The Flop House - FH Mini 101 - The Razzies Are Always Wrong
Episode Date: April 20, 2024In honor of Elliott's long-lost blog critiquing the Oscars, and in honor of the Criterion Channel's recent "Razzie" collection, and in dishonor of the Razzies themselves, Dan guides the intrepid flop ...team through past winners of America's foremost bad movie awards, and why they're always wrong wrong wrong.We partnered with StagePilot to film our SPEED 2 live show as a streaming event! The debut is Saturday, April 27th at 7PM ET, and the three hosts will be IN THE CHAT at that time, BUT THERE IS ALSO A VIEWING WINDOW — watch or rewatch any time between the debut and Sunday, May 19 at 11:59PM ET!And if you happen to prefer your live shows really live, and happen to live in or near OXFORD, ENGLAND? We’ve got upcoming LIVE SHOWS for you!Head to factormeals.com/flop50 and use code flop50 to get 50% off your first box plus 20% off your next box.Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code FLOP at Manscaped.com
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Hey, floppers. This is Elliott talking.
Before we get into this episode's classic Flop House shenanigans,
I wanted to make sure you knew about some upcoming live events we are very excited about.
On April 27th at 7 p.m. Eastern, we are premiering online the professionally shot, professionally edited online video of our Speed 2 live show.
Dan, Stuart, and I will be there watching the show with you, text chatting with the audience throughout the entire thing.
Can't make it on the 27th?
The video will be available to watch at your leisure
through May 19th.
To see the trailer and buy tickets,
go to stagepilot.com slash flop dash house dash speed dash
two.
If you want to see us in person and you live in England,
remember that on the 24th of May,
we'll be in Oxford doing our first and second ever UK live
shows in one night.
7 PM, we're talking the Avengers. 9 PM, we're be in Oxford doing our first and second ever UK live shows in one night. 7
pm, we're talking The Avengers. 9 pm, we're talking Spice World. Two shows, one night.
For tickets and more information, go to flophousepodcast.com slash events. Now that's enough live show hype
from me. Let's get to that patented Flophouse Mini for this week.
I'm Dan McCoy.
I'm Stuart Wellington.
I'm Elliott Kalin still.
Now, what's a Flophouse Mini?
Well, normally, as you know, the Flophouse is a podcast where we watch a bad movie and
then we talk about it.
But on every other week, we do theselightly shorter episodes that are more freeform. I'm in charge of this one. So let me take us out of the garage
Back us out of the station by saying this is inspired of course
by
The criterion channel I say of course, I don't know why of course
Yeah, I was gonna say you said of course is if we All the clues were there mr. Policeman
In fact, I had given you none of the clues at this point because I just started talking
You know like like many people of like many people like me that's what I thought he said to like several people
most most people of non
Unlimited budgets like the movie, Several Samurai.
Let me get the premise out at least.
Like several people in the world,
like most of us who don't have unlimited money,
we cycle through streaming channels,
like we'll take a little time off from one,
try another one.
I am glad that we are now back to having Criterion.
Recently, they put a Razzie's collection on.
This got a lot of press there.
The Razzie's, these are, of course,
the Golden Raspberry Awards, we all know,
was founded in, and it's-
Underwater?
It was made to make fun of the worst in
Hollywood filmmaking of it's a excuse for a press release I don't know it's it's a it's publicity
for itself essentially um I don't yeah they don't like make money off of anything yeah I don't know
what they do not quite sure what their deal is, but they award awards for cinematic non-excellence.
So the Criterion Channel, as many have noted,
noticed that many of these Razzie movies are pretty good,
or at least worthy of more fair assessment
than their reputation would suggest.
And so they highlighted a bunch of those.
Now, a little sidetracking to personal history,
one of the things that made me want to be friends
with one Mr. Elliot Kalin.
Who I met.
That's me, mom, mom, he mentioned me on the podcast.
Yeah, yeah, that's pretty cool.
I met Elliot of course.
On my day outcome, you know. My day will come, you know?
Through our mutual friend, Eric Marcczczak,
and his various comedy theaters that he managed.
When I first met Elliot, I'm like,
who's this joke a minute guy in a polo shirt
looking all skinny and attractive?
I don't like his confidence.
Long flowing hair.
Yeah, yeah.
No need for glasses ever.
But one of the things that deterred me
from that initial unfair reaction was.
Okay, yeah, you saved it.
I discovered Elliot's blog, The Oscars Are Always Wrong.
And I knew that Elliot shared my love of classic movies, something that Elliot has only increased
in over the years.
And me, I've somehow found a way to waste my time with a lot of unworthy films.
But anyway, the point is, he had a blog called The Oscars Are Always Wrong
talking about how perhaps the Oscars did not pick
the best things to elevate every year.
And so in that spirit,
in that spirit, God damn it,
and connected to this criterion thing,
I thought I would offer The Razzies Are Always Wrong.
Oh. Uh. Huh? No. I get it, I get it. I thought I would offer the Razzies are always wrong
Eleven razzie movies on the criterion channel right now, but we're only gonna talk about six of these because we don't have a lot of time
But I'm gonna go through some of these razzie years for specific movies they have on there. Let's Raz them up.
I'm gonna talk and maybe we'll decide what the more deserving candidate is
because I'm gonna talk about the other Razzie nominees
for that year and I'm gonna throw in
some ones I found from that year that I thought maybe
are more worth being in the discussion.
Oh, Varian Keaton was my old blog.
I went through that, I was going through the Oscars
year by year and I'd say which nominee I thought
should have won or what other movie should have won.
And at this point, I actually, I'd like to go back
and redo those because I've seen a lot more movies
since then.
Well, hopefully this will inspire you to take on
yet another project.
Yeah, because I've got the time to write a free blog
about the Oscars now.
Maybe someday your sons will do this
Yeah, they'll pick up my legacy. Yeah now of course my Tron legacy
Mm-hmm, of course one of the key problems should have won Best Picture you sure yeah, certainly at the Tronsters for
glowiest movie
Now It's a nice movie. Now, to undermine premise right from the jump,
one of the key problems with this is, of course,
one of the key problems with the Razzie's themselves,
which is the, what are we doing here question.
Because if it's, well, no, if the goal is to pick
the worst movie of the year in the truest sense,
then none of the movies nominated for the Razzie
should be in the conversation.
These are all glossy Hollywood films
with at least some understanding of narrative.
You would probably be shitting on something
that someone made somewhere worth no money,
and why would you do that?
So maybe it's not that, is it worst Hollywood film?
But also is it worst is it like worst movie,
genuinely worst movie or is it a fun bad movie?
Cause I feel like sometimes the Razzie's are like,
what's this?
You know, and like that, if that's what it is, you know,
I can respect it a bit cause it's like, yeah,
let's, let's look at this silly movie, but anyway.
As I'm sure you're gonna get to,
they'll often pick an artistically done movie
and say, this is bad because it doesn't fit,
I guess what a normal movie should be.
Right.
And that is the fundamental problem with them.
Holy motors.
I never get the sense that the people who do the razzies
like or understand or know about movies,
which I'm sure is unfair on my part.
But there's times when they're like, this is not,
it's a little bit like the guy in Cat Person
who's like, yeah, I love movies,
I love Empire Strikes Back, you know.
It's great, but it's more than one kind of movie.
I don't think you're wrong to say that.
I think that it seems to me that often the Razzies are like,
what movie got a lot of bad press this year?
And it's like, we don't.
But it's kind of like the Golden Globes too,
where people are like, oh, it won a Golden Globe,
and I'm like, who votes for that?
Like, who decides these?
So let's start off in 1988,
a little movie that inspired a song to bedevil Elliot,
Cocktail. Cocktail won the worst picture resi in 88 over...
It certainly is the worst song.
The other nominees, Caddyshack 2.
Okay.
Rambo 3.
Debatable.
Mack and Me.
Okay.
Hot to Trot.
And now I'm going gonna toss in my additions.
And I gotta say, I'm starting with 88
because like honestly, all of the Razzie movies
aren't that bad and there weren't like that,
like there were some dumb other movies from that year,
but nothing that I thought was like,
oh, we gotta hold this up for ridicule or anything.
So this is not a year where you feel like
they were totally off the mark, Haiti?
Perhaps, perhaps, because I mean,
I will say Cocktail seems like a weirdly bankrupt idea
for a movie, but so the other ones I wanted to toss in,
this movie's fun, but maybe I just wanna shine a light on it.
Rotor, the low budget RoboCop and Terminator mashup
with the stressed janitor robot that Elliot loves.
So here's the thing, I recently watched that movie again.
I was a guest at a science fiction convention in Florida,
and we did a thing where we were riffing over Rotor,
me and some of the other people there,
and I find that movie, it's so bad,
I find it so entertaining, I enjoy it so much.
But I always remember that Robit as a janitor,
he's a security guard.
I always remember it wrong,
but he is the same character I remember.
But that movie, everyone else was like,
oh, oof, oh, I can't believe we gotta sit through this.
And meanwhile, I was like, I'm loving it.
This is the fourth time I've seen this movie
and I'm enjoying it more and more every time.
Yeah, the one other one I wanted to toss in here
is High Spirits, the Neil Jordan comedy
that squanders Peter O'Toole
by putting him opposite Steve Gutenberg.
So.
Man, that was definitely a movie I rented as a kid.
Because at the time I was eight years old.
So I wasn't necessarily a bastion of good taste.
That was, I've never, that's not true. I've seen High Spirits.
But like I've never fully been able to get it to stick in my
memory. Because when I was a kid, I remember asking another
kid, and I don't remember who it was another kid at school about
that movie High Spirits, because he said he had seen it. He goes,
Oh, yeah, it's super violent. It starts off. And this woman, this
guy like stabs her in the vagina. And I was like, What is
this? I'm not gonna watch this.
And then years later, saw it on HBO,
I was like, nothing like this happens.
And I was to this day.
A lighthearted comedy.
To this day, I'm like, what was that kid thinking about?
I think that kid is remembering
the animated movie Wicked City.
So now I've associated this movie with that scene,
even though it doesn't exist in my head.
Yeah, so this is a tough one here,
cause like-
88's a tough year.
88, like if we were gonna go into
what the iconic bad movie from that year is,
it's of course Mac and Me.
Yes. I would say.
That's one of the longest lived, I think, yeah.
Yeah.
If it's the movie that like,
I would have the most difficulty watching,
I think it might be Kenny Jack 2
Yeah, a nearly jokeless film
Now I don't remember I saw hot to trot so many times as a kid and I've not watched it since then
Can you check to that Jackie Gleason who plays? Yes
Jackie Gleason is playing the Rodney Dangerfield type role. Yeah now hot to trot. This is of course
I'm sorry Jackie Mason Jackie Mason. Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, I have to try to say
Race horse it's Bob Goldsweight has a race horse that has it's like hit
I forget if the horse can talk because it's the reincarnation of a person or forces can just talk
Yeah, I don't remember it is that horse definitely does cocaine or something is I think so throws a party and there's a part where someone gets reincarnated
I think the horse's dad maybe gets reincarnated as a fly or maybe it's Bobcat Goldthwait's dad gets reincarnated as a fly
Anyway, I've saw it so many times can I barely remember the plot of it?
But here's a question I have for you is Annie Potts in it or am I transposing her from who's Harry Crumb or you think?
It's called hot to pots
Hot to trot with Annie Potts.
I don't think she's in it.
No, Virginia Madsen is in it though.
I'm looking at the cast now.
Oh, she brings a little bit of credibility.
A little bit of heat for your treat.
Yeah.
Please don't ever say that.
Don't ever do that again.
So I don't know. what do we say for this?
Man, I would say Caddyshack 2 is the worst of those.
Yeah.
I mean, Cocktail is very dumb, and as a bartender, I find it offensive.
I mean, Mack and Me is a very bad movie, but it is a fun one to watch.
It's an enjoyable movie.
I'm going to say, I don't know,
I'm gonna put having very little memory of it,
I might put hot to trot on there
just because there's part of me that's like,
this was a movie that existed where Bobcat Goldsweat
is like a stockbroker with a talking horse.
On some level, I feel like this process is Dan
winnowing down what movies we're gonna do for live shows.
Yeah.
I think, yeah, you know what?
Probably Caddyshack too, yeah.
Going up next, we got in the year 1995.
I was 15 years old.
So full of life and hope.
I was 17, which meant I was of age to see this film,
Showgirls, won the whatever, the Razzie for worst picture, a film that has
been reclaimed by many.
Yeah, the Razzie's are straight trippin boo if you were to ask me.
I think that is a movie that is not fully successful at what it's trying to do, but
people understand what it's trying to do now.
Yeah.
And they didn't before.
Other films that were nominated by the Razzie's, we got Congo, which I think is a perfectly
enjoyable film.
It's serviceable.
Yeah.
And certainly the episode of AP Bio where the prom theme or whatever is Congo is the
movie Congo.
It almost makes the movie worth it.
We have It's Pat, a film that looks only worse as the years go by.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Perhaps thrown into a pit.
Disowned by the Pat themselves.
Thrown into a pit, but not thrown into a pat.
No.
The Scarlet Letter of course covered on this podcast.
Waterworld covered on this podcast. Waterworld covered on this podcast.
And so those are the ones that were nominated.
I've added to this Theodore Rex, the Whoopi Goldberg buddy top comedy on Dino.
Now was Theodore Rex, was it released in theaters or was it a video only release?
That's a good question.
That might affect its eligibility.
Yeah, I mean, how did it premiered at Conn, right?
And how long was the standing ovation?
17 minutes.
17 minutes.
We got to, we should do theater X at some point.
The movie that a judge made Whoopi Goldberg make because he ruled that she was breaking
her contract or refusing to make it.
Yeah, we've referenced it so many times and also like I've also never seen it.
I definitely feel like Dan is soft watching the slam for flop TV season two.
Could be.
What else do we have that I put down here?
We got fair game, the combined acting power of Billy Baldwin and Cindy Crawford.
Right.
Yeah, I saw that.
I certainly saw, there was one or two scenes of that that I saw more than once.
Jerry Duty, featuring some of the finest work by the Weasel.
I feel like I remember that one the least well of his movies
There's the jerky boys movies
In the theaters and I have so little memory of it that I think we might have showed up
during at the wrong time seen that at very end of it and then left like that I
It's hard for me to believe that movie exists and I saw it. Anyway. Yeah, it's so bizarre.
Why can't we make a movie out of Frank calls?
That one's on the Criterion channel, right?
Yeah.
We've got The Mangler,
where Toby Hooper tries to make Stephen King's
industrial clothes dryer.
Definitely feel like I've watched that.
Scary.
So what do you think guys?
What do you think about this?
I've given you a lot to chew on.
Too much, I've already forgotten some of them.
I haven't watched the Jerky Boys movie,
but I'm terrified of it.
I don't know if I can watch it.
That would be the pick for me for sure.
I mean, the fact that they have Waterworld on there,
which is a serviceable science fiction kind of action movie,
that they have Congo,
which is a serviceable science fiction action movie.
Like, there's the drink.
Star Letter is a hot Gary Oldman.
It's very fun in Congo.
And Tim Curry.
I mean, how can Tim Curry not be fun?
Tim Curry's always fun, yeah.
And a cameo from Bruce Campbell.
Yeah, but yeah, the Jerky Boys movie,
the fact that that exists,
it's also, it's such an artifact of a worst time
when the Jerky Boys were famous and very successful.
When we're like, these boys are jerks,
let's make them famous.
And you listen to those, I remember,
I don't know why I went to see the movie
because I remember not being a fan of theirs
and having a friend who had one of their CDs
and listening to it and they're just like,
hey, sizzle chest.
And I'm like, what does this even this even mean like I don't understand?
Don't get what the joke is here, you know
These pranks aren't properly constructed
Jerky boys seems like an appropriate name to me
This lacks the subtlety of crank yankers
The cranky didn't exist yet. I guess they refined it, you know?
Yeah, they learned their lessons.
I would say, wait, of that list, I think the one I would most likely want to watch is Showgirls.
I feel like Showgirls is my favorite of the list. Yes. But there's a few I haven't seen,
and I think the one that I haven't seen
that I'm most nervous about, of course, is Jerky Boys.
Well, it's Pat.
I'm pretty nervous about it.
Oh, I forgot about it too, Pat.
I forgot you mentioned it.
I think those probably tie for the bottom of the barrel.
I feel like that one is like,
we couldn't even do that on the show.
No, we wouldn't. Why would we want to?
Yeah.
Okay, well let's move on to 2003.
You couldn't make a podcast on this nowadays.
Nowadays you couldn't make a terrible, unfunny movie about this.
Let's move on to 2003.
The final year closing out, the first half of this many. funny movie about this. Let's move on to 2003.
The final year closing out the first half of this mini film that we covered in one of our recent live shows.
It was our San Francisco Sketchfest show.
We released it for scheduling reasons
on a normally mini week.
So if you missed it, go back and check it out.
This is of course, Gilly, the film that ended Martin Bress' directing career and put a lot
of road bumps in a few other people's acting careers.
But at least Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck got back together again, eventually, even though
that wrecked their relationship for a little bit.
Or did it start their relationship?
I think it started their relationship. I would probably say on a bad bit. Or did it start their relationship? I don't know. I think it started their relationship.
I would probably say on a bad note.
Yeah, it was sort of like, you know,
at the end of Speed when like Sandra Bullock's like,
you know, relationships on this pressure don't work out
and they didn't.
The Cat in the Hat was also nominated that year.
Rough, that's a rough one, yeah.
Charlie's Angels, full throttle. I think that that's a, that's a rough one. Charlie's Angels, Full Throttle,
I think that that's a movie that ensures itself against.
That's the bad guys Justin Theroux, right?
Yeah.
We got from Justin.
It's actually Henry David Theroux
is the bad guy in that one.
Oh, cool.
Yeah, yeah.
Welcome to Walden Pond, my utopian society.
Yeah.
From Justin. Golden Pond, my utopian society. Ha ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
From Justin to Kelly.
From Justin to Kelly.
He got his trademark cackle down.
Yeah, he fucking killed it.
Yeah, he got tired of it.
People would be like, Thoreau, do the cackle.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
No, really do it.
Emerson would be like, I love it.
I love that cackle.
I do see with something like From Justin to Kelly
is like a, there's a lot of these like very of the time.
Yes.
Sort of movie.
I'm assuming the year that Cool as Ice came out,
that was, it was nominated.
Probably.
They do piggy, they do dogpile and piggyback onto whatever
is like Dan said earlier, the movie that gets razed
the most that year.
Did we do From Justin to Kelly?
We did From Justin to Kelly,
the movie that came out to capitalize on American Idol.
Kelly's still a big star.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, that film is pretty bad.
It is bad.
Did I watch it though?
It's bad in the way.
I don't know.
Check the archives.
What do you want from me?
That that movie is bad in the way
that a million teen movies are.
I don't remember anything particularly like
disgustingly offensive or horrendous about it.
Elliot was like, not another teen movie.
Meet the Spartans, I guess.
Yeah, I think the problem was neither of them
were particularly good actors and the movie's plot
was like even thinner than the usual version
of like.
It was even thinner than the plot in the movie thinner.
Yeah.
The last, the last other nominee, another time capsule, The Real Cancun.
Oh wow.
Oh wow.
I haven't thought about that movie in a long time.
I've never seen that.
There's no way that's streamable.
Like there's no universe where you can stream that somewhere.
If you were not alive at the time or don't remember,
that was, you know, reality programming was ascendant.
And this was like, instead of a documentary,
this was more of a reality show movie.
They were like, can we do for movies
what reality shows have done for TV?
Yeah, and it turned out they couldn't.
Yeah. Which was good for everyone.
And that was one of those ones where it was like,
they were kind of promising, I never saw it,
but I felt like the ad campaign was like,
you are gonna see Spring Breakers having sex
a lot in this movie.
And I have to assume it did not fulfill that promise.
Yeah, I mean, well, I mean, I don't think there was
like penetration, is that what you were looking for? I can try to get some places on the internet. That's not really what I mean, well, I mean, I don't think there was like penetration. Is that what you're looking for?
I can try to get some.
That's not really what I'm looking for.
Just saying that it was, it was not, it was not, they were not, the movie was not positioning
itself as a, as a documentary, you know?
No, no, it was definitely a salacious.
Salacious Grum, the director.
I'm going to toss in a few other options.
Salacious Grum and Henry David Thoreau, they just hang out tackling together.
God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
We also have from that year House of the Dead, OOVA Bowl, of course.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Did that one.
Dumb and Dumber.
House of the Dead that famously does not feature a house, I think.
No, no, it's an island, I believe, of the dead.
Well, isn't just an island a house for trees think that is. No, no, it's an island, I believe, of the dead.
Well, isn't just an island a house for trees?
I guess you're right, yeah.
And isn't a tree just a house for birds?
Mm-hmm, exactly, and a bird is just a house
for whatever's inside a bird, bones, I guess.
Yep. Yep, bird bones.
We got Dumb and Dumberer, When Harry Met Lloyd,
of course the film that features neither of the stars
of Dumb and Dumber.
Yeah.
And none of the interest.
And of course Boat Trip, the gay panic comedy.
Roger Moore's in that, yeah.
Roger Moore.
Like Roger Moore is kind of the only thing that makes me...
Classes it up.
...that I think I would enjoy in Boat Trip were I ever to watch Boat Trip, which I have not done.
in Boat Trip were I ever to watch Boat Trip, which I have not done.
So I gotta say, out of these,
I have avoided watching Boat Trip
and the Cat in the Hat for years.
I think they're the ones I,
I mean, maybe I'm just making assumptions
because I have not seen them,
but the ones I feel like have the most.
Notice that Dan didn't say that he has not watched
the real Cancun.
I've not seen the real Cancun,
but at least the real Cancun, yeah, it's hard to say.
The real Cancun, I assume delivers on some of what
it's trying to promise me.
So at least it succeeds on its own level, I guess.
Well, we can hypothesize that again in the end. at least it succeeds on its own level, I guess. Yeah.
Well, we can hypothesize that again,
in the absence of data we can only theorize.
Well, a boat trip delivers on being a boat trip.
I will say, Jiggly was both weirder than,
it was bad in ways that I wasn't expecting it to be,
but better in ways that I wasn't expecting it to be, but better in ways that I wasn't expecting it to be too.
Gilly was tough in that it's not good and it's too long
and the characters are not likeable
and the story doesn't always make sense and it's offensive,
but it is offensive in trying to do something progressive
and failing, you know?
Like, Gilly is not good, but yeah,
it has good intentions for much of the time
I guess but it those good bad ways
Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're it moans
Quietly. Yeah Marge Simpson over here
Yeah, so let's say boat trip to take us into our ad break
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Like I was going through a bit of a blue patch,
I was feeling kind of down and you know,
a little bit of-
I wanna know where this is going.
But I also hate to laugh when you talk about depression, but it sounded like you had a
blue patch of hair.
So, like the beast, you were shaving the beast.
Yeah, I was shaving the beast and I was like, oh, there's a man underneath.
Hank McCoy.
Yeah, Hank McCoy.
Hello.
This is a new Dan character.
I was going through a bit of a blue patch and I got to say one of the best ways to get
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Nothing like a little spring cleaning in your pants.
Speaking of spring cleaning, more like spring streaming,
because the Flophouse has an all new streaming event.
You may have heard about it before this very episode,
but I want to remind you that the Flophouse Sync Speed 2,
our all original live show where we talked about Speed 2,
is going to be premiering on your computer
Saturday, April 27th, and will be available to watch
for three weeks after that until May 19th.
If you go to stagepilot.com slash speed,
you can buy tickets to see it whenever you want
between April 27th and May 19th at your leisure.
You can buy VIP packages where you can talk to us
through your computer, mostly at your leisure.
We'll schedule something.
And you can also buy exclusive merchandise,
some of it with art by Xander Cannon,
one of the greats working in comic books today.
Very exciting to have him doing stuff with us.
That's stagepilot.com slash speed
for all new presentations,
a whole new speed two talk and show.
It was shot and edited by the people at stage pilot
and they did a really fantastic job.
We worked with them in the past.
I hope to continue working with them in the future.
It's been really great.
We hope that you join us as we chat live with you
in the chat box at that April 27th premiere.
But if you can't make it for that, that's okay.
Get your tickets.
You can still watch it whenever you want until May 19th.
That's stagepilot.com slash speed
for the Flophouse Sink Speed 2.
But hey, we've also got a live show
that's not on your computer.
It's in a venue.
It's in a real live place.
That venue, England, not, I should explain,
not the whole country.
That's the whole venue?
No, Oxford England will be at Oxford Town Hall.
We'll be at Oxford Town Hall.
I almost said Oxford Town Hall, which is a different place that we will not be.
Oxford Town Hall.
We might take a look at the hole while we're there.
We'll just...
We'll get the famous Oxford Hall.
That's true, possibly.
Oxford Town Hall.
Toss some shillings into it.
Sure.
We'll be at Oxford Town Hall.
You got to wish.
Oxford Town Hall on May 24th. That's right. May 24th, we're doing two shows in one night at Oxford Town Hall, get a wish, Oxford Town Hall on May 24th.
That's right, May 24th, we're doing two shows in one night at Oxford Town Hall.
We're at 7 p.m., we're doing The Avengers at 9 p.m., Spice World.
Now, that's The Avengers based on the British TV show.
Just another example of Americans coming in and ruining a British thing, just like we
did with what, Doctor Who and a number of other properties.
And 9 p.m., we're talking about Spice World,
the official movie of England.
Can't wait to talk about it.
Just go to flophousepodcast.com slash events
and then go to the Oxford English, Oxford England,
not the Oxford English Dictionary.
Go to that lookup link and then follow,
and then follow internet link.
And then follow link to defeat Gannon.
To defeat Gannon and get the Triforce, go to Flophousepodcast.com slash events, go to
our Flophouse in Oxford, England entry, and then you'll find links to the shows there.
Don't click on the buttons that say get tickets for technical reasons.
Those just lead you back to the same page that you're already on.
Apologies.
So it's a little bit of a game.
Yeah, and for some reason the URL to go straight to it
is flophousepodcast.com slash event slash the dash
flop dash house dash in dash Oxford dash England dash
late dash show.
So just, you know, it's easiest.
Go to flophousepodcast.com slash events,
click on the Oxford England entry,
and you'll find links there for both the 7pm
and the 9pm shows. You know why I did that? So hey, if there's anyone out there
who wants to be a webmaster for the Fluff House, get in touch with me. Because we had a
wonderful person design our website but they couldn't stay on as a webmaster for
their own reasons and so I'm working with the template that has been set long ago,
and I couldn't do a thing that accommodated
having a late and an early show in the same place
without confusing the system.
And so I put the links in separately.
So if anyone knows how to hack the planet
and help us with that, please get in touch with Dan.
But otherwise go to flophousepodcast.com slash events, click on the Flophouse in Oxford, England,
two shows link and it'll take you to where you can find direct links for those tickets.
We're super excited. I've said this before, I'll say it again, we've wanted to do a show in England
for a long, long time. We're very glad to be there. We love our English and general UK fans.
It is a culmination of a dream. Yeah.
Yes. Not just English, but all of our fans in the UK.
Scots, Welsh, Northern Irish, and everyone outside of the UK as well.
We also would like you to join us.
So if you're within flying distance of Oxford, England,
and you like our show, why not come see us May 24th?
Ever since like a decade ago,
and I was bartending at a beer hall in Fort Greene, Brooklyn,
and I had some listeners show up to the bar
on a Saturday night from Denmark,
and they're like, are you Stuart from the Flophouse?
And I was like, this was the first time anybody
had ever tracked me down on the bar.
I've been like, I have to go over the sea.
Yeah.
It took me a decade, but I did it.
You did it. Yeah, finally.
That's right.
May 24th in Oxford, England as part of the St. Audio podcast festival.
It's Webby season.
Hi, I'm Sequoia Holmes, host of the Black People Love Paramore podcast.
And we are nominated for a Webby for the episode where I interviewed Hayley Williams.
In case you're unfamiliar, Black People Love Paramore is a podcast delving into the common
and uncommon interests of Black people in order to help us feel more seen.
We would love your vote to help us win this Webby.
Please take a second and go over to the Black People Love Paramore podcast social media
accounts and you can find them at BPLBpod across all social media
platforms. Hit the link in bio and vote for Black People Love Paramore.
Hi, I'm Travis McElroy.
And I'm Teresa McElroy.
And we're the hosts of Schmaners.
If you're looking for a good place to jump into our show, we really recommend either
the Playgrounds episode
or the Job Interviews episode.
Or if you want to go way back, you can check out the episode where we compare the differences between afternoon tea and high tea.
So check out those episodes and new episodes every Friday on Maximum Fun or wherever you get your podcasts.
And now, Dan, why don't we get back to resin it up on the razzle with some Rezzies razzle dazzle with the old razzle master
damn a dazzle McCoy I
Want Dan to be a Batman villain now called the razzle dazzler
Yeah, that's we're writing the name of the episode as we speak. So yeah, what your would take us back in time Dan. Where are we?
Yeah, we're gonna take we're gonna hop in the old
Cinematic the dazzling and go back in time, Dan, where are we? Yeah, we're gonna take, we're gonna hop in the old cinematic time machine.
Gonna go back in time, metaphorically.
Gonna go back in time, but not literally.
Yeah.
So, it's 2001.
Ooh, Space Odyssey.
The film that won that year was Freddy Got Fingered,
starring Tom Green and Rick Torn.
Had a little bit of a cultural reevaluation, right?
There's some things.
You know what?
I feel like the pendulum swings on that one pretty fast.
I wouldn't call myself a fan per se, but I respect it.
It's a film that goes all out in its vision
of assaultive comedy.
What else we got that year that was not made?
We have Driven.
The Stallone racing film.
Oh right, he's a race car driver, yeah.
Glitter.
Was that Whitney Houston?
Mariah Carey, Mariah Carey, sorry.
Pearl Harbor, of course.
Michael Bay's historic travesty.
Oh, we didn't actually do it.
No, we did the other one.
We did Battleship.
Yeah, we did Battleship,
a very different movie from Pearl Harbor.
But I guess all those old Pearl Harbor survivors
joined at the end, right, and helped them save the day?
Yeah, that's why I thought that.
And of course, 3,000 miles to Graceland.
And here's a few additions courtesy of yours truly.
We could also add to that Corky Romano
when America collectively said no thank you
to Chris Catan as a leading man,
Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles,
a film with no jokes in it.
Is that the third one? Yes, it is the third one. The movies became- It's no jokes in it. Is that the third one?
Yes, it is the third one.
The movies became-
It's no jokes on purpose.
It's a kitchen sink drama, right,
about life on the streets?
Well, it's like the movies became progressively more
just action movies starring in,
crocodile, Dundee.
That's the character's name, not, of course.
Paul Hogan's the actual-
Paul Hogan.
I'm gonna toss in Tomcz because... Fuck that shit.
Wow, that's one I really haven't thought about in a long time.
Fuck off with that shit.
Wow.
If the phrase Jerry O'Connell and Shannon Elizabeth in a sex comedy doesn't immediately
date this to 2001, I don't know what else might.
And of course.
My old roommate, who's a mutual friend of Dan and mine,
when she moved in, I think that was like
one of two DVDs she owned.
She had Tomcats?
Yes.
Why?
I don't know, ask her.
Text her right now.
And of course, lastly, I'm tossing in Final Fantasy,
The Spirits Within, the film's so boring,
I apologize to my ex-wife for taking her to it.
So.
That's the opposite of what happened
when I was dating my now wife
and I was going to go see Superman Returns
and it was a very hot day and she was,
and I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go see this movie.
And she goes, it's hot out, why don't I go with you?
It'll be air conditioned there.
And I'm like, well, you're not gonna enjoy it. I don't even know if I'm going to. It will be very, I'm gonna go see this movie. The movie goes, it's hot out. Why don't I go with you? It'll be air conditioned there. I'm like, well, you're not gonna enjoy it.
I don't even know if I'm going to.
It will be very, I think you're gonna be bored.
She's like, I'll just go.
And then after she was like, you were right.
That was very boring.
So I feel like I've pretty apologized.
It was very boring, but it did feature
Elliot's favorite actor, Kevin Spacey.
Oh yeah, love him.
Can't wait for his return.
Yeah, this one's tough only because I feel like, again,
the two most sort of promising contenders for me
for film that I personally would dislike the most
I have not seen because my, you know,
I have to protect myself a certain amount
even though I've made a-
Yeah, you gotta guard your heart.
A life of watching bad movies.
I do have my limits and my limits are not watching
either Corky Romano or Tom Cat.
Yeah, that's the right choice.
I feel like as Stuart 7-4 though,
you are curating flop TV season two as we speak.
I feel like it too, yeah.
I haven't seen some of these.
I feel like, I don't know, Pearl Harbor,
I feel like Pearl Harbor's worthy of some critique
because it's this big budget thing that's a mess and shitty.
Well, certainly if the Razzie's were,
I think what their ideal version would be,
which is like really like, okay,
here are the big movies of the year,
which one of these failed, you know,
Pearl Harbor would certainly be a movie that,
yeah, it's just, it's the dumbest,
like wrong glossy version of history.
Yeah.
But it also, it shows you how much the reses
just lean into things that have celebrities in them,
like Driven is a pretty nothing movie for the most part,
but I guess because it has Stallone in it and like 3000 miles to Graceland is
perfectly serviceable you know but it has big stars in it.
And it does open with that really cool CGI scorpion fight.
Yeah they saw the wild bunch where they're like we don't need real things
real bugs fighting we use CGI.
Wild bunch and, same movie.
Yeah, it's hard to, I mean, the thing is also,
I also have not seen Tomcats or Corky Romano,
and I'm worried that I am unfairly-
I'm gonna say Tomcats fucking sucks.
Have you seen it?
I guess your roommate owned the DVD, yeah.
There was definitely a night, I mean, we're in our 20s.
We had a limited DVD collection.
We all got really fucking high.
And I think we watched Tom Katz and then former host
of the flop house, Simon Fisher got really sick
because he can't handle weed and barfed.
That's what happened.
That's the story.
And he's not going to listen to this.
So he can't say I'm wrong.
Yeah. Also can't say I'm wrong. Yeah
Else you can't handle Tomcats. Yeah, that could have been it actually that would make actually the time cats. That's the problem Yeah, let us
You know go ahead another year to 2002. Oh man, just one year swept away
Guy Richie's collaboration
Kinda stalled out his career Madonna
Guy Ritchie's collaboration. Kind of stalled out his career.
Madonna is then wife.
I feel like he makes a movie, three movies a year.
I mean, I think it stalled it out temporarily.
For a little bit, yeah.
That was what took the prize.
Also nominated, we've got The Adventures of Pluto Nash.
Very bad and expensive.
Yes, Crossroadsroads the Britney Spears
movie pop star movie
No fair and okio. This is the Benigni version
And Star Wars episodes to attack at the clones. It's a little indie film called Star Wars episode
Perimeter create that's all I can say
I mean to be honest stars episode 2 is an indie film and it's right Yeah, I mean once Empire starts. I think Lucas was funding all those himself, but I guess so
I've got some additions here
Fear calm imagine how scary it would be to log on to fear calm
Oh, it's a bad one. I'm not not a fan of fear. Well
Ballistic X versus sever of course we covered that on the last season of love TV
Yep, can't trap us into watching that in season 2 we watch it in season 1 movie We watched entirely because of how much we reference the name and I think it was my least favorite of the season
It was that was that is the most that is the most I mean the thing is what makes a bad movie if something is
memorably bad or if it is nothing we bet because that's the most, I mean, the thing is, what makes a bad movie? If something is memorably bad or if it is nothingly bad?
Because that's the thing with Ex Persever,
I was like, this movie is just, it's like,
there's nothing there, like there's nothing in it.
It's just a...
I do love that Ellie just dropped a like,
like a gear metal toro movie monologue there.
What is a bad movie?
Is it the ghost of a feeling?
Allow me to open my cabinet of curiosities and see what we have.
I'm sorry, this is my wonder emporium.
I'm borrowing it from Mr. Megorium.
We also have Juana Mann.
Okay, well, that's going to get my vote, I think.
Mann dresses like a woman to get into women's basketball comedy
that is offensive in multiple ways in the print solo.
You can't make a comedy like that anymore.
I feel like there are many big-name comedians who are essentially making that comedy in the act right now.
Yes, all the time. And Netflix is like, yes, please.
We love it.
Yum, yum, yum.
Master of disguise. Apparently not turtley enough to get into the Golden Raspberry Club.
Oh, was that the comment that they said?
I still haven't seen it. I want to see that shit.
That's another good season two possibility, yeah.
The Hot Chick, another probably insensitive cross-dressing comedy.
That's what Rob Schneider did.
I'm sure he handled it sensitively.
And Sorority boys.
What the hell is with this year?
What was going on that year?
What was going on?
He's, uh, you know what?
I mean, what year is this?
2002?
Yeah.
I mean, to be honest, it's like, I'm saying this, this is not a good thing.
This is wrong, but I feel like at a time when the 90s was at least my experience growing up
in absorbing that culture.
So much of it was people being forced to start recognizing the LGB community at least not
yet the T community, but the LGB community as human beings that exist and have feelings.
And so gender roles were changing and Hollywood reacted by making a bunch of shit that's real offensive and isn't good but it feels like, I understand why that
element is in the air, you know?
And like 9-11 guys, you know?
You're right.
I'll never forget.
Blame the hot chick on 9-11?
I'm all for it.
Why not?
No, no, Dan.
The hot chick's hands are not clean.
Don't say it was in the wake of the tragedy. No, no, Dan, the hot chicks hands are not clean.
Don't say it was in the wake of tragedy.
No, I think we have to bundle these three comedies that we can leave in the garbage
and move on to...
Yeah, it's a three-way razzie tie, yeah.
1987.
Now, we're going back again.
1987.
Gotta go back even further in time.
Now this is one case for, on the Criterion Channel,
the film that they're featuring is not one worst picture
for the Rezsies that year.
I think they just wanted to feature this film
because it has been reevaluated.
That is of course Ishtar, Elaine May's Ishtar.
They also may have had it left over
from their Elaine May series.
They're like, re-curvus this.
I am not sold on Ishtar.
I love the Grand Tarrion Channel,
but they do occasionally reshuffle the same movies
into different collections.
And I'm like, Grand Tarrion Channel, but I do love them.
They're my favorite streaming service.
I also, Stuart, am not sold on Ishtar.
I think it is not as bad as people say,
but it is not as good as the people who like it say.
Yeah, I also agree.
For more thoughts on Ishtar,
for a longer version that ends up in that conclusion,
listen to our Ishtar episode.
Is Hodgman on that one?
I think Hodgman may have been.
We've had a guest, I think it's, I think it's,
he was definitely on our,
he was on 1941.
I think that's what you're thinking of 1941.
Oh, maybe.
I mean, certainly not my favorite Isabelle Gianni movie.
There's certainly no way of finding out.
Here, I'm gonna Google Ishtar Flop House to find out about our own show.
I'm just gonna watch over Dan's shoulders.
He types, he's only using one hand to type.
I'm gonna watch over Zoom, I'm gonna watch Stuart's face as he watches Dan type.
Episode 237.
No, there's no listed guest,
but it was the last episode recorded altogether
in my apartment.
Oh, wow.
Where you moved, Elliot.
So I think that maybe that's the special thing
that you're remembering.
Maybe that's it.
And it's certainly my feelings on Ishtar.
I had to leave that part of the country and go somewhere else after watching it
Well, I think it's it's Ishtar is mediocre
But yeah, but not not a bit the winner the winner that year this may be a rare case of the Raz is getting it
right, we'll see Leonard part six a
laughless spy comedy
starring a sex role
Starring a monster, yeah, sure.
And not the fun kind of monster like Dracula or Frankenstein.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
But-
Or Charlize Theron.
The other films nominated that year, Jaws of the Revenge.
Where-
That's a fun bad movie.
We've done a live show about it.
That's a fun bad movie.
Not available. The Shark has a personal show about it. That's a fun movie. Not available.
But as a personal grudge against the Brody's.
Who's that girl?
Another Madonna.
Never seen it.
Oh, I've never seen it.
It's okay.
It's like, you know, Madonna and Griffin Dunn kind of doing an updated screwball.
I actually don't mind it.
Tough Guys Don't Dance, a movie that is nutty.
Yeah, that's the movie that I went to,
when I was a teenager, my grandmother took me
to the Museum of Modern Art and they had a series
going on of films in their theater that were writers
directing films and Tough Guys Don't Dance
was the one they were showing that day.
And my grandmother was like, well, let's go see it.
Norman Mailer, let's go see it.
And within 10 minutes, she said, this is not for us
and walked out.
And I later saw the rest of the movie and it's a bonkers one, yeah.
It's an experience.
That's one that I think is,
if you have fondness for bad movies,
it's worth watching that one.
It's worth at least just for the, oh wow, oh man, oh no.
What would the scene is where he's just having trouble
emoting at how much trouble he's in.
And I have the most additions for this year. This is a
87. 87 is a banner year for big bad movies. Listen to what I got here. We got
Superman 4, John Cryer has Lex Luthor's nephew. My favorite of the series when I was a kid.
We did a riff show on that in Chicago.
Yeah, we did, yeah.
We've got Mannequin, a movie that gave me Audrey and Mize,
a karaoke duet of choice, and de facto then wedding song.
Nothing's going to stop us now, but still not good.
Now, that wasn't the music you walked down the aisle to,
which was the Twin Peaks theme. That was true.
We did walk down the aisle to the Twin Peaks theme.
A stirring tale of immortal love, the Twin Peaks.
Walk Like a Man,
Howie Mandel is raised by timber wolves
and sniffs people's butts.
No, I'm thinking of a different movie.
What's the movie with,
I'm thinking of Heart and Souls,
which uses the song Walk Like a Man in it was Robert Denny jr. Never mind
Munchies a movie that is nearly unwatchable even though it has little puppet monsters in it. Yeah. Yeah
We've got disorderly's where the fat boys
Three stooges were the fat boys and that's it. That's the whole movie
They said what if the three stooges were the fat boys and that's it. That's the whole movie
Newky Elliott's beloved Newky also covered on flop TV. Oh rough
And I have come to reevaluate it since watching the garbage bill kids movie again Well, you know what else was released in 87 the garbage bill kids movie
Just did here in Brooklyn. It'll show up on the main thing
They don't make years like they used to.
So wow, 87, what?
Yeah, surely.
Hollywood's greatest year.
The worst year in cinema.
Yeah, 1939 in reverse, yeah.
What one best picture that year?
I'm gonna look it up.
Garbage Pail Kids!
What?
Yeah, these are, I mean, the thing is,
these are bad movies, but with the exception, I would say of Nuki,
and Ali would say of Garbage Pail Kids
for different reasons.
Like I think Nuki is just too boring,
but I think that these are a lot of fun bad movies.
Some of them are, yeah.
So if we're looking at, just to answer your questions to it,
so usually the Oscars,
they're for the movies from the previous year, right?
So in 1988, covering the movies that came out in 87, the winner was The Last Emperor.
So this was the year that... and nominated, and I think should have won, was Moonstruck.
But this is... so the same year Moonstruck and the Garbage Pail Kids came out in theaters.
Yeah.
Two films about love.
Yeah. There's some real stinkeroonies in that year. But I think, I mean, I feel like Leonard Parts Six is a solid show.
Yeah, I think they did it right that time.
We've got to give it to the Razzie's.
Even a stopped clock is right sometimes when it comes to a criminal being in a movie.
Even a stopped clock razzes correctly every once in a movie. You're gonna stop clock razzes clock correctly every once in a while
so
Yeah, that was a little trip down memory lane of bad movies past
So Dan soft launching a slate of films for us to watch. Yeah. Yeah next time. Can we take a trip down Nathan Lane?
That sounds like more fun. I
highly recommend watching
Nathan Lane, that sounds like more fun. I highly recommend watching Dick's the Musical
if you're looking for a trip down Nathan Lane.
Yeah, and if Criterion Channel wants to toss us
a couple bucks for this unpaid advertisement
for their service.
I keep asking Shudder to do the same thing.
Yeah, you know, some swag would be fine too,
that's also good.
Whatever we can squeeze out of this.
The fact is also that we know someone who works there
so we can get swag.
Yeah, but it's not as much fun that way.
One of my best friends of all time, so it works there.
It's different when you have to call in a favor
from a friend as opposed to getting swag
for just being like Dan McCoy.
Yeah, man.
You know, just being the coolest dude.
The coolest dude.
On that note, Stuart finally giving me...
The quote that's on his posters now, the coolest dude.
Oh wow, Dan already got business cards for me.
Sunglasses giving a big thumbs up.
Hey, thanks for listening.
This has been the Flophouse, Flophouse mini edition.
And if you enjoy this, maybe give us a good review on iTunes, tell a friend, do whatever
you got to do to get the word out there.
You don't got to do anything, but do whatever is in your heart.
Thanks to Alex Smith, our producer.
He goes by HowlDotty on the internet, just to make it harder for us to direct people
to him at the end of these podcasts, because people don't know how to spell that.
Made up name.
But we love him.
All names are made up.
He does great things.
We also love our network, Maximum Fun.
Go to MaximumFun.org, check out other podcasts
on the network.
I'm sure you will find something that you enjoy.
But for now, I have been Dan McCoy.
I've been Stuart Wellington.
And I'm Elliot Kalin saying,
hey, when life gets your resin, make resin aid.
make resonate.