah tight when a driver goes hey, can I ask you a question like?
he just like
It was like yeah
Approached so cautiously. It's like hey, so
Can I ask y'all a question like he was like yeah?
Like bracing like he was gonna ask you for money. Yeah
In a rough time. Hey, it's so
Yeah, have you ever helped dispose of a body
Just directly if where's one in the trunk. Yeah, it's not it's not the truck. It's not dead. I mean maybe yeah, bye now
So if you get into a car like that if you get into an Uber or taxi or something
Do you if the if the taxi driver or Ubi driver initiates conversation? Do you then just talk or do you kind of like try to shut it down and go silent the whole ride?
Pins on one word answers. Yeah. Yep. Like you got a lot of plans while you're out here. Like, yep.
Can it depend?
And then end it or do you keep it going?
If I'm like in a talkative mood,
a lot of times I'm like power down kind of person.
Where I'm like, oh, if I'm going out,
if I, that's probably it.
Am I going out or am I coming home?
Okay.
Because if I'm going out,
I'm probably conserving energy, right? So I'm like, I'm going out. Your screensaver home? Okay, interesting. If I'm going out, I'm probably conserving energy, right?
So I'm like, I'm going out.
Your screensaver mode in the car on the way there.
Exactly, I didn't power down all the way,
like phone in the pocket.
So I still, I'll exchange pleasantries,
but I'll generally be like, yeah, I'm saving energy.
If I'm going home, I'm like, but now socializing,
so I'm more on and I'm also like about to go home.
So I'm more likely to like engage
Totally back with like the opposite of that because I figure you're going out. It's almost like an appetizer
It's like all right warm myself up, you know, I'm in the batter box right now social lubricant exactly
Yeah, all right, we're ready to go. No, no, I think it's just the way like even it
You know something like at a Vincent things like, you know, sure
I'll talk talk talk and then I'll go find a corner and just kind of like lander a table
Under a table and like, you know what I mean?
Like I'm like I need to like quiet place to chill for five to ten minutes
I'm like, you know, I'm like conserving sure
Energy and then I'm like then I go out. I'll talk talk talk. Yeah. No, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,
I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'may. I think like, well, also, I mean, well, first of all, I would say the back of an Uber, like being in an Uber,
in terms of conversation, is an entirely vibes-based economy.
It's like, you have to have some kind of like,
read on the temp in the car.
And I don't mean the actual temp.
I mean the like, you know, human being,
relations temperature inside a car, where you can sense like, and usually the like, you know, human being, a relations temperature inside a car
where you can sense like, and usually it's when you get in and you realize they're listening
to another unnamed podcast by a very famous, very rich, very red host that lives here.
You've heard of Info Wars.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, Christ.
And that's when my headphones go in. I'm like, yep. Sorry, call. Sorry, I gotta make, yeah, exactly. Oh Christ. Yeah. And that's when my headphones go. Yeah. Sorry. Call.
Sorry. I got to make. Yeah, exactly.
Have you ever made a fake phone call in the back of my
I've had fake meetings before.
Yes. Absolutely.
Yes. I've never done that.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm going to I got to take this meeting in like during COVID.
Then every now and like, yeah, it sounds about right.
Twitter. Yeah.
Yeah. I have done that once before is because I the Uber.
Or I think it was as a matter of what. Yeah. The ride share that once before, because I think it was, it doesn't matter what it is.
The ride share that I was in the back of
was listening to...
An experience of some nature.
Some sort of experience by, say, some J. Rogan.
No, that's too obvious.
How about Joe R?
And it was not...
Someone from newsroom, basically.
Yeah, I was actually, the last time I was in an Uber, actually I was in a taxi, I was with Gavin in Vegas.
And we were going from the airport to our hotel.
And it couldn't have been more polar opposites
between myself and Gavin.
So we get in this car, I'm from the South,
my dad's a car salesman, so I just have the gift of gab
as part of me. Sure, yeah.
So we get in this car, immediately the driver is like, oh, what are you guys here for? You all having a good? from the south, my dad's a car salesman. So like I just have the gift of gab as part of me. Sure, yeah.
So we're giving this car immediately the driver is like,
oh, what are you guys here for?
You all having a good, and just like, just going off.
I'm like, this guy is not going to stop.
And so Gavin, yeah, and it's dead silent.
It's like, all right, man, I guess I'll carry this load.
And so like I'm just talking to this guy
and I'm trying to like give like trailing sentences.
Like, okay, like, all right, we're going to stop talking now.
And he just keeps like, oh, you guys from Texas, you big Cowboys fans, you like that you like, and that's okay like all right We're gonna stop talking out and just keeps like oh you guys from Texas
You big Cowboys fans you like that you like and that's like all right
I guess I know this stuff and so Gavin just look at me like why you talking to guy. I'm like cuz the guys
Yeah, he's like talking to me. I'm not gonna not talk back to the guy
That's just rude then you have to sit there with like him feeling shitty driving you around like I've got these two assholes in
The back. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know something about that like yeah, I'll probably never see this guy in my life
But at the same time I don't want to come across as an asshole, of course, but I would say that's because
similarly like I will
more often than not try to
Take the off ramp to any conversation with again, it's like I don't want to be rude but also like I don't like talking
It's again the wrong with again, it's like, I don't want to be rude, but also like, I don't like talking to,
again, the wrong venue for like having a conversation.
Also like, but what I was gonna say is that like,
I will unfalteringly fulfill the social contract,
which is just like, someone's having a conversation
with you, time to do your part.
It's like, we got a team lift this couch,
you know, like get the other end. And I was like, okay, I guess I will.
And like answer the questions and try to be somewhat responsive.
And unless it is just like,
Defconn won Red Alert, this person is like, psycho.
All kept psycho.
And then in which case, yeah, the fake meeting,
the fake phone call, the like headphones in, what have you.
That'll be the move.
But yeah, I understand that impulse to be like,
we also have the gifted guy and be like, well, no,
I guess I've got it.
I'll do this one.
It is really about the first 30 seconds of being
in a vehicle.
You know how it's going to go.
It's like, OK, this dude's got one
of those old school Bluetooth things in his ears.
All right, cool.
He's not going to be paying attention to me. Yeah. Unless it's gonna go. It's like, okay, this dude's got one of those old school Bluetooth things in his ears. Like, all right, cool, he's not gonna be paying attention
to me, but.
Unless it's this guy and five minutes of silence go by.
That's the thing, it was like, oh yeah, that is wild, dog.
That is insane.
That's because like, the precursor of five minutes
of silence and then talking, you're like,
well, I'm either killing somebody or about to be killed.
Like, there's like, this is like intense. God, just out of no- was there any music on?
Was there any like, noise? Just road noise?
Was he just looking in the review mirror the whole time, just staring at you?
I wasn't paying attention at that point because I thought we were like, yeah, okay, cool.
We've established this. We've established. We had a couple. Yeah, go to the airport. Cool.
Established yeah, we had a couple yeah go to the airport cool
No, not so much
Hey you guys
Have you ever tried tofu the collective sigh of relief just the oh thank God, but then also the
Fuck yes, of course then you have like actually have to engage with the question. You're like what do you got your mind? Of course you have. Let's see, hindsight should have been like tofu
Is that like a foot that what is a tofu?
Is that like an app? Yeah
It's like a dating app or something?
And it's really a dating app. I have something to tell you
Yeah, I have no idea. I'm not just blowing your mind.
We're pulling over
I'm really gonna fling to catch you
You got that time?
Pulling over, yeah, into a fucking Asian grocery store.
You guys are gonna go nuts.
I don't know if Ralph's will have it.
We'll try it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha we do when we get to visit with our friends here. You can go to theroosteathpodcast.com slash first.
No question mark.
No question mark.
No question mark.
Hyphen?
Roosteath.
Dot dot dot.
Question mark?
Yeah.
There's no ellipsis in here, URL, that's weird.
No, yeah, this is a way you can support the show.
You get access to things like Discord Hangouts.
You can comment on our videos and say nice things
about your sweet hosts.
And a host of other stuff.
We do some live streams.
We did a live stream of the Quarry the other day
that the game is fun.
Choose your own adventure story game.
It was a blast, mostly because of the mechanic.
Like, essentially we just master pancaked it.
Like, it treated it like a movie
and made like the worst decisions possible.
And then Armando also wouldn't stop like repeating actions
that didn't lead anywhere.
So it's like, you pick up a thing and look at it
and then put it down and then be like, pick up a thing,
put it down just annoying absolutely everybody.
And it was a blast.
And I was like crying laughing half the time.
So yeah, you get access to something like that.
If you'd like to support the show,
yeah, the Rooster Teeth Podcast.com slash first.
Yeah, it's the best bang for your entertainment dollar.
I've said it before, I'll say it again.
And it's also just the best way to be a good person.
That's right.
And a friend. And fulfill your portion of the social contract to be a good person. That's right. Yeah.
And a friend.
And fulfill your portion of the social contract
like we talked about today.
No, yeah, I mean, you'll get all the Sticky Dragon adventures.
You get access to that.
That's the thing.
It's like, it's what it's like, six bucks a month.
You can support this show.
Yeah, fine.
If you do, if I do this because we're doing a video tomorrow.
Yes. I do this because we're doing a video tomorrow. Yes
for less than 17 cents a day
You too can help feed an Andrew
He is starving. Yeah clearly
But yeah, we did the math because we're doing that nice
And I was like ASPC
If you do that if you do sign for 12 months 17th since today less than that
That's less than I mean
That's less than the price of a cup of coffee less than the price of cup of coffee, which is actually wildly expensive That's pretty expensive. Yeah, that's almost the cost of a membership every day
I'm gonna buy a cup of coffee. This is like stop drinking coffee
psychos
Six dollar coffee every day. Let's jump change. So yes, please go to the roosterteethpodcast.com
First and support the show. We really appreciate it
Thank you and back and now we're back to the podcast. Oh, yeah, we haven't we're gonna cut to an ad right there Cody
Oh, yeah, we haven't we're gonna cut to an ad right there Cody
How about that oh
Okay, Cody has his own camera that makes me happy yeah
Why do you have your camera no offense I
Like it. I like it go to the Kodi cam. Yeah beautiful beautiful
I was gonna ask Grock or whatever the fuck that a is called, but I decided I'll ask you somebody posted this
On there yesterday, and it got me thinking which is post a screenshot from a game that gives you that gives you the most anxiety
Okay gaming anxiety
And I immediately had my answer I know that I know the game that I played that like I had to actually stop I never finished it because it stressed me out too
Wow, okay alien isolation. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, I
that game it like I
They should have made a special like heartbeat attachment for that game
I think the game actually does that.
Like if you're in the locker
and you've got the little
little like a fucking motion tracker thing up,
like I think the soundtrack actually does like
start pumping your heartbeat into like the sound effects.
I think it does that,
but I couldn't even finish that game
because it is so stressful.
And I'm not like a fun way where it's like,
oh, this is like a challenge.
And it's like really getting my heart going.
It's like, I, this is not enjoyable for me.
This is like pure anxiety.
Did you ever play Alien Isolation?
I never played through it.
I saw it though.
Yeah, yeah.
But yeah, I'm not a big fan of the scary horror games.
I think like Dead Space is kind of my limit.
I love me some Dead Space.
But I think the thing that would probably drive me,
give me the most anxiety sure would be mine sweeper
When the yeti comes and gets you me like a 50-50 and it's like I've spent all this time and I was a bit like god damn it
Like there's literally a coin toss. What can you do?
Not skill based. Yeah, exactly. So what's the point, you know, so funny mine sweeper? I will destroy some minesweeper. I am the king of non athletic stuff. So it's like mineswap. Like I mean like shooters this time
I'm not good at but like mine sweeper. I'll crush you out air hockey
I will dominate anyone at darts. Let's do this bowling. Sure bonus like soccer or football like I'm good
King of the bar games. Yeah, exactly.
King of the bar game.
You have shuffleboard?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Shuffleboard's good.
The little ring with the hook where you drop it
and it hooks on the thing.
Oh, yeah.
King of that.
But yeah, when it comes to anything with true athleticism,
no, not me.
Giant Jenga.
Yeah, yeah.
Man, do you remember?
I think that's kind of gone.
I think that's kind of gone, by the way.
We're immediately moving off games.
I didn't mean to allow Chris to answer.
Well, it's still a game.
Every game gives me anxiety.
If I'm playing on a team where I have to like...
Any kind of support role?
Yeah, I'm like, I'm gonna mess it up.
And then inevitably I do.
And they're like, ah, I'm sorry guys.
I knew what was gonna happen.
I knew you were gonna blow it, Chris.
There, I think it might have gone gone it might be out of vogue or I'm old and don't go to bars anymore
Either of these are possibilities, but I feel like pre-pandemic
We were in a real in like the 2015 to 2018 era
We were in a real heyday of like every bar having just
Games everywhere.
Like it was a, there was a real push to get people out there.
I mean the giant Jenga, the swinging key,
the swinging hook thing, that was like at every fucking bar
in this town.
I don't know if it was that way across America,
but like the giant Jenga thing was a thing that really,
I like just cracked me up so much because it was like,
like might as well just give a bunch of like drunk adults
hungry, hungry hippos.
It's like, can we make this any clatterier or louder?
Or we're already at a bar where people are like screaming,
there's music going on.
Let's add some like tumbling blocks to this scenario.
I don't know.
It was just like, this is aint for me, man.
Yeah, how many glasses got shattered from falling jams?
Well, this is, you know.
Last time I went, which was pretty recent.
I took an Uber was pretty recent.
Took an Uber there.
Goodness, it might have been this a week ago.
I played giant Jenga at a bar. OK, so it's still out there.
And yes, and yes, a glass was broken.
Yep, called it. Yeah.
And yes, was it worth it?
I didn't I didn't knock it. OK. Well, but you're playing though. I was playing it
Um, how many rounds were played or was it like we said you set it up?
Oh, really? Okay. Yeah, that feels like something you would just set up once
I don't want to do it. It was like friend of a friend's birthday. Sure thing
and so
Everyone's just kind of like searching for something fun to do
Yeah, yeah, we got kind of like searching for something fun to do.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We got kind of sick of talking to each other and relating.
So we needed some sort of external distraction.
And yeah, so it was a dinga.
And you know, at some point, again,
like you start inventing rules.
Of course, you augment to make it more
Yeah, offhand with your team role you can't do I did for one like I guess it only worked for but you can't play
Jenga with your feet I
Mean you can you shouldn't you shouldn't
Anyway, that's what happened and then you're like let's quit Jenga
Good call and then they're like, let's quit Jenga. A smart move. Yeah, good call, awful.
Yeah.
That feels like, I feel like they're, you know,
again, I think like the great American pastime isn't baseball.
It's altering rules to existing games.
Which is just football.
Which is, just to make it more, to allow you to drink more.
I think that's just like, OK, here's the thing.
We're going to play giant Jenga, but get this.
On the bottom of every block is written like,
plus one, like, okay, take a shot, take, you know,
and in fact, coming to Extra Life next year,
probably some form of like, Giant Jingo,
where something horrible is written
on the bottom of the block, and you know,
write that down, someone write that down,
we'll do something like that.
It's a go to.
And guess what, Chad has to do every single one of them.
It's nobody on the teams, it's just all Chad is our nuclear whipping boy for that game
May I have my old man shakes fist at clouds moment here?
Sir, please what happened to pool halls?
Pool halls used to be a thing you'd go play you shoot
Bulls your friends you drink your alcohol you take your time
Usually it was smoky because I was like the one, like other than bingo, that was the other place
you could smoke indoors.
And I remember spending so much time in pool halls,
like in college and just after college,
and that was like the best.
Was it?
Yeah, I loved it.
I love playing pool.
Again, I think the king of non-athletic sports,
I loved playing pool.
But it was great because it was nice and big,
it was nice and spaced out. It wasn't too crowded.
You had an activity to do, but you could still
talk to your friends on the side.
I don't know.
I feel like all pool halls are gone now.
Jack, I'm about to make your day.
Go to the Grand on Airport Boulevard.
It's a pool hall.
It still exists.
It's great.
Yeah, and it's a big ass pool.
It's a big space.
It's not like three tables.
That's the one on the corner, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not three big space. It's not like three tables. That's the one on the corner, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've got, it's not three tables.
They've got like 20 pool tables.
It's like old school pool hall.
And maybe, I mean, one of the last.
Truly one of the last.
Cause yeah, those were big things.
And at high school, that was the thing.
You go to pool.
Look, Willie's died.
No one knows what happened to it.
Cause you could go there in San Antonio.
There was a couple of pool halls that you could go to.
And there was drinking in there,
but I think you could still go in there when you were 18.
Or maybe there was an 18 only pool.
Anyway, I do remember being in a pool hall
when I was under 21.
And yeah, that was just like a good,
that was like solid hang.
I feel like these larger spaces,
like bowling is not really a thing anymore.
Like I still love bowling.
I mean, I still love bowling.
I just don't go very often,
but it's like when I was in high school,'d go bowling all the time showplace lanes, man
I spent so much time at showplace lanes. It's now a freaking out the school. So
There was no school just
It's like 35 in Runberg
So it's like the most sketchy area and you would like drive behind this super sketchy motel to get to like the parking lot and I love that. It had a great arcade in there too.
Tons of lanes. I love that place. Well, this brings up, I think this speaks to something larger and
you know people have talked about it's been in the news. People are studying this psychology of this
ad nauseam but this like the loneliness epidemic. This like people feel very like disconnected
from their community. feel very like you know
atomized and isolated from from their friends and everything like that
And I think and people have talked about this it's because we're missing the third place
We're missing the third place to go you have work and home and that's mostly where you spend your time
It's also where a lot of people do their socializing and there's nothing wrong with that
My best friends work on this podcast with me like oh that's sweet of you to talk
with that my best friends work on this podcast with me like oh that's sweet of you to talk about buddies but I guess best friends no man like Griffin Armando
are like my best friends we hang out all the time and yeah sorry I'm sorry to
lower the boom on you like that but like the came in Jack yeah you guys can you
guys can team up but like you prime example the mall the mall used to have
it all the malls where you would go to hang out the fucking pool halls the like the Walmart parking
The Walmart party the Walmart in 64 we used to have we used to be a country
But no sir like I think that's like those kind of places those like again and that aren't bars
I want to say that that specifically because I think like a third place that is a third place
If you want it can be a bar, but like social interaction and then and to like just you know talk. Yeah
mmm right here
I should need a friend yeah, it's way cheaper than therapy
I mean
I worked my first job out of high school or during high school was on an arcade
And a hundred percent was that like that's where you would go in the mall like the Lakeline mall arcade of Sega City
It's where I work. I love that place because Sega City is what it was called. It was Sega City
Then it was a game works something game. It was game works basically so Sega City just seems like you're like I don't know
Kind of brain. I mean, when was this
This was a bit like the the mid to late 90s. Okay. Yeah, and they were just like no Nintendo here
We don't say you city was actually it was a chain. There were a bunch of our kids
Oh, so like tilt or Aladdin's castle like there were there were series of yeah
To be like not just Sega's
is dark. Oh, man.
But like to be like, nah, just sagas.
No, they had everything.
I know, but still.
We did have a sweet Daytona USA that was like the four-player one that had like the hydraulics
on it.
Sick.
Love the shit out of that thing.
Damn.
Every now and then we'd set it, because you could adjust the length of races.
We mostly had it in the short ones, but like we had special events where you could do 99
laps on like Daytona, and you you actually have to pit and everything,
and it was so much fun, I love that place.
And then we slowly got ticket games,
that ruined everything.
Yes, yeah, so.
Stupid ticket games.
There was an arcade, I can't remember what it was called
in San Antonio, that was a pure arcade,
and it was Nickel games.
So you would go in there with like $5 and and play all I mean just like all afternoon all evening
Was like you could play for a nickel and it was non-ticketed. It was just like come in and have a good time
Oh, we my sodas and pizza that was like and it was like the worst pizza in America. My Christ
Geez, I mean a Totino's was Michelin star
I mean, a Totino's was Michelin Star compared to this fucking pizza. But guess what?
When you're like 14, goddamn, does that pizza go hard?
Yeah.
You burn through in a heartbeat, too.
Yeah, exactly.
No, now it just stops your heartbeat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
We had Einstein's arcade down by campus, down by UT.
I don't remember that back in the day.
I think it's now like a pot belly or something.
We had a La Fun, which was like they'd
subleased out a chunk of the Scientology building. And so
like you would have to walk past the people offering free
like, you know, Thiedin checks or whatever to go play the
La Fun. And then we had the one and Dolby mall as well. And
they're all gone now. Like Arcade UFO opened up. I think
that's moved now. It's
kids have disappeared kids just have iPad. They look at iPad.
That's what they do now. They just want to look at iPad. They
have the app. They those angry birds and the real real old man
shaking every every phone game is an angry bird
play that angry birds let's just pack man angry birds sorry I gotta power up my
phone to complain about this yeah that's like I mean is it you know is it
because is it because people on phone is it because people on phone?
Is it because people are on phone that we don't have arcade?
Cause like, man, I mean, there is the,
I mean, Dave and Buster still exists.
I haven't been to one in forever.
Because like, again, you know,
well, the last time I went into it, Dave and Buster's,
it was like, they had just gone to like all power cards
and like, it was ticketeded based but it was also all
done electronically on cards and it was very weird it felt like a casino it
didn't feel like a arcade anymore and so like the vibe was off for me so I don't
know if that maybe that's what changed well David Buster's always sold as
like the adult arcade you know it's like oh you know you get a beer here and then
go play arcade games whereas like when I grew up it was like the mall so literally
it was like oh you would go to your quiz nose get your sub and then come down and
Place market games, but yeah, I need I need the see you under you must understand
I need the grease from the sabaros pizza that lubricates my hand so I can do all the finishing moves immortal combat
Yeah, exactly, but uh, yeah, I mean like stuff like that. You're right like there is no third location anymore
I mean there are like them like the mall is pretty much dead. That's I've heard it's coming back. Yeah, I hope so
But I don't know where I heard again. I think it's another podcast here
What yeah, it was
No, I think Jeff is convinced on bleep face that
Right, Jeff isn't a proselytizing the mall coming back. Yeah. Yeah, meanwhile
We have a mall that's literally become a community college here in Austin, which is great
I mean, it's good use of it, but at the same time that mall died, you know and Barton Creek Mall is like the only one
We have all your favorite places are becoming schools. I know what the hell
My bowling lane my my mall. They're all schools now. Education wise!
That is a very funny, that's a very funny question.
Let me tell you a very quick story.
This is not funny. This is a tragedy.
A tragedy, yay!
A tragedy, the ultimate comedy.
So, the Highland Mall, which is now again, a CC Highland
I think there's still lids in there. Maybe there might be
It's right next to the chemistry
That'd be cool if they could properly integrate a mall school. I mean if anti-ans is there it's gonna be fine
Students, please put down your giant cookies. Yes
Um, students, please put down your giant cookies. Yes
My casco cookies borrows
Imagine imagine imagine a world
Matt got guys. This is the America that we've been dreaming of no, I was saying like
So back to tragedy back to the tragedy Highland Mall
There was a Macy's there
Because it was a mall and so there was a Macy's and, because it was a mall, and so there was a Macy's. And I remember going there, and I needed,
because I needed a suit.
I needed a suit for a wedding, and I went and got a suit.
And I went in there, and it was,
I was the only person in that Macy's.
Beside the, what I'm convinced now,
were just like, probably ghosts working there.
But I say that, because I'm convinced now were just like probably ghosts working there.
But I say that because I'm kind of spoiling the story where this goes.
I got a suit and the only there was a lady there who helped me, like, you know,
get the size and all the stuff and sent it out, you know, measured me and all that kind of stuff sent out for the tailoring.
Dad, the pants hemmed and this this lady was like, I'm easily above 80.
Okay.
Very lovely woman.
Running for president.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very lovely.
I mean, like the weight of time
that hunched her so tremendously.
So again, this is a tragedy.
Very sweet woman, helped me with my suit. I
Come back the next week to get it. She died
The next week after I got it Macy's closed forever
This is like within the span of two weeks. Just like they couldn't run without her
I'm convinced that lady was single-handedly keeping that place afloat. She was the linchpin. That was Beatrice Macy.
Who died. It was her soul kept up with her life.
When you showed up, were you like, oh, where's... where's...
And they're like, she's bitten dead.
Yes. She hasn't worked here in 50 years.
No, it was like, I mean, it is sad and you know,
all right, I guess you were trying to see.
Gladys, yeah.
I guess I need another one now for a funeral.
No, but like, it was just like the sequence of events
was just shocking to me.
How did you find out that they tell you,
oh, by the way, this woman died or did you ask for her? Yes?
Unbidden unprompted. I like wait wait did they know did they recognize you so what you?
It's the one from last week
Our customer
My god, I so as I recall like I went in there and it was a different lady working there young younger lady and
Like she looked up the ticket for the suit and everything. You were turning it? I was picking it up because it had been altered.
They sent it away.
Oh, okay.
Like, alter it, you know, do the alterations.
And then I picked it up a week later.
And when I came back, she was like,
oh Beatrice Gladys, whatever, you know,
Octogenarian name was the lady who filled it out,
who filled out the ticket.
She was like, oh, so and so helped you.
She died.
I was like, what the fuck are you telling me this?
Oh my god.
Oh, jean, of course, like picking up a suit,
like again, just not at all prepared
to receive that information.
So I had just to be like, oh, I'm, oh, God, jeez, I'm so sorry.
Yeah, my suit.
I don't know.
I got a bachelor party I'd go to.
It just, again, I mean, I'm very similar
to being in the back of an Uber where it's just like,
what a weird vibe shift that occurred
in just the span of like 15 seconds.
But yeah, so all this is to say, bring them all back.
Avenged Gladys, Avenged Beatrice, Avenged Joyce, whatever her name might have been.
The last customer she ever had, you could have been.
For all we know, the last time she met a person for the first time.
Oh, whoa. That's a person for the first time. Ooh. Whoa.
That's a good way to go out.
Guys, what a fan.
We're not going to get a better exit than that.
That's the way to stick the landing.
Folks, thank you guys so much for listening
and for watching the Rooster Teeth podcast.
This has been a blast.
Hopefully, Griff and Armando will not be alive and with us next week. But I know, alive and with us, uh, next week.
But I want to thank our, uh, cohost today, Chris and Jack.
Thank you all for being here.
Thank you.
Really appreciate it.
What a blast.
Uh, yeah, we'll talk to you next week.
All right.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.