The Joe Rogan Experience - #2145 - Colin Quinn
Episode Date: May 3, 2024Colin Quinn is a stand-up comic, on-air personality, actor, and author of several books, among them "Overstated: A Coast to Coast Roast of the 50 States." www.colinquinn.com Learn more about your ad... choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Hello Joe, Joe that was fun last night.
Let me just start by saying what a fun time at the club, the green room and everything
else and here's what I was talking to the head of security at the club. Here's I love
About the club. I worked the club. I had a great weekend a couple of months ago is
They keep the audience in line
Nobody's heckling without getting booted
Is that not the most important thing in comedy that nobody talks about? It's very important. It's unbelievable
And unfortunately, there's so many crowd work clips that get put out on Instagram.
Right. People are now thinking that they want to be a part of the show.
And so I see people much more often chiming in and yelling things out and they think they're
going to be a part of things. Yeah and even when you go when you try to be nice on the first line you go that was
okay sir. Then they try again you're like listen you Pete oh my god but that's what
I love about your club. Everybody there just has the energy like we're gonna tell you right
now another word you're out. That's how it should be. Yeah. Because as you know there's
no nobody heckles once. Right. Nobody's ever heckled once. Nobody heckles sober either.
And nobody heckles sober.
And they just like to start trouble.
And the green one was fun.
And even though I didn't go on, I also didn't go on,
because you have to understand the language, where I was like,
you want to go on?
I go, I don't really want to go on.
You go, that's cool.
But really, then you're supposed to say,
the crowd really wants you to go on.
And I'm like, Joe, I don't want to bump anybody. No anybody no you wouldn't be bumping anybody we'll just cut Tony's time down
Joe I don't want to be that guy you like don't be ridiculous oh I have to dance
with you go I didn't know you wanted to dance if you want to dance tonight no I
gotta leave go to Seattle what the fuck I gotta go I would love to yeah you are
you performing tonight no no maybe I can change my flight.
Well, let's see. Maybe I can change it.
Move it around. Let's play your flights out of Austin.
It's a wonderful hub.
It is. It's great.
It keeps booming every time I was here. Last time I was here it was COVID.
Yeah, I don't think it's going to get too much bigger.
I think we've reached peak.
You think so? Yeah, I think it's about it.
You think Shane Gillis was the last citizen they allowed in?
No. There's a few more coming.
Joe DeRosa just got a place here.
He did?
Yeah, and Joey Diaz is getting a place here.
I can't believe the two Joe D's are gonna be here.
Let's go.
That's great.
Joe Diaz and Joe DeRosa is a fierce combination.
I know, but I spoke to Joe DeRosa yesterday.
I deliberately didn't go to the Chicken Place because of Joe DeRosa.
Really?
Why?
Because when he recommended it, it just bugged me his
confidence when he goes, you gotta try this chicken place. And I was like, oh. It's Gus's
fried chicken and it's phenomenal. I just don't like that Joe is positioning himself as the new
gastronomic expert in comedy. Right, because he owns a sub shop. Yeah. By the way, it's a good
sub shop though. I heard it's amazing. It's fucking great. I'm embarrassed that he moved from there.
It's fucking great. He brought some over when they were doing moon tower. He was in town. He brought yeah some subs over there were fucking
Tremendous he's got a great place
Yeah, I always look at the Instagram photos. I'm like oh my god. It looks so good
They said the bread's amazing everything's amazing the foods make he makes a great sub
Yeah, he's obviously it's a labor of love. Yeah, you know he's a professional comic. It's a side thing. Obviously, it's a labor of love.
He's a professional comic.
It's a side thing.
He's like, I like sandwiches.
Let's make a sandwich shop.
He knocked it out of the park.
Everybody who goes are big subs, not expensive.
The name Joey Roses is good.
Yes, it's great.
It's great.
It's anger producing in some ways, but it's great.
In a lot of ways for you.
You have a thing with him, I think.
With Joe?
Yeah.
I try to have a thing with everybody. That's my thing, Joe.
I'd like to have a thing with you. If you had studied just, if you just studied straight karate
and weren't into MMA, maybe I could have a thing with you. But let's face it, you don't play games.
I do play games.
You're not to be taken lightly.
But what about, yeah, the, yeah, before he came down here, I was, because in New York, it's so funny,
in the green room last night, all I want to do is bust balls with everybody.
Yeah.
Like that's what I live for.
It's fun.
You know?
And when you see Shane Gillis in there, Shane Gillis is just that guy.
He's so big, I just want you to lock him in a basement and just feed him like red meat
and make him train MMA for like two years and just eat masculine and red meat.
I just become a stone cold killer.
Wow.
That's my dream.
I've got him working out.
For sure.
Yeah, I know.
He looked sore yesterday.
He said he'd be really sore.
We did two hard days this week.
Look how big he is.
He's a big fuck. Yeah. Big old football player kid. If I was as big as him I wouldn't be a comic. No? I'd be an animal
I'd be working security at the club. Telling people shut up
Tony's trying to do something up there
Comedy's like it's got an anger to it. Don't you think? A little bit. Yeah, it's got to. Well, there's just so much resistance.
It's so difficult to get through.
Yeah.
It's a lot of fucking running up that river.
Yeah.
What about, yeah, even the way, even when we talk to each other, like, I'm at the cellar
the other night, so here's what happened.
So I'm just sitting there, Keith is there, Norton's there.
So I just give the waitress, first of all, I'm like the Sinatra of tipping. I didn't want to bring
this up, but now I'm bringing it up because it's part of the story. So I tip them, but
I always put it there because I'm trying not to flash how much I tip. So I'm trying to
do it like that. So Norton goes, ugh, you're tipping. You're not part of the rat pack.
They just are trashing me for 10 minutes.
Meanwhile, what I should have said was I'm only doing that so you cheap bastards don't look bad.
You know? I understand. Yeah. This is a daily thing. I enjoy tipping myself. Yeah, I could see you're
a high roller too. It's like a little love bomb. Give a little love bomb. Yes, an extra few dollars
and it makes their whole day. Yeah don't even feel it makes people happy
I always try to tell my cheap friends like you got to get over that. Yeah, fuck that 15%
What are you doing? I agree. There's a lot of chisel is yeah, and they chisel and they think of excuses
Yeah, like oh you see that attitude you get
Yeah, I give people big tips and they give me shitty service
That's what to be happy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can give them a little happiness and maybe they'll be nicer to the next people and use
the butterfly effect.
Well, it's certainly not working for the planet right now.
Let's face it.
Eh, we're all right.
I think the problem is we're inundated with bad news constantly.
Yeah.
That's the real problem.
And then, you know, there there's also the problems in cities.
Yeah.
Well, everywhere.
I mean, you know, you just did a special, by the way, about it's releasing tomorrow.
It's about, I did it in front of a psychiatrist's convention.
Did you really?
Yeah.
Wow.
I just did it.
And so I saw it out of psychiatrist's convention and went there and said, hey, wow, I just did it and so I found I saw it out of psychiatrist convention and went there and said hey
Would you guys let me go on and just do my shoot my special in front of you?
And they said sure so I did a whole thing then they analyzed me afterwards, and it was funny
What what room was it at it was a ballroom like one of those convect?
You know it was like a Washington DC some hotel
Off the beaten path where they were just having a convention and they did not plan on you
being there no and so you knew they were gonna be there at that time yeah and you
coordinated with them you set up cameras the whole deal yeah did you inform them
before the psychiatrist beforehand they were gonna be a part of a comedy
special well they were they were welcome to come to the show or not but yeah we
told them before you know if you come you might be on film
But yeah, they didn't have to show up obviously half of them probably showed up, but it was it was a great idea
Yeah, I thought it was a because it's about the world how we're having a psychotic break
We're talking about the planet, so it was kind of fun for me because you know it was
Interesting for that angle you know well Well specials built around it.
It's so much more discussed.
The bad news is so much more discussed.
People's problems are so much more discussed.
Having problems is so much more a thing
that people love to talk about now.
It makes you more interesting.
It gives you something to talk about.
And it's just so pervasive.
And I think social media has just broken people's brains.
Social media started as a fun aunt's kitchen,
where everybody was being positive and saying like,
hey, you know, dance between the raindrops.
And then suddenly somebody was like, shut up, bitch,
you fat bitch, fuck you and the raindrops.
And it just unleashed all of us.
That's what I say.
It unleashed that part of people. And here here's the other thing which I think you'd be
interested in. It's the first time in history you can threaten people and
curse them out and not have to run or have a physical confrontation. So fight
or flight instinct is going to be eliminated from our genetics in two
generations. Yeah not just that but also you don't feel bad
Like if you say something shitty to someone you see the look on their face
Even if you feel like you should have done it when you're alone at night
You might be like I didn't have to do that. Why did I do that?
Oh fucking asshole I am now that I gotta apologize and then you'll see him the next day like I was out of line
I'm sorry. I was dealing a lot of shit you know my mom
my sister my this my that sorry I'm sorry but there's none of that you don't
even know these people too you don't have to see you can't just see the most
evil mean shit vicious shit look through their pictures look at you you fat fuck
and you you're fucking toothless smile and and they used to have they used to
have gossip magazines like if celebrities in the 1950s
That's when they started to realize people love to read bad
Scandalous stuff, but now you get to respond you're like the writer and the reader of the gossip magazine
You know I do enjoy though when people
Don't understand how it works
And they'll post something and just get smashed in the comments
And then they'll start going back and forth of people in the comments like what are
you doing yeah what are you doing oh yeah oh yeah well what about well one of
the biggest problems is people this is one of many of them trying to be funny
that they they've never had to they they've always thought they were kind of
funny and then they go in and try to be funny.
And they get away with a couple because they have two people that go, hey, that was good.
They start to think I'm funny.
And then they get in there and people just start destroying them for trying to be funny
because they're not used to the heckling that we're used to.
We got trained out of all our hack habits.
Comedy trains you.
The audience trains you.
And being around other comics. And being around other comics. Other comic comic what the fuck was that joke regulate? Yeah? Yeah, it does
Yes, yeah, you get feedback. Yeah feedback support and positive and negative
It's a whole other level. Yeah, who gets more feedback than comics
We get like we real live feedback hundreds of people every night you got feedback last night
You can't live in a theoretical world of like I think this is funny. I think this is good. You're getting feedback
Yeah, you know fun though. Don't you still enjoy it's the best. It's the only
honest
Reaction you can get in today. There's nothing virtual about it. The most honest form of entertainment because you write it, you perform it, you produce
it, you edit it. Like I was saying how easy doing sitcoms was when I first started doing
sitcoms. I go, they're great writers. They write you great jokes. You don't even have
to work hard. And I was talking about how bad my axe suffered during those days because when I was first on a sitcom in 94
We were working like 12 hours a day news radio. It was long long long days. So by the end of day
I'm exhausted. So if I did go up it was just the same old material just rehab. I wasn't connected to it anymore
I was like flat. Yeah, you know and
Because when they're writing for you, it's so much easier like the jokes are already worse. All you have to do is like add your little sauce to them
It's great. I'm up a little bit. I
Know I get so jealous of the idea of like the old days comedians. We just have writers
Oh, yeah, like what do you got for me? We got to go out and think of this stuff a few people still do that
Right. Yeah, I'm sure you guys do like I know obviously the guys who host talk shows do yeah
You know, you can't write a new monologue every day to be out of your mind or you'd be I did on tough crowd
You did wrote that every now. I'm not saying most of them didn't bomb but I did write them all myself. No shit
Yeah, did when I went to see you on tough crowd? The best part of it was you warming up the crowd
I was like, why don't they show this? This is funnier than the rest of the whole show.
It was so good.
It's so good.
It was fun.
And that crowd was crazy.
They would come like a lot.
Well, I was living in California at the time.
And I just like, sometimes I forget.
Sometimes you haven't seen a guy in a while,
you're like, god damn, I forgot how funny car is.
You know, you just need to see it.
You need to see them live. You do. You need to go out and see it. Yeah, just get in your head
It's the best thing. I mean I've been doing it for so long, but I still love it. I love it
I love crowds. I love watching it. I love doing it. I love it
It's so much fun, and and what's fun about it, too
Is you can't if you if you don't do it's like working out if you don't do it you just get
flabby and out of shape yeah no that's it no where fans are about about it when i take a time off
i go on vacation for like 10 days i'll have one really good set when i come back because i'm
enthusiastic yeah the second set is like a little fucking shaky i'm like what's going on with this set
that's great yeah that's a horror but that's the best part about it. It's just reality. Everybody that steps away from it too long, they talk in this term where it's like, oh,
you got to do it with reality.
I'm mediocre when I get on stage.
I'm going to be mediocre tonight, even though I don't want to be.
And I'm like, hey, I really figured this out.
And guess what?
I didn't figure it out.
And the crowd just lets you know.
That's the beauty.
How much time did you take off during COVID?
I did a few shows.
I mean, I did some shows that were like on,
I did remote shows, which I loved remote comedy.
Really?
I loved it.
Like Zoom comedy?
Zoom comedy.
You loved it?
I loved it.
You're the only guy I've talked to.
Everybody else said it was hell.
Because I just read, they think I'm looking at them.
I'm reading my act.
So any new material was
memorized immediately every new joke she had a teleprompter what's that maybe
you get a teleprompter I've tried teleprompters yeah yeah I wish I could
bring them up all the time yeah you tried on stage I love teleprompters no
shit yeah no it's a good way to make sure you remember your shit yes teleompter is the greatest because the worst feeling is when you get back to the green room. You're like fuck that
Yeah, or even the intro line so you like of course it bombed I didn't even explain what I was gonna talk about
Yeah, I love it. Yeah teleprompter is great
I'm but I've used teleprompters on shows when I did like one made shows in New York and
And you can't memorize it the teleprompter you get lazy mentally lazy. You can't then you go on the road you like
Say it every night you memorize it you can't it's an interesting psychological thing
I know some guys who lay out sheets of paper on the floor
Yeah stage with like bullet points. I've tried that. Yeah
Yeah, it doesn't really work that well. It's weird. The lights are weird. Yeah, but you can't even see them
Mmm. Do you go on stage with glasses on no, this is that would help. This is one of the first times
I've been glasses in public. So really I hope the crowd well
I wanted people to take me seriously doing the interview and it's kind of a vibe it's a vibe it's hot on chicks
I agree a girl doesn't see that good for whatever reason for whatever reason
they seem smarter hey whatever reason yeah there's something intense that only
became in the 70s that became like a phase suddenly girls have glasses girls
of glasses are hotter
Yeah, they had the whole with the whole new glasses
I'll tell you certain people just look great in sunglasses the first person I noticed as a kid
You're one of your idols Bruce Lee. I go that guy looks badass in sunglasses
Oh, yeah, and he had like they weren't completely dark. They were like mix. I was like, yeah, that looks cool
Yeah, he was a cool motherfucker. He was a cool motherfucker.
Yeah, that dude changed the world.
Unbelievable.
Nobody thought about doing karate before Bruce Lee.
Nobody cared.
Well, even when he was on the Green Hornet,
I'm old enough, I was there for the Green Hornet days,
and you're like, yeah, that's kinda cool,
but you didn't think about it.
But the minute those movies came out,
we all saw them when they first came out.
I saw Chinese Connection, it was called Fist of Fury.
They changed the titles now, but it was Chinese Connection.
It was the first one, then Fist of Fury,
and then Enter the Dragon.
Yeah.
Those are the three big ones.
And it was the first time we ever saw somebody with abs.
Yes.
They're like, whoa.
Yes!
How cool does that look?
Yes.
How cool does it look to be ripped?
Yeah.
Look at that.
Look at that, come on.
I mean, I hate to say it, but my profile pic when I was 19. I basically have the same physique
I don't care what anyone says. It kind of looks like a twink today though. Yeah, well, cuz nobody lifted weights in those days, you know
But he was he was the king look at the abs on that motherfucker Jesus Christ today he'd be accused of having fake abs. Yeah
Yeah, he's a badass.
Bruce Lee gold metal sunglasses. Oh, you can buy them.
Yeah, but I don't think those are the ones I'm thinking about. No, that one that
photo looks pretty fucking cool. No, it wasn't these. It was some of the look
where he just was casually wearing some of the
What cool dude.
Yeah, he was a badass. He was a real super see just was a star.
Yeah, he was a badass. He was a real super, he just was a star. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah, transcended. Yeah.
And it also was happening during that weird time,
the weird time in life in the 70s. After Vietnam was really
winding down, almost done. Now we're back to 1968.
Yeah, we're right there right now. We're in 1968 right now. We're waiting for Kent State to jump off. You've seen these fucking protests that are
happening in colleges? Yeah. First of all these kids are all wearing masks
They're outside they're protesting and they're all wearing masks. I say that it's like the Democrats MAGA hat
That's what the mask is
Isn't it nice? You let everybody know you're letting everybody know that you're part of the clan that you're on the good side
Yeah, I'm masking and masking for your safety You're letting everybody know. You're letting everybody know that you're part of the clan, that you're on the good side. Yeah.
I'm asking for your safety.
Yeah.
They're just bizarre human beings coming out of colleges today.
Well, I-
Fully brainwashed.
Yeah.
Well, I say it this way. It's...
20... Let's say 20% of them are just...
20% of them are...
are kids that were raised to hate the West. Everything in
the West is bad. They're brainwashed, which is really the whole curriculum is 20% of that.
Then I'd say 20% are kids that are, they're the kids that feel like they want to be like what I was in college.
Like when I was in college, remember this is happening during finals week. So 20% of
finals protesters, where somebody came up to me when I was in college and said, listen,
next week is finals. You know you're going to fail. How about this? We're gonna give you some money from
this George Soros funder is a Venmo thing. Just we're gonna give you money. You stand outside and
you block the other. Not only do you not have to take your finals, you're gonna block the kids that
are gonna make you look bad and pass their finals. You're gonna block them from coming to class. I
would have said, give me the scarf, I'll put it on right now.
Then you got to 20% kids are going to be, they're like the ones that are peer pressured
by their roommates.
Because if you're roommates with people in college, they know your schedule.
So they go, hey, we're going to go protest genocide.
You can't say, I'm going to, I was going to go to the bar.
So half these kids are like, God damn it, now I got to go out to the protest or I have these kids like god damn it now I gotta go out to the protestor
I look bad in front of all my roommates
Have you ever seen when they get interviewed the Constantine kissin from trigonometry?
He went to the protests and he was just asking them like what the river to the sea
What does that mean like asking questions? Yeah, what do you think should happen?
Like what is what do you think should happen? Like what is, what do you think the
history of Palestine is like? Yeah, and now they're literally, they're literally praying,
they're praying to Mecca now. Did you see all the footage of them? Oh, wonderful. They're
bowing. It's like I am objectively like gonna put a fatwa on my mother. I just want to come
out publicly and say China, Russia, you guys won. You won. You got our kids.
You got the kids.
You got a lot of them.
You got more of them than you didn't get.
No, they don't want them.
Listen, China, they're teaching kids computer engineering.
Law schools are teaching state-sanctioned violence
in Shakespeare sonnets.
Guys with fake eyelashes reading to toddlers.
Yeah, that's what it is that's what
tiktok is our tiktok is a disaster yeah yeah they're smart i mean they got us they got us they won
they won the ideological battle they've destroyed our universities yeah they've destroyed our faith
they didn't we did yeah but they did they infiltrated the universities it happened way before
that in my opinion when did they just went like this all they had to do was go like this
way before that in my opinion when did they just want like that all they do is go like this you ever see Yuri Besman off talk about it he's a no actor from
the KGB he talked about it in a famous interview from 1984 we talked about it
way too much so I'm sorry if you're hearing this again folks but he basically
laid out exactly what was gonna happen to America in 1964 and he was saying for
yep excuse me 1984 he was saying that Marxism and
Leninist ideas have been they've infiltrated all the universities with these ideas They're teaching the children's and you have like two generations from now. You're gonna be fucked well
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It started long before any of this China. He
He said Russia did it so Russia was doing it so they're actively subverting our
education system, but I feel like the idea of this kind of thing
started long before, you know, before,
I mean, it's been around a long time
because people are like, hey, it sounds fair.
Like equality sounds fair.
Right.
So then they slowly started bringing it in
and people, the general narrative is if you say,
if I say to you right now, I'm gonna say it anywhere,
I think America's a great country.
People go, oh my God, do you hear this psychopath?
What an idiot. You're a Nazi.
He's the dumbest person I've ever met.
So I'm saying if you start from the premise
that America is evil, which is basically the premise today,
and everything we do is based on oppression and violence,
then anybody that goes against that, there's something evil about them.
Yes.
So, I don't think that was Russia and China doing that.
I think that was us doing it.
I think Russia and China influenced it, particularly Russia.
I think they just agreed, well, useful idiots and all that stuff they're talking about yeah but I think they didn't I didn't think they
had far to go I don't think you could do it unless people wanted to go along with
that well it's also a situation where your universities are almost entirely
dedicated towards one ideology that's right you don't have any look there's
clearly over history regardless of what you think about right-wing people,
clearly over history there have been brilliant conservative people and to not address that
and to not have those people talk and to only allow liberal people to talk or progressive
people to talk, you're going to get a distorted worldview and that's what these kids are
getting.
That's well, I mean even just the fact that Russia and China didn't force them to stop
people from speaking at these places, you know what I mean?
Like that's what's been going on for whatever amount of years.
And you're like me, you're not some right-wing guy or you know what I mean?
But you've been pushed into a category that people are saying you're this kind of guy
because they're so far to the left and so stringent ideologically that if you fluctuate
you're out of the loop and that's a cult.
It is a cult.
But isn't it, I mean it's one of the beauties, one of the beautiful things about America
is the amount of freedom we have of expression.
And when you have that and you have 330 million people, you're going to have a certain percentage
of people that are just off the rails, insane.
And if those people are rabid about it
and excited about it, a lot of people find that attractive.
Just like a lot of people find Islam attractive.
And they don't just find it attractive
because of the discipline and the tenets
and all the different things that seem to resonate
with some people, they find it attractive
because those people are all in.
And you wanna be in a group that's all in.
Like if I leave, they'll kill me. They'll kill you if you leave but you try to join you can join
They'll take you in as a brother. Oh, I want to join and then people just it becomes attractive to them because
Moderates are considered pussy. I took about this all the time
Moderates are considered all you can see is a bland guy in dockers
With his goddamn, you know with his dad, and nobody's interested in moderates.
Fence sitters.
Fence sitters.
I say even in Superman, you've got Lois Lane.
She sees Clark Kent, nice guy, he's like, hey, Lois, I want to have dinner.
She's like, just dinner, Clark.
No, all right, I'm sorry.
And then Superman, who shows up two hours a week, who's an extremist, just breaks shit,
and she's like
So I'm saying we our whole culture is built around extremists, right?
Like though the hero in the movie walks away after blowing up a hydroelectric dirt day
He's never the guy that troubleshoots the hydroelectric game
That should be the hero in every movie imagine being Clark Kent and you got a deal
With this lady just constantly talking up Superman and talking down to you. Yeah. And you're like, bitch,
you don't know shit. Yes. And you just got to sit there and take it because you just
can't spill the beans. You want to say, hey, fucking dummy, you just take the glass off.
Are you stupid? Yeah. Same guy, but just wearing glasses. I tricked you with glasses. I catfished you
You want notice that I felt like a fucking linebacker you didn't notice that I look like a giant super person
Yeah, I just have glasses on so now I'm a loser well because she never slept with them
That's why she didn't notice right because she was like Clark
Layoff you think Clark would like show off like every now and then like pick something up you shouldn't be able to pick up
Yeah, but you know clocks and in cell. Yeah
And angry in so a handsome angry football quarterback looking insult. Yeah. Yeah, he's an insult
Isn't it funny like that was the only disguise he had was glasses
It's the dumbest fucking disguise in all of comic books at least Batman like maybe you had a weird face
I'll give you had like a cleft pal. You're like hey, buddy. I
Fucking I know who you are, but no you know you just just see the little
Face part and the rest of the face is covered like okay hides his voice. I'm Batman. Okay, okay, maybe
It's fucking stupid it is stupid, but the um, but speaking of Bruce Lee
The Green Hornet had a mask, but then Kato was Bruce Lee. Mm-hmm. We didn't realize by the way
Here's a stupid sitcom. I'm watching as a little kid. We don't realize there's a lifetime legend playing the sidekick
Yeah, how many times does that happen never in life and but even then but he wore this little show for his outfit
If I remember correctly, yep, personally were like it. It was like this sidekick
Yeah, but he was but even then you could see a stock like even as the sidekick the two scenes
You're like this guy's a badass. Yeah, I was like five years old six years old. I'm like, yes
You know, he was supposed to be in that TV show Kung Fu
Really? Yeah, it's supposed to be about him.
It wasn't supposed to be David Carradine.
And why did he say no?
They didn't want to have a Chinese guy on TV.
That's insane.
And they picked David Carradine.
Yeah, but it worked.
The crazy thing with David Carradine is it worked.
It worked.
That show worked.
I loved that show.
I used to love that show.
Yeah, it was a great show.
Because every episode, every episode there was, although let's face it, when you really
look at it, it was kind of a woke show.
A little bit.
Every week it was intolerance and then David Caron would come and save the day.
You know what I mean?
Kick some ass.
He always had to use violence though.
But he wasn't that great of a martial arts guy.
Oh, he was terrible.
It was nonsense.
It was totally unbelievable.
But the way he was doing it was like, if you't know any better like oh, yeah, he's got magic
But if Bruce Lee had done that he would have broke
Not the internet, but he would have broke TV a white open
Oh, yeah
if you have been the best show of all wheel kicking people and
Jumping side kicking people in the face. He's like whoa, it would change everything, but the movies changed everything
I mean he broke through just because he was undeniable
Oh, yeah, we that was supposed to be him. They all been I'll take a look karate studios. Jerome Mackie
These are all the karate. These were big karate guys back when I was a kid like karate teachers all he opened
Thousands of karate studios around the country Bruce Lee alone
Absolutely. Yeah, it became a thing. Bruce Lee
and then Chuck Norris was how I got into martial arts. Yeah Chuck Norris fighting him. Jean-Claude
Van Damme watching those movies. How about this name? Bill Wallace, you ever hear of him? Yeah,
Superfoot. Yeah he was a great kickboxer. And it was a guy named Joe Lewis. Yeah Joe Lewis,
heavyweight champion. Not in boxing but in kickboxing. That's right. Yeah, white guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There was a bunch of great fighters.
And Jim Kelly was a great fighter.
He was in the Bruce Lee movies too.
Did you ever do karate, or did you just follow it?
I mean, I did a couple of classes, but I was a, you know.
It's crazy that you know about all those guys, like Joe Louis.
How about Benny Archides?
You know about him?
My favorite.
Benny the Jet, of course.
Yeah.
Well, because when I always tell this, but when I was a kid, the trains were so dangerous
in New York.
Like, I mean, it was, see, this is nothing now compared to when I was growing up.
But what I would do is, instead of taking karate, I used to buy karate magazine, and
I'd stand on the train with my legs splayed like this, and stand and read my karate magazine. Good move.
Who's going to read a karate magazine unless it's a karate?
Then I ran into, do you know Owen Smith is a comedian?
Yes.
From Baltimore.
I somehow mentioned that story one night to him and he goes, he goes, I took you one better.
He goes, I bought a karate trophy and I used to walk around the streets holding my karate
trophy.
That's hilarious. So while you were studying martial arts, seriously, just remember there's a
whole bunch of lazy pricks that bought magazines and trophies just so we were like stolen valor.
People find a workaround. There's a lot of dudes walked around with kung fu outfits. Yeah. Yes
with the slippers
black kung fu outfit color
Absolutely. Yeah to this day they still do and to this day I'm so like, oh, I don't fucking that guy
Yeah, I used to go watch them practice in the park and they were faking martial arts. It was made-up stuff
They're doing made-up thing
Do you mean there's the moves are nonsense was made up and you knew they were paid a hundred percent
Yeah, hundred percent. They were doing stuff that just there's no
history of this
Like you like I don't study kung fu, but I understand it. I know it. I know what it looks like
I've watched it thousands of videos on it. I've seen classes
I know I know what kung fu is right. You're not doing kung fu
You're fucking you're doing some shit
You think looks like kung fu and you're telling people that you're a master and you're practicing in the park
You got a bunch of other dumb people that have fallen you and there's a lot of that out there
There was a lot before the UFC came around. There was a lot of fake martial arts guys who pretended
They had like some touch of death. Yes yes and their students were like hypnotized they were
like in a cult yeah touch their students or students will have followed the ground
they're still out there there's a there's a absolutely there's a Instagram
page mcdojo life mcdojo life just highlights all these fake martial
artists because mcdojo was like those strip mall yes which some of them are
really good.
But, you know, just location.
Yeah, it depends on the teacher.
Yeah, but this idea of like a death touch
that people had like some secret powers.
It's the dream, yeah.
Yeah.
I told you I took six judo lessons when I was a little kid.
I should say before the martial arts craze,
I took, and I really wish I would have stuck with judo,
but in those days,
like there was no like panic.
So you're walking in a class with the worst headache
of all time.
Oh, you're getting brain damage.
Yeah, you're getting brain damage.
You're getting brain damage in regular judo, 100%.
100%.
Judo's bad.
You get brain damage, it's amazing.
It's amazing martial art.
But you get brain damage from Rod Nijetski.
You do?
Yeah, my friend Mark Gordon,
he specializes in traumatic brain injuries
He's a doctor and he works with a lot of veterans football players fighters and stuff
He's like everything that hits your head is bad like soccer guys get CTE chronic traumatic encephalopathy
The things that boxers get and football players get an MMA fighters get the soccer players get it from hitting it with their head
But how do you get it from jet ski the bouncing just the bouncing
then how come they don't go on those gymnastic whatever that's cool they
said it's help trampolines yeah trampoline yeah I don't think I'm like
jolting because that's kind of like catching you and lifting you up and
catching you and lifting you up that's a different thing than boom boom boom it's the heavy-duty shaking head banging like
Angus from ACDC gotta have brain damage yes there's no way there's no way he
doesn't that dude has to be gone I mean but who the hell goes on a jet ski more
than like once a year let's think about that um some jet ski people that really
love them just fun yeah I'm a jet ski people, I really love them.
Jet skis are fun.
Yeah, I have a jet ski.
I love it.
I tried it.
It's fun.
But if you bounce around on waves, you're getting brain damage.
That's how delicate the brain is.
The brain is not meant to be jostled around.
And guys get concussions from getting hit in the chest.
If you get hit in the chest, your head snaps back and you get a concussion.
It happens all the time.
You don't have to get hit in the head to get a concussion
Well, yeah, yeah, but that's what that's why I it's a good thing
I stopped judo cuz every day and have a horrible headache. I was a little kid you know, also these guys crash
Oh my god. Well, that's different. That's ski jumping. I know but this is the article on skiing was bringing up
Oh my god, that's insane. that dude hit hard how hard they hit
Oh must be nuts. They're going third. It's like this is a water skiing tournament. That's what that is
That's what that was. Yeah, it's like an article about water skiers getting CTE. Oh, yeah have to no doubt no doubt
They have it no doubt. I bet dolphins have CTE
I bet they don't I bet they glide right into that water. Everybody always says how smart they are.
I'm like, yeah, they seem really intelligent sometimes.
You're dismissing the intelligence of dolphins?
Yeah, when anybody bounces a beach ball on their nose,
and that's there, they're the valedictorian
of the animal kingdom.
That's enough for me.
I think you have to do that if you're trapped
in that swimming pool if you want to get fed.
I think you'd put that beach ball in your nose, too.
That's the problem.
The problem is we're so evil, we'll take intelligent things and lock them in a swimming pool if
we can't understand their language.
Like what?
What?
I don't know what you're saying.
Do you want a fish or not?
Here's the ball motherfucker.
That's what it is.
Out in the wild though they're awesome.
They play with you.
They come hang out.
They go by your boat.
They jump and they literally want you to see them. They play with people
You can swim with them. They'll save you from sharks. Oh
Don't fight the sharks off. Yeah, they save people from sharks pretty cool all the time. They have a cerebral cortex
It's 40% larger than a human beings. What yeah 40%
They have dialects of different dialects like you talk with you from New York.
Yeah.
You know, I have like a little bit of Boston, a little bit of California, like all fucked
up.
Right, right.
If you, they can tell from dolphins listening to their vocal patterns where they're from.
Now wait a minute.
But they can't decipher it yet, but they're hoping they can do that through AI.
First of all, if you don't have a routine
About dolphins accents you're crazy
I think I'll steal it if you don't know I had a bit about dolphins about take it true story
It's a true story. I got on very high edibles with my daughter and we went fishing and
these dolphins came by the boats and they were jumping up in the air and then I
by the boats and they were jumping up in the air and then I had this crazy thought that what if the concept of me, like we think when you think of
yourself as, you know, you refer to yourself me, you're thinking of yourself
living in this world with these genes and this city and this tree but the
thought of me like what if me to me is the same as me to a dolphin and And then I thought like what if that's the same with all human beings everybody's just experiencing life through different
biological circumstances
Different life experiences, but what if me is the same in every single human being just diff dealing with different problems
No, what does that mean?
I don't understand what you're saying what I'm saying is that when you think of yourself, when you think Colin Quinn, like when you think like,
Oh, I'm looking at the world. This is me. That energy of what me is, this is how high I was.
I was on like 200 milligrams of pot edible on a boat in the middle of the ocean in Hawaii. Just amazing experience.
But I was thinking the, like when the dolphins would jump up, they would look at you.
They look you in the eye and you see that they're intelligent right and I was thinking like what if I?
Lived his life. I would be him and what if I lived my life
He would be me right and what I think of is me is just me
stumbling into a bunch of experiences with very particular genetics a very
Particular like life lessons that I'm carrying around, and I think that's me.
But if the energy of me, the very core of it,
is exactly the same in everybody.
We're just experiencing life through different circumstances,
but it's the same thing.
That's God.
Yeah.
What about the, you know, I was thinking about,
when I was thinking about the whole martial arts thing, too,
was when you think about dolphins fighting sharks
Or saving people from sharks. That's almost a martial art, too. Oh, yeah
Well, you ever see what killer whales do to sharks now. Oh, there's this video of this mother killer whale. Oh, yeah
They fuck everybody up. There's this video of this by the way
They save people too and the only time they've ever killed people is in swimming pools
They save people all the time killer whales save people that fall in the water.
They eat everything. They kill dolphins. They kill whales. They kill everybody, but they
don't kill people. We kill them, but they don't kill us. The only time they've ever
killed people on record. I mean, there's probably been a few circumstances where people were
cunts and killer whales killed somebody. Yeah, some asshole tried to harpoon their sister
You know I'm sure that happened
But the point is that like killer whales don't actively target people when it'd be really fucking easy to do
So check this this killer whale fucks this shark up, so she's out there with her look at this boom wow
She's out there with her cubs, and she just puts the fucking clamp down on this great white
It's pretty wild but just it also makes you realize how big killer sharks are or killer whales. Well, yeah
Yeah, I
Mean, I just saw something the other day of a killer whale around a boat some little boat and it was just
You can tell the guys like oh god, it's over for me, and then it well didn't bother him like you said
Yes, they generally checked him out don't fuck with you. Yeah, and I think you can kind of talk to them
I think if you I think they understand if you're like hey
You're cool. Yeah, like you know if you're polishing up a big metal spear with a rope on the end of it
Then they might get a little angry angry they'll probably fuck you up I bet that if I bet if there have been
people dying because this is the guy look at that little boat oh you got
bumped oh yes let's get out of here
By the way, but that was a gentle bump. That was nothing. No, this was something else. But how about that?
Is that not the battle cry of today you guys getting this? Yes
That's the most important thing anyone could say the gram. We got to get it on the ground
You guys getting this do you even have Instagram? Yeah, you do sure do you make reels?
Do you ever make not positive? Hey guys, you can really do it push through it
Well, I kind of ironically as you know, I've been doing that for years
I'm kind of a soccer mouth
Social media just to infuriate people. That's my whole game
But I do uh, you know, I've been doing this series called Block by Block on YouTube, which is
with this guy, Homeless Pimp, you know, him, Mike Laban.
But we do-
I didn't know you were doing this.
Yeah, I know.
I have a bunch of episodes where I interview.
It's my little, you know, like the thing I care the most about doing, which is I interview
people from different neighborhoods in New York that I know over the years,
and then just get them to tell stories about their neighborhood.
So I was talking to my friend from Hell's Kitchen,
Mike Spillane.
So this is it here?
I didn't even know this was out there.
Yeah, yeah.
And this is my Steve Kelly.
One problem with really great comics,
and I include you in there,
is that you guys are terrible at promoting things.
Yeah.
I know.
You know what I'm saying?
But it's also why the stuff you put out is so great, because you're only thinking about the stuff. Yeah. I know. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
But it's also why the stuff you put out is so great because you're only thinking about
the stuff.
You're not thinking about promoting the stuff, which is a totally different animal.
And we wouldn't know where, we would only come here.
Where else would we go?
We don't know.
Well, doing it yourself, like doing your own promotion or like letting people, you know,
getting...
But I, so I interviewed this one guy, Mike Spillane from Hell's Kitchen and their
famous family over there.
He's telling all the stories of the old.
But one of the stories which you will like was him and my friend Robert who died and
his cousin, they were in a bar, it's like 1980s and midtown.
So Hell's Kitchen is connected to the theater and all the Madison Square Garden.
So in a bar, some guy starts with Mike Spillane,
he hits him, the guy's friend grabs him around his neck,
it's Andre the Giant.
Oh my God.
They're in a fight with Andre the Giant.
Oh my God.
And he picks him up and flings him
and it's like a whole famous story of them fighting
and getting their ass kicked by Andre the Giant.
Oh my God.
And then the cops come and grab him outside
and arrest him and the cop walks in,
finds out what happened, sees Andre,
and just walks out and laughs and goes,
let him go, don't worry about it.
So like, just finding different stories
of different neighborhoods.
That's my little thing for, you know,
like what I like doing.
How's about your day before Instagram
where people weren't snitches?
Exactly right.
So that's all, I'm just talking to these people
and finding out all the great stories from them.
That happened today, Andre would be all over the news the news people be angry at him. Oh my god
Everybody have an opinion on oh, yeah when this guy was telling the story
I go so people must have been buying you drinks for months
He goes at Hell's Kitchen that time two weeks, and then there was some new story happening
Because that wasn't even the story of the month. What a great name for a neighborhood Hell's Kitchen. Yeah, what a great name
Oh, yeah, I mean you kind of have to act crazy if you're there.
And they did. Yeah they... If you're gonna move to Hell's Kitchen, that's a very specific
mindset. Well now of course it's different but it was the most... just imagine a neighborhood
in the middle of Times Square when Times Square was taxi driver. So they had to deal with
all of that. The theaters, so all the stagehands were there.
All the teamsters were there.
There was a combination of everything,
all the music studio, Lincoln Center on one side,
all these, and in the middle is all these crazy Irish guys
and Puerto Ricans.
Yeah, just so, and so much music
and so much stuff came out of that area.
It's crazy. Really is, when you really think about it.
It's a really wild, wild, the center of the universe they used to call it.
And for how long, like 20 years?
Like 50, 60.
50, 60?
Yeah.
Really?
It was that hot for that many years?
Well, hot in what way?
I mean, it's high square.
Hot in like the interesting aspect of it.
The interesting aspect I bet was 40 40 50 years. I would say from
1950 to
2000 2000 what killed it Giuliani? No, it just became well it became Times Square
It's not time square Times Square became judge Giuliani. Yeah gentrified it and and people started to corporatize the bill safe
Yeah, it's like you became Applebee's. But it did.
It's disappointing, but at the same time,
it was Sodom and Gomorrah.
It was very bad.
It was very bad when I first went there.
When I was living in Boston,
I came to New York for a karate tournament, ironically,
in like 82, 83, I think.
So I was in high school, so probably 83.
And I was like, this is nuts.
Like this place is fucking nuts
It was nuts. It was nuts
It's like all peep shows and pimps and hookers
Yes, and just it looked black and white like like this is like it was like in color
Like everything looked black and white it looked dirty and seedy and there was just junkies on the street
Yeah, and people with like long coats
and people yelling at people and you're like,
yo, this place is nuts.
Times Square was a place that everybody avoided.
Somehow or another Times Square became a tourist trap.
Well, because of Giuliani.
Giuliani cleaned up the peep show.
There was a law, I guess, where you couldn't have,
you had to have like 30% legitimate in your peep show.
There was some law that happened where they covered all the peep shows. 30% legitimate in your peep show. There was some law that happened where they got rid of all the peep shows.
30% legitimate?
What does that mean?
30% like a regular store.
You couldn't just have all the porn.
Some obscure law.
I don't know what it was.
It's like Joey DeRosa sandwiches.
But that's basically what they did do.
They had to have a legitimate thing and then the porn in the back or something.
Oh, God.
And that was in the mid-90s and then it got cleaned.
Well they used to have the triple X movie theaters
That's right
Where you know you want to talk about the lowest class of human being that you could possibly encounter in public
Yeah, guys going to jerk off in a room with other guys jerking off
Watching a movie. Yeah
Of course just the most degenerate humans available, and it was in Times Square too.
Oh, it was all over the place.
No, no, the whole country had those.
Oh yeah.
Every city had, Times Square just had 50 of them.
Well the craziest story is, the craziest story is Deep Throat.
Because Deep Throat, they were trying to turn it into, so the country was so naive
back then.
Yep.
And porn, you didn't have VCRs, so you didn't, you did, the idea of a porn addiction seemed
ridiculous to people.
So what they did with Deep Throat is they made a cinematic movie that was a porn film,
and all these stars went to go see it, like Johnny Carson was there, in line, they were
interviewing them, where they're going to see a porn film.
Yeah.
Yeah. And that's only like 1970 something 72 or something like that and
Couples would go all over the country and go to these sleazy theaters and watch Deep Throat
Wild is that weren't even sleazy theaters. These are regular to write show Deep Throat
Yeah, is that crazy?
People are so it's that's like that's so
interesting like you think about how much porn like right now porn is what
percentage of the internet Jamie is it 30 something percent? It's like 30
something percent of all internet traffic all of it all of the world is
porn. That's crazy. It didn't even exist before Deep Throat. No. But you had stag
films that you would hear about. Yeah my brother-in-law. He's getting married
Yeah, what does the stag party and they showed a movie? Yeah like?
Grainy movie or this like sad heroin addict fucking these guys. That's right. Yeah, whoa
There was gross. Yeah, I never thought that would be on your phone the mafia. Yeah, I know
Exactly, but but it's so funny because I remember deep throat was the big breakthrough Yeah, the mafia. Who would have ever thought that would be on your phone? The mafia. Yeah, I know. Exactly.
But it's so funny because I remember Deep Throat was the big breakthrough.
First it was the devil and Miss Jones.
I was like 11 or 12.
And I remember we'd laugh about it.
We didn't know what we were laughing at.
And then next year, you know, we're like 19, 18, 19.
We're going up Times Square Point.
And you know, we were right there.
You just take the train, you're right there.
But it was so psychotic that,
and I actually knew, I knew a girl that ended up going into
like working those Times Square boots,
and I'm sure a lot of people did,
but it was really crazy to me that she was doing that.
You know?
Wow, that is crazy.
That's a commitment.
Yeah.
I mean, those boots and guys.
Get out of that lifestyle, oof.
There's a judge, a judge in New York made it a three million dollar fine for showing deep throat and wow
Just it's never been overturned apparently Wow whenever this article is written. Well, this is 93, but Wow
Movies and television have completely changed our outlook on the human form. So he was 71
at the time when he was talking about this and
So this is on the eve of his retirement in 91 so he's probably in his 50s when that happened
So he'd grown his whole life been a grown adult and never had any interaction with porn
And then he sees people going to see it in a theater. He's probably like what the fuck is going on
Yeah, this is crazy like you guys are watching people suck dicks with your friends yeah like
this is weird yeah yeah it was totally legitimate for a couple of years I don't
know when it turned but I remember when I went to when I went to college they
showed deep throat or one of these Debbie Dubs Dallas one of these porn movies in
like the Student Union what and guys and girls all went to see it.
No way.
Yeah, it was totally, you know what I mean?
And there were a couple of-
Isn't that crazy?
And there were a couple of girls that were like, this is anti-women.
And we're like, oh, relax, why are you making a big deal like we are?
We're like, oh, we're crazy.
Isn't that crazy?
It's crazy.
And people would just go, they like, they showed it like a whole week.
I'll tell you another one.
What? A week? Yeah, like every night because so many people want to go see. I'll tell you another one. What? A week?
Yeah, like every night because so many people want to go see it.
I'll tell you another one.
One of the guest speakers.
Talking about college gigs, Harry Reams was one of the guest speakers.
The porn star.
The porn star.
Famous like 1980s porn star.
70s, yeah.
70s?
He had a big mustache, 70s mustache.
Did he grow up to be like a giant
real estate guy maybe but in real estate I'd like to talk to him someday because
this girl I knew I still remember name but I'll leave it out and she drove him
she goes yeah I drove him back to the train station and I was like you don't
need to drive him to the train station you can walk there she drove and I want
to know what happened I want the full story after she's not gonna give it to you she lied
to me she goes nothing happened she got turned on seeing that guy's dick she
got turned on by and as I'd like to speak also it didn't it wasn't like
forbidden back then this is so hard for people to imagine because like today if
you're watching porn on your phone and someone catches you you have to look at
deep shame yes oh you call me watching porn on your phone and someone catches you, you have a deep shame.
Yes.
Oh, you call me watching porn.
Right.
Porn is a thing that people are ashamed that they consume.
But back then, that was not the case.
It was innocent in the weirdest sense.
Yes, it was.
Where people just didn't get it.
They didn't get it.
No.
Like when I was a kid, VCRs were invented.
And one of the first things when they invented VCRs
is they start making dirty movies
and putting them on VCRs.
And the porn industry just explodes.
It's all from people watching at home.
And you'd have to go through these fucking saloon doors,
remember, or you'd push the beads aside.
There was always something you had to do.
You couldn't just go to the porn section.
You had to let everybody know, hey, you fucking pervert,
make some noise, rattle those beads that's right and then you walk in
there and no one was looking at anybody everybody's like that's right it was
embarrassed that they're in there with other people maybe your neighbors that's
right see Bob's over there looking at the fucking hard yeah yeah right that's
what it was people are like I'll be the porn, but that section is for perverts.
That was the thing.
Yeah, and it became a thing where
people weren't embarrassed by it.
It was weird.
And then slowly over time, it became embarrassing.
I think when it became an addiction thing,
I think clearly when the internet came around
and people had instantaneous access to it.
Well, it's funny because as much as sex became more like, I remember in comedy, we all had bits on
jerking off to porn in the 80s.
Right.
We all had bits about it.
Yeah.
Which is hard to imagine.
Everyone's like, ha ha ha, nobody gave a damn.
I mean, is that weird?
We all just talked about, hey, Jericho, you ever see porn?
Because it was new, like you you said and then suddenly people stopped
Talking about that because it was shameful. I don't know what they I guess it was when it was the addiction
Yeah, when you're when you're ashamed of something you shouldn't be doing that something almost always right
You have to lie about the thing you're right
You know like I had a friend and he was always trying to lose weight and one time we said, hey, meet us at this bar.
It's Ralphie May, let's say it.
Yeah.
Because he's done with us anymore.
I love Ralphie.
Great guy.
He was awesome.
Great, great guy.
And Ralphie was like, it was like an hour and a half later,
like where the fuck is Ralphie?
Like he hasn't, when's he coming here?
And then finally he pulls up
and the back of his car was just filled
with fast food stuff
Yeah, and he had like some story about why I couldn't make it he went to a drive-thru
He had to he went through a drive-thru and he bought bags of food
And he just stuffed himself yeah, and he probably felt shitty about it and didn't want to talk about it sure that's addiction
That's addiction absolutely if you're watching porn on your phone all the time,
you're like, do you watch porn on your phone? Like, no, I don't watch that. Right. It's because you're addicted. Right. You're ashamed. Sure.
You're ashamed. But like you said, 30% is crazy. Crazy. Is it, is that what the number is?
Do we find out what the amount of traffic?
30%. I'm looking to like the golden age of porn ended in 84, it says. The golden age.
That's what this is. And I'll tell you why AIDS.
Well, this VCR is also so it's stopping
You didn't have to go to the movie theater to see it. You could watch that home
Well, that was a great that was it that oh 84 is in the VCR came out Wow around then that's yeah
So that makes sense because that was I was in high school, but you meant there was a great scene in Boogie Nights
when Burt Reynolds is so
Disgusted that he has to do like amateur
porn remember like he used to be a filmmaker. Oh right. And then suddenly
they're in the limo and he's going okay do that and then they maybe he was like
so horrified by it all. I forgot I forgot that movie that was a great movie. Great
movie and they said Burt Reynolds you know the director and all these people
said Burt Reynolds was so horrible he was director and all these people said Burt Reynolds
was so horrible.
He was so brilliant in it.
He didn't want to be in it from day one.
He hated everything about it.
Really?
And to his dying day, he hated it.
He wanted one.
He wanted, he fired his agent.
He hated it.
And he was so brilliant in it.
Well, Burt Reynolds, I'm a huge Burt Reynolds fan.
No, the greatest.
I love that guy.
He was so fun. He made me believe that a handsome man could be funny.
Yeah.
I never thought handsome people were funny.
The handsome guy was never cool.
The handsome guy was cool but silent,
like maybe wins a street fight.
Burt Reynolds is always smiling.
It's like, I want to hang out with that guy.
He was a party.
He'd go on The Tonight Show with that big laugh.
Yeah.
Maybe had that giant laugh. He was the first guy that I ever really saw that was a party. He'd go on the show with that big laugh. Yeah, that giant laugh
He was the first guy that I ever really saw that was like a really handsome man
That was hilarious and he was best friends with deloitte. Yes, and they'd be on incredible
Yeah, well, how about when he did Jackie Gleason Jackie Gleason in him with Smokey and the Bandit? What a combination?
Jackie Gleason and Burt Reynolds wait the Jackie Gleason in that movie
And I'll tell you who else because I remember when I saw catty Shaq for first time and I was like a young kid
And I'm like oh catty Shaq my heroes are in it Bill Murray
Chevy Chase all these cool guys even Rodney
I go and then they got this guy from a sitcom Ted night
And then he steals the movie and the same thing happened with Jackie Gleason spoke in the band Yeah, these guys stole they were so good. It's unbelievable. Gleason was the fucking man. Yeah, Jackie Gleason was the man
It was he did serious acting too. He's in the hustler. Oh, yeah, it was amazing
He was great in the house. Did you hear they said some review or some famous back when reviews were famous goes
I just was Laurence Olivier and him did a movie together he goes I just watched a movie with the greatest living actor and
Laurence Olivier. Jack Eagley is so good. He was awesome best pool player to ever be a movie star by
far yeah he was like a real good pool player like a professional level pool
player. Oh yeah yeah you could see even even the way play. Yeah in the hustler
He's the way she was making his own shots when Paul Newman make his shots
This is nonsense, but when Jackie Gleason did this a smooth a fluidity to the way he moves around
But now why would you remake the hustler? Look, we all love more
Color money was a separate book. Well, it was a sequel but even so it's the same
It was the same author it left a bad taste in my mouth.
Really?
Yeah.
Oh, it was a great movie, too.
It's a great movie, too.
Very accurate, too.
He did the, remember he did the flipping the pool cue.
Mm-hmm, that's a little nonsense.
People don't do that.
But especially not with the Balabushka.
But what he was doing in the movie, like portraying how people hustle and move around that was all real and it's by the same
Guy who also wrote the Queen's Gambit. Did you ever see that show?
Yeah, it's great show amazing show about that girl was a wizard chess player. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's the same guy
Walter Tevis, right?
Yeah, you wrote the hustler how like
Compelling is her face and her energy?
Oh, yeah, you buy it all in.
Whatever, you just buy it.
Yeah, you buy all of it, yeah.
You're really there with her.
She was awesome. She's really good.
Yeah.
What is her name? Anna Joy? What is her name?
I'll never know.
But the whole...
Anna Taylor Joy.
I like the fact that at least he bothered...
That's one thing about Tom Cruise, he doesn't play games. He's in the color money
He learns to do like nunchucks by the way nunchucks were big when I was a kid
Oh, nunchucks just came out. Oh, yeah when I was a kid and people have nunchucks
Everybody walk around with black eyes because nobody know how to use them. You just saw it in the movie. There was no YouTube
Tutorials and even this I these teachers the martial arts teachers didn't know what they were
Yeah, so they can't work right everybody had a black eye for like a long time yeah I banged myself
in the back of the head multiple times. The back of my head crack. Now when you did this karate
tournament in the 80s in New York is it are you guys striking each other yeah
wow and it's full contact like yeah well the karate tournament that I went to in
New York was what was called a point tournament tournament point tournaments were different than taekwondo
tournaments in that
There wasn't continuous action you'd hit the person and they would stop and call point
So it's almost like this really high level game of tag, right?
Wasn't really the thing that I did
I did taekwondo tournaments primarily which will a continuous action and you would win by knockout a lot of times and so
will a continuous action and you would win by knockout a lot of times and so basically just trying to kick this other dude in the face or in the chest as hard
as possible and stop his body from working right that's that was my
objective it was like the kumite it was like that a little bit in taekwondo
tournaments you couldn't punch to the face you could only kick to the face and
kick to the body and then I would transition from that into kickboxing but
it was it was like,
when I went to New York City, we were trying to do anything. We would try anything. There
wasn't that many tournaments. So if there was no Taekwondo tournaments, we would enter
into karate tournaments. I fought like probably, I probably fought a hundred times.
Wow.
Yeah.
And was there a time?
I can't imagine. If I counted all the tournaments, because oftentimes you'd fight three or four times in a day. I probably fought a hundred times. Wow. Yeah. And was there a time?
If I counted all the tournaments,
cause oftentimes you'd fight three or four times in a day.
No kidding.
Yeah, in my last kickboxing fight
was the third fight of the day.
I had three fights in one day.
I won the first two fights and I lost the last one.
Wow.
In a day.
That's crazy.
Can you imagine?
It's good to be a kid, huh?
It was good to be stupid.
Yeah.
If I had a kid today and say, hey, you're not fighting again. You just get hit in the head
I do come on and bruises all the time. It's no yeah. Well. I always came home from training and bruises
Yeah, and from fighting yeah, you get fucked up. Yeah, you get black. I always had black eyes. I broke my nose I
Don't know I probably 20 times I had to get it fixed
Wow, I had to get the inside of it all cleaned up and it all calcified like a wrestler's ear
You know wrestlers get calcified
You get smashed in the nose enough. What happens is the inside of your nose all that tissue
swells up and bleeds and then it gets broken and your septum gets twisted and blocks off and then you get like
And then it gets broken and your septum gets twisted and blocks off and then you get like calcium deposits inside your nose
Just like you get in your ear like a cave like a little like rocks. Yeah. Well, it's horrible I couldn't breathe at all. I did a very nasal voice
For a long time until I got it fixed and it was like 40 when I got it fixed
Wow, because I kept breaking it because I'm just gonna keep breaking it
It's like what am I gonna do like I broke it like three times when I was on news radio you did
Yeah, he's breaking it be sparring or just rolling you accidentally get a knee to your face
And then you know, it's a beating you're like well
I broke it again
We were now like Benny the jet and those guys in the valley actually started at the Jet Center when I first moved to Hollywood
That was the first place I went to it's great. It was like just two places. I wanted to go to where I went to Hollywood I wanted to go to the Comedy Store and I want to go to the Jet Center when I first moved to Hollywood. That was the first place I went to. That's great. It was like there's two places I wanted to go to
when I went to Hollywood.
I wanted to go to the Comedy Store,
and I wanted to go to the Jet Center in Van Nuys.
I found out about it.
I was like, it's the Jet Center.
I can't believe it's real.
And when I was there, Blinky Rodriguez,
who is Benny's brother-in-law, amazing fighter too,
like a great, great kickboxer,
he had lost, I believe, a family member to gang violence.
I don't wanna say exactly who it was
because I'm not sure if I remember,
but I wanna say a son to gang violence.
And then, if it's not that, I apologize.
And then, so he offered free classes to gang members.
So he wanted to teach these gang members,
like discipline, give them a sense of like community and then give them structure give them something they can
So I was taking kickboxing classes with gang bangers, but I'd moved from New York and I came to LA
I didn't have any friends and here I am in my Volkswagen Corrado
Pulling up to the Jet Center and Van Nuys and I'm taking kickboxing classes with gang bangers
Like this guy had this fucking tattoo on his back this homemade tattoo of the name of his gang
It was like plot those and then underneath it. It said fuck the rest. I was like oh boy
This is 1994 this back has his gang and then fuck
Yo 1994 this dude's back has his gang and then fuck the rest I was like yo
What am I doing so I had a spar with these guys so sparring with these gang bangers and
You could like they didn't know what they were doing like a lot of them right, but you couldn't I wouldn't hurt them I'm like I'm not gonna hurt this guy. You know I'm just gonna like touch him a little bit
Yeah, I'm just gonna like just give me a fright put a foot in his face. I'm just gonna like touch him a little bit yeah I'm just gonna like just give a fright put a foot in his face I'm not gonna hurt him no I do
not want to get shot in the parking lot I do not want to get stabbed you cannot
humiliate one of these guys no so you just move around be defensive with eight
swing punches just work on blocks right work on moving footwork touch them a
little bit but there's no like going after him. That's great. It was scary
It was fucking scary these guys were murderers. Ben was a rough area in the 90s. Super rough. It was super rough and
But a lot of great kickboxers were there too
It was also like Pete Sugarfoot Cunningham was there and you know Blinky was there teaching classes
Which is to me was like as a kid who grew up watching him on TV to be in their gym
I was like, holy shit. This is crazy
but then unfortunately the earthquake fucked up the roof and
When it rained when the rainy season came the whole building got destroyed the the roof was all fucked up
Oh you were there for the earthquake, you know
I was there right after the earthquake and then the rain came after that and their building was fucked
So eventually opened up a place in North Hollywood and I went there for a while, but it was just Benny
It was a smaller place. I went to I was at in LA during the earthquake during that 94 earthquake
And I was staying in this like temporary housing place on
On what it was across from Northridge, but it was in Westwood District.
And I wake up and I go, oh my God, I'm dreaming that my bed is flying across this entire room.
Oh my God.
My bed flew across the room.
And it was scary, man.
Oh my God.
I mean, my bed was fine, but buildings were collapsed all around me.
People were in the street at 5 a.m. in their underwear, the whole city.
The whole neighborhood, I mean.
I was only in a small earthquake.
I was in a 5.5.
And I was in my apartment in North Hollywood.
And it was like I was in a washing machine box
or a refrigerator box where it just had no stability.
Like I was like, what?
I thought an earthquake could be like,
everything's shaking. Yeah.
Everything moved.
Everything moved.
It just moved side to side,
and I remember thinking, oh shit.
It's like having vertigo.
But it was, I was just thinking, this is a baby one?
This is like a five?
Yeah.
So a seven is how many times greater than this?
Holy shit.
Yeah, it fucked up Northridge and Van Nuys got
fucked that was more than any place another reason why I'm glad I got out
of LA in time I'm like it's coming well if you guys think you got it bad now all
the shit in the streets and all the tents and wait till an earthquake hits
that mess well about two weeks ago I was in New York and I go, Oh, what the hell was that?
Oh, yeah. And it was an earthquake.
Yeah. Earthquake in New York.
It was crazy. It was crazy.
That's so unusual.
Yeah, I never even heard of it.
So this earthquake in Van Nuys, I guess it fucked up the roof of that building.
And it condemned a lot of buildings.
It destroyed a lot. It destroyed that whole area.
Northridge is right next to Van Nuys.
Yeah, they just it just the place flooded
There's a photo of me Jamie
There's a photo of me like a black and white photo of me along from a long time ago throwing punches
And it was taken at the Jet Center
The original Jet Center. Yeah, it's like 1994
There's like this photo of me I would ripped I was young and healthy back then right right yeah
Kid I had most of my hair. Yeah, it's crazy right? Yeah, that's it whoa
That's me
Center in
1994
You like showing kind of me
in 1994
You're like Sean Connery
I don't know what's going on my lips, but
I was in the middle of throwing punches. You used to go there all the time, huh? Yeah
Yeah, and they had a photographer there one day. And did you when did you pass at the Comedy Store?
94 you did be passed right away. No like six months. Yeah, Mitzi gave me six months. She didn't like that I was already on a a TV show. Oh, you were already on the show Yeah, I was already on news radio. She didn't like that's why you went out to LA. Yeah, I went out to LA just for news radio
I never I had no
Interest in acting right? It was I was purely being a prostitute. I was just willing to go on
But what a great first thing to be on. Yeah, all I cared about was stand up
I just wanted to stay right and then I was like, Okay, maybe this is my career now. Okay, maybe I'm acting now. You know,
and then I'm also I'm doing this stuff. And I was like, this is weird. I had no acting
classes before I was on TV. No, nothing. I took the when I got a development deal with
Disney, they made me get an acting coach. Yeah. So I did a couple of one on ones with
this lady and I didn't like it
it was there was a lot of like weird ego stuff going on and
She also wanted to be my mom and the show was like there was a lot of weird stuff. Oh, yeah, of course
But it's just like that world was not I'm not interesting in that world and I was like, this is not I just alright I'm just gonna do my best. I'm just gonna do it the way I would do it, which is pretend.
Pretend this is actually happening.
Pretend I'm this dumb guy.
Pretend this is actually happening.
But I didn't know what I was doing.
Like I didn't know where Upstage was.
I was on television.
They were like, Joe, could you move like six inches Upstage?
Like, which way is that?
Like which way is Upstage?
Like it's flat.
I didn't know that old stages used to be slanted and upstage meant you move backwards
Which is kind of crazy
Yeah, instead of saying would you step back move upstage like everybody's using these old time
Right terms for a slanted stage right the whole audience who's seated there could see everything because they did it in front of a live crowd
But that must have been fun doing in front of a live crowd. It was fun
It was fun when you got good lines, but you didn't really get to control. Like
the first show that I did was terrible. It was called Hardball. That's what I
came out to LA for. It was a baseball show. So that got canceled and then then
I got lucky that I had a development deal with NBC right after that and I was
gonna do my own show,
but they said, hey, we got a part on this show
that we're already gonna do, and we're gonna recast it.
And so it was originally Ray Romano.
I know.
Yeah, so Ray got fired,
and then they replaced it with a guy,
and that guy got fired, and they replaced it with me.
Which made me feel better,
because at least I didn't take the job from Ray,
I took the job from some guy.
Even if you did, Ray obviously stunk, and he just got what he deserved. because at least I didn't take the job from Ray. I took a job from some guy.
Even if you did, Ray obviously stunk
and he just got what he deserved.
Well, it was the best thing that happened to him
because then he went and does every of those Ray man.
But I loved Ray.
And so it was weird.
It was weird, but it was okay
because the other guy got the job first.
And then all of a sudden I'm on this fucking show
with Phil Hartman and Andy Dick and Dave Dave Foley. I'm like this is crazy
Like I've been acting for all of like four months ever, you know, I did one terrible TV show
Yeah, you know you want to acting classes here you are
And how long are you doing stand up at that time six years?
Yeah in the game I was in the game, but I wasn't that good yet
I was no and said you work with the Hartman. Phil Hartman is one of the
legends of all time. He was a sweetheart too. What a great guy. He was a great guy.
A genuinely interesting weird guy. I don't know anybody like him. I mean he did the
for my journey, he did the Crosby Sills Nail Art. We have one of his albums out here. Is it crazy?
Yeah, always a brilliant artist. He was also a pilot when I bought my house in
In the valley he took me to these areas when his plane took me over to show me like areas where you could move to
He was living in Encino, and I think I was still in Encino at the time too
And I was like I had had a stalker and so I really I've like I got to get a little further out
You know this like this is to just people knowing where you live things is too weird. I gotta go to a place
That's more secure and so then when I moved out to the valley Phil took me out there
I was playing to show me areas when you're flying over these places you see all these trees and the hills and the mountains
I was like oh, this is beautiful. I'm go here and just drive in that's way better.
It's great.
Yeah.
And you guys were in Burbank?
We did it in a bunch of different places we did it at CVS Radford for a while.
That's the best location.
Sunset Gower we did it for the most.
I love it there.
Yeah Radford's great.
Great lot.
Jerry's Deli and everything's right nearby.
Oh yeah Jerry's Deli's gone.
It is?
I think it is.
All of them are gone huh? I think it is. Jerry's Deli and everything is right nearby. Jerry's Deli is gone. It is?
I think it is.
All of them are gone.
I think it is.
I know the one in the valley in Woodland Hills is gone.
That was a bummer, man.
That was fun.
Oh, that place was so good.
In the 90s, I was just talking about LA in the 90s, how you could drive around to Jeff
and there was, traffic was nothing.
Now it's, you can't move. Yeah.
It's overpopulation cities makes it way more tense.
Yeah.
Like people are way more tense now
than they were in the 90s.
It was like a way more relaxed city.
That's hard to believe because everybody in their head
is like, LA is like beep beep fuck you.
Everybody's doing coke and on their way
to a business meeting.
Back then it was like you could get to work in a half
An hour. Yeah, it wasn't that big. Yeah now
It's the fucking if you where I used to live in the valley if I wanted to go to the Comedy Store
Yeah, Comedy Store is 22 miles from my house, but it would take me 22 ish. I'm guessing but it would take me
Our 10 minutes me our ten minutes hour and ten minutes at you know at seven o'clock well now if
I try to leave at five it's two hours I need two hours if I have a meeting in
Hollywood at five I have to leave my house by three or I'm fucked oh it's
crazy it's ridiculous two hours to go 22 miles and that's normal and that ain't
even Long Island how about people making it into the city in the daytime?
Yeah, you ever you ever get stuck in that mess sure coming from the island and try going going across the fucking bridge
Oh, Jesus Christ crazy. You just want to jump off the bridge
Yeah, and guys do it every day just so they can have a lawn every day every day just like I have a lawn
Yeah, just exhausted. Well, it's also taxes or taxes But also you want a backyard? I want a backyard and when Saturday comes along I want to sit with a cup of coffee
I fucking or to see a deer me. That's right
You know, let me fucking relax a little bit. I really have to be a part of that fucking concrete horse shit
Yeah, cuz there's something about living in the concrete horse shit that some people love. I love it.
They love it.
I love it.
Yeah, you love the energy, right?
Yeah.
Just the old people around you.
I don't know.
Everything's happening.
I like to, yeah.
I'm just so used to it.
It's my whole, yeah.
I mean, but I liked LA.
When I lived in LA, I loved LA.
But I lived all over LA, but, you know, and I like driving.
But that's the thing.
In LA, you just have to be in love with your car.
If you love your car, you love LA. If you don't don't love your car. You don't look that's a good point
it's a good point and in LA the problem that if you you're fucking around with like a
Tesla with 30% power. Yeah, you got 30% battery left. It's 3 p.m. Like oh buddy. You might be fucked
You might be like really fucked.
Like you might be, your car might die on this road.
You're fucked.
Yeah, you're fucked.
You gotta drive two hours?
You gotta drive to San Diego? What?
Yeah.
You can't drive to San Diego.
No.
It's not gonna make it, it's gonna be five hours.
They say all the people that commute to LA now, like they don't just carpool,
they apartment pool. So they don't just carpool they apartment pool
So they don't go home. They go to work Monday. They stay till Friday, and then they go home. That is so insane
That's so they have to rent an apartment together. I have to stop saying nice things about Austin
Stop saying nice things about it. Yeah, there's too many construction cranes still. I know it's great
You know, it's not just me the other day, but there's so many companies moved here. Yeah, there's just so much shit going on here
So I don't want this to become like that
Yeah, I
Think there's something about Texas though that rebels that will always rebel and they realize how bad people fucked up in California
And hopefully the people that moved here realize how bad they've always been
Yeah, they've always been they've always had one foot out of the country Texas. Let's face it. They came in came in really reluctantly
Yeah, and they've they've been here reluctantly. They got one foot out. Yeah, they're like we don't need we'll leave
Well when you know about the history of this country this this land right this area
I mean, this is a brutal brutal place. Yeah, like you ever read the history of this country, this land, this area, I mean, this is a brutal,
brutal place.
Yeah.
Like, you ever read The Empire of the Summer Moon?
No.
Oh my God, I get it, too.
You gotta read it.
It's incredible.
It's a history of this place.
It's the Comanche Indians and the history
of the Texas Rangers.
The Comanche Indians, yeah.
I like that.
The madness.
Yeah.
I mean, clearly, what the colonizers did,
what the people moved here, what they did was horrible.
No one has ever denied that.
But if you don't know what the Comanches were doing
to other Indians, if you don't know what these
raiding parties would do, they did some of the wildest shit.
They would start a bonfire,
and right before they threw the guy on the bonfire,
they would hold him out by his arms and legs,
hack off his arms and his legs while he's still alive,
and throw him on the fire to watch him squirm like a worm.
Unbelievable.
They would feed people, their friends.
They would cut people to pieces in front of you.
No one surrendered
ever. You always fought to the death because if you were captured, you were 100% going
to get tortured and killed. Tortured and killed. For fun. There was no prisoners of war, there
was no honor, there was none of this European bullshit. They were doing it old school.
Old school.
And that was the entire country,
except for the agriculture.
There's a lot of people that accepted agriculture
in the Southeast, and they were calmer and not war bearing.
And they weren't even riding horses a lot.
The Comanches were the horse bearing ones.
They were the best with horses.
And they were the most fierce, and they only ate meat, so they could go for days without food, unlike some of the settlers,
some of the people that were trying to make it across, and some of the people that they
fought.
What about, I've been reading this book, speaking of cruelty, Jerusalem, so the history of Jerusalem.
So the early sieges and the same torture techniques, but know who gave it to me this guy you know
Kevin Fitzgerald.
Yes.
Comedian but he's a bodyguard for the Rolling Stones.
Yeah.
I just worked with him last week and he was just you know he was telling me the stone
stories.
He was bodyguard for 20 years for the Stones.
He tells the greatest because he's a very intelligent guy, but he was a boxer that became
a bodyguard for the Stones and then moved on and started doing stand-up and he's also got like
doctorates in veterinary medicine, but he started telling me, do you ever hear this one about Mick
Jagger, about the people in wheelchairs? Because you know you just feel like, oh,
Keith was a cool guy, Mick was a good guy. good Mick Jagger every day every show for 20 years
would take this guy Kevin put on a hoodie so nobody could recognize him go up because in those days
they put the wheelchairs in it if you were in a wheelchair they wouldn't let you be with your
friends they'd put you in a separate wheelchair section in the balcony everybody in a wheelchair
to go Mick Jagger would go up with eight tracks t-shirts Hand them out never told the press never made sure nobody knew about it except this bodyguard and
Talk to all the people in wheelchairs and give them t-shirts and give me a tracks for 20 years
Wow, that's wild, but this guy tells a million stories, you know, he's been bodyguard for 20 years
He's got great stories. That's cool. How do we get to him? We were just talking about
Jerusalem and
So torture techniques so this book on Jerusalem like what I've thought about it. What is the name of it Jerusalem?
History or something I've thought about reading about it and I get anxiety
I'm like look just not not that particular book but about Israel and I get anxiety. The book. The just not that particular book but about Israel and Palestine.
But this book goes back to the beginning.
This book is really, I mean I just saw, I've only read like the first couple of, it's amazing.
Is it this book?
That's the one.
It's crazy.
It's a crazy place.
It's wild.
And it starts out, you're like, oh my God, it started on the most Bloody but somehow everybody knew it was significant even then like it was never this place that people weren't like they were always like
No, this is the place. What do you think about that? Do you think does that make any sense?
What is there is there a place that's more holy?
than other places
You mean like Sedona? Yeah, Sedona's a good one. That's the good one for hippies.
For hippies, believe Sedona is like a sacred place. Yeah, well I always feel
like this. Well even when I was just at the gig, I was at the gig with Kevin Fitzgerald,
who was in where The Shining is in Colorado, where they shot The Shining,
that hotel. Yeah. And so they go, it's haunted. And I'm talking to the kid that works there and he goes listen. He goes I didn't believe any of this shit
He goes I've worked here for two years. It's real he goes Lucy. They knew the names of the ghosts Lucy
She's a redhead. He goes I open the mirror when I'm here alone at one in the morning because it's kind of a really out-of-the-way
Place, you know, yeah, he goes these, he starts describing all these things that happened, you're like, oh God.
So I do believe this place is sure.
Yeah.
I think there's something to some of it.
There has to be.
Yeah.
What is energy?
What does it mean?
Why are they willing to kill each other over one place because they think God's coming
to this one place?
Like, what do they know?
Yeah.
It's so, it's so important to them.
Like how about- You're going to love this book're gonna love this book. This is exactly the point
How about Mecca? How many Muslims travel to Mecca? Yeah, and you're you're you're absolved of your sins
Yeah, you go to Mecca you make the pilgrimage and they all go around and they're what they're essentially walking around a meteor
Yeah, it's a meteorite, right? Is it? Yeah, I think that's a center
Isn't that what it's the center of that box in Mecca? I?
Think that's what it is. Look at that
I mean when you also like how beautiful is that if I know there you probably really believe
Even I mean it probably even if it wasn't true would have that effect on you. Yeah, just psychologically
Yeah, we do this incredible all these people the only people and everybody's peaceful and nobody's talking about Medina
Nobody's talking about anything Mecca and Medina and they always talk about back. It's like Springsteen and John Cooke, America
That's the other one the other one
So does it say there's a stone there
But isn't there Google meteor or meteorite? It's where the yes where well Mohammed first saw the thing
right? I think there's there's something to the okay there it is. Oh there it is. Oh, there it is, yes!
Yeah.
The embedded black stone was a further symbol of this as a meteorite that had fallen from
the sky and linked heaven and earth.
Yeah.
It's crazy that they got one spot, like they'll fight over that spot.
You can't have that spot.
They do?
That's, oh yeah.
Imagine if like the United States wanted to put a military base on that spot like now
We gotta take away your religious spot. It's not real now that I take away your spot
That would be a real deal breaker. I could be a deal break with my D. Oh, there's Medina right next to it
They should spell it different. I keep thinking about Tyler Perry's character
Medea
That's a mecca that's Medina. And Medina was cool too.
Wow. Yeah. They always say Mecca and Medina. Oh really? I only heard Mecca.
I know because people pray to Mecca. They don't pray to Medina. But I think you have to go to
both. So is it like, it's a major Islamic, they're really downgrading Medina. I don't like this.
Yeah. The tombs are there, the tomb of the prophet Muhammad and other leaders are at Medina.
Is it like Simon and Garfunkel? Like one of them they just who for everybody, where's Garfunkel?
He was like, hey Garfunkel's great. What happened? He was great. Oh, what happened?
Yeah, some of these things, Garfunkel, Those things happen. Although I'm sure they wouldn't, of all
the people to be compared to, I don't think Simon and Garfunkel what they want to be compared to,
if you know what I mean. I know what you mean. I do know what you mean. They say,
can you name somebody else please? But I wonder what is so specific about that area, you know?
Yeah, no, I think Muhammad is from there or something.
Yeah, and also the areas in Israel, these areas that are, you know, the wall.
Oh yeah. Well, this Jerusalem book is really getting into it. And I'm like, oh my God,
just the early stuff that's happening. There it is.
Okay, it's known as the site where the prophet Muhammad received the command to change the direction of prayer to Mecca.
Oh, so that's where he learned it.
Yeah.
It's a weird time for religion for sure.
It's also a weird time for the Jews.
Like I've never seen more anti-Semitism,
like openly. Public and openly than now. Like, just regular anti-Semitism. Not even towards
these particular Israelis that are bombing Gaza. Just across the board, as if some 24-year-old
kid in New York is responsible for what's
happening in Palestine right just because he has a star David on yeah it's
crazy it's crazy it's good this the Internet is also got a group it's got a
group hysteria like a mob hysteria to it and then people is just like yeah and
get out all your things on that 100 100%. That's exactly what it is.
And it's also a bunch of people that have been bullied
and they've been marginalized,
and now they're a part of a team,
and then they bully other people.
Absolutely.
It's that old hurt people, hurt people thing.
It's absolutely.
There's, suddenly you know what it feels like
to be in a gang,
only you don't have to worry about physical repercussions. Exactly. And that's a good feeling. Yeah. Power. Destroy people. You got power. Yeah.
It's wild. It's changed our psychology completely. Or ours a little bit but the people that grew up on it have a
whole different psychology. They have a whole different mind than we do. Yeah,
they do. Yeah. And there's also a lot of really mentally ill people that are addicted. Well, yes
Yeah, of course
Of course a big part of it, right and you watch you watch them get more and more obsessed each
You watch them become
More and more compulsive and more and more you see it happen over the years. I've seen it
Well, I've know yeah they go they fall apart
Yeah, quite a few people that are like really falling apart because of it. Yeah
Yeah
Have you ever thought about going to the flip phone a?
Flip phone. Yeah, I don't even know if I had a flip phone back when they came out disconnect like Dave Dave Attell
He's all flip phone. He is flip phone. Yeah, wait text. He had a text when he was making a text in here
It's like
It takes forever it takes them forever to write a letter
I like when that guy Christopher Nolan you see his wife gave that speech at when he won the Academy Award this year
No, and she gave the speech she goes
She was the producer. I guess in the movie and she goes and my husband who?
Doesn't have a phone never had a phone. Never had a computer
This guy does all these high-tech thing. He doesn't only compute or a phone Wow
Is that weird? It is weird
Tucker Carlson doesn't have a computer either Wow doesn't have a television. I remember hearing in the 90s Quentin Tarantino
Wrote his scripts by hand like he never used even a typewriter or computer
Mmm, you think a guy like him would be into it. Well, a lot of people like writing things by hand In fact, I'm pretty sure JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter by hand Wow. Yeah
Pretty sure she wrote it by hand see if that's true. I think she wrote it by hand first and then
Typed it out later. I mean see if that's true. I think she wrote it by hand first and then typed it out later
I mean, that's that's a
That's so amazing. I also think that's how Bill Clinton wrote his autobiography
My life. Yeah, he wrote it. I'm 99% sure he wrote it long. It's crazy. Yeah I wrote first two potters by hand Wow and type them on a 10 year old typewriter
All the writer needs is talent and ink. That's insane
That's amazing hand-drawn plot map for inception Wow
That's nuts
nuts
Wow, what a psycho no computer
That's great and this guy's does like the most advanced screen his movies are always like maybe that's why maybe he realizes like he has more
Bandwidth yeah concentrating on something that's really important to him and less less room for nonsense
But the but those things you think they would give you more time for that kind of thought
Yeah, I think but I think they also distract you
There's so much distraction online
It's so difficult to do work
And I guess if you just choose to not engage in it at all
Then you're only concentrating on work because you're not checking your favorite site now. I've seen what's on YouTube
You know and him and JK Rowling both go in the magic realm. They go into another realm
So maybe that's how they get there.
Wow, especially JK.
She created a whole world.
She really did.
A whole world of wizards and lost kids and magic spells.
Great shit.
Amazing.
Yeah.
And now she's in trouble.
Oh, God.
She thinks men are men and women are women.
I mean, it's just insane that she can actually have that kind of insane opinion.
How dare.
How dare she?
How dare.
It's psychotic because she's in real trouble.
Everyone's like, oh, she's not canceled.
Yeah.
I mean, she's making her money because of her books, but don't act like she's not canceled.
Well, people are, she gets death threats.
I mean, it's like, it's weird. It, people are, she gets death threats. It's like, she's sick.
It's weird.
It's a weird time.
It's weird.
The weirdest.
That's a big part of it.
People like that can all get together.
People that think that's okay
can get together and act as a gang.
And everyone's so terrified of them,
they just kinda let them do it.
And nobody like stands up and says,
what the fuck are you doing?
Everybody's just kinda quiet.
Even people that are on the left though they will support the people that are
canceling her so that they don't get canceled. Yeah. You see it happen all the
time. Yep. Instead of saying hey you know she's a wonderful person and she has a
right to her opinion and yeah it's very reasonable opinion. Yeah. What are you saying?
It's crazy. What are you saying? It's terrible. Yeah, and they that's why they're so adamant about getting you to comply.
There can't be any debate on it because they know it's ridiculous. So they have to like fight you with tooth and nail.
Trans women are women. Yeah, you're like, okay all of them. Are you sure? Are you sure all of them?
Maybe you got a few psychos in there that are pretending. Yeah. No, no, okay.
Maybe you got a few psychos in there that are pretending. Yeah.
No?
No?
OK.
It's crazy.
Yeah.
And those are the ones that go after JK Rowling, the psychos.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And at least she stands up.
That lady's got courage.
She's got a lot of courage.
Yeah.
She won't stop talking about it.
I think she probably took her forever to realize,
this isn't going away.
So this is just what it is.
Fuck you.
Fuck you. The truth is it is. Fuck you. Fuck you.
The truth is the truth.
Fuck off.
Fuck off.
I had Riley Gaines on the podcast.
Oh yeah, the swimmer.
Yeah.
That's a crazy case.
Yeah.
You just let a guy start swimming with girls.
He says he's a girl.
And when he wins, you go, well, I
guess she's the best.
You're like, excuse me, I gotta clean my goggles for a second. I think I saw something.
You imagine when we were kids, this being a legitimate issue that's like national.
But it's just everybody on the sidelines is watching the pool going. Yeah.
They should all be able to vote.
Everyone should vote.
Yeah.
Like, at every one of these things.
How many of you think that a biological male should be able to vote?
And if you say yes, and if it wins, then the biological males can collect.
That's absolutely right.
If everybody says no, no, you can't do it.
But that's the thing.
Instead of just saying, look, we all understand trans people deserve rights. They get abused. We all agree, right?
But you can't be in the swim you can't be with girls. You can't fight girls. You can't you just can't
All the other stuff we understand girls. No, you can't even as girls. You're too big. But saying that is really
Considered hate speech.
Which is strange.
I know.
That's what's nuts.
But that's where it's anti-science.
Because if you just want to look at it objectively,
if you didn't think of it as a man and a woman,
if you just took it like an equation,
if you just looked at the numbers that
are on one side of this equation,
if you're trying to pretend that these two numbers are
equivalent, and you look at one of them them and it has much greater lung capacity,
much stronger heart, denser bones, different hip structure, less
susceptibility to ACL tears, different reaction times. If you just looked at
just the system, just a system of what it means to be a male human being and
compared it to like the elite of elite female human beings.
You'd go, oh, this is not an equal.
It's not equal.
It's just not equal.
Yeah.
And I guarantee, here's the sad part also,
is I guarantee most trans people feel the same way
and they can't say it.
Right, because they're not trying to compete.
Because they'll be considered sellouts.
If they say it in their community,
they'll be considered sellouts
and they're not allowed to say their opinion.
That's what I think.
Well, there's a rift now between a lot of gay people and trans people.
That too, yeah.
But I say even trans.
Because a lot of gay people are like, look, I'm not a girl.
I just like guys.
Yeah.
They're like, you don't say I'm...
And you're encouraging young boys to change their gender.
And they're not going to be able to cum anymore.
Like if you're encouraging them to get the operation, which is crazy because they're doing thousands
of them, you'll never have an orgasm again. They remove your penis. It's gone. They create
a vagina. You have to keep it dilated with a thingy stuff up there. Are you sure? Are
you sure? You know? Yeah. We tell you, you know, 35 at least make those decisions. Yeah. If you a 35 year old guy, and you want to become a girl. God bless you. God bless you
But that's the thing. I think a lot of trans people agree with all of this
I do I think they do too and they just they know that they're not allowed because
They don't want to throw the baby out of the bath water and it's like there's a lot of things going on with it
Like why would I?
Sacrifice against my community when I'm just going to get screwed by both sides on it?
That's the other thing that goes on with the internet hysteria, is that suddenly if you
deviate at all, you're out in bad standing with everybody.
Yeah.
Well, that's the problem with detransitioners.
The people that transition and have deep regret, they get attacked.
They get attacked.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
And then gay people who say that they wanted to be trans
They're younger, but then they realize they're just gay when they're older and thank God I didn't do anything those people get attacked
Yeah, but that is that's a large number
There's but there was a study about that about how a lot of the people that thought that they were trans when they're younger
If in time, they're just gay. Yeah, but when there's a thing that you're told like,
oh no, you're this, and then they give you hormones
which adjusts everything, literally changes
the way you feel.
And for girls to boys, it alleviates anxiety,
which is a problem, because then you think,
this is what I've always been.
Because you're taking testosterone,
like of course you're gonna feel different, and now you're saying, oh this is how I always was. If it're taking testosterone, of course you're going to feel different and
now you're saying, oh this is how I always was. If it is how you always were, you wouldn't
have to take this exogenous hormone. That wouldn't be necessary. If you think you're
a boy, just be a boy. You might just be a gay girl. And if you think you're a boy and
you're a girl, just live your life the way you want to live your life.
Absolutely. But if you start injecting things into your body when you're 14 or 15 years old,
you'll never be the same again. No. It's just you don't have a chance at normalcy. It's gone. If
you change your mind and one day you decide to have children, you might not be able to. You might
have ruined your voice, you might have changed and masculinized your features permanently forever and you might not have really wanted that you might have just had anxiety
I mean I started smoking cigarettes when I was 14, even though it's a different thing
But it's the same they say if you start smoking before you're 18
You have the the chances of dying young of lung cancer a thousand different. Oh, yeah, it's a year's thing, right?
Yeah, how many years you smoke? dying young of lung cancer, a thousand different. Oh yeah, it's a years thing, right? Yeah.
It's how many years you smoke.
Yeah, I mean.
It's what year you start too.
The crazy thing is like when we were kids,
people hadn't really got it in their head
that smoking was killing people.
Yeah.
They fought that so long,
they did such a great job bullshitting people.
They did such a great job of saying,
man, it's probably not that bad for you.
Because smoking looks cool. It does for you. Because smoking looks cool.
It does look cool.
It still looks cool.
I see those old French Italian movies.
I'm like, oh man, they're living.
They're fucking sitting there smoking.
Badass.
It's also the idea when you know it's bad for you
that this person doesn't care that it's bad for them.
They're living for now.
Yeah, well that's true too. That's a person in the they're living for now. Yeah, well that's true too.
That's a person in the moment just living for now.
Fuck the future.
I remember when I was 11, I had to go down to, I wanted to buy a 45 record.
I'm from the day, so 45 records.
And I asked my aunt, could I have a cigarette?
Because you had to walk two avenues, and each block, three blocks and two avenues.
And every block, there was a group of kids,
also 11 years old, that were up at that hour.
Hey you, that's what you didn't wanna hear.
Hey kid, like oh.
So I said, if I have a cigarette, I'll just,
it wasn't lit, and she gave me a cigarette, a Tarry tin,
and I walked down the block with my cigarette.
Nobody was out anyway, but you know that was my move that and the karate max
Yeah, that's does it to them and the six judo class young kid with a cigarette lose dangerous little fuck
Yeah, we got a knife, but the karate man you had to really commit
I literally had to stand on the train like this a horse dance
Yeah, and stand like this with the magazine open the trains moving like this middle of subway mmm. Who's gonna do that a karate guy? Yeah, yeah
Smart it's definitely better than putting in all that work
You don't want to do that
Sadly, that's really my motive was that of a lazy person. Yeah, you know I get hit in the head a bunch of times
You know any guys I know can't breathe out of their nose if
Fucking large percentage of them, but I but Owen Smithy when got the trophy that's even better. That's a smart move
So he's a funny dude man. Oh funny. She's so funny trophy. That's so hilarious
Such a funny thing to do. I
Knew a story about a dude who is a fake black belt. He actually went up killing
a guy later on in life.
Wow, he wasn't that fake?
No, it's a crazy story. But the guy was just a compulsive liar, pathological liar. And
he claimed he was a black belt in some martial art and a lot of people started getting real
suspicious of him. What he did was he made his friend drop him off in the woods and he brought a
duffel bag with him and he said he was entering into a kumite like a no rules
kumite karate fight in the woods and come back and pick me up here tomorrow.
So the guy shows up the next day and now he doesn't have the duffel bag, but now
he has a trophy that's the same size as the duffel bag and he said he won the
tournament and so he gets in the guy's car and the guy drives him back like
what wow he's telling he just made up a karate tournament in the woods and had
his friend drop him off and then had a bag that he brought with him he was so
not clutch like brought a duffel bag what's in the duffel bag oh you know
whatever yeah it's my game whatever my game there's a karate tournament well
trophy in there guess you you tell them the kind of guy that's like yeah I like
that kid you call it compulsive liar call him a creative thinker so one a
little credit for his a martial arts he was apparently allegedly banging this guy's wife and found the guy got the guy
like in his karate studio and strangled the guy to death and then was seen
driving around in the guy's car and eventually got arrested for it. Now wait a minute, he had a karate studio?
Yeah, yeah, he was a fake black belt
that had a martial arts studio.
Oh my God.
Yeah, and he actually had some people that trained with him
that were legit martial artists that he didn't know.
And he was like kind of just proficient enough
in the bullshit and got some guys who actually knew a little bit.
Yes.
Yeah.
Right.
He's just like, hey, do finger tip push-ups for 20 minutes.
I could teach you how to choke a person pretty quickly.
It's not hard to teach someone how to do this with your arm and that with your arm.
Being able to do it to a person is very difficult, but I could show you very quickly how to squeeze
it off and you would be really effective at it. And so that's what he did to this guy. Like
like he strangled him to death. He got behind him and he just choked him to
death and then he stole his car and just driving around. I don't know what they
did with the body. I don't remember exactly what happened but I remember
like because we had already confronted that guy on being a fake. My friend Eddie actually had a very uncomfortable phone conversation with him while I was with him
Where he's like you're full of shit man. Like you're not a black belt. There's no fucking way you're a black belt
It's like because he was he was telling him he did another thing while we were together like he went to
Thailand to
went to Thailand to compete in some mixed martial arts fight. And he had just learned this move called the twister.
Very difficult move to pull off.
And he came back and he told Eddie that he won his fight
by the twister.
And Eddie was like, what?
What the fuck are you talking about?
How did you do that?
You don't know how to do that.
You're not good.
He had rolled with the guy.
He knew the guy was terrible.
And he was saying that, oh, I'm a black belt in Japanese jujitsu.
It's different.
Like, okay.
But he was like, no, he was incompetent.
It was like a white belt on the ground.
And so he knew when he said he won this match, like he didn't really go to Thailand.
Like this is fake.
This guy's a nut.
And so Eddie had separated from him and then
after that we hear the story that he killed this guy and
Was driving the guy's fucking Jaguar around town like holy shit
Yeah, don't you think that compulsive liars like I feel like there's not enough research on
What it is because sometimes you'll be like that's
not true and they look at you and they you're not embarrassing them they part
of them believes it's true or they just broken yeah they're broken they don't
care if you if you feel good or bad they just want you to buy their story yeah
yeah they're not really there they They're not really connecting to you.
That's their only mission in life.
Sometimes it doesn't even benefit them,
and that's the most important thing to them.
Have you read about guys who have pretended to be doctors
and set up practices and operated on people and shit?
I went to one.
The guy, I went to one in...
For real?
Yeah.
This is in the 90s and I'll tell you this
it's all over the paper Dean I forget his last name but he's in prison right
now for life. Dean I'll look it up later but anyway somebody tells me I had like
a cyst on my arm so they go I know a guy that'll take it off you know he's a good
dermatologist Dean something. Anyway so he sets up an appointment
and it's on a Saturday at a doctor's, Park Avenue.
But it's Saturday.
And I was like, oh cool, I'm off Saturday.
I go over to his office, I walk in.
When I think back now, it was like nobody,
no reception, it's just him.
He goes, yeah, I'm just working Saturday by myself.
He goes, I left the reception and so off.
I was like, oh cool.
I go in the office, it's kind of dark,
but it's the doctor's office.
And I guess he worked for the doctor
when he had the keys or something.
And he slices the thing off, it kind of hurt.
It healed very badly, but it healed.
But it was not a great job.
I remember thinking, I'll never go back to that guy.
He overdid it.
Yeah.
Yeah, it wasn't, the Nova cane was weird.
Anyway, like four years later, Dean Fiello, F-A-I-
I was waiting to make sure it was the right guy.
That's the guy.
Sheds light on botched procedure that left New York woman dead nearly 20 years ago.
Oh my God.
He buried her under a concrete slab in his garage.
It's a good thing I left her on my own. Holy shit. That's the guy. What a psycho. Yeah. And he was like
really like he looked like uh you know he was like well coiffed hair and his crazy eyebrows. Is that the guy?
Yeah. But I knew him 20 years ago. He looked much better. He buried her. Oh he he got out, huh? I don't know exactly how they were talking to him.
He got out. No, when he was young. That picture doesn't do him justice.
Was he creepy looking?
What's that?
Was he creepy?
Yeah, you got to see the young when he's young, the picture of when he's young.
He looks like, not creepy, but he just looks like he would do it.
Yeah, there he is on the left. That's Dean. Yeah.
That's when they caught him. Yeah.
Wow. Fake doctor Dean Fiello feared something would go wrong. Yeah, I went to him. Do you think?
Did he have any medical history? I bet he must have worked for an office because he had the
keys to the doctor's office. He must have been like a receptionist. He was a crazy person. He
was a receptionist or something
yeah and what year was this where he's doing all this stuff from Madison Jersey
most likely succeed by his classmates wow wow
construction hair removal at a day spa became skilled at hair removal yeah 1996
again his own practice skin ovations from an office on Park Avenue.
The blood vessel removal, tattoo removal and this, he's selling himself short, he also
removed moles.
Wow.
That must have been the office, Park Avenue in 1973.
So how did she die?
How did this lady die? Uh, let's see. Lidocaine?
He had completed the same procedure on Cruz over a dozen times before,
without her experiencing an allergic reaction to lidocaine.
Oh, he was not licensed to perform this procedure.
He admitted doing it at least 14 times on Cruz alone.
He went on to claim that after some time, Cruz had bubbles coming out of her mouth,
and her body went limp by his own account.
He delayed calling for help, allegedly attempting CPR,
but could not get her to start breathing again.
He adds that despite being previously certified
in electrolysis for hair removal,
he didn't have the proper training
for what to do when a patient goes into shock.
Jesus Christ, what a crazy person.
An unverified claim made by Fiello, who is not
licensed or trained to make medical diagnoses and claims that he didn't know how to check for a
pulse, he admitted walking away while he believed she was dying of shock. Fiello later called a
doctor he knew personally to explain his version of what happened to Cruz. According to Vanity Fair
reporter Brian Burrow, the doctor told him to either call 911 or rush Cruz to a hospital emergency room. Instead of
helping Cruz, Fielo shoved Cruz's body into a black suitcase which had been
stolen days earlier from his housemate Mark Richie. Fielo claims he put the
suitcase containing Maria Cruz in his car and drove straight home. Then he left her
in the trunk for two days before finally removing her body into his garage
Which was just undergoing renovations
It's unclear whether Maria Cruz was still alive when Fieldo began to try to cover up his actions
Cruz's wallet and purse were discovered by Fieldo's housemate inside a black gym bag
Discovered by faello's housemate inside a black gym bag placed under a rafter in the unfinished ceiling of the garage in August
2003 just one month after Fiela was kicked out. He later admitted in June 20
2003 nearly three months after Cruz's killed that he had buried Cruz's body underneath the garage before pouring cement
Right before a sale of the house was closed boy boy and see what I said
the numbing agent didn't work that doctor just kept his fucking mouth shut
huh he the doctor he called yeah that doctor never told nobody yeah that's
kind of creepy that's really creepy like the doctor never go hey man whatever
happened that lady yeah he didn't even ask so like nobody even knew and all of a sudden she was, if that moron didn't leave that gym bag behind, he might have gotten away with it.
He probably would have. I'd be going to him today. I mean in 2003 how good were their ketchup people? Yeah. Not as good right? No.
But isn't that funny when I just said that numbing agent didn't work and that's he obviously tried to oh
god okay in the aftermath of the call between mutual friend though the mutual
friend of fail oh he did rat him out they both realized fail a lied when he
stated he got the woman to medical help that she was fine box searched the house
now fail wasn't there and while looking in the garage were called fail using
concrete just before moving out. Batch remembered how
uncharacteristically secretive he was about the project and his overwrite
reaction when Bach walked in on him pouring concrete. According to New York
State Detective Lieutenant TJ Mulrooney Bach Box information gave us the break in the investigation. We were hoping for
Brian Ford received a tip from faello's ex-boyfriend Greg Bach okay
So that's who Bach is Maria Cruz's body was recovered from the property now occupied by new homeowners boy
Can they get their money back?
Fuckin live in that house This This lady was underneath the garage.
You're parking your Honda over a dead lady. Yeah, for months.
Well, think of how many people don't know that that's happened in their
whole life. Yeah, a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Dun dun dun.
That was my guy. Yeah. He was a compulsive life.
Jivreed murder machine. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. Those guys are guy yeah he was a compulsive liar. Did you ever read Murder Machine? Sure yeah yeah
those guys were something. Yeah that was Joey Diaz turned me on to that. That book
scared the shit out of me about Roy DeMeo. Meanwhile my friends that grew up
around there they when they were little kids they were telling me they used to
throw snowballs at the old man's bar that bar like ha ha ha they throw snowballs
at the old men drinking there. Meanwhile they were just
slaughtering people now. Yeah they're throwing little 12 year old kids like at the old bastards.
They're throwing mafia snowballs. Is the mafia still a thing? I mean I don't think it's I mean
it's still a thing but I don't think it's nothing. I mean, when you think about how important the mafia was in the 50s and 60s and 70s,
even the 80s, but it's insane how much power they had.
Vegas.
I mean, they probably killed Kennedy.
I mean, well, it had something to do with it, but they, even if they didn't, they had
so much power over so many industries.
It was insane. Well, you got to remember Kennedy fuck them over
Yeah, because they got him in they had helped get him in they helped him when they say that but how much is it?
So they got him Chicago. You know, I mean a lot man, I guess so
But I mean, yeah, and then he turned on well, he led Robert turn on him. Yeah
Yeah, Robert turn on not good yeah? Yeah. Robert turned on them.
Not good.
But here's the weird thing.
Didn't Robert turn on them in the 50s?
I feel like that was before Kennedy was president.
But maybe he promised to lay off and then he didn't.
Really?
But I guess that's why I would love to, that's the one thing I'd like to see before I die,
I'm sure everybody would.
I want those Kennedy papers.
I want those papers.
Did you hear what Trump had said about them?
What that you don't want to see them or something? Yeah, he said if they showed you what they showed me you wouldn't release it either
But what does that mean he said he's gonna release him if they that means they that means they threatened him
Probably means it's right. What else could it mean? Well, I because you wouldn't want to release it either
It's like, what?
What's going to happen?
It's 60 years later.
What could it be?
It could destroy the CIA.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I mean.
That's why you wouldn't release it.
Yeah, that's why you shouldn't release it.
That if you were the president and they told you that, what would you do?
You go, well, you know what?
The public deserves to know, let's destroy the CIA.
Or do you say, you know what?
We're going to hide this and you're going to give the CIA even more power. But I'm saying here's the thing if you're the
killed the president whatever this was 2019 right yeah what you would do is you
would say this CIA was nothing like today's CIA that was back in 1963 you
know I mean that's all you would say you would say that was the terrible time in
our history and thank God there's been several
changes.
I just don't know if people would accept that.
Accept that the CIA has changed?
Yeah, I don't think they would.
I think it would open up scrutiny that would be almost impossible for them to do their
job the way they do it right now.
They just changed the name of the organization.
They changed Immigration, INS became ICE, became ASI. You know what I mean? Changed the name of the CIA. They changed, immigration, INS became ICE, became ASI,
became, you know what I mean?
Like-
Changed the name of the CIA?
How dare you?
Yeah.
What are you, a communist?
Changed it to the-
It's the Central Intelligence Agency.
I know.
I never liked that name anyway, it's stupid.
You know what I mean?
It's gotta be a better name.
What do you propose?
The United States over...
Well, let's think of something.
It has to be something like, you know, like the...
Overlords?
How about the...
That's what they are.
Information overlords.
Let's just cut to the chase.
The information overlords.
We decide what gets out. We find out what's happening. How about the American Shadow Boys?
Ooh, I like it. Shadow Boys sounds like a cool band. Yeah, that's like a cool
bluegrass band. The Shadow Boys. Sixth Street. Like something to do with a banjo.
They play at Sixth Street. Yeah, that sounds like a good band. The Shadow
Boys, I like that. Alright, I'm good a good band. The Shadow Boys, I like that.
All right, I'm good at band names.
Are you?
Give me another one.
I tried to make my nephew back 20 years ago,
he was trying to be a band.
I said, call yourselves the You Know What's.
Because that was one of my favorite jokes.
You ever hear that parrot joke?
You ever hear that parrot joke about the...
What's the parrot joke?
The guy buys the parrot, he goes,
you don't wanna buy this parrot,
he's got a filthy mouth, and he goes, ah, I can handle it. Parrot the guy buys the parrot he goes, you know about this parrot He's got a filthy mouth and he goes I can handle it back comes home the paragraph. Hey mister mister
He goes what he goes go fuck yourself
The guy goes don't talk to me that smacks the cage parrot beats up the parrot goes don't ever I goes
I'm not the guy to play with like that next day comes home
Packers a mr. Misty goes what he goes go fuck yourself goes you piece so smash
You almost drowned the power he goes next time you somebody go fuck myself. I'm gonna kill you
I promise you I'm gonna kill you next day shows up after work
Paracos a mister misty goes what?
Paracos you know what?
I forgot that joke. That's a good one. That's a good one
That's what they used to do in the old days cat school guys. They just go up there and tell Joe
Um, there's still guys that do that shit
Yeah, I hate to say it and I always get jealous cuz I'm always like god damn it. They work every time
Right, they're great jokes. Yeah all those old jokes people like oh that's the old joke
it's like yeah and they're great jokes yeah but you know we would never do it
we would never lower ourselves you know weird thing about great jokes is who
wrote them where do they come from yeah I tried to get I used to live in the
same building with Jackie Martling the joke joke man. Jackie the joke man.
So one time I go, Jackie, his old, it was like 15 years ago, I go, we're going to do
a documentary, we're going to find out all the jokes, where they come from, who wrote
them.
I said, because you must know a lot of this, because he knows every joke ever written,
you know.
So I go, you must know some of this.
He goes, no, I don't.
I go, what?
He goes, I don't know any of those.
I go, you know all these jokes, your whole life is built on it, you didn't bother to
try to find out.
He goes, I have no idea where they came from.
So even he doesn't know.
So that's what I gave up.
I don't think anybody knows.
Isn't that crazy?
Isn't that weird that nobody, some of these jokes are amazing and nobody knows.
Nobody knows where any of them came from. It's weird.
It's weird.
And some of them are great.
Where do they come from?
And that's also, we have that with memes now.
And some memes, you know who did it,
because they put like a watermark on it,
and they post it on their site.
Some memes, you get it in a text message chain.
Someone just sends you something, you're like,
wah!
Right.
And then you send it to your friends,
and they're like, wah! and nobody knows where it came from and some of
them are some of the funniest fucking things really ever seen online really
funny really funny yeah where does it all come from well you're getting now
especially especially with memes you're getting the input of millions of people and there's so many people out there
That could have been comics and just chose not to be they they either they didn't try it
And they have a mind for it right or it but they're funny then and so they get their funny out on sneak tip
They get their funny out when no one's looking they take a picture of Taylor Swift
They do something to it and they write something underneath it. underneath it and they post it up there and they're like, ah!
And that's how they're doing comedy.
They're getting that out in this way.
And when you're sourcing from millions and millions
and millions of people like we're doing currently,
probably more, probably billions of English speaking people
that are contributing to the meme pool of the world.
Cause you have all these other countries
with millions of people.
It's probably a billion plus people that are doing that.
And they're all online.
And out of those, you're going to get
a few thousand hilarious people that have never done stand-up
and could be a David Tell.
They just never did it.
Right.
That's right.
Yeah, I mean, those minds exist.
Oh, I used to have a few friends that were really funny.
We had this friend Al, a friend Al, would work in an ambulance. He would come home every night and remember
he would have an experience every night because he's in an ambulance. Right. He would come back
and tell us stories and people would be the next day and we'd be crying because every night the
way he told he was a funny guy. Yeah, and he would just talk about all the abuse
He took as the striver so I pull up and and he was that kind of guy. Like you said, he could have been a great comic
Yeah, there's a lot of guys like that. The funniest guy I ever knew who wasn't a comic was a guy I worked for
He was a private investigator. His name was Dave Dolan. He's called himself dynamite dickless Dave Dolan
They like leave messages on my voicemail.
I still have a phone number that I haven't gotten rid of.
I have this phone because it has a voicemail on it from him before he died.
He was a private investigator.
He lost his license, drunk driving, and so he needed someone to be his driver.
So he put an ad in the newspaper for private investigators apprentice.
I was like, oh, I'll try that. I needed some other kind of a job to just sustain
myself I was trying to make a living doing stand-up and so I drove this guy
around for six months till he got his license back and we did a lot of private
investigative work. Oh my god he was hilarious he was so funny he was so
funny about everything he was always funny he. He was just on. He was everybody
he talked to. They just start smiling the moment they start talking to this guy. He was a charming
dude. He was smart as shit. He was just very, very funny. And he was, I would be crying. And I
remember telling my girlfriend at the time, I came back, we went out to dinner that night and we were
eating and I was like, I'm not anywhere near as funny as this guy and he doesn't even want to be a comedian.
No.
It's so, because I was an open micer at the time.
I was just starting.
Yes.
They're just funny.
He was just funny.
I mean just the fucking guy had a funny take on everything.
Yeah.
Same with.
And he was a drunk but he's quit drinking like that.
Never went back to it.
Never fell off the wagon.
Was getting hammered every night
And then went to nothing and was still had the sensibility of a hilarious guy at the bar
He still act like a drunk. Yeah, he was stone-cold sober
He had no filter dick Dolan. Yeah
Dynamite day going Alcantara same thing. Yeah, there's funny is those guys just would come out and just roll
22 minutes a day
It always makes me think about that Billy Joel song, you know
I'm sure that I could be a movie star if I could get out of this place right sing us a song. Yes
I mean, there's there's a lot of people out there that just never just never tried it never went for it
Never did you see and there's a million things to get in a way, you know. Have you ever heard of Forrester's Syndrome?
No.
I was looking up the origin of knock-knock jokes and this popped up in this article that
said in Europe, incessant wordplay became treated as a psychological condition.
Oh my god, Jamie's got to go to a hospital.
Manic punning, people that were compulsively punning.
That's Tony Hinchcliffe.
Right.
Tony Hinchcliffe would 100% get locked up.
Compulsive punning in inappropriate jokes was known as Forrester syndrome
I guess that's back when people you needed to go to work
There was only work. Yeah, joking. Hold on. Sorry, but joking just got in the way of things
Well, especially in 1929 Austrian Austrian psychoanalyst. Brill was exploring a malady termed Witzelschacht.
How do you say that?
Yeah, that sounds good.
Witzelschacht.
Witzelschacht.
An addiction to Wisecracks.
According to Psychology Today, German neurologist Autrid Forster identified manic punning in
what eventually became known as Forster syndrome.
Wow. And then I guess people got tired of it. Punning in what eventually became known as Forster syndrome Wow
And then I guess people got tired of it and they lumped knock-knock jokes in there It's like there's like in the radio in 30 people were like knock-knock jokes were everywhere in clubs
Oh, by the way, would this not be a great movie? Yeah
Like okay, so we all agree
Basically that the first real stand-up in terms of like the way we do it was Lenny right Lenny Bruce
Yes, he was the first so he was the first game change to just talk about stuff game change
Yeah
Just talk about stuff and make it funny instead of just have like a series of jokes that anybody could tell well not anybody
But right yeah, yeah, but you know like Catskill guys. Yes, so many of them were just joke tellers
Yeah, no, he was a game changer. Yeah
Who who have you seen live? Who'd you get a chance to see live? You see prior live? No never I had Carlin on
on a tough crowd. Oh really?
That must have been awesome. That was really awesome.
My whole, all my family, my family never really come to shows.
I'm from New York so my cousins, everybody, they've been in my shows over the years but
you know this is already a hundred years, they're not going to come.
I forget how I knew but I told them, the whole stands, there was 40 or 50 of my family, my cousins, my uncles,
my aunt, who's calling for Irish people of a certain, that Catholic, that routine he did was
like, it's the first time I saw a comedy have that power to, like they would just listen to it and
just laugh over the Catholic school experience that traumatized that. And this guy did 13 minutes explaining it.
That 13, that's all it was, 13 minutes, and it changed their whole lives.
And so they all showed up.
And it was just a really pow, and he was, said hi to, you know, like he understood,
like he went out there and was like, hey, how you doing to them?
It was really interesting.
Look at little skinny Jim.
Yep. Little young baby face Colin Quinn Jim demanded
to be on that show by the way yeah he loves calling oh yeah look at Nick
DePaulo oh yeah young and handsome oh yeah Greg Giraldo yeah that was a great
show do you think you'd ever redo that show would you ever want to no we talked
about this last time I feel like it was what it was at the time and it's just
but you were so good as a host thanks thanks have you thought about doing something
like that where you host something with Kyle well when I did when I did I did
this cop show on YouTube it was a basically like a law and order show and
I started having comedians on and I was planning on making it like like I would
have Jim on but it would the plot would involve insulting him and attacking him.
And then Bobby Kelly came on and he's dressed as a villain and he's complaining about me
putting him in this women's outfit and Keith Robinson.
So it became sort of like, that's what I would do.
But I mean, I ran out of money.
But I did a bunch of those cop show type things.
I think Tough Crowd in a lot of ways was the beginning of podcasting
Yeah, I think a combination of the opi and Anthony show and tough crowd
Yeah
Because those are the first places where comics got together and just talk shit and be themselves and talk shit to each other
Riffin and laughing at each other and having a good time together.
And you saw the comradery, which you didn't really see that with comedians. You saw them
on stage by themselves telling their routine. You never saw them sitting down together like
that.
No. No. Yeah, it was definitely an interesting thing, but I thought I would do it in that
form, the cop shit thing, because that was more, you could still do it and you could
make fun of the culture at the same time.
It was another way of doing it.
But anyway, I did that for a while.
But, you know.
But that show was groundbreaking, because like you guys would cover like cultural issues,
current news events, things that were happening, and you get all these comics have a take on
things.
And then trash somebody's personal life too in the middle of it
And there's there's clips on on Instagram like this is a this one channel that has all tough crowd clips
Yeah, and you go and watch you oh my god. These guys should be it's so much trouble today
Oh, we'd be gone even back then we got in trouble. I know but it's it's just crazy
I mean we're talking like tough crowd ended 2000 what 2004
2020 years
Wow 20 years ago. Isn't that crazy? That's 20 years ago. Oh gosh boy. It makes no sense time
It's just a motherfucker isn't it? It's ridiculous. It's so quick. It's terrible
It's so long and yet so quick so much experience and yet it
just all happened just a little while ago but so long ago 20 years a long it's
really long time insane to me yeah it feels like it was yesterday it feels
like it never happened it feels like both it feels like it was just recent and
like it was never it never occurred it It's a movie I watched. Right, right. Like if you watch it you won't even
remember what you said. And you think about Geraldo and Patrice, these guys
had long gone, you know. One of your crazy Geraldo story? Sure. This is really weird. I went to a
movie recently and I'm leaving the movie theater and I went into the bathroom and
as I'm leaving the bathroom this guy walks in and he recognizes me and he said hey, what's up?
And I go what's up?
And I thought it was Greg Giraldo for like one second because he was like he was taller
But he looked exactly like a young Giraldo and my brain I
Didn't expect to see him and so I opened the door and this guy's there exactly like a young Geraldo and my brain,
I didn't expect to see him and so I opened the door
and this guy's there and he says what's up to me
and I think he recognized me because it's,
like you know, Greg's dead.
And this isn't Greg, like this is Greg.
And I'm like hey what's up man, how you doing?
Nice to meet you.
And so I recover and I walk out and then I'm like,
oh my God, I tell my wife, I said,
I just thought I saw a dead friend of mine Yeah, I for one second. I thought it was him
So I know it sounds crazy, but it was I was so happy to see him for that one second. Yeah
I realized it's like a dream. Yeah, it was horrible, but it was great. It was like for that one second. It was great
Yeah, cuz I was like Greg. Yeah, but it wasn't him and they're gone forever
He was on the same set as me when I was doing news radio.
So we were doing news radio at one of the buildings,
and his building was right next door when he was doing his sitcom.
So we would always hang out together in the parking lot,
talk shit, and watch Joey Lawrence get into his car.
I mean, that's just great, right?
When you see... Of course.
Yeah, he had a sitcom there too
yeah they had a big scandal recently some charmaless thing right what who
Lawrence Brothers really what I thought I saw something but for real I didn't
hear about that what is it
sorry there's a lawsuit about one of those. Google that. I haven't heard that story at all,
but he would play his own music in his car.
Joey.
Yeah, look at Mercedes. Whoa.
Yeah.
Play his own music, rocking out.
Must've been fun.
He'd be a beautiful, handsome 19-year-old with a sitcom.
He's probably like 19, 20 years old.
Yeah.
Probably that older than that.
Just playing his own music in his car.
I was like, look at this guy.
I love it when you run into another comedian that just playing his own music in his car. I was like, look at this guy.
I love it when you run into another comedian on when you when you're involved with non-comedy things. Yes, Matthew Lawrence. That's what it was. My agency fired me after I refused to take my
clothes off for an award-winning director. Right. Whoa. Whoa. So they were involved in the victim
side of it. Yes, he was supposed to be like a superhero movie,
one of these things.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Ooh, it's creepy when you find out
how much of that stuff is real.
Yeah, it is.
You know, the more they unveil, the more stories come out.
Unbelievable.
Kids, Nickelodeon, like the Nickelodeon guy.
Nice, the Nickelodeon thing.
I was watching that.
Doesn't it make sense, though?
Like, if you were a fucking creep,
you'd want to work with kids. There's been many times in't it make sense though? Like if you were a fucking creep, you'd wanna work with kids.
There's been many times in my life
where I've been propositioned to get a huge role,
Lawrence says in the podcast.
I lost my agency because I went to the hotel room
where the actor alleges a prominent director
showed up in his robe, asked me to take my clothes off,
said he needed to take Polaroids of me,
and said if I did X, Y, and Z,
I would be the next Marvel character.
Holy fuck
Yo
If he's telling the truth, yo, yeah, you know who else was on the set Lenny Clark. Oh
He was yeah Lenny Clark was on that show with
What the fuck was his name he had he played a judge he used to be on the Harry Harry
Anderson god damn it. He had a judge. He used to be on the Harry Harry Anderson god damn it. He had a show
It was a show was his name John Laura cat. Yes, the John Laura Ketchel. So to pull up the cast the John Laura Ketchel
Did you be a servant Lenny clock
Then he when he first got a sitcom in the 80s
I saw him out there and 91, whatever it was.
There it is, look at Lenny.
So I knew Lenny because the second time
I ever got paid to do stand-up, I opened for Lenny.
And Lenny's like, kid, you're hilarious!
He gave me all this great advice.
I was like, holy shit, Lenny Clark from HBO?
He said I'm funny, he laughed at me,
like this is amazing.
And so years later, it was like five six years later
Lainey and I are working on sitcoms on the same lot just right next to each other
but the story is when you know, he got his own sitcom Lenny mm-hmm back in like 91 and
He went to the bank and he says I went to the bank
I think you told me the story maybe I heard it it on a show, but he goes and they go
Well, mr. Clark, you can't buy this house. We need this collateral. He goes. Here's my collateral. He showed him a TV guide
He was on the cover
Cover TV guy back when that was like a thing. He got robbed he did. Yeah his agent
Is it here and he was a part of I think it was I don't believe star
Robbing no, I know crazy, but I think this one person got like Jerry Seinfeld
Wait, I knew those guys of course story
Spotlight. Yes, that's it. Yeah, not star spotlight spotlight. Yeah, they fucked everybody. Oh, yeah
They were still millions of dollars, right? What happened with all that? They were in
Oh, I don't know, but I think they were very connected in certain areas
What I heard yeah
Nothing happened not good. Nothing happened. Damn. Yeah got robbed. Yeah, a lot of people lost money
It's like a Bernie Madoff type deal almost that's right for comedy. Yeah
Yeah, I mean if it's it's we'll handle your money Colin. Don't worry about it's it's well handle your money Colin don't worry
about it Colin we'll handle your money I mean it was so stupid and I remember
Brett Butler telling me look at these assholes
talking about spotlight these guys come in here to here to rob us and I go this
I was thinking like what do you have to do those who they were our friends we
see them every night at the club why would you think they're here to rob they
they're doing business they take their percent as I was thinking yeah me well
six months later I'm like oh shit they came right in they're here to rob? They're doing business, they take their percentage. That's what I was thinking. Meanwhile, six months later, I'm like, oh, shit.
They came right in, they come to the,
because that's what's so great when people are robbing you
is they're not, they're coming in like friendly,
they're hanging out with you as friends.
They're going to the diner.
They're bringing all that human being shit,
and then they fucking rob you the whole time.
They're sociopaths. Yes, yes. Sociopaths are amongst us. They're soci all that human being shit and then they fucking rob you the whole time. Yes. Yes
Sociopaths are amongst us. There's sociopaths. There are they they do exist
They do and they many of them are successful in business. Well, we talked about them last night like joke thief sociopaths
There's a bunch of them too. Yes, that's right sociopaths. Yeah, that's what it is. That's how they can do that. Well, they
They they
Disassociate themselves from what they're doing the same thing as those
Pathological liar like that guy Dean he didn't think he was gonna kill her
He's like helping her like they're not thinking I mean they know they have to cover it up same with jokies
They think they'd they don't think they're joke thieves. They're like, no, no, I'm just I'm inspired
But or they think everybody does it or they think everybody's influence. Yeah, what was the story with the spotlight?
Can you find that? What did they do? I don't think it even money. I don't even think they I don't think it became a thing
I think it was just we knew about it. I bet it's not even an article
So they were connected. Is that what the deal is? That was that was the word and it seemed like when I look back
I'm like, oh, yeah, that makes sense
Shady like they were just you know, so much shady. I know the more yeah That was the word and it seemed like when I look back I'm like, oh yeah, that makes sense
Like they were just you know, so much shady another more. Yeah, I see them all the time. Yeah, and they were just
Yeah shady motherfuckers. Yeah hanging out with and I remember the leader I don't remember his name, but he looked just like remember that movie Angel Heart when De Niro plays Louis Cypher, Lucifer
He looked like him.
You ever hear that Zack Bryan song, Damn Cold Vampires?
No.
It's a great fucking song.
It's about that.
It's a great song, it's about the industry.
It's Cold Damn Vampires is the name, but he says these damn cold vampires is the song.
Yeah, bloodsuckers.
It's trying to build an empire off the things that they can take
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's all it is is they're building an empire off of other people's work
I know they're doing it's just comedians in the evening
I guess other people are but comedians are really the easiest because we're not business people
We don't have a business mind right right so it's like they look around they go and they probably think to themselves like
Hey, if they want like like any thief thinks Right, right. So it's like they look around they go and they probably think to themselves like hey
If they want like like any thief thinks if it was that important to them, they wouldn't leave it out there
So just take it they didn't ask about the check you take it right because we get sidetracked And we all have like some kind of well if you're in a corrupt business and everybody else is corrupt, too
And in show business in the early days, it was all corrupt. It was all mob run and everybody was
Everybody was in code. Everybody was robbing. Yeah. Oh my god there. I mean
Yeah
It's crazy wild business. Yeah, but yeah, so
We were on that. So the Greg Giraldo thing was like Greg and I would just hang out in the parking lot all the time
I got I knew him in New York, but I really got to know him on the set great guy
It's not some guys when they die you just go
No
Just no no
Not that one. Yeah. No, I know I know and he was
Yeah, I mean he was I'd see him every night for years and it was great guy. Yeah, did you know Brody?
Yeah, I was Steven's I knew Brody when he worked at the cellar
He's be there the balkar at the cellar when yet when we had to drag people in the cellar. He was the balkar
He was great at it. Yeah
Yeah, he was a good dude. He was another one when he went I was like no
Just no, I know just what he died of suicide. Oh, no
Exactly. Oh my god
That's one where you just go
Maybe if you saw him the night before gave him a hug and told him how funny was and I love him
Maybe would have helped a little you know, you always think things after the fact.
Yeah.
You know, he had gone through some episodes where he would go off his medication and he'd
get a little crazy, then he'd bite back on.
And then every now and then he'd just catch that groove and he'd be on stage and he would
be on fire.
I remember one time I was at the Improv and it was a late, late show.
It was like a 10 p.m. show.
I think my spot was like 1130
So I do my spot and the foot the show's over. It's fucking 80 people in the crowd
It's one of them deals and then Brody is gonna close the show and they introduced Brody Brody takes his shirt off and he's
Swinging it around overhead with music like they're playing music. He's swinging around and walking through the crowd. He's like
energy positive energies music, like they're playing music. He's swinging around and walking through the crowd. He's like, energy, positive energy. So I'm swinging his shirt around and he goes on stage and he starts playing drums on the stool and everybody's going crazy. And then he goes into his material,
eight one eight till I die. And everybody's dying. I mean, he just took over the room.
And I remember saying like, he does so many these late-night sets that he
Just comes on with his big energy and he just
recharges the whole room
Everybody loved Brody. That's the kind of yeah, that's like well
Let's say Chris Farley thing where they were just coming and change the energy and change the energy of the room
The whole energy was just like whoa, and it's like you can't pull it off unless you're them like if you say I'm gonna be that guy and you
try it after like 30 seconds you just fade yes they just it brought more out
in that they're just organically that way you know exactly yeah like you said
about day dickless Dave yeah same thing same people start smiling yeah totally
could have been a comic. Yeah
Yeah, it's it's interesting how few people go down the path, you know, it's just a such a weird
If you're gonna really you want to be successful in life
It's not a good. It's not a good road. No
It's it's so there's so many
Weird obstacles to it that it's crazy and you really have
to get hardened.
It's like every other business I'm sure you're successful.
You a little bit of your innocence about humor has to die too because you have to really
it's a business for you too.
And as much as we love it and I love watching comedians and being a comedian
and I love watching comedians doing their bits and working it out, it's still you have to really be
tough. You have to be tough to be a comedian. Something in you has to be able to tolerate a
lot of shit. Yes. That's for sure. Yeah. You gotta be able to tolerate bombing, tolerate bad nights,
bombing, everything. If you can tolerate bombing, that's nights, this is everything.
If you can tolerate bombing, that's people's biggest fear.
Yeah, you can tolerate a lot in life.
That's people's biggest fear,
and we've literally had to stare in the face of a bomb
more times than anybody can imagine.
I mean, it's literally been over a hundred times in my life
where I've had people hating my guts.
Over a hundred times.
A whole group of people. Everyone's worst fear. Yeah. What year did you start? 84. Wow, so you were in the
boom boom. I came in 88 which is like a little after the boom. Yes. The boom was kind of like
dying off when I started. That's right. But that boom in 84 must have been bananas. Well, for me I was new so we
didn't even think of it. We just thought, oh, this is how life is, you know?
Right.
And suddenly, like two years in, you're making money.
Not a lot of money.
It wasn't like Boston.
I always say, we're talking about the last time
my clock paid real money, and all the guys
were getting robbed on us.
But yeah, it was such an exciting.
I mean, just imagine.
I tell people, you have a comedian, they go, what?
You're a comedian?
What?
Like it would just blow people's minds
that you were in comedy.
And then, you know, a few years later,
people are like, oh, my cousin's a comedian, so and so.
Yeah.
But at the time, it was blowing people's minds.
Did they have open mics when you started?
Oh yeah, that's the only way we'd get on, yeah.
How many, where'd you go? Where was the first place? The Paper Moon. There's a place called the Paper Moon. Eddie Brill
was running this place. Eddie Brill? Yeah so Paper Moon we started working out there.
I started working out there you know and weaseled my way into it and started
working out and I would bring crowds. Where was the Paper Moon? I was a good
I was a good bringer. Yeah? I bring all my friends because I grew up in New York.
Right. So my friends would show up grew up in New York. Right.
So my friends would show up, you know.
Where was the paper room?
On West, it's where the Boston Comedy Club became.
Oh, wow.
Downstairs. The same club?
Oh, downstairs.
Downstairs.
Oh.
It was really cool.
Boston Comedy Club was a great spot.
We were so innocent.
Yeah.
We just thought, you know, we had a sound guy,
and we're like, hey, we're gonna do film.
We tried to do films, and we just so, we're gonna do film we try to do films and
We just so in it every so innocent. We start you know
Yeah, I'd never want to do it again, but I'm glad I did it yeah
Starting something like that from scratch imagine at your age trying a new thing yeah people do do that. It's crazy
Like how do you have the energy? I guess it's their dream. Yeah, you can't you can't you what you said?
It's exactly right the energy to sustain. Yeah all those drives to bomb
For bad money and then like you said you had a day job
And also I had a day job too you had to make it because you didn't have any options
Yeah, there's only the only way you're gonna make it is if you had options my friends that all kept a full-time job
Yeah, and didn't give up on that job. They never made it as a comic
I know I don't know one who kept the full-time job and then got to a certain point in time where they could retire from
The job and then maintain the same level of comedy as their peers
Yeah, no one did but a lot of people didn't make it and they were funny. Yeah
but they just they
It's it's so many there's so many layers. I guess every job is like this, but we just don't from comedy
But well, it's just interesting talking to someone like you that I've known for so many years
I'm I think I first met you 30 years ago. Yeah, it's like yeah, we've known each other for so long
You need to think about how wild this ride were on is. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I mean
Think about how wild this ride we're on is. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I mean
It's crazy. It's crazy. It really is and what's crazy what you're doing I think is really interesting is like you're still doing stand-up
But you've also decided to do these one-man shows right and they're fucking amazing. Thanks. And are you
Do you plan these like how do you how when you decide to make one?
Do you plan these? How do you, when you decide to make one,
like the most recent one, how do you,
do you have a theme in mind when you sit down?
Well what happened with this thing I just did was
I had a theme in mind and it just wasn't going the way
I wanted so then I said, I saw these psychiatrists
and I go, oh that's my theme,
I wanna do it in front of psychiatrists.
So then the theme, the show was built around psychology and how we've cracked up as a society
based on social media and everything else to psychiatrists.
So I'm performing to them, but they set the theme.
They became, they made the theme exist by me thinking about performing for them.
So when you first set out to write this set,
you decided you were going to do it in front of psychiatrists?
No, I tried to do something else, and it wasn't working.
And then I was going to, the theme was going to be,
I don't know what the theme was going to be,
like small talk at one point, then social media.
And then I happened to accidentally do a show
with four psychiatrists who were in the audience together.
So I go, ah, I kept referencing back to them, ah, yeah.
And then suddenly I was like, that's what I want to do a show in front of psychiatrists
So how far into the creation of the set were you I mean?
probably
50% what but it all connects to psychiatry because it's all psychological. That's amazing. Yeah, that's amazing and
The ones you've done before yeah, like those are theme
Yeah, and do you like how do you do it? Do you sit down and just write it all out on a computer?
Do you know I go out like the Constitution show is a perfect example
I went every night to the creaking cave in
Long Island City and
Rebecca directed it so every night I go because I was like, I wanna do a show about the Constitution,
because I was, everybody loves the Constitution
on every side of every issue.
Everybody's like, Constitution's a great document.
So I just wanted to do a whole show on the Constitution,
because I was like, yeah, why is it great?
And so I just would work it out at Crete Cave all the time.
Just in front of four people, seven people.
Rebecca will tell you, 10 people.
There was never, I never did it in front of more than 12 people, seven people. Rebecca will tell you, ten people. There was never, I never
did it in front of more than twelve people probably.
Wow.
And eventually began the show, you know.
So you just didn't announce that you were doing it, you just kind of show up and do
it?
I announced it, people just didn't draw for it.
Really? No way.
I've never been a giant drawer. I'm really a comics comic. If the whole world was comedians, I'd be the biggest I'd be selling that statement
That's what I'm saying, dude. You're one of the best comics alive. Thanks. You really are but I'm only for comedians
I'm trying to talk you in the stand tonight. I didn't really know that I needed to coax you last night
I just didn't want to bother you. No, I was just being like I was I would have coaxed you now
I know I'm gonna coax you from now on I was being the guy that's now you're in trouble
Hey, I don't care if you're tired if you just ate you're going on stage now now. I know the game
I didn't game. I thought you just wanted to hang out something
I didn't want to bump people when I come to clubs a lot of times. I just want to hang out
I just didn't want to bump people. I don't know you do you was no bumping
I know but I don't run my was coming at their bees coming in
I don't want to be like they got a jump tonight come tonight. Maybe if I could change my place
I fuck let's see if I can change it. We'll change it We'll get a guy maybe tough. What's it?
Where you going again Seattle everybody's going to Seattle. Yeah, that's your needles
It's a good spot. And if you get the right time, they might take over the whole CD block
You get to be a part of that. They did again in Portland. Did they do it?
Yeah, another one Portland just did another one. They took over something. It's all over the news today. Oh
Didn't get the love that one place did.
What'd they call it again, Jamie?
The zone?
No, the chaff, chaff, no.
Yeah, something like that.
Something zone.
Chaff?
Chaff?
Chad.
Chad.
Chaz.
Chaz.
Yeah.
C-H-A-Z?
Yeah, like Chaz Bono.
Yeah. That's what it was. It was like the Chas. Yeah. Yeah, that's it
Fucking mayor got on TV and said maybe it's a summer of love like okay, baby
What and then they boom was either one a booze girl?
Oh, and then the guy from Portland was trying to join in the oh, yeah, they lit his house on fire
They fucking
They said you have to resign everybody. This is a comedy
Yeah, cuz he tried to go along with them and then he's like, you know what? This is bullshit. We need cops. Yeah
Oh, yeah. Oh now, you know, you didn't know before you needed cops. You're the fucking mayor. Holy shit
Not good kids. Well, we'll see if I can change my flight.
I'll come back. Change your fucking flight.
God damn it, Colin Quinn.
What's up, Boston? I got to practice.
Well, there it is. Twenty twenty four seconds.
This is amazing. Yeah.
It is amazing. I love the set, too. It's fucking perfect. Yeah.
That's just that's the you know those gigs. They have the ass. Oh man
You know what is this on is this on Netflix YouTube YouTube beautiful?
It's out right now. Yeah, it says what is it called Colin Quinn our time is up our time
Now therapists always go our time is up BAM beautiful
That's where is a good name name or should I have called it?
No, it's perfect.
I was going to call it 50 Minute Hour.
They say that about therapy, too.
That's not bad.
This guy's a therapist.
You believe it?
Yeah.
Is that guy a therapist?
These guys are all therapists.
Really?
Yeah.
I don't know why they have to blur out my sneakers.
Why do they blur out your sneakers?
Is it a brand?
For real?
I don't know.
Who blurred it out?
You saw that, too, right?
Yeah.
Who blurred it out?
That's ridiculous. What? It looks like something's blurred out. It's not a sneakers. It's something at that part of the oh, maybe it's the lighting or something
Makes it more weird to blur it out. That's weird. Ah, baby. It'll be good Colin Quinn. You're the fucking man
You do that's yeah, it is the light. It's still the way the light is shining. I like the
Blurred oh looks like it's blurry. It's just the box the speaker. Oh, it's not blurry.
Oh, it looks like it's blurry.
It's just the box.
It's just the monitor.
Thanks.
Well, I'll probably see you tonight.
Hopefully.
Please come.
If you guys can do it, I'll do it.
We'll make it happen.
We'll make it happen.
Maybe.
Tell everybody where they can find everything.
YouTube.
You can find me on YouTube.
That's it.
ColinQuinn.com or YouTube. That's a common comma YouTube
What is your Instagram? Um, I am Colin Quinn. Okay, beautiful. Thank you brother. Appreciate you. Thank you Thank you. Very fun always bye