The Joe Rogan Experience - #2139 - Akaash Singh
Episode Date: April 23, 2024Akaash Singh is a stand-up comic, actor, and co-host of the podcast "Flagrant" with Andrew Schulz. Check out his new special, "Gaslit," on YouTube. www.akaashsingh.com Learn more about your ad choic...es. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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The Joe Rogan Experience
Shrain by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day!
So Jamie, I'm sending you these things right now. You want to feel like a lazy piece of shit?
Uh, yep.
This is what me and Ari were sending each other last night. This is all the fish concert at the sphere. Oh
Fish is a fascinating thing dude the graph, you know the sphere in big. Yes giant globe
Yes, the whole ceiling is all LCD or LED. What kind of screens it?
Edie Edie, whatever the best shit is is yeah, it's like a billion dollar building yeah, but the screens on the ceiling
So fish utilizes these for all these like crazy trippy psychedelic images
And so while the show was going on people just like
It's like the greatest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life look at this. Oh, that's ceiling awesome. That's the ceiling
Oh, that's great doing a true edible and then going to that show. What a party. I
mean, they're doing a residency, so I guess they're doing six Sphere shows.
Check out these, some of the other ones I sent you, Jamie, because I sent you quite
a few. They're all different. One of them is a dog. A dog's like licking, like
licking the screen
I need to see this I did not know how big fish was I didn't know it was big at all
But they have such a massive cult following they do they sell out everywhere. Yeah, it's like the dead
It's it's basically the same. It's like a new generation. Yeah, the Grateful Dead and I'm growing up
I was aware of the Grateful Dead fish
I was doing a show in Atlantic City and then the guy that was booking it was like,
oh man, it's tough, fish is here this weekend.
The whole city's, and I was like, what?
Fish?
P, the one with the fish?
P-H?
Fish?
And he was like, yeah, they're huge.
And then people follow them.
I had a buddy of mine, his girlfriend was really into fish,
and I just didn't get it.
Yeah, I've never heard of the single song.
What are you talking about?
What's the big deal?
Look at this one. Holy shit. Isn't this insane? That's awesome. It's insane
Now even hearing this in the headphones that feels awesome and looking on this screen
Yeah
and apparently there's not a bad seat in the house and one of the guys from fish was
Doing an interview about it
And he was saying essentially like every seat is incredible
Because every seat you you see the sky and you see this you see fireworks and it's just fucking
Amazing this is awesome. So they're doing a UFC there in September and I have no look at the dog
there in September and I have no look at the dog
That's so sick, isn't that amazing? Yeah
What's gonna be on the screen of us 300 is max holloway knocking you out with two seconds left in the fight the ones
Yeah, one second. Yeah, it's it's gonna be all kinds of shit I mean they're they're essentially planning for that different than they've ever planned for any other event
They're essentially planning for that different than they've ever planned for any other event. Dana told me they've already spent $9 million preparing for September's event.
That's so sick.
So tickets are going to be nuts for that, I assume.
It's going to be nuts.
Yeah.
It's going to be a nutty event.
I don't think they're going to do more than one of them.
I think they're only going to do one because the idea is like it's so expensive to do and
there's so much involved in preparing for it.
But it's an investment so you're going to get it back.
Has anybody written a book on Dana building the UFC?
You would know, I would not.
I'm very much casual.
But just, I remember being like 13 seeing the UFC commercials and it didn't, it seemed
like this fringe thing and now it's this massive mainstream thing.
I don't want to give all the credit to one person but it seems like he's the one.
It's a lot of it.
A lot of it goes to him.
If it wasn't for him, it just wouldn't be the same thing. You have to have a maniac rather than
He's a maniac but a genius mania. Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's literally born for that job. Yeah, it's perfect
He's the perfect guy for that job. My cameraman was telling me this morning
Kevin Shousa Kevin he films and edits all my stuff, but he's a big UFC fan
He said Dana put out like a three-minute video after UFC 300 of a bunch of people criticizing the fight card on UFC 300
And I was like dude
That's the thing that you need that Jordan Michael Jordan has that thing Dana White has that thing Dave Portnoy has that thing where it's like
I remember everybody that ever insulted me fuck you no matter how famous I get fuck you yeah
Yeah, I don't have that. I don't either but I keep moving. I don't like I don't like that kind of stress in my life
I don't like dwelling on things. I don't like creating additional conflict
Maybe I did when I was younger, but that shit doesn't seem appealing to me at all
How do you let go if you had it when you were younger? How did you let go of it?
I just realized it wasn't helping me. Yeah the same way I let go being jealous of people
I would be jealous of other comedians, like if they were killing it.
I would be like, oh, I hope he bombs.
And then I, this was when I was 21, I felt this.
And I saw it, I was like,
God, what a weak thought.
I was embarrassed.
I remember being 27 and just being so angry.
And I haven't let go of all of it by any stretch,
but being like, I don't like me being like this.
And then I realized all my hate of other people
is rooted in me worrying I'm not gonna make it
or worrying I'm not funny enough.
And then you get kind of like, that's embarrassing.
So let's try to move away from that.
Yeah, especially with comedy
and something that you can actually improve on,
it's really stupid.
Or even martial arts, something you can improve on.
I get it with girls.
Cause they get it with looks.
Like looks.
Oh, they're saying it, okay.
No, looks is a fucking terrible...
What a crazy crap shoot.
You could just get two sixes.
Or you could get two ones.
And there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it.
You just got fucked by genetics.
And it's because men don't give a fuck about your personality.
They barely care.
Yeah, it's a...
As long as you're nice enough.
Yeah.
You're nice and smiley and friendly.
People are like, she's great.
Yeah, yeah. She's awesome. She was quiet.
Like, we're such losers, dude.
We're like, she was like not interrupting me when I was talking. She's awesome.
Yeah, dude. it's all genetics.
It's all just, we're looking for those features.
We're looking for symmetry and all kinds of different things
and it's just, the world is a rough place
if it's just a looks thing.
But if it's a performance thing,
god damn it, it's the opposite.
You should be excited by someone who's better than you
because that gives you something to strive for,
and it also gives you fuel.
Yeah, absolutely.
And I've said this publicly, I think on another,
on True Geordie's podcast, but watching Andrew blow up,
there's times where I'm insecure and I'm like,
oh, am I gonna get there?
But then watching him handle all of it,
I'm like, oh, that is such a blessing
to be able to watch him handle everything.
So if and when I get to that position,
this is how you handle it.
I've seen it done before.
Yes, that's important.
That's important to learn how to just be yourself.
Stay yourself.
You have to learn how to stay yourself
because the pressures are different.
It's like you step into a different atmosphere.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's like a different environment.
It's like you're on a different planet.
The gravity's different.
As the number of eyeballs increase,
every feeling you have about these groups of people
with an opinion amplifies as their numbers amplify.
Yeah, so if you're hung up on other people's opinions
and then you blow up, you're in real trouble.
Because if you read all that stuff, you can go crazy.
And we've all seen it.
We've all seen guys who go crazy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just like the pressure and the other people
and the opinions and all that stuff, it cracks them.
I remember when you came on Flager and you were like,
I'm sure there's stuff that's negative about me.
I just don't read it.
And then that actually helped me
because I was like, oh, if Joe Rogan doesn't,
the most famous guy I know doesn't read the comments,
I thought there was like something weak
and you needed to like train yourself
to get used to negative.
It was like a really stupid thought,
but it's like that you could just not do it. And then those people aren't real in the real world if you're a nice person
Right you want to have nice exchanges with people like I'm a nice guy. I like to be friendly
I like meeting people and hugging them. I like I like fun times. Yeah, I don't like arguments
So if like I'm engaging with people who are troubled,
mentally ill people that are just looking to shit on people,
then you get all that energy in your head.
I wouldn't gravitate towards that energy in real life.
Why would I gravitate towards that energy online?
This is not good for you.
So if you pretend that you don't care at all,
well now you're pretending, okay?
Now you're not a human anymore.
Because all humans care about other people's opinions.
It's a part of why we all survived.
Why our tribes managed to move into cities
and create agriculture and create civilization.
You have to like each other, you get along.
It's part of the deal of being a human being.
And if you try to pretend, I don't give a fuck.
Okay, well now you're lying.
That's a coping mechanism.
Now you're lying.
You just gotta be honest about who you are.
You're a human being.
And if you're a human being, what do you want?
You want good interactions with people.
My wife said a thing, I was getting in my head
a couple of times that she says a thing.
She's like, let me ask you a question.
Have you ever gone onto a content creator's page
and left a negative comment?
And I was like, I don't think so.
And I love hating on things,
but going onto someone's page,
and then she was like,
now imagine doing it incessantly.
All day long.
Those people have some level of mental illness
that like their life is based around hating someone else.
You can't take those people that seriously.
And I was like, ah, that's a valid point.
They might dislike me, but that level is weird.
Yeah, they're losers.
It's a bandwidth issue.
And I don't mean they're losers,
like they're never, they can't be winners.
I mean like the, what you're doing,
you're engaging in loser behavior.
I've engaged in loser behavior before.
I've been a loser.
Doesn't mean you are like, this is a can.
You are a can. Like you never change. This are like this is a can yeah you are a
can like you never change this is never gonna be a plant right you know it is
what it is that's not what I mean but I mean that if you're acting like a loser
if it walks like a duck to quack like it you're a fucking duck you're a loser
yeah and if you're going on you think Michael Jordan's leaving negative YouTube
comments I'm saying like? People that are successful
don't have time to try to take other people down for no reason, unless you're Cat Williams.
Yeah, but he's great at it though. He's so good at it though. If you're not that good
at it, don't do it.
But also he's being accurate. The thing about Cat is you can't refute the things he's saying,
other than the book thing. There's no way he reads that many books.
His 40 is impressive. It's not as fast as he said, but it's impressive.
Oh, he's fine.
He ran the 40 in like five flat? Have you seen that clip?
Yes.
Crazy.
He's fast. He's fast, man. And he's cool. He's a fun dude.
Hey, I have some loser behavior to apologize for before we get...
Really?
Yeah. Yesterday I'm walking through Austin, and I'm like, this city's great.
Why did I get on Rogan the first time and shit all over Austin what a fantastic city
I'm a loser
68 degrees on a Sunday. I'm walking around. There's trees. There's beautiful people
There's good food
And I realized the only reason I hated it is because I would leave
Texas when I moved to New York or LA and every hacky liberal would be like oh, I hate Texas
But I like Austin and then I got insecure and some loser shit now You know what fuck Austin dude fucking vegans they suck this is great
If you go to certain parts of Austin you will get annoyed
I was in East Austin a couple months ago, and I saw some fucking guy driving his Tesla with a mask on
I literally wanted to yank him out of his car and break his neck
You fucking you're a problem voting. I guarantee you you're a problem voting I guarantee you you're a problem
You're the reason why there's no cash bail, dude
I saw a guy in 2022 in an elevator and he got mad at me for not having a mask on I was like buddy
It's over. It's over. He got mad at you and he was like
Not wearing a mask and then because New York had the whole mask thing for longer
And so I guess but to me once it was it still going on in 2022 when you got in
the elevator? I guess. Well, my wife, NYU, she got a master's at NYU and they made them take boosters,
which I took the Vax. I'm fine with that. But boosters, I was like, I'm not doing it. If it's
a cold, I'm not vaccinating. It's a cold. I'm not doing it. And then they made them wear masks until
I think middle of 2023, they had to wear masks which is insane
There's no science zero science. Yes, if you you look at the science behind masking
There's actually legitimate science that breathing those dirty fucking mass with that bacteria inches from your mouth is bad. That's that's fair Yeah, because you're you're you're spitting in this thing and then this thing is right in front of you
Yeah, and it's also warm and moist so it breathes bacteria.
Like a surgeon wears masks to protect someone whose body is cut open. That makes sense.
You know, spit inside of them.
He's not talking having full conversations. He breathes in it for the surgery, takes it off, that's it. Another mask or whatever.
And if you wear one of those tight fitting N95 or whatever they call them, is that what it is?
Yeah, N95. KN95 and N95, yeah.
If you wear one of those, like even that is,
you're getting air in, okay?
And you must understand that the particles
of whatever virus it is are smaller
than the fucking holes that you're getting air through.
That's interesting, yeah.
Like, you could vape through those things.
Have you ever seen people vape through them?
No.
Yeah, fucking vape goes everywhere.
There's a doctor that was showing that early on. Yeah, he was a respiratory specialist
He was like this is insane and let me show you why it's insane
So he takes up, you know, one of those big juice box vapes. Yeah that those dorks. Yeah
Yes, that's what they suck it on a robot dick
So he takes this big puff and then blows right through like one of them surgical masks like wow
Okay, so the kovat particles are smaller than the vape particles right through like one of them surgical masks. Like right through it. Wow, okay.
So the COVID particles are smaller than the vape particles.
Yeah.
It's nonsense, but it made people feel better.
I wore them in the beginning,
cause you know, it's like, you don't want to be an asshole.
Everybody's scared.
You don't want people upset.
Oh, there's no mask.
Yeah.
And I got, early on, I'm with you.
I was, I get it.
We didn't know what the fuck this was.
We didn't know how to control it.
So this is what we feel we need to do and then as more info started coming out
We should start to get less hysterical about it because there's more info on it and it felt like in New York
We didn't I thought some places went so far the other way was a little nice, but it was more fun liberals
Yeah liberals and this is coming from someone who's been mostly a liberal their whole life with most issues
Yeah, I'm liberal about pretty much everything
Until it gets to like border and guns.
And then I'm like, I know violence. I understand reality.
Right.
This crime is real. It's a real thing.
Yeah.
This idea that you shouldn't be protected is fucking nuts, especially when you're defunding the police, you fucking idiots.
Yeah, that was crazy. Yeah, that was crazy.
Yeah. You know what? I have a bit in the special where I talk about just like the marketing of it like defund the police
I don't when you when I talk to liberal people about what that means they would be like, yeah
You know, I just want to like specialize the police force and have less like have de-escalation measures first blah blah blah
I'm like, well, that's um specialized the police is a lot better than defund the police you
Maniac. Yeah
Well, what they have to do is train the police better and make improve the police and give those folks mushrooms every now and again
Let them cleanse
You because of you I started smoking weed a little bit. It's great. I got you
You got you on that podcast that day. You got me on the podcast that day and I buddy
Let me tell you shrooms even better. Yes. I'm so glad I waited till I was 37 to do any of this
I don't think I could have handled it. That's smart
That's actually what shrooms are the best all when you were showing me that fish thing all I was thinking about is I'm so glad I waited till I was 37 to do any of this. I don't think I could have handled it That's smart. That's actually a
Rooms are the best all when you were showing me that fish thing all I was thinking about is I'm gonna get shrooms
Tickets to a fish show sit there and lose my mind
Are you she fears trying to convince me to go to a makeup specialist and get a like a prosthetic nose and chin?
Oh, yeah, yeah, you got a put a wig on maybe maybe rooms before yeah
Not a blonde one people know yeah, maybe a redhead. Maybe a redhead and
It's some baggy clothes or something like that. Yeah, yeah something to but trying the guns, but yeah
Like it might just my tattoos if anybody identifies those you have to
If you're gonna go to a fish concert, you have to just be one with the crowd yes
Can't do that if you're famous
You gotta be able to sneak in and just just take it in
Dude, we could just run out this fear. Let's do it. God
Let's just do a concert a private concert with fish for you and your friends and I am obsessed with AI
Animation I'm obsessed with it.
I follow like 15 different people online now on Instagram.
I just said, it'll come across my feed
and I'll just find these insane videos
that they're creating like instantly with AI
and they're beautiful.
They're amazing.
We made songs with AI on the Patreon,
one of the Patreon episodes and they're so good.
So 20 seconds.
So good.
20 seconds.
It's unbelievable.
Have you seen the rap beefs that are happening where they think the songs are AI?
Because they're so like, one guy said, I know this song isn't AI because how can AI take
a breath in a song?
And I was like, because it's AI.
It's just going to get better and better.
No, they um, they take breaths.
They do all kinds of stuff now.
They mimic all the patterns of speech
that they can record from all these different people.
So they have, like if you have a day to day,
like say if you and I, we've been on a bunch of podcasts,
so they could take us and have us say anything,
and it would be like weird pauses
and clearing of the throat, it would be indistinguishable.
What is your-
What is this?
Drake takes aim at Kendrick Lamar
with AI Tupac and Snoop Dogg vocals
on TaylorMade Freestyle Distro.
So Drake and Kendrick Lamar beefin'.
Drake wrote a beef and he did AI Snoop and AI Tupac
talking about how disappointed they are in Kendrick Lamar.
He wrote the raps and then the voices sound perfect.
Oh my God.
It's unbelievable what's happening. What is wrong with Kendrick Lamar?
They're just beef this rap just it's competitive. They beef sometimes
I think Kendrick started this one and then it's really like who wants to be the best and hip-hop is rooted in this kind of
Like battle rap and like combat competitive spirit. Well, so pop is an interesting thing because I love hip-hop
But I don't really love bragging
But I love hip-hop bragging Yeah, because it's performative.
You don't take it seriously.
Well, it's also, you've got to put yourself in like Jay-Z
in 99 Problems, where he's rapping about all you think
about is cash money hoes.
If you grew up with holes in your zap
You would you know yeah?
That's the whole idea is like if you come from nothing and then all of a sudden you got diamonds
You're driving a fucking Lamborghini. Yeah, absolutely
It's supposed to be a celebration of the fact that you made it and it's part of the bragging
I remember when my parents had money they had money lost money had money lost money
But the last time they had money I was like who needs all this stuff then they lost money
I started comedy
I was broke as fuck whole families not making money, and I was like all I want to do is buy things when I get money
I'm buying everything and then you buy a few things and you're like I'm good. I got a nice place to live
I'm happy with my 2012 Honda Accord. We're good the thing about
Expensive stuff is if you can't afford it, the stress of that not being,
or barely being able to afford it and working for it
is not nearly worth what you get out of the thing.
The only time nice things are worth it
is when they're kind of free.
Meaning not that they're free, but that you don't feel it.
Like if you went out and bought a new Mustang,
you wouldn't even feel it if you're rich.
It's like, boom, I can enjoy this, this fun. Yeah, it's like it doesn't affect your life
But if you make sixty thousand dollars a year and you go out and buy a new Mustang and then you look at those car payments
Then you look at your rent payment, and then you look at your bills
You're like fuck yeah, like maybe I should take on like a little uber thing on the side
You know that's my Mustang yeah, we, why not doing that to pay for a car?
Yeah, which is a great thing to do if you want to do it that way, but the the additional stress
Like houses like I always tell people this this is an important lesson that I learned when I was 27 when I was 27
Was the first time I ever had a nice apartment. I moved to Hollywood
I was on a television show and I got this place in North Hollywood and ever had a nice apartment. I moved to Hollywood, I was on a television show,
and I got this place in North Hollywood,
and it had a loft, and I had a pool table in my living room.
I'm like, this is amazing.
This is the dream.
And I was sitting down, I didn't even have furniture yet,
and I was dating this girl,
and we were sitting down listening to Seal,
you know, the Kiss by Rose?
Kiss by Rose, yeah, yeah.
And we're listening to it,
I had this dope-ass fucking stereo that I bought, I never had a stereo. And're listening to it. I had this dope ass fucking stereo that I bought.
I've never had a stereo.
And then, I mean, I have bullshit stereos,
but I never had a real stereo with the big speakers.
And so we're listening to this.
This sound is like going all,
it's bouncing off the walls and everything.
I'm like, this is incredible.
But then, after a few months, I had this revelation.
I was like, oh, this is just home.
This is the same feeling I had
in my shitty apartment in New York.
It's just home.
The high wears off.
Exactly.
My shitty apartment in New York,
I had a television and a bed.
That's all I had.
All I had is a television and a bed and a pool cue.
And then I had, in the other room,
I had a kitchen that I was fucking never in.
I just ate out every day.
Very rarely did I cook.
So it's like, that was home.
So I'd go there from the road, do a gig, plot my bags down,
sit on the couch, turn on MTV, I'm home.
It's the same feeling, the exact same feeling.
But if you gotta bust your ass and really kill yourself for the same feeling it's not worth it kids
Yeah, your home feels like your home no matter if it's a 50 million dollar mansion or a fucking condo that you're paying 600
Bucks a month on yeah, my same thing my wife is big on
The thing where if you can't afford it twice you can't afford it once that's smart
Yeah, so that that, I'm very financially,
I think just by product of being a comedian
and like you risk everything.
I don't have any risk averse version at all.
My wife is a little more risk averse.
So like if I wanna buy a nice watch,
I'm a little bit into watches now.
She's like, can you buy that twice?
I'm cool with you buying it, just make me feel better.
Can you buy it twice?
That's it, that's all I wanna know.
Can you buy, did the watch thing's a thing?
That's a thing dudes get into and the bitches is expensive.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you get into watches that people don't know
are expensive, but they are expensive.
That's what I love now.
Because walking around New York,
I don't wanna, I'm a very robbable guy.
So walking around New York, I want something that's nice
and you're like, all right, fair enough.
I don't think that's that nice of a watch.
I'll let him walk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's my jam now. You gotta think like that, I want something that's nice, and you're like, all right, fair enough. I don't think that's that nice of a watch.
I'll let him walk.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's my jam now.
You gotta think like that if you're in certain spots.
Yeah.
Has New York gotten that bad?
So apparently I looked this up,
because Alex keeps up with this stuff,
Alex on the podcast, and he was saying crime is down,
so I looked it up, murder is down like 15% from a year ago,
rape is down like 4%, I think assault might be up.
But yeah, you do feel- Here's the problem though, feel problem though under reporting and one of the problems with under when
there's no police presence and like that's a thing in LA right now
robberies are so common it's so bad the mayor of LA's house got broken into
really yeah yeah the LA mayor put pull that up it just happened just happened
yesterday they're so fucking common and cops aren't coming for anything. Yeah, that a lot of shit goes under reported
Yeah, you call it in and no one does anything no one cares Los Angeles mayor Karen Karen bass safe after suspect
Breaks into her official residence. That's crazy. I like how she has an official residence is also wild
Yeah, what's the unofficial her and her We not harm or a suspect gained entry. I like how I said that gained entry
Broke into your fucking house the Getty house the LA mayor's official residence on Irving Boulevard around 640 a.m.
This morning first of all that's ridiculous that you have a place where everybody knows you're gonna be because it's the mayor house
Yeah, and you've got to stay in the mayor. Yeah, but it's no one should get You gotta stay in the mayor house. But no one should get in.
We all know where the president's staying.
We're not getting in.
I hung out with the governor when I first moved to Texas.
Oh yeah.
And the governor lives in the governor's mansion.
And so you gotta go to the governor's mansion.
You're going through all the security,
they're frisking you, taking stuff out of your pockets.
Yeah, of course.
Cops and everything.
I'm like, how crazy is it that you're staying in this spot
where everybody knows where you are?
And then while I was hanging out with them,
a drone flew over the balcony.
Get the fuck out of here.
It turned out it was the fire department.
They were doing something with drones,
so they scanned for fires and shit,
and I don't know what they did.
But I was like, this is crazy.
Do you have to deal with this all the time,
is a drone in front of your fucking house? I'd'd get a shot. Oh, yeah. I remember watching a presidential debate
It was Obama and Romney
I think and then we're at the Village Lantern where we came up and then my boy Michael Bloustein points to the TV and he
Goes why would anyone want this and I was like, yeah, that's a good point all that to leave my house
Yeah, so it's drones flying over my house a level of scrutiny anytime
I say people are jumping all remember they're jumping on Barack because he said a lot
Yeah, they're just all over him. It's like dog. Can I live imagine that now?
Yeah, yeah, it's rough
It's I it's so rough to watch it's so rough to watch imagine if Obama came along and um and people complained about that
Yeah, that's wait a minute. How do you not complain about this guy? That's true. This is ridiculous
Do you want I heard you say I think that Michelle should run she'd win she could win
I think I think I think if she won I think if she ran she could win
Yeah, I don't think she wants that though
No, I don't want you want that in her life
Which is bullshit that they dealt with over the eight years when he was president. Fuck that job for anybody that really would
be really good at it.
Yeah, I trust the person who doesn't want the job more than the person who wants the
job.
I mean, you have to be real desperate to change the world and be a good person and actual
good candidate to understand that they're going to come for you.
Like the way they're coming for Trump right now.
This thing that they're doing right now with the criminal trial for the hush money payment,
this is essentially the way it is.
It's like he incorrectly labeled a payment on, it's like a ledger thing.
It's not even like it's illegal to pay someone to shut up
The whole thing is it's like how he recorded what that payment was for
I don't know enough about the trial to know I don't but I think what a casual observer like myself would say is oh
This seems like a witch hunt and I don't think if your strategy is to make Trump and not win an election
I think that only emboldens his support.
People who are on the fence might be like, oh, they really are trying to get this guy.
He's right when he says all this stuff.
They're definitely trying to get him.
But if you look at what's going on in New York crime wise, look at the bail situation,
like those two guys that beat up the cops, the illegal immigrants that beat up the cops.
I didn't even know about this.
They let him out right away.
And the dude was like, to pocket the camera and shit. It's like, he just got out. I was kind of fired about this. They let him out right away, and the dude was like, two-pocketing the camera and shit.
I was like,
he just got out. I was kind of fired,
to be honest.
He was kind of fired.
There's a young guy who walked here from Guatemala.
He's like, fuck you,
I just beat up your cop.
That guy is Scarface.
We watched a movie about that guy in the 70s
and loved him.
Yeah, and you're never gonna get that guy out of here now.
Yeah.
Even if you beat up a cop,
like you're not even deporting him,
you're just letting him right back on the street. And then how are you tracking him? You're not tracking him. Are you tracking him? cop like you're not even deporting him You're just letting him right back on the street. Yeah, and then how are you tracking him? You're not tracking him
Are you tracking them? No, you're not tracking him. There's no resources. There's no fucking money for yeah, it's crazy
I thought South Park had a really good take on illegal immigration like 15 years ago
Which was like the liberals are all just like let him in let him in let him in a conservatism
Like don't let any in and then nobody's like hey
Maybe we could also just try to help them out in their country so they don't need
to sneak in. And that's probably a great way to do aid.
The problem with that is then you don't get the cheap labor that you need to make cars
for like $10.
That's very true. That's very true. My parents owned a restaurant that failed. But if you
think we were hiring legal people, that's crazy. No chance. We would have closed even
faster. That's the thing about LA. They just switched it to $20 an hour for yeah, yeah
There's no way you can afford that businesses are just gonna close up shop
They're gonna kill the economy or just keep hiring illegals
It's gonna be one of those you can't do it because they have to get paid a certain amount even the illegals do really unless you're
Paying them under the table if you're running McDonald's you can't pay people under the table. That's they'll get you
Well, I they're also just gonna do the self-checkout and just eliminate workforce wherever they can that's what's gonna happen
It's gonna be an AI thing. It's gonna be self-checked. They already have a thing here. There's a water burger
That's like a digital water burger. You'll order it on your app and then you pull up to a kiosk already
It just fucking comes out. Yeah, all right. Yeah, we're all gonna get used to it
The self-checkout doesn't seem weird anymore not at all remember
bill burr's bit like 12 years ago where he's just like I'm just stealing it now
we're all like no we'll just pay for it I'll sit and they'll have a tip at the
end at the airport I just rang myself up and you want a tip
yes give me my money back that's the tip that's ridiculous yeah the tip thing is
crazy but people try to weasel tips out of you everywhere yeah yeah it's weird
how like some things get tips like a Starbucks barista, but other things you
never think about tipping.
Yeah.
You know, that are like harder jobs.
Yeah.
You know?
So I, this might be classism or whatever.
When I see the like grocery delivery guy, I often see someone that I feel like could
use the money more than the fucking barista at Starbucks, so I try to over tip them.
I'll do the one dollar standard at a coffee shop, because my friends shame me.
But, uh, now I'm like, I'm kind of classist in how I tip.
I'm like, who needs it more? And then I'll over tip that guy.
Well, I like to tip people, it's fun. It feels nice.
I've heard your tips are pretty crazy.
It feels good. It's like, I call it like a little love bomb.
You leave a love bomb for someone.
It changes their day.
I'm fighting against my Indian heritage anytime I leave a big tip. I'll do it, but it's tough.
It took a lot of work.
I'm Italian and Sinatra and all this good stuff. Everybody's handing out big tips.
That's a big thing for the Italians.
It makes people feel better. It's a nice thing to do. It makes people feel better.
But my point is like, how come you don know tip the stewardess on an airplane?
Because they're the fun police dude. That's why sometimes they are the fun
Can I just have my seat back while we land why can't I have my seat back while we land?
What's your fucking deal? No sense? Yeah, it's they're just doing their job
I know they're forced to do that stupid shit, but if you let me have my seat back
Maybe I give you a 20 on the way out. They'll get fired
They didn't follow the stupid fucking protocol, but those people like they're they're bringing your food. They're bringing you water
You press a button and then they have to come over to summon them with a button and you know they don't get a tip
That's true, but the Starbucks guy does yeah, okay?
You know and that's smug fuck oh some of them are so smug
Yeah, is it is that a prerequisite for being a barista? You have to like look at people sideways?
I'm trying to tip better as I feel I'm more blessed.
And I remember COVID being like, oh yeah,
these tips are, this is an important thing to do.
But if you give me any attitude,
the way I press zero and then spin it back around to you
so you can see me not tip, it makes me so happy.
I'm overjoyed.
Zero, there you go buddy.
That's a Texas thing I I think, to a degree.
We don't like rudeness at all.
Very, yes sir, no sir.
I'm raised, yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, no ma'am.
Please, thank you.
These were huge when I was growing up.
So if you don't give me that, I feel so like, who the fuck?
There's a real benefit in that kind of Texas-friendly politeness.
There's a real benefit that makes everybody feel better.
Absolutely. I call people ma'am and sir to that. It makes everybody feel better. Absolutely.
I call people ma'am and sir all the time.
Makes everybody feel better.
Yeah, and now that I'm old, nobody gets offended anymore
because I'm older than the people I'm siring
or ma'aming 95% of the time.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm always older than young guys
that I'm calling sir.
But it's, you know, it feels good.
Makes everybody feel better.
There's a method to it.
There's an intelligence to it. Right right because that whole East Coast thing, you know
I grew up in Boston everybody's hard-ass hard-edged and I'm always like, yeah
I'm not I don't have to do that. But but I get why they're that way because
Everybody that lives on the East Coast unless you move there recently
You're essentially the child of either immigrants or the children of immigrants who are, you know, of grandparents of immigrants.
Children or grandchildren of immigrants.
Yeah, someone came from a boat, and they landed on that spot, whether it was the 1920s or whatever the fuck it was, with my family it was in the 1920s.
So these people, they landed there from fucking Italy and Ireland and they were poor as fuck and desperate.
They made it across the ocean on a boat without YouTube.
They didn't know what the fuck they were getting into.
They probably barely saw a photo of what America looked like.
They had no idea if they were gonna get a job.
Those are hard ass people.
And so those people raised hard ass kids.
And it takes a long time to break that out of a generational cycle.
And I think for a lot of people that moved to California, like I didn't even know people
were friendly until I moved to California.
Yeah.
When I moved to California, I'm like, girls are so much nicer.
They're like nice.
They're like, hi, hi, how you doing?
They're not going to just be mean to you.
Right.
Yeah.
I think some of it also is just the number of people, the density of population.
In Texas, I see a person every 90 seconds.
I can say hi to everyone I walk by.
In New York, there's too many people.
If I hold the door open for one person in Texas,
two might walk through.
In New York, 30 might walk through.
So I'm not holding the door. I'm not doing this.
That's a great point,
because I walked my dog yesterday.
I'm walking down the street, and everybody's saying,
I'm waving. How you doing?
But I saw five guys.
It's so much easier. It's easy. If you're in New York City, and you're walking on the street and everybody say I'm waving. Yeah, how you doing? But I saw like five guys It's so much easier. It's easy
Yeah, if you're in New York City, and you're walking on the street
It's just constant flow of people coming your way. I'm not you literally can't wave to everybody you would be a crazy person
Fucking fifth out
Kicked out of you someone would get upset at you like the Joker opening scene Just get chased down the street and get beaten the fuck up, bro
I've been watching a lot of videos on Instagram unfortunately of women getting punched in the face in New York
I've saw I've seen like four or five of them over the last few days people just punching women for no reason
Yeah, that's like a thing. That's like a thing. What is that? I don't know
I thought it was only white women at first, so it was just funny to me,
but then I found out they're doing it to everybody,
and now I'm scared for my wife.
Yeah, I saw some Asian lady get punched in the face today.
What the fuck?
For no reason, just walking down the street,
and this dude just, she had a mask on too, by the way.
Maybe that's why.
Maybe that's why.
This dude just waylaid her and knocked her mask off,
sent her flying.
Out of nowhere, you don't think you're gonna get hit. First of all, people die that way all the time off, center flying, out of nowhere.
Like you don't think you're gonna get hit.
First of all, people die that way all the time.
Yeah, I've heard.
Because if you don't know you're gonna get hit
and you get hit, you go unconscious
and you bang your head off the concrete.
Yeah.
It's like getting the world dropped on you.
Yeah, no, that's one thing that fighters are keenly aware of
that most of us don't, I don't think, think about a lot.
You gotta really think about that on concrete.
Yeah. Like if you're gonna punch somebody on
concrete you might go to jail yeah you might go to jail for a long and you might have horrible nightmares that you
could have avoided that you didn't have to do that I have especially if you're you're skilled yeah and you know that
like I don't have to fuck this guy up but this guy's fucking pissing me yeah I teach this motherfucker a lesson yeah I
have a friend who had that exact situation like I haven't fought then. I don't know what happened to the guy. I had to get out of there.
I just, and he's like a trained fighter, and he's like I can't, I don't know what happened to him.
I couldn't find out and that just haunts me. I was very enthusiastic about fighting until I was 19.
And when I was 19, I fought in this tournament in Anaheim, California. It was the Nationals.
And I was the Massachusetts state champion.
And I fought this kid who is I think he was from Illinois
I think he was the Illinois state champion and I I hit him in the head with a wheel kick
With a what a wheel kick is is like your body spinning
So I'm standing with my left foot forward and I'm spinning my right heel around in a circle, okay, and it has
Insane power. I mean insane power right the amount of power that you get in a wheel kick it has insane power.
Insane power.
The amount of power that you get in a wheel kick
is because it's my legs, it's my upper body,
there's a whip to it, it's got all this torque
and I caught this guy.
He came at me with what's called a stepping roundhouse kick
so he had his front leg forward
and he stepped forward with his left leg
and he was gonna throw a kick
and I spun with my right leg
at the same time.
So I caught him running in and I blasted him in the face
and he went out faceplant snoring, never woke up.
Never woke up.
He was unconscious for a half an hour.
They put him in a stretcher.
I was watching, he never got out of that stretcher.
They took him to the hospital.
I have no idea what happened to him and I it freaked me out. Yeah, it freaked me out
Yeah, I lost my next match and I was a little that was my third match of the day
Were you just like I can't get over this. No. No, I lost my next match. The guy was just better. I just lost
Okay, and but
When I went back to
Boston and but When I went back to Boston
My my main instructor he wasn't there in California when I was fighting and so what cuz there's a like a team of us It was like ten of us that went to California and he he said to me he goes
I heard you had a great knockout and I said yeah, he goes
He goes wheel kick. I go. Yeah, I go. I thought he was dead. He never got up he goes
Sometimes they die I
Was 19 and I was fighting for zero money
And I none of it made any and my heel was sore
I was I was limping the next day because my heel was sore from his face
Yeah, and then I was thinking I'm not immune to that someone could 100% do that to me
Yeah, we're whipping fucking bones at each other. Yeah, you know I mean I
Just it changed my my feeling about it
I never I didn't have the same enthusiasm after that that was probably like the beginning of the end for me
I fought for a couple more years, but it was like that was kind of it. I was kind of like what?
Was your aspiration before that to be like a world champion? I wanted to be in the Olympics. Ah, okay
Yeah, but there's no money in taekwondo. There's no no money in kickboxing either
I don't offer for a kickboxing fight. It was like 500 bucks
Boy, but the and then if I fought fight if I fought professional then I can never fight amateur again, because now
I'm a professional.
So it was like $500.
It was like $500 to train for like two months and maybe get pummeled.
Maybe get brain damage.
Maybe get my nose shattered.
Maybe get my ribs kicked in.
That's the beginning of the stand-up career, essentially?
Well, I was doing both at the same time as well, which was also a problem because I knew
I wasn't as committed to fighting.
But it really began with that 19-year-old when I knocked that dude out.
That was the beginning of the end.
And then it was like later on, it was headaches from kickboxing.
Oh, wow.
I was getting a lot of headaches.
I was getting headaches.
Like after sparring, I would be lying in bed and my brain would just be throbbing.
Just boom, boom, boom.
And I remember thinking, what am I doing?
Like, am I ruining my brain?
Because I knew a lot of guys who their brain got ruined.
And it didn't seem like they realized it.
It didn't seem like, because they were still fighting.
It didn't seem they realized,
or maybe they didn't know what to do,
or maybe they just weren't that smart,
but they were still fighting and training, but I was realizing they were slurring their words.
There was just this clear evidence that something was off.
And I was like, oh my God, is that happening to me?
Is that going to happen to me?
And then there's also, later on I realized there's also other side effects of that, which
is like impulsiveness gambling addiction get crazy
They start doing a lot of drugs
They drink a lot a lot of guys become drunks because they're just trying to like but just trying to feel good
Yeah, they just feel terrible all the time. Yeah, we had no idea about any of this back then you're in a fog of depression
Yeah, because they people thought back then
Punch drunk was a thing that was real everybody knew a guy but but
no one worried about it up until it was obvious right you know and no one
worried about there's a sub concussive traumatic brain injuries that cause a
lot of CTE which is a chronic traumatic encephalopathy right and that's that's
the thing that makes people kill themselves and you know do wild shit and lose their fucking mind
But soccer players get that. I know it's so heading the ball. I've heard this and it's so crazy
How delicate the brain is we don't think about it. It's super delicate
And that's why I tell my friends that are all they still like to spar. I was like man. I know it's fun
I know it's fun to spar but don't do it Yeah, don't fucking do it man. Don't do it because you could just slip away and not even realize that you slipped away
Yeah, cuz all you have to do is like spar with one meathead
One guy really and then he hits you you get mad and you hit him and next thing you know you're in a fight
Right you're in a fight in the gym and a lot of fights happen in the gym
There's a lot of sparring matches that essentially become fights where you're just wailing on your full...
People don't break it up? No, most gyms don't. Right. It depends on the gym. I mean a really good gym will
break it up especially if someone's better than the other person and they're
wailing on them a really good gym will stop that. Yeah. But a really good gym
will not want you to spar like that most of the time anyway. Most of the time they
want you to what they call technical spar so you're just kind of like you're hitting each other but you're not like full most of the time anyway. Most of the time they want you to what they call technical spar. So you're just kind of like, you're hitting each other
but you're not like full blasting each other.
You're just getting timing in.
And that's a really great way to spar
if you trust your sparring partner.
So if you got a guy that you could do it with
and he's cool and you're cool and you like each other,
you know, and you can make this agreement.
Like if I hit him, I'm gonna hit him like this.
Like kick him, I'm just gonna, like, stop at the body.
And if you do that, then you really develop sharp timing,
and it's great, but you do have to do hard sparring
every now and then, because you gotta know
what that feels like, and the consequences
of making mistakes are so much more.
I'm gonna be honest, I think about getting into,
like, jujitsu and stuff, and then you start talking
like this, and I'm like, I think I'm okay.
I think I don't need this.
I think I'm not built for it.
Yeah.
Well, I know. I'm a grappler.
Well, you got Assan looking good.
I went, by the way, mothership is beautiful.
Assan took me yesterday.
Thank you. Gorgeous.
Mitzi's also, I, as a non-drinker,
I didn't have any interest in Mitzi's,
and then I went there and I was like, oh, this is a vibe.
Yeah. This is like a speakeasy.
And then I heard it shut down for anybody,
but comics after a certain hour.
Yeah. That's awesome. After 11 p.m.,m. Comics and their friends. That's awesome. But yeah, it's on looks good, dude
And he said he was training with you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I got those guys on a workout boot camp Shane Gillis a song Derek Poston
Brian Simpson
Duncan Trussell is post and still doing only meat. He's doing carnivore. He told me he was doing that so the Sun
Yeah, I got them on that for January. It was World Carnivore Month
And I said I just want you guys to try this one month. He said it was so hard eggs
You could eat it is hard. Yeah, but once you get accustomed to it like that's how I eat man
I mean, I'll still eat
Whatever I want every now and then yeah, but the vast majority of my diet is all just meat and eggs
No veggies very little if I want to like the other night
I had a salad I felt like having a sound and blood work is all good now. Oh, it's great. Everything's great. Look at that
Yeah, no, it's amazing. It's like your body
Wants to eat real food and if you're eating bread and all that bullshit it's not real food it's
just your body's like I'm never tired okay so through that I used to get the look I 100%
I'm addicted to pasta like if you give me a big bowl of like linguine with clams I will
fuck that up I'll fuck some lasagna up you put a pizza in front of me, I can't stop eating.
I'll eat a whole pizza, a whole extra large pizza.
But that's not good for you.
And when I would eat like that, I would always crash.
I would get these moments, like the middle of the day,
I was like, I gotta take a fucking nap.
I wanted to take a nap.
I love that feeling.
It's a great feeling. It's so fun. It's so fun to just be able to take a nap, if you can. But if you're busy and you can't take a fucking nap. I can want to take a nap. I love that feeling. It's a great feeling So fun. It's so fun to just be able to take a nap if you can
But if you're busy, you can't take a nap and now you got to go do things and you're all droopy
Yeah, but when I started eating only meat one of the first things I noticed is that my energy levels were completely level
Throughout the day it was flat. It never went up. It never went down. I was like this is crazy
Like I'm not getting tired right where I'm expecting to get tired
And then I realized oh, that's probably an insulin dump like my body's probably fucked up from all this carbs
Yeah, all this sugar and bullshit that I'm putting in my body and as soon as I stopped doing that I felt so much better
And that's what those guys said that's what a son said Derek said they're like dude. I feel so much better
I have so much more energy
Yeah, cuz you're not poisoning yourself. Yeah, I did like a keto style
It was called soda this thing before I film the special I let go like 20 pounds and it was I didn't realize
The idea of eating fat instead of carbs is fat even with a smaller amount is just more filling
So car you can eat 200 calories of carbs your yeah protein and yeah, protein and fat. Carbs, I'm hungry again right away.
If I have even just a teaspoon,
a tablespoon, a tablespoon and a half of olive oil,
I'm good for four or five hours usually.
Yeah, it's a higher satiety level.
So if you just eat a 16 ounce steak,
you put a 16 ounce ribeye in front of you,
and if that's all you're eating, you'll be full.
You'll eat that, you're like, that was great. But if there's mashed potatoes right next to it with gravy yeah, and then maybe some french fries
And then maybe over there. There's a little bit of spaghetti and meatballs like I'm gonna keep eating right
I'm gonna keep stuffing my fat stupid face, and then I'm gonna at the end of it. I'll be like this
Yeah
Which is still my favorite thing to do yeah, but it's really bad for you. Yeah, it's a great feeling
That's really like drinking great feeling. That's really bad for you. Yeah, I don't I don't drink, but I will gorge
Yeah, it's not good man. It's not good you really especially one of things as you get older you you realize
There's there's a giant difference between people my age that take care of themselves and people my age that neglect their health
Difference between people my age that take care of themselves and people my age that neglect their health they they
Deteriorate like I have friends that are my age and when I tell people we're the same age
They're like what yeah like the other people can't even believe it. How is that guy your age? Yeah, because he didn't do anything. He didn't take care of himself. We have to take care
You got to treat your body like it's a fucking car. Yeah, if your car's got a fucked up transmission get it fixed
Yeah, if you change your fucking oil stupid. Have you have you seen this guy Brian Johnson? He was on flagrant
He's fascinating. He's fascinating. Yeah, he says he eats like 1800 calories a day and he's the saying he says it's kind of fire
He goes every calorie is fighting for its life
Every calorie has a purpose and if we can't find a purpose for you
You're you're out. Yeah, every piece of food has a purpose. It's also like injected his son's blood into him. Yeah
Yeah, it's so when I first read articles, here's what I'll say when I would just read articles
He's coming on the pod
We're researching and I'm like they paint him as like this billionaire
Fuck boy who just wants to be a billionaire and have sex with 18 year old or whatever they kind of
Make him seem like that when you talk to him
He's like I think humans can live forever with the help of AI and I just want to push us there and you feel like
Oh, yeah
This is not he's not like he was wearing like a unicorn shirt when we saw him and like some blue corduroids no nothing fashionable about
This man he just and I think his dad is pretty sick
And so he I think wants to make humans live forever very soon so his dad can stick around
It's actually like there's a lot more nobility to it when I talk to him than when I just read articles about him
Isn't it interesting that you would be skeptical about a person who wants to live longer? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, well a billionaire who wants to live forever sounds those things together sound evil genius like lix luthort
Right, but it also makes people's like no everybody's gonna die
Yeah, it's like especially poor people that don't have the money to do all the shit that he's doing because what he's doing
It's cost like millions every year. Yeah, two million. I think a year on his body. Yeah, that's crazy
Yeah, Lebron's wins a million a year and this guy's not even an athlete, but two million a year. Yeah, I
Mean he looks okay.
He looks great dude.
It looks pretty good.
He looks better.
He's in better shape obviously than he was five years ago.
Yeah.
He's also a vegan though, which I found fascinating because there's not a lot of evidence that's
good for him.
He didn't think that was healthy.
He thought he could be as healthy and protect the environment I believe.
He thought the environmental cost of meat right now is too high.
Yeah, he should read more.
It's not protecting shit. You're encouraging monocrop agriculture
You're encouraging the death of untold numbers of creatures when they fucking when they when they
When they cultivate those crops when they they cut them down and run those fucking combines through them
Everything dies dude if you think one life is one life
So if you think like a bison is as important as a mouse
Well, you're a hypocrite because those
ground squirrels shrews
Really yeah ground nesting birds of fawns
Rabbits
Things get fucking destroyed if you talk to farmers
One of the things you see after they run a combine
through the field is vultures.
Vultures and crows just flying over the field.
Because they know everything got fucked up.
So if one life is one life.
And this is not to say that there's not a horrific
loss of life every day with like chickens.
The number of chickens that get killed
in this country every year is in the billions
Yeah, it's in the billions. Yeah, how many chickens do we kill every year? Let's find out
I was watching this thing on all the different animals that get killed like what's the the highest number of animals get killed?
It's a chicken. It's gotta be chickens chickens is high up there
I don't know if it's number one, but there's a there's a lot a lot of different things
Yeah, yeah, yeah eaten by people. Yeah, but monocrop agriculture is terrible for the environment. It's not good
It's bad because you you just like topsoil. You're not supposed to have one
17
Billion, I think that's a billion. What's that?
Eight billion chickens chickens eight billion chickens every year
Us 214 million turkeys that's right. You're good turkeys
They're like they only exist because of Thanksgiving. Yeah wildly overrated meat very overrated. Yeah, I'm amazed that there's
Eight times more look at the shellfish. Oh my god. 43 billion. No, that's fire.
I love shellfish.
That one, they got it.
Three billion fish.
23 billion?
Oh, million ducks.
Yeah, 23 million ducks.
Worldwide chicken said it was like 70 billion.
70 billion?
Whoo, every year.
That's crazy.
Dude, every year we kill 70 billion chickens.
Makes sense though.
If there's eight billion people, we all probably eat about nine chickens a year on average. You know the other day. Yeah. Yeah. I have chickens
I have chickens in their suite. They're my pets really weird
Yeah, I have like 15 chickens and they they make eggs. I eat their eggs, but they're they're not worried about me at all
I'm like hey ladies. Yeah, I'm by giving food. They get excited to see ya. You got a lot of land out there then.
Yeah.
Yeah. Are you raising any other animals?
No.
Are you doing a full farm or just the chickens?
No, just chickens and trying to keep my dog from eating the chickens.
My dog would be terrified. My dog is seven pounds.
He'd be terrified of your dog and chickens.
Both. Freaking out.
That's funny. What kind of dog is it?
It's a multipoo. Happy.
Aww.
I love him, dude. I didn't want a small dog
My wife made me get a small dog, and I'm so happy anybody doesn't like small dogs. I say me Carl
Yeah, he's fantastic. Is he in your lap. Yeah, look at this guy do
Carl look at a little Carl. Yeah, it's the best. Yeah dogs don't get any cuter than Carl. Yeah, they just get different. Yeah wonderful
Just traveling with a small dog is so much better than yeah, they're great little buddies. Yeah, they're little pals dude
I got the full sling. I'm gonna send Jamie a link. I got the full sling. I put him in there
Don't get punched. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah film crush the dog to death no I could never I would have to fall
It's like a mother holding the Sun. You know you got instincts I'm in a phone cracked. Oh if I get a crack saying like that Chinese lady. I saw yeah
Yeah, I'm probably about as strong as her so yeah. She was a big lady. Oh, then definitely
Let's why she got waylaid it's fucking the dude just stood over her after he waylaid her
He just stood over her and he pretended like nothing happened. He was talking to somebody else
You know young enough.
Yeah, I feel like young kids scare me the most because they don't know the value of a life yet.
No.
They don't get it.
I saw one kid that died in New York City. These guys just walked up to him and cracked him and he fell backwards over the curb and
fell back and slammed his head on the street.
Oi.
And died for nothing, for 20 bucks bucks they robbed him from $20 that's
all he had on him I know it's crazy it's just crazy that there's that our
society is so fucked up that we've been spending so much money on shit like wars
overseas yeah and not nearly enough money on trying to figure out a way to
have the minimal amount of
people grow up to want to punch people in the face on the street yeah the bear
like put a stop to feel like they need to punch people figure out a way to
mitigate that like there's there's got to be a science behind it like what is
the problem well abuse at home violence in their neighborhood poverty drugs
gangs all that stuff.
If they could pump money at that, what would the downstream effects of a lack of crime
and violence, if you could give people hope and educate them at an early age and set people
up saying, I'm going to help you, I'm going to mentor you, I'm going to get you along
in life.
The amount of money that we would spend to do that would pay for itself four, five, six times over
and less crime, less bullshit, less losers,
less problems, less prisons, all that.
I just, so much of it seems like it just starts at home
and there's a generational trauma thing
that you hear about a lot and it's like, yeah.
Like we were talking about with the East Coast.
Exactly.
There's a little bit of generational trauma there.
Yeah, I had so much, I had to think about,
my dad struggled with alcohol abuse,
struggled with a lot of stuff,
and I had to understand what his life
was supposed to be in India,
and then what it was gonna be here.
In India, he was like set.
He'd passed this exam that like five million people
apply for and they select like 200.
Like he was gonna be a millionaire bare minimum,
24 years old, then he's at another family member's wedding,
and his little cousins are like,
hey, you're getting married today too.
He had no idea, arranged marriage,
getting fitted for clothes on his way to the wedding.
And then they're like, you're also moving to America.
Because in the 70s in India, they're just thinking,
oh, if he's successful in India,
he'll be even more successful in America.
The language barrier you never think about.
And I thought about somebody, one of my cousins,
it struck me because he goes, your dad is so funny.
And I was like, what are you talking about?
He's the least funny.
He goes, your dad's not funny in English.
He's so funny in Hindi.
And I was like, oh, this guy doesn't,
this language he's not that good at.
And he couldn't navigate the world
the way he could in India.
He was supposed to be a superstar.
Then he comes here and he's in Texas
as a brown guy in the 70s, probably less than to all these people. And He was supposed to be a superstar. Then he comes here and he's in Texas as a brown guy in the 70s,
probably less than to all these people.
And he's used to being a star and he can't be funny
and he can't be himself.
And that just sucks the life out of you slowly day by day.
What did he do in India?
It's called a PCS officer.
So there's a movie called 12th Fail, a Bollywood movie.
I love Bollywood, but it's about a different post,
but equally competitive.
That one is like IS, and then PCS is like
a government officer, kinda like state police, I guess,
but like, you are at the very least well-respected,
and if you wanna be rich and take some bribes,
you can do that, and my dad would've done all of that.
He would've taken all the bribes, all the bribes.
And in India, he just kinda knew,
he knew the culture, he knew how to navigate,
he knew how to grease the wheels and all of that that how to talk to people to get what you want
Here he's not charming because he doesn't know English well enough there. He can get anything he wants here
He's just struggling trying to figure it all out
and so
I've become keenly aware of like I don't know if we as immigrant kids appreciate everything our parents had to go through to get
Here for us. I'm not here without that.
Well, if my grandparents,
it was actually my grandparents' parents that moved here,
but if they weren't the type of people that were so gangster
they were willing to get on that boat,
I would be in Europe somewhere.
Yes, yes.
I'd be in Europe, hanging out in a cafe,
smoking cigarettes, talking shit.
Yeah, I would be a fat, spoiled piece of shit.
And it would have been fun, I'd have been a rich kid, but growing up in India, I wouldn't have been this, what I am here, I would be a fat spoiled piece of shit and it would have been fun
I'd have been a rich kid but growing up in India. I wouldn't have been this what I am here
I know that yeah, you want your own
Ability to carve a path and there's a lot of countries where that's not an option
Yeah, can't really carve a path to do whatever you want to do. Yeah, that's not available to everybody everywhere
Yeah, man, hopeless poverty. I have I'm not saying there's not extreme poverty in America, there
is, but I've seen hopeless poverty in India where it's just like, I don't know how y'all
get out of this in three generations even.
Yeah, when you fly into Brazil, one of the things that happens when you fly into Rio,
we would do UFCs there, you go through the favelas, the airport and the drive from the
airport to where the beach where we're staying, you drive straight through the favelas the airport and the drive from the airport to this to where the beach where we're staying
Yeah, you drive straight through the favela. So all to the right of you is shanty towns and you see extreme poverty
Yeah, and if you have you ever seen that movie the city of God. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Whoa, yeah, my friend 80 Bravo said that makes boys in the hood look like Sesame Street. Truly
I remember thinking it was gonna be an uplifting film, so I was horrified watching the whole thing.
But yeah, it's crazy, man.
And my friends from Brazil say that's exactly what it's like.
That's exactly what it's like in the favelas.
It's bad.
The runts, the kids that take over, they're like nine years old.
And they end up killing people.
Yeah, unbelievable.
They have no respect for life, no understanding.
I mean, their frontal cortex isn't even beginning to form.
Yeah.
They're not, you're 25 before you figure out
what the fuck you're even doing with yourself.
I remember riding a train in India with my mom.
My mom has like fibromyalgia, all these joint issues,
and then they, like we had to move train stations,
all this stuff, or like platforms or whatever,
and everybody's just rushing, and people are like screaming,
trying to get off the train.
So many people are getting on.
People are like screaming, like please just let me get off. And I'm like, yo, people are gonna screaming trying to get off the train. So many people are getting on. People are like screaming like,
please just let me get off.
And I'm like, yo, people are gonna die doing this.
And then we talked to family in India
and they might've just been saying it flippantly,
but they said the cheapest thing in India is a man's life.
They said it in Hindi, but like the idea
that you just grow up around so much trauma
and whatever that it's, it is what it is.
When there's a billion people and that's what India has,
a billion.
On a land a quarter the size of America.
So a quarter the size of America,
three times the population.
That's nuts.
Dude, the 0.4 of India's population,
1.4 billion, is bigger than America.
That's nuts.
So bigger plus a billion.
That's nuts.
You have to think a quarter the size of America,
and three times the population.
If you really put that all together,
you're just like,
what?
It's madness.
And I love India and I love going back.
And I also just understand how privileged I am
that I was raised here and I feel like we as immigrant kids
take that for granted sometimes.
Isn't it interesting how like some places just,
well, I guess it's the older ones, right?
Like think about high population places.
It's China, which is like our oldest civilization
Yeah, China has thrived economically for four
Thousand years. Yeah, four thousand years. Yeah, so of course they have a billion people. Yeah true
They I mean obviously there's serious poverty and all sorts of problems in China
But the point is they've been a unit for four thousand years. So people have been fucking
Yeah, they've been fucking for four thousand years so much that they had to say you can only have one kid. And then they ruined
everything. That's stupid idea. Then they ruined everything. So there's so many more
men than there are women. So now they have a real problem. And then they realized that
they were going to have a real problem so they started changing it so you could have
more kids. I think you can have three now, right? Is that what China's policy is now?
Are you not worried about China as a threat to America for global dominance?
I guess is a... I can't think of a better way to say it, but are you worried about China?
I think they're already one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They've infiltrated all of our universities.
They give grant money.
They pay for things.
They buy up farmland.
So smart. They've been buying up farmland around military bases
They sell America cheap cell phone towers and internet routers
They sell them cell phone towers at a discounted rate so that they can have their cell phone towers around military bases
So they could listen to everything everybody fucking says
I mean, yeah, and then they get caught using like third-party access to like
Huawei got kicked out of America. Oh, that's right. Yeah, you can't about this
Oh, yeah, I was ready to buy a Huawei phone because Huawei at one point time have the dopest phones really bro
Their phones are so dope their phones are incredible
They had cameras and batteries that were so much better than iPhones or anything that was available in America at one point in time
and they were just making these insane phones and
I remember they made a Porsche design phone. It was a Porsche design Huawei phone
I'm like, this is the craziest one I've ever seen. Yeah. Yeah, and
And then all sudden they put a ban on them and I'm like there must be some real shit going down
If the United States government.
Yeah, we let them get away with a lot.
What does it say here, Jamie?
There's a fine when you, or there was a social upbringing
fee or a social maintenance fee.
Oh, in China if you had more than one kid.
And then it says the Sichuan province abolished the three
child policy, making it completely.
Lair and parents illegally have as many children as they want. The real problem is the lack
of women. It's the different what is the population difference between men and women in China.
I think it's like 60 something percent men. Yeah, that's yeah, that's a problem. That's
a real problem because the reality at least in America
America has a very high level of men who are single and
Have no sex. Yeah, it's pretty high. I was one of those for a long time. Here it is
720 male inhabitants and 689 female that's not too bad
That is but what is that about that's not 60% now. It's a little over 50
I think like 54 probably 53 if I had to guess okay park. That's not too bad. Yeah
China's total population decreased for the first time in decades in
2022 and population decline is expected to accelerate in the upcoming years.
And that's because of the population of women versus men.
Yeah.
And then the sorry, the gap in genders could increase because the older people that didn't
have the one child policy, they're going to start dying off.
Exactly.
Exactly.
And so in America, like what was there was some study recently that they were talking
about the amount of single men and men who don't have girlfriends yeah and it's crazy high yeah cuz everybody's
got super high standards yeah yeah a chart that shows the distribution from
China from 1950 to 22 and it seems like it's almost the same the whole time
interesting even after they had the one child policy I don't know didn't change
it all it's so it's only a 51 to 48 pretty much the entire time.
Yeah. Interesting.
I would think also you're getting this data from who?
I don't know. From China.
Yeah, that's fair.
That's fair. Also, we did it.
Perfect. Yeah, that's fair.
Nobody died.
Yeah, nobody died from COVID.
We didn't create COVID.
Yeah.
Why are you calling the China virus? Yeah. Fucking died from COVID. We didn't we didn't create COVID. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Why are you calling the China virus? Yeah fucking racist
Yeah, yeah, no one's even mad at China for killing a billion people. Yeah, the idea there's this idea that if I criticize a
Government I'm criticizing the people like the idea if you criticize Israel your anti-semitic. It's like guys
Let's like all you know, I criticize the Chinese government Israeli government
I have no problem with you as groups of people y'all are wonderful
Yeah, government get y'all are the other little nuts of
Course yeah, even with America. Yes, absolutely like if you have an American flag your races shut up
Yeah, America is all of us. You can't let the corrupt government take your fucking flag and decide that that's a colonizers flag
That's so stupid. That's all of us the children of immigrants yes thousand percent and if I go to Europe and they make fun of America
I don't think they're making fun of me.
I don't think they hate Americans.
I'm not like, how dare you?
Meanwhile, you're probably accurate.
I'll probably laugh along with you.
Tell me more shit.
Yeah, you're probably right.
What do you guys think is funny about us?
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, we're killing everyone with our food.
Sure, yes, let's go.
We are definitely doing that.
Yeah, I hate that I've become that guy,
but I've become that guy.
Well, Russia doesn't allow GMO foods. They don't allow it. You have to, everything has to become that guy, but I've become that guy well Russia doesn't allow GMO foods
They don't allow it. Yeah, you have to everything has to be organic in Russia
I hate that but I went to Europe and then I had tasted like the food there and not that they're the best chefs
But the quality of everything is just so much more clean and pure and then you taste the stuff in American
You're like oh, this is they're right this stuff sucks. It's killing us. Well, we just have so much fast, cheap food.
Yeah.
Fast, cheap food that's terrible for you
and that you never get satisfied.
You wanna keep eating it.
But like Will Sylvain was telling me years ago,
he went to London in like 07,
I just moved to New York, we were talking
and he was like, the chicken in London is actually white.
In America, it's called white meat,
but it's kinda like yellowish, you ever notice?
And I'm like, I guess.
And then he goes, if you go to London or France
or wherever and you eat the chicken, it's purely white
because they don't allow you to fuck with it
like they do in America.
What are they doing to America to make it yellow?
I don't know what they're doing exactly.
You're the guy that researches,
I'm the guy that just talks shit.
But my friend Mike Alvin is just talking
about this exact thing, unrelated, we were just talking.
He was like, dude, if you buy frozen chicken breast in America and you look at the ingredients list,
it's way more than just chicken and breast.
You know what I mean? It's like, whatever nitrate, whatever preservative, whatever,
it's just like a whole, you can do anything.
The preservatives are what really fuck you.
You gotta imagine, what is a preservative?
A preservative is something that discourages bacteria
from eating food.
So what does it do to the absorption
of the nutrients in your body?
What does it do to your gut microbiome?
What does it do to all those things?
And that's something that people don't take any consideration
when you eat something that has preservatives in it.
You're taking into your body a thing
that discourages living things.
And your food is not supposed to last on a shelf. You're taking into your body a thing that discourages living things. Yeah.
And your food is not supposed to last on a shelf.
Like if you eat, I'm sure you've seen those McDonald's cheeseburgers that people take
and they put them on a shelf for like...
Yeah, it's like a hundred years later.
Yeah, it's just sitting there ready to be eaten.
It's crazy.
Some dude has one from, what was the oldest one the dude had?
From the 80s I think.
I think so.
Like 30 years or something.
He's got a cheeseburger.
It looks perfect.
Yeah. It looks like he bought it like at noon and it's six p.m. Yeah, yeah
Yeah, it looks like a six hour old cheeseburger
It doesn't look like a cheeseburger that's 30 years old and I hate but that is a thing
I think about if I'm like, where do I want to God willing?
We have a kid my wife and me where do I want to raise them?
I'm like, oh at the foundation the food here is fucked
Do we need to leave just to get better food? You can get good good food here You just you don't have to do I have to hunt you like 95
that's
bonkers
That's so crazy. It doesn't look that bad. Yo, it looks fantastic. That's this guy nine years
Look at that dude. He's all happy with himself. Look I got it saved. Oh, is he eating it?
Is that saying looks like he only eats that yeah, that. Yeah, I think he's gonna eat it.
That's crazy dude.
Nah, he's faking it. He's not really gonna eat it. He's being silly.
He looks terrible. That poor guy look good. He's been eating McDonald's his whole life.
Yeah, but you know what? It doesn't look terrible. That hamburger.
Doesn't look bad.
Looks perfect.
Especially for that old. That's old as fuck. That's a 30 year old burger.
That's crazy dude. That's crazy.
A 30 year old burger should not last.
A 30 day old burger should not last. It should be gone
Yes
I mean it should be gone like how long would it last?
Like if rats never ate it and you left it in an apartment and then like society collapsed
Yeah, and then you know fries and a burger from 96 it says. Wow. Wow. That's crazy
What is wrong with these people that they're keeping a burger? Yeah, that's actually a great point
Yeah, like what kind of people are these also are they trustworthy how the fuck?
Thinking they could be no good be from Monday. Keeping yeah. Oh, yeah bags of shit. Yeah, probably shit hoarders
Gotta be dude gotta be colostomy bags all the way to the roof
Have you ever seen that episode of hoarders where the lady was a shit hoarder?
No, that would make me vomit for sure.
It almost made me vomit.
I hosted Fear Factor, but Gillis showed it to me.
It's horrific.
I don't wanna show it, because we've showed it before,
but watch Shit Hoarders.
This one lady was a shit hoarder.
I'm gonna be honest, I will not watch that, but yeah.
She was eating the shit.
Oh, dude, I can't do it, I can't do it.
Yeah, I'm getting a little bleh. Oh Dude, I can't do it. I can't do it. I'll get a little oh
If you watch it, it's it's really but
One last meal in there. Yeah, she won't have one last meal when they were about to clean out the place
She's like I've been eating poop for 20 years
What is her gut microbiome like probably better than that guy?
That's the thing that I'm gonna throw up. That's the thing. That I'm gonna throw up.
Yeah.
You guys are hearing about it, I'm gonna throw up.
I know, I know, it's rough.
Unbelievable.
Oh, God.
There's something about eating shit.
Like your body is just like no, no, no, no, no.
Like have you ever done Your Mom's House?
No, no.
Okay.
Your Mom's House podcast, they do a live pay-per-view show multiple times a year where they show
things on camera
they curate these things
and bring comics on and they do sketches
it's really fun. They show you
things that you cannot
see any other way
you would never be able to show it on YouTube
it would be illegal, you'd go to jail
but you could do it in this thing because everybody's
people eating their own shit
shitting it into a plate
smearing it on their dick and jerking off
Send you the thing they made for you. I think I'm not watching. Yeah I was curious if you saw it I heard them talk about it
I think I don't even remember what it was but yeah, they wasted energy on that one to make you like especially
You know can't get cameo type. Yeah fuck off. I'm not watching that you have shitting on yourself for Rogan is crazy. Yeah, I'm sure it exists and good luck
I'm not seeing it. Yeah, I don't need to see that business for you
Yeah, I'm sure it was dude because he knows I throw up
Yeah, cuz he won't meet when he had me on the show. I almost threw up like three or four times
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can't I can't handle it. They're eating pizza and shit. They're like they're so
Desensitized to it. It's like it's nothing
That's weird. Yeah, they've been your mom's house has been like highlighting some of the most fucked up human beings
They could find on the internet for quite a long time
What a misleading title I know my mom's house is such a comforting place
Yeah, I don't know why they came up with your mom's house. Where were you? I was at your mom's
There you go. It's a talk-and-shit. It. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's a talking shit. It's a fun podcast
Yeah, it's really good podcast. Maybe Tommy. You know both hilarious. Yeah, but that pay-per-view show that they do is rough
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's rough and then the normal pot is not like that. That's just a pay-per-view
Yeah, but in normal pod, they'll show you some fucked up things. Okay, they'll show you some fucked up things
Yeah, they talk shit. Yeah
But it's some crazy thing dude. Yeah talk a lot of shit. What a crazy thing, dude.
These subcultures are so funny.
Well, there's so many humans out there that are out of their fucking minds
that they can gather together and get a community now.
If you're a guy who ate shit, good luck finding your peers.
Who's your colleagues?
Now there's Reddit and you just find a guy who's like, me like me, too I go on 4chan to get the real shit. Oh, that's true. Yeah, you want to drill shit. Yeah, but yeah
I put it on a plate. I tuck a bib in I get a knife and fork and then I
Dude, I mean shit think cutting it up
Choking on it was going down, okay
Yeah, you see it stuck in between his teeth.
Oh, God.
Chewing the shit.
Please, please, please, please, please.
Let's move on.
I can't do it.
I can't do it.
But meanwhile, for some guys, they're like,
oh, anybody uploading new shit-eating content?
I'm really excited.
They get home and they're pumped for it.
Yeah, the internet is.
It's like the variability of human beings is so extreme.
There's so many different kinds of people.
That's one of the things that you realize
when you do a podcast for sure.
Because you talk to so many different people,
so many different conversations,
and you realize, oh, this guy thinks different.
Oh, she just has a different upbringing.
Oh, she has a way of looking at the world
that I didn't consider.
And then, it's like it adds to your palette.
It adds to your understanding of people.
Because if you just live in a small town
and hang around with the same people
and you don't like to go online,
you go to the same bar, whatever the fuck you do,
you don't know how much people vary.
People vary so much, man.
There's so much variety on what it means to be a human being.
Yeah, that's actually very profound.
You could be some amazing person who is out there like Jose Andres going to these crisis areas and feeding people in Palestine.
You know that guy Jose Andres the chef? No. Amazing guy.
Oh I know of him.
Amazing guy.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah.
He owns my favorite restaurant in Vegas which is Bizarre Meats.
I don't know if you've ever eaten there before.
No I have not.
Bro.
Next time you go to Vegas?
Yeah.
That place is insane.
Alright done.
It's a full honey pot because when you walk in they have those Argentine grills.
You know what a Grill Works grill is?
It's like these Argentine grills where they crank them
and they raise and lower over a live hardwood.
Yeah, yeah.
So they have fire with real hardwood.
Yeah.
So the coals and the fires crackling,
the steaks are searing and they raise them and lower them
depending upon like what point in the cook it is.
The beginning of the cook you start off high,
like way above the flames
and you slowly lower it down and sear it you walk in the smell oh it's amazing
yeah it's so good well that guy who runs that place is this incredible chef and
he goes he went to Ukraine he was feeding people in Poland when the
Ukrainian refugees were making when they're trying to flee Ukraine during
the beginning of the war and Russia invaded and he's over in Palestine right now
Where is he now? It's not in is he in the West Bank?
But anyway, so this guy goes over there and and feeds people so you have this guy
Who is this incredible chef was this beautiful human being who's like really doing something that's selfless?
Really doing something that's just real charity doing something. It's just real charity
Yeah, feeding people. Yeah delicious food because he's an incredible chef, and then you have shit eaters
On your mom's house you have people that are punching ladies for no reason yeah, you have chaos
Yeah, you have like the wide spectrum of humans, and there's so little thought and engineering in
society of trying to figure out a way to mitigate all of our problems.
Instead, we just put band-aids here and band-aids there and spend more money
and hire more government workers and spend, spend, spend, and nothing gets fixed.
No progress at all. If the government was the private sector,
like the government was a business,
and other people could compete to be the government,
if iPhone sucked, Androids would just take over.
But the reason why Androids are so good
is because iPhones are so good, and everybody for it.
But if you had to have a fucking iPhone,
bitch, you'd have an iPhone one.
Yeah.
They wouldn't even, they have no reason to innovate.
Exactly.
If everybody had to buy an iPhone,
you, our phones would suck dick.
Yeah.
They'd be terrible.
Yeah.
The reason why they're good is because of competition.
Yeah.
And government doesn't have competition.
Doesn't have competition.
The only competition they have is other government,
which is horse shit.
Yeah.
Because it's fake. It's all like funded by the same people, you know, and it's not even
Profit driven like I worked at a non-for-profit not-for-profit organization for a few months
Just says I was a comic trying to make money and I was like, oh no one works hard because there's no bottom line
There's no fear losing your job. No incentive same government employees. They just take whatever time off they want. They don't get fired.
It's the cushiest job every holiday off.
That was super evident during the lockdowns in Los Angeles because the government was
so flippant about closing people's businesses because they didn't lose any money.
My thought was like, listen, if you're managing a city, how about this?
You want an incentive?
How about your income is based entirely on
what the GDP of your city is.
Oh, that's sick.
Entirely. So if you go in and whatever the GDP is, let's say the GDP is $1 billion, whatever,
I don't know what it is. Let's say it's that. If it dips below that, you lose money. And
if it goes above that, you probably get a little piece you'll taste yeah
Get a little taste and you're not allowed to make speeches for $250,000 in your office No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's an understanding. I also, I don't know if this is a reason,
none of these, I don't know if they're reasonable,
but the idea of getting reelected,
I was like, at some point I was like,
oh, they're just, they don't care about making the city
better, they just wanna get reelected.
So I'll go to these special interest groups
who I know will vote for me, this voting block
that I know will vote for me, I'll make them happy
and I'll get reelected.
If you just gave a president or whoever
one six to eight year term, but one term
and then you're out, I think it would help mitigate a lot of the useless stuff
that they do.
Slightly, but you would still get the vice president
taking over afterwards.
They would set that person up.
They would make sure they maintain power.
They'd try to keep the same staff.
The thing about Biden right now,
people are like, why does Biden want to run again?
Even if he doesn't really want to run again,
his staff wants him to run again,
because if he doesn't run again,
if he doesn't win, they're all out of jobs., if you're that lady who's the White House press secretary. You're fucked
Yeah, it was like who the hell's gonna hire you. The next person is not gonna hire you to be the White House press secretary
Yeah, you're terrible. Yeah, you have to stay there
But you get a job doing something from White House press secretary. They're not gonna be like a Walmart is hiring greeters
There's a lot of them female admirals those fucking fake female admirals a lot
of those people like that you see in the White House the head of health whatever
the fuck that person is like that person ain't getting a job after Biden gets
rid of him you think Trump's gonna hire that guy? Yeah I just figured there's
something out maybe outside of government but something. They got to
keep that job they want to keep that job all those people that are working in the
administration they're working very hard to keep that job and that's why you see all this crazy pressure on Trump
That's a big part of it. Ah big part of his cuz he's gonna crack heads
So there's a lot of United people trying to keep him out. Yeah, I think I was saying this on stage or something
But Trump I didn't have a problem with Trump, but the noise that Trump brought I was like, I don't want it anymore
I don't it's just too much for infighting. I feel like there's he's learned
There's like a Trump 2.0 as of now where he's like
Let me just not say the race baiting shit and let me just keep it here
And I think most people casuals are like I could get on board with this guy
Well, also the race baiting shit is a little bit more effective now that they let in 30 million people
If you want to talk about the fears of immigration
Yeah, now people see it. They see the real consequences. I mean they're letting murderers out no bail
It's the whole thing is wild. Yeah, getting accused of murder. They're getting arrested and then they let them right out
Yeah, this is a wild fucking time and no one wants to be in law enforcement
No one wants that job. Yeah, it's a hard job
Nobody cares about you. They treat you like you're the fucking enemy. Nobody respects you. I'm taking your word for all this
I'm very blissfully ignorant. So I'm just taking your word for all this right now
You're selling me. I don't know. Well, you know that the defund the police thing. Yeah, I'm insane
Yeah, that was so then there's this attitude that the police were the problem Yeah, then it crazy like one instance captured by one person to the camera and it just starts a fire keg
Yeah, well look I've been with a I was with Damien Lemon black comedian friend of mine
And he got like I was with him when we got racially profiled. He was going they pulled him over there like you're doing 24
Search the car brought other cops. They were searching me like do you have any drugs?
I was like I've never done a drug in my life.
And he was like, you better be honest right now.
This is your chance.
They sit us on the curb.
We go home and then I look up, I'm like,
they kept saying we're doing 24.
What's the thing with 24?
I looked up, just Googled 24 miles an hour in New York City.
The speed limit was 25.
So he was under the speed limit
and they still pulled us over whole thing.
Now he had one of these.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
It pulled him over for going under the speed limit?
Here's what bothered him.
There's not a 20, there's not a 20 zone?
Apparently it was 25.
From what I Googled it was 25, but even 24 to 20,
it's like crazy.
Yeah, who's pulling you over for that?
How do you know?
Yeah.
Especially if you have a fast car,
like you gotta look down every five seconds.
Yeah, exactly.
And so the one thing I think they were bothered by
is a fan of his who was a cop gave him
like the New York City vest that you can like park wherever you want to. And so he was just I think they were bothered by is a fan of his who was a cop gave him like
the New York City vest that you can like park
wherever you want to.
And so he was just parking and they were upset about that.
But like 24 and then calling backup cars and all that.
I was like, there's something here racial going on.
I've never had this.
I've had a racist thing after 9-11, maybe one or two.
But like that I was like, oh, I see why this is.
And he was just, this was not that unusual for him.
I was like, this is crazy.
And he was like, what can you do?
It happens.
Racial profiling is 100% legit.
Yeah.
There's no doubt about it.
So I think when you see these stories,
Philando Castile, I think was his name,
and the George Floyd or whatever,
I think black people are like,
I've been through that and I've been trying to tell you
that happens and y'all don't wanna listen to me.
Now you're seeing it.
Yeah, 100% it happens.
And then the storm comes.
Anybody that denies it happens, you're denying humans.
You're denying human nature.
You know how people are.
The real root of that is poverty and crime
and gangs and drugs.
And no one's doing anything to stop that.
They're not doing a goddamn thing to stop that.
And hiring more cops is, train them better.
Do everything you have to do. Make sure that the cops is, you know, train them better. Yeah, absolutely. Do everything you have to do.
Make sure that the cops are taken care of,
but gotta fix the problem.
If you don't fix the problem,
it's just gonna keep happening over and over and over again.
We had this guy on a long time ago
that was a cop in Baltimore.
And while he was a cop in Baltimore,
and his whole thing was about understanding
the systemic racism involved in policing,
and that he didn't really realize it
He was pretty honest about it was I was one of the bad guys until he like dawned on me
What was going on? I was the cop that didn't give a shit about the people, you know
I was a guy would chase people down and yell at him
But then over time one of the things that they found they found a police ledger
Like they found a you know, like a report of crime in the area in the 1970s.
It was like some old file.
And he's going through this old file,
he's like, oh my God, it's the same crimes
in the same place, but it's 40 years ago.
Like this is fucking insane.
This is insane.
Like how is this possible?
How is it like 1970, the same crimes are here today?
This is nuts.
And then he realized like, oh my God, this is like,
this is a broken system.
And then there's the whole redlining thing.
You wouldn't, if you were black, you couldn't buy homes
in certain areas.
Like they had systemic racist practices
and then they never did anything about it.
Then they had horrible policing.
And then, you know, the the wire you got fucking gangs and drugs
Yeah, and he realized it it was like oh my god like this is this is a broken system
Yeah, then he just started talking going on podcasts and talking to people about it
What was it did he have a proposed solution to fixing the system? I mean, he's a cop
I mean, I don't know if that's his thing. Yeah, probably have probably has some ideas. I don't remember honestly I've talked to too many people but
Someone's got to do something. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what you would do to do it
But it would be a long process if you think about like you got to go all the way back to Jim Crow
So you go to slavery and then what happens after slavery?
Well, they don't have slavery anymore
But you know what they do do they lock up black men for almost nothing and then force them to be slaves in prison
Yeah, and they create things they work on the fucking chain gang. Yeah, all that shit is slavery
Yeah, it's just and they would find ways to process look we know marijuana
I've done a ton of podcasts with Josh Dubin who used to work with the
Innocence project and now he's got his own thing with the Ike Perlmutter Center. But they find people that are wrongfully convicted
and help them get out.
We've got a bunch of those guys come on the podcast,
including one guy who came on who was actually guilty.
He was guilty before, and we knew he was guilty,
but he got 50 years, and then he was talking about
how he turned his life around in like a month
after he was on the podcast. How long was it after he was on the podcast two months? Maybe two months cut some dudes head off
Yeah, and he was wearing a blonde wig and home. He didn't understand new HD security cameras
Like this dude put a blonde wig
I think I crystal clear footage of him was goatee on wearing a blonde wig carrying some dudes head
How sold were you in the room with him? How good was he at selling himself as this reformed person? Well?
You know what does it mean? Okay?
So he didn't kill anybody in jail and then he's out now
And he's got this new lease on life, and he's out and he you know
He's trying to do something different with his life when you you listen to his explanation of what happened, why he went to jail, so he was a
drug dealer.
Right.
And he had gone to jail before and some dude owed him money.
Some dude, some drug deal and the guy was like, fuck you.
So he found the guy and he pistol whipped him and he robbed him.
Okay.
And he got 50 years for that.
Right.
And it was, he was a habitual criminal for sure
so
Well, should he have gotten 50 years for that?
Well, I don't know. I mean it seems like yeah, it seems like when he got out. Yeah
He's kind of a bad guy. Yeah, but was he
Was that because he spent 25 fucking years in jail. Because he was 20, I think he did 25 years before he left,
24, before they let him out,
which is an insane amount of time
to be locked up in a prison and then expect to acclimate.
And so-
So you're saying did prison make him much worse?
Yeah, did prison make him much worse?
Because it certainly can with some people.
But we've had people on that were innocent
and prison made them amazing.
I mean, something about like the constant studying
and the accepting your situation in life,
even though you were innocent,
and then a lot of those guys got released,
and it's crazy to see them,
like they lost 20 years of their life
for something that was bullshit, complete bullshit,
and then you find out that the cops and the prosecutors
who were involved in their case
had done that to many, many, many people.
That's another thing that people need
to take into consideration.
How fucking dirty some people involved in prosecuting
and convicting people are.
You remember that guy in Pennsylvania?
There was a guy in Pennsylvania who was a judge
who went to jail because it turns out
that he was getting paid to have kids arrested
and sentenced them into juvenile centers.
Wow.
Paid by whom?
So he was getting a kickback.
He was getting a kickback from the center.
So the state has to pay for the population, right?
And then you have private prisons, which is even more sinister.
Because then it's not just the incentive of the people that are working in the prison
and the prison guards union, which is a real thing.
Prison guards unions work to stop marijuana laws
from being, yeah, because they want people to get arrested.
So that people go to jail, so they have jobs,
which is fucking crazy to think.
But private prisons make money off people being incarcerated.
If you make money off a person being incarcerated,
now you have an incentive for incarcerating people.
Just like pharmaceutical drug companies have an incentive
to give you drugs you might not even need.
Yeah, 1000%.
Because they make money doing that.
And if you're a private prison,
you don't even have to treat them that well
because they're prisoners.
Who's really gonna get upset on their behalf?
A few people that we're not gonna take seriously?
So if I don't, if their conditions suck, it's prison.
They're prisoners.
Why do I need to treat them well?
Nobody cares. Yeah. I mean, there's people that complain, but listen, it's prison. They're prisoners. Why do I need to treat them well? Nobody cares.
Yeah.
I mean, there's people that complain, but listen,
there's some horrific conditions in prisons
right now in this country.
Yeah.
And different prisons have different conditions
and people know it and they try to get transferred
to a prison that's lighter.
Yeah.
It's not really a necessarily correctional facility.
It's called that, but the aim is not correcting.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
It's crazy when you look at the rest of the world, like how many more people the United
States incarcerates.
There is a business.
Capitalism has flaws, and one of the flaws of capitalism is that if you have something
that generates income from a specific action, it's going to encourage that action.
It wants more of that.
And then if it's making tremendous amounts of money like the private prison complexes
You're you're going to be able to manipulate things you're gonna be able to harm. Yeah, like you said same thing
Yeah, everybody's got to take the drug and then every other drug demonize it go on television tell people it's veterinary medicine
Yeah, we saw it. We saw it in real time. We saw we saw the devil. We really saw the devil
Yeah, we saw the real thing.
And now they're forced to admit it.
Even the fucking CDC had to take down some insane amount of tweets that they were talking
about Ivermectin.
Really?
They lost in court.
They had to take it down.
Wow.
Yeah.
The whole thing was the FDA or CDC?
I'm not sure that they...
They took down a bunch of them.
They had to settle. What are you thinking? What go on through your brain when CNN is doing that like in real time when you're looking at you and being like that's not
What I looked like what are you thinking in that moment as it's happening?
Like the first thought my first thought is like this is this will work for a little bit till I start talking
Okay, because this is not gonna work first of all this they didn't understand that I had way more people
Yeah, listen to my podcast than they have.
Like, way more.
So also, yeah, also, like, that's crazy.
If you think you're going to make me look yellow,
like, the video's still on my Instagram, you fucking idiots.
Everybody can see what I really looked like.
I was better in three days.
And you're upset because one of the medications
that my fucking doctor prescribed yeah I
talked about a stack of medications that I took I wasn't on TV saying hey kids
you don't need to get vaccinated just take ivermectin yeah no all I said was
I got COVID I can't go to the I was doing shows with Chappelle that weekend
yeah I can't go because I have code but I feel great I took this we threw the
kitchen sink at it and I feel better and then was like, Rogan's taking veterinary medication.
And you were canceling the show,
which is what you're supposed to do.
Yeah, I immediately realized like, wow,
this is how dirty it really is.
Because it was the same verbiage everywhere, horse dewormer.
It was something that was,
they were saying it to make you look foolish.
They weren't saying, a medicine that won the Nobel Prize,
a medicine that's been used,
and it's part of the World Health Organization's
list of essential medicines,
a medicine that's been prescribed billions of times.
They weren't saying any of that.
A medicine with one of the safest drug profiles known.
They weren't saying that.
They were saying horse dewormer.
Because they were banking on the idea
that the casual observer doesn't understand
how corrupt everything is
and that they could just feed them bad information.
But in the age of the internet,
when the government says things
and everybody knows that it's not true,
or when the media says things
and everybody knows that it's not true,
it doesn't work forever.
It works in the beginning.
And there's still people out there
that think I took veterinary medicine.
There's still people that think I was an idiot for taking
ivermectin. There's a bunch of people that do, they're surface
level readers, they read headlines, they watch a quick clip on CNN. That's their
consumption of media. But most people are not like that anymore. Most
people have a real keen understanding that these people are like viciously
corrupt and coordinated.
And when they coordinated in that way,
it was such a dumb checkers move in a chess game.
It's just a stupid move.
You're playing tic-tac-toe, this is retarded.
It's similar to what people are feeling
about the Trump prosecution.
Like you're trying to make this guy look bad
and it's only gonna make me like him more.
Also, you're doing it in a city that's overrun with crime
where women are getting punched in the face on the street.
You've got people pushing people in front of trains.
You've got so many real criminals
that you're just letting out of jail with no bail.
Like this is madness.
We talked about this on the pod, and I don't,
again, what I will see is like,
I see more people just doing heroin on the street,
which is crazy. You see them doing heroin on the street, which is crazy.
You see them doing heroin?
You see them actively shooting up.
I don't feel super unsafe.
There's a couple blocks in Manhattan,
lower, I guess, not like 100s and below,
where I'm like, I walk around a lot,
and I'm like, all right, be careful on these blocks.
But for the most part, I don't feel it.
Remember back in the day when you'd go to the McDonald's
on McDougal, right by the cellar?
Mm-hmm.
You'd walk into there and you'd be like,
just have your head on a swivel.
Stretch, stretch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's a few blocks in New York where I feel that way now,
but largely I feel okay.
I don't.
And again, I'm a guy that's like, I'm a mark,
so let's have your head on a swivel.
But I don't feel that as much walking through the city.
It is definitely, the heroin thing is wild.
But it is different, right?
It feels different.
I also think maybe I was privileged to move
in the safest time New York has probably ever seen.
Like I moved in 08.
I would walk home from New York Comedy Club,
which is on like 23rd and 2nd,
to my apartment on 50th and 8th,
at one in the morning, barely even think about it.
Damn, you'd walk that far?
Yeah, it's just-
How long did that take? About 45 minutes, like a 45 minute walk. That's a little exercise after the show. Yeah even think about it. Damn, you'd walk that far? Yeah, it's just. How long did that take?
45 minutes, like a 45 minute walk, nothing crazy.
That's a little exercise after the show.
Yeah, a little exercise, you just walk off
kind of the adrenaline, you're just whatever.
Actually, that's probably good for going over your material.
Yeah, and then you're going over your set,
you're just taking it all in, taking some time.
It was a great walk, it's peaceful at night,
New York is rarely peaceful, so it's just quiet.
Now, I don't know if I would do that,
but back then it was just like, wasn't even a thought.
And it was so safe.
I really probably took for granted
how safe New York was back then.
And now I don't think it's as safe,
but it's not the 70s or 80s for sure.
Yeah, it's not the 70s.
I went there in the 80s.
I went there for a karate tournament in like 19,
how'd it be like 86, 87?
Somewhere around then.
And I remember thinking like, this place is nuts.
Yeah.
We went through Times Square.
I was like, this is nuts.
I heard Times Square was just like hookers and drugs and...
It was all like peep shows.
Yeah.
Just weirdos.
Yeah, and now it's an M&M store.
You ever see that movie?
Was it...
What was the movie with Dustin Hoffman
and John Voight?
I don't know.
Was it Midnight Cowboy?
It was about like gay hustlers in New York.
Yeah, Midnight Cowboy.
But that's like Times Square.
When people thought of Times Square,
they thought of like these nudie movie theaters
and peep shows and just seedy drug dealers, weirdos, now it's all like fucking, yeah, there it is.
Good fucking movie, man.
I haven't watched that movie in forever.
Small time con, man.
Yo, they made some artistic movies back then
that I just didn't realize.
Like, what's the movie?
Serpico.
No, it's just Serpico.
There's one where Al Pacino's in Dog Day Afternoon, maybe,
where he's robbing the bank or something.
Oh, yeah. And he's trying to pay for his boyfriend's
sex change operation.
That movie being around back then blew my mind.
Because I assumed they were so conservative
that movie would not be an Al Pacino led film.
Well that was actually a true story.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, Dog Day Afternoon is based on a true story.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
In my brain this was such a puritanical time
in entertainment that a movie,
even if it's a true story like this, would never get made.
Well, I think you could make that movie today.
Today, for sure.
But again, you think society's gotten
so much more progressive
and entertainment has gotten so much more liberal.
Now this movie makes perfect sense.
And it's about trans acceptance and all this stuff.
And this was just a movie.
It's not just that.
Now it's in vogue.
It's like Hollywood has no soul.
They're not like, we're being more progressive.
They just like think this is, oh, the wind's going that way.
Let's go that way.
Everyone should be trans, like South Park said.
Make it a chick and make it gay.
Yeah, absolutely, dude.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I'm so glad we have, as comics, realized we don't need
that validation anymore
We got lucky dude. We got lucky because if this thing that's going on right now
Well, actually I think this thing that's going on right now couldn't be going on right now without the influence of the internet, right?
The internet is like created this mind virus
It's sweeping through college campuses and yeah and also the universities and the Marxist philosophies that they've been pushing in universities because of they've all been
Infiltrated by Russia by the former Soviet Union and now by China and Russia together for sure. They're influencing
Oh, they they they they push the woke as teachers the woke as professors the nuttiest
policies and they're literally doing it to deteriorate the fabric of American democracy
They do they have like plans for it. They've thought about like Yuri Besman off talked about this in 1984. I've seen that clip It's crazy crazy. It's crazy when you watch it today. Yeah, they were right. It's a very prophetic. He did it
Yeah, yeah
thousand percent but
you know The internet came along and threw gasoline on all those plans and made it much more chaotic
But in doing so it also created this other thing
Luckily because I think this other thing that we're doing right now podcasts being completely unregulated and
Being on even platforms that are corporate platforms like YouTube pretty fucking unregulated. No one's in flagrant
No one's sitting down with you guys making sure you don't say anything wild correct you upload it
And if you say something too wild they'll flag it or they'll demonetize you
But that's just that could not have existed
Yeah in any other time and so in the time where you have the most extreme polar
And so in the time where you have the most extreme polar social issues, and then you also have the most freedom of speech. Yeah.
And even though like they're trying to crack down on it with a lot of these, a lot of, I mean, I don't know how much you paid attention to the Twitter files.
Did you pay attention to any of that shit?
A little bit.
A little bit.
Fucking government was literally trying to censor true information that was on Twitter, and they were successful.
And they infiltrated, the intelligence agencies
infiltrated various different social media platforms.
And if it wasn't for Elon, we wouldn't know.
We would not know.
If it wasn't for Matt Taibbi and all those people that,
like, and Michael Schellenberger, Barry Weiss,
and all those people who went through the Twitter files,
and were like, look at this. This is crazy
Yeah, this is crazy. You wouldn't know that the actual government itself is trying to
Sculpt the way people are allowed to disseminate information and see the world
Yeah, cuz they've always been able to control everything right now
It's like well we can control a little bit here and there
But I do we can do Tucker Carlson on the other day
and explained to me Watergate.
Yeah.
And I was like, what?
Like Watergate, there was an intelligence officer
who became a reporter, and that's Bob Woodward.
Oh, I didn't know he was an intelligence officer.
Young guy became a reporter, like right away,
first assignment.
Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein is the other away first assignment. Which never happens.
Carl Bernstein is the other guy right?
Which never happens.
Never happens.
Yeah.
The people that broke into the office CIA agents, CIA informants, CIA employees and
then Gerald Ford was on the warrant commission and he was the only one that they would accept
for Richard
Nixon's vice president.
The other guy, Spiro Agnew, they hit him with, I think it was tax evasion.
So he's out, they get rid of him, and then they get Nixon in there, and then they get
him with this whole Watergate thing, and then they get rid of him.
And then he was the most, apparently, he was the most popular president in US history.
And he won the election by
the largest margin in US history.
Wow.
And they got rid of him in two years.
And it was a complete coup.
They took him out.
Nixon?
Yes.
Wow.
And one of the, well, what Tucker was saying, I don't know if this is true, but what Tucker
was saying was that Nixon was, he was very interested in the Kennedy assassination and he had said to the head of the CIA
I know why they killed JFK
Wow, and he said nothing he just stared at him
Apparently it's on video or it's on video or audio or whatever it is you could do you could so he was just explained to me
I'd never known that I thought Nixon was corrupt these intrepid reporters. He's fucking really go-getters
Yeah, they they busted them and they printed this thing and wow. Yeah caught him. He's a crook
I still tend to believe that one more. I was I'm not gonna research. I'll be honest
I want to pretend I'm gonna research but you don't have to research if you just listen to what talker said
Yeah, just listen to what he actually said about it. We can play it for you.
Do we have a clip of that?
Is there a clip of that?
If you listen to what he's saying,
you're like, wait, what?
Like, I didn't know that.
I remember watching all the presidents men
and being like, oh, I see how journalism was important.
These two guys just changed the course of global history.
Bro, that might as well be a Chuck Norris movie.
You can't.
That shit's straight fiction,
son. I'll break my heart, dude. My wife got a master's in journalism. I'm like, yo, what
an important job this could be. Oh, but it is an important job. No, real journalism is
very important, and real journalism is critical for people to understand. But I think a lot
of the real journalism now is happening independently.
It's these people that they publish on Substack
and they have a large following
because people like Glenn Greenwald,
people know that they can trust them.
They're gonna give you the straight dope
whether or not it's uncomfortable for you or not.
That's real journalism.
That's really important.
But as soon as you start working
for a massive corporate entity like the New York Times
or any other one, Washington Post, figure out what it is. And that's where the Woodward and Bernstein, that's what they were working
with the Washington Post. Yeah. Yeah. Do you find it? Yeah. Okay. Check this out.
Well, the New York Times does that all the time. But it but but bizarre that they wouldn't
have an issue with the government tapping into your phone.
They work for the government.
Are you kidding?
The New York Times?
Yeah, the New York Times is a conduit for the lies of government.
That's what it is.
It's their tool.
And they're perfectly aware of that.
I mean, I used to write for the New York Times as a freelancer.
I mean, I've been around the New York Times a lot.
And there are a lot of really smart people there.
For sure, even now, I would less so now, but there's still, I think, smart people
there.
There are, I know some.
And they know.
But they think that that, you know, it's worth it because they're bringing information.
I don't know what they think, actually.
But no, they're tools of power.
And that's like the one thing that you're not allowed to be, even if you think the power
is good. Like, maybe they all support the agenda of the US
government destabilizing the world and impoverishing their own population maybe
they're on board with that even if they are they shouldn't do it because the job
of the media the press is to keep power in check you are kind of like the seatbelt, right? You know, you make sure that
things don't go too far. So, um, and they're not doing that. They're acting as a willing
handmaiden.
When do you think that's switched?
Well, I think it's been the case for a long time. I mean, if you look at what happened
in Richard Nixon, which I, of course, did not understand at all. Richard Nixon was taken out by the FBI and CIA and with the help of Bob Woodward, who
was a Washington Post reporter who had been a naval intelligence officer working in the
White House, working in the Nixon White House.
And then he shows up like a year later and he's this brand new reporter.
He'd never been a journalist at all.
He's a naval intel officer.
The famous Bob Woodward, we all revere.
And he's at the Washington Post and somehow he gets the biggest story in the history of
the Washington Post.
He's the lead guy in that story.
Well, I worked in a newspaper.
I've been in the news business my whole life.
That is not how it works.
You don't take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on Well, I worked in a newspaper. I've been in the news business my whole life. That is not how it works.
You don't take a kid like his first day from a totally unrelated business and put him on
the biggest story.
But he was.
He was that guy.
And who is his main source for watergate?
Oh, the number two guy at the FBI.
Oh, so you have the naval intelligence officer working with the FBI official to destroy the president.
Okay, so that's a deep state coup.
How would you describe that?
If that happened in Guatemala, what would you say?
And yet, the way it was framed and the way that I accepted for decades was, oh, this
intrepid reporter fought power.
No, no, no.
This intrepid reporter, Bob Woodward, was a tool of power, secret power, which is the most threatening kind, to bounce the single most popular president in American history, Richard Nixon, from office
before the end of his term and replace him with who?
Oh, Gerald Ford, who sat on the Warren Commission.
Now, how did Gerald Ford get to be Richard Nixon's vice president?
Well, because Carl Albert, the
Democrat speaker of the House, told him, you must choose him. We will only confirm him
when they sent the actual elected vice president away for tax evasion, Spiro Agnew of Maryland.
So you have a complete setup, like an absolute... Gerald Ford, the only unelected president
in American history, actually sat on the Warren Commission.
Something else that I accepted at face value until I looked at it, I was like, that's completely
insane.
You didn't want to interview Jack Ruby in your investigation of the assassination?
Okay, you're fake.
Yeah, he was on the Warren Commission.
And so, sorry for the long story, but the point is, like that happened in front of all
of us, but the way it was framed cloaked the obvious reality of it.
The people who broke into the Watergate office building from which the name is taken, Watergate,
I think it was six of them or seven of them, all but one was a CI employee.
That's real.
It's like, look it up on Google.
So the whole thing, Richard Nixon was elected by more votes than any president in American
history in the 1972 election.
He was the most popular by votes, which is the only way we can really measure popularity,
the most popular president in his reelection campaign, and two years later he's gone, undone
by a naval intel officer, the number two guy at the FBI, and a bunch CIA employees you tell me what that is those are the facts those are not disputed
facts that's not crackpot yeah I mean I need to I need to look into this I just
wild yeah I need to look in it too he said it I'm taking it at face value and
I'm just telling everybody I'm not taking it at face value I'm not taking it at
face value cuz he said it I had to why it's been confirmed by other people to me
Oh really? Yeah, yeah, that's true
It's crazy. He didn't lie if he lied he'd be in real trouble and the people be saying what he's saying
Yeah, true. That's fair a bunch of stories written about it. That's fair. No, that's actually what happened
I we talked about this on Flaker. We had Vivek Ramaswamy on the pod and again. He's great
I think he's a very poor communicator of his message really
Yeah
Cuz you'll talk about the deep state and all these things that when if you're like me who's a casual guy who I think
Is a larger percentage of guys that really want then who really want to do the research
They're like this is deep state deep state D
And he'll talk about it as if it's just like conspiratorial, dark, sinister,
rub their hands together kinda.
And he's like, no, basically it's just bureaucracy.
There's a lot of unnecessary jobs in the government.
I just wanna cut the fat out,
and we might lose some muscle by cutting it out,
but I think these people are just kind of like,
they're parasites, bureaucrats, just unnecessary jobs,
and they are controlling things in a way
that is just for self preservation
And they think they know what's best for us, but they don't and it's kind of arrogant
But it's like well-meaning well intended. I think they frame it in that it's best for us
He's like I really self-preservation
Yeah, but he said I I think they truly believe and it's kind of like an elitist thing where they're like these people don't know
What's good for them? We know what's good for them, which is very snobby
But the intention is we know what's good for them
Let's do this and maybe at the root its its self-interest these people don't know what's good for them. We know what's good for them, which is very snobby, but the intention is we know what's good for them,
let's do this, and maybe at the root it's self-interest.
But if he called it the managerial class or bureaucracy
instead of the deep state, I think people would listen more.
They'd be more inclined to be like,
let's see what this guy has to say.
But a president talking about the deep state
is a tough sell to the large majority of people.
It is, but it like rings true with Trump people.
Yeah. Yeah, deep state. Like rings true with Trump people. Yeah.
Yeah, deep state.
Like that's a good statement.
Yeah.
People like that sound.
And if he can get on a platform where he can really put his thought, because I think his
brain just functions at a high level, I think he thinks this is how we're going to hear
it.
He's like, you know what I mean?
Like, okay, these people aren't as smart.
I mean, they need to hear deep state.
That's what's going to work.
Well, he's also, what is he, 38?
Yeah, he's 38, I think.
That's very young. Yes, incredibly young.
So he's learning this, this is his first jaunt, right?
This is his first expedition into public speaking
in front of the whole world about important issues.
He's gonna learn from that.
Just like we were saying, there's Trump 2.0,
maybe Vivek 2.0 in 2028.
Vivek 2.0, great.
Vivek 3.0, that guy's gonna be fantastic. Also, Vivek 2.0 will be you know, 2028. Vivek 2.0, great. Vivek 3.0, that guy's gonna be fantastic.
Also Vivek 2.0 will be in his 40s,
which is easier to accept.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's got a little gray in his hair.
That's what I like.
Little bit of life experience.
Little life experience.
Because I'm 39, I don't know shit.
Come on.
You know what I mean?
How can a guy your age be president?
That's crazy.
Buddy, I could barely run a household.
What are you talking about?
Exactly, right?
This guy's younger than you
and he wants to be the president of the United States.
Insane.
Insane.
Yeah, but I do think once he put it like that, I was like, oh, that's a guy I would vote for.
I just want to get rid of the unnecessary jobs. My wife's both parents work for the government,
state government. They don't do anything.
The thing is, if all that stuff that Tucker's saying was true in the 1970s, 1972 or 74,
they're still doing that they're gonna
do it to him yeah probably what they're doing to Trump yeah there's there's an
element of that folks even if you fucking hate Trump you should be very
concerned about this stuff because if this sets a precedent if you can
prosecute your political opponents and Republicans start doing it you're gonna
be furious too if all of a sudden so he gets out and then there's a new political guy,
let's imagine that Trump wins and then it's Gavin Newsom.
And then the Trump administration starts going
after Gavin Newsom and bringing him into court.
And having Republican judges run him up on charges.
If that and Republican prosecutors go after him,
that's not good.
That's not good for the country.
That's not good for anybody.
Yeah, and you're all gonna feel the same,
the same people who are in 2016,
like Hillary got the election stolen
because of Russia, in 2020 were like,
shut up Trump supporters, you guys are crazy.
And it just flips.
And you guys are gonna feel the exact same way
if whoever you like on the Democrat side wins,
and then they do this to you.
Do people have to understand that almost every election for the past 20 years has been disputed.
There was the John Kerry election that was disputed.
I remember Trump, oh no sorry sorry Bush and Al Gore.
And Al Gore.
The dangling participles, right?
Is that what it was?
No.
Hanging chads.
Hanging chads.
Dangling participles.
It's a word phrase.
That's hilarious.
It sounds just as dumb.
Yeah. Yeah the hanging ch phrase. That's hilarious.
It sounds just as dumb.
Yeah, the hanging chads.
Oh, that's stupid shit.
You know what's crazy?
I think they said Bush won Florida by like 500 votes.
And I think about like domino effect and the domino effect of that is insane.
Because eight years of Bush is what got us eight years of Obama.
I think people were so done with Bush that they were like let's give a black guy a shot and
Then eight years of that the white people that were kind of angry about Obama getting elected were like fuck this
Let's go to the guys that gonna piss them off the most Trump gets elected
I feel like the domino effect of those 533 votes is crazy. It's also Iraq and Afghanistan. Oh, yes, absolutely
Yeah, it's the invasion the invasion the initial invasion of Afghanistan in this initial invasion of Iraq
We're out for sure. Absolutely. No proof of that. What's over just 533 votes changed history forever. Yeah
That's one of the wildest ones. It's ever been done. Yeah, the weapons of mass destruction
That's a wild one. Yeah, and that no one no one went to jail for that. No one got in trouble for that like wow
Yeah, how can you do that?
Yeah, and none of us questioned.
Can you imagine?
I remember in college, one guy being like,
this isn't real.
And we were all like, what are you talking about?
He was like, this is George Bush senior.
What war did his dad fight?
He got in a rock.
Oh, fuck, yeah, I didn't even think about that.
Right, and then you have George Bush,
the one that won in whatever it was with the dangly chads.
Then you have 9-11
yeah right so he was a super unpopular president in September and he gets 9-11
happens and then all sudden everybody's on his side yeah and the whole country's
united and then all sudden we're invading Iraq like a year later like
what yeah like what the fuck is going on and that is I remember when the election was happening
They were like no wartime president loses right Bush is gonna win a second term and he won and when Bush's dad was in office
You know when the first initial invasion of Iraq that was a weird one, too, because it was like
Iraq invaded Kuwait and then we invaded Iraq,
and then we stopped short of overthrowing them.
Yeah.
It was weird.
I was like, we'll leave you there,
we're gonna get out of here.
Yeah.
I was just, you know a term just struck me,
remember Patriot missiles?
I was five years old and we got to hear about Patriot missiles
and I was like, that's fucking awesome, man.
Patriot missiles, we're such good guys.
And they had Scuds, which sounds wack.
Yeah, exactly.
Scud. Yeah, the marketing of shitty ass
Great marketing though honestly in 1990 patriot missiles. Yeah, we're gonna kill thousands of innocent people but patriotism
They're good. They did a lot of practicing then yeah
They practice they use stuff that they know they weren't supposed to use and one of the things they did was these depleted uranium rounds
Really which is go right through tanks
They fucked tanks up, but the problem with depleted uranium rounds is it creates horrific radiation and all these soldiers were like
Going through the wreckage of these things and picking up pieces of it and bring it home as souvenirs and
Radiation sickness was a giant factor. They called it Gulf War Syndrome
after the first war, after Desert Storm. For our soldiers? For our soldiers. Massive amounts of
miscarriages and childbirth defects and people got sick and they called it Gulf War Syndrome and
they were denied. They were denied but they were denying that it was real
until investigative journalists dug into it
and found out that it was most likely
the result of depleted uranium rounds.
Jesus Christ, man.
Yeah, apparently depleted uranium is the shit.
If you wanna like fuck up tanks and stuff,
like it just shoots right through them.
Used as weapons because it's so dense,
it self-ignites at high temperatures and pressures
and because it becomes sharper as it penetrates
armor plating, according to the International
Atomic Energy Agency.
As depleted uranium penetrator strikes a target,
its surface temperature increases dramatically,
according to Oak Ridge Associated University's
Museum of Radiation and Radioactivity.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
So it's like the ultimate round for like stopping tanks.
Just goes through them like butter.
Boom!
But the problem is it's depleted uranium.
It's like insanely toxic.
Yeah.
And so Google like whatever happened with Gulf War Syndrome?
The article I'm looking at is from recent.
We sent some to Ukraine recently.
What does it say?
Oh, we sent some to Ukraine?
Of course, we probably got a bunch laying around
when they made it illegal.
Yeah.
Pentagon said it will send depleted uranium armor
piercing ammunition to Ukraine as a part of its new assistant
package, a step senior Russian official
called a criminal act.
Here's a look at the concerns.
Wow.
There's a lot of big gaps in here.
So this is now, but Google Gulf War Syndrome cause.
Man, the fallout from just serving our side in war is crazy.
Chemical warfare, particularly nerve gas.
Okay, possible causes of Gulf War Syndrome.
Possible causes include chemical warfare agents,
particularly nerve gas or pri, what's that word?
Priado-stigmine bromide, which is given
as a preventative measure to soldiers,
likely to be exposed to chemical warfare agents.
So that might have fucked them up too. Psychological factors such as post-traumatic stress disorder.
But what about Google Gulf War Syndrome depleted uranium? Just do instead of cause just depleted
uranium. Yeah. Depleted uranium is both a chemotoxic and radiotoxic element. Depleted uranium is both a chemotoxic and radiotoxic element.
Depleted uranium may be one of the causes for the so-called Gulf War illness.
Proposed effects of depleted uranium may be especially harmful if mitochondrial DNA is
damaged.
Did depleted uranium cause Gulf War syndrome?
Click on that.
What does that say?
The illness suffered by soldiers who took part
in the Gulf War Syndrome was not caused
by inhaling depleted uranium,
according to a scientific study.
Instead, researchers believe Gulf War Syndrome
may be due to soldiers being exposed
to the nerve agent sarin.
So there's probably a bunch of misinformation
that's put out by official people in regards to that, but I
would imagine that would play a factor. If depleted uranium was used, and I know that
a lot of the people, one of the things that they talked about, there was a documentary
done on Gulf War Syndrome, and these people that were actually going through the wreckage
of tanks, wanted up getting it, and they were talking about it that they didn't know. Yeah, the burn pits that John Stewart talked about. That's a big one. Yeah. That's a big one.
He's such a hero for like actually bringing attention to that. That's the greatest. That's fucking terrifying that they would burn all their stuff
and anybody would be downwinded out, breathing in toxic fumes. Yeah.
I have some buddies who served over there and they would talk about how horrific it was. Really?
Man, that's what I'm saying. Even if you survive war, you come home,
who knows, you're gonna have Gulf War Syndrome.
I was thinking like,
how little do they give a fuck about you
if they burn toxic shit and it goes downwind
and just runs through the camp?
Being a government, I think,
this is why there's like some level of sociopathy involved,
is you have to be okay
with this baseline level of innocent death, I think.
It's just what it is. 100%.
And that's a crazy thought.
Well, that's the justification for Israel bombing Palestine.
Yeah.
Right, you have to be, this is war.
And it's Hamas's fault that those innocent people are there.
I'm like, yo.
Yeah, not our fault.
That is a crazy way to think.
You go, well, hey, this is what war is all about.
Like, says who?
Yeah.
Says the only way to do war?
Is this the only way that this can actually be done?
There's no other way that takes longer
and kills less innocent people?
No way.
This is it, the only way.
You want a swat of fly,
you got a swat of fly with a fly swatter, that's it.
It's also easy to talk like that
when you're on the winning side of it.
Or you're not anywhere near it.
Or not, yeah.
You're here.
Yeah, you're here in America.
I was watching some video footage that I thought was legit and it's not and it's I sent it to Shane
Gillis and then I realized after I sent it to him. Hey, man, I think this is a fucking video game
But let me let me show you because it's so crazy because it seems so it's a YouTube but it seems so realistic
I'm stunned by how good video games are now check this out Jamie
I just sent it to you remember the ghost of Keeve we were reading about when the Ukraine Russia was started
It was a fucking video game footage. I bought in I was like this guy's awesome, bro. This looks so good
This looks so good. I thought this was like some high-resolution
This guy's awesome. Bro, this looks so good.
This looks so good.
I thought this was like some high resolution
government footage where they were just showing you
what they can do now.
Look at this.
Go full screen.
Cause this looks so dope.
Look at this.
Oh shit.
By the way, now looking at it on a big screen
instead of my phone, a big like a video game
yeah I was gonna my phone though with my 56 year old eyes
look it look like now look at this look at the fucking ripples
look at this oh yeah yeah
that's crazy it sounds crazy this is incredible
that this is a video game yeah yeah it does look like a video game on the big screen.
This makes me want to play video games though.
God damn it looks good.
Yeah, I want to play this game.
Yeah.
Jesus.
How good are fucking video games now?
It's only gonna get better, dude.
That's a real problem, man.
You're gonna live in that in five years.
100%.
Yeah.
And you're gonna love it.
Yeah.
And you're gonna be happy.
But there was some stuff. Back it up a little bit, bit Jamie because they go back and forth from black and white they show
The the Rockets headed towards it
Little further yeah right there back it right there watch check this out
Look at this when they show like the whatever sensors that they're using in this video game to track missiles
check this out. Oh this is crazy. And then they have a camera on the missile
Wow
Now this seems crazy real this. Crazy real! This looks like you're looking at it through...
Yeah, look at this shit.
Wow.
So they're going through different filters, different ways of looking at it,
and then later on they show the actual missiles headed towards it.
Look at that.
Oh yeah.
See if you get where the actual missiles are.
That's crazy.
That's it. Back up right up right there right there where it's
black and white this is crazy so this is wild shit man yeah the fact that this has
been being done through this isn't the transition that I saw earlier I don't
know when it is it's a long- ass video. Yeah, but it's pretty incredible
No, it looks so realistic. Yeah, we're gonna be the matrix where you're just plugged into a thing and you're just living
Percent I just hope my life is good in that matrix
That's well, it's gonna be better than the matrix because it's not gonna be like a regular life
You're gonna be on a dragon. You're gonna be in fucking you're gonna be living in never never land
You're gonna be living in some crazy Narnia world
Yeah, you can be able to do anything you want. What is the game?
Arma 3 I
Three yeah, I mean this is brand new April 21st. Yeah, I don't even know what that game is
Literally this video came out yesterday
It's fucking nuts. Yeah, just stumbled across my feed and I thought it was legit. Yeah. For like 38 seconds.
Yeah.
So that game is, I mean, it's crazy
what video games are doing.
There's now, like I watch the NFL a lot.
When a guy scores a touchdown, they use like a 6K camera
and you look at that and you're like,
oh, that looks like a video game.
6K, the more crisp reality looks like the video game now.
I was watching a video yesterday on YouTube
that was a review of the Google Pixel 8 Pro,
and apparently it has AI in it
that can give a smile for your kid's face.
Oh, that's creepy.
It's correct, because the guy was reviewing it,
he said, my one kid is never paying attention,
never looked well, then get a picture
of him not paying attention.
Yeah. You fucking weirdo. you're you're changing your kids personality to be like this smiley guy who steers the camera
It's a scary thought you can manipulate people's faces. Yeah, so you could swap their face around
So somewhat Lex tweeted yesterday this picture. Yeah, oh, yeah response someone made that look yeah
Well have you seen the new Microsoft software where they can take a photograph?
Yeah, just a photograph and then with your voice have you say all
Kinds of shit in video and it looks seamless Wow seem I'll send you that Jamie it looks fucking
Seamless so you see it you're like this is incredible. How is this that good? It's so fucking good now. It's gonna be really fun. Here it is, I'll send it to you, Jamie.
I think, I think, yeah, we're gonna see it. Yeah, this is it.
I've been focusing all my attention, all my time on listening. So instead of doing something else, I just listened, listened, and listened. Because I'm a true believer that if you're really bad at something like listening, for
example, it only shows you that, hey, you have to practice listening.
The sound is not synced correctly in this video.
I think it's...
It's gonna get better and better.
Yeah, but this is not how it looked on my phone.
My phone looked different.
There's like a little disconnect here.
You keep blaming your phone for...
What's that?
You keep blaming your phone for these wrong things.
Yeah, no, no, no, it's just, it's going from the computer.
Yeah, no, I'm kidding.
I'm kidding.
But also, even if it's not perfect,
this is the worst it will ever be.
Right.
That's what I always think about.
Right.
Oh, it's not, you can tell.
This is the worst it will ever be,
and it will get exponentially better and better faster and faster
And I think they only need 30 seconds of you talking. That's crazy. Yeah, the Mona Lisa's rapping. Look at this
Give me some of that
That's crazy bro, that's Mona Lisa that's crazy. Bro, that's Mona Lisa rapping.
That's crazy.
It looks pretty good.
And you would not have imagined this five years ago.
Five years ago.
Five years ago you'd be like, what is that?
How did they, that must cost a billion dollars to do.
I think three years from now you're not going to be able to tell at all.
No.
Especially guys like you or I, who've had so many hours of us talking.
There's so many hours of you talking.
But the good thing now then is probably we can just say whatever we want to and I'm like
that was fake.
It's crazy hateful stuff but that was fake.
I wonder if there'll be a way to tell.
I wonder if I think eventually there won't be.
I think there's probably going to be a way to tell for a little bit but then eventually
there won't be.
Yeah and then we just don't take it that seriously hopefully.
Because there's a lot of other things
you could edit on a phone now.
Like with the Samsung phones,
you could delete things from the background.
It has AI.
So like if someone's in the background,
fuck that dude.
Just put a circle around him,
the guy goes away.
Now he's not in your picture anymore.
And then they could literally move the position
that you're in.
So if you're in the center of the thing,
you're like, I wanna be behind that park bench.
They just put you behind the park bench.
Dude, for my special, luckily we got prize picks
to help me pay for the cost,
and then we did like an ad read in the middle.
The background, we filmed it on a green screen,
and my guy Kev created that background in like 30 seconds,
and you can't tell the difference.
It looks like maybe slightly different,
but so many people are like,
did he stop the middle of his taping to do an ad read?
It looks so good.
It just added this stuff into,
which probably before your guy got to it,
but this has just been added to video editing software.
Some of the AI stuff we've been talking about,
it's now built into the actual editing software.
It's like what just happened on screen was
they changed the small amount of diamonds
into a large amount of diamonds into a large
amount of diamonds and it now works in the video that they're using.
Wow.
And just changing things, leading things right out of there.
That would take hours before.
Wow.
It might take a few people to do it.
And now it's instantaneous.
It took 10 seconds.
You didn't even know it was supposed to be there.
There's videos now, I'm going to send this, Jamie, because this video is entirely AI.
The whole thing is a sci-fi trailer for a movie.
It's entirely AI and you would never believe it.
And again, what you just said is only gonna get better.
This is the worst it's ever been,
worst it's ever gonna be.
Yeah.
It's gonna get better real quick,
but this whole trailer that we're gonna watch
is entirely generated by AI.
There's no actors, there's no scenes,
this is all done on a computer.
This is not a sci-fi movie.
What the fuck?
Dude, close-ups. Dude, the people look completely real
look at the ocean the Malphi Coast is beautiful
not the drone shot from the Malphi Coast
who the people moving yeah everything looks real
this is not a snippet from a natural geographic documentary.
I mean what the fuck.
That looks crazy.
Look at that dog.
Look at the dog man.
That's crazy.
Do you remember how bad the dogs looked in I Am Legend?
The tigers?
The lions rather?
Do you remember that scene?
Yeah I do.
There's a scene when Will Smith is going through New York City and the lions are out and the
lion takes out a deer in front of him
And it see if you can find it looks so CGI. It's so corny. They shouldn't even put it in the movie
It's I I wonder if at the time you think it looks real
No, and then you go back and like this is the one now
I remember at the time mostly get the fuck out of cuz I will I watch it
Maybe like ten years later this deer look fake don't mustang that mustang fuck. Yeah, drive around a Shelby
Yeah, so watch this he's hanging out here, and he sees this deer Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it looks terrible We're gonna look so bad. It looks so fake. It looks almost as fake as his marriage
Almost not quite not quite
Some people live in hell.
They really do.
They stay living in hell.
Oh, what a sad case that was, man.
He meant so much to me as a kid.
And now it's just...
All with one moment where he couldn't take a joke.
Or she couldn't take a joke.
One moment and the whole guy's reputation is gone now.
All they had to do was just laugh it off.
I know.
And he was laughing.
G.I. Jane, mild shit.
Not even remotely.
And this is a, it would have been one thing
if she wasn't trying to be famous
and he just brought her into a joke
if she wasn't a celebrity.
But he's not making fun of your wife,
he's making fun of a celebrity.
Not only that, G.I. Jane was a bad ass movie.
Yeah, also she's fucking awesome in that movie.
Yeah.
She's in like Navy Seals she's training for in that movie? Yeah. Okay's in like Navy SEALs. She's training for in that movie
Yeah, okay. God forbid beast. Yeah, God forbid you compare my wife to a Navy SEAL. How dare you?
That was like a big thing in the movie where Demi Moore said suck my dick. Did she really that's fire
That's fire. Yeah, she's a beast. Yeah, I would love for my wife to compare to this Navy SEAL saying suck my dick
It's hilarious. Also, she's still hot in the movie. Yeah, I remember that bald. Yeah, it's great. Yeah, what's the big deal?
Yeah, Jada still looks great
Whatever alopecia yeah, oh yeah pretty uniform with what drove me crazy
I saw a video when we were talking about on flagrant you're looking at stuff ready research
And and there was a video of her being like all I can do is laugh about it now
That's all I can do so then someone it now. That's all I can do.
So then someone made a joke,
that's your opportunity to laugh about it,
but you just took it so poorly.
Well, she just rolled her eyes,
gave sideways face, and then Will,
whatever's wrong with them, that's what it was.
Like whatever's disfunt, whatever he's trying to prove to her,
whatever chaos is in that relationship,
and maybe it is Alopecia, maybe it's like,
that's just so sensitive
that he realized, fuck, I gotta go slap him.
It's like the hot button topic around the house.
She's losing her hair.
I don't know.
But either way, like what a terrible decision.
Yeah.
And also, but also it showed you how vacant Hollywood is
that they gave him a standing ovation just
Afterwards insane for playing a guy who there are abuse allegations around yeah, Richard Williams. Yeah. Yeah
Crazy. There's yeah, just what a crazy fucking thing. Yeah, just the whole thing was nuts
And it just showed how insane Hollywood is now disconnected there
And then it took the next day or so
for the rest of the world to be like,
hey, what the fuck?
And then it all fell apart.
But those dummies were willing to go along with it,
they're like clapping, they're amazing.
Even though you just smacked a guy and ruined the Oscars.
Yeah, assaulted a guy who's what,
half a foot shorter than you maybe?
And weighs eight pounds.
Chris Rock said, he's the least intimidating guy that's ever held a mic.
Right.
Well, I have something to say about that.
I think you might fuck him up.
Really?
I think so.
Okay, fair enough.
I don't know.
I don't want to find out.
I don't know. Maybe he'll get you.
But the point is, it's like he's, this is not a threatening guy.
And to go up and physically assault him is just crazy.
But it's just, you know, people lose their minds, man.
They lose their minds.
Yeah, I remember thinking about this in like, oh seven,
I did like a student film, obviously nothing.
I barely got paid anything,
but I remember I went to go get Chipotle
and then the people freaked out.
They're like, hey, if you want something,
you just tell us, we'll go get it for you.
You don't need to.
And I remember being like,
oh, I could just ask for anything I want
and y'all would get it.
And they were like, yeah.
And I was like, that's crazy.
So imagine actually being famous.
Imagine being Will Smith.
No one says no to you ever.
If Will Smith was like, fly to Columbia,
buy me coffee beans every day before I shoot,
they would find a guy to do that.
How do you come out normal?
There's no way to be normal and healthy and all.
I can't see it in that world.
Well, you have to not participate in that.
You have to not be that guy.
You have to recognize that that's a dangerous road
to go down and you'll lose your humanity.
It's hard, though, I imagine.
And the one good thing about comedy
is you will get humbled.
I will bomb at some point eventually,
and it will remind me, oh yeah,
yeah, I'm not better than anybody else.
Yeah, comedy's a different animal.
It's very hard to be that cocky be a comedian
Yeah, I get humbled. That's one of the reasons why fighters are so nice. Oh, dude. I was yeah, I hung out with
Henry sahooto and Kelvin Gaston they came to my shows in Tempe just the best hang every fighters great
Henry sahooto is hilarious by the way, like he's very shit. He's taking shit. He has five minutes a standup is actually not that bad
I kept telling him I was like dude
I've seen more of your stand up that I have your fights, and it was pretty good
Kelvin just the nicest guy, but yeah, there's a humility to
Maybe Chris Rock and a lot more humble
I mean maybe a lot of people hoping that happens to me well Chris Rock woke up for sure because Chris Rock stand-up got better
Yeah, like everybody that saw him after that like Tom's girl went to see him when he did the arena in town
He was bro. He was on fire really he goes it was like bring the pain Chris rock
It's like she's like markedly better than he had been before really because it was amazing
Yeah, it was amazing and it that's what it was it was like he realized like fuck those people
I was trying to get those people to like me
I was trying to do movies and I got slapped and they applauded that guy afterwards saying fuck them
Yeah, he's too good for that gig anyway that gig sucks
Yeah, and then he had to try to go do jokes after he got smacked. Yeah, which was the worst saying
I'm not gonna address it. I mean that is the worst we tried to like do material
Yeah, after he got smacked the whole thing was crazy. We're not we're not talking about anything else Chris. I you're my hero
We're not talking about anything. Well. You didn't know what to do
Yeah, I never would have imagined that that would have happened
There was a moment to one in the moment where he goes will said something he goes boy
I could and then he just goes on and finishes giving the award
I know why he didn't and that was the mature thing, but I wish he had just unloaded
Yeah
I wish he had just gone it cuz I wish he had just gone it.
Because I'm positive a thought crossed his mind
and then he decided against it.
And I would love to see Chris Rock just...
I think the best thing would have been to do
would be to say,
no one's going to do anything about that.
Like someone could just come up here and hit me
and you guys don't do shit.
And you want me to host your awards?
Like say something real in the moment like that, but how that's a Monday morning quarterback
Yeah, who knows what and you're looking like a bitch being like nobody's gonna help me which true you will miss a big dude
Yeah, you're not but it's still you look like a bigger bitch getting slapped to me like are you guys not gonna do anything about this?
You look like a Karen or whatever well you can't
It's like Jim Carey said he should sue Will Smith for like 50 million dollars
And I was like, yeah, that's you're on board with that. This guy's careers forever altered because of that
Yeah
This guy made some of the greatest comedy specials in the history of the world and we're gonna talk about the slap
Right there with that if not before that but the comedy like his audiences went way up his ticket sales went through the roof Well, up. His ticket sales went through the roof.
Oh, that's good.
They went through the roof.
That's good.
I was talking to the people that handle his shit, and they were like, dude, it was crazy.
Everything was just selling out immediately.
That's great at least.
Because everybody wanted to see him, and they wanted to see what he had to say.
And for a while he wasn't even talking about it.
Because Chris is smart, right?
He's not going to just come out with material right away and start talking about it.
People are going to film it and record it and tell everybody
So he waited he waited until he really developed the material. Yeah, really figured out what to say
Yeah, he is my comedy him and Chappelle and Patrice
I found when I got older, but I remember being kids and being like, oh fuck
This is what stand-up can be and that's a big reason I even entered stand-up in the first place
Yeah
His first two specials were insane bigger Bigger and Blacker and Bring the Pain
are two of the best of all time.
Dude, Bigger and Blacker coming a year,
like a year and a half after Bring the Pain,
it's unbelievable how good it is
to have come out with all your best stuff
that you've been doing for however long you've been in the comic,
probably 12, 15 years at that point,
Bring the Pain, historic, and then a year and a half,
you have a special that's arguably better?
Insane, man. Yeah. Like, I a special that's arguably better, insane, man.
Like I think about that all the time.
Yeah, those are two of the bangers.
If you go and look at all time greatest specials,
those two are definitely up there.
Yeah.
To see a guy like that just get smacked.
Also to see a guy like that hosting the Oscars.
Do you can imagine Sam Kinison or Richard Pryor
hosting the Oscars?
Like get the fuck out of here
Why are you doing that? Yeah be doing that anyway? I mean that was the path back then right?
I think this is a little bit of Monday morning quarterback and we're back then it was Eddie Murphy do stand-up be a legend go
To movies be a legend do whatever you want to after that and Chris was doing the stand-up was still insane
I think not even never scared fantastic you watch that you're just like wow
Four specials that are just like,
or was it this third special,
but all just historically great.
And then you got the movies and you got that,
and now you're just like, I do whatever I want.
He was right there, that was the path.
But the thing is they all wanted to be in with Hollywood.
Everybody wanted a movie or a television show.
They all wanted that Hollywood money.
Because that's the only path that existed before the internet yeah yeah yeah this is a very interesting
time for media yeah very interesting time for what people consume yeah I
think now we might not have as much fame or power whatever and that's fine
because we get to kind of do what we want and that's great I don't know I
think people are more famous now there's more guys doing arenas now than ever
but that's true that's true yes, standups had a real boom.
Hinchcliffe sold out Madison Square Garden
two nights in a row in an hour.
I mean, Kill Tony, I did Kill Tony
after I did Rogan the first time.
I think the last time I was in Austin,
but I remember watching him.
Tony and I started around the same time,
and I'm watching him in Kill Tony,
and I'm just like, holy fuck, you are amazing at this.
He's the best ever
These are the best host of those kind of shows ever. He's so quick. Yeah, I took Tucker to kill Tony
Yeah, that moment with him and cam Patterson was so good Tucker didn't even know he's going on stage. I had no idea really yeah
I wasn't even gonna bring him on stage. I showed up with him
I'm like we were having dinner yeah, and I said me him and Lex Friedman
And I said do you you wanna see the club?
And he's like, yeah, you guys got nothing going on tonight?
Let's go kill Tony's there tonight, it'd be awesome.
It's a crazy show to watch.
It's like one of the best live shows you can go see.
So we get there, we're backstage,
and I text Tony, hey, I'm coming,
I'm bringing Tucker Carlson.
And so we get backstage and he texts me
and he's like, come on stage.
And I was like, really? I go, all right. I did it. I did it once before with Post Malone
Yeah, Post Malone had no idea he was gonna be on kill Tony
I just brought him to the club and and then brought him right on stage and he was like this is crazy
Yeah, and that's what we did with Tucker to just brought him on stage and he goes out there ladies and gentlemen Joe Rogan and Tucker
Croson Wow nuts and he was great. Yeah, he seemed really good. The way he handled the camp thing,
both of them handled that so well, I thought.
It was hilarious.
Yeah.
Yeah, oh, dude, Post was amazing.
Post is amazing.
He was great at it.
I've heard he's the nicest guy, too.
I wonder how he is in that format.
He's so sweet.
He's so sincere.
David Lucas said he looked like
an unemployed crocodile hunter.
Ha ha ha ha.
Ah, it's good. That's good, dude good dude amazing yeah amazing and he just takes the jokes and he's good
Oh, he's great. Yeah, he's a sweetheart of a guy. Yeah him and jelly roll jelly rolls
But on it jelly roll is my favorite man
I love that guy such a beautiful human being truly like a beautiful soul
Yeah him and that Mexican ot here like kindred spirits to me
Mm-hmm we had them both on separately on the pod and I was like I said ot
I was like you need to collab with that guy. Oh, yeah
Yeah
That Mexican ot and jelly roll would be amazing
Yeah, and that Mexican ot manager and I are fairly cool Greg get a jelly roll, dude
Cuz that guy that happened I got Mexican ot is my intro for my special and I didn't realize what a pain in the ass that can be.
And luckily, OT's manager, Greg, was like,
we're gonna get this done, we're gonna get this done,
we're gonna get this done.
That's the only reason I could get it cleared from,
I think, UMG or whatever the label was.
So yeah, but OT was also like, he hit me up afterward,
like, hey man, I love the special, I love the dance,
thank you for using my song that way, just like so sweet.
Like, you did me the biggest favor ever.
And then to thank me is just like, what a sweet kid, man.
Yeah, he's a dope guy.
Yeah.
I like him a lot.
I like him a lot.
Also got the Texas manners, yes sir.
I remember he asked us a question,
he said, may I show you something?
And I was like, what a well-mannered sweet kid, man.
Yeah, who sings gangster rap.
Who will, yeah, who will probably beat the shit out of you.
In like a country flavor,
like a country flavor to his rapping. Yeah. He's very unique. Well, yeah who will probably beat the shit out of you. It's like a country flavor Yeah, country flavor to his rap and yeah, he's very unique
Yes, and cowboy killer was the first song that I ever heard Tony played it for me. Really?
He's like you got to hear this you ever heard of that Mexican OT. I'm like, no he played it for me like oh
Shit, I was like this is good. And then I started listening to his other stuff. They're all back
Fantastic like an artist. Yes. Yeah, I just grew up in rap and that's what he knew and now I think he's gonna expand more and more
and more mm-hmm yeah I love that kid yeah he's great and he's young too man
yeah massive future yeah truly mega talent him and jelly both isn't that cool
thing about doing a podcast to that you get to meet all these interesting people
yes the Bryan Johnson guy was fascinating and you have these ideas of
these people and then you sit down and talk with him and you're like oh that was
completely wrong I guess that's probably most human beings, but without you get this idea of a person and then you talk to them
You're like wow yeah, yeah, yeah for sure yeah, but it's also like other people get that too
Like you're doing a service for other people and it kind of like informs other people like hey
Maybe I have misconceptions about people just because I see this public image, and I think that's who they are
Yeah, exactly ties into what we were saying earlier,
is about letting other people's opinions affect you.
I was listening to some podcast, I forget what it's called,
but the guy goes, most people are very flippant
with their opinions.
They just throw it out there, oh I hate that guy,
I love that guy, they don't really think much,
and then we take it so seriously, good and bad,
but most people just throw a thing out there,
not really being informed, and they don't really care.
It's not that big a deal.
Yeah, it's just talk.
Louis CK told me this once.
He goes, it's just talk.
He goes, but when it's written down,
it seems like it's more than just talk,
but it's kind of the same way people have always talked.
Yeah, that's true.
But if you see it written down
or if you see someone saying it in a video,
like, what did he say about me?
Yeah.
It's just talk.
People talk shit.
Yeah, Louis was another one.
I even said this to him when he was getting so much love,
I was like, oh, fucking Louis.
And then we had him on the pod, he was great.
He's obviously so smart, but I remember,
even I told him that he was like,
a lot of the praise was like overdone,
and I'm sure some comics didn't like me.
I was like, I was one of them.
He was like, I don't blame you.
And I was like, what a cool, honest moment we had
where I didn't have to pretend.
And yeah, it was just, I think that's the,
one of the best things about the podcast thing
is talking to people and being like,
oh, I had a preconceived notion of you
and you're very different than I thought.
Yeah, we get informed the more people we talk to.
The more people we talk to
and the more conversations we have,
we get more informed as a human being.
I think one of the things that limits people
is the access they have to other interesting people. And I think that's also one of the things that limits people is the access they have to other interesting people and I think that's also one of
the things that is really exciting to people about podcasts, why they like it
so much. Yeah. Because now they can listen to interesting people talk, they
can listen to cool people talk. Yeah. They kind of get in on these
conversations and they see a real conversation where it's not planned out,
you don't know what you're gonna talk about, you're just talking. Right. Yeah how much prep do you do typically for interviews because sometimes I'll prep for days and it's just like endless and then sometimes
I'm like, I think I'm okay. It
Completely depends on the subject matter. Yeah, you know, like if there's been people that I've had to read books on
astrophysics, yeah and and string theory and try to understand what the fuck they're talking about
or AI, it depends.
Some people have read their entire book
and I knew they were coming on months in advance
so I prepared for it and then other people,
I'm just like, I can't wait to talk to that guy.
Like that Mexican OT, zero prep, what's up?
I love your music, that was easy.
I wanted to just get to know him in the moment.
I don't want to like, I heard when you were a child,
like, no, I wanted to come out like organically.
I want to have a real conversation with him.
Well, you know, I'm sure you've heard this,
Larry King like just did no prep for any interview ever.
Really?
Yeah, there's a clip of him and Seinfeld talking.
It's so funny where he clearly doesn't know
who Seinfeld is. This is at the height and Seinfeld talking. It's so funny where he clearly doesn't know who Seinfeld is
This is at the height of Seinfeld's fame and Seinfeld is like, yeah, my show is going off the you've never watched an episode
It's kind of a big deal and Larry's like no, I didn't I know and and Schultz always like that's just his excuse to be lazy
But I truly think he's like maybe but he was also like I know the best most organic conversations if I learn all about this guy right here
And my skill set will allow for the best interview to happen that way
Well, the worst conversations are conversations that are canned right where when someone's talking to they don't really care
But there's pretending they care and asking you these things because they have like bullet points. Yeah, I want to hit
Yeah, those seem canned they look they seem bullshit
like bullet points you want to hit. Those seem canned. They look they seem bullshit. You're probably better off doing it the Larry King way with some stuff.
But Larry King did an interview theoretical physicists. Yeah. You know if
you're I need to know something about what you're talking about to be able to
have my own questions. Right. I can't because there's some things that are so
nuanced and they're so complicated that you should have
some understanding of them before you talk about it.
But then other times it's like, oh, guy's a comic.
Yeah.
You know, like, let's talk.
That'd be easy.
Yeah.
I love comics.
Come on, let's talk some shit.
How do you write?
What do you do?
How do you do it?
You know, where'd you start?
Yeah.
I wanna know, you know? It's you do? How do you do it? You know, where'd you start? Yeah, I want to know, you know it's like and
Having genuine curiosity. I think that's a major. That's a major key
It's like actually be curious and some people aren't really curious. They really just want to wait for their turn to talk
Yeah, they can't wait when it's gonna be my turn to talk, you know
But you ruin your own show that way even Even by being selfish, you're actually going against yourself.
You're not realizing it at the time,
but you're actually poisoning your own show
by being selfish.
Yeah, the best thing that I've learned in life
is try to actually listen.
And especially in the more nervous you are,
like even this pod, I come on, I'm like,
just try to listen and respond to what he's saying in the moment and
just stay in your own body and do that.
With everything man, with other people too, like when I'm you know hanging out
with someone, just a regular person, I'm so much better at talking to people now
than I was before I did a podcast. Because I'm so much better at not
talking over someone, waiting for them to talk,
trying to get the most out of what they're trying to say, instead of just listening and
then just me talking, trying to figure out how did you come to that conclusion?
Did you always think that way?
What did you learn?
How did you learn this stuff?
What inspired you to start doing that?
You know, it's like that.
That's interesting to me.
So now when I have conversations with people
that suck at having conversations,
like I can't wait to, I got trapped at my fucking club
by a buddy of mine brought one of his buddies
from high school.
And his buddy from high school was drunk and he's rich.
And he kept wanting to tell me about this business
that he started.
It was, you know, blah, blah, blah,
and this and that, and I turned it into
a hundred million dollar business, and this and that.
I'm just telling you, just so you know who I am.
So, they're like, oh my God, he was so bad at talking.
It was just the clunkiest, shittiest, braggiest.
And then I eventually go, I gotta go.
I wasn't even talking.
I was like, you're just talking at me at me like I don't care about any of these
He just needed to impress you that bad. Yeah, you needed to let me know that he was successful
Yeah, and I mean within seconds of meeting him. He's telling me all this stuff. It's exhausting
so I get I used to get really irritated at that stuff and then I think was Schultz said to me one time because this kid
At a diner like started
Interrupting our conversation and telling us about his education and how smart he was.
And then I was so annoyed when we left, and Andrew was like, yeah, but you got to feel
good about yourself that that guy, for whatever reason, felt insecure around you and felt
he needed to impress you that much.
Right.
So then you would-
Well, it's when someone knows someone from something, right?
If they know you and you don't know them, they need to let you know they're a big deal yeah and
Insecurity and it's like I used to take it as malicious and now I'm like oh that guy
I'm not great at it about but I try to remind myself. Oh that guy is
Meeting probably he's probably listened to you thousands of hours in his head
And he wants so badly for you to like him and he just doesn't know how to do that
And he doesn't know hey if I just have a real conversation with Joe
He'll walk away being like that's a nice guy
And then he just overcompensates with I let me impress him because I did all these things and show him what I've done
And if you there's like oh, okay. Well, I feel bad for that guy a little bit
Yeah, I'm not great at it by any stretch
You definitely should feel bad for him because it sucks to be that guy
Yeah, it has to do that and it doesn't feel good like there's not that never works like no one ever walks away going
That guy's amazing
Feel like the guy just jizzed all of me
You know it's really what it's like you know that guy's worth the hundred million dollars
You know what else doesn't work that people still do is name dropping
Shit work at all no no no that's a rough one. That's a rough. We're partying with Leo
That's a rough we're partying with Leo and you know like what we do
What yeah, please please don't do please please don't do that to me. I couldn't care less. I
Couldn't care less does it work on anybody it might be one of the least effective strategies for getting people to think you're cool
Name draw. No. Yeah, it's truly. I think it works on like people who don't know anyone and they're like, oh this guy knows so-and-so But even after about the third name, you're like, oh, he don't know anyone. And they're like, oh, this guy knows so-and-so. But even after about the third name,
you're like, oh, he doesn't know anybody.
The more names you name, the less those people like you.
Yeah, people turn on you too.
If you're that guy that name drops on podcasts
or named out, people are like, ew.
Yeah, yeah.
Ew.
Every guy who talks over everybody, ew.
I used to do it way more.
I used to early podcast, I just wasn't good at it.
So you have a thought in your head,
you just wanna get it out.
Not even, even if you're not even being selfish,
it's like you just looking for a chance to,
and then it took me time to just look at the big picture
of it and go, this is not smart.
And then that's when I started using pads too,
this is big too.
Because sometimes I have a thing, I'm like,
oh my God, I'm gonna forget this.
Well, this guy's on this rant.
So I just look over here, scribble, and write it down.
And if I do that, I'm good.
You just gotta learn how to, it's a skill.
It's a skill like any other skill.
You learn how to negotiate a conversation
and get the most out of the person.
I want that person to shine.
I want them to have the most interesting thing
that they could say.
I want to help them say it.
I think about that, because sometimes I'll get,
because I don't feel nearly as confident
in podcasting as I do in standup,
and then I just remember, oh, standup is something
I've been doing 17 years now or whatever.
Podcasting I've been doing five, six, whatever.
Like it's gonna take a while.
Also you guys have a unique setup
when there's a lot of folks there.
Yeah.
You know, there's four of you.
Yeah.
And then there's a guest.
Yeah.
When you got five people talking,
and no one knows when they can chime in
and when they should chime in, it's hard.
Yeah, being a team player is big.
It's like, I could try to get my thought.
I try to, remember, I could try to get my thought out now,
but is that, if I'm just gonna be talking with everybody,
is that gonna add to the best podcast,
or do I just fall back and wait?
Headphones.
Yeah.
Headphones are a huge key.
Yeah.
Because then you don't talk over each other.
Over-talk is terrible to listen to.
Yeah.
You know, like Ari, when he comes on the podcast,
we do Protect Our Parks.
Soon as he gets drunk, takes the headphones off,
starts talking over everybody.
Like, Ari, you can't have two separate conversations.
This is a podcast.
Millions of people are gonna hear this.
Oh, I need to give Ari his flowers too.
Jew is- Amazing.
It was one of the big like, amputees.
I looked at that and I was like,
oh, this guy didn't shop this at a streamer.
He just put it online and it looks better
than pretty much anything I've seen on Netflix.
It was cool because all the candles and shit.
A gorgeous special.
I told him this.
I was like, this is, once I saw that,
I was like, oh, this is the bar now.
That's what's, it's set there.
Well, it was also for me, it was very important to see
because Ari had been telling me these things for decades
and had never figured out a way to do it on stage
and decided to do it all in one special.
Cause he was telling me all this stuff about his upbringing
cause he had a crazy upbringing, man.
Like super religious, went to Israel, stayed in a kibbutz
or whatever the fuck it was, and reading the Talmud all day.
He was all in.
And then he's like, this is bullshit.
What am I doing?
And then he becomes a comic, which is wild.
And when I met him, it was like, I guess it was the 90s,
and he was like, maybe, how long ago
did Ari start working at the store?
It might have, I think I was on,
that might have been Fear Factor days, I don't remember.
But it was like, he was a young, young guy
who was just starting to do standup,
and then the more I got to know him, I'm like,
what did you do?
Yeah.
Wow, I'm like, why don't you talk about that on stage?
He just didn't have the chops.
Yeah.
And so it took a decade plus, two decades,
before he developed the chops.
Yeah.
To be able to a real solid, and I'm glad he did.
Yeah.
Because then he became a great comic,
and then he realized how to do that material as a comic.
Yeah.
Which was perfect.
Yeah, I think that's one thing.
I used to try to push myself to do this material
that was personal.
Like, I hope I can make my dad's story into a bit
or something to end a special with or whatever.
But now I realize I don't need to push.
I wasn't good enough to do that back then.
And now as I'm getting better,
I think I can dig deeper, be more honest,
be more personal, tell more personal things or whatever.
And then I'm ready now, I feel like.
Yeah, you could figure out a way to make it good.
Yes.
Yeah, it's a tricky job, man.
Yeah.
It's a tricky fucking slippery job.
Especially like somewhat potentially painful things
that you're trying to make funny.
I remember I would see some comics come up
and be just so awkward, say all these horrible things
they went through and they'd be like,
I don't care if y'all laugh, this is therapy for me.
And I know you're just saying that
because you're nervous because you're not doing well,
but you got to understand how fundamentally wrong, this is not therapy. We're not here to help you're nervous because you're not doing well, but you gotta understand how fundamentally wrong...
This is not therapy.
We're not here to help you through this.
Go to therapy, make it funny, and then come bring it to us.
I remember there was some dispute at Just For Laughs,
and some comic yelled at some other comic that if you're not using your comedy to promote social justice,
you can go fuck yourself.
Oh, Jesus Christ, dude.
That is hilarious.
That's a person that can't possibly be good.
There's no way you're good.
You must be terrible on stage. Your comedy must be awful. I think you also... That's probably a that can't possibly be good. There's no way you're good. You must be terrible on stage.
Your comedy must be awful.
I think you also, that's probably a young comic, probably,
because I know I had these ideas of what funny was,
and I remember watching, I think it was called Talking Funny
or Funny People or whatever with Ricky Gervais,
Chris Rock, Louis C.K., and Jerry Seinfeld.
And then there's a moment where Ricky,
who's the youngest comic in the room,
is talking about these jokes and like,
I don't want to do those jokes because those jokes
Are easy. I want to impress guys like you and then Jerry goes, you know, it impressed me
Leave that joke in don't take that joke up leave that stupid joke in I'm impressed. Just kill. Yeah, I like stupid jokes
Yes stupid joke like a tell
Attails brilliant and silly at the same time. These aren't like super complicated jokes where you're like,
oh my god, this guy's changing the world.
1000%.
Amazing.
1000%.
I just wanna laugh.
Just make us laugh, that's your job.
Just be funny.
And then if you can make us laugh on your terms
the way you want to, God bless.
That's a better level, sure.
Sure.
But is shooing laughs just because I I don't want to know
Doing that because you can't get laughs. Yeah. Yeah, that's it
Anybody was like trying to educate these people, but you're 28 years old you live in a duplex You know the fuck up. Yeah, shut the fuck. Yeah. Yeah, you're not gonna fix the world
I know you think you're gonna but also like that was a thing that Hicks brought to comedy
There was like a real problem in the 90s. Yeah, I hated Hicks for a long time because of this.
I still won't listen to Hicks just because the ripple effect of Bill Hicks is like,
buddy, you created a monster.
He did create a monster.
There were so many fucking people that wanted to be Hicks.
Yeah.
It was so much so that the punchline in Atlanta used to have a green room.
And on the back of the green room, people would write on the wall and it said,
quit trying to be Hicks.
Oh, thank God.
And when they tore that down, and it said, quit trying to be Hicks. Oh, thank God. That message.
And when they tore that down, Jamie kept saying he was going to, Jamie the owner kept saying
he was going to get me that fucking, because they took the wood down.
I'm like, get me that.
Get just the plank that says don't be Hicks.
Just quit trying to be Hicks.
Let me put that up here.
Yeah.
Because I remember that.
Like, ah, there's so many guys, so many guys who wanted to be that guy.
You know, because he was, he just left you feeling like,
even Richard Jennings, who's like one of the all time greats.
I remember Richard Jennings saw Hicks and he was like,
I watched him, I was like,
I gotta do more stuff like that.
But you don't, you really don't.
I actually remember though, God, who's the comic?
His name is escaping me, he's a clean comic,
he's massive, super funny.
Brian Regan, he was saying, he was on somebody else's podcast, and that guy was saying about Brian Regan,
I remember Hicks was really dying to go see you at X, Y, and Z. So Hicks loves Brian Regan.
Yeah.
So you don't need to be Hicks. Just be funny, and Hicks will be looking down at you being like, that guy's funny.
Well, Hicks really was that guy. Yeah. Like Hicks was talking about stuff in the 90s before the internet, right?
So he's talking about all these really esoteric subjects and interesting things because he
was just reading a lot.
Yeah.
So it was like real, he really understood what he was talking about.
Yeah.
That's actually that guy.
If you're not that guy, don't be that guy.
You're not that guy.
It's just be who you are.
But people like that, like, you know, occasionally someone will come along
and they influence everybody.
You know, Kinnison for sure did that.
They'd come along and they're so mind blowing.
You're like, Jesus Christ.
You know, Joey Diaz influenced everybody around him.
Cause everybody, like he was,
he was so quick with his punch lines.
The setup punch line was so fast, rapid fire.
He got to it so quickly.
Like, God damn, I gotta pick up, damn. I gotta pick up my speed
Yeah, yeah, pick up my game. Yeah, you know that way you picked up from I learned a lot from Joey for sure
I learned a lot from also having to follow him because I would bring Joey on the road with him because I couldn't follow him
So I was like this is the best way to figure out how to follow this guy's yeah
I'm with me everywhere. She was fucking killin
That's fire and also I wanted to laugh.. You know, and when you're around Joey,
it's just a party.
He's unbelievable, he's awesome.
Yeah, we had him on the pod once
and I was like, this guy is awesome.
He was just here for 420 Weekend,
it was fucking glorious, it was amazing.
He's on fire.
Because he comes to the club and he gets so much love
that he's so free and loose.
Oh yeah.
The moments when he went on stage, it was incredible.
Because the audience didn't know he was there, unless they had paid attention to the Instagram. So Friday. Because the audience didn't know he was there,
unless they had paid attention to the Instagram.
So Friday night, they definitely didn't know he was there.
When I do those Joe Rogan and Friends shows,
I don't let anybody know.
So Schultz will pop in, Shane Gillis shows up,
Gaffigan shows up, no one knows who's gonna be there.
And they go up there and everybody's like,
this is crazy.
That's what's fun about it.
And so when Joey goes up, they didn't know who it was gonna be. And then Joey Diaz and everybody's like this is crazy. Yeah, you know, that's what's fun about it And so when Joey goes up, they didn't know who was gonna be and then they Joey Diaz everybody
Is he thinking about moving here or no, yeah, we're working on that's great. We're working on that's great. He's gonna love it
He's just too happy here. And the problem with New Jersey is it's like there's too much road bullshit hacky. Yeah fucking comedy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean there's good comics in New Jersey for sure.
There's great comics.
Voss lives in Jersey.
Bonnie McFarland lives in Jersey.
There's great comics in New Jersey, no doubt about it.
But there's also a lot of scrubs and a lot of like just real, just dumb comedy.
Just dumb.
I was at the mothership yesterday and I'm watching this open mic and just seeing all
the comics.
First of all, I remembered I don't miss open mics at all.
I just remembered that pain of sitting there waiting.
Horrible.
But I was thinking, I was like,
yo, Joe fucking did it, man.
He made this, I was thinking if I'm a young comic,
Austin wasn't even a place I was thinking of in 2007
or whatever when I started.
Now LA is not even a place I'm thinking of.
It's either Austin or New York,
and Austin is easier to survive.
It's better weather.
It's nicer people.
I think I would come to Austin.
It's also a more supportive environment
because the environment, especially at our club,
is specifically designed to foster talent.
It's designed that way.
There's two nights of open mic nights.
It's designed.
Kill Tony's there. It's designed for that. There's two nights of open mic nights. It's designed. Kill Tony's there.
It's designed for that.
So from the ground up, you have a chance to go,
you have a chance as a person who's just getting on stage
the first time ever to go up in the best club in the world.
And you have a chance to go and work the same stage
that Joey Diaz goes up in, that Dave Chappelle went up in.
You get to go into that, the Little Boy,
that room is amazing.
That is a tight little room, man.
And you could get that itch.
Little Boy felt like the Belly Room.
It's like the Belly Room and the OR had a baby.
And the Fat Man is like the main room
and the OR had a baby.
Okay, I see that.
Yeah, it's a perfect place. Yeah, I mean, I see that. Yeah, that's what it is.
It's a perfect place.
Yeah, I mean, I was hyped.
I've always said ComedyWorks is the best club
in the country in Denver.
Still love it.
I just got back from there this weekend.
Amazing.
I am excited to kill Tony and then I'm excited to see,
this is my first time in Austin since you built the club,
so I'm excited to see the whole thing.
It's a wild, how many days are you in town?
How many days?
You want me to be in town?
You know what I mean?
You decide. Come by tomorrow.
Do a set tomorrow night.
Absolutely.
Done.
Done.
I got a show tomorrow at 7 o'clock.
I mean, we have big name headliners
are coming in every weekend, which is great.
The local guys get to see the people that are there.
And all the door staff, they're all comics.
They audition with their act.
So it's like a development process.
The store was, but more organized,
not as chaotic and run by a comedian.
And run by a comedian that doesn't have business partners.
I don't have anybody else telling me what to do.
You don't rely on that for income,
which is like, it's a mitzvah what you're doing.
It had to have happened the way it happened.
I mean, it had to be this crazy moment in history
where the whole country gets shut down except Texas.
And so we move here and all of a sudden
I'm doing shows with Chappelle,
we're doing these outdoor shows
where everybody's getting tested.
And then we started doing indoor shows.
And then we started doing indoor shows.
I'm like, I gotta open up a club.
I'm like, we need a hangout.
We need, we had the Vulcan, which is a great place. Yeah, Vulcan's a great
Vulcan's awesome. Oh, I did the Vulcan right after you came on flagrant the next day. I was the last time I was in Austin
It's a great club Vulcan's great. It's a great club to kill in too. Yeah, but I was like this is an hours
We you know, they have like techno music there and the EDM some nights and yeah
It's like I want we need to set something up.
And I had that Spotify money and I'm like,
listen, if anybody's gonna do it, it's gotta be me.
And if any time, there's a time to do it, it's now,
because people were willing to move
so that they could go on stage.
Because LA shut everything down for so long,
that so many comics, like you guys are doing shows,
and then guys like Derek and Assan, they came early Brian Simpson. He came out there early. Derek Poston is so goddamn funny. He's getting so good, dude
Man, it's so good. I saw him before mothership cuz he I saw him host Andrew show. He's a good host
He's a good host and I was like, I'll bring him on the road
And then I thought you know one thing I try to do to pay for it
How Schultz helped me is that once I get to know you
and I think I know how you're funny,
I'm like, hey, well, let's watch your set if you want
and I'll see if I can give you some advice.
I'm not the end all be all,
but I'll try to help you how I can.
So I had Derek feature one show and then I watched the set
and I was like, buddy, I barely got,
I got some tags for you.
But I don't see like structurally, oh, you could do this.
You could do X, Y, Z.
You're so fucking funny
Unbelievable well the level of the guys coming up is very high and there's also in Austin There's so many places to perform. Yeah, just on the block where the mothership is yeah
So you have the mothership right down the street you have the sunset strip club you have a Brian Redbans club right over there
You have the creek in the cave right over there you at the bulk and the Velveeta room
There's someplace called the green room. Then you have cap city. You have a bunch of different clubs on the east side
There's like hipster clubs and lesbian shows and there's like fucking comedies everywhere. Did you have made this a comedy hub?
It's it's a marvelous thing like an insane thing that you've done. It's pretty wild. It's insane to move
LA over to Austin is crazy.
But to make it better.
Yeah.
Make it better.
Truly.
Make it better and make it completely disconnected
from all those people that'll poison your act
with their fucking Hollywood bullshit.
And actually I said LA to be honest, I meant New York.
This is what I heard New York was.
When I went to New York, it wasn't friendly,
but it was, you'd have to pay to go to most open mics,
five dollars and the free open mics, this is when the alt scene was kind of running things. So if you talked about anything that wasn't friendly, but it was, you'd have to pay to go to most open mics, $5. And the free open mics,
this is when the alt scene was kind of running things.
So if you talked about anything
that wasn't like a video game or anime,
they would judge the fuck out of it and be brutal.
There was no support built in.
So you've taken the best parts of New York
and brought it to Austin.
And again, a city that's much cheaper and much less harsh.
Being poor in New York is rough.
Being poor in Austin, it's not that bad.
It's not bad.
You can get around, traffic's not bad at all.
It's very light.
It's very easy.
And the people are cool.
And the traffic, the clubs is all,
it's just a little, like you said,
all this little radius.
LA, if I want to hit three spots,
I'm driving three, four hours.
Well, you can go to the Improv,
you can go to the Laugh Factory.
If you're in-
It's not that, if you're doing the store, Improv-
If you're in at all three, but when I was, I started in LA. Open mics, you're driving to the improv you know the lab factory if you're not that if you're doing the store in probably if you're
In at all three, but when I was I started in open mics, you're driving all over the place. Yeah
Yeah, if you're doing open mics, you're fucked. There's not a lot of open mics in LA
Well, there's a I mean, there's a good amount but not in comparison to the amount of comics
Yeah, there's a lot of comics and a lot of wannabe comic and this also in LA
You have those people that really want to be actors, and they think that, like...
This is their platform, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Blah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, brother, great to have you on.
Thank you so much.
Tell everybody about your special,
where they can get your second special.
Second special is Gaslit.
It's on YouTube right now.
I'm very proud of it.
I think, hopefully, this is my next evolution as a comic
and just making the things I truly believe funny instead of just doing
Contrair is yeah, dude. I try to do it big. That's
This is traditional Indian dance called but of nothing. It's a South Indian dance and then it's to that Mexican ot
Yeah, so check it out on YouTube.
Please support.
Thank you guys so much.
Thank you, Joe.
And tell everybody, my pleasure, brother.
Tell everybody your social media.
Oh, it's Akash Singh, A-K-A-S-H.
Akash Singh Comedy on TikTok.
Everything else is pretty much Akash Singh.
Oh, and YouTube is Akash Singh Comedy.
All right.
Thank you so much, man.
My pleasure.
Appreciate it.
See you tomorrow night.
All right. I appreciate it. See you tomorrow night. All right. Bye everybody