The Tim Dillon Show - 373 - The Sugar Algorithm
Episode Date: December 9, 2023Tim examines Hunter Biden’s expenses, a new McDonald’s concept restaurant, parents’ involvement in their kid’s lives and the bound of irony. American Royalty Tour 🎟 https://www.timdillonco...medy.com/ SPONSORS Shipstation Get a 60-day free trial at https://www.shipstation.com/timdillon HelloFresh Go to HelloFresh.com & use code ‘timdfree’ for free breakfast for life Gametime Get The Gametime App & Use Code: 'TIM' Express VPN EXPRESSVPN.com/TimDillon Blue Chew BlueChew.com & Use Code: 'TD' ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Bill and show. It is, uh, we are deep into the holiday season here.
Um, and it's the holidays everywhere, even in places where things aren't going well. So we have our
tree. We have a beautiful tree with great ornaments, uh, to celebrate this very special and momentous time.
It is even the holidays for Hunter Biden,
who are the president's son in the unending persecution of artists in America. They're
trying to get him on nine counts of tax evasion.
This guy's got to remember to not smoke crack,
not fuck cookers, not leave blow in the White House.
And pay your taxes?
It seems a little lofty of an ideal
to hold a human being to that standard.
There are so many things this guy has to remember
when he wakes up.
Don't call anyone I've ever met.
Don't reach out to any of the X's.
Don't call my brother's X,
who's my dead brother's X, don't fuck her.
Don't do that again.
Don't commit a federal drug crime don't commit a
felony he's got a lot on his plate and he's an artist okay and many of you
don't relate to that because you are not artists. But he's an artist. Hunter Biden
sees the world, the imperfections, the terrible things, and he wants to make them into something
beautiful for you. That's what artists do. What's interesting about this is you know Gavin Newsom that snake had this done because
he wants to be the president.
So he directed his cronies in California to charge Hunter Biden, recovering addict artist
father, right?
Yeah. covering addict artist father, right? See how I think father, recovering addict artist father, son of our president, who's
very present and in the moment and not at all dead are president.
And it's this is a beautiful family that is now being attacked by the silver tongue,
although not so silver tongue in that debate with DeSantis
Let's be honest Gavin got a little cocky and kind of kind of shit the bed
But I can't believe that they got this guy on
Tax evasion
Hunter Biden was indicted on nine tax charges in California as a special council investigation into the business
dealings of President Joe Biden's son intensifies against a backdrop of the 2024 election.
They cannot get Biden to quit.
This is the thing.
He won't quite don't know if it's him.
There won't quit.
Maybe it is him.
Every poll that is being released is basically like, you cannot run.
You cannot walk.
You can't do it.
You're going to lose your putting us at a big disadvantage in the general election.
They have him matched up against Trump, anyone to Santa dead people, Biden always comes
out the loser by like 10 points.
So now I think they've basically, now they're going to basically see like, well, let's see
how much we can leak on his son because this guy won't leave.
I don't know why he won't leave.
What did he do?
What did this guy?
What are they afraid of the next person finding?
This is the only thing I've cooked up in my own head and I may not be correct.
What are they afraid of?
Why will he not leave?
What do they not of? Why will he not leave? What do they not want the next person stumbling
upon? Why would he even want this gig? Why do you even want the job? So now Hunter is
the only son he has left. Three felony six misdemeanors in addition to federal firearms charges
in Delaware, alleging Hunter Biden broke laws against drug users having guns in 2018.
Why shouldn't the drug user have guns? Delaware, they need them. Drug users need the more than
regular people. They come after the implosion
of a plea deal over the summer that would have spared him jail time, putting the case
on track to a possible trial as his father campaigns for reelection. Well, there it is.
Biden's campaigning for reelection, the Hunter Biden trial. He spent millions of dollars on an extravagant lifestyle rather than paying his tax bills.
Yeah.
So what?
They say he owes 1.4 million in taxes because between 2016 and 2019, he wasn't paying
his taxes. He was smoking crack.
But the back taxes have since been paid.
So I don't understand what the problem is.
If convicted, he could face a maximum of 17 years in prison.
Based on the facts of the law,
if Hunter's last name was anything other than Biden, the
charges and tell where in California would not have been brought, Lowell said.
Here's a thing.
I would almost argue the opposite.
It's like nobody's had more leniency kind of than this guy.
Think about this.
This guy is the son of the president. He has videos of himself smoking crack and holding guns
to escort heads. We're kind of chill about this. We've been pretty chill about it. You know,
like everybody's kind of been chill. It hasn't been like, like obviously the Republicans have, you know, been like,
hey man, you suppressed that story, the laptop, which they did.
It's a fact they didn't want that story out.
But people have been kind of chill here about the content, which is like, this guy was
wild.
Like, I'm sure Roger Clinton was wild, Bill Clinton's brother
and Neil Bush. But we just don't have photo and video evidence of every fucked up thing
they've ever done. With this guy, I mean, you can see him smoking crack guns to the heads
of hookers.
Can we get any of that up that we can play
without it being a problem?
Some of us have been scrubbed, I can find some.
What's interesting about it is people are like,
well, he's being attacked because his name is Biden.
It's like, no, no, no one could do that.
If my aunt found my uncle's laptop
and he had even one of the videos that Hunter Biden had
his whole life would be ruined.
Can you imagine that if anyone found think to yourself, you have a laptop, maybe in,
I don't know, your spare room, your wife finds it, your husband, your significant other, your kids.
They find a laptop on the laptop is photos and videos of you smoking crack with hookers
in the Ukraine.
Anyone, anyone's life would have been ruined.
This guy's doing well. He's painting. He lived in
Malibu up until recently. Maybe still does. This guy's doing great. There's no way my uncle
could have a laptop with photos and videos of him doing the things Hunter Biden did and
end up in Malibu. No way! No way! No one! No one! If you recorded every bad thing you've ever done, fucking hookers, guns to their head,
lines of coke, cooking crack, if you recorded every single thing you've ever done, your
life would be ruined over.
Your wife would divorce you. She would take everything.
The judge would be like, buddy, what the fuck?
You'd go with no rehab.
You could potentially be charged with something I don't know.
Documents, text and videos obtained by Daily Mail.
Show Hunter Biden spent a staggering 30,000 on escorts in a five month period.
By the way, 30,000 in five months, you can do that.
That's not that stagger.
I mean, it's wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait $1,000 on escorts in five months and recorded the entire thing.
And then your wife found it.
You would be DOA dead.
He's doing pretty good.
He's still at the White House.
They still let him in the White House.
He still gets to stand on the balcony.
He's probably still leaving cocaine in the White House.
He had an arch. He didn't the hunter Biden have like a show of his work.
Yeah, he was here in Soho.
Yeah, he had a show of his work in Soho.
This is not a guy who's like a hopeless guy.
People will, well, it's he's being persecuted because of his name.
No, no, no, no, no, it's his name,
which is the reason that the guy can live in Malibu
and have art shows and so-ho.
No regular human being can spend 800
and 72,000 on prostitutes, porn and sex club memberships.
Take 1.6 million from ATMs.
By the way, it's a job as father got them in the burisma, fucking around in
the Ukraine. That's how he has all this money. He's a lawyer. Lawyers don't have any money
anymore. By the way, anyone listening to this thinking about becoming a lawyer, when
you graduate law school, now you're, you're in povrished for like 15 years. You can't
make any, there's like 20 lawyers that have any money. It's not a
lucrative thing anymore. Doctors, same thing. You talked to the big
real estate agents, you go, who did you represent 20, 30 years
ago? They go, it was doctors lawyer. They go, now I don't have one
doctor, one lawyer. They can't afford shit. It's all tech,
finance, creative people on a very high level and athletes,
lawyers and doctors are out.
This guy's a lawyer.
How the fuck's he taken 1.6 out of an ATM?
It's because he had a fucking job
where there was a slush fund,
which he used for hookers and blood.
And by the way,
I'm not even moralizing about any of that.
I've had my own problems. I'm not more than I'm not saying that this guy should be condemned.
I'm saying he's getting less than what a normal person would get. I sat in AA for years.
I still do occasionally. It's not anonymous when it's my program. I keep other
people's anonymity. I don't give a shit whether you know what I'm in or not. I don't go
it enough. I should go more, but I've heard stories of how people's lives get wrecked when
they do what he's done. I've lived them, right? I lost a house. My credit got shredded.
I lived with comics on couches and rooms in New York City for years, working shit jobs,
trying to learn how to be funny.
There was no art gallery show and so, oh, there were no high end rehabs.
I didn't live in Malibu.
I wasn't invited to the White House.
That was not part of my sobering up journey.
I had tax problems too.
I had to pay the fucking money.
I had to get a shitty little lawyer that didn't really care who tried their best
and we paid the fucking money back.
I didn't really owe that much money.
He owed a lot more than me,
but this idea that like,
Hunter Biden's had it particularly rough is insane.
That's insane.
It's crazy.
He's not had it particularly rough.
I know tons of addicts whose entire lives,
and they didn't do a fraction what he did.
I know people who lost their entire lives
because they drank too much one night and got in a car
and got pulled over, didn't hurt anyone, didn't kill anyone.
Didn't have, you know, 200 videos of Ukrainian human
trafficking victims, fucking them with a gun to their head.
They just made a left when they shouldn't have, they got pulled over, they lost their car, they lost their job. They
had to pay restitution. They didn't have the money for it. It took them years to get
their lives back years. So this idea that the Democrats are going to be like, well, it's
actually hunter is paying a price
that other people don't pay.
He's paying far less of a price than any drug addict ever that's been caught with anything.
And no matter what you believe, political, I don't care if you love Joe Biden and hate
Donald Trump, you have to agree.
If you're a rational person that hunter Biden is not paying the price that other people have paid.
How many drug addicts, by the way, are in Malibu with an art show and so,
and I mean, this is wild. So hunters four years of wild spending. He went nuts spending money.
he went nuts spending money. ATMs 1.6.
2016, he withdrew 200,000.
This is, by the way, a lesson in progressive drug use as well, how it gets worse.
2016, 200 grand.
2016 is probably not that bad.
He's smoking crack occasionally, couple of lines
of the powdered cocaine. It's okay. Things aren't great, but it could be worse. 2017
503,000 out of an ATM. Now he's not taking this money out to tip thalais. Understand this money goes right to dealer.
I know I was a drug addict for many years.
That's why when I'm talking about him,
I'm not condemning the act of using drugs.
I'm condemning this idea that he's had it
particularly rough, he hasn't.
500,000 to 2017.
2018, things get a little unmanageable.
770,000 dollars at an ATM or cash withdrawal where he shows up
sniffling at a bank and goes,
I gotta take some money.
I need some money now.
And he goes and he's got a nice suit
because he spent a lot of money on clothes. That's the next thing coming up. Clothing and accessories, he spent a total over
this and this. So the last year is 772,548, the exact same amount of money. So that's where
he maxed out. That's where he was going to tell you was doing it about eight hundred thousand dollars worth of crack a year around that and hookers hookers and crack at eight hundred thousand
of hookers and crack.
That was his budge.
That was the budget in 2019.
You're telling me you spend eight hundred thousand on hookers and crack two years in a row.
You have a art show and so no.
No, and nobody I know. No one you know, but I'm talking about celebrities.
I'm talking about a lot of people. I'm not just talking about broke people or middle class
people. I'm talking about like people that I know that have done really, really well if
they behave like that, it would be over, over. There will be no second or third act.
This guy's got the benefit of his second or third act. And the only
and if he is being, which he's not, if this is all political, and that's the only reason
that they're doing this and obviously Newsom maybe involved in it, trying to get him
out. I don't know if he is or not. It doesn't make Newsom look great either, by the way,
to show that this is, you know, he keeps talking about how great Biden is.
This is his son.
If he is being, if any of this is politically motivated, it's because his dad won't just
not be the president.
His dad won't just walk away and let someone else run.
So, but I don't think it is.
Like, here's the deal.
He's a known guy.
So he's being prosecuted because they know what he did,
whether it's political or not,
they know what he did.
The crimes are public.
They're out in the open.
He didn't pay the taxes.
So this idea that like, you know,
my favorite one is health beauty and pharmacy. In 2016, he spent 54,000, 2017, he spent
a hundred, 10,000, 2018, 46,000, 2019, less 26,000 on health, beauty, pharmacy, 2019 is like, listen,
no condoms anymore.
The condom budget's done.
We don't need condoms.
Honey, you don't need tweezers and qtips.
It doesn't matter.
No condoms.
That's the only one that goes down is health, beauty and pharmacy.
You don't need claritan.
Get in the car.
Get in the car.
You know, 2016 is really nice about it.
He's like, yeah, go and get, whatever you want.
Get whatever you want.
What do you, what do you need?
You want, oh, I've got all you girls, love your nails.
Go in there and get nail nail polish remover.
Whatever you need, I'll be in the car.
You go in there and get whatever you want.
2019, he knows these words for a while.
He's like, you getting a fucking car, okay?
You know I'm clean.
We don't need a condom.
You know I'm clean.
My father's the fucking gonna be the president.
To that sucks, but we wish, we wish.
What do we wish him?
We wish him well.
Wish him well.
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McDonald's American needs in what I've always said
is where are we?
I always say that as a country girl.
Where are we?
What do we need?
Where are we?
What do we need? These are the things that keep me up at night. I go, where are we? What do we need? Where are we? What do we need?
These are the things that keep me up at night.
I go, where are we?
What do we need?
And you know what we need?
We need more McDonald's.
That's our medicine.
We need more McDonald's.
The prescription for what this country needs is more McDonald's in a slightly
different because look at what McDonald's has done.
It's a legendary concept originating. We're all good things doing California, where you can
get cheeseburgers for almost nothing whenever you want.
That's what McDonald's is.
It's other things.
Yes, it's grimace and the hamburger.
It's fun.
They have the play place.
The Macrittle's nice.
But it's the beginning of fast food, the idea and the concept that someone somewhere is going to hand you a hot cheeseburger
through a window immediately, pretty much whenever you want.
That is one of the most revolutionary concepts in American history.
You may think we've abused that concept, and there's certainly some evidence.
I've abused it.
I know my friends have abused it.
But that is what McDonald's is.
McDonald's is now launching a new concept.
It's being launched in bowling brook or bowling brook Illinois bowling brook Illinois.
It's called Cosmix, COSMCs.
It's not open yet.
There was a team full of actors in the drive through filling a filming, a commercial.
So the menu is up and I was able to snap a few picks from afar.
It's a mix of a lot of new drink offerings and an all day breakfast menu of new items.
So here's what McDonald's is realized. They look at Starbucks and they go Starbucks is killing people with drinks.
It's much easier. Look, look at any Starbucks. There's not a lot of people working in a Starbucks.
It's a pretty pair down concept. You can kill a good amount of people. It's a real genocide with
frappuccinos in there. You can kill them easily. You need a blender, some syrup,
some ice, and a lid. That's it. You don't need grills and onions and cheese
burgers. You don't need hash browns, you don't need little apple slices to pretend to give
to the kids and all that bullshit.
You don't need characters and you don't need all you need.
You don't need a fry cook.
All you need is a couple marginally intelligent,
reasonably desperate people to work their all day,
manning the, their old versions of a slushie,
the, the maligned thing that we all hated at 7-11, and we all made fun of because it is
heinous. The Quikimart slushie from the Simpsons, the, the just cold slush in your, is what a Frappuccino is. Now, of course, it tastes better. It's got caffeine,
it's coffee, it's sugar. But that's what Starbucks does. You know, yes, they do coffee, they
do other things. Well, what about the panini? Yeah, sure, sure. But what they do is every
month of Starbucks, they have a new way to kill you.
They have a caramel macchiato with toasted coconut.
They have a mocha crumbly.
They have it.
It's a milkshake.
So all it is.
And they have holiday.
They have a caramel brulee, peppermint, mocha, you know, and what these things do is they're
addictive.
You ever had a Frappuccino?
I have.
You drive through the third sip.
I'm gonna get one after this.
Just hearing myself talk about it.
The third sip or fourth sip of a Frappuccino, your eyes open, your,
your headache.
If you have a tiny little headache, it goes away. You
make that right turn onto the fucking, uh, you know, onto the service road or the parkway
or the highway. And you are doing good. And you put it in the cup holder and maybe there's
a song that Mariah, I don't want to.. And you were just, you are riding the horse of sugar
and it tastes good.
And now I used to do what little perca doodle do.
I'd have a perca sad and you put a marburemental
like your mouth or a new port or a marburelite.
Oh Lord Jesus.
Oh Lord. And then the shit that would just gather in your stomach
that you would take in the office. And you would spend the first 10 minutes in the office
shitting that glorious, percuss at Starbucks cigarette. Shit. Now, when you have, when
you have an office job, these are the small, lovely pleasantries we talked about a couple episodes back.
So what McDonald's is realized, because all these executives sit around and they basically
go, how do we kill people? How do we kill them? How do we do it? How do we kill people?
And people, the McDonald's goes, you know, they're coming after red meat. Yeah, they don't
like that. They're saying that the cows farting is killing the ozone layer. Everybody's getting skin cancer.
The waters are going to rise going to be a real day after tomorrow situation.
You know, Miami, Manhattan, all these places flooded.
California's on fire.
Not good.
We don't like it.
Not good.
So they go, we got to figure out how to transition out of red meat.
This is what McDonald's, I truly believe they thought like this,
because they're smart.
They're not dumb.
They're smart.
And they go, how do we kill people?
Make that big.
This is how you kill people.
This is how you kill people with a chiro frappe.
Chiro frappe.
Smores cold brew.
This is how you kill people.
This is how you kill people in a world
that is turned against red meat.
We've turned against a cheeseburger.
Red meat is a symbol of the paint truck.
You don't give a shit about anything.
I bet you hit trans people with a stick.
So the chiro frappe comes.
The smores cold brew.
Can you imagine that?
The sour cherry energy burst for the minorities.
There's got to be something for them,
but there's nothing wrong with it.
Tropical, what does that say?
Spice aid looks a little like spick aid,
but that's theirs.
That's what they, it's spice aid. Blueberry ginger burst
for the people who are like, I just need a little cleansing today. Black berry mint green
tea. Island picked me up punch. Ooh. Bury abysca sour aid. pair slush popping pair slush sour tango lemonade.
Chai frappe burst to Merrick spice like. So now what they'll do, they do this.
And then they also have like a green tea. It's just like McDonald's has to salad.
Here's how you kill people. And by the way, if you don't think I'm going to, uh, bowling brookal annoying in like a day, you're crazy because I,
this does look phenomenal. Now, but this is, they are trying to kill you.
And then knowing that is okay, because everybody hates cynicism.
Conan O'Brien, who I think is a brilliant comedian who I respect and love.
And everything he's done, I love.
But he said one day, there's one moment
I had a little disagreement with him,
but he is such an iconic, legendary guy
that you just, everything he says, he goes,
yeah, I bet he, parts of what he's saying, I understand,
where he goes, I hate cynicism.
It's my least favorite emotion
when it doesn't produce anything good.
I understand what he's saying and where he's coming from, but I've always
valued a little bit of cynicism and I'll tell you why it can keep you alive and
it can keep you, um, it can keep you from getting in trouble.
Too much delusion isn't good.
Um, ascribing motives to people that are positive isn't good.
Oh, you don't know why someone's trying to help you.
You don't know why.
It could be because they're a lovely, amazing person.
And they just get off on helping people.
It might be because they like the position that they're
in versus the one that you're in.
They might like that dynamic of being kind of above you.
They might want to control you.
There's all kinds of reasons.
And I'm not saying you shouldn't take help
or you should be overly paranoid,
but like, especially when it comes to American corporations,
I think maybe a little bit of citizen
when it comes to narratives about war and peace,
a little bit of citizen when a new credit card
line is launched where they got it's no money to no interest. You're the winner. You know,
27 months, no payment, like be a little cynical about these things. Um, so when McDonald's
goes, we're going to open this new concept. Be a little cynical. They're trying
to kill you. They have something called mick pops, the little donuts filled with peanut
butter and Nutella. They have a spicy queso sandwich, creamy avocado, tomatillo sandwich,
pencil bites, egg mick muffins, mick flurries, caramel fudge brownie sundays cookies caramel fudge brownie the twist cone, savory hash brown bites, but make no mistake, the star of the menu will be the drinks.
That is what they want.
They're trying to kill you now primarily with liquid.
It is easier.
They can make it easier.
It's cheaper.
It gets you addicted.
You're addicted and you go fuck it.
I want a smore's cold brew.
That's how I want to start my day with a churro frappe.
And when they come out with the nutrition information and what's in this. Make no mistake. These will be, it will be a cup of poison.
It will be sugar. Do they have any of it? I'm looking for it right now. Let's see if we
can find any of it. You want to see the churro one first? Let's see the churro frappe first. What is the churro frappe working with in terms of?
610 calories.
Only 610 calories for a drink.
610 calories and a churro frappe.
Do we have the breakdown of sugar?
Not yet.
It's proprietary.
They're not going to give out ingredients. Yeah, they're not going to write. Okay. Not yet. It's proprietary.
They're not going to give out ingredients.
Yeah, they're not going to write.
Okay.
So, this is the new, by the way,
it represents a shift, fast food
over the next months, weeks, years
is going to move away from red meat.
They're going to move away into things that feel
healthy that are not. This is what's going to happen. McDonald's is the most powerful
and biggest company. The fact that they're doing a drink restaurant shows you that the
future is probably going to be in things like that. They can kill you in many different ways. They don't need to kill
you the way they've always killed you. They can end your life slowly in many different ways.
And the way that they're going to do it is by opening a Starbucks for people that film fight
videos after school because that's who goes to McDonald, a lot of people. McDonald's knows where their locations are.
Yes, some of them are in the suburbs.
Some of them are in the city, the interstate,
and what are you gonna drink when a bitch pops off
to another bitch and they start beating each other
and 30 kids with iPhones are filming it.
You know what you're gonna drink?
A popping pair of sludge.
are filming it, you know what you're gonna drink? A popping pair of sludge.
As they wipe the blood off the floor
of the Bronx Grand Concourse McDonald's,
you are gonna hear the slurp of a churro frappe
being finished at Cosmix.
When the bloody floor of a Cosmix is being cleaned with ammonia by an immigrant who doesn't speak
English, someone will have a cold brew, smores, and you'll hear the clink of the ice.
This is marketed to people that just want to get high.
It's about getting high.
And McDonald's is like, we just need to run these.
Do we have any art or any renderings of what these will look like inside?
Where will people drink the sour cherry energy burst or the tropical spice aid?
Where will they drink that?
When you are typing free Palestine onto X, you will be drinking a tropical spice aid.
No insides yet. Just no insides yet. Blue and yellow, very interesting. So this is coming.
This is coming. It's sonic. It looks like sonic. Well, what they're trying to do is they're trying to move away from what they've made their money doing, which is beef
and red meat. And they know that the people that are still into red meat are, are, are
people that are going, oh, it's as benefits keto, carnivore, whatever. Obviously poor people silly burgers,
but it's that vast middle people that don't have enough money for a ribeye that's grass
fed and they're not totally fucked with. They're just eating white castle. It's that vast
middle class that they're the ones we try everything out on. They're the ones we go.
We yell at them all the time, you don't use too much toilet paper. How long are you in the shower for? It's the middle of the rich do whatever they want and the
poor just try to survive. The middle class, they're the ones we try out all our shit on.
Every guilt trip gets delivered directly to the doors of the middle class, usually by the rich.
They go, this is what you should care about. You mouth breather. So the middle
class right now, they're being beaten down by Don't Eat Red Meat, Red Meat's bad climate
change, red meat, climate change, boom, boom, boom, it's every article, every article that
the time just putting out the New Yorker, even the journal, Wall Street, all of these publications
are putting out the idea that red meat draw line to climate change draw line to world flooded in dead
That burger draw line to your mouth and
Rich people think of a shit. They got my they own all the shit. That's poison the planet
They don't care and poor people are like I have three dollars. What do you want me to do?
I have three dollars. I got to eat. I got an eight hours shift. I've been broke
I was a tour guy to New York City when got off, I dollar pizza. I had no money.
What was I going to do? Have a wild caught salmon for 38 dollars?
It's stuck. It happened. You don't have a lot of time. When you're poor, you're broke. Here's the hot thing
that's cheap for you. So what McDonald's is smartly realizing is that this middle class that they still
have to try to lure into their restaurants.
They have to lure the middle class into their restaurants, along with the lower class.
That's why they have the, you know, all the tropical spicy, I mean, that's being aimed
to people that don't have a lot of money.
And then they have the blueberry green tea.
This is green tea.
Habescus.
This is the Habescus.
Cream tea.
You know, they have all of those things because those things are aimed and targeted at
kind of the little white woman who's having a habit.
And I went to Cosmics, I have my habit,
I have my habit, Blueberry, Greene T.
And man, I wish Hamas would just time you to a tree.
I think about just a couple of Arab men
time you to the back of a truck.
I just sit there with my Episcopalty
and I sexualize monster terrorists
because I'm bored.
And that's what, you know, this is what Cosmix,
Cosm C's gonna do.
But it does represent kind of that significant shift in what fast
food has to do because this is they have to lure you in. They have to hit you over the
head. And Americans, you know, it's the, it's that old adage, right? It's like the rich
to poor kind of get away, but it's the middle class that we, we experiment. It's an experiment.
Feeding people sugar like this is an experiment.
And we're going to experiment on the lab rats and the American suburbs.
That's why this is happening in bowling, brook Illinois.
We go, this isn't happening in Malibu.
They're not doing this on park avenue in Manhattan.
They're doing it in Bowling,
but Illinois, they're like, when you get off work at the plant,
whatever plants even left, or you're on your way to be a fifth grade
teacher, you want to stop at Cosmix and get a chore of frappe to just give
yourself the buzz, the sugar high to stare at these children and get through
the day. That's really what it comes down to. You know, I, everyone's going to, I went
to an event the other night at Broadway show. So good to get out there and see live stuff.
Concerts, sporting events, comedy shows, Broadway shows, theater, you just want to get out
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bluetrue.com TD. I want to talk about this drug dealer that Trump let out. They released
under Trump. They charged him on an assault on teenager.
A drug dealer who was released under former president Donald Trump's sweeping criminal
justice reform has been charged with first degree assault of a teenager. William Dredin
was indicted along with his wife Tiffany Harrison in connection with their alleged involvement
in assault outside of Baltimore high school. Uh oh. Authority said that the couple accompanied their 15 year old son
to the Carver vocational technical high school on October 27th and allegedly joined their
son in the assault of another teenager during which their son pistol with the victim.
Well, listen, do you want parents to be involved in their kids' lives or not?
Do you want people invested in what their kids are doing or not? Yes or yes. If I'm going
to piss to whip someone at my high school and my father and mother come with me and attack
that person, that's a family memory. I'll have for the rest of my life.
I don't know what's going on in these inner city schools. We always hear about them. There's issues I imagine. But I'll tell you this, everyone always says the parents are not involved. This
is what we hear all the time. The parents are MIA. They're not around. The kids are running around doing all their own stuff.
Well, here is a situation where a father and a mother decide to go to the school with
their son to pissle up someone.
And you know what?
I think it's nice.
I think it's actually good.
I think it's pretty fucking nice that a couple of weeks before Christmas, someone at Trump
let out of jail with his wife goes to support their son in a pistol whipping. I think it's
nice. He secured early release from federal prison for isn't this good letting everyone
out of jail? I think it's great. It seems to be working well. This no bail seems to be
working well. Will you commit a crime
and they ask you nicely not to again? It seems what it seems great. It seems like it's
a good idea to just let everyone out of jail. I don't know. I don't know.
Dredin and Harrison each face 15 charges, including first degree assault, reckless endangerment,
and use of a fire, fire arm in the commission of a crime of violence.
Record show that Dredin had secured early release from federal prison 14 months before the
October incident after making a claim under the first step act, which was most important criminal
justice reform legislation passed in a decade. Baltimore police told Newsweek that Treadnett previously been arrested multiple times for
a drug-related charges.
Treadn's criminal history is first reported by Baltimore TV.
The bipartisan legislation which aimed to cut unnecessarily long federal senses and improve
conditions of federal prisons was widely supported by both Democrats and Republicans.
Lovely.
Although Trump ran a tough on crime campaign when he was elected
to the White House in 2060, here's the problem. So here's what it is. Here's what it is.
We all think it's unfair that people that sold drugs have to spend their entire lives in
prison. We all pretty much think that nonviolent drug offenders end up fucked with these, you know, federal mandatory minimum
sentences, Rockefeller drug laws in New York, in an example, you know, these are not great.
However, not everyone, and I'm gonna, and I'm gonna, you know, people aren't gonna love
this.
People aren't gonna love this because this is not nice to hear.
Are you ready for this?
Get ready. Listen closely. Listen closely. Pull over. Pull into cosmetics. Get your frappe.
Get ready for this. Not all non drug, violent drug offenders are going to be non violent.
I know. Bummer. Bummer. Not all nonviolent drug offenders are gonna be nervous.
It's just what it is.
It's what it is.
Some of them will be some of them are.
Some of them are lovely and great and they got caught up and whatever.
But some of them are gonna piss to whip a 15 year old at school.
I don't know.
I don't know.
What, you know, part of freedom is going to what you're
signing the Pista whip, the kid at school, I guess.
And, you know, I guess, you know, you're going to get arrested for that.
But, you know, a lot of this criminal justice reform, like let's make the
prison safer and nicer and it's all needed.
We need better prisons and that rehabilitate people and don't just throw them
into these boxes,
you know, all these COs just start fight clubs with the people, which is a decent way to
stay in shape.
You know, fighting is now more mainstream and everybody loves it.
So I don't know why they are always, you know, everybody's always like, they started
a fight club.
It's like, wow, that's, you know, it's, uh, uh, but here's my point.
My point is this, there should be more rehabilitative, you know, programs in
prison, people come out of prison, you don't know what to do. But this is also going to
happen. You see, if you fling open the gates of prisons and let people out, some of them
are going to go to the school and pistol whip to kids with their children. Now, again,
I don't, this is a, this is a family. That is chosen to act together.
That's not nothing. This is kind of nice.
We always hear about the inner cities that the families are not together.
I'm not making that up. This is what we hear.
I don't, I'm not involved, by the way.
So don't come at me and be like, this is coded race. It's not. It's not.
I, I hear that there are issues in
the inner cities with the families not being together. I hear it. I'm not experiencing
it. This is not the case. This is in the case. This is a father and mother who love their
child enough to go to jail for him. But because they pistol whipped a 15 year old and Donald Trump let them out of jail to
appear for whatever reason.
I don't know.
Donald Trump what trying to secure the rapper vote, I guess.
I don't know.
He had some of it already and cultured a lot of his people that really love them.
We're like, what are you doing here?
What is this?
Why is this happening?
But, you know,
here's a deal.
In a bubble, this is kind of fine.
If it wasn't the prevailing attitude
of all the inner cities to just fling up
and jail cells and let everybody out.
If there was a way to look at this in a bubble,
and you go, yeah, this shit happens.
This is a perfect shit happened story.
And the people that are pro, the reforms will say shit happens.
It's amazing what isn't isn't shit happens, by the way.
If a girl at college is sexually assaulted by a white guy, it's not shit happens.
It is a or wellian structure that is oppressed and debuts.
There's all of that.
But if something like this happens, it's not shit happens.
This is, you know, I'm sorry, this one would be shit happen.
This one would be like, well, hey, you know, people,
they have a bad morning.
Some of them have a bad morning and they just pistol whip
their son's enemy at school. So it really just depends. the bad morning. Some of them have a bad morning and they just pistol whip their sons enemy
at school. So it really just depends. It's both sides do it. Republicans do shit happens.
Democrats do shit happens. Part of our country is deciding what isn't, what isn't isn't
shit happens. That's part of the coal country. That's part of the entire thing. Is it shit happens
when this happens or is it you made that shit happen or shit is happening for a reason
that you could potentially change, fix, alleviate this burden somehow. And I'm no expert
on any of this stuff. It is just, it is interesting
because this is what everybody believes. Now I go out with people, I talk to people, I
chat with people, we all talk and they go, it's the criminal justice system in America's
corrupt. It's unfair. Those things aren't untrue. And it's certainly been cruel to African Americans, certainly been cruel to inner city, certainly
it is a, all of that is true.
No one's denying that.
The problem then becomes how do you fix it without destroying public safety?
That's, that's the issue.
It's not easy.
It's not an easy thing to do.
How do you fix it without people
pissing with being 15 year olds at the school?
Which again, I don't know if I'm against or four.
I don't know what they did.
I'm just saying that's the concern.
How do you fix it without destroying public safety?
They didn't, it doesn't seem to be working in San Fran.
It's not really working in LA.
More home invasions now than there have been.
Good, any party at a Christmas party in LA.
People just, you know, they come in, they tell, oh, how some
my block was robbed.
You know, guy got followed home.
I got a, got a gun to that.
Not nobody in LA is that creative to make this stuff up.
By the way, if they did, the shows would be better nobody in LA is that creative to make this stuff up by the way.
If they did, the shows would be better.
They're not that creative.
This actually happened.
You can hear what's going on in an area by just talking to people.
It's no conspiracy, no agenda.
These are all liberals, by the way.
They're Los Angeles liberals in the entertainment business.
None of them follow it up, by the way, with we need harsher penalty,
cause they're too dumb,
they don't even understand what's going on.
They just tell you what they see.
My friend got followed,
oh, they're gunning his head.
They took his Lamborghini,
and then some of them now started to go,
yeah, maybe we need a,
maybe people need to go to jail a little bit.
But, you know, this idea that you can just let everybody out might not work.
Nobody is willing to admit, this is my favorite thing about politicians.
They're all certain of the, of the results of everything they do.
None of them go, yeah, we don't know.
We don't know.
None of them.
Everybody goes, this will reduce that.
No one has the foresight to go, yeah, we don't,
it'd be a mixed bag out there.
Be a mixed bag out there if we let everybody out.
Some people live lovely lives, very productive lives
and a few people will pestle with kids at school.
We don't know, we don't know.
You can't sell that to people, you couldn't sell that to people.
You can't, so you just have to go,
you know, you have to go,
well, this will reduce the unfair treatment date.
You know, and you go, okay, well, people go,
yeah, yeah, that sounds good.
I don't want people treated unfairly.
And then the flip side of that is,
oh, you said maybe you're tied up in a house. Some of those people that support a lot of
this stuff are, and it is kind of funny to be tied up in Bel Air. It's just funny. It's
not not funny. It is human comedy. You support a lot of this stuff. And to be tied up, you
know, you're in a chair in Bel Air and they've tied you up and you're sitting there.
And you were like one of those people all in. You were all in for this. You were all in for letting everybody out and you go, I'm always in for it. It's happening. And then you're tied up in the chair.
There's an element of comedy to that. And I hope the people that are tied up realize that.
that. And I hope the people that are tied up realize that. I hope they can laugh at it.
I hope they can enjoy it for the irony that it is. It is an irony.
Ironies abound. A lot of people were anti-COVID vaccines and then they got COVID and died. Now, maybe the vaccine would not have helped them. I don't know. But there's an irony to that. A little bit.
There's certainly an irony to people that believed it wasn't even real and then it killed
them.
They're in the bed being like, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
And it's a country we can't even appreciate irony anymore.
That's the sad thing.
We can't appreciate irony.
We're all getting too dumb to even know what it is.
And we're all becoming such fundamentalists. There's no irony in Iran, for example, amongst the people that are
all, you know, there's no irony amongst the mullahs. Certainly there's maybe some early irony
in the population, if they can get away with it. But that's what happens when you become
a fundamentalist country. You know, you basically don't understand irony.
You don't, you don't understand that concept.
But it's got to be ironic to be tied up in a, in a home in LA
while people go ransack through your things.
I mean, there's something funny about that, you know?
Has to be slightly ironic, to be the principal of a school, uh,
who they'd probably supported this reform as, you know, I'm sure there's many good reasons
to support it. And then it father comes in and starts pissing with big kids. It's got to be an irony there. You have to enjoy it. You have to enjoy it a little bit.
You have to enjoy it. Irony should be like, you don't want to poison yourself with it
where you become just this weird freak. A lot of irony poisoning in the mid two thousands
of places like Brooklyn and Echo Park. We get it. Too much of it's I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it.
I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it that I think is nice and it shows that you're not a fundamental psychopath that you can kind of go, well, you know, well, hey, hey, I guess, you
know, I now understand some of those things I didn't understand. I have a little
understanding now, not a great one, you know, you know, it's ironic that, uh, Panera killed someone with, uh, their lemonade recently. And
McDonald's goes, will kill a lot more people. Panera killed someone with this caffeinated
lemonade they have. Some poor guy with a disorder went and he had a couple of these
Panera lemonade and just exploded. He was sitting there in the suburbs and this poor guy exploded.
They face second wrongful death lawsuit over caffeinated charge lemonade. This is the
second person that Panera is taking down with their charge lemonade.
Sad. The lawsuit alleges Panera knew or should have known that charge lemonade could pose
risks, particularly to children, pregnant, breastfeeding women and individual sensitive to
caffeine.
Charge lemonade, which has more caffeine in its large size than 12 ounce red bull and
16 ounce monster energy combined.
Wow.
Has been the center of legal scrutiny.
So I like this.
Panera, by the way, which is a basic bitch soup restaurant is like, we got to get people
suited. We got to get people jacked.
Jacked. The lawsuit filed in Delaware just closed the Browned Order Paneris
charge eliminated at least seven times over the course of two weeks in September and October.
And that was it.
That was the last thing that motherfucker did on this floating rock was get that
charge lemonade from paneras seven motherfucking times.
That's what I mean.
When I say these places are trying to kill you.
I'm not being hyperbolic.
They genuinely are.
But McDonald's is, where is panera will do, you know, a person here and there,
McDonald's is in it for the long haul.
Cause MC is, I don't know if it'll succeed or not,
but it might.
I don't know.
They're in it for the long haul.
You know, so much of me as in closing
has been thinking recently about TikTok
about so much of what I've thought of as I've done this show for many years and
as I've paid attention to culture very closely, I pay attention to the beginning and the end
of things. I pay attention to how things start versus how they finish where they started
Facebook college kids trying to fuck at the beginning. Now people that went to January 6th, sharing casserole recipes, whatever it is.
It's not what it was. We could admit that. You know, Instagram,
in the beginning, look, it's my family. You know, now it's like, you know,
we know what Instagram is. It's like, you know, get the tits out to plastic surgery
on your face with the filters.
Try out the person you'd like to be.
Present the life that isn't yours,
but you'd like people to believe you're having.
We know TikTok started out as a dancing app from China.
We called musically, then it became TikTok,
where people mined the hot songs and they would dance.
They come up with dances.
The dances would go viral.
Now it is a place where people are watching babies and guys
and get pulled out of rubble.
It's, what a journey that has been.
This is why Israel's losing support right now
because it's like you can't kill people every day
all day on a children's dancing app.
If we had TikTok during the surge of Fallujah, people would be like, what are you doing?
Stop doing this.
And then we'd go, no, no, no, you don't understand.
It's a preemptive because if we didn't then you would democracy and a rah and people
go, no, no, no, we don't care.
Well, we just see blood every day.
We see blood in every single day.
And it doesn't work anymore.
You can't kill people in mass on a children's dancing app.
These young kids are looking at it go, what the fuck?
Well, I totally didn'tilio used to just,
we used to just dance?
Why is everybody dead now?
Why is everybody dead?
It's blood.
The whole algorithm is blood now.
It used to be fun.
It used to be the renegade.
Remember, Addison Ray, renegade, renegade.
Now it's just bomb, blood, bomb, blood.
It's a lot.
It's a lot.
But it teaches those kids an important lesson.
That is just the trajectory of any app,
any social media app starts,
Renegade, Renegade, and ends,
Genocide, Genocide, any app, anyone.
They all have their different ways, of course.
You know, Instagram is the genocide of people's self-respect and dignity.
Genes and Facebook is the genocide of their mental capacity.
And TikTok is just just here it is
Here we are
Lot of death
And that's what's interesting about
The journey
From where that app started to where it is now, and I don't know where it goes
I
Don't know where it goes, but I know that it's not going to be the same for the people that have enjoyed it.
It's not going to be the same.
All the families were together and their pajamas doing the dance and everybody's.
And now you're watching carnage from another part of the world and you're seeing up close really terrible tragic scenes.
Every scene is really hostages and tunnels.
You're seeing the murder of civilians in Gaza.
You're seeing all of this stuff on the app now and it's change.
I bet it's, I bet a few kids have been changed by it.
They're a little changed and they're going to go fuck. I bet it's, I bet a few kids have been changed by it.
They're a little changed
and they're gonna go fuck.
And Cosmix is hoping that those kids
sit with a true island pair of lime-aid spice crunch wrap,
latte, whatever the hell they're doing. And and just watch death in the in the
cosmic parking lot. That's the hope. That's the hope. The hope is that we can eventually just take
the two most addictive things, sugar and algorithms and merge them. So you just all you do your entire life is just is
Churro Frappe and Death on TikTok and you just Churro Frappe, Death on TikTok, Death
on TikTok, Death on TikTok, Spice Line made, Death on TikTok, Popping Pear Slush, Hunter
Biden is being treated unfairly, Death on TikTok, Churro hunter Biden is being treated unfairly death on TikTok
Churro from it and and that'll be
That'll be it
That'll be it. That's that's that's what they want those are the two most powerful forces in American life the consumption of drugs and the consumption of media
Drugs being food alcohol pills whatever
The two most powerful forces in the American life are
drugs and media, and they want you consuming them together. Slushy beheading. Churro death.
That's what they want. So with that, we wish you marry, marry holidays, marry, marry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah, if you're celebrating Hanukkah.
Happy Kwanzaa, happy Ramadan.
When is Ramadan?
Who cares?
Happy of it.
Happy everybody.
Happy everybody.
And go and get some, get some, get some, get a nice fried chicken, a churro hot chocolate
or whatever McDonald's
to get come up, but go get that, go get that poison.
Go get that poison and then have a little sneaky,
go watch the TikTok.
I'm really excited about the first thing I'm gonna try
is the churro frappe, but I don't know about you.
You might want the tropical spice, or turmeric spice latte Indians or you might want
to bury a Habiscus sour aid.
I don't know who's drinking the smores cold brew.
If you're drinking the smores cold brew.
Now by the way, how soon is it until you have people walking through the Hamas tunnels
with these?
Now, Israel flooded all the Hamas tunnels and that's unfortunate, but Hamas need to have
these tunnels to get fast food.
So, they would, they want, they want KFC, they want things that can't get in Gaza.
So we know we're living in a truly globalized world.
We'll know it.
Tom Friedman, thank you very much, sir.
We'll know we're living in a truly globalized world
when you see a Hamas guy,
and then there are hostages behind him,
and it's in a dark tunnel,
and on the edge of the desk, you go,
is that a true frappe?
and on the edge of the desk you go,
is that a trofrapay?