The Always Sunny Podcast - The Great Recession
Episode Date: February 20, 2023Marion this is not your wave, bro!...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Maybe I'll start the episode this way
Dead air, but that's just on our phones. Yeah
I'm just I don't want to waste any of the conversation. I don't either and also
I'm sure you guys feel the same. There's always like a million emails and things
There he is he's in the building
He's in the building. Oh, there he goes
What's known as a false start
We're not gonna we're not gonna be talking about
No, I don't mind
Oh, no, no, he's not he's not he's still he's got a
45 was the email 45 what we did say to get tested for a nine-time
God forbid things start a little early when everybody's busy, but we love to but we're not go ahead
This is not
Okay, now we go silent again. Oh
Man
Now to be clear and fair to Glenn he is six minutes seven minutes early. Yeah, right? You're super early
You're super early. I just didn't want you to feel bad because I know how bad you feel about a new band shirt
Which the fans will like, you know, what's that? Oh band shirt. Yeah, and it's new. The band is not new
This shirt is new. It's not that new
No, but I haven't I've been worn it that many times that two of them
And I think I got I think I grabbed the one that I don't wear as much
Okay, now notice that you flipped up the cuff. I've got a large and a medium and this is the this is the large
Sleeves a little long. So the sleeves are a little long on it. So I flipped the I flipped it a little bit
Yeah, I don't like it. I don't like it when this I wish that t-shirts were made. Let's get into this
Tell us what's wrong with t-shirt t-shirts
You know the problem with shirts the problem with life is is when you're the type of person who has a fucking opinion about
Everything you know, you're like a strong take on like everything. You're like, I just wish the t-shirts now this but are all seriousness
I I wish that t-shirts sleeves were just a little shorter. I don't know
You can't see I can't seem to find one that is the sleeveless. Yeah, you want like a Vinnie Bobarino. Look
Stop to go and Vinnie Bobarino. I don't need to go full. Yeah, it's like literally coach dad now
But like you don't want that you still want to be able to be like I could work on this car if I need to yeah
Yeah, you know not get grease on my mid arm
You were at the Super Bowl. I was at the correct the Super Bowl. Yeah now
That's an event held every year for the for creeps and listeners who aren't familiar with the
The sport of American football
Are they planning on doing it like every year or?
I think that's the plan. Yeah. Wow. Yeah for the foreseeable future, right?
So then does in that
Regard then like is there any point to it at all? Well, yes, because every single person that's on those teams
Represents that town that they're from
Yeah, I know I have I have an interesting thing in my household where I have one son
Who who has taken such great interest in in in football sports in general and he'll and he just absolutely loves the NFL
And he watches every game. He's both an Eagles fan and a Chargers fan because he lives in Los Angeles
And so he's really embraced it. I have another Rams fan. No likes the Chargers
and
I have another San Diego's team
Let's be another son who does not give a flying fuck about the NFL watching football on Sundays
Now he does watch soccer he and I would get a lot of football football with me
Yeah, okay on Sunday, so but then he I brought him to the NFC championship game
And my one son was just all over it and my other son was just sitting there not truly not not caring at all
Yeah, he was excited because we were excited, but then then he asked me subsequently
Why do you care about this and I said I don't know how to explain it?
Can you explain it actually I can try to explain it because I can because I don't I can't figure out
I would love to care about I actually do enjoy watching football
Yeah, I really do. I I really enjoy what I don't enjoy is the fact that a one-hour game lasts four hours. Well, sure
That's ridiculous. I would say I can explain it this way. Well, now first of all, he does watch
Foot I'll call it soccer for our audience. Let's call it. So he watches soccer
And he's a big fan of rexum and he watches soccer with me every Saturday morning and he's so he gung-ho for rexum
He just doesn't care about American football. I will say in terms of caring about
I know I'm caring about professional sports and why you should care about it or why people do
I've got another whole television series. That's about this very thing. If you just checked it out
You should check it out. It's called welcome. I just don't care to watch it. You know what I mean?
I just don't care. I just don't care
That's fair
But if you just check out the first five to ten minutes, you might see why other people
Across the globe have embraced the television series
I'm growing up in New England and with my buddies and everyone was a Red Sox fan
And so it has been a bit of a bummer to be out in Los Angeles and you lose a little bit of that
Even though people love the doctors and they love the Lakers and they love it's cool
Community on the sports bars and the
Gathering I think that's the problem for me out here having grown up all over the world and and not even always
even in the United States and then settling in a state that doesn't have any
Great professional sports teams like Alabama. Well, you could roll tide
Is a professional sports team sure well, yeah
To make a shitload of money for there
There's an argument for the organization
The Georgia Bulldogs are an NFL team could beat half the NFL teams. Well that now see why hasn't that been done?
It's just an exhibition match, you know the the top NFL team versus well, buddy
I got a whole sport to sell you it's called soccer here in the United States
But but in the across and that very thing that you just said does exist
That's the beauty of the English football system. We get it. You have a football team
You have a soccer know what I'm saying is that you you have lower league teams that play
Higher league teams and you you see that very thing happen
Yeah, you like boxing and the idea that there could be an upset that some scrappy kid from the middle of nowhere
Can beat the champ? I like that. I mean that's rocky
That's rocky. Okay
Sports movie ever made but even Alabama I was there from like 10 to 18
You know and I was an Auburn fan while I was there, but then once I left
Literally nobody gave a shit when I where I went to college. Nobody cared about college football
Nobody it was all about NFL football and those like yeah, but I haven't really been in it
I don't know, but I mean I did grow up
I was a I was a Raiders fan growing up and
And a 49 I don't know how you can be a 49ers fan and a Raiders fan, but I was a 49er. It could be whatever you want
Well, okay. Thanks, man. Yeah, appreciate that. I appreciate the permission
But then I just I don't know man
I can't well, it's also it's also like if the game was
Well, it's two hours, right? Yeah with commercials. I think I'd be more likely to watch it
It's just about the finding the story the story that you identify with and the thing that you fall in love with in the same way that you
Could go and watch a play that's 20 minutes long
That sucks and want to leave after 10 minutes or you could watch I've heard you talk about a four-hour play that you were riveted by
Right exactly amazing or a movie
The story you care you care, but see that you gotta find ways you gotta find reasons
Yes, a hundred percent and that's why that's why all those shows like all those competition shows like American Idol and stuff
It's all about the it's the story
It's not like yes, the singing is extraordinary
But it doesn't mean anything if you don't know the person's background and they don't you know having a compelling and I got a whole show
If a whole series for you, it's a song. Yeah, it's always sunny. We cover that. Yeah
We do cover that on it's always sunny in Philadelphia the the show that we should really be here to talk about
Yeah
You know we where we talk about the reason we say why all the shows work why people watch sports and into it's always
I don't know. I have I have a good segue. I think I
Have a good sunny. I really I have a good transition the whole time. Well, I have a good transition
Well, can I just say one more thing one of I think that's one of the things I always really responded to when it came to boxing
was
it's two people willing to get in the ring the most physically like exhausting sport, you know MMA certainly but like
You know just getting your just pounding someone and getting pounded by somebody and there's no teammates
To rely upon, you know, I mean, yes, you've got your coaches. You got your cut man. You got you know all this but like
just
the savagery of one person versus another with intent to kill
Yeah, that's what gets you off
That's what gets you out. There was that sort of like a gladiator sort of style where there was like three or four of them and the lion
Loose
Okay, so you it's not you're into the team if I know the back story, you know the back story
Like there's too many people on the football team. I can't memorize everybody's back story
I don't have time for that. What would speed it up get rid of the refs
Just let the boys fight it out. Just play it out. You know what I mean?
No penalty is just like whatever just bash bash your way up and down the field
Yeah, no one's upset about you know whizzles and calls. Just just just no refs. Just the clock has started
You know the rules go that would have helped me out this weekend. That would have helped me out
Well, there was one particular call at the end of the game that
That was brutal now at the holding call. Yes, but you can't complain about it
They shouldn't have been in there in a position in the first place
Yeah, but that's a that's a that's a brutal game changing call. It's not the reason that they lost
It's just it would have been more fun to see the Eagles with the ball at the end of the game with down three instead of down seven
With six seconds left. That's yeah. Yeah, but that's the sport and I'll say that I was pretty bummed, of course
It was a great season now thus far this year
I've watched the teams that I love and follow lose come in second place
No, which is essentially which is losing in the championship game or there or the version there of
the FA
trophy final the league final
in
the EPL
Or the English system the Phillies lose the World Series the Philadelphia Union lose the MLS Cup and now the Eagles losing the Super Bowl all in person
Well, listen get used to it, buddy
I mean, it's always sunny in Philadelphia is the second place of TV shows
Oh, I think we're like the 15th place
We're number one in one category, but you can't win if they don't let you in the competition, you know what I mean
High five from over on this day. Yeah
They're scared to fight the street fighter, but my transition is that I was pretty you know, I was pretty bummed. I came home
Leo was pretty bummed. I took my son Leo and
We got home and then I realized oh, we have this the podcast tomorrow
That's something to look forward to and I get to watch an episode of sunny. So I thought okay
I'll cheer him up. He gets to watch a very few episodes of sunny not quite old enough yet
But we just popped it in and we watched it and man this episode is so funny
And kid friendly safe this one. It made it made me very happy. We were laughing
I'll point out a couple of areas where he laughed out loud because it's interesting to see what a 10-year-old can laugh
And when I was laughing as hard as I've ever laughed at this show, let me let me guess the laugh out loud
Say Danny hanging himself and then pop it up. So don't try to stop me
Don't try to stop me. Oh my god. That was me laughing. Leo was very confused at that
Okay, okay, I didn't quite understand any cut in his
Knife
Danny cut me with it with a knife
Slade I mean we were both he was Leo's laughing so hard
And then I was laughing at that and then him laughing that I started crying laughing it
Yeah, and then that got him going so good. I got big Chris Farley vibes off of that. Yeah, it's his
Oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah
But then him taking his briefcase into the bathroom
Tussent turns man
Conversations which don't have like crazy twists and turns but are very very just funny
Conversations well, this is where we can talk a little bit about the business of making the television series because that's what we really got
Boned in that circumstance what we may have mentioned this on the podcast before but we'll bring it up again
Yeah, since this is the episode ad sales really boned us on this one. Yeah, what if you recall? I remember yeah big time
Well, they reached out to us and said would you be interested in doing some kind of product placement?
Which we've done in the past sure right cores
Actually, we've done a ton of them and they said Dave and Buster's and we said sure
What it would be funny if we just actually didn't just say Dave and Buster's but like made an episode about it
I'm like kind of making fun of it
But also kind of embracing it and
It wasn't also like a light suggestion that we were early in our game
And it was more like guys you have to do this because Dave and Buster's is not going to give the show a lot of money
It was like of course
We can't force you but we really strongly suggest you find a way to work it into an episode. We're like
Oh, we're smart guys. We can do something and talk about Dave and Buster's and have it be funny
I think we also found it like I you know
It's always funny when you have to make the unexpected choice of like the characters actually like really respecting and loving
That's a really funny place for us to have an episode so great
Let's do it. Yeah, so so we had that going and we and we made that and it's a business and we
They we needed to keep making the show and they came to us and said we need to keep paying for the show
Would you guys help us out? So sure. So sure. So but what we didn't know was that they also made a massive ad sales by
Right, right. They were for the right. So what was happening was yes
They were airing. They was the sole sponsor of the evening
Yeah, and you would you were watching the show where where the characters are talking about Dave and Buster's then they would cut
To a commercial and the first commercial you would see is a Dave and Buster's
Yeah, I know people went
Bull people are rightfully pissed off and like, you know, like now if you go watch that in
Streaming or however, you're finding the show big deal, right? You're like if they're in Dave and Buster's, it's funny
But yeah, man combine it with a Dave and Buster's commercial every yeah
That that seems like foolish on there on their part like you're actually getting less for your money in that sense because
You're in you're enraging people. You're enraging people. Yes, and that is what happens
So we so I remember a bunch of phone frantic phone calls. Maybe it wasn't even that night
It was the next day we saw each other and and then and then we called FX and we were like, what the fuck like you?
You completely like hung us out to dry
You asked us to be your good partner and then you did something like that and to their credit
They came back and said it was just a miscommunication and a mistake and so well, and I wanted to be clear to I mean, you know
to be clear to the audience this
When a show does product placement the money goes to the network
So it doesn't go into the pot that we don't make that money. We don't make any money off that
Including the ad sales. No, we don't make any of that none of that
But but what it does is it justifies the cost of making the show for the network. Yeah, so we're indirectly
Yeah, because they're more likely to continue licensing the show because they're not spending as much and yeah, I was doing a
Golf tournament thing like and and
There was a guy there and I guess his job is like
Hooking people up and connecting celebrities with things. I don't know. He was
Not affiliated with me who's really someone else perfectly nice guy
I'm not totally trying to drag him, but he kept saying to Mary Elizabeth and I you know if you want I can you know
I can get you guys into Dave and Buster's and I'm thinking like
Oh, I get in today
Anybody yeah, you you being polite like, huh? Yeah, oh, thanks, man. Thanks so much. She's like
Wait, wait, you profusely thanked him for a little bit. Yeah, okay. Yeah, you're just trying to yeah
You just want to I don't want to lean into it. You know sure but uh
You kept doing it and kept you know
Frequently be like guys. Let me know
You know if you need that David Buster, so I got like what on earth
What on earth I can get into David Buster's
We never figured it out. I let it I let it so I thought you were gonna say that you finally figured out what the hell
He was talking about like he's gonna let you know
I think his thing was like he knows people you can get your tickets like good tickets to Lakers or something
I don't I don't know if you want to get me an unlimited power card
Maybe that's what he meant. Maybe that's what he meant. Maybe that's
Then lead with that don't tell me you can get me in a David Buster's yeah, cuz I can get in myself
I got legs anybody can get into
Yeah, I was thinking last night of how many I use the door
We've talked about how many presidential terms the show has seen
But I was thinking last night in terms of the the cyclical nature of them of the markets
How many how many economic? Yeah up swings and downturns have we gone through right and it's it's it's really two major
major
Recessions although, I don't know that we can consider ourselves in a recession quite yet right now
But but like it was like peak peak market when we started it was like getting up into like 2007
Yeah, then a crash then it came back and now we're
We're in an inflate a period of inflation right now. Yes, we may or may also not be dealing with on the show
Well, we are yeah, that's okay. We are we can talk about it, right? Yeah
You don't know how we deal with it. Yeah, you don't know you don't know you have to do it stupid. We know
So what else?
the recession episode yeah
the conversations about about not understanding how
money works not understanding how
Economics work finances work
All the all those were very funny conversations to write and conceive of like I especially that that that last speech that we have
We're you know, we're trying to figure out how the money circulates and how how a self-sustaining economy works and
not understand not
Born out of a bunch of comedy writers in a room like all asking each other like wait
How does it I think there was nobody that took an economics class now? Yeah, we're gonna be fine something like this
Yeah, it's just something like the money
Meg could you explain to us how the
I tell you one thing I was right about months and months and months ago on this podcast and I
I feel like I got dragged a little bit for saying it though
But like well the gas prices went through the roof and I was like it's insane
I'd like just just charged less for gas like and
And maybe as an oil company, you don't profit as much
They you know, they just released their profits, and they're like oh, it's astronomical. Yeah, like guys. We did fantastic
We did great come on it. They're killing people like I try to know how it works. Yes, I do. Wait, who's who drag
Who's dragging you people online? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah? Yeah people wait a second people online
Online online
I was right. They're just taking your money
You heard it here guys. You're wrong and Charlie was right. So shut the fuck shut the fuck up and stop paying so much
If you don't know the shot then don't take the fucking shot
Now these guys don't pay for gas. Yeah, to be clear neither. There's no electric cars
Now Megan, how does the economy work?
No, that makes I also have no idea how the economy works. That's why I'm asking because I do feel like it works with greed and
mmm and
wealth and greed
creates wealth and
When too much greed creates too much wealth and no one else has wealth and they're like oh now we got a little bit of an issue and
Let's charge
You're describing as a revolution
The meek shall inherit the earth. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait
The meek shall inherit the earth. Oh fuck yeah, greatest
Hey
So you don't want to be up here on this on top of this mountain on this on this gold house
Okay, because the meek shall inherit the earth. So
That's how the economy works isn't it like we control the masses through religion. Yeah, yeah
We keep the meek meek. It's meek poor or is meek just like kind of like scared of loud noises, you know, I
It's not a very flattering term. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't want to be known as a meek man
Yeah, and it's weirdly close to mink. So I think I'm like a little animal like a little mink
Yeah, dude, we know so much about the economy
Guys I'm trying to hire someone to do press for me and I can't find the right person you mean like a publicist
Yeah, no ideally someone who just like does it for me
So I don't have to you know
I give them the talking points to hit and I say, you know
You pretend you're me and then you know then I go tell them to hit those points. It sounds like you're the publicist then
No, I'm just a guy at home
Not doing all the press, you know, okay
But one of the biggest hiring challenges of 2023 is
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Somebody do the press a double a double. Yeah, ideally. Yeah. Yeah, they do let you set attention grabbing labels on zip recruiter
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This show is sponsored by better help an online therapy service that can help you feel like your best self
We've heard when Charlie and Glenn feel like their best selves on the golf course and after a cold shower
But Rob, when do you feel like your best self?
After rex on the clinch is a big match. Ah and clinching matches. That's Welsh for win a game
Yes, well, that's English, but yes, of course
That's never a guarantee that they're going to clinch sometimes you're supposed to win and you don't sometimes you're not supposed to win
And you do is this all to say you wish there was some kind of sports therapy to help you cope with the stress of owning a football club
I'm all for therapy and if the licensed professionals on better help have positive coping skills for tough matches
Like the Super Bowl by all means you've tried it. You guys have tried it, right? Oh, yeah
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Speaking of things that you don't know in this episode. There's a classic quote that doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about stars to dispute
Yes, yeah, that's definitely that was Robert Zell. I remember him
Yeah, pitching or writing that line to me like that is so good. Yes, because Charlie thinks that he burns trash which turns into smoke
Which turns into stars. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good one
Shot a lot of this one in Philly. Yes. It's a good. Oh, yeah
Yeah, all that stuff the with you being crab people and the David Busters was in Philly. Oh
That was that waitress that was yes
That's good. We're low you don't want to keep those coming
Yeah, it might be a little cheaper if he's won with a bottle of wine instead of chugging the individual glass
Yeah, maybe leave the judgment back in the kitchen. There's a little bit of a look of judgment on your face
Just go grab them and okay. No problem. All right. Thank you. Great. Oh, she's terrific
I like her. Yeah, but she must have been
Yeah, I think she was she must have been for her. She might have been from Jersey. Hmm. Yeah
She was great. She nailed it. Yeah, she did um I
Like I do like that. We stained our our mouths. Yeah. Yeah purple
That was that may have been the first time we did that and that comes back quite a bit
Oh, right. Leah loved that that killed with the ten-year-olds
He was like, are you wearing lipstick and I said no, it's it's from the red wine and he was like the red wine makes your lips
Red, I'm like, well if you drink enough of it and he's like you guys drink so much. That's so funny. I'm like, well
It's funny in this context
But I do like that I do like that we we we sense some judgment
We I like opening the scene with us just chugging the line and then and then she's telling us that it's cheaper to just buy a
Bottle and we don't want to hear any sass from
You know, I bet that we had shot the
Intervention episode first and then we went down to Philly to do the Philly shoot and we're like it was so funny to have those red
I think you're right. Yeah, I think you're right. I think we and we realized we're like well
We've already established that when we're drinking lots of red wine. We have that and it's funny. So let's let's go for it
Yeah, yeah, we would have gone to Philly at the end. We always went at the end. Yeah
Yeah, we'd shoot everything in LA and then the last week. I'm not telling you guys
I'm telling the audience
The we would take a while since we got back to that
Of you being worried that Rob's gonna jump in and be like, I know this. You're telling me when we used to shoot in Philly
Remember that? You want to re-litigate that? I'll re-litigate that. Yeah, you wanna re-litigate? Once again, it has nothing to do
It's the way that you're posi-
Just the second day of the shoot. I didn't really want to read it. I'm listening. Go on, go on
It's just seething inward
Man, oh nerd
Uncle Jack back in this episode for the first time since season one, right? What made you guys decide to bring Uncle Jack back?
He's just so damn funny
Why did it take so long? Why did it take so long? I was thinking that I was like, but is this the first time we've had him since season one?
Yeah, yeah, that's what you were just crazy. I don't know why maybe we just
Hadn't thought of where he would fit in an episode or whatever it is. Yeah. Yeah
Um, I thought maybe you guys might like to watch the blooper of him and Charlie
Doing something in this episode that he that he doesn't do what is it and then I thought maybe it's it's probably in the bloopers
It's probably the bloopers him him just pointing to Uncle Jack. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's the bloopers. That's the bloopers
Yeah, I was just waiting for that moment and then it didn't happen
You hand you powing around getting crazy and nuts and all sorts of things
Oh, come on
Limerie staying in it
What if we set up your room just like it was when you were a kid? Yeah, it's in a dividing line all improvised
I remember every
I'm a bunny. You're a bunny snuggle snuggle. She's killing it revive much out of that skin my teeth
No, we definitely would have used that if you had a straight face.
Oh, you boys.
Boys will not be boys.
Boys will be men.
Men will be men.
Men will be men and act like men now.
We can be men.
We can be men.
We can be men.
He's so good.
And then she's so good as well.
Yeah, just in it.
Total pros.
Now, this was hard to explain to Leo because I was laughing so hard
and he was like, well, so why is this funny?
And I was like, well, because the older man is inappropriate.
He's just being inappropriate.
And Leo's like, well, how?
Why is he inappropriate?
Like, should they not be?
Because they talk about wrestling.
He just wants to have a good time with his nephew.
Right.
And at some point he says something about wrestling
and how you guys are going to wrestle.
And you said, like, uncles don't wrestle with their nephews.
And Leo was like, why can't uncles wrestle with nephews?
And I was like, well, the next scene is starting.
So let's just do it.
It's just some uncles, Leo.
Some uncles shouldn't be allowed to wrestle.
I think episode is maybe passable or appropriate.
I'm like, well, okay, there's this scene.
Well, this is why I don't watch the show with my kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
This is pretty cool.
This is a close one.
It had some big laugh out moments.
But him swinging on that thing, the visual gag of that, of the noose.
Yeah.
That's great.
Also falls in the category of Danny just being up for anything.
Anything.
Yeah.
I mean, how old was he there?
He was, I don't know.
I mean, 67?
Yeah, late 60s probably.
Late 68?
Yeah.
I mean, it's not like we actually hung him.
We did hoist him in the air.
We hoisted him.
It's uncomfortable.
It's very uncomfortable.
That harness goes up around.
It goes up around your crotch.
Yeah.
And then, but I remember we had to like work with it because it didn't seem like, you
know, it suspends you by your waist.
And then you kind of start to tilt forward and then it doesn't look like the pressure
is on your neck.
Yeah.
So Danny had to kind of like hoist his weight forward so that his head could go back so
that it looked like he was hanging and then lower his chin.
But then it was a funny position to be in when he looked up and said, don't try to stop.
Yeah.
And then those kicks he does at the end.
Like he's trying.
He's trying.
He's trying.
He's like.
That was another result line.
I remember tight.
I really like Charlie's sort of like manic energy in this episode.
And there's one specific shot where you guys are like, we're going to give you a chance.
You tell D and Charlie, we're going to give you a chance to justify your jobs.
And you do this, like, I'm so excited to like prove to you like that, that energy.
And then Rob's just enjoying it.
Like it felt like you were like out of character just watching him being like, I like this
guy.
He's up for it.
Yeah, we were going to get a show.
The way that it ends is so funny too.
You guys think you're going to go to David Buster's and I just go, you know, and D's
going, what?
And then we just like hard cut out.
I don't remember that being the ending.
I, I rewound it because I was like, is that coming?
Sure.
We had.
There was a whole more.
And it just felt flat.
And we're like, just go out there.
I just don't remember.
I don't remember that episode ending that way.
I don't remember us.
Me neither.
I was watching that being like, okay, wait, how's it going to end?
I don't know.
I can't remember.
I thought I had accidentally hit the fast forward button or something.
Like, yeah, it was a little too abrupt for me.
I don't know.
I thought it was joyfully abrupt where I was like, oh, oh, great.
That's great.
Like sometimes it's not fun when we tuck it in too much.
And then it's like, it feels too neat, you know.
Tuck it in too much.
I like that.
Yeah.
Yeah, I like that.
Yeah.
It's like, you just go to bed.
Just slam the door in the episode.
Yeah.
Yeah, yell at it to go to bed and slam the door on it.
Go to bed.
Danny with the vacuum cleaner.
And we had written it one way and he kept saying it because it doesn't have any muffler.
Right.
And we probably think we'd written like, you know, cover your ears.
This sucker ain't got no muffler.
And he wouldn't say he ain't got no.
He used to refuse to say that.
He would write it in the script all the time.
It wasn't intentional.
It wasn't like, I don't think Frank talks like this.
It's just that he would, you know, we're moving fast and you're learning things on the fly
and his mind would just translate it to better English.
Joe was a good choice too to really ramp up the sound of that thing and make it insanely
loud and then put subtitles on them unless they were like screaming.
Yeah.
Especially Caitlyn screaming, you jerk.
You jerk.
Yeah, that's great.
I was going to ask if you guys have ever been fired from a job.
I don't know if we've talked about that.
Have you ever been fired from a job?
I feel like we did talk.
Do we not talk about that?
What?
Having been fired from someone?
Having been fired.
I've been edited out of various movies and television shows over here.
That's a form of fire.
Have we talked about that?
Yes.
That we've talked about.
Yes.
Yes.
We talked about the Warner Brothers one, I think.
The Devil's Gone.
Yes.
I'm glad.
It's never really taken the wind out of a lot of people's sails, but instead it just
made your wind blow harder.
Just fueled my fire.
Just fueled your fire.
It just made the chip on the shoulder just a little bit larger.
That's right.
Yeah.
I remember when we were younger, when we were young men in our 20s and you would say,
you used to tell me that you had this little demon that would wake you up in the mornings.
That was basically, like, the thing that would.
Get up.
Well, no.
Get up.
The thing that would get him out of bed was this little demon voice in your head that
was basically telling you that you were lazy, that you were a piece of shit, that you weren't
doing enough, that you were, yeah.
Good morning.
You're making a little piece of shit.
Get up and write five screen plays.
First make a drink, a cup of coffee, smoke 17 cigarettes, and then write it on a script.
God damn you.
Go hook up with anyone who will hook up with you.
Anyone who will pay attention to you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I remember that guy.
Yeah.
That's still there.
Yeah.
That's still there.
God hold it.
A version of that's still there.
But I never found it necessarily destructive.
I found it kind of, but it can very easily go in there.
You described it in comic terms.
In comic terms.
I love you, you lazy son of a bitch.
Now get up.
Yeah.
It was more like that.
Okay.
It was more like it was an extension of myself, not some exterior being that was saying that
I was unworthy or something.
It's Meredith Burgess from Rocky.
It's more Meredith Burgess.
Lightning and craps under the day.
Yeah.
His name was Meredith.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
That's not a man named Meredith.
His name was Burgess.
Burgess.
I mean equally.
Equally strange.
That's Burgess Meredith.
You know what John Wayne's name was?
No, I don't.
What is real name?
Wayne John.
What is real name?
I don't know what.
What is real name?
Oh, Marion Johnson.
Marion?
No.
I don't remember what his last.
I don't think it might be.
Marion Wayne?
It knows.
Marion Robert Morrison.
Marion Wayne.
Morris.
Marion Morrison.
Which by the way is an awesome name too.
Marion Morrison.
Marion Morrison.
But not as awesome as John Wayne.
Yeah.
I'm surprised he wouldn't even go with just the Robert Morrison.
But I guess if John Wayne's on the table, he's going to take that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I feel like I'm a John Wayne type.
I don't know.
That's not good.
That's how he did it.
Yeah.
It was back in the day when the studios were like.
He was once credited as Duke Morrison.
Because everybody called him Duke apparently.
That was the Duke or Duke.
Right.
It was like some studio guys back in the day.
He was in here.
We're going to call you this.
You know.
You're going to do 10 pictures for us.
But I like the idea that.
Pay a thousand dollars.
That Marion Morrison sounded too ethnic.
That was the thing.
They wanted to make everything seem as like waspy as possible.
Like John Wayne just feels like an American.
You know.
They were like no Jews, no Irish, no Italians.
Like let's just keep it like right down the middle.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can be those things but your name can't indicate as much.
Yes.
Right.
Fox studio chief Winfield Sheehan rejected his name as it sounded to Italian.
And then a director Raoul Walsh who cast John Wayne and stuff.
Suggested John Wayne because it sounded more.
Less Italian I guess.
Kind of makes John Wayne seem like a little bit of a pussy.
Right.
He backed down from that.
He didn't stand up for his own name, his own heritage.
He could have said God damn it.
I'm Marion Morrison and that's all there is to it.
You know.
And instead he was like I'll do whatever you say.
Boss.
Fucking John.
That's not the John Wayne I know.
And remember.
Yeah.
He was an actor.
I used to do Shakespeare.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Do I sing and dance in this picture?
How did John Wayne become an actor?
Did he start?
Did he start?
Was he doing?
He went to USC which is odd.
Did he play football?
Yeah.
He was an athlete.
That sounds right.
He was huge.
He was like 6'5 or something.
6'4 or 6'5.
Right.
And he was an athlete.
And then.
He was injured and lost his athletic scholarship and had to leave the university.
I thought you were going to say he lost his knee or something.
Oh no.
By the way back in the day when you got a scholarship to play a sport and then if you got injured
they were like okay get the fuck out.
Can you imagine that?
Can you imagine that just because you tore your ACL you're halfway through your education
and they're like yeah you know that thing we brought you in for you can't do it anymore
so you got to go.
Yeah.
That's incredible.
Yeah.
They got rid of that.
Sorry Marion.
You're out of here.
He broke his collar bone which as we all know is a really cool injury.
That's pretty fucking sweet dude.
Yeah.
Did he do it?
Did he do it shredding?
Was he shredding?
Was he shredding?
In a body surfing accident.
What?
Was he shredding?
Was he shredding water?
Wow.
That's pretty cool.
Wait.
Wait.
John.
Wait.
Sorry.
Who broke his collar?
I'm getting it.
John Wayne.
Sorry.
Marion Morrison.
Yes.
When he was attending USC had a broken collar bone which curtailed his athletic career.
He later noted that he was too terrified of Jones who was his coach at the time of Jones's
reaction to reveal the actual cause of his injury at body surfing accident.
Why was that kid?
It's like a pansy sport.
No.
I mean I think it was probably like you shouldn't be doing dangerous things instead of playing
football.
You can't be shredding NAR when we need you out here.
This guy here.
I hear you.
Body shredding bones.
Not really that fucking dangerous.
You can't take on an ocean wave.
How are you going to take on the UCLA football thing?
That's right.
The crimson tide.
How do you break your collar bone?
Do you think he's body surfing with his arms behind him?
I'll tell you man.
If you're out of like Zoome Beach, you're out of like Zoome Beach and those things are
breaking right into the shore.
It's crazy.
It's shore break.
It's shore break.
It's shore break.
It's shore break.
It's a heavy pitch bra.
Bra.
Yeah, bra.
Bra, that's funny.
That's how Marion Morrison used to talk.
Yeah.
It's like, dude.
Dude.
Dude.
I was fucking shredding the fucking Malibu.
I was fucking shredding CNAR.
Ocean NAR.
Okay.
Okay.
I was totally shredding Ocean NAR and I was like, let me do one where my hands aren't
here but they're like here, dude.
I thought I was out of place.
I was like, dude, there's a crazy fucking shore break, Marion.
I shouldn't do it, bro.
Marion, you should not be in this wave, bro.
Marion, this is not your wave, bro.
When Marion was like, fuck that, dude, ain't no pus and then he fucking shredded it and
sure enough, snapped his car, bro.
Oh, damn.
What am I going to do now?
I can't even be the actor.
I sound too Italian-o.
Everybody's going to think I'm Italian, dude.
Fuck.
I can't believe.
Goodbye, can't be in the movies.
John's will never thrive in movie pictures.
Guys, today's a very special day.
It's President's Day, which serves as a humbling patriotic reminder of one thing in particular,
how quickly our president's age.
Wow, yeah.
Look at Thomas Jefferson.
He was only 53 when he was elected, but you look at any portrait, his hair is so gray,
so white.
Well, Thomas Jefferson wore a wig.
It was like one of those people wore wigs.
He chose gray.
He was choosing gray and white.
Why would anyone do that?
No clue.
But on this President's Day, we are supported by Athletic Greens, which makes no claims
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I use AG1 every single day, and I feel significantly less old than a U.S. president.
Yeah, and all I'm saying is, if I had to wear a wig, I would go with Tommy Lee and
Motley Crue, not Thomas Jefferson.
I want to go with an old man white wig.
What about Tommy Lee Jones?
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up the ultimate daily nutritional insurance.
Guys, also on topic here, what's going on with shooting all the shit out of the sky?
Right?
We're just blasting shit out of the sky, left to right.
Yeah.
I think, you know, we just don't want to be seen as the kind of people that will allow
trash to just float around in the sky.
You know?
We can't be seen.
Any of them aliens or all five of them.
It's a little, listen, I was listening to a whole thing on the news this morning about
it and they were talking about like, well, it was just, it's very, very likely that it
was just, it's just, you know, apparently there's a lot of debris just floating around
in the sky and I'm like, uh, there's gravity, so no.
Unless it's a fucking plastic bag.
Uh-huh.
What are we talking about?
We could be shooting plastic bags out of the sky.
Like fucking fully formed octagons that are flying around in the sky.
Just, yeah, it's just fucking trash.
Like, what are you talking about?
Yeah.
No things fall from the sky.
They don't float around in the sky.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know enough about this to dispute it.
I don't know enough about the skies to dispute it.
I think it's safe to say that, uh, as long as gravity still exists, things are gonna
fall.
Unless they're not, but because if something's, if something's waving around in the sky and
it looks like a fucking jellyfish, it's probably not a spy balloon.
You know what I mean?
It's just a plastic bag.
You're not gonna shoot a plastic bag down with a missile.
You're just not.
If you're a good shot, you are.
If anything's over my skies, I shoot it down, god damn it.
It's pretty good.
Um, if you did, if you were the one who saw an alien spacecraft like about to land and
you had the ability to either shoot it out of the sky or let it land, what would you
pick?
Well, I definitely, well, definitely let it land.
You gotta let it land.
You're responsible for the complete destruction of humanity as we know it, because it was
the evolution.
If it's figured out how to fly here, it's gonna be, yeah, there's more where it came
from.
Yeah.
It's like, yeah.
But we figured out how to fly there.
And we're not that smart.
What if he's just here on vacation?
What if he's just here to fucking body surf?
What if he just wants to body surf NAR, dude?
Ocean NAR.
Oh man.
If I had a collarbone, I would have just broken it.
Good thing I'm mostly liquid.
I have a collarbone.
I don't know.
Just jelly people, jelly people, you know, from the skies that want to shred ocean NAR
on Earth.
That may be all they are, right?
It's just jelly people from another planet that want to shred NAR on our planet and we
keep shooting them down.
They're like, they're just like, yeah, fuck man.
Could be what it is.
We should write that movie.
We don't want more trash in the ocean.
Jelly people.
Jelly people.
Jelly people.
I go see that for sure.
You know, interesting times for living, you know, spy balloons.
So you don't want to postulate what may be up there.
You guys don't want to.
I have no idea.
It's really interesting.
They're not letting us know.
If I'm being honest, I have checked out of the news cycle for the last few days.
Is that right?
So the circus of the Super Bowl in combo with me just spending three solid days with my
son and just having a good time.
And I was like, oh, fuck it.
I'm not going to.
I don't care.
I don't care about any of that bullshit.
And now I'm hearing people talk about it.
And yeah, I don't know.
It's probably space trash.
Maybe it's aliens.
I'll find out in a few days.
I'm getting too lazy to read the full articles, you know, I'm like seeing the headline and
then I'm skimming for like any pertinent information like, come on, what do we do?
It's by blue alien, give me alien, alien, alien, no alien.
All right, fuck it.
Yeah.
Right.
You're skimming the article looking for the word alien.
Yeah.
You don't see it.
And then he's talking about debris and I want something entertaining to happen.
You know.
Yeah.
I saw my cat fight off a hawk.
All right.
I will say that.
Okay.
I want to hear about that.
Well, okay.
So my cat is the baddest motherfucker.
The cats are insane.
Well, by the way, by the way, you describe your cat that way, but all outdoor cats are
this way.
Just so we're clear.
Yeah.
Jack Bauer style.
Yeah.
We're talking about.
That is a cat that grew up on the street.
Yeah.
Street cats, outdoor cats.
Street cats.
I've told the story before on the podcast.
We then made him an indoor cat for about two weeks and he just would sit by the window
and just beg to go out and let me kill this cat.
We are now denying him the life that he wants to live.
That's right.
Let's keep him out during the day.
Let him do whatever he wants and then at night we'll bring him in because just covered
in fucking blood every night when you bring him in.
God damn.
He is covered in blood three out of the seven days.
Well, he's white.
He's white.
He's like a white fur cat.
He's a beautiful white.
He's like he's the most graceful creature that's ever been created.
A white street cat.
What a find.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He had when he came in, he had a giant big black spot on him and we thought, okay, it's
a bit a white cat with a giant spot on him.
And then over the course of a week and a half, he just it was an oil slick.
It was an oil stain.
It was an oil stain and he just licked it off him and he's a fuzzy motherfucker.
He's so cuddly and he'll just come up.
He's like a dog and so far so come up with your life.
So he's drinking oil, fighting dogs.
He's drinking oil.
And during the day he'll sit on your lap and he'll just like lick.
He's just the sweetest animal and then he's at night if he can be a savage.
So one of my kids, we have outside of my bedroom, we have like a little patio outside and then
we're up on the second floor and then the cat, my kids left the door a little open and
you know, those cats are like liquids.
They're just like a sheet of paper.
They can literally.
Yes.
So they just left the door, just a tiny bit open and the cat found his way out and I watched
this whole thing happen and I was like, his name's Moose, I'm like Moose, come on.
So I chased Moose out and now he's on the roof and then he goes up to the top of the
roof where there's a peak and it's pretty high up and so he's up on the peak and I'm
like, I'm not going to chase you, go do whatever you're going to do.
So I go back inside and then I feel bad, I'm like, I got to get the cat inside.
So because I just got to get him inside, I'm afraid something's going to happen.
So I get a can of cat food, which he'll always come back for and he just hears the sound
and he comes running.
So I come back out and as I come back out, I call him and I took a fork and I like hit
the can, well, what happened was when I hit the can, I think I made a sound which blew
up a hawk's spot.
I think the hawk was like, like looking at his prey and Moose is still on the peak of
the house.
Wait, he was looking at Moose?
Apparently.
This happened so fast.
So I hit it like clank, clank and all of a sudden a hawk, well, this hawk tried to eat
this cat.
The hawk comes out of the tree, which is right in front.
I'm watching the high, I got a front row seat.
Wow.
So I hit it out of the tree, which is right near the peak of my house.
The cat is on the edge of the peak, like a gargoyle looking down and the hawk comes
right at him and I saw Moose go, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, like 17 jabs in a half a
second.
Like fucking Mayweather.
And the hawk's like, fuck this.
And then he goes up and he's coming back down for another dive bomb.
And I'm expecting, I'm like, Moose, expecting him to come running back in and Moose just
stays there.
And I'm like, holy shit, he's going to do it again.
So the cat, so the hawk comes down again and Moose takes one more swipe and that hawk
wanted none of it and the hawk takes off and then Moose just comes like, like running down
to me.
And then I like open the door and he stopped right outside the door and sat right back down
outside.
And I was like, this cat, he wants more.
He wants to fuck this.
Bring it up.
Yeah.
Bring it.
So he got the whole can of cat food there.
I was like.
Nice work, Moose.
Nice work, Moose.
It was a battle.
It was a battle.
It was insane.
I named it Marion.
Yeah.
Marion.
The cat is cool.
I mean, too.
Marion the cat.
Yeah.
Marion the cat.
So anyway.
Cat versus hawk versus hawk.
Dude, you should have filmed it.
It happens.
Split.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's so fast.
You want to experience it.
You've seen those reaction, the reaction videos of snakes and cats.
Yes.
Where they can.
There was, I saw a video recently.
It's the reaction speed.
It's like this close.
Yes.
To the cat.
Yes.
Like right in the cat's just like.
Yep.
Wait.
Wait a second.
That.
That snake makes a move.
It's like.
Yeah.
It's got the, it's something about the reaction speeds of cat, of cats are, it's 0.23 milliseconds
faster.
We've all seen a snake.
Yes.
Like do that.
And it's faster than that.
Cat like reflexes.
Cat like reflexes.
Yes.
Wow.
Hawks.
Hawks.
Also very fast.
Yeah.
And they have those giant talons.
And this, this thing came down.
It's a peregrine Falcon.
Fastest animal in the world.
Fastest animal in the world.
Fastest animal in the world.
Falcon's the dude.
No, he's right.
No, it's a peregrine Falcon is the fastest animal on earth.
Yeah.
Really?
Yes.
Because it can dive at over 300 miles per hour.
Fastest help boy.
Yeah.
It literally turns itself into a fucking missile and then just like launches itself.
What's the hawk?
What's the hawk's move there too?
The prey that big.
Grab it.
I think they grab it.
They take it.
Fly it.
Take it.
Drop it.
Yeah.
Just fucking drop it.
Guess what?
If he did that.
I'm tearing it bitch.
I broke all my fucking legs.
I'll still take you out.
There's some like surprise wings that the fucking no idea.
It's like pop.
Like a griffin.
Check this fucking out.
Now I'm coming after you.
Like a griffin.
Like a fucking fly.
Surprise bitch.
I'm a griffin.
I'm a griffin.