Tell Em Steve-Dave - #581: Q the Running Man
Episode Date: December 17, 2023Sage acts the fool, Q is impressed by his nephew, someone meets “Q” online, how much to get peed on?...
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Yeah, she's a girl though.
Yeah, that's what I took into account.
That's true.
It's like what a loser.
Yeah. Like how am I getting dragged into all this?
I have nothing to do with any of this.
Even though I don't want, I don't want drugs, it's nice to be offered drugs.
I'll get one of the cool guys at the plaza.
Tell them Steve Dave. Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them Steve Dave.
Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell them, Steve Dave.
Pre-Christmas Walt.
Is this the last one before?
Until the new year?
I believe this is, well, not till the new year, but this is the last one before Christmas.
Next episode will be Christmas.
And I have to recommend that if you are going to listen to the Christmas episode, you may
as well join Patreon, right?
For a month, check out all it has to offer
because it's gonna be on Patreon.
Yeah, the video will be on Patreon and the audio version.
And then of course, it'll also be available on band camp
on December 23rd.
We're looking at December 23rd.
That's the target date.
If you don't see it on December 23rd,
then it'll be in the 24th, but absolutely
one of those two days. Christmas Eve. If you're wondering, Q is also here.
Hello, hello, Q. And that's the TSD Christmas, right? Yes. Okay. There's been... There's a host of Christmas. That's why I was saying. The month of December on the patron has all Christmas content every single week was a Christmas content
Drop so if you're if you're need of some Christmas
Chris a spirit levels low. Yeah, that's the that's the B12 shot. You need
TSD patron more like C12 or C25
C25 okay,25? Okay.
Alright.
Alright, let's go.
Yeah.
Oh, so what do we got this week?
I had some issues.
Maybe walkin' help.
I don't know.
I'll try.
What's goin' on?
I have some problems at school with a kid.
For the first time ever, really really it became a major thing to
a point where I'm like you gotta be fucking kidding me about this shit. So sage
is into fashion. She thinks she's sassy. That's her that's her whole thing. Her
whole sassy. Yeah she believes she's sassy. That's sassy fashion Easter. Yes. So but then
you look at her fashion and you're like, who are you kidding?
It's not crazy.
Does she ever ask you or Mary Beth for advice or?
No, but she will offer advice.
She offers advice and opinions unsolicited all the time.
Now is she like, you know, she's like subscribed to like fashionista.
No, she watched Instagram.
TikTok.
TikTok Instagram and YouTube or her go-to's.
And she went to school the other day and witnessed by a teacher.
So because I usually give her the benefit of that out
with this kind of stuff, witnessed by a teacher,
she shoves a girl and says she doesn't like her outfit.
Oh, no.
Right.
Now meanwhile, I don't know.
I'm not sure what she's wearing, but I'm sure it's not like, you know, Gucci or something.
What kind of shop?
It's funny because it's probably more sheen.
You know, you know, I love cops.
I worked with cops even during the whole time, like I a, I'm a, I'm a, I love cops.
I worked with cops even during the whole time.
Like I said, but it is funny that she becomes fashion police
and she instantly starts slapping people around.
This is what we're trying to get away from.
Yeah, right.
Yeah, I thought we were moving past this.
She's like, it wasn't on video.
Today, the next couple of kind of.
Body cams, they got to stop wearing body cams.
Mm-hmm.
So they call me and I'm like,
okay, well, if she has to get punished at school,
all right, that's not a nice thing to do.
They're like, yeah, but it's what happened afterwards
that was the big problem.
Oh.
And it's them when they asked her why she did it.
She told them that she has a black heart
and the voice is told her to do it. She told them that she has a black heart and the voices told her to do it.
Oh. And so if there's a lot of you're not really thinking it's that fucking doll that you
fucked over, is it? Robert the doll? Yeah. I'm not positive. It's not Robert that I did everything
possible. So Robert Lee frog. And went after sage with sage with you No, oh no, no, no, no, no, all right
She didn't go to to Key West and no, but I did tell her about Robert the doll though
She scoff at Robert when you told her like no, she thought it was cool because I bought like the little replica
And I set it up in the room that haunted doll room. So she thought it was cool. Oh, you have a doll
You have a Robert doll in your house right now, replica. Yeah.
I'd get rid of it, right? You're right. You're okay with a haunted doll room.
But that's the problem is just this one doll because the, I'm sure the rest of the
dolls were purchased online and they're probably, you know, a bunch of nonsense. But this
is like a bunch of living dead dolls.
Yeah, this is the re this is Robert the doll.
And the one you gave her that custom made one.
Yeah, that one definitely wasn't that she was haunted.
That was like gruesome.
So she said she, sorry, would you maybe think about getting rid of Robert the doll replica?
Even the replica may be causing this.
Where are you on here a few weeks back talking about how of Robert the doll replica even the replica may be causing this
Where'd you on here a few weeks back talking about how stupid Robert the doll was? Oh, absolutely I still maintain that but I want to see how far he'll he's willing to go
Well, I throw away $40 to rip myself up the curse
So so she said she had a black heart and then what? And the voice is told or two.
Did you ask her about it?
Yes.
What voices?
I did.
I said, okay, this is what you told them.
I was like, why did you say that?
And she goes, I didn't know what else to say.
Is it a song lyric possibly?
No, no, it's probably something she saw on YouTube.
She watches a fuck ton of YouTube videos.
She watches these spine ninjas, all kinds of other stuff
with bad guys.
And, yeah, I have to say, like, what a real,
like, universal human moment because like,
I've said so many stupid shit in my life
just because I didn't know what to say.
And I open my mouth and something dumb comes out.
So, you know, welcome to adulthood, Sage.
Right, yeah, she's almost 18, so she just got to be careful
because the next step was they're like,
we really like to see her to see a psychiatrist.
Oh.
And I'm like, that's when I was like,
I mean, she might need to see a shrink for other reasons.
You know, she's pretty imaginative.
She talks nonstop to herself.
But I told the lady, I was like,
look, I went to school in the 70s,
where teachers were fucking smackin' on students.
Like, I understand that this little girl would be upset
and it's not right to fucking shove her
and all that other shit.
But like, now it has to go into like,
she has to see a psychiatrist
because the letter said it's like she's said
that she wishes to harm people or herself.
Which, when they told me what she said, it didn't sound like that to me.
The voice is told her to give somebody a little shove because they didn't like her outfit.
It's like, can we take a step back? Like, I know. I know you have to be hypersensitive to what
people say in school, but this is a special needs kid. Like, can we all just fucking calm down
and realize that she was acting like a little bitch?
That's what it comes down to.
That's what it comes down to.
Wow.
When I was in college, they forced me to get a psychiatric
evaluation once after I got into a fight.
Oh, yeah.
Were you like all red faced and crying
and going crazy with during the fight?
Cause that's probably why.
I, like, I got into a fight with a drunk guy and I don't like I
in school in college.
Oh, in college.
In my dorm floor and I kind of blacked out.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you lived in a dorm
in college?
Yeah.
What?
Wait, wait, wait, wait, you lived in a dorm in college.
You lived in a dorm.
You moved into a dorm.
Yeah, two different dorms.
How the fuck have we never talked about this before?
I think we talked about this before.
Yeah, I think we talked about it years ago.
I thought.
Oh, wow.
I don't know why I didn't stick in my head.
Like, how long did you live there?
I lived in the one dorm for?
Like three quarters of a semester then I had to leave because my roommates were assholes
Never you
They forced open my fish tanky killed all my fish. Oh, that's okay. All right. That's all my laptop
Buddy, I'm sorry. Yeah, so then they moved me into a private dorm.
So, but I got into I got into a fight. I don't remember the whole fight.
So I told them that I blocked, I kind of blocked out during it.
Like I didn't remember all of it. And like, okay, yeah, you got to get a psychiatric
evaluation. Really? So yeah, I had to go to, uh, I had to go to the local hospital
get a psychiatric evaluation. Then I had to go see the school's counselor
for like half a semester.
Well, because you got into a fight with a drunk guy,
why were you the party, the party that had to suffer?
I think it was the black.
Yeah, because I said, like they, like what do you remember
the fight? I was like, I don't remember all of it.
I think I maybe kind of blacked out, you know,
like during it, like I remember,, let up to it and then afterwards,
but I really don't have much recollection
when I happen during the actual fight.
So yeah, but I think that's pretty standard for fights.
So I gotta remember every detail of every.
Yeah, that's what the, but that's,
that's what the school decided.
So did you go red faced and cry though?
Like, get him said he did.
Me?
I definitely have done it in my life, yeah.
Yeah, like when you're younger, get all up,
and then you don't work up.
Well, you know what it is, it's just that,
as you get older, you realize like,
was when you're a kid just that like,
fear of confrontation just builds up in you, right?
And you just explode.
And then all the emotions come out
and you start swinging a wild leaf.
Like Ralphie and a Christmas story.
Yeah, when he just. Yes, again.
But he just started going, yeah.
Now where are the other kid who got shoved,
was she special needs?
That they didn't specify.
So she-
I'm assuming probably.
She's in a classroom with non-special needs kids.
Sometimes.
Yeah, sometimes.
Usually she's with her class.
Sometimes she's with kids who aren't special needs.
And they're talking about moving her up of, because I think she's with her class. Sometimes she's with kids who aren't special needs and they're talking about moving her up of because I think she's too advanced for
The class she's currently in so they're talking about moving her up to a more mainstream
Type classroom setting
But I'm like at home. What do I do like because I didn't punish her anything. I was like would you do that for and she's like, I don't know
Like she got in school suspension. So like at home. Would was like, would you do that for? And she's like, I don't know.
Like she got in school suspension. So like at home, would you have punished one of the girls
if?
Wow.
I'm surprised though that they, they,
they hold you at the same standard.
So the same standard because that's a little much
because you would like, obviously she's,
she's, you know, she could be imagining anything, you know, and probably is at a time. So,
you had to hold her to the same, I guess in one way it's good, but in other way, well,
then if you're going to hold her, then they also have to take the same route of what they
have to do in that instance when a student tells them that then.
I guess, yeah, it's the same for everybody. Well they even said um
did they specify how hard the shove was? I don't think she shoved her to the ground. I think she just kind of pushed her. Yeah like it was like a shoulder shove or a double handed. I think she
I think it was just a single handed kind of push. I think there's where you have to address not
the not the telling of the I hear voices you know it's, you know, you can't just shove somebody
because you don't like their, their pants and, right, yeah, and their top. You know, you
have to kind of keep that to yourself and not let it become something that you would have
pushed somebody over.
Yeah. Well, the thing is too, it's like why, like, her history at school is one of like,
she's one of the sweetest
kind, most kind, hard-hearted kids ever. So when she says shit like this, it's like how
are you taking her seriously? You know she doesn't have a black heart. Like you know she doesn't.
Like all I get are notes home about how great she is, how sweet she is, how nice she is,
how cooperative she is, all these things. She says one little thing, they're like, uh-oh. But again, it's going back, though. I think we're over glossing over the push and
and actually saying that loud that she doesn't like someone's outfit, though. That's where you have
to come in and do some some some daddying and figure out a way to make her not do that again.
Right. Or to figure out or at least you know she can't
Speak that out loud. She's usually like what she does things
It usually if just my disappointment is enough. I don't have to like
Take away the iPad or any other stuff. I'm just like, why would you do that? Like why would you do that to another little girl
That's being a bully like that's what I was saying to her, you know
So I sort of dressed her down for it, but I was like, just don't do it again, okay?
And certainly don't say stuff like that,
because it causes a whole host of problems.
Cause now it went from like,
oh, they're doing the,
they're gonna do the psychiatric evaluation to like,
now I have to fucking set it up.
Now I have to do all this.
Oh, they're actually falling through with it.
Well, only if I wanted to.
I could have said no.
The other thing they did was like, I gotta, again,, this is one of those things where it's like, well,
if it's good for the goose, it's good for the gender type situations where she goes to
this thing after school called friendship club, and it's like the mainstream normal students
hang out with some of the students hang out with special needs students, and they help
them do arts and crafts and stuff like that for like an hour after class
after school and
I got a letter home saying that she had to submit to random drug tests
And I guess it's it was a rule for anybody who
Anybody who takes part in these like anything extra curricular whether it be
basketball football friendship club glee club any of these things
you have to sign a piece of paper that you'll be randomly drug tested
that's what i said to the teacher i i was like this is silly i was like i don't
i don't want to she's not gonna understand guess what she's not on drugs
uh... if there any drugs in that house, I'm taking them.
I'd be pissed if she told them.
Well, maybe she's taking performance enhancing drugs for art.
Yeah, she's like, well, yeah, look how good she is.
I cut out these paper dolls and that's that's a legal that that's a legal
thing that you could do if you want to participate in extra curricular activities.
You have to submit a random drug test. Forced to be, yes, forced.
So I was like, she can't be in it.
And she wants to be in it.
So I'm like fine.
And the teachers like, look, they're never going to test her.
Guess who came up first?
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
But I can't remember if this is pre-repost-hobbered at all? uh... i believe she passed yeah flying colors shockingly
uh...
i guess Robert the dog might be behind all this bro i think it's time to
i think we want more could i have done though q like you know the deal like i
did everything i was supposed to
don't buy a replica don't buy the replica yeah
well then you brought it up on a comedy podcast so i think maybe maybe he's feeling disrespected. Yeah, I got to write a letter now
Oh me and get him were just talking about our type writers. Yeah, we both have type writers
And I'm like I wish I had somebody to like type a letter to who I know would respond to me
Write me a letter anytime you want pal. I think I'm gonna write you a letter. I'm gonna write you a letter and Robert
I think rock the fact that you pulled out the paper and typed away, you know, fix any mistakes you make,
I think that really means something.
Mean something more to Robert.
It's like it's not handwritten,
so he doesn't have to like try to read your chicken scratch.
You know, he appreciates the level between computer
and handwriting.
Oh, you think you think Robert actually,
you think he reads the letters?
They're not, it's not just the fact that the letter comes.
He actually takes the time to peruse like Santa Claus
every letter.
I like to believe that the curators hold the letter up to Robert.
Like for at least a second so that he can read it to him.
I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna go that far, but okay.
All right.
Okay, we get one of Robert's keepers on the show one time.
I think my call in.
I think they might call down there.
I'm like, look, we do a podcast.
We're really interested in Robert.
If you have any spare time, like you know,
in extra 10 minutes to talk about Robert, it would be great.
Do you really want to be cool?
Yeah.
You really want to poke that tiger?
That's a good point.
He's paid in the price for me.
She wasn't even there.
Maybe, maybe they could do it on speakerphone next to Robert and you could apologize.
I apologize.
Robert.
Yeah.
About how started.
We, I, man, I used to like me and Moser used to write letters to each other.
Me and my friend, Justin, on Stan Island, we used to write letters like type letters and mail to each other.
It was fun, man. I was like 10 years ago at this point, but it was fun. I think
we should get back into that.
It was good. I used to type to Mosier too. Yeah. It's a typing circle. Hey, how you doing?
Just like a little update, little newsletter. Yeah. I remember I could text this to you,
but I typed your roast when we did your roast at the stash. Oh yeah. I was in the back
clacking away and walked like wandered in the back and he thought I had like an app that was making
typing noises and he couldn't actually believe I had a typewriter out. To to be fair if I walked
into a back room and found you hitting a typing app I would would not be surprised at all. I'd be like,
yeah, that makes sense, but that's just me. I have some family over my house, which is
kind of why I couldn't come down today. And I watched my nephew in a track meet today,
run a four minute and 42 second mile. Wow. I don't think I could like a four minute
42 second. I could not fucking believe what I was seeing. I even know that humans could
run like like that fast. What's the record? Get him. Look it up. Fastest mile run. Wow.
Four minutes. That's pretty good. How was he got to see like a skinny as a rail?
He's you know, he sees a young yeah, he's a teenager. So he's he works out constantly. He only does his train for this He loves this. Well those guys that like do this speedrunning in the Olympics
They're really built right like that Michael Johnson guy like wasn't he like fucking huge enough?
They can wear those guys like those Zimbabwe guys
That's all the marathon goes guys, you know, they, like they can run from morning till till night and they need to get tired of everything. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
he's not Zimbabwe. He's half Japanese, so maybe that, you know, used to running from Godzilla
type thing, you know what I mean? Just put something in the thing. So yeah, I could not,
God, give it get him. Fastest mile, mile three minutes 43 seconds. Wow. He's not
far off. Yeah, he's less than a minute off of the fastest on record on the planet world record.
Boys, how can we monetize this? How can I make money off this?
How does Uncle Brian went his beat on this?
I mean I could have but he he lapt, he lapt other kids.
Like, I felt bad for the other kids in the race.
It was pretty incredible.
That's a fast motherfucker right there.
I always wanted to be fast.
My friend, Chris Oxy, remember him?
Chris Oxy was in elementary school.
He was really fast.
And I'm like the complete opposite of that.
Like I got like, I got like, like duck duck feet so like when I run like my legs kick out and shit. I look all stupid
You know can't run fast. What's your gift? It would hide though
That's true now you can't see my bald spot. So God was looking out for me
There was a kid and who ran three minutes four minutes 38 seconds
Jesus like he was a second. I could, I felt so old.
That I'm still kind of shaking it off. Like I got to, when I graduated the academy, I ran like a
nine minute mile and I thought I was Superman. I'm 30 minutes and now I'm just like I'm just a
piece of shit. I'm just a fat old. Oh, dude, Oh dude, if you trained, you could get down to that same time as your nephew.
You gave yourself a year.
You could.
Absolutely you could.
Oh, fucking way.
Yeah, so just take some training.
I'm telling you, man.
It would take a lot of training, but you could do it.
You could do it.
You could get in that window.
Absolutely you could. Absolutely, you could.
But do you know that he's fast to begin with?
Because I was on cross country for a season.
And I think my fastest mile, this is when I'm young and
spy in agile, was probably around seven minutes.
That's pretty slow.
I walked a mile in 18 minutes.
OK, that's just walking at his normal pace.
So if you tell you shave your head, your eyebrows, to get that rid of that go T, all your
body here.
That's resistance.
Like we're shooting.
You want to borrow our green shirt?
You're going completely hairless.
That's how you monetize it.
A pay-per-view special, like, and you race your nephew. Yeah, it's enough you. Yeah.
You built a hype for a year that you're going to beat your nephew.
You're going to beat his time or at least, you know, tie his time and that's the only way I could
see you monetizing it now. It's just building the hype that you're going to do it and you're
in training for it.
Like real wrestling style, like,
I'm gonna tear him apart.
I'm gonna rip up the asphalt.
He's gonna be eating my dust.
Montage me running through a statin' island
all a rocky theme, yeah, for sure.
I don't even know if I could do a 10 minute myelons.
When's the last time you just out and out, just sprinted.
For me, it's got to be
fucking 20 to 30 years since you just absolutely sprinted from like one spot to another just sprinting It's I can honestly say I don't even remember the
Had to be with the fire to park
You know 10 years ago, 10, 10, 15 years ago, maybe I had to.
But you're sprinting to mile now?
Like sprinting away, but you could run a mile, yeah.
I don't know if I could run a mile.
You could walk a mile, you could run a mile.
I could walk a mile, yeah.
You could run it.
You mean, you're not going to be like,
it's not going to be, it's probably going to be
in the 20 minute range, but so what?
But then you, the next day, and you keep doing it,
and you shave seconds, and and start to shave minutes and eyebrows
I was walking I was like down to a 12 minute mile
Yeah, yeah, it's yeah, it can't be done, but then you're, but then you gotta have your butt cheeks real tight
And you do that weird, you're fast walking see those power walking
Nobody want to see that get them like slow down, but I don't know fucking puke walk around the puzzle.
I remember butt cheeks.
I remember the year I won the marathon at my summer camp for my age group.
And it was only because I was the only one of that age at the summer camp that year.
So they still went ahead with the fucking race, even though you're really one racing
against yourself?
Well, no, everyone started off at the same time. It was just done by each group.
Oh, okay.
So because my birthday was so close to when camp started, they allowed me to,
the, I was like, cut off of 15.
They allowed me to do it at 16.
So, but I had one of the, I had really good and shaped guy walking with me.
And he was, he, he said he goes, he was walking, he was walking,
real, real, real fast.
Like, it was, it was a little hard for me to keep up with him walking.
Like I almost had a jog to keep up with him.
So I took that.
This is your 12 minute walking mile?
No, this is what I was doing 12 minute walking
is when I used to walk every night.
I walked five nights a week.
That's when he burned all the fat and everything.
He looked like he looked like he he looked like filled off you
I remember yeah, I
When Windorf said
Windorf said he imagined this is way back. I think when it was Windows first appearance on the show
He goes he imagines get him walking concentric circles in his room
Wait, yeah, it sounds about right that line always stuck with me
Pretty funny. Do you think that just to jump back to the SAID situation,
how much worse is it if the fashion police, right?
She pushed over a girl that was either wearing a black lives matter t-shirt
or like an Israel, like a pro-Israel t-shirt.
Like if she pushed a little statement.
Like, and then she pushed it over.
Is it a much bigger deal? I would hope that they would have statement. Yeah, like, like, and then she pushed it on me.
Is it a much bigger deal?
I would hope that they would have the ability to say like,
she can't read.
So it doesn't sound like it.
It sounds like they're holding her feet to the fire, man.
Yeah, yeah.
They are holding her up to a standard
that I think might be a little high.
She just does like an anti-semetic.
Is that? Yeah, she pushed it anyway. She just does like an anti-similar. Is that?
Yeah, she should push it anyway.
Rainbow flag, she pushed them.
Is it a zero tolerance thing you think or?
Could be.
Well, I think it's zero tolerance for anybody
who's like, hey, I might hurt myself or I might hurt somebody else.
They're like, boom, they got to be on it.
Otherwise, everybody gets fucked in the end.
Students.
I feel like,
like a CYA type thing of,
if anything did happen in the future,
we addressed it that one time.
Right.
Yeah.
Like I said, I feel like if I have a dead sprint
as far as as fast as I can go,
I would hurt myself, right?
Probably.
At this age?
You have to do it slowly,
yeah. And start training
to get like really to go out on all out sprints. It would probably take you like a day or two
to catch up to you. Like when you like sometimes like when I roll my ankle or something
it takes like a day or two before I feel it. I just you know what I need. Walt I need
you like at the end of my Tyson's punch out on the bike in front of me, riding in front of me.
I'll chase after you.
It could be my trainer.
If we can get me to a 10 minute mile, I'd be pretty happy.
It's got to be doable, right?
Oh, I absolutely.
10 minutes.
I think that is so doable.
I think you get that you can get that by the end of January.
And that's a walk in a park, 10 minutes.
10 minutes, right?
No big deal.
No big deal.
No big deal.
I mean, that's not even sprinting at all probably.
I know a girl who's been training for some time, and she just ran a 9 minute mile.
Yeah, she's a girl though.
Yeah, that's what I took into account.
That's pretty.
It's like what a loser.
Yeah.
Would you shave your hair? Yeah, when I did the Academy, we did a not, yeah, when I did the academy we did a we chopped out in nine minutes, but like we had to do it on their 10 like that was the graduating thing
So once we knew we were gonna make it we started fucking around and stuff pushing each other and shit
So I don't even know maybe I could have done like an eight and a half minute mile or an eight minute mile
I would feel pretty good if I had that on my record
Where you in or is this all of minute mile or an eight minute mile. I would feel pretty good if I had that on my record.
Where you in or is this all of this pathetic? Is is an eight minute mile pathetic?
No, it's not going to see that.
Not at all.
No.
Did you have they did you have the fire gear on?
No, no, this was just a P.E.
Yeah, just running just shorts and a t-shirt.
Not necessarily a t-shirt.
Yeah.
Sorry. All right. I mean, you know felt it was in it just in a room. It was a track meet and it was just
20 different high school so you're just in this room of youth running without a care in the world and you
Just made me feel real bad about myself. Oh was indoors
Yeah, yeah, well, yeah, they do it outdoors now. It's like 40 degrees out of whatever
doors yeah yeah well yeah they do it outdoors now it's like 40 degrees out of whatever so like a whole track meet could he have been doing any track and field
event and that would have made you feel the swayers at just running you like if
he went to java land or something real far would you be like fuck him
hmm his buddy did shot put and he threw it pretty far but I never felt like no
I think it's the running.
I think it's the fleet of foot
because there's something about how, you know,
just running that fast, like an animal, you know what I mean?
It's something, this is the cool.
Yeah, like a deer, a gazelle.
And it's a stain, so you see it keep going.
It's not like, you know, the shot put it's over like a second.
Like this, you just see, like, he's still running.
And look how far he's going.
I'm gonna run. I'm gonna run, I'm gonna run, I'm gonna run.
You're not gonna run.
I'm outta here guys.
You're not gonna run.
I don't think you're gonna run.
You were born to run.
I think this conversation is like when we tell Gidom,
like, hey, this is what you gotta do, A, B, and C,
and you can see in his face, there's no goddamn way
he's gonna do it.
No way you're gonna train for an eight minute mile.
No way.
I'm doing, I'm gonna do, No way. I'm doing I'm gonna do
What is a 3k? I'm gonna do a 3k. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I'm gonna do one because of this conversation running or walking or just do the
No running okay running. What's that? What's 3k again? I'm two miles?
A mile four miles 10
Alright
Yeah, I thought 3k was like just a little little bit shire a little bit better than three miles 1.86 miles
Oh, wow, that's three K. That's not too far. Yeah, I could do that. That's like less than 20 minutes a run
If I do it right it's less than 15 minutes a running you know what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah
So five K's just over three miles
Yeah, yeah
So five case just over three miles
Five K. Yes, five K. Oh wait five K's whatever he does right five K's what people do yeah, so five cases number three miles
I'm gonna do a five K. It's coming
Do a charity
Get him we know I'm not doing a five K. Where's he he going what's going on with this guy? I don't know
No, he's going in his bag
You brought up Godzilla
Yeah, you saw Godzilla minus one. Yeah, then I've gotten so many emails and
Requests to talk about my thoughts on the new Godzilla
Okay, give it to us did anybody see it? No, right? You should not see it. I didn't get a chance to go. I wanted to go. And then I was like,
fuck, so should we wait? Should we all go see it? And the next time we get together,
we talk about it. Are you guys going to go see it? I'll go see if you want to talk
about it. I'll go see it. Five people run or go see Godzilla.
All right. I'll hold off. It's good. It's worth it. Yeah. Yeah.
That's wonderful. A while. Yeah. It's the. It's good. It's good. Yeah. Yeah. That's one while. Yeah. It's the like I know Monarch is on too. I don't know if you guys been watching that the Apple series with Kurt
Russell. Yeah. I've been watching it. You didn't like it. I'm not loving it. I come.
I find the dialogue to be I find like what they care about the human interest stuff doesn't interest me at all.
I don't care about the father, I just don't care about any of it.
I just want to see monsters and they keep like cutting to these like weepy moments between two characters.
I don't care about, and I'm like, I just don't care about any of this. Okay, yeah, I didn't think it was terrible, but I think that legendary, I think
that's the company that's making the New Godzilla American Godzilla movies. Yeah, when
they see how people have like, you know, applauded this Godzilla minus one, they have to be
shaking their boots right now in terms of like when they release that next Kong
Godzilla movie and it's gonna be it's gonna be a fucking
The exact opposite in tone and direction of Godzilla minus one and people are gonna be like
You know Disney's gonna be laughing like you fucked up
like you fucked up. This is what you could have.
That's what you're getting.
Yeah, all right, so we'll wait on Godzilla.
Yeah, I'll definitely go see him.
Okay.
For sure.
Another big thing that happened, Q was involved in something scandalous.
Me?
Yeah.
Oh, I saw this.
That's right.
Yeah. Oh, I saw this. That's right. Yeah. Big video. I would like to put the video on
on Twitter for the next or X or whatever you want to call it for the next.
The time the show dropped. Oh, I'll just smack my lips. I got a lip smack. A problem too.
What were we talking about? Oh, yes., you're uh, you're catfishing.
Yeah, I do.
I was sent a video by Chris Ladondo,
he was like, this is unbelievable.
Hahaha.
Yeah, I had a bunch of, I had a bunch of friends
send it to me with a mocking, mocking text
every single one.
Yeah, when we got catfished, you saw this Walt Disney.
I saw this, yes. Uh, when woman got catfished. You saw this wall to see. I saw this, yes.
A woman got catfished and somebody claiming to be on me online seduced her at a $13,000 that she stole
from her husband's account. Yeah. She was having problems with her husband, I guess initially.
Which I gotta say seems to be like, you know, I've gone on several of these cruises.
It seems to be a common theme that like these older women
are like real into the jokers.
I think they either want to fuck them
or take care of them.
One of the two.
They want to mommy them or they want to bang them.
Or maybe both. I'm not even sure.
That's the best of both worlds.
Yeah, every guy has started to, right?
You could get that.
But not in the body.
You can't wait to get on this boat. But it's not in the body of like, you know, a woman 20 years
your senior maybe like, forget him. I mean, not forget him for, for a cue. This woman was
about like what 65 or so. And it seemed like her life was just fucking empty. And she and she discovers the jokers and then she gets totally into the jokers specifically Q
and eventually somebody just contacts her out of nowhere right with with Keisha
picture. They make these fake accounts. I don't know why I get it more than the
other guys do but they make these these fake accounts and they reach out to
people and it has, people
have shown up at like my house and been like, we were talking online, where, why didn't you
show up at the airport to meet me? Like, it's been a thing. I don't know how, I so much
so that I've gone online on Twitter and been like, look, like, I don't talk to anybody
online. If somebody's telling you they're me, it's not me.
Like, I've probably done that over the past like four years,
like three times, and been like, look, you just,
and it just doesn't appear to make a difference.
But, I don't know, I felt bad for her.
I felt more bad for her husband.
I mean, you could see at the end.
I didn't feel bad for her at all.
She seemed like a garbage person.
Yeah, put like,
Just because of her Magahat.
Yeah. Oh, the Magah because of her mega hat. Yeah.
Oh, the mega hat was funny, man.
I was like, I was like, why do you gotta be wearing a fucking
mega hat?
Like, how am I getting dragged into all this?
I have nothing to do with any of this.
The best part is, it's everything is juxtaposed with that
photo of your smiling face.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, this is the tax
And you know, she's like says something horrible and it just cuts to you smiling
That did the picture so the way they go ahead I
Said the part that really fucking made salaf was like when I said I had a private jet
It's like I'll fly down in a private jet baby and pick you up.
I look, I know she did not do the right thing,
but we all don't do the right thing from time to time.
You know what I mean?
We've all been bad people from time to time, I guess, you know?
But like her face at the end when they proved without a doubt
that it wasn't me, I felt so bad.
I was like, that is a woman who just realized she fucked up so badly and she goes
Yeah, I guess I fucked up my life and I was like oh man. I don't want to be involved in any of this you could probably fix it
Give her the 13 grand. Yeah rich boy
Recool per the 13 grand. Oh, that
I mean that means a terrorist win
Cue losers
and he loses your key. And it's funny because it's some guy in the middle of the fucking wherever they are.
And they don't speak a good English.
So the text for me, we're all misspelled and kind of fucked up.
And then she goes on the camera and goes, yeah, but on TV, he doesn't speak so good or
something like that.
I think she said he has trouble with some words.
That may be laugh out loud when I was watching it.
She goes, and I figured, you know, it's probably like the New York accent.
But what's crazier about that is the people on the podcast who are interviewing this woman.
Don't question it.
They're like, okay, not like, well, what do you mean?
Like you're saying
that his accent translates to misspelled and broken English.
Well, they stood up from there like he's an educated person, so he probably doesn't misspell
things like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were giving you a lot of credit. You're
educated and accomplished and all that stuff. But I've read that, that is a, it's a common
thing because if you can look past the misspellings,
you're more than likely to be scammed.
So like that's why.
Right, they do it on purpose.
Yeah, so like, oh, if they're okay with me,
not speaking correctly, then they'll probably fall
for something else.
Yeah, she got catfish by me.
I thought it was funny, like Boris is in the video.
There's a picture of Boris. My cousins are in the video with me. I thought it was funny like Boris is in the video. There's a picture of Boris my cousins are in the video with me
I sent it to my cousins. I was like check it out boys. You famous. Oh, I felt so bad. I don't know
She wants she wanted to believe it so desperately like like the Channing Tatum thing
You know she and you're like you got to be baby. And like you holding up a sign that is obviously,
obviously said something else.
Like is that the biggest mistake
your life holding up that sign so people could write
in whatever the fuck it was?
That was a fucking AMA thing I did like 10 years ago.
And I'm like, motherfucker.
And then like, that was the only proof.
Because they wrote her name on the sign,
whatever her name was, like all of my friends like know her name because it was on only proof. Because they wrote her name on the sign, whatever her name was, like,
all of my friends like know her name
because it was on the sign.
So they just, I forget a name,
Terry, whatever they like.
Terry, Sherry, what ever they like,
has Sherry doing it.
I'm like, I don't know.
I'm just getting all these texts.
Because everybody I know is a ballbuster, right?
Of course, so it's like, it's all I'm hearing.
I feel she had listened to more TSD. She would have seen through this scam because she would
know that he doesn't have a private jet but he will pay the extra money to get upgraded
to first class. Yeah or at least I like rooms. Sometimes. Yeah. Last time I flew to LA
the first class ticket was twice as much so I I full-steer it. So I'm definitely not doing private planes.
The only time I was, you know, the whole time watching, I'm like,
complete and utter bullshit.
But then when she said, though, that you told her that you had tax problems,
I was like, oh, shit.
Is there a chance this could be sure this could be you?
chance this could be sure this could be you
Yeah, I look like $800,000 in taxes and I need 13 grand for her. I feel bad. I don't
Dude like it's very weird to be me in this position like I like when I was watching that video
I was like I it you I felt responsible even though I'm not, like I felt bad even though I,
it was like, it was such a bizarre feeling
to be in my shoes and that while I was watching that.
And then all my friends made a fun of me,
like kind of made it better, you know what I mean?
A little bit.
But it was weird, it was a weird thing.
I felt really, like I don't want people using my
like my face to rip off ladies like that's horrible.
But you supposedly also censor 162,000 dollars extra. See that part I believe though because I think what they were doing was they were and it makes it so much more believable yeah to longer the money. Yeah. So you can see how a person who's like maybe a little boomerish might be like well if he's giving me interesting me with all this money. So you can see how a person who's like maybe a little boomerish might be like,
well, if he's given me, entrusting me with all this money, then surely this is real.
Yeah. But it's just like, like if suddenly somebody out of, out of nowhere, like, you know,
like suddenly John five contacts me or some celebrity that I'm a fan of, and they're like, you know, like suddenly John V contacts me or some celebrity that I'm a fan of.
And they're like, hey, man, can you put all this money into your bank account?
And then fucking redistributed to these people.
I'd be like, um, is this real John V?
Although I can see like, look, if Pam got a fucking message from Josh Groban,
I can't say 100% that she wouldn't be stealing 13 grand from Edgar.
It's yeah, I can't say for sure. She got being before with the fuck contacts people in the green dot cards.
Yeah, I like it. Years ago. I know somebody with Google play cards. Google play. Yeah.
But that was because it was the, it was the like a, like a almost a perfect scenario where they had gotten a letter from the IRS recently.
So like the same thing with my mother's they actually did have some tax issues. Yeah.
Yeah. When the tax people called up, she got all scared. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
But you can find that information. That's public information. So like if you have a lean or you have that kind of thing like people can look that up and then go from there and then the
Oh, yeah, cuz and then the spoofing of phone numbers
Yeah, it's just so you can't believe shit people
And the scenario I know up they were on the phone
They went to the police station while the scammers were on the phone hand the phone over to the cops and they were scammers
We're telling the cops that they were the police
You know the only celebrity you should believe if they're asking for money is Walt Flanagan and that's to join Patreon. Yeah, join that Patreon. Get up there. Why don't you?
Where you get the Christmas episodes. Christmas episodes. You get to TST Christmas. She
get the Sunday Jeff Christmas. You get the Frank, it's all about Frank Christmas special.
Am I missing anything?
Yeah, just too many to list, get them.
Too many Christmas specials.
All available on Patreon, starts at $5.
If she didn't rip off her husband,
I probably would have attempted to try
and raise the money for her or give her some money.
But the fact that she ripped off her husband for it is like, you can't really, you don't
want to be the guy that rushes.
I get it.
You don't want to part with your own money.
Yeah.
That's the exact same way.
I felt bad for her.
It was like, but she's like, you can't get it up and shit like that.
That's when she really lost me when she started like exposing her husband
He was looking at her gonna have to pour that's what I said. He was looking at porno. So I don't I don't think it's
Sometimes
You gotta out there
Oh my favorite part of it was like and I keep sending there's like a screen cap where it's like a picture of me smiling with that dopey
Fucking look up my face and next to it and says my managers are so annoying
My managers read my texts and read my
Monitor my phone calls and and keep an eye on my bank account and read my emails and
And
I'm like in what a world in my with that happens I keep sending that to my managers
now I'm like you guys are so annoying but it was it was horrible it actually like my first
reaction was it like this is funny my first reaction was like oh this is I feel really
bad that I'm involved in this in any way shape or form like that was my first reaction
but then you know after a full 48 hours of people doing nothing but making fun of me for it, I started to see, you know,
the humor in a little bit.
But I just feel you see her face at the end, man.
And it's like, they were trying to be delicate.
But yeah, and like, you just can't come out right
and say you're an idiot.
You're an idiot.
I know, I know.
What's the cutoff age where people are aware
that this cutoff should is going on?
Like I guess there is no cutoff age
because the show catfish shows
that tons of people get catfished.
Like young people.
Yeah, but there's something about the financial,
yeah, I guess you're right,
because I know a girl that gave like 10 grand
to some guy at the fuck country was he in to have him come here to meet after talking online for like a year and
and
She did not ever see that money again, and she never met the dude. Oh, she's like in her 30s
So I think people's hearts just get that you get caught up as I guess
You get caught up in it like if guess. You get caught up in it.
Like if you're, like you got to sit thing, like,
yes, is that lady,
share your whatever name is,
is she gullible, is she a dummy, sure?
But primarily, she's probably lonely.
And that's why she attaches herself to the jokers and.
Channetate them.
Well, no, she attaches, that was the joker because.
Because the high quality programming.
That is, high quality entertainment good guys
Non-threatening gentlemen, you know what I mean like that's why it's funny stuff
Yeah, why do you think it is why do you think it is cute? Like why not married? Does Murna look as trustworthy?
Does he look to I'm sure he's got his strictly his share of people trying to scam in his name as well probably
Because Murray's married, you know what I mean? And like hmm of people trying to scam in his name as well probably.
Because Murray's married, you know what I mean?
And like he's so publicly like with Melissa all the time.
I don't know, I don't know.
But I wish it would stop, I wish they do it all the time.
Like I have to tell Twitter to take down these accounts
and stuff like that all the time,
because people are like,
when that woman showed up my house, I never talked about it on the air, but I
felt like that was when I was like, this is getting out of control because she was just
like, is he home? I know he's home. We were supposed to meet at the airport.
Is this your new place here?
This is your old place.
Old place.
This is one of the things that I was like, oh, time to go. Yeah, but like at the, you know, just, there's the scary part of seeing it happen
and being involved, even, you know, in the tangent of them using my face, but then there's
that thing of like, I just feel so bad for them that I, I, I wanted to stop, make it stop,
Brian, make it stop. I need need I need sage to go around and push
on people. Yeah, discipline a couple people. Yeah, it was freaky. So that's that's the
latest. So look on those Sanctity. Yeah, yeah, he sent it to me. Troy. He was laughing.
That's that's one of the things that I realized it wasn't you
because you were like come to New York and live in my mansion and I was like you would
never call it New York. It's Staten Island forever. I would have called my house a mansion
either. Don't have a private jet. All these things. I want to be this version of me actually
seducing some older ladies for like a you know it sounds nice.
Why not? Yeah, they're sending you 13 grand to help with your quote unquote taxes, you know.
Yeah, they're keeping my annoying managers off like that.
Helping you buy crypto. Oh my god, it's a crypto scam. It's insane. I just feel so bad for
Laugh. You almost like want to get her on tell them Steve Dave and just be like,
I don't think it would be that difficult. You's, you almost like want to get her on tell him, Steve Dave, and just be like,
I don't think it would be that difficult.
You know, think so.
No, I think if you want me to look into it, no, I do not.
Okay.
I don't want to be involved.
All right.
In the front page of the Asperer Park Press,
that someone who just got busted for the, for the grandmother scam.
What's the grandmother's?
Uh, they call up and pretend that it's your grant, uh, they're representing your
grandchild and they've been arrested
And you got to send a money order or something to get them out of jail
We really got to luck out and get the right person that has a grandchild because if they called one of us
True, but I I used to listen to a podcast and
The host was reading a story about this kind of stuff and he didn't believe it and
He just went through the phone book found something with an old sounding name.
I think it was like Dolores or something
and called it up with the, you know, the good,
a mask number and the old lady answered the phone.
He's like, hey, grandma, and she's like,
who is this?
It's like, it's your favorite grandson
and she just instantly gives out a name.
And it's like, that's how easy's how easy it is to start getting this information
for these people. Then if they believe it's you, then yeah, I'm in trouble. I got to do
something I shouldn't have done and I need bail to get bailed out. It's crazy.
Maybe that's what's going on with you in sage at school, Brian. This is a start of a Of a scam of some sort you think so they're trying to scam me
I forgot about I forgot about the whole thing with that woman until you brought it up and now my mind's like kind of going again
Look at it. It's happening every day to tons of people
They just you know, there's nothing you can do about it. They stole your image
Should be hunting down this.
Right, I'm the fucking real victim here.
I am the victim here.
Has anyone here ever watched the videos
where they scam the scammers?
Oh yeah, they're so long though,
they're fun to watch,
but it's like,
what does this have to be an hour and 20 minutes?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can't you just like distill it down to the very like,
to the best part?
Yeah, well you can usually usually if you're watching on YouTube
There's like a graph at the bottom. Oh that shows like where the most replay. Yeah. Yeah. Oh like when the end when they make when they want them to
To give them gift cards and they redeem the gift cards and like no you cannot
Yeah, they got very what would you guys? What's your reaction if it was me?
If what's like I was talking to the woman like that and I did scammer her out of 13
grand. What's this episode look like if I get arrested?
You get arrested. I need look, I'm not holding it against you. You're my boy.
Yeah, but we got to talk about it. We got to figure out like, dude, what the fuck?
Why are you giving her hundreds of thousands of dollars to convert to crypto?
Like, what are you in on? And why am I going to tax problems, man? I got tax problems.
Now you guys know why he taxes so fucking much. They got me over a barrel.
You're going mad at me. And the first thing I do is I call sexy lawyer and I'm like we
we need your help and you know then probably you got to meet with him so he gets
he gets a win out of it now he gets to meet with sexy lawyer who know oh he's
coming in January is he gonna come by he's? Yeah, he's come to these two studios.
Well, that's right, we're saying that.
You were saying that you're concerned
that maybe you guys oversold them even.
No.
No?
Oh, you're saying no, get them.
No.
All right.
Yeah, he's gonna come into the studio
and do an episode of TSD.
It's like chisel marble.
But that's the first thing I do.
If I find out though that you just got arrested
for scamming old ladies, I would call him.
I don't know, you know, I'm pretty, but probably have to recommend. I got criminal lawyer.
I got my uncle who got my father off murder charges. He's still practicing. Yeah, but
he couldn't get you out of a parking ticket as I recall his last case. It's moving violation.
Yeah, but I need a better, I'm gonna need a better lawyer than that. Well, I see. I got
to figure that in practical joker's ends, right? In practical jokers is out. Well, I see. And how old is he? I got to figure that in practical jokers ends, right?
In practical jokers is old.
Yeah, that would probably be.
Just tell him, Steve Dave, continue after a brief hiatus.
Absolutely.
I think you could overcome that.
You could bounce back.
Yeah.
It's like, you know, a lot of apologies, apology tour.
Go to rehab for something.
We've got to return the money and then some with interest
Yeah, maybe marry maybe marry the the woman you scammed. I was gonna suggest a college
I'm making our non-us woman
He's so he's just scamming one person. I think he's probably scaming a bunch. Oh, you think that's not the only lady
Oh, yeah, I think if you've got to come clean and tell us the truth if it's just one or there's a harem of blue haired ampies that you've got on the goal. Well my
thing is like they're going to be dead soon anyway. I'm on his got to go somewhere. Why
not give a little thrill on the way out the door, you know? I, yeah, I don't know how we could address it.
I mean, obviously, I think we'd address it privately first and then come up with a plan
for the show.
But I'm like, dude, what the?
I don't know, dude, I get lonely sometimes and I was just in my house with the computer
and she reached out to me and I just felt there was something there at first and then
Tell me you really felt that you were like this old lady
I'm like just skip the bullshit just tell me really why
She was interested in me not the famous me me myself
Yeah, yeah, and no one else. No one else has done that
himself. She's not the same. Yeah. And no one else, no one else has done that.
Yeah. And I think the scammer me had like, I let the scammer me had like, he'd used harder emojis and shit like that, which I am so against. That's that's how anybody could tell
it's not me. But I was, uh, yeah, man, it was something. But I don't know, I kind of want to,
could do I have the freedom now to go on the cover and scam people because now nobody Don't think it's me. Yeah, right
It's got a point and now you know all the tricks too because you can find out what you you heard what the scammer did
So that they should they proved it wasn't you so you got to get a Google voice number you got to uh, you know talk not so good and
I think the sad thing is even though there's probably a lot of IJ viewers who
watched that video if you were to show up or somebody was to contact them I
still think that they would still be like even though they would against better
judgment they'd be like it might really be be cute. Right. Yeah. There's that level of desperation out there that
might they overlook it. So yeah, I'm sure you could make a healthy run before you get caught.
Before you before you're on a plane to Brazil, wherever wherever they go and hide. His private jet.
Rio de Janeiro.
Like a Nazi on the run.
They hang it out in Brazil.
Two cases with little dollar bills sticking out of the edges.
Oh my god.
Holy shit.
Hey, how many people I meant to ask this last week because the crew is coming up.
How many people from Tellum's Steve Dave Town are coming? Because it seems like an impressive, like we're going to have to last week because the crew's coming up. How many people from Tell Him Seve,
Dave Town are coming?
Because it seems like an impressive,
like we're gonna have to do something on the boat,
which is Tell Him Seve.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
Cause now you tell me,
do you mean the hair guys coming?
Do you mean the hair guys coming?
Floyd's coming, Ming is coming.
Who else do we go?
I mean, I saw it from all the ants, of course,
which there are two.
Yeah, yeah.
It seemed like there were a bunch coming, but it's just pretty cool.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're gonna get your fill, man.
You're gonna get your fill on this cruise of Tellum's Steve Dave, people for sure.
Do you mean the hair guy told me he's gonna hang around with me constantly, because he's
all nervous and shit.
What's your nervous about?
Why?
I think meeting people like Steve O. and uh...
Steve O's gonna be there?
Yeah. Oh well. Steve O's gonna be there? Yeah.
Oh, well.
Yeah, Steve O's gonna be on the boat.
Oh, yeah.
No, he won't be following you.
I'm so as he meets Steve O.
Yeah, why do Steve O.
My friends, I mean, yeah, then.
Why does Jimmy the hair guy think he's gonna meet Steve O?
I think I could, I told him people usually meet everybody
on the boat anyway, so.
Jimmy the hair guy, yeah.
Oh, I think Steve O's gonna be sequestered.
Uh oh, Jimmy the hair guy. This might be something
that I don't know. Oh shit. Fuck. If you could, but if you could facilitate that cue, he
is a massive Jackass fan. Yeah. Oh my god. He was showing us his collection of T shirts.
Yeah. He's just Jackass T shirts. He has. He's a fanatic. Oh, I got to make a mark on that.
It's his favorite form of entertainment,
even more so than the clown posse and TSD.
Collecting hair.
Wow, well, I love, all right, I'll make it happen
for Jimmy the hair guy.
I just did him dirty recently.
You did.
Oh, did, yeah.
I did him really dirty.
I sent him $165,000 and told the put it into his bank account and did distribute it.
Maybe the hair guy's investing in Kruger hands right now.
We recorded something the other day where I kind of broke his heart a little bit.
So you can make up for a little bit if you can get him a sit down with Steve O.
Like only an hour or two.
I'll make it happen.
I'll make it happen. That's going to happen. I got
I owed you the air guy something after what I did to him the other day. I'll be happy to hear
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I saw this, I thought this was pretty strange.
There was a, these people got married, right?
And strange.
Let me see if I can find the...
Game over, man, you know what I mean?
They...
Just put a lock on it.
I had it in my photos. I mean, let me just do it from memory then because I can't fucking find the
little article. But so these people get married and the husband secretly invites a person
who received, let me see if I can make this straight for everybody. So the woman had a child who died
before they got married, she got married
to this other guy. So the guy takes it upon himself to invite the person who received
the child's heart in a organ transplant. Now I saw this on Instagram on Good News, Dog,
it's like one of the good news accounts. Now tell me I thought that was awfully strange. Like if I had a child and that child died and
you know they harvested his or her organs and
somebody got the heart. I don't think I want to be reminded of that on my my wedding day.
Is there is there a history with the two of them?
How do you mean?
Have they met with this person before?
I don't believe so now.
Oh, okay.
No.
I can't see, I can't see taking it upon
myself to do it without telling my bride.
Like that seems like a weird thing to spring
on someone on their wedding date.
Like if she knew and she's like,
I think that's a great idea, let's invite them.
That's one thing, but to just be like, ta-da.
Yeah, it was her, yeah, groomed surprise is bride
with organ donor recipient who received her son's heart.
Like by 736,000 people, it says,
heartwarming, wholesome video.
Heartwarming, okay.
Yeah, that's a strange choice of words, right?
It was bright.
I think it's easy.
The bride was overjoyed.
Well, that's how it gets to the news then,
because if it went south, I'm sure,
who's, you know, the news isn't picking it up then.
Right, right.
Maybe a heartbreak you should have. It would be on too bad, dog, you know, the news isn't picking it up. Right. Right.
There you have a heartbreaking story.
It would be on too bad dog if that was the case.
But yeah, I mean, I can see it.
I've seen, I've read the ones where like, the person gets the heart and then like, they'll
record the heartbeat and like put that like in a teddy bear or something.
I think if that's a need so that they can always hear their child's heartbeat.
Oh my god.
That sounds horrible too.
I don't think it's as bad as inviting them to a wedding.
It's strange though, right?
Yeah.
Anything to do with your dead kid like, yeah.
Unless you'd express something.
Or these people who say it, they have pets
and they like I saw this thing where like they make a pet
that's supposed to look exactly like your pet
and then they have all these videos of people
opening up the package when it comes in.
It's like oh my god, it's so and so.
Yeah.
It's a stuffed animal that looks like their deceased pet.
So like Benjamin Cat, you could have gotten a cat that you know, black black cat, that's pretty easy to do, but like they do custom work
where, you know, it's supposed to look exactly like your pet. I saw a couple of them and
I'm like, yeah, I mean, kind of a little bit, you know.
That's a dicey. I mean, I mean, like, you know, I lost, I lost about two cats in the
fire and like it's, people try to be nice and send you something with their
pictures on it and it's like they want to be reminded. I'm not forgetting them. They
are not forgotten at all and sometimes it's you know it's just the you know the wrong
time to open it up and you're like oh okay yeah I appreciate the the thought it's I understand it it's just yeah it's not always the right thing
I don't know you're right well yeah you look relaxed today yeah really chill and quiet and calm
a little bummed out or yeah yeah I was told that um I don't look sketchy enough for people to offer me drugs.
And now you came in without a hat for the first time in a while.
You look plenty sketchy.
They said to me that I should give off such strong, dark vibes and square vibes that like
you know, that's why you never get offered drugs.
And I've just been kind of down because I was like, but what what I'm like
Why do I look like such a nerd that like because we found out that there's somebody in the plaza pretty big drug dealer
And in the plaza
Okay
Or no legit a legend
I was like wow he's never ever offered me drugs
And get him was like that's because you look like a gnarc and you're a fucking square.
And you give up these vibes that you're just like the most like, you know, square, stick
up your ass.
Wow.
Dude, ever.
And I've just been kind of like down.
Well,'s understandable.
I thought he told his wife he doesn't look like a square or a mark.
As well as Frank five.
Frank five.
You got to square in the dark.
He drives in cop car.
Yeah.
You got to switch up your look a little bit, Walt.
You got to get away.
I know I'm going to cultivate a new vibe because you know,
even though I don't want drugs.
But it's nice to be offered drugs.
I'll get the, you still have one of the cool guys
at the plaza.
You're not the guy that,
like, people are flush in their fucking,
they're stashed down the toilet
if I walk in the store.
Five oh, five oh.
Pass up, pass up.
I really bummed me out though that I'd like to hear
that I was this kind of like so vanilla
that like there's not a chance any,
not even the most desperate drug healer
would offer me drugs, apparently.
And I said he has to do something like that.
I don't need the money.
I said he's got a little lingo with it.
Drop hints.
What the fuck did he offer you drugs get him?
What the fuck?
No, no, he's offering drugs.
So there's no way you look like square.
You look like you've, you know, dabbled in, I mean, at least math, I guess.
I don't know.
I got the T-Tore.
That is true.
So I mean, I don't think that's what drug dealers do though. I don't think-Tour.
That is true. So I don't think that's what drug dealers do though.
They don't size you up constantly and be like,
well, this guy's a potential customer?
I think they might size you up, but I don't think...
It depends on how often do you run into this person.
Like, is this a daily thing? Is it Ron?
No, no, not yet. I don't like everything.
I will neither confirm or deny it's a he or she.
Okay.
But we only heard about this,
this is gossip around the plaza,
right? It's, we don't know if he really does, or she does.
But when I did find out, I was just like, holy shit, I talked to that motherfucker,
a lot, and he's never fucking off for me any
So definitely a he then
Like why what's wrong with me and then I but then I was told that I you know
I look like Andy Griffith basically or a Barney fight
Yeah, or fucking mr. Fucking mr. Rogers in in fucking Adita sweatpants.
That's basically what I am.
I disagree with you, get him?
He's got the shaggy hairdo now.
He's always in track pants and a sweatshirt.
Like what?
Why?
It's not like he's in a three-piece suit.
A big tie.
Because when you first heard about this,
your first thought was to go down to the police station.
Oh no.
And try to see if
they wanted you to get into the organization. So you can bring it down from the inside.
Only was your first thought. Only because they fucking froze me out. And I was like, all right,
then I'll bring it down then. If you're not going to offer me drugs, I'll bring this fucking.
I'll expose all this shit then for not at least then including me are the underbelly
You were like see for shemi in that sketch, but he's like hello fellow kids. Oh
It's like the departed to airport plaza
Yeah, so I've been kind of like
Trying to change it up a little bit. I thought maybe being quiet and brooding
My my peace of like the sign of somebody who's into drugs or into the city side of life
So it's all the listeners now are like damn is Walton drugs
Yeah, you waited to the podcast to be quiet
Great plan
I just have to really wrong with him right. Yeah, I think he's on drugs
I just got the really wrong with him. Right.
I think he's on drugs.
He's either on drugs or they suggest he moves the office again.
It's one of the others.
He needs to like, like drop hints.
Be cute.
How far you offer drugs when you're out and about.
Like even if it's just like, you know, recreational drugs, not hard.
Do you consider like marijuana?
Yeah, definitely. Yeah, I get get I get off of that fairly often.
Brian.
Almost never. Although when I was in when I was in New York, Troy and I were walking down the street once and some guys like you know,
Coke, Coke, and Troy goes, when I'm by myself, he goes, nobody offers me drugs. Ever. That's what I'm talking about. Nothing. I get nothing.
I get nobody pays attention to me in this fucking...
It's like, look, if I'm a drug dealer, that's an awfully risky way to get new clientele
to be like, any change you want drugs or...
It's like hard.
I think you have to sort of...
Go in and talk to this person and you you're like depending on what they're dealing
Like let's say they're dealing pain killers, you know, you're just like my god my fucking knees been killing me
You know just bring it up and then like you just sort of like oh like I do a Frank five and I would be like my like I have a knee
I have a stomach ache and or I have a or my right shoulder hurts and I'm not means for him to look over so there's okay. Yeah
I was never ever let's say I was looking for drugs though. I would never just randomly
ask somebody, I like a shopkeeper's like, you wouldn't have to know where I can get drugs.
I assume that that's that's on the drug dealer. Like they have to make the first move.
No, I think what you have to do is you sort of have to like intimate that you're that's what you're looking for.
Like maybe you heard about it.
How insulting is that though or how like if I-
If they're not drug dealers?
Yeah.
Well, if you're like, oh man, my knees kill me
and they're not biting or you like, you know,
you throw out a couple of them and I wish I had some weed on
me so I could get high.
Oh, I got to solve that basically.
I'm like coming on.
Yeah, you're coming on.
I'm super strong.
Man, my deal has been charged me so much for, I'm going to be lately.
I wish I could find somebody selling a little cheaper.
Yeah.
But he's the only dealer in Mayberry.
So I'm going to be able to post the death.
Damn Otis.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. So for next, so for this is what we got going on Brian's gonna lose a bunch of weight
I'm gonna run an eight-minute mile and Walt's gonna develop a drug habit these appear to be our new year
Resort no no the look of someone who has a drug habit. I don't actually want to dabble
I just want to be flattered enough to be like oh no no dude. I don't I don't do drugs
When they offer it to me.
But thank you for asking.
Yeah but thanks you know thanks for thinking I look hip enough that I would be.
Thanks for letting me ascend back to my high horse.
A beam of light comes down to the bits and the creeps just pulls all tough.
I'm holy yeah
I'm gonna get you like one of those drug rug ponchos Oh, that's a good idea, yeah, we have one in the pack. Yeah, we have one already
I have one. Oh, we should make already. I have one. We should make official tele-steve Dave drug drugs, man. The ones that look like, you know, where you get
about East meets West. Yes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Yeah. They made it like burlap
for whatever shit they've had out of them. Real happens. So that's all you need,
though. It's just to it's the tire. Because like I got a ditch. It I did pretty big sign. I got a ditch to Tom Brady stuff
Yeah, yeah, okay
Well, you look like you're on the and I do know you weren't you were in a Brady hoodie right now?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, so you look like right now you're on the quest for excellence
Excellent drugs
Nobody's gonna see a Tom Brady fan of think that guy
No, nobody's gonna see a Tom Brady fan, I think that guy. Really?
So you think that everybody in Boston, who was a,
was a Pat's fan, was fucking straight edge?
I'm assuming yeah, no, it's not not how it works.
No, that's a little Pollyanna.
Ask, to think that everybody who's at the football
who doesn't dabble in the,
I think that's wearing a Brady jersey.
You're wearing a Brady sweatshirt.
It's just better, right?
It's not the same as a jersey.
Oh, but that's better.
So you're putting yourself at a higher level
versus the lower level, which is where your drugies are.
Yeah, I got to work on it.
That's my New Year's resolution
is to get offered more drugs by strangers.
Okay, well, you know what's gonna happen now, right?
Well, at all the ants are gonna be offering me drugs.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, just know, I might be a gnarc too though, so.
Undercover.
He shaved his chest so he could tape the water to it
and not have to rip it off.
God willing, nobody will hear this in the plaza
because everyone will be looking out for you now.
What do you mean?
Here comes the gnar.
Like, if he tells on people for drugs,
who knows what else?
Like, I need to charge him cells, Tex.
Maybe you're gonna tell him me for that, you know?
All right.
All right.
Yeah, I'll go for it, man.
See what happens.
I mean, if it makes you feel any better,
I don't get off of drugs just randomly.
Yeah, but you look like you would like have them already.
You've been asked plenty.
Yeah, oh yeah, like yeah, like why would I ask this guy?
He clearly has drugs on.
Now, when you talk about when you're saying drugs, are you talking about like legal stuff,
like marijuana?
Or are you talking about harder stuff?
I'm just I'm just don't want them to like I just want to be
Offered or or even in the in the in play a little bit, you know rather than just constantly like frozen out of the reindeer games
Just invite it to the to the to the CD underbelly of
Of the of the fast life the fast fast lane. Of airport plaza.
You want me to bring my volcano?
I don't want it.
If summer record.
I do not want a parking.
I get a hot box.
We get a hot box studio out, man.
Got no smoke detectors in here.
You just want to look cool in it.
I don't, I don't.
I am not interested.
You don't want to be ruled out.
Yeah, I just don't want to be automatically
as like, you know, stricken or deemed uncool.
If someone starts a rumor that you're selling,
you want people to believe it,
and not just actually dismiss it.
What do I got to do to like, to fill us to facility?
Like, so the rumor is that I am the drug deal.
We've got to move it up our plate.
We're time for normal pace that you're all right now.
We're gonna go in a little bit more hopped up pace.
Yeah, like banging a door, tearing my trash bags. you get out of your car, you gotta look around.
Gotta look more like suspicious at all times.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm gonna door look both ways.
Okay.
Should I offer up?
I read brown paper bags around.
Good.
Can I offer up socks for drugs?
Like, an elderly dog, I don't know.
I mean, that's reeks of desperation.
I mean, actually that might work in your favor.
It's like, God, this guy really wants drugs.
He needs a loved family pet.
My dog's hips can't soar.
What if he could give me some ketamine for that?
Yeah.
Before you guys get back from the cruise,
I hope to report that I have been offered something.
Okay.
Legitimately, not somebody coming into the general school. Yeah, you want some drugs? That's a- been offered something. Okay. Yeah. Legitimately.
Not somebody coming into the general store.
Yeah.
You want some drugs?
That's a-
Yeah, exactly.
You don't have to put a...
a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... a... I do have an article about somebody getting peed on Yeah, I didn't know it wasn't Trump this time
Uh on on purpose or like an accidental team. Well a guy named David butts allegedly open fire on a woman after he paid her to pee on him
Okay, Pennsylvania man paid a woman $300 to pee on them then open fire on her for stealing his wallet while he was still soaking in her urine
honor for stealing his wallet while he was still soaking in her urine.
300 bucks. Wow.
I feel like an off-star, P, I'll start pissing on people with 300 bucks. That's not bad, right?
Fuck no.
She opened it up.
I got a bag open up.
Open wide.
Open up.
Sweet.
Honestly, this is cash, right?
Cash.
All right.
Let's do cash money.
She was paid to perform the golden shower and a bathtub of a York days in around 5 a.m
And then stole the wallet while he was still in the tub after I guess she stole the wallet and ran out to the car and
Then he says he panicked when he saw her reaching under the seat to pull out something dark from her from under her seat and
He shot at her. So he was soaking in urine and still had his gun on him.
I guess so.
I guess he had his gun in his in the hotel room.
Cops found bullet hole in the vehicle's door frame in a 9mm cartridge in the parking
lot.
He denied shooting at her, but then when they found the gun and the cartridge,
he got busted. But he was charged with multiple counts of assault, reckless danger and patronizing
a prostitute. Now, I thought it's illegal to get peed on or to pay to get peed on. I guess pay to get
peed on. Well, it's certainly illegal to fire your gun after you're not happy with it. Yeah, we
all know that. But if you properly phrase that that could be a health thing,
like it's good for your skin, good for your skin,
or your face, or your...
You believe in its in its purities and impurities,
or its beneficial...
For a story of benefits.
Yeah, I remember hearing that, yeah, like the first year in a...
A sexy lawyer could get that guy off.
Problem.
It's the gully peas on him. Yeah, it's the sexy lawyer could get that guy off. Problem. It's the gully peas on them.
Yeah, it's the sexy lawyer could get that guy off
while he peas on them.
But the thing is you gotta shut up.
You can't try to explain yourself to the cops
because that's when you fall into that pit of you.
Can't I'm if a girl that you were in love with
wanted to pee on you, what do you do?
on you. What do you do?
She's got to be a long discussion about this like she's like getting the tub bitch. What's the what's she's a one-zing?
I want to I want to piss on you.
Okay, like where on me?
You know where it's got to be in the face.
Yeah, yeah, face the beard. The beard. Oh, yeah,
the hair, the eyes. Yeah. She's a little dehydrated, so it's dark. You're saying no, you're
saying you want to drink water. She's going to make it pleasant for you. She's drank a lot
of water. It's pleasant as it could be, I guess. face no, no and also how soon after can I
Like take a shot a week another shower
Yeah, you're in the shower so you could like right after you guys are finished
This guy was apparently soaking so like that's what they said yeah, I don't know she wants me to soak. I'm not yeah, that's
Like you know, I don't know if she wants me to soak. I'm not, yeah, that's like, you know, I've been semi-pedal in the shower before because you know, you take a pee in the shower.
Tell them Steve Dave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hahaha.