The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 38
Episode Date: January 29, 2024The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 38 w/ Eric Rahill and Jack Bensinger Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https:...//www.tiktok.com/@adamfriedlandshowclips Subscribe to @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs -- LIVE SHOWS: NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows Feb 16 — Feb 17: Columbus, OH @ Funny Bone Feb 22 — Feb 24: Nashville, TN @ Zanies ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour Mar 8 - Mar 9: Boston, MA @ Laugh Boston #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show podcast.
Nick once again is not here.
He will be back.
He's on special assignment right now.
You guys are going to find out why maybe in the next six months.
I was going to say in a couple of weeks, but everything's taking forever right now.
We have two special guests.
You guys want to introduce yourselves from the Joy Tactics podcast.
Hello, I'm Jack Benzinger.
I make up one of the three members of Joy Tactics.
Is it a good intro?
Wow.
What's up everybody?
My name's Eric Grayhill and I'm another member of the Joy Tactics podcast.
Is that how you start everything is you make the people slate?
Is that normal?
Or is it because we're not what kind of...
I really think it's an incredibly unpleasant thing to do to a guest a little bit of a sinister evil
thing and I don't know why because I will we bodied it you kind of well you
said what's up so it was well I made it casual immediately yeah he was on the
spot he was sweating he was freaking out yeah but that's how you got through
somebody that's how you get the nerves out and get to a really good
Military
Yeah, do you ever consider military when I was a child really what branch tank?
Yeah, I really didn't want to be a tank driver
Driver well and operator
What's the difference operator driver? I think that out because the operators are firing the mm-hmm the gut cannons
Oh, so you want to do but no driver with a pistol out the fucking little slit?
Oh, that's good driving. You don't have enough hands for all that brother. Yeah, not yet
You can somebody else pistol missile and then all right leave the missile someone else
I would be the pistol owner take the wheel. I don't I wouldn't be like that. Did you see that?
Pamela Tom
porn movie or kids on a boat I didn't boat right way
I didn't see it. I didn't see Navy style. I got really sad when I was like a little kid
I saw that and I saw him driving the boat with his penis and I was like he did he really was on me Lee
Yeah, he's got,
dick on the wheel or on the gas?
Yeah, like massive Johnson and I was like,
I'm never gonna get married.
I could never drive a,
is that that guy has obviously an average size penis.
Right.
But now look who she's with.
She's with the nerd, Edward Snowden.
Say it again. That's what happens.
No, she's with Julian Assange.
Oh yeah. Is that allowed? What's her name? Annanacle happens. No, she's not with him. She's not with him. Oh, yeah.
Is that allowed?
What's her name?
Anna Nicole Smith?
No, Pamela Anderson.
Alright, Pamela Anderson is with an enemy of the state.
So can't she and Giselaan be in the same type of...
How is she not now under arrest?
How do you get that name wrong?
How do you mean?
Before the episode you said, I've never seen the office.
I'm a hipster.
I only know skateboard.
Yeah.
And now you called the most beautiful woman of our lives
She's like the wrong
So easy to deal with this
a lot
Now that's how we do it on our pockets clean and you want to know is actually like that I'm sorry fire
Really, I look like shit right now. do no Yeah, you went polite. Oh, I thought oh, yeah, you look great. I look shit. I
Look, yeah, no, you have a dog and there's no hair on your hat. You know I'm saying wow
Are you lint rolling before you leave the apartment?
No, I just keep down I keep the dog outside in Brooklyn on the
fire escape. Yeah. Yeah. I see. Yeah. It's like a neighborhood watch.
New York style thing. Yeah. I mean, I've gotten to you. Yeah. I tortured dogs.
Can you persecute a dog if it kills somebody? No. I don't know. Yeah. Her secute.
You mean like in a court? Yeah. I know that it's not. You definitely can't persecute.
That's funny to say persecute though.
Why?
That's the right word.
If you're like a terrible murderer and you say I'm being persecuted for a violent crime.
That's what you're saying.
Like you're the victim.
Like a moral thing.
Like you're the victim, yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Well.
So she's with Julian Assange?
But just friends, right? No. No. He's hitting it. Well. So, she's with Julian Assange? But just friends, right?
No.
No.
He's hitting it.
No.
You don't chill with Julian Assange.
But he's in the...
Assange is backshots.
No.
Constant.
No.
He's back-full.
No, he's been Assange.
He's all about the brain, but there's always those types.
He didn't.
It's his Riz.
It's a Riz style.
It's left Riz.
He's doing it in a Riz.
Yeah.
Why haven't they made a movie about him yet?
That's Hodge?
Yeah.
Because they made Snowden with, what's his name?
What?
Will Smith?
No, they made the Edward Snowden movie with Joseph Gordon Levitt, right?
Oh.
Remember that?
No.
No.
Everybody go watch that.
One of the most beautiful movies.
Who was in it?
Joseph Gordon Levitt?
Mr. Levitt.
And what's their, because they have to pick a side?
I don't know. I don't know.
What's up, man?
Because I'm trying to hide?
Who has to pick the side, the audience?
The filmmakers responsibility.
Are you going to condone what Julian Assange
has done to this?
No, it's Edward Snowden.
And not Edward Norden.
Jack is like so nervous.
I'm reading out of his chest. No, man. It's ever snowed and not ever Norden Jack is like so nervous Julian Assange is gonna be watching this from fucking Moscow, but he probably could be he might be is he on curious
Is he on what Twitter?
Still I don't know. I don't use it
You're off of off of it? Yeah, I don't.
I have a girlfriend that's not really...
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's nice.
Yeah.
So you don't need the big Tommy Lee style penis to fall in love?
I still think I do.
Timothy Tommy Lee.
Well, that's...
I still think that...
I still think they want me to drive a boat with my penis.
Even if I can't...
You can. And they're like, I don't care about that kind of Even if I can't, and they're like,
I don't care about that kind of stuff.
I'm like, come on.
It doesn't need to be big to drive a penis.
To drive a penis.
Do you wanna own a boat, Adam?
You wanna boat badly?
I'm not responsible enough.
So you wanna lease one, and you wanna hire a driver?
You wanna have a below deck style crew?
Yeah, I don't be but they'd be like conspiring against me. No, no, they love you
No, they'd be like fan all fans. No
Oh the people who work for you even in this building are like so much so happy. No, but if they love you like
Crazy, would you want a crew? No, then that's that weird too much power. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want them to put me on a pest
Respect, I want them to see my flaws. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're different co-op yacht
Co-op yacht, right? What you share with other people. Yeah, everybody would you want to share it with run Reynolds?
Rattling oh my Ryan you Gosling Reynolds
Jackman
He's kind of doing his playboy shit.
He's Jackman?
Yeah.
You said Jackman?
Jackman.
Jackman?
Yeah, yeah.
Let me tell you.
Call my name now.
Oh, Jackman.
Oh, Jackman, yeah.
You try to start that as a nickname?
Jackman?
Yeah.
That'd be cool.
Jackman.
Have you ever tried to start your own nickname before?
The Cube.
It's a really pathetic move to be like,
you have to be granted one.
My friend, before college, he made his Facebook name,
like he had a nickname in quotes
that he'd given himself called Last Cup.
Last what? Last Cup?
Cause in, in Pong, he always has that Last Cup. Oh, that's his name pal. And Pongie always hits that last cup.
Oh.
And then people that were at the college were like,
let's bully last cup when he gets to school next year.
I'd kick his ass.
There was a guy that went to my college who had a bad drinking problem
and they were doing vodka shots, vodka pong,
drinking shots of vodka instead of beer
That's not fun
He went to the hospital one night after playing that nearly died had to get a I believe a liver transplant and
After college went around the country touring talking about the dangers of alcohol as a comedian
So he turned that into a yeah, well as a comedian. No, it wasn't a list comedian
It was yeah, you can't say who, man.
You can't say who?
It's Kevin Hart.
Really?
You went to college with him?
Yeah, a little older than I seem.
Oh, where'd you go to college?
Pace University.
Right, yeah.
No shit.
I remember thinking I wanted to go to Pace University
because that was where the inside the actor studio was.
Wow, Bradley Cooper.
No, it was at, um...
No, it was Pace. Where is that? No, it was at the new the actor studio was. Wow, Bradley Cooper. No, it was at, um, No, it was Pace.
Where is that?
No, it was at the new school, I thought.
No, it's, I believe it.
Maybe they switched,
but at some point it was Pace University.
That's kind of my career goal is that James Lipson.
Really?
Well, he's gone.
Not to beat his ass?
To beat James Lipson's ass.
No, to beat him.
Oh, to beat him?
Well, you're on the track.
Yeah. We got to get you at award shows. James Liston's no to be listen. Oh to be him. Well, you're on the track. Yeah
We got to get you at award shows at
Oscars at the globes. How do you see him like a Ricky Gervais style like killing the truth? Yeah, you crazy man. Yeah, who's gonna defend you your god. You guys all like to get fucking me
Me too. I know y'all like to get me too
Whatever you all like getting me too. That's good. He did that with corn globes. He said y'all. Yeah, he's British
I know y'all
Dapt him up. Yeah, no, she was like raise your head. Oh, it was a rhetorical. She's always there. She's always there, dude
I'm sick. She was yo. No, she was missing from the Emm head. She's like, oh, it was a rhetorical. She's always there. She's always there, dude.
I'm sick of her.
She was, yo, no, she was missing from the Emmys.
She's missing?
She was missing from...
She doesn't do TV, dude.
She's too far.
Oh, that's what it is.
She doesn't do TV.
But her daughter does on the Gold, the Gilded Age.
She's her daughter.
She's the star of the Gilded Age.
That's cool.
Really?
What's that show about?
It's about the Age of Consent.
Can we do this with the strike?
The strike's over, brother.
Where you been, dude?
You been to sleep?
Jack's been.
I've been on the picket line.
Really?
Yeah.
No.
Sorry, what's the Gilda Dage?
It's about probably Renaissance time.
Oh, y'all probably wondering about the Gilda Dage.
It's about New York, the age of 1800s, it's about the wealth gap.
It's kind of about new money coming into Vanderbilt style,
money coming into.
And who plays old money?
The old money, they're all just kind of like,
oh, you know who plays old money
is what's her red hair from Sex and the City?
Isla Fisher.
Miranda?
Miranda is, but she's kind of nice with it.
One of my favorite actors of all time, Miranda. I know, she's great. She's politically minded as well. Oh you've never seen
Sex and the City? No, I was gonna ask her what the actor's name was. You don't like that I
haven't seen a lot of TV shows. Have you seen that one? No. It's the best, it was one of the best
Sex and the City. I got to see it. You would like it. Yeah, that's great. I should look to it then.
Yeah, I actually, when I was a kid, the first time I watched it, because it had sex in it, I should look to it then yeah, I actually when I was a kid the first time I watched it because it had sex
I thought I was like I'm gonna try and beat
You what did you want to date Carrie? No, I hate Carrie really you had the instant even though she's so sexy
She drives me nuts. She drives me nuts. You had the instinct as a child too much. I'm a charlotte man
Charlotte she's so charlotte has taste
Too much. I'm a Charlotte man.
Charlotte. She's too per. Charlotte has taste.
Just.
She's too per.
You know what I'm saying?
And Samantha, I-
She's a freak.
Sexual freak.
She a freak though.
Yeah.
Okay, so Samantha's a freak.
Charlotte's annoying.
No, you put that on her.
No, no, no, I'm not talking about her.
Why did you-
She's awesome.
For the people like me, who are alphas, who like basketball and shit.
Yeah.
Who didn't watch these shows.
You don't like basketball.
I love basketball. I've talked to you about it didn't watch these shows. You don't like basketball.
I love basketball.
I've talked to you about it before.
Mm-hmm.
You're a waste of 6'8.
I'll do this to me publicly.
You're a waste of 6'8.
One time I asked you if you've dunked before
and you were like offended about it.
As if it's your identity or something.
I tried to dunk up to eight-year-olds.
I'm so sick of people asking if I don't dunk with the Wilson.
I am.
I'm sick of it.
Look at the Wilson.
Why? Because I can't do it, man. I'm six fucking five and I can't fucking with the way I am I'm sick of it look at the why the why because I can't do it man
I'm six fucking five, and I can't fucking dunk. It's pathetic
It's fucking I would die tomorrow from one dunk
In game what about slam ball if you did a dunk you pass away from excitement. I would make a deal with the devil
Oh, yeah, give me one. I know and then I die. Wow, I just lower the hoop then doesn't count you want it to be for the glory
Lower the hoop. I was just watching a highlight reel of people who are five six dunking
They could do that that a lot of them who's the littlest person ever to be in the NBA? Oh
Mugsie bugs. Oh what and how tall was he?
58 53 what year was this 1936?
Five eight five three five three what year was this 1936?
1990s no really five three in the monkey bones
Bugs, but who do you play for six? Oh, okay. I'm calm that
No, yeah, he played for the Charlotte
Horn he's he's shooting threes is he slicing his cooking achilles slicing the achilles breaking
Checking that's kill Bill dude. Oh gotta watch that too. It's like you've never seen that
We haven't hung out enough for you to know this about me. What do you do?
Jack plays Halo he does love hey, you do too much love. Too much love. Like romance and love? Yeah.
I was twerking for my girlfriend last night.
You weren't twerking for her?
No, I didn't.
Really?
She makes you do that?
No.
Kind of demeaning.
When was the last time you grinded?
For real grinded, not joking.
Bar Misfa.
Bar Misfa's last time.
How many years ago?
So when was that, 20 years ago? Yeah about two years ago
I was at a bar misfa where they predicted the pandemic
Oh, what they remember that yeah, social distance and you're grinding. I wasn't grinding
This is what February this is what February 2020. Yeah, maybe remember you come back being like they told me
They told us that it's over. They say COVID is about to drop the Jews that planned it.
Yeah.
They were up on the Upper West Side.
They just had fucking crazy pieces of paper
with plans all over the wall.
And I was like, I'm not gonna ask.
I'm just gonna throw candy at the dude
with the fucking GoPro on his head.
You know what I'm talking about?
The bar mitzvah boy had a GoPro on his head.
No, the rabbi when he wraps the fucking
to felon around his head.
Oh, it's like a GoPro.
That's cool.
That's cool.
That's fire. That's bars. that's fire. That's bars.
That's bars.
That's a Jew, that's bars.
That's bars.
You don't know the reference, really, it's bars.
I know, I'm so Christian-coded.
Yeah.
Christian-coded?
Did you grow up Christian-coded?
I grew up Christian-coded, man.
What, you still are a believer?
No.
I'm not.
Really?
You're a race style. You're a race, yeah, baby, you're a race. You're a race style., I'm not really. Church, your baby, your baby, your base, your base style. Yeah.
Yeah. I've been trying to just talk to him about it. Ricky exchange ideas.
Have you heard like, Eric, I would assume. Yo, I find a comic today.
That's going to be playing at like the punchline Atlanta.
So, oh my God, his name is Derek with a C D E R I C. Maybe you know him.
Derek Cahill.
Doesn't that sound like a fake name for me?
If I saw that.
Derek Cahill.
I would have like a fucking crazy panic attack
if I saw someone named like.
It disturbed me.
Yak Hensinger.
I don't like a bill I don't know.
Adon.
You know what?
Reedland.
Yeah.
Well that's a stage.
It's a stage name.
Oh yours is a stage name. Yeah. Well, that's a stage and it's a stage name. Oh, yours is a stage name?
Yeah.
My real name is Cedric the Entertainer.
There was already one in show business.
Mr. Cedric.
Where does Cedric stand on?
I was gonna be Cedric B Entertainer,
like Michael B. Jordan.
Oh, that's good.
Yeah.
Remember Meadow World Peace?
Yeah.
You could be Adam World Peace.
Like it. I don't think that's common. It's not funny world peace
Wars blood. That's funny. That's dude dark shit blue
Don't you're talented. That's funny if you could make something so crazy fun. That's talent. Yeah
Are we annoying? No, I'm loving it.
Oh, did you see Michael B. Jordan get interviewed by his bully from high school?
No.
On the red carpet?
No.
She rolls up, she says, Michael.
It was a girl?
Female bully?
It was a girl?
They exist.
I would kill myself.
I would kill myself, too.
I would kill myself, too.
A girl bully.
Whoops.
Wait, who booked that?
A bullshie. Who booked the bully? Whoops. Wait, who booked that? A bullsheat?
Who booked the bully?
No, it's a red carpet.
She's like a journalist standing out on the fence
or whatever and she's like,
we know where the,
she's on the fence?
You know where they're holding the mics over
and she's like, Michael.
And he's like, she's like,
remember me from high school?
And he's like, yeah, corny one, right?
Whoa. I was corny, right?
No, can you pull it up right now?
I don't have my phone on me.
I don't keep it on me like that.
Really?
Wow.
Watched in my jacket.
Wow.
It's in my little face.
Wow.
Whoops.
He does that.
Wait, so he was mad at the woman?
No, no, no.
That's what's curious.
Please, style.
No, no.
This is how you would react.
No, I wouldn't.
I would never.
I would never.
I would never.
You hang your dog on a window in Fort Green.
Whoops, can I say that you live there?
You're my neighbor.
All right, we live a block away.
I know, but yeah.
And you guys don't chill, that's interesting.
What are you talking about?
We just accidentally chilled the other day.
I planned it as like a funny thing.
Oh, that's right.
I knew that you were getting lunch underneath my apartment.
All right, all right, all right.
And I was like, oh, I'm gonna walk in,
take a picture of Jack and send it to him.
Disturbed to disturb him.
I'm so fucking horny.
Wow.
Yeah.
He got me.
He got your ass.
What were you saying about Michael B. Jordan?
Oh, I was saying was this.
No, his reaction was this. Let's talk about, no. I don't have B Jordan? Oh, I was saying was this no his reaction was this
Let's talk about no. I don't have to talk about I just want to finish this
He had a master class on a calm reaction. He said
Cornie, right?
He said corny, right? No, it's all good. What do you want to ask me then again? I wasn't calm
That's passively aggressive. No, well, he put just maybe overacted it. He did it so smooth for sprees. So
Creed style. He's's four movies to perfect it
Courtney, right?
Is that too intense? That's a little intense. Hmm. Okay, so happier. Yeah, Courtney, right? I
Remember you threatening. No, it's how do you say it? Courtney, right? Okay?
Oh, that's kind of gotta look this up. We got to break down this clip. Oh, add time.
Do you have a bully, Eric?
Add time?
I never, nobody ever.
Okay, let's do our ad.
Bullied my ass.
Yeah, you did get bullied.
Barely.
You want us to be quiet as an ad?
No, you can, we can riff on it.
Wow.
Now hit the ad.
Okay, we got a new thing.
Highlight it. Okay, so this is printed black and white, right?
And it says items highlighted in yellow are mandatory.
Is there a high-density gray?
Yeah.
The gray is yellow.
Is that what is the case?
You're fucking smart.
I love it.
Okay.
Guys, one in...
I remember this start over yet
Unique New York
Okay, folks we have an ad it's a
Did you know that learning actually makes a sound whoa
Did you know that learning actually makes a sound? Whoa.
What does that mean?
And I would say say this with respect
because someone put some effort into it.
There's a 22 year old.
Yeah, either way.
She's probably fine and shit.
She's probably fine and shit.
You never know.
She went to NYU, she's fine and shit.
You just never know that.
Okay, yeah.
Did you know that learning actually makes a sound?
It's true, listen.
I'm hooked by the way, that's a great sentence.
Me too.
Oh, play babble SFX
All right, Ginsburg let's run again. We need to play the babble SFX for this do it and I'll do it in post I
It's babble then I use babble recently really yeah, so what is it then you can add right here?
for recently really yeah so what is it then you can add right here testimony of furan furan what's happening
ginsburg can we get the babel sfx
i think you just go to the nathan's or top
no i'm not do you know it eric i don't know that it's like blink i bet it's like this
it's something like that all All right. We'll try it again.
Do you know that learning actually makes a sound? It a hipster man? Okay, so you got George?
I'm just all normal. All right, and George is a
Lovable loser. He's bald right you have the next-door neighbor Kramer. He buss in Jerry's apartment. I've seen Jerry main guy comedian
Elaine stand up. She's a good guy by the way ethical man Jerry
Kramer. Oh all of them. Yeah yeah well that we have a clip to show
you after this and we'll Kramer is a low key low key problematic oh is he racist
yeah you you saw the clip yeah I broke my heart he called him he called a Karen
what's his first name by the way Michael Richards I remembered it. Make sure. Okay, we'll start it from the top.
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I know you'd be doing that.
I would be, I'd be doing that.
You got tutors still as an adult, man.
Jack did it too.
With a man from Spain.
Your parents made it.
I did actually get a tutor.
From Spain, right? Shout out a tutor. From Spain, right?
Shout out to Joseph.
What, Spanish?
You're learning Spanish?
I learned Spanish last year and he didn't like the Eric Andre show.
But I gotta say, if you're learning Spanish, go with someone from Mexico.
Oh, I wish I could go back in time and pick Puerto Rico.
A Puerto Rico.
Or Costa Rica.
Because it's the American Spanish.
It's the 51st state.
Once I get into office.
I love that.
Don't Despacito, that's from Puerto Rico.
Louis Fonsoy.
This is how we do it,
that I put the record.
Justin Bieber got on the track.
He is Justin on the track.
Senior Bieber.
Justin, Dr. Spanish Bieber.
Dr. Bieber.
Senior Bieber.
Do you remember when his penis got snapped
by a paparazzi and his dad tweeted,
he was like, proud daddy or something.
Oh, cause it's so large. What?
Yeah, no, I wish my dad would do that. Justin Bieber has a big old dingaling. Of course he does. I wouldn't add it
I don't know these things. He's the most beautiful singer of all time
But that would you think that he has a curse you had to trade off because of the devil. It's true
It's probably something else and did you guys see that that video recently where he's all fucked up at the Kidleroy?
Concert yeah, and he's singing with his shirt off
I do the same
He's crushing it his voice is so good. He's fucked up
Because he says like I'm fucked up maybe in it kids. He said that to the kids
I'll know you could lower as a mature fan base really by the way for adults. Yeah, it can't be underage dude
You did high school. I did I plead the fifth so far. They're watching the babbles quick ten minute lessons are designed for over
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Wow.
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Babel is better.
One study found that Babel, using it for 15 hours is equivalent to a full semester at
college.
Well, now how could that be?
That's like a goodwill hunting.
What does that say?
You don't need the call.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right.
I like it.
Okay.
Babel has over 10, what does it say?
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There's a lot of points.
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Okay.
So just clean that up.
Take out all the crap that they were talking, you know, all right
You know the tower of babbles all about the story of the biblical story of the tower of battle
There was they try to get a god. Yeah, and then God made them speak different languages as punishment
Did you know that Jack that's kind of that real it's kind of a bullshit story, right? Is it God God is
Diversity is a punishment. Yeah, it God God is diversity is a punishment yeah it makes God
cruel understand no he was Old Testament God so you watch it or no no watch it
back he's awesome you're in this is so that's really what that story is about
he's real he's the origin the origin of the try to get close to God by building
a skyscraper as we we all do. So fun.
Back in the day.
So fun.
He said,
They're having fun doing that.
I know, they probably had to,
and they were getting everybody together.
And why not piss God off?
I don't know.
And the punishment was?
Dude, you're based out.
I know.
You're based out.
Well, that's just in me.
So God said, how dare you try and come say hello to me?
You're all polyglots.
That's it, that's the whole story.
Yeah.
Polyglots.
No, they were not polyglots. Well, they just. You just dropped polyglots. That's it. That's the whole story. Yeah. Yeah. Polly glots. No, they were not
probably well, they just dropped polyglot like very verbose. Very verbose. Very verbose.
Try say a word. I don't know the definition of dare you love. Strong feelings towards
somebody. No, that's not what love is. No, that's not what love is.
Why don't you say what it means?
How many years do you think you go without love?
Real love in your life before it's over?
For me, less than a year.
If I had nobody loving me, for real.
Well, how do you think the pandemic went
for so many people?
Yeah.
Bad.
Jacking off and saying.
Well, that'll only get you so far.
Yeah. In terms of this. Jacking off and saying. Well, that'll only get you so far. Yeah.
In terms of this.
You ain't can hit.
That's not bad.
I don't know.
That's just big facts.
I know it's big facts.
You just dropped big facts.
I know, I kind of dropped something pretty soon.
Yeah, you dropped big facts.
I'm sorry to change the mood like that.
It's mad brick in here as well.
After the babble.
Oh, it's so brick in here.
Can you switch my camera? Did you just pop a zen out? Yeah, how long you leaving that in three milligram
I don't know. It's a chain Shane Gillis. I was in a on the pot. Pretty cool. What are those things over there?
I saw eight milligrams. Oh, that's a sponsor and it's
It's crazy. Okay. We got to cut that too
Lucy's not going to be happy.
All right, bye.
All right, what were we talking about before?
You said all singers are fake or something?
All musicians are corny.
Yeah, literally.
All right, so let's talk this out.
And I have musician friends and I love them.
So you're talking shit on your best friends?
Well, that's why I'm scared to talk about this publicly on the public.
Just say your theory. I think that singer I think that if you are a musician,
you are kind of your corny. There's no non-corn ball musician. And maybe that's a good thing.
You know, I'm saying that I got some pretty serious. It's like that's okay to be I wish
I was more corny sometimes, sometimes me to be a little more just like
Open not so judgmental yourself being real not thinking about it. Yeah existing. You know who was corny Frank Sinatra
One of my favorite right man go why why was he corny? Yeah, he cared I Have kind of had this thought that being a good singer is not impressive to me because that
Why courage because you're showing why I'm just saying courageously wise
It doesn't take courage to show people something you're good at
No, but have you seen the guy people who suck it what we seen the guy that has the exact match a voice of Michael Jackson
No, the leafy blind. No, it's not the. No, the weekend. I believe he's blind.
No.
It's not the weekend.
The weekend.
Oh, no weekend.
Has he been on this yet?
No.
Well, he, we didn't, it didn't work out.
Oh, it didn't work out.
Okay.
Okay.
I've been in a room that-
I'm praying for that to happen.
Yeah.
What, what happened?
I was in a room one time that somebody who worked
for the weekend was in.
What do you think about that?
So you didn't respect it as very much before this
and then you hear that?
I cut off his, I cut off that story.
You almost didn't get to know that.
I wanna apologize, that was a great story.
Oh, yeah, man.
Yeah, I talked to celebrities as well, man.
The guy that worked for the weekend.
Yeah, he's actually cool.
What does he do?
He's a musician. Do you know?
1-0 tricks point never. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's famous. Yeah, he's that his producer
I've never met him. I just was in his office one time without him. So he wasn't even in the room
You were in a room
He was in a room one time, a guy that worked for the weekend was once in.
He was in there one time.
It's fire.
But he's really nice, I've heard.
That's fire.
He's awesome.
I met him.
No, I don't know him.
I'm not sure he could be nice.
I don't know why I just sat down.
Can I just time out one more time?
Celebrities come on the show now.
Yeah, we can't really take shots.
No, it shouldn't take shots at real normal people. Because it might fuck up like this up when you say when you said Meryl Streep is like a conter something
I didn't you said that helmet. No, you said risk me you respect your back
I remember and you also said what you said fuck Israel and all Jews did not say anything like that
This shows like we're on the fence about everything including any celebrities. So we're not gonna go hard
All right, so just play it
Yeah
All right. Oh, this is in the middle. I that's where I live my life is in the middle
Really, this is easy for center left. Yeah
What does that mean? I've heard that a lot center left cuz you got clowns to the left you jokers the right right
I'll get that
Wait, yeah, center like Jimmy. What does that mean?
I'll let that
Wait center like Jimmy I mean, I figured it out like Jimmy Hendrix. I figured it out
I think that he's saying that Jimmy Hendrix saying that song knows the beat
The Beatles of course yesterday. Can they believe his ass was only 27 didn't he look a little older than that?
mmm
Yeah, Jimmy Hendrix and Janice Joplin 27. Okay time out one more time. If they're dead kill them. It's fine. It's fine
You can go there. Okay. Yeah, he looked like shit for 27. I mean, but he had a hard life and he got toe cancer
No, that's Bob Marley brother. All right
That wasn't racist. Okay. Oh
Now that you said that that now you we have to okay okay yeah so let's let's run it from the top yeah Hendrix yeah so what
was your thing my thing okay let's do it clean edit okay cool yeah what's like
your what's your whole thing about Jimmy Hendrix you say you're saying he's
probably corny well yeah he's corny? Probably corny. Well yeah, he's corny.
Was he in Vietnam?
Because if he was.
Jimi Hendrix?
Respect.
No, he would rather be killed than he was.
Jimi Hendrix was there.
He was humping through the woods.
No, no, no.
As they called it.
This time he's right.
No, Jimi Hendrix was in there.
No, Jimi Hendrix was in there.
He was singing about not going there.
Hey, hey, LBJ.
His ass was there.
Yeah, yeah.
We don't want to... How many Hey, hey, LBJ. LBJs was there. Yeah, yeah. We don't want to.
How many kids did you kill today?
Yeah.
They had the chance good back then.
They hit a little harder.
Chance are not an easy thing to be good at.
Really?
Have you ever made one up?
Yeah.
Was here?
If we get it, keep it open.
Keep it open keep it open
Because on pick a line sometimes they say if we don't get it shut it down And I just thought they should say the other one too. Oh, that's a riff on the screen actors guild protests of this summer
Are you sad Adam? No, I would never I would never sag Adam. What if I said I could get you in?
And who do you know? Huh? Who do you know?
That's not a that's not gonna answer on there, but let's just say I can get your ass in the sag
How can you do it? You have $3,000. Do you?
3000 3000 brother
It's all it takes really and a few credits. Yeah, really
Can you get it from YouTube celebrity talk shows with If we get the negotiations right for next year, yeah.
Yeah, the credits from this shit.
I kinda wanna stay independent, like I kinda don't.
That's what I respect about YouTube.
Yeah, it's an indie vibe here. It's kind of Strokes vibe, you know?
Let's get them on here.
I did.
Mr. Julian?
Yeah, we should cut that out.
It's the saddest thing. Really? We'll bleep it. We'll play it. It was the saddest thing ever. No, I
Hate to hear that
What do you mean? Cuz like he was the definition of
Of the coolest guy of all time. I know I know and it turns out that I'm like maybe a hundred to 200 times cooler
And it turns out that I'm like maybe a hundred to 200 times cooler
Cry never meet heroes. It sucks never meet heroes. It sucks. That's kind of like when I met Drake, too
And what was he like? He said I've been trying to
The same thing shall I miss it? Yeah, he said I've been trying to be you and I'm like, yeah, you know what?
Crazy You know what? Crazy All right cut all that. We can't talk shit Let's go. No more shit and the episode right before the ad and then the adlander
No, we have to do an hour
So what kind of stuff do you guys talk about on joy tactics?
You know we talk about we get in the weeds
Well, we just talked about Rhonda Santis dropping out. I mean we go crazy on politics from MMA the girl from MMA
No, that's Rhonda Rousey. Oh, that's Ms. Rousey to you guys doctor. Ms. Rousey if you're nasty
I miss Rousey miss Rousey if you're nasty, you know, it's no that's a reference. She says that oh really?
No, it's it's Janet Jackson as a song. She says miss miss Jackson if you're nasty
Are you rocking with Janet?
No.
Has she been around lately?
No.
I'm sorry, man.
We're sorry, man.
Sorry, man.
We're sorry, man.
We'll talk about whatever you wanna talk about.
Good.
We keep going back to, that's what's curious about,
cause we talk about celebrities mostly on our podcast.
It's mostly celebrities. Really? Celebrity it's really yeah celebrity gossip because we're so
connected it was like what's a good gossip that's just dropped dude well
let's see Robert Downey Jr. was saying that some of his best acting work was in
the Iron Man's but right over look at because of the genre yeah super hero
jobs hipsters hipsters why do I get label man? Why I don't know because you were saying before you're like, I want to go to Portland
Well, yeah, we're going to Seattle if you're asked to Portland you would be I went to Portland one time people would be bowing
Yeah, shaking out of you. I thought it was cool. You know
Why why don't you fuck?
I don't fuck with it. I don't fuck with it.
I don't fuck with it.
Why?
Why don't you fuck with Portland?
Because they should have helped those people out.
I see what you're saying.
The artists?
No, no.
But that's a good idea too.
No, the people suffering on the street.
Oh, yeah.
It's crazy.
Yeah, no one's, it gets worse every time.
A guy told me he wanted to fuck me in my dreams.
Whoa.
Yeah.
That was cool though.
No, it was confusing.
Compared to what other people say to me.
I want to fuck you in your dreams.
Yeah.
Sample that.
I thought at first it was like a Freddy Krueger kind of thing, but then I thought like...
It's a zuckie bis.
But then I thought, I was like, maybe he's like just like a rich bitch from high school
and she's like, in your dreams.
Yeah. I want to fuck you in your dream yeah that's funny yeah I couldn't I
couldn't tell what he was talking about but it's really it's it's a bummer of a
place Seattle is yeah I know you're from there yeah but I don't rock with it too
hard why not never I never identified with Seattle. What do you identify?
Spiritually, I feel like I identify more Midwest.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I feel like...
So what are you running away from?
That's a good question.
That's something I haven't really come to terms with what I'm running away from.
If you're going to choose a new thing you identify with, why would you choose the Midwest?
Funny how you laugh at the Midwest.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West.
It's the West. It's the West. It's the West you, but it's like they're doing it because it's the rules
But in their brains they you know, there's there's a an evil. Yeah, there's an evil
It's like they're not too big the people too big
I know you don't you don't understand this but I mean you're also you know just fuck we're different types of big
Isn't that interesting? Yeah, cuz we weigh about the same you guys are like
David
Would you call me would you call me stocky Adam am I stocky? Well, yeah
I
Call you husky husky
Remember that was the euphemism for fat for fat kid
Remember that was the euphemism for fat for fat kid. I was in the husky section What did you get called husky one time in Soho or something? Yeah, I think someone did call me husky
And you popped off on them. No, I said thank you. I like that
What Midwest say that that's the no
Coming yeah, but it is I should be angered by someone calling me husky
Well, maybe you let that you let that anger out instead of turning it inwards.
Yeah, punching yourself in the soul.
Punching yourself in the soul.
Making art out of it.
Now, who would you call stocky?
Stocky?
Bob Hoskins.
Uh...
The pig from Hercules, the red guy.
Oh.
Uh...
Stockrose Halkias.
Wow.
That's my friend.
That's my friend.
Yeah, he's a little stocky. Stocky. Stocky. Uh, halchus. Wow.
That stock is stocky.
Yeah, it's a little stocky.
Stocky.
Uh, kung fu panda.
I feel like stocky's a guy, I like this word.
Stocky is nice.
Stocky means like you can,
if a woman needed it, you could kill for her.
Or a lesser man.
What do you mean?
Like, I'd listen.
A weaker man.
A lanky man.
If a lanky man and a stocky man work together and there's a fucking door that-
Are you pitching your buddy comedy?
No, because first of all, if you're wondering why our vibes are weird right now, it's because
the Joy Tactics third, Nate Verone, isn't here right now.
What does he bring?
He's Lebanese.
He brings a call.
He kind of grounds us.
He's Lebanese Italian bald brings a call. Doesn't he? He kind of grounds us. You living here?
He's Lebanese Italian bald man with crazy sexual energy.
Really?
Sexual Riz.
Really?
Yeah.
Really.
Shout out to the name of the pronoun.
He's undeniable.
He's undeniable.
He's definitely undeniable.
To the target.
Yeah?
Yeah.
Demo?
No, in the game, you know that Neil Strauss, the game.
Do you know this?
Pick up artists?
Yeah.
Oh, I've seen Hitch, probably 100 times.
Such a good movie.
Really good.
Oh my God.
Mr. Hitch, really fun.
We should take our girls on that date,
where the Jespe days.
Oh, yeah.
It's so romantic.
Been a mess since I've seen Hitch.
I was telling him yesterday to do,
I told you the same thing
What the hell was it to do? Oh just because stuff well keep this on the low cuz what if they're listening
You got flowers just just because no, but I thought about it. When's this come out?
Later Thursday, maybe oh shit snap wait, so you're planning on 30 Friday. No, no, no
I'm not gonna reveal any of my romantic plans
However, what is it? What are you putting? I'm not gonna reveal them. Okay. Just say in in theory though
Yeah, that flower shop that you brought up now when I'm walking down the street. I know it's there
And I think oh, yeah, maybe I should go and really you get you get away like
You could be lazy and dumb and then you get you get the just because flowers. Yeah
Damn, I did you know what I feel like I'm good at what because I see the bouquets at the at the bodega
That sells the flowers, right? They got a my guy putting them to get they have single flowers, too
Hmm. I feel like I do have us an innate talent for putting the flowers together and making a unique bouquet
Interesting I do have an innate talent for putting the flowers together and making a unique bouquet. Interesting.
Have you tried it or you're like, I could.
No, I've done it.
You've done it.
I've said that one, that one, that one, that one.
You worked it's cool.
And every time they're like, damn, I wouldn't have thought of this.
Really?
Arrangement.
I'm kind of a flower arranger.
And you have to be really careful when you have a kitty cat because those things can
be allergic at times to some types of flowers.
That's the way.
We just saved a lot of cats lives using this
Shit, I don't know if I believe them they're sensitive animals. So like it Nate was here. What would he say that? Oh my god?
They would probably be quiet. Oh, well and then come in with some maybe call him
I guess like the dynamic is like
Yeah, don't tell me is on the come the
Advertisement podcast cause that's right. Yeah, okay. We're calling name alone. This is a prank kind of like a yeah
You know what this is amazing. We do a segment called thank calls
That's like a prank call, but we're just thanking somebody
Oh, you like you like call a business that you love.
And no, you're not allowed to joke.
Can't talk to the manager.
I just want to say thank you so much for providing amazing service.
I don't respect business.
Well, you don't respect business.
Let's say then.
This is capitalism.
That's, that's hardcore.
You forget that. You forget that.
I know, I know.
I forgot you're like that.
You're a very hard person to pin down.
What do you mean? Oh?
You just have such incredibly wide ranging beliefs that I want to say you're a true
There's a hipster guy, then I don't know I I like spores, but the truth is I believe in nothing
Yeah, I'm a that's gonna get you in the end when you're on the deathbed
I know that you're gonna be searching for something to cling to.
And who's that? Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
No, it could be something else. It could be a different God.
Shiva?
Vitamin water.
Call him a...
Okay, so why don't we fucking thank all his ass back then?
No, he's gonna know it's a different...
Let's just say...
No, just say like, we're working on a riff. Okay, let's come up with a good
See we can then say like what would you say? Let's give him an act out because that's where I think he really thrives
Especially
Anywhere, okay. He does that. Okay. I'm just calling now. Yeah, bang bang is one
This is gonna be so good people like this
And you get excited hearing that.
That ring.
Ring.
Ring.
Ring.
I'm getting nervous and I know him.
He's not gonna pick up.
Why would he do this?
Because he probably got like a show business.
He could be meditating.
He meditate.
He does that?
For about 40 minutes a day.
Really?
His eyebrows wiggle like crazy.
Really?
Yeah.
All right.
Well, I give up.
Well, he's funny.
He's funny?
You gotta trust us.
He's a good guy.
I'd love to meet him.
Monday.
Who's your favorite guy?
Eric.
Eric and Nate.
What are you saying? In general.
Yeah.
In general?
Yeah.
Favorite guy of all time?
Uh-huh.
Michelangelo De Caravaggio, probably.
Because he did art and he killed people, got away with it.
Come on, brother.
He killed?
Yeah.
He was gay and he killed.
Dumber.
So far.
I was on a shirt call that said something like that. So far. Oh, shit I would have a shirt called that said something like that so far. Oh shit. What about you my favorite guy?
Uh-huh. I like Zach Galifianakis
You see how this yeah, that's the two brain types. Can I try?
My daddy made a lot of sacrifices maybe maybe the man I am today. Damn!
Okay.
Now you're doing that to show us up.
Yeah, that was like the thank you thing.
Interest, you showed character.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, we're talking about builds before,
I feel like you have a great build for period pieces.
Where if you put me-
You tampon?
Huh?
Relax.
Bro, my mind didn't even go there.
I'm nasty, I'm nasty, bro.
You're nasty. I'm kind of disgusting
You're in the right. I know but in kind of a cool way. Yeah our crumb style nasty. Yeah
Yeah, I can see your verse already. No, I'm kind of more like a
like
Your mother's cunt kind of what's that? Okay? Yeah. Yeah, you're like, you know how like comics get real nasty
Yeah, they're like, oh, yeah
Yeah Like, you know how, like, comics get real nasty? Yeah. Mm-hmm. They're like, oh, you know. Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Dude, it's been awesome having us on.
And no, it's been awesome having us.
I wanted to say, you have, but I'm jealous.
What's my, what's saying?
You could be 1930s stockbroker, high-waisted.
I see what you're saying.
Pan, like, you could fit in in a,
you could be in an Oppenheimer like that
Everybody was and he wouldn't have to I know what he's saying. They couldn't put my juice the made the bomb
You twist my words so it was all juice. No, we should be proud of that if it was God
That's good that's
After the middle. This isn't the time to say that, is it? Well... That's good. That's... Say post this after the conflict is over. What's the conflict? Oh, I thought...
I don't know.
Okay. Sorry.
So what's your surprise for your girlfriend?
What?
Who is he eating?
No.
But, like, dude...
Being so crude about women, this is what's wrong with men these days, because you know,
after this, I'm gonna beat your ass. Because you think we're not online right why because you just said something
lude come on brother woman lude I didn't say lude I said that I said that making love it's nice
no you didn't say making all right so say something like that about my girlfriend so we're even
all right your girlfriend's your girlfriend what are you gonna do when you get home with your girlfriend?
Get the
You got this
It didn't feel great when you said that it didn't feel great. I know yeah
I understand where you're coming because it came from a place of shame. Yeah, what do you mean?
When you talk about I mean like I said that kind of nasty shit about his girl
My girl I'm like oh I see where you guys and I'm on top to read I walked a mile in issues this is incredible yeah yeah yeah this should be this is
incredible so have you ever thought this is anybody on the podcast what we were
revived this hard with anybody on the podcast before. Hmm. Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Oh, hold on. That wasn't the podcast.
I do. I want to put some beef out there with Neil deGrasse Tyson if I can right now.
He's fake as hell.
I'm in a body dog pile on him.
He's fake.
If he comes for the aliens one more time, because he's throwing out reports.
He's saying they couldn't exist.
We've done the research. He's throwing out report. He's saying they couldn't exist. We've done the research
He's basically saying that what no when he wouldn't say all over the place He's shitting on every alien UFO report and no am I a crazy conspiracy?
You're not
I'm just saying you know real scientists would look into the phenomenon and study it with rigor and
Scientific methods to be a Neil deGrasse Tyson and go on coal baron shed on aliens is cowardly and Neil deGrasse Tyson
If you watch this coming for you, you are he's a rest
I'll probably dap it up
What what else you are have a new one?
Neal, what else do you have a new
of the moon landing?
He's just such a rider die hoe for
that we landed on.
Why is it such a big deal that we
can just say maybe not?
Why is it such a big deal if it
doesn't really matter?
Right? That was let's just keep
it open. Yeah.
He's like a slug.
Not a high horse and saying we have photos of it dude
Japan went up there and we have photos of it dude. Okay. Yes. What we have photos of iron man
We have photos of well fake stuff. I've seen a moon rock. Have you I thought that Aaron's Space Museum
I used to think that was until I'm saying 2016. I thought that was Aaron space music
That's crazy. That's a look into my that was Aaron Space Music. That is crazy.
And that's a look into my history with special needs classes.
That's crazy.
You were in Special Ed?
Yeah.
I'm the king of having been in Special Ed.
Yeah, really?
How many years?
It started, well, they ran it back in Kindergarten because I was not quite getting along.
So you failed Kindergarten Special Ed?
I don't know that I failed. No, they did it. It's Kindergarten. I wasn not quite getting along. So you failed kindergarten special ed? I don't know that I failed.
No, they did.
I wasn't in special ed.
I just ran it back in kindergarten.
Oh, OK.
And then fourth grade is when they started separating me from a bunch
and saying he needs some help.
Really? Yeah.
And you got the help you need?
No, I didn't get that.
It looked like you're hiding back tears.
I would never hide back tears.
It's not funny.
It's not funny. Why are you laughing? That's your best friend, bro. But I know you're hiding back tears. I would never hide back tears. It's not funny.
It's not funny.
Why are you laughing?
That's your best friend, bro.
He said you're his favorite guy.
You never did any remedial.
I was, listen, I was off the charts going to the doctors.
That's for my English skills and my reading skills.
The doctor measured that?
Yeah.
For math?
Yeah, I was fucking bottom of the barrel
I stunk at that I was in I was in
Special needs math in fourth grade and my friend faked a heart attack and it was one of the funniest things I've ever seen
That's so funny. Did it scare the teacher? Yeah, and she had a crazy lazy eye all the way holdovers
That was fun great flick Alexander
Again great flick you never did special needs as well
No, here's the problem girl. What's the GPA?
Like a minus yeah, yeah, so a three
Six six seven. Yeah always around there. No way. Yeah, cuz I that's like the wow
Bare minimum Cuz I that's like the wow damn bare minimum minimum
Really you're a bit of a nerd no no well then how did you get such good grades cuz my parents told me I had to be
President United States
One day president did they really put pressure on you like that? Yeah
Yeah, they used to let me at a podium in our house. I had a good speech
It was terrible. Did you really? Yeah, I did not have sex
I have never had sex with anybody in the world. That's what he should have said. Yeah
I've never gotten pussy or head
I've never I don't even know that's
Bill Clinton that's mr. Clinton. All right, I know
Bill Clinton? That's Mr. Clinton.
I know it's a line of wire guy.
I thought it's your thing.
I know the real shit about politics like the bipartisan infrastructure bill.
I don't know about scanners.
All right, what's that all about?
The bipartisan infrastructure bill?
Look, it was just going back and forth between you.
Of course it goes to the house, but then it gets to the Senate and it's like,
clearly whatever.
Like the Biden finally did it, but Trump couldn't.
You ever seen a mind like that? No. It's like, this is clearly whatever. Like the Biden finally did it, but Trump couldn't.
You ever seen a mind like that?
No.
Working all through this.
When I asked you something else, man.
Wait, did you have to stay in the special ed
or you worked your way out?
Hard work?
This is my biggest complaint about special ed classes.
Okay, let's hear it.
Once you've missed a year, it's over.
Because the idea that I'm gonna have missed all of division
and then jump back in in middle school there's no fucking chance.
Why is that?
Because I missed everything that y'all learned.
Same with history.
I didn't get to English.
I didn't.
So they just miss out on every...
You like did a bid in special ed.
They're like we're gonna give them a year away from Jen Pop.
No, I stayed.
Through 12.
Through 12.
Yeah.
And then we were doing stuff like financial literacies.
Really?
India and 12th grade.
I didn't learn that.
So that you can learn.
I don't have all my money in a checking account.
I was in honors classes, but I was getting Cs and Ds.
Really?
I should have probably been in regular.
But you did it for smart girls.
You were trying to be smart girls. For the librarians. Oh, when a girl is smart.
When a girl is smart. I like that. You want to turn her around? Like a doggy style thing?
No. Can dogs have missionaries? What? Can dogs have missionaries?
Can definitely throw out the dogs who skateboard or definitely do
Dogs can definitely throw down the dogs who skateboard are definitely do
They have the fucking motor skills, you're right. Yeah, they're not having doggy style sex having human style sex That's what they call it. That's that that's exotic for them dogs
With oh, I human style. I thought you meant they were fucking no just dog on dog
Like a doggy style sex between humans is still between humans, right?
Yeah, it's kind of nasty. I don't like it. I said doggy
Disrespectful, I'll just say that I want to see a beautiful face. Where the eye kissers. Yeah. I love you. Yeah. Yeah
What do I look at hair like Patrick Patrick Bateman? Yeah, it's great. I haven't seen that one
He's a sociopath certified American psycho.
I want to see that badly.
What movies have you seen?
Hitch, triple X.
I'm off book on Pineapple Express, for your old virgin.
These are the mini DVD player style movies.
This is what you go into the kitchen and you have the little box.
Being one, Pineapple express. He's smoking.
Seth Rogan's in the car on a crane shot black and white over a field.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You see all the things with Bill Hader, Bill Hader, you know, blah, blah,
item nine illegal.
Yeah, it's so good.
We eat it so good. Yeah.
And then the Mexican guy pulls up next to him.
He's smoking a joint in his car. Down to Electric Avenue.
And then he says, take it to the next level.
Remember, that's right.
In the opening scene?
Seth is smoking.
Yeah.
And then he's, well.
What?
We don't have to do the whole movie.
Keep going.
He's doing his job, auditing people.
Process service.
Process service. Mr. Whatever, blah, blah, blah. Then we meet his job, auditing people, process survey. Yeah.
Right.
Mr. Whatever, blah, blah, blah, then we meet his girlfriend who's in high school.
Yeah.
That's where I turn it off.
That's kind of crazy.
That's what I have to watch for.
That's kind of crazy.
I kind of forgot that.
But he's so young.
Mr. Rogan.
Is that Rogan is what?
21 and 40?
How old is he?
Oh yeah, he's like literally 20.
No, he's like 38.
No.
Yeah, he is.
No. Pretty sure.. His girlfriend was 16
In that movie. No, I mean, I don't know how old he is in character number. He's definitely out of high school
Because he doesn't go to high school. Okay. So he visits his girlfriend visits his girlfriend in school
Who's that Joe LaTruulio?
Joe low Joe low. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Dickhead. JLo. JLo. Yeah. Right. And then we see the bully being funny. Sup, man. I
wouldn't say bully is just the hot jack. Yeah. I don't know. Played by. Forget. I think
James Franco's brother Dave. Oh, he crushed that. Yeah, fire.
Yeah.
Shout out to everybody in that movie, Rosie Perez.
Remember Neighbors?
Yeah.
It's so good.
The party movie.
Yep.
Can you name the whole cast?
Zac Efron.
Dave Franco.
Seth Rogen.
David Axe.
What?
What's Axe?
Dave Franco.
Dave Franco.
Um, who else is there?
Stick with the accent.
Huh?
Stick with the accent. Stick with the accent?
Dave Franco.
PlayStation. I can't remember anybody else from that movie.
PlayStation? Who was that?
Who's dialect? What dialect is that? That's a robot.
That's a robotic dialect.
Japanese, no?
It's a Japanese robot. Maybe. All robots could be Japanese.
Uh-huh.
You guys know Shama?
Shama NYC.
Shama NYC.
You just don't know what I see.
You got to get his ass on here.
Who is that?
He's the white man who learns all language.
We should have talked about this when we were talking about Babel.
He can learn languages like this.
Really?
Like it's not like he's eating candy.
But his big thing is Chinese.
Yeah.
And so he goes into stores.
He's shocked.
Chinese people.
Oh, I've seen those videos.
But he does. It's kind of rude a little bit. It is rude.
It feels borderline.
I know.
Yeah.
Well, there's one.
But then he learns Japanese, and he's doing Japanese
to Japanese people, and they do not give a single,
they like don't care at all.
You don't.
They don't ban them.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
I went there.
It was amazing.
Did they hate you?
To China?
They can't even see.
They don't even look at you?
You don't.
Not even if you're tall, Jack?
You're not even a group. No, they don't even look at you you don't not even if you're
No, they won't care
Who would they like? Not us. Jailma. Not us. They like
Steve McQueen the actor. Oh, they like yeah, yeah, and they like
Rockabilly's going huge over there
Yeah, you know that?
Yeah, I've seen that, yeah.
We gotta go over there and do some Rockabilly.
I had a friend whose big secret was that his dad
was Rockabilly.
Oh, you don't want to tell him?
He tried to hide it.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Who's that guy picking that out?
That was the stuff.
He's cool.
I don't know.
Got the cuff to hear.
Can you imagine your dad has bogues in his shirt?
Bogues.
I know people who were doing this recently.
Who?
I don't want to name names,
but we know sometimes that is Stav.
Stav is doing it.
He's a greaser now.
No, I'm missing.
You know who's someone who might listen to this podcast
who I know for sure does Marty,
but he looks cool when he does it.
Or says he's different.
No, we have a friend named Marty who sometimes rolls his
sigs up into his white t-shirt.
No, shit.
But he does it and it looks cool really somehow how rare of a person you have to be to pull that off
You can pull it off with those biceps. No, I couldn't well the triceps
How many tattoos do you have? Huh? How many tattoos you six tattoos?
Ish what about you zero?
See in the cemetery you guys you guys can go into the baths in Japan
You're not allowed in because of your
I need to put some I need to come really and you can't be buried in the Jewish cemetery
Not yet. I'll get that's the big deal. I'll get a man. You get him in. I'll get you in a sack
You get me to the Jewish cemetery. This is what we're talking about. This is business. Yeah, yeah
Lincoln what would Nate say what would Nate say? What would Nate say? Yeah. Nate right now.
So you think he'd be understated?
He'd be sexual.
He's usually understated until he's not.
I think Nate at some point during this would have gotten up and like screamed
and grabbed your head like this.
Like a big act out.
Yeah.
He would have done the big act out.
I'm trying to think during what bit I bet.
Maybe. Yeah.
I don't know. Maybe like example during the pineapple express act out
Maybe he'd be like he'd be like oh, yeah that one scene where Dave Franco comes in
Something he yeah, you'd love it. He's like wild wild. He's wild, but then he's so sweet. So it's like
So earned. It's not annoying when he's loud. It's like
Mmm, I feel you don't have the confidence to do an act out ever on stage.
What if I do an act out and stand up?
Try one.
Yeah.
So how was this?
So how did they start?
You know what I was saying?
I was with my girlfriend the other day.
So I was with my girlfriend the other day.
You know the real fine one?
Yeah, that's good.
Okay.
And we're walking around.
The feet?
That's an act out.
Clip clop, clip clop, clip clop.
And she's a horse.
And she's a horse.
She's a centaur.
And then you go, this is her ordering the boroughs.
Me!
Me!
Me!
I can't do it.
Thanks for letting us.
It takes commitment.
Yes.
And that's what I don't have.
You do act outs?
Uh-huh.
Because you're very reserved.
Really, because you are so reserved. Uh-huh, I do, yeah what you know the Michael Cain School of Acting do you know about this?
Yeah, you know how he says to be understated
You have master Bruce. Yeah, master Bruce master Bruce, you know the hero go from the
Master Bruce because what he says is when the camera is right up here. I did act up Wow
Because what he says is when the camera is right up here. I did it back up. Wow
Even clock it. It was so natural. That's how natural it was Yeah, but he says when the camera is right here, you can't lie to it really and I think this is something you realize
So any little twitch of a face is going to be a tip
So you want to keep it very understated you're gonna be acting on film. What like?
Yeah, Nate called back hit him back. Let's do it.
Bang is on. Alright. We're working on a riff. What would you say? Hi Nate, how are you?
I'm good. How you doing man? I'm great man. It's great to hear from you. What? Oh, do you want well, dude Nate? What's up, man?
Yeah
Not much man, we wanted to we're just doing a riff on an idea and we wanted you to kind of go in on it
Should we do pineapple express? No, should we do,
Oh, act out, you know like act outs and stand up?
Like we're trying to come up with that,
like act out for Eric to do,
that's like really out of character for him.
That's like really big and crazy and like.
Like for his stand up?
Yeah, for him to like completely show a new side.
And can you do it at like a 10 by the way?
Yeah.
Can I do this at a 10?
Yeah.
Like, are you guys like on a podcast?
Damn, see, yeah, we are.
We are Nate.
We are.
It's so obvious. You guys are on it. You thought you'd get me or you fucked it up. Yeah, we are. We are Nate. We are. It's so obvious.
You guys are on it.
You thought you'd get me and you fucked it up.
You fucked it up.
Oh yeah, I was about to go out of fucking.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, now.
Hang up, hang up right now.
No, no, no, no, no.
Wait, Nate.
Hang up, hang up right now.
What is this?
What are you guys on?
What is this fucking shit?
Can you guess?
Call him.
Hang up right now.
All right, wait, I'm gonna hang up
and then something funny is gonna happen to you
in a couple seconds probably. Damn. And then you'll understand. But let's All right, wait, I'm gonna hang up and then something funny is gonna happen to you in a couple seconds, probably.
Damn.
And then you'll understand.
But let's just say, dude,
get on the check your fucking Instagram followers very soon.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Oh my God.
Talk to you later, man.
You did sound so nervous explaining the...
I was nervous.
What's the number?
What's the number?
You don't have anybody on the? Everybody just show it to me.
Yeah, I'll show you.
Eric, maybe you can say some things about that.
Can you text them pick up a Vegas number?
He'll pick up. I just told them.
He'll pick up.
No, I didn't tell...
Jack ruins everything.
We're gonna get burgers after this.
Oh yeah, what are you doing for dinner?
Uh, hold on a second. Oh.
It's funny if he doesn't pick up.
No.
Hello? I don't know what to say about that. I don't know what to say about that. I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that.
I don't know what to say about that. I don't know what to say about that. I was talking with these guys and they said that they said that I'm so sick that they
don't want to be friends with you anymore.
But then they're like, yeah.
Yeah, they said that they're like, but you have to break up with him for us.
I have to break up with you right now
Eric and Jack are done with you your toxic and you're a liar
Yeah, I'm about to fucking branch off. I didn't I needed this man. I'm about to blow up harder than ever right now
You don't know
I have a angry side and you don't want to see it
Oh, I I know that dude. I know that shit me too, man
How far how far do you want to take this?
You know what cuz I'll take it straight to the fucking I
Didn't finish my sentence
I feel like Eric and Jack are making our day Jack are making you like subduing your consciousness right now.
I know, dude.
Like I can feel their energy right now.
I feel drained.
I feel down.
How do you think I feel right now?
This is how I am all fucking day long, dude.
I know.
Honestly, I know exactly what you're talking about.
You're feeling it, right?
No, no.
Honestly, no.
Just chill, chill, chill.
I know exactly what you're talking about.
They're like kind of, they're kind of just bumming me out.
A lot.
Yeah, they're big, yeah, they're weights on me and I,
and honestly, I just kind of helping them out.
I just want to see you.
I'm kind of like a service.
I just want to see you fly.
And they don't know how high you can.
They were saying that you're a bitch ass and stuff and I don't just even just talking to you right now
I feel incredible bitch ass bitch ass shut up
Yeah, why do we have to only chill on pause dude like it we just chill in life not the way I thought this would end
I live one block from Jack and he goes to dinner, he goes to lunch beneath my house.
And he doesn't even say, I'm getting pasta right now.
Can you come and doesn't even let me say no.
I used to work there.
No, you didn't work there.
Yes, I did.
You didn't work at Format Pasta Factory.
I worked at Format Pasta Factory.
Yes, I did.
What did you talk about?
He did.
For how many days?
How many days? 80 80 before he got tuning
I have news yeah, dude before I worked for Stephen Colbert presents tuning out the news
You didn't know that you were for Colbert worked for Colbert worked with Colbert really I was basically top build at the bottom
See Daisy. All right. Um
It was a bit
Yeah, it's really falling flat and it was a bit. Let me ask Nate something. Yeah, say Nate did we speak on the phone earlier today?
Yes, we did we did
No, that's not what I wait. I remember
I'm basically what I'm meaning to say is that I feel like every time we've spoken on the phone lately
You've been outside on the move. Oh, left me a voicemail last night and you
That's why
Where you going
If you're going to fucking vice right now to pitch a show without me and Eric
Crazy eyebrow surgery or something oh yeah they were saying your eyebrows discuss them no no
they're saying that all right by night we love you that was that really that You know man, just throw it out. Why do you have to plug the shit to the podcast?
Nate?
We'll plug the podcast.
Alright, yeah, you guys okay after all that, I bet y'all want to listen to our amazing podcast called Joy Tactics.
It's called Joy Tactics. Do you know about 2,000 listeners a week what that means?
2k a little more than that like the basketball game
Something like that, but yeah, go check us out
You won't regret it. Do you have like theme music or something? We do. Yeah, we do have theme music
Yeah, oh, you know what I have an idea what you know the whole monologue
Yeah
From from that movie. Yeah, how about you play us out choose life? No, I was gonna play this okay?
Yeah, all right, you get my phone you gonna play where's the phone? Yeah, it's is that a lot
For like seven seconds probably okay Okay. Play us out.
Ginsburg, how much can we play it?
I think you can change the beat.
Okay.
Oh, I can do an amazing cover of it.
Just beat box?
Easily.
Okay, so you beat box, you do the moral.
Easy.
Okay.
And three, two, one, go.
Is this the right song by the way?
Choose life. choose a job
Choose a career
Choose a big fucking television
That's all I know. No, no, keep on just fucking right. I don't know the rest
It's just it I know it ends with you basically what he sang
Someone's getting a phone call. Oh shit. That's my friend. All right guys. This was amazing this work
This worked man. We appreciate you
Thanks for having us on brother
Anything you want to plug?
I'm gonna be in Boston.
Lights are off.
I'm going to be in Boston.
Amazing.
All right.
We're going on tour also.
Go to linktree.com slash Eric Grayhill.
Linktree?
I don't know how to plug this.
I have a Linktree now with all my tour day. We're going on
Oh, yeah, I'll leave North Carolina at the land.
I don't get to.
Chicago, whoops, yeah, whoops, Chicago, whoops. Pittsburgh.
Whoops. Whoops.
Whoops, yeah. Yeah. So that'll be a good time.
When you go to Pittsburgh, you have to go to this bar, Gooskies.
What is that?
Best bar.
Gooskies? Yeah. Is it like a dive bar? I went with Caleb and we're like, this bar goose keys. What is that? Best bar. What is keys? Yeah, is it like a dive bar?
I went with Caleb and we're like
This is so us. Oh, he told me about it. Yeah, it's great. We're gonna. Yeah, it's so us
Yeah, we got an all go. Yeah, I'll go to Pittsburgh PJ after no reason. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god
I love it. I'm looking forward to this
I'm not gonna go brother. What that? All right.
Good night. Good night, everybody.
We're out.