The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 73 - The Past Times with Randy Blythe
Episode Date: May 3, 2024Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds. This week they are joined by the singer of Lamb of God, Randy Blythe. Redbubble Merch Aura Frames - Cod...e TPT
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I have dollop tour dates to announce for the year 2024 of our Lord J town.
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All right, everybody.
Welcome to the past times podcast.
Each week we go through an old newspaper
from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony.
I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before
and neither is our guest this week.
Randy Blythe.
Hi, Randy.
How are you doing?
Welcome to the show.
We're off to a bad start.
It's not going good.
No, you mispronounced my last name.
Oh, did I?
Yeah, but no bite.
It's Blythe.
Blythe.
No, it's Blythe. Sorry. It's E-H-E is. It's Blith. Blith. No, it's Blythe.
Sorry.
The T-H-E is silent like the P in swimming.
It's Blythe.
It's Blith.
Yeah, it's Blith.
It's Blythe.
Oh, this is so awkward.
Well, the best was in-
You're in the band Lamb of Goad.
Yes.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, we'll get to your credit.
What were you gonna say?
Lamb of Chode.
Yeah.
That's us.
What, I mispronounced it at the show when I did it?
Yeah. The T-H-E is silentonounced it at the show when I did it? Yeah. Oh, man.
The T-H-E is silent like the P in swimming.
But nobody knows that.
It's always actually very nice when
I get to wrong someone's name on these shows,
for I have had war crimes committed against me.
I called you Garrett in a messed room.
Yeah, you did.
Yes.
Like an idiot.
Well, because we go back and forth on,
we send a lot of videos about cats and about, yeah, for a, so you're the lead singer of Lamb of God, which is an amazing, I'm sure
most people I'm sure know of Lamb of God.
You guys have been around for a while.
About 30 years.
You tour all the time.
We do.
You are someone, I name drop you.
That's.
And apparently incorrectly.
But, but I name drop you pretty often,
and everyone's like, wait, what?
And then the best part is that when I'm doing that,
I'll be like, yeah, this is his cat,
and they'll be like, what's going on?
Because it feels a bit incongruent with your stage persona.
But you're a lovely man.
You're going to be doing a tour with Mastodon soon,
which is one of the things we'll promote. Yes this summer
Co headliner for the 20th
Year anniversary of our record ashes of the wake and their record Leviathan
That's an elephant for people to know that's an elephant themed band. Yes. Yeah
Ancient elephants. Yeah, that's what we call them good and
And then you also I think we'll have by far the biggest, nobody ever breaks news on
our history podcast, but you have an announcement.
Yes, I have an announcement. I wrote a book several years ago called Dark Days, it did
pretty well.
Yep, an amazing book.
I've been screwing around and saying I'm going write another one eventually and now I have.
It's with the editor right now.
He told me he was gonna get me the final draft back this week, I believe.
But it will be coming out, it looks like February of 2025 and
it is entitled Just Beyond the Light.
There it is, Hot Break Noon.
Nobody knows this yet.
Wow.
Do you admit to killing a puppy in this book?
Yes, the dog does die.
But it's more on brand for you rather than a governor of a state.
Right. It's crazy how much that, I heard someone at Book Soup yesterday talking about,
there was an author talk there and they're like, a dog actually dies in the book
and people really get upset about that.
Yeah, people don't like dogs dying.
I actually heard this comedian, I wish I could remember who the comedian is, but he tells
this story and he's like, he's this Irish comedian. He's like, and you know, my father
died and he died that night and that night my mother says, you got to tell her, tell
the dog about your dad passing. And I told the dog, I said, dad's gone, he's gone.
And the dog looks at me and got right up
and sat in his fucking chair,
and everyone in the crowd goes, aw.
And he goes, the weird part is this,
when I mentioned my father died,
nobody said a fucking thing.
So I made up a bit about a fucking dog
who never existed.
That's great.
But yeah, it's crazy.
Well, I think your biggest credit is that you went on tour for two years and you wore
two different dollop shirts.
That's kind of how we got in contact with each other a little bit was people kept going
like, hey, are you aware of this?
And we were just kind of like, what the fuck?
Like you wore this, but not like it wasn't in your rotation.
You specifically wore two dollop shirts for two years.
And then at the end of the two years, you, well, we did, but mainly you auctioned off
these shirts, even though it ended up not even really being an auction, but you made
a lot of money for the homeless with this great act.
And I mean, we are forever in your debt, but it was a pretty pretty fucking awesome pretty fucking awesome when people are like you know the lead singer
Lamb of God is like wearing a dollop shirt yeah every fucking show and
another cool thing about those shirts is and is that I work with a foundation
called living the dream yeah and they bring people with terminal or severe
life-threatening illnesses to shows to
meet bands. Wow. You know, younger people, young adults, and children. And so the
first person I met for them was a young lady from near Chicago, and I gave her...
the person who won the auction for the shirts is like, keep the shirts and give them to
someone who would cheer the day.
So I gave one to this girl. And then- Did she know the podcast?
No. And then two days ago, I gave the other one to a young man I met in Vegas at the Sick New World
Festival who has terminal bone cancer. So I'm like, here's the other one of these.
I wore this at every single show in 2023.
So it made his day.
And it was, you know.
No, you are a lovely man.
And might I mention a huge fan of our podcast.
I am.
I'm really kind of nervous about being here with you
Which is crazy. I'm kind of stuck on a guy who's last day is he has to spend telling people
About a podcast. He doesn't know
Listen, we'll take any any promotion will take it
But yeah, the fact that you're you play
Enormous shows and you're nervous to be here, which
is amazing.
Which is hilarious.
I listen to you guys all the time, especially when I'm driving to go surf.
Yeah, well, we appreciate it.
So you know the deal with this show.
We like to start off with a guess from this weird newspaper Dave has.
I, because I'm the professional, will guess first, then it'll be your turn.
And I'm going to guess, because you're doing two episodes with us, so I'm the professional will guess first then it'll be your turn okay and I'm going to guess because you're doing two episodes with us so I'm gonna guess
he's gonna bounce around in time and I'm gonna guess this one's early so I'm
gonna guess this one is 1903 so I'm gonna guess for this one.
Man that's weird yeah I get a guess now too yeah Because I wanted to say 1938.
Oh, okay, all right.
That was in my head.
Okay, all right, good.
All right, well.
1938!
It's 1922.
I think it's split the difference.
I think you win.
I think you win.
You win.
Because you're the guest.
No splitting the difference.
We're going into the roaring 20s.
Yeah, that's right. Great era, ends great, and're going to the roaring 20. Yeah, that's right great era
Yeah, and great and leads us to the roaring 30s right after yes. Yep. It is the Tombstone weekly epitaph
Wow, what a fucking Arizona. Yeah, Tombstone, Arizona
Timson epitaph it would have what a name for a paper. Yeah, right
I never heard that before the obituary section. Yeah, the obituary section.
Massive.
That's the whole paper.
And...
Let's see, page one, Phoenix detective accidentally
shot when pistol drops.
Oh, wow, he did one of those.
Yeah, he did a classic.
That's a classic.
That is a classic.
That's one of those ones in movies where you're like,
come on.
Is he a Pinkerton guy?
I hope so.
Let's hope so.
Yeah, what was he?
John Sullivan, chief detective of the Arizona Eastern Railroad
System.
Yeah, he's basically a Pinkerton.
He's a Pinkerton.
Was taken to St. Joseph's Hospital
early this morning after he accidentally
shot himself through the wrist in the yard office.
Well, that's not, I was hoping it was better.
A wrist is...
I mean, a wrist'll fucking hurt.
I know, but I want it to go into a pinderton.
Of course.
Think into the pinderton part.
In the yard office?
Yeah, in the yard office.
Yeah, in the yard office.
That's what a kid has.
That's what a kid has.
I'm a pinderton man, and I need to interview you.
Welcome to the yard office.
Sullivan was reading a magazine in the office
while he absorbed in the story his revolver,
an old fashioned 32 caliber double barrel affair
fell from its holster and struck the floor,
sending the bullet through the Sullivan.
It didn't fall.
How, your gun is not falling from your holster. The holsterster the whole story the whole point of the that's a holster lawsuit this story is bullshit
Yeah, it's a dog fall from the holster. Yeah reading guns and ammo weak
He was a hundred percent jacking off or he was just spinning it. Well, that's what I was thinking at first, too
But I mean if you're that into reading he was probably reading a little porn, which is how they had it back then. That's right.
The bullet penetrated the right wrist and sped on its way
until it lodged in the ceiling of the office.
Wow, yeah.
Where it remains to this day.
I hope so.
Sullivan, the police say, lost about a half a pint of blood
before he was taken to the hospital.
His wound is not considered serious.
So he was just bleeding and they're like, really?
I mean, we gotta go to the hospital.
He's just bleeding out and he's like,
I'm not going to just finish this article.
It went clear through, it's fine.
Yeah, I wanna see how this ends.
Yeah, well, he lived.
So he was kind of a Pinkerton.
I wonder if he kept his job.
That's a good question too.
He probably did. That's not really good for job. That's a good question. He probably did.
That's not really good for job security as a detective, shooting yourself in the face.
But I don't think they cared back then.
I also would lie.
I would lie.
Yeah, I think he did lie.
He lied.
There's no way the holster just dropped the gun.
You think he was doing one of these?
He was doing something.
Yeah.
It's hard to not do the spinning.
You want any guns?
No comment.
I'm from Virginia.
He asked you.
I am a gun.
Roads Too Crowded for Arizona Man takes to air with his family.
Whoa, what?
What is it, like the Rocketeer?
What year is this?
1922.
I don't know what's going on.
That's what I've always wanted to do that.
I've sat in a lot of traffic and I've never been like, that's it.
You're fucked this, we're flying.
Infinity and beyond.
Infinity and beyond. 1922. I don't know what's going on. I've always wanted to do that. I've sat in a lot of traffic and I've been like, that's it.
You're fucking with my mouth.
Finity and beyond.
I said, is San Diego this story?
OK, muttering has lost its kick for Mr.
and Mrs. John Mays of Yuma.
Well, why is the story out of San Diego?
I got it. They're from Yuma.
Yeah. Oh, wait. right. You was Arizona. Yeah
This is a story
That someone in San Diego told us about a Yuma man
And besides the highways are too crowded with automobiles these days
That's great. But if only they knew like I know right 20s. Yeah, right
So when the maze decided they wanted to visit San Diego they climbed into the family airplane and hit the air lanes
They've lost me. Yeah, so they're out so they're rich. Yeah
Yes, this is like when Caitlyn Jenner was like running for governor and she was like I was talking to someone at a private airport
About their jet and the hangar and he told me that he's never seen gas prices this high.
You're like, sorry, who the fuck is your anecdotal
Joe the Plumber drop?
I was talking.
Where Mays avers, what does avers mean?
A-V-E-R-S?
Averse?
No, averse, averse has an E on the end. Well, it depends. A-V-E-R-S? A-Verse? A-Verse? A-Verse has an E on the end.
A-V-E-R-S?
E, right?
Yeah, I think there is an E.
Randy's an author, he knows.
May's a-verse?
But that doesn't make sense.
May's a-verse.
There is plenty of elbow room and an ever-changing panorama of scenery.
Are they seriously explaining why the sky is better than the freeway?
So look, you-
When you get into the air, there's a lot less cars.
And there's a view.
And a view, you can see everything.
If I had just taken the sky, the airplanes of Uber,
from Hollywood, I would have been here in five minutes.
A lot faster.
Why didn't I think of that?
Yeah, faster.
And we will eventually have Uber plane,
and there will be a lot of-
I think there are Uber planes.
There's Uber helicopter in New York City.
I like, it's time to start, you know what I mean?
The apes need to take over.
The calling is coming.
I watched one of the Planet of the Apes movies last night,
and I was like, yeah, they could,
yeah, they'd probably do it better.
The apes?
Oh, fuck yeah.
But they're not great either.
They're not great, but give them a shot.
Yeah.
I mean, a lot of their thing is they're just like
kind of pissed off, right?
Some are more pissed off than others, but yeah.
I mean, they have a pretty firm cast system.
Yes, there's definitely, yeah.
Yeah, there's a cast system.
I'm not saying it's the best.
Are you pushing a cast?
It'd be great to run on the ape cast system.
Bernie Sanders it.
We need to run an ape cast system.
Free health care from Dr. Zayas.
Dr. Zayas.
Dr. Zayas is running stuff. The pandemic would have gone a lot better if Dr. Zayas is running stuff. Yeah. The pandemic would have gone a lot better if Dr. Zayas had.
I agree.
I agree.
No doubt.
It could have gone worse.
The maze arrived at North Island a few days ago,
and after literally dropping anchor.
Gross.
From a plane?
What's happening
I don't know planes work Disney movie dropping anchor yeah okay means you back
how high up were they when they drop they ain't I would think they would they
would fall pretty quickly that's like a cartoon yeah I'm thinking the plane
totally yeah yeah that way we stay So flying over the mountain range in Yuma, there's like mountains there.
Yeah, the anchor catches a tree.
By the way, how what, five, ten years away from Boeing putting anchors in their plane?
Maybe I'm sure they are.
Drop the anchor. Yeah, drop the wheels down anchors off.
Mays asked permission of aviation authorities to park his plane
while he and Miss Mays were
Doing San Diego. Whoa
So they said this is a swing. It's amazing Mays SD pineapples down. You know what I mean?
Oh, you what are you talking swinging? I think yeah, I think they're swingers. Yeah, I've decided
Did you get the pineapple reference? We heard that before of course
We've done. We can't use that as an excuse for everything.
We've done some of these rock cruises.
Yeah.
And people have stickers and signs on their doors
for everything.
And then you see a pineapple on the door.
Yeah.
What a pineapple.
It's time to get friendly.
I don't know why.
I bet we could find,
I bet that's really easy to find out why a pineapple.
There definitely is some guy who just walked into an orgy
looking for fresh pineapple before. Cause that's not as to find out why a pineapple. There definitely is some guy who just walked into an orgy looking for fresh pineapple before
because that's not as well known as I think.
You could probably murder Brian who is on Twitter who does a podcast called Guys.
He's right now, or he's done a lot of Swinger guys.
So he would be the guy to go to with the pineapple.
He's done a lot of Swinger guys?
No, he's covered them on his podcast.
Maybe he's done some research.
But Dave, I don't know if covered helps you in this time,
to be quite honest.
This is just research.
No, I covered a lot of guys on my podcast.
Yesterday morning, the couple reported back to North Island.
Mays picked up the anchor, and in another minute,
they were bound for home.
This isn't a thing.
The block.
I mean, is he just talking about the blocks you put
under a plane? Is it a biplane? I don't know.
No, it's a plane.
They, no.
But is it a water plane?
I don't think so.
Okay.
I don't either.
That's a good...
Well, I'm just trying to think of when you need an anchor on a plane.
People that cruise into Alaska on those things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
To go out and get eaten by grizzlies and things.
You know we're going to get all these people, of course there's an anchor on a plane, right?
Yeah.
Well, yes, of course.
It must be a biplane.
I don't think so. Okay. Well, yes, of course. It must be a biplane. I don't think so.
Okay.
Well, he would say that.
Like, he's very into what the story is, this guy.
I don't know.
He's very detailed.
You're really detailed.
You fall in love with this guy?
No, I'm just saying, this guy doesn't leave stuff out.
He's putting too much in there.
Okay, Jesus.
We've read like 80 words.
You're like, I mean, you know what I mean?
Am I wrong?
It feels like, Dave and this guy ought to get a room with a pineapple on the door. I'll turn it upside down and back up. You know what I mean you you know what I mean? It's my wrong It feels like this Dave and this guy ought to get a room with a pineapple on the dog
I'll turn it upside down and back up. You know what I mean? What's?
Mays purchased the airplane from the War Department for $500 and qualified as a pilot. Mm-hmm
Perkid air play from the word 1922. So I've had a World War one Doesn't seem like that much airplane. It's 1922. So he bought a World War I used airplane.
Doesn't seem like that much.
It's got to be a piece of shit.
It's got to be a piece of shit.
Did they even have biplanes back then?
Why are you looking at me on this podcast?
Why, you threw down.
What year's the biplane from?
Hey Gareth, what year's the biplane invented?
Oh no.
Your deep background in aeronautics. Well look, Randy, you know me.
I love to read.
I'm a big history guy.
I thought Benjamin Franklin was a president
and that was confronted on this podcast directly
in quite a time.
Hey Randy, you didn't think Ben Franklin
was a president, did you?
No.
Okay, good stuff. He's the guy on the money. Well, a lot of the
presidents are also on the money, Randy, so you could see how someone could fall
into that. He's on the big money. The big bill. Well, that's fine. I believe Grant
is on the thousand. That's true. No, you're right. It was vented very early, the
biplane. Well, the first plane. I'll tell you what, you're right. It was vented very early, the biplane.
Well, the first plane.
I'll tell you what, you pay $500 for a plane.
Any plane's a biplane.
Do you know what a biplane is?
Yeah.
What is it?
Men and women.
No, it's got the little floaties.
You land on the water.
It's a wing on the top and a lower wing.
It's got two wings.
Yes, the first.
Every plane has two wings, a right and a left.
We'll be right back.
I knew you were talking about water planes.
Yeah, water planes.
Yeah, that's what I meant.
Not a lot.
There's no way they had water planes in the 20s.
It would just sink.
Why?
Wait, here's the plane.
I mean, the planes were.
15? No, 15? Yeah. 15 what? 1915? Wait, here's the plane. I mean the planes were 15.
No 15.
Yeah, 15 what late 1915 late 18 something.
Okay, first successful flight was on Kitty Hawk, North Carolina on the Outer Banks.
What day?
What day?
I can't remember.
It was 1898.
Maybe 1898.
Did you say are you are, let's see how...
Yeah, we'll see.
By the way, if you get this right,
you can permanently be on this podcast.
1898 or 1871, I think.
They had a biplane.
Aircraft designed in 1902.
Wright Brothers first flight.
1902.
First flight, they were born in 1871, so right there.
Still, they couldn't hold that off.
They were teenagers, right, when they right there. Still, I couldn't hold that off. They were teenagers right when they flew?
Yeah, but an 1890 teenager is.
Damon, the first controlled sustained flight
of an engine powered on December 17th, 1903.
1903, wasn't that bad.
Close, you're very close.
That's the year, I guess, for the paper.
It happened at Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina,
on the other banks of North Carolina.
Wow, here we go.
I surf there quite often.
You can go there, I've been to the spot.
When you're surfing, do you ever drop an anchor?
Only if I had some really bad food that I had before.
Yeah, okay, all right, good.
I think the lead singer of Love God
is sharding on his board.
Dropping anchors.
I only try and do that during warm weather.
It's rough when you're in a wetsuit and you drop anchor.
No, it's not the same.
You're not dropping anchor.
You're keeping it in.
I've been very, very concerned that it's gonna happen.
I can't contest.
Yeah.
Boy.
What Patreon level is that to get you to shit in your wetsuit?
I mean, yeah, no, once I paddled out of the water really fast,
got in my car and drove to the nearest state beach
Barely made it okay
See you at Yosemite next summer was May's parting word to interested lookers on as the family Airbus took off
Okay, this story was fucking crazy. Yeah. It should not have been a story anywhere
Oh, I've never seen other rich people fly to San Diego to bang whoever they're sick of
Yeah, they're sick of peasants. So they fly. Yeah. Yeah. I've never seen how the papers are laid out before
It's interesting. Is it? Yeah, it's kind of crazy
Gareth Mother's Day is coming up. I got my mom this Mother's Day gift. It's the Aura digital frame, Wi-Fi
connected. So you can just share pictures right off your phone to your moms.
Look, anyone will like this.
Yeah, anyone.
But my mother is going to lose her mind over this.
So I have three. One is just for dogs. There's always a new dog picture. lose their mind over this.
Sure.
Sure.
Yes, they really are.
No, it's great. And so look, you can get them for grandmothers,
you can get them for aunts, all the women that have the children, ones that don't have
children, just buy them a frame. Right. It was named best digital photo frame by Wirecutter
and one of Oprah's favorite things. Right now, Aura has a great deal for Mother's Day.
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Terms and conditions apply.
Uh, hobos become annoying here.
Oh my god, no.
No! Modern day. Oh my god, no! No!
Modern day.
Oh, fuck.
Get the plane.
Yuma.
Many hobos.
What is it with Yuma?
Is everybody calling it Yuma?
Yeah, I'm gonna do it in the guy's voice who wrote this.
Many hobos are passing through Yuma
and the streets each day are lined with transients.
Most of them are living off the country as they go
and are causing more or less inconvenience
and annoyance to businessmen
whom they are approaching for assistance.
Oh my God.
This is just, this is literally a guy walking to work
who's annoyed that somebody asked him for money
and then wrote a story about it.
It's a prequel to the Great Depression.
Yeah, oh yeah, right, yeah.
And by the way, this guy in a few years
is about to lose his fucking mind.
Yeah.
He's just about to be like, they're all hot.
He's gonna be like, I'm sick of me.
Yeah.
I'm a hobo.
Yeah, it's how people got around a lot of the times
when they're in depression a few years later
to go look for work, to get on a train and go somewhere.
Yeah. That's right.
My grandfather did that. He hopped freights from Texas to Tennessee several times looking for work. You get on a train and go somewhere. That's right. My grandfather did that.
He opfrates from Texas to Tennessee several times.
Look for work.
Fuckin' hell.
You should do that.
I'll just do cameo.
If push comes to shove, I'll just do cameo for $8.
I'll get you a... I'll give you my code.
Your cameo code?
Yeah.
Are you on cameo?
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
That's how I fund my reforestation project.
See, this is what we need to be doing.
We need to bring Randy into everything
Seriously, and can I ask what your cameo rate is?
Right now. Yeah, I think it's $75. That's where that's good. See mine would be like 30 and I'd feel bad
Gareth did have a comedian that I hate send me a cameo. Oh, it's not great as me, right? It was great
It was great punk rock guilt kept me from doing it for a cameo. It was great. It was great.
Punk rock guilt kept me from doing it for a long time.
Yeah, that's where we are. But then I, uh,
I bought this piece of land in Ecuador. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. Pandemic. I was like spent a particularly large sum of money on it.
I'm like, well, I'll make it back. I'll go on tour and then no
cameo it is. So I was like I need to make some money to pay for this property I've never even walked on on another continent. Are you gonna go there anytime soon? Oh I've been yeah last year there's been a
little narco disturbances down there as a plate. I said I was sorry. Oh yeah. Yeah.
I think he's saying he can get us blow.
No, no, no he can't.
He used to be able to though.
He can still get it.
Yeah, he just can't do it.
You can just watch us.
Which is actually, the best part of blow
is always being the sober guy in the crew.
It's called, it's called cuck blow.
So let's go back to you Mo.
Yeah.
We haven't even made it through two stories.
Sorry.
Douglas Burglars caught in El Paso.
Henry Lawton and James...
Are these the guys who steal Douglas's?
Yes.
Henry Lawton and James Barnhart,
alleged to be the parties who recently burglarized
the Beecroft and Lewis secondhand store in Douglas
Wow
I mean if you're gonna burglarize go to a first. Yeah. Yeah, this is a pawn shop, right?
That's what they well like a Goodwill or something. Yeah, something like that. That's what I was thinking. Yeah more along the thrift store
Yeah, yeah
Look at this recliner that makes you itch
Hey, I got a smock!
Hey, look at these golf pants in size 42.
It's going to be great.
Hopefully no one will ever miss this shit.
Hopefully no one will have scabies after we get this shit.
Harry, why do you have so many bowling shirts?
No reason.
You know anybody who wants a good bowling shirt?
Look at all these ashtrays! Full of smoke like kings!
These glasses aren't my prescription at all!
Hey, we got to get out of here! I hear the cops!
They just drive away with a truck full of like, knickknacks that we'd fit on Grandma's show.
Porcelain ducks and shit.
Yeah, just like, games that don't work.
Look at all these ashtrays!
Look at all these ashtrays! Yeah.
Today they were lodged in the county jail, having been apprehended in El Paso on information
and descriptions furnished by the sheriff's office.
Okay.
Lawton is believed to have been the leading factor in the job, as Barnhart is but a youth.
Okay.
A quantity of the stolen goods was found on the persons of the two prisoners, but they had disposed
of about half of the loot before arrested.
That's a quantity.
It's a strange move to get rid of half of the shit.
Right.
Because it's like, if you know they're on your tail,
then get rid of all the shit.
Maybe it was just stuff they didn't want.
They donated.
Yeah.
This is my favorite tchotchke.
Yeah.
Like that's what the cops did.
It's a lot of tchotchkes for a couple of guys.
What can I tell you, sir?
We like tchotchkes.
We're tchotchke men.
And then he puts it in some water.
And he's like, if this turns pink, it's second hand.
Put your hands behind your back, sir. No, I swear to God, they're my tchotchkes.
My grandma gave them to me.
Hands up, drop the tchotchkes.
Yeah.
Hey kid, why don't you tell me why you have
a bread box table?
Huh?
We just love to make bread.
Walk me through the recipe.
Separate them, have them each tell you the recipe.
Okay.
It's part of the new show, Breaking Bread.
A quantity of the stolen...
Okay, we already did that.
In Columbus, New Mexico, Barnhart says a soldier held him up and took one of the watches.
The loot was...
Oh, here we go.
Here's what they took.
The loot was compromised of revolvers, watches, pocket knives, et cetera.
Oh, wow. It was a pawn wow. It's a pawn shop. Yeah
So they just yeah, okay that makes a little more sense. Yeah, this is a better
They're not a complete idiot
No, but just a lot of monogrammed handguns
How many sets of initials do you have son?
Laudin admitted to the officers that he is wanted in Birmingham, Alabama for holding up a man
while he was in that city in October,
traveling with the Cells Floato Circus.
I was part of the Cells Floato.
He's a carny.
He's a fucking carny.
He is.
You should automatically arrest all carneys
when they cross the border.
Oh, good lord, here we go.
You hear comedy trump.
They're taking our circus gigs.
They're coming here with their weak trapezes
and their tight ropes that are loose.
Loose tight ropes.
Runaway youths.
And this is quite a time.
Yeah.
Yeah, a lot of transitioning.
Willard Santiba and John Crozier, two El Paso youths who were taken in tow at Douglas
a few days ago and brought to the juvenile branch of the county jail, pending receipt
of word.
Oh, and now we got to go find the rest of the, of Word.
It's so interesting to watch you do it.
I've never seen this.
Of Word from their parents,
were this morning started back home by the Sheriff's Office.
Young Crozier is a nephew of A.E. Crozier.
No shit.
Of this city, and after his arrival,
decided that he would like to make his permanent residence
here.
The boys originally set out with the avowed intention.
What is this story about so far?
Two guys who ran away, two kids.
Yeah, okay.
That's what I thought.
But it's, okay.
There's a lot of filler.
Yeah, it's also like, okay, yeah, I would imagine this was common.
The boys originally set out with the avowed intention of seeing, well, the problem is
they haven't set out how old they are.
Right.
I think, but this is one of those places where everybody knows how old they are right, right? I think but this is one of those Knows how old they are you know I mean, okay
The boys originally set out with the avowed intention of seeing the world, but this plan was interrupted by officers and Douglas
Well, it's all about Douglas. Yeah. Yeah, I was on Douglas
When the boys reached the smelter city and could give no reason why they were there. They have no ingots
and could give no reason why they were there. They have no ingots?
They're not ready to melt it?
You don't look prepared to melt anything down, young man.
You boys even smelting? What's going on?
You don't look like the smelting sort to me, son.
Walk me through a smelt.
It's time for you to get on back to El Paso, boy.
That's it.
The parents of the boys wired transportation to the sheriff's office for their return home and this morning they were placed on the train
The conductor will turn the lads over
Or conductor had a lot of work to do back then. I would just think it was just just
Tram now. He's a fucking baby. He's a bounty hunter. So yeah
Who Melters on the loose
The conductor will turn the lads over to the conductor on the main line for delivery Wow
What these conductors are doing like a pass off?
Yeah, I see you transfer ticket boys. So these are the smelt liars
the smeltees
Smeltees rogue smeltees running across America These are the smelt liars. The smelties. These are the smelties. Like the Newseys. These are the smelties.
Rogue smelties running across America.
Rogue smelties.
Sounds like a Jersey sandwich shop.
You don't come into Douglas acting like you know how to smelt them, you don't.
That's why I say you ever smelt and dealt it.
Dan, stop pitching that one.
Think about it
His name is coffin his mother name was dies. Whoa, huh
Are you rapping? Yeah, okay Charlie
Sorry, Stanley coffin of Phoenix, Arizona manager of the are you spelling it like grave coffin or like it's exactly how you would think
It's coffin. Yeah, it's coffee. Okay the pine box. Yeah the pine box
Stanley coffin of Phoenix, Arizona manager of the Western States Security Company
Who was a business visitor here yesterday said that his mother's maiden name was dies D IES mm-hmm so this and that's a news story this story it's a very slow week its story is really hitting for boy I heard
something yesterday I'm gonna put in the paper boy I'll heard. Ha ha ha. Cough and dies. A big reveal for the newspaper.
You know, I have a more up to date version of that.
My old neighbors growing up were the Graves.
Guess what they did for a living.
Oh, come on.
Morticians?
They killed people.
Wow, fucking A.
They were us.
They were us. They were us. They were us. They were people. They were undertakers. They were in a funeral home.
That's crazy. So what was their funeral home called? The Graves Funeral Home, I believe.
I mean everyone was like, obvious. Great people. Can I meet you? Great people. Grave people. They had a
terrifying Doberman Pinscher. I was afraid he was going to kill me. Well, if he did. They'd probably have to use their services. If he did, yeah, exactly.
It's right next door.
Coffin said, my name is Coffin and her name was Dye.
Yeah, yeah, we get it, dipshit.
Anything else ever happen to you?
Then some people wonder why I am a dead one.
What is going on?
What the fuck does that even mean?
This guy really knows how to spin a yarn.
The 22.
Yeah.
Prohibition was in effect at this point.
Yep.
Yeah, right?
Okay.
So this, are you, is your point here
that things are so fucking boring?
Maybe they were just too drunk to realize
that's a bullshit story.
Okay, all right, yeah.
I thought it was like, instead of alcohol,
people were like, that's pretty good.
That bathtub gin.
That's pretty good.
Man, I wish there was some booze around I got another story
I'm out of here. I can't keep doing this honestly
Over in Douglas there is a man by the name of CW death a life insurance agent stated coffin I
Suggest that death and I form a partnership and go into the undertaking business and then go over to tombstone and advertise in the epitaph
This this story is
Not at all anything. It's about an idea that you and I could come up
Yes, but it really the only thing that it has is coffins and dyes and then the rest of him is like
There's also a guy like he he's just got dumb story.
And a town called Tombstone.
Yeah, I should move there.
There's a doctor named Coma.
Imagine that.
All right, dude, listen, honestly,
it's like there's a word count on this.
They literally just wrote a story
about a guy who came to town and said something.
Yeah. Yes.
And then they were like, but he has,
he's got a lot to, it's really good.
Yeah.
There's a brothel and a woman's named Fux.
You believe that?
Her son.
Is Dong.
Is Dong.
Dog Fux.
Can you believe it?
I should have my own paper.
The weekly woe.
Oh man.
Dynamite fails to help friends find missing Miami man.
This is going gonna be weird.
Miami?
Yeah Miami as well as, well we're gonna go look for Tom.
Get that dynamite.
So he's a miner.
The body of R.H. Merritt still remains undiscovered.
According to reports received from Roosevelt and Miami
at midnight.
Well, if he don't make it, I know a guy named Coffin.
He does.
An all-day search was again conducted
over a six-mile stretch of the Salt River today
with more than 200 friends and acquaintances
of the missing man participating.
I like even- Did they all have dynamite?
Yeah. No wonder nothing got found. acquaintances of the missing man participating I like even all have dynamite
What no wonder nothing might got found they're all just
Sorry, that was my neighbor Jeff
Let's see a Lot of people have died now
We blowed up the beach. We can't find any of them. Everyone's dead
During the morning and early afternoon the leaders of the searching parties
Dynamited pools and other deep places in the river in the hope that the
Concussion would send the body to the surface of the stream. Holy fuck. They are really
Just hoping. They're like dynamite fishing for a dude. That's some good old redneck fishing.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't feel like casting a line today. Worms. Hand me that quarter stick son.
I know how to bait. There you go. You want to send someone down in the river with like a
hose apparatus that... Nope. Look at that guy shitting while he's surfing
Talks a little dynamite. He's self dynamite drop an anchor left and right out of there
But as it was feared that method was unsuccessful
Interest in the hunt has been increased by the offer of a
250 reward made by what an amazing order to reward last. Yeah. Dynamite the river.
250. I know.
Made by the Miami copper company yesterday. However,
those who have been looking for the body since merit was first reported to be
missing, believed that time alone will disclose the fate of the Miami man
So who is this guy? Why is he so important? I have no idea. Yeah, so they're just they blew the river to shit
Mm-hmm, then they're like off for a reward and then they'll turn up. He'll turn we'll find him pieces
Yeah
I mean the fish are just like, what the fuck?
We're looking for a man!
Hell!
Hell!
That's fucking, I mean, that's just so like people,
like who cares what it does?
Well that was, yeah, like, yeah.
Like, you know, you always gotta think of what
the Native Americans are, good.
Wow. Good, good, good. Wow.
Good, good, good.
Wow.
We're looking for our friend.
The Seminole down there.
Yeah.
Oh, the white people have come with dynamite again to the swamp.
What are they trying to catch?
No, no, they're looking for a friend.
I'm sorry I asked.
It doesn't give them a lot of credit.
We found
part of him
I mean, seriously the odds of they blew him to be probably blew him up. Yeah, they probably
Someone had to be like some guy had to pitch it and someone else had to be like, that's good.
Yeah.
Let's go.
And then, yeah.
And then 200 friends and acquaintances.
I do like that there are other people like, you're not going to be included in the friend
count for this measure.
Well, what?
So someone's just like-
He didn't know you that good.
Someone's just like, some of his friends are going down, some of Merritt's friends are
going down to the river to blow stuff
Up and and guys like can I go and throw dynamite?
I hate when people go missing may I come with some dynamite and try to find this man to pop
Can't wait
Hobo snake on rods of coach seen at Bowie hobo snake on rods of coach seeing that Bowie.
Hobo snake?
Hobo snake on rods of coach.
So I'm assuming it's not a gym teacher boner.
Hobo snake, is that what it's called?
No, so it's a train, so there was a weird snake on a train.
Yeah, but how did you get to, oh, cause the coach.
There's motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking train!
Yeah, cause the coach.
This is out of Globe.
Earth?
Yeah, it's from the Earth.
Right in the Rods has been credited
with being an exclusive accomplishment of the genius hobo.
It's not genius is spelled incorrectly,
which is the best part. And by the way,
they are showing great respect to the hobo. It's not genius is spelled incorrectly, which is the best part. And by the way, they are showing great respect to the hobo snake, but to the transient people,
they're disgusted.
Correct?
Is that what's happening?
We'll see.
Okay.
An American, oh sorry, and I don't know why I'm just making up words right now.
It's fun.
An Arizona Eastern, yeah.
You find it.
An Arizona Eastern brake man at Bowie Saturday, just before the passenger train left for Globe, said that there are other tourists who can ride rods.
Superintendent Max Builder, who was at Bowie, called the attention of the brake man to the
fact that there was something wrong under a coach.
The brake man looked under and then as quickly
looked out again, he got a stick and returned.
The intruder proved to be a giant gopher snake
coiled about one of the rods ready to start for globe.
The brakeman killed the would-be traveler.
Why?
Why didn't he just run over him?
Yeah.
No, because he's in the wheel.
So?
Of a train?
Of a coach
He's wrapped like this spoke a coach meaning like one of those horse and buggy things. Yeah
Oh, I think the snake could make it still maybe maybe it's just late for that. Maybe it is a
We said ride ride the rods. Yeah, I thought I was like a train. Oh
It's a train. That's what I thought of a train
But even then like like, either way.
Brakemen are just known for enjoying killing snakes.
Brakemen, you know Brakemen.
But also it's a gopher snake, they're our friends.
They're not our enemies.
No, you're not.
Gopher snakes are our friends.
Haven't you read the Bible, Dave?
Haven't you read the Bible?
Gopher snakes are our friends.
All snakes are evil.
Also evil.
And all for apples to women.
And that's why we have to wear clothes now. Oh fuck
Yeah, and why you can't eat ribs
You learn the lesson well, I don't know this one really south from now bummed out. Yeah, no apples of ribs
sinner
Palone Yarborough arrested for forgery.
Pallone, Yarborough?
Well, Pallone is in quotations,
I don't know what's going on.
I thought that was a person's name.
Yeah, that's confusing.
Pallone, I want him to be Italian.
Don't do it, Rand, don't do it.
You're bad.
No, you're late, no. Spasimino, don't do it, Rin. Peloni. Don't do it. You're bad. You're late now.
I'm a spicy meatball for Peloni.
Oh.
Hey, my Peloni has a first name.
This afternoon, Peloni Yabra, a well-known character in the city,
was placed under arrest on a charge of forgery.
I'm not Peloni at all. While no complaint has yet been filed against Yarbrough, it is
said that he went to the First National Bank and presented a check in his favor
signed by Simi Gallin of this city. Yeah, a guy named Simi Gallin sent me here, that's
right, I think he gave me a big sum of money, you see? Yeah, yeah.
How me?
I'm Polona Yarborough, see?
Yeah.
At the time the check was presented,
the suspicions of the bank officials were aroused.
Why are a bunch of you gathering?
Everything's on the up and up over here.
I'm pretty sure you just gotta fill the bank
with some money, I can get outta here.
The investigation disclosed the fact
that Mr. Gallin
had issued no such check to Yarborough
and that the check presented by him was a forgery.
God damn, I just would have loved to have two weeks
in this era just to see the damage.
I mean, you could have just fucking fucked it up so hard.
So were the names printed on checks
or did you just write, oh, I mean,
I could just get a blank checkbook and be like,
Dave Anthony is writing me a check for a million dollars.
Oh, you know what, I bet you're right.
I bet the names weren't printed on there.
I mean, maybe.
Well, we're, I mean, it was so hard to check,
so it seems.
I mean, printing was invented in like the 18,
I believe 1848 but
So they probably had their names printed on the check. Okay, still you would have I mean forgery. I
Mean, it just seems easy to say where he got the check
Maybe question at a bank. Yeah. No, he exists. He's in Louisville
Give me $800,000.
He was immediately placed under arrest
and it is suspected that the complaint
will be filed tomorrow.
Yabra has run afoul of the law on several occasions
during his residence here, but in most instances,
his offenses were of a minor nature
and he managed to satisfy the law
by moving into the county Bastille for the set period.
What the fuck just happened?
No, not an idea.
The county Bastille.
He legally had to move to Bastille.
He was in France.
Well, I just came here to Bastille a little money.
Hello?
Anyone?
Does anyone work here?
I don't know what that is.
That's me.
I'm doing some stuff.
He moved in?
I live in the bank.
The county best deal. Yeah.
Yeah.
The jail.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
But why would he move in?
He's like, OK, I've done a lot.
I'm going to move into the jail.
Three hots and a cot.
I mean, I guess.
Wow.
Maybe he was doing this on purpose.
A one bedroom.
Yeah, back then it would make more sense than now
He loved he loved the jail three hots and a cot. That is the thing now
Share a cot one hot. Yeah, not as good. All right, so great
So this guy was such a criminal that he just moved into the jail. Well
Makes sense. Yeah, I mean, yeah
Yeah, all right. I'll go there. I do remember that era.
I mean, that era has been in my lifetime where it was like,
people were like, I'll go to jail to get housing.
And now you're like, fuck, no, fuck.
Now they're like, now you're going to jail
because you couldn't find a house.
It's illegal to not have a home where you can't afford one.
But at least you could probably get health care in jail.
Yeah, maybe.
Yeah, get your teeth looked at, all that stuff.
Probably not great though.
Have you ever seen the show Oz?
Yeah, yeah.
The prison hospital situation was never great.
I think that's a real...
You talking about the Cowardly Lion one or what?
No, not that one at all.
There's a guy, this guy's getting fucked a lot.
That doesn't happen in the Cowardly Lion.
Sounds like a pretty good... Hey, I'll go into jail with a pineapple tattooed on my chest.
I'm single and ready to finger, boys.
Ooh.
Or whatever.
How does it work?
It's not finger.
Huh, yeah.
Come on.
Turkey King will start shipping.
Hell yes, I'm pumped up already.
The fucking Turkey King, god damn it.
Turkey King. I'm from the South, son. I hear a word like turkey and king put together. I get it right. I know the turkey
This is that a casa grande and
CN corn being how If your name.
Big house.
Big house.
Casa Grande.
I'm just bringing it in.
Big house.
In hispanically speaking.
Correct.
Oh.
I said yes.
Good work.
Cien Cornman.
If your name's Cornman, you should be a Cornman.
Well yeah, if you're coffin, you're working in death.
Casa Grande Valley Turkey King, whose ranch is located 50 miles east of Casa Grande, starts
shipping turkeys the last of this week.
This year, Mr. Kornman is shipping over 800 turkeys, which will average nearly 20 pounds
apiece, which at the present price, from 40 to 50 cents a pound.
Now, that's the whole story.
It's a great, well listen, you got a Turkey King headline.
A Turkey King.
Doesn't really matter what follows it.
Now, is he shipping dead turkeys?
Nope.
He's shipping living turkey.
Oh, that's a good question actually.
I'm curious about the refrigeration.
I bet they're alive.
I would guess they're alive.
They have refrigeration at this point. I still would think they're alive. The ice box. Yeah, it's not great. Could be dead.
I bet they're... I don't know. Yeah, that's interesting. This is what I do on here a lot.
I bring up really interesting questions. He really breaks it down. This is 1922. Most people don't
have... I don't know if they have an electric refrigerator. No, but you could
still be, you could still be, you could stop for ice. Yes. You could be stopping for ice.
Yeah. As long as you ain't got snakes in your wheels. Huh?
Babyizing America. Babyizing? Babyizing. That is what is happening right now. Yeah.
It's been going on. We are babyizing. Yeah. When I go on tour I call Baby-izing. That is what is happening right now. Yeah.
It's been going on.
We are baby-izing.
Yeah.
When I go on tour, I call it baby-izing.
A year old baby may be large and healthy and vigorous and strong.
Dave, read the article.
Enough of your thoughts.
And if afforded proper protection, it may grow into a mighty man of prowess. What is going on? Hear me out
Hey, baby
But
Remove its protector during its years of helplessness and it becomes an easy prey to any aggressor
What the fuck is this?
Aggressive towards the babies. Babies can't fight men
It is so with this country!
What is this point?
Numerically, commercially, and financially, we are strong and healthy
with a progressive and successful future ahead of us, but like the baby,
Like the baby?
of tender years,
we are only safe as long as we have a protector capable of repelling aggressive forces
which greed and avarice may bring against us.
And that is why I'm proud to announce
my new company, Baby Guard.
That's what, at Baby Guard, we're looking to protect you
the way that a baby can. If your baby needs shielding, we're looking to protect you the way that a baby can.
Your baby needs shielding.
We're not gonna let you down.
We got babies that will attack!
So are you a babysitter?
Is that the right?
No, we are Baby Guards.
It is far more aggressive.
Your child will be freaked out.
We have trained babies to attack and protect.
I think you're pitching a different business than the one I'm a part of, sir.
I have several, they're called sentinel babies.
No, no, my, shut up, my business,
my business is that we will protect your baby from harm.
You are talking about an army of babies.
Yes, sir!
America needs an army of babies.
My whole point is they're not ready for that.
Well, that's madness, sir.
Well, we have businesses in conflict.
Turkey King, you want to settle this one?
Well, I'm not sure what to think about this.
The protector is the Navy of the United States.
This guy is so deep now.
Naval baby, aqua baby.
They're like baby seals.
This guy's out of his fucking mind.
Navy baby seals.
They're down in San Diego where they run basic like carrying logs.
Putting them into like wave.
Ring the bell baby, ring the bell.
Come on baby, quick, quick.
We want you out of here.
You ain't got what it takes.
None of these babies are cut out to be part of this.
My baby can survive underwater for 14 minutes.
Your baby has died sir.
Okay.
If Congress persists in reducing the Navy
to a state of impotency,
we will be helpless against sudden foreign invasion.
And that apparently is what a majority of our senators
and congressmen are intent upon doing.
If financial retrenchment is necessary,
we suggest that a hoard of political barnacles
be pried loose
from the public bay rule.
This guy is so deep.
Wow.
I mean, he really is.
He's like, everything should be aquatic based in this argument.
Yes, exactly.
As much as...
Imagine if Poseidon himself, without his trident.
But keep the Navy in a condition where it can afford us the necessary protection until
an army can be formed.
If compelled to depend upon Congressional oratory to defend us against foreign invasion,
we will be in a sad state indeed, regardless of the volume of noise that gang can produce.
Babyizing America is the last step in Congressional incompetency.
Arm the babies! Arm the babies! Babyizing America is the last step in Congressional incompetency.
Arm the babies!
Arm the babies.
Still have not...
All I'm seeing is just like infant frogmen coming out of the water like...
Like little turtles.
You can sharpen their teeth because they will fall out.
But in a time period in which they have little baby teeth,
they can be the most ferocious babies we have ever seen on Earth.
I don't see how this will work.
Gnashing, tearing necks, ripping out eyes with their little tiny, tiny teeth.
But they don't have strength. They can't even eat solid food.
Oh, they'll learn to leap!
Oh, good god. Fine.
I just need five million dollars.
Of course, we'll give you five million dollars.
We didn't realize you were so... We have endless money, obviously.
Uh, 20 years from now.
This is still about babies?
No, this is... we're all babies.
God knows.
They'd be in their 20s by then.
Yeah. Useless.
What happens to the baby seals when they grow up?
I mean, yeah.
It's a sad story.
It's like child actors.
Yeah. Sad.
Yeah, all heroin.
Yeah.
You know, I built this nation.
That's smoking.
Yeah.
We're the baby boomers.
What does the future hold in store for us as a nation?
This is going to be bad shit.
This is the same fucking guy.
Considering that they're about to go through the worst shit ever.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
It's not good.
What does the future hold?
Flying cars.
It's going to be great.
Surprise.
It's not good.
Yeah.
Within the next 20 years,
unless there is a radical change for the better
in the relations of labor to capital,
we will be torn by internal dissensions,
if not prostrated by open civil war.
Okay, so this guy's gonna go on.
This guy was actually really right on.
Present conditions cannot endure forever.
Wow. Some guys got it. Inequality
was rampant. He's like, it doesn't work usually in history. Yeah. Other people are like, ah,
hobo walking? Disgusting. Unmitigated growth is the ideology of the cancelers, though.
Yeah. Right. Well, and we learned our lessons. Yes, we did.
We did.
Yes.
We're in a much better place.
We're in a safer zone.
Everybody feels safe.
Everybody is treated equally.
The lowest level you can get to in this country is still very, very safe and good.
That's why my Uber driver on the way here, who used to own businesses, is now an Uber
driver and having problems paying his rent.
Boy, oh boy.
How old?
He's my age.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's cool.
That's a long talk about the economic situation.
No, it's good.
Los Angeles is an affordable city to live in.
Yeah, absolutely.
It's really easy.
It's a beautiful, easy place to live.
Yep.
No doubt. Dirt cheap. Dirt cheap. Yeah. Dirt cheap. It's really easy a beautiful easy place to live. Yep, no doubt
Dirt cheap. Yeah, they're cheap
If the smoldering discontent now prevalent breaks out into revolution It will leave us as a nation of cripples from self-inflicted wounds
That will be the psychological moment for a foreign nation with a grudge to launch an invasion against us with every hope of
coordination with a grudge to launch an invasion against us with every hope of definite result. China.
This is why we need to arm and fang the babies.
No, no, no.
China.
China.
The animosity between labor and capital must be removed in a fair and just manner for the
permanent good of both sides and the millions of people in between
It is more profitable to provide for the future than to bemoan the past
It never happens buddy. Sorry. Sorry about that. Well, it kind of happened
There was a brief period where it almost got there, but no. Yeah, this is a hundred and two years ago fuck that's so
This is 102 years ago. Fuck, that's so weird.
This guy here too.
Fuck.
We really have kind of like,
we just, it's so weird how it happened over 100 years,
but it's like we took 100 years and then we were like,
now let's fast track back to the exact shit we went through before.
The exact timeline.
Let's do it all again.
Let's literally do it. Let's see what happens if we don't make the exact time. Let's do it all again. Let's literally do it. Let's see what happens
if we don't make the right choices. Let's just do it in the 20s again. How about that?
One-legged hiker is recrossing the continent to LA. Oh boy. Fuck me. He's coming to LA.
I think I've seen him here. Yeah, he drove an Uber.
Walking from Los Angeles to New York,
that's the opposite of the headline.
Yes, it is different.
It's the opposite of the headline.
Wait, what?
Walking from Los Angeles to New York with one leg
and a pair of crutches probably would not be chosen
as the most pleasing outdoor sport
by the majority of athletes.
I like walking.
Yeah.
I do like walking. To New York? Yeah, Los Angeles to New York, you know, the headlines are different. You get the. I like walking. Yeah. I do like walking. To New York?
Yeah, Los Angeles to New York.
You know, the headlines are different.
Yeah, you get the walk at it.
Yeah.
But we did like a story about a guy who walked backwards.
This to me sounds like a bigger feat than...
Yeah, one legged walking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But W.G. Steubens enjoyed the little hike so much,
he started back again as soon as he arrived
in the metropolis and reached Douglas
yesterday on the last hop so to speak.
So he went to, he walked from LA to New York and now he's walking back.
No, he went from New York to LA and now he's walking back.
No.
He went from LA to New York and now he's walking back.
He's almost back to LA.
Jesus, he's like Jet Blue.
He started his journey May 9th, 1921.
Fuck.
And this is.
He's been walking 11 months.
That's pretty good for 11 months.
Yeah, how long would it take to walk across the country?
I couldn't walk across the country.
With two legs.
Yeah.
I could not do it, and that is not possible.
Sure.
Is it?
Yeah, sure.
I don't think it would take you.
It would take you a year.
Six months to walk across.
Should I try to walk across the country?
Is that what, are we all getting to this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I should try to walk across the country?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
With Jose.
Oh my God.
On your shoulder.
Oh my God!
I might, this is, this is, the kind,
you guys are good friends.
Can I ask you a question?
No.
Why wouldn't you?
Yeah, that's a great question.
Your ginger complexion will just work great somewhere around Texas. Yep. They love it.
My freckles are starting to bite me. Ha! He arrived in New York about the first of the
year after a month of cold, Stubben started out to find the sun again and hit the trail
for California. So he
didn't like the cold in New York. Yeah, I get that. January fucking day. That's why my Uber
driver moved here. Oh yeah. Oh hey, he needed the sun. Yeah. Yeah.
Steuben's carries a pack weighing 50 pounds and... Fuckin' A! Whoa! Fuck, now... And he's got crutches! He's got one leg.
Yeah. Fuckin' A. Steuben's carries a pack weighing 50 pounds
and which contains everything to make camping
in the open comfortable.
He prefers to sleep outdoors when the weather permits
and refuse the offer of the police to put up
for the night in the city jail.
In the Bastille?
In the city jail.
Hey buddy, you wanna, you know.
Really shit, jail used to actually be like,
ah, it's like a hotel.
Welcome to New York.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's our time at?
Oh, yeah.
I thought you were keeping that.
Well, it's 1.12.
Okay.
So we're probably done for this one.
Yeah.
You want to do one more?
You got one more?
Sure.
Got a closer?
I got a really short one here.
Okay, let's do that.
New mechanic.
W.J. Duerson. Auto mechanic. Duerson. It, let's do that. New mechanic, W.J.
Doersen. Auto. It's all been initials. Yeah. All W.J. Yeah.
W.J. W.J. What? W.J. Doersen. Auto mechanic has accepted a
position at the red, white, and blue garage operated by Jan
Sherwin. That's the story. Man gets job. I got a job.
Man gets job turning wrenches.
Oh my God.
That's like my uncle in England lives in the smallest town
and he's like 6'10", and he's in the paper,
he was, there was like a stretcher,
he was like in the paper like once a month.
They'd be like, he got new shoes,
but this is even thin us. Yeah
He's bigger
Mechanic we can a man is a mechanic now
the year
The newspaper of the Tidewater News Franklin, Virginia where my dad grew up. Uh-huh when he went away to college they
My grandma would send him copies of it. Well know his his dorm mates he went to Virginia Tech
They'd all laugh at it because one headline she sent is a four leaf clover found on lawn of bank. That's fucking
Honestly is like something we would read. Yeah, but that's real four leaf clover found on long a bank
Shit another story about one of their favorite trees
falling down on Main Street.
Yep.
Trees falling.
Four Leaf Clover on Long Bank is a slow news year.
Well, Randy, thank you for joining us.
It's been a pleasure.
What did you think?
Did you enjoy it?
I just am overwhelmed.
Okay, all right, good.
That's what we need you.
I'm trying not to fanboy too much.
Well, and then, do you have a website?
My band does, www.lam-of-god.com.
You can go there for tour dates.
Because you're always on tour.
Regrettably.
Yeah.
And then, for me, although I don't use it much,
my Instagram is at D. Randall Blythe.
I'm purposely mispronouncing it. It's actually
pronounced Blythe. It's pronounced Blythe. Sometimes I do post there. Yeah. Well, thank
you for joining us. Thank you. And Dave. Yep. That's the news. That's the news. Watch out
for the babies. Watch out. Yeah. Dynamite if your friend gets lost.