The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 35
Episode Date: January 4, 2024The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 35 Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandsho...wclips Subscribe to @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs -- LIVE SHOWS: NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows Feb 16 — Feb 17: Columbus, OH @ Funny Bone Feb 22 — Feb 24: Nashville, TN @ Zanies ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour Jan 19 - Jan 20: Tampa, FL @ Side Splitters #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, it's the Adam Prieglanzho podcast.
2024, first episode of the New Year.
Let's give it up for the New Year.
Here with Nick, we're just kicking it.
What would you say?
Nick said we were kicking it old school.
I never heard you talk that way before.
Yeah.
We're talking finance, crypto, Bitcoin, is the economy going to rebound this
year? You see, Andrew Tate came out in anger against Israel. Here, how's for a while,
there's Muslim. Andrew, Andrew Tate's Muslim. He converted. I thought he was gay. No,
no, he's a, the king of all pimps. No. He's the total boss. they call him the boss, or like the absolute big, big dick savage,
something or other.
No, he's been critical of Israel for a while.
I thought this was like a gay penis symbol.
Is this a symbol? No, it's Diamond Dolls page.
Yeah, it does the rock away.
No, he does this.
It's the rock.
Anytime you see an interview,
is Andrew Tady's always doing like a spider move. Like this? Is the rock? Anytime you see an interview, is Andrew Tady's always doing a spider
move. Like this? He's always like, I got a, and maybe he's doing the red triangle. I think
he does look an Andre kind of maybe. That's the symbol of Hamas now is the red triangle.
What is that? Chinese. It's like in the videos, then blowing up the tanks. Oh, like a call of duty. Mm-hmm.
You're shooting someone like that.
That's a big argument online.
It's a homosol.
The homos guys will post GoPro videos,
and I'm shooting an RPG at a tank.
And then the guys named, like,
one of these Israeli guys, so fucking,
they'll respond and be like, You know, like one of these Israeli guys, so Okay. Fucking the respond.
And be like, they didn't belong anything up.
It is from, I guess the tank,
their tanks have like a,
like some kind of, like thing that,
if there's you shoot a rocket at it all,
like intercept the rocket.
Oh, it seems iron dome.
A mini iron dome.
Yeah, which seems kind of like,
that's kind of cowardly, I think.
There's too much shielding.
Shields?
Yeah, there's, A's real does too much shielding.
Well, the star of David is also going to be the shield of David, you know.
You know what, like, Call of Duty with, like, the right, right, the right gear plus throwing
knife.
Uh-huh.
That's like sort of the A's real loadout.
Really?
Yeah.
Is the most annoying.
Which, to be fair, was my class of choice when I played my...
That was your style?
Yo, yeah.
Riot Shield plus throwing knife.
So you're kind of advocating for their style?
In video games.
In the same way that I would never be at a town.
But if you were in the Israeli army, you would have more honor.
I would go and naked, no order.
What I would do is I would go into that tunnel
with the shield crouching and then just the throwing knife
Uh-huh, and then I'm invincible and then they waste all their ammo. Is that like that's like a hack
It's like playing as the the little guy and in it's extremely I mean and in what it golden I yeah, I job
I job and I remember it being people would get very You get in the lobby afterwards and you get very upset.
And they're like, the fuck, you fucking ride
to your fucking faggot?
Yeah.
Why don't you come meet me and I say,
I went, I lived in Texas.
Do you think the Hamas guys are like that?
When I lived in Texas,
and I'm like, you get put on Texas servers
and you play with Texas Wiggers.
Yeah.
I'd be like me and my partners.
Hot.
Yeah. Those guys are the best. Paul Walls. Yeah, yeah, be like me and my partners. Partner. Yeah.
Those guys are the best Paul Walls.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause they can't say the, they don't say the N word.
You know who you probably played with?
You say partner.
Partner.
Yeah.
You know you probably played with Post Malone.
Oh really?
Yeah, he was from Dallas and he's sick nasty at Call of Duty.
Really?
I saw a video of it.
Did he die?
No, he's great.
Oh. Yeah, he's great. He's starting a lot of raising
Cain franchises these days. He's also going more acoustic singer, songwriter, less hip-hop these days.
Which for some reason I like much better. Yeah, I don't know why I always think that guy's dead.
Post Malone? I'm a big fan. I like him a lot. Yeah, but don't know why I always think that guy's dead post Malone. I'm a big fan. I like them all.
Yeah, but there's some there's like a death aura around them
There's a loneliness about him. I'm not talking about his mood or his disposition. I mean just based on his like sort of cosmic place
But what what gives you that vibe? It's just a vibe thing. I don't know
It's like you see a color surrounding you.
You know, so you know, people are always like,
oh, Abe Vagoda's dead.
Uh-huh.
And I'm a sort of like that with him.
Really?
Like, nothing.
I hope it's not dead.
It has nothing to do with his mood.
It has nothing to do with him or his career.
It's a big, it's a big calm down thing.
Oh, is he?
Huge.
I'm not even saying anything critical.
I'm saying there is a death or a... Probably hurt.
What?
He probably doesn't listen to the show anymore.
It's less good.
Oh, yeah.
But that would probably hurt his feelings.
He probably loves you.
It really is fucking annoying that we didn't make more money off come town.
Why?
Because it was popular.
Now it's bad.
And I don't think the amount of money that we have is...
Enough?
Right.
That's really the...
Because here's the other problem too money that we have is enough. Right.
That's really the audience's goal of that.
Because here's the other problem too, is we also sold out.
You know what I mean?
We haven't sold out because we're still independent.
We're still indie.
Yeah, but we sold it.
Look, first of all, this episode is brought to you by Nike.
Yes, Nike and iPhone.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's knowing to sell out and then not get it.
Brother, we have not even begun selling out yet.
We have a lot of selling out to do.
And I think that was a commitment both of us made.
Because in life, there's two paths you can take as an artist, right?
You can either sell out and you're like, ah, I hate this thing.
It's not funny anymore, but at least I got millions
and millions of dollars.
Or you can be a guy that failed.
And you're like, at least I'm fucking sell out.
At least I got my integrity.
You could be like, yeah, I'm gonna die from a splinter.
The way of the Samurai.
I stepped on a rusty nail and that ended my life
because I live in abject poverty
from wasting my entire young adulthood
on the arts right now and now I'm 40
and I don't know how to type.
Well that has nothing to do with your life.
I'm 40 and I'm putting proficiency
and Microsoft Word on a resume.
And I submit there.
Well, that's not your life.
Your life is...
Nick is an incredible touch typist
that the audience doesn't know that.
Also, he's got girl handwriting.
I don't know if we've ever said that on the show before.
You think I have girl handwriting?
I think you have girl handwriting.
It's beautiful.
It's so tidy.
Your personality is messy handwriting guy. No, I mean, I have like clean handwriting but I don't think It's so tidy. Your personality is messy handwriting guy.
No, I mean, I have like clean handwriting,
but I don't think it's girl handwriting.
Dude, write a sentence right now on this paper.
I don't have a pen.
Adam, can we get a pen?
Let's get the note down here.
I'm not saying that in a mean way.
I'm saying this as a compliment.
Folks, y'all already know it's coming.
Dueling handwriting analysis in just a moment.
As soon as the notebook is out here and this motherfucker wants to start with me on
No, it's not a criticize. No, no. First of all, you did let's put a let let the games begin
Okay, he puts a heart over every I and J lowercase J
Girl handwriting. What does that mean? Let's try the most obvious joke.
You write what I saw, I opened a notebook recently
it said Mrs. Adam Friedland, Mrs. Adam Friedland, Mrs.
you wrote like fuck.
I was trying to fucking forge your mom's
social security survivor.
She's not my what?
Yeah, I was trying to steal the money.
I was trying to steal the money you get
for your damn mom, Madam Godwin.
She's not Mrs. Adam Friedland, you were writing that because you said, and you said,
am I going to live in a mansion, a house, an apartment,
or sewage?
What sentence are you writing?
I'm writing Mrs. Adam Friedland.
OK.
Mrs. Can you see that?
Mullen.
Should I write a big?
Should I write a big? OK, here. Hold on. Let me write a big? Should I write a big?
Okay, here.
Hold on, let me write a big so that the camera can see.
All right, so let's do a little comparison.
I don't love my handwriting.
Let's go ahead, Ryan.
I don't love my handwriting.
Go up to your camera so they can see.
I don't need to, I've to your camera so they can see.
I've read it big so they can see.
Let's, why sad?
That's fine.
You're punching in?
So I'll write it bigger.
And then let's, this is my impression of Adam's signature.
I changed my signature.
I decided it was embarrassing. He decided it was embarrassing.
I came up with it when I was in eighth grade.
Oh, you're not doing my actual.
All right, this is my handwriting.
What are your sandwich?
What are your sandwich?
Yeah, that's something, I mean, it's just,
so do some analysis on my handwriting. I mean, it's funny. It's like you look at this
What do you make of that if I were an FBI profiler? I would say this man has no internal analog whatsoever
What do you mean you think I'm just an empty vessel? This is just a fucking yeah
This is this looks like a Chinese person copied letters out of
out of like a school workbook with no understanding
of the meaning behind them.
I know what that says.
These just means.
There's no irony there.
There was a genuine sentence that I wrote genuinely with a brain full.
Oh, wow.
Here's a Chinese.
Here's the Adam's signature. That's the Adam's signature.
That's Adam's, that's how Adam's signature looks.
What is it? That's cool. It's hip-hop style. It's every letter. No, that's graffiti hip-hop style.
Every letter is a different type of nose.
That's pretty good. Yeah, it is good.
It was good.
The M is really good.
It's like, what's his name?
The comic strip.
What's his name?
Izzy.
No, no, Izzy.
What was that comic strip?
Uh, um.
There was a guy, about a guy with a nose like that. Ziggy. Ziggy.
Fuck.
How's your spelling?
Oh fuck, I spelled it wrong again.
Am I spelling?
Yeah.
I'm bad spiller
that's also another thing that I mean I gotta get another I get getting
the right alright analyze this analyze this FBI FBI. Hey. You're a...
Hey, you're looking at my penis.
Oh, that's good.
Hey, walkin' to therapy.
Hey, fuck.
Oh, yeah, I know that.
I have a penis.
I need the parents.
I have a penis, guys.
I have a penis.
Can you fuck me?
Do you know that the sopranos,
and that came out like within three months.
Analyze penis.
Analyze penis.
Yeah.
They were both about Mofiiosos showing their penis to Billy.
Well, now I have both notebooks here.
I don't know what's going on.
Let me see your hand, right?
I want to do a little analysis.
Oh, okay.
I am Jody Foster in South of the limbs.
Mr. Lactar.
Mr. Lactar.
Mr. Lactar. Mr. Lactar Mr. Lector, Mr. Lector, Mr. Lector, that man next door
threw a comb on me. I'm terribly sorry, I love how he had good manners. How was your
meeting that Anthony, what's Anthony healed? Is the head of the hospital? How was your meeting
with that to Lector? I was pretty good, but the guy next to him
threw a comb on my face.
Yeah, I just wanna let you know before I get out of here,
there's man in the cell next to a handable collector.
He threw a comb.
He threw a handful of comb in my face.
And I am an FBI agent, so.
Absolutely, confess to Nick. I'm glad. Here you so. I have something to confess to Nick.
Why?
Here you go.
I beat off at the office, yesterday.
Why?
Why would you tell me that?
Because I gotta be honest.
Why'd you wear?
Adam left, I got a horny for a minute.
Beat off into a paper towel.
But in the bathroom.
In the bathroom.
But where?
Onto a paper towel.
On the couch you be?
No, in the utility room standing.
In my chair. Not in your utility room standing. In my chair.
Not in your chair, standing.
And I caught all the cum.
I just feel like I have to be honest.
I still want you to be honest with the audience.
I don't want you putting your bare ass on my chair.
I'm not doing that to jerk off.
I'm doing that in a kind of a January 6 style.
Oh, Nancy Pelosi.
See how he likes this.
I really can only, you can only hope
that Nancy Pelosi's been getting like fucked up UTIs from that guy's from the guy. Yeah,
that she's just getting that she's still to this day. She's had, she's had pink eyes.
My pussy. She's that pink eye for three years. My pussy stinky again. And that's because
she's just getting still shit
particles on the desk.
Wait, so is this sentence the handwriting sample
like standard sentence?
It's the one that to demonstrate a font.
A font.
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
Okay, so because I...
It has every letter in there.
Because I said that he has girl handwriting.
He's trying to do this more guy style.
But it's still...
That's all my handwriting.
No, it's still girl.
Have me write it.
Have me look.
I'll do it with my left hand.
You do B this style?
What?
That's a lower case.
No, I do a B like that.
What are you doing?
You're just doing art always?
Let me see.
You wrote an uppercase B small.
That's how you write B.
That's an uppercase.
That's too creative. That's an uppercase B small? That's how you write B. That's an uppercase. That's too creative.
That's an uppercase B.
Brown is not a proper noun.
The quick brown fox.
All the letters in there are uppercase.
I only write uppercase letters.
What are you fucking Pablo Picasso?
Look at how I write.
I'm not a federal needs lowercase letter.
You only write an upper?
Yeah, I've always done that.
Really?
When society zigs, you zag. You just have a choice. I mean I've always had that. Really? When society zigs use that.
You just have a choice.
I mean, you don't have a choice.
If you want to get an A and write penmanship class.
I don't think, let me see if I can even remember how to.
You don't know lowercase.
Do you remember cursive?
Yeah, this is weird.
I haven't done this since.
I'm gonna do cursive, for real.
I haven't seen. Oh, this is like a loopy.
Shit, this looks crap. Why do they teach cursive? Yeah, that's what lowercase looks like if I write it. But I don't recognize that.
It doesn't look like my handwriting to me.
Wow.
You know, you should've been an architect.
You have very architectural handwriting.
My dad is lovely handwriting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm gonna write, dear Dari.
Don't come on.
Dear.
You don't know his internal.
Diary.
It's me.
Come on, he's a good man.
Max.
Oh, parenthesis.
The homo, by the way.
Stay fit.
Come on.
Let's keep that between us.
I'm gonna call him right now and tell him what you're doing.
The homo, by the way. He cares a lot about you, Nick. Let's keep that between us. I'm gonna call him right now and tell him what you're doing. The Homo, by the way.
He cares a lot about you, Nick.
Let's keep that one between us.
A. O. Diary Powell.
Oh, okay, because this is a secret diary
no one's allowed to see it.
Yeah, right, you've got to be funny.
That's really fun.
That one.
I would never speak this way about your father.
From my lips.
I would respect him.
From my lips to God's penis. Okay.
Well, that's it for the day.
Just checking in to let you know I'm gay.
Sincerely, Adam's dad.
So mean, dude.
He's a good guy. All right, this is my cursive. No, he, he's a good guy.
All right, this is my cursive.
No, he, I had a, he was watching the podcast
pretty consistently.
What do you think about my cursive?
Didn't he already do this back when Dave was,
no, we did drawings, we did drawings.
Okay.
Yeah, let me see what my cursive looks like.
Okay.
I don't know if he's been a, if I remember cursive.
Yeah, I don't.
Yeah, because you were like lighting fires in the back of class.
Yeah, no, I mean, like, what's the, how do you do like the cue?
Like the cue is like, uh, upper cue is a two.
Yeah, it's a two or something.
It's a two with a little loopy bottom.
What a useless talent.
Oh, Nick, I have a good idea for the rest of the podcast.
What? What a useless talent. Oh, Nick, I have a good idea for the rest of the podcast. Oh, what?
We try to prove that telepathy is real, right?
Uh-huh.
And you and I both think of a word.
We'll both write it down.
And then we'll see if we thought of the same word.
I'm going to start doing this.
Like, uh, do we ever read?
I'm doing like the Benjamin Franklin asses too.
What was that?
Like the F's.
Let me see.
Hold on.
Hey.
You really should have gone to one of those like Montesouris.
Oh yeah.
That shit. Is that cursive? That's really bad. That's shit. Oh yeah. That shit dude.
Is that cursive?
That's really bad.
That's shit.
I don't know cursive.
That's really crap.
Let me see.
Let me try again.
Let me try again.
Why was that guy at John Hancock like that, you know?
You think everyone else is like,
this guy's fucking sucks.
All right.
Do we have a read or no?
I want to give back to penmanship episode.
All right.
Is it now the time for the read?
No, I thought we have to do it at a slot.
I'll do the read now.
Is that cursor?
Yeah, it's terrible, cursor. I don't know, cursor. I'll do this and read now. Is that Kursa?
Yeah, it's terrible Kursa. I don't know Kursa.
Yeah, you weren't paying attention.
I don't know the lowercase letters either.
You brighten all caps.
Why not? That's so artistic.
No, a lot of people do.
No one does.
Everyone in my family does.
Really?
You write to know.
You do?
I think most artists do. I'm not
nervous. Exactly. I went. I'm a conformist. Alright, the... Guys, the episode is
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This is Alex Huggins handwriting that I found on here.
Let me see.
It's so much identical to mine.
We have the same error.
It's more boy.
And what what?
Who did this drawing?
I wasn't here.
Alex, yeah, Alex had that. We were on my back. Yeah, yeah. is more boy and what what? Who did this drawing? I wasn't here.
Alex, yeah, Alex had that.
We were on my back.
Yeah, yeah.
He drew a Stephen.
It's not funny to do if I'm not here.
I always had drawing of you too.
Yeah, yeah.
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With Blutu, men everywhere are excited to see the postman.
It's a little sus.
What?
With Blutu, men everywhere are excited to see the postman.
Is that movie even horny?
Oh, Kevin Costner.
That was a bad movie.
All right, wait, is that really in the copy?
Yeah, well, they're excited to see the Postman
because he's bringing their dick pills,
but they mean the mailman.
This is written by like a British person.
But the Postman was also like the lady.
This is what I don't understand.
It's like these companies, like, you know,
like we've been working with Bluetooth for years, right?
And for most part, like they give us like autonomy.
But when you talk to these like sponsors,
they put their marketing people on the phone,
and they're like, oh, this is exactly what we need.
Meanwhile, they're hiring some British person to write this.
It's like, oh, you'll be so happy to see the postman.
The postman.
It's like, then every American person,
who, and let's be honest, there's not that many British people
who listen to, I don't even know who the fuck.
It's just your dad is watching my dad watches about
100 a hundred thousand times is your dad's you own person watches the show. Yeah, and he does it on different
But I guess he is British so maybe they know more than he's not proper British. He lived in there. Oh, he's just Ray
He's
Indigenous he's in digist to South Africa
He's indigenous to... He's indigenous to South Africa.
My family are indigenous.
To South Africa and...
We are Zulu.
We're Kosa.
Yeah.
We're not indigenous to Israel.
Yeah.
Oh, this is the second half of the census.
It gets better.
Excited to see the postman,
because when your package has arrived,
your package has arrived. So the mailman because when your package has arrived your package has arrived
So this the mailman is bringing your penis. Yeah, right to you your package is right meaning it's like it's an arrival like it's secure
This is the moment your dick's been waiting for
But also the postman for my understanding is that the joke is that you know that your child looks like the postman, right?
The postman historically was some guy that was fucking wives all well everyone's that world war two
He got a def he got four H or whatever it's called and he was just zephylis I
Think yeah, yeah, yeah because he was banging like a four-age club. What's that stand for?
It's banging like, what is the 4-H club? What's that stand for? It's for like a, Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone.
Hormone. Hormone. Hormone. Hormone. Hormone. So, you're in a club at school to be like, I remember it being, we're making a pig 800 pounds.
I remember being a kid and hearing 4-H club.
And without any information,
deciding my brain,
because my brain's done this with a lot of things
in my life saying,
I'm never going to know with that.
I'm not going to know.
I'm just going to not learn.
I don't need no part of that.
And there's other things like that,
whereas a kid, it was like,
yeah, just don't learn.
Don't, it seems like it's not important.
Don't ever know what this is.
I don't know if I can spell restaurant. That's like a, that's a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, like an auto correct. I think it's wrong every time I write it.
Star, stow-er, A-U.
Huh?
That's a petri-spit.
I think so.
I think yeah.
Old genius, two geniuses.
Yeah.
You know, two geniuses.
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I definitely saw that movie.
Being like the males here, whatever the fuck happens.
I think it was post-pop-alips.
I know it's raining, but the male's here.
Yeah. Your package has run.
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Welcome to my dick.
You see, he destroyed his marriage
by doing too much cowboy movies?
Really?
That's what I think happened.
He was beating the shit out of me.
He wasn't beating his wife.
He just was never home,
because he's like,
he's spending the whole time doing like yellow stuff.
Girls are so annoying.
It's her fault.
Yeah, probably.
I blame her.
That's probably the reality.
Can you imagine how cool it would be
to be exclusively a cowboy actor?
Mm-hmm.
I mean, well, because there was something,
there was something about like the divorce papers
or whatever the court, you know, like the celebrity news
where they just, for some reason, like TMZ reporters
are allowed access to celebrity divorce.
Like, I guess that's just how the courts work.
I don't know.
That should be sealed.
If it's presented as evidence in a trial,
I guess it's public.
Yeah.
But, yeah, it's like her lawyers were like,
well, she needs $750,000 every month
for buying purses for the children.
She got it.
It's some, it was massive amount of money.
Dalmony and child support is insane.
She's like, our children are used to,
because the argument is that like,
they're standard of living.
Well, they don't, yeah, exactly. If you get a divorce, it's like, he's a movie star. So then the kids are that like their standard of living. Well, they don't, yeah, exactly.
If you get a divorce, it's like he's a movie star.
So then the kids are gonna like him more
because when they're with him,
they can go do movie star reshimp and then with her.
She's just some like, you know, fucking lady that spends money.
I don't know, like, which hell is he?
Which honestly, it seems like it's gonna backfire
because your kids are gonna grow up and they're gonna be like, oh yeah, my mom is just a parasite.
Who's her mom?
Who's their mom?
I don't think she did.
She literally doesn't.
What if it's Madeline Olbrich?
It was a very impressive woman.
It was a woman.
It's not Madeline Olbrich.
She's that, I looked into it.
It's not her.
You were like it.
It's not the prime minister of either.
She's you either.
It's not Janet Reno.
It's not that Italian lady that's
the sexy fascist.
Yeah, she's right, right?
It's surprising she doesn't have more power globally
than she does.
The sexy fascist?
Yeah, just like a fucking like,
well, you know what she could do?
Get only fans take back shots.
I don't know the lady like that doesn't need to.
She, people love backshocks.
Yeah, videos.
That's the kind of lady that like literally everyone you talk
into or you think I'm like, can I fuck this lady?
You know, like because she's just Italian.
She's just being Italian.
She's smoking cigarettes and being Italian.
And you're like, is this lady trying to fuck me?
Of course, dude.
Is she?
Yeah, probably.
Have you seen the Rocco Sifrelli documentary? The one about that Italian porn star guy?
No. But there's a really there's a really funny scene.
Is it Errol Morris? Yeah, I think it's a no, it's a
a landsman, the guy that did show a cloud landsman.
There's a scene where he talks about fucking like he's so Italian that it's like
the passion that he has for like like he's so Italian that it's like the passion that he has for it.
Like he's a sculptor and it's this marble.
Like just fucking his art or whatever.
And for some reason it sounds tight because he's Italian.
But then there's a scene of him like,
I guess his grandma's friend when he was a little kid.
It would be cool to have if Aron Morris did it
and while he's speaking,
like one of those like Aron Morris, like artistic and while he's speaking, like one of those, like Aril Morris,
like artistic kind of reenactments inserted,
and it's just sort of a man standing in a black room,
just, you know, like with a low-key lighting,
and he's just standing there expressionless
and his penis is getting hard.
And it's a guy that looks like him as, you know,
Sephiron he's talking. That would be a very know, Sepherty's talking.
That would be a very arrow, Morris.
It's awesome.
Yeah, that would be an awesome idea.
Yeah, well, there's like a scene where he describes,
I think it was this grandma's story.
Arrow is a funny name.
You know what I'm thinking about?
You know what's crazy is that
there's grandma's friend, folks, he's like 12.
Yeah, is that, that's it.
There was a Supreme Court justice name Clarence Thomas,
a black guy named Clarence Thomas. That's awesome. Because I mean, already just was a Supreme Court justice named Clarence Thomas, a black guy named Clarence Thomas.
That's awesome.
Because I mean, already just becoming a Supreme Court justice to black guy, that's a big deal.
That's a big deal.
That's any guy.
Has anybody, but you know, black people or whatever, that's face adversity and stuff.
But being a black guy named Clarence also, like to become a Supreme Court, that guy, usually
it's like, I'm a black guy named Clarence also. Like to become a Supreme Court. Like that guy, usually it's like,
like I'm a black guy named Clarence Thomas.
Like the number one thing you name for
is probably like annoying, retarded guy at the hobby store.
A guy yelling about how Tim Duncan
actually the best player of all time.
I'm not even that.
Not even that guy.
This is just Clarence.
Clarence, yeah.
Yeah.
You think at the hobby store?
He's just, yeah, he spent his whole childhood getting smacked in the back of his head by his mom.
Yeah.
For like, you know, like trying to cross the intersection through earlier.
I feel like there aren't young Clarences anymore. There's not. Yeah. Yeah.
Many became a Supreme Court justice. Well, you had to go, he had to go far right probably.
Mm-hmm. So account for all the challenges in the Supreme Court.
It's like the options were Supreme Court justice
are literally being radio.
For his name, radio's real name is probably very close to
Clarence Thomas.
I don't know his real name.
It's probably something like that.
We've got to look it up.
Check it out.
We've got to look it up.
It is probably Clarence Thomas.
Yeah.
Miss Clarence.
Yep.
His name is Clarence.
Wait, show me.
How do you always do that?
You knew that.
You knew radio's name was really?
That's stupid.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
No, you're not your producer.
Yes, and. No, you weren't. Yes, I was. I saw a picture of Clarence Thomas in a robe. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, you're pretty. Yes, and big.
No, you weren't.
Yes, I was.
I just saw a picture of Clarence Thomas in a robe.
No, yeah.
No, you thought that.
You really think I'm that.
You thought that was real.
Of course I thought it was real.
What is Radio's name?
I'm like an,
Radio disambiguation.
Films, so the subsections compete here, films, music,
see also, and mentally retarded people.
No, no, it's not.
Not to be confused with radio,
well, when neighborhood of Warsaw, Poland,
ooh, that's probably kind of a hip-hop style radio.
I hope Poland, your boyfriend,
like World War Three is about to happen again.
I hope Poland gets absolutely fucked in.
It's asked one more time.
What's your beef with the Polish?
It's just a stupid country.
Oh, yeah, we all know that.
But like, who are they hurting?
Honestly, I had no problem with them
until I saw the name of that neighbor who was just
a second out.
I told you, I say you that article
of their army in World War I, right?
Yeah. The Polish military, so funny.
They just put on capes
and just walked into machine gunfire.
I don't, I mean, I don't get why,
why are they the worst whites?
Like what's the genesis of that?
Like Dutch people are pretty, pretty like stupid too, you know?
James Kennedy, that's radio's real name. Oh, so he's a Kennedy.
Yeah, he's a Kennedy. Can you imagine killing that Kennedy? Can you imagine how funny that
would be if they somebody shot radio in the head in the 60s and then because the road like yeah it goes to the CIA and he's like mission accomplished
you're like humans certainly what they're like not that Kennedy
raw heartbook and I'm a real big laugh about that over Langley I can tell you that yeah
he's like I know where is you thought that that the... I thought he was one of these several rights guys,
are you right?
Yeah.
You're right.
You shot radio.
You shot radio in the head.
Oh, oh, oh, coach.
My noggin hurts.
Yeah.
Oh, coach.
He survived.
Yeah.
He lives a long time radio.
He only died like two years ago.
Really?
Yeah.
Good for him.
Yeah.
Did he look exactly like Cuba good?
No, I look nothing like him.
He actually looked like Claire and Sonna's gonna...
Did he?
James Kennedy radio.
Why was his name radio?
No, actually he did look.
I said that as a joke, but I do remember.
He does look like Claire and Sonna. Kind of Oh, he looks, he looks almost identical to Claire
and Thomas, honestly. No, that's 100% true. Yeah, that's Claire and Thomas. How did you
do that? That's actually impressive. Yeah. And then radio. And then what do you say black guy radio football?
Oh yeah, radio football real life.
Radio.
Do you know T.
T. C. Hannah.
What was the name of the fucking high school?
Adam, can you turn your pack around?
What?
No, no, Ginsburg just taxed me. All right. Did I, is the audio fuck James?
Ginsbur is the audio fuck? All right. Anyways, yeah, at folks playing along at home, you
can look up radio. Yeah. James Robert Kennedy killer. You guys are really gonna get a kick out of this one.
Yeah.
Especially all of our British fans who know exactly
who Clarence Homeson.
You think everyone around the world
like knows all of our shit?
Yeah, we're America.
Yeah.
You know what's funny?
It's like, you talk about dying empires.
And America is just like,
first of all, we live in a hot culture, right?
Like sexy?
Well, we're pop, no, not sexy,
but the world power is mostly based on what's hot.
It's popularity.
Assettox are now the most important thing in the world.
And I'd say the United States is too messy to ever really.
Like the world is never going to want to pay attention what's going on in China.
Yeah, I don't care.
It doesn't matter how good their economy does, how powerful their military is.
I'll learn ping.
Right, nobody's going to learn one guy.
Nobody's going to know the vice president.
Yeah, or like fucking like who, like, oh oh the cast of of of
Croshing Tiger hidden dragon they're cheating on each other nobody cares about
He just won't ever Like we have like there's never gonna be a Chinese version of Jersey short
We're the coolest closest they got was that guy the drank beer that was like their number one that guy was awesome
It was a guy the drank beer and they took him away from us. Yeah, they knew he was like, you have a problem.
Mm-hmm.
Diff sucks.
Yeah.
He was awesome that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, they're not messy.
They're not messy enough.
It's not even messy.
It's cool enough.
What, America?
Yeah, we're awesome.
Our culture is awesome.
We don't really have a culture, do we?
Rock and roll, dunking.
Yeah.
Radio. Radio? Yeah. Oh, pretty much the
title shit. Net song radio, uh, googoo by Queen. Were they making fun of this guy? Was that
was that for is that why you got AIDS is like it was like a karma thing. I think like discriminated
groups like will often turn on each other. Yeah. And like the AIDS rock star is turned on mentally.
Because the lyrics are like all out here.
Like radio is goo goo.
Yeah.
Fugaga.
I'm a stupid baby.
It's really mean.
Yeah, it's a mean song.
I'm glad you're still.
Yeah.
Radio Gaga.
What a stupid song.
Yeah, actually it's a great song.
No, no, no, no, no great song. I don't even know it.
It's about a little boy growing up in the 40s
being in love with his radio.
Oh, it sounds like they're you kind of saying.
I didn't listen to the radio.
Yeah, but you're not from the four air raid sirens.
You're not in the NBA.
And then the first one, love regard.
First of all, I didn't even know I liked air raid sirens
until I was about 23
years old. So you considered like a bar mitzvah kind of like becoming a man a little bit.
No, I just did by chance. I had an afternoon mark. I got really into them. And I'm like,
I guess I love air raids. So you identify that as an adult interest because you did
it. It's a grown up interest. I would hear them sometimes as a kid you're not sometimes like a volunteer Fire Department will have one or like like a tornado siren and in the hockey stadium with this score goal. No, these are air horns
They do them the sirens in sports games home runs now get them they have an air raise. Yeah, it's pretty pimp
now get them? They have an air raise. Yeah, it's pretty pimp. No, I just had an afternoon watching YouTube videos when I was 23. And then I was like, I just had memories of being
a kid and hearing. I remember staying in my cousin's house one time and hearing one
out of the distance. And I was like, that's fucking awesome.
And they had them now for the closets for Shabbat. Yeah, they've had to have always had that.
That's not new. Well, we, I'm saying we haven't lived in New York
our whole lives.
But now that we live here, they have them for the Chaucets.
Yeah, but we hear them for the Chaucets.
We've been in New York a decade and you think like 10 years
were like, I was actually in Jamel this.
Yeah, even though he's not from New York.
He's black, he's black.
He's from New York, he's black. Yeah, all black people's not from years. He's Black. He's Black. He's from New York.
He's Black.
Yeah.
All Black people are from New York.
Tim's Yankee fitted 10 years.
I feel like.
Oh, but you're not from Uptown.
You probably have spent zoo Yankee's games don't count.
The amount of time you spent Uptown is...
In the Bronx?
Yeah.
I'm going to Arthur out sometimes.
Yeah, even that doesn't count either. The but Hanukkah Garden no no destination like how
much time have you spent hanging out uptown hang out the Dominicans smoke
kuca mm-hmm are they still wearing tins up there yeah they are everyone's
wearing tins no that's not a Brooklyn thing.
Brooklyn people were Tim's.
But it's not like, I feel like it's an uptown thing.
It's a Brooklyn spread lot.
First of all, it's a Brooklyn thing, okay.
Where I am Ford Green.
I did my time.
You live next to like a baby, like the gangster baby
close store.
Right now I live closer.
I went out of business.
Thank God.
I really hope that those that family took out
like a half a million dollar loan.
Just being like, yeah, now that my job is being a vice
photographer has dried up, like this is gonna be like,
me and my wife, we just know this is our taste.
Just blew their inherited wealth.
Yeah, right.
She's gone.
They have to leave New York after 23 years of being here.
They go to a shit hole.
Yeah.
Because their gangster baby's story.
They're gay, yeah, right.
I'm gonna try the gangster baby business in Hudson
where they appreciate me a little bit more.
Are Gen Z people moving to New York?
I guess they have to be.
It's out in Bushwick, is there like a whole rack?
I think it's still Bushwick.
It's still Bushwick.
It's still Bushwick.
I think it's still Bushwick.
I don't want to see it.
It would honestly be nauseating to look at it.
I was never a Bushwick guy.
I never hang out there.
I lived there first and I was like, this is nauseating.
Mm-hmm.
No, we went to, we saw that in Maria Hernandez Park
that guy was pissed off skating.
But that was 10 years ago.
10 years ago.
Yeah.
You remember we were playing settlers at Coton?
And we figured out my old roommates fetish.
The ticolink?
No, the ticolink.
That much had been you in Ward, Alabama.
No, Ward, Ward, he's not smart enough to play a solo.
We were not playing a ton of your house.
I'll tell you who we were playing with.
Who?
Old, old, old, praxis, old, old jakey.
That was at the three of us were playing,
no, it was not at the Korean guys house.
I was at the Korean guys house.
No, you were playing Call of Duty that day.
Why?
We were playing Katan in my apartment in Bushwick and then we heard the girl from the room
dying of laughter and then you were like, is he tickling her? I was like, yeah, I guess I hear
girls dying of laughter every night and then I realized he was a tickle fetish. I think not
somebody else was there. I don't think it was me. What? I know for a fact it was you, because you figured it out. You didn't have Katan.
I had Katan.
I didn't have the expansion pack.
I had the three to four players.
I have the expansion pack.
I got the expansion pack a couple of years ago.
I was like, I'm gonna get board games.
I'm rich now.
I'm gonna have board games.
And I got the expansion pack.
And never I haven't even played the regular game.
Could you imagine, now for five or six players,
I have to make six friends.
Can you imagine ruining that many people's night?
Dude.
Like if you invite six people over to your house,
and then once they're there,
you're like, we're playing Catan
with the expansion pack.
Can you imagine being that much of a just a just a social
just a bad vampire loser just an awful yeah.
It's kind of akin to when my friends now wife
tried to put on the Hamilton.
I'm trying to.
No, she put on Hamilton while we were pre pre gaming.
My friend was dating this girl.
Now they're married.
And she put on Hamilton.
She's like, we all like rap, don't we? Oh my god. I was like, it is. No, but you know, it's
worse. It's like playing the Contents. You can relate that you can be like, oh my god, this
bitch put on Hamilton. You can laugh about her later. If you were like, I feel like it's
possible. There's five of them. They got to the kitchen, the expansion. You know it was worse, it was my house.
Really?
She had no right.
She had no right at my house.
And I wanted to be nice,
because my friend just started dating this girl.
So I wanted to be a good friend.
She had no right.
They're married, who is it?
Who is it?
Ian Findance.
It's Ian Findance.
Ian's wife. It was a boyfriend at the time. No, it was his friend. Ian Foddance? It's Ian Foddance. Ian's wife?
It was a boyfriend at the time.
No, it was his wife.
Yeah.
Ian, I think it was Ian the jammed gum
under the cup that was on.
He was so badly behaved when he was here.
He thinks it's funny to destroy the studio.
He smokes cigarettes here.
I've never, yeah, you can see that.
The thing is, I don't know, understand what he's doing.
I've never been here when he's been here,
but it's like, he thinks it's funny to break, like just make a mess in here. I don't know, I understand what he's doing. I've never been here when he's been here, but it's like he thinks it's funny to break,
like just make a mess in here, I don't understand.
He's like, dude, it's like the 60s.
What if I fucking put gum under the cup and smoked
and burned things?
And well, he has to do that in order not to relive.
I'm a rebel without a call.
From what I understand, he has to.
Gosh.
I'm a rebel.
Gosh, I got a little knife.
He should have a one inch blade.
He was bragging to us about how we don't understand
what it's like on the streets of Newport, Delaware.
He's like, you don't understand the crackhead,
the punks, the gossips, the queers.
Uh-huh.
Is he having like a Delaware moment
because of Joe Biden he has to like be like,
no, I'm Mr. Delaware.
I'm not going to.
Maybe it's that, maybe Biden has brought out
a new monster inside of Ian.
Yeah.
I would hope not.
I would hope not.
In that case, I'm going Trump.
Yeah.
In that case.
Do you ever think that we're living in a simulation
but the point of the simulation isn't humanity.
It's just were like subroutines in the program,
and the thing is just designed to study E and finance.
Yeah.
That like we're just like basically agents.
We are all the other people in Truman show.
Yeah, I'm like, yes, so we don't know we're in the dome,
right?
We don't know where in. Well, I would say we're more like the programs
from like Matrix 2.
Like I will always manifest.
We're everyone else.
I'm the little Chinese guy with all the keys.
I'm Joe Pantilly.
Gone, what's the name?
No, that's see, that was a human that got taken.
I said Matrix 2.
Yeah, but I would be Matrix.
I would be human, sorry.
No, you're not human.
You don't understand how fully I live like.
It seems to me-
You don't understand the vigors.
Mr. Friedland, you have lived two lives.
You are kind of agents with.
No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
Why, I have no interest in maintaining an order.
Everybody has a wrong read about on me, yourself,
first and foremost.
You're the wheelchair black guy.
I am neither, I am neither a lawn-order guy,
nor am I like a chaotic.
You're the bug robots.
Huh?
You're the mean bug robots that you have to do
a EMP pulls to kill.
The sentinels.
The sentinels?
No.
Who are you then, and Matrix?
The Chinese guy with all the keys.
I'm Neum.
The keymaker.
I'm the keymaker.
The guy is cool.
Yeah.
Wait, he's from like 80s comedies that guy know?
He's in the door.
No, it's not data.
It's not?
That's not short round.
It's not short round?
No.
I'm just racist.
Yes. He's the premiere of China?
Yeah, President Xi.
He's the Japanese prime minister.
That was, I feel like it didn't get enough attention when that guy built a gun and killed
the ex prime minister of Japan with like a like PVC pipes and stuff.
That's pretty fucking crazy.
Yeah. Like the game, what's pretty fucking crazy. Yeah.
Like the game, what's the game fallout?
No, I'm only looking at it.
I've definitely said that before.
Keymaker matrix two.
So I played by Randall Duck Kim.
Oh, I know who you are actually.
Oh, you're the lady, the Mayor of Vingyan
makes bust in her pants. Yeah, and I'm the French bath.
I'm the French pervert that makes you makes you cream from a dessert.
No, I'm looking at this film on Randall Kim. What is he in?
He was in Torotora, Torotora, but as an extra.
Oh.
And then he wasn't in a movie until 1995.
He's Harold though.
And what?
Harold and Kumar go to White Castle.
Yeah, he's in the Thid Red line.
Amazing.
As uncredited, you know.
Anna and the King of the Nye, he plays General alak. He plays shoe in the lost empire.
He plays the keymaker and matrix reloaded.
He plays Dr. Krab in memoirs of a gaysha.
Let's keep going.
Year of the fish, Kung Fu Panda.
Oh, he's Master Uguay.
Who what?
Kung Fu Panda.
Shout out to the Kung Fu Panda.
Have you ever seen that movie?
I've never seen it.
Master Uguai is so funny.
I'm taking his a turtle.
Is Jack Black?
No.
Is, yeah.
So Master Uguai is the turtle who's like,
so there's like the one Kung Fu Master's little raccoon guy.
And so he's the one who has to train Kung Fu Panda
and he's reluctant to do it. train Kung Fu Panda. And he's like, we're locked in to do it.
But his master is an old Chinese turtle,
who doesn't really do much karate anymore.
He's just like, like, this beard of the forest.
Like Yoda.
Yeah, basically.
But they animate him in a way.
They're like, make this turtle.
Chinese.
Just fucking chai-ass.
Like, crank it through a las- He co-landers co-pilot.
Well, he's like, he's like shaking the whole time,
but he's always like licking his lips
in like a very old Chinese guy way.
He's like, you are more of a side.
Remember the A.
And it's the key maker doing this, the key maker.
So sick.
Yeah, master,
move away.
Yeah, these are,
master away.
Yeah, let me look at this fucking guy.
He's squinting.
Do you remember the,
I mean, I like this.
He's like,
they're like, yeah,
make it like what would a,
what would a turtle doing a racist impression
of a Chinese guy look like?
That's so funny.
Do you remember the Jewish turtle in Rocco's modern life?
Philbert, his best friend.
I'm nolicious.
It is not even a boy.
Can you trust it with a secret to the limitless power
to become the dragon warrior.
As to old Gwe, you summoned me, it's something wrong.
I just wanted to see who the dragon warrior was.
How interesting.
I'm a 17-year-old.
And for me to want to see my old friend.
Master, are you pointing at me?
Yeah, well, that's like the other thing too,
is like the movie is, they're all in China. Right. And he's the only character that's like the other thing too, is like the movie is, they're all in China.
Right.
And he's the only character that's like Chinese.
Yeah, like the psych, like even Kung Fu Panda is Jack Black.
Yeah, it's cool.
And then the rest of them are like, you know, they have Chinese names or whatever.
But they're Americans.
Yeah, they all sound American.
And then there's one that's like, you're actually China.
I meant mental.
Yeah, the game.
Yeah. But it shows that he knows the most about karate and he's the wisest.
Mm-hmm.
He's Confucian.
You must believe.
No way.
Mm-hmm.
What do you mean, no way?
That's a line in the movie?
You must believe.
Oh, I thought he actually says, believe.
Kung Fu band is good, dude.
The first time I watched it, I was, it was when I first moved to Austin,
and the first thing I did as I bought an ounce of weed,
you bought a zip, which it was only $60.
So it was trash, it was the worst, I mean,
it was seeds, stems, off like a methatic lady.
Am I like, by my roommate who is like a ex-con brick layer,
brought me to some of the methatic s, so by now, we got this lady.
She's just like, 60 bones.
Yeah, I really like hold just a body made of cigarettes.
You know, she's like, yeah, I bought this fucking,
you know, this ounce of just dark green.
Like, there's no buds on it.
Yeah, right, exactly.
So I smoked the entire thing.
That weed sucks. Yeah, I was like, oh man, I it. Yeah, right, exactly. So I smoked the entire thing. That weed sucks.
Yeah, I was like, oh man, I might as well just get,
try to get as high as possible,
even though this is like making me feel like shit.
I gotta finish it.
And then I drove to the fries electronics next to my house
because I didn't really know what to do.
And when I moved down there, I was living like,
like actually pretty far outside of the city.
So I went to the fries electronics
where the front of the store just looks like a big grand piano.
So, yeah.
Especially when you're high.
Fries was a...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fries was an awesome store.
That's just definitely out of business.
Fries had everything.
Yeah.
It looked like a piano.
Yeah, it's only the one in Austin. What's the point of that
though? It's not a music shop. Yeah, it's that like a grand piano is the entrance. It's so cool. So
yeah, I went there and they had to like, you know, the home theater section and I kind of like
just stumbled in and you watched it there. I sat down and watched Kung Fu Panda there.
You know how many bars?
You hit the binger?
No.
I mean before.
I love that video of those guys at IKEA,
hitting Smokey Weed.
Yes.
And they're all like 12 and there's 165-year-old man
smoking with them.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Damn, maybe I'll watch Kung Fu Panda 2 tonight.
I wonder, where does it go?
Who's the bad guy?
The Huns, the Mongolians?
Yeah, it's, let's get down to business,
to defeat the Huns.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
Pfft.
This time is on the business.
Let's give these guys business to defeat all of the woman.
It looks a lot better.
She says it's a guy, but I'd still probably hit it.
What the hell were we talking about?
Frizelic Trunks?
I thought we were talking about Pedmon.
I miss stores.
You know what it's called when there's a retailer,
like you know when you go to a place
and they have a dick sporting goods and a best buy,
and like a beddaffin beyond.
Shopping center?
No, there's a called power centers.
No, yeah.
You never heard that.
They're called power centers.
By who?
By real estate developers.
Yeah. How do we get in on that? I feel like
talking my hair into my hat makes me look like I have breast cancer. It makes it, no, it
makes you look like you're a Sikh. Yeah. Yeah. Like you, I'd love to be Sikh. Apparently
at Toronto's just lousy with Sikhs. And just fucking, just drive Uber all day and never
get stressed out.
I'm like, traffic, great.
Sounds good to me.
Yeah.
Not even smoking weed.
Have you seen their symbol?
I've been wearing my bracelet and get a manicure
and I go home to my sword.
Yeah, their symbol has a sword in the middle.
It's fucking badass.
Yeah.
It looks like Klingon, kind of.
Yeah.
It looks like Alien, kind of like logo.
And they are the fucking like the seal of Iran
looks like Klingon to me. That's a similar kind of like logo. They are the fucking like the seal of Iran
looks like clinging onto me.
That's a similar kind of looking thing.
How do we help Iran out?
I think they're gonna kind of implode on their own.
They don't have money.
They're making nukes.
That's good.
That honestly, they're money, they're money over respect.
They're money will probably be fine.
Now they're China over respect. They're money will probably be fine. Now they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, they're, China has their
back.
China and Russia and Brazil.
Yeah.
So they'll be fine in an economic standpoint.
It's just, I don't know how much longer they can get away with having, they, the problem
will be prosperity because it's like, I don't think they can continue being like an Islamic
or public forever.
They just, they just did the thing, they hang people from a crane. because it's like, I don't think they can continue being like an Islamic Republic forever.
They just, they just did the thing. They hang people from a crane.
I don't think you can keep doing that.
Apparently, they catch you being gay, they give you a pussy.
Yeah, that's true.
That's a wild policy.
But like, there's hanging people for like throwing sandals
at a judge.
I mean, it's like, you can't do that.
Right, you can't.
They got to stop the executions
or pick a more humane way of executing people.
You can't do it with construction equipment.
For throwing a shoe, you shouldn't kill.
Yeah, well, I mean, you can kill,
but at least puts them like, are killing.
Your issue is the gear.
I'm against the death penalty.
But at least the way we do it is like,
I mean, California, they do like a mini-house sweats.
They have a gas chamber, you know, it know, I thought that was like Utah, no?
No, it's Cal.
They hang in Utah still.
They do fire range in Utah still.
Soamp.
Yeah, that's a bug.
Yeah, yeah.
That's probably the most humane way to die.
Instant.
Well yeah, you're like hard explodes basically.
Yeah.
It's basically like, you know, because it's five, it's like 10 bullets in the air,
it just blows out your heart.
They don't go headshot.
Mm-hmm.
But what if, you know, it'd be really scary
if they had five girls?
No.
And they all miss, and you're still alive.
The lethal connection is like,
that one gets botched all the fucking time
because they have to get like,
I know that.
They have to get like medicine from vets,
like expired medicine,
but it doesn't work all the time.
It doesn't work, and when it doesn't work,
it's like three drugs.
Like the barbitu, it's supposed to knock you out
so you can't feel any pain.
And then the next drug is basically just like salt
that like burns all your fucking like,
you wake up like screaming.
Well, yeah, I mean, it's like basically your blood
is fire if the barbituids don't work.
So then you're paralyzed and you can't scream
and you're just like, entire insides are burning.
I mean, it's like, it's fucking insane.
The electric chair is the same thing.
The electric...
The electric chair doesn't work all the time, man.
The electric chair is just, they're just, basically,
they're cooking you.
I think they put that into retirement.
The electric chair?
I'm pretty sure.
Well, there's still a lot of guys that choose the electric chair over the lethal injection.
Really?
Yeah.
Because they're metal.
I mean, if they keep the style of the style,
you should be able to pick whatever option
with style you want.
That's what I would say.
If I was ever a death wrong,
I'd be like, suck my dick to death.
That's what I was thinking myself to.
Honestly, if we did that game where we thought
of the same thing.
And it's hell, it's hell. We would have gotten it.
You want to see a telepathy?
You saw my dick to death.
All right, just choose a word.
I can write it and then we'll show the word
and it'll be the, I feel like.
Oh, we write the same word.
Pick a category.
Adam.
Tennis.
That's not a category.
I mean, it could.
But it's so limited. I mean, what?
Yeah, yeah, make it harder.
Like, you would say sports, and then tennis would be what we both wrote down.
Not tennis, and then we both write down a ball.
I'd rack you.
Yeah, right net
King Charles or King. What's it? I was gonna say this Richard King with the other move is perfect crime
You get that penalty final meal. Yes, eat the electric chair
Yeah, you said I want to eat that's what I want my meal
I want to eat the electric you die from heavy metal poison. No, you just eat the chair and then or you have a couple
But you eat the important parts and then, or you have a couple of, you eat the important parts,
and then you're like, oh, I'm stuffed.
And they're like, all right, well,
we're gonna have to postpone the execution.
I'm like, well, legally, I get another meal.
So, let me finish.
Let me know when the chair is fixed,
and then I'll have my actual final meal,
and I will be having the chair.
Right. Once again, I will be having the chair. So you Once again, I will be having the chair.
So you just have to eat chair for the rest of your life.
You indefinitely postpone your own execution
by eating the chair.
And then the entire time writing cruel letters
to the family of the eight-year-old you ran over.
Yeah.
Say, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Yeah, I'm sorry I murdered your son.
Not.
It wouldn't be.
It's said no one ever. Yeah, I'm sorry I murdered your son not it wouldn't
No one ever
That be so funny and sentencing to give the most so sorry I'll keep this shit and his friends think it's good. I'm so sorry to play tag in my yard
We can play okay, well, well let's keep playing.
Go ahead, keep playing tag, I said.
Now my 1995 Ford Bronco is also playing.
I thought we had a stand your ground law in this damn state.
I felt threatened.
Mm-hmm.
Your son was raping me with his eyes.
All right, let's do it.
Give us a better category.
Vashables. Vashables. That's not that one. Okay.
Fuck, it's not a vegetable.
I'm so stupid.
Where you put tomato down?
I put cucumber.
That's a vegetable.
But it's seeds.
Alright, first of all, I...
That's another thing I don't want to know.
You know what we were talking about earlier? I just don't want to know. You know what we were talking about earlier?
I just don't want to know which one is technically what?
Who cares?
Yeah, that's like a thing for,
that is very much a millennial thing.
Yeah, yeah.
This is Jim and Pam style.
All right, let's, okay, vegetable.
All right, so I wrote down broccoli.
I wrote down squash.
But I also drew broccoli around where I wrote it.
That's very creative.
That's very creative.
Okay, let's try again, second round, same with vegetable.
Now, we're gonna get a second round.
No, no, we'll see how many rounds we need.
What is this Supreme Court case that determines whether fruits or fruits and vegetables?
Is it next versus head in? 1890.
That's a real thing.
I think it is. I think it's a Supreme Court case.
It's next versus head in.
1893. Yeah. 1893.
Thanks Adam.
Thanks Adam.
Yeah, what I'm not going to respect the Supreme Court ever again after finding that out.
What a waste of time.
Okay, let's try it vegetable.
One more.
Just this horse gray.
Can you imagine that name?
Come on. They as Horace Gray. Can you imagine that name? Come on.
They're not a serious, Boba Boba Boba Boba.
Can I get a slice of pussy off you, ma'am?
Can you imagine he wrote a fucking...
Yeah, right here.
Like, do you mind if I got a piece of pussy off you
for Mr. Horace?
This fucking just mongoloy dope.
Made it all the way to the Supreme Court. The hauler is this fucking just mongoloy dope.
Made it all the way to the Supreme Court.
Yeah, everybody used to be a fucking native.
Yeah.
Can you imagine going back there in time
and just being the smartest guy in the world?
You know, every chick would trick them
into fucking you with logic.
I sometimes I think about that
as I go back to feudal times.
And just get people are idiots.
Just getting top off a peasant.
Just tell them you're the Lord.
Yeah.
Just be like, yeah, I'm the Lord.
Mm-hmm.
The O'Coy.
They don't have teeth also.
Yeah.
Those chicks had to be so nasty.
Yeah, probably.
No.
What chick would you need like a milk maiden?
Mm-hmm.
Big digit.
How busted were women in the 15th century?
Yeah, look that up.
How busted was the most busted era in the 1500s?
Yeah.
Let's see.
Oh my God, you're never fucking terrible.
Honestly, though, I would not focus with you.
That's the thing.
As soon as time machines were invented, I mean, I'd do it.
I'd go back and I'd be like, well, let's see.
You would fuck that just because I'm from the future.
So you would for like academic purposes.
Yeah, you just hold on to whatever that is.
Those are your ears running on top.
How does she look like that?
I don't know.
You think if you lived in France?
Honestly, this is like the kind of women
you would be dating if you didn't have.
If you weren't famous.
If society told me that was a hot kind of woman,
I'd probably would be.
If you were like, I did what my dad did, brother.
Daddy told me to become a paralegal. So I am that wasn't that was my job before
becoming a
Naturni
Yeah, you would never I was gonna be a like I was gonna be a life you never would have made it
I would have been such bad Laura. Mm-hmm. Look at my lawyer dog. I'm going to jail
I would just try to give the most passionate speeches
for like my closing argument.
Try to get one of those like,
you know, one of those kind of moments, like a movie.
Ginsberg, where were you at by the way?
Okay, we're wrapping it up guys, I have to go.
Yeah, Adam's got to catch a flight.
You're going to, what, what do you mean?
Okay, I've been out of it.
This is not the first of all, this is not seven years ago,
when one of us would get a commercial
and it had to be kept a secret.
You've been hired for this job because of who you are.
Don't get it to your head that you're pretty.
It's a physical thing.
Adam's been hired to model clothes.
For their paying him.
Let's say an amount of money that pisses me off.
Nick is mad about it and he's not excited for me.
And I would think that you would get excited
by having a friend that's a model.
I would think that you would think that's a cool thing.
I would if I didn't have to like,
hey, that's the other thing.
I guess I'll be at the Columbus funny bone.
Oh, fuck.
In mid-February and then touring starts again.
I have no material.
I have no plan.
I don't know how I'm going to do it.
I'll bring someone funny to feature,
but I guarantee you that it's gonna be a fucking nightmare.
I can't do crowd work, I refuse to do it.
I was like, oh, the old Torell and there's,
oh, I have shit I have to do.
I don't have time to be.
Just do, just do.
I do not have time to be.
I was like, that's like, okay,
well, take a two month break from Torell
and I'll just go do spots every night.
I don't have time for that.
Sounds like it's gonna be awesome.
19th and 20th of January, 10th of Florida.
Much rather, gonna be awesome. 19th and 20th of January, Tampa, Florida. I'd much rather just be modeling.
I'm hoping that I could don't have to do
Santa again, model.
You were saying, Nick was saying yesterday,
you're in Tampa, you're in side splinters?
Tampa. When?
Two weeks from now.
What do you take a cell set?
Probably 14.
That's a fun club, dude.
Our careers are failing, right?
It's fucking bad. It's failing right now. That's fucking bad.
It's bad right now.
Yeah.
Why?
I can't catch that.
I'll pee.