The Tim Dillon Show - 379 - Price Of Poison
Episode Date: January 27, 2024Tim talks about chatty private pilots, immigration, boomers bombing the market, hacked brain chips, how expensive Taco Bell is and obese Asians. SPONSORS: Morgan & Morgan: For more information g...o to forthepeople.com/tim Stitch Fix Go to StitchFix.com/TIM for 25% off ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ Subscribe to the channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC4wo... Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/timjdillon/ Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/TimJDillon Listen on Spotify! https://open.spotify.com/show/2gRd1wo... #TheTimDillonShow Merch: https://store.timdilloncomedy.com/ For every $400,000 we gross in revenue, we are donating five dollars to end homelessness in Los Angeles. We are challenging other creators to do the same. #TimGivesBack
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Tim Dillon show.
Great to be here. Fun show last night in San Antonio.
We had to come back here to California to do a podcast
and we're leaving immediately to Dallas
with a good people of Titan Aviation
who have been helping us out and I appreciate that.
I have been flying private recently
and I am sort of developing a problem.
I don't, and here's the thing, and I know this seems, you know,
many of you have not had the experience of flying in a private plane.
And that's not my fault.
To be honest, it's not my fault.
It's not, you know what I mean?
You have things I don't have, okay?
Families, all that good stuff, right?
They're always nice, right? They always work out. But I'm a proponent of family.
I am. Even in the instance when, you know, your kids are running around Arizona killing others.
I still think, I still think a family is good even when you're doing drugs together.
But I've been flying private. My
jet broker, Dirk, takes care of us. But you know, I'm learning lessons about pilot. You
cannot engage these people in conversation. They will never ever stop. Pilots will never
first of all, a friend of mine brought up a good point. They are the truck drivers of
the sky. No one cares
about what pie when they talk when you're sitting in the
plane and they go to speak, you roll your eyes. You can barely
hear them. They try to make like a joke. You go the only time
you ever want to hear from a pilot is when things are getting
funky. When there's turbulence when there's weather, and they
come on to go, Hey, folks, we this will be about another five minutes. Everything's fine
That's the only thing you ever want to hear from a pilot or if you've been sitting in a commercial flight
And you're on the tarmac and you're ready to go and they go hey guys
Just a couple of routine safety checks. We're all clear. We're we're getting out of here, you know
The hold at Logan has been lifted. We're on our way to Boston. That's the only time you want to hear.
But in the private thing, they're right there.
So occasionally, you make the mistake of engaging them.
And I mean, number one, they get out of the seat.
One of them gets out of the seat and comes back
and starts asking you what it's like to be a comedian.
One of them last night, I swear to one of them is out of the seat for a half hour just
talking to us. The other one could have been dead, could have had a stroke and no one would
have known he's in the back of the plane. He's a nice guy and he's chatting and then
he like tells him, I'm not trying to be, I'm not ratting. I'll never say who this is by the way
But
Then he goes hey because you guys like aviation so much which I don't even know that I do
I don't know that I do I asked a few questions about it
I guess most people and this is why rich people become pieces of shit by the way
this is how it happens because you have enough of these experiences and
then you just start giving people the cold shoulder or saying, Hey, hey, hey, man.
Yeah, I don't care.
But I'm trying to thane enthusiasm for, well, what is the, what is the visual
approach?
What, how does that work?
And I do think it's cool.
I think flying's cool.
So I ask a few questions.
I mean, 25 minutes.
And then he goes, then he goes up there,
he comes back again and goes,
because you like aviation so much,
does anyone want to go up front?
I'm like, what? So I'm with a couple of my idiot friends who are tiny or smaller than
me. I'm like, I'm not going up front. I don't want to go up front. I don't like aviation
that much. I don't want to go up front. I don't want my friends up there, ticket photos.
What are my friends hops in the seat and he's sitting in the seat of the jet which is by
the way they encouraged this these pilots income my idiot friend is in the seat and
then they're like do you want to sit in a seat I go I can't fit in the seat and I'm
not going to be killed by my own fat 38,000 feet in the sky. Like my fat hits a button and we're dead now.
And they have to explain that how mortifying that is. Well, he died because he was fat.
Was it a heart attack? No. He was taking a private plane from San Antonio late at night. He got in the...
He got in the co-pilot seat in the cockpit.
His gut touched a button and shut the hydraulics off.
And now we're all dead!
I mean, what I was saying is that,
can you imagine the humiliation of that type of death?
We're in a death spiral?
Because I shut the engines off with my ass.
I'm telling you, it was crazy.
But now I've learned now, you can't speak to them.
If they say anything, I'm gonna learn a few lines
of another language to just say, you know what
I mean?
Like a little Norwegian to just, you know, I mean, it was, it was, it was, it was wild.
We like, we love our people that always hook us up and treat us well.
But it's like, you want to come up front.
I'm like, what?
What?
That's not allowed.
That can't be allowed.
That's brought, there's no way that's allowed, maybe it is allowed.
But I do love a private flight, I do.
I love the little FBO, which is a little private airport.
There's something nice about it, jet people.
There's something nice about the people
that take jets to a Jackson Hole.
We met that lovely older woman who was taking a jet,
going to Jackson Hole to see a- A hockey tournament. Or a hockey tournament in Jackson Hole. We met that lovely older woman who was taking a jet going to Jackson
Hole to see a hockey tournament or a hockey tournament in Jackson Hole and she was just
taking a jet. You know, and just a lovely old woman, lovely old kind of, you know, fun
Trump mom, you know, getting on that plane. Everyone is talking about the border. This is all I hear about now in the news.
This is the border. And all I can say is, well, first of all, my initial thought is don't go.
This is my initial thought. Like, who are these people going to the border all the time? Like,
why are you going? Like, I've never even been. I got gotta be honest with you. I don't even know where it is
Like I don't even know where it is
I know that Doug Stanhope lives near it and the closest I've ever got was Doug Stanhope's house
I have never gone to the border. I don't know where it is
What's the big deal but now I've read about it. There are actually people that live there
There are like towns on the border
Mm-hmm of Mexico and the United States of America.
There are caravans of migrants, large groups of people coming through the Mexican border,
some of them coming from South America, Central America. And there's instability in
some regions there, specifically Ecuador, right? They're popping off in Ecuador. So there's only going to be more,
if you want to call them refugees. I don't know if they are refugees, but some of them are. Some of it is economic migration where people are coming to make a living, to make money. But we
don't have a border really now. We have this area where people are coming and there's nothing to be done.
So now the federal government,
which is our president, Joe Biden,
and is in a war, he's locked in a war
with the state government of Texas.
And I gotta say, I probably support Texas here.
I don't know what the war is. I imagine the war is
the Biden administration is tying Texas's hands. They're not able to enforce the law
and because they're saying federal law supersedes state law
and they're saying that because Texas if you remember is sending out people on
horseback with whips to kind of wrangle you know which by the way is their
culture that is what they do that is what they do this isn't like you know
what I mean like that is what they do. That is what they do. This isn't like, you know what I mean? Like that is what they do. Like I know we think the culture of Texas is supposed
to be like Apple's AI division moving to Austin. Look, we got a green juice. No, they're there.
They wrote Mexicans down there with a horse and a fucking whip. That's what they do. That's why they're a state. They're not a state because Elon Musk moved Tesla to Texas.
They're not a state because my good friend Joe Rogan has a comedy club there.
They are a state because when things get going,
they send out people on horseback to whip the Mexi...
And some of them are Mexican.
Some... There are more Latinos in Texas
than there are whites. There's a lot of Latino- Mexican cowboys wrangling other types of Latinos,
Mexicans and Central America. And that is not my business, nor should it be yours.
That is not my business, nor should it be yours. It seems like it's a cultural thing.
That isn't, you know, it looks on the outside.
It doesn't look great. The optics are bad because no one respects the western way of life anymore.
You understand? Like no one respects, that you know what I mean, the shoe leather,
kind of just, you know, like getting the boots on,
getting on the horse.
People don't rope and ride the way they used to.
People don't, but these are people that are enforcing
the law in the way it has been enforced forever.
Whipping and wrangling. And this is what's going on in Texas.
You have people out there, because the people are coming in illegally and they're breaking
a law. Listen, whether you like it or not, that's what's happening. And then the sheriffs
in Texas or the border patrol, I don't know who these people are.
I don't know who it is, Walker, Texas Ranger.
I don't know, but they're Rangers.
These are real live Texas law enforcement
and they're on horseback and they're doing what they do.
And it looks terrible to people that are living like people in
New York City, they read the New York Times, they open it and they like, so Mike,
do you see what they're doing in Texas? They are whipping the Mexicans in Texas,
they're coming over the board. But this just a way that they they are number one they operate on horseback they do
Now the thing that they're using that
What is it it's a what is it what are they doing there with that? It's a whip, isn't it?
But is it isn't it doesn't it serve another purpose as well? I
Heard Doesn't it serve another purpose as well? I heard this is what they're saying.
Right, now get some of these photos up
because it doesn't look great.
I think they're lassoing the migrants.
I don't think they're whipping them.
They're doing a lasso, which is not easy.
That is a difficult thing to do.
They're on horseback.
Now, remember, the migrants are not just waiting to be lassoed. They're running, they're running around. And you are on horseback with the lasso.
And it's got to be big because much like a cartoon, you are lassoing lots of people. It's not just one person.
Occasionally you'd lasso one person,
or there's maybe a little baby
who goes, you're a little lasso, get him.
You know, get your little toddler runs away from the group,
you go, boom, and that's easier.
But if you're gonna do a big lasso, you know,
it's like, it's not easy.
It's not easy, it's not easy. It's not easy.
It's difficult.
And this is their culture.
What is this, the Rio Grande?
The people coming out of the Rio Grande?
Yes, and these are, they were using the reins.
The reins of the horse.
Yes, they were loosening them out and then, I guess.
And then whipping the migrant.
That's what it looked like, yeah. But they're saying that they weren't whipping the mark, but listen
How else and I'm not saying that we should whip people
But
There's got to be some enforcement of the border
And it is Texas
You get what I mean
I don't know what they can do they're on a horse they could pull out a gun and
shoot the people
No one would like that. No one's gonna be happy with that. YouTube's not even happy, I just said it.
I guarantee you they're not even happy with that.
These freaks in Venice aren't even happy with that, that I said it.
But I'm not.
But what would they do?
They're on a horse.
What are they going to do if the people are coming?
Now there's people that go, you must welcome, like, the humane thing to do.
And there's people that go, you must welcome like the humane thing to do. And there's an argument about, do this humane thing to do would say, welcome here.
You are, this is your new home. Now the problem with that is that they don't have the resources to
do that, all of these states. They don't. and the federal government has made a mess of
Providing resources for these people when they come here in New York City
They're sitting on the street the mayor of New York's like we we don't have the room the space the money
We don't have the resources
So I know everybody wants to say that like these, dozens of migrants are sleeping at Logan Airport in Boston.
There isn't, there aren't resources
to deal with this crisis right now.
And obviously these are human beings.
This is, you know, this is a human tragedy.
They're not like political pawns.
We obviously are funny about the whole situation. That's what we do, but they are human tragedy. They're not like political pawns. We obviously are funny about the whole
situation. That's what we do. But they are human beings. But that being said, there has to be some
process by which people come into this country. This is the reason Trump won his first election.
This is the reason he might win his second election.
Because everybody knows that if you're rich, you're not
affected by it. You're not affected by anything.
You're not affected by anything.
Rich be I've only been rich for a few years.
I was broke my entire life. My family was lower middle class. They
screw they they scratched and clawed to get things my mother
died in a public hospital. And my father, my father has a it's
fine the home, frankly, it's fine. It's nothing to be ever
water view. I like it. It's not terrible. It's fine. It's fine.
I have a water view, I like it. It's not terrible.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Now, and I, it's fine.
Now, so what I'm saying is that when you are rich,
what I have noticed as someone who has a little bit of money
is where I'm really not affected,
like I'm not affected by this.
I don't have kids in school.
I don't have to deal with like my kid
broke his leg playing soccer and now we're not an ER that's
crowded it's crazy and there's I'm not affected by this okay I'm not losing out on work it actually
only helps me as it does many rich people that can just you know get, get they get low wage labor, they are able to hire
landscapers, people come do their nails, people can come and do work on their home.
They can have homes built very quickly and cheaply by people that are not being paid American
wages to do it. So the benefits to the rich of immigration are a ton.
It is actually the middle class and the lower class
that bear the brunt of the negative impacts of immigration.
Those are the people who are more likely to deal
with some of the negative.
They have increased competition for work.
The state and local resources are being drained by just too many people.
They are dealing with, you know, crowded hospitals, crowded schools.
They're potentially dealing with an uptick in crime.
Not to say that all the immigrants are criminals, but there are people that come to this country, they don't have skills, and some of those people inevitably
are going to have to make money, have to make some type of living, um, illegally, like many
of our own citizens make a living illegally. So, you know, it's, it's just a situation
where this is the biggest issue. By the way, we covered on the Patreon,
the Oregon drug stuff, which is also funny too. That's also one of the biggest. I believe
the biggest issue of the next 50 years on planet Earth besides climate change. And by
the way, every prediction I've ever made, I've been correct. Let's be honest. The biggest issue is going to be the mass migration of people from one area to another. That
could be due to political instability, economic conditions, climate change. This
is all the political upheaval in Europe and America is all directly related to this singular issue that countries cannot take an unending stream of
immigrants without some type of backlash from the citizens that live in those countries.
This is a fact. People tend to like their countries. They tend to like the way things are.
That doesn't make them racist, doesn't make them Nazis. They just like familiarity. They like tradition. They like things the
way they are. So the United States has already taken in over 100 million immigrants in the
last, you know, 100 years. There's no other country that's absorbed more people from more
different cultures than the United States of America. But we have a lot of problems.
Everyone knows it.
We've got wealth inequality.
Okay, we've got a small, you know, a concentration of wealth and smaller and
smaller hands.
We have automation and AI disrupting work.
We have a tremendous amount of debt from, from full hearty wars.
We shouldn't have fought.
Um, we're maintaining a very expensive empire all around the world. from full, hearty wars we shouldn't have fought.
We're maintaining a very expensive empire all around the world.
You know, at a certain point,
you have to wonder about the amount of people
that you can just bring in.
This is just a fact.
This is not, I love different cultures.
I come from New York City.
I don't care.
I don't want to live in a white ethno state.
It has no appeal to me. I don't care, I don't want to live in a white ethno state. It has no appeal to me, I don't care.
I think though that you have to do it in a way
that makes people understand the cost-benefit analysis
of what's happening.
People need to understand
the cost benefit of it.
They have to go, yes, there are some potential negatives.
Here are the positives.
That's why it shouldn't be an emotional issue.
It should just be an issue where it's like, you know,
boomers are gonna retire.
This is real.
The boomers are gonna retire.
Now they don't want to.
They don't want to. They don't want to.
And we have some articles we'll talk about later in the show
where the boomers actually don't want the world to continue.
A friend of mine sent me this border thing.
This is so hilarious.
Over Instagram and was basically like what,
and she sent me this article like,
are we gonna have a civil war?
And she goes, what an exciting time to be alive.
They are giddy at the prospect
of the entire American experiment failing
and the civilization going dark.
Boomers are ebullient at that.
They are sitting around pubs and casual restaurants
and they are sitting at country clubs
and they are actually very excited about the prospect of civilization crumbling
because they are at the end of their life.
The boomers never wanted their children to have better lives than they did ever.
The boomers were threatened by their children.
The boomers viewed their children as obstacles to their own success and fulfillment. This is all in the book coming out. I know
you don't think it's coming out. I don't care what you think. It's coming out. It'll
be there in the summer. You read it on a beach. But this is all true. And the more I observe
these boomers, which I have for my entire life, and I'm really keying in on it now,
what I'm noticing is that they're kind of
a death cult. The boomers are a death cult in the way that radical Islam is a death
cult. Radical Islam doesn't really have an interest in anybody existing that isn't a devotee of what they think and what they believe.
Boomers in the exact same way.
They are ready to usher in the apocalypse and they're doing it gleefully.
They're holding on to all the houses and all the money.
You know, we have an article here, 80% of the stock market, 80% of the stock market is owned by elderly people, boomers.
They can sell it and trigger a downturn. Here we go. Your grandma is a downside risk to the
stock market. How more old people owning equities could exacerbate a downturn. The boomers are holding the American economy hostage. They're holding it hostage and they
can at any time flood the market by selling all their stock, taking all the cash. Now,
many people go, well, they're going to take it from medical emergencies. And they're
going to say, they're going to take the cash and whatever they're going to do with it. Okay.
They're going to like fund some nightmarish thing. It's like pinky in the brain with these people
like they're going to take the cash out of the stock market so they can build a laser to zap the world. The way that they are going
on now, refusing to sell these McMansions, they will not downsize. They will not give
up their jobs. Biden will not step aside. He's 80. He's an octogenarian. He's elderly.
He doesn't need. He's foaming at the mouth. He's got dementia and he will not step aside
Who's that bitch that just died in office was it to Feinstein? Mm-hmm. They die in office now these senators in karma one article I read one of the Pentagon by the way prepared a report
This is to go true the Pentagon is prepared a report now one of the threats they talk about bio
Weapons are talking about COVID, it's on Drudge.
This is a new thing they wrote about how like,
you know, here's the threat threats that we anticipate.
Okay, here are the threats that we anticipate coming.
One of the threats, okay, is this is great.
A new study by the Office of the secretary of defense provides a unique window
into the views of military planners and how they see future forms of warfare.
So now we know COVID, we go da da da da da, we got COVID. So here, if you go up, so I love this. Okay.
Additionally, listen to this. Okay. Additionally, listen to this. Okay. Additionally, the authors caution against the possibility
of government employees replacing their natural eye lenses with artificial ones containing
tiny cameras connected to micro storage devices. The small cameras could collect classified
intelligence and leak it to foreign adversaries. Okay, now the reason that they're worried about this,
by the way, go up a little bit here.
They're talking about, in another intriguing scenario,
seemingly inspired by the decline of Senator Dianne Feinstein,
and this time set in a more distant future,
the report suggests that elderly congressional leaders,
desperate to retain power.
This is everything I've ever said.
It's in this report that the Pentagon has now just come out.
The Pentagon is saying the biggest threat
to the body politic, to the survival of our country,
is not climate change.
It's not for all its other issues, immigration.
It is boomers.
Boomers will not relinquish power.
Listen to this.
This is actually really fascinating.
In another intriguing scenario, seemingly inspired
by the decline of Senator Diane Feinstein,
and this time, set in a more distant future.
And by the way, they mean like five years from now.
The report suggests that elderly congressional leaders
desperate to retain power, secretly install
state of the art brain computer interface devices.
These devices, commonly used among wealthy senior citizens
in this scenario, initially help the senators regain
mobility and speech after years of clear cognitive decline.
This, by the way, is the wildest report I have read in a long time.
I read these things that you don't have to.
I sift through them.
I work hard to take these private planes.
You don't think I do.
Many of you don't think I do, but I'm all the time reading these things.
And it's not just something I've read six seconds
before I talk about it.
I peruse, I go over and over and over
and over all these things.
I travel the world talking to people,
I do interviews with people, migrants, terrorists,
Gilbert Goons, I'm all over the world.
I'm over the world, I'm not walking around Beverly Hills
looking at how's I can't afford, I'm in Yemen, I'm in Yemen world. I'm not walking around Beverly Hills looking how's I can't afford
Yemen with the Yemenis and I say look at you you starving Yemeni and I give them a little
You know a little biscuit
These devices commonly used among wealthy senior citizens in this scenario help the senators regain mobility and speech after years of clear cognitive decline However,, when the brain Implants malfunction causing erratic and belligerent behavior
Foreign allies begin to distance themselves from the US damaging national security number one. Is this already happening?
No, one number one. Thank you Pentagon. But by the way, are you trying to tell us something?
This is literally the report where someone keeps giving you gum. They're like, do you want gum? You sure you don't want any gum? No, no, no, it's not your breath. You just look
good chewing gum. You want a mint? The fact that they would leak a report like this, that they
would write a report like this, where they go, hey, our biggest threat is old people that will not
give up their jobs, old boomers who will not give up power.
So much so that these conversations have been had. This is not new. Do you know for this to be
written, you know for a fact somebody has suggested putting a chip in Biden's head that would allow
him to walk out on the debates, throwing footballs, shadowbox, like they want that guy
to have some level of cognitive ability
that convinces people he can run the country.
So the fact that they're coming out and going,
this is actually a threat.
This is actually something that's a genuine threat,
that these people are so power hungry
that they don't wanna leave.
They don't wanna leave.
They will not leave. They will not leave.
They will not retire. They will not go sit by a beach. They're not built to do that.
They are built only to destroy and if they can't, they get very upset. So much so that they will
put chips in their head that will allow them to walk around appearing to be normal
after years of cognitive decline.
So in this scenario, Biden just walks out on the stage with the pep of Gavin
Newsom or a younger guy, and you just have to go, huh, good for him.
Good for him. Good for him. Wow.
He really turned it around.
They're basically almost leaking.
Maybe what'll happen in the debate if he walks out in the debate Wow, he really turned it around. They're basically almost leaking maybe
what'll happen in the debate.
If he walks out in the debate
and he looks like a 40 year old,
like in the way that he's talking and speaking,
know that it's, I thought it was gonna be a cocktail of drugs.
I thought it was gonna be Pfizer.
I thought it was gonna be Moderna or whatever,
you know, whatever pharmaceutical company, Merck. I thought they were gonna whip up a concoction,
but the Pentagon's going,
no, it's gonna be a chip in their head.
That's the way that this is gonna work.
So you're also gonna have to contend with this.
As you get old, you're gonna have to force old,
and this is gonna be unfortunate.
Now, here's why this is gonna be unfortunate. Now,
here's why this connects to the immigrants. The boomers were supposed to retire
and immigrants were supposed to come in
and work in the healthcare field
because nobody wants to deal with dying boomers in hospitals.
It's a horrible idea.
No person in this country that has any option
wants to wipe the ass of a
boomer who's dying and complaining in a like a state run facility, which is where many
of them will be. Many of these boomers are going to be expiring and they're going to
hang on to their life. You know, they're going to be nasty. You know how there's going to
be a, you know how there's elder abuse in these nursing homes. This is going to be the first time it's justified where you don't feel bad for them at all. You know how there's gonna be, you know how there's elder abuse in these nursing homes?
This is gonna be the first time it's justified
where you don't feel bad for them at all.
You know what I mean?
Where just some Spanish chicks
gonna just punch this woman, this old lady in a face
and you're gonna be like, well, you know, this was, you know.
The boomers are going to be in these hospitals, right?
Calling these people the n-word.
Shitting themselves, complaining about the food,
complaining about their children
because their children are gonna put them there.
And this is why immigrants were kind of coming in
because we were gonna let these poor people
that are getting chased around Ecuador right now
by guerrilla gangs, we were gonna bring them
into our country and say,
wipe that boomer's ass because none of us want to.
That's kind of what's gonna happen.
These boomers, by the way, are like,
they're refusing to even, they won't even,
it's not even happening yet.
Now, eventually it will because they'll physically decline.
There's an inevitability to that.
But that's what I mean about immigration. It's like it can't just be it's not all or nothing
It's not like we need no immigrants or we need all of the immigrants all the time every hour on the hour here
They come and
It's it's it's it's a it's a case-by-case
You got to look at the world and go so but but we do we will need some we have a lot
We have enough a lot right now.
We'll probably need some as the boomers in mass
start to physically decline.
And cause the boomers, you know,
are how many of them are there by the way?
This is something that we should talk in actual statistics.
Because I'm proposing solutions.
A lot of people listen to this show, very influential.
There are 76 million boomers.
This is the way you have to sell immigration to the country
because I do believe we need some of it.
We don't need all of it.
And we don't, not in the way we have it now.
You have to sell immigration to the country like this.
You go, there's 80 million people, okay?
About 76 million baby boomers
living in the U S today. They're all in their sixties, but primarily seventies. And they're
all, maybe it's early seventies, a lot of them, they're all beginning to slow down.
They're getting crazier.
They're becoming threats to the public health.
The ones that have positions of power
will not relinquish them.
We will need immigrants to, you know,
ideally put these people in these little prisons.
We're gonna have to drag them out of their homes
and put them in these little prisons.
That's really the only way these,
we're gonna call them health facilities, but make no mistake,
they will be prisons.
And we're going to have to commit in mass,
tens of millions of boomers against their will into prisons,
run by illegal immigrant Hondurans that are going to have to,
because they have all the jails in the Latin America.
They know how to do it.
They know how to run a prison these people.
They do. Who knows how to run a prison? The Dutch.
The Latin Americans know how to run a prison. They know there's a certain amount of corruption that's needed and whatever.
But boomers are gonna have to be committed against their will. Their property is going to have to be confiscated, okay?
It's gonna have to be kind of chairman Mao. It's no,
it's not yours anymore, mom. It's not yours. We're going to have to take
houses from them by force, confiscate their property,
confiscate their land, commit them against their will in a state
run health facilities,
health facilities.
And the reason this must be done
is because if it is not done,
these people will figure out a pinky and the brain
style way to destroy our world.
They will crash the stock market.
They will do something.
I don't know what it is. I haven't had that vision yet.
I haven't taken the ayahuasca needed to have the vision.
Maybe someone will show me in a dream how the boomers will do,
but they will do it.
And this is why every article now is like the Pentagon,
the Pentagon going, watch them.
Watch them.
We don't know what to do. I've been talking to
them and I've been seeing, I've been seeing their attitudes. You know, young people or middle-aged
people are kind of nervous and worried about this upcoming year because they think, you know,
worried about this upcoming year because they think, you know, that things could unspool in a way that wouldn't be, but boomers are kind of giddy and happy. They're enjoying
this. They like it. They like, they responded to Nikki Haley, Nikki Haley came out and goes,
hey, I'm like a boring Republican. I'm kind of what you guys grew up with and they were like fuck you Fuck you
Get out of here you stupid bitch. We don't want you and
In the same way the boomers on the other side because boomers
They're a political there are boomers that love Biden and hate Trump and there are boomers that hate Biden and love Trump
It's not a political movement. And they're the same people
and they don't even care. Politics is the only sport they have left. It's the only one that they
care about. There's too many minorities in the other sports for them to get really invested in it.
But the thing is, it's not a political movement. They don't care. The ones on the left and the ones on the right
only want to win at the expense of all else,
including they would gladly stand by
for the destruction of the country to be right.
They just wanna be right.
They would gladly stand by.
You know, there are these great like episodes,
things that where I can't even recall what they are,
but I've seen this type of plot device used
in many artistic depictions of things
where someone's offered immortality for something
and they go, no, I don't want immortality.
I don't want it.
I don't like the cost.
You go, you can live forever, but it's like that, the Faustian bargain,
that thing of like, Hey, you can live forever, you know, being a vampire.
You can live forever.
You can't go out in the day.
You can only go out at nights and you got
to suck people's blood, but here's the good news. You'll be around forever. That's kind
of what we're dealing with here. We're dealing with a group of people that doesn't care what
happens to anyone else. They don't care what happens to anyone else.
That is why the Pentagon,
the Pentagon is regarding the selfishness
of that generation as a national security threat,
as an actual national security threat.
It's really amazing and unfortunate. Taco Bell prices, and this is another thing
we should remind people that things steadily get more expensive. That's why it's best
to own assets. This is not a financial advice show. Now, $20 at Taco Bell buys you a lot
less now than it would have when we all fell in love with Taco Bell in the early aughts.
Now, play this lovely woman.
This woman here is reminding us of what we had.
Sometimes in America, you must look at what you had and lost.
And this woman has the courage to remind us because
in the great golden age of fast food in the late 90s and the early 2000s,
when we were comforting ourselves in the grilled stuffed burrito while watching our fellow citizens jump out of windows on 9-11,
We were eating the Wendy's Monterey Ranch chicken sandwich bacon in the ranch dressing in a gold wrapper with Monterey Jack cheese.
Eating it as we watched cigarette smoking girl put young mostly innocent Arabs unleashes
and walked them around Abu Ghraib. And we were uncomfortable with that,
but we only took comfort in the Monterey Ranch Chicken Sandwich
or the Honey Barbecue Chicken Wing from KFC
that they don't really even have anymore.
The great bone Honey Barbecue Chicken Wing,
we would eat that, okay?
While we would watch many of our fellow citizens lose their houses.
So this woman is reminding us of times gone by.
I just found a Taco Bell receipt from 2012.
Two BG5 Leer burritos total.
259.
259 259 can you even get anything from Taco Bell for 259 anymore
like one item where we go wrong what's great about this we will never get mad
at the poison in the food never I'm I'm never mad at it. Bill Burris, some people are.
I'm never mad at it.
I should be.
But we never seem to get, like no one cared.
Remember the whole Monsanto thing?
No one cared.
It was like a couple of rich white bitches from the Malibu.
It was like Robert RFK and his crew were mad about it.
And like, you know, I respect him,
but it never galvanized any public support.
Like no one cared.
Nope, there was a couple of people
in the Pacific Palisades that were like, this is sick.
But nobody cared.
The rage is always at the price of the poison.
It's never at the actual. The rage is always at how price of the poison. It's never at the actual.
The rage is always at how much it costs to die.
People just wanna die for less.
That's really what it comes down to.
Just kill me for less.
I know you're killing me.
I'm pulling in to a building that is illuminated with light.
It's one o'clock in the morning.
I should be in bed hours ago, but I'm here.
And there's other people here.
And we're on a line to be handed burritos
through a window so we can eat them.
We know you're killing us.
Just do it for less.
How much do you have to pay in this country to get cancer?
How much?
That's a real question.
How much do you have to pay in this country
to destroy the bacteria in your gut biome?
Can't you just pay?
Because she said it, she goes, where do we go wrong?
You used to be able to get two beefy five layer burritos, get up the nutritional information on the beefy five layer burrito.
We used to be able to get two of them for 259. 259 you, you were able to eat not only
one but two beefy five layer burritos. Okay. It has 18 grams of fat. It's a 500 calorie item. So two of them would be a thousand calories.
70 carbs, about 60 net carbs, 18 grams of fat, 18 grams of protein, 490 calories.
Now what this obscures of course is that none of the food in it is real.
This makes it sound a bit better than it is, but it's actually plastic and Taco Bell's
like grade D meat and it's lovely. It tastes great, but it's actually plastic and Taco Bell's like grade D meat.
And it's lovely. It tastes great, but it's D meat, meaning I don't think it's from any
specific animal. Really. It's just whatever they got. It's whatever they got. It's Upton
Sinclair, the jungle, old muck raking meat factory, just whatever they got. You know,
if they came out with that book today, no one would care.
They're lying.
Taco Bell goes, we use 100% USDA premium beef.
That's a lie.
That's a lie.
12% seasonings.
But here's the deal.
Upton Sinclair wrote a book about how disgusting
the meat packing industry was in the early days
of this country.
And it was like, he was a muck-raking journalist.
And I believe that that was the title, right? The Jungle.
And it was about, I mean, it was like,
Sweeney Todd in there.
People's fingers were in the meat, people's ear lobes.
It was disgusting.
I mean, so the jungle led to US food safety reforms
because as you look at this photo,
these are like Christmas elves, these little kids,
and they're just making sausages out of whatever they found.
If there was a dog on the floor, he went into the sausage.
Everything was in a sausage in the early days
of this country.
And Opton Sinclair wrote that book.
Now, if you wrote a book right now,
do you know how many books there are
about the poison that we're eating all the time?
Walls, there are walls of books
about how bad it all is,
but we all lack, like no one cares, and I don't care.
So I'm not judging anyone for not caring.
I'm just saying no one cares
No, people kind of laugh it off
People go yeah, yeah
No one cares and it's funny. It's just it's just that's kind of a brilliant point the woman just goes
Used to be able to get two of these used to be able to eat a thousand calories in five minutes
for under three dollars, under three dollars,
half the day's calories of garbage, poison food for three dollars. You know, because
it's, it is a good deal. In America, you accept that every corporation's kind of trying to
kill you. You accept that. The corporations are dumping poison
in the rivers and the lakes where you live.
They're putting bad shit into the atmosphere.
They're poisoning the water.
They're poisoning the food.
They're coming up with different ways
for you to die doing different things.
And you kind of accept that.
You kind of just want a good deal.
You kind of want a good deal.
We accept the moral compromises you have to make to be rich and we're all
prepared to make them that's why we accept it we're all prepared to kind of
make the moral compromises you need to make to be rich nobody in this country
is not wealthy because they're too good of a person. That is not happening here.
There are other countries where that probably plays into it.
That is a factor.
Nobody in America is not rich because they're too moral.
They might be too dumb.
They might have had a bad break.
There might be a tiny, small,
infinitesimal percentage of the population that is not doing
well because they are too moral or they are too good and they've, you know, they chose
to care for their sick mother, whatever, but not none of the boomers. I'll say none of
them. We're all kind of prepared. We kind of prepare you early on
to get ready to make some moral compromises in the world.
That's what we prepare you to do early on in this country.
That's what, that's part of the ethos of this country.
That's what we do.
The whole thing's kind of that.
So yeah, we know you're poisoning us
because we would poison us too.
We would do it.
Like, we get it.
We get it.
If I had that, I'd poison people.
Like, and that's how you're raised in this country.
You're raised in this country
to believe that if you work hard
and you do the right thing,
eventually you're gonna be able to do the wrong thing.
That's really what it comes at.
If you work hard enough, you can kill people.
You can kill people too.
And you could live in a gated community in Gilbert, Arizona.
You can fight.
You can work hard, but there's just no,
there's no rage at the poisoning of our food
or our water assist.
There's just not a lot of it.
There's not a lot of it.
It's a hard thing to get upset about
because it's, you know, that's the other thing.
It's like, you know what people really get upset about?
People really get upset about like, like, uh, the money they pay to change their flight.
They hate that.
They go, it's $500. And then they'll tell you, they'll brag to you that they actually were able to do
his flight change for $75.
They beat Delta.
The least interesting people in the world are constantly talking about how they beat an airline and they were only they only had to pay $75.
The least interesting, most banal people on earth are only concerned with telling you how they beat
only concerned with telling you how they beat
corporation out of a little bit of money. And they feel like a winner.
They feel like a winner.
So that's really what it comes to.
It's just an economic analysis
across the board of most things.
It's not quality of life.
It's not longevity or whatever.
It's like, I beat them.
I beat them. I beat them.
There was an extra mozzarella stick in this.
I won.
I won.
I had a friend who was telling,
I have two people sticking in my house,
one of my friends was telling the other,
this guy didn't even know him.
My friend's little brother said to me,
this guy's going,
let me tell you about the flight change.
And my friend's little brother's going,
what?
He's going, well, they want,
the new flight would be $500,
but I can change it for 75
and he's showing him the app and everything.
My friend's little brother's like,
who is this weirdo?
Get away from me.
But that's what riles people up.
Not knowing they've been poisoned.
They don't care. They don been poisoned. They don't care.
They don't care.
I don't care.
If I was sitting at a restaurant and somebody comes out to me
and goes, you know, well, this is poison, right?
I go, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you gonna do?
Start a farm?
Are you gonna start farming?
What are you gonna do?
Build a water treatment facility? What are you gonna do?
Build a water treatment facility. What is the option?
You know, especially if you're broke, what would the option be?
How do you fight back against the point? I mean you could not eat or you could not eat crap, which is good. You could do your best and
You could do a lot better.
Obviously the extreme examples are like you could cut out the fast food,
but it's so goddamn, they're so good at marketing that shit.
They're so good at marketing that shit.
My godson came to my house.
Now he's Chinese.
He can't be polluted with this.
Now he's Chinese. He can't be polluted with this.
The Chinese run on a different thing than the others.
They do.
There's an efficiency, it's different.
Chinese people cannot be made into fatty bone batteries.
It's not good, It won't work.
Everyone has a different thing, okay?
My Godson comes to my house in the Hamptons.
The Hamptons has fresh vegetables,
fresh bread, fresh butter, fresh eggs.
They have farms on the North Fork of Longa.
The mother, the mother postmates him chicken nuggets.
He's two years old. He's eating post postmates him chicken nuggets. He's two years old.
He's eating post-mated chicken nuggets in the Hampton.
I go, let's make him a grilled cheese or something.
But he's already addicted to the poet, he's post-made,
he goes nuggets.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, he's Chinese.
This won't work.
This won't do.
He needs bok choy, broth, truly.
You know, that's what he needs to be given broth,
bone broth, bok choy, different vegetables, you know?
And yes, yes, every now and then he can step into
the American genre of food.
But there's something, I'm sorry,
I'm gonna get a lot of flack for saying this.
And a lot of people are gonna be upset about me.
I know that we dropped bombs on Japan.
I know that we've raped and pillaged the third world.
I know that the CIA has backed coups all over the world.
I know that we've done all this bad stuff. To me, the most offensive thing we've ever done
is when I see a really fat Asian.
When I see a really fat Asian, I go,
what have we done?
Have we no decency?
Will we never stop?
When I see a really supremely fat, I don't mean chubby, we all
like a chubby Asian. A chubby Asian is great, but an American style fat Asian, where you're
worried about mobility? When I see an Asian of that girth, I am, I shudder with the horror of what we've done.
No, I do.
I shudder because I go, it's crazy.
The crazy billionaire daughter at the LA Times
is losing her mind and destroying the paper,
which is what the children of billionaires tend to do.
A lot of people that have successful parents
never get out of the shadow of that.
This is true.
And they're unable to do it.
LA Times billionaire owner and his family
ignited tug-of-war over paper's future, okay?
So the billionaire owner is Patrick Sun Xiang.
Patrick Sun Xiang.
His daughter and the outlets leadership are being drawn.
As top editor, Kevin Miranda calls it quits fault lines between the billionaire owner
Patrick soon shung his daughter and the outlets leadership is being are being drawn over how to run the business people are upset
The LA Times took out a thing defending the Hamas, right?
Saying what that they weren't really raping people?
What did they say there?
Oh yeah, they basically were saying that it wasn't as bad as it was.
I'll tell you right now, it's very interesting because who's worse, a Woke Asian or a Fat
Asian?
That's an interesting question.
Or a fat location.
A fat location might be the worst archetype of person
on the planet, a very fat location.
They are, because you can't,
because number one, you have reverence for them.
You have reverence for a fat location.
When I watch any fat location,
woke whites, I go out. I'll listen to some woke blacks. I will. But when a fat location comes out, there's something spiritual about them. And I listen and, and it never makes much sense,
but you still listen, but it's terrifying. Is this this one is his daughter fat no she's she's normal get a photo of her your character let's get a
photo of this woman I want to know who I hate and why
oh my god she seems annoying she's got the Palestinian flag in her Twitter
handle listen she's allowed to support the Palestine people.
I don't care.
The Asians are trying to pretend that they, that, that, that like they've never colonized
anything.
That's not true.
That's not true.
It's like, it's just things like returning Native Americans into pussies.
It's like they were warriors.
They used to kill each other all the time.
And that's where they're cool.
Sorry. They used to kill each other all the time. And that's why they're cool. Sorry, they used to kill each other all the time.
And that's why they're cool.
You can't make them into pussies.
You can't.
They were warriors, proud warriors.
You cannot make them into pussies, okay?
I will not listen to her because I want her to be fatter
and I want her to have a cherubic thing. I don't, I can't listen to her because I want her to be fatter and I want her to have a cherubic thing.
I don't, I can't listen to her.
There is no novelty in a thin vocation.
Give me a fat vocation and I will listen.
Far left, fat, Asian.
And I'm in, I'm in.
Always.
You make them trans?
I'll watch it for two hours.
Because it's like a Pokemon.
It's a fun Pokemon come to life.
It's a fun Pokemon.
That's kind of why people watch me.
They're like, oh, he's like some Pokemon villain.
These fat locations are watching me.
And they're going, you give me a fat white supremacist?
With sunglasses?
I'll watch that.
We're all curious.
Everybody's curious about everybody else here.
I have had so many friends that have been telling me
about Morgan and Morgan and that they have had
great experiences with them.
They're the largest personal injury law firm in America.
And my friends have been getting in car accidents
and falling down the stairs.
And, you know,
one of them went up the wrong way in an escalator,
but it was somehow it was the mall's fault.
But here's the point.
The point is that a lot of my friends are clutses and clumsy
because, but it's not really their fault.
It's they're put in dangerous situations all the time, right?
And, you know, my friend recently just literally,
it became paralyzed from an incident in a frozen yogurt shop.
And what I've realized here is that number one,
you're gonna get in car accident.
This is gonna happen, right?
I mean, it's just bumper cars out there.
It's so crazy.
And with over $20 billion recovered
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Timthillincomedy.com, we're on the road
for the next three months and then I'm off
for the rest of the year.
Where can you see me?
Well, you miss San Antonio and you miss Dallas.
When does this come out?
Tomorrow, Saturday. Well, Dallas is gone anyway. Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, you can come see me? Well, you miss San Antonio and you miss Dallas. When does this come out tomorrow Saturday?
Well, Dallas is gone anyway Atlanta, Georgia Saturday
You can come see me the tabernacle a few seats left st. Louis Indianapolis West nyak, New York
We're in a club. We're having fun. It's about an hour out of the city
If you miss me at Carnegie Hall if you want to come again because whatever if you are living that area
Boston the fourth show at the Wilbur has been added.
We've sold that three or very near it, very near it.
You can get one of those other three.
There are a few tickets left.
And then the fourth show has been added,
Foxwood's, then we're Chicago.
We're going to do a club there.
Dania Beach, Temecula, Indio Phoenix,
Atlantic City,
TimDillonComedy.com for all of your tickets
and your needs.
Subscribe to the channel on YouTube, we appreciate it.
We are excited.
And we're having a lot of fun.
And we are hopefully bringing things to light that you haven't you know
And I mean again, I'm not gonna go into the Gilbert thing all the time
But to just pat myself on the back a little bit here
What I do I mean
I'm I'm solving murders
In my spare time. No, really, truly.
People think I'm just like going out here and running my mouth,
but the reality is I'm literally solving murders.
I'm literally making the streets safer for the people of Arizona, a place I don't even particularly love.
And I'm out there making things better and pat on my back, hear that?
Pat on my back that I'm not getting from the governor of that state, Katie Hobbs.
Maybe she's in a hair salon. That's where she should be.
But no one is called, if I were her, I would call me.
I should get a phone call.
Mr. Dillon, please hold for the governor of Arizona.
Thank you.
Thank you for all that you do
for the people of the litter box of my state.
Thank you for the hot desert hell dirt.
From the hell dirt, we thank you, Mr. Dylan,
for everything you're doing.
Because all these people are getting pop now.
These kids and their families and drugs, they get pop.
The family gets pop for drugs.
You've known for two months, they already raided the house.
Call me and tell me.
I'll tell you how to get away with this.
I'm for sale. If these motherfuckers are that me and tell me. I'll tell you how to get away with this. I'm for sale.
If these motherfuckers are that rich, call me. I'm for sale. I'll help you get away with it.
Calm. I am the most underutilized resource in the media. I am for sale. I'm going the way of good now
because that's my default. No one's offered nobody sweetened the pot
Nobody sweetened the pot you give me an orange theory, Jim
You franchise me in a couple of things. Let's talk
I'll have you all around me rehabilitate your asses. I will have your family on my show and
We will talk only about fitness. We'll rehabilitate the
whole family, but it doesn't come cheap. Doesn't come cheap. Okay. So if you're interested,
back channel, and I will, and I will have all of you on and we will talk about how great you all are and how you've been
you've been
waylaid by these lies about you, but get the drugs out of the house you fucking idiots!
Are you really, you guys really are goons down there. I grew up around great criminals!
Really smart conscientious criminals. Really smart conscientious criminals. My mother rented rooms to drug
dealers for years, which made number one being a teenager convenient, but they
would live in my house and my house got raided a few times like cops would come
and peep you know what people would do. They would remove the drugs. I mean, isn't that fucking hard? God!
Anyway, the boomers are gonna be more dangerous than the goons. Watch.