Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Delta Loop - #796
Episode Date: April 8, 2024This episode of the Rooster Teeth Podcast is sponsored by TyCo! And it's not what you think... Honestly, most of this episode isn't what you would expect. Seriously. Armando kept restarting the show.... Andrew would laugh at random thoughts in his head and no one would understand why. Griff was there I think. Idk, come watch it I guess. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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Welcome to the only podcast that recently discovered Delta 9.
It's the RT podcast.
Hey, is that will that fly?
Who cares?
I'm in Griff's glasses.
I'm Andrew Rosas.
Yeah.
Give it up for liberal arts, Harry Potter, Andrew Rosas. And with us we have?
All those ads you get for gummies on Instagram.
Wait, you get ads for gummies?
I get four kinds of ads on Instagram.
What are they?
One I will not say.
Why?
It's too much.
Is it dangerous or sexual?
Yeah.
OK. Ooh. Yeah. OK.
Ooh.
Two.
Yes.
It's autoreerotic excitation, kids.
Two, it's like these weird, like, manga websites
where it's just like the most, like, weirdest, like, stories.
It'll be like, hi, I'm Caitlin, and I've stolen every boyfriend
my ugly friend has ever had.
And I'm like, why do I keep getting ads like this
as I, like, scroll through to see what the story is?
I don't like ads about websites
because that feels like,
I feel like I've discovered every website
that I'd need to know.
You know what I mean?
Like I got Spotify, Facebook and Pornhub.
I don't really need anything past that in websites.
All of the, well, two of those are fucking apps.
They're not even websites anymore. Two of them are apps. Man, all of the, well two of those are fucking apps. They're not even websites anymore.
Two of them are apps.
Man, like I feel like,
I try to think about actual websites I go to.
I can't even think of ones I go to.
Like type in into a URL.
Like if I'm trying to buy a nice shirt,
that's the only time.
Yeah, I'll go to a shops website.
Yeah.
But like that's almost entirely for commerce.
What's happening with you is that somebody made a website,
a brand new one, bought a domain and everything,
and then they went, people gotta see this.
People gotta see this right fucking now. And then they take out an ad and it hits your ass. Okay, so you got Danger Sexual,
you got manga websites.
And then I have a somehow legal gummy. Okay. And then the last one is like X plus AI.
So it'll be like, oh, you want to take better pictures
on your camera?
Use this AI tool.
Oh, do you want to write better emails?
Use this AI tool.
Oh, you want to come up with creators?
Use this AI tool.
And I'm like, I don't like that.
I, I, I can't wait till I get replaced by an AI tool. I'm laughing it
It's nothing related to anything
What are you laughing at?
watching cruising
Two weeks ago two weeks ago. Sorry.
It's unrepeatable.
I can't even be said on this show.
This is the second time that on a podcast
that Griff and I have talked about watching Cruising
with you.
I know.
We talked about the Cruising hanky code
the other day on Colt podcast because it's a...
God.
If you're unfamiliar, Cruising is a movie
that Al Pacino decided to do after The Godfathers.
After!
Like four years after, and it is about Al Pacino playing a beat cop who's asked to go undercover
to catch a gay serial killer.
And if you're asking, a serial killer of gays or a gay who serial kills, yes.
Anyway, the entire A plot of the movie
is that Al Pacino does not do anything
to help catch the criminal.
He only makes wrong decisions
and mostly focuses on learning like gay lingo
and culture and slang.
Yeah, most of the movie is Al Pacino
trying to convince himself to be gay.
Yeah, it's him doing an anthropology,
it's him studying abroad, basically.
And studying a man.
Yeah, he was studying a few, studying some men.
Hey, but yeah, it's like him doing
like an anthropological study.
Meanwhile, Killer continues unabated,
just absolutely like mowing through mowing through dudes in a
bad way. That's one of the bars in Wings. So all of the bars sound like murder scenes there's like the
meat hook. Which had a bunch of meat hooks hanging outside. The cockpit. The cockpit.
The chalk outline of the gay deceased. That was weirdly that was weird. Yeah. Yeah
The entire B plot of this movie is the cops actually catching the serial killer and Al Pacino
Trying to become gay
And it is the most insane shit. I've ever seen in my entire life
The bar called is this your son?
And the neon sign is lifting a fucking cover.
Oh my Jesus.
It's awful.
Why do we do this?
Oh, anyway, worth a watch.
Funny movie.
There's a scene, maybe the best scene in the movie
is where Al Pacino does poppers for the,
he doesn't even do poppers.
He like huffs a rag, he like huffs a rag of ether
and then like, like goes super super Saiyan at bad dancing.
Like he just starts dancing really fucking hard.
It's insane.
It's an insane, insane movie.
Oh, we should watch that again.
Let's watch it.
We need to watch it.
Absolutely.
We should watch it right now.
Can we put it on all of the monitors?
Yeah.
Thank you.
Thank you.
One of my favorite scenes from the movie
is when Al Pacino's character, whose name I cannot remember, so I continuously just call Al Pacino. Yeah, thank you. One of my favorite scenes from the movie is when Al Pacino's character,
whose name I cannot remember,
so I continuously just call Al Pacino.
Yeah, of course.
Al Pacino is learning about hanky code
because he goes into a liquor store and goes,
what are these flags?
And they're like, well,
the yellow one means you piss on people,
but if you put it in this pocket,
it means you get pissed on.
This one means you want a blowjob.
This one says you give a blowjob.
It was like Willy Wonka, but for things
that could happen to your penis.
An everlasting knob slobber.
Yeah, there you go.
There we go.
There we go.
Oh, and it's off the rim.
Oh.
Oh, and it's......Otherim!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Why go on?
Give me a gun.
This is it.
That was it for me. Fly us in a gun, please. Fly Give me a gun. That's it. That was it for me.
Fly us in a gun, please.
Fly us in a gun.
Oh.
Thank you.
Oh.
Oh.
It's a fantastic movie.
I love when movies are just the weirdest shit
you've ever seen before.
Yeah.
Because I feel like most of cruising,
I don't wanna presume anything about the person
who made it, which by the way,
also made The Exorcist right yeah
Yeah, yeah
The exorcist and then this movie anyway a lot of this a lot of cruising felt like somebody hearing about
a story about a gay person and going they do what and then
There was a time in Hollywood and I wish we could get back to this we probably never will there was a time in Hollywood, and I wish we could get back to this, we probably never will.
There was a time in Hollywood where movies were made of cocaine.
And I, like, everyone involved was a, everyone involved from like a PA up to the executive was essentially a snowman.
They were so fucking gacked out of their minds.
And that's how like the craziest movies like came to be.
And that just like doesn't happen anymore.
They're drinking green juice out there anymore.
They need to start doing way more.
Way more drugs.
And like, but like bad blow.
Like it's bad.
It's like cut with baby powder.
It's so, it's so stepped on.
But they need to start doing that shit again to get the,
so we get to see movies like fucking cruising
Absolutely one of those movies more stepped on less 10,000 steps. Yeah, that is correct
I need my filmmakers to be wildly unhealthy. Yes
Looking like 60
More fucking
Kid stays in the picture
Robert Evans asking himself asking himself questions.
More executives like, did I make the right decision?
Maybe, I think I did.
Was it good?
Maybe, I don't know.
So high.
Like we need more people like that,
just absolutely lunatics running the show.
I love that you and I have the same opinion.
Yours is about Hollywood and mine is about baseball,
which is, let them juice.
Oh dude.
Just fucking let them juice.
I wanna see it.
That's what I want to see.
This is what they can do with a regulated amount of dosing.
I want to see what they can do with unlimited.
I want to see the untapped potential of the human body.
I want to see Barry Bonds come back.
They're definitely going to be dead.
Is he dead?
No, he's not.
Oh, thank God.
No, the fucking, the goddamn, there's a guy,
I think in Australia, of course,
like an Australian billionaire wants to do,
we might have talked about it on the show,
but wants to do, we did,
but I think we're for an always on.
It was an always on joke.
There's an Australian billionaire
who wants to have essentially like the juiced Olympics.
Like you can do as much fucking gear as you want
and compete and it's just like, okay.
I feel like, The enhanced Olympic games, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like if you do that,
you actually find out who the real best athlete is.
Yeah.
It maximum potential unlock.
There is no more excuses.
Well, you are all that you are all slider at 10 right now.
Now it's just your innate skill.
Well, and the best part about that is it actually does test
your true athleticism because not only does it like push
your physical like mental, like does it push your like
ability to compete in a sport to the limit?
So like weightlifting or whatever,
but then you're also have the uphill battle
of fighting the grave, which is like clamoring for you.
It's like, yeah.
So like not only you're like, oh, I'm like, clamoring for you. It's like, yeah, so like, not only you're like,
oh, I'm like lifting like 2,000 pounds,
you're also, yeah, again, like,
dodging, fucking limboing under the grimy Brassai
constantly because that shit destroys your body.
I'd be so sick.
But think about all the, think about all the dingers.
They have to make a baseball field bigger.
Like they have to extend the. But if you build it, they come yeah, they'll come cured up dude. That was one of the other bars in cruising
Yeah, if you built it they'll come
That's not how that was on the marquee
Marquee was the door guy
Yellow hankie
Left pocket left pocket. Oh my god. Yeah, it was uh, I would I would definitely I would definitely watch the enhanced games
It will never it will never happen. I mean that's essentially like oh, yeah, we're having the enhanced games
Yeah, it's happening on Madagascar. Did I say Madagascar? I'm into a smaller island. Did I say a smaller?
I mean like on my boat like I mean in rational waters like that's how it's gonna have to get like
You know, it's gonna happen.
You know what, someone's gonna buy a decommissioned
like carnival cruise liner and have the Olympic game,
the enhanced games on that international waters.
What would be the funnest game to watch
at the enhanced Olympics?
And remember Olympic sports.
Yeah, okay.
Cause like obviously football is the coolest.
That's the coolest sport overall.
That's the coolest, well, baseball's, yeah, football is the coolest. That's the coolest sport overall. That's the coolest, well baseball's, yeah,
football's the coolest.
I feel like you would see someone get dusted
into a fine mist.
That's what I'm saying, yeah.
I feel like, I feel like even me now,
this current size that I am,
could probably tackle somebody so hard
that they snap in half.
But if I was geared up, Andrew's gone,
decimated, fine white powder that I'm feeding
to a Hollywood exec to make Gremlins five.
Yeah, make Gremlins five.
I would get like Thanos snapped.
That's what it would look like.
Just turn into the ether.
Okay, I'm gonna list Olympic sports.
Okay.
And we can, we'll just, yeah.
We'll see what they're.
Gymnastics.
Meh.
Swimming.
Meh.
Golf.
Oh, fuck yeah.
I wanna see the ball explode.
Yeah.
The, I'm starting, I'm shooting here.
The whole Arizona.
Yeah.
Ice hockey.
Sure.
Yeah. Mostly for the fight. The fights. When the goons hockey. Sure. Yeah.
Mostly for the fight.
The fights.
When the goons go.
People would die.
Soccer, we are already watching that.
Basketball, nah.
I feel like basketball would be a lot of heart attacks.
Yeah.
The luge.
Wait, what's the luge?
It's the thing where they push
and they get in the ice
and they go like.
I think that would actually be a detriment.
You'd just be heavier.
Your thighs would be so big,
you couldn't get in the fucking thing.
Softball, absolutely.
Yep.
Water polo, why not?
Again, for the fights.
When the gooners come out.
So.
Weightlifting, of course.
Of course.
Yeah.
Fencing. Yeah, yes.
Yes, dude, I want to see somebody just fucking, like stab a guy.
Pierce through the armor.
Yeah, like a fucking cocktail umbrella through an olive.
Just like, ah!
It becomes so real because after one, it's over.
They're dead.
It's gone.
And they're so fast, probably.
Oh, yeah.
Okay, now we're getting,
boxing, again, I feel like that's kind of
already what we're watching.
Volleyball, yes.
Think about how high- I need to see-
I wanna know how high a human being can jump.
And how high they can smash a ball down.
Like, that ball goes through you like a cartoon,
leaving like a perfect hole in your midsection.
That is, you've tapped into something here
because I feel like, I imagine all of these sports
would look like they were anime.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Honestly, like I want half of these to turn into
like essentially Mortal Kombat fatalities.
Like I want to see most of these end in that result.
Okay, so-
I guess something important to remember is that murder
hasn't been legalized in our weird thing.
It's just, it's just that they can be geared up.
Yes, they can be absolutely juiced.
So-
You gotta be careful.
You gotta be careful,
cause if you tear a hole through somebody, that's a crime.
Yeah.
Gotta be cool.
You gotta be wiser. They don't have an through somebody, that's a crime. Yeah. Gotta be cool. Gotta be wiser.
They're gonna have an asterisk next to your record.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Holding a gold medal in your mug shot.
Golden cuffs.
Yeah.
Table tennis?
Absolutely. Yeah, Table tennis? Absolutely.
Yeah, same reason as volleyball, honestly.
Honestly, yeah.
Archery?
Eh.
Field hockey?
Eh.
Rowing?
Yes.
Yeah.
I want to see a bunch of oiled up dudes go against a Carnival
Cruise ship and see who's faster.
They're actually the ones powering the ship. I see a bunch of oiled up dudes go against like a carnival cruise ship and see who's faster.
They're actually the ones powering the ship.
It's just 25 roided up fucking...
Going for it.
And the next Olympic sport, shooting, which I feel like this is a natural precursor to the other.
Like, you do enough gear, yeah.
You're gonna have to have a geared up Olympic, in his Olympics police force to take him out.
Yeah, exactly.
Once they're all roided up, who's gonna stop him?
Exactly, yeah.
You?
The 50 meter dash to hide this dude's family from him.
Sailing?
What?
Yeah, yeah, because then it becomes like survivor.
How?
Because they're gonna kill each other.
Tennis?
Yeah.
You'd have to reinforce the racket.
Tennis for the same reason, table tennis.
Yeah.
For the same reason, volleyball.
For the same reason, volleyball.
Perfect.
Ski jumping?
I mean, what are we talking about?
Ski jumping?
Skateboarding? Okay, I actually do wanna see that. Yeah. I mean, what are we talking about? Ski jumping, skateboarding.
Okay, actually I do wanna say that.
Yeah.
Does being stronger mean you can ollie higher?
I don't think so.
I think you just snap boards and then you get real mad.
Yeah.
Does being strong make you a better skater?
Cause all the skaters I've ever seen are very small.
They're very slight.
Yeah, they look like Cody.
You don't wanna be,
you don't wanna be just absolutely jacked, I feel like.
No.
Judo?
Sure. Yep.
That's just like, gymkhana, that's just murder.
Yeah, it's just a kumite.
It's just a kumite.
Kumite.
Badminton?
No. No.
Yes!
Because it's even funnier. The thing is, is I don't know if you've played badminton? No. No. Yes! Because it's even funnier.
The thing is, is I don't know if you've played badminton.
You have to hit it so delicately.
The harder you hit it, the faster it goes.
I wanna see the strongest people possible just going,
ah!
And then it just going, ee!
It's awesome.
Cross- country skiing?
Nah.
Curling?
Across which country?
That's right, cross country skiing is not just a name now.
Now you have to ski across the country.
Our country?
Our country.
Tis of thee?
Sweet land.
Of liberty.
Yeah.
Yeah, no, I don't think cross-country
Unless you don't unless you do that dude it that way you have to ski across this entire this great state this great nation of ours
I think I have never heard of skeleton
What the fuck is that think that's having a skeleton?
Broke a bone
Okay, hold on a second.
Skeleton?
No.
Okay, a skeleton looks like the luge
only face forward and on a toboggan.
That looks- What the fuck?
Is it named after what you become?
Yeah, it's named after the only thing they can find.
Oh my God.
That's the most horrifying contraption I've ever seen.
Yeah, baseball, of course, no question.
Surfing, eh.
What was the second one?
Surfing.
Surfing?
Surfing.
I feel like, yeah, for the same reason as skateboarding.
Yeah, you're going to be so bad at it.
100% croquet.
Juiced croquet.
What's croquet?
It's the little rings on the ground,
and you have to knock the colored balls through the arches.
That's an Olympic sport?
That's what I was feeling.
Apparently, according to the internet it is.
Taekwondo, of course.
How did we get here?
I don't know.
Because I said that things should be roided up
like Hollywood detectives,
like Hollywood producers could be coked up
to make weirder movies.
How did we get there?
Cruising.
Cruising, we never leftising. We never left cruising.
We never left cruising.
How long have we been talking?
20 minutes.
About what?
Nothing.
Welcome to the Rooster Teeth podcast.
I'm your host Armando Torres.
Joining me as always is-
Andrew Rosas.
And- Me.
It's been a good day.
It's been, I mean, I guess. It's been, it's been fine. I've had a good day. It's been, I mean, I guess it's been, it's been fine.
I've had a great day.
Last, okay, for reference, this is being filmed.
The day after we did our live stream, our April 1st,
21st birthday.
Yeah.
So during that day I had about several jello shots okay several
jello shot one jello shot just came in a pint glass which makes it one drink
someone dumped eight jello shots.
You know those old jello molds that they used to make in the 50s where it's like big like that? Oh it's like a Bundt cake?
Yeah, I had a Bundt cake shot.
And it was mostly tequila.
Who made those?
Shelby.
Oh, there you go. They were good. They did the trick.
That was a fun was a fun live stream
You guys drank some disgusting shit. I threw up. I threw up for real for real
Yeah, you held bags of throw up near my head. There's a photo of it. Yeah
I told my partner that we posted pictures of that Rooster Teeth posted pictures of that and
My partner said I will no longer be checking your Instagram story in case you ever share it
What if I promise not to share it and they said I don't believe you would
You should just schedule it for some day in the future. Yeah, just to go out when they forget. Yeah. Yeah
Cuz love is a love is a battlefield.
Pat Benatar.
Pat Benatar.
Love is a battlefield.
It's all about getting victories.
And I'm gonna, I'm gonna show her my throat.
You showed us your tooth.
Oh!
I did show you the secret tooth.
Mondo has a secret tooth.
I have a hidden tooth.
Mondo has a secret tooth, guys.
And it's not where you think it'd be.
Where did we think it would be?
Probably in my mouth.
Isn't it in your mouth?
Nope.
Oh!
It's gross.
No, it's not gross.
You absorbed his twin in the womb.
That's what it feels like.
Yeah.
Cause I have, well, I have the 11 fingers.
And the multiple personality.
And the multiple personalities and the two teeth.
Anyway, Griff brought up a great point earlier today
that we ate so many jello shots that our poop was weird.
Wait, okay.
How did...
How immediately after these jello shots
did your poop get weird?
This morning.
Yeah.
For, I...
Was it more gelatinized or?
In my defense, can I tell you what I ate yesterday?
In your defense?
I'm going to allow it.
Jello shots and coffee.
That's it?
And then I had a handful of chips after.
Then when I got home, I ordered Mexican food and I couldn't eat it because my tummy was
hurting too much from all the sugar.
Mmm.
So.
Your Honor.
Can I ask the defendant to explain
how their poop was weird?
Uh, blue?
It was blue.
It was mostly blue.
I took a poop that looked like Stitch.
Do you think that's normal?
No.
That's, uh, vile.
Welcome to the Rooster Teeth podcast.
A poop that looked like Stitch.
Well, we got the episode title, that's for sure.
God damn it.
Fucking, not since Beats have I been more scared.
To eat. Yeah.
When you're like, when you like go to the bathroom
the next day after eating Beats, you're like, I'm dying.
Oh, right.
Right.
I've never had beets.
Really?
Was that like a turnip?
Kind of.
It's like a turnip.
Honestly.
The taste is whatever, but you will 100% think that you have blood in your shit.
Oh.
It turns your shit like crimson red.
You know how they say beet red?
Yeah.
Like that. What? But it's your poop.
That's upsetting.
Why would anyone eat that?
I don't know.
I don't know.
But it's all, I mean, I think they're delicious.
But it is always a, like, quite, no matter how many times I do it,
always quite alarming the next morning when it's like,
just wipe my, what the fu- oh my god.
I'm, oh right, all right, right.
Beats.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Blue, wait. I'm sorry, we, all right, all right. It beats. Yeah, yeah. Blue, wait.
I'm sorry, we gotta go back.
The yellow shots were blue.
I know that, but like, how can that move
through your system that quickly?
I didn't have anything in my system.
I didn't eat yesterday.
Sometimes I come to work and I'm like,
oh, I didn't have breakfast, I'll have to eat after work.
And then I'm at work till eight,
cause we streamed and then we had a happy hour
that ended up being like three and a half hours.
You bring up a very good point, which is,
this is my, I'm doing my Mondo impression.
You bring up something very interesting,
which is that I really feel like,
maybe not that long from now, 10 years, 15 years,
we're all gonna be part, we'll all get 15 cents
from the class action lawsuit for food coloring.
There's something about food coloring
that feels like we should not be eating this at all.
Like it feels very, very bad.
It doesn't get broken down and processed enough
in the body. Correct.
The fact that it can go through and stain your shit blue
is not great.
The, yeah.
The other day we filmed a It's a Choice episode,
a, what's the holiday?
I keep wanting to say Ireland Day, St. Patrick's Day.
Go Pats.
When we did the St. Patrick's Day episode,
we had to drink green beer, but the way that they colored it was they thought,
okay, beer yellow, add blue, make beer green.
So they added blue and it just made the beer blue.
Yeah, and every single site that I looked up the information
said to just add blue dye.
Well, it didn't work.
And so then they added green dye,
which enough of it to make it green,
but it came out looking like a Baja blast.
And I decided it would be such a fun idea to just chug it.
And my mouth didn't get green, but let me tell you, partner,
when I went to take a pee later,
I thought I was turning into the Grinch.
It was awful.
I think I used too much. You did. into the Grinch. It was awful.
Oh. I think I used too much.
You did.
Funny enough, Shoby helped me make that too.
What?
What?
You think he cries it out?
You said you peed the Grinch,
then I went, oh man, I peed Mike.
I think my brain went, oh man, I peed out Mike Wazowski.
And then I went, how does Mike Wazowski pee?
He's just a ball.
He's just an eyeball.
He's just a damn eyeball.
Do you think it's trapped inside?
I think he cries it out.
That's what I said!
Do you think he cries it out?
I think so, yeah.
Or he has like a cloaca,
an unseen cloaca, that he opens like a trap door.
I think it's his mouth.
Or it's like an owl. He vomits it out.
Like an ellet. Yeah.
Oh. Oh I saw an owl.
I was on a bike ride the other night.
There was an owl on the fucking telephone wire.
It was beautiful. Beautiful creature.
See when I go on bike rides I only ever see
vultures on the telephone wires.
Oh good. Oh good. Whenever I would go on bike rides, I only ever see vultures on the telephone lights. Oh good. Yeah.
Oh good.
Whenever I would go on a bike ride, I see birds, but they're going,
ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo
ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo
ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo ooo How? What do you mean how? What? I think I got one, but I don't know for sure because we didn't go to the doctor after a particular bad hit in a football game.
CTE.
I was gonna say, if you've been up in that...
I feel angry at you guys right now.
Why?
Violent anger.
Oh no!
The green bag in his brain.
Oh no.
Studying me. Anyway, no. Studying me.
Anyway, I, uh.
Harry Potter's.
Yeah, I got hit in the head a couple of times.
What about you?
Have you?
I don't think so.
I don't think I've gotten bashed hard enough.
I've taken some spills, but I don't think I've gotten, uh.
You've never been in the dome.
I've gotten beaned hard enough, I think, to issue one, but...
Somebody get me a moon ball?
Pfft.
Somebody get me a hermetically sealed surgical medical bat
that I can bash Andrew over the head with.
No, yeah, I don't think I've taken...
Oh, there we go. A ducky!
Mondo, you know what?
I didn't think you were right, but I think you're right.
This is gonna be the most unintelligible episode of this show. Wanna try it again? Mondo, you know what? I didn't think you were right, but I think you're right.
This is gonna be the most unintelligible episode
of this show.
This one's a weird one.
No.
This episode of the Rooster Teeth podcast
is sponsored by Tyco.
All right, picture this situation.
You just got home from work after a long day of work
and you've exhausted all of your creativity.
One more time.
This episode of the Rooster Teeth podcast is sponsored by Tyco.
All right. Picture the situation.
You just got home after a long day of work.
You've exhausted all of your creativity and you want nothing more than to just relax on the couch,
maybe pop a brewski, however you get a message from work
and they need your input on an important project
that you thought was already done with.
Well, have no fear because with Tyco,
you can shrug those responsibilities off
and onto your definitely better coworkers, Tyler and Kofi.
That's right, the best budget tracking, resource gathering,
ad writing, naysaying, cast sourcing, calendar making,
note taking producers that you ever did see.
Hey, you, watching this ad,
are you looking to hire a couple of dog producers?
Let me hit you up about my man, Tyler.
Personal experience.
Personal experience about Tyler.
Yeah. Give a personal experience about Tyler. Yeah.
Give a personal experience about Tyler.
All right.
He 3D printed the very real guns they're using, right?
Keep looking at the prompter.
I'm going.
I'm going.
I'm going.
Working with Tyler has been a dream come true,
because he is professional and a pleasure to be around. I love him and of
course we can't forget about Cody. No?
Shut the fuck up camera.
Cody Hawkins, his real name, is the most hireable and experienced member of this team.
Please give him a job.
Please. Thank you.
I guarantee that if you work with Tyco, you will have a smooth production experience.
These are professionals of the highest regard
and will lift your project to the next level.
There is nothing disparaging I can say about Tyler and Cody.
They are the best.
I love them and I wish Cody would play
Overwatch with me more regularly.
I will dude, of course I will.
He's very good at it.
Like have you seen his Reinhardt play?
He got my back both at work and
All him 20 bucks from poker night, oh and should pay him right now I owe you $10
20 bucks
Andrew Andrew. All right, let's take him to the top.
Welcome to the Rooster Teeth podcast.
I'm your host, Armando Torres, joining me as
always is. Andrew Rosas for one more ride. I've never seen Groundhog Day. What? I saw
The Matrix for the first time this week. What is that? What is, how do you, what do
you, what, hold on, are they, were those the top of your like have to watch list?
No. I haven't, well obviously not.
I still haven't seen Groundhog Day.
Yeah, but you just watched The Matrix.
Why did you watch The Matrix?
Because I never saw it.
But why now?
That's a very good question.
I mean, I kind of get Groundhog Day
because it came out of like, I don't know,
just judging by like when you grew up and your age,
The Matrix should have been inescapable.
Like it should have been so hard not to watch the Matrix.
Like McDonald's Happy Meals had Matrix toys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like I brought a Happy Meal and they were just,
inside was a loaded gun.
Yeah.
And there was that tie in with McDonald's
with Groundhog Day 2, they give you an alarm clock
that plays Sonny and Cher that you can smash every morning and then put back together.
That was the toy.
That's really cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And every time you went through the drive-through, there would just be another end of the drive-through.
It would trap you inside and you would perpetually go through the drive-through.
Some people still there.
Yeah, but they will charge you every time.
Many such cases.
Yeah, I don't know.
I just, well, it was a, okay.
Sorry. Yeah, I don't know. I just want I won't it was okay
It's not have a Mexican dude many such cases
Any such cases
Yeah And you were explaining the hanky coat thing.
All of this picturing was just like a gay clown
who just kept pulling out.
A long thing of handkerchiefs.
Man, this guy does everything.
Sorry, sorry.
But if you want to see what I'll do you got to pull them out of there
Essentially a human flaw
Gross
Oh, gross. Oh, folks, is this good?
I don't know.
I don't know what this is.
It's the second to last episode, but it's really silly.
What's going on?
We're getting thumbs up.
We gotta be getting thumbs up.
That's good.
How long have we been recording for?
Are you serious?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you serious?
We're getting, no, no, no no guys, focus up, focus up.
Focus up, focus up.
Because I felt, I guess so.
All right.
I thought we were done.
Huh.
Wait, no, how long have we been recording?
Like 30 minutes.
I feel like we've been doing this for-
It's 312, we got here at like two hours.
Oh no.
It doesn't help our mono-viewers
to be starting the show.
All right, ready?
Maybe that's it, okay.
Mm-mm.
Welcome to the only podcast
that just discovered Delta 8.
It's the Rooster Teeth podcast.
Yeah!
Woo!
I am your host, Armando Torres,
and with me as always is.
Is, Ned Ryerson Ryerson now Andrew Rosas
It's a Groundhog Day reference, which is interesting because we are doing this episode in a loop again and again again and again
And again, we've restarted nine times. Yeah, and
Yeah, and trying desperately to cling to the earth it is griff-melted
Yeah, how you guys doing? to cling to the earth. It is griff-melted. It's me.
Yeah.
How you guys doing?
I'm doing all right, you know?
All things considered, this company is shutting down.
Cody is about to have a conniption.
No, I'm doing OK.
You know, all things considered, like I said,
this company is coming to an end.
We've got one more episode of this show. And thankfully, it's not this one. And thank one more episode of this show. Thankfully, it's not this one.
And thank God it's not this one.
I'm super glad it's not this one.
You know what?
So full disclosure, we're taping this
after we taped the final episode.
We filmed these out of order.
And so you'll see the last episode, which we taped
earlier today, which is very sweet and heartfelt.
And we have strong opinions and strong emotions, and it's very sweet and heartfelt. And we have like strong opinions and like, you know,
strong emotions and it's very, very touching.
I went on a couple of high rants apparently,
allegedly in Minecraft.
And it was a lot of fun.
And then this one, which we're filming afterwards,
is completely off the rails and so silly.
And we were worried that we shouldn't have recorded them
in this order. And I'm't have recorded them in that disorder and I'm glad
We recorded them in this order now in hindsight. I'm super glad
Welcome to the only show that just discovered Delta 9 it's the roosteroster Teeth podcast. And I'm your host, Armando Torres,
joining me as always is...
Here again, Andrew Rosas.
And Gus.
And Gus.
And Gus.
Oh, man.
God.
I wish he was still with us.
Yeah.
So how you guys doing?
I mean, all things considered, I'm doing pretty okay.
This company's coming to an end.
And yeah, and actually, like, I don't know if you know this,
but we taped the actual last episode yesterday.
And I forget.
Welcome.
Welcome to the only show that just discovered
what Delta Nine is.
It's the RT podcast.
I'm your host Armando Torres.
And with me as always is.
Is the legally indemnified Andrew Rosas.
And?
I found the Cody.
Oh! Hey!
What the fuck?
He just materialized here.
Were you here last time?
No. Something happened. They've changed something. Were you here last time? No.
Something happened. They've changed something.
That's a reference from The Matrix. I just saw it for the first time.
Oh!
He's a glitch.
That's probably fine, right?
Yeah.
He's a part of this now?
Yeah, but I'm pretty good all things considered.
Like, you know, the come to an end and, you know, we filmed, we actually, you might not know this, but we filmed,
this episode's kind of out of order, the last episode that we're doing we filmed this morning.
And so we filmed them out of order and we were worried that filming them out of order would be weird.
But it was actually...
It's for the best.
Yeah, and I'm glad, I'm glad we didn't film them in that order
You guys seen cruising? Mm-hmm
That's right hanky code. Yeah
No, no, no, no, no, no we know
It was a funny joke of all time and it is unrepeatable. That's my favorite thing about it.
Can I raise a-
Just for me.
Can I raise a grievance with you guys that's an actual complaint that I have that I want to answer on?
How come every god damn day that I work here
somebody loads up the entire
break room fridge with an entire layer of
entire break room fridge with an entire layer of Dr. Pepper.
And by the end of the day, every single day, it is gone.
They put out like 40 Dr. Peppers, which I'm led to believe is like over 90 flavors, right?
And they're just fucking gone by the end of the day.
How many people drink Dr. Pepper
and how many Dr. Peppers are you people drinking?
Well, the average-
This is one, that's two.
I have maximum, I will have two Dr. Peppers a week.
There's one day I'll come in
and I'll have like two Dr. Peppers.
You gotta remember that it is the tastiest soda
in the fridge.
That is true.
And also...
Is that or Coke Zero?
New Coke Zero, which tastes like shit.
Something else good in there.
Canada Dry.
Orange juice.
That dirt tea that people like for some reason that tastes like a fistful of the earth.
I do like the dirt tea.
Oh, the Steve's?
No, I like the...
All of the tea.
Oh, every tea.
Why do you have shit green tea?
What happened to the good green tea? You mean the all of the tea on every
You mean the one in the green bottle
Why is he up there now?
He wasn't up there last time
He's uh, he's our elf on the shelf
Yeah Get ready for Cody on the load II. I was gonna say Cody on the load the bearing beam. That's pretty good
load II the bearing beam. That's pretty good loady
parentheses bearing beam
Yeah, I'm pretty doing pretty well things considered
It's companies coming to an end. I was I was trying to take this pillow to hit you with and it's sewn to the fucking
It's so good the couch. It's not
You just have no arm strength right now.
You're off that.
You're off that weak path.
You're off that.
You think that's a couch you're sitting on?
Oh no.
Wouldn't it be crazy if-
We didn't make it back from Quantus Tacos.
We're sitting there on a park bench right now.
Wouldn't it be crazy if I called the cops right now?
What'd you do?
Just not everyone in general.
All right, seriously though.
We gotta get it together.
Let's get it together.
Uh.
Welcome to your favorite show.
It's the RT podcast.
I am your host, Armando Torres, and joining me as always is the very much here
Andrew Rosas and I'm Bernie Burns and I have some grievances about the post
office mmm that's right folks RT's going postal and this episode is very good. Oh man.
I can't wait until it's the time of year
where it's acceptable to mostly just be in water. Ooh.
So you mean like April through December in Texas?
Yeah. May 11th.
Yeah. Yeah.
May 11th. May 11th onward.
Ooh boy, howdy.
The moment this place shuts down
and I'm just like that brief period where I just get to be
Fun employed free free free bird. Oh
My god continue
Sorry
No continue no no no no, please please go free as a bird no, no, no. Please. Please go ahead. You freeze a bird. No, no, no, go ahead.
Sorry, I just had a powerful thought, a powerful realization that I hadn't realized.
That this place will no longer be- okay, I'm gonna- here, full disclosure.
This place, this office and this bathroom has come in so clutch when headed home from the east side.
And I don't think I'm gonna make it. and this bathroom has come in so clutch when headed home from the East side.
I don't think I'm gonna make it.
And I've had to whip into this studio
and use the bathroom.
Cause I'm not gonna-
Shane's giving a thumbs up from the back.
My bathroom away from home.
This was it.
If I was like, I'm, oh, this is gonna be a fuck.
If I get home, it's gonna be a photo finish, but I can leisurely
Sling the whip into this parking lot beep beep get into the door and use the bathroom here that is going away
That's what I'm most sad about
I'm not gonna miss any of you freaks. It's the bathroom. I'm gonna
It's the bathroom I'm gonna admit. It's the bathroom, the room.
It already is like that.
We can't come in on the weekends,
and we can't come in past five.
They can.
They can.
No, they're closing off our cards.
No.
Oh, you mean now?
Yeah, now.
Because we don't want the stealing.
Well, right, but like, we already have limited access.
So it's gonna get worse.
Well, I stick a rock in the door every day,
so that that way it can't close. Yeah, I taped I taped I taped a lock in. Yeah. Yeah, so that that way
Signed with a tape it's airtight
Yeah, I'm gonna miss this place as a emergency bathroom. Yeah, Texas doesn't really have a lot of emergency bathrooms
I was just telling somebody about this about how in
California anytime I'm on the road and I need to and I need
to poop now, just look up the nearest Denny's.
I think you guys have two Denny's.
Yeah.
And they're...
Yeah, and they feel like bathrooms, the whole thing.
Yeah.
It's rough.
No, that, god damn,
cause like, everyone knows this feeling.
I don't know, maybe your bodies do this too.
I, my body, maybe not my mind,
but on some conscious level,
my body knows when I'm near a clean accessible bathroom
and will just start the process of needing to go.
Do you not remember the, okay.
What?
What's wrong?
I'm laughing at your concept.
Your concept is very funny.
I think it might've been a test episode of the RT podcast.
I talked about how sometimes when I need to poop
and I get close to a toilet,
a countdown clock, yeah, it's just the idea
that the countdown clock begins and my body gets
dangerously close to just melting down, like Chernobyl.
Oh, yes, yeah, okay, okay, you're right,
that might have been from our test episode of the show.
It turns every single time I have to get to the bathroom
into a dangerous situation where America
almost declares war on Russia.
It's DEFCON 1 situation.
And Russia is the shit inside of my body
and America is my pants.
They are dangerously close to invading at any time.
Yeah, it's a real bay of pigs down there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, well, you know, RIP this bath- RIP using this bathroom on the way home from kind of tropical,
which has happened a few- yeah.
Never forget. This place is going to- oh, gosh.
Cody, how often do you poop here?
Well, not right now. So, I don't know. That's right, he's not mic'd. Yeah. Shut up. I'm gonna get you.
You packed me one of those pills.
Stab, stab, I'm gonna get you.
I'm gonna fix you.
I'm gonna fix you good.
Are they all?
Are they all fixed?
Is this like dorm furniture?
No, they're not sewn on.
You guys are just weeds.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd.
I'm not mic'd. I'm not mic'd. I'm not mic'd. I'm not mic'd. I'm gonna fix you. I'm gonna fix you good. Are they all?
Are they all fixed? Is this like dorm furniture?
No, they're not sewn on. You guys are just weak.
See, watch.
Oh.
Oh.
So you're gonna rip the couch apart.
Would you consider yourself gullible?
Are you a gullible person? I'm very trusting.
Are you very trusting? Yeah.
Would you consider yourself gullible person? I'm very trusting. Are you very trusting? Yeah. Would you consider yourself gullible?
Probably.
I have to believe the best in people.
I mean, we got fucking owned by that Tycho shit.
We have no room to talk.
That's it, yeah.
Yeah, that was 10 minutes ago, by the way.
How long have we been recording?
OK, cool.
Sick.
Now, would you consider yourself a gullible person? He's thinking about doing it. He's thinking about doing it. He's trying to see if it's still funny.
He's trying to see if it's gonna be funny one more time.
I'm picking up some gears grinding on the mic that is the ones inside Mondo's head.
Testing the boundaries.
Welcome to... no.
I mean, I'm doing okay all things considered, you know. I mean, we've, the company's come to an end.
And, yeah.
Yeah, I don't know, I like to think, what's so funny is like, I like to think,
I had this conversation really soon, I like to think that I,
I mean, I've worked in comedy for 15 years and so like I make jokes all the time.
But then if somebody tells me something that is like,
if somebody tells me something like.
And they posit it as being real and serious and like, okay.
Exactly, and they posit it as being like serious
or don't say it in a joking way.
I'm just like, okay.
And they're like, dude, I was joking.
I was like, oh, sorry.
I just take everybody at face value,
even though I'm just surrounded by fucking jokers.
I'm just surrounded by clowns.
But when it comes to personal relationships,
I'm just very trusting, so I don't know.
Mondo, are you okay?
Yeah, Mondo's like, looks like he's about
to have a conniption fit.
I'm fine.
Has he had the megaphone the whole time?
No, he has not.
I watched them come out, bring out the megaphone
and hand it to him.
He had a megaphone last time.
No, he did not.
This is a new iteration.
Oh, now he's miked up.
It doesn't work.
Oh, there we go.
Hey.
Now I'm miked.
There you go. Hey. Now I'm mic'd. There you go.
Sick.
Do you guys think you're gullible people?
Remember when you said you were gonna call the police
in the second cycle?
That was, it's happened now.
It's happened.
Wow.
The prophecy.
This come true.
So what's your guys totem down here on the fourth level? Empty can a dr. Pepper an empty can of dog. Oh, no, where's mine?
Just not real your totem. Is it your orange coffee? Is your orange coffee? Oh, there it is
It's my totem
It's in my pocket oh, it's my sunglasses here we go
Shady rays.
I forgot this entire time that you've been wearing another person's prescription glasses.
Yeah, these are, these are, these are griff, you can barely say I'm wearing them, but I, you know what, I'm gonna get a pair of these.
I think I like these.
Aldi, I buy direct.
I like these, I like this look.
You shouldn't.
You were absolutely right, should have gone with the round frames for my face.
Yeah, it's a good look.
You look like a...
I love it.
It looks so good.
Thank you, Cody.
Doesn't he look like the son of one of the Beatles?
Which one?
A Lennon?
Like all of them.
All of them.
Yeah, they all kind of look the same.
I look like the son of all of the Beatles put together.
We took all of their DNA, mixed it together.
It basically only got consumed by George and John.
And then it made this.
I mean, yeah, right here.
Doon, doon, doon, doon, doon.
Oh, wait, we can't, I'm not gonna get it.
I don't play music, no, no, no, no.
You're a DJ.
Oh, can you imagine the level of disappointment?
See?
Can you imagine? Okay, okay. Can you imagine a level of disappointment? See? Can you imagine?
Can you imagine?
Okay, okay.
Can you imagine?
I didn't even, oh!
I didn't even!
Oh, the DJs!
Oh, I didn't even mean to do it.
Let's wrap it up.
Well, we've only been recording for like 30 minutes.
30 minutes.
Yeah, but this is kind of slow.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm gonna try one more time.
Okay.
Hold on.
And action.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
I'm going to try one more time.
Okay.
Hold on.
And action.
Welcome to the only podcast that gets it right in one take.
It's the RT Podcast.
I am your host Armando Torres joining me as always is...
Pretty good all things considered.
And...
I don't know anymore.
You completely catatonic, disassociating.
I don't know who I am anymore.
Down a K-hole.
You know at the beginning of the game, Superhot?
Yeah.
Or if you want, how you have to like,
you want to start the game for real?
Wait, what?
Have you never played Superhot?
No, what the hell is that?
Oh, it's like this, it's this game,
but they made a VR version where it's like,
they call it the John Wick simulator.
So it's like a shooting game.
And anytime you move, the enemy moves.
But if you're standing still, stands still yeah it's like you can dodge
bullets and throw stuff in front of bullets and that's what it sounds like
that's what you play through a tutorial at the beginning if you want to play the
full game the the last of this tutorial is just you in an empty white abyss and there's a gun in front of you
And you have to shoot yourself in the head to start the game
Jesus Christ and we're asking if you think that's how our world works
That's how I think our world works to get here to do this. Yeah, or
to get out I
Watched the matrix for the first time this weekend.
Clearly you did.
Clearly you did.
Having a like, lowercase existential, lowercase e-existential crisis.
The movies, uh, it holds up.
How would you know if it holds up?
You didn't see it back then!
How would you know if it holds up? You didn't see it back then.
Can I tell you that for my other show, Colt Podcasts,
we did an April Fool's Day episode.
Every year we do an April Fool's Day episode
where we cover a fake colt and pretend like it's a real colt.
And in the past, we used to just trick our audience.
And then we started getting people like Blaine on
because Blaine during the pandemic binged the show
and was like, every time I got to an April Fool's Day
episode, I forgot that you did those
and I fucking hated it every single time.
So of course we invited him on the show to trick him.
Most recently, we just tricked Griff.
We had Griff on the show and we did,
we had first considered having Andrew on,
but then realized Andrew might know too much about movies.
He knows every movie.
So then we got Griff on and did the cult
from the second Indiana Jones movie.
The like,
Oh, the Pali Ma cult?
Oh, the Kali Ma cult? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And totally fooled her.
I didn't understand what was happening until Paige was like,
and that's just the cult from Indiana Jones,
and I was like, what do you mean?
Like, they were, oh, they were in the movie?
Like, they based the cult in there?
And I had no idea. It was, I got got almost as hard as we got got earlier.
By Tycho.
By Tycho.
Yeah, fuck.
Say hello to Kali in hell.
Like weird.
Is that in the movie?
It is.
Okay.
Harrison Ford makes a very weird like face
when he goes in hell.
Like he's like over enunciates in hell.
Show the clip.
Can we pull that clip real quick? Pull that clip. He over enunciates in hell. Show the clip. Can we pull that clip real quick?
Pull that clip.
He over enunciates in hell.
And it's like one of those images that from,
it's one of those images that like sticks with me for,
well stick with me for a while.
I think we need to give movie makers more cocaine
so they can make movies like that again.
That's really good.
That is a great idea.
That's actually like this other thought I had
about bringing Barry Bonds back.
Rest in peace.
Is he dead?
Yep.
Guys.
Folks.
Chums.
Buddy.
Friends.
Pals.
My guy.
My guy, my dudes.
Homies.
There's one I can say.
Dogs.
Which one can you say?
Ha, ha, ha.
Which one can she say? Yeah.
Bros.
Nice. Yeah, that's it.
Alright. Alright my wetbacks.
Let's get the hell out of here.
And cut.
Welcome to the only show that could say that.
I'm Armando Torres.
I'm Andrew Rosas. And I've only show that could say that. I'm Armando Torres.
I'm Andrew Rosas.
And I've had a great time doing this.
And we'll see you next week.
Now let's do the real one.
Yeah.
Let's do the real one, yeah.
Was that anything?