The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 631 - Dick Fellows
Episode Date: April 30, 2024Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine Dick Fellows. Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources Aura Frames - Code Dollop...
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And we are also brought to you by Airbnb.
Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends
and I, and they are old, get together and we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for
a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that.
It just always makes the experience a lot better because, you know, we're in a home.
But on the road, if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb I always go Airbnb
just because it's better.
I like a home over a hotel.
But recently I did start thinking well while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb?
And the answer is yes.
It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a little more scratch generated
from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road.
So whether you could
use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth
more than you think. Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca. I have dollop tour dates to announce
for the year 2024 of our Lord J town. We have our 10th anniversary show coming up
in Los Angeles on April 27th. Guests are Karen Kilgareff and James Adomian. And
then we are going to Australia starting on May 13th in Perth, May 16th in Sydney,
May 18th in Brisbane, May 20th in Canberra, May 22nd in Melbourne, and May 24th in
Adelaide. You can get your tickets at dolloppodcast.com.
I, that's the thing. Have you ever poked a live sound in the eye? Just like giving it a little poke.
Have you ever poked a live salmon in the eye? Like we should just do that. We should just do the episode.
You're listening to the dollop. This is an American history podcast where each week I Dave Anthony
read a story from American history to person with eyes and face.
Gareth Reynolds, who takes that as a compliment at this point,
who has no idea what the topic is going to
be about.
Crybaby.
Welcome to the show.
This is our first show after we've been officially doing the show for 10 years, which is crazy.
And you froze already.
Huh?
You froze already.
And you have ethernet, you froze already.
Yeah, did I really?
Yeah, that's the kind of bullshit I have to deal with on this podcast.
Most shows when they go 10 years, the characters start to become a little bit too big.
You've become a little bit too big.
And I've become dumber.
That's what happens.
The dumb guy becomes mentally challenged.
And then the you guy, you're now being like, God says, get off of my lawn officially.
Yeah, we're leaning into it.
But we should also promote the fact that our 10th anniversary show is still available.
It'll be available for a little while.
Six months.
If people would like to watch that.
You go to Veep's, right?
Yeah, so that's not gonna come out
as a podcast for six months.
So if you wanna hear it or watch it.
James Adomian was our guest.
James is so good.
We do know. People really enjoy it.
Yes, it's crazy.
It's absolutely crazy.
It's long, but people like that stuff.
17 hours.
We know that we did it live and some people tried to watch it live and some people had issues
watching it live. There was, I guess, there was someone in the comments telling people to refresh it, but if you didn't see
that, then it was jumpy and not the best.
So yeah, that's not ideal and we apologize for that.
It was supposed to have been fresher.
It was supposed to have been refreshed a lot, way fresher.
So we know that, yeah, I mean, we know that, and we also know that people were complaining a little bit
and that it was not meant.
It was not met with the maybe greatest response,
but it's still available.
So it works now.
If it didn't work when it was live,
we do fucking apologize.
If we do another one of those,
we'll make sure that that is.
I'd like to say we apologize without the swearing. We fucking apologize. If we do another one of those, we'll make sure that that is. I'd like to say we apologize without the swearing.
We fucking apologize.
But yeah, I mean, it's definitely worth a watch.
So if you did purchase it, it's good to go.
So fucking watch it and fucking enjoy it.
Fucking enjoy it.
But yes.
So now we've been doing the show for 10 years, which is just absolutely strange.
Feels like 20 basically, if you worked with you.
Isn't it strange though?
Do you feel that strange?
I didn't think it was strange until it was over.
Now I'm like...
I mean, I'm dead inside, so I don't know.
You're just like a Spencer's gift keychain with negative catchphrases.
That's right. I'm dead inside.
What do I know?
It's like 20 years.
Have you worked with you?
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, you get it.
It's also probably worth getting watching the the Veep show just for the outfit.
I have a lot of people talking.
What's going to happen? What's happening with that outfit now? So are you selling it back to the car? Yeah. Yeah. Lot of people talking. Lot of people talking.
What's gonna happen?
What's happening with that outfit now?
Are you selling it back to the coffee shop?
It's going to a Hard Rock.
It's going to a Hard Rock.
The Hard Rock has asked for it.
The Hard Rock Las Vegas wants to display it.
And called it quote, his jam pad.
Jam pad?
I'm the fucking hippo guy.
Steve, okay.
My name's Gary.
My name's Gary.
Wait.
Is it for fun?
And this is not gonna become the Tickly Plot, guys.
Okay.
This is like anarchy.
In a five part position.
My room is great. Now he's gonna be like, I'm for fun? And this is not gonna become the Tickling Podcast.
Okay.
This is like anarchy.
On a five part coefficient.
My room is clean.
Now hit him with a puppy.
You both present sick arguments.
No sleep, tell hippo.
Now sleep, tell hippo.
Action, pardon.
Hi, Gary.
No.
I see done, my friend.
No, no.
Roeder, Roeder in the corner.
Roeder, Roeder in the corner. Roeder,, roar in the court.
We go on tour next week in Australia.
Oh, so soon.
Starting on the 12th, we have pastimes in Perth, and then we're doing on the 13th, the
dollop in Perth.
And then we continue on to the other cities.
Do you want to say who our guest is for the Perth one?
We don't have him yet. It's not official.
And then we go to Adelaide and, oh Adelaide's last, but we go to Melbourne and Sydney.
Adelaide, Canberra, Sydney, Brisbane.
All the hits. We're peppering in some pastimes. We've got the dollop.
We're doing pastimes in Perth, Sydney, and Melbourne.
We're not doing one in, we were gonna do one in Brisbane,
but you guys are having a,
what I would call a really dumb football tournament.
Football time.
So I guess, you know, I guess do that on the weekend
we're in town.
That's really cool.
I actually, that's actually what I'm gonna do
while we're there.
I'm gonna make a weekend of it. I'm excited. What do you do?
Just do whatever they're doing. I mean, you handle the work stuff and I'm going to take the weekend and get foie, like they say. So no one says that. If you were any fish, what would you be?
That's a tough one.
I don't answer.
Can I answer for you?
Grouper.
I don't think I'm a grouper.
I'm a clownfish.
Of course you're a clownfish.
Of course you are.
Is this what the show is after 10 years?
I don't like it.
It's bad.
It jumped the clownfish.
People are like, it's changed to the point where it doesn't even make sense.
What if we stopped doing history and it did just start to be...
Alright, Dave, if you were to be in breakfast cereal, what would it be?
Oh, kicks.
Crazy answer.
Cookie crisp.
Cookie crisp?
Yeah.
Because it has my two favorite things, cookies and law enforcement.
Who's the cop?
There's a cop on the front?
The cops are on the front.
They're arresting the guy who's like, on the cover of Cookie Crisp.
It's like some guy's trying to steal the cookies or something.
Just so you know, it's not the cover of Cookie Crisp, it's the box.
Yeah, I want to make the cover
So, uh, annie lebowitz is shooting me i'm doing the cover of cookie crisp
That means a cereal should do that I guess weedies kind of did oh now they don't have the
No, no, no. Yeah. No, there's a cop. There's a cop. He's like upset at the robber guy or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Okay, well, I took a crisp. That's cop. He's like upset at the robber guy or something. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that's fine.
That's fine.
He was the cookie.
This guy is just stealing cookie.
I don't understand it.
It's a really look, but I don't understand what's going on now with our law enforcement.
I mean, nobody understands.
Oh no, our law enforcement's great.
What are you talking about?
I value them.
Okay.
And go.
You start.
Okay.
This is it again.
This is an episode that we have done. And go. You start.
Okay, this is again, this is an episode that we have done. This is from our last tour.
And we've done, but nobody's ever heard.
Right.
Because what happened was this is another one where the guy
was like, I got this.
This is one where they have like a special guy in a booth.
And again, what happens?
He didn't record it. So what city? special guy in a booth and again, nothing.
He didn't record it.
So what city?
San Jose, California.
Okay.
The land of
Freedom.
Tech fascists.
Yep.
Is that right?
I don't know.
It's definitely, San Jose is kind of a strange little town.
July 19th, 1845, year of our Lord.
J-Town.
Yep. You have any words you want to say about J-Town?
No, no, I just I think like.
It's all gotten a bit cartoony, if I'm being honest, so.
Yeah, I'm sorry, but. Used to be a fun podcast.
George Britton Little was born in Clay County, Kentucky to George Britton Little.
Britton Little.
OK.
L Y T T L E.
OK.
If that makes a difference to you.
Doesn't.
He was born to David Yancey little and drew Silla Posey
Britain little. Drusilla. That's a fucked up name for a girl. Yeah. Drusilla definitely
sounds like a name that like when Bugs Bunny was in a dress he would give. Yeah. It's yeah.
It's yeah. It's rough. Okay. Drusilla. Drusilla was the daughter of General George Britton,
a large land owner and often called
the father of Harlan County, Kentucky.
George's father was a prominent attorney
and later a judge.
So, you know, fancy guy.
He was described as a great lawyer statesman and public speaker
fame for his intellectual achievements natural eloquence
Courteousness and grace of speech or remind you of anyone me
Dave Anthony
Dave Anthony you're looking at I can hear you
Isn't that are you were thinking of?
No.
Let me read it again.
Intellectual achievements, natural eloquence, courteousness, and grace of speech.
You heard courteousness in there, right?
Yeah, you fucking piece of shit, I did.
What do you, why do you- Just come on.
I mean, it's like so obvious that you undercut, I mean, that was immediate. The Barberville Mountain Advocate said David was a devout Christian and quote,
was never known to carry weapon, touch a stimulant or take the name of God in vain.
It's un-American at this point.
Sounds really boring.
Yeah. Doesn't he?
Yeah. These these these people never tried a stimulant. Come on. Yeah. Who wouldn't? What. These people would never try to stimulant.
Come on.
Yeah, who wouldn't try?
What's the problem with stimulant?
It's like, it's shocking to me how people can get through their life with none of that.
Right?
What about, I wonder what, so stimulants back then, I mean they had, they had, what's 1845?
You think they had?
Coke.
They had caffeine, yeah.
Probably caffeine.
They had caffeine, but they also had coke.
Didn't they want everyone to do coke?
Coffee? Coke?
I would imagine they had coffee.
When they talk stimulant, I think they're talking about like caffeine and coffee
and everything, like not just coke.
It's amazing that in a time with cocaine,
a ubiquitous cocaine area, you're like, I need a cup of coffee.
I mean, I would just be banging lines.
I would have died.
I would be banging lines.
I don't know what's going on right now.
I'm just saying it's caffeine.
Oh, boy, there's a lot of dogs barking.
Well, what's your deal?
Are you do you live in a shelter?
Yeah, I have 17. OK, is there like one of those Instagrams that I follow where I'm like, man, this guy
needs more money for raw meat.
I took in 17 dogs.
Okay.
It does seem to be like there's group dog mind going on at your house.
All my dogs were cast offs from Biden or Ellen DeGeneres. He would go on to serve as Kentucky State Senator
from 1867 to 1871 and be remembered as the father
of free education in Kentucky.
So his dad, so George Britton's dad is, he's great.
This is a fucking top notch individual.
George was the first of 11 kids.
A lot of, a lot of, shh. Lotta, lotta.
Yeah, a lot of that going on.
When he was five, the family moved to Harland County
and he got the best education.
Everyone noticed George was very bright.
It was expected that he would also be an attorney.
And when he was 15, the
Civil War started. Good time. Good time. 15 is the prime age for a war to start. Well,
this kind of war too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. On May 16th, 1861, the Kentucky legislature declared the state neutral in the war.
That seems-
Hard to take a stance on slavery.
Hard to take a like, it went-
It shows you how low the bar is because I'm like, I'm proud of you, Kentucky.
Wow.
Good for you.
If you had to guess, you would have said-
100% pro.
Slave state, just like you would have said 100% pro.
Just like you thought Benjamin Franklin was a president.
I don't understand why.
You know what?
That happened almost 10 years ago.
It is time to stop it.
Okay.
It is not crazy.
It is not crazy.
Shut up.
It is not crazy to think that the man on the hundred dollar bill who invented electricity from kiting was in charge at one point.
And by the way, this is before I knew people were listening.
This is when we were just we were all saying stuff back then.
We were all saying stuff. Well, we were all just letting it rip.
Seeing what's stuck back then.
It was a different time.
You could say you could posit the thought that potentially Benjamin Franklin was a president
and then get away with it.
Don't talk to me like you're Scooby-Doo.
So, Kentuckians, because of this, they could fight in whichever side they wanted to fight in.
Families were divided and that led to the phrase, brother against brother.
On July 1st, 1863, George rode to Virginia and joined up with the Confederate army. We have a hero.
Such a such an easy choice.
Yep.
So he works as a courier.
He's carrying messages.
He's often going through Union lines.
He once had his horse shot out from under him, but he managed to escape on foot.
Okay. And the horse I assume
Made it. Yeah, there's a lot of horse surgeons. Yeah always
operating on horses pony medics I
Even if I was fighting a war
I don't think I'd want to shoot a horse like I agree the whole thing would be
war, I don't think I'd want to shoot a horse. I agree.
The whole thing would be, it's how I feel now.
I'm like, yeah, I definitely don't like people getting hurt, but if I see an animal hurt,
very different.
I would have been like-
The only way I like an animal to be hurt is if a governor shoots a dog in a gravel pit.
So, okay, we should address this because this is a huge story.
Listen, a lot of people are on Kristian Ohm's ass
because she killed a dog that was difficult.
Useless.
What is she supposed to do?
Thank you.
What is she supposed to do?
And she killed a goat and two horses.
What is she supposed to do?
Yeah, you can't not,
like if a dog isn't doing what you want.
A puppy?
Puppies are supposed to be fully trained
by the time they're puppies. Thank you.
Puppies at three months should be fully trained. They should know what you're. A puppy? Puppies are supposed to be fully trained by the time they're puppies.
Puppies at three months should be fully trained.
They should know what you're doing.
If your dog doesn't catch a frisbee at five months, it's over.
Put them down.
It's done.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Now I want her to run for president.
I didn't before, but now that I know she does puppies.
It's a real talk.
She's making bold choices.
How great.
I mean, it just shows you the lunacy of people in politics now, where she didn't say that
in an interview.
No, she wrote it in a book.
That's in her fucking book.
Other people read it.
And at the end of it, she's like, that's how you got to make tough decisions.
I mean, people are going to love this.
I mean, honestly. Yeah. It's the worst political decision I you got to make tough decisions. I mean, people are going to love this. I mean, honestly.
Yeah, it's the worst political decision I have ever seen in my life.
It's such a cell phone.
I mean, she was going to be like the vice president.
She could have said I molested kids and it would be less hated.
Yes, I agree.
OK, we finished discussing that topic. Thank you.
So so he joins the Confederate army and he works as a courier carrying messages. He get the horse gets shot out from under him and he runs away on foot.
But on November 12, 1863, he was captured and sent to a prison in Columbus, Ohio.
But he's young. So on December 23rd, 1863, he's paroled under the condition that he go back to his family and never take up arms against the U.S. again.
OK, we should do that with some people here now.
So easy. And I believe we could have.
We could have. Yeah, but we did never.
Sure, beat him the old fashioned way. Yeah, I lose it. Yeah, but we did never. She will beat him the old-fashioned way.
Yeah, I lose it.
Yeah, we want George goes back to Harlan County and he studies
law for the rest of the war and eventually he is admitted to
the Kentucky bar.
Ah, so he's lawyer.
Sure.
On November 13th 1865, his mom died two weeks
after giving birth to a brother who died two months later.
It's called the double.
Boy, that woman was just, she didn't have much,
she was just kind of a suit that children popped out of.
Yeah, she had, it seems like one purpose
that they were working out there.
She just kept, boy, she just kept boy
She must have been stacking them too. I mean he's he's like there had to be like a line
He's like 18 now probably or something like that. So she pretty much was in if she wasn't with child
she was
Recovering getting ready for another because he had 11 that doesn't mean 11 lived
I mean she could have 18 kids in 18 years, right or you know, that would have been a little yeah
That's what that's probably what we're talking about though. Yeah
That's that's what I'm looking for on a wife myself
So so George is heartbroken he really loved his mommy he becomes very despondent
He got a license to practice law He really loved his mommy. He becomes very despondent.
He got a license to practice law, but he was really drinking a lot now.
And he really couldn't do the job being drunk, unlike my dad who could do it.
Well, your dad was thrown out of court once for being drunk.
But he could do the job.
Yeah, he could do the job.
Yeah.
And what's great is other people, when it came to your father, could also get the job done.
What does that mean, exactly?
I'm sure that what he was doing,
other people could do it.
10 years in, let's just come clean.
We're 10 years in.
Let's just come clean about stuff.
Yeah, of course.
What'd you do?
To what?
To my dad.
I didn't know your dad.
Did you kill my father?
No. He's a hell of a man, though.
Gareth, did you kill my father?
I had a complicated relationship with your dad.
Did you use your bare hands?
Your dad was an amazing man.
Did you use your bare hands?
So what's going on now? So he's killing his dad?
So he's, this is a prominent family, right?
His dad's like a senator.
So he's an embarrassment.
He's the drunken embarrassment of the family.
He can't pull himself together and he decides enough is enough, quote, I left Kentucky in 1866. I'd become addicted to drink.
And so as not to distress my relatives and friends, I thought it best to leave them at
least until I could free myself from that inordinate appetite.
So he did the Irish exit with his family.
Yeah, he was like, it's what the alcoholics called geographic. He's like, what if I go
over there?
Yeah. Yeah. No, yeah. You just hide. Yeah. You're like, what if I go over there? Yeah. Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
You just hide.
Yeah.
You're like, I'll be not drunk that way.
You need to stop.
Well, I decide out of mind.
So at least he doesn't tell anyone.
He just, he's just God.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's the Irish exit.
And he didn't know where he was going, right?
And he just rambled around for a year and then he ends up in Los Angeles in 1868.
Jesus, that's quite a ramble.
Some serious rambling.
I probably would have still been in Kentucky.
Yeah, he probably was.
Yeah, thought it was a lie.
Wow, Los Angeles.
There he is.
The big city where all your entertainment dreams are a potential.
Quote, at length, I became almost besotted, grew desperate, and drifted into the worst
company in California.
To satisfy my appetite for drinks, I began to rob stagecoaches, taking only the treasure
belonging to the express company, Wells Fargo and Company.
Well, and then it's like, okay, so he's pro-slavery, but he's also going to steal
specifically from Wells Fargo. He's awesome. Let's be honest. He's awesome. Yeah. This guy's
well, and when he stole from them, he should have charged them an overdraft.
I said, when he stole from me,
I said, when he stole from me, Gareth, we are brought to you by or, uh, that's right. Digital frames. So mother's day coming up, mother's day gifts can be hard to get. I know
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I really like them. And it is such a great idea for a mother if you pop in pictures of you and the family
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It's just a slam dunk.
Or strangers.
A slam dunk.
You can put strangers.
Sure, yeah, no, they're putting pictures.
Putting just pictures from magazines in it.
Sure, whatever you want to do, whatever you want to do.
We both got frames.
They're generous enough to give us a couple. They're great. They're
super easy to use. You can put like hundreds of pictures on there. You can put so many
pictures on there.
I just did the same picture over and over again from my one here, but it's still swaps.
You can see it moving. It's interesting.
Yeah. And the frames are really nice. They don't look crappy or cheap. They look like
a really nice frame and you can throw it anywhere in your house.
It looks great.
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Some come with unlimited storage so you can just do as many photos as you want.
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Yeah.
And we are also brought to you by Airbnb.
Now look, there's actually a couple times a year when a big group of my oldest friends
and I, and they are old, get together and we will rent an Airbnb and stay in it for
a few days over like a holiday weekend or something like that.
It just always makes the experience a lot better because, you know, we're in a home.
But on the road, if I ever have the choice between a hotel or an Airbnb I always go
Airbnb just because it's better. I like a home over a hotel. But recently I did
start thinking well while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the
answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up and then having a
little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm
on the road. So whether you could use a little more scratch generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road.
So whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more
fun, your home might be worth more than you think.
Find out how and how much at airbnb.ca slash host.
His tactic for stagecoach robbery was to hide out on a route, step out with a bandana over
his face, and then the guy on the stagecoach would yell, masking doesn't work.
Cook!
He'd step out with a bandana on, pistol, pistol out, and he'd demand the strong box.
So a Wells Fargo-
So his mom had.
Jesus Christ. Sorry. It's Mom had. Is, Jesus Christ.
Sorry, it's a lot of babies.
Jesus.
I apologize, that was a lot.
A Wells Fargo Strongbox was wood
with reinforced iron straps.
Okay.
So fully loaded with gold,
it could weigh up to 150 pounds.
Okay, fuck me.
Those of you who are listening to the countries
It's like seven kilograms here. I'll tell you in in British stones. It's about
eight stone I
Love when people make fun of us for ours and then the British say I weigh 13 stones
You're like what in the fuck are you talking about?
Yeah, it's really wild.
Um, stone, stone.
I'm seven trees.
Stern.
So writing in his later years,
he explained that he was a relatively gentle criminal.
I quote, in none of the apparently desperate encounters in which I became entangled
in my youthful adventures, did anyone get a bullet or a stab by myself? I was out for
money, but not for blood. I would aim at affluent corporations and never molest poor persons
or private individuals.
Molest one of those words that it's just evolved into something different.
It's a better word now.
Or synonymous with a different act.
Okay, so he's a Robin Hoodie kind of a feller.
He's going for the rich.
That's what he's saying.
Corporations.
Corporations and the affluent.
Okay, I love it.
We like this.
Just affluent corporations.
It's a real shame about the pro-slavery stance.
That is the one sort of cuz that's a shame
That's a tough starting point. That's a bit of a stand. It will remain on his permanent record. Yep
So despite this he quickly became a notorious fugitive in the Los Angeles areas and cop's named him the lone
highwayman
Nice pretty good.
Yeah.
All right, Nick.
I'm surprised they had highways.
I think any dirt road was considered a highway.
Highway, the highwaymen were what,
at this time they called robbers in England
who would rob people on the road.
Can you name all the highwaymen from the country group?
Frank the Stilts.
Johnny Cash?
Mr. Pants.
Willie Nelson?
Old Man Rocks.
Waylon Jennings?
Sanchez the Diaper.
Chris Christopherson?
And Mr. Guglias.
Okay, I forgot you were talking during that.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group.
George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group. George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group. George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group. George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family from the country group. George decided to lose his old identity to spare his family for their embarrassment and
he chose the name Dick Fellows.
Great.
It's, it's quite a name.
Yeah.
Now is he doing anything there?
Because that sounds like it would like, it does sound like a porn actor.
I don't, I don't know if Dick has the same meaning back now. I don't know if they
use Dick. No, he's like, well, I was molested in several different names. When I molested
Dick, I realized it was good to go. I should change what I said. I said, I don't think
people were using Dick. I should say Dick wasn't a name. Sure.
People were using Dick.
Well, I mean, look at his parents.
Yeah, yeah.
Clearly, Dad was using Dick.
Oh, 100%.
On October 15th, 1869, Dick fellows tried to rob
the Wells Fargo stagecoach in Santa Barbara County.
The Los Angeles Daily News, quote,
"'On the last down trip near Santa Barbara,
an adventurous night of the road
attempted to stop and rob one of the coaches of the Coastline Company. His modest request
to halt was answered by a volley of pistol bullets. A shot which laid open his cheek
caused the highwayman to beat a hasty retreat.
Oh, shit. So they cheek shot him.
They cheeked. He got cheeked.
How fucking great would it be to like go on a train now and try to rob it?
Great. Just to be like, everyone relax.
I've been in a coma.
I was in a block of ice and someone just thawed me.
A train robbery should come back. back like that would be really yeah
Be great just be say if you were on I mean, I don't know last time you're on a train
But man fucking a it would be a little excitement in the mix. Yeah, being robbed. Oh, no. Oh my god
Okay, so someone shot him in his cheek
After after dick hit out with his friend Ed Clark at Ed's cabin near Kasteik.
This is on the land that Magic Mountain theme park is on today.
It's just so nice to know the future of the place and that it remains historically relevant
with the Six Flags. became more remains historically relevant with a six flags.
Ed told Dick he should leave behind Bannetry and help him invest in a hog farm.
I'm telling you, you've got to stop with your highway man life.
The future is hog farm.
Now, I know you're probably getting a big kick when you walk onto that Wells Fargo train with your pistol out and your demanded boxes of gold.
Boy, that sounds like a hell of a rush.
But have you ever tried to chase a greased up pig through a bunch of sloshed mud?
No.
That's also quite a rush.
I'll tell you what, that is as good as it gets.
It doesn't sound like it.
You want a real rush.
Yeah, if you're trying to get a swine, get dragged through some dirt,
I went by the swine running away from you.
You get dragged through the dirt by a swine.
I have been.
So Dick agrees.
He's like, okay, I'll hog farm it.
They combine their money and it's about $2,000.
And Ed buys 600 hogs and enough food to get through the winter.
It's a big investment. It's like when your buddy is like, I bought a hundred thousand
in Bitcoin.
Yeah, it really is.
He said they all 600. From none to 600?
Yeah, none to 600. They went straight to 600.
All right. That's a lot. They carefully stacked the supplies in a grove of sycamore trees on the federal rangeland
where they planned to graze their livestock.
Now not wanting to be seen in daylight, Dick returned to the cabin while Ed stayed on the
range.
And a few hours later when Ed was back, they heard a massive explosion that
sounded like cannon fire. So they wrote down to the Grove, Bay of pigs, and they find that
Ed's cook fire had gone off and gone wild. It's a wildfire. And it set the Grove on fire and ignited gunpowder that they had under their supplies and everything
was blown to pieces except one bag of flour, which was now at the top of the tallest tree
and a single bottle of Aguardente, which is a liquor of some kind.
So, and that's just so they have no all the stuff they were going to feed the pigs is gone.
It's all gone.
Except for one bag of flour that blew up into a tree and a bottle of liquor.
They were going to eat too.
Right. Yeah, right.
So they go back to the cabin and Dick
drinks the booze, the bottle of booze and said, and said he's going to go to LA and rob a stage
coach. Has to. I mean, he's got this great skill. Yeah. Yeah. On December 7th, 1869, the Soledad
stage coach was headed from San Francisco to, sorry, San Fernando to LA.
At one o'clock when Dick popped out, pissed off, man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Come on.
Come on.
You're middle-aged man.
Stop it.
You're middle-aged man.
You're middle-aged man.
I'm not middle-aged.
I'm the teen of the show.
Oh, by the way, we should point out to the doll heads, The fans that doll up the doll heads. Man,
you guys brought the fucking hammer down Saturday night. It was like we were doing an opera
with roses. So many doll heads hit the stage. Dave, your barber friend gave you a doll head
design.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a movement. One that we both co-signed.
Yeah.
It's exciting to find our footing. Anyway, you were saying this guy's dick popped out.
What's up?
So dick pops out, pistol in hand and yelled, hold up there driver.
And the driver shouted back, all right.
I'm taking it pretty good.
And he stopped.
And Dick yelled at the driver to throw out the strong box.
But before he could, a man got out of the stage coach and started
shooting. Okay. Which spooked the horses and the stage coach takes off. Dick's horse also
takes off because I guess he's like, we're running a horses are running. And he goes
to, so Dickford hit for cover as the, uh, the shooting guy's maroon now because he has no
way to get out of there.
He keeps shooting and Dick yells quote, hurry up, Bill.
You and John go around on one side and I'll take the other.
Smart, right?
This is before people use their brains.
So when a man does, you're like, what the?
I'm surrounded.
He's got friends. I'm surrounded. France.
I'm surrounded. I mean, that was the work so effectively.
Yeah. Well, the guy thinks he's surrounded and yelled he's going to surrender and Dick goes and
takes his gun and his money, which is about $350.
And the man's like, can I get $50 to go back home?
And Dick gave it to him and set him off saying, quote,
next time keep out of difficulties
that do not concern you.
I kind of remember this.
That is amazing.
This is Joan.
What a kind robber.
Yeah.
Can I have bus fare?
All right.
Sure, you can.
But this happens a lot in our stories
when there's a robber and people ask for their money back, they always give them a little bit.
Yeah. I mean, it's, it is nice. It would be not, it would be very, I mean,
that's what would be great in this country we live in now.
We're all getting screwed and robbed and it would be great if they're like,
you can stay in your house.
Or stay in our house. Yeah. Oh, if you get evicted, you mean?
Yes.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
Hi.
Okay.
That is such a smart tactic too.
So Dick finds his horse and he rides towards LA.
He stops at a store in Cajenga and he buys supplies and he sends them to Ed.
And around eight o'clock he stops a stage coach in the Cahenga Pass.
Once again a passenger began shooting and the coach's horses took off.
This time Dick jumped on his horse and chased the stage coach down the hill and into the
LA basin.
Okay. coach down the hill and into the LA basin. He cut through a valley right where the Hollywood
Bowl is today and got ahead of the stage coach and he took off his hat and cloak and put
them on a fallen tree nearby. And then Dick hit on the other side of the road and when
the stage coach approached he yelled that quote, don't shoot boys till you get the signal. Wait, is he doing the voice of tree him?
No, he's not doing the voice of tree.
He says more than one of them and he's doing the same thing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The passenger with the gun jumped out and ran towards the clothes on the tree on the
other side of the creek bed.
And then Dick walked up to the driver and yelled quote throw out Wells Fargo's treasure box.
And the driver threw it out and Dick got on his horse and made $485.
But meanwhile that guy was like a tree him like, all right, mister, I told you real good.
Now you stay there and be quiet and I'm a slowly approach you and take you again away from you now.
Boy, he's a real quiet one, isn't he?
Alright mister. Now, before I say anything else to you, I want you to sit there quietly and quickly and take off your hat there mister.
Discussion ain't talking back guys. I think I'm gonna have to put some lead in him, open up a couple more holes for him to speak through.
Well, it seemed like he didn't react at all to them bullets.
I think this gentleman's out of blood here.
He's a tree.
Felt like it at times.
Boy, I'm kippered out.
What do you say we lay back here and take some naps?
I feel like I've been violated a little bit
by that man to be frank, which is...
All right.
Yeah, we're going to leave you here, by the way.
Watch out.
That guy's packing some major heat.
All right.
Good dresser.
Oh, shit.
No pants.
So Dick goes to a Rona house near Pico Rivera, and the tavern owner recognizes him from a wanted poster.
And as Dick sat to eat, the owner pulled the pistol, quote, surrender, Dick fellows or
I'll shoot you dead.
Two patrons also jumped in and Dick grabbed the gun barrel and the gun went off hitting
Dick's right foot.
But he got the gun away from the owner and blew out the candles on the table and
ran out the door.
Happy birthday.
That's what you say when you do that.
Happy birthday.
Happy birthday.
He rides over.
Okay.
He rides overnight to a farmhouse owned by Antonio Melahowitz, who is a friend in East
LA.
Okay.
And he said he'd been shot at a dance the night before
and he needed help.
It's quite a lie.
Yeah, a doctor removes the bullet and patches him up.
But then a posse sees Dick's horse and surrounds the house.
I cannot believe the level of identification
that these people are.
Yeah, the fact that they know him from a wanted poster
and that they recognize his fucking horse.
Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
That's wild.
So, um,
Dick tells Antonio to tell the posse he caught the villain
known as Dick Fellows and to get
the reward.
So, Dick Antonio.
Okay.
He tells his friend.
He's telling them, like, go grab the reward.
I got him.
Yeah.
He's telling his friend, like, you just turned me in.
So Dick Antonio and the posse rode into LA where Dick was booked on December 9th, 1869.
Oh, okay. So they are really taking him in. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah. He turned his buddy, turned him in. He told him to turn him.
But that ain't him at all. He let nothing. You don't look nothing like that.
Fuck you. Shut the fuck up.
This guy's walking. You shut up.
I'll tell you one big distinguish in difference of face. Plus he's got skin.
The real dick fellows ain't got skin and he make a man do whatever he wants in front of face. Plus he's got skin. The real dick fellows ain't got
skin and he make a man do whatever he wants in front of him. Matter of fact, he made me
tug on myself. All right. I do it again. I know I want to relive it either. That's a
dark day for me. His orders were clear. It It's a joke. He really made it very obvious what he wanted.
Him and his bird buddy.
This guy ain't even got a bird friend.
So.
Plus he ain't got berries growing out of his fingernails.
That other guy did.
I ate one of them and got diarrheal.
It's a tough day for all of them.
Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. Don't of them. Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him.
Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. Don't shoot him. of robbing the man at Cujunga, the stage coach in LA,
an assault with intent to kill the tavern owner
and given eight years in San Quint.
Shit, wow.
By the way, the tavern owner shot, like shot his foot.
Yeah, well yeah, that's true.
So he's a model prisoner integrating himself to lessen his sentence,
sorry, ingratiating himself to lessen his sentence. And he works at the new prison library and he
becomes fluent in Spanish. He teaches other prisoners Spanish literature, law and classical
philosophy. And he's well known for giving long lectures
that convicts enjoyed because they have nothing to do.
Yep.
He organized a Sunday school Bible class.
Wow.
And after three years,
Dick was seen as the de facto religious leader
of the prison.
A reporter visits and noted that Dick's religious lectures
had quote, a vigor and eloquence that struck terror into the souls of the minions of Satan.
Wow. Yeah, it's not a little bias. Maybe. Yeah, it's not. Yeah, it's a lot also. Okay. So now
that's taking on this, I thought it was like, you know, positives, but he's just like,
the Satan will take you. He'll get you. I mean, that's the standard. Yeah, I suppose it is. Yeah,
a lot of it's fear. The reporter also said Dick had seen the errors of his ways and turned himself
around. He's reformed. He's a reformed man. Right. He only served four years of his eight year sentence and was given an unconditional pardon
by the governor on April 4th, 1874.
And he walks out of San Quentin and then he kind of disappears for a while.
We don't know where he is.
Okay.
James B Hume was a detective working with Wells Fargo.
And he wrote...
Oh, I like this.
That's what we got.
Nice.
It's a good time to introduce him.
He wrote armed and stagecoaches, and he also investigated robberies and tracked down bandits.
I'm hoping someday someone gets on a stagecoach that I'm a-sittin' in.
They ain't leaving with no big bounty.
They'll just be leaving with a belly full of bullets.
Hume.
Hume.
Yeah, no, I...
Yeah.
He was so good that years later he was known as the Sherlock Holmes of the West.
They call me Sherlock Humes.
That's pretty good. Nah December 4th, it's just
using the last name. It was disappointment. The face was like, say it again and watch my face.
Sherlock Humes. Not great. On December 4th, 1875, Hume stepped off a train in Caliente, California. It's a boom
town located at the terminus of the Southern Pacific railroad, about 27 miles East of Bakersfield.
So he's there with two other heavily armed men to ride a stagecoach to LA loaded with three strong boxes containing
$240,000 of gold coins.
Holy shit.
Which is about $7.5 million today.
Holy shit.
Let's go.
As they unloaded the boxes from the train and onto the stagecoach, Hume noticed a familiar face in the crowd, San Quentin Prison's Sunday
School teacher Dick Fellows.
Dick had come to Caliente to find honest work and was not planning on robbing a stagecoach.
But this is too good.
Yeah, he sees all the armed security and how many people it took to lift the boxes and
he figures that's gold and a lot of gold.
A lot.
And he and a friend talk about it and they decide to rob it.
So they're going to meet a mile outside of town and do the holdup on a very narrow winding
road through the Tehachapi Mountains.
Okay.
So Dick rents a horse from Avis.
Yep, obviously I was gonna say herds, yep.
Yep.
About a half mile outside of town,
the horse suddenly stops and-
We actually don't have the size horse that you ordered.
We're gonna put you in a pony.
Would you take a dressage pony?
Ha ha ha.
For the same price?
We have a great Shetland.
Yeah.
Is something with that?
How about a donkey?
I have my own family.
How about a dog?
Okay.
Here, let me introduce you to Hank.
You can ride him.
What's a nightmare here now.
Everyone quit working here.
It literally happened to me. Like.
I was renting a car like three weeks ago from enterprise and I was
fan. It was for his birthday and I was like, I'll rent you a
nice car. What do you need? Picks out a nice car. And then I
go there and they're like, okay, here's your car. And it's just
fucking shitty sedan.
If you go to a rental car place and there's no line and you get a car,
you're like, I can't believe what just happened. Like I've had that happen. I've been like, this is
shocking. The feeling when you're getting off a plane to go get a rental car. Like I run through,
I home alone through that airport. I run through that airport because you know, Simpson through the
airport. Yes, I do.
I kill people in my way and even waiters
who are just with those people.
So he rents a horse and then about a half mile
outside of town, the horse suddenly stops and bucks
and Dick.
So it was Avis.
Yeah, it was Avis.
So Dick hits the ground head first
and he's knocked out cold.
Wow. The horse just runs back to its stable.
That's what rental horses will do.
Yeah.
The horse is like, awesome.
And Dick was just laying face down on the road for hours.
When he doesn't show up at the rendezvous, his friend figured Dick was caught.
He and the 240,000 make it to LA with no issues.
Wow.
So Dick wakes up, he knows he's missed the big score
because it's so much later.
But he still wants to rob somebody.
He's like, well, I gotta get something in here.
This guy is good.
This really is like, this is in his blood.
He's fixing for a robbery.
Yeah.
He can't rent a horse to do a robbery.
You there kid, give me your lolly. Yeah. We've got to take something from someone.
Yeah. I'm going to cut your daughter's pigtails off, man. You didn't say nothing.
So the return stage coach would be coming that night from LA. So he started walking
back to Caliente and he saw a horse tied up outside of a general store, so he stole it.
And he's still on his way back.
And then the lone highwayman is now out of retirement.
No shots are fired.
He does the robbery, goes off easy.
But he had not brought any tools to open the strong box. Okay.
So he looks for a big rock to break it open,
but he can't find one.
And he decides to open it somewhere else.
Is the, yeah, I was just going to say,
is the reason he has to,
there's no reason he has to open it there, right?
Well, he tries to put it on the horse's back.
It's too heavy.
But before he could, the horse breaks away and takes off running. The horse is like, no, that's on the horse's back. Too heavy. Before he could, the horse breaks away
and takes off running.
The horse is like, no, that's not what we're doing.
What a great time for horses so far.
Yeah, no, yeah.
Totally.
I'm not into that, honestly.
Yeah, they sound like they're in a union,
and they're like, nah.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
So now, no horse.
He starts dragging the heavy box back towards the town and
The Southern Pacific Railroad is blasting and tunneling through the mountains at this point
So did they make the box particularly heavy or was the gold in it? Just what made it have I think it's what's in it?
Yeah, okay. Okay, so dick decided to I'm sure it was heavy
I think it's what's in it, yeah. Okay, okay.
So Dick decided to, I'm sure it was heavy,
but if you've seen it, it's like two iron sort of straps.
It's probably not that heavy.
Right, okay.
So Dick decides to hide out in a tunnel,
one of the ones that Southern Pacific is blasting.
He makes his way through the hills in the darkness
and suddenly fell 18 feet straight down
into the blasted entrance of tunnel number five on
the to hatch be railroad loop
shit
He's having a bit of a clumsy day. Yeah, he's really is
He breaks his left leg above the ankle
That's his whole leg
That's his whole leg. That's his whole leg.
That's like, yeah, I'm not saying I'm not saying it all broke above the egg.
It was like just right above the ankle.
There was a bit like every part of his leg was like, that's not good.
At least my ankles good.
And then the strong box is tumbling behind him and it crushes his left foot.
Oh, fucking A.
He passes out from the pan.
And when he wakes, he slowly crawls pushing the strong box in front of him.
Gotta love it.
He's like a dung beetle.
He is.
He's got to do this.
And he pushes it up an embankment and
As dawn is breaking he crawls into the campsite of some Chinese railroad workers. Oh my god
Yeah, yeah, he's like, yeah
Dude is shattered with all that. They're like, yeah feels like a trap Yeah, it doesn't seem good. We're not, man, it feels like this could be bad for us
in some way.
I don't wanna die.
I need help.
So he gets an axe and he opens the strong box.
There's only $1,800 inside,
which is a lot less than the $240,000 on the way down.
So he spent a day in a willow grove near Tehachapi Creek where he fashioned some makeshift crutches.
Okay.
So now he's just full on MacGyver at this point.
Sure.
That night, he comes upon a barn with three horses inside.
And he picks the one that looked the fastest and he rides off. But the horse he stole.
Had been temporarily fitted with one mule shoe instead of a horseshoe.
Just like having a flat.
So they have like a donut tire for horses.
Yeah, it's a donut tire for horse. That's correct.
OK. And one mule shoe. Yeah.
He knew when they were just running in circles, he's like, buddy, no,
I'm getting nowhere. Come shoe. Yeah. He knew when they were just running in circles. He's like, buddy, no, I'm getting nowhere.
Come on. No.
Yeah.
So mule shoes are shorter and smaller.
So, um, so this leaves super identifiable tracks to follow.
Okay.
Right.
And he was caught three days later and taken to the courthouse in Bakersfield.
On the way, Dick offers to give Deputy Muharin money.
Right.
Except $50.
Pitch bribes.
Except $50.
Because he needs that.
Except $50?
He needs that.
He's going to give him the rest of the money, but he needs the $50.
For bus fare? Is it the same thing? Well, Dick needs, yeah He's going to give him the rest of the money, but he needs the $50. For bus fare?
Is it the same thing?
Well, Dick needs, yeah, you got to have some money.
Yeah, sure.
A little bit.
And he gave the other guy $50 when he robbed him.
Yeah.
I would take this deal without question.
And he's like, I'll leave the country forever if you let me go.
How?
What, just Mexico?
Probably, yeah.
Or the ocean.
Sure.
Atlantis. So
Mujeran just took 500 for himself and turned Dick in anyway.
He's like, well, I like this guy, too.
I like this guy's style, too.
I like that guy's like, motherfucker, how about I just take 500
and I don't do shit for you?
When Detective Hume only got a bribe myself to of the treasure, Dick told him about what Muharren
had done and then Muharren was fired from the Kern County Sheriff's Office.
All right, not a great move.
When they finally got him to a hospital, Dick's boot had to be cut from his foot because his
leg had ballooned to twice his normal size.
Your leg should never balloon.
That's like...
God damn.
So he was really...
I mean, that box falling on your leg is...
That's bad.
Bad.
Yeah.
On January 9th, 1876, he was indicted for highway robbery in Kern County.
Using the name Richard Perkins, Dick pleaded guilty and still on crutches, made a long
and impassioned speech to the court begging for mercy.
Wait, what's why do you change his name?
He just told him a different name.
But Hume didn't know like there was no they didn't connect.
I mean, it's not like it's not in LA.
He's up in Kern County.
So it's a great God.
It's yes.
You're so envious of a time where you could just do that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
And what's your name?
Richard Perkins. All right. What'd you do? Jay walk? We have that. Yeah. Yeah. All right. And what's your name? Richard Perkins.
All right. What'd you do? Jay walk. Well, Mr. Perkins, look, I think you learned a lesson.
You seem like a humble man. Well, that's not what happened. He got eight years. Okay. And
Dick was put in the Bakersfield jail to wait for transport back to San Quentin.
The Bakers, the Bakersfield jailhouse was a temporary structure that was made of wood planks.
I'm sensing that's a problem. I mean, I doubt I would say that if it wasn't going to have
meaning. Yes. And that's, unless someone was gonna be like, you know, wood's actually breakable.
Really, steel?
No.
So when the jailer came the next morning,
he found some of the floorboards pulled up.
Just found a dick-sized hole in the wall.
Oh, shit.
Hang on a minute.
Now it looks like.
And when I say dick-sized hole,
I don't mean a glory hole.
I know.
For all you people out there, that's disgusting.
Dick Fellows was on the lamb once again.
A reward of $550 was offered by the sheriff.
That's about...
Well, he must have gone to Avis if he ended up on a lamb.
How much is it today?
That's about $15,000 just over today.
Okay.
So he spends two days in hiding around the Kern River and on day three he tries to steal
another horse.
It has no saddle.
Okay, that's better though.
Still better.
It's better, but the balls.
The horse's balls?
No, the...
Your balls.
My balls.
Your balls, yeah. Although does a saddle really do that much for your balls? I, the... Your balls. My balls. Your balls, yeah.
Although, does a saddle really do that much for your balls?
I don't know, probably.
I mean, it definitely makes a difference because it's hard to ride without a saddle.
Yeah, it's harder to ride, but I don't know if that's a ball issue.
I think it's all ball.
That's why the saddle is usually called the ball helper.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
That's what the saddle bag is.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So he goes back to the barn to try to steal a saddle
and he tries to put the saddle on the horse,
but it runs away.
Now he's back on foot.
His horses.
I mean, he must just, honest to God, it's like Achilles heel is the horse. Yeah, he's back on his horse. He must just honest to God.
It's like Achilles heel is the horse.
Yeah, he's not good with horses.
The horses are just like, nah, my plan.
I'm gonna go be a horse.
So counterpoint, a lot of the horses are just saying, you ain't putting that on me.
No, I'll leave you here.
I'm going to go home.
So so now he's on foot. So he heads. At least he has a saddle, though. Now he's like, all right, got a saddle.
That's cool.
So he heads back to the swamp.
Oh, boy, that's always a fun.
By by noon the next day, Dick is recaptured.
Wow.
Quote, I only succeeded in nearly perishing
for days and days in those cold slows
without food or shelter,
only to be recaptured at last by a band of nincompoops.
Is that what they were calling themselves?
Yeah, that was the official name.
So he basically is like, I almost died hiding and then a band of idiots found me.
Basically, yeah.
Right.
He was sent to San Quentin on January 16th, 1876.
His leg is still broken.
Jesus.
Prison officials made him open the doors for prisoners entering the dining hall and he
became nicknamed
Lame Dick.
Because, yeah, because he, they're just trying to embarrass him basically.
I just think that was he had a limp or whatever.
So they're just like, oh, gotcha.
Right.
Okay.
Right.
They weren't talking about his actual dick.
Is that what you thought?
No, no, no.
Get your mind out of the gut. You're so gross. They eventually gave his job back at the prison library. Lame dick. If you heard
someone say lame dick when you took your pants off, that would hurt. Yeah, that would really hurt.
Lame dick. So after serving five and a half years, Dick was paroled for good behavior in May 1881.
He goes out and gets a job as a local reporter.
I love that this guy's like, and I'll tell you what I'm not going to do, is rob.
I've learned my lesson.
He became a local reporter and solicitor for the Daily Echo in Santa Cruz, California.
Daily Echo is a hilarious name for a journalist publication.
So what the New York Times said.
So what the New York Times said.
Yeah, it's basically it.
It's basically it.
No, I'm actually the...
No, I'm actually the...
Don't read this paper.
This is the Daily Echo Echo.
Don't read this paper.
This is the Daily Echo Echo.
So I'm actually...
So I'm actually...
We're an original publication.
We're just taking some stories and reporting them from the New York Times.
And you need to stop it. I haven't done paper.
I haven't done paper.
So, yeah, now he's a reporter.
The only times in 1882 he was my coffee mug is called.
Hello. Hello.
Hello.
He was an able writer having a strong memory being well versed in ancient and modern history
and also having a good education and having warm qualities of heart.
He was capable of adorning any social or intellectual circle he might enter.
Remind you of anyone? Me? Yeah. Again. Again. He took out an ad offering Spanish lessons under
his new name G. Brett Little, professor of languages. Okay.
They call me the professor of accents. Did you know that? No, they should
not have. It's a spasumibara. Really bad. He taught classes, but not enough to sustain
him. Dick turned. Guess how old he is? Probably 40s. Oh, pretty good. He's 36. Okay
Okay, there's been a lot of living. Oh, yeah. Yeah there has
So he's 36 on July 19th 1881 and that same day He robs a stagecoach in San Luis Obispo and gets $10
Ten dollars. It's not great
So this is really it's a little Sad now. Yeah. He's in his 30s playing in like the D League. Yeah, it's not. Yeah. So Dick heads to Duncan Mills near the Russian River in Sonoma County and Rob's stagecoach on August 12th. When he broke open the strongbox, the only thing inside was a single document written in Chinese. Oh, my God. What the fuck?
I think it's a spell.
It's a spell.
What are they? Why are they even?
What are they doing?
Are they just doing decoy boxes?
No, it's got to be.
It's got to be like a Chinese contract, probably between like two Chinese
like tongs or something like, you know, it's got to be like a Chinese contract probably between like two Chinese, like a tongs or something.
Like, you know, it's got to be like a Chinese business, but
How much is the? Does anyone know what this says?
It says the bearer is cursed. Oh, no.
He robbed two stagecoaches in Santa Barbara, then one out of Los Alamos on January 2nd.
He yelled for the driver to throw out the strong box, but the horses got spooked and
ran.
And he's not, and he's with the horses?
He was not with the horses.
The horses took off with the stagecoach.
Don't they have like reins and shit?
Yeah, but he clearly is doing.
He couldn't stop the stagecoach if it runs and they can't stop them like
What he keeps being thwarted by horses? He is the horses are a problem. The horses keep being his issue. Yes
He's going to die because of horses. Yeah
By the way, I just watched a video last night a guy
Doing doughnuts in LA in a McLaren in the middle of
the night and then just spins out and drives into a giant fucking building just like McLaren.
Oh God, so good.
It's a great time. So he, uh, he stops the same stagecoach six, six days later on its way back.
Okay.
And he just, he recognizes the driver and he makes him turn over his gold because
he escaped a week later when the horses took off.
Right.
So these robberies put the Sherlock Holmes of the West, James Hume, on, he's on him.
He's going after him.
Right.
And Hume feels, sorry, Hume and his special officer, Captain Charles Ayl, Ayl, went town
by town in Santa Clara Valley giving out posters to everybody.
He's a real Watson.
They just missed him at Murphy's Hotel in
Santa Cruz. They thought he was headed for San Francisco where he could hide better because
there's so many people. On January 26, Dick hitched a ride with two men in a wagon headed
for Mayfield. At a point, Dick asked the man to stop so he could get off
and head another way.
Okay. So he's kind of trying to throw him off his scent. He must know he's being followed
to some extent.
I think, yeah, he must know.
So he's like, that's the way to do it. That'll follow that. And then he just gets off and,
okay. The driver said, quote, no, I guess you'll be going with us.
And jumped on Dick.
What?
Jumped on Dick.
Stop.
Jumped on.
But wait, why would they, why?
Oh, cause they're trying to get him.
They're trying to turn him in.
And then there was a fight.
Constable Cornelius Van Buren was passing by
and jumped into the fight.
The San Jose Mercury.
Then Buren, quote, You are my prisoner, a desperate struggle ensued during which fellows was fell to
the ground. When he was disarmed and secured, it required the united efforts of all three men
who were unarmed to overpower him. Wow. Dick was turned over to a Santa Clara constable named Burke
Dick was turned over to a Santa Clara constable named Burke, and Burke found the stolen gold watch on him, which confirmed his identity, and he telegraphed ahead to San Jose to let
them know he was delivering the lone highwoman Dick Fellows.
Detective Hume wrote later, quote, Fellows began working upon Burke's self-conceit and lost no time in filling him up with the
important part he had played in affecting the capture, hinted at fabulous sums of money
he had stowed away, the result of his many robberies, for which there would be large
rewards offered until Burke became so inflated with his importance that he looked on Fellows
more as a benefactor
than a prisoner. This guy's my cash cow. Yeah, that was well done.
So at Mountain View, they stop for dinner and Burke brags to the bartender the importance
of who he has. And he starts to feel honored by the presence
and patronage of such a prisoner.
Wow, that's such a, what a weird chapter.
It's so weird.
I'm lucky to have him.
He's my best friend.
In San Jose, they rode right past the jail and entered the Arguello house saloon for a drink.
And fellows managed to pour out an extra large horn in spite of his handcuffs.
Horn. I kind of remember what a horn is, but I think it's just like a giant
amount of beer. Okay. Uh, after drinking, but he's pouring it out somehow,
I think is what they're saying instead of drinking it.
Oh, he's getting dude drunk.
I think so, yeah.
Right, okay.
After drinking, both left the saloon.
I'll tell you what, man, you really can't have a drink.
I can't.
You're real good.
You're real good.
Ah.
After drinking, both left the saloon. as they stepped out, the handcuff dick fellows
suddenly shoved Burke forward upon his face and ran away in the darkness.
Yeah, he just got up drunk and then pushed him down.
Why?
The slow Mickey.
I'm felon.
I mean, it's just like the idea that you're, I mean you're just, this is like a cash grab
and you can't stay sober for the day.
And it's just a random, but it's just, that's how everyone seemed to be.
Yeah, it's really crazy.
Well, what about if we get blackout drunk before you take me in?
Oh, I think my earphones.
So Burke and the bartender gave chase while shooting into the dark.
Okay.
Seems like they're doing a good job.
That's yeah.
Yeah.
Drunk guy and another guy shooting in the dark.
One of the shots regurgitate off the handcuff on Dick's left hand and grazed his palm.
I know, right? I mean, they shoot like oil next to him like, oh shit, fucking beautiful.
So he keeps running till he escapes.
Now there's about 50 men looking for him across San Jose.
And Dick breaks into a barn of a retired dentist named WF
Gunkel. I'm Dr. Gunkel and what I do is I remove the Gunkel from the mouth. It's
not a good name. It's not a good name. Look! It's not a good name. You know you
I call plaque Gunkel. It's not a good name for a know you I call plaque it's not a good name for a person
Okay, I'm like a goofy uncle. I like that fan. I'm your gun. Go. It's not oh
Yeah, it got worse. I'm
doctor
So hides out in his barn in the morning
He breaks into the cellar and steals some food and wine and beer and a hatchet to break the chain off his handcuffs.
It's amazing that when it comes to survival supplies, most of it's alcohol.
Yeah right.
Five days later, Gunkel goes to his barn to get some hay.
Gunkel goes to his barn?
Sounds like the first book you read a child.
So he's stabbing at the bale of hay and he hit dick who yells and jumps up.
That's what this hey just said actually.
Howdy.
He said he was a degenerate drunk who hid there because some boys had been pelting in
with rocks.
It would be a red flag if a man's first thing is like, oh, you see, I'm a degenerate drunkard.
Down on my luck. I have nothing left to lose. And some boys were throwing rocks at me.
I'm being harangued by children.
I'm a huge piece of shit. Don't shoot.
So Gunkel feels bad and helps helps Dick tidy up.
And seeing the Dick has no hat, he gave him an old hat.
You look ridiculous. You look terrifying, sir. Terrifying.
Come into Gunkel's closet, you hatless drunk.
So then Gunkel starts to lecture Dick about sobriety and...
Look, I mean, Dick's sitting like, uh-huh.
Look, I know why you're here.
You have a problem drinking.
Okay, so...
Booze can be really good.
Hey.
Cider, ales.
Yeah, I took a-
Even some of the hardest.
Hold on!
Okay.
You're too old for this.
You're too old for this.
What you need to do-
I'm 36.
Is find your-
Shut up.
What you need to do is find yourself a wife.
You're running around partying, beer ponging, probably butt chugging, doing all your weird
little stuff.
And look, that's fun for a while,
but you need to settle down, son, okay?
Don't let alcohol take the reins anymore.
Hey, listen, I'm older than you.
What are you?
You ever heard the name Gunkel?
Unfortunately, yes.
Until I am.
I've been all over my teeth.
Yeah.
Yep.
Maybe we should get married.
I don't think so.
I don't.
Okay.
Yeah, I push the pitch.
So he's trying to get dick sober.
So the lecturing him.
Yeah. So didn't it? So So that's lecturing him. Yeah.
So didn't it?
So as he's lecturing him, Dick just takes off running.
But hey, I'm not dead important.
At that point, Gunkel, Gunkel remembers this circular that he'd received about a
robber.
And he goes and tells the sheriff quote,, sorry, dick, quote, I stopped at a boarding
house and read an account of my escape in a newspaper.
Entering the canyon came to a cabin, a woman was there who told me her husband would soon
be back for supper and that if I would wait until he came back, I could have something
to eat. I had been there for a back, I could have something to eat.
I had been there for a short time
when the dog began to bark.
I supposed her husband was coming and it was not uneasy,
and a few minutes I learned my mistake.
Two San Jose cops enter the cabin with their guns out.
Okay.
So Dick is brought to the San Jose jail
to wait for Detective Hume to take
him to Santa Barbara for trial. Hume's probably excited. Yeah. For two days they
put him on display. So weird. 700 people come to look at the legendary stage
coachman in his cage. He's a guy. We got him in a cage so he can like an animal. This was worth it!
Yeah. Hey look! Look at him breathing. Look at that. Like a man. He is a human! Wow. So weird.
It's such a bizarre thing. They must have come from so far. So strange. Yeah. So like every, I mean, that's also for you.
You're like, yeah, hi.
Wow.
A man who robbed.
So tales of his exploits, they're a sensation in papers all across the country.
A cocktail, it was said he ordered right before his escape from Burke became popular in San
Jose.
On the ride to Santa Barbara, Hume interviews Dick and he confesses to six of seven stagecoach
robberies.
And Dick said, someone else did the $10 robbery on my birthday the previous summer.
He's like, I'm not going to cop to the $10 one.
Now this is purely an ego admission because he's just basically like, I'm not that pathetic.
I didn't do that.
Come on.
So the crimes you're admitting to, you'll get more time for, but the one you won't admit
to is that petty one that was, I don't work on my birthday.
Yeah, it's not great.
I didn't do that.
So over 100 people come to watch the trial and he defends himself
because the court could not wait for his lawyer to arrive from Oakland,
which seems not constitutional.
It seems like bullshit. Yeah.
It's kind of a part we get to defend yourself in the law.
Yeah, right. Yeah. You get you get in the law. Yeah, right. Yeah.
You get an attorney like, yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
That you're allowed to have that.
Is there one closer?
No.
No, just Oakland.
His defense was that Wells Fargo was engaged in illegal business.
So it wasn't a crime to steal from them.
So good.
Not wrong.
So good. Not wrong. So good.
Not wrong.
He tried to make a 49 page speech that he'd written about the difficulty of getting a
fair trial when a corporation was involved.
Again.
Again.
Not wrong.
God damn.
And the judge cut him off.
Well, 49 pages is long.
Oh, it's long.
Do you know how far in he made?
No, I don't know.
Like, no.
I mean, that's days, I would assume.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The judge cuts him off.
The jury finds him guilty on all counts.
He was sentenced to life in the full new Folsom prison and Dick said he had new lawyers and
he would appeal.
Well, a lawyer. Yeah, I got a new lawyer. It's not me. The guy finally got here. All right.
Now let's do this. How'd it go? Shit. I got convicted. You weren't here. Yeah. Sorry. Oakland
is so far. Yeah. I was walking backwards.
What?
From there to get to you, yeah.
Why?
I'm trying to break a record.
Well, that's fair.
Yeah.
So that's how to go.
That's why the crowd is here.
Yeah, they're excited.
I got convicted of robbing seven stagecoaches.
OK, I'll go back.
I'll get my papers, and then we can start an appeal.
The one I didn't do.
Right.
Or any of them.
Better.
Sure.
Okay.
Great to see you.
Good to see you.
Bye.
Are you backwardsing up too?
Yeah, I'm going to backwards to Oakland.
Yep.
So we can appeal about two to three years.
Okay.
On April 2nd, a deputy opened Dick's cell for breakfast and Dick jumped down from his
shelf quote, it's life or death for me and I'm going to get your revolver.
Just explain the whole thing.
Yeah.
I am surprising you to hopefully convince you that I'll be able to get out of here
quickly because I can't take this anymore. It's an escape, Jack.
I'm jumping from a shelf.
I've hopped from a higher ground to your level.
He took the deputy's gun, locked up the deputy and ran towards the Santa
Ynez Mountains.
The deputy's wife screamed and every cop on duty was immediately in pursuit.
Townspeople also joined in.
Dixie's a horse.
It is tied up to a stake and it is in the middle of a field.
Just don't fucking go to it.
This is going to work.
No, this is the one.
Just go to the mountain. No, it's like a
gift from God. No, it isn't.
It's going to like bite him.
He hops on the horse.
And it what?
But the horse was tied up all by itself
because it was recovering
from eating a plant called
Oxytropus
Capicitrus
known as Lco weed.
Sorry.
The horse he found was tripping?
Yep.
So he gets on the back of a tripping horse.
It has.
Brother, I'm a unicorn.
You need to put on some Floyd.
Okay.
It has severe neurological effects. I think it's very strange that you ride me.
I would imagine in some parallel universe I ride you.
Or maybe we don't ride each other.
Either way, every ride comes at a cost cost cost cost.
So this local weed has severe neurological effects
on horses, they become very dizzy, erratic,
and uncoordinated, like they're drunk.
Perfect.
So yeah, you got on a drunk horse.
Yeah.
Quite a choice.
There we go.
Dick kicked the horse in the ribs and it takes off.
He made it six blocks from the jail when the horse went into a fit and bucked.
And then Dick was thrown to the ground.
He was quickly surrounded with guns pointed at his face
and taken back to the jail and asked,
and he asked if he could have breakfast.
You know, I actually will take the eggs now.
Yeah, that was the whole jumping down thing.
I was,
I was trying to get some sauce for the Benedicts.
Sausages.
Some hollandaise.
Yeah.
In Folsom-
Boy, he picked a bad horse.
Yeah, he really did.
He picked the worst horse.
Yes.
In Folsom, he's a model prisoner again,
and he's the prison librarian,
and he used to teaching,
and he wrote letters to newspapers and obituaries for old
friends and countered when papers said he had done a crime that he had not done.
After 15 years, in 1896, he's 51 years old and people are asking for him to be pardoned.
They're like, okay, it's enough.
And the judge in his last trial petitioned the court, the sorry, the prison board for him to be pardoned.
And then Detective Hume is like, yeah, he should be pardoned.
As did the president of Wells Fargo.
Why? Just because he's like a national treasure in some way?
I think because he's so well behaved and gentlemen like that
everyone's like, well, come on. He didn't kill anybody or
anything. Like, it's not that bad.
No, he gave that guy $50.
Thank you.
Dick said he was old and would just go live a quiet life
south of the border.
And after 26 years, he is paroled by Lieutenant Governor
Warren Porter.
On March 8, 1908, Dick Fellows walked out of Folsom a free man.
And then a horse trampled him.
And then the horse killed him.
His sister met him at the train station and accompanied him back to Kentucky.
The train.
He was sitting on the train like, mm-hmm.
Back home, he went by the name Professor G. Britten Little and wrote, he never mentioned
his former life as Dick fellows.
He told the reporter after he got out of the Civil War prison camp, he went to Canada,
then Cuba, then South America and worked for railroads and his scars were from the war.
So he's just saying he's not, he's not that guy. Right. The San Francisco Call, quote, he was released on parole here in 1908 and is so completely
reformed that he has turned to writing fiction and magazine stuff under a name which need
not be disclosed here.
No, he is not a muckraker.
Wow.
No one in Kentucky knew that Dick Fellows and Professor G. Britten Little were the same
person.
The professor became the associate editor of the Mountain Advocate paper. Then he became
chief interpreter and translator in the offices of the Guatemalan Consulate General in New
Orleans. In 1915, he was appointed head interpreter at the days of 49 camp at the
Panama Pacific International Exposition in San Francisco, and he went. On the West Coast,
he was still Dick Fellows. This is from the San Francisco Examiner. The professor eventually
landed back in Kentucky. He traveled to Kentucky. To Kentucky? The professor eventually landed
back to Kentucky. Okay. The professor eventually landed back to Kentucky. He traveled the region
giving Spanish lessons. In 1920, US census lists him as a 72 year old single teacher,
Spanish teacher, living in the home of a sister and her husband. In 1922, he wrote a letter to the editor advocating for mandatory Spanish education in schools. He died sometime around 1932.
Hmm. God damn. He's almost almost 90 years old. Quite a life though. Yeah. Pretty crazy
life, right? Yeah. I also think it's like he was making the point back then that
was stealing from corporations. Yeah.
I mean, that's a, that's a Robin Hoodie long time kind of thing. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Good for you.
And it's a shame now that Robin Hood is just a, like a day trading app that, uh,
when people use GameStop, how fucked up is that?
So fucked up.
The app called Robinhood.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Completely shut people out of, you know, buying a stock to undo a hedge fund.
Yeah.
It's pretty cool.
Bankrupt hedge fund.
Sources, California Desperados,
stories of early California outlaws in their own words by William Seacrest, perilous trails,
dangerous men, early California stagecoach robbers and their desperate careers by William
Seacrest, bad company. The story of California's legendary stage robbers, bandits, hiremen
and outlaws by Joseph Henry Jackson. Outlaw tales of California true stories of the golden
state's most infamous crooks and culprits, cutthroats by Chris Enns. Outlaw Tales of California True Stories of the Golden State's Most Infamous
Crooks and Culprits Cutthroats by Chris Enns. Wells Fargo Detective, a biography of James
Hume by Richard Dillon. Articles in the Kern County Historical Society, Quarterly Bulletin,
the Tebecula Valley Historical Society, the Santa Barbara Independent, The South Valley Tribune, The Tehachapi News, Unmasked US History,
Yankee Barbarino?
Okay.
Yo, it's me, Yankee Barbarino.
Iki Civil War Blog, Stories of the Appalachian podcast, the history guy, and then press telegram,
Los Angeles Herald, Sacramento Bee, Sacramento Daily Union, Sacramento Calls, San Francisco
Examiner, Sonny's Up, Muckery News, San Luis Obispo Tribune, the Tracy Cross, the Mountain
Advocate, the Lexington Herald, the Ledger, the Little Bull Coral Journal, the Owensboro Messenger Enquirer, the Bourbon News, the St. Louis Globe Democrat, the Western Christian Advocate,
and the Knoxville Sentinel.
I got an idea for that.
Yeah, I think, you know, it's also so fucking crazy how old Wells Fargo is and how long they've been doing it.
And how long they've just been fucking terrible.
The worst.
Like how, like that's a great example of like a company being so bad for so long and they
still get to exist.
Well, but corporations are people, but just not, no punishment.
Yeah, no.
Like they should have gotten the death penalty ages ago.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, that's good.
It's always nice to end on a sad note somehow.
Yeah.
The only real blotch on that guy's record is the pro-slavery.
Yeah.
And he was young.
He was 15, 16, so we can maybe-
Oh God, we were all pro-slavery during our adolescence.
Hello?
We still rolling?
Action.
Hello?
Cut.
It's a good episode, dude.
Hey, do me a favor, cut out that part where I said that thing about the adolescent slavery
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