The Adam Friedland Show (Cumtown) - The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 41
Episode Date: February 16, 2024The Adam Friedland Show Podcast - Episode 41 w/ Robby Hoffman Merch Now Live: https://theadamfriedland.show/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theadamfriedlandshow/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/...@adamfriedlandshowclips Subscribe to @TheAdamFriedlandShow for more here: https://bit.ly/sub-tafs -- LIVE SHOWS: NICK MULLEN: https://www.mull.dog/live-shows Feb 16 — Feb 17: Columbus, OH @ Funny Bone Feb 22 — Feb 24: Nashville, TN @ Zanies ADAM FRIEDLAND: https://www.adamfriedland.com/tour Mar 8 - Mar 9: Boston, MA @ Laugh Boston Mar 15 - Mar 16: Detroit, MI @ The Detroit House of Comedy #theadamfriedlandshow #tafs #nickmullen #adamfriedland
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Hello, welcome guys. It's the Adam Friedland show podcast. Give it up for our guest today,
Robbie Hoffman.
Hi, thank you for having me.
Robbie Hoffman from at midnight, the new at midnight.
They brought it at midnight back.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The female guest.
Do people even say like at anymore? I feel like that show came out when like hashtags were
renewed.
It's after midnight now.
I don't know what it is.
But you're the winner.
Yeah, I took the check.
I was the winner even based on everything
they had to cut from me.
Wait, they cut a couple of jokes of yours.
A little bit of blue humor.
Pew, blue.
You want to run those jokes now for the fans?
It's the same format the show that it used to be.
I don't know.
I didn't know the old show. I never heard of it. It was with the... How old are you? Oh, so you are it.
Yeah, but you know, I don't know. And we can cut, let's cut that age because I'm
starting to act. Are you acting right now? No, but I act. I had a part that's... No, she's
like this. She's just like... This is the way I am. Why can't I be the way I am? She's's like this. She's just like this is the way I am. Why can't I be the way I like this?
She's just like it. Oh
You let's cut your age cuz you're
What why do we have can we I'm a guest I don't think I'm a guest I don't think I'm a good mood to it come on
You know the Beverly Hills 90210 very good. Those were yeah, but you're not like you're not like a hot
Beverly Hills 90210. Very good news.
Yeah, but you're not like a hot, young piece of ass.
I am a hot, young piece of ass.
She acts this way.
I am a hot, young piece of ass.
When I first met her.
I didn't cast her.
Yeah, I am a hot, young piece of ass.
I am a hot, young piece of ass.
You thought you were a 19-year-old.
Robbie.
Just because I'm not your taste, Nick, there's a lot.
And by the way, there's a lot of boys.
How do you know?
How do you know?
Because he said I'm not a hot, piece of ass.
But that's his taste.
That's not my taste. So then I'm not his taste. You're absolutely 100% his taste. I'm speaking a hot piece of ass. But that's his taste. So then I'm not his taste.
You're absolutely 100% his taste.
I'm speaking to you as someone else that's also
a victim of the showbiz.
Are you attracted to me?
No.
OK.
Now, by the way, I do have some men in my DMs.
Do you really want to cut?
Let me know that they're.
No, don't listen to her.
Don't listen to her.
I do.
We'll talk after.
We'll cut your aides.
I want to start here. Can you welcome me again?
Welcome to the Adam Friedland show with special guest
Welcome to the Adam Friedland show with special guest Robbie Hoffman
Please
Again go again you're a bully and now you have all tasted your own medicine.
I can only dish, I can't take.
Start it again, start it again.
What age do you want to be?
What age do you want to talk?
I don't want to talk.
What's your fake age?
Just tell us boy, a fake age, so we don't,
because we're going to have to talk about this.
That's how we do the introductions.
We say the age of everyone.
Well, just because in case it comes up,
we can be like, oh, well, you're a course in 19.
You're 19.
19-year-old hot young piece of ass. Can you reintroduce the show? Yes, welcome to
welcome to the Adam Freeland show with special guest Robbie Hoffman friend of
mine friend of the show give it up for Robbie. Thank you, thank you.
That's when it's like you fucked up.
I think when I turned 33 it just sounds bad as a number.
No, it's the age of Jesus, 33.
Was he?
Didn't he die at 33?
Yeah, it's an age people die at.
It's like, yeah.
No, I thought 27 is the age.
It's got 33, they call it your like Jesus year.
27 is rock stars, but if you're a moral, yeah.
Who else died at 33? Nick, you don't think I'm a hot piece ass. I said hot young pieces that in like show business terms
You know, do you know you're not losing any roles by being you do you know?
You're a type. I didn't say you know you're not attractive. Do you know?
Do you know that I have boys who DM me?
I'm not, I'm like, I'm like, you're not Marilyn Monroe.
You're like, just so you're saying nobody wants to fuck me.
I'm like, that's not what I'm saying.
That I'm just saying you.
Rocky walks into a room and every girl wants to be here
and every guy wants to date her.
I have men who say I'm into masculine girls.
If you were someone that was completely un-
Nobody's asking.
If you were untalented, if you had no acting ability and your entire thing was like, look at me, I'm into masculine girls. If you were some of them. Nobody's asking. If you were untalented, if you had no acting ability
and your entire thing was like,
look at me, I'm young, just put me on camera, I'm young,
then it would make sense, don't let anyone know.
Okay, can we?
We'll cut that, we'll cut it.
Nick, he said you're sensitive,
but now he's not being sensitive.
We're gonna beep the age, we'll beep it.
No, I don't want, I start it once more.
For comedy, no, no, for comedy, It'll be funny. I don't care for comedy
Okay, go ahead. Go ahead. We're starting now. Well, I'm to the Adam Friedland show with special guest Robbie Hoffman friend of mine
I show for the ages a show for the ages. Thank you. I talk about Robbie all the time to Nick
He's like who's this Robbie? I said don't worry about it. I don't hear much about Nick What are you talking worry about it. It's my friend. I don't hear much about Nick.
What are you talking about?
You don't hear much about Nick.
I don't hear much about Nick.
I thought you said to me when you agreed to go.
You asked me, first of all, you didn't agree to go on the road.
He said, can I open for you?
Yeah, I wanted to.
On the road, people in the queer community in LA.
They were mad at me.
We're saying that I'm a member of the KKK and stuff.
Yeah, that's what they said. What did you support? You were at a march? The only march I've
ever been to is a women's, I went to a, no, I went to a women's rights rally. Why would
I be at Charlottesville? They say Jews will not replace us. What would I, I've been chanting
that? I don't know. They will not replace us.
Is there any theme today?
Is there any theme today?
The theme of today is Robby with special guests on the podcast today.
We're talking show business.
Great.
Wait, you have a theme for your podcast?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's just a podcast.
You just talk.
Great. Nick, you seeing anyone? I don't know. I don't know. It's just a podcast. You just talk great
Nick you seeing anyone
Yeah, period on a period on it. Yeah, they just had a surgery welcome back to the podcast Nick He's gone last year. You had a gum graft. I had a gum graft. You had a gum graft. Yeah
From where did they take it? I think I'm gonna talk your mouth
You know what when I went skateboarding when I was a kid I thought
this would be my thing. I don't know why. You know I never did sports but I you
know I thought well I'm kind of good at balance. I right away flew off of it. I
gashed my whole face out of this gushing blood. I came home. My mother didn't kiss
it better than I was. She said look what you did! Yeah. Look what you did! How could
you do this? She said you're gonna need skin grafts We were in the cab on the way to the hospital
She said they're gonna shave off your thigh and stick it on your face. I think she was talking about sex change
It was an ointment. I was I was good as a week later. Yeah, did you say yours failed? It did fail
Yeah, pretty disappointing. I was kind of devastated. Does the does a periodontist give you money back for that or what did he say to them? They shouldn't know. They just said see you in two weeks I guess for like an additional follow-up.
But they have to take a pretty big chunk out of like from your other gums.
And now this tooth hurts and it feels loose. So I don't know what.
And he's not going to give you money back for that? This is malpractice.
It's not necessarily malpractice. Malpractice has to be outside the standard of care.
You would have a point, I mean there was a lack of informed consent because I was
just told, oh this needs to be covered. I wasn't, they didn't tell me, it only works
like 90% of the time. You know that dentistry, did you see this new
documentary about the muse, those alt dentists? Dentistry is like such a scam.
It's actually like not scientific. A periodont the things that you do. Well, a periodontist is a surgeon, but a dentist is, I don't consider that to be a surgeon.
It's a, you have additional dental school you go to.
A periodontist deals with the bones and the gums.
A dentist is just teeth.
Now my question with the, so now it failed.
They have to take another chunk?
I don't know.
I got to wait two weeks.
I got to put it, honestly it was like, it was pretty pretty I was in despair when they told me that because I tried to do
Everything right I was being right. I have teeth problems
I I have like a complex where there's been times in my life where I try to do something right and
By trying to like try my best. I really need something to work. I end up like it makes it worse
Well, that's like my new shoe. Gavi hates when I bring this up
But that's my new shoe theory when you get new shoes Let's when you were a kid, and you don't want to scuff them,
you have your shoes for the year or whatever, first day you fuck them up, but then you never
fuck them up again. But it's because you're thinking so much. Don't fuck them up, don't fuck them up,
don't fuck them up. Well, anyways, yeah, it didn't work. So I was pretty distraught. And then he
could see that. And so he said, well, like he's like, you know, whatever needs to be done,
we can go in and we won't charge you.
But he said, we have to wait two weeks to see like what,
you know, how it heals.
And you can't get, now you're going to have a gash
somewhere up here that doesn't have gum.
There's a big chunk missing from the top of my mouth.
And that won't ever come back.
I think.
No, I don't think gums grow.
They don't, if they
recede they don't grow. That's why you need a gum graft. But the reason that
happens is because it's like gum tissue needs an underlying bone structure to
attach to because it's it's received like blood supply through the bone and
stuff like that. So when you have bone loss from periodontal disease then the
gums just have nothing to attach to. So you have periodontal disease?
I mean, yes.
They say that you can't cure it.
It can be stabilized.
They had to get a root scaling and planing done years ago.
And then they don't like, my regular dentists,
they don't tell you anything.
They're just like, oh yeah, you gotta do this.
Like, oh, we gotta do this.
So I guess it's not like they sat me down
and they're like, you have periodontal disease.
They told me we have to go under your gums
and clean them out.
I don't know what my periodontal chart is.
I get x-rays.
They tell me if I have cavities,
but I don't like, I don't know what the pocket depth is
or any of that shit.
I just went through.
So how did you find out you needed this?
The periodontist, he took a look at it.
He's like, that's gotta be covered.
Do you smile?
Are you insecure about your teeth? No, not really. I mean, I went to get, I went to go see periodontist took a look at it. He's like that's gotta be covered. Do you smile? Are you insecure about your teeth?
No, not really. I mean I went to get I went to go see periodontist because one tooth and it's structural
It's because it's like when my my I never braces or anything one tooth kind of you have to watch this mewing documentary
It's exactly what that is. You know what it is?
What is this?
So there's this quack. There's this quack dentist who says that basically dentistry was founded like basically
the first dentist back 100 years ago was like we could do braces and straighten people's
teeth.
But he actually forgot the root of people's problems which was that the jaw actually needed
to be widened for teeth to fit.
So we started just fixing teeth and fitting them into the jaw, needed to be widened for teeth to fit. So we started just fixing teeth
and fitting them into the jaw,
sometimes pulling teeth, whatever.
Instead of making like a palate,
instead of widening the jaw,
but he was so vilified by mainstream.
A lot of recession.
A lot of issues, orthodont.
So he was so vilified because it's such a moneymaker now, it's such a business braces and this is an easy fix. That type of retainer
from when you have it as a kid, you'll grow, your teeth will grow straight because evolutionary,
you know, like, you know, issues were really at, you know, at the root of this issue rather
than the T. It's like, oh, we stopped keeping our mouths
completely clenched with our tongue.
That's kind of just-
That's kind of just-
That would keep your jaw wide.
Now we're big mouth free.
That kind of stuff though is like an intersection
of being a product of a for-profit healthcare system.
Literally.
Where you assume that you're just being scammed
no matter what.
And then you get into dumb shit of being like,
well, you don't need to see a dentist at all. You just put coconut oil in your mouth
No, right there's somewhere in between right and then but then that stuff gets into this kind of like almost like sort of reactionary
tendency where you're like oh well
It's it's actually because we've had we had these old traditional systems of it like
Mewing that that's like all part of like this looks maxing thing where you can improve the entire like physiognomy just by
pressing your tongue against the roof of your mouth what you said no no I was
vaping and then you switched the camera to me and I look like a new haze no I
was wearing this hat before yeah it looks okay. What do you think of the hat? It looks like a,
like a, like the kind of basket you'd see at like a, yeah, it does look like a hat. I thought it was
more like a, I'm going to Boulder because they have the best 420. Yeah. Like I'm going to, yeah.
I'm finding a Colorado Boulder. I'm going to go find a libations bar. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I could see you
and I have a very similar face shape. I have a very narrow face like this. So when I was watching something like this,
I was going, I can see that because I've had cramped.
You know, my problems have been cramped.
I never needed braces, but when my wisdom kicks came in,
they just pitched this one tooth forward.
And when the tooth is forward, then the gums are,
and it's funny because they did a frenectomy also,
where they cut the frenulum, which is the tendon that
holds my lip to my gums.
So how low can your lip go?
That little string at the bottom?
Yeah, that string at the bottom because that's like pulling on my lips.
And when I was walking around, I could feel like every step you can feel.
Because you don't think about it, you're like, well my lip, my gum being like at an angle,
that would really cause that amount of recession.
It's like, well, yeah, 20 years of every time your foot drops.
The gravity.
Every time your fucking foot drops, it's tugging on it.
It's like, yes.
It was like when I got surgery, when I cut my tits off,
the first drive back.
You did that yourself for a doctor?
A doctor.
Oh, a doctor.
And they had to do that to fix your face.
Exactly.
So what happened when I was-
They put your titties into your mouth?
That's what happened.
Wow.
When I was driving home, the first-
Guess what we're gonna have to do now? The first- Teeth are coming off and you're getting a new face. your titties into your mouth. That's what happened. Wow. When I was driving home, guess
what we're going to have to do now? The first... Teeth are coming off and you're getting a new
face. From skating. And everyone's going to call you a tittie face. The first time that
I drove home, I could feel, because they saw this power, basically your stomach back to
whatever they... From your chest. So now you're like this. And I could feel the pull. It's
such an awkward feeling to feel a body pull.
I could kind of feel, you know, this is wanting to go down
and this is wanting to spring up.
Everything has a sensation that you're just like,
like, yeah, everything used to, basically.
I think if like, you know, people are like,
oh, if I could be somebody else for a day,
I think just the sensation, the physical sensation of it
would probably drive you insane.
That's true.
And you'd probably be be in a state of discomfort
that you could never comprehend.
Like even just the way your hair touches your fucking...
How long have you been growing your hair?
35 years.
Oh, you've always had long hair.
His hair grows.
Since he's had hair, it grows and he gets cut.
Since we started the show, I just haven't taken care of myself.
This is the first time I went to a doctor.
He had a very long beard for a long time too.
He looked like a chussid.
Well, with the long hair.
He looked like a...
Yes, the year started, so it's not, well, yeah.
You know, Robbie grew up in Crown Heights.
She was...
Wait, actually...
I guess it was her 34, so this is the year of the dragon.
Yeah.
I was born in 88, he was 86. Oh, happy Chinese New Year to our Chinese listeners by the way lunar new year. Yeah, but for me 88
You're your birth year every 12 years. I was born in the year of dragon. This is your dragon out. It's actually bad luck
So it's gonna be a terrible year terrible year.. And half the reason I went and got this done
is because Chinese.
It was right at the buzzer.
No.
Chinese New Year, they say, make sure you
get any dental work done before February 4.
Specifically that.
You have to go, if you need anything with your eyes
or your teeth done, do that.
And the period was like, I can see a January 29th,
and I'm like, perfect.
And I go in there.
Because yesterday was Lunar New Year, right?
Yeah.
Well, for your, what is it,
Ben Ming-Nian,
I don't know what they call it.
I think that's it. It's your birth year
in Chinese zodiac.
If, like, to,
first of all, someone has to buy you red underwear,
which no one has done for me yet.
So if there's somebody that wants to show you... Why don't you ask?
I would buy you red underwear.
I don't think somebody has to just do it for you.
You can't ask.
I'm not going to be buying you red underwear.
You said someone has to, so maybe someone will.
Well, I do have one pair of red underwear that was given to me for free by Mack Weld
and years ago.
All right.
Former sponsor of the show.
Yeah.
But, you know, Chinese people will go get their teeth cleaned at the
beginning of the year because you know you usually bleed and you or they'll donate
blood so that later in the year you don't piss off like the god of furniture
arranging. Yeah. And he like makes you get hit by a car or something. So luckily
with this I think maybe I've shed enough blood that the rest of the year I
won't have to deal with any kind of physical ailments
All right, let's let's fingers crossed. Do you believe in Chinese that kind of stuff? I don't know anything about it
I don't really know anything. Did you do regular astrology?
Anything about it either. Yeah, how do you live in LA and not know anything about it? Well, I know I'm a Sagittarius. Oh
When's your birthday December 2nd?
What are you? Yeah, so what do we know about it? Well, I know I'm a Sagittarius. Oh, when's your birthday? December 2nd. Are you a Sagittarius?
So what do we know about it?
I don't know. I think it's a cool one because it's like a centaur.
Dragon is also cool.
We're supposed to have a good personality.
You guys have two of the best personalities.
Well, you said that we would be like oil and water, which we kind of are.
No, I said that you guys are kind of similar people.
In what way?
Bone structure, look, general look.
Those that was called, I watched the Super Bowl last night
and you get the sense,
first of all, half tongue shows dog shit.
I disagree.
Phenomenal, she didn't like it either.
No, I like it.
You know what I wish it would do?
Give me one or two songs.
The whole song.
Fine, maybe not the whole, whole,
like you can show it in the beginning and the end,
but 30 seconds clip, clip, clip. The whole whole like like you can show in the beginning the end, but but
30 seconds clip clip clip clip. Like they're always trying to put a black man in a dress. Who's that?
Teric N' Sheed. Teric N' Sheed, not a comedian. Yeah, but they do that. Well, I mean,
Cat Williams also said that on the Shannon Sharp interview. They put black guys in comedies and
they make them a like they feminized them in aize them. It's called buck breaking. The worst example of that of all time now is making Usher roller
skate during the Super Rolls. They didn't make him, he did it. They put him in roller
skates. From what I understand he is a... What's wrong with roller skates? He's on
the down he's in the download culture from what I from what I Yeah, it seems pretty you know you're in the coming. I would assume that he is you're in the download community yourself
He just seems it to me
I don't know yeah, and I could be wrong by the way it shouldn't be I got in trouble on a show
I was writing on to call it a show is even an overstatement. I was writing on the Chris
and trouble on a show I was writing on to call it a show is even an overstatement I was writing on the Chris Ketter Show and we had somebody on the show there who I thought was abroad like me we all know what that means okay and she was you
know hot young piece of ass and we had this job but we had to sometimes write
like if the guest was was being interviewed like this we'd have to write
a lower third like what it says on the TV screen for them. So like Adam Fionn
host you know that sort of thing and I would always give it a...
They gave that to the writers to do that.
Yeah I would do a cute thing that was like one of the things we did. I would do a cute
thing like oh stupid drives a Subaru or you know has cats whatever lesbian and I
got called in saying you you can't insin know has cats whatever lesbian and I got called in
saying you you can't insinuate that somebody is gay and I said what why not
what is wrong are you saying something wrong with what did you write for the
guest like what's wrong with being called gay should I take that in a what
did you write light in the loafers. Oh, scissors occasionally. Scissors occasionally.
Like, who cares?
Was it not a lesbian?
It was a closeted.
Closeted lesbian.
Now an out lesbian, by the way.
And it's like, I get in trouble.
The thing with getting me in trouble
is we're going to see who's getting who in trouble.
I get into that meeting and I say,
what the fuck is wrong with being gay
or calling someone gay?
Uh-huh.
Do you have a problem?
If somebody called me straight,
I would not have a problem with that.
See it's so nice because I mean nobody's hired me on anything since 2017.
But there was this nice little window where like they would hire people, not you know like
they would have to, they were being more conscious about their hiring.
You would have more representation but then they would still hire one bad white guy like that would be the balance. So the one
white guy they hire isn't gonna be like you know black lives matter it's gonna
be the guy that's like ah they got an extra bone you know. One bad boy. Yeah
right exactly. No but you know what I think I actually disagree with that I
think the white guy who stays there is like the one enforcing the woke shit the most,
because he's like trying to be subtle about that fact that he's the white guy.
But they figured it out, because like, you know, they had a kind of sweet spot in 2017
when famously the best TV shows of all time were coming out.
But no, I feel like...
Was that when Schumer was winning
winning Emmys that was when Kurt was Kurt was the good old boy yeah yeah yeah
do you see the new curb no Kurt I couldn't make it through speaking of
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Let me look through that real quick.
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Why?
For the surgery.
Oh, for the surgery.
I understand.
And I didn't shit for four days.
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And then. Enema of the state. I finally did. I hurt myself pretty bad in the bathroom, but then I was like,
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Then it's all running, coming out.
Yeah, yeah. So I shit myself. Luckily in the bathroom like two days ago, the mando
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You're in the bathroom. Can't you get in the shower right right away That's what I did when I was at Nick's house I wanted to clean myself up first and then go in the shower
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I think Ginsburg took the rest of that shit home.
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Did we already do a read with these people?
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So product we haven't even been able to show on-
Is it bullshit? There aren't any other boxes here?
I think the wipes was what
hey let me tell you this the whites work great I call myself up there was okay I
want to give a shout out to my sister hi who I think really invented the using
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What's it for?
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And it's scented.
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They just put a different smell in there.
It's like, OK, tell me how they did it.
Yeah, tell me the science.
Tell me how they did it.
What's the science, huh?
Of what?
How do you add, yeah.
Use code T-A-F-FS at shopmando.com.
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Women need to always control the pH.
Vaginas are like swimming pools kind of.
You have to do like a little test trip pH vagina would be a good I think I'm not a little
play right pH vagina yeah I think it's mostly when when when we're having sex
with men yeah that's when it gets fucked I don't have to deal anything with
anything like that with a woman I'm saying at girls you know I don't I don't
have to technically have actual sex personally no exactly yeah it's just a mushy so
that's why well we don't really do that either it's mostly fingers tongue and
toys third base it is she's into washes yeah yeah do you like it yeah it's right
on try it on kind of shocking why is that shocking I don't fit with the rest of
the outfit I I guess.
Why does she like the rest of the outfit?
You see that like a really nice watch?
What's wrong with the rest of the outfit?
It looks like it's from a gift shop in Dublin.
He's talking to me about my outfit.
That's prologue on TAFS and shopmander.com.
Let's go back to this.
Can you imagine that he's talking to me about my outfit?
Yeah, I look like shit in bra.
I'm having so much fun right now.
I'm not wearing a bra.
Continue.
Let's hear about her outfit and the Rolex. I think it looks so nice with my outfit. I'm having so much fun right now. Continue, let's hear about her outfit and
the Rolex. I think it looks great. It looks phenomenal.
You know what, this watch I wear every, I wear this watch every single day.
Is that the Air King? It's just, it's a simple, it's a 1991 vintage Air King.
No, she doesn't have super-old. No, I don't, I don't, this, this, I think Steve Jobs would
roll over. Good, fuck it.
If he, if he saw that this is what they put out
That still looks like an iPhone 3g just on your wrist. It should have he would have put it out when it looked like this
They have Snoopy on it. Yeah, I'm so you know by the time it looked like a watch remember when the air Mac Mac air came out
Right he came out with a manila envelope just an envelope. He's like oh
He came out with a manila envelope, just an envelope, and he was like, oh, I just have an envelope, and he pulls up this computer, beautiful.
With the watch, until it looked like just a regular watch, he would have just walked
out and been like, what's the time?
Flipped it, and it would have turned on.
But instead, they threw his old iPhone 3G onto the wrist.
It's like nobody is fooled.
What do you mean?
It's just not a watch.
It's a phone on a wrist.
It's got Snoopy on it. It has Snoopy on it as your text. It's a phone
wristlet. What else do you do with a new? I keep track of where we are with the
reads. Yeah, can you do that? Yeah, I can do that. Can I try it on? Yeah, looks so good on you.
It looks really good. You know that I tried to help Maya get you one for for Christmas.
She's not gonna spend that money. Why she comes from I really have her spending at the apartment. You know that magazine do pot registry, okay?
But don't close it because your wrist it's not much bigger than mine, but it's I have a woman's wrist
No, he has such bad hands, but look how good that looks don't close it though
This is a very simple watch we gotta get in
It's a very simple watch. We gotta get in the time.
No, I'll never do that.
I'll never be a watch guy.
Feel so good.
No, you won't.
Feel so nice on this.
Thank you.
Thanks for letting me do that.
Not at all.
When I first met Robbie,
she's a first.
Stop, stop being prideful.
Put it on this hand.
I'm not being prideful. My sense of comfort is being my space is personal
space. He's he's he's he's fucking. No, you respect his
space. He's being he's being my best friend. You'd be
respectful. I'm your best friend. Kind of. Yeah, me and
I'm just business partner. No, that's not true. I kind of. Yeah, me and him are just business partners. No, that's not true. I kind of love,
I'm in love with both of you. In kind of similar ways also. For different reasons. No, kind of the same.
Kind of the same. When the two of you make fun of me. He wanted to try it on, but because I
told him to try it on, he said no, he's one of those guys. Okay, they don't think it's gonna.
And if I don't tell you to do something you want to do It doesn't like that one
Okay, I was close before
No, Nick has oppositional defiance. You can't tell him what to do. He has to happen exactly yes to happen
He's like I don't like that. He's like a girl. It's not a girl
Exactly, so what are we gonna be like? Oh, wow now I now I get it
We see she said she was doing a nice thing where she said
I was doing try it on and you'll be like try on my expensive watch
No, and you would feel maybe a little bit nice being like
Queen of England
She wasn't doing it in a rude way no no she was
Let him let him it all from, it's all projection.
Okay, so Robbie, Robbie DMs, it's not projection.
No, you don't even know what that means.
So that's okay.
Robbie DMs me, I meet her in New York, we got along.
And then she DMs me, I see you're in Portland,
can I come feature for USA, of course.
Wasn't that fun?
We're in the airport, I meet up with her,
she refuses to take her mask off.
This is years after COVID.
And I say, what's with the mask?
You're actually at this point, it's kind of rude.
And you're like, I can't tell you.
Big dicking me.
Big, like, I can't tell you.
I just had my tits sewn onto my face.
I just, I can't tell you.
But like, you're a, I cannot breathe your air, right?
Eventually takes the mask off.
We argue for four hours, straight up four hours,
screaming at each other, and she looks down
at my hands at risk, and she said,
your hands at risk are pathetic.
They're very small, they're very small.
She highlighted my number one insecurity,
like with laser-like focus.
What I'm saying is, the two of you,
there's an intimacy to the way both of you guys
make fun of me, which is comforting.
It makes me kind of feel loved at a certain point.
I don't think I make fun of them really.
Criticize, criticize, criticize.
I was just saying, the hands are small.
It's as if you know me so well.
I say things like you're late to show them.
It makes me feel loved. No, there's more. There's there's more
There's more uh, have you guys seen each other's penises?
Probably over the years at this point. Have you seen my penis? Yeah, yeah, we did we from the from the
We from the boys chat during coven
All right, we all send naked pictures.
No.
Okay.
During COVID, my friend Brian in a different boys chat started a game that we all started
playing where we would, the game was it's gay to send girls a dick pic, but it's cool
if you send the fellas a dick pic.
Right.
So we started in that boys chat.
And then I said one, and then Brian said, are you puffed?
I said, I'm not puffed.
And then he sent Maya a picture.
He said, tell me if Adam's puffed in that.
Very funny.
And so then I'm in a different chat with Steven and Alex
and Nick, and I played it there.
And so yeah, I suppose Nick has seen my penis at this point.
And what did you think of it?
I completely just, I forgot and told this moment.
How could you forget?
I don't know, I don't care.
I remember my dad got up one time
and his like ball hung out from his fucking underwear
and I can't forget it.
Your father's testicle.
And I probably was six.
You never saw his full packet?
No, just the ball, I believe.
I guess you're not a boy.
I saw my dad stick a lot, bro.
Oh, yeah.
We changed that.
Yeah, no, your dad kind of just walks around naked until you're like five or something.
Yeah, it's annoying.
It's gross.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have you seen your mother naked?
I mean, well, I mean, we bathed together until.
Yeah.
Have you seen your mother naked? I don't know. Yeah. Well, my mom's still just gogled. I mean we bathed together until yeah
Yeah, well my mom still just go like she'll shit with the door wide open I
Used to I feel she visited me. She was like doing that in my apartment. I
Literally I feel so bad when I think back on on seeing my mother naked We would go to the all girls
Swimming at the Y and we would change in the locker room into the bathing suit
So maybe I'm also a kid. Maybe I'm eight years old. I don't know how young I am
But I'm a little kid and she would change so freely. I was such a private kid always
I would go to the the stall the bathroom stall even in the locker room and I would change that and she and her tits just
flew up and I and I would call her I'm like it's
Disgusting she a big girl. I would call a woman like her, I'm like, it's disgusting.
Is she a big girl?
I would call a woman, like I was like, nah, it's disgusting in her hair.
Your mom's a big girl?
My mom is, is like a bowling ball.
I mean, she's got a body.
Oh, she's had 10 kids.
I mean, her tits are massive milk jugs.
She, Robby, for the viewer, she's a, she was born in Crown Heights, you were Lubavitch,
and then you moved to Montreal.
To Montreal. Your parents divorced and then you moved to montreal
your parents divorced and then you moved to montreal
another lubevich community in montreal
so naked eye at great tea i mean do you have any additional information on the
tunnels do you that you want to share
i know the whole thing about the tunnels did you call me about the tunnels
somebody called me about the tunnels
i think i text you and i said that we
we need to protect our boys well i think now it's because a protect our boys. Well, I think now it's pretty known.
But basically there's this faction.
I don't know how interested your audience will be.
Don't give the boring answer.
Give a funny answer.
I'm giving the boring answer because he talks 16 minutes about his tooth.
I can't talk about this.
You were asking questions about his tooth.
Exactly.
I'm the guest.
Okay.
Okay.
So thank you. Okay, so thank you.
There's a faction in the Laba'u Jewish?
Yes.
Is he?
Of course.
I'm not Jewish.
OK, but anyway, there's different kinds.
You know there's different kinds of person.
We know.
We've talked about the truth.
I understand what the tunnels are for.
They've already been told.
Adam's explained it.
I explained it already on the show.
He's wrote it to you to give a joke answer.
It was a joke answer. It was a joke answer.
It was like at midnight.
What did you tell him?
That these guys that the Rebbe had plans to expand 770.
That's not true.
Yeah.
You don't want to get permits.
That's not true.
That's not true.
What is it?
So give us the truth.
What is it?
Is there's a faction when the Rebbe died, everybody you know mourned him, but there was a small
faction of Lubavitch Jews who
considered him the Messiah, the Messiah.
Mm-hmm, myself included.
This faction grew a little bit a little bit, and they felt like this is his temple.
That's where he was the rabbi, that's where he was, you know, the altar ebi and all that.
And they wanted a bigger place for the idea of him being the Messiah. So they were trying to, yeah, not expand what was already there,
but make almost a separate space under there.
And eventually maybe take over the rest of it.
I don't know about that.
But they were trying, there's now infighting a little bit.
Some who believe he was the Messiah and some who don't believe.
Most people don't believe,
but the few people that believe
were trying to make more room for that.
Why would you believe that he was?
I know.
I know, because everything is still shit.
Exactly, it's like, well then fuck this.
I mean, stop.
Well then you're a Christian.
No more religion here.
Yeah, like it didn't come.
Yeah, it didn't do anything.
Well then it's coming back. If Christ stays back. If Christ, Yeah, it didn't do anything. Well, I guess coming back if Christ Jesus if Christ
if there was a second coming, yeah, right? And and he's like,
oh, here I am and he proves it. He's the son of God and they're
like, great. So like, can you fix anything? He's like, nah, I
can open a fucking Carmax franchise. Right. Yeah. That's
about it. No, it wouldn't be the third coming because he died
and then he came back four days later,
no?
But the second coming of Christ is...
Yeah, the Messianic Age.
...the war with the Antichrist.
What's the Antichrist?
The Antichrist...
It's probably one of the two of us.
Have you had Shia LeBuf on yet? You know he's a Catholic now.
I'd love to have one.
You want to know about the Antichrist?
Yeah, what is it?
Ask Nick.
Yeah, the Antichrist, all the Christians, Zionists, they believe that there's going
to be, the third temple will be built.
The base of MacDosh.
And the Antichrist will put himself in the
throne of god at the third temple so can't we get on with just building this
temple that's what i said that's what evangelicals want to do well that's what
i've said so they have so much money they build all kinds of churches this is
next plan for peace in the middle east so are they building it or what
first of all here's the thing israel can go go into Gaza and they can kill 2 million people.
They can do that and there will not be any kind of meaningful consequence.
The Arab world's not going to do anything about it.
There's not going to be any.
So the humanitarian solution is for Israel likewise to just blow up the al-Aqsa Mosque
and build the third temple.
Right.
And they need a red cow and they need a red cow.
They need a red cow.
A lot less people will die.
The Arab world will do nothing except get mad.
There might be like a little bit of terrorism,
but nobody's gonna die.
You build the third temple and then nothing happens
and then we can stop.
But where's the third temple?
Because people like Joel Olson are all.
It's on the Mount.
You have to build it.
Oh, it has to be somewhere specific. It's on the Mount. They're building huge churches
now. There must be a temple that you gotta you gotta build.
You gotta build a big Dush. Okay. You gotta build it where
the first one. Do we have a base of a big Dush again? No,
they have to do it there. Oh, it's it's the Jewish third
temple. Yeah, the Jewish third temple and that's evangelicals
are breeding the red heifer in Texas. They're breeding a red cow. That's that's what kind of drove it. That's what that's evangelicals are breeding the red heifer in Texas. They're breeding a red cow
That's what kind of drove it. That's what that's what make a sacrifice
At the at the base of make that show of the red cow because it says in the Bible
I feel like they should have been able to do this already
That Nick saying they should try they didn't have enough the first of all the cows didn't even exist in Israel until the 1980s
But they can't sacrifice a different cow? No, it has to be a red heifer.
And it has to be, you have to have a certain amount
because you need that to purify all of the Jewish diaspora.
You know what my whole thing is?
Listen, there's nothing I don't believe to a point of,
like if you told me there was an afterlife,
I'm like, sure, that's just as plausible as us being there.
You believe Santa? Like, whatever. You sure there's that's that's just as plausible as us being there
like whatever
you said there's nothing you don't believe
it could happen I don't know
Santa could happen
it could I don't know
it could be a saint
I don't know
I haven't seen anything
but bottom line
about the nightmare before Christmas
do you believe that if there's halloweenville
halloween town and then christmas is it possible for jack it possible for Jackson to go to Christmas land and then become Santa?
If there's an afterlife, it's as possible as that we're here. Okay. My whole thing with organized
religions and their narrative like this, they need a red heifer cow or this and that is like how
specific? Like I could understand to a religious person, okay, yeah, maybe there's something greater than us,
whether it's a God, it's energy,
it's whatever you think, I'm down.
But to say like there's such a specific narrative,
it's like Mary married this and had a baby,
and then you know, it's like, and the son,
and the, you know, it's just like, it's too specific,
the red heifer and this, it's just like it's too specific, the red heifer and this it's like it's too
specific a narrative if you had something more general
I can understand that.
It's the specificity that sort of bolsters the belief
Yeah, it's a lie.
From the outside to a story.
It's not because it's a story from the outside you're like yeah, they need a red cow.
I mean it just seems absurd and crazy. But if you're in the religion and
the source of all of the red cow stuff and all of that specificity is also saying over 75 years
these things will happen and they seem specific,
but you could like vaguely apply that to different times in history then these people that's our entire community.
It's like, okay, the state of Israel is created like
that's our entire community. It's like, okay, the state of Israel is created.
Like there's a war from these outside nations
and Israel wins despite all odds.
And like all of these things, it's like the specific.
Oh, so that was called sometime before
and then all these things are happening?
That's why I think it's on the rise
is because a lot of it, a lot of,
and it all comes from like Ezekiel and Revelation.
So these were like predictions that now we're seeing.
They're in the Bible.
Oh, okay.
So evangelicals in America see this and they think these, this is, oh, it's happening now.
Yeah.
But what happens?
At the bottom of it is just like a very basic like thing that's true about human psychology
is that your brain has designed to solve problems and see connections and things.
And so like there's always, especially if you're already involved in the religion,
but you're going to look at something that says like, oh, it says all of these things
are going to happen and you're going to try and make that true.
Right, exactly.
It's like when you start looking, you know, it's like, oh, I always, you know, I have
a lucky number.
I'm starting to see it all the time.
Well, you're more into looking at it.
But they can't understand something so simple as that.
Well, that's what I'm saying. The idea will continue to persist, but the humanitarian
secular answer is literally to just blow up that fucking mosque and let just build the
third temple.
Well wait, that mosque, can't that just be the third temple? What is it now, the mosque?
No, it's a specific design for the temple. Oh, really?
But it's also a mosque. It's not...
Is it a temple though?
It's not a... Yeah, but it's not...
Oh, it has to be a synagogue.
It has to be where that mosque is.
But how long has that mosque been there?
Since... 1300 years.
So it's been there forever.
So why would it also be there?
The second temple was destroyed in the early turn,
like right after the year zero.
Oh, and they built the mosque over that.
Like the what?
Yeah.
Did they build the mosque over that?
Hundreds of years later.
It was the Babylonians that destroyed the second temple.
You know what, I feel like Hashem,
I feel like God would understand.
If we built the third one, let's say you believe this.
I feel like God would understand,
listen, there was already a thing there. We moved it over a couple of feet
Yeah, and we built it here like what kind of a God is not like unless you got me my exact thing
What is he like King Tut?
Yeah, the God from the Old Testament is like a like a like a messy bitch. No, literally. It has to be
exactly different. Can you have the design to see a gay guy? Can you have to go back to
biblical times and try to explain Sandra Oh to them? Like just yeah it's like you
know what she's like an actress. She was great in sideways. Yeah. She was. I watched that.
I loved that movie. I loved that movie. And I thought seen it. And I thought, you know what? I love it.
I was a kid and I thought it was so boring.
But I didn't know what the hell was going on.
It's so good.
I watched it recently. It's so good.
I watched it in Tampa with Caleb.
It's really good.
So us.
It's really good.
I want to do a trip like that with Nick one day.
Speaking of.
Yeah, speaking of.
Okay, I'm getting water while you do this.
Okay, speaking of.
I'm going to get of. Do you want
water? I'll get you water. We were on a bad start. I'll get you water. You'll see. Make sure to use
the cool setting rather than the cold one. I am using the cool. Because of its stitches. The middle
button. It's, there's a medical thing, okay? Do you see this guy?
The middle button, I got it.
Okay guys, ever tried to break a bad habit
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I love that line in the copy. Welcome back, Robbie.
You gotta get... Where is it? Give her one.
Here, Robbie. Here's the product. What is this? So it's flavored air.
Oh, I love it. I've been saying they should have something like this.
They give us a bunch of these, so you can take that home with you. Wait, I've been saying they should have this.
So try it out.
So open it up.
The packaging is really nice.
Really nice packaging.
These are the cores.
So you got to put it in.
It's very artisanal.
And look how heavy that is.
Feel that.
That's part of it.
And feel the action of a twist.
Feel the action of a twig.
Got a digit thing too.
Feel how heavy this is.
I know, it's nice.
It's natural materials. Really how heavy this is. I know, it's nice.
It's natural materials.
Really nice.
This is like substantial.
That's actually why I wanted you to try on the watch is to feel the weight of it.
I love something that's a little hefty and substantial.
I have a dress watch that's very light that I love for that, but I love feeling like I'm
ready to go.
Know what? My dress watch was nothing.
It's a Hamilton.
Here you go.
So this flavor core is crisp mint.
Load that into the fume.
It's like loading a gun.
Merry Christmas, everybody.
Merry Christmas.
Am I doing it right, though?
Yeah, load it.
Oh my God.
Do you see it's like loading a gun.
Okay, and see the bottom?
See the bottom of the wood?
So you can control the amount of air that you're pulling.
So I like to choke it down, like only a little bit of air
so it feels like you're really pulling on that.
But where do you, you don't blow out?
You blow out.
There's no vapor.
You're not supposed to say either of those.
No, it says instead of vapor, it's flavored air.
Oh, okay.
But what do you do?
There's no, I want, you know what I do want?
A little bit of...
You want that is what you want.
You want this, you want this, Robbie.
The taste, the taste the first time you tried it.
Wow, I don't think, this is perfect for me.
It's amazing, isn't it?
The taste is great, you know what the...
You know it No?
We already had to redo
We had to redo the first ten minutes of podcasts over here
Okay, well fine, you want to start on a new start, so I'll say exactly
This is exactly what I've been looking for my whole f***ing life
Is this the blow air that has a little bit of a gum in it?
Thank you, Robbie.
Okay, think of a refreshing herbal tea if it is a great
It really is a great thing to play with. That's what this is ruining this. No, it's
You can do it all day. It's like a fidget spinner. I did the same thing
I picked it up. I'm like, oh, it's kind of like a fidget spinner, but they designed it like that on purpose
So you can fidget with it and what's's, like, this has like two pieces.
Is that anything or just designed to hold it?
It's nice to hold it, you put your fingers.
It's incredibly well weighted, it's perfectly balanced, and it's extremely fun to fidget
with.
Yeah, it's like two, you can have it, like if you have like a string or something, you
can.
Yeah, I'm a fidgety type of person.
I fidget with my hair.
It's really designed for people with tactile a fidgety type of person. I fidget with my hair. This is helpful for
me. It's designed for people with tactile fixations. Yeah, because I do this with my hair a piece
since the third grade. And my teacher said that I would go bald by six feet. I never
did. So I continue to do it, but it's not great for my hair. It's no question. No, it's
not great. So guys, here's the deal. You start your gear off right.
Does it give you good breath?
It does feel kind of minty.
It kind of, it fills your mouth with a good flavor.
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I don't know how long this thing lasts.
It says three days and they give you three.
So this is like a f***.
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I will go back through it and we'll make the I think I made it so good
You didn't do anything you made it incredible and you a lot of that matches what I'm wearing. It's kind of classy
It's classy. It's got real natural materials wood. Thank you. I'm gonna keep start the good habit at try see that stand
You dot com slash tafs Thank you. I'm going to keep this start the good habit at try see that stand fume.com
Tafs you know what you know what makes me think I'll remember you don't see them anymore, but you know the thing executives used to have on their desk the
Oh, yeah, the penquill
The bird yeah, oh, I love that thing. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. I love that thing I love that thing. Yeah, yeah, I love that thing. I love that thing. I love not the Newton Blossom.
I love that thing.
Yeah, yeah, this thing.
No, no, not the drinking burrow.
No, but I have your real vape.
Don't you think now that the commercial is over,
if it had a vape, but no nicotine, that would be perfect?
We'll wait to say that word.
We'll clean, don't worry. You're phenomenal.
You know what? I've watched your show.
Most guests, they get questions, this and that.
So that's the talk show. You're on the Adam Friedland Show podcast.
Is it video?
Yes, it is.
Both are video.
Both are video.
Yes.
So you can't ask me questions because we're not going to talk.
I'll ask you questions.
OK.
OK.
So Robbie.
Nick, did we do OK on this film?
Yeah.
Yeah, we did great.
Good.
We did great.
So Robbie.
Yeah.
One of these things, a bird, it balances them.
I love that.
I love that.
Fucking bird.
I love that.
Yeah.
What is it, magnet or weights? Yeah, I think it's just a weight. Weight. I love that. Fuckin' bird. What is it, magnet or weight?
I think it's just a weight.
Yeah.
I love those kind of things.
Nick, did you like those toys that were like two things interlocked?
It was like a puzzle.
Yeah, yeah.
You were good at those?
Well, I didn't know if I was good at those.
My dad was always really good at those.
Remember how the mall used to have
like a discovery store?
Yes.
The mall would have, there's that,
and maybe it was a Smithsonian store.
I miss fucking around at the mall and poking it.
You know, you go into the Radio Shack, you put some out.
Brookstone sitting on the massage chairs.
Yeah.
I love the mall. You just putst around.
I love the mall.
Anyway.
Yeah, we lost seven recessions, the things we lost. We really did lose that. I loved them all. Anyway. Yeah. 07 recession.
The things we lost.
We really did lose that.
A lot of stuff.
That culture was great.
Yeah.
You grew up right by a mole.
Yeah.
And then that mole, they did not survive the 07 recession.
You know what really killed was like the mid-tier like restaurant, restaurant, like Ruby Tuesdays and
Menegins and all those places. I just want to go,
I guess, Applebee's is the only thing that lasts. And Chili's. Which they're all shitty.
They're so bad. But you used to have options. You know what I mean? It's like,
should we go to Chili's? It's like, no, let's go to Chevy's instead.
Or Chewchee's. Chewchee's just make salsa now.
Carabas is still around too. It's not macaroni grill anymore.
It's just Carabas macaroni grill is now Carabas.
And they run ads everywhere now.
I've been driving a lot and listening to the radio.
So Robbie, you're from Canada, right?
Yeah, I grew up in Montreal.
Do you have an O1?
No, I'm a dual citizen.
Cause I'm born in New York, my mother is from Montreal. And so I was born a dual citizen. Montreal. Do you have an O1? No, I'm a dual citizen. Oh, right. Oh, right.
Oh, right.
My mother is from Montreal, and so I was born a dual citizen.
Montreal.
Yeah, Montreal.
I was hated the way they said it there.
How do you say it?
Well, they have to make it like stinky, or just because they're French.
Stinky French.
Why?
How do they say it?
They say Montreal.
Montreal.
You know, I asked a French friend of mine from Paris what it sounds like to him, and
he said it sounds like shit, the way you guys speak French.
What do you want from him? He said it sounds like to him and he said it sounds like shit the way you guys speak French what do you want from him? he said it sounds like a... my mother was divorced
she was beaten to a pulp for 13 years I go without a father we went there we
I'm not saying it has nothing to do with your... okay I share with my sisters we had
some cat for the mice I don't know what to tell you what I'm saying is the
accent to them sounds like it's from the 1800s. Well, it was very bad.
We didn't have French and we were forced to learn French last minute.
You can't pick up a language.
How's your French?
It's good now, but it was really hard when you're suddenly going to French immersion
school.
You're learning math in French.
Did you have to learn other things like menage-toise and stuff and having an affair?
We did do that in Sextet.
Smoking cigs?
Yeah, I smoked a cig in high school. Yeah, you learned like more of a French culture
Yeah, but it was you know French Montreal French culture is just disgusting. It's like redneck speaking friend
Yeah, it's really the role
There's a real big riff don't they like not have a word for like car
auto
Yeah, because it's like, well, that's English.
No, they say auto.
It's a cognate.
An auto?
What's the word then?
They have word for car.
I pulled my stitches again.
No.
Oh, you pulled it?
Yeah, you gotta like fucked up.
He's playing hurt right now.
No.
We have ice, what should we be doing for this?
Oh, fine.
But aren't they like missing words?
Because like that French was imported like 200 years ago, so they didn't.
The French is so dirty there, it's very like,
I'm biased because when you grow up on Anglophone there,
and they're so mad at you that you're not learning French fast enough.
Like, hey, you learn French, but my accent isn't good.
Like, it's a second language.
It's actually a third language, for me.
So it's like, I'm doing the best,
and it's not good enough for them.
It's like, I remember then I finally knew French.
I'm working now in Montreal, one of my first jobs.
And we go out after work, a Sankassette, five to seven.
You're an accountant?
Yeah. And we go out, work a Sankassette five you're an accountant. Yeah and we go out and the waiter comes and
I'm speaking French with all my colleagues, whatever
The waiter comes I order an English. They said why'd you order an English?
You know I miss you too. So I said I prefer to speak English. I told it to my friend and it's like they're insults
It's like I actually don't love speaking French. I
prefer to speak English.
It's not, they take it so personally.
It's like, it's nothing to take personally.
I also don't like playing soccer.
It's not, what should I lie to you and say, oh, I love.
And they all speak English too.
They speak English, but they make it a point.
It's the same in Paris too.
They're rude about it.
Yeah, it's like rude about it.
It's like, bitch, I learned the shit.
It's not gonna be perfect.
You don't speak fuck all
Your English accent sounds like trash. Yeah, I
Asked a French friend of mine recently to do like you know how we do like a stereotypical Chinese accent in English
I'm like, what does that sound like the French version? Yeah, do a real stereotypical
And I asked Chinese and he did it and I'm like that just sounds like
stereotypical and I asked Chinese and he did it and I'm like that just sounds like
French to me and I was like can you do like an African accent and it to me to my ear I was like that just sounds like French and then he did Belgian and it was like
And it was like so insulting and I could tell I was like oh they look down on these people and think that they're the absolute
biggest losers in the entire world.
No Montreal has such a, the French there just in Quebec they have such an inferiority complex like they think like they you know I go up like hating Toronto like you were supposed to hate Toronto.
I moved to Toronto they embrace me with open arms.
Yeah but those people are folks.
Okay no they embrace me it was great I loved it but it's like Toronto's not talking about Montreal that way
I was like Montreal is a fun place like we go we go for a weekend we drink whatever it's like in Montreal
They hate the rest of Canada. It's like they're insecure about something that said it is a better hometown to have than most
It's the best city in like if I get in Canada if I get to you know
I get to bring my girl my home that we're going in May got willing I get to bring her to Montreal
It's like way better. She's bringing me to Denver
No, Denver is crap. No, but do you know what I mean? It's like at least I'm bringing her somewhere fucking amazing
Nick loved loved Montreal. You did. What are you doing now?
Sorry, okay, I don't know But What are you doing now? I'm checking to see if I'm okay here. Are you okay?
I don't know. I'll make a follow up.
But, uh, I mean, Montreal was fine.
You went on the boat?
On the road boat with Savy at a very romantic day?
Yeah, I mean, we just had something to do during the day.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm kind of, there's really no part of Canada I thought was like, awesome.
Toronto I really don't like.
I love it.
It's weird.
There's something like off about Toronto.
There's like a desperation about Toronto.
Really?
Like they really want to be accepted by as like a cosmopolitan place.
Yeah, there was a coffee shop that had a sign in the window that said our milkshakes bring all the genders to the yard
And I was like that you see that's our Brooklyn. No, no, no not that because that's no that's insane
Yeah, it's a song from 15 20 years. Listen, I don't think the US could talk about being dated the style and everything
The US is the best I was gonna say about the halftime show.
I thought it was bad, but whatever.
I mean, you enjoyed it, whatever.
I like the songs.
All right.
It's not just the halftime show, but then all the commercials I see, there's references
to friends and fucking Ben Affleck.
Yeah, what the fuck?
And all the shit where it's this, I could not tell the difference
between this Super Bowl and Super Bowl 33.
You know, it's like, has culture just like frozen?
I think all commercials are like,
you get two random celebrities,
you get like, shits, creak, gay guy.
Not listening to what I'm saying.
It's that, it's like, all of these cultural references are incredibly listening to what I'm saying. I hear you exactly.
All of these cultural references are incredibly dated.
Well think about why they're doing this.
You know what they showed also with the Super Bowl commercials?
The redoing twister.
Really? Yeah, like we're not even
making a new idea.
One of the celebrities
like commercials
they have kid and play.
It's fucking kid and play event like they're like... kid-n-play. It's fucking kid-n-play, they're like, like.
That's 40 years ago.
I mean, yeah, literally.
How far is 40 years ago?
It's from five.
It's like, is it 23-year-old being like, oh, oh, shit.
Fucking EP and B.
But you know what it is, people watching TV are that.
Cause all young people, they're not watching TV.
So the Super Bowl
ads for people watching I think most they're catering to people that are 30 years old who just want to see the same thing over and over. No, no. Exactly. You know, it's just they cannot make
a new thing for love and money. It's just it's it's it's now it's just an equation of you need
this and action and you know and the stories are so bad. It's all for kids. Every superhero movie
that they have I mean superhero movies are for kids. I'm over comic books. I mean it's just
it's insane. It's insane. You know what's a good thing about Gabby is that she didn't hear nothing
about her girlfriend. Yes she didn't hear nothing bad about Woody Allen. She
doesn't she was kind of under the rock with that. She wasn't so we're I was
texting you what are the good movies and we're watching movies again and it
feels amazing. I just I just showed her private parts. Howard Stern's movie. I love
that movie so much. Incredible movie, but we are not making
narrative movies anymore.
Like cheap, good movies.
But they have to spend $150 million to make a crap movie.
And still the movie's crap.
But morons in the middle of America,
that's when when you talk about taste and style
and whatever you go to Canada, fine.
You went for three days and you weren't immersed, fine.
But the majority of this country, I guess,
is going to see.
Yeah, but hold on.
A comic book.
That's always been true.
That's always been true.
You think it's always been true?
Spider-Man 6?
When we were kids, it wasn't always true
that we remade the same movie.
So you're saying that Middle America somehow
got rapidly dumber
since the advent of the internet?
Yeah, maybe they knew that they couldn't ask for more.
No, the business changed too.
I just mean that there's nothing really...
But that's what I mean.
Marvel shit does exist.
Because it makes money.
But during the Super Bowl, you're not seeing
like, oh, whoever plays
Miles Morales,
it's like we need Ross and Rachel from Friends
for a Visa commercial.
And it's like, they look, oh, they look terrible.
They look fucking awesome.
And the other faction of the Super Bowl commercials
had this religious element.
I thought it was a Dr. Scholes I thought it was a doctor Scholes commercial.
They were washing the feet, washing the feet.
He didn't see the first half.
There was like a Jesus loves gay people ad.
And it was like just some like a dad from like Ohio
washing like a super gay guy's feet.
And then it just said Jesus at the end.
Yeah, it was all these images of people washing people's feet
Which I thought would be great for dr. Scholl's it says he gets us. I would think it's dr. Scholl's
You know who I imagine is a Jew. I don't know
You know podiatrist of some kind. I don't know doctor. That's not a real doctor though
Whatever, you know what I mean, and then it says it was about Jesus Jesus didn't hate he washed feet
I'm like maybe he washed feet a couple of times
I wouldn't say that he was sitting there scrubbing down like at the you know at the manicure place
He washed he said you wash a neighbor's foot, but he was mostly a carpenter
I have to imagine he wasn't washing feet every single day like the commercial they didn't say what he made though. What did he make?
Carbons, yeah, cabinets, but did they talk about like the though. What did he make? Carbonsry? Yeah, I don't know. Cabinets?
But did they talk about like the what like what does he make?
I always think of that actually.
They say he's a carpenter, but they didn't like can he is he good at dovetail joints?
We don't even have like the Jesus chair. It's not one thing that's like famous from him.
No, they literally.
You know like Herman Miller or something.
It's like it's like in the Holocaust when we had six million people in labor camps building.
They were building with.
More than six million actually.
10 million.
Okay, but we were in labor camps building.
Is there a single building to come out of the Holocaust?
What did we build in six years?
What got done?
The Jews?
Yeah.
Munitions probably, artilleries.
Stuff for the war effort.
There's not a single structure.
So what you're saying is that maybe it didn't happen.
The labor maybe that didn't happen.
The labor.
I'm saying, I'm not saying that I, you know, that I'm a disappointment.
You know what I found out is like, so when they set up the death camps,
like the pure death camps towards the end.
Yeah.
Is, you know, because you're like, how do you, how...
Well, they're impure, what's a pure death camp versus they were labor camp we're a labor
and they would get it oh and then you die yeah they didn't start until last like
what 18 months they were when they were like just burning them yeah let's just
and then final solution yeah when you talk about it in industrialized genocide
but there has to be all this planning that goes into how do you get a bunch of
people you load them off a train and then you can't just be like
okay get in the oven you know it's like it's just gonna cause chaos so they
would set up and I got this the showers they have little fake towns they had
little like fake like it's like the commissary and like they set up like
fake like so like and we go to lose six flags
Yeah, I have like the fake storefront. Yeah, so that people get off. They're like, okay
I guess this isn't like right. It's like a little community or something
They're like, yeah, you know, of course it is and then they're like go through here
And then you go through there and then they set up a whole way so that each were like row of people and they had actors
No, some of the prisoners they would be like hey
Do you want to help us do this and they're like do I have to die?
And they're like oh, they didn't have like loony tunes or anything. No, they take something like yeah
You just don't tell people what's going on. You can be the guy that says the coppers. Yeah. Yeah
Oh very sad the Holocaust. Yeah, it's really terrible. Very funny. They made props. Yeah. Yeah, the
Yeah, it's really terrible. But very funny that they made props.
Yeah, yeah.
They made it like a post office and it's a loon in a town hall.
Oh my God, thinking about it makes me sad.
I watched Schindler a couple months ago.
I never seen it. I got to see that.
It's a great movie.
Is it really good?
Have you seen it, Nick? I like Ralph Fiennes.
I like Ralph Fiennes.
I only saw it once and then I watched it a second time recently.
And it was good.
Hell, I cried my eyes out.
So sad.
He's a good man, that Shinler.
I got in an argument with a friend of mine, a Jew who's like a know-it-all type, and
I said, I was like, I'm kind of feeling Shinler.
Like you want to come over and we watch Schindler and he said they're way better they're way better
Holocaust movies I want to kill him I want to punch him in the face
What's the best Holocaust movie? You've seen The Pianist?
Pianist is good.
Hey Jim Brody that kid was good.
I told you my dad and I got, my dad got really mad.
Yeah, well, yeah.
He has such a lame thing to complain.
My dad was like, everyone was protecting this guy
just because he knows piano.
But the heroes were the resistance fighters
that were protecting him.
And that my dad was mad also that he stayed in Warsaw
after the war, after what they did.
I know, but it's like, you you know what i mean when you can't move
such a big slap you have to move now
you just got out of the holocaust
i gotta set up a truck
it's just like let me just like
it's truly you hold
and he's got a piano too probably
he has a piano
he's lucky his house was still there
did he get his house back?
No, but I'm saying if you're after,
you go to your apartment and you dust it off like fuck.
Let's just get our bearings again.
There's gotta be dust everywhere.
People have so much judgment for what people did
after the Holocaust.
Like your dad, shut up.
You're in Vegas.
He was in Africa buying and selling slaves.
My dad was not alive during the Holocaust.
No, but it's like what he says,
he was not buying and selling slaves either.
He shouldn't be judging what people did after this. He was doing neither of those things for the record. not alive during the Holocaust and nobody's like what he's not buying and selling slaves either.
We shouldn't be judging what people did after this.
He was doing neither of that.
They did what the hell they did.
For the record, yeah.
Do you have any questions for me?
So what's LA like?
Yeah, what's LA like?
What's Hollywood like?
It's a dump.
It's a dump.
You've been.
We're in LA.
He hates LA.
Echo Park.
I mean, yeah, it's all a shit.
She's got a great place.
Yeah, I'm in Echo Park.
I have a really nice apartment. Yeah. Yeah, you stayed. Yeah. Oh
I would are you ever considering getting your your car switched to manual? No
Do you think make as a car guy? Do you think it's for some are you a car guy?
Just to do a manual swap on what a. I have a very old, not very old, 2007.
I got it actually for $14,000.
I sold my other car for $9,000.
So really it was like nothing.
But I've already banged it up quite a bit.
I'm not a great parker.
Here's the thing what I do with parking.
When I bump, then I meant, no, it's base Cayman.
People who love Porsche hate my car.
What do you think about that? I'm not a Porsche guy. I don't really give a shit. He doesn't give a shit
He knows a lot about cars. I just like cars in general like what what cars cuz a Porsche guys
That's like a watch thing. It's a Rolex Porsche guy kind of thing. It's like it's like a Dupont registry sort of
She's kind of a dandy
Yeah, well, I like it, you know, this is kind of more of a sentimental.
Even if you're not good at parking, I mean, in LA, it's like you're dependent on everybody
else.
Exactly.
That's why I bought an old car.
I'll never buy a new car.
If you're street parking your car, that's just crazy about fucking bedsties.
Like, there's like guys that have half a million dollar cars.
These would be our Rolls Royce just parked out on the street.
It's insane.
Yeah, buying a new car or buying a fancy car. Show Nick a picture he'll like your old car.
Show him a picture of your Corolla.
My old car, I like Toyota Corolla from 1983.
That's a Nick kind of car.
I bought it for $3,600.
Pretty good.
But the reason, let's see.
I have it here.
Was a hatchback?
Me driving. Somebody took this picture of me and it was posted on some car thing. It worked amazing, but I couldn't say no to the money once it was like it was vintage
and then COVID it grew up. So I was like, you know what I could use it. How many miles did it have on it?
It had 140. And you bought that in LA? I bought it in LA. Yeah, that's the cool thing about Southern, California
There's a bunch of cars and they're all in good shape. Yeah
Yeah, I know I know snow. Yeah, you know the Porsche thing is I grew up my father loved Porsche
Now I don't have a relationship with my father. We're estranged. He's you know demented and very sick
I think probably I really don't know anything about him. But there's a few things.
Well, actually, we have him here today.
Let's give it up for Robbie's dad.
Thank you.
But this is more sentimental.
But as I grow up and think about him at my age
and he had all these kids, he had 10 kids by 30
and those stress and all this stuff,
I start to enjoy the ways in which I do have a relationship
with him through myself.
So it's like, he liked that car.
I grew up for whatever reason with a reverence for that car.
No matter what, it's in you from before five.
He loved that, I remember.
So for me, when I'm driving that car,
even if it's the shittiest version of it,
he told, it's whatever, it's banged up.
I just get to enjoy the ways in which I'm like him
or what things he liked.
We share.
Through material, materials.
Yeah, through something like a material thing.
First, that's the only reason I like that car
and knew of that car.
It's not like I know every other car.
I really just know that car.
Nick knows every, especially Lena.
You know what I mean?
I wouldn't say that I know about cars. I just, if I could know that car. Nick knows every, especially Lena. You know what I mean? I wouldn't say that I know about cars.
I just, if I could do that.
And I always like small cars just generally,
just being somebody who grew up in cities in New York
and Montreal, it's just a truck.
Like now everybody has like, I'm small and fast.
The car is small and fast.
It feels very like it matches.
I wouldn't, you know, I don't see myself in an SUV. I know
friends who, they don't even, you know, it's just them. They have an SUV. It's like,
they got to park that. They got to move around with that. It's just, it's big.
Well, that being said, let's keep an eye out for what?
What? Eye out for what?
I just want to settle this watch thing.
What's the settle?
Thanks for joining us.
He was in security. She wanted Nick's the settle? Thanks for joining us. She wanted Nick to feel nice.
Thanks for joining us.
And you violated Nick by.
Thanks for joining us, everybody.
I'll be in Columbus this weekend.
Guys, I will be next month in Boston and Detroit.
What did you say?
One of the worst things I've ever done is this podcast interview.
Why?
Just was.
Just was.
It was because you were shitting out at it. No, there was an animosity from the get go. And why just was just was because you're
shitty at it.
No, there was an animosity from the get go.
No, there was.
I came in with a positive.
Share how long it was sharing sharing.
Sharing.
I will be in London, England.
Next month at the Soho Theater.
Go check that and Robbie's podcast is too far.
May 2nd.
And maybe it may second at the Bell House in New York.
I will be doing stand up.
And you can listen to my podcast, Too Far Pod, wherever you find podcasts.
And definitely this is the part where the guest usually says thank you for having me.
Thank you so much guys for having me.
I really appreciate this.
Thank you.
Bye Rob.
See you.
Thanks Robby.