Tell Em Steve-Dave - #586: Kuhleegleeuh
Episode Date: February 18, 2024Super Bowl parties, IJ cruise, Bry hangs with fellow podcasters, Q & Bry slobber over Fatone....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Taylor needs me.
And I've now rushed to her defense whenever I could.
He could be dancing and molesting people, driving drunk, and he's just like, I don't give a shit.
I just don't have the beer muscles that I used to have, so it's easy for me to not really remember.
Tell them, Steve, Dave.
Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell Them, Steve, Dave.
Hey, Walt.
Hello.
And hot off the set of Impractical Jokers.
This is it, man.
Steaming. He's steaming over here.
Well, I'm not mad.
No, I mean, it's just hot from the set.
Yeah, it's bad. Yeah, you're not angry.
No, this is it, man. This is first day of shooting today.
Not from set. We did promos for the NCAA today because they air on TruTV.
It's the only time anybody watches TruTV is when the basketball's's on so they have us do these promos and stuff like that so today was the first day
of filming but uh this i think we were supposed to shoot tomorrow but you guys heard about this
eight eight inches of snow coming in i have i'm so fucking excited because on your first real day
of work to have it canceled for a snow day is a real boost. Like, I like it.
I'm like, this is fucking nice.
Because it's not as easy as it used to be.
No, I would imagine not.
Yeah.
I would imagine that.
Well, first of all, just thinking of shit to say.
No, that's –
After all these years.
That's easy?
That's the easy part.
Wow.
Wait a minute.
The promos aren't written?
You guys just got to go wing it?
Oh, no, no, no.
No, he's talking about the show, right?
Yeah, I was talking about the show.
Yeah, the promos.
What they do with the promos. Basketball.
Well, basketball. They dribble. They shoot.
They score.
That's what they do.
There's so many fucking meetings for these things, right?
They're like, and they'll present
their ideas and you'll get the
promo department
of whatever company you're working with.
And their ideas are always like, and I know what our reputation is.
I get it.
Like I'm not mad at anybody.
But the promos year after year or when we do photo shoots, the ideas are always the
same.
Always.
You guys walk like the Beatles when there's four of us.
You guys walk like the Beatles and you know what I mean?
The four of you.
Or it's like – it's always like some wacky fucking prank that we would have rejected from doing on the show you know and they're like what
if you did this this and this and and we're like and then we got to fix it we got to write it and
then we get the set and then we got to condense it down to make the day work um so we did we're
used to it by now it's good it's fine everybody's nice to us. There's no problems. Yeah, I mean, when you're on set and you're like, it's your show, it's a lot easier to
get back to work, right?
Yeah.
Oh, that's the show.
We'll conflate.
Are we talking about two different things?
Well, that I was just talking about the problem.
I can't wait to get on set.
I can't fucking wait.
I'm excited to see my friends and play.
The crew.
Not Murray and Sal.
I see them all all the fun too much
i was in sal's house last night for the super bowl how'd you feel about that that's what i was
thinking but i was uh i got i got a little bit of a hangover i broke my promise yeah i got a little
a little crazy last night how many times have you broken this promise not many i don't think many i
don't think many some there's been there been broken promises, that's for sure.
And that wasn't in public.
I was at Sal's house.
All these caveats.
The wind was blowing in a northeasterly direction.
It looked like you must do not drink.
It's like Sal throws these parties and he invites like every New York comedian of note is like there.
You know what I mean?
So it's like they're all degenerates.
They're all drinking and whatever.
And then Joe DeRosa, a very funny comedian, of course, stayed at my house because he got drunk.
And I was like, dude, you can't drive up.
Just crash at my place.
So we got to my place at like 11.
And then it's like, how about a nightcap?
And then we're sitting down at that little clubhouse outside my office there. 11 and then it's like how about a nightcap?
And then we're sitting down, you know,
that little clubhouse outside my office there and next thing I know it's
2.30 in the morning and like we've just been
drinking the entire time and he's got nothing
to do today. I got to be in Trenton, New Jersey
by 10 o'clock. Yeah, so
I got very little sleep and my head's kind of
spinning but hey, that's
showbiz, baby.
Yeah, that's the life.
That's what people want to hear, the partying.
Yeah, yeah.
Although like you and DeRosa sitting around having like snifters of.
No, he's having Jack.
He's got Jack.
He actually, it was funny because he finished by Jack Daniels.
And I'm like, all right.
So I had him sign the bottle.
And I was like, I'm selling this on eBay to get another bottle of – so I may be selling Joe DeRosa signed bottle.
Joe DeRosa, limited edition.
Limited of one to restock my fucking thing.
But it's fun.
We're laughing and like having a good time.
So when you're at a party full of comedians, is it just constantly someone trying to make funny jokes or is it more like where they're not on? They're not on
so they don't try to be funny or is it just...
No, these guys don't know how to
not be funny. I've been around it. It's exhausting.
Yeah. It's fucking exhausting.
They're not trying to be funny.
They're funny. They're just... They won't stop.
They won't stop. These guys.
They get in and then as the drink starts flowing...
But you're seeing masters of the craft
going at each other and you're partaking.
You know what I mean?
You feel good when you get a laugh.
Oh, fucking kid.
I'm coming in with Pedialyte.
There's a man who knows.
This is personal stock.
Thanks, buddy.
I hope you get back on Mike soon.
I miss you.
So rough day today.
But when, you know, we go back, we're back to work Wednesday now instead of Valentine's Day.
Back to work.
Yeah.
I went to a Super Bowl party myself.
Get out.
Who's?
I went to Brian Rupert's Super Bowl party.
So he now joins a very exclusive club of people who can say that I attended a party at their house.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't feel as good anymore now that I know Rupert's in that company.
I used to fucking fly that flag proudly.
I only think there was one guy pounding alcohol.
Get him.
Get him, yeah.
I think the only one that was like –
Oh, January is over.
He's like, fuck, yeah.
February 1st, right.
You know what though?
He can handle his booze though.
Yeah.
He really can.
He doesn't – I notice he talks a little bit more when he's extra lubricated.
Sure.
If you believe it or not.
I know that's hard to believe.
But I noticed that he will have a little bit more – I don't want to say diarrhea of
the mouth.
Maybe like just like maybe a couple of like – just a couple of like spurts of like
excited.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Totally non sequiturs too.
Yeah.
People are like, okay.
All right, so that stays the same.
That's great.
What did you think of the big game?
Oh, it started out pretty ho-hum and it turned into one of the games for the ages.
Yeah.
Almost a double overtime, which had never been done before.
I was really hoping for that.
That was nuts, dude.
Yeah.
Well, let me ask you.
Let's get to the real important thing of it.
Yes.
Were people annoyed at the Taylor Swift cutaways at your party?
No.
Because at my party, people were like, fucking get – come on.
I'm sick of that too.
I'm sick of people who are sick of Taylor Swift.
I love it.
Have you become a Swifty by extension?
No, but I feel like it's a piling on now at this point.
I mean the gal just goes to support her man in a very traditional way because this is a powerful woman.
And she's kind of like being forced into that role of like –
Sidelines.
Not the most well-known woman on the planet.
As a cheerleader. leader. A woman of her stature and power now has been reverted to a
cheerleader in a very traditional role,
like a 1950s kind of mindset
that I'm like,
why aren't more people applauding
her for taking the back seat? For knowing her
role. Yeah.
This is what we've been complaining about
for the past decade.
He broke her.
He broke that trillion, and now she stands at the sidelines. I'm just. He deserves the credit for it. He broke that trillion
and now she stands at the sidelines.
I'm just sick of people
complaining about it.
So much like when Tebow
started to get too much hate,
I felt like they,
at the tipping point,
Taylor needs me.
And I've now rushed
to her defense
whenever I could.
Yeah.
Like during the party,
I had to like give some fucking nasty –
You had to nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles.
Nip a couple ankles. It wasn't my party. Well, it's house party. A lot. I would say at least 25 people.
How can you watch a game with that many people in the room?
A very big television.
Some people don't give a fuck about the game.
Oh, okay.
You know what I mean?
Like some people are by the food that he gets.
He gets a cater.
It's lovely.
Some people, he's got a nice deck outside his door there.
People are out there smoking and stuff like that.
A wide range of people.
I've been trying to snag an invitation to this for years now.
I can't get one.
Well, you had an invitation to Rupp's, I know.
I did.
I was like, oh, it's 8.30.
I don't think he's coming.
No, I told him that I was probably going to Atlantic City.
Okay.
But if I did it, I was definitely going to go.
I didn't know you were going.
I actually might have stayed home.
You're not missing. No. You know I love Sal, I was definitely going to go. I didn't know you were going. I actually might have stayed on. You're not missing.
No.
You know I love Sal, but like, you know.
All those funny guys cracking up.
And girls.
Well, that's else.
Come on now.
We're talking about traditional rules.
No, there was, you know, there's a podcast called Guys We Fucked, I guess.
Yeah, yeah.
And one of the hosts, Corinne, was there.
I liked her.
I thought she was very funny. I liked her. But she of the hosts, Corinne, was there. I liked her. I thought she was very funny.
I liked her.
But she had a fucking – you remember Ryan, our buddy Ryan?
Yeah.
Yeah.
He walks in and out of nowhere she goes, is he gay?
Which is fucking hysterical if you know Ryan.
I haven't fucked him yet.
He must be gay.
Yeah.
Oh, God.
She was funny, man.
So there was like funny people of all stripes.
They were at –
But that joke is funny if you know Ryan because that everybody talks about when it comes to him they the guys we fucked
were at the same I think it was like there were three acts and we were the we
were the headliner at the in Brooklyn I can't remember the name of the place we
were on the same stage as them yeah yeah. Oh, shit. Yeah, they were the middle act. Were they mean to us?
No.
No?
I was literally like, oh, fuck, man.
Maybe I was too podcast.
Was that one of the ladies on the Sabrina show?
No.
No.
No.
No, these are just two podcast ladies.
Yeah, yeah, I know who you're talking about.
Bubba Ray Dudley, the wrestler?
I don't know if you know.
I'm familiar with the name.
I wouldn't know if I saw him.
I know him a long time, but he's a great guy.
Yeah, it's a fun time.
Just drank too much, but I did think of Walt.
Yeah?
Yeah, I did think of Walt.
I was getting a little far Passover, and I thought of you.
Well, did you stay dry for the cruise?
Oh, God, no.
No, he did not. Oh, heavens, no. No, he did not.
Oh, heavens, no.
But there's no way to get through the cruise, though.
And I'm in international waters,
which I felt like your promise...
You feel the promise doesn't apply?
Yeah, it's only in America.
It's the content of the United States.
But there's no other way to get through it.
The cruise, man.
Then to drink.
All right.
I've been on a couple cruises.
You were able to make it through?
Yeah, I was able to make it through.
I powered through it.
Yeah, but you didn't have things.
Like I had – did you see those two girls that came up to me?
These two girls came up to me.
Well, they were stunning, 25.
And they come up to me holding hands and they say – they say – the first thing they say to me is, we will sign an NDA and do anything you want.
And I'm like –
Whoa.
and do anything you want.
And I'm like, get me whiskey, get me something because I can't jump into this
because the society we live in, the time we live in.
So you're like...
On the cruise.
On the cruise.
So you're like, I got to drink, man.
No man could be sober.
It's just like you got to drink.
You have to drink until you're like,
I can't even get it up.
Yeah, there can be no temptation.
Did you helicopter your lawyer in to get the paperwork?
Yeah, no.
I mean what a great opening line.
Like what a great opening line.
But the fact that they're aware of NDAs immediately makes you suspicious.
They know the ins and outs of this contract.
I can't be involved.
So you're like, all right, well, then I'm just going to go hang in my room with a bunch of dudes.
Like you get DeRosa, Eric Andre.
It's all you were drinking to forget the, you know.
To kill the.
To kill the.
The draw.
The temptation, let's say.
Yeah, so you're in your room and you're just like, well, now it's just a sausage party in my room.
So let's fucking drink.
Yeah, well, I mean, sausage parties are, they're fine.
How much pussy was at Roop's place? No. No? Zero? Oh,. Well, I mean, sausage parties are, they're fine. How much pussy
was at Roop's place?
Uh, no.
No?
Zero?
Oh my God, I'm shocked.
All you guys hanging out?
I mean, we talked football though.
You know, that's why
it's Western.
See, that's why
I didn't want to go
because I would have been
the closest thing to a girl there
and everybody would have
tried to fuck me probably.
Oh, yeah.
We would have been
the object of much ridicule.
You had to climb it over
each other to get at me.
My turn, boy.
I saw someone on Twitter post such a great line, such a thorough line.
It actually made me laugh out loud.
It's like – because somebody asked me who I think – who I thought was going to win.
And I said, I cannot bet against Mahomes.
who I thought was going to win.
And I said, I cannot bet against Mahomes.
I said, at this point, he's all universe.
And like anybody who bets against him is absolutely nuts.
And someone just wrote, responded that Patrick Mahomes is good at fourth and down.
Do you remember that?
Do you remember that was a title of like an episode of ours?
And it just made me, it was such a great callback.
It just made me laugh.
Fourth and down.
If I'm Patrick Mahomes, before I do anything else, I get my family together and I was like, can you guys please not – whatever it is you're about to do.
Whatever it is you're about to do, just please don't do it.
I don't need this shit.
It doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
That kind of pressure and he still performs like that? He's still going to win no matter what his chaotic family does.
They could be dancing and molesting people and driving drunk and he's just like, I don't give a shit.
I'm still going to fucking be a legendary comeback and you're still going to come back no matter what the odds are and still win.
It doesn't matter.
He's that fucking phenomenal. he's just not like there's
some guys that are just that focused huh they're like they don't feel whatever a normal person
might feel that kind of pressure they just don't they don't feel it yeah i guess that's like um
there is a medical term for that right sociopath yeah like you don't feel pressure you don't feel
like you don't feel those feelings.
Well,
that's what they said about Dexter.
It's like,
that's why he didn't get scared because he was a psychopath.
Yeah.
So maybe,
I don't know,
maybe sociopath along the same lines.
Are we,
are we willing to go on right now and say Patrick Holmes is a sociopath and
that's why he's so good.
I don't mind.
Yeah.
I'll make that,
I'll make that statement.
Um, yeah, i went down to
atlantic city i um not to watch the game though it happened to be the same weekend that a bunch of uh
podcasters that i like were like sort of meeting up down there
he just has to make his presence known he's gotta leave his phone on how you stankin
you're gonna shut my phone off.
So you went to a podcast festival?
It was kind of like –
Was Ming there?
Ming was not there, no.
I bet it was no podcast festival.
It was at the Borgata and it was a couple different podcasts that I listened to.
Nobody Likes Onions, My Missouri Loves Company, Tookie Soup.
It's like all these people who like –
Fuck, what?
They all feud with –
Tookie Soup?
Yeah, it's this guy who has a puppet on his hand and he does everything through the puppet.
Like, dude, it's so fucking funny.
I love it.
And all they do is feud with each other, like all these podcasts.
So it's weird.
Like Stuttering John is like the center piece of it.
Like he's the focal point of all this, Stuttering John.
So he was there.
I thought you weren't fond of. I'm not fond of Stuttering John. So he was there. I thought you weren't fond of –
I'm not fond of Stuttering John.
I think he's an awful human being.
So like he wasn't the reason I went there.
There were two other guys there that I wanted to meet.
And a puppet.
And a puppet, yeah.
Well, the puppet was one of them.
Yeah, I got to meet the puppet, yeah.
Mary Beth has a picture with her, with the puppet.
Great.
But I watched probably more of the game than uh i've watched in the past
ever yeah yeah well because everybody was at the bar like watching the game and so i was like well
i guess i'll sit here with everybody else you know so they weren't performing no no no the
podcasters just we're gonna be at this they were like yeah we're gonna go to this bar on this
weekend or this uh this hotel rather on this weekend and this is where we're going to go to this bar on this weekend or this hotel rather on this weekend.
And you were like, I'm going to go too?
Yeah, I was like, I'll go.
Were you there as –
I was there as more of a fan of these guys.
So they had no idea you were – nobody of these podcasts know who you are and you just show up.
No, they all know who I am.
Oh, okay.
It's not like you're just like stalking them for like –
No, I'm not like hanging on the outskirts just watching and shit.
Yeah, no, I wouldn't do that to them like the first guy the first guy i met was dressed up as another guy i know the the
puppet guy was dressed up as another guy that i know he was cosplaying as another dude i thought
it was him at first and i was like wait a second so i'm a little confused as to what went down like
a bunch of podcasts were like let's hang out let's Let's hang out at a bar in Atlantic City on Super Bowl Sunday.
Yes.
That's basically the way it went.
And they announced this to their fan base?
Yeah.
They say it over the – yeah, on the different podcasts.
They're like, this is what we're going to be doing.
And if you want to come down and hang out, just drop by.
What do you do when you get there then?
You just talk to them?
You wonder why you went.
What do you do when you get there then?
You just talk to them?
You wonder why you went.
No, the two guys that I went down there to meet, I talked with quite a bit and just hung out.
And, you know, Mary Beth was there.
So we just, you know, we went and she played some slots and shit like that.
She does not have the Deb Flanagan touch.
I got to tell you. No, I mean, it's, it's, uh, no, nobody can
sustain, uh, winning at slots.
It's a total fucking.
But she's, she's just like, she, she dumped
some money into it and, and she was annoyed
that she didn't play longer.
She was like, she's like, these are fucking
penny slots.
You're not going to win on penny slots.
What's that?
You can't win on penny slots.
You can.
It's very rare to win any significant money on penny slots though
I was with a girl who won like $4,000 on penny slots one time
Oh yeah?
That's a significant amount
Yeah
That doesn't have
It's very out of the norm
Actually now that I think about it
It was $700
I don't know why I said $4,000
She won $700
$700 is still pretty good
Yeah pretty good
But I
It's a big difference
I don't want to
I don't know why I said that
My brain's not...
It's the Super Bowl hangover.
Yeah, I'm having some problems right now.
700 bucks, which is a win.
Yeah. Not $4,000.
Yeah, the room was real cheap.
I was surprised for like Super Bowl
night. I thought that... Oh, I think everybody's...
Nobody goes to... Everybody goes to
parties and stuff. Everybody goes to parties.
Nobody wants to Be away from home
I think on Super Bowl Sunday
Or somebody else's home
You know drinking and
Carousing and such
Yeah just schmoozing
Yeah
So who was all
At Rupp's party?
It was you Rupert
Me, Gidham
Steve
And another fellow
I didn't know
Oh it was just four of you?
Yeah Oh Intimate Steve and another fellow I didn't know. It's just four of you? Yeah.
Intimate?
It's quiet the whole time.
Marty is getting a real workout there.
So we're technically having a party right now?
I had a great time.
To me, that's about as – like I'm going to dip my toe into partying.
So like I don't want any more than four people there because then it's intimidating and it can give me the sweat.
Four dudes, just four dudes.
Yeah.
Now, did you guys have to keep the volume low because he has the baby now?
The baby wasn't there.
The baby came home later in the evening and then we had to kind of keep it quiet has the baby now? The baby wasn't there. The baby came home later in
the evening and then we had to kind of keep it quiet
when the baby came home. But you know what? I'm used
to fucking watching Super Bowls like that. I remember
the days when... Yeah, me too.
Yeah, I told you. Well, the few parties I got invited to.
You can't raise your voice over a whisper level
when the baby's sleeping.
Me and Sunday Jeff had to learn sign language
for the next year.
Me and Sunday Jeff had to learn sign language for the next year.
Yeah, other than that, I didn't do much for Super Bowl Sunday.
Went there, watched, hung out, met some people.
That's not bad.
Came back.
I think Sunday Jeff was up at AC over the weekend as well.
He told me he was going to be at AC for the Super Bowl as well.
Really?
Yeah.
I wish I had known.
He could have represented the all-new Sunday Jeff show at the meetup.
At the podcasting meetup?
He would have been a legend, man.
People would have fucking clamored to get near him.
I don't blame him.
Yeah.
Sunday Jeff.
Yeah. Sunday Jeff. Yeah.
No matter what your relationship status or your thoughts on Valentine's Day,
we can all agree some things are better together.
Peanut butter and jelly, Bert and Ernie, a blockbuster movie, and a bucket of popcorn.
You know what else is a perfect match?
Music, podcasts, audio book, whatever it is you're listening to on your raycon everyday earbuds i use mine every day and they are still the ones that i sleep with at night to keep out all the voices
just kidding with optimized gel tips for the perfect in-ear fit these earbuds are so comfortable
and they'll actually stay in your ears whether you're going for a run or dancing along to your
favorite tunes and like any serious love story your raycons are here for a good time
and a long time with eight hours of play time and a 32 hour battery life most importantly you get
audio student oh my bad most importantly you get amazing quality audio at half the price of other
premium audio brands and raycons everyday earbuds are used to feeling the love of they've already gotten tens of thousands of five-star reviews.
They have earbud tap functions, noise isolation, awareness mode.
These are the things you need in your earbuds.
Just ask Walt Flanagan.
Go to Raycon.com slash TESD today to get 15% off your Raycon order plus free shipping.
That's buyraycon.com slash TESD to score 15% off your Raycon order plus free shipping. That's buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D to score 15% off and free shipping.
That's buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D.
The cruise, though.
It's weird because we came back and we did the sexy lawyer episode, so we really didn't
talk.
We haven't talked about anything in weeks.
Were you talking about the cruise?
I mean, I just told the best story I have.
Yeah.
That's a pretty good story.
You didn't tell me that one.
It's a pretty fucking good story.
Yeah, that was the best.
Do you avoid those twins when they –
Like the fucking plague.
And then there was another one.
There was another – I mean look.
It's a boat full of people who came on because they're fans of us.
You know what I mean?
So it's no surprise.
It's not like – but there was this – yeah,
there was a lot of dodging going on and stuff like that.
But a lot of fucking – a lot of ants,
tons of four-colored demons shirts.
So much so that like Eric Condor was like,
what is that?
And I was like, yeah, don't worry about that.
Don't worry about that, Eric. It's my secret motorcycle club. Ming And I was like, yeah, no, don't worry about that. Don't worry about that.
It's my secret motorcycle club.
Um,
Ming.
I mean,
how great was Ming on that fucking,
but one point we're,
uh,
DeRosa and Sal through a secret hip hop party.
They didn't advertise it.
What they was in the bliss lounge where we had the meetup.
They were just going to at 11 o'clock,
start playing nineties,
hip hop and hosting a party.
And they weren't going to tell anybody.
So the only way you found out about it was if you were walking by and heard the music and wandered in, at 11 o'clock, start playing 90s hip-hop and hosting a party. And they weren't going to tell anybody.
So the only way you found out about it was if you were walking by and heard the music and wandered in, which is a pretty cool idea.
But word got out.
So it was fucking packed.
And that's where those girls actually said that to me.
And then Fatone's – like it was a great time.
And then I look up anding is dancing with a girl who
she's an aunt she was wearing a four colors demon thing one night like mary jane oh yeah mj mj she's
real tall right like towers over real tall real pretty yeah like looks great and wearing the
slave layer costume yes yeah i do remember that costume yeah she comes in for a picture dress a
slave layer and she hands me her leash and she's like, would you hold this during the picture?
And I'm like, well, you know, you paid.
So here we are.
And I see Ming dancing with her on the dance floor.
I'm like, this fucking guy.
He has the time of his life everywhere he fucking goes.
It doesn't matter where he goes.
It doesn't matter what he's doing.
The dude is constantly like smiling.
Yeah.
Teaching her how to dance like i'm
like this is fucking this guy is like having a blast it was uh the shows were great i don't
remember the last any of the show oh the last night at all i don't remember a single thing
of being on stage that last night uh but i do know that my parents were there and my mother
said it was fine yeah you guys didn't say anything like crazy. And I was like, okay. That doesn't give you any pause though when you're like, I drank so much I can't remember what happened.
It doesn't and I'll tell you why.
Because I also didn't drink a lot.
Like my tolerance is so low that it did sneak up on me.
But I also know like I wasn't like – I just don't have the beer muscles that I used to have so
it's easy for me to not really remember
uh
it's easy for me
it's the last night of four days of drinking
all day and like working our ass
off because we do work our ass off
they do run these guys
I totally get it.
It blends together.
Yeah, but like at a certain point, if I ever had like seven hours of my life that I couldn't remember, I would be like, wow.
It's like usually reserved for like when you're sleeping, you don't remember.
Oh, yeah.
When I have my operation.
When I have my operation, I don't remember anything that happened.
Right, you're under the influence.
That's the only time I can think back that I don't remember what happened for like seven hours.
Yeah.
Seven hours is a pretty long time.
Yeah.
But I wasn't surprised when I saw him because we were about – we're going to do Space Monkeys.
And I got some people lined up and I get a text like five minutes before we're about to go on and it's like, I'm doing great at poker.
I'm probably going to be like 15 minutes late.
This was on purpose.
I planned that.
Yeah, it seemed that way.
Because I was saying to Mary Beth because I was going to play poker too.
But I was like, well, wait, I can't play poker because it's going to run into the show.
And I was like, wait, he's playing poker.
I was like, he's doing this on purpose.
Yeah, I was doing it on purpose.
I wanted to give you the – I wanted to give you the –
I wanted to give you the –
See what it feels like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To have to go out there alone.
And then of all the nights, like when I went out, they hadn't turned any of the mics on.
So I went out and I put the mic up and I'm like –
It's like, goddammit.
Everything's going wrong.
These motherfuckers.
Yeah, Chuck was on the boat.
Chuck was there.
Yeah, I felt bad for Chuck. Oh, you shouldn't feel bad for Chuck. He had a great time. Chuck had a great boat. Chuck was there. Yeah, I felt bad for Chuck.
Oh, you shouldn't feel bad for Chuck.
He had a great time.
Chuck had a great time.
Oh, great.
Yeah, I brought him up on stage, but then we ran out of time.
We didn't get to do his one, two, three.
Yeah.
Stuff like that.
He was up there.
You guys really didn't come up too much this time.
Every time we came up, you were gone.
I was working.
You were doing a lot of stuff.
Well, with Gatto not being on the boat, it was like-
Oh, yeah. You have to double down on it. Well, with Gatto not being on the boat, it was like – Oh, yeah.
It fell to us.
Doubled down on it.
Yeah.
Because Eric Andre is great and he's another machine.
But like we know what Gatto did and we had to make sure that that was covered.
Right, right.
And that's not natural to me.
Right.
Yeah.
That level of interaction with the audience and the people is not usual.
It's not usual to me, yeah.
Right.
But tons of ants.
It was almost felt to me a lot like sometimes like a Tom, Steve, Dave cruise.
That's how many fucking ants were there.
When we did the get-together, the ant meet-up, there were probably a good couple hundred people.
Nice.
Yeah.
Everybody with their shirts on and hanging out, having a good time.
Yeah.
And we took pictures with everybody.
Yep.
Every single person who was there.
Yeah.
It was great.
It was a great cruise.
I don't know if we'll do another one.
Those are people who ask me, like, when do you think the next one's going to be?
I'm like, I have no inside track on this.
We didn't think we'd do this. The last one's barely over.
I'm still sick from the last one.
Yeah, I know.
It was, we didn't think we'd do this one.
So now it's just like, hey, man, like, we can't do them every year anymore.
There's too many now.
There's so many of these cruises.
The competition is pretty fierce.
And, you know, it's a lot to ask.
It's like fucking you're asking people to lay out thousands of dollars.
And I think it's a little hard to do that every year, especially after the pandemic.
Oh, yeah, definitely.
They may not be vocal, but I believe that people love every fucking second of it and think it's money well spent.
I think so, too.
Because, like, any time I ran into anybody who was like, oh, hey, you know, like they're always having a good time.
It's never like, hey, can you talk to one of the guys about the fucking heat in my room yeah no it's like
and there was you tell me if because you you were more boots on the ground than i was right you were
out there i felt this year's cruise was more adult it seemed like there were fewer kids actual
children and also kids in their teens and stuff like that. Yeah.
I felt the same way.
I felt that like compared to the first cruise where there seemed to be a lot of families on it.
Yeah.
This one, not so many.
And things got pervy.
Did you scare the families away with the previous trip?
Not scare them away, but, you know, did it make it – was it inappropriate for kids?
I think a lot of our fans –
Oh, I just heard the word pervy just being used so privately.
No.
I guess –
I think our fans – Question answered. That being used so no i guess i think a question
answered that go on the cruise grew up like they got older no but people were fucking on that boat
everywhere everywhere in public uh i don't know well there was that guy walking around with like
the christmas ornament on his balls right it was yeah i kept getting reports of everybody hooking up.
Like artists, the cruise goers were like going up, like telling DeRosa, like, holy shit, I just got laid.
It's like the love boat.
Yes, it was.
There was a vibe on the boat that wasn't there in previous years.
I had to console these two twins who had just gotten turned down.
I perved out on them.
Don't worry about the NDA.
I don't give a shit.
Take a rest assured knowing I didn't want to turn down.
I mean, you know, but I don't want to get sued into oblivion, you know?
Were there any real like lasting love connections made like on the real Love Boat show?
It's like, you know, when everybody's disembarking, it's like it's not just about fucking.
It's about a deep, you know, commitment and you learn a lesson and you realize it's like it's not just about fucking it's about a deep you know commitment
and you learn a lesson and you realize it's it's about love it's not about like raunchy sex
the the vibe that i got on the boat was that if anybody was wasting their time with true love on
this boat they weren't having the maximum good time that they could be having yeah so it's not
like the love boat no there was like i mean i'm not it wasn't caligula like like you know you
were able to like walk around and like not trip over people fucking i just mean like there was
another current that i think wasn't there the past uh past few cruises well i think your co
like steve o and eric andre brought an audience that didn't seem to be an ij audience no there
was no there was no like the audience blended.
They melded very well.
Yeah.
But what is more apt to be,
to have to,
to engage in,
to cannery and like out of wedlock sex on the boat,
just willy nilly Lee,
just like hooking up here,
there,
everywhere.
Don't tell me to answer.
Please don't say it's the answer.
I got,
I really don't want to. I mean, it was, it was Don't tell me to answer. Please don't say it's the ants. I really don't want to.
It looked like the ants were having a good time.
Why don't you ask Chuck about that?
Let's ask Chuck how he did on the vote.
Ask Chuck.
Also ask him if he wants that left in.
Yeah.
No, I think there was like
good times to be had.
It's funny.
People still ask like, hey, do you get along with Q's mom?
That's so funny.
They still think that like there's a rift between me and your mom who I might have hung out with on the boat more than I hung out with you.
Oh, without a doubt you did.
We played bingo.
We would watch stuff from your room.
You were very sweet.
You were like bought my mom's bingo card, right?
Yeah.
You were like I'm taking your mom to bingo or something like that.
It was very sweet of you.
I appreciate that.
Have you just become that guy though?
Now you can kind of be like use mom as a beer to be the guy now who's like if I'm going to go on a cruise, I'm just going to play bingo and kind of just like shuffle around.
You mean have I worked myself into that situation now where I don't have to be boots on the ground?
I can just –
No, but I mean like have you just kind of crossed over into that?
I'll be doing it anyway.
With or without Carol Quinn.
I need time to recuperate.
I wish they'd slow down with all these bingo numbers.
Sam's so fast.
I have three cards.
Worn up to my ear.
Bingo!
Oh, no, no.
Sorry.
Sorry.
Not bingo.
People go, oh, again?
Did Fatone say A38?
What did he say?
There's no A in bingo, bud.
Yeah.
Yeah, like hanging out with Fatone makes me wish that he lived closer.
I love him so much.
Yeah.
He's really fun to hang out with.
He's just like the best.
He's like a golden retriever.
You just fucking love being around that guy.
Like what is, yeah.
What does he do to get that kind of like, like I want to pick up some pointers here.
I want to be like, I don't think anybody, when I left the party last night, I don't
know anybody was like, fuck, I love that guy.
I fucking can't wait to hang out with him again.
Like, so what did I. What should I have done?
Okay. How would we break that?
First of all, relentlessly positive.
Like always... Fuck.
Yeah, that's a big one. I wanted to give you the big one up front.
No cynicism.
Zero cynicism. Can we write all this
down? Okay. Yeah, write it down. Don't be
a cynic. Yes. God, okay.
So, so far,
Tone and Ming are neck and neck.
Willingness to do
anything.
Okay, wait.
Can we go back
to the super positive?
Yeah.
Doesn't that get
like tiresome though?
You're kind of just like
it's unrealistic?
No, it brings you up.
Yeah, because he's still like-
No matter what you guys
are talking about,
you could be talking about
the Middle East
and he's just like
he's got a positive spin on it
and you're like,
come on, man.
There was nobody
mentioned the Middle East
on this fucking boat and you don't talk to Fatone about the Middle East. on it. And you're like, come on, man. There was nobody mentioned the Middle East on this fucking boat.
And you don't talk to Fatone about the Middle East.
It's great.
It's like, isn't that wonderful?
Like, here's a guy you don't have to fucking talk to about the Middle East.
He would look confused if you brought it up.
He'd be like, why are we not talking about something different?
He's like, you don't want to hear how much pussy I got back in the day?
And you're like, well, actually, you know what?
I would.
I do.
And then he starts telling you.
Okay.
But like at no point – because I've been around Ming too much and I feel like I can
get like that super positive kind of like – no hint of cynicism.
Kind of like I can grow very tired of it.
Yeah.
Well, because it seems unnatural.
Like with –
Well, why is Ming so positive?
That's the question.
You know why I'm the stint.
So you're stupefied from the beginning.
I mean, Fatone still
has that
star, Jenna Sequa.
He has got it.
He's got it.
Okay, well then right there and in there, if you don't have it it then you'll never be the guy it's like i fucking love hanging around
with no that's not true because i love hanging around with you but you never fucking talk like
that though never once have you like fuck like the way you said it with that kind of like do you hear
the way that you pronounced fuck i fucking love that yeah i dropped a hard f on that hard f no
but i have said about you like when i'm talking'm talking to ants, and they're like, they'll
be like, man, Walt's a genius.
And I'll be like, dude, you don't even know.
That guy is a fucking genius.
I love that guy.
Like, I've definitely said that.
But you know that, but you don't need a genius at a party, though.
No, you don't.
Just ask Rupert.
The genius is in the corner talking about the fucking middle east
nobody wants him at the party why is he so positive anyway
all right so you gotta have the it factor which is not a lot of people have the it factor though
yeah he's got stories endless stories about his life and you want to hear him. He reminds me of Muse in a way that is like an innocent goofball almost.
Yeah.
Like the way he dresses and the way he carries around like a big giant radio.
I mean he walks – you hear him coming before he comes.
He has his whole squad with him too, like these four guys that he travels with.
And they're all cool.
Like they're all cool to talk to.
Are they bodyguards?
I don't know.
One is Mike Rome, the ring announcer for WWE.
Like he's –
Like let's get ready to rumble?
Not that guy but that job for the WWE.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
Wow.
And then he starts telling stories.
You know what I mean?
It's just like – it's just a group.
He's got connections everywhere for Tone.
So if you're like, hey, I'm going to Disney.
He's like, I'll make a phone call.
And then suddenly you got – like he's that guy.
He's that guy.
And he's completely normal despite – like you could talk to him and there's no hint of –
You can sit there and shoot the shit with him and you don't feel like I'm in the presence of a dude who is in one of the biggest bands on earth of all time.
Right.
You don't feel that way.
Down to earth.
Completely.
Completely.
Never feels like he's feeling he's better than anyone.
He did this thing with Troy's wife, Meryl.
She wanted to get his –
Oh, so funny.
She wanted to get a picture with him.
So we were up in this area where it's like a sun deck.
So it was like me and Mary Beth and Troy and Meryl.
And then Fatone and his crew were sitting over a little bit in this other area.
And Troy left.
And then Meryl was like, I got to get a picture with him.
I got to just like, should I just do it?
Should I just ask him?
You know, she's real nervous.
So I was like, yeah, he's a cool guy.
You can definitely just ask him.
But meanwhile, I'm texting him.
And I was like, my friend is going to ask you for a photo.
Give her a really hard time about it.
So she went over there
and Fatone played it perfectly. He's just like,
why now? We have all
week, why now?
She's just like, you can see it in her face
and I have a picture of them laughing about it
afterwards. But he played it perfectly.
It was pretty great.
Yeah. All right. Okay.
I've taken some notes.
Yeah, that's great. I mean, come on.
It would be too much effort.
It would be too much effort to try to manufacture the it factor.
Well, I'll only work on my positivity.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You got to be willing to talk to people.
He's not positive about anything.
But we're not saying these things about Brian Johnson.
Nobody is.
I mean, there's no doubt I love you.
Everybody knows that.
Yeah.
It's hard to be positive at all times.
I guess it's not.
Or any of the time.
There's something to being like that young in life,
being that successful where you're like,
fuck, I got nothing left to prove.
Just have fun.
I guess.
Yeah.
Like you look at his life now and it's not like,
wow,
he's really fallen on hard times.
It's like,
he's doing fucking great.
Yeah.
Every time you turn around for tones on TV,
doing something great.
People love him.
Every goes.
All right.
You know,
we love talking about this one.
And the thing about being a guy is we're pretty much stuck with what we've got.
Appearance wise,
Mel makeup.
What's to go along with my powdered wig? They ask. A peck push-up bra? What would the bros say?
Meggings that accentuate this caboose? Dude, there's kids out there. So what? Come on,
MeUndies, don't be so fucking prude. Finally, MeUndies is unveiling their latest gifts to
help men feel big. The contoured Pouch and Ball Caddy.
The micromodal sling that keeps things separated and lifted.
Alright guys, listen up.
I'm not aware of this.
I don't have these yet.
9 out of 10 women swear that sophisticated brief technology will make you look huge.
And that's all that matters, right?
Well, I want you to take them off.
It matters if you are huge, I suppose.
From all black classics to fun expressive prints, Me matters if you are huge, I suppose. From all-black classics to fun, expressive prints,
MeUndies has a look for everyone.
Plus, they come in sizes extra small to 4X,
guaranteeing a flattering cut for everybody.
And MeUndies isn't just about underwear.
Explore their lounge collection featuring joggers, hoodies, onesies, and more.
Unmatched comfort.
Their signature fabric is warm as a hug from your favorite sweater.
It's breathable, stretchy, and oh-so- so comfy, making it ideal for all-day wear.
And it's responsibly sourced.
I like those other underwear companies.
I don't even want to talk about them.
They're sustainably sourced materials, and they work with partners that care for their workers. And the problem-free philosophy is if you're not happy with your first pair of undies, it's on them.
It's on MeUndies.
So you can't lose here. Good things come in big packages at me undies get 20 off your thought a
big dick talk in this spot i wasn't aware of this get 20 off your first order plus free shipping at
meundies.com slash tesd that's meundies.com slash tesd for 20 off plus free shipping me undies There was a moment.
I ended up having several really good conversations with Steve-O.
Like, got to know him.
Liked the guy.
But at first, I didn't really talk to him until maybe the second night.
So there was a whole day and a half.
And there was a moment where, like, him and Eric Andre were hanging were hanging out again in the Bliss Lounge by the bowling alley there.
And they're hanging out and they got like – not their entourage but they got their friends that they brought on.
And I was like, oh, I haven't really talked to Steve-O yet.
So I should go say hi.
And like there was a moment where I was like they're all sitting.
You know what I mean?
Like that's heavy circle and they're laughing and having a good time with drinks.
And then like I come up and I'm standing there, and I'm like –
Overly laughing?
Yeah.
I'm like –
No, but, like, there was a moment where I was like –
Like Cape Fear laughing?
Yeah.
It's kind of a cigar.
Steve was talking about, like, his mother dying or something.
I'm like –
No, but there was a moment where I was like –
I was, like, on the outs of my –
Like, they were the cool kids on the boat
and i was like this i was like my face is on the fucking bow of the boat and i can't even get in
this conversation like there was like a good like three minutes where i was feeling like
12 year old brian in high school you know in junior am i hovering yeah am i hovering i can't
get into the conversation like i was trying to break into the conversation but i couldn't because
they were rolling yeah you I know Andre well.
And he looked at me.
He gave me the hey.
But Steve-O did.
And so I was just standing there like in their orbit.
And I was like, I'm not cool.
Yeah.
Steve-O, I think, was the one that turned off a lot of the older people.
Well, he pissed in his own mouth.
The guy – yeah.
On the boat?
Yeah.
On the stage.
And 15 minutes earlier, you said it wasn't Caligula on the boat?
It was not as Caligula as it got.
Yeah, that was –
Well, it's pretty fucking Caligula.
Yeah.
Yeah, you're right.
What?
Well, it wasn't sexual, I guess.
Wait, what?
Yeah, he did –
What is the –
He was on stage. Wow. He did. What is the, he was on stage and he did a Gigi Allen.
He,
and he's like,
you want to see me pee in my mouth?
And I guess he,
I didn't see it myself.
I heard tell of it.
So I'm assuming he,
yeah,
he actually like kind of,
kind of peed in his mouth,
which is like,
look,
man,
that's you book Steve.
Oh,
you're getting Steve.
Oh,
you know,
I didn't think he would do that.
Yeah. He, he, he, he whoa that is so fucked up it was pretty hard that's not the fucking thing you lead with no i forgot about it
i didn't remember because that because that was before i spoke to him or whatever and then i i
got to know him and like him so yeah you were on stage with him before getting to
yeah so by then I got to know
Steve-O a little bit, and I was like, oh, this guy's fucking...
I like this guy. So I think that that
superseded the peeing thing.
I am blown away.
This is so fucked up.
When they do the...
So he's just like, I'm a one-man show,
and all of a sudden, he's losing the audience,
all of a sudden, hold on, I'm going to take...
So you see his cock
I wasn't there
I don't know
I didn't see it
because I left
I went to see you
and then when
we got to
that part with Steve-O
I left
you left
not because of Steve-O
just because I was like
it's something to do
how do you follow that
how do space monkeys
fucking follow a guy
that's urinating
in his mouth
we drank a lot of piss
in each other's mouth.
Oh, my God.
Yeah.
That was during Eric Andre's show.
Well, when they had the –
And you're like, he turned off a lot of old people.
I don't even think you need to put in the word old.
You just turn – that to me would turn off a ton of people.
I don't know when I went to see the Steve-O show, though.
The theater was packed.
Yeah, he's a draw, man.
Yeah, he really is
but he works hard on his show i'm told like he really crafted like he limbered up yeah
i don't know that he did that on his own show
wow it was something well when they did the the sail away part like you guys come out and you
you say hello to everybody yeah just as we're about to sail away.
Steve-O came out and again I'm sitting there because Q's room overlooks where a lot of the events take place on the top of the ship there.
It's like a turret in World War II.
Yeah, you can see over everything and it's nice because it's like dark.
The windows are dark so like nobody can see you and you can watch everybody.
You bring binoculars and you're in the fucking money.
So I was watching.
What do you get binoculars for?
Just see everybody party.
Yeah, just the people watch.
Just people watching.
It's fun.
Caligula.
I didn't see any Caligula.
I didn't see any of that.
Well, a little bit.
Yeah, a little bit because.
Really?
I didn't see any of that.
Well, the sail away party, again, watching with Q's mom and Steve-O pulls his pants down and starts tucking his cock and doing this whole thing.
Yeah.
And your mom's like, oh, no.
She goes – and just turns away.
Yeah, he did that.
But again, like you booked Steve-O.
Yeah.
You know, you get it.
Who booked him?
That's a good question.
But we all – like when they brought his name up did he run by you
that he sounded like this is what i'll be he didn't run it by you but i don't think that
came around you by i'm gonna urinate in my mouth at one point he didn't mention that he didn't and
if he did if he did i would have been like i would have been like i would have been like i you know
i'm not here to tell an artist how to be an artist so But I'd be like, I don't know if our audience is going to love it, but I'd be wrong.
What?
What are you doing here?
What are you showing me?
Get him something about urination?
Look at him.
He can't stop trying to insert himself into the fucking show, this guy.
Okay.
So he asked Jimmy, did Steve-O pee in his own mouth?
Jimmy replies, he did.
Ha ha.
Right after Q got sick.
Well, you got sick because you saw
maybe you just uh no i was on steve no because you were uh no i was on eric he kept trying to
get you to drink all that shit yeah it was fucking amazing yeah that's what jimmy writes
now i've lost like to me yeah like jimmy if jimmy if i know if i asked jimmy if he would not reply
it was fucking amazing.
Asked to get him.
Text him right now.
Be like, Jimmy, just do I have this clear?
Did Steve-O pee in his mouth and like were people okay with that?
Was it awesome?
I've never been happier in my life.
Ha-ha.
I don't know.
It's another relentlessly positive guy. Is it wrong for me to be absolutely just fucking –
Aghast?
Aghast, appalled.
No, my mother was.
So you and Carol.
We were fanning ourselves with bingo cards, him and his mom.
I'm not even fucking around.
I would just like – I would want to jump off the boat rather than be in there.
And I would just like – I would want to jump off the boat rather than be in the mix with people who are like cheering and hooting and hollering because someone urinated. A lot of more ants, buddy.
They were fucking.
For the sake of not offending any ants, I'm going to not reply to that.
But like Jesus Christ, man.
What has it –
Where's that relentless positivity that we were looking for?
This is what I'm talking about.
Yeah, I get it.
But someone would be like, yeah, that's crazy.
Tsk, tsk.
How on earth can you as a – this is like –
He's looking at me.
He can't get it out.
As like this is your partner or not a partner, but you're there.
Just another person.
I hired him.
I hired him.
We paid him.
And you will have to let him be like cheerlead that this is what this guy resorts to, to get the crowd on his side or to win over.
But that's the other thing.
Everybody loves Steve-O.
Like, he's a legitimate icon.
People fucking love him.
It's a mentally ill act of
a fucking somebody who does not deserve
to be out in public and being paid for such fucking...
You're saying that the second
P goes in someone's mouth.
This is fucking absolutely grotesque.
Nobody's ever had T in their mouth that's not been
mentally ill. If I went on a cruise
and when the performer just pulled out and whizzed in his own mouth, You've never had tea in their mouth that's not been mentally ill. If I went on a cruise. Yeah.
And when the performer just pulled out and whizzed in his own mouth.
Yeah.
You would have been impressed?
I would demand my cruise be refunded in full.
Okay, yeah.
And that fucking – put in the fucking gulag.
That fucking grotesque creature has to spend the rest of the cruise in the fucking he's in the
brink
what's the gulag
that's a Russian prison
send him there I don't care
turn this boat around and get to Russia
throw him in a gulag
he doesn't there's no way I would want to
fucking right
I'm sorry that's fucked up
that is so fucked up maybe you
shouldn't come on the cruise next year there's no spit i could put on that that would at least
anyway resemble positivity the crowd loved it bro i well yeah do you think though like you're
in a situation like if if steve-o is a homeless guy on the streets in New York pissing in his own mouth. Exactly. You're not cheering him on.
Exactly.
If you're fucking getting on the boat with all your belongings and people are fucking – and you see some homeless guy begging and all of a sudden you don't give him a dollar and he fucking pisses in his own mouth.
Yeah.
What's your reaction?
Well, then I'll give him the dollar.
You want to get out of there as soon as possible.
Right.
But then you get on the boat, and for some reason,
because he's on a stage and you saw him on TV,
then it's like, fucking, a standing ovation.
Yeah.
Encore, encore.
He's famous.
Number two, number two, please.
Number two.
Yeah, but like, that's what,
it's what he's been celebrated for his entire career, that sort of hijinks.
It's why people love him.
I thought that it was more the pain stuff.
I didn't know.
I got to say when somebody told me, I think it was Jimmy the Hair Guy actually, told me that he pissed in his mouth, I was surprised.
Was it a stream?
I think it was a stream, yeah.
Wow.
I think he got on on from what i understand he
got on his back and like cocked his leg you know legs up and then just pissed in his own face so
you said that his aunts have gone and been like walt is a genius yeah okay the barometer for
fucking being a genius then is like these same people who said that are also fucking like steve-o yes he just took it away from him yeah that really wipes out the uh the accolade of being called
a genius when yeah yeah wow wow that's so fucked up i'm surprised i can't believe no one mentioned
that just in passing wanted to save it it's on stage stage, right? It was on stage? Yeah, this is during one of the Eric Andre shows.
Could anybody have done that on stage or is it just Steve-O?
I think just Steve-O.
Anybody else you're like, wow, he crossed the line?
Like if you were late coming from poker and they're like –
Yeah, Brian Johnson peeing his own mouth.
What's the reaction?
Honestly, please.
I know you can't – I know it's hard for you to be honest because now you're friends with the wizard.
No, I would – if Brian did it, I would be like, please. I know you can't – I know it's hard for you to be honest because you're not your friends with the wizard. No.
If Brian did it, I would be like, dude.
Why?
Because he's my best friend.
It's like he's on the cruise.
He degraded himself?
He's representing me, Brian.
Steve-O is not representing me.
In a way, he is.
You guys hired him.
Sure. But we hired him because people love him.
I got hired because I'm their friend.
No, that's not true.
He got hired because that behavior is why people love him.
Okay, but he got hired because people love him and you're hiring Brian to come along because fans love him.
That's all I'm saying.
But he is representing – like we didn't hire Brian to pee in his mouth on stage.
But I saw the reaction that Steve-O got the next night.
He's floundering, you're late.
Yeah.
What do I do?
What do I do?
I wouldn't be angry.
I wouldn't be angry.
He urinates in his own mouth.
I wouldn't be angry, but I would –
You wouldn't be angry.
I wouldn't be angry.
Your mom would say we wouldn't have the same reaction.
Yeah, all that work you had done.
So what's your reaction?
And you're not completely blown away?
I'm blown away, but I'm not angry.
I'm like –
Are you able to even fucking talk if you're hearing such news for like at least fucking 20 minutes?
I don't think I can verbalize anything.
Yeah, I would be like, is he okay?
Because I can't imagine him getting in that position and not breaking something.
Somebody help me.
I assumed he was just going to just try just from a sitting position.
Oh, like a fountain.
He's just like a dog with a hose.
A dog goes after a hose.
I'm like, I'm jumping up and snapping at it.
He's barely getting the ending in his mouth, but he gets a few.
That fucking Johnson hog is so big anyway.
It's halfway to his fucking mouth.
The effort was there.
The audience knows.
You got at least some in his mouth.
A drop.
Not as much as Steve-O, but you tried.
I would not be angry, but I would be like.
You would.
Because I think people walk away being like, holy shit, Steve-O did.
As opposed to like, you see my money back like he he's not known for doing things like that and then the
home point just dropped like a stunt out of a stunt like that out of nowhere yeah alarming i
texted jimmy okay uh yes q was on right before it bry would have seen it but he bailed out ha ha
just be like were you disgusted
like was it disgusting like that's i'm gonna write that's fucking so gross that's so fucking gross
he's not gonna know how to react i thought it was cool
i'm just now finding out finding out the end like you know as much as
like i try you're like i try, like, I try, you're like, I try,
but, like, once I find out,
like, shit like this,
it really is going to be hard
for me to be a Jimmy the Hair Guy fan.
Aw.
But then I talked to Steve Owen.
Like, he's opening
an animal sanctuary.
He loves animals.
He's saving animals.
He's showing me pictures
of, like, animals he saved.
So you're like, hey, man.
Is there some CTE, maybe?
What's that?
From all the others
to his body in his head i i wouldn't be surprised but he doesn't come off that way he's completely
verbose i didn't get to meet him like i don't need to meet him or eric andre yeah oh he he
doesn't come off as a damage he's like a thoughtful sweet kind of dude you know what you know i jimmy
won me over he's not this fucking you know he goes haha yeah over. He's not this fucking, you know, he goes, ha-ha, yeah.
When I wrote that, so fucking gross.
Ha-ha, yeah.
It turned the audience off.
People were already kind of not into it.
And then when Steve-O came out and did that, he lost like 60% of the audience easy.
Not me, though.
Ha-ha.
I think Jimmy may have CTE with all the ha-has he writes after everything.
Who writes ha-ha after everything?
He does.
He does a lot, I guess.
He won me over, dude.
Jimmy the Hair Guy.
I'm fully on that team now, Walt.
Yeah.
He might have lost you.
Yeah.
But he won me over. He rap battled against Ming.
He did a great job.
It was great.
He had everybody on his team.
Are we going to hear it?
I got to review it.
Well, I figure what we'll do is because Chuck recorded everything and did video for everything. So I figured what we'll do is because uh chuck recorded
everything and did video for everything so i figure what i'll do is i'll watch them i'll
take out what i think is okay is is not par for the course and then i'll pass it on to you yeah
so you got a second do you own the footage of steve-o's performance i don't know if that was
recorded i don't know that that was recorded the only reason space monkeys was because chuck was there and wanted to go yeah yeah yeah truck chuck pushed hard for it he was
like no i don't want to do this i want to do this um yeah i you know there's something i always think
about the leaving those space monkey shows on the boat but i mean it's worth the exercise i guess
because you're right what if it's just like oh this is great yeah and the rap battle must be seen
the rap battle has to be seen m Ming's One True Three is fucking awesome.
Oh, dude.
Ming's One True Three, man.
Ming's One True Three, I couldn't believe it.
Yeah.
It's out there, man.
So yeah, there's stuff that has to be seen.
You didn't even say.
When you mentioned that Steve-O Pissed, you didn't even follow it up with it's out there.
But Ming's One True Three is out there.
People know now. Wow fun cruise man yeah it was great it was
really really fun cruise i wouldn't have thought that i would have been able to have that much fun
on a boat after joe left the show because he drove so much of that cruise but man at the same time i
missed you i fucking really missed him.
I wish he was on that boat, but we're not at that juncture yet where he's coming back
and playing with us like that yet.
But who knows?
Who knows?
Who knows?
Who knows?
Let me talk about PrizePix real fast.
PrizePix is the largest daily fantasy platform in North
America. PrizePix is the easiest and
most exciting way to play
DFS, which is daily fantasy sports.
It's just you against the numbers instead
of you battling thousands of other players, including
pros and sharks. You pick more than
or less than on two to six player
stat projections and watch your winnings roll
in. Who doesn't want that?
With PrizePix you can win 25 times your money and now you winnings roll in. Who doesn't want that? With PrizePix, you can win
25 times your money, and now you can play during basketball season. You select just two or more
players, pick more or less on their projected stats, and place your entry. PrizePix now offers
Apple Pay for quick and easy deposits into your account this season. They're saying football,
but football is obviously over, so I'm going to go ahead and say basketball season. PrizePicks even offers a reboot policy that your entries stay in play even if one of your players gets injured.
For football and basketball games, if you have a player who exits the game in the first half and does not return in the second, that player is rebooted.
Prize Picks is the only DFS platform with an injury insurance policy.
Testing your skills on Prize Picks this season is the most exciting way to play daily fantasy sports,
and if you have the skills, you can turn $10 into $250 with just a few taps.
So go to prizepix.com TESD and use the code TESD for a first deposit match of up to $100.
Go to prizepix.com TESD and use code TESD for the first deposit match up to $100.
Pick more, pick less. It's that easy.
I have an ant that I need to spotlight, if that's all right.
We have a new notable ant, the Handy Ant.
Remember my robot that we were like, can somebody fix my robot?
My robot's been fixed.
It got shipped back to my house.
Holy shit, man.
It talks. What kind of robot was this again? It got shipped back to my house. Holy shit, man. It talks.
What kind of robot was this again?
It's that –
Refresh us?
What is it?
The Omnibot 2000.
It's like –
In what year was this released?
80s.
I'll show you a picture of the Omnibot.
Yeah, I remember this.
Yeah, it was – I got it.
It was rotted out from the inside and this ant was like, hey, send it to me and I will get this working.
And he sure did, that guy.
Nice.
Now it works.
You can talk through a mic through it now.
He added features that didn't even fucking exist.
The eyes flash.
He sent me a tape of Elvis songs in its chest.
And when you hit play, the eyes start flashing along to Elvis and stuff.
And it looks like he's singing Elvis.
So he's great.
So it's this guy, an ant, lovely, lovely man.
The handy ant is what he's calling himself.
His name is Utkan.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He is from somewhere else.
But he's from Chicago.
He came to the U.S. from Turkey, Istanbul in 1997 when he was 17.
He met his wife, married her in 99, and he gave me Turkish goodies as well.
So he has a handyman business in Chicago called www.jackofallrepairs.com.
I am telling you the work that this guy did is un-fucking-believable.
Tony Stark of TSD Town, right?
This guy?
This is why you're a fucking genius, Walt.
You don't even need to piss in your mouth.
This is why I love this guy.
Thank God.
This is why I love this fucking guy.
This guy is the Tony Stark of Tell Them Steve Dave Town.
He is – I think he's going to be in our rotation.
For me, from now on, anytime I need something kind of fixed.
How much more robotics do you have sitting around at home that you need refurbished?
Well, he's jacking all trades, my friend.
Oh, really?
All trades.
That's his website.
Yeah.
So he could fix anything.
Anything.
Anything.
All right.
Where's he out of?
Chicago.
Chicago. Okay. Check that out. He's been listening listening from day one he's like a rabid fan rabid ant rabid ant um hopefully we'll get him
in here one day but uh i went i was like dude let me pay you for this and he's like he's like i'm
not taking money from you he's and i'm like well you should but he he won't do it but if you insist
yeah i'm like well i'm only gonna ask times. There's no fourth time, my friend, Tony Stark.
So thank you, and I will be showing off that robot very shortly.
Yeah, I'm going to do like a video series on it.
Oh, yeah?
I think so.
Bring any of your slippers and stuff?
Yeah.
High-fiving you?
He fixed the arm.
Like it moves now.
It picks things up.
It's like he upgraded.
I love it.
I got to spotlight the Tony Stark guy.
There you go.
There.
Thank you.
Let me spotlight one more sponsor.
Yeah.
Before we finish up here.
Green Chef is now owned by HelloFresh.
And with a wider array of meals to choose from,
there's something for everyone.
You can switch between brands,
and now listeners can enjoy both brands at a discount.
With HelloFresh, you get farm fresh pre-portioned
ingredients and seasonal recipes delivered right
to your doorstep.
Skip trips to the grocery store and count on
HelloFresh to make home cooking fun, easy, and
affordable.
That's why it's America's number one meal kit.
They say breakfast is the most important meal
of the day and HelloFresh agrees.
In fact, they're giving all subscribers free breakfast for life
That means you're going to be able to enjoy a totally free breakfast item
With every HelloFresh delivery
Now that's worth waking up early for
Mary Beth says, super easy to cook, time saver
Less mess, less prep
She loves the convenience and the recipes are great
Tasty, but not too frou-frou
Alright
So go to HelloFresh.com slash T-E-S-D And use code T-E-S-D free The convenience and the recipes are great. Tasty, but not too frou-frou. All right.
So go to HelloFresh.com slash T-E-S-D and use code T-E-S-D free.
Oh, wait, I'm sorry.
Use code, go to HelloFresh.com slash T-E-S-D free and use code T-E-S-D free for free breakfast for life.
One breakfast item per box while subscription is active.
That's free breakfast for life at HelloFresh.com slash T-E-S-D free with code T-E-S-D free.
I forgot I had
written a note. I didn't think about it until
later on when Sexy Lawyer was here that
Gidham has straightened his beard for the occasion.
Because of John.
Because of John. He doesn't really
want to be called Sexy Lawyer. You don't want to be called it anymore?
I think now since we know his name now,
some of you suggested Johnny Law, which I love.
Oh, that's pretty good.
Johnny Law is great.
Johnny Law.
Yeah, no, I mean, it's very flattering to be called the sexy lawyer, but I could see why he would prefer something else.
And I think Johnny Law is pretty good.
I think he's fucking up, but all right.
Caused a little dissension in the Johnson household.
She didn't agree?
fucking up, but all right. Caused a little dissension in the Johnson household.
She didn't agree?
She, you know, because we did on video.
So if you want to go to YouTube,
TSD Town, if you haven't seen the episode yet.
I was in the other room
and I hear, sexy lawyer my ass.
Well, she has a type.
She definitely has a type, right?
But then I find myself
defending the fucking guy.
Look how skinny his beard is.
And it's brown. But then I find myself defending the fucking guy. Look how shiny his beard is. Yeah. And it's brown.
Yeah.
He hasn't gone gray yet.
Doesn't look like Santa Claus to me.
He doesn't look like he could play bingo for shit.
Ew, look at all that vim and vigor.
Yeah, I'm sitting there defending the guy.
I was like, you don't think he's a good looking guy?
She goes, no.
I go, you can't see this guy in a catalog somewhere.
She goes, have you seen catalogs lately?
She didn't want to hear it.
Wow.
Has she gone for an eye test lately?
She has perfect vision.
She has perfect vision.
You know what's going on, right?
What?
Oh, she's overcompensating?
Yeah, she's playing the long game.
What else is she going to say?
Nothing.
She thinks of nothing.
Yeah, sometimes it's safe enough.
Really, you know, because you could be sitting there and the thoughts could creep in.
Like, does she think he's sexy?
Who the fuck she thinks?
It's suddenly like within an hour.
You know he doesn't want to be called sexy lawyer anymore, right?
Yeah.
She's like playing chess.
She's too moves ahead. Oh, man. Doth protest. I'm like, king me. more right she's like playing chess he's playing bingo playing checkers
over here my wife thinks I'm sexy yeah
that's sexy lawyer is shit compared to me.
Yeah, Brian.
Yeah.
Ew.
Ew.
Gross, right?
Very bad.
King me.
I would have said tell him, Steve, but I do want to make an announcement that...
Wait.
Sorry.
Oh, my God. Sorry. Oh my god, sorry.
I'm back. So many
listeners reached out to me about
the possibility of prosecuting
Gidham. We've had other lawyers
reach out for it.
We have.
TSD
has a lot of
fucking high-powered lawyers
listening. From what I gather from all the emails I got after this, it's like it's one lawyer after
another, you know, putting their – extending their hand to help out in this trial.
To seal his fate.
My vote would be for Mary Rachel, Vermont lawyer.
You got people?
You got somebody?
I got the guy because I don't think we're going to be able to top this.
And I didn't respond to any people who reached out because it's hard to be like, we already got somebody.
Right.
I'm sorry.
So just ignore him.
But I'm doing it here right now.
Okay.
This is much easier than responding to fucking 30 emails about me.
But we had a lawyer reach out to us.
And on his resume, get this.
reach out to us and on his resume get this so the so he is the only lawyer to ever cross-examine btk and now he'd be the only lawyer to cross-examine btk and get him of course it's got to be it's got
to be him right it was about some sort of like dog catching yeah he used to be a dog catcher
yeah yeah it had to do with something like that and he got to cross-examine him in a in a some
sort of case and not involving anything with murder or anything oh okay but you know
because btk pleaded guilty there was no reason for him to get on the stand and be cross-examined
but for this he had to be so that's some pretty cool catch that's a story we could bring in and
talk about in the trial as well i thought so sure yeah he's he's willing to come down in person when
we set the date and he's going to prosecute Gidham.
And imagine that on your resume.
You put that on a billboard.
I cross-examine BTK and I prosecute Gidham.
Yeah.
People are like, I don't really know what either of those things mean.
That's the guy I'd want.
Yeah.
I want that guy on my legal team.
Wow.
Wow.
So he's going to he that's a powerful person
i have against you is get him nervous uh i don't think get him's nervous you know he thinks get
him has gone around saying that like he doesn't care if he loses but if he loses he's not getting
back on mike he doesn't seem to be that all that worried about it i I got to say, like, the Get Em Free radio
did come back to bite people
because last week,
Q got sick.
This is why there was
some time between episodes.
Q got sick,
so Q couldn't make it down.
And I've been sick
ever since I got off the boat,
but I could have made it.
I was like,
you know,
I could probably do it.
I just,
I would have been coughing a lot.
But I was like,
but we don't got that third mic
and we don't got to get them.
I think we have so many people that we can call in, like, you know, to who, you know, if Q is unavailable.
There are so many people that would be willing to come on.
And, you know, when Q did the movie, I remember we brought in a different guest every episode.
Like Frank was on and Troy and Chris.
So, I mean. Who needs him, we could get by without getting by.
Sure.
Who the fuck needs him?
All right, is that it?
I think that's pretty much it.
Oh, no, since I saw you last, Sage turned 18.
Oh, my God, I saw that on Instagram.
Wow.
Believe that shit, yeah.
And she hasn't wasted a moment reminding me or letting me know that she's an adult and all this other stuff.
So then I have to remind her like, okay, well, if you're an adult, you can do this by yourself.
And she goes, that shit she doesn't want to hear.
Uh-huh.
So.
None of the responsibility.
None of the responsibility.
Yeah, pretty much.
If I can get away with it, I would.
Yeah.
But now I got to come up with an 18th birthday.
Yeah, 18, man.
Oh, you haven't had the birthday yet?
We had like a family party, but I still got to like get her friends together.
But I'm like, what do you do for, you know, she wants to go to like one of those trampoline places.
Let's go to one of the trampoline places.
I guess so.
Right over there.
Right over by the old Kmart Plaza.
Oh, really?
Mm-hmm.
All right.
Done.
You're invited.
Is it a party? really? Mm-hmm. All right. Done. You're invited. Is it a party?
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
You can try out your hand, you know?
I'll invite a couple more dudes.
Tell them, Steve Dave.
Before we go, I just wanted to give a quick shout out to Professor Christopher LeBlanc and his 3D printing lab at the University of New Hampshire for all their help with some 3D scanning.
And I also want to thank anyone who emailed in.
The response was overwhelming, and I really do appreciate that.
So, again, thank you, Professor LeBlanc and your lab. I really do appreciate all the hard work
you did and as well as to anybody who emailed in and offered their services. Thanks, guys.