Rooster Teeth Podcast - The Rooster Teeth Podcast Live

Episode Date: March 18, 2024

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Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello everybody and welcome to the only podcast identified as an unneeded line item, it's the RG Podcast. I am your host, Armando Torres, and joining me as always is the very proficient in Word and Office Suite. That's right, baby, Andrew Rosas, available for hire. And featuring six years of industry experience. I'm considering saying my name. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:00:51 You might hear it on this very podcast. And. And I'm Gus. Yay! Hashtag open to work. I was walking by the hall, and I walked in here because I'm looking for something and Cody's like, we're about to go live. Yeah, I can't find that.
Starting point is 00:01:11 And I was like, oh, it's like a magnet pulling me in. I can't stay away. You can't escape it. I'm not staying though. I am escaping. We tricked you into being live on a Monday yet again. Yet again. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:22 I just can't get away. At least it's not 5 p.m. Yeah, that's true. It's five o'clock somewhere. Not here though. No, but it's 5 o'clock in like super Eastern time or something. Like England or something, right? Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Mondo heard 5 o'clock somewhere, crack to Coke Zero instinctually next to a bottle of Jack Daniel's. How you doing? Good. Is you got, I've got, you've got almost like a, uh, an Andre, the giant scenario going on here where I thought that was a hundred calorie, like kind of regular code, because it looks so small in your hand.
Starting point is 00:01:56 Here, let me, uh, Griff, can you hold this for me? That looks normal. Oh man. looks normal oh man what an incredible skill that has absolutely no bearing on my life no it is I pitched you I pitched your big hands for something one time what we okay was her name we were we were talking with like a glass manufacturer and they have a Did they not? Why in quotes? They make glass products for doing things with For tobacco use only Water pipes for tobacco use only
Starting point is 00:02:35 And they have a series where it's like their normal stuff but really small And I was like guys I have a great bit for social to pitch you Well, holy shit, I can't great bit for social to pitch you. Well, holy shit, I can't believe I'm going to tell this story on the podcast. Really leaning into the, you know, two months left, baby. Two months is well, that's very generous. I told you. Speaking of very generous, I used to think that I had a below average size penis for a really long time. I thought that I had a below average size penis. For a really long time I thought that I had a below average size penis.
Starting point is 00:03:07 But change. And well the other day I measured my hands and realized that this fucking nine inch hand not that bad in comparison. Yeah. Yeah I mean mid-palm right? Yeah. It was his lifeline. It was just a riding ride.
Starting point is 00:03:24 Oh look here's all I'm saying. Look how fucking, right? Yeah. Yeah. It was his lifeline. It was just a ride across. Oh, look. Here's all I'm saying. Look how fucking small I make this Coke can look. I'm just saying do the math. If I'm gripping this and it looks this small, just do the math. Yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, man, this puts this in such sharp contrast.
Starting point is 00:03:41 Yeah. It's a very stark relief. God damn. Ah! All right. So guys, how big your bit? How big your big? I'm all right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:50 Yeah, it's all right. Can I see your hand? My hand's real sweaty. It's okay, my hand's covered in coke. See, we're, we got a similar problem going on. Yeah. All right, I'm looking for stuff. Sure, do you wanna say a goodbye?
Starting point is 00:04:01 Just to swipe for my personal drive still. Anything? Yeah. Plug anything you're working on? It's been a good 21 years. I was happy to get my Mondays back last year And then you guys fucking ran it into the ground while It only took you like nine months, so good job. Yes, our tenure really has been a cinderblock on the gas pedal Pointing the car of R TP at a rock quarry Thanks guys, thank you so much guys, I guess I guess I could leave the normal way huh yeah, yeah fine
Starting point is 00:04:35 Drop that wherever it's not it's not our property you can break it and you never know who's gonna show up That's the beauty of doing this live which we are are. Thank you, everyone, for tuning in. All eight of you, thank you. It means so much. 2.3K? Why? Why? Why?
Starting point is 00:04:55 Well, thanks for joining us. And that's it. You never know who's going to stop by. We just got Gus. We have some other guests that might stop by. In fact, folks, make it loud for Bernie Burns. Yay! Yay!
Starting point is 00:05:07 Yeah, that's about right. Yep. Yep. Ah, they, what are they gonna do? Fire us tour. Yeah. Hey. Continues unabated.
Starting point is 00:05:18 That's the name of the episode. They're gonna get mad at me for drinking? Hey, it's morning somewhere. Yeah. It's my alcoholism somewhere. Oh my God. Oh man. Yes, thank you all. I'm so glad we didn't put out last week's episode.
Starting point is 00:05:32 We did not. Where we were happy. Okay, so here's a little peek behind the curtain. We record our episodes every day, normally on Tuesday. This past Tuesday, we recorded an episode, very fun episode. It was a good one. It was a good one. Another daddy episode.
Starting point is 00:05:49 It taught, yeah, we, I don't know that we've ever said this on the show, but we have episodes that we call Just For Daddy, which are episodes where we have gone, hey, we don't need to make those stinking ad bucks this week, and so we just have fun with it. Yeah. So we did one of those,
Starting point is 00:06:08 it was a truly off the rails episode, it was very fun and then not 12 hours later. Yeah, it was truly, it was, no, it was exactly 20 hours later. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Yeah, it was exactly 20 hours later. Yeah, wow. Yeah. Yeah. It was exactly 20 hours later. Exactly 20 hours later, we were all asked
Starting point is 00:06:31 to enter into an all hands meeting, at which point we were laid off. Yeah. We all got laid off. En masse. So my experience with this was a little bit different, because I had requested time off Oh, I was not all the at the all hands what I did was wake up leisurely on a Wednesday morning to an all caps
Starting point is 00:06:52 Text from you. Holy shit. Are you watching? I am NOT my man Guess what I sent him a message that just said you're getting promoted They said that you look enough like them, you can have the company. Yeah. Dude, it was the most like, because I feel like every time we have one of the all hands, we're all like, well,
Starting point is 00:07:21 this is going to be the one they tell us, but this is the one that we thought it wouldn't be the one they would tell us. No, it was just a Wednesday like any other. It was just a Wednesday like any other. And then, yeah. A second brother has hit the rooster teeth. Oh, brother.
Starting point is 00:07:37 Oh man, my favorite thing about it is people who don't work here, when I tell them about it, and they're like, oh man, that sucks, I'm like, yeah, what really sucks is like, we cost like one pilot. Yeah. So like, what pilot do you think is gonna replace our entire company? Yeah, they are.
Starting point is 00:07:57 And will it make it to air? The cost of running Rooster Teeth is about the price of like, what is it, like one pilot for HBO? Sure, yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, we're like, honestly, we're like 20 minutes of Batgirl. So like, we're basically like, I guess whenever, maybe they dropped us to make that
Starting point is 00:08:14 new Harry Potter show pilot. Ooh. Without question. We, actually we're probably, we're probably going to be like, whatever like, wand store comedy spin- is going to come out of that franchise. We're his Ollivanders the early years. Yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 00:08:32 Listen, the only thing I would be happy about us getting canceled for is a while back when we first got absorbed into the conglomerate, They did have sales pitching like to HBO and TPG pitched this like dark gritty noir of Fucking Kingsley Shacklebolt back in his horror days, and I actually would I would love to see it I don't know any of the words you guys Yeah, so where Sarah Weems is going oh that sounds good. That sounded like a sleeper agent activation phrase that you just say. Yeah. That's sad. Every white ex-girlfriend I've ever had is going, ah!
Starting point is 00:09:11 That sounds so good. It's set in 1920s Harlem. For the record, that does sound really lit. But also, we should just make the Marauders, like I want to see what's going on with James Potter and Lupin. No, it's too gay. No, I know it is too gay. That's why I want it.
Starting point is 00:09:30 It's way too gay. Make it gay. Make it gay. Sarah, you're a fan. Are you in the group of people who found that indie music band and wants them to be more? No? I am aware of them.
Starting point is 00:09:44 You're aware of them? So fun fact. Okay. There is a, Kayla, you've probably heard this from me before. Sorry, Griff, you've heard this from me before. What the fuck is this? This is the show now.
Starting point is 00:09:53 There's a Harry Potter fan fiction called All the Young Dudes, which is like one of the top fan fictions of all time. And it's a retelling of the Harry Potter story from like Remus Lupin as a like first year all the way until he dies and it is so fucking good, and it's completely canonical, and it's great and Everybody ships it
Starting point is 00:10:21 Also fuck JK Rowling I just need to be clear I love all the young dudes So much so that we said it That's how much we said it That's how much we said it TPG is Tim Gessling by the way People were asking who TPG is He's still on the show before Friend of, enemy of the show
Starting point is 00:10:39 Enemy of the show, Thomas Paul Gessling Don't give his full government I don't know his name Oh. Don't give his full government. I don't know his name. Oh, okay. Then do give his full government. Yeah, it was a pretty crazy all hands to be in. My favorite part of it was midway through I started getting text messages from other people. If he sent me a message during the middle of the all hands. One word, all caps, just the N word. That was it. Which one? Which one?
Starting point is 00:11:10 Which what? Which N word? Oh, Ify Wadaway. He just said Wadaway. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like a Pokemon? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. It's a different, uh.
Starting point is 00:11:21 It's a different one. It's a different one. Which we can now say on this podcast. Hey, get Sarah back out here. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:29 I don't think you want what we want. No, tell it to me. We have a script for you. No. Yeah. Oh. Oh my god. Producer Cody going absolutely nutso on the side here.
Starting point is 00:11:48 2.3. My favorite was, I got a message from Fiona that was just like, again, all caps, you need to start streaming now. And it was like, I don't think the landscape is as good as you think. Which one? OnlyFans. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like- is a good opportunity to point our OnlyFans that we're starting for all three of us. Oh yeah. What did we call it again? RTP, but it stands for different things.
Starting point is 00:12:14 Yeah. Obscene, unrepeatable things. Really tight penis. Really tight. T-I-T, really tight penis. Really fucking tight penis, dude. Ahhhhh! Don't lay it off.
Starting point is 00:12:32 Oh man. Oh my god. I don't know why that reminded me. Gosh, do you know Martin Urbano? No. He's a stand-up comedian. No. He has this joke I think about probably every day, which is like, I can't believe my girlfriend broke up with me just because I finger her like this. Shout out Martin Obata. Doing air quotes.
Starting point is 00:12:48 Yeah exactly yeah. Incredible. Oh my god. Geez Louise. Yeah so we had the only, I almost called it the only fans. We had the only fans last Wednesday. We had the all fans on Wednesday where we got laid off and then midway through it I started getting text messages from my friends
Starting point is 00:13:10 as people you know that's crazy go fuck yourself I told them I wouldn't be addressing the chat very much we just got a message removed from roosterteeth is dead because of you actually is dead because of you if you fucking tuned in yeah you stupid piece of fucking shit. Dog shit. Having six people talking at once is really high quality. It's three, I just weigh enough to equal six, you fucking piece of shit. Here's my favorite part of this, is that somebody had to make a fucking account.
Starting point is 00:13:37 Could you imagine putting in your email to be a fucking dork? Oh no, I gotta log into Gmail. He doesn't have a last pass, he knows the same fucking password he's had since he was six. Oh my god. Go broke. Gmail he doesn't have a last pass you know it's the same fucking password he's had since he was six Dog pissing dog shit man guys. I can't believe somebody made me black for diversity. How dare I be born this way Go woke go broke what a fucking gay guy I know that guy probably loves that guy's
Starting point is 00:14:07 probably like super Mexican oh my god that's one of my favorite things that Tiny penis also. Yeah. OK, then I have three complaints about my life. Uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Oh, my god. All right, so I have two complaints that I've ever had whenever we've gotten, like, what do
Starting point is 00:14:38 you call it, like, people complaining about the content that we make. Because one of the things that I've heard a lot is that it seems like we're all being Paid to like hang out with each other that we're not actually like friends that like That pisses me off. That's been pissing me off since like the STF days. Yeah Yeah, there's never like any of it I know that we just made a joke about it
Starting point is 00:14:58 But like any of the things where it's like go we'll go broke like fucking fuck you whatever like that Yeah, it doesn't actually yeah, it doesn't mean anything it's like oh damn you learned how to rhyme a word you're such a big boy oh my god yeah it's like it's annoying but it doesn't make me mad I mean but the thing that made me mad is I was like how dare you imply that like I don't love my best friend yeah like literally I don't know any other place where I've said it before or I will be here Fucking nine to five not even nine to five ten to eight with people and then be like so you guys want food after? Yeah, you want to go get and then also get drinks three days this weekend. Like yeah
Starting point is 00:15:37 I like I love everybody here like genuinely that's like the worst part Yeah, yeah, we we uh, we all got laid off and then immediately started hanging out with each other more Yeah, yeah, which I think is great and Griffin. I have been doing this new thing Where are you guys looking at stuff? Sorry? Wait me or the other person cuz I was defending our fucking capital. Someone said they wanted to join Mondo's white like supremacy podcast. Oh, I call it info genocide. Yeah, sorry.
Starting point is 00:16:16 We did the crying one last week. This is the jokes one. This is the jokes one. Yeah, this is the one where if you missed it and I'll get back to it. I was saying if you missed it when we were in the Live show. What do you oh you asking about my coffee?
Starting point is 00:16:30 Yeah, it's cold. I got a cold brew and then Sugar sweetener, it's a nitro cold brew. It's a nitro cold brew. It's a nitrous cold brew. Yeah, it's good made in Tennessee We we I'm the finest. We uh, we uh, in the meeting that we had, not meeting, what do you call it, in the livestream that we did to uh. It's called Slaughter. In the Slaughter that we had. Yes, in the Slaughter that we had when we were in the livestream giving out more information and talking about stuff.
Starting point is 00:16:59 By the way, it's up in the chat right now, but if you have questions about stuff you can go to roosterteeth.com slash g slash rt news. It sounds like i'm doing a bit but if you want genuine information that's the best place to get it. Anything we say here is not going to be helpful at all. Not even the slightest. But when we were in that thing we talked about um hold on i'm so sorry can't wait to join Mondo's basketball team the January Sixers. That's very. Hey, you're hired and you're fired Welcome aboard I'll send you your exit package So yeah we we were in that meeting and I
Starting point is 00:17:39 Promoted us and the new episodes that we were doing by saying like boy Moi, if you thought that we were unhinged before, we've got six months and they can't extra fire us. Yeah. So it's going to be a real fun time. Yeah. My phone has just been autocorrecting after I put, type the word what to just, are they going to do fire us? Because I've typed it so many times.
Starting point is 00:18:04 Oh, man. Next week, completely naked times. I typed it so many times. Oh, man. Next week, completely naked show. It's dick out. We're doing it. Full frontal. Dick's out for a homebody. Let's go.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Also, if you can't see us, if you're just listening to this, we are wearing full suits. We are actually, we decided to dress up in our Gusfellas thing. Our Gusfellas outfits. Because it's kind of a funeral too. Yeah, a little bit. This is the, yeah, we had the eulogy part.
Starting point is 00:18:29 This is at the bar afterwards where you're talking shit. Um, so we had recorded that episode of RTP, the one that we did last Tuesday. Yes, yes. I'm closing all the loops of tangents that were done. Of course, yeah. We recorded that episode, and then we got laid off, not 20 hours later, and we went,
Starting point is 00:18:48 oh man, we can't air that one. Oh, that can't be the one that we air right after we found out we got fired. It's funny, it's not make up for us just getting fired funny. No. Holy shit. So we decided that we were going to do
Starting point is 00:19:02 a very special live RTP for you. Yeah. And here we are. All you goons out there. That episode. So we decided that we were going to do a very special live RTP for you. And here we are. All you goons out there. That episode. All you out there gooning right now. Which if you're watching this show at Monday at 1 o'clock, you absolutely are. If you're watching this show just fucking edging yourself.
Starting point is 00:19:20 Then thank you for understanding what this show's always been about. Truly. So, yeah, that's why we're doing this live episode. That's what happened with last week's episode. And then also, to close another tangent loop, this thing that Griff and I have been doing a lot lately is whenever we go to pay for something, we like going, hey, how's it going? We just got laid off. Oh, I just got laid off.
Starting point is 00:19:43 I just got laid off. Oh, I just got laid off. Wednesday, just got laid off. I just got laid off. I just got laid off. I just got laid off. Wednesday, just got laid off. I just got laid off. I actually hear it. You made a video. I have a video. Cameron's in it.
Starting point is 00:19:53 And you're in it. And you're in it. And you're in it. I want to play this video. You'll only be able to hear the audio from it. But here we go. Just got laid off. I just got we go. We just got laid off. I just got laid off.
Starting point is 00:20:06 We just got laid off. We just got laid off. Woo! I just got laid off. We all just got laid off. If you're hiring, please, I'm sending you my resume right now. The music from the bar in the background is truly the best part.
Starting point is 00:20:26 Can you embed video in a LinkedIn? Can that play as soon as someone clicks your profile? Oh my god. Yeah, that was quite a night. Oh, and before that we were at a South By thing networking and we put on name tags that just said I just got laid off on Wednesday yeah we met so many we met executives from dropout we met executives from like all the major like podcast advertising people and on our fucking our name tag just said we I just
Starting point is 00:20:59 got laid off and people thought it was hilarious and the best best part was all these people wanted to network. They wanted to talk. They were like, so what's next for you? Do you think that you need some help? What do you want to make? And I was like, my guy, I'm here for the open bar right now. I don't want to talk to you about anything. Add me on LinkedIn.
Starting point is 00:21:24 Let's discuss after South By. Add me on LinkedIn. Let's discuss after South By. Add me on LinkedIn and look away. So we've been doing. Don't make eye contact with me. Oh, yeah, that's the other thing. This is my first South By where, oh, god, this is going to be. I've registered for a lot of like conventions this year as an RT employee so all of my badges when I go to dream hack when I go to evo when I go to fucking packs in a week it's just gonna
Starting point is 00:21:54 say Rooster Teeth on it and everyone's gonna know if you've got Rooster Teeth business cards they should be good for one free drink right now at all bars I think I feel like so that's what I to say. That is what we've been doing. When we were at that bar, when I took that video, we went up to the bartender and ordered a round of green tea shots for everyone. And then we went, we just got laid off. Well, no, I walked up and I said, I was like, how much for, how much for 10 green tea shots? And she was like, they're 12 bucks,
Starting point is 00:22:28 they're like 12.95 or something insane. And I was like, damn, so we all just got laid off. And then Mondo comes up and he's like, he's like, do you need help carrying them? And I was like, oh my God, thank you for coming over. I was just telling her that we got laid off. And he was like, oh yeah, we all just got laid off. And she was like, oh, yeah And she was like, oh well
Starting point is 00:22:50 Where did you work for Rooster teeth and she goes I don't think I've ever heard of it and I was like you probably have it But if you ever dated a boyfriend who was really bad to you who was really bad to you, he definitely knew it. Oh yeah. Uh, so she did give us a discount, but that also reminded me that when we were in a lift later, we were doing this and we were like, we just gotta lay it off, and the guy was like,
Starting point is 00:23:14 oh, where's your work? And he said Rooster Teeth. Did you ever date a guy with a hot couch and Funko pops? He definitely knows. He loved our stuff. Yeah, he loved it. No, but he was like, he was very arty fan coded and Mondo just kept going dude You would have loved our stuff. You would have fucking loved what we did dude. This guy looked just like me and
Starting point is 00:23:37 He actually he looked like me and Tyler mixed together. He had like this really he had like a sports hat on but it had rainbow And it said ally on the side. I was like oh you would love their stuff dude. Yeah, he was like this really he had like a sports hat on but it had rainbow and it said ally on the side I was like, oh you would love their stuff. Yeah, he was like hell divers and he was like, yes. Yeah. Yeah, he was so sick he Yeah, we were really trying to tell him hard like hey man, if you go sign up for a first account They might save us But we were just trying to get out of paying the yeah either that or he's making his third account to get banned probably called like Called like I like Michael Jones more than you
Starting point is 00:24:10 Me too Called my parasocial relationships don't fill the hole in my heart I can't believe you made a second account that's so funny What there's so much effort going into being a fucking dumbass. It's so funny. So yeah, the bartender gave us all the prices for well drinks instead of like the, but like poured in like JMo and like good shit. Yeah, shout out to her.
Starting point is 00:24:36 Shout out to her. People have been just giving us free stuff ever since you just tell them like, oh, I just got laid off. It's a pretty good thing. So now I'm trying to see which of the two of us can get the most free stuff. Will that work for rent, do you think?
Starting point is 00:24:48 Can I get a discount on my rent? If you do the inhale through the teeth that you did earlier. So, maybe. You might be able to swindle that. I don't live for a conglomerate. Like, my landlord is two gay guys that live down the street.
Starting point is 00:25:06 So I feel like, here's the thing, community is so important. Uh-huh. Mm, mm, preach. Yeah, word, spit, spit. I just got laid off. Spit, spit, yeah. Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Oh man. Oh man, we just got laid off. We just got laid off. Yeah, I feel great. I actually do. I'm wondering, I to go around the room and seeing what is everybody taking? Has everybody like, everyone grab a label maker
Starting point is 00:25:30 and start putting your name on stuff. We're just like. Oh, I'll go first. I've had a lot of people ask me and I've gotten a lot of answers like do not say anything. Yeah. Everyone come here and light up and then. Well here, I'll start us off.
Starting point is 00:25:40 What is everyone taking? A lot of Zoloft. Uh, like a bar, like one bar every six hours. One bar every six hours. That's a joke and it's one that we would have cut out initially. Hello, welcome to the RTP. Braylon was there.
Starting point is 00:25:54 Hi, I just got laid off. Open for work. I am legally obligated to tell you that I am not taking anything. No. At all. No. From my room. No, and I'm also legally obligated to tell you that I am not taking anything. No. At all. No. From my room. No, and I'm also legally obligated to say that I did not black out all of the security
Starting point is 00:26:11 cameras on the main hallway, but not the side ones. Yeah. Oh. And I'm legally not allowed to tell you that if you factory reset your computer, the Sentinel programming goes down and they can't tell you where it is anymore. You know, that's all information I didn't need to know. No, no. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:27 And also my boss is in the other room. Yeah, we're also legally obligated to not tell you that there are some really, really, really cool things just lying around. Oh, I know. Not necessarily. Tripping over cool stuff. Tripping over cool stuff.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Hey, John Mace, how's it going? John Mace! Hey, give it up for John Mace, everybody. John, what's up? Oh, come here, John. Master of facilities. John Mace. Scowl of the century, John Mace.
Starting point is 00:26:53 Hey, buddy. What are you taking, John Mace? Everything. Maybe the stolen company property is the friends we made along the way. OK. Ha, ha, ha, ha, way. John Mase had a birthday last week. Oh yeah. Happy birthday. Wasn't that on your birthday? It was the day before.
Starting point is 00:27:12 The day before? Yeah. It was Blizz's birthday too yeah. It was weird how that works out. How was your birthday? I'm old. Oh okay. Yeah. The cake didn't taste as good anymore after The birthday you taste your birthdays. I know the birthday cake like Yeah, I'm a synesthesia where I taste my birthday birthday cake was like it usually hits But I was like something's missing and I think it's employment Really oh man can really taste the loss of benefits This 26th birthday tastes like I'm off my parents insurance.
Starting point is 00:27:48 You know what, we may not be funny, but you know what it is? Cobra benefits. They suck shit. Why do they call them cobra benefits? It's weird, and also it's not a benefit. It's like imagine if someone was like, you can have all the money in the world,
Starting point is 00:28:05 but you have to carry it all at once in your hands to have it. Sure. That's a real monkey's paw ass wish fulfillment. It's like you're unemployed, but we're giving you insurance for $1,000 a month. In case you're wondering, because I also just learned what this is
Starting point is 00:28:18 that they're talking about. We're learning so much. It's basically like, if you get unemployed, you don't have a job, et cetera, like you can't afford insurance. in America your health insurance is tied to your work So you keep working in case you get sick so you don't die because capitalism Well, your only intrinsic value in this system and world is what you have to put in Yeah, what you can put in and we are all human capital
Starting point is 00:28:40 That's why I've been saying we shouldn't call it the people team or HR should be human capital management Yeah, like human capital like like herders like yeah, like she like shepherds. Maybe that's all we are I gotta go to the abattoir. I'm sorry HR House my favorite part about being laid off was um Speaking to an HR team who has no idea who we are was speaking to an HR team who has no idea who we are. That was very funny. Just a woman who looks like a LinkedIn profile being like, hey buddy.
Starting point is 00:29:13 Oh, you're talking about the AI generated HR person that we all got? Who we all got, yeah. Hi, I'm Erica. Can I help you just move the little chat bot at the bottom? I have to be clear, the one that I got extremely helpful and very nice. Yeah, so, no, they were all so nice.
Starting point is 00:29:28 I got fired by Clippy. Yeah. Yeah, that really fucked me up. It looks like you have a job. Can I help you with that? Yeah. Brutal. My favorite part about the AI HR person that helped me,
Starting point is 00:29:42 incredibly nice person, by the way. If you're out there watching, thank you. Are you hiring? No. That was her first piece of information. But yeah, the first, she started running through what was going to happen. Like, hey, this is your exit package. This is how severance works. This, that, whatever. This other thing. This is what a warn period is. Giving us all the technical terms and I just kept works, this, that, whatever, this other thing. This is what a warn period is, like giving us all the technical terms, and I just kept going, yeah, yeah, yeah. And she goes, are you like getting all of this?
Starting point is 00:30:13 I don't mean to sound rude, but you seem pretty dismissive. And I was like, oh, I don't understand any of the things you're saying, but I've been writing down every word and I'm gonna go talk to my mom and have mommy explain it to me. He just dead to camera go, this was my first big boy job. So these are all new terms for me.
Starting point is 00:30:33 Yeah. Well, there is something very, I mean, there's something like mentally, the cognitive dissonance of explaining like technical things to you while you're freshly processing a like when literally two hours before uh yeah the rug got pulled out from under you yeah where just like someone talking is like okay so here's your you know here's your exit packet this is what you'll need to do to you know hand in your 401k just like hearing a peanuts adult just yeah i was like just just send me the fucking email like i don't understand anything that's going on right now
Starting point is 00:31:04 Just just send me the fucking email. I don't understand anything that's going on right now. I Also, I took mine a camera I took mine camera off in like mummy position on my bed just like laying down next to the screen just going uh-huh Uh-huh. Yep watching the fan blades like does that sound good to you? What if it did it like what do you mean does that sound good to me? What what does it matter? That's how good you do. I have a choice. What happens if I say no is that like is that like the fucking matrix? I say no it opens up a new path There's a few moments in my life Where I realize that I am so massive that I should be using it more to my advantage
Starting point is 00:31:42 Yeah, and I mean that physically Like I am physically so large. Like when they said, hey, we're shutting down Rooster Teeth. Is that okay with you guys? What if we just went, no. No. No. No. We're gonna stay here.
Starting point is 00:31:54 Well you're brooming the door, come get us. Yeah, fucking lock the doors, we're in here. Hey guys, we're not gonna release Coyote versus Acme. Oh really? Oh word? Are you sure about that? You saw what I did to the Capitol? I'm storming Warner Brothers lot baby.
Starting point is 00:32:07 I'm getting in there. I'm getting coyote. I'm getting Batgirl. They gave you a tour. They fucked up. You know all the ins and outs. I know where it is. And you have an easy getaway. You just paint a door or a tunnel on the wall and you can just get away super fast.
Starting point is 00:32:20 I know where all the equipment is. I know where all the archives are. I know where James Dean's ghost hangs out. That one was real. Yeah, you did get the side of your hip gently touched by James Dean's ghost. I implied. I implied.
Starting point is 00:32:39 What, what? You don't know about this? When we did, so I did a ghost hunt for Travel Channel and like their TikTok account to be clear. And when I was there, oh man, should I say the full story? Why the fuck not? Keep the mystery. All right, fuck it, we're live.
Starting point is 00:33:01 When we did the ghost hunt, we went with two people who were actual ghost hunters and then we went with Armando Torres who is a comedian and my entire job was to just be really stupid and funny and goofy and like have a light-hearted attitude about everything. But while we were hunting for ghosts pretty much nothing happened. A word? Yeah it turns turns out that, uh, look, here's the thing. I don't want to say ghosts aren't real, but there was like 50 of us. There was three ghost hunters, two camera ops, a couple of producers, and then for some reason, 15 fucking executives from the travel channel
Starting point is 00:33:38 who were just fucking there, who were there to tell me, hey, please don't talk shit about the guy from ****. He really does not like it if you talk shit about the guy whose name I think is the hobbit name yeah fuck you we need 15 people to stand around on their phones constantly and be like can we work like Slim Jim into this and anyway so it was like I don't think that it's that ghosts aren't real I think constantly and be like can we work like Slim Jim into this in any way? Yeah, is there any way that we can do that? Let me see. So it was like I don't think that it's that ghosts aren't real. I think it's the fact that the ghosts could smell the executive gross and we're like I'm not coming out. They're the ones that get James Dean's hiding in the background like they're the motherfuckers who killed me.
Starting point is 00:34:18 They got me fucking killed. I'm not going out there. So yeah we we were on this ghost hunt, fucking nothing was happening. So I started, let's say, inventing paranormal activity that started happening, where I would go over to somebody and I would whisper in the ear like, hey, in about five minutes, I'm going to turn the camera over here, because we have one of those cameras that can see infrared. I want you to walk by that window when I like tap on the floor. And I started doing that and the whole point was to make the stream more interesting.
Starting point is 00:34:51 To like add some mystery, to add some stuff. Otherwise it's just a bunch of people with a fucking Geiger counter or whatever just going, nothing yet. Nothing yet. Oh, I think I felt cold. Nothing yet. I think I felt cold. Yeah, walking, that was my favorite thing is walking outside and somebody going, Oh, I think I felt cold. Nothing yet. I think I felt cold.
Starting point is 00:35:05 That was my favorite thing is walking outside and somebody going, oh, I think I feel cold now for some reason, I don't know. Is it because you're not near the burning hot bodies of the 15 executives on their fucking iPhones together over there yet? Their iPhones working double time so that their WhatsApp stays open
Starting point is 00:35:21 so they can keep texting their mistress. So we're, I're, we're, I'm faking these ghostly encounters left and right so that the stream can be more interesting. And then I make us fun realization. Which is that the two ghost hunters that are there with us, they think all of this stuff is really happening. They think that you're just like super attuned.
Starting point is 00:35:42 Yeah. Like you're just open as fuck to the to the supernatural They can tell you real they kept telling me like no one's ever got evidence like this before and I was like No one's ever been gently caressed by the ghost of Jesus well, okay, so that brings us to this at one point I'm starting to be so annoying because I'm like doing jokes, but also I'm the one facilitating all of these ghosts and shit that they go hey Armando we're gonna put you with like this thing that every so often will just shout out a word we're gonna lock you in this closet where like James Dean love to hang out which is like pretty Yeah, kinda on the nose. Pretty hacky supernatural. Pretty fuckin' hack joke ghost hunters. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:27 So, fuck you, s***. And so... Hahaha! It's on sight, s***, by the way. Yeah. I don't know, actually. Is he one of the buff ones? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:36 Oh no, I regret this. But he's 5'6". Ugh, tall... Short... Short... Short kings can fight. Yeah, they're fast and they're ropey. Yeah, you got you got reach Yeah, that's true. You could do the hold the forehead while he just swing, but he's got ghost experience
Starting point is 00:36:53 Fighting ghosts Yeah, I think the fucking hair dye has seeped into his brain and made him stronger I don't think you could feel pain if he wanted to So I'm in the closet. Clip that by the way. So I'm deeply in the closet with this thing that's just shouting words at me, my stepfather. And so I'm in the closet and they say
Starting point is 00:37:21 that this is where James Dean liked to hang out and like just stay in here and like, I'm like, okay, I'll be in here. Ooh, ha ha ha. Ooh, ghost. And then I realized everyone's walked away to go do something else. And I was like, well, I'm turning off this fucking box. So I turn off the box and then I'm just there in the silent. And then I try to open the door and I realized they like locked it so that I would be like in there and I'm like
Starting point is 00:37:46 okay I don't like this. That's weird. I'm not on camera so I don't you know I don't have to be funny but I don't like this. Hey James and then I just started speaking to James Dean like as a bit for myself so that I wouldn't be as scared as I was starting to become. And then I felt something caress my fat supple brown ass. And I wish I was doing a bit with you, Andrew. I know you're not. I wish I was doing a Joakum up with you all, but I got groped on by the ghost of James Dean.
Starting point is 00:38:26 Someone get Chuck Tingle on the phone. Chuck Tingle is how it started to feel after he kept going. He was about to star in a sequel to Giant. Oh folks. Yeah I'm again not joking I I was in there. It was just me by myself. I was talking to James Dean as a bit to make myself feel better. And then I felt something. And I've tried to come up with so many explanations. The easiest one is that I was wearing a flannel.
Starting point is 00:38:56 And maybe the flannel got caught on a nail or something. But I felt pressure. I felt genuine, like the touch that you feel when somebody touches you. Real WB a lot of hours. And I felt pressure. I felt like genuine, like the touch that you feel when somebody touches you. Real WB a lot of hours. And I freaked out. I heard that's great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:39:10 No, no, no, stay on Andrews. Yeah, stay on Andrews. That's a thumbnail. We got a thumbnail. Yeah. Oh, Mondo's Ghost Gooning adventures so yeah I got touched by the ghosts of James Dean I immediately came out of the closet I immediately came out of the closet yeah two very fun jokes back to back I immediately came
Starting point is 00:39:40 out of the closet and told them what happened and they were like please don't say that on the livestream and I was like what are you talking about and they're like please don't say that the ghost of James Dean grabbed your butt. I don't. Why? You don't want to libel him in the afterlife. Hello I represent the estate of James Dean slapping you with the. How dare you insinuate he never fondled a man.
Starting point is 00:40:01 So yeah that was the thing that I wasn't allowed to talk about when it happened, and now I am allowed to talk about it. Cause what are they gonna do? What are they gonna do? Extra not hire me after this? Probably. Probably. I don't think I'll ever work again. Ah, not.
Starting point is 00:40:19 That's stronger than I thought it was. Oh boy. That's cause there's no coconut. You're rather full of whiskey. Oh yeah, let's put a little bit one for you one for daddy Those are my favorite Episodes those are my favorite episodes of the ones for daddy. Yeah, those are like episodes that are unsellable sure to two sponsors We still sell them. Yeah, somehow. That's a crazy thing. Yeah. Oh man before this place shuts down
Starting point is 00:40:41 I need to break all my shady rays so I can get Yeah, I need to break all my Shady Rays. So I can get new ones. Do we get new Shady Rays? I'm sorry, not break. They don't wanna know what happened. No questions asked, Andrew. Fuck. Single on me, please. Get a tight single. Hey folks, my name's Armando Torres.
Starting point is 00:41:00 I'm a former host of the Rooster Teeth podcast. I've been a show runner for this show for a really long time, and as a showrunner, one of my responsibilities is to approve and disapprove of ad sales. There were some ad sales that I was allowed to do, to veto, and there were some that I was not allowed to veto, and we were forced to do it anyway. So this is a little segment of RTP called, which advertisers did we actually like? Have you ever heard the term treat yourself? Well, sometimes we deserve that extra little treat
Starting point is 00:41:33 like a 30 minute massage or maybe even extra leg room on your flight. And if you're gonna treat yourself for the everyday life experiences, why settle for less when it comes to picking your doctor? Enter ZocDoc, the place where you can find and book tens of thousands of top tier doctors, all with verified patient reviews. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare highly rated in-network
Starting point is 00:42:00 doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. Once you find the right doc you want, you can book them immediately, no more waiting awkwardly on hold with a receptionist. And these docs all have verified reviews from actual real patients. You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance or ones that are located near you and ones that treat basically any condition that you're searching for. The typical wait time to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is just between 24 and 72 hours. That's it. 24 and 72 hours.
Starting point is 00:42:37 That is it. You can even score same-day appointments. When I moved to Texas, I basically had to pick all new doctors for everything, for every little thing. And you never know if you're picking the right person until you use ZocDoc. Every single time I need to find a new care physician or a new person for a specialty, I can go on ZocDoc, search up what I'm looking for, search up people near me, see real reviews and get the best doctor possible. They make it so easy. It's incredible. I don't know why I wasn't using ZocDoc for everything before. So do not settle. Go for the best and find the right doctor
Starting point is 00:43:17 for you. With ZocDoc, you've got more options than you know. Go to ZocDoc.com slash Rooster Teeth and download the ZocDoc app for free and then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash Rooster Teeth. ZocDoc.com slash Rooster Teeth. I've never felt more rested and do you know why? It's because I own a Helix Sleep mattress. I actually do own a Helix Sleep mattress. They sent it to me in a box that I got into my elevator, brought up to my apartment building, cut it open, took the bag out, cut open the bag and the mattress just went like it was a life raft. But instead of being lost at sea, I'm lost in sleep, baby.
Starting point is 00:44:09 It's so good. I cannot, I can't stop screaming about this mattress. It's so incredibly fun. Um, and it fits me, which if you don't know me, might not seem like a big deal, but, uh, in case you're looking at me right now, I'm a big boy. Okay? And finding mattress that fits? Extremely difficult, not with Helix. It's incredible. Everybody is unique and everyone sleeps differently. That's why Helix has several different mattress models
Starting point is 00:44:35 to choose from, each designed for specific sleep positions and feel preferences. Models with memory foam layers to provide optimal pressure relief if you sleep on your side, which my partner definitely does, and so we've got a bed that accommodates for that too, but they also have models with a more responsive foam to cradle your body for essential support in stomach and back sleeping positions as well, plus enhanced
Starting point is 00:45:00 cooling features to keep you from overheating at night. And did you know that Helix Sleep also supports military first responders, teachers, and students by giving them a special discount on site? And unlike a lot of mattress companies out there, Helix owns its own manufacturing facility, which means that each and every Helix mattress is made by a team of skilled manufacturers and shipped directly from their facility to your door. You don't have to take my word for it. Helix Sleep has over 12,000 5-star reviews and has been awarded the best mattress winner by Parents Magazine. And for this show, Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners.
Starting point is 00:45:51 So go to helixsleep.com slash rooster. This is their best offer yet and it will not last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. Yes! Let's fucking go! Wait, wait, before we do that, let's go to the next one. starts now Let's fucking go before we do that Tyler Tyler Last four ad reads what are the ad reads we have this week?
Starting point is 00:46:19 Oh, we love you. I love that. We actually love that. I love my healing Genuinely, it changed my life. I actually go to bed now. I slept on a helix today. Me too. Me too. I almost was late What's the other one? Zoc doc that's how I booked my doctor's appointments. They're fine. Yeah, they're good That's how I went to the hour just because of them. We have we have Helix and Zoc doc was the other one. Yeah, cool. Yeah, we love Shady Ray's. Yeah Actually, actually love Shady Ray's they're a good product. Yeah, actually do. I actually love Shady Rays. They're a good product. They're too good, actually. I was making a joke on ZocDoc, but I genuinely do like ZocDoc.
Starting point is 00:46:49 I literally went to the allergist. I was only able to get in because of ZocDoc. That's not an ad. That was just me two weeks ago. No, this is the ad now. I didn't even know they were a fucking sponsor. This is the ad. At least I know where to cut the ad in at.
Starting point is 00:46:59 Yeah, right now, right here. Yeah, ZocDoc was cool. Shady Rays was the coolest advertiser I think that we ever had because boy Did those boys love to play? Yes. Anything we did they say go further. Yes. Like with the Mother's Day ad re- Oh my fucking god. Where we implied Shady Raze was gonna fuck your mom? No, we implied that Shady Raze was going to lovingly and tenderly take care of your mother for the rest of her life. That's right!
Starting point is 00:47:26 Yeah, we were like Shady Ray isn't gonna fuck your mom. Shady Ray's gonna love your mother. No, no, no, no, no. I remember it now, because it wasn't... We didn't imply Shady Ray was going to fuck your mom. We implied that Shady Ray is fucking your mom. But is gonna put a ring on it, because Shady Ray loves your mom so much. Shady Ray loves your mom. Take care of her in her old age. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:44 I remember we put that one out, and then we met the sponsors at like RTX or yeah Thing and they were like we fucking love it. That is so funny. Can I buy you a drink? Feel like you might get No, yeah Shady Ray, they were the coolest. Definitely the coolest. They loved to play, they loved to let us get away with just insane shit. Just such a fun time. Helix mattresses, genuinely.
Starting point is 00:48:12 Genuinely a really fucking good mattress. I hadn't shit Ikea mattress for like five years. Oh yeah. And the Helix mattress, I literally, I wish I was joking, fixed my back pain. Like this isn't,, it just fixed my back I said it shit mattress. Oh, yeah, and like didn't you think it was like a twin? No, I went from a fool to a queen. Yeah. Yeah, it was a no least on life. Oh absolutely Yeah, so we actually sleeping like a college kid and now you sleep like somebody in a committed relationship
Starting point is 00:48:42 Who else who else was good? Oh shit. Yeah. With the queen mattress. Who else? Who else was good? That's it. All the fun ones. End of list. End of list.
Starting point is 00:48:51 End of list. Every other one. Oh, Factor. I like Factor. Factor was cool. Factor was one of those ones that I felt stupid promoting because every single time I was like, I genuinely love Factor. I was being real.
Starting point is 00:49:01 I was being 100% serious. They have this like shredded beef thing with like a cauliflower mash that changed my life. Factors great What's that other one the underwear one? Me undies? Oh fucking look I only have me undies. I only wear me undies. I don't have any other underwear. I just have fun patterns of me undies. Can we get a single on me? Hi, my name is Armando Torres Are you looking for an underwear that'll fit your lifestyle and cradle your balls?
Starting point is 00:49:29 Your brown supple ass. Your brown supple ass. In a way that only the ghosts of GMC usually can? Well then try me undies. The best underwear for visiting the Warner Brothers lot. I looked just to make sure because I was like, what if someone changed my my under before I know I looked I got the olive martini ones purple they're very cute oh you got a classic you got the classic color what about you got the you got the classic Look at that, me undies. Really? It's good underwear. Tyler, are you wearing me undies? Yes.
Starting point is 00:50:10 Show it. Put a camera on Tyler. Take off your pant. Don't you run away from me. I think I actually could get fired for that one. Or you get promoted to an executive position at WB. Tyler, you want to approach the mic? You want to talk to the people?
Starting point is 00:50:30 Folks, Tyler Stab. Tyler Stab. Mr. Helldiver himself. Yeah. Mr. 3D printer. Mr. uh, would you call me? Bag of dog piss and shit. Yeah, you bag a dog piss and dog shit. Yeah, yeah. Tyler, you were our supervising producer for... Still am, still am. Still am. Still are.
Starting point is 00:50:54 We'll see if we can get anywhere with this. I'm last one off the copter, you know, kind of a thing. How was the experience for you? Thousand yard stare, I don't know. I don't know how to describe it. I've been here eight years. Yeah. It's a long time.
Starting point is 00:51:13 And these were your favorite ones? The past two, yeah. Mainly this show brought me a lot of life. That's really sweet. Have I ever told a story how I got a job here? No. No. Oh, Tyler, I guess your time's done
Starting point is 00:51:25 All right, yeah, bye. Yeah, buddy. I'm sorry. Oh fuck out of here you piece of dog shit and dog piss It's a bag of dog shit. No. He's been downgraded. Oh, he's been down. It's not even in a bag anymore It's just enhanced. Oh! All right, really quick. And your cupped hands. Really quick before we, oh my god, use promo code RTLAYD off for an extra 0% off your VMEs. Oh!
Starting point is 00:51:52 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Fucking incredible. Oh, is it too late to change our last two VMEs? I just wanted to say a thank you to Tyler Stabb for producing
Starting point is 00:52:03 this show and putting up with us. Yeah. When we took over the show and putting up with us. Yeah. When we took over this show and we had all these big grand ideas and we were making our stupid sketches and our stinky little game shows and all the fun stuff that they took from us. All the fun stuff that we love to make. Tyler was the one that was there fighting for us
Starting point is 00:52:18 and doing stuff and helping us make those things. And my hair went with it at the same time. And that's our fault. Yeah. No, no. It's been going for a while. It looks. It actually looks. You accelerated.
Starting point is 00:52:28 Thicker and more luscious since you've been doing it with us. Well, I have a lot of people with good hair. So I have to live up to the expectation. Well, I appreciate it. We took three years of your life and four inches off your hairline. So thank you, buddy. I love you so much.
Starting point is 00:52:42 Yeah. They were the bad years, though. They were at the end. Yeah, so you I've never heard the story of how you started working here I okay So they were making laser team 2 and then it was bad and then it got handed to four more people Who rewrote the entire thing? I think like in a weekend Oh, and if you can believe it it somehow got worse
Starting point is 00:53:01 I think like in a weekend. And if you can believe it, it somehow got worse. Interesting. And so they brought me on to do rewrites and punch ups on set so I was rewriting scenes as they were filming. I was like on. Were you just like watching, you're like, that doesn't work. It made no sense.
Starting point is 00:53:18 Jesus Christ. I was hired to do punch up and I essentially rewrote act two and three, like as they were making it. It was a lot of fun because it was all the problem solving of like okay Well, we can tie up this loose end and make this make sense He's just great actually we can't cuz we are we filmed that we filmed all the scene We filmed the scene that would make that make sense earlier so yesterday you're the one that took out all the
Starting point is 00:53:40 The Gavin dildo content or no you son of a bitch. I'm sorry. I did yeah, yeah, those you you know about that right? No, oh, so I think there was like a joke that Gavin's character has a huge dick in the movie So he wore like this fake big prosthetic dick for a lot of the filming that heard it like bruises like hurt him real bad But then none of the jokes about it made it to the final cut so he just No fucking the jokes about it made it to the final cut. So he just suffered for no fucking reason. That's so fucking great. Just a bruised thigh for a joke that didn't make it to edit.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Oh my God. That's like, I don't know if you guys, do you remember that show that we made, well I didn't work on it, but the company made it, Camp Betrayal. I was on that. Oh yeah? Oh that's right, you were on that. Yeah, I had to eat the raw cow tongue. I threw up next to Michael Jost. I saw that yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:28 I uh that the the the big dick joke reminds me of how there's a scene where they made Alfredo getting on all fours. Oh my god for like two hours. Yeah and they weren't ready they weren't ready to film so they just let him sit there on all fours for three hours Blindfolded and like I think handcuffed. Yeah for like two or three hours. It was like 30 degrees outside 30 degrees middle of nowhere. He's just like fucking locked up like he's about to play in a saw game Yeah, we don't make fetish content. No Also someone else's I think he was also tied to a mannequin like, Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:06 Like human centipede style? I don't know, I was eliminated by then because Blaine hates women. But uh... Okay, hold on. Hahahaha! Oh man! Hold on. Blaine, come defend yourself. Yeah, come defend yourself. He's making stinky. He's not gonna do it.
Starting point is 00:55:21 Yeah, that's what we call it when he takes a big poop. Making stinky. When you go, Blaine makes stinky. He's playing with do it. Yeah, that's what we call it when he takes a big poop He's playing with puppets or whatever. Um, yeah, no it that that was uh, that was my first like big big shoot It was really interesting Yeah, I want to say it was fun But I was so cold for most of it that I was like grumpy a little bit, but it was it was fun It's so fucking cold my first like big production that we did was last laugh last last even season two where I my god
Starting point is 00:55:54 just like oh locked in a room for like what was it ended up being like 13 hours or something full time season two yeah I, right? Season two, yeah. Yeah, I got eliminated first in that one. Yeah, I was very jealous. Oh man. You want to go out first in that game to me. I felt like it was a passing of the baton. Because I remember in a...
Starting point is 00:56:16 No one can't betray, Barb got out first. And that is something that happens to her a lot apparently. And then ever since that moment, I became the person who's been eliminated first in things. So I feel like it was a passing of the baton to another woman getting out of the content early on. Uh. Uh.
Starting point is 00:56:33 It was so fun. That show was really fun to make, but it was so like not laughing and also bombing for 12 hours straight made me want to fucking die. I always thought you hated me because of last laugh. What? Yeah, because there was like one point
Starting point is 00:56:49 where you yelled at me because I wouldn't engage with you and you were like, just fucking play with me and I was like, ah. Yeah, I was not, okay, I wasn't mad. I was trying to still get a laugh by keeping yelling like, why won't anyone play with me? Because no one wanted to do bits with me. keeping yelling like, why won't anyone play with me? Because no one wanted to do bits with me.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Do you know the bit that I got somebody with that actually worked? The only joke that actually got somebody to laugh, or I think I got a couple people out, but the biggest one was I went up to Trevor, I had a picture of the blue men group, I tapped him on the shoulder, he turned around, and I went, does this look okay to you? And showed him the picture of the Blue Man group. And that was, stop laughing!
Starting point is 00:57:29 It's so dumb! It's just so dumb! That would have gotten me because it- That would have gotten me too. Yeah, it makes no sense. My favorite thing is, I don't know why they did this in the edit, but I think they gave you a point for getting me out, but Fiona got me out. Oh yeah, it's because what she said. Because of what she says.
Starting point is 00:57:46 Can I say it? What are they gonna do, fire me? Can she say it? Yeah, it was, I forgot what we were doing. And she made a reference, have you seen that? It's like a picture of the Kermit the Frog puppet and he's like holding the open. Oh yeah, he's goat saying.
Starting point is 00:58:00 He's goat singing. Yeah, she looks directly at me and she goes, no, it's just like Kermit and then she just turns around and goes And I laughed that was my last one that got me out and then but then the edit it was something you said I don't remember what it was. I don't know what they gave you credit for Yeah, and they had to they had to give it to me because they were like, well, we can't have her laughing at Kermit Goatsy Kermit Goatsie. Kermit Gaping, if you have that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:26 Oh, no, that was awesome. I would have been so dog shit at that show. Oh yeah, also, it was you couldn't smile either. That's what really got me. Oh, that was a tough one. If you could smile, I would have lasted way longer, but I love everyone in that room so much. How can I help but smile?
Starting point is 00:58:41 I know that I laughed at least twice, and I don't remember if I laughed more than that. Bubble. But both times that I laughed, I got myself out. The first one was because I was trying to turn on a loud speaker, like a police bullhorn. Thank you. I was trying to turn on a bullhorn,
Starting point is 00:59:03 and it wouldn't turn on. And then I figured out how to fix it And I was so pleased with myself that I went hey Second one is when I Grabbed a jump rope and Michael Jones said that he bet I couldn't even do one single jump rope and I did five He smiled not a brag and I did five. And you smiled. Not a brag! And I smiled again and then I got... The smiling rule, if this company wasn't having everyone lay it off and we couldn't make a
Starting point is 00:59:32 season three, I think if we got rid of the smiling rule, it would be a lot more savage. Yeah! Yeah, because she didn't surely get out because she kept smirking at her own jokes and I think that's why she got out. Yeah, she would make a joke and then smile at it. And then like, meh. Like. So fucking funny.
Starting point is 00:59:54 Last laugh season three was at the Easy Tiger, last week. No one was laughing. No one was laughing, everyone was just drinking and looking at their glass. We did that, that like, what do you call it? Not the last stream that we ever did. I think they literally call it not our goodbye stream.
Starting point is 01:00:11 And my mother texted me to be like, hey, I saw the stream, you were very funny, but you probably shouldn't have been, probably should have been more serious. Lot of people really upset, didn't like how you were making jokes. Lot of people really not feeling good. Very hard to watch.
Starting point is 01:00:25 Love seeing you. Cool. Thanks mom. Thanks mom. Thanks mom. You're gonna have to ban your mom from chat. Yeah, I can't believe my, also my mom said in the message she was like,
Starting point is 01:00:36 I don't know who most of those people are and it was very hard to watch. And I was like, wow mom, way to hit us with a who are these people. Damn fucking buzzer man. Just one last one. One last one. Damn fucking buzzer, man. Just one last one. One last one. Half court buzzer beater.
Starting point is 01:00:48 Oh, who are these people? God. Hello. Hey, Kai. Hey, Kai. Hey. Do you want to say something? Do you want to say some words?
Starting point is 01:00:57 How's it going? Hello, I'm Kai. Hello. Hi, hi, I'm Kai. Hi. That's why I say I'm my brand, my personal brand. I need to grow now because I lost my job. Yeah Oh, you got laid off. Oh, I got laid off. That's crazy. Me too
Starting point is 01:01:08 I know you would think they would not do it cuz I thought they were really pushing diversity equity and inclusion But like look at us. No, they were they were pushing them to the unemployment line. Yeah Yeah, pushing them into the sea. I want to say to their credit Yeah, the three of us are just as fired as Barbara is. Yeah. You know what? Everyone is equally as fired. That's equity.
Starting point is 01:01:31 That's diversity. That's inclusion. You know what the best part is? We are just as fired as Jeff Ramsey is. That's a straight white man. That is a straight white man. I'm just as unemployed as a guy with all of that money in his bank account.
Starting point is 01:01:44 Yeah. Now that we're doing the last step. Yeah. I'm just as unemployed as a guy with all of that money in his bank account. Now that we're doing the last step. Yeah, we're the same. Jeff and I. That was my favorite thing was that live episode that we did for Moon Tower. And Tower where Jeff showed us his bank account and me and Mondo were so poor that we couldn't see the number. Yeah, I mean, Jeff has had what, three weddings now? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:06 So I mean, that goes really far, right? They're not cheap. Weddings are not cheap. The weddings aren't cheap, but the real flex? Two divorces. That's even more, yeah, that's... I love that man with all my heart, I gotta tell you. He's the best.
Starting point is 01:02:21 I have to be so clear, I like Jeff a lot. The thing about Jeff is I fucking hate him because goddamn, every time he cries, I cry. Yeah. I hate be so clear. I like Jeff. Yeah, we look the thing about Jeff is I fucking hate him cuz goddamn every time He cries I cry. Yeah, I hate it so much. Oh man. Yeah, there's I hate it so much There's like a few people like that like the second. I see them get even a little misty. I'm like Yeah, yeah, so how are you? Yeah, I'm actually doing okay I've actually changed my emails because I always start them with, Hi, I hope you're doing well. No one is. So instead I say, Hi, I hope you're okay.
Starting point is 01:02:51 And if you're not, that's okay. Just slightly change the word because you never know what people are going through right now. I keep starting it with, Hey, I hope this email finds you drunk. Drunk or something else I can't say. Hey, I hope this email gets kicked back to me, because it's been deactivated. Because RT's been deactivated. No, that's the thing. Everyone in the goodbye RT Slack, because we have that now,
Starting point is 01:03:12 is saying to check every single thing that you have an email associated with. Because if you have your RT email associated with anything, good luck. Oh, no. Yeah. That's how I pay my rent. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:03:23 Oh, I think my gas bill's hooked up to that. How? I moved. Insane. I was doing a bit. I moved and they wouldn't let me use my old one because it was attached to a different apartment and they wouldn't use another one
Starting point is 01:03:39 because it was also attached to a different apartment. So then I was like, oh, I have this one. I'll change it at some point. You know you could just transfer accounts instead of making new ones? It wouldn't let me. Kaylee. Because I went from apartment,
Starting point is 01:03:51 we don't have to get into it. Texas Natural Gas is not a good website. Oh my God, it's fucking, it's like HTML website. It sucks, it won't let you do, if you go from apartments to like a single home, single family home unit, it won't let you just transfer the account. I don't know why.
Starting point is 01:04:07 The Texas Natural Gas website has a hit counter at the bottom. That's how old it is. Out of fucking... It's actually just somebody's old MySpace page. Averilabene plays when you log on. Not the song you think either. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Oh my God. So, hey, we've had a lot of fun here. And by that I mean doing this job. I love you. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too.
Starting point is 01:04:31 I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too.
Starting point is 01:04:39 I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. I love you too. love and respect both of you so incredibly much. The two of you are two of my best friends and I love you so very deeply. Love you so much.
Starting point is 01:04:48 All of the people that work here are just absolutely phenomenal people who have worked so hard to bring you such great fun content for just fucking years. And the last couple of years, things have been very rough, obviously. Like no one expected the layoffs to come now, but you'd be fucking crazy if you didn't think we were all gonna get laid off sooner or later. One of the running jokes
Starting point is 01:05:12 that I've had is I got hired at RT so late, it was like approaching the sinking Titanic on a jet pack doing fucking loop-de-loops to waste the gas, landing on the tip of it, walking up to the band going, what's going on guys? You know, it is what it is, but I don't feel like any of this was a failure. I feel like I got to make some of my favorite stuff with my favorite friends. I feel like everything that we did and all the work that we put in was so incredibly worth it.
Starting point is 01:05:42 I would not have changed any of this for anything. I would change the part where we got laid off last week. Fair enough, yeah, yeah, yeah. I would have just that part though, nothing else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, other than the end. Other than the end. But yeah, everyone that works here,
Starting point is 01:05:59 everyone that worked with us especially, I know I gave shout outs before, but thank you to Justin. Thank you to Cameron. Thank you to Fisher. Thank you to Mike. Thank you to Michael. Thank you to Cody, Tyler. Cat.
Starting point is 01:06:14 Cat. Diamond. Fucking diamond. Everybody. Literally every single person who helped work with us. Cameron Pester, like fucking everybody. A cameraman named Cameron. Like you can't, where else are you gonna find that?
Starting point is 01:06:24 You can't write this shit. We got two camera people named Cameron. Can. Insane. That's messed up. I have had such a blast doing all of this stuff and we will be doing this until we're not allowed to do it anymore. Until they-
Starting point is 01:06:37 Yeah, which might be the now if they watch this back. That is very true. If any executive happens to be watching this stream right now. Oh yeah, and a super huge shout out especially to Jordan watching this stream right now. Oh, yeah, and it's super huge shout out Especially to Jordan Levin. Oh, man Yeah, manning the helm and just like doing everything in his power to make sure that everyone is just taking care of as possible really Hannah
Starting point is 01:06:58 Joanne like you know and Yeah to everyone at RT. It's been so much fun. We've had such a blast. This is not our goodbye. We've still got some episodes planned. We've got some fun stuff. And hey, if you're interested in hearing that episode that we recorded just 20 hours before we got fired, boy, do I have some good episode for you next week. And I think that before we leave, before we take out,
Starting point is 01:07:22 before we go and end this livestream, let's do another Always On. Yeah, let's do it. Yeah! Are we switching seats or what? No, let's just do it here. No, no, no. You're gonna get joked off of?
Starting point is 01:07:34 Yeah, we actually, all three of us have planned a joke for this week. I don't know if you're part of our company Slack, but the news is terrible. And so the three of us have taken one joke I don't know if you're part of our company Slack, but the news is terrible Three of us have taken one particular headline and turned it into three punchlines It's this is your week in jokes We will not be joking off today. We've just each of us have written
Starting point is 01:08:13 Singular joke. I just don't have an enemy. I can my I'm sure I'm dry. I'm joking blanks. Yes Yeah, I'm opening up my notes app sure yeah, I'm chafed. It's in my fireball offenses tab Okay What what are they gonna? Do Griff would you like to go first? I want to go second, okay. What are they gonna do? Griff, would you like to go first? No, I wanna go second. Okay. I feel like yours is pretty good, so that's, I guess I'll just go first. Go for it, yeah. Hit us. Okay. And Andrew can take us out.
Starting point is 01:08:36 Sure. Yeah, there we go. Yeah. Internet media company Rooster Teeth, also known as your ex-boyfriend's favorite thing to yell at you about until he found out about Tom Segura and Joe Rogan. Shut down after 20 years of service. How could this have happened? Said several YouTubers who upload videos
Starting point is 01:08:56 like Rooster Teeth is Dead for the last 15 years. What are they gonna make videos on now, by the way? Rooster Teeth is dead. Yeah. We know. And you know, to that point, I will say I've seen those and most views on their channel, all those videos. And honestly, the most hurtful part, more views than on our channel. Also, weirdly all like Scandinavian for some reason. Have you ever noticed that? What did we do to the Swedes? Oh, we insulted a dry, flavorless white fish that one time.
Starting point is 01:09:30 Duh. They were supposed to have been praying on our downfall one. Why don't you fucking Hinga Dinga get the fuck out of here, you bitch? Why don't you take your fucking vitamin D pill in front of your goddamn sad lamp with your six months of darkness? Yeah, you stupid bitch.
Starting point is 01:09:44 Get out of here, you stupid bitch. Get outta here, you fuckin' bitch. All right. Uh, 20-year-old media company Rooster Teeth was recently shut down by a Frankenstein shambling corpse of a . Last week, so that the part-time. and monster under your bed could pretend
Starting point is 01:09:58 to be good at their job, I don't have a punchline, I'm just mad. Yeah, yeah. But if I did have a punchline because we had to bleep out the last half of the thing I said, killed before his 21st birthday, what are we, an old timey slain Hollywood starlet?
Starting point is 01:10:11 Yeah! I think I felt Rooster Teeth touch my ass at the Warner Brothers live. But this company, it's the white Dahlia. Aw! Please, the look Dahlia. Oh yeah. Please, the look value. Oh, yeah. Okay, here we go. Warner Brothers is closing the doors at Rooster Heath after 20 years in business, four of them funny.
Starting point is 01:10:38 When reached for comment, David Zaslav said, subscribe to Dropout at Dropout TV, Dropout.tv for great shows like Game Changer, Very Important People, Make Some Noise, and Um, Actually. Yeah, our meetings went well. Yeah. Pussy slay. I would just like to say here that if you have liked doing this, or if you have liked listening to the show We have loved making it and if you would like to support this show, please go to Armando Torres org
Starting point is 01:11:11 That's a RM a nd o to our es org. Thank you so much. Yeah Yeah, jokes not as good the second time and Listen the cold podcast we have yeah And I do write for dropouts. That was a joke, but actually do go watch their stuff. It's great. So, yeah, we don't know how many episodes of this we have left, but we're going to be going until the fucking lights turn off.
Starting point is 01:11:35 So thank you again for tuning in. And I hope that you saw this when it aired, because if you didn't, oh boy. You probably won't. Is it going to be heavily censored? Thank you so much. I've been Armando Torres. I've been Andrew Rosas. And I guess I'm Griff.
Starting point is 01:11:48 And we will see you when we see you. Bye, everybody. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Can't hear it! My fucking ass! Whoa! Thanks for watching!

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