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th
of Oh Shut that door, will you check check check check check
Duh la la la la la la
Get music in here yeah
Cool Getting music in here. Yeah, there's music Cool. Oh
You do okay
Say something to your microphone test one one two. Hello. That's good
Good great
Check check check check, okay
Okay
So the air going no, I can always tell
Good stuff in here. You know yeah, it is no. I always have it on
Well you're right. There is none. Thanks for reminding me.
All right.
No, I mean that.
You mean that genuinely?
Yeah.
You have to get the fog warming up?
Yeah.
Can't live without that.
Say it sarcastically, but. you know goddamn well that people need fun.
Do you want my problems real quick?
Yeah, yeah, what are your problems?
Religion in schools and fake food freakouts.
Okey-dokey.
I'm going to browse over with you. Mine are Mine are
Guys getting in fights over women. Mm-hmm
Mm-hmm and
Either time vampires or accidental all caps replying in all caps
I'm a big fan of capitals
on purpose sure lying in all caps. Ah. I'm a big fan of capitals.
On purpose, sure.
Check, check, check, check. I think a lot of people shy away from it.
They think it's rude.
Well.
Ah, right.
Why is the dog barking?
Funko.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do I got something to say that we did that one definitely do that okay
No way we didn't do that one did we not that sounds memorable for some reason does just play it real quick
When your showers full of mold and- Nope, that's new. It's brand new.
Now I know.
Well you gotta stop- you gotta figure out royalty free pirate shanties so we stop getting-
Are we getting hit all the time?
Yes.
I thought I had one.
Whatever music you played got claimed again.
What the fuck?
Why?
I don't- well cause you pick them at random two seconds into the bit I picked this one all right well that one might be
okay let me hear it which one is it
god damn it do you need the pirate music is it that important you know that I do
Do you need the pirate music? Is it that important? I think you know that I do need the pirate music.
Uhhhhhh
Well, I'm sure you can figure something out.
Oh man
I don't know. I don't remember what it is.
You don't remember which one it was?
That one might be fine the one you played. I don't remember.
Corsairs Studio Polo Man
No, I think that one was the one that got claimed.
That was the bad one. I got a royalty-free one.
I can check. Corsairs? That's the name of it? I think that one was the one that got claimed. I got a royalty-free one. I can check.
Corsairs, that's the name of it. I think if I check the email it'll tell us
exactly which one. They're getting crazy with the claiming. Studio... it's this.
Yeah, I think that's the one we got trouble with.
Shit. Is it called Corsairs? I'm gonna look it up.
I'm gonna...I'll get rid of that one.
YouTube. Video cannot be monetized.
Corsairs by Studio Columna.
Columna?
Who's that one you said to get?
Which site?
You can go to Incompetech's site, but I don't know if
I'll have pirate music.
Royalty free pirate music.
Set sail! Set sail. Royalty free. No copyright.
Here we go. Oh man, that's great. We did one of these before. There we go. Man, that's yeah
not as good
just keep that whatever they're all terrible
how about this one?
oh ho ho ho ho ho
you like that one?
yes that's a good one
that's some good pirating music
whatever feels right
here ready for a little bit of a little taste of it
wait are we live?
Yes, we are yeah, but you haven't did you swap over?
Yes, I swapped over
It all right, I don't think that's that good we're struck already are we live yes, what the fuck
Yes, I there all right are you yes look I'm good all this energy very great very good
We had our bonus episode
The biggest problem in the apocalypse that's up now you look tired well what times you wake up yesterday 3 a.m
Look at me 3 a.m.. Yeah. Have you thought about just straightening up? Flying right?
I don't know how to do it. Fixing your
lifestyle? Have you thought about that?
Yeah, yeah.
I've thought about it. You talked
to Boogie?
Don't compare me
to Boogie. Why does everybody have to compare me to Boogie? I saw somebody
today and they're like, Vito's just like Boogie
like he's on the to Boogie? I saw somebody today and they're like, Vito's just like Boogie, like he's on the edge, Boogie.
Yeah.
I think I'm a lot more self-aware than Boogie.
I'm not a stupid, I'm not gonna say stupid, but.
You're not 50 though.
I'm not gonna invest everything in fucking shit coins
and then cry when it doesn't work out for me, you know?
Like that's.
I wonder, did you know what he had?
What Boogie had in his shit coins?
All I know is the last time I talked to him on the phone
and he was excited about crypto,
he was talking about, I just bought a bunch of sproinkdongles.
Sproinkdongle, that's a good coin.
I'm pretty sure my Ganadar Qs are going through the roof.
And I was like, none of these sound like they're good investments, but you do you.
No, no, the opposite.
Do everything the opposite.
Boogie, when he wants to eat, jump off a bridge.
If he wants to buy something, sell it.
If he wants to post naked pictures of his girlfriend online, don't put naked pictures of himself offline.
There's a lot going on. There's a lot going on.
And then I tried to buy his video games. It turns out this motherfucker doesn't even have video games.
I'm like, what am I doing?
Should we just start the show? Yeah, we gotta get into these
These hot topics this hot oh got comments
I may be any comments people didn't like what a very normal
Straightforward show on the last episode we got to get into the piggery that's going on
You know what that is as I've said
You do a good you do a good current as well you do a very good current
Somebody can make you a Miss Piggy cut out in the Discord.
I'm sure they can make one for you.
Make sure it's straight.
Like straight on.
Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, cut a mouth out of the picture please.
Somebody was making fun of my picture online.
They put a picture of me next to a big fat lady Kermit!
What do you have to say for yourself?
You gotta save this hot gas.
Cause we gotta get into it.
There's a lot there.
Is there?
Is there?
Oh, there's a lot there.
That's an understatement.
Moo!
Moo!
Oh, ooga!
I'll put a cattle catcher on this podcast!
Cause we're a train powering down the mountain at fat broads
I wish you'd kept the fat horn. That's the that's the one thing
You got it oh no the boogie one the lower one the lower one. I don't have it
See you got a prep for this show you could have had a miss piggy
Have it see you got a prep for this show you could have had a miss piggy cut out
I'm just kidding
That's great For those of you are we talking about this for those of you?
No, it's my problem. It's your problem so we're gonna hold on on it. Well don't spoil it motherfucker
Hmm Kermit?
Damn it!
One of your friends
One of your internet friends put a picture of me next to a big fat lady Kermit!
Here, you want me to do something real quick?
No!
You have- I'd like you to do something Kermit!
Okay, well hold on Mr. E.
For once in your life!
Oh, the illusion is ruined.
What are you doing?
Okay, well just-
You're messing up my picture!
Oh, no no no no no.
It'll be fine. Let me try it at least
This is this is retarded
Now you messed up my regular camera. No cuz I made a duplicate of it. Oh
Okay Kermit
I've got a phone to pick with you mister
I've got a bone to pick with you, mister. I was just enjoying a nice...
That works pretty good, dude.
I was enjoying a nice buffet.
My friends and I were lounging around Vegas,
and I do mean around Vegas.
And one of your no good friends
posted a picture of one of my numerous selfies
Oh no
Next to a big fat lady, Kermie! Kermie!
Oh, that's horrible
Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?
Well
I want you to flag them right away, Kermit!
No, no, we shouldn't flag anybody over this
Oh!
See, that worked pretty good
Well, Miss Piggy
They did a checkered flag on me at the buffet
I can't believe that you went to Vegas. I said last lap, Piggy!
Yeah, tried to have a good time and people would make fun of your weight
How horrible is that?
It is horrible. It is horrible. We're here to make fun of celebrities. Yeah, that's what's important. Not now women.
Alright, get rid of that. I can't do that voice. Hold on here. There you go. That was miss piggy visiting us
Let's do a show. No you have not
Gonna be a great show
Honestly, I don't know how I'm gonna talk about anything else, but
The Plum and the Universe! Welcome to the biggest problem in the universe!
The only show that ranks every problem in the universe from doing time for a crime you didn't commit to not being able to kill babies for the fun of it.
That's terrible, huh?
From weird takes on abortion to boomers mishandling their fortunes.
That's pretty good.
Grabs Gravedigger Guy and from undetected battery loss to Vito's hatred of bearers of the cross.
Should just be the cross.
Bearers of the current- Vito's hatred of the cross?
Did Chad GPT write these, fellas?
It's not necessarily a Christian problem.
I know the one that killed babies was not written by Chad GPT.
I mean, how stick master's been joining me always is Vito Giswoldi.
Baby killer in chief. Baby killer in chief.
He's coming in there. I think people like that I tell it like it is.
It ain't pedophilia if they're negative years old, that's what they say.
There you go. Right? What can you do? Look,
if it's not a, if it's not a life I can jack off to it, right? I get a lot of people and they're all upset and they're like,
oh my god Vito, how could you possibly say that? It's not a life, I can jack off to it, right? I get a lot of people and they're all upset and they're like, Oh my God, Vito, how could you possibly say that?
And it's like, well, I mean, isn't it refreshing?
Aren't you happy that someone's just saying it?
It's murder, whatever.
You're going to start lecturing us again now?
Yes.
Yeah.
It is what it is.
It's not a lecture.
It was a lecture, I think.
45 minutes left.
Society's got a lot of problems. A lot of problems. You're looking right over there. That's most think 45 society's got a lot of problems
Looking right right over there. That's my lot of big problems
There he's sitting across from really I'm the problem. Oh, yeah
Okay, you want to do
Not realizing something wasn't charging me
You won by like two votes. I'm gonna
look it up. Yep, always a problem with the votes.
Boomers saying money isn't everything. Go ahead and play around on your phone.
I'll just host the show. Yeah, do it. Wrongful convictions number three. It was 443 to 440. You won by
three votes. Win is a win is a win. And the only reason you won is because I said hey
Everybody go vote on the problems. Everyone said I'm voting against you specifically
Yeah, because you don't love babies enough. You got to sprinkle some jokes in with your
Lectures with your lecturing Christians. I'm done with the joke show. We're gonna get real and raw. What did you say afterwards? I think it was interesting though. No. I think it was interesting. That's not what people want.
I don't think it was a bad episode. That's Hannah Gadsby. I don't think it was a bad episode. Oh wow that was so thought provoking how that one guy wants to kill babies and loves pigs.
I love all animals. And rocks too. No not rocks. That's their rocks. Well why not? Like amoebas and shit, too? I mean, you know, there's a certain level of which
Intelligence becomes too abstract to quantify listening to you explain your positions on things like an MC Escher
picture that like
Someone's dad tried to redraw when they got home, but I'm not wrong
I mean you're so far from wrong. It would be it would be impossible to say it's just we have different opinions
That's it your ideas are on a planet where they've heard of wrong
Yeah, but they have faith that wrong exists, but no one has ever seen proof of it
There's a lot of abstractions you gotta consider in the world. Oh, yeah
Like what's it when you're not in the world. Then there's a lot.
It's mostly abstractions.
It's all just a lot of fun
and that's what this show is all about.
Baby lovers, dead last.
Dead last.
How you feel about that?
You know what?
Sometimes the most correct opinions
are the most controversial.
I think that that powers most of your behavior.
What?
That the most opinions people hate the most
are the most correct.
Well, if we follow the logic that most people
are stupid, right?
Yeah.
So, a lot of the times, I mean, there's like some basic
truths that we can all get behind, but a lot of the times-
How does we all the sudden?
We as a society, Dick.
Yeah.
Some basic truths that we can all as a society get behind.
But when it comes to the hard questions and the philosophical questions,
the dummies go like, well, you know, I just leave it up to God or some other stupid answer.
And you go, okay, well, really logically follow it through.
What?
You arrive at a more, you know, an answer which might be unpopular
But it's smarter than everyone. Then everyone yes. You know it also might be what you're dumber than everyone
And they're like hey idiot stop talking you're fucking things up for all of us. We hate what you're saying
Well, no, I am so dumb. I do understand that it's fucking things up for people like that
I understand but the logic is sound. What's the logic?
That it's like you love pigs, but you eat
We kill all the time. We kill people we let people die
We leave people to die and like the idea that oh my god, but not a baby
That would be the worst. That is the worst. Literally the worst. No, the worst would be if it was like two years old.
That's like the moment at which it's the worst.
Totally devoid of comedy.
Just a lecture.
Just a...
It's not a lecture.
Just a misanthropic, insane lecture that has no connecting points.
There's no lecture.
It's not a lecture.
I'm just saying at a certain point, it's like, okay, it would definitely be worse.
Like if you have a kid and the kid dies a week later, like that sucks, but you know,
at least you didn't get too attached to it.
Where's the joke there?
It's just things you think are like poignant.
I'm saying though.
Yes, that's the problem.
If more time, well, you,
cause you're saying crazy things and I'm saying, you know.
Smart things.
He takes time to develop a bond.
It's worse to lose like a small child than a baby, I would think.
And you have experienced this through your cat, or you spilled a milkshake or something, so you understand loss at this level.
Yeah, I spilled a milkshake.
You spilled a milkshake.
What, I gotta have a dead kid to have an opinion on dead kids?
You spilled ice cream on your way home from the store and that was gonna be a milkshake, so you know exactly what it...
It helps helps yeah.
Okay Anderson Haber, how Vito isn't losing weight with all these mental
gymnastics is beyond me that's true. 8'7 6", Eric wore a tank top and a flat
bill cap at his friend's wedding but wore Amish plantation suit on her to a
business award. Yeah what did look like that? Somebody said that the flower he was
wearing I was like is that a Texas thing?
And he's like, I live in Texas, that's not a Texas thing.
We have no idea why you put on a corsage.
Ooh, man, he's trying to bring back his gay roots.
I don't know what he's doing.
Have you ever seen gay roots, the triple X parody?
Gay roots?
Yeah, like roots, but all black, all gay.
But Eric Jalai, that picture.
That could be fun.
Fake VHS cover.
That's what people want, not abortion lectures.
Yeah.
Black gay roots.
Okay, well let's make that then.
We got a lot of great ideas.
Prespa, now I understand why the cat left.
Having to relieve itself in a steamed fungus-filled bathroom
while a bathing veto stares at you
would send any man or cat insane.
I have two litter boxes. One is in the bathroom. If they don't like it, they can use the other one.
Yeah, one for me, one for the kids.
Best page in the universe. This show turned me pro-life.
I know the joke. They're joking. It's a joke.
I don't think so. I've never been faced with that level of...
...calisness and disregard for human life.
It's not, well, it's not human life yet. See?
That's what I mean!
It's like barely anything.
What you're saying is horrifying to most people!
Well, welcome to, like, I mean, what do you, like, people believe this.
Welcome to what?
Team Guy?
Welcome to being a liberal, man, like, we don't care.
It doesn't matter.
You guys are not all like this.
I think we, I think they are.
The women aren't. Uh, shh. No, the women definitely are. You guys are not all like this. I think we I think they are the women aren't
Definitely are there they love abortions
You have gotten some bad information from some liberal women they like I mean they like you know the idea that they can get them
Whenever they want them right. I don't think they like that idea. Yeah
Girl get an abortion? No. Sheila-
What are you-
What the fuck kind of question is that?
Sheila Jorvito, your shower looks like you're squatting in your own home.
Must be the best joke of the episode.
Slam Jam, thanks for bringing in Baby Lover's Vito.
I love it when I have to take the show off of speakers and listen on headphones.
Well...
Do you think you fucked up at all with that?
Or are you just lecturing people-
What is the show? What am I supposed to do?
It's just gonna be a bland lecture. Do you want me to bring in like, ooh, the moralizing lecture?
The biggest problem in the universe is like when you get glue on your hands, it's all sticky. Yeah, that's funny. That's funny.
That's funny. I don't know man. It's just like something's in the news and it's interesting.
I wouldn't be talking about it if you guys would stop fucking around with the fucking abortion stuff. They're horrified. Why?
Well just don't be horrified. But it's sick what you're saying is demented. It's been going on for
what? When did Roe vs Wade pass? The 60s? So it's fine? Yeah. Yeah okay so you like it
because it's going on. It's been going on for a while and what sort of thing happened?
Death. Mass death. Genocide. Well. Slam. Sad potato. Veto feels more for the animals dying than a homeless person because there's some expectation the homeless person could be self-sufficient
Yeah, well the animal is more vulnerable and didn't choose to be in a novel environment
How do those things not apply to an unborn child?
Vita you know cuz not a life yet. It's just like a thing okay
And they experienced anything you name any of the stuff you eat do You name any of the stuff you eat?
Do I name any of the stuff I eat? What do you mean?
Do you give it a name? You see, you gotta know
the implication before you answer the question, right?
Okay. Classic liberal.
Yeah. No, I just didn't- Endy Meehan doesn't get-
I don't understand the question! Who names things that they eat?
I don't get any- I don't get the hate
over Vito's stance on life.
It's practically a copy of what several big
cancelled comedians
have been saying for years.
Is that true?
I don't know.
I saw Bill Maher was saying similar things.
You guys all got the same joke rolled out at the same time.
What's the joke?
I'm not joking.
You're not going to miss millions of people.
Hey, what's the deal with these abortions?
I mean, we got millions of Mexicans.
Look, it's 20 billion Chinese people
What's the deal?
If you think about it no if you don't think about it and just repeat shit the bill so we call animal
Populations all the time we don't feel bad about that right yeah some people do
Really it's just has to be done
Are you okay? Are you out there jacking off?
Oh yeah.
Those people we consider annoying.
People who torture small animals and get off on it.
Right.
Torture.
Kill.
Yeah.
There's something wrong with them.
After, yeah, well torture them.
If the baby came out and you tortured it, I would have a problem with that.
Grunt's rule, everyone please don't let Vito's horrible abortion problem distract you from the nightmare that is his bathroom situation.
My bathroom's fine.
It's Veggie, Vito being on the side of companies taking down mods, has to be one of his worst takes.
That on top of the abortion problem. It's not that I'm in favor of it, it's that it's going to happen by nature of copyright law,
so why even waste your time? Oh, I'm gonna put Batman and Pokemon. Okay. Well, then they're gonna file a DMCA and you're gonna lose all your shit
So just don't waste your time. God forbid anyone enjoy anything
You can enjoy just make your own stuff and it's like as much fun. Stop latching on to other shit. No it's not! Batman's cool
Everyone wants to be Batman. Nobody wants to be Rip-off man. You know what's cooler than Batman? Stats man. And that's fun and interesting and different and
We've been talking about Stats man. We've been having a ton of fun with it. You're like
That's bad. We got Batman at home mom. What happened to you to make you like this?
Well, honestly, the bootleg toys are always fun. I used to have these bootleg GI Joe's they're awesome
I would make up names for him. I had a little Indian guy named him Tracker Tom
I wish I still had Tracker Tom. Yeah
That was fun. That was creative. That wasn't I played Pokemon when I was eight and now I can't play anything else for the rest of time
That's autism
Eight days a week, I'd never support Eric July, but at this point he's absolutely
At eight eight eight days a week. I'd never support Eric July, but at this point. He's absolutely
Mogging veto low-caller not he's even more humorous than veto everyone can see it He's just pulling further and further ahead. I think it's far. I don't know I guess it'd be further can work
Yeah, his books are trash, but his people want them and he delivers
So this has just all become very pitiful all the people against him are just are just commenting and reacting You don't need this has just all become very pitiful. All the people against him are just
commenting and reacting. You don't need this many justs. Biting at every announcement while
he is at least doing something. No, that's... You cross the line into defender on that
one. Here's the problem with... Wait, he's not done creating to the best of his limited
abilities. As of now, Vito does not have a comic book. This is this guy's raising some interesting points
Okay, but like if you're just paying other people to make comic books for you. What are you doing exactly?
business
Okay, so business laughter so he could be selling like socks and nickels and whatever
I would like to see him do that then that would be the same amount level of accomplishment that he's accomplished now
But he's bringing us stuff to consume and mock and you're not.
Do you see
what he's saying? Okay, but like I do
that's the other, it's like so weird how people quantify
stuff. Where it's like
you know I'm doing, I make this
show every week. Zero comic books, one comic book.
I make YouTube videos
I got, uh,
and then I'm working on all this stuff with the comic and I'm planning
ahead for the future of the comic
Okay, Eric wouldn't say that well cuz him at the end of the day like again
He goes the only whatever even if the only value is having a product at market
I am going to have a product at market like it's happening
What about Eric he's got stuff coming out?
He's got a lot of like stupid t-shirts and
fucking posters and shit. He's coming out with it. He's got magazines. I've never. You're
talking about doing a magazine. He's doing it. You see, you have a shitty idea. He's
doing the shitty idea. It's a big difference. I think there, look, I can say there's a limited
amount of, you know, anybody who goes out and makes stuff,
I of course have to go, well, it's good that you're trying.
You know, I don't have to respect what you made,
but I can say, you know,
at least you're putting yourself out there.
Uh-huh.
But I don't know, like that's not the most impressive.
There's a lot of people making a lot of shit all at once.
Everybody's making something. There's one guy that's not.
Who? You. I am though guy that's not. Who?
You.
I am though.
That's what's weird.
It's like this weird thing in people's minds where like,
okay, so once the comic comes out, what happens then?
What changes in the paradigm?
Well, then it's, we get in a time machine
and go back to December of 2023
when it was supposed to come out.
It was not supposed to come out.
That's what happens.
Well, yeah, that's true.
But I don't know, man. It's like, it's gonna be out and then when it's out to come out. It was not supposed to come out. Well, yeah, that's true, but I
Don't know man. It's like it's gonna be out and then when it's out does everybody stop going Oh Vito can never make anything does that become well now Vito's got to make more of the thing at an equal pace as Eric
July who has millions upon millions of dollars. Yes. Okay, crank it out. I want to
Crank this shit out all day. I want to
This guy's got a point!
If you look at like...
I can't quantify the amount of work I'm doing, but I'm doing a lot of work, right?
I don't know.
I gotta see it in front of me.
I can't give you a behind the scenes of exactly who's working on what, cause it would be a...
You could.
Not without getting permission from people, who I don't want to ask for permission.
You could just do it.
You could say this guy's doing this, we have this many pages done, here's the update, this
is how many pages left.
Yeah.
That could be every week.
Yeah, well, I think then you get people, I don't think you want to be that transparent.
Eric Jilai was that transparent and it fucked him.
Okay, alright, well, good try, eight days a week. You want to be that transparent Eric July was that transparent and it fucked him. Uh-huh. Okay. All right. Well, uh
Good try eight days a week crimson shin
Dick should let veto use his kitchen only one time if he does an apartment tour
And then he says a bunch of negative things. All right. There you go. You want to do an apartment tour
My apartment I don't know
All right, you got anything? I have a very special segment
Called voted up
When your showers full of mold and just so good by resolve find a problem from way back
Why didn't help get on the show again So vote it up, oh vote it up
Vote it up, it smashes all the booties
And Vito really loves cuties
So vote it up and that's that
Or else Vito will grape your cat
So vote it up, So vote it up.
Oh, vote it up. Oh, vote it up.
Go vote it up.
What song is this?
I have no idea what song.
Probably some sick good song.
Dark Nook.
Thank you.
I don't know.
That might be an original or something.
That was a very good.
Thank you, Dark Nook, for leading us in to
Vote It Up, the very exciting segment.
Or you revisit past problems and put them in a new light.
Dick, from all the way back in
episode 65
was the problem of
Ticketmaster. I remember that
one. I think I brought that one in.
I think I brought that one in
and then I realized that a different show
had done a similar problem and I was like
I gotta stop doubling up.
What are you gonna do? Well, Dick, Ticketmaster had done a similar problem and I was like, I gotta stop doubling up. Yeah.
What are you gonna do?
Well, Dick, Ticketmaster in big trouble.
Okay.
I don't know if you've heard this, but the Justice Department, according to a report
from the Wall Street Journal, is looking to file an antitrust complaint next month, which
may force Live Nation Entertainment to spin off its Ticketmaster ticketing business.
Now Live Nation merged with Ticketmaster in 2010 and basically the State Department or
whatever it was, the Justice Department, sorry, said, okay, but you cannot tie your services
together.
You cannot retaliate against venues
that switch promoters or ticketing services.
Because again, they're like, you can't form a monopoly.
That's literally the one thing you're not allowed to do.
And then they formed a monopoly.
And the Justice Department's like, well.
That's the only thing, the reason they exist.
So.
And their app sucks.
Yeah, it's all a mess.
I almost bought tickets today
and I'm still shocked at how much tickets are
God we went to that and go through the whole thing to see what the fees were
it was probably another 50 bucks on top of it we went to that prom and
which probably some some some yeah club that's a prom themed and
Last week and it was $15 a ticket that sounds good
And last week, and it was $15 a ticket. That sounds good.
But then it was like 15 bucks service fees too.
Yeah.
And because it was a music venue, they had to do,
you know, once they do one show with Ticketmaster,
they gotta do everything.
It's a very bizarre.
I almost bought guided by voices tickets today.
They were like 68 bucks.
And then I saw the last ever Eric Andre live show,
or sorry, what was the name of his television show?
I don't know.
Was it the Eric Andre show?
I think that's what it's called.
Probably.
Well, those tickets are available for that.
I was thinking about going on that.
Regardless, I wish that this breaking up of this monopoly had happened earlier.
Maybe I could have got a deal on the tickets.
That's currently number 309 with 236 upvotes.
They're breaking it up so they can just get back together?
What's the...
Well, I guess they're gonna split them down the middle
and then try to create competition again.
Like AT&T?
Yeah, exactly. It's not gonna...
Who knows if anything's gonna happen.
We'll see. Well, Dick, here's one from way back, episode 47.
I don't even know when that was. It's gotta be like's one from way back, episode 47.
I don't even know when that was.
It's gotta be like two years ago now, huh?
This is the problem of height discrimination.
A lot of people always think I'm the short guy on the show.
We're like equal height, right?
You might have a beach on me.
You're probably a little taller than me.
You think?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you're a very big guy.
I am a very big guy. I am a very big guy. I'm an obnoxiously big
Anyway, well in New Jersey currently landlords business owners and employers
Can't discriminate against people based on gender race religion age marital status sexual orientation disabilities and more
But a bill lawmakers advance on Thursdays would ban
discrimination based on height and weight.
Oh, weight, yeah.
Shutting it down.
I think I heard about this one.
Shutting it down.
Studies have shown that heavier people.
So you can't charge fat people to like sit on the bus
and sit on planes and stuff?
Well, it would be that and also, you know,
when you're hiring people, you can't go,
we don't wanna hire, right now you can say like. Be fat and hiring people, you can't go, we don't want to hire.
Right now you can say like-
So you can be fat and sue everybody
if you didn't get the job.
Yeah, well yeah, exactly.
You can be black and sue everybody, sorry.
If you get a job-
Black women can sue anybody for anything now.
And then you get fat at the job,
now you can sue and go,
well, they fired me because I got fat.
Oh my God.
I mean, it has been shown that heavier people
face weight bias in the workplace.
That includes- Not as much as they deserve though fewer hiring
opportunities lower wages and a higher risk of
Harassment from co-workers. That's just not fair dick
And I would say I think I've suffered harassment from co-workers quite a bit
Yeah, I feel like I come over here every Friday and there's a California ever passes similar
over here every Friday and there's a California ever passes similar discrimination rules. You're saying insane shit and then you're confused that everyone's saying what the fuck is wrong with you.
I think this is just the audience. Some of them are very respectful.
Some of them go, oh a fat guy. That's why you're getting picked on.
That's part of it. Yeah. Luckily I have my height so that otherwise I would get
double discriminated against. New Jersey would be the second state with a law including height and
weight and anti-discrimination laws. Interestingly the only other state with this is Michigan.
That's a state full of fatties apparently who are tired of the discrimination. New York City
however does have a similar statute but that's a city-wide statute and there are no
federal protections right now against height or weight discrimination.
I think we gotta deal with that.
What are we gonna do after that?
Once you can't fire fat people?
No what are they gonna make a bullshit law for after this one?
I'm sure they'll come up with some.
They always got new ideas.
Go with doing naked.
Like always some kind of what's the thing you,
they just go, they make whatever you hate the most
a legal requirement.
So they just go down the thing, like what do you not want?
Oh, you have to have that by law now, okay.
Fat women.
Species, probably, discrimination when the furries,
I don't, did you see the news article
where a high school had a walkout to protest how the furry students are behaving at the school. They're behaving
Oh, apparently they're you know, like like hissing at other students
Like they had a walkout for that. Yeah, I was actually surprised
It was not like one of these lips of tik-tok like fake stories. It was like this is actually going on
I saw the interview to furry on the news wearing their fursuit and they're like well
We just want to be accepted by people okay, see, but I support the first to the furries
I'm like well, that's just goth kids man. They know they're wearing a costume like that's that's fine
I will say right now height discrimination is number 264 with
263 up votes yeah, and if you're me, a big guy who feels discriminated against, consider height discrimination,
weight discrimination, all the same thing.
Why don't you vote it up?
Oh yeah, okay, sorry, I was sleeping on that.
It's okay.
It's alright. When your shower's full of mold and your soap is decadal, find a problem from way back
when it helped get on the show again.
So vote it up, go vote it up, go vote it up.
It smashes all the booty.
Who did this song again?
Darknook.
Darknook! Song again Dark Nick Dark Nook
Okay, and all the stingers be jaunty and fun you guys drop the fucking talented I know
I'm looking for the Miss Piggy picture right now. This is something I can actually bop to. Is this uh...
It wasn't the one you saw? Are you done with your... no I'm looking for um...
For ripoff verse because my problem is uh... His initial tweet. Getting in fights over a woman. Yeah
Happened to you know it's happened to some some guys I've known for a long time. They've decided to blow their stack
You hear guys say it all the time too. Yeah, it's like when women start shit and then you gotta get in there.
No you don't. You don't actually have to ever get in there.
You could just let them get laid out.
Not your problem at all.
Whatever it is in you that's propelling you in front of the arrows for Malady.
Jumping in there. Oh Malady!
Malady, hold on.
You're too fat, so I gotta run around.
And then I'm gonna jump in front of the arrows
once I run around you.
Oh, god.
The arrow's going slow, I hope.
M'lady, I'm still around.
Be there.
I'll be there.
I'm just rounding your hip.
You gotta defend their honor for some reason.
I can see your belly button cresting over the horizon.
I'm there, m'lady.
No, m'lady! No, m'lady! You can't go after people's families!
That was, uh, what a...
Nooooo!
I don't ever understand what these ever-shifting rules of engagement for internet discourse.
Well, it's when I don't like getting made fun of, that's when it becomes verboten.
When people are sick of getting teased, when they get teased once, then all of a sudden,
it's, you can't, then all of a sudden everyone turns into Fast and Furious, Domto You can't you can't call nerd roddick's wife fat with family family with family
We family we drive we drive drive a family drive. We hate star wars you can't call it with family
I mean look
What a fucking schmuck that guy so
Look what a fucking schmuck that guy is so
Ripoff versus the puppet guy right? Yeah, I'm trying to find the fuck puppet master It's probably gonna be a long link I can find it because he's posted like a week ago
And everyone will chop about melted down. That's not the Gary and his angels. Okay, that's the original
So you must respond to that here we go. Okay, so to lay this out Gary is nerd
Roddick he's a youtuber with over a million subscribers
That he hosts a bunch of guys who complain about
Star Wars start well Star Wars and one else and they hold they don't complain about fat woman, which is not Marvel
Of course anything Marvel. Uh-huh Spider-Man
They uh now Which is shocking. Captain Marvel, of course. Anything Marvel. Uh-huh. Uh, Spider-Man. Uh-huh.
They, uh...
There we go.
Now, this...
I'll show the first picture before you go to jump to that.
Look, so...
Here's the first picture.
So, Carolyn posted this. Carolyn is, uh, who?
Isn't that Eric's social media manager?
Oh, yeah.
The Ripperverse lady.
And she said, I don't like to get involved.
And I was like, okay, well, your boss calls women dog fuckers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Alright.
So, they don't want any drama.
Your boss calls housewives someone with like 100 followers, a dog fucker, over and over and over.
These guys are- You don't want to create drama on the internet.
Yeah, yeah. You don't want to support that. These guys are- You don't want to create drama on the internet.
Yeah, yeah.
These guys are unconscionably cruel to people.
Like really, really bad guys.
Just because they made a movie, which I don't care.
You can treat people however you want,
but once you get into the
I'm gonna be insanely cruel to everyone,
you can't be number one,
you can't have a wife that's number one, this fat, and two, she can't go around
posting pictures of herself online. Well, you can't be this, you can't be this fucking fat,
you can't be this fat, post pictures of online, and then have a fucking tantrum when people do this.
One picture of your foul wife next to Miss Piggy.
Oh no.
You know, yeah, you just gotta roll with it, right?
You had more control over your weight than Miss Piggy had over her!
She got stuffed at the factory!
Okay?
You've been stuffing yourself!
So don't go crying!
Why do I get the feeling?
Don't go crying to all these beta alpha males that come and go, no, my lady, no!
Kermie! Now! You get your defenders in here right now
I'll say I don't think that they're
neurotic himself did not respond he
demanded that the only way people would
respond like this is if he he maybe
posted it in a group chat you think and
everybody rushed they just knew they're
like no we can't I don't care they are
pulling ranks what does he care he's a
big rich millionaire, right?
Right, but all his friends and his sycophants are going,
well, that just shows you the kind of people we're dealing with that they would call this woman.
They're going after his family! They're going after his family!
Don't you lay a hand on my fam!
Like they're in the fucking Mafia? What the fuck?
Ripoffers took a picture that you posted
Dropped it and put it next to a picture of Miss Piggy. He's just saying wow that bitch is fat total meltdown
It well okay, so it started off with people This is a guy, Nerd-Rodic by the way has harassed Mark Hamill's granddaughter
So badly that Mark Hamill's granddaughter's mom begged him to stop.
And little girl's mother begged Nerd-Roddick to stop telling his millions of followers
that her grandfather wanted to abort her.
Because he doesn't agree with his politics.
Fucking psychotic!
It's really-
Psychotic! Well, I I mean I've always looked
at these guys you know going back to like when guys like the quartering it
would be like I'm making a video about how Brie Larson's a bitch I'm like okay
alright I'm gonna make a second video about Brie Larson's bitch I'm like alright
that seems a bit much yeah and then like a year later he's got 300 videos about
how Brie Larson's a bitch and I go, You know she's just an actress, right?
This has gotten into the realm of like a sickness.
And the fact that you're still making money off it
and you don't see anything wrong with it
is super fucking weird.
But then these guys-
Well they get themselves out there,
okay then so did your big fucking fat wife.
As the same with these guys,
yeah they just go at Mark Hamill so many times,
like that nerd Roddick guy-
He wanted to abort his granddaughter, he wanted to,
hey, that's my daughter. Can you just stop?
Can you stop tweeting about the fact that... That's a reasonable... First of all, you know,
people get stressed out. They say wild shit. That's kind of a reasonable wild shit to say
in that sort of a situation, but she's, she's a little girl now. Stop saying these things about her.
It's also a thing where you go, okay, but I don't believe you care about the child in
this situation.
I think you care about dunking on Mark Hamill because you don't like that he was your favorite
Star Wars guy, but then he said he doesn't like Trump.
Yeah.
So you've created this like petty campaign against him using your spam.
You wanna do a BORN YOUR GRAND D a board your granddaughter, you wanna do a board your-
Bro, your wife's fat. WOOOOO, W- here take mine. No, no I need some sunglasses.
My lady, you can't call anyone fat. I represent the defender- the fat lady defender guild. I need some sunglasses.
Did we lose the sunglass overlay that we used to have? Oh yeah, wait put those on. Okay, well let me see if I can. No, no, I think they're on the, they're on the, uh.
They're on a different one probably.
Here, I got it, I know where they are.
Okay.
I know where they are.
A dick in his bits.
Yeah, God forbid.
Copy it, just copy, this is Control C.
There you go.
Did it paste them?
You gotta put them on top.
There you go, there's your son.
Here we go.
The magic of technology.
Here, I'll get it. I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it. Resize it a little bit. Get out of go. There's your son. Here we go. The magic of technology. Here, I'll get it.
I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it.
Resize it a little bit. Get out of here.
They're too big.
There. Everything's too big for me, Vito.
When you're in the family, Gelb, you can't go after people's families. What's next?
They're gonna start making fun of people who are too skinny or really short or stupid or really short.
This is your Cecil impression.
Or people whose comic books aren't any good and they're short.
What's next? We gotta draw the line somewhere and we're drawing it on Nerd-Roddick's Fat Life.
Yeah, the...
Is that funny?
That's pretty funny.
Is that funny?
That's good.
I don't...
I don't want to be famous too. I mean... I don't- I wanna be famous too! I mean-
I won't-
I wanna be-
I wanna be famous like Mark Hamill!
He tried to abort his granddaughter!
What the fuck, man?
A lot of people, uh-
Everybody get that guy!
There's a lot of people trying to be the moral barometer.
Look at this guy put a picture of Miss Piggy!
And nobody saw it!
So everybody make sure you see it
Hey nerdlatic. Did you see what I'm doing? I'm defending your wife
Well, they got it. They got to get behind each other
I think they're all got a show support in this horrible moment
I was gonna say the moment that this became because you know, I would get that, you know
You get a posture and you got to go
Oh, you know how look at how awfully would be to say this about my wife the moment became like truly absurd was when
picture of Miss Piggy geeks and gamers which has a website that pretend a real news website yeah
Made a news article let me find that a news article saying
People on Twitter called nerd Roddick's wife fat isn't that the worst thing ever and you're
like okay let me real quick I just want to remind myself so you guys have like
weekly streams and constant videos that are always going on about I don't know
some person on Twitter and you'll go look at this pink haired SJW F slur and
look how fat she is right I 100% you can do that. Uh-huh. We know that's okay
We've yeah you awesome have thumbnails where every single thumbnail you take that screaming lady from the Trump
Who's mad about Trump did nothing with the knit hat and the jacket she yelled
And you're making you're making fun of her for being stupid and yelling and whatever
It's just minding her own business. And that's a lady you don't know her at all and you should not have any-
And no one can post a crapped picture of your own wife!
Who's a public figure, I think she's a fitness influencer or something.
Yeah.
Fitness-
Wait, she-
Fitness bowl buffet in her mouth!
Fitness!
Wow.
I've got some influencing to do!
Fit in any size, right? Isn't that what they say?
Fitness burger in a turkey and then I'm gonna eat that. I've got some Influencing to do. Fit in any size, right? Isn't that what they say?
Fit in this burger
In a turkey and then I'm gonna eat that
This was indeed
This is neurotic. Are you excited to see your granddaughter?
Hey, are you watching with your granddaughter? Do you have an appreciation tweet for your-
Bro, are you fucking methed out or what? Your granddaughter is thrilled to be alive.
Mark Hamill- this is constantly replying to Mark Hamill.
I think he has alerts set up that anytime Mark Hamill tweets anything-
Look at this shit! Don't forget your granddaughter this Christmas probe
I mean, that's not even all I guess
This is how you do you chase down people who owe you meth money like this hey, man
I'm gonna come after your granddaughter by the way
What the fuck these guys are like a weird?
Sickness man, it's weird
Or more good is more from more about the granddaughter
It's non-stop, and that's not even like, look, calling a woman fat is kind of funny, right? I get it.
Oh yeah.
Going after a guy and being like, you tried to abort your granddaughter over and over.
You're like, that's the bit you're going to do?
Buddy, I was trying to help my son.
And then you saw like other comments from people who were like, oh man, neurotic's really
roasted and he's getting him.
And I'm like, this is sick what you're doing.
This is not, you know, just call Mark Hamill
like a piece of shit, it would be better.
Those guys and all their fans are very sick.
This is the granddaughter's mom.
Please stop mentioning my child, she's saying to Neurotic,
please stop mentioning my child, this happened yesterday,
in response to whatever tweets Mark makes.
I have no idea what's going on between you and your other YouTubers, podcasters,
fandoms, etc.
I just know I don't want my daughter used to spite her family who she's been
seeing for a while now.
That's the other thing is that the situation.
Okay, so for the people that don't know, Mark Hamill's son got this woman
pregnant and supposedly, I guess there might be texts or something
where abortion was being discussed,
but it's also at the point where Mark Hamill
now sees his granddaughter and he loves his granddaughter,
so it's like even more retarded.
It's not his kid!
Now, she says, please stop mentioning my child
in your fucking weird, obsessive, like, you clearly
want Mark Hamill to be your dad and you seem kind of jealous of this little girl that she
is the granddad you wish you had.
Like, I mean, I don't know, I'm no psychologist, but it's obviously that.
What is the prime dysfunction for these guys?
Because you know what it is, a lot of these guys, they love this media, okay?
And I get it.
But like, there's some media I consume
where I go, oh yeah, me and the guy who made that
probably would not be friends and that's fine.
I still respect what he does.
I never have the idea that I'm gonna be friends
with anybody that's media I'm consuming.
Right, no.
There's even some guys where I go,
man, I hate that fucking guy's politics,
but like he is real funny or he makes real good stuff.
Tom Likus is a huge anti-Trump guy and I still love him 100% as I ever did.
Because I think about the content.
That's the healthiest way to consume content.
These guys like weirdly go, well I love Star Wars, and so everybody who works in Star Wars,
I want them to agree with me and have the same political opinions as me.
And you're like, well that's not going to happen man.
That's retarded.
Yeah. And your wife's fat
Just saying she's no moon. I thought it was a moon over there. That's no moon
There's two spheres in Vegas
How dare you make fun of my how dare you make fun of my friend's wife like that
Can we find this geeks or game article so? So NerdRoddick says in response to please stop making fun of my child on the internet
Yeah for your weird political fight. And NerdRoddick
weirdly says
Absolutely fair enough and that is great to hear. What do you mean fair enough?
Fair enough of what that is great to hear. What do you mean fair enough? Fair enough of what?
The child?
What do you mean fair enough?
I mean, he wants to back away without admitting fault.
And I don't know how he does that.
Cause it's sick what he's doing.
Fair enough?
Like I look at what he was doing.
I'm sorry.
You're sick.
Like that's fucking weird.
I get that you don't like Mark Hamill,
but like constantly bringing up
Where's your granddaughter at? Where's your granddaughter? What the fuck is wrong with you?
Your wife ate her. What? What? How dare you? How dare you disrespect my wife? How dare you disrespect my wife in such a way?
Yeah, they have
It's trite to say but like the hypocrisy of these guys and more and more people are saying it's the bitchisy of these guys. And more and more people are saying, it's the bitchness of the guys.
It's the complete bitchness,
how they always have to collectivize
and have each other's back.
That compulsion to have each other's back
and by proxy have your friend's wife's back
is fucking disgusting to me.
I don't expect that from you.
Like you give me shit all the time
and I give you shit all the time.
Could you imagine melting down over a Photoshop of something? Yeah your cat?
Yeah, right. I go I'd go. Yeah. Okay. What do you know? Whatever?
You know if I went to like a public event and I brought my girlfriend
You know and let's assume I was dating a fat girl because I'm probably would be dating a fat girl as I normally do
I would tell those pictures. Oh pictures. Yeah that's the thing.
Don't be able to see that shit.
Listen, there's a lot of guys on the internet who hate me.
If I post some pictures, some people might say something rude.
They're going to.
They definitely will say something rude.
Yeah.
Okay and you will be in my Kiwi Farms thread and everyone will go, look at this fat cow
because everything I do they have to pretend it's the end of the world.
I think this week they're discussing 20 year old YouTube videos.
See, because they got this Chinese one.
Yeah, they nailed it.
But you got to tell these people, that is a really bad picture of her there with the
mouth open.
With the mouth open?
Yeah, if you're a fat girl, don't open your mouth.
An apple just fell out of it.
In a picture.
I think.
Look.
Do the live shot.
But this is also the sphere that you've chosen to engage in.
Your husband is a professional rabble rousing asshole.
Here Cecil, yeah, I'm gonna stand by my don't go after family member stance.
Okay, good luck.
It's so easy for me to suck these guys cocks because I'm only three feet tall.
Glad this freed you up to unleash the secret animosity you've been holding.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
ComicSkate, huh? What a bunch of... It's a fun group.
What a bunch of fucking pussies.
Not all of them. Not all of them. You're like some ComicSkate guys.
Who cares?
Some guys, it's crazy. I don't get it.
Fuck people.
Yeah. I want all the ComicSk you guys. I don't know what I want
All I want is
Look, I want is no fat women to post pictures online. Is that so hard to ask? I think I think
That might be a bit much you're not getting that soon
Why because women love taking pictures is their favorite so the quartering and Cecil want me to stop?
I mean they want you to not
These are the guys who are so anti trans
trans women in sports
But they want us to just not react when some fucking heffa lump posts a selfie of herself with her mouth agape
Like there's food spilling like you could be sucked in like Kirby at any moment. I'm supposed to just go
Oh, that's a woman. Oh, do do do do do do.
Well, you make a good point with the trans stuff,
because these are also the same guys.
You know, we're constantly posting pictures
of like trans people who don't look great or whatever
and ridiculing their appearance.
So like, what is this idea that,
because you're related to a lady,
she's like untouchable now.
That's not how this works.
What are you talking about?
She's untouchable by virtue of the
Looks I would say if you were like
Some like super nice guy or whatever, you know, I don't even know who I'm with. Mr. Rogers, maybe let's say Mr. Rogers Yeah had a really fat wife. I would I would go
Yeah, Pierce Brosnan. Okay, he does have a lot of fun of his fat wife
But I don't like making fun of his fat wife because Pierce Brosnan is not out here
engaging and shit flinging and
You know she was probably attractive at one point. They seem happy together. It seems like low hanging fruit. Yeah, exactly, okay
Did someone say low hanging fruit? My favorite
But you literally you exist in a sphere on the internet Where horrible things are being said cause it's how you guys are saying money from saying horrible
You are doing it all kinds of people and one guy don't go out through people's families here, bro
It's not even like look you might even I don't think we're like the Under Armour mafia, bro
Right you don't make fun of our fan if the ripoff
And said I'm gonna hold your fat wife down and rape the shit out of her I might go
All right that that might be over the line over swung he overswung over swing it's sharp
But he posted a picture of her next to Miss Piggy and you guys got so butthurt about it
You wrote a news article on your website about it. That's so fucking weird
Like like crying like a little bitch cuz somebody compared your wife to miss his way
And also do you think that's gonna make it stop?
Do you think that's the best way to you know what you do you go?
Maybe you give her a toy if she loses weight every week
No, you have the only way to stop her some toy madness is to get a large treasure chest of toys
So yeah these guys
Pathetic.
Getting in fights over a woman.
But that's what's driven me nuts about all this entire sphere of guys is they're like,
we love criticizing people and calling people horrible names and whatever else and they've
said horrible things about me that I won't even repeat, but whatever and I take it on
the chin.
They've said that, they've probably said worse.
Disgusting.
Yeah. Okay, they've said horrible things.
And the book is late.
And the book is late,
and that's the worst thing that could ever happen.
It's not late, it's delayed.
Estimated shipping date, luck.
You just take it on the-
Hey, can you not post that?
Yeah, can you, what?
Come on, look at it.
Come on, give me a break.
Don't post, look, just go with it.
Just go along with it.
Nerdradica, you're the most esteemed,
you're the most esteemed king of Nerdland.
Who would dare, who would dare say
that your wife is fat, my liege?
No, don't worry about it at all.
We'll post the picture, and my lord,
if anyone posts a picture of Miss Piggy in response,
then we shall rain down our battalions
of sanctimony upon them.
Lord Cecil, right over here, you can- oh no, there you are down there.
Lord Cecil, please, get up here on this footstool,
and you can proclaim your love for his lord, Nerdrotic, and his clout.
I'm not keeping track of all the different players here,
but it seems like there's a lot of fighting about what's okay and what's not.
Well, you got the quartering, who's a guy and a half,
and you got Cecil, who's just a half.
That's how you keep track of it in your head.
Did the quartering get in on this one? I wasn't sure.
Of course! He did.
If there's a milady to defend,
the quartering shall be there!
With his steed!
Mighty be his coffee steed!
I think if you have decided
that the way you want to make money is by being a very public asshole.
Yeah, okay, it's the same for a certain
African American comic creator who goes,
I don't know why anyone would critique my comic book company
and say mean things about it.
It's like, what do you do to other comic book companies?
What are you talking about?
I bet she has a favorite snack that she flies with I bet when she flies
It's that the mark of a true fat woman. I just she knows exactly what snacks. She's bringing on the plane
I'm gonna get some cheese it's almond M&Ms. I can't go on a plane
Almond M&Ms. I need my
milk duds
Not gonna make this flight. I can't really do it. You know now you nailed it
Did we get a we're getting a miss piggy puppet, I'm sure I'm sure it's already in the works
Even even though I'll say this though. It seemed like EVS
First he was kind of trying to uh...
Trying to mediate.
He's like, I don't know, maybe too far, but...
Oh, I don't give a shit!
Not that...
What?
It's gone.
Who cares?
It should have been a thing where he poses the picture of her as Miss Piggy, and you
just, you don't say anything.
And you move on.
You don't grandstand about, how could you... This is family. of her as Miss Piggy, and you just, you don't say anything, and you move on. You don't grandstand about, how could you?
This is family.
Think about family.
This movie's about family.
How do you move family in this?
Can't put family in this, we're family.
You come to me the distance on the day of my wife's buffet,
and you post this disrespect.
These guys do have like a weird social clique.
It's called being gay.
It's like, it's, it's, they, I don't know, maybe it's just a really deep great friendship
where you feel this, I don't know, tremendous need to defend someone else's wife.
I don't get it.
M'lady.
I would just go to Nerd-Roddick or whoever else and I'd go, listen mate, don't be a bitch,
just move on, it's not important.
M'lady, you dropped if somebody's like of mint Oreos
And if I'm anybody if I'm Jeremy Akeeks and gamers and I don't know who wrote that article but they go
This is really horrible. I'm gonna write an article about it. I know no no no doesn't Disney do that
Doesn't Disney talk about like online trolls? Yeah exactly
Same thing the the harassment against our women of color
on the Star Wars set.
Our women of size.
Can you believe it?
These evil online trolls are harassing our women of size
for merely being beautiful, being too beautiful
and posting pictures of it online.
Basically, the rules are, it always comes down to
we're allowed to do whatever we want.
Some for me, more for me.
Yeah, exactly.
We're allowed to do whatever we want
and everything we do is good.
And if anybody does the exact same thing
but directed at us, it's bad and evil.
Unacceptable.
And they are morally abhorrent.
Yeah.
Hi, Miss Piggy, how you been?
Good point, Vito. They are morally abhorrent. Yeah. Hi, Miss Piggy. How you been?
Get all this piggy ripoff verse what a hero that guy is that guy is a one fucking Photoshop blown now We now we know now we know how to get them get the word out to everybody like an independent
Yeah, exactly. Now we got the virus
We know how do we know right?
And they'll call their wives and all their fans clearly all have fat wives, too
We're gonna spread like a virus. That's a lot of it's just I
Can't I can't figure these people out. It's about health. It's about health
I don't how do you spend all this time?
misinterpret what I'm saying. Talking shit about all
Everything just constantly talking shit. Mm-hmm and someone makes fun of your wife you go
I can't process this
Unacceptable
About health
It's about health and being healthy. She can swim down. She looks like a big bond lady though. Bad for the knees.
It's bad for the longevity.
You wanna stay around.
You wanna be around for a long time.
So you gotta eat healthy and you gotta exercise.
That's my point.
I already got it.
That's all of what I said up until now
was all about your health.
Just wanna make that clear.
I mean, you got a diminished timeline
because of all the meth use right
so you don't want to be fat on top of that. That's about your health too. That's about your health too.
All this is about health. Mental health is about the health. You don't want to be a big fat
slob that's bad for your mental health. Right. You gotta swim down tight. It's helpful. Boom.
What not to do is Miss Piggy. That's the example.
Alright, that's my problem.
Great problem.
Say it again.
Uh, guys getting in fights over women.
Great stuff.
You think that was, I think that's accurate.
I think I related it to the problem.
Makes sense to me.
It's Yoda too, right?
Where's Piggy's Yoda?
Yeah, very close.
Very close.
Yeah. Who did Fonzie send, right? Where's Piggy's Yoda?
Uh, yeah, very close.
Hank Oz.
Very close.
Yeah.
Who did Fonzie- or uh, Fozzie Bear sound like?
Fozzie?
He had a very similar voice.
I think that was Ed Gein that did him.
Ed Gein.
Yeah, was it?
That was not Ed Gein.
Were you expecting me to not know who Ed Gein was?
Dirty.
Uh, well I had somebody comment on the show, they said,
You know what, you guys have really been fucking on the show. They said, you know what?
You guys have really been fucking up the show.
And I said, what do you mean?
And they said, you don't play a sound in between problems
to let me know that we've moved on to the next problem.
Oh.
Like a drum roll of some sort.
You gotta have a better sound than that.
Yeah, we should.
But if I play a fucking sound that I search for online, it's gonna...
It's gonna put ads all over the video and then everyone's gonna cry about it. What, you guys have ads every five minutes?
Well, you can find other, uh...
You can find other sounds, I guess.
Let me see.
Royalty free...
We gotta do it now.
Sound...
Just go to the freesound.org. I already told you to go to freesound.org.
Okay, yeah, okay.
Oh, there it is! The first one.
Oh, there it is! The first one.
Oh, there it is! The first one.
Alright.
And then you click the second one! You need to click the one I told you to go to freesound.org. Oh, there it is. It's the first one. All right. And then you click the second one.
You need to click the one I told you to click.
Ha ha ha. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr It's cool! That's not a good one! It's got cool sound! No, that sucks. Get out of here! Stop messing with the mouse! Don't download that!
If I play it, I can't play it again, because then it means the problem's over.
Hahaha!
Alright.
Uh, man, I got two problems here.
I guess I'll just go into the one-
No, I'll save the one little piss everybody off for later.
Uh, Dick!
Aw, great.
Well, you know, you don't want to ruin the fun just yet.
Uh, can we go to-
We gotta talk about the- We gotta have a huge fight about the card game.
We should, yeah.
I think it could go either way.
There's a couple of ways to do it.
I just think my way is clearly better.
It's not that big an argument.
We're gonna talk about that.
Huge argument.
Okay.
So my problem, I've queued up some videos on Twitter
that I was hoping we could look at.
Is that a thing we can do
while you're making alien sound effects happen?
I'm putting the fucking sound effect in.
That's a bad sound effect. I don't want that to be the problem effect.
I don't know what sound you're talking about.
Well, okay.
One thing you'll notice is that there's always people trying to scare you, right?
Because that's how you get clicks. That's how you get excitement.
But some of these scare tactics I find ridiculous as I saw with this tweet
Coming from the Sean Spicer show. Okay, and I'll read that tweet here if you bring it up
Sean Spicer says hot little horror a chick-fil-a chicken sandwich has over 50 ingredients
including ingredients we make Silly
Putty out of! Oh my god! Electrons? What? I think I did end up ratioing this where I said
Silly Putty? Did you know there's traces of HTO in McDonald's hamburger? The same
HTO found in rat poison? Like what is this? That fucking broad you're talking
to is half made out of silly putty too.
Dude, look at her fucking face. What a goof around.
What's in silly putty?
I don't know. It's like, it's probably like some hydrocarbonate, whatever the fucks.
It's probably some generic conservat- like uh, preservative, like a cornstarch kind of thing.
That's in everything.
Boric acid, silica,
Mmhmm, glycerine, is Glycerine. Castor oil.
Okay, castor oil.
I don't know.
Glycerin?
I mean, what?
I don't even think that's true what that guy's saying.
It doesn't make any sense, but they always do this.
My problem, Dick, is fake food fake outs.
It is the theory that the food you're eating
is some sort of insane.
Okay, when the world heard the term that the food you're eating is some sort of Insane, okay
We when the when the world heard the term fake food fake fakeouts fake food
Well, I guess that's fake twice FFFO. Whatever. I like it fake food fake out fake out
Oh fake food freak outs that makes you got it. You had it. This is exactly the car
Fucking massage it in there it's faithful freak I say wrong look I killed myself a beautiful
cell look ever since people heard the term processed food they decided to
never learn what it actually means and to just assume that their food is some
sort of plastic hybrid that the that these companies are sneaking glass shards and plastic
beads into everything they eat. And look. Liberals. On some level I can totally understand
wanting to know what you eat. I get it. But then we get into. It doesn't decompose either.
There's ice cream that's not melting for two years.
Is that a thing? I didn't see that one, but I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for that.
Somebody had an ice cream and it wasn't. It was not melting.
Well, good. I have some examples that I brought up on my thing.
We can look at exactly what people are talking about.
Someone ate a Big Mac and they shit out a whole Big Mac. Did you see that one?
They shit an entire Big Mac?
The same. The buns buns too in the same shape
Yeah, I don't think that's correct here was a video that I saw it over on tik-tok
If you eat Wendy's you know that every burger has identical perfect pieces of lettuce on them
So we put it to the test
Wait what puzzle the puzzle piece that popped up so you're supposed to drag the puzzle piece
I don't know that, what I passed.
You just clicked it away. You don't have to answer that fucking puzzle.
It's always judging you like, oh you did the puzzle too slow.
Not that great, it wasn't as fast as it could be.
Yeah, most people are faster than you. You can just skip off of it?
Fuck you!
Maybe it depends on where you're at.
Anyway, this is a gentleman who, you know, at Wendy's of course,
they have that beautiful green lettuce in every burger.
He wants to prove to you-
How the fuck are you gonna burn wet lettuce?
How do you burn your head?
Dick, shouldn't the lettuce burn?
No!
Are you a crackhead?
How the fuck is lettuce gonna burn?
Look he's trying to burn the lettuce and he says
Look, it's fake!
It's plastic lettuce!
Which till then this is crazy?
Plastic would burn you crack at it
You could you could boil water and lettuce look it's melting, but it's not actually
Let it shouldn't bubble
Holy shit. Oh my god your skin will bubble to their boindex
Oh my god.
Your skin will bubble to their boindexter.
They're saying it smells like plastic. Probably because it's burnt, you fucking retard.
It smells like meth.
That's why.
So their belief is, let's be clear, if you go on TikTok, there's like hundreds of these.
These people are way too comfortable lighting things on fire in their car.
Well, you should have the windows down to begin with.
They're fucking meth addict.
I think there might be something there.
So your theory, your working theory is that it would be so instead of lettuce, which is just a crop you can grow in the ground
Throw some water on it and then you just get a bunch of Mexicans to pick out of the ground
You think it would be cheaper for the Wendy's corporation to manufacture and synthetic?
Plastic lettuce where we got them that to manufacture and synthetic plastic lettuce.
This is where we got them.
This is how we get them.
This is how we get them good.
We got these bastards.
We got these guys.
We're going to get this shit out of these fucking fat lettuce.
They're still eating it, by the way.
These are a classic.
This is the new year.
For those of you...
Oh shit, I got it open twice.
This is actually an old video, but this is still a thing. Why are these guys trying to light all their food on fire?
They are convinced that it's actually plastic!
They think it's plastic! They think that if you set...
I mean, it's not very good cheese, but at least it's cheese.
No, it's cheap cheese, but let's be clear,
any type of cheese, if you hold a lighter up to it,
you could probably get it to turn black.
Because the idea is it's like, it's such a hot heat.
Listen to that.
Listen to it.
This is plastic. This is ridiculous do your hair
I didn't believe this until I went to my fridge and got this cheese or actually have a
Travertine countertop
No, this is this is nine years before
And it's not melting okay, but here's the thing that...
It's not wax. Is that supposed to melt? Look at this steak. It's not melting at all.
What everybody brings up eventually, they're like, well, that's strange because I've definitely
made a grilled cheese with that and it melted. At like 400 degrees.
Yeah. Well, no, it's's what do you call it from a
from the Kraft Corporation they say in the case of a natural cheese because
obviously natural cheese for people who don't know Kraft singles have those
emulsifying salts in them which make it like super sloppy yeah they make it super
creamy it's actually funny I saw a video of a guy and he's like here's how to
make a bag of cheese put some Velveeta in there
Everybody was freaking out and it's like no that's actually how like if you don't have access to emulsifying salts
Which are like a rare ingredient that most people don't have you can just throw some Velveeta in there and get the same thing
But I gotta make the food videos man
Did you see it did highest did the guy reach out to you the editor which a very good editor?
DM'd me and said I'm gonna reach out to veto and he's gonna have have some bullshit excuse for why he doesn't get a lot of DMs I think
I did he's good he makes good stuff all right well I said I'll write it and I'll
record my voice if somebody will do all the video editing and find do it good
though find foot yeah yeah I'm gonna do what a shitty thing to say to anybody
about anything yeah but yeah, but do it good.
Oh, okay.
I was going to do a really shitty job.
I'm glad you said that.
Very helpful.
You get it from when people are walking away.
You go, hey, hey, hey, do it good though.
Do it good though.
Why'd you stop me?
I'm like a fucker.
I was planning on doing a bad job.
Craft singles need lower, longer heat because, you you know if you make a grilled cheese
Again because as the emulsifying salt look the thing is all these like crazy theories You ever see the guys are like always obsessed with the fact that a McDonald's hamburger won't grow mold on it
We're like a look no it's not though. It's a bit odd. Okay. Well, let's let's think about it logically a
McDonald's hamburger Jews sure the Jews you, the Jews are selling you fake.
Aliens are taking orders from the Jews once again.
But it's never like following through and going, OK, it's beef.
We know that beef is sold in the supermarket.
It doesn't make sense to make fake beef.
It makes more sense to just get a cow and kill it.
OK?
So what is actually happening?
Yeah, there's like a lot of preservatives and stuff.
Not in McDonald's beef. Yeah
It's 100% beef. That's it. Most restaurants are using one. But the buns?
There's a lot of sugar in the buns. The buns probably have a shit ton of sugar. Yeah, there we go.
But we're talking about the meat. Now you're talking. Where people make the video, you know
It used to be I think when people go to they would go to schools to try and prove a point about food
I think this happened in our school like a a food scientist came in and they said,
look, I've had this McDonald's hamburger for 10 years
and look, it's perfectly preserved.
And when you're a kid, you're like, ew, gross.
But then when you're an adult, you go, okay, well, cause-
Let me have that hamburger.
Yeah, well, first I want it, yeah.
Well, first of all, the surface area of that patty
is very small, they're not big burgers
and they're very thin.
There's not a lot of moisture in,
you need moisture for mold to happen, right?
Oh. So there's a limited amount of moisture in a McDonald's hamburger that if you leave it out
it just it dries out. You gotta make these videos man. Okay. This is good stuff. A good example is
beef jerky. Does beef jerky ever grow mold on it? Very rarely. You would have to get it wet.
You would have to like somehow get it open. If you leave it open and there's moisture in the bag
it could grow mold on it but otherwise beef jerky
will keep for a while that's basically what happens with McDonald's hamburger
is that it doesn't have enough moisture for mold to grow on it so it just dries the
fuck out of all the chemicals they put on no because the fake plastic lettuce
and the fake plastic cheese and all this nonsense look it's all these people and
then they start you get these crazy what then they start, you get these crazy,
what do you call it? You get these crazy ideas that sound cute, but they're never true. You
remember when, I think it was in school, people would be like, you know why they changed the
name to KFC, right? Because it's illegal to say it's chicken. It's illegal to say it's
chicken. It's not really chicken. I started that. You started that. That was you. I started
that at your school. That's another problem. You never know how things get that. You started that. That was you. You started that at your school. That's another problem.
You never know how things get started.
You know what another good problem is?
Is people claiming that their school was responsible
for a certain meme or joke or something.
My school was responsible for the whole 420 thing.
I bet.
My school started 420.
We were the first ones.
Another good one I remember is another Domino's thing.
See, I always think, oh, here comes another food problem.
But then like 30 minutes in, I'm like, man, I gotta know about this. Food problems are good. Domino's thing you're talking about. Well, at Domino's thing is a see I always think oh here comes another food problem But then like 30 minutes in I'm like man. I gotta know about this food problems are you talking about well at Domino's?
Everybody eats on the box. It says
100% real cheese
Pedal-free cheese should say 100% pedal-free cheese and then the rumor that was going around was that there was a company
Named 100% real
So that was the name of the company selling fake cheese.
But then they could say, yes, it's 100% real cheese.
So there's always-
Can you do that?
Am I allowed to do that?
I don't think you're allowed to do that.
Can I sell cum and say,
and make a company called 100% not cum?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I wonder if there is like a loophole
you could get away with doing something like
that. You know, like a, like a gold company, 100% gold bars, 100% gold bars. Yeah. And
then the bars are made. I got gold. I got fucked on that. I got fucked was cause it's
the what's the juice company, ocean spray. If you go to the- I thought you were gonna say, I thought we were already talking about gold.
What do you mean?
Oh, juice.
Juice.
You go to the store, you ever see the bottles that say,
it's big, 100% juice.
Yeah.
You're like, awesome.
Cause I just want cranberry juice, only cranberry juice.
And that's 100% juice.
Yeah, but it's always in a cocktail juice. It's not 100%. Cranberry juice is 100's 100% juice. Yeah, but it's always cocktail juice.
It's not 100%.
Cranberry juice is 100% a bunch of different juices
cut together labeled as cranberry.
Yeah.
They fuck you.
Yeah.
So look, false labeling aside.
Still on the cranberry stuff, huh?
I haven't had cranberry juice in a while.
I did get a buzz ball.
Are they good?
Is that right?
I finally wanted to, I kept seeing them and I was like, I want to try it. I need to. I tried the a buzz ball. Are they good? It was alright. I finally wanted, I kept seeing them and I was like I want to try it.
Me too.
I tried the cranberry one.
It was good mixed with, I mixed it with my prime.
That was alright.
I came in here to try to clean up and I picked up all your, one can after the next and they're all cold.
I'm like, oh whoops that was Vito's.
Oh wait, how many fucking cans does Vito have in here right now, today?
No I have this, I got the, this is empty,
I have the deco.
You're like Neil Hamburger over there.
And I got a coffee I gotta deal with.
I do have the lime buzz ball I'm looking forward to trying,
that's in my fridge right now.
Okay.
Do you get the TikTok videos of the guy making a crazy,
alcoholic nonsense?
No, I got pants from TikTok.
Oh man.
Making fun of fat women.
That's who you can't, everybody says like,
Nick Fuentes and all these guys think they're so tough
making fun of Jews.
Try making fun of fat women.
Making fun of women is the real,
that's the real line.
Try to come where I'm at, boys.
Try to get on my level.
Once you're done with all this anti-Semitic shit,
you come over here.
People have been dunking on the Jews a lot lately. Well, you know, they uh...
Well, it was making fun of them because they were making fun of them before.
All the trying to get around the Sabbath and stuff with their magic string around New York and shit.
The kosher light switch? Have you seen it?
Yeah, we were talking about it.
Have you seen the commercial?
I finally watched how it works.
Well, I didn't see a commercial, but it was like a breakdown of it.
Oh, my...
What's the commercial?
There's a whole commercial on the kosher light switch! Oh my my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my that your food is plastic for some reason. Just keep in mind that plastic costs probably more money
than just growing food.
I know a kid in high school who was like,
I can't believe you eat that instant rice.
I'm like, what do you mean?
He's like, well, because it's plastic.
I'm like, you think there's a factory
where they're cutting up little sheets of plastic
and make rice instead of just growing rice?
The most abundant crop on the fucking planet?
It costs nothing to grow rice you retard
Plastic and everything there is
But they're not but not on purpose on purpose
It's that we're not detecting it with a lighter and you're in your fucking Corolla worried about your dad's
I hate to tell you this you're fucked you cannot not eat plastic at this point
We've been leaching it into the it into the tattoos on that guy's
Bro you have a fucking swastika on your inside of your wrist
One of the big tragedies of food is like if you're a fish guy that they now tell you they're like yeah
You shouldn't eat so much fish
Cuz like there's just so much plastic and mercury in the oceans now that if you eat more than like two times a week they're like yes that I mean it's like
you know low calorie but it will just eventually rot your brain away with all
the mercury yeah. Mercury? What the fuck are you talking about? Dude there's a shit
because we've been for the longest time the factories were just dumping
everything in the ocean. Who? Who was doing that? Every company ever like I
don't know any textile plants whatever anything near is a textile a textile is like cloth and fucking clothing and shit
so like for the last 80 years or hundred years ever since they've been dumping
mercury in the revolution we just said the ocean you can just put anything in
there that you want and it's gotten to a level now where if you eat a fish if you
eat fish more than like two times a week You can build up a lethal dose of mercury in your body. Shut up. That's not true. Look it up. No, I'm not looking it up
I'll find CNN or like there's guys who have said I tried to go on like look now
I probably sound like a conspiracy theorist. You do, no fucking way. I've read articles where guys like. What if I go to Whole Foods?
It's the same it's all coming out of the same fucking ocean. What if I pay extra at Whole Foods?
No, it's all got mercury in it and a shit ton of plastic. Fish is like
Plastic I'm fine with. I don't want any mercury. Well, you can't not have mercury
I can't attune it. I simply won't allow it. Any fish you're eating has some mercury in it, bro
What about the really big ones?
It is what it is the ocean is just fucking full of mercury.
Why do you guys talk about this shit all the- you and her. You're- oh. You know what?
Well, cause I like fish. It sucks.
Both of you are fucking biased. You're- oh yeah, cause Fat Guy's in the filet of fish, right?
I like the filet of fish. You can't get it too often.
Why do you guys like fish so much? Cause you can fry it.
No, I like it not fried. I like like, what do you call it, sashimi?
Fascinating. I don't think do you call it sashimi? Fascinating.
I don't think it's like a fat guy thing. Asian people eat fish like crazy. I know a lot of fat guys, and I eat normal so I know what you guys are eating that's weird, and you all
fucking love fish. I think it's more that if I meet if I talk to a fat guy about food
100% chance he's gonna start talking about fish. I think skinny people stay skinny because they're not very adventurous with their eating.
They just go, I found a thing.
I knew a guy, he'd be like, I eat a box of whatever,
Annie's mac and cheese five nights a week.
I knew a kid, that's all he ate.
Like five nights a week, he ate an Annie's mac
and cheese box.
We had mac and cheese for dinner.
Well, was it boxed mac and cheese?
No, sausage either, just mac and cheese.
That's, see, exactly.
And a fat guy goes, I'm not just gonna eat a fucking boxed mac and cheese that's see exactly and a fat guy goes
I'm not just gonna eat a fucking box mac and cheese
I'm gonna get you know a protein in there and some sides and some bread you think nerd Radek will be mad at us
I don't I hope not
That guy is weird. We're just joking around well seems like a lot of people are upset on his behalf Cecil to if there's any beef
It's on their side not on it's not coming from us. It's not coming from us
Nothing's coming from us. it's all on them.
Weren't you like breaking bread?
Well, not breaking bread, but it seemed like Cecil
was coming around or something.
I don't know, he went really aggressive
about defending Eric Jalai.
Yeah.
And then it turned out like Eric Jalai
is a huge fucking idiot.
After the Ira trailer, I mean, how do you, how can you defend that?
Well, you kinda,
kinda look retarded now.
Yeah, I mean.
And you're friends with a lot of girls,
so you're sus already.
I don't know what to tell you about that one.
I did see that he did a live stream
and there was a lot of fighting.
Oh, there was fighting?
I guess, I don't know, I can't fault,
look, that's the other thing a lot of people-
It sucks, man, it sucks to have to have to have like friends tied up with your money like I don't give a fuck who likes me
You know so it's a lot. It's a lot easier
things are a lot easier for us because we have a like a patreon you know like we don't have to worry about like
Oh every show we do has to like pop off or we won't get super chats, or I don't know all these guys like have to be
Popular I guess.
And I can come on here and say kill babies and it's fine.
Now, it wasn't fine. Because only like only like 20 people are going to pull their picture.
I could talk about that.
You're you're probably one for like two hours, but I don't want to.
I don't want to drag everyone through it.
Well, then let's not.
Anyway, my problem is fake food freakouts dick. It is your turn
Why don't you play a sound to signify the end of one problem?
I was gonna remember to do it you don't need to act like you're doing it. Yeah, but I was gonna remember
Now it looks like you deserve credit for the job
I do remember a lot of things for this show that you forget so that's good You didn't even give me a second to it looks like you deserve credit for the joke. I do remember a lot of things for this show that you forget, so that's good.
You didn't even give me a second to- it's like...
You could at least let me see it in my eyes that I wasn't gonna remember and then do it, but you just-
Hey, whatever your classic Popeye bit, why don't you do that one?
That's not the right one!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
HAHAHAHAHA!
This is horrible, this horrible segue song!
That means there's another problem! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It would help the fans if you make a sound in between it. I agree. I didn't realize it would turn into I totally
Great about which sound would be used. This is problem. I'm gonna call time vampires. Okay people that just want to like oh
Man
Okay, well to give it a second you can you can figure it out, right? No, I can't figure it out
I won't good at figuring out you know, you know, whatever. I'm not looking. Dick has to log into his Discord. Oh man, I gotta do multi-factor. Multi-factor
it. In the meantime. How many times every day do you do, do you go on multi-factor?
Only like once. What? I will remind people guys, don't forget, Superkiller ends this
month. Get in at Indiegogo. You can go to superkiller.org, check that out. We have our
new bonus episode. The biggest problem inocalypse, is live on Patreon, check that out.
Is there a tier at Superkiller where I never have to hear a sales pitch for Superkiller again?
No. I mean, the sales pitches will end when the campaign ends.
The campaign is ending, that's it.
Let me do one last push, okay?
One last push. I normally don't promote it.
You've been pushing it for a year and a half.
No, I have not.
It has not been a year and a half, okay?
When was the first time you talked about it?
I talked about that I was working on it.
I wasn't, you know.
That counts.
That's a shill.
When was that?
Okay, part of this show is that we talk about
what we're up to, and if that's something I was up to,
it's not a shilling.
It's what have you been up to?
Oh, I'm working on a very exciting project that I'm sure will go swimmingly and will not devolve into a constant hellscape
From which every time I post anything on Twitter someone goes why aren't you working on the comic?
Why are you working on the comic?
A bunch of shits got done, and I sent out orders. We got the plush toys coming in
We're getting fucking mugged dude that guy said mugged him. It means he's young so you know that's good
This is the problem. Why is this the problem time vampires? How is this a time? Oh, you're saying boogie's a time vampire
Yeah, good. Yes, I agree
Boogie I was like come on man. This is not that hard
This is not a vetoes Twitter. This is a Boogie's Twitter. Yeah, Boogie's Twitter sounds different.
Boogie's Twitter sounds like...
Boogie's really like, I mean, if you're rooting for the cancer, you might be on the winning
team for that one.
He's in a bad way.
No, someone wrote and said they have the same thing.
Yeah, but he's saying because he has so many other health problems that like for him it's
worse.
Like being mentally retarded.
And then somebody said, why don't you go fund me for your cancer?
And he says he can't do it because he's worried he'll get made fun of by Moist Critical.
Because Moist Critical made-
Moist Critical?
Yeah, that guy um...
What do you call- wait, is that his name?
Moist Critical?
I'm trying to find a boogie's Twitter sound effect.
Okay.
Boogie's Twitter.
Boogie's Twitter.
I need a deeper- i need a deeper gorilla
that's a lady doing that
these are all people trying to sound like monkeys
these are people?
that one sounded like a lady before
they better be white
i hope so
this is terrible
crickets?
you thought early morning sunrise was the one to click on?
I'm just going in a row.
You're right, it is people.
What the fuck? Hold on, hold on, hold on.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
It is people. There's definitely a bunch of people just uploading them making monkey noises.
What should I search for? Gorillas chimp-ing out.
Definitely don't search for that.
Chimp-ing out is not a thing gorilla's
Sound effect see if we're on free sound I could find you a great sound effect immediately
whoo-ing
Gorillas howling great all right wait is this gonna be royalty free? I don't it's a sound effect, so I assume so I
Don't know you can't assume well. You can you can copyright claim a sound effect. I've never run into that
Okay, let's this is on you then if there's a bunch of ads on you
There might be an ad
No, if there's a bunch of ads on our show, okay, man. No this looks too. Just play it
This looks too high quality
It's a bunch of different sounds
Boogie's Twitter. Boogie's Twitter. I forgot what I was doing.
I forgot what I was doing. Okay, so you said to Boogie, well Boogie's been talking about
he's going to kill him, well he's not going to kill himself, the cancer's going to kill
him. Yeah. And he needs money. His cancer's going to throw me right off a bridge. Who
knows what's going to happen. He needs money to pay for treatment I
Talk to him on the phone. I haven't said my treatment for my cancer is whores as it turns out look
I talked to the guy I said look. I don't have a lot of money
I can't just like you know he's telling me that nobody's gonna money
Chisel each other down
Boogie how you doing? Oh man Vito bad. I need money for my treatment. Oh man. I wish I could help
I don't have any money. Let me see those video games. You see what's happening here?
I said I would I said if like he I said if he didn't go fund me I'd throw in like 50 bucks
I can't give him too much or whatever, but yeah
I also said look it's that's too much sounds like you're trying to sell a bunch of your stuff
Yeah, and then yeah
I said this tweet because he's posting about how he's gonna die of cancer
He said take a picture of whatever video games you have and send it to me
I'm happy to give you money in return for product
I will buy your things so you can afford cancer and boogie says
Call me. I'll FaceTime the whole thing it ain't worth much because I never really collected physically
But as I keep telling you it's yours when you're ready
I don't I don't want to FaceTime just take a picture of it using the camera phone that every human being has
I don't want to get on a FaceTime.
Fucking time vampires.
Hey, so you want those video games?
Oh yeah, let me just kind of...
Let me do a 30 minute live stream about them.
Let me just sit over here.
So how you doing?
It's in the middle of the day, man.
What do you mean how am I doing?
Fucking working.
Right.
I'm trying to get this deal done so I can go do something else.
Yeah, me too. I'm trying to get a bunch of videos done.
Oh man, do you see those new magic sets coming out? The cowboys and stuff. I mean that's part of why I didn't want to do a FaceTime.
I don't have time for a big long thing. You know, you're lucky. You don't know how lucky you have it. Fucking time vampires. I get this from a lot of people when I try to buy stuff from them.
Where I go, they go, oh, you know, I gotta, you know, I'll go through it.
I'll call you up and we'll go through it like thing by thing.
I'm like, just take a picture of it and then I can see what you have and either say, yeah,
I want that or no.
Text it.
Yeah.
Oh, next time you're around, you know, we have a moment.
We have a moment.
Let me know and I'll, we can reconnect.
I'll call you up.
We can go through it. Never never It's gonna be never well
maybe I could maybe I could send you a
Recording of my voice later and you could listen to it. Why do people send?
Okay text I I go nuts because they're
Demons from hell. That's why you ever check like now
They give you the I whoever came up with this is a bad person.
Well, I'll go check my messages on Twitter and I'll see someone left me a minute long
voice message.
And I go, just type out what you want to say.
I don't want to listen to you talk about it.
What is this?
The guy, Satan had a deal.
That guy who made the, if you get a text or an email of the security code and then it
just pops up and you can press it. Did you know that they have that on do
you have that on green text? What happens? Something pops up? When you
have to when you go to a website and you have to log in and then it's like we
sent you a code in your email. It'll sometimes auto fill it from my phone.
Your phone does that? Sometimes. Okay Apple got that also you also have okay?
The guy that made that they had to make an anti version of that guy that turned the hey
What if I could just talk and instead of transcribing it would just send you the recording so you'd have to sit through and listen to it
Fascinating the dumbest people in the we focus tested it the worst people in the world that you've ever met in your life.
Them and all their friends really love this idea.
I think everything, so for me,
everything is just faster through text, right?
Yeah. Like infinitely.
Yeah, but you're the fucking caller,
you're the fucking caller supreme.
No, you never pick up.
I know.
I don't wanna talk on the phone.
I wanna have text conversations. I just call, sometimes I call with like something the phone. I want to have text conversations
I just call you sometimes I call with like something
That's like I want a quick answer like an immediate answer, and then I'm gonna hang up after two seconds
I'll give you an immediate answer over text
a hundred percent of the time
Now I find that a call gets me there quicker and sometimes I gotta explain that's not I'm not an energy vampire
Do I talk your head off? It's usually quick when when I call you I wouldn't know I don't answer those pick up the fucking phone
I will never answer a phone call ever you might enjoy phone calls with me
No, that is excellent
One of the good things about me is I'm a great phone conference
I will say that. I'm watching TV or I'm having dinner or something
Jacking off you don't know what I'm watching TV or I'm having dinner or something Jacking off you don't know what I'm doing. Do I have time to I want to interrupt all this shit to have a two-second
Call like I was calling cuz we're gonna do the bonus episode call what time see what so see what time you're available
Yeah, that's a great text all that
You could bang out and go. Oh, I gotta do this thing at 1230
A little quicker with the voice. That's a little quicker never
Never has it been better. You know when they invented the printing press
They should have gouged out everyone's vocal full folds so no one could ever talk again vocal folds chords
Yeah, I think vocal folds. I was wondering if that was correct
vocal think it is I
Think that's for that's for Murr people they have the vocal folds
Let's find out now I want to know yeah also known as vocal folds Wow
Facebook Twitter YouTube discord
mmm big time big time way big time wasters and boogie.
Well I don't understand. I'm still...
Well if you want any of my stuff when I kill myself, I guess you're just gonna have to FaceTime me.
I'll gladly walk you around my house and you can say what you want, but I guess if you're too busy for ol' Boogs. I don't know if you saw the follow up where he's like, you know, being like, well, what
exactly is it you're looking like?
And trying to make it sound like it was really reasonable that he couldn't take a picture
of it.
He's like, well, I don't even know what you're looking for, really.
I don't know what you're looking for.
You know, like, are you looking for arcade one up machines?
No, Boogie, I don't want you to ship those giant
Fucking arcade machines to me. I'm talking about like video games like what do you mean? Just take a video?
Yeah, look there you go wow
I'm obviously not trying to buy your arcade machines from California doesn't live in like the middle of I want your bathtub I want that back show me the bath. I'm gonna use it as a bomb shelter like video games
It's clearly a station I'm gonna use it as a bomb shelter like video games like clearly like a Structible then I had to let like that's the other thing is I had he's like well
You know you gotta be more specific. Oh, just take a picture. What do you mean video games?
That's what I like. That's what I collect
And I was like I don't know man Nintendo Sega PlayStation, and he's like I don't have any I'm like well
They just say you don't have any now you are
He said the only thing he has is time vampire time vampire. He led me to believe he had video games apparently
Not really always do
Sucking down your time told me I was getting a dragon statue and that was yeah
What's going on with that? I'm not getting nothing. It's giving these guys. He's leaving it to his girlfriend
Let's give me our nest. She leave
She's on
Extended leave escape from the compound. Oh, yeah, she's not extended... Leave? Escape from the compound.
Oh yeah, she's on an extended leave from Maddox too.
Hahahaha!
Wait, what? What do you mean, extended leave from the compound?
She's just like, uh, I think we talked about this where there was that crazy guy who was going to Boogie's house and fucking around.
So he's fucking her?
No, no, no. Boogie was like, uh, you should, I don't know exactly if he disgusted or whatever but it's kind of like you should leave the house? Why don't you get out of dodge
while I deal with this crazy guy? Which doesn't make any sense. It makes I mean I
would just be like sounds like something a lesbian would say yeah it doesn't it
doesn't make a lot of sense. Maybe she just wanted to visit her family but then
she doesn't come back as far as I know. These are the kind of hard-hitting questions
I'd love for them to cover on the lol cow podcast and said we have to talk about whatever keemstar is up to said they have
To not talk about keemstar's ego now
Great show justice for Connor in every chat every chat go just for Connor the biggest problem the universe is the little
From lol cow
From all right time vampires. it's a good one.
Yeah.
Feels like a problem that could have used some stats.
Oh wait, I have stats.
The average person
wastes two hours a day.
How about that?
Just hanging out?
Waste. What do you want?
Yeah, but like, is jerking off, wasting time?
Probably. The average person wastes
26 days every year a whole month
Wow, what is a waste though like doing nothing?
What do you mean TV? You're the one that wanted stats?
What is talking a book? What is it to find a way to go?
I want to waste a fucking time you didn't even have video game. I think most people aren't talking to boogies I'm wondering what that study would define a way everybody has their own a boogie, what a waste of fucking time, you didn't even have video games. Well I think most people aren't talking to boogies, I'm wondering what that study would define a waste of time as.
Everybody has their own personal boogie.
Yeah.
Whether it's...
Well mine is the actual boogie.
I don't talk to them that often.
Whether it's a bunch of garbage.
There are some guys, look I'll say there's some guys, I'm very good at cutting a phone conversation short, I think
If I'm not, someone should tell me. Yeah, you are. Okay, but some people... I'm just usually watching movies or it's late because you know She goes to bed at like 9. You're not a phone guy. I'm a phone guy. I like I like a good phone conversation
No, I don't like phone conversations. I have great phone. I watched that speed of sound movie
And I was like why doesn't he want to hear people again? Right, what was which one speed of sound drummer that goes deaf? Ah
It's like a great movie, but he's said a documentary kind of thing. No, it's like a original story
cool, I
Started trying to watch the new rebel moon and it's way worse than the last one
I think the last one was kind of goofy and fun. This is just people on a planet
It's way worse than the last one. At least the last one was kind of goofy and fun.
This is just people on a planet.
It sucks.
Alright, do you want to play a sound?
See, I did have to remind you there.
You got me! You got me! You got me!
Dick, I've got a news article somewhere here.
Is this it? Yes.
I'm gonna crank it up.
Well, this one comes out of the Sunshine State, Florida.
Where, you know, we all care about our public schools, we want our public schools to be better.
And Florida's got an idea, an idea led by Republican Governor Ron DeSantis,
who signed a bill Thursday that will allow vulnerable-
I would like everyone in public schools to get raped.
100% chance that you get raped.
Well, this is happening.
This is what you're gonna get.
And yet we'd still send their kids there.
Like, well, you know, I gotta work.
Well, Ron DeSantis has a, well now,
these districts will soon have the option
to allow voluntary religious chaplains
to counsel students in public schools.
With their cocks.
Right?
I mean, does it say that?
I mean, if you were like, I really am worried about my kid getting raped.
I can either send him to public school or I can send him to the Catholic Church.
Why don't I just combine the two of them into one rape dungeon.
You think it's harder to pretend that you're not a pedophile or that you believe in God? Which one do you think is harder to pretend?
I think not a pedophile. That's a question for those people. These kids don't have enough people barking at them
They need God also. Yeah. Oh man. How's your life? Well, I got these two fucking assholes fat assholes breathing down my neck
How'd you like two more? What do you mean? Well this old queer
That asshole's breathing down my neck. How'd you like two more? What do you mean? Well this old queer
Has this demented Jewish man that he's speaking on behalf of yeah They're gonna lecture you as well about how you shouldn't be masturbating and that have you fuck up. You're going to hell forever
It's basically child abuse, but you know whatever. It's very well. I have a choice
I do want to say this fucking consent. I
Know a lot of people give me shit on this show and they go veto I do want to say this. Where's the fucking consent?
I know a lot of people give me shit on this show and they go Vito. You know a lot of problems is like anti-religious. I want to be clear. I don't think of this as an anti-religious problem
Okay, is that we should just understand that
You don't put religion in the school because why would you trust the people that get picked by a school?
To teach your kids about religion like that's something you if you believe in religion should handle and you can pick the church
That's right
You can pick the whatever religion that's right by integrating it into a public school system funded by the government
You're asking you're gonna have a real bad time
Okay. Yeah, and let's be clear, everybody in their heads they go like,
it'll be fine because you know the Bible and God and Jesus like yeah but what do
you do when like you know the Nordic... You guys had to make up hell because
you're so bad by the way. Your own, you your own guys are this bad. Sure. And what
about when the guy who gets, you know the Islamic guy who shows up is like really
popular with the kids, you know?
And then all of a sudden your kids come back and he's like, hey, hey, Muhammad, I learned
about this Muhammad guy and he's awesome.
Shut up, bitch.
Shakwee on you.
Mr. Shafir is the coolest guy.
I went to all the different religious counselors and Mr. Shafir has a, he's got an Xbox in
there and he's got shades and he hates women.
Awesome.
I said you to shut your lips.
Shut your mouth, mom.
You're taking a big risk on the idea
that your guy in the school is going to be the best guy.
That's what annoys me about it.
I was going to say, oh great, another one
of your fucking anti-Christian problems.
But they went out of their way.
First of all, you don't force religion to just appear, precipitate.
It's like, make a law that, oh, it's gotta rain every day.
Yeah, that's not really the way it works, man.
It's kinda like a organic process.
You can't just say, hey, you know what, everybody?
I'm gonna put some God in every classroom.
That's not God you're putting in the classrooms.
All the God was there.
You just gotta say, we're not fucking around
with God anymore and see where he shows up.
Not in there now today
But the thing that pisses me off about it is that they said you can't have Satanists in there. Yes, so
This is where
Pitches and it says like no Satanist and Satanism is not serious. I have the poster here
I don't know if we can see it, where supporting Florida students were calling us.
I'll find it.
Now, Governor DeSantis wants to establish a statewide school chaplain program which will
allow volunteer chaplains to offer, and again, this is to offer counseling support.
So the idea is like a kid.
Abortions.
In school, maybe abortions, I don't know.
That's why they're doing it.
They only want to stop women, they only want to stop teenage girls from getting abortions.
They seem to think that it will somehow greatly help...
Their claim is that this will help the mental health of the students.
No.
Maybe prevent some school shootings.
Why would a trans kid go to a chaplain? That makes no sense.
Ensuring transparency. Okay.
But, again, there is... I can't believe they put this on the poster not only
Stupid you can you couldn't make this announcement with it without saying no Satanist
It has the word Satanists with the little no no
I think they should have just went full on and made like the Ghostbusters logo with like the devil. Yeah the devil
No Satanists allowed
No, Satan. Yeah
We're gonna have religious people in schools. Don't worry though. I know what you're thinking the Satan guys are gonna
Obviously the Satan guys are gonna come in that's like
By the Satan guys because we don't. That's like they're gonna make fun of us They're not allowed to make fun of us
By the Satan guys because we don't really understand the point they're making right
I don't think I don't I think they don't understand that Satan is a bad guy, right?
But then I was talking of these other guys who are like a hundred and five IQ and they said that they do understand
all I know is that
This is gonna be one of those things
where people believe.
You know, Jesus was killed by the government.
Do they not remember that?
That was, that did happen.
Jesus wasn't like, man, I wish the government
would force me in everywhere.
The Supreme Court, when the Satanists go,
hey, there's a program that lets religious leaders come to the schools,
the Supreme Court's going to go, OK.
They're going to go, we're a legally recognized religion.
They go, right?
They go, so we want to go in the schools.
And you know what the Supreme Court's going to say?
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Like, you can't just put a little banner on there.
This is no Satanist.
The Supreme Court's going to say,
do you retards realize that mortgage rates are 8%
And that the dollar has lost 30% of its spending power and you're fiddling around
imaginary friends, you know, what is that's
Morons. Well, I guess the bottom part of this is confusing because it also says governor de Santis is authorizing districts to allow patriotic
organizations on campus
Including the Big Brothers Big Sisters of America a lot of rapes there, Boy Scouts of America a lot of rapes there Boys and Girls Club of America. We had a rapist Boys and Girls Club in our town. I remember that.
What about the Rape Club?
Rape Club will be there. Yes, Little League Baseball. All these kids are fun.
If you let these organizations in that no kid is coming out of a Florida school
Without some and then of course the Navy Seals
You know when I read about how much like tribal lusting happens in youth sports. I was like oh man
That sucks
Come on, man
Anywhere you put kids a guy who wants to fuck kids is gonna be there right like it's gonna happen
We should do undercover boss, but like undercover kids.
Like have the kids wear wires and catch all the...
No, where we are the kids.
Where are the kids?
We're the undercover kids.
And then we meet the coach and we're like,
what's up man?
Yeah.
Do you think I have a juicy butt?
What do you think about that?
I'm surprised they aren't running pedos
things in the schools just get like a get like a young female cop or whatever
he looks like a little younger yeah make her like a high school growing pains
yeah what'd you talk about well let's get that guy I think I talked about my
midgets get a bunch of midgets my school had a few pedophile scandals there was
always yeah but there was always there there was one, no, that
I did. Come on. That happened to you. Sorry. No, I actually didn't have the, I remember
being kind of disappointed that all these other kids had a great story about the pedophile
teacher. I'm like, I didn't have his class. So I don't have any stories. Yeah. Cause there's
this one older teacher guy and all the kids were like, ah, there's a great prank. We play
on him. I'm like, what do you mean? What kind of, I love pranks. What kind of pranks are
going on? I goes, well, anytime all the female students in the class,
he's so fucking horned up for him
that anytime he talks to him, he goes to their desk
and he just grinds his penis against their desk.
I'm like, okay, all right.
Okay.
Okay.
And then what do you guys, what's the payout?
And they go, so what we do is we take chalk dust
from the chalkboard and we put it on the corners
of all the desks, and by the end of the class,
his pants are always stained with chalk
from violently humping the desks of the female students.
What if he just wasn't doing anything?
You know?
What if he's just like a regular guy?
And it was his kids who were retarded. Well was he did eventually get caught with child pornography so really yes
No, he was definitely a pedophile
Lala you're no like 100% he had child and they did
Really was like humping the desks in the school. This was not like a thing that we made up like huh yeah
And instead of being like hey, that that's fucked up. We should fire
it in there. We should fire that guy. Well, that's the thing. You know that that's just
going on. It's just part of the culture apparently of Catholicism. I mean, I remember back then,
I don't know why I didn't go, Oh, that hilarious teacher who's humping the students desk and
getting chalk all over. Uh, yeah. So you know, that that's going on. They want to put a bunch of crazy about I
Mean if you're religious like you just kind of have to accept that there's pedophiles everywhere like if you're one of these guys
It's like well. No actually
The public school they have way more child rape, but it's like
Teeth public schools they have access to kids eight hours a time. All the time! Yeah, of course there's more child labor.
What do you mean?
Churches only have access to kids for like an hour.
Yeah.
And the parents are there.
Like it's very, they're pedophiling at a way higher level.
A public school teacher has way more pedophile planning time.
They can do whatever they want.
Right?
Like a priest only gets to figure out his plans for like two or three hours they have
with a kid.
Yeah.
But if you're a public school teacher, you're going, So you could do whatever you want.
I know what I could do.
I could set up a series of pulleys that would knock her down.
Ah, you're not going to get an A out of it.
I can come up with all sorts of ideas.
Or a B or a C. I don't know what to tell you.
Maybe if you came in after school is over and took your shirt off,
then we could talk.
The point is, Beyond Rape, which is honestly a big problem,
is this just one of these classic things where, guys guys I know you all say I'm a team guy
And I'm voting the wrong way. Sweet baby shit. Okay. Well, but why are you?
Why is everybody telling me like oh you have no reason to be upset with Republicans when I go well clearly
This is a good example of why I don't trust Republicans. Yeah, imagine if I argued this
Okay, it would be asinine.
There's been things that Biden people do that I don't defend.
Biden?
Yeah.
Like what?
What do you call it, when he had that thing during COVID that was anti-constitutional
program that was giving businesses money.
Gun control?
I don't know.
Oh, COVID, giving businesses money?
Yeah, there were giving businesses money?
Yeah, there were like businesses that you would qualify for subsidies, like, if you
were black or female or whatever else.
Yeah, your hatred of black people and women trumps your-
That's not what that is.
My hatred of unfairness, where, I think we talked about exactly the breakdown of what
it was, right?
What is it? I don't know what you're talking about.
It was like a breakdown where it was like if your company was, you know,
minority owned, you were first in line to receive these payouts or whatever.
And then it was basically like if the payouts run out, you don't get any.
So all these white business owners were like, that's not minimal.
Sweet Baby Inc. is doing that.
Wait a minute. No, no, no, no.
How is that different?
What do you...
How is that the same?
We have jobs for minorities and women in video games.
Who does?
Every video game company.
We're not doing it.
Every video game company.
It's gonna take forever.
Do they not have jobs?
Yes.
And they want black people and women to get them first?
Right.
And then when they run out, they run out?
Right. How's that different? That's bad
Okay, sweet, baby doesn't do that they
Well, they're getting paid
They're getting paid. Are there any white diversity consultants?
There's I'm sure there's like what do you call it? There's like consulting firms for other stuff
Yeah, like tech okay. They're Indian. Oh, it may be white, but what is the might be white?
What is the there but that's like business critical you need a tech comp you need servers. There's white guys working at sweet, baby
It's not all like black women. I
Mean, come on. I mean, they're gay white guys, but they're still white guys. They're been there
You know look so diversity
Hold on hold on hold I do have to say this for everyone in the audience. The ultimate loophole has already been achieved
They're saying that like right now the current generation. It's like every single person is just saying they're queer
Cuz it's just it's just say, just say it. Just say it.
That's it.
I don't want to be, say that I'm queer.
Why?
Well, people.
Aren't we all a little queer?
That's what you want.
You want everyone to have to say that.
You want free, look, I'm just saying
as a temporary stopgap measure,
as everyone is discriminating against everyone.
Until what?
A temporary stopgap to what?
Until World War III.
Getting rid of Sweet Baby, right?
Getting rid of diversity initiatives and making them illegal, yes.
Okay. And where will we start with that?
In the government.
Uhhhh... Okay. Then where?
Who runs the government?
We need to make it, we genuinely need to make it illegal
to offer any sort of like benefit or contest or promotion
based on...
Affirmative action.
Make it illegal.
Yes.
Civil rights.
Make it illegal.
Not civil rights.
Affirmative action.
Just the...
Well, civil rights says you can't discriminate.
Right.
You can't discriminate.
You have to like...
You have to discriminate.
Well, you can discriminate on the basis of skill.
That's illegal.
No.
That's illegal according to the Civil Rights Act, yeah.
On the basis of skill.
Yeah.
What are you talking about?
If you have more, if you end up with more white people or more, you know, more whatever
race, then that's illegal.
But that's you assuming that the skilled people will be the white people
Okay
Look what are you talking about? What do you mean? What am I talking about? What are you talking about? I mean, what do we have to talk about the NBA for this conversation to be palatable?
Yeah, I mean like there's certain
Yeah, I mean like there's certain... We just have to make it so that if a qualified applicant, if a qualified applicant of color
applies for a job, they should have an equal chance of getting in as an equally qualified
white applicant.
QAOC?
I don't know what that is.
Qualified applicant of color?
QAOC.
Okay.
Like AOC herself.
What do you mean when you say we have to make sure that happens? Qualified applicant of color? Yeah. QAOC. Um, okay. Like AOC herself.
What do you mean when you say we have to make sure that happens?
Because that's the EEOC.
Yeah, that's the EEOC's job though.
They just fine everybody, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.
They just fine everybody who doesn't hire enough black people.
Well, we do need to, um, uh, scale back.
Like we gotta get rid of the Civil Rights Act then.
Right?
Except for the voting stuff.
I don't care about the voting stuff.
Here's what I would say with the Civil Rights Act is,
I think the important-
It's like a mule with a spinning wheel, you would say.
Right?
I don't know if I would-
Who knows how he got it?
Damn.
I know what you're doing.
Damn knows he doesn't know how to use it. Alright.
You gonna put Ogdenville on the map?
North Haverbrook?
You fucking idiot.
I think the bigger part of the
Civil Rights Act that's important is not denying
access to goods and services.
Like, housing. Pussy.
You should not be able to discriminate
if you have a house you shouldn't be able to say no Irish need apply.
What do you mean a house? An an apartment you're renting out an apartment or you're selling a house
Oh, yeah, like the AirBnB is where they're ripped. The Irish people are ripping the TVs off the wall
Yeah, you shouldn't be able to say can't I'm not not even got like the Irish not during a Notre Dame
Not a no Airbnb. That's different. I'm talking about like apartment rentals, you know, you gotta dole them out fairly.
Airbnb is different?
It's a little different. It's more like a hotel.
Okay, so what can I say?
I mean, sure. It all covers.
What happens if all the black people just coincidentally don't get places to live? Then what?
Well, we would have to see, you know, your records and be like, okay, well how many black people applied for these houses? Why did you deny them?
Yeah, that's that's the EEOC like you're describing everything that's wrong with no
But I'm describing it in providing goods and services not in terms of hiring
I think in terms of hiring if you genuinely believe the best thing for your business is to only hire men
Or only hire white people or whatever else
I think you have a free speech and freedom of association right to only hire people of that type. Okay. So you draw the line at... But I think if
you're like, I have a sandwich shop and a black guy comes in and you go, we don't make
sandwiches for black people, I think that should be against the law. Why? Because I
think, again, I've brought up on this show before, it will like fuck up commerce and
it will have like this ripple effect that fucks things up.
If there's a certain town-
What would it fuck up?
If there's a certain town where black people
can't live there and can't acquire goods there,
then all of a sudden-
Yeah, Detroit.
Black people can't get stuff in Detroit?
No.
Okay, I just-
It's a total shit hole.
Well, I think that's the,
I think they're having trouble acquiring things
for different reasons.
A town that says, no black people!
I've brought up this example before, but again, if you have a truck driving company, you'd
go, well, I don't want to hire black truck drivers because there's certain parts of the
country where they can't get service.
If I send them to deliver packages, like, you know, let's say you want to deliver packages
to the warehouse and the warehouse goes, oh, we don't accept, you have to send a white
delivery driver next time. Well, I'll just hire only white delivery driver
So I don't run into this in the future. Okay, that's the kind of situations
You're gonna start running into and then what would happen?
What would happen is that everyone would be living in poverty and and and there would be violence all over the place
Like it would be every society
Israel be trying to start World War three
Trucks you can't use the state of the world to say
It's just like everything is just like
Okay well then whatever just let me kill babies
Everything is this fucking retarded conversation about
black people like well you know
we have to just do this so black people
can get like oh my fucking god
yeah. I'm sorry I want black people
to be able to get a place to live what a horrible fucking
idea I got in my head. But you don't have a place to live. I'm living in an apartment. I can rent an apartment
I don't have to worry usury. You're getting you're getting fucked. Oh, you're getting fucked by a sister
I'm getting you're like we need this system so that black people don't get fucked over and I'm saying you're getting fucked by the system
Your argument is that if I allow the system to fuck over black people more what?
There's no tangible benefit to me letting the system fuck black people all right
Why do you think you're better than black people? I didn't say you think you are gonna be so fine and that black people would be worse off than you
No, I'm just you think they don't know how to play magic arena
I have basic human empathy and I can look at for aborted fetuses. Well. They're not human
Okay, I can look at if I was in the shoes of a black individual trying to get it
Woman could be a woman yeah, I can identify with a black woman
I think I could identify with the plight of women as well anyone can with basic you empathy
What can you not identify with let me ask you that what is your?
What is it? What's something that you can't do? I can't empathize with the fetus. I know that I'm incapable of that
but uh beyond that
Again, I can understand that if I was a black person or any person of color...
If there was no black people, what would you be crying about?
I mean, it would be...
Why are you arguing against this?
What would liberals be crying about if black people were just like,
we're good, we're taking his space, we got on Gonzo, when Gonzo's spaceship came,
we all got on and we're going back to Gonzo planet.
Then what would you guys cry about all day?
Maybe a black person would come back from space and we really need to have these laws set up so they don't...
I'm not crying! I'm the one saying that I enjoy the fact that we have civil rights.
You're the one crying saying we gotta get rid of them.
Because it's fucked!
What is so fucked about it?
That the government is there breathing down your neck
to make sure you're not hiring the wrong amount of race.
It's extremely racist.
Title IX, making sure that...
Again, I agree with you on the hiring.
Giving women college sports? Title IX sure again. I agree with you on the hiring. I agree on the hiring sports
Title nine is terrible. I agree with you see we agree, but those are the worst parts. I'm calling me a team guy
I agree on all this stuff
Because you're my team okay, sure I'm on your team now whatever I did big team changes all the fucking time
All right, is that is that it? No, what a great show?
Well our problems this week were fake food freakouts. Okay.
Religion in schools.
Time vampires and getting in fights over, men getting in fights over women.
Yes.
That's gonna win.
It's very possible.
That's a big one.
That's a good one. Hey, you know what?
It's not about winning, right?
I was going to say, guys, vote on all the problems at BiggestProblem.Show.
Don't forget, sign up on Patreon.com.
Biggest problem. Get yourself that bonus episode.
You know, you know, you need a little more biggest problem in your life.
Yeah. And tell your friends to subscribe to the show.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
We need subscribers.
We don't have very many.
It looks pathetic.
It looks bad.
It looks bad.
We need more than 40,000 subscribers.
Tony from Hack the Movies has more.
That's shameful.
He doesn't deserve.
I think he's buying them, honestly.
Oh, he's buying them with, you know, it's a bunch of.
Meatballs, Italian subs and meatballs.
It's these guys who, you know, it's a bunch of... Meatballs. Italian subs and meatballs.
It's these guys who, you know, these lonely,
middle-aged horror movie loving dorks,
who sit around and they go,
oh, a new movie about the assembly,
cut of us, of Alien 3?
Let me, you know, he's playing to a certain type,
and that's fine.
But we provide real content here.
We're not hacking the movies or doing the movies or whatever his fucking friends are up to okay
We're just trying to give you a little bit of fun
So please subscribe to this channel if you haven't already and check out our patreon get yourself that bonus episode
Uh-huh. That was a pretty good one biggest problem the apocalypse and some fun apocalypse related problems
Yeah, and I still need to check out that fallout show. Oh, yeah, you gotta do that
I will. Would you change any of your problems? What were your problems? From the apocalypse? Yeah. Oh, I haven't watched it yet
No from the from the bonus episode. I remember one of my problems with the bullet scavengers, bullet hiders. Yeah
My lack of my own tribe of feral wolf children to dominate the plains.
And what was my last pro-
Oh, doomsday preppers lording it over the rest of us.
Yeah.
Those smug, smug doomsday preppers.
God damn it.
Mm-hmm, mm, that's right, Vito.
I think they gotta make the hole a little bigger,
but I don't think that works.
That's what my husband said.
Yeah.
Well, Miss Piggy, you know, I think I saw a picture of you on the internet earlier.
You were in Vegas recently.
Oh, yes, you did.
I was in Vegas with a bunch of my fat pig friends.
Wow.
I wouldn't say that.
That's horrible.
What would you say, Vito? I would say, you know what, I don't talk that I that's horrible What would you say Vito? I would say you know what I don't I don't talk
Unkindly about family and family is obviously very important. Oh, yes. We're all one big family
That's true
Well, I did see I have seen your husband's channel and he seems like he takes
Kermie! My Kermie! You've seen my Kermie's channel and he seems like he takes me well you might call him
Kermie I think now miss piggy you never did math did you oh what do you think
I actually don't know if it makes you skinnier fatter? Well typically I think it results in a lack of appetite I could be wrong on that front
Lack of appetite?
Yeah
I can't do it
I think you have tears in your eyes how hard you're doing this
All right. Well that was Miss Piggy everyone. Thanks for coming by
We're gonna do some voicemails I think
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, let's yeah, yeah.
Yeah, let's hear some... I'm not looking forward to these, I tell you what.
I tried to just get the good ones, but you really pissed everyone off.
Well, I would say one of the fun things about this show is considering the idea that-
Look at this! This guy sent in a Superkiller cosplay.
Okay, I've not seen that.
Looks pretty cool.
Is he, is he...
Look at that! Superkiller! He nailed it. Yeah! Superkiller! I've not seen that Looks pretty cool ZZ
Look at that super killer. He nailed it. Yeah
super killer
he goes around the universe and
Kills a guy in the universe and then that universe explodes. You know we got a lot of cool stuff going on the trading cards
They're looking great. I know everybody thinks the tchotchkes aren't important, but I think that- They're not important.
Well, they're important to me.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha as well. So the challenge coins are gonna be oh my god it's like there's are there jacks? Are there super killer? Just pogs at this point. Well there's pogs and then the
slammer will be the the challenge coin. Okay. It's fun to make stuff. This is
this is an exciting... Except comics. Well this is an exciting challenge to me as a
designer is you know. How about I say writer?
And I'm also setting up relationships with all these suppliers so in the future, you
know, we can make more cool stuff.
Did I like not get any of the voicemails?
Well, you got those ones.
I guess not.
What the fuck?
Where's my...
All right.
I think the biggest problem in the universe is companies going after fan-made...
We definitely played that one already.
Did I fucking forget to move everything over?
I don't.
I think I might have.
HONEY!
Well, it's gotta be some of the...
WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?!
It's gotta be some we didn't play in.
Did I put...
No, I downloaded all of them, but I forgot to put them in the...
I did want to mention...
I think...
Was it on the last episode that I went off on Redbar?
I realize I may have been too hasty because I I remember that one of the things you called that guy
After the show ended you called him a loose asshole f slur definitely
Well, I want to be clear you said I remember he mentioned on one of his shows that fans of his show will fuck with
Other shows yeah by trying to convince them that he's talking shit about them. Yeah, and I thought about it. I said oh shit
Did I get got?
Did I get got like he didn't actually say anything about us?
And I just assumed he did because people were saying he did so I don't actually know
What does that matter
Well, cuz then I feel I don't know that's kind of presumptuous though cuz now you're saying that you think he would like you
Well, no, I'm not saying that I'm saying I don't wanna
I don't want to go off on a guy if the guys not actually going off on I don't want to see you going off
I'm the hell I just was like people were like, oh red bars gonna get you and I was like, oh fuck red bar
But if they're just saying that like that going on to fuck with me, I don't know. I don't know what was actually happening
Why don't you go show us what a go-off is? I don't know what I would need a reason to go off
I don't even know what I don't think he said anything now. No, I'm like, oh, I think I got
It's like it's like one of these things trolls will do they'll stir up things. They'll be like hey dick
Did you hear nerd roddick said these horrible things about you and you oh my and then you respond
He said I didn't even make enough money to feed a wife as fat as that he has.
Yeah, well.
Did he say that?
He said that about me?
I think he said that.
He said that about you.
What the fuck?
I'm outraged.
I might have got got.
I'm not sure.
No, he's probably saying that shit about you.
Well, he's definitely saying shit about Josh Denny.
I know that.
Redbar hates Josh Denny.
Yeah.
So that's why I believed it when people were saying, oh, he's making fun of you for having
Josh Denny on, because that was plausible. Yeah believed it when people were saying, oh, he's making fun of you for having Josh Denion,
because that was plausible.
Yeah.
I was like, oh, well, fuck him.
You know, how dare he go at us for having certain guests?
But what would you do if, like, he was talking shit?
I would probably talk shit as well.
You better talk it a lot harder than that, man.
Well, I'm not going to talk it until I know I got to talk it.
I'm not going to engage in a fight
if I'm the one
Starting the fight on bad information. Why who cares? Well, cuz I like a show you like red bar
I like I watch clips sometimes. What's your favorite part?
See people say they don't like soundboard, but I like it. You like his soundboard. Yeah, what's your favorite sound?
He's constant exploding with the breaking glass
Yeah, that's that's great., his soundboard is better than ours.
He's had some good ones. The one where he went off on Chrissy Mare for stealing Christmas presents is pretty classic.
Nah, you can't say that. She said she's somebody's family. You can't say that shit.
You can't talk about a woman stealing presents!
Look, Chrissy Mare, we like Chrissy Mare. But she did steal Christmas presents.
Why do you guys keep saying that?
Because she did.
OK, what do you mean steal?
Women, they don't, what do they not steal?
What are you talking about?
She went to like a holiday party, like a Christmas party,
right, or something.
And it was at like a, I think it was a restaurant or a bar.
OK.
And somebody else who had went to the restaurant or bar
had left a bag with wrapped Christmas presents
Like that they had bought for their family or they're gonna give Santa and Chrissy Mare said hey
There's a bunch of stuff in that bag take it
She I guess she's in it. I don't know but she said like she's told this story on a show
She was just a comedian
fucking around
Funny that it is a funny thing where you're like...
It's like where people call you a pedophile.
Right, but if I...
She didn't steal any real presents. What was in the presents?
I think it was clothes and trash.
It's funny. The funny part of it is that she told it, being like,
oh, this will be a funny story and everybody goes aghast.
And they're like, wait, you stole a family's Christmas?
It's like what I would do. It's like when I would say something.
That is something you would say.
Exactly. That's why I laughed. I'm like, oh, that's a classic
veto situation where I go, yeah, you know, of course I stole a family's Christmas presents.
All right, here we go. I got the voicemails. Make your own Batman. Make your own magic
the gathering. Move out of the city. You can't live with these people. Veto. That's called
running away. Where'd that voice come from? I don't know. That's called running away. Where'd that voice come from?
I don't know.
It is called running away!
Your fucking make your own shit is just running away!
That's my Batman!
I'll do whatever I want with my Batman!
I'm taking it back!
You won't take it back though.
I will!
I guess when the, you know what, when copyright runs out, yeah, go nuts.
I took back Mickey Mouse.
Well, what do you call it?
Doug Ten Apple is taking back Mickey Mouse.
Yeah.
So we're taking back everything.
I support that if the copyright is run out, go nuts.
No, we're going to take it back with, I'm pirating too.
We're going to take it back illegally.
You know what?
Honestly, I have, I've thought about things like that.
I think you could do it in a way that-
Things like what?
Just- Illegally? thought about things like that I think you could do it in a way things like like what just legally well I thought about like what if I just got a team
and we made a Batman comic we just put it out and it's just Batman well the
copyright would run out by the time it came out dick you really got me with that one.
Anyway, the biggest problem in the universe is people who don't respond to text messages
with words.
They just use emojis or those fucking reactions.
I asked somebody a question and then I get the response as so and so no emphasized a
text. I didn't even know that was a fucking thing
I don't know if it's iPhone or what but emphasize thanks for emphasizing my question now
Can you fucking answer it we had something so beautiful that worked. I don't have to answer the phone
I don't have to talk fuck you stop texting go to annoying fucking word cell
I'm very much in do you do a lot of texting?
I only text all day.
But who do you text?
The lady?
Are you serious?
Work.
People.
Johnny was texting me about you all day.
Johnny the audio engineer?
Yeah.
What is he working on?
Audio.
For who?
You?
Fucking Kendrick Lamar. I don't know. What do you okay? Well, you should you text work people but you texting John and Johnny
I listed aside. Okay, so Johnny's not one of the work people. That's where I got hung up
You know, I'm actually getting sick of hearing you fucking sit on the fence that fucking fence post is so far up your fat ass, dude.
Like, get talking about boogie and you're like,
well, you know, I still wanna be friends with boogie
because like, you know, it's not a lot of subs, right?
You know, in the back of your fucking head,
that's why it is.
You know, you're not doing like scraping money
off a fucking boogie.
Fucking fat loser.
Fuck you.
That's fucking right. Fuck boogie, dude. You's nothing I can get out of boogie. Fuck you. No, no.
That's fucking right.
Fuck boogie, dude.
You have no reason to associate with that fucking retard.
Holy shit!
Why, I'm like, it's not that big a deal.
And you're sitting here going like, you know, it would be sad if he killed himself.
No fucking would be, bro.
Wow.
Use this, dude.
I'm not, hold on.
How happy would you be if boogie killed himself?
I have, well, I gotta clarify something.
Anyone thinking I'm sucking clout from boogie is retarded.
Have you seen his channel? He gets no fucking views.
You're sucking, uh, um,
Magic cards.
Magic cards in video games.
Sure, but now I know he doesn't have video games.
He's gonna give them all to me despite everyone.
Well, maybe he should.
I'll burn them all.
I look at boogie, look, I look at boogie and I go, well that's me.
There's me in 15 years. Alright, there's me in 15 years So if I save him someone else will save me
There's no saving you guys. I know I'm the next Maddox. I've said it before I look at Maddox
I go one of these days. I'm just gonna fuck it all up
That's the card game that you that we were arguing about
That was big-time Maddox vibes
Biggest problem card game well, I think you could do it either way
So I brought up today you want to talk about the card game. Not really now. What do you mean?
We're gonna talk about it at some point. My problem is
unexpected bone
Be best friends real onions and chicken and you want to devour it
Yes, you want to devour it. Yesito knows what I'm talking about. Yes. You just wanna devour it. Yes.
And the chicken has bone in it.
No!
It's not boneless chicken.
They don't say bone in chicken, they just say chicken.
Fucking bones, man.
What was my China problem
where they leave the bones and everything?
Oh, they do?
Chinese food.
To slow you down?
Authentic Chinese food.
If you're an anti-bone guy,
Fuck that shit.
Vote it up, authentic Chinese food.
All right, something with Shinji a dick a veto
Hi Brian in Texas there was a chatter that compared veto to Shinji from Ava. Yes, I think
a veto is actually even like worse than Shinji because veto would embrace the human instrumentality project
Hey that would embrace the human instrumentality project? What's that?
Dick, if you have not seen Ava,
I don't think you know how big of a burn on Vito
that comparison is.
It's not a big burn, really.
That's what somebody got put in their side.
And Vito, if you tried making an Ava movie,
you would fuck it up,
because you obviously do not get it.
No, I understand Ava on a far deeper level
than most of you people.
Explain it in seven words to me
the ultimate
good I
Want to start over
Blue it you fucking blew it well the theme the theme is
Well that was implied with the question.
Yeah, life is worth living.
Four words.
No matter what.
No, that was seven. I got three.
That's the theme of Evangelion?
The theme of Evangelion is what if you tortured a 14 year old kid endlessly?
With psychological robots and mind games?
What's up with you guys and torturing kids?
Who's you guys?
You and Yellow Flash.
Yellow Flash has all those,
Yellow Flash has always talked about that comic
where they rape a bunch of kids.
You're talking about space guys?
I wanna torture him with his dad's really mean to him.
Oh boy.
You know what?
There's an episode of Evangelion where Shinji's outside and there's a truck, right?
And they load this thing on the truck
and he's trying to ratchet strap it in place.
Okay, I'm listening.
And Gendo is just going,
Who's Gendo?
Gendo's his dad and he's going,
what the fuck are you doing?
What are you doing?
Are you serious? You got them all twisted up.
Yeah, it's like episode eight.
What the fuck?
Japanese have this problem too?
Yeah. Problem? Sorry. He's like, come eight what the fuck Japanese have this problem to yeah, and he's a problem. Sorry. He's a
He's like come on. We gotta get this on that we got to get to the robots
Gotta get all this we gotta get this fucking do Bob to the robots. Let's go strap it down
He keeps fucking around he's like it's loose. It's still loose
Yeah, that's bad teaching now. That's the whole episode. That's bad teaching 20 minutes
Our parents didn't have that concept of bad teaching. Yeah
No, it's a you you as someone who while you have a great relationship with your dad
It seems like you probably couldn't identify with a Shinji type character
Yeah, metalocalypse when they're all talking about how that much they hate their dads and Nathan explosion goes. I love my dad
We went to go-karting last week and it shows him his dad go-karting. I was like yeah, that's me
It's pretty good
You're never gonna watch Evangelion, huh?
I don't know man
Is it on like streaming or something?
It's on Netflix
Do I gotta watch a bunch of kids doing stuff?
No one has any tits cuz they're all 14, right?
Misato's got, you get tits from the lady
mmm the the the
And she has a she has a teenage boy living with her. I
Don't like that. There's some in there's some uncomfortable innuendo there
Pedophile yeah
People call if I was a teenager I would like that
Well, I will say yeah, it might have been something that's better experience at a young age
I think the audacity of even Gillian is what I appreciate that they made an entire
cartoon show about endlessly
Psychologically torturing these teenagers and then they go you want to buy like some fun toys of them dressed up
And do you want do you want want like sexy anime figures where their clothes
are getting ripped off and you're like no that seems wildly inappropriate given the
themes of the series. You got a girl naked in a tub like crying because her mom's dead
and they're like yeah you want to figure of her getting her clothes ripped off. I don't
want to see this shit. I like my 600 pound life, hoarders You know there's a lot of levels to Evangelion. That's what I like the audacity
Watch right you know what watch my review me and Tony no no no
Shit just watch the review. It's a funny review. I can't take Tony's smug face
Poor Tony that's horrible
Every time I see Tony talking about anything I just want to fucking grab his face.
Nah, he's great.
He's a great entertainer.
We did two reviews.
We did an Evangelion review and then we did Face Off.
Why don't you open your eyes, Tony?
Why don't you open those goddamn eyes?
I think the Face Off review is actually better though.
I did enjoy our Face Off review.
All right.
There you go, Hack the Movies free plug.
Hey, Dick.
Hey, Vito.
Hey. Review It's not a really like original topic either so you know what?
Fucking not people who actually like put the time in are mutants now. Super Sam is fucking retarded. You're retarded. Ha ha ha ha ha!
Look, if you're a Pokemon fan and you play Pokemon fan games,
nothing you say matters to me at all.
It does not.
I've seen what makes you cheer.
That's it.
OK, so what if you're a Rick and Morty fan?
Eh, Rick and Mortys are right.
If you are legitimately spending your time playing people's
fucking stupid Pokemon fan games.
Why they're fun? What's your problem with things being fun?
Playing Knock Off Batman is not as fun.
Kids don't go around going like, oh check me out, I'm fucking Stats Man.
They're like, no I'm Batman, Superman.
And then a lawyer comes over and goes, hey you can't be doing that.
And then you pop in and go, the lawyer's actually right.
You should be being Hornhead Man.
Yeah, everybody hates Homelander and Omni Man
and all these obvious Superman spent.
Those are for adults.
I thought our audience was full of adults.
Was this a show for fucking six-year-olds?
Yeah, OK.
If you're six years old, play all the Pokemon fan games
you want.
Those are satirical takes on those things.
Grow the fuck up and play something real. And there should be a satirical take on those things. Grow the fuck up and play something real.
And there should be a satirical take on Pokemon.
And I think there is, and I think it's that Power World game, which is kind of fun.
Play that.
That is a huge rip-off.
Yeah, which is good.
Do rip-offs.
Rip things off.
But if you're going on your computer and you're like, I hope that Metroid fan game doesn't
get taken down by Nintendo. You know how many Castlevania clones? Okay, hold on. There's a great example
There's a new game coming out called like the something adventure of Simon Quest and it just is Castlevania. It looks fucking great
Yeah
So just that looks awesome
And they didn't have to go like oh, we're gonna make a Castlevania fan game
They just made a Castlevania game and they called it something else and it looks awesome yeah and the best thing
about that is that it can't get taken down by the company you'll never have to
worry about that you might even spawn a new and exciting franchise there's a lot
of stuff shovel knight it's just kind of like DuckTales or whatever but they
didn't make a DuckTales game they just made shovel knightvel Knight. Yeah, because you jump on the pogo thing.
That's too hard.
Shovel Knight? I like Shovel Knight. I haven't played it in a long time, but I liked it.
I'm trying to find the Super Chats.
Well, we'll find them eventually.
Here, do your mouse.
I'll do my mouse. Guys, get your Super Chats in, because we're going to read them.
Don't forget to vote on all the problems that have biggest problem that's show.
And thank- that's the website
Shoutout deleting that that's terrible. It's not good. What do you mean? I know cool
I also want to thank all our members don't forget memberships are active if anyone gifted memberships
Well, we deeply appreciate it. Even though I don't know who you are or have any way to track you. It's a secret society
Yeah, the memberships the magical magical N-Word society.
I gotta look up the one guy who's in the Mac Club.
Of us?
I feel like that guy...
No, he doesn't want to be known.
He's a mysterious man.
Alright, one guy joined the $50 a month Mac Club, which gets you the official benefit of
you're in the Mac Club.
The second guy who joins it can kill that first guy.
We deeply... And both of those guys combined will weigh less than Nerd-Roddick's wife.
Isn't that amazing?
That's an amazing stance.
Thank you for joining our mad club.
Let's do it.
Coo for two.
Thanks for not killing yourselves.
Haz-Man for two.
My name is Vito.
Hear me squeal.
Haz-Man for five.
There's a pig named Vito.
His manners so low.
He was quite rude.
Oh, what a blow.
He squealed and grunted with disdain, making all the show's fans complain.
Jacob Cercia for 800 yen, if we get the Internet Reactions Podcast to $100 per month on BackBuy,
I will send Vito a brand new bottle of shampoo from Japan.
Not happening.
Hazmat for five, if Yellow Flash won't fight Vito, I will.
And Vito, stop sticking your tongue out when you laugh, it's disgusting.
Are you gonna fight Yellow Flash?
Is he coming to LA Comic Con? yellow flash is he coming to LA Comic Con
He says he's coming like are you gonna fight him?
you're gonna run into the
Convention and fist fight him. I don't think I can fight him in the convention hall. You can do whatever you want I can do whatever I want
If I get it clear the comic comes I get it cleared with the convention guys
Are you willing to run in and fist fight
him you can get by surprise I can
don't know what we what don't worry the convention I said we can commit assault
they said it it's not assault you sign a thing when you when you have a booth or whatever that you can do whatever you want it doesn't matter
If I can get it cleared with the convention that you can run in and surprise by
Surprise fight is that what we're calling a little surprise
Okay, you're always naysaying everything if I get it cleared. Are you willing to run in and coldcock him?
I've you can yeah, if you can figure out the mechanism for which our surprise fight can take place. I'm happy to okay
Probably gonna be surrounded by little children here was here's okay. Should I float this here was my idea is
We find a venue.
Hot dog eating contest.
It's not, it was not my idea, but that sounds safe. It's not a bad idea.
Why don't I-
You have to take his mask off and Eric Shalai's cock out of his throat.
I wanted to see if we could find a venue and then we just set up the fight and he either shows up or he doesn't.
If he doesn't show up, we just hang out, have a party.
It's harder to set up a venue than it is to ask for forgiveness
Well sure, I guess we could just do it in an alleyway somewhere
Yeah, if he doesn't show up. I have just the alleyway. We can all just drink in the alley and talk shit and that would be fun too
So maybe we'll set up a fun fightin' alley. And the loser gets a guy to
fart cum in their mouth. All right
You know you got a lot of ideas, and I think you should keep writing them down because
I'm sure somewhere in there is going to be-
He's not going to- we got to sandbag him.
We got to surprise him.
Maybe we could trick him into attending a redo of Healer fan meetup.
We got to get a bunch of guys-
I feel like announcing our plans on here is going to make all of them not come to fruition.
No, no, no, no.
The best plan is the one that you know about because then you're freaked out about it constantly. That's the best plan is the one where you're
like the telltale heart. We got to get a bunch of guys that look like you and dress them
up like you all walking around, all walking around yellow flush all day. See? If we did
a Marshall Mathers MTV Movie Awards situation where we get 20 Veto looking guys
And they're all moving erratically!
And they're all wearing Superkiller t-shirts and Superkiller hats and he keeps going, something's
going on here man.
What's going on?
I don't like this.
Like he's walking by my booth every five minutes.
And Cecil's like, I don't know what you're talking about.
Flash, I don't know what you're talking about.
I think we gotta make-
I just see a bunch of wieners like usual.
Look.
Hold on, I see the Cecil sign in the air.
There's a fat woman getting made fun of somewhere.
Yellow Flash has made this very complicated.
His official statement was, I'm not going to fight Vito.
Because he's going to get laid out, that's why.
You're going to come in, one punch, boom, and knock his whole head off.
And then he goes, but I'll fight him at the convention and I go well, oh
Okay, so he's got clearance
Right, but then that just ends with me getting arrested for assault
Nah, he's asking for it. Oh
Okay, I'm sure that
You don't understand we've been having an internet feud and he said I could come to the convention
They don't care, they don't care about us all
I don't know exactly what they care about
He's made it very complicated
Let's just put it that way
Cause he's a pussy
Well, that does seem to be my takeaway from it
It would be much easier if he said
Well, Vito, of course, as a gentleman of my word
and having challenged you to a physical altercation,
I accept your terms, and the fact
that you're willing to go out and find a venue for this scrap
to take place is a very noble of you.
He's cheating on his wife while he's here.
Is he married?
I can't imagine.
Does anyone know?
Now, he's kind of a secretive guy.
Oh.
All we know is he has some sort of mystical ninja powers,
which he keeps contained beneath his headband.
In his COVID mask? keeps contained beneath his headband
In his COVID mask?
If you take his headband off there's a third eye that only beats off to
The penis eye
to pictures of animated children
That's his pedophile eye
If you take that out
His pet eye
Yeah, exactly
We'll see what happens. I don't know
He's a pie dough
Don't let him get away with this though. Don't let him get away with
Well, I said he can come to the convention.
I'll go fight him.
And commit a crime.
I don't know why he didn't do,
oh, okay, Yellow Flash,
that's how you're gonna try and get out of this.
You fucking pussy ass F slur piece of shit.
They're all bitches.
All these guys are fucking bitches.
I got something in store for Yellow Flash.
Maybe we'll have it ready for the next episode.
Getting shanked?
That's the ticket.
Moonmilk for 10. Hey Dick, how much money to play clips of Anthony Kumia bragging about Me Too and Girls?
I tried to ask Vito but he didn't say what show.
Also your merch is A-OK. I was just sensitive that day.
Oh, just talking about her tits.
I don't really want to sit around.
I'll be jealous if I have to listen to Anthony Cumea talking about me too.
It's gonna be related to a problem.
We're not just gonna randomly play video clips.
I'm anti me too though.
If the problem was old comedians
who really dislike black people,
then yeah, we could probably. That's you.
I love black people.
I just, you know. What about your Santa standup
that you did on our bonus episode?
Just like black, black, black.
Oh my God. It's not just black, black, black. Oh my God.
It's not just black.
Most of your comedy is anti-black people.
Santa likes some black people.
Some.
Some.
It's not even a joke.
No black elves though,
cause I'd turn around and half the toys
are just off the shelves.
Santa had to start locking up the shampoo.
You think they could sh- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HAHAHA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA At a certain point you go, you gotta say something. I mean, come on. The only black comic writer I know has made like three comics
in the time it took you to make one, so I was lazy.
Well, Eric Shaw is not writing them.
He's paying other people.
It doesn't matter.
He's putting them out.
He's putting product in hands.
He's nailing it.
Hazmed for two, how much money to be a guest on the show?
$1,000.
No.
No, nothing.
Nothing, okay.
Vito's comic artist for two, Canadian.
Hey, Vito, I need two more weeks off of drawing this, okay?
You got it. You got it. And for five, Canadian. Since Vito won't give the super killer release date,
I will. At the rate I'm drawing, December 20, 27, it shocks me. I haven't been fired yet.
Well. Two pig icons that he had. Lane steal for five. Vito, please play Fallout New Vegas. You won't be disappointed.
I've heard very good things, but
those games are really like a lot of talking to people. can't deal with these games are like constantly dialogue dialogue dialogue
Part of the problem is that it's all voice acted and I again
I'm a very text guy or I just want to skip through all of it
But I feel weird because I'm cutting people off mid-sentence. Why do you feel worried about interrupting a computer?
No, it's not that I like feel bad for the computer, it's that it feels like it sounds like it sounds crazy. It's like a disjointed experience. It
feels like I'm okay not immersed in the world. It feels like you're less immersed
in the world if it's somebody's giving a speech like well I really need to the
other day I saw it and that's where the crystal is hidden you know because you
keep advancing through their dialogue. I wish I could just turn their dialogue
off entirely yeah and just be text interfacing with them.
We're talking about a video game or the real world?
I think it would be great.
The real world as well.
The real world would be great.
How's it made for two?
No Vito, don't play Fallout, you're gay enough.
Influence history for 10, making-
Yeah man, that would be, if I had to go back again,
you gotta find a girl who's deaf.
Yeah.
That's the sweet spot, man.
Cause then-
They're just gonna wanna- Yeah, and you can just do anything back at them cause it's all sweet spot man. Cause then uh... They're just gonna wanna...
Yeah, and you can just do anything back at them cause it's all made up anyway.
Yeah, oh yeah, wow.
Influence history for ten, making female custodes was 100% DEI incentivized.
There are already shitloads of female representation of Warhammer and they had no reason to be retconned into the custodes fashion.
Warhammer is gone. Whoa
Well, what can you do smash your toys smash those little Warhammer guys
well, I saw a suggestion that it's because Amazon wants to make a
Warhammer TV show you saw him 4chan. What do you mean suggestion?
You saw like a screenshot of 4chan. Yeah, so I guess that's not really worth taking at face value. But it does make more sense, because Amazon does have, see here's the thing, Amazon does
have like those obvious diversity initiatives.
And that's the kind of evidence that I believe in.
When a company says we want to make all the shows X amount of women, I go yeah, that's
bad.
Okay, I agree with that.
What do you mean the company?
You mean the government and every bank on earth?
All right, we're not doing this turkey stuff. What do you? Yeah, what bank does it? You're right
Why do you say you're right? You're okay. So Amazon does
Yeah on some level. Okay, so then what company doesn't on some level? Jesus Christ
The teamsmanship
You got it out of your system no
What company doesn't then Domino's pizza, it's all whites
Turkey's hold on let's go look at domino's. I'm just fucking no. I'm just joking
It was a do they or not throw a joke. I don't know they want black people eating their pizza or not probably
Okay
Probably yes is the everyone wants by who doesn't want black people's their pizza or not? Probably. Hm. Okay.
Probably.
Yes is the answer.
Everyone wants black people.
Who doesn't want black people's money?
What is this?
What is this goal post?
I don't know.
What are you proving with that?
I don't know.
Were you in a pizza commercial?
Was there a black guy in that one?
Well, none of them want black people's money.
Were you looking around?
They just want to shove it around.
They just want to put a bunch of black people in everything.
We're selling black people pizza now?
Tiddle-ate white women and white liberals.
I think all these people are going to be like, oh, I'm going to be a black person.
I'm going to be a black person.
I'm going to be a black person. I'm going to be a black person. I'm going to be a black person. I'm going to be're looking around around They just want to put a bunch of black people in everything. We're selling black people pizza now
And white living I think all these companies just advertise everybody they make Telemundo ads full of Mexican people
Don't fucking it. Don't think you know anything about Telemundo. I do know I know they have
Mexican-language ads for half this shit
And they make a whole I think that's gonna make a whole movie trying to convince you guys that a Mexican janitor made flaming hot
Cheetos cuz you guys go well. This is real Mexican food here
You know a Mexican janitor invented it even though that's complete bullshit story
Yeah, dumb fucking I think gardener people I think you see an ad and you think you're an expert
I think that's what ads are for that's why white people love them so much white men you see an ad and you think I know this
But you have no fucking idea what you're talking about
That guy that emailed in that that game developer who emailed and said I'm right basically on everything okay, and you said
Well, he could be just making it up
Well, he didn't make he didn't make any specific
Claims Client be fired. Okay. What do you mean? Okay, obviously I'm saying like
The whole point of being like well, I would like to know what's happening. What is fire? What is something you witnessed?
No, I'm not gonna fire. He said he he delineated everything that he's seen
Like the gradual perversion of their management structure.
Yeah, but I see all, okay.
Consultants coming in and if you're not enthusiastic
about race swapping DEI shit, then that's bad.
But I think, again, we were talking about this
on the bonus episode, I think that that existed
irregardless of ESG scores and investing.
It's just like, all these-
They came at the same time.
Maybe, but a lot of these companies all got taken over
by like liberal fucking weirdos.
Including banks.
How is a bank not a company?
What?
How is a bank not a company?
What am I saying a bank's not a company?
I'm not saying that.
Well I said, yeah, including banks.
Yeah.
Okay, I thought you said, I said-
They're taken over by a liberal weirdos.
Sure, I misunderstood.
I thought you were saying the banks were taking over the companies.
Well they are doing that too.
Sure, which is a different topic though.
You're saying the banks are being taken over.
Oh really?
It's slightly different.
It's just whatever.
I got a little confused by your phrase.
Okay, what has not been taken over by a liberal weirdos? The government. Really, it's slightly different. It's just whatever. I got a little confused by your phrase.
What has not been taken over by liberal weirdos?
The government.
Yes or no?
Has been taken over by liberal weirdos?
Say yes or say, yeah, take over or no, straight to Auschwitz.
Which one is it gonna be?
I'd say mostly taken over.
It's not that weird.
They're less weird. The government's not that weird? They're less weird than like the video game companies. There was a trans woman taking her top off at the White House.
Was it taken over or not? Why is there guys swimming in women's
college sports? Is that a government thing or not? Sure I'll say yeah the
Title IX and all that. Sure. banks, has that been taken over by liberal weirdos?
Probably, yeah.
Okay, entertainment companies, media companies.
Absolutely.
Yeah, okay, tech companies.
Yep, yep, there's a lot of that in there.
Okay, what's left?
I was just saying that the takeover
was not due to ESG funding.
The takeover-
So the banks that are doing the funding
are not incentivizing anyone else to take-
Isn't the only thing that-
How do you think takeovers work?
You tell us.
I don't wanna do this today.
Tell us, how do takeovers work?
How do takeovers work?
How do takeovers work?
Yeah, yeah.
Like a hostile takeover company?
Pretend you're a big fat somebody's wife.
How you gonna take over that buffet?
Well, if you're trying to take over a comedy, you try to acquire
The most you know shares voting shares and board seats and whatever else. Okay. Hmm. How you gonna do that?
Well, you got to say you own a newspaper. How you gonna make sure your buddies?
Take over you could instruct your newspaper to do very, what do you call it?
Yellow journals? Puff pieces. Yeah, puff pieces. Negative. Hit pieces.
Or hit pieces. Sure, you can go either way with it. Yeah. And then what?
I don't know, this is your example. What do you mean and then what?
Well how do you say it's not, they're all taken over. Okay, yet. It's nobody's fault
It's the fault of the activist liberals and the people who allowed them to take positions of power
Which and they're in they're in power in every industry. They're in power because
The the primary driving force of the modern-day like liberal mindset is this Satan?
Is to like liberal mindset is this. Satan. Is equity.
They're obsessed with equity.
They want every person on Earth to have the exact same thing.
Africa.
The only way to have everything you have.
The only way to measure it is to go, well, we looked at a company
and every black people should be earning the exact same amount of money
as white people.
And men should be earning the exact same amount of money.
Who's analyzing it?
Who's analyzing it? Who's analyzing it?
As women, who's analyzing the metrics?
Yeah, what's someone's job that they would have
to be analyzing these metrics that you're talking about?
What position would they be in?
You're talking about like a diversity officer?
What industry would they be in
if they were analyzing the metrics of a business?
I don't know, tell me.
A bank.
Well, not just a bank, it can be internal metrics that they're looking at.
To appeal to whom?
To appeal to their beliefs that they want.
To appeal to their beliefs? That doesn't make any fucking sense.
It does make sense, they genuinely-
Who would they be doing analytics for?
Why would they be analyzing their own diversity?
Who would that be to appeal to?
They can appeal to?
They could appeal to whom?
Themselves.
Themselves?
Yes, absolutely.
Why?
What would be the end game of that?
That they genuinely believe that that's what they want.
They want a diverse workbook.
For what end?
Because to their belief in promoting equity.
They believe it like a religion.
They don't need a bank to reward them with dollars to do it.
And what if a bank did?
Then that would be help- that would be great, right?
They'd be into it, yeah.
If only they had someone at the bank who believed like they did.
But the point is that it-
Do they or not?
They don't need that to do it. They would do it anyway.
Do they or have it or not?
On some level.
Only the highest and every other level under that.
Are those the some levels that you're talking about
Where are the conservatives which bank is the most conservative which which big US bank is
The quote the most conservative. I don't know none of them. Okay, and what okay?
Which bank is financing Sam Hyde?
None of them, I guess.
Which bank is funding independent media? None.
Well, I don't know. Peter Thiel?
You're going off on a lot of tangents.
The point I was trying- Not really.
Okay, the point I'm trying to make is that the culture was not born from DEI investment, okay?
That culture existed prior to DEI
investment will exist after it. What do you think they think? That DEI
investing sprang up and then every other industry was poisoned as a result of
that? Who's they? What the people that you think you're smarter than? What do
they think? I think they think that they are able to draw these very wild conclusions about like minutiae
which are not, okay, so like a perfect example is that the new Pokemon fucking figures look terrible
if you sign up for the Pokemon game and you try to make a character it looks terrible
No feminine features at all
Okay
Yeah, woke shit
Sure
DEI
Okay
Consultants, yeah And would you say that they're doing that because they're worried about their ESG score?
Partially, yeah.
Okay, I disagree.
Okay.
That's it.
Do you think they're doing it for, to make it more appealing?
I think that-
You think having a character with giant tits is less appealing than some amorphous blob?
I think that their belief was that they wanted to expand the character avatars so that people
could make, you know, fat people and whatever else, because again, they are a bunch of liberals
and they believe in it.
Yeah, you can make a big fatty now.
I don't think you could make a big fat guy before.
So they wanted to expand that out, but the person in charge of, you know, the art directing
is bad at their job and made a lot of compromises to achieve their goal
of allowing people to make fatties.
So they hired someone who's bad at their job?
Yes.
Why would they do that?
Because a lot of, especially in America,
it seems like a lot of modelers and whatever are just terrible.
Funny that so many of them seem terrible.
Yeah, well we're able to crank out amorphous, asexual blobs.
I find that the standards-
That crazy?
In Japan they're not like that.
Isn't that weird?
Yes, I find-
It's all hypersexualized and good.
Have you looked at like most products that come out of Japan
and you've noticed how there's like an extreme attention
to detail and quality?
And then if you look at most products
that come out of America and they look like-
It's DEI horse shit.
There are people-
No, it's not DEI.
It's people who are incompetent, who are hired because of their race and because of their ideology.
That's why they suck. That's the crux of wokeism.
There's a lot of white guys who make really ugly shit.
It's not just DEI stuff.
I've seen a lot of white artists, okay? White male artists who are gung-ho 100%.
Eric Chalani would be a good example. He's not white.
But he's a reason why woke shit sucks is because you hire
Minorities who don't deserve the job and they can't execute
I'm not talking. That's why they can't model because they fucking suck. They got hired because they're saying oh, yeah, I love
Yeah, trans shit and whatever,
minorities, whatever, yeah, sign me up.
You're hired!
It's possible, and that's a much better argument.
It's a much better argument to say-
That's so condescending.
That's a much better argument.
It's not condescending.
I'm telling you, you're right,
because you weren't making the prior argument.
The prior argument is that the artist purposefully set out
to make people ugly because it satisfies the ESG agenda.
No, they were hired to make it ugly. I think that's a bad summary. They were hired to make it ugly because it satisfies the ESG agenda. No, they were hired to make it ugly.
I think that's a bad summary.
They were hired to make it ugly.
I don't agree with that.
Ugly is subjective.
Hired because they're ESG shit is not subjective.
You can't make beautiful things when you're poisoned with woke shit.
I think if you're saying that they're hiring the wrong people for the job like they're not hiring the best modeler they can
Because they're focusing on achieving some sort of hiring metrics. I think that's a good theory
I think the theory that in order to obtain black rock dollars
They're making Pokemon ugly is a very bad and stupid theory when you phrase it to be as stupid as possible
It is that's what they're theory. When you phrase it to be as stupid as possible, it is.
That's what they're saying!
They're saying it because they gotta get the idea across.
You know why the models look terrible?
It's because by making them ugly,
BlackRock will reward them with ESG points
because it makes trans people feel better.
Yeah, hey, why are women cops?
Why do we have women cops?
Because they're very good at their jobs.
Explain it without joking.
Why do we have women cops?
Why do we have women cops? Why are women cops do we gotta- Why do we have women cops?
Why are women cops?
Why?
Cause some women wanna be cops.
We allow them to be cops.
What do you mean?
There's no kind of like DEI initiative.
There's no kind of, it's just like everyone said like,
yeah, let's have women cops.
Sure.
That'd be great.
There wasn't like 10 years of,
yeah, this is actually amazing.
They could do anything.
Look.
Especially the fat ones. We gotta get the fattest, blackest women around. Give could do anything. Look. Especially the fat ones. We gotta get
the fattest, blackest women around. Give her a gun. I think it's fine to have women in
law enforcement. Welcome back to the 90s. Okay, not all women. Okay, but none of them.
Women in law enforcement? Sure. If you have a woman's present, I can understand wanting
female guards and female administrators and whatever else. I think that makes sense, right?
No.
Okay, well then you're causing a rape buffet. I don't want that.
Put a bunch of male guards in a woman's prison, you get a big ol' rape buffet.
Yeah, yeah.
Alright? So there's some places where you've got to...
Alright, fine.
Tergi, thank you. See, we found some common ground.
No, I disagree, but I don't care anymore.
Okay, I really don't think they're making Pokemon ugly. For DEI, yeah.
There's a bunch of woke hires.
You could say because of who they hired, sure.
Yeah, they hired a bunch of fucking freaks.
But saying that the person went in there and they said,
I gotta make these ugly,
because it'll make Blackrock happy.
Yes. That's silly.
Liberals make ugly art.
They make things ugly.
Lots of liberals have made good looking stuff. No, they are ugly inside, so they make ugly art. They make things ugly. Lots of liberals have made good looking stuff.
No, they are ugly inside so they make ugly things.
The Matrix looks cool.
Uh, not the fourth one.
The fourth one's very anti-heteronormativity.
Very anti-men and women.
Yeah, but the first one.
First one was great. Two men.
Two men who were, you know.
Two men. Weirdos and gay boys. Two men. Two men who were, you know, two men. Weirdos and
gay boys.
Not gay. Gay is the manliest thing you could be.
You might have a point there. Not tainted by. You might have a point there.
Turkey sandwich for $50 as a VASG penis lovers.
Oh!
Here be 50 shiny gold doubloons for Vito to waddledle the plank he thinks there'd be a fog rolling in
It is working I'm just doing it for a second
It is working. I'm just doing it for a second. I hate this show.
Hazm-
You're cramped.
Get this shit out of here.
Hazm-
It totally smells terrible.
No, it doesn't at all!
Yes it does! It doesn't smell bad at all!
I can smell it immediately.
It's bad.
It smells like normal, like fog smelling things.
No, it smells like some Chinese COVID chemical.
Hazmend for two.
Vito, if you touch the fog machine
I will touch you don't tempt me. I'll touch you synthetic shinobi for fire. I pray one day
I have as much conviction conviction as max azalea. Oh the guy who just self-immolated today. Yeah, how was that?
Fuck him
He said fud he was saying that crypto is a scam. I hope everyone that says- He said Peter Thiel made him set himself on fire.
Ah, good. I hope everyone who says crypto is a scam lights themselves on fire.
Fantastic.
I hope, actually I hope everyone lights themselves on fire.
Hazmat4Two says, Vito is Chris Giswoldi's pedo Tyler Durden.
Hazmat4Two says, in Vito's bathroom you get dirtier during the shower.
That's a good one.
Wow.
Clipiverse for 50 says oink oink from Frog Talladega the Clipiverse.
Oh yes!
Talladega!
So is Riley at...
Cody is racing!
Yeah.
Tomorrow?
Or this weekend?
I think tomorrow, yeah.
Wow.
God, that's so fucking cool.
Yeah, the car looks good.
Yeah.
So Riley's in town for Talladega.
I hope Cecil gets a booster seat so he can watch the race from this from the front row
I hope Cecil gets a booster seat so he can watch
Race from the front row and that no fat women get made fun of Cecil
During the race you fucking cue
God damn During the race you fucking cue Damn oh
My lady, I'm here
Like defend your honor. I think Cecil excuse me my lady been around women for too long
You started getting all these feelings about you know respecting their honor
Is it a word in my day for men who had too many women friends. You know what it was?
F-
HAHA
I wish I could say
Influence history for two it says Peto pissed Baldi for another two he says Veto
Do you have ADHD for another two he says went his biggest review of cuties. You gotta watch it
Yeah, well, that's not happening. Oh no for two. Probably a good movie actually. I do want to watch it
I kinda want to see it now
I don't want to watch it together
Probably a good movie actually. I do want to watch it. I kind of want to see it now. I don't want to watch it together
Well now that those girls are of age we can compare them previously to what they look like now and we can have notes
Lots of notes
We're gonna ask Mr. Girl what he thinks of the update. I don't ever want to talk to Mr. Girl about cuties!
LOLNOFOR2 says, I saw a video at Saveway, he was buying Q-tips.
Remington Trammell!
Has Null sued the Department of Justice and the US government yet?
Like he said he was gonna...
What did he say he was gonna do?
Null said he was... he had to hire the best lawyer for suing the old US of A government.
Has anyone asked him what happened to that money?
Has he said anything about it?
He said trans trans trans pedophile.
I think he just got a big old Keffles payday
and he's gotta pretend like it's not that.
I would fucking love to see that guy do some blow like Keffles.
He should engage in some drugs.
Null and Keffles should have a push-up contest.
Who could do more push-ups?
Nulls or Kevles?
Who could do more push-ups?
I don't know. There's a lot going on.
Ask Kevles. Kevles, could you do more push-ups than Null, you briny bastard?
Kevles, you dick-swuggler.
You don't follow any of the tipster stuff, do you?
No.
I kept trying to get this guy on the show and he wouldn't have.
Why?
I don't know.
Now he's just... he's falling off.
It's a whole thing.
Don't drop your sword, Captain Pedophile.
Did he like... did he like... did he like...
Did he like... Kefels or something?
He was big friends with Kefels.
He was like a Kefels booster.
He was friends with a woman.
Oh, I was on Kick or Keep on Monday.
How did you do? Terrible. Ter a woman. Oh, I was on Kick or Keep on Monday. How did you do?
Terrible.
It was a terrible episode.
Oh.
So Turkey Tom was hosting it though, wasn't he?
Yeah.
Ah, that's too bad.
So sometimes that show is like a show I can participate in because you know, like the
show is there's a topic and you talk about it.
Yeah.
I go, oh cool, a topic.
A topic.
We have a discussion. Sometimes they're just talking about being famous.
Yeah, sometimes it's we have ice Poseidon and vegan Gains on.
What the fuck is this shit?
Well, I'm gonna have to fix that.
And they're just gonna argue about who's gay or vegan Gains or ice Poseidon.
You gotta get in on it, come on, that's good stuff!
You're fucking gayer!
Look at that hair!
You look like you've sucked two cocks!
Was your barber sucking a guy when he cut that hair ice Poseidon?
If you give me a topic-
Jesus Christ!
I can talk on it, because I have an opinion on it.
I don't have an opinion on ice Poseidon, I don't have an opinion on vegan games.
Have you ever sucked ice Poseidon?
Have you ever sucked so much coke that your asshole's sore?
That's what you gotta say, it's easy!
Okay, well you should've came on, you were invited as well.
I don't like being on stream with those guys.
They're sometimes insufferable.
I'll say this, look, if you're gonna keep doing that show, I would advise whoever's gonna host, I don't know if Tom's the new host,
keep people on the subject of the show. What's the show?
If you just want a show where internet influencers all call each other F-slurs, just do that show instead.
That would be a good show.
It would be a better show than... How many times could you call them the F slurs just call do that show instead that would be a good show it would be a better show how many times could you call them the F slur
at least at least it would uh you know what you were getting into you gotta call
someone the F slur when you're playing basketball you're telling me a couple
days in advance so I can come up with something to say about ice beside now
man I know basically nothing about look at him He's easily like a and I don't even know it looks like a gamer
He looks like he said he looks like he's doing a trial run for the first ever AIDS medication, okay?
Come on. This is easy stuff. I wouldn't have landed. Oh
Couldn't get it word in edgewise
Dick paninski for 556. I don't like the Rotund fellow,
but at least he never doxed me or my friends
that introduced me to him.
Good.
Cool.
Sme4five, Vito was last week's abortion thing,
just you trying to worship
super killer sidekick baby killer.
Just wondering.
That's a good question.
That'd be a good spin.
Chris Schofield for two,
this episode is as on time as super killer.
Just one for two.
Funko Tip Vito, retro veto retro gamer veto cat rape veto
TC five veto do you regret telling dick to buy the fog machine?
I don't remember did I say to buy the fog machine said to do it. I brought it stop it
For donations that say fog and I'll do it for the number of seconds of the donation. No, no, no, no
No, I'll do it for the number of seconds of the donation. No no no no no I'll do it
Is a lot of fog
G-money god this smells terrible
G-money man pants 1492 for five good lord witcher Richard be that a whale I see in the studio with you
Dick Padinski for two oh come out you fat in
Tans oh come out you fat in tans. Oh come out you fat in tans.
Justin Roiland for five muted. G money pants for two twins.
Cypherson Sucktis for five. Thank you Vito for showing me the light love life. Inshallah.
Andrew Tarr for a big $20 on the board. I have a men are better than women signed by D with a D out of home Look at all these can't say dick now
Oh signed by dick with a dick out of context tweet in it. It's a prized possession
Can I order a signed super killer with a veto out of context tweet in it? Yeah?
Well send me a DM maybe we can figure something out just come to me come to a fan
We'll do a come to LA Comic Con where veto is gonna assault Yellow Flash behind his back and shove his teeth into a urine aisle.
Don't get us banned from Comic Con, okay?
Us? You're saying this. I'm not doing anything. I'm not saying this.
I'm a whistleblower. No one is getting assaulted. I'm a whistleblower.
No one will get assaulted at LA Comic Con, alright?
Someone's getting assaulted at LA Comic Con.
If anyone gets assaulted at LA Comic Con, it's got nothing to do with me.
Let's do the blackface guy. To any of these guys out there who go to these
comic conventions and they send these little compilations going, oh you need to cancel
these guys because they might cause trouble. Tell me I'll kill you. Okay he's saying that.
I'm not saying that. And it's a pirate saying it. It's not even him saying it. It's a different guy. I'm from 18 fucking, or 1753 in Caribbean.
Only like four years there was five revs.
Very different.
I'm from that time.
Very different.
Let's see, strategy for five.
If I had a YouTube podcast, I would
have people watching me, watching Dick, watching Vito,
watching an OJ chicken commercial in complete silence.
We got to go to that chicken restaurant.
Oh, yeah, OK. He's I'll make food videos
If I make food videos you wanna be in some food videos
No, you got to make it like a fucking Justin Wang style video, but for food I
Wanted to do a show right five dollars
No, no no see there's this great a
What is it you want to do like lifestyle? This is me. Check me. No, not really. I don't
I would I wouldn't know how to make them interesting. I don't know how you make cuz they're not about a sandwich interesting
Well, sometimes they have like those things yeti the ones where they go behind the counter and the guy goes well, you know in
1912 my dad was the first guy to figure out that you can put cheese
In 1912, my dad was the first guy to figure out that you can put cheese on a sandwich.
On your cock.
Yeah, on your cock and spread it around on a sandwich.
Oh, okay, that's interesting.
That's like filler shit though, for like E Entertainment.
That's like Art Man.
Okay, so you want deep dive looks.
Videos where it's like the $5 foot long ruined
the fast food industry and maybe the world Hi, I'm veto welcome to veto eats
Can I have my name behind me and like a fucking light grid? Yeah. Hi, I'm veto
Welcome to the welcome to the stupidest food videos in the world. I'm veto and
I'm down. I have a lot of food stalkers. I hear you talk about food
food way
Some someone did offer to go with me to the buffet and bring a lavalier Mike and Food stalkers. I just wanna hear you talk about food. Food way.
Someone did offer to go with me to the buffet
and bring a Lavalier mic and that would be-
Okay, but I wanna hear like your opinion on it.
You wanna hear like my like,
how to have a good time at the buffet.
No.
Yes.
Yes.
But like Madden style, not,
hey, I'm here at the buffet, look at me.
Don't want a video about how you-
What's the deal with napkins? Like I wanna see, hey, I'm Vito, this is what me. Um aren't aren't don't a video about how you do deal with napkins like I want to see
Pam Vito this is what you do. What's that? Here's an overhead thing
You got to go in this way these fucking Chinaman are gonna come in in here grabbing
I know here's a shit that buffet strategies with a fucking a football board. Yes. Yes, but professional not
Not, hey, hey, guys. Not that.
I need a team.
I need an editor, and I need a filming guy.
And then look, here's what it comes down to.
I'm happy to write ideas, and I'm happy to voice them,
and I'm happy to act in them.
I just don't have time for all the production stuff.
I need other guys to do it.
That's it.
Working on, I'm writing comics.
It's very important to me.
How much to get a bit of fog? Asked Cole Marklin for $10.
Is it broken now?
Great, nailed it.
10 seconds of fog for ya.
Chris Scofield for $5.
Comedian Vito, funny guy Vito, always with the boring abortion lectures.
Anyway, Vito's comic artist for $5. Super super killer keeps an n-word pass in his lunchbox
He is saving it for part two when he battles isom order a lunchbox now
I get a free n-word pass are you gonna give n-word passes out in the lunchbox? Yeah sure why not?
Well are you or not?
No, you can only select select
Maybe there's five. Oh, let's say the trading cards will have randomly. It's actually that sounds like a scam
No, that's pretty funny. Actually if I randomly inserted n-word passes and ten packs of cards
You don't know if you're gonna be one of the ones who get one, right? But I was doing like a Willy Wonka
Okay, five of them
I was doing like a Willy Wonka. Okay five of them
Okay, wait that is a good sketch like a black candy company And it's like they're like and the thing is a guy comes out he's all walking up
He's like our new chocolate bars black man chocolate, and then I don't give a shit about chocolate
But here's what's exciting
I got a golden ticket I got a golden ticket
Candy Mania is sweeping America as people across the country try to uncover one of the five golden N-word passes
Farouk I've told you over and over you don't need a pass to say the word
I say it all the time and and and and but I want the ticket daddy I want the ticket
I want the ticket, Debbie! I want the ticket! Ah, that'd be good. There's something there. I like it.
Alright, Surfers and Suck This for five. Vito, I love you. You drive me to drink. Tell us about what are a libertarian party.
It's a party of small government. Mike Jackson! Mark Jackson for five. Happy Bicycle Day, guys. Are you celebrating?
No, I'm not doing acid right now. Marcus Awulius for two pounds.
Biggest problem recipe idea, Vito's cat noodles.
Ouch.
Clipsama for five pounds,
right after Vito argued for the rights of pigs,
he goes on kick or keep and loses
to a mentally ill vegan, W. Karma.
Oh, you did?
Vegan Gains did win, but I got kicked off immediately.
I had nothing to say.
Yeah, but he's a vegan so he believes in all that shit you were saying.
Like about pigs being humans.
Yeah, he said that if his girlfriend killed a cat, he would kill his girlfriend.
Or at least be okay with her being a capital punishment or something.
I really want to fuck his girlfriend now.
After having heard all that. That's wanna fuck his girlfriend now. Okay, well.
After having heard all that.
That's my only response to that.
That whole conversation went off the rails.
I, you know what, I hate to say it.
Don't watch my Kicker Key appearance.
Do you see how fucked your side is?
I don't really, my side, come on with this.
What do you mean?
That's your team.
That's my team, I love my team.
I gotta take responsibility for like Ben Shapiro and Michael Knowles about uh
DeSantis DeSantis. Yeah, I would love to see him
That's your guy. Oh, yeah, I know
I can't say it doesn't have to be your guy. You can make him not be your guy
No, no, no, no, you're weird with this team shit. You gotta stop with this.
Because it's true. You're lying.
You're trying to gaslight people and saying that you're not.
But then you just take every team guy position.
I literally on this show
I know that they're on my team. I fucking hate them.
I gave a ton of not team guy positions.
Can you imagine any other liberal saying it's okay
to discriminate how you hire based on the
topic of race?
Or gender? Yeah, but you still want the government there to make sure you're not doing it too much
Okay, yeah, that's so what's the team the government anything yes the government anything the government doing anything yes
Sure, I'm on that team. I'll accept that yeah. I think government can exist. That's fine
What do you think about borders?
Borders? The bookstore? I hate it.
No, borders. Like the borders that the government establishes and keeps watch over.
Umm...
Well, we gotta have them.
Okay.
I mean, they're there.
Who should what?
Who should enforce them?
Umm...
Anybody. Okay. So you were just gonna go, why don't we just, so why don't you do that?
Don't they have those guys who just go and then just hang out the border and they shoot Ned Maxx and be able to
make them run back the other way?
No, they go to jail. Oh, no, but they have those guys though. Border Patrol?
There was like some guys who weren't official Border Patrol, but they were just kind of like hanging out.
No, they're, if you shoot at someone you're going to prison.
So you want to get rid of the border patrol and have it just kind of like run by guys.
What are you saying, like a libertarian utopia?
Are you asking me if I want like cops at all?
Well, would you want like, I mean private law enforcement?
How libertarian-
People with guns?
See, here's the thing is like you do this like faux libertarian schtick
I'm not faux, I don't want any laws at all
I hate all laws
All laws are worse for me
Okay
What's faux about that?
So you're just like 100% no laws?
Yeah
And kill all people
Like Babs Johnson
That's my political platform.
We're doing a goof, we're doing some shit.
I'm not goofing!
He's having fun. Yeah, okay
Fair enough clips off fair enough like you're wrong
What do you mean fair enough don't talk about the card game
We're gonna do a biggest problem card game maybe you got some great ideas your ideas And then dicks got some bad ideas for what the card game
Clips on for two pounds. I wasn't joking. I'm now pro life. Yay life. Well, there you go
Coup for five Kermit the frog here go with the frog here. I
Can't do Kermit. Thank you for not Kermit in yourself to Greenland, especially in erotic
I can't imagine being married to a cow. Moo with a cow emoji.
Who is this cow, Kermit?
Utah based Armenian for two, age of consent in Greenland is 15.
Vito should go.
At least 14 in Italy, and those are my people.
So rub for 10.
I get why Vito brought in these pig stats last week.
Everyone's calling him a fat pig recently.
By comparing the value of fetuses to pigs,
he's actually trying to say he's worth more than kids.
There you go.
Too many words for that.
Has been fatuous.
His screw super killer.
We're hyping a shit comic.
Yikes.
Cool for five.
We cull animals.
Why not people?
Vito, you'd be among the first to go
if society decided to do that.
Hey, man.
Go for it.
Yeah.
Bathroom bandit for 10, I'm convinced
Vito is secretly an undercover conservative and keeps saying the WC is imaginable. No,
no, that's what he wants you to think. No, that's what they want you to think. These
disaffected liberals, they're the worst. They're the ones that you have to turn on immediately.
Oh, I'm a liberal, I just think these guys have gone a little crazy. Pfft. Gone. Like Tim Pool.
Disaffected liberal.
Exactly.
Exactly.
His new song is real bad.
Is it?
Yeah, you wanna hear it?
Yeah, sure.
You gotta boot it up.
I was actually on EVS's stream.
I appeared on Trashcast for the first time.
A bunch of weirdos made a big deal out of it and said comics Kate is ruined forever
I'm like, can I just go on Ethan's stream and talk about Tim Poole?
No, you guys all freaking out it. I don't think that's the new one
Well, I think if you click on that it'll take you to his music channels
You probably find the most recent one, right?
It is confusing because of course the name of his band is Tim cast
Which is moronic because that's the name of a podcast, not a band.
Is this it?
No, that song's also terrible.
I don't know, maybe that was it.
God, I hope I'm alive for Tim Pool to get cancer.
Oh, wait, no, I think this is it.
Yeah, okay, so one thing you know about rock and roll
is they famously hate drugs, right?
So this is a song about a man who takes too many pills
or something, cuz pills are bad
And that I believe is the theme of the song
Let's take a look at this music video here. There's Tim Cass with eyes of advice
Do you think you're crazy
If darkness implores
It's asking you maybe
To watch for the eyes
They offer advice
One more trip
In my mind will suffice
Alright, here comes the riff, right?
Who is this ugly, dysgenic freak
In the video?
I think he's a drug addict, I think.
Who is this fucking guy?
Ah, one of Tim's weird friends or some actor
he found on Craigslist.
Why is everybody in Tim Poole's sphere so ugly?
I don't know.
How come none of them.
Maybe reflects the ugliness of their souls.
I don't know.
But they're just so mutagenic.
Like Joe Rogan's guys, they look like jocks whatever like yeah
They're like that's Rogan's guys all look like kind of like charismatic and like you know gross
But what but all of Tim Poole's guys look like they're just like not fully formed
You know they look like mutant people. Who's this rat man? Well?
I don't know, but I'm you know I'm pretty sure the catchy guitar hooks gonna kick in at some point
You imagine humming this one in the shower
I hope Hamas wins
I
Hope Hamas wins
Isn't this the kind of thing you know you have they kill me face am I
Sing along with this in the car your kids going daddy put on that new Tim cast song For me When light starts to shine One more trip outside should suffice for me
Can't you see when you're alone
When you're alone inside my fuckin' shed
You cock-suckin' motherfucker, piece of
I'm a Tim Cash piece of shit
And I don't like drugs
God man, fuck off
Fuck God
Fuck everyone who is pushing this God shit
As I said on either the show, I was like
Fuck is real
You know, if you're gonna, if you're not known as a musician
Probably the smartest you can do
What all these like power
Groups do you know when they like when Johnny Depp says I'm gonna make music
He goes he makes like some crowd pleasing like you know little little guitar riff or something awful
You don't go out and go the thing about being a man in a plan in the cage
I'm a big queer
And I'm locked to myself
And everyday's gay and the pills that I take,
and I think that I'll die if I don't.
Okay, Tim.
Come up with a little riff.
Like a little like, doodly doot, doodly doot, doot, doot, doot, doot, doot.
But instead we get that.
Which is great.
Good stuff.
Good stuff from stuff simple fucking song Tim
And every everybody who works with them and who's like on his channel like what are they just
Pretending to listen to the oh that was amazing boss
Well we had that Phil guy from it that remains Phil LaBonte on that I hope he's not on that track, but I hope he's...
Oh, that would be...
That would be sad. I hope he's in there, like, I hope, like...
He's gotta go to Tim, be like,
listen man, everyone wants to come at you.
You suck.
And you do suck. So,
we're just gonna write, like, some simple
little four chord things
that are just not...
Like, just don't do that. Just don't do that. Little four chord things that are just not who man again
Could do a bunch of like weird guitar Phil like acoustic guitar effect. Yeah. No, it sounds terrible This is not that hard to like fuck up or like to not fuck out
Just get easy with it do covers if you need to I don't know do anything. Yeah
Let's see
Former POCO. This is clip Sama for five pounds former Pokemon lawyer confirmed the journalists reporting on fan games and mods were the main perpetrator And getting them struck. Yes. There you go. So don't make them
Drunez for five if Deadpool 3 comes out before super killer. I'm going to cancel my super killer order good. Oh, okay do it
Yeah threads
He's sweating you can tell that hit him well. I mean you know you can send in a cancellation request
Keep the money, I mean if you're gonna spite cancel shady bastard. You need a good reason
Not really I mean a good reason is it didn't come out a year ago when I bought it. Well...
Deadpool 3 came out and I had no communication from the creator quote unquote.
I don't want goof cancellations, okay?
Like, like doing it as a bit.
You want goof money though.
If you're genuinely like, you know what I want to cancel fine
But it was like who he didn't come out before the Marvel movie
That's a real reason now. We'll see
Super killer now available on Indie go go you have no obligation at all to get your comic out. That's where I do
Well not before or whatever. I mean we're aiming to get it out before that
How hard are you aiming?
Pushing this guy as hard as I can man.
Push all my guys hard as I can.
My role is what? What can I do? I'm not drawing it.
I direct the guy to draw it, I direct the other guy to color it, I direct the other guy to put the letters on it.
Making things complicated, but you know like office. It's like a
Off was it office space. I'm what would you say you do here?
I don't feel that bad about where we're at like you know what I've learned a lot from the process
It's gonna go away smoother in the future
This is just what happens when you're making stuff
It's like when Elon might like when a ship crashes and everyone's like, look at how much they learned from that.
If everyone really wants me to like lose sleep over the fact that the comic book
got delayed, it's just not going to happen.
Stuff happens.
What does that even mean?
It means it like, I like, I know it's like a fun bit, like, oh my God, you know,
like, oh, Vito is probably legit mad.
Okay.
Well, you shouldn't be.
Cause you make us look stupid compared to Eric July.
Then look stupid.
Why does it, who cares what Eric July is doing?
Because we supported you and you, because of your inability to make the comic, make us look bad.
You're gonna all feel very smart. I'm gonna say that.
We already feel dumb! Eric July's lapping you, man!
Take- take- here's what you gotta do.
He's triple-lending you. Take take here's what you gotta do triple ending you gotta do you gotta stop
Worrying about this little whatever. This is this lapping this little game. It's happening
It's not gaslight us. I'm not gaslighting you
Any saying that in a year a yeah from now?
I'm still not gonna have super killer
No, you're gonna have super killer and you're gonna have more a bunch of fucking pogs. No you're gonna have more than that what?
Can't tell you I don't care. I don't care about stuff. I don't know okay
You don't have to all I'm telling you is that any year you can actually have Yira, too
He's gonna have a threesome with those whores, and you'll see what we have and you're gonna be like Cecil's gonna get
You know you're gonna say you know you're gonna say
And you're gonna be like Cecil's gonna get you know you're gonna saying you know you're gonna say
You say I shouldn't have doubted Vito. I
Should have doubted him earlier. No I'm gonna say no you're gonna say shit. This is pretty good We got a lot is what's good. We got a lot of stuff that is being worked on. What stuff what? Comics?
I want comic yes
Comic year, I want three comics a year. I think weird. I think that'll
Okay, so that's a no two and a half one more than one yeah
And not just comics. I don't want any other shit. I don't want a comic. I just want a story
You're gonna get you're gonna get a lot of I don't watch fallout and my comb
I hope a bunch of fucking pogs fall out of the TV
You're gonna get a lot of comics and you're gonna get a lot of comics
that you didn't even know you were gonna get.
Like what?
They're just gonna fall out of the sky
and hit you in the head.
Like what?
What do you mean?
Look, I can't give it away
because I can't-
Why can't you give it away?
Because I can't guarantee-
You already got 80 grand.
I can't guarantee what I'm gonna do,
but I know what I want to do.
How can you not guarantee?
You got $80,000.
Because, you know, the timelines might not line up, but all I'm gonna say is that if you're a part of the Superkiller family...
This sounds like a time shame. This sounds like bullshit.
I'm giving it all away. You're getting it all.
This is total bullshit.
It's not! It's not!
It is! It is. It's not like the Macbook.
I wish I could give it away quicker. Let's put it that way, but I will give it away quicker
Who even knows we're gonna sell it look we feel stupid that guy feels stupid. I feel stupid. We all look bad
In five years
You're gonna take your nine point eight CGC
Graded copy of super killer and you're gonna go into your local comic shop, and you're gonna go
What do I want a good story? I don't give a fuck about graded comic. Oh you have already enjoyed the greats
That's the best thing about comics. Of one comic? No no no no I mean you're gonna have the entire run
Let's be clear. Of two comics?
Of a lot of comics. How many? Five years
Twenty.
You're lying.
I'm not lying.
You are totally insane.
And you're going to go in 20 comics.
You know, if you have 20 comics in five years,
I'll eat my own dick.
Well, I don't want you to make that.
I don't want you to say that because I don't want you
to eat your own dick.
I'll eat a bunch of dog shit. I don't want you to eat dog shit. I will want you to eat your own day. I'll eat a bunch of dog shit.
I don't want you to eat dog shit.
I will.
I'll eat dog shit.
Don't worry about it.
I don't want you to.
You have 20 comics.
Okay?
So you're going to have 20 comics.
You're going to have read all the arcs.
You're going to love it.
You're going to go to the comic store and you're going to go, what can I get for these?
Nothing.
And they're going to go, would you take my car?
A key chain.
Here's the keys to my house.
No one wants, no one wants like an investment comic though.
They want just a good story.
Well, a lot of people want an investment comic.
No they don't. Nobody wants that.
You have not met-
They want a good story.
You have not met comic people.
What if you can get both? What if you can get both?
No one wants an investment! They just want a good story! Crazy! I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I You're gonna be people are gonna people are gonna go to you and they're gonna go you are you got you got a First edition copy of the original super
Signed by the creator
You and Eric July are the same guy well now because I both selling the same retarded shit
Yeah, but mine's fun and cheeky and but it's cool. No, you're not being
Cheeky about this though. You think it's like the first issue.
Yes.
That's retarded, man.
I don't care. I know it's great. It's gonna be like-
Yeah, he doesn't care either. That's why you guys are the same.
Okay, but the difference is I know that I make great stuff because I make great stuff all the time.
Yeah, but you're still saying like, oh, this is the first issue. No one gives a fuck about that.
They don't have to. I'm not telling you-
But you're saying it!
Hold on, I'm just telling you that all this like fretting about and like,
Oh, Eric Jalila is gonna have YIRA and blah blah blah, okay?
Yeah, it's embarrassing.
Okay! Yeah, you guys, I don't know why,
Don't get embarrassed on any other man's behalf, you bought a comic book.
No, it's embarrassing for me.
Okay, well you can be embarrassed.
Because I said invest in Veto and then it's like deadline, poof, so that's embarrassing for me. Okay. Well you can be I said invest in veto and then it's like deadline
Whoo, so that's embarrassing for me. We're not look there's I am that's not now we I
From what I know, okay
If you look at the realm of indie comics we have nothing to be embarrassed about
Okay, there's a lot of creators who are way more late than I'm going to be okay, okay
I'm embarrassed you can be embarrassed way, but let's be clear
I you know there's guys who are bigger than me raised way more money than me and
Who are you calling out right now?
Well, I don't want to call them out specifically cuz I mean everyone knows you're calling out
I don't know why you're bringing other people into this
No, they don't know I'm calling out because there's multiple guys not just one guy Hitler
I'm thinking of two guys in particular, okay?
And then I'm thinking about you guys in particular. I'm thinking of another one guy
Pencils this one I call inks look the world of Indie comics has a lot of delays
I get it we want to be the exception of the rule and we me and my team
The slowest people in the world we're not the slowest people in the world in fact
We have a very good process going. It sounds like a shit process.
No, it only sounds like a shit process.
There's no updates, it's just very glib every time it comes up.
What do you want? You want an exact number of pages.
Yeah.
Okay, 40.
Okay.
Out of 65.
Oof, that's a lot.
Well, the other pages are in various states of completion, so we're rounding out the final 25 pages.
Okay, well, I'm glad I got some answers, finally, for the consumer.
Okay.
40 pages are done?
Yeah, are done.
Okay.
The rest are in various stages of completion
that we're putting through the rarer.
I'm not happy about it, but you know.
If that's what it is.
It is what it is.
And I'll say, here's the thing.
I'm not telling you that you have to get excited now.
I'm telling you that in my head, anybody kvetching right now.
Antisemitic, OK.
A little antisemitic.
I know that in a
year's time they're gonna go, I should have trust... you know what? I wasn't happy
but now I'm happy. That's where I want to get to. That's what I know we're gonna
get to. Okay. I want to get from, well I wasn't happy about the delay but now
that it's in my hands along with the next five issues and whatever else, now I'm a happy
boy.
Okay.
Alright?
Alright.
I don't know if- Better get going.
Why you gotta- Gotta get going.
You always gotta add a little something on top of it.
Because it's been a long time!
People are asking!
It's been a long time and it's been hard to lock certain people down, but now I have more
people working on it. Making connections making more whatever everything's great
We're gonna we're gonna bring we're gonna be the Japanese comic industry of America and that's
That's bullshit real. It is a bullshit because uh
The problem is that some artists are very fast and some are not but we're gonna find all the fast ones
We're gonna give them cushy jobs
Okay, berserk 850 for five you know problem reminds me of Maddox's female genital mutilation problem
Oh now mine was more fun Vito Corleone the oinky oinky for five says this shit is like cheech and chong if chong was
plus-sized more than cheech who was also plus sized.
Ah.
That's funny.
Vito Corleone, the oinky oinky for two,
says I was respectful until you tried to milk me.
Okay. Okay.
Steve for two, Vito, we can't push you around,
you're too heavy.
That's a good one.
Candid Black for 10, make a letter box
to my neckbearded friend.
I don't watch anything, I have nothing to talk about.
I just work.
Coup for five, weight discrimination should be ramped up.
Everyone needs to lose 20 pounds.
Two socks calzini for two Canadian.
Vito is only taller when he's turned on his side.
I dem potency for five Australian.
The voted up song was made with Suno AI.
Don't credit that guy unless you want to get flooded with AI music.
Oh.
Did not sound like AI.
If it doesn't sound like it, it's fine.
Yeah, cool for two, fat white women
are the most protected class.
Milo Stinkopolis for two pounds,
how fast would Vito get?
Got in an upcoming World War III.
Nah, I'd do good.
Nathan Efrat for five, I'm 30 minutes late to the stream
because I just had sex, what did I miss?
Busta Rhymes, nothing.
Busta Rhymes, 50,000 Indian dollars.
Furries and Nazis, the last true punk counterculture is immune to corporal marketing. Yeah, I agree.
Nazis are indeed the... I've said that theory before, that I think a lot of young people
gravitate towards Nazism because it's impossible to market towards it. It's like the actual only counterculture that could ever exist is that it's just so
abhorrent. Even punk rock, you know, punk rock was like, yeah, we're outside the
mainstream. And then, you know, fucking Johnny Rotten was advertising butter.
And you're like, shit, I guess we're not outside the mainstream.
The only thing truly outside the mainstream is being really racist.
And then you can be sure that you are not part of the mainstream.
Vito Corleone for two, Rick is correct, but he's also a chonk.
Plus for five, where's my family?
Says that's Gary impersonating Harrison Ford.
Where's my family?
Hogarth did Dane for five.
Mr. Erotic should have just posted another picture of Miss Piggy and
said you should have found a more flattering picture of me.
A lot of ways to play into it.
Coo for two says, my lady, tip hat with a pig emoji.
My lady.
Vito Corleone for five, Vito thought he was going to abort his granddaughter,
but it was just too much beef and broccoli.
Love Rockets Bowl for five, Vito clicked deleting my comments.
I did not delete your comments.
What comments did I delete?
Everyone's still getting these comments deleted.
The clips suck.
You don't need to add context and gay edits to clip just rip and repost like everyone else. I
Don't
make
The clips if you don't know I don't care cuz I didn't make them
That's it. Everybody thinks that I'm making the clips and they're like, oh videos
Deleting my comments cuz I mattered his clip. I didn't make it. I'm deleting that guy's comment
Yeah, go nuts the squid for ten his wife is so fat that Ben Kenobi said that's no moon
That's your fat wife. Yeah, is that before or after dick made that joke cool for five Gary such a Star Wars fan
Whatever he rides his wife. He screams now
Star Wars fan, whatever, he rides his wife, he screams, now this is- Now this is POG RACING!
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Now this is POG RACING!
Job with a slut! Yeah!
Boom boom boom boom boom!
Call me Luke Skywalker!
Call me Luke Skywalker!
And then she's like, you're Lick Skywalker!
And you gotta go like, ah you dumb bitch, that isn't exactly what I asked and you had to make it-
She made it dumb.
Poor you fucking idiot. We're gonna have another four-hour show by the way because we got like a million super chats to burn through just letting
You know the gentleman sausage of 10 the difference is Mark Hamill's five-year-old granddaughter is a public figure because she's two degrees of separation from
Hollywood and nerd Rockets nerd Roddick's field hockey wife is a stunning and brave woman there. You know what field was that?
The field of panjia all the continents stuck together you fat bitch
crimsle for five I've feely any chance someone could send me a bride she must
be okay with a stay-at-home husband I can't work and do all the cooking and
cleaning thanks hook crimsle up guys shit blaster 6900 for two says happy having happy
halving having halving having halving right having okay bitcoins cut in half
just E bond for five Australian thumbnail idea for this episode dick
gasping at a picture of nerd Roddick's wife behind a pick of Vito.
I was gonna say, it would make my life as a thumbnail guy a lot easier if we pick our
thumbnail expressions at once.
So let's- yeah, hold on, I gotta look at Nerd-Roddick's fat wife.
Ha! Om, om, om, om.
Alright, there, I could probably use that. You know what else is funny?
That Kara bitch, that one that he hired,
that's like, uh,
Elon's little whore,
um,
she just put Nerdradix's wife in there
so she would look less fat.
A lot of people don't know this,
I'm getting drunk so I'm gonna spill the beans.
Let me pull this here.
Kara Creates. Kara Creates.
Kara Creates, that's your name?
That is Eric July's social media woman who says she does not go for drama.
Leviathan.
Kara Creates.
While working for Eric July and allowing Elon Musk to start a lawsuit on her.
So the reason why women, you gotta understand, women are...
Any word you say is correct. Satan's...
Children.
After-birth.
Diarrhea.
Satan's placenta.
The reason that Kara is posting these pictures is because she looks skinny next to the blonde one.
That's why she's posting aggressively so many pictures.
She wants to show that she has clout here with nerd-rotic,
but she can't use the Chinese one.
So she's gotta include this one so she doesn't look so fat.
Because Kara is...
This is 100% accurate.
Kara.
And then you have these two homosexuals up here.
I don't know what's going on there.
But I do know...
What?
I just think it's funny that these people think...
Like...
They think I'm the bad guy.
I know.
They're the ones being big and fat and putting fat ladies in front of everybody so they don't have to be fat.
Everybody wants-
So they can feel less fat.
Everybody wants to be a shock jock and hang out with the shock jocks until the other shock jocks make fun of them
and then they go, oh this isn't fun anymore.
And it's like, well, what do you mean my wife is fat?
What do you-
Hahahaha!
You gotta pick. What do you mean?
Pick what you want, okay?
If you're gonna- if you're gonna be hanging out with a bunch of assholes jack-offs, it's possible
the other assholes jack-offs will call you a fat whore.
What's up dude?
Fuck Brie Larson, she made a movie.
Man, your wife's fat.
What?
What?
What?
Hey, hey, you can't say that about my friend's wife.
You know what, a lot of people just-
She agreed to not eat me.
Look somebody said- That's Cec Cecil the lollipop
You know is what I'm doing right? Thank you cuz he's so short
Right like the midgets in the movie
Yeah, get a roll with the punch. I don't say I don't say midgets
I say Cecil people right because of the Cecil people Cecil people in the movie
We represent the Cecil guild the Cecil guild the Cecil people in the movie. We represent the Cecil Guild!
The Cecil Guild! The Cecil Guild!
Do I look tougher if I...if I wear sunglasses?
Yeah, I'm cool. I'm cool.
All those little Cecils running around.
I'm the coolest guy in all of comics.
Check out my comic book.
Hey, Eric, hey, Eric.
Hey, man, you can't make fun of someone's wife like that.
Ah, that's just good comedy.
That's just fun for everybody.
OK, you're man Martian for five.
Tonight's stinger in the old intro are AI music.
Hey, watch your knees, man. I'm John Henry
The music making man, oh your man Martian is upset that we're playing AI music well send in your fucking music
Shut up your man. Everyone hates your theme song. Is this the opener? Yeah, it's great
Everyone loves it. Psycho crush. You said I hate this song yesterday. Look I just we should we should swap the intros around I like
Just joking your man Martian. I appreciate the effort put into it
Yeah, and it's like a Tim Pool situation where I go. Give me a riff. No, I like it now
I'm like dude it that that is the problem with this theme song. It just starts like birder dirt
I need a through line psycho crusher 69 for $20
Narcotic losing his mind over a fat joke or did his mcu drug make him too thin-skinned either way
He'd stay away from Mark Hamill's granddaughter with his creepy behavior
It's the mcu. It's the m huge bitch you it's the m fat bitch
M class nuance
It's an M class planet over there talk about M. She you it's an M class universe
Over there you got there you made it work
Hey, you can't say your first attempt was saying was MCU more like Em she's a fat fucking bitch.
More like.
I'm like well I mean it works it's not too clever but.
MCU more like.
MCU.
Can I get another round of shrimp at the buffet?
MCU more like Em she it that's a huge bitch.
Hey hey hey hey. That's a huge bitch! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey!
You can't say that!
You can't say that about my friend's wife!
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
You can't say that!
I'm kickstarting leg extensions over here!
Hey!
You know I'm friends with Star Wars girls?
Did you know that?
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them.
I went to Hollywood with them. I went to Hollywood with them. I went to Hollywood with them. Cecil. Well, you're all trying to cut it down.
You know I'm friends with Star Wars girls.
That's true.
Did you know that?
I went to her wedding and stuff.
You did.
Yeah, that's have you ever been to a-
Did you ever stay at the kids table at the wedding?
Hey, what the fuck?
I bet you want to know that, but you know you pedophile.
I did.
I got accidentally put at the kids table well just because I couldn't serve myself at the buffet
Choking on one of the real pieces chicken they had to give you nuggets for your tiny little
And I threw my big lollipop down and I said it though. Cecil. My big lollipop.
Cecil Gild will not stand for this.
Ha ha ha.
If someone wants to draw Cecil as a little tiny guy
with a big lollipop.
We represent Eric July's guild.
Eric July's guild.
Eric July's guild.
I would appreciate that.
That image tickles me in a way.
You can't make fun of someone's wife like that.
I know Cecil, I'm sorry. We'll try to tone it down. We'll try to be more reasonable.
Tone it down? What is that some kind of a joke about my height?
No, no, no, no, of course not.
Okay.
I don't want to be short with you. I just gotta move on with the...
Oh, what the...
Oh, yeah, hold on.
What the hell? What the hell?
Alright, alright, alright, alright. Just look, you know, you're alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright making fun of fat women again, I would never go get my biggest
ladder.
And now, now, well, I'm going to try and be the bigger man here and we'll just move in
along.
Let's see on the John for five Canadian untouchable.
If anything, that lady's too touchable.
She's so fat. I can't help but touch her. It's honestly a violation of my personal space. See I say this to people where they're like I should feud with Dick and Vito and I go okay just you might if you wanted less fat jokes about your wife. I didn't do anything sure I was minding my own business
Brits man for two. I'm veto and I stand with supreme Ayatollah
Khomeini there you go Jagar for two dick you and veto need to take down FNT and G&G
I think they're taking themselves down by being snowflake bitches black crimson for five
Broad man, I disavow all fat women. That's as you should.
You wake me up in the middle of the night.
So I disavow fat women.
Disavow, what do you want?
Black crimson, thanks for the snacks.
Thanks for not killing yourselves.
Absolutely.
Eat the apple for 10.
I saw Vito's now on fool's notice.
Oh my God.
What the fuck is it with all these bespeckled slobs?
It's nice to see Dick apologize to Redbar.
I hope he ditches these Denny's soon.
And then in parentheses he mentions a Vito is a dark-haired phenotype of a Denny.
And then he's got a little guy with a mustache and glasses. Very cool.
Well the Redbar... As soon as Josh Denny's stand-up is done, I'm out. Yeah. Done. Done with it.
That's Monday by the way. Tickets are still available. Go to Twitter.com slash Josh Denny.
After Monday, I'm totally out.
And I'm gonna tank his standup.
I'm gonna dress up like Santa and do a bunch of black gems.
That would be good.
Well, now that I am on fool's notice.
I'm just gonna do jokes about fat women.
And I'm gonna make them all up on the spot.
Well.
I'm like Garry Kasparov.
Good luck.
I'm making fun of fat women.
I think you... I don't need luck. I'm the Carrie Casper of me
Gary Casper of your go-to in that scenario
Out of chess pros Casper, uh, not Bobby Fisher like that would be
Not that good. You're not that good. No Fisher was the best
I think they did a, I saw an article recently that they, AI analyzed a bunch of chess pros
and they said Bobby Fischer was the best one based on his, how he plays.
AI'd his nets.
How about that?
There you go.
There you go.
Vito Corleone for five says, is Vito's problem really that he's not supposed to eat Silly
Putty?
That's correct.
Cody Titus for two, he can't just, he just can't help bringing food problems.
Yeah, but they're good, man.
You gotta embrace it.
Thank you.
You gotta embrace it.
Geeks for two, another food problem from Vito.
Hey, if I'm gonna get super chats
every time I bring in food problems, you can get more.
You're good at it though, man.
Food problems.
They're good problems.
Problems for two.
Except for some people's wives gotta eat
three or four times.
They're a little too much.
How much they should.
I think they went to Vegas and she said,
where's the buffet?
They got how many buffets here?
Get some room service there
Crumples for two fucking idiots had to do is just ignore it
I know it would have gone nowhere and it and instead we got an entire show out of it.
So fucking stupid.
Crumples for two. Social ineptitude is not a valid argument.
Strategy for two. You gotta do it good V.
Thanks guys.
Vito Corleone for five. McDonald's Vito Hamburger Vito always
Easting 10 year old hamburgers.
You fucked up Vito Corleone.
Nice try. A very sad cat for five.
You look stupid.
Got surgery two months ago so I haven't kept up with either podcast.
What did I miss? Is Maddox still regarded? What about evil skin? Evil skin Maddox.
Oh man, I got it. I don't know about that terminology.
So Maddox made a big deal. I did a bonus episode where he watched his chapter on me and my girlfriend.
Yeah.
And Maddox tries to say that we started dating I have always said like three years
You know and Maddox tries to say it's a year and a half and he gives it after they broke up
Yeah, and he gives a timeline. Yeah, he also says he doesn't care, but he gives a timeline of it right and I have an email
That totally blows his timeline out of the water
But it doesn't matter cuz cause he lies about everything.
Like everything, you have-
VW, VW, VW, VW.
Yeah.
I have an email written by Maddox,
and it's a very embarrassing email.
And I don't wanna read it.
Is it him saying that he's broken up?
It's not, oof, way worse than that.
Oh my.
But it blows his, and it's not to me, and it's not to her.
And it really blows his timeline, but I have to read it. This was sent to you then? No. How did
you? It was sent to someone else. Well but I'm saying. I hacked it illegally. You hacked
it. I hacked it and got and acquired it. Yes. With crimes. Cyber crimes. Of the worst kind.
And it's oh it's. Salacious. It's bad. It's not sal- it's... it's... very embarrassing.
Beyond salacious.
Beyond salacious, yeah.
Wow.
Timeline destroyed.
That's all I'm saying.
That's all I'm gonna say now.
You're saying the timeline is destroyed.
If I...
If I reversed the timeline, would it still be destroyed?
Yeah, cause... yes.
If I plotted it on a graph.
Yes, cause it's the same time.
No, but it's going-
Amount of time.
But it's going backwards.
Still the- I don't think you understand it.
Do you think I went too far? Can we make a backwards graph sure it we need that we need a graph
I don't know what the graph is. Let's have a backwards graph of Neurodrahtic's wife eating.
I'm slimming down!
Oh, look she only made that many calories in 2019, therefore...
Let's have a backwards graph of Kara creates not posting pictures of other people's wives
to make herself look skinnier.
Yeah. Let's have a backwards graph of Nerd-erotic not talking shit about a six-year-old girl
and her grandfather trying to...
Hey, you know your dad who's famous? You know your grandfather's famous that I wish I was related to?
He wanted to abort you.
He wanted to abort you.
He wanted to...
Bro, she's fucking five, man.
You gotta relax, you fucking asshole.
It's not good.
Wow.
Clipsama for two pounds, make a food channel, oh my god.
Maybe I will.
CIN for five, when is JLP coming on as a guest?
I wanna see how many times Dick gives him a high five.
I love JLP.
It's gotta be a hard guy to get, he's a busy guy.
Cool for two, go to Hackamania, Vito, you cheapo.
Buy me a hotel room and I will.
Utah based Armenian for two,
the ultimate taboo is Netanyahu's obese wife.
I didn't realize that, but it makes sense. Just a bond for five Australian.
That's Australian right? A-U-D? Yeah. Okay. So junk food is fine but stay away from seafood and
fruit juice. Got it. Well you gotta eat a normal amount of fish. You can't eat too much fish.
Yeah okay. Cool for two. Fake food scares are a problem except for fish.
Salty Seal for twenty.
Glasses and mustache, man.
Says only large ocean fish like shark, tuna, and swordfish have higher levels of mercury.
Most fish is completely fine to eat every day.
You cocksucker.
Okay, but like when people are eating salmon.
Okay, but tuna is like one of the most popular fucking fish.
I think salmon there's still a problem, but I don't know, it might be less. You're doing food folk, fake food hoaxes.
Look, I said when I said it that I don't know exactly what it is, but there's certain fish.
You never know anything.
There's different mercury.
You're just filling me with terror.
Hold on, there's different mercury levels in different fish, but tuna is one of the ones
you have to worry about.
You can't eat tuna all the fucking time. They tell you that.
Most fish is completely fine to eat every day. Also, almost every fat person I've met is an adventurous eater. They just eat shit.
All right. Judd Bronson for 2 Canadian. Can't wait till you can actually read again fatty.
What the fuck does that mean?
Churro Doug for 5. Tired of ads on the show, become a member, stop being a poor person.
Stop being poor.
Two socks count as zini for five Canadian. I kind of agree with Vito about the baby thing.
What about menstrual cycles? Save the period, women will not stop, it may not be the same, but it is.
That's not the same at all.
I think I get what he's saying.
Well, miscarriages are rough. I mean, they're not the same, but it's not like you're saying where it's nothing.
You know what? I'm just gonna move along. Just say yes. Yes. Sucks. Sucks. Maxwell 21 for $17 video
It's ya boy Prime! I think you're mad funny, but that Santa bit from the bonus episode was really bad.
I'm cringing just thinking about it.
Not at all. He's doing a TVF and he almost got me. Yeah, but it's still bad. It's not that bad. I'm cringing just thinking about it. Not at all. He's doing a TVF and he almost got me.
Yeah, but it's still bad.
It's not that bad.
I think it would be funny if I did say that.
That bit sucked.
It would be funny.
It would be funny because of how stupid it is.
Yeah, you gotta come up with some better jokes though.
Well yeah, because I mean, I just floated around
for two seconds in my head.
I didn't start writing it.
Yeah.
Kufir2, what's worth,
guys, if you wanna hear my great Santa Claus joke ideas.
Yeah.
The biggest problem in the apocalypse bonus episode now on Patreon.
You know you need it.
Please sign up.
We need to get that Patreon up.
Coofer2, what's worse, Time Vampires or Time Ghosts?
Time Vampires.
Time Ghosts are the worst.
No, I don't like the vampires.
Two socks, calzini for 10 Canadian.
Why is it that when LA based comedian Sean the Audio
Engineer misses an episode of the Dick Show
to farm extra ass on his ass farm,
Masterson refuses to admit it's because he keeps eating it all.
God damn the ass questions.
Bring Sean on.
We've got to get to episode 200.
Every 100 episodes you get Sean.
Yeah.
ShitLibs10 says, I eat shit.
Chad Crow for 10.
You know, it's not a joke. I used to not care, but your argument is forcing me to be pro-life. OK, I eat shit. Chad Crowe for 10. Veto, it's not a joke.
I used to not care, but your argument
is forcing me to be pro-life.
OK, that's fine.
Go nuts.
Me too, kind of.
Like, I was like, man, this is what's out there?
Like, guys that believe, like, Veto?
Oh, fuck it.
Make the laws.
If I had to choose between, you know what?
I'm not even going to go down that road.
UtahBaserMeeting for two.
I'm for kids getting Scientology audits in school.
I mean, Scientology is a recognized religion, right?
It must be.
Yeah.
In other countries, the only reason other countries
don't get like Scientologists and all that shit
is because they've designated them as a cult.
But in America, you can't really do that.
Well, you could just remove all religious protections.
Yeah, but then you'd have to tax them.
That'd be great.
Yeah, well, every Republican would lose the votes because they didn't defend the tax-exempt status of church is good enough
Pineapple man for five the commentators are totally right every time veto talks about Christianity. I get a little more devout
I might become a monk before super killers out do it diamond G for 555 says
Please play the vetoes cat is lost forever stinger. I
Forgot where it was. Well, you gotta pay $10 for that. Junk food king for five.
Hearing Vito deny the sweet baby stuff,
I sent a song called Vito the team guy.
Maybe that could be Vito's new team's theme song.
Well, maybe we'll play that.
I don't know if Vito got, or if Dick got that or not.
So, for the suck dis for two,
it says we are gonna make it, love life in Shalom.
JJ for 10 says when kids and religious families
are troubled, where do their parents take them?
Right to the priest for private counseling.
None of the internet Christians will even acknowledge the risk.
Pineapple Man for two, shout out to my king bag of Schmidt. INTP power. Yolanda Finkelstein
for five, ironically the satanic temple is registered as a Christian church. Makes sense
to me. Well yeah, that's where Satan's from. The devil. Yeah. So Terjury for five, imagine
if Solari showed up to stop one of Yaira's two foot fights, but he had white chalk on his crotch. Nobody wants that Vito and Tic. No one wants that.
We don't have time for Chuck Dixon.
Imagine if Brian Solari showed up. A bunch of cum squirts out of his ass. Nobody wants
that Vito.
Junk food king for five, anybody who feels the need to brag about having empathy as being
performative empathy does not need to be declared. I don't think I was declaring it.
Koof for five, how do we preserve enriching historic cultural areas like Chinatown and
Harlem when the government says it's illegal to discriminate based on race?
Yeah, good question.
How can Koof and I save Harlem if the government is going to call us racist?
I don't know.
We can't.
We can't.
Just Eyebond for five, Australia, does the US have enough black people to black people to reach employment Equality ratios there only one in ten better start importing hack the movies for two says what the hell fucking manufacturing jobs
We sent them all to China, so what is anybody supposed to do hack the movies two says what the hell come on guys
I said your show is good. That's a fake act that you have beady little eyes or something no
He's a big fucking face that I want to, like a big face like a bean bag.
I want to grab and fucking punch him.
I want to grab him by the cheeks and shake him.
I want to just grab him by the sides of his face.
He's got like a little chipmunk cheeks.
He's like spirited away.
Tony from Hacked to Movies is like,
his head is like that lady,
that demon lady from spirited away.
Yeah, with the big jowl.
Ah!
Like her head is her whole body.
And I'm just like, get over here, you little fucker.
I'm gonna fucking beat him!
Well, Tony, I promoted your show and I promoted my two episodes.
I did my part.
Cash for five, Vito, if you're gonna use body wash you need to get a charcoal towel.
I worked in a metal shop and get covered in grime.
It works better than soap.
I have a brush.
Clip saw for two pounds.
Let me see a picture of it.
I don't have a picture of my shower brush.
Okay, so no brush
I post a clip of tower Tony verse veto comments are mean
Towards him probably towards me bomb a gun for two fuck whales late super killer late. Hmm
Coo for five. Hey, how's the silly pants skating routine? I did it
Where I posted it to my Patreon.
Oh, a tick show.
How was it received?
Very well.
Okay.
How long's the video?
Not very long.
Where'd you do it?
Outside.
At the rink.
At the rink.
It's over before you boop, like that.
Well, that doesn't sound like,
did you tell people it was gonna be a quick thing?
No. Okay.
Well, I'll have to look into this.
I'll post it just for you.
I haven't heard about it.
Cool for five, this little piggy went to market,
this little piggy stayed home,
this little piggy cried wee wee wee on Twitter
cause she got called fat.
With a fat pig emoji.
Crazy Cat for two, Redbar watching Vito, you're finished watching veto you're finished. Oh, they're watching me right now
You're done Johnny rocket for five damn. I had no idea veto threw on a blonde wig to date nerd
Did you block him you fucking blocked him didn't you who?
Johnny rocket he said you blocked him. I don't remember maybe oh you better you're on thin ice with a lot of people
I don't remember maybe whoa you better you're on thin ice with a lot of people
Well, I mean if you got it blocked tell me it all and block you cool for two You mustn't run away veto Kuhn with a bunch of Japanese crap
So if it's a suck this for two the ratchet rap episode was episode 10 idiot
Did I say otherwise Dean shock for two? Thanks for the laugh boys Lawrence Devaney for two you mustn't run away shin
I mean veto and now let's refil-
Four hour episode? Fuck off.
Well, you know, you can you can slow down some of your uh
Some of my what?
I don't know.
It's my fault that's so long?
Stop stop bringing up sweet baby shit
Every episode you bring up that shit.
Cuz you're fucking lying and being crazy.
So just say that I'm lying and being crazy and we'll just move on from it.
It's pointless.
All right, Bomagumper for five says, I, Bomagumper eats slop and has a late comic and he's a
fat pig.
Fuck Bomagumper.
Cool for two.
Don't make fan works.
Do not know Toho.
Toho has a specific?
Document that says you can do whatever you want with these characters have fun
Okay, so yeah, if they have that go nuts. That's why Toho is cool
Do you know that? Oh, no, it's a Japanese guy made all these shooting games
He said you can use all my characters and do whatever you want with them
And I don't care and so a bunch of people did that now. It's really popular. It's actually very smart
That's what happened Sherlock Holmes. That's not what happened Sherlock Holmes
Yeah, it is. I have to corner duals that I don't give a fuck about any I hate Sherlock Holmes
Stop asking me about it. Do whatever you want
Interesting clip Samba for 2 a m2 are the Metroid fan game is the best Metroid game
I haven't played it so I first sucked this for 10 Vito is retarded for defending big companies
I bet that shitty Castlevania game would have been good if they didn't have to make their property legally distinct
I think it's probably just good anyway
It's probably better that it's not shackled to fucking the Castlevania franchise
Soul 2 XL for 2 Pokemon Clover is a fucking riot play at Vito
Dead cat for 2 says I like that cool sound
You don't gotta play it. It's not
cool
It's not. It's cool. Oh god. It's terrible.
Uh, the city boy.
It means there's another problem coming up.
For five, hey Vito what do you think about Black Rock investing in Warhammer and changing
the lore?
Yeah, what do you think about that?
Cool for two, it's great.
Vito become one punch man, JJ for five, Cecil knows yellow flash, apparently he's married
with kids.
Yellow flashes?
Wow.
Yellow flashes, married with kids and he's reading kids getting raped pornography
whoa what is wrong with this guy he does not act like a man a married man he acts like a
psychopath his wife's probably fat how fat do you think yellow flash's wife probably as fat as yellow
flash I I should waste more than me I cannot imagine if yellow flash shows up at this convention
hasn't gained like 50 pounds
I'm gonna be shocked. We're gonna be all over the convention. I'm gonna get clearance for you everybody to be all over
Just show them up. I'll send everybody a badge. You can print out. I'm excited home if he's fit
Why would he be afraid to fight me? He's not fit. That's what I'm saying. He's got to be a big fat guy now
He's smaller than you I could tell he's definitely smaller than me. he should just say you know like the bulkiness though. I'm not even saying fat like the bulkiness
Yeah, he should say you know what I realized that I am outclassed by veto in the physical realm and threatening him with violence was
A ridiculous thing that I did yeah, and if he said that I would say understood
I'm still gonna and I'm still gonna fucking you're gonna catch some of these fists, motherfucker.
Clipsama confirms Yellow Flesh is a wife and children.
A wife and children?
Oh man.
He probably bought one from Vietnam.
Carrefour for 50 says Vito's booty!
With a flag and a thing and whatever.
Frank12 for five,
Chrissy admitted to stealing and tried to hide it.
She 100% did it.
MilesWil Wilson for five.
A Fog overtakes the studio.
One, two, three, four, five.
There you go.
Warren for five.
The next bonus episode should be you two dueling
to settle the DEI argument.
Yeah, let's duel.
Johnny Rockford for two says Microsoft said
to make the female characters ugly.
Yeah, I'm sure.
No, wait, that's true.
I know.
I saw the thing.
Gruffo D for five.
Biggest problem is abortion debates.
Liv have nonsensical arguments and are too stubborn.
Conservatives argue on faith.
It's not a nonsensical argument.
Kill all the babies you want.
It doesn't matter.
Lava Lamp for five.
Dick last week.
You can't do an abortion lecture with no jokes.
Also, Dick every week.
We must have a 10 minute joke-less debate on DEI.
Yeah. Stop that. It's not debate on DEI. Yeah, stop that
It's not good for the show. It's stupid silly goose for five veto pig pig pig Justin Broderick for five
My hedgehog midnight says hi cuz she's basically the same thing as a human
I would sacrifice human lives for her, but she's dumb compared to humans. I mean there is definitely a number of human lives
I would sacrifice for my cats, but that's me Tesso for five, where's Sativa Sean to smoke up the room?
You mean you would...
Okay, nevermind.
If you said I'm gonna either kill your cat or ten random people I would say kill the
random people.
Would you have to have a cat involved for that?
Well what do you mean?
Like if someone said I'm just gonna kill random people would you say no?
I'd say no, don't do that.
Okay, but if a cat's involved you'd say well do it.
If my cat's involved I'd say don't do that. Okay, but if a cat's involved, you'd say, well, let's do it. If my cat's involved,
I'd say don't do it. Right.
What if someone said like, well, like 45 cents is involved?
Let's say, for me, I get 45 cents?
Yeah. No, don't kill 10 people for 45 cents.
It's $3. More than that.
$3.01.
Are you gonna kill a random person?
What amount of money would I be comfortable with to kill a random person?
Yeah.
Seems like a question.
Yeah.
What orders of magnitude?
$800.
$800.
If it's a random person there's odds that-
About $799.
There's good odds they might kill a bad person, right? 100% odds.
What do you mean not all people are bad?
What do you mean 100%?
How?
It might kill like a murderer.
Oh.
It might kill like a rapey guy, you know?
Who cares?
Oh, and it makes you-
At least it gives you plausible deniability later.
Whatever, okay.
When you go, yeah, I could have killed a shitty guy.
I got 800 bucks for it.
You're right, I should go lower, because there's good odds I'll kill a shitty guy got 800 bucks for it. You're right
I should go lower because you know there's good odds. I don't know why you got $800
It's so bizarre well a thousand is a little much. What about a penny?
No, too low too low. That's lower than $800. That's lower than $800. Well how strange I?
Think I could I think I could arrive at about 500 now
I've factored in negotiate you said that it's definitely like a person, then there would be more of a moral quandary, right?
Okay, good how?
Well, that would be the question is like how much information can you give me before this is no longer an exercise, you know?
Oh man, the trolley problem.
Like you said, starting a James Bond movie, I'd go, oh that narrows it down too much, you know?
You can't give too much information.
Yeah, okay.
That makes sense.
Trolley problem.
Would make for a great card game.
Another great idea for a card game would be a biggest problem card game.
I can't talk about it right now.
It's too late.
I know.
Let's see, Tesso for five, where's Sativa Shonda smoke up the room?
Graham Cass for five, we have a cyber fraud car.
I wonder if we'll ever get Nerd-Roddick's wife on a car. Anything is possible if you believe hard enough. The pig mobile. Kenny for
six, uh, ten says fog. Dick, you owe this man some fog. Agnostic Uzumaki for five.
Says I'm putting five dollars in the tickle Mr. Masterson box. I'm tired of annoying veto I want the tickle arc to start now. I'll kill you if you Jesus banda for 20 demands fog
Diamond G for another five demands a fog train
Silly goose for ten which says tickle. Mr. Masterson
Tesso for five. Well, I mean they're paying for it
I have to do that. Not you Tessa. I can't even read the shit now for five Foxford Comics
Do Wanker bar Golden Edward Pass comic a few years ago. It seems like something Fox would do god. He's so funny
Yeah, I don't know Oxford comics. I don't know if I know those I'd have to I'm sure if I saw them
I would recognize good. He's good Trio Doug for 10
I believe it's super killer will lead us to the comic promised land in shell ah David Gomez five headed veto promise to
Point five comics a year and saying five years 20 comics will be out. Does he know the math doesn't add up
He cringed at three comics a year
Ten comics here can of the Swiss for five Kara fro for two Kara spelled with a C not a K
KK Kara moderator to the stars. Shawnee's 7488
for two. I'll try and be the bigger man. Honestly, not hard. I think I did that one. Chris Tofer
for two. Mr. Masherton has boogers on his mustache. I think he just got a couple gray
hairs. Drunys for two. Says 97 days until Deadpool. The Locks for five. Plenty of time.
Baby hater Vito. Piggy piggy boy veto always with the oink tips
Geeks for two like the funniest slogan that anyone ever came up with stock tip veto and always with like that cadence
It fits it is a good cadence fucking every the baby hater veto
Tips no it's not fun libertarian veto hates the government or the dick team guy
Good because vetoes yeah, I veto always with the dick team guy is good cuz Vito's
Yeah, I veto always with the bootlegs. All right, like it's it's got them
Cuz Vito you had two syllables works too good geese for two nerd, Roddick must live by the coast or SeaWorld
No, uh Jay Walsh for 279 Canadian I figured a whale like Vito would only eat fish
J Walsh for 279 Canadian. I figured a whale like Vito would only eat fish
Hey, keep the fat jokes focused on nerd roddick's wife. Come on pick a pick a lane here
Clip summer for two comments are mean to Tony because he caused the rip a drama. Oh, yeah, that's true
Not because of his face. Well the hack the movies starts the Eric July fight is on clips on his's channel. I recommend you watch that to see how right I was.
Shani7488 for five, Australian Vito making fun of Cecil
while white knighting Miss Piggy
while he white knights Sweet Baby.
Yep, that's true.
Justin Brodick for two,
shoot em up games are the best, like,
Gradius, I do love shoot em up games.
TBF for five, Vito is the stinkiest, most repulsive B.O.
The Stach stings the nose, the only comp is Boogie bathing his own dung after eating a tub of beans.
Coup for five, I just want to drink tea with the K-ons and sake with the Toho's.
What's the game where we smash all the toys?
Vito's Booty!
Oh, the man who tweets about little boys!
Fuck you, asshole!
What's in the box you know you wanted EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEE EEEEE E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E E books That was nice. Yeah books are horrible
You want to give me a head should I not smash it?
What kind of hint do you want? I mean like am I gonna like really lose sleep if we smash it?
You got one more I want to smash it let's smash the thing. Oh wow. Wait hold on, wait why?
What is it?
You don't want to weigh yourself, you told me. No! You don't want to walk the plank.
Don't fuck around, like come on, like what is it? Why, what is it? I can't take it out.
Nah, let's smash it, let's do it. Ohhhhhhhhhh
You're fucking around, it's gonna be shit.
Oh, well. Do you have the mallet?
Ah, the mallet's right here.
You better take it.
Oh, here, I'll smash it, cause you're not gonna want to.
Wait, what is it?
Well, you have got one last chance.
Wait, what, am I really not gonna want to smash?
I don't I mean it's up to you. Are you gonna weigh yourself?
All right, I think you're I think you'll be glad that you did
Don't ever say I didn't warn you warn ye is
The scale working or is it malfunctioning like usual?
Oh no, Peter!
You've gained way too much weight!
Yeah, have a second reading.
Maybe go back in time.
A little bit.
Oh no, that's exactly the same.
Well, it was a hundred- three hundred and one point three.
Three hundred and one, alright.
You've gone up quite a bit.
Quite a bit.
Look at it, it's like a Bitcoin graph.
Yeah.
From the last one.
No, it's up.
I think you'll be happy though that you didn't smash it.
Okay.
Here you go, go ahead and get what's in there.
It's a thing of Q-tips.
That's clever.
Hahahaha
And he really nailed me there.
Classic. You know what? I do like Q-tips though, so...
I can always use more Q-tips.
So not that bad.
I can always use more.
I'm always running out.
Oh, you don't need one right now
there's no cats around here
these ears clean oh god I love cute feels look at that look at that
yeah look at that. Alright everyone. What a show.
Remind your wife to not eat. I got tricked into
Eww, God stop digging it in there like that. What are you talking about?
You're like way too penetrative. There we go.
Some wax there. What a show.
Thanks to our top supporters. Don't forget to check out the bonus episode on Patreon.
And we'll be back with more tales of fat wives and sweet babies and tiny little Cecil men.
That was all done for health.
That was all done for health.
That was all for health.
Do you think a bunch of tiny Cecil men are going to climb out and start attacking me?
The Cecil guild? Do I think the Cecil guilds I think the Cecil guilds are they gonna be dancing around?
Yellow flash at the LA Convention Center. I don't know what's going on anymore
How'd I get up to 300 well, it's probably eating it's a fluctuation oh
Yeah, it's been a lot of you know
We'll see
See what you're getting back to 310 man before you hit 3 now you hit 290 game 10 pounds at a week
It's like one of those things if you eat a lot of like a food. Yeah, what I eat today
Everything drink a bunch of beverages
It's all water weight. Oh
It's a lot of water. It's a lot of
water. Ten pounds? Well I'm proud you know what I got a plan. That's like what
is that two gallons of water? Do you drink that much water today? Well I drink
like a bunch of energy drinks and I drink this giant coffee and I drink a
Diet Coke. I don't think there was a pound in that Diet Coke. I've also been awake
since 3 a.m. and I've just been eating the whole time so
That's probably why I don't think I went through
What do you mean the scale says that you know I think that's temporary
The scale can't gain 10 pounds in a week. Oh, you can't gain 10 pounds in a week
Well, you wouldn't think so, but you could what was I at?
290.0 291 last week
Yeah, I did not gain 10 pounds of a week. You did and a lock it come the weight fluctuates too much
Fluctuates in one direction. I'll take that. I'll take a look tomorrow how I'm doing about at what?
The wait, I mean I did eat a big sandwich this week. Are you working out?
Not this week. Not any week. No, I was I was working out all the previous weeks this week. I didn't work out at all
Oh, wow, and everything really fell apart this week. Well, I'm too focused working on the comic stuff
So you can't work out anymore. I have it's hard to make time for it. What's
What's your workout? Just getting on the exercise bike for an hour
It's hard to make an hour time, and then you have to like warm up for 15 minutes. I
Guess yeah, and then then it's like that. I'm gonna take a shower cuz I get
Sweaty so it's like 30 minutes on the bike 15 minute warm-up 30 minutes on the bike 15 minute shower
No, it's an hour on the bike.
Hmm.
Do you film this?
No, I don't film it.
You gotta film it.
I think, uh...
Look, I told you this bit's gonna suck.
Okay?
The Vito's booty thing, it's stupid.
Okay?
Because at a certain point, it's just gotten to the point where I'm like, I don't know
I don't know if I'm losing weight or gaining weight. You're gaining weight
No, it's been like at the same level pretty much. This is the first week it's been like. Nah, this is the first time
You're back over 300 in a long time. Right. You're creeping back up. But I didn't gain 10 pounds in a week. It's like a bunch of fucking water weight
mmm
Like we're mostly water though
We are mostly water. So it's like mostly just weight. Well, I guess that's also the thing is like who cares
People yeah, but like just don't cuz I don't
Clearly yeah. No, I'm just gonna be fat like and if I lose weight, it'll be cool. But like I'm not you know
Thinking that hard about it.
Well, you don't have to think hard about it.
No, no, but you got to do a lot of stuff to make it happen.
And I'm too busy. I'm just doing other stuff right now.
You got to stop drinking the the the 10 calorie, the 10 calorie.
Yeah, stop drinking that. Only drink water.
Ten calories, zero calorie.
Drink water. I put cream and sugar in the coffee, but I-
You shouldn't be putting that sugar on there.
I only drink coffee here.
I don't drink coffee at home.
Do you drink sugar at home?
No.
You don't drink any sugar at home?
No.
What's in the fucking prime?
Sugar.
No, no, no, no.
How many sugars?
Zero sugars.
Zero grams of sugar.
How do you get all those carbs then?
Calories.
Total carbohydrates, three grams.
1% of your daily value of carbohydrates.
That's too much.
I mean, like the problem is eating food.
I'm eating food.
I gotta just eat like chicken breast and whatever else,
but right now, if I, you know.
Eat it raw.
If you cook it, it makes it too fattening I need look I know nobody
wants excuses but I'll just tell you what it is I need there's there's room
in my brain to handle X number of things at once the only way I can lose weight
when I lost weight when we were doing the weight loss thing yeah because I was
focused on it I mean you didn't really lose.
You got down to like 290 and then you kind of cheated the rest of the way.
Sure, but I still got down to 290 from 310.
I still lost 20 pounds.
And now you're back up at 300.
Yeah.
Because I'm not focused on it anymore.
You gotta focus.
I don't have to, I like, I can't.
You have to have a focusing journal.
Okay, so then, but then the comics gonna get delayed.
So I'm not gonna do that.
The comic's already delayed.
I'm not gonna delay the comic to focus on weight loss stuff.
You should.
The weight loss is secondary.
We need 20 comics.
You can't get to 20 comics without losing 50 pounds.
If I'm going to be, okay, to like diet and exercise
and whatever else.
Yeah.
I mean, I can just get back on OZempic
and I've been meaning to get back on OZempic
and I haven't done it.
I have it in my fridge and I'm just gonna get back on it
Nah you gotta post every time you eat something you gotta post on Twitter
No, I'm not gonna do that
Or drink something
You have to
Here's the thing about this bit is it's stupid, right?
No
Cuz you guys all have this idea in your head that like Vito's gonna lose weight or something
And I'm just not going to do it
Why not?
Cuz I get the toy regardless
You get q-tips. Yeah, I got q-tips and I got garbage and who cares
Sometimes I get garbage sometimes I get a cool toy. You gotta lose the weight though. Why?
Cuz if I that's what everyone wants I don't care but it doesn't matter what people would buy super killer if you would lose the weight
That's not true. I mean maybe it is. Yes they would all these people write and say I would buy two copies super killer if you would lose weight.
Sure, you might be right. Maybe more people would whatever but it's just not gonna happen though
I'm very like I enjoy being fat. No, no, no, no, no, no.
What do you mean?
What are you talking about?
I love food, I love eating food.
You don't enjoy being fat.
Well, I mean, yeah, I wish I could like eat endless food
and not be fat, but yeah.
It's gotta throw up.
That's what you should start doing.
Well, I don't wanna do that.
Why not?
I don't know, I just really like food.
You don't need them teeth
This week I had like a great sandwich and some empanadas
What's how big was the sandwich huge? Yeah, I had a sandwich today. I mean this week Yeah, not today, but yeah, I had a huge sandwich. I had another sandwich. That was good. What was the what was the day?
I had a donut today
Today yeah
What kind of donut?
One of those croissant donuts
How much how much to get you to write down everything you eat in a week?
I don't know come up with a number two bucks. Well not that number
Here's the thing is that like for some people watching the show or whatever, or like you guys or whatever, it's like weight is like, oh my god, you can't be fat, right?
Yeah, you can't be fat.
Yeah, you can't be fat.
But I can though.
And I am.
Not forever.
Right, I'll die.
Yeah.
Okay.
Life's not as good when you're fat though.
So I'll be like all those dead fetuses, who cares?
I'll be like Boogie, I'll die of blood cancer.
That's like a slow suicide.
Well, it's like, what, you get an extra ten years or something?
Well, thirty. And forty.
No.
But you get to do more stuff.
Not for everybody.
Well, what am I gonna do? I'm not doing anything now.
Nah, cause it's uncomfortable being fat.
George R. R. Martin's a big fat guy and he gets to make Game of Thrones.
He sucks though.
I don't like Game of Thrones. Yeah sucks though. I like Game of Thrones.
Yeah, but he sucks. As a person. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. Okay.
Seems kind of like a fun guy.
Did you try to abort his granddaughter?
No, I don't think so. We should start telling that he did.
Here's the thing, losing weight would be nice for a number of reasons.
Yeah, so do it.
But I'm not going to focus on it.
You got to.
I'm more focused on the comic and other stuff.
Just agree to do a little better.
I agree to try taking a Zympic again, because it worked.
Yeah, do that.
Okay.
Okay, that's good.
I've been avoiding it because I don't want to get sick again.
It made me really sick, but supposedly this other stuff won't make me sick
I also just don't want to put stuff in a needle and jam it into my stomach because the thought of doing that also
Makes me sick, but you kind of have to like power through maybe you could put it in like a hot dog bun
It would be cool. It was like yeah, maybe I can do that. That would be better than jamming a needle in my stomach
Anyway yeah for those of you who are why don don't you just lose- lose three pounds?
For those of you who are following the Vito's booty bit thinking it's gonna be like a fun weight loss journey
It is.
It's not. Every week I'm gonna show up. I'll probably have gained weight and
Then I'll pull something stupid out of a box and that's it
Well
And if people like that we can keep doing it forever and you can do the fog machine
You can dress up like a pirate
And that's fine
How much do you think you could lose by next week how much weight I?
Think I'll be down to like 290 again in a week in a week if I if I really wanted to but I'm not gonna push
It cuz if you put if you get down to 290 I'm gonna be I'll put something good in the box
If I get down to 290 you'll put something you have to agree to be get down to 290, I'll put something good in the box. If I get down to 290, you'll put something good in the box.
But you have to agree to get down to 290.
290... well, I don't know.
Pounds, not meters or yards or whatever.
I'll try, I'll see what I can do.
Okay, I'll see what I can do about putting something good in the box then.
Okay.
Since we're just gonna see what we can do.
We're gonna see what we can do. But, me gaining weight you should be happy about, because that means I'm working really hard on the box. Okay. Since we're just gonna see what we can do. We're gonna see what we can do. But me gaining weight you should be happy about because that means
I'm working really hard on the comic. No.
It's like wow, if he knows so folks on the comic, he doesn't have time for his own help.
And that's good. Yeah. A lot of comic stuff got done this week so I'm happy about that.
Like imagine me saying that for alcohol.
You should be happy I'm so drunk, because it means I'm like, working so hard.
Yeah, it means I'm not hitting my wife.
No.
Alright, goodbye.
Have fun!
What a great show.
Alright.
Oh, fuck, it's ten.
It was really four hours?
Yeah, dude.
Oh my god.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.