This Is Important - Ep 186: No Shade To What’s His Name
Episode Date: February 6, 2024Today, this is what's important: Hollywood, child birth planning, poop babies, live shows, on-set caterer, female performers, SNL, baby names, foreign countries, Justin Bieber, John Mayer, and more. ...See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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Hey, this is Dana Schwartz.
You may know my voice from Noble Blood,
Haley Wood, or Stealing Superman.
I'm hosting a new podcast,
and we're calling it Very Special Episodes.
A Very Special Episode is stranger than fiction.
It sounds like it should be the next season of True Detective.
These Canadian cops trying to solve this mystery
of who spiked the chowder on the Titanic set.
Listen to Very Special Episodes
on the iHeartRadio app special episodes on the I Heart Radio app,
Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hello, this is Susie Esmond and Jeff Garland.
I'm here.
And we are the hosts of the history
of Curb Your Enthusiasm podcast.
Now we're gonna be rewatching and talking
about every single episode,
and we're gonna break it down
and give behind the scenes knowledge
that a lot of people don't know and we're gonna be joined by
special guests including Larry David and Cheryl Hines, Richard Lewis, Bob Odenkirk
and so many more and we're gonna have clips and it's just gonna be a lot of
fun so listen to the history of curfew enthusiasm on iHeart Radio app, Apple
podcast or wherever you happen to get your podcasts.
Hello this is Christina Hutchinson.
And Corinne Fisher.
We are co-hosts of Guys We've F***ed the Anti-F***ing
Blut Shaming Podcast.
We have a lot of really exciting guests coming up on Guys We've F***ed,
including comedians Shane Gillis, Nikki Glaser,
Michael Rappaport, and Shay Durena about sex, dating, and relationships.
You can even email us for advice
about your own romantic life.
To listen to the luminary original podcast,
guys, we've on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to This Is Important,
a production of I Heart Radio,
the show where we only talk about
what is most obviously very crucially important.
Today on This Is Important,
what is the monster truck pussy?
He's hoarding the quesadillas again.
The thing about this podcast is everything's true,
dude, we don't exaggerate,
we just tell it as it is, okay?
The thing about this podcast is everything's true, dude. We just tell it as it is, okay?
Let's go. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, baby. Yeah, baby. Why'd you drop it? Yeah, why did you drop it?
Because that's where we're reporting live from.
No, no, no.
I don't think any of us are in Hollywood right now.
No, we're not.
I wish we did this right underneath the H of the Hollywood sign.
That would be really cool, or at least behind it.
You remember when you first moved to California,
or I guess when Ders and I first moved to California and Blake
moved down to LA? When you first saw the Hollywood sign you were like, oh my god,
this is magnificent. And then you're like, Hollywood, I can't wait to just see you be
there, see all the cool people. Like it's be a baby maybe baby maybe be a liberal
elite that is babies I can't wait to get elite and be coastal and then you get
there and then Hollywood is like the scariest place right it's like I like
the first week I was there I saw a stabbing so Hollywood baby it's fucking
terrifying man is it that's why I go, Holly, weird.
I did not make that up. That is not my joke.
He's the best.
I don't think of my first scary Hollywood interactions.
It was definitely a terrifying.
Have you ever seen anyone get stabbed or and or murdered?
Huh.
Not that I want to talk about on the pod.
No, I have not. I have not. Wait, what? Wait, what?
Everything's good for father. We've learned this. Yeah, dude. Let's stop. Um, no, I don't think I
have seen that before. I've seen it two times. I've seen stabbing. I don't know if they died,
because you know, I just fucking kids walking
Honey put your head down walk faster walk faster walk faster Right, I saw I saw multiple stabbings one I saw downtown and then one I saw on Hollywood Boulevard
And Adam Adam listened to through the walls years of abuse his mom used to be the shit
His mom used to be the shit out of the stab. So this, so seeing the killings was nothing for him.
Call the cops, Jesus.
That shit's important.
I don't joke about that.
I don't joke about that.
I don't know if I've seen a stabbing.
I think you would remember.
Is that something you just forget about?
I guess you could block it out of your memory.
I feel like I do.
I feel like I do forget about stuff like that. Just like trauma? What's trauma? Uh, no, I feel like Ders doesn't hang out in city places. I
thought I was hanging out in city places. Adam used to just kick it in garbage cans.
But you have to buy your fentanyl somewhere. Yeah, right. Or sell it. Yeah. Let's go.
somewhere. Yeah, right. Or sell it. Yeah. Let's go.
No, so I was just walking. It was me in Austin, like literally our buddy Austin Anderson, and I think it was us. And it was one of the first weekends that we were in LA. Allegedly. And we walked down the Hollywood Boulevard. We're like, let's just go drive up to Hollywood, walk around Hollywood Boulevard, see what's up. Because you were in Orange County. Okay. We're down in Orange County. We drove up to LA.
I had just been in LA for, or in California for a few weeks, and we walked down the street. And
all of a sudden we saw these kids come running past us. And we were like, like dead sprint.
We're like, Oh, what happened? We walk up and someone's like, oh my god.
And then there's just a person like bleeding out lane there.
And we're like, oh, this guy just got stabbed.
I was hoping I was hoping for it.
And I was like, let's get a I love Hollywood t-shirt over here.
Yeah, totally. I'm like, should we go to Ripley's Believe It or Not?
Adam was like, they're filming movies everywhere here.
Let's get this little Kobe Bryant shirt over here. That's cool.
Oh, look at little Tony Oscar. Go Dodgers.
Whoa, Hooters.
I used to hit that Hooters all the time.
Hooters. Double Park right there.
Just leave the blankers going.
Pray like hell they wouldn't take it.
Hooters Hollywood Rockss Hooters Hollywood man
Yeah, that was hey that was an era. It's gone now. Yeah, I believe it's a coffee beat and tea leaf. Thanks Obama
Yeah, thanks, and I think the one in Burbank clothes. Thanks Obama. Yeah, it did that one was the best
I had but there's one still in Long Beach. Thank you. There is mommy. Yes. I I
one still in Long Beach. Thank you.
There is.
Rhonda Swamy.
Yes.
I had the Hooters Burbank shirt and I lost it at Adam's Bachelor Party, which...
I'm so sorry.
No, that works.
I'm if you're going to lose a Hooters shirt, be at your boy's Bachelor Party.
That works.
I feel and I could be wrong.
We could be a week off because we're we're stacking some episodes
because people are working and doing things.
This might be the week that my son is born.
Hello. Yeah, dude.
Yeah, so pretty excited.
Well, excited.
Yeah. Oh my God.
You love them?
We already have little tiny shoes.
Oh my gosh, look at that shoe.
Look at that.
Damn, are those vans?
These are not vans and they're very soft.
I'm like,
I'm a brand whore.
What are they?
What are we looking at?
Osh gosh.
I don't know what they are.
You know, the wife, we're gonna get him some vans.
I think he has some vans upstairs.
I just saw these sitting on the counter
and I was like, yo.
Yessir.
Those are really cute.
Yeah.
Have you guys washed,
cause like the new clothes or whatever,
you wanna like wash them before you just put
them right on them. Yeah.
I remember washing the clothes before the baby arrived and holding up.
What is the absolute smallest size of a shirt?
And I was like, what?
Yeah, you're like, my kid's not going to.
My boy's not going to fit in this.
My boy ain't fitting in that.
It's crazy. No, my boy's going to be bigger.
Yeah. Now we have like a full closet of clothes. I'm like this kid
What's gonna happen is he's gonna come out
3232 pounds. Well not fit in any of it. You know what I mean wife?
splits in half dead
Sacrificed everything we appreciate it
You know I because you're like, they wear these clothes for like maybe a month,
right? And then until they're on to the next one, I'm like, we're really,
we've got a lot of options, I feel.
But, you know, it's better to be overprepared.
I recently, I was telling you guys that I drove the route that I'm going to drive
to take her to the hospital.
Yeah. One, no, I'm just ready to go.
And I went to the parking lot and was like, this is the parking lot.
Right. You got the go bag and everything.
Yeah. And then I went through.
I like got the ticket to be like, is there a lot of parking?
And I'm like, oh, yeah, it's a ton, tons of parking here.
And then I go to get out and then it was like two dollars.
And I was like, I just came in and he's like
That's two bucks. I'm like, dude. You can't just let me do I'm like kind of arguing with the guy a little bit
But then I was just like, yeah, I guess I just you know, I didn't need to drive in here
He goes off to doing business pal
I love the thought of you getting in the biggest fucking fight with this guy and he's like that's it
You're banned from the parking lot.
And you have to tell Chloe like, yo, actually we need to park.
We have to park across the street now.
So it's a little bit of a walk.
I mean, that that is your curb, your enthusiasm episode.
Yeah. Like, sorry, buddy, you're not coming back.
You have to wear a disguise.
Chloe has to wear a beard.
And then the OBGYN comes out and he's like, oh, this is my husband the guy works at the parking lot and you go
There's there's also like this hospital overlooks the ocean so like you can it's you're like hello
birthing sweet or whatever that you spend like the most time
I'm the less you the less the fewer details you include, the fewer people are going to show up at your wife.
No, we all want everyone there to party.
But there's only like eight sweets or whatever that overlook the ocean.
And the others don't.
And I'm like, how do you angle to get those rooms?
Because those are the dope.
You pay a ton of money.
No, you can't.
I've told.
I've asked.
I've been like, really?
You be famous.
I go, I did.
I also said that.
I didn't say that, but they knew who I was.
And they're like, oh, wow, cool.
So great to have you guys.
And I'm like, how do I get in?
You don't know who this guy is? Yeah, they're like, it's first come, first serve. And so I'm like, oh wow, cool. So great to have you guys. And I'm like, how do I get in? You don't know who this guy is?
Yeah, they're like, it's first come, first serve.
And so I'm like, all right, well, you better
hurry up and have the baby at the right time.
You better serve that baby up.
Yeah, you put a lot of fresher on her.
Always, always.
That's cool.
I already came.
You better serve.
Yeah, second come.
Well, how do you think the babies come out?
Pressure. That's true. That is true. You know, how do you think the babies come out? Pressure.
That's just, that is true.
You know, you got to bear into the breath.
The breath.
But you know what's cool when the due date comes and goes and then you start getting
real like, well, what are we doing here?
And the doctors like intercourse.
That's always a fun way to induce labor.
And you're like, I just want a party. I really like fucking cool.
Our doctor was like straight up,
if it doesn't come like a few days after,
we'll just induce it here at the hospital.
Okay.
Well, you know, I mean, you don't want to kind of exhaust
natural days.
It's not like they come up, the due date's not a real thing.
You know what I'm saying?
A due date is an estimate that's like what they go.
It's probably gonna be this.
Yeah, it's like guessing on the weather.
And so if you're a few days past it,
that doesn't mean like it's gotta come now.
Well, it depends on how big the child is.
These are factors.
These are factors.
There's a place in the valley.
By the way, I love that this is what the pod is today.
Ladies, turn it up.
Baby talk.
Baby talk. Talk talk. Baby talk.
Talk, talk, talk.
It's baby talk.
There's a salad in the valley that has been known to induce labor.
A salad?
Yeah. A salad, yeah.
Giz salad.
Yeah, there's one at like near Aroma Cafe, I believe.
And then there was also this place in Concord.
There was a pizza that was like a baby inducer.
Places claim to have shit that makes babies come out.
Well, that's tight.
That's just like a fun way to.
I mean, salads kind of whack.
If you want something, a pizza sounds.
Yeah, I want to fucking cheese steak.
You know, you're you're super pregnant.
Ask why it doesn't want to eat a salad.
Yeah. She wants a hoagie.
She wants to have a.
Yeah, something fun to eat that it's going to induce.
Let me get that baby.
She eats like a ninja turtle.
She wants ice cream on her feet.
Let me get that baby induced in fondue, baby.
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
But you and then you're just like, you have a lot of fondue in you when
you're trying to give birth.
The daughter's like, well, did you hear about our baby in this in crawfish?
Ho!
A lot of fondue down here.
Fondont.
The cause of diarrhea.
Diarrhea.
Just a bunch of diarrhea.
Hey Blake, we're like fondont.
Oh, sorry.
Okay, we got you brother.
Yes, points!
Hey, thanks.
We'll teach diarrhea.
Thanks.
Dang man. If there is a.
If we're playing the party, how I mean, how often are
are is our births covered in diarrhea?
Do you think that's a common thing or does the body?
That was a big.
That was a big.
I'm excited to find out.
Miss Noma, a big thing that like beautiful.
Remember a few years ago when women decided to be like, um, I'm,
I'm going to tell you all the things that actually happened that they don't tell you.
And it was like the big thing for a while was like, you can shit when you're having a baby
and no one tells you that. Yeah. And it was like freeing to kind of be like, it's gross,
it's a mess, it sucks, it's hard, it's not beautiful. You're pushing. You're pushing.
Of course some shit's gonna come out.
I won't be grossed up by that at all, dude.
I'm gonna be like, well, poop baby.
Oh, cute ass poop baby.
It's even.
OK.
And then for the first year, his name will be Poo Poo.
Hey, little poop.
And Adam's just pocketing the turds.
I'm gonna keep them.
I'm gonna keep them.
I'm just putting them in little mason jars.
Look, it's your brother.
It's your brother, Poopoo.
Little frozen poop sickle.
Oh, God.
He still does the joke 30 years later.
It's your twin brother, Poopoo.
He's 30 seconds older than you.
Well, you got to make, you know, these are family memories
that you cherish and then you save forever.
And then you go, when he's forever and then you go when he's
like brings his like fiance he's like 30 years old he brings his fiancee home and
you're like well when he was cuz I'm old now dude cuz yeah get in here I'm like
we called him poo poo for the first several years of his life. Oh my God, it's so cute, why? We called him Bloody Diarrhea.
We called him Bloody Diarrhea Poo Poo.
This is before Grandma killed herself.
And that's when I go in the freezer
and dig out the poo poo and show her the actual excrement.
You get out the scrapbook and it smells so bad.
Oh, damn, the pages are stuck together again.
Oh, my God!
Let me just pry this page open really quickly.
It's fermented, but now it's just that wine that they drink it, or not wine, but what
is that shit that they do?
Oh, jankum?
Thank you, guys!
What is that?
It's like fermented shit that gets you higher.
Yeah. And you just huff the air, huh?
Yeah. Yeah.
You huff the the the poo vapors.
The poo.
The poo.
But the high is fucking crazy, bro.
You see shit.
Have you done it?
Have you done?
No.
Well, why are you saying it so you don't know?
Why are you saying?
He's insane.
He's insane.
I was in character. I was in character.
Hey, the thing about this podcast is everything's true, dude.
We don't exaggerate.
We just tell it as it is.
Okay.
All right.
Who are you?
Boy, just be yourself for one second, please.
All right.
I and I will say the wig off.
Just take the wig off.
Apology.
Can I take the wig off?
Can I finish?
Please.
We wish you would.
Kayla, finish, can I finish? Can I finish? Oh
my God. Perfect. Oh man. No, I've never done jankum and I apologize for lying. Obviously.
We think stalf protest, oh my. I think that'd be a fun thing to do is we do jankum. This
is the way. Each other's jankum and who hits the hardest. I would hate to do it wrong because
what if it doesn't work and you just ended up like inhaling shit
You know it has a ladle and a mouthful. He's a
How come I'm not feeling anything good. We would hey we would get a jankham pro would get a jankham
Sure who in prison straight out of prison straight out a guy that just walked out. He's looking for a job
Work release. We're like, Hey, here we go.
Come on over to be our fourth member of this is important.
Yeah, let's do Jankham together.
Kyle's no longer part of the podcast.
We need a fourth guy.
See, maybe we get a felon to pick a convict convict music.
Yeah.
A comedy teaches us how to.
Martha Stewart was making some like bomb ass Jankham. Like she's got her own recipe type. Oh, he teaches us how to. Martha Stewart was making some like bomb ass
jankum like she's got her own recipe type.
Oh, yeah, you know, you want to do Martha's jank.
You know, she's a hint of pumpkin spice.
And you're like, damn, she has a girl.
Yeah, they're like, you taste that cinnamon.
By the way, that's my Marvis to impression.
That was really good.
It was kind of better than I thought it would be.
I haven't heard her put. No, that's more Julia Trial.
Yeah.
What happened to Martha?
He's hot now.
Pretty good, Janko.
But I think, here's what we do,
because you know on the live podcast,
on the tour, rather, it was hard to like do things like this.
Walk?
No, to do Janko.
Well, do not.
You know. Yeah. Oh yeah. like this walk no to do jankam you know yeah oh yeah because because it was
hard enough to like get the proper chairs there like just places for us to
sit like sure to get the sound correct sure you know we played a guitar twice
and one of the times the last time it just didn't work so and was that the
final show by the way that was the final show and it just did it didn't work. So, And was that the final show by the way?
That was the final show and it just didn't work.
In my hometown Omaha, we're like,
all right, do in the guitar bit.
And then it just didn't work.
Gotcha bitch.
Kyle goes for the guitar.
Kyle goes off stage for the guitar,
walks out strumming as he does.
They don't hear anything.
He knows they don't hear anything.
He looks at the plug, doesn't work.
Yeah, plugs it back in.
I ended up waving him over to me.
I hold my microphone up to his guitar.
I sing into his crotch where the guitar is.
Long story short, Terzin Kyle started 69
just for the fans.
And I was like, finally, my plan.
So it was hard to do things like that,
but what we could do is if we do an in studio.
OK. Live show that we sell tickets online.
OK. And we make an event of it.
And then we do we have a segment where we do.
Jankum.
Jankum.
Bopo sound.
It's the Jankum segment.
Just real quick, our sound engineer,
producer is defending himself. It's okay.
Rented guitar.
I didn't throw Todd under the bus.
If anything, it's probably...
He was a rented guitar that the battery died.
Yeah, which is the rental house.
And we believe you, Todd, and it's not your fault.
It might be the baby eater, Kyle Neuzek, who's not who's not here to defend himself.
And if he was here, he could defend himself and probably we would buy his defense, but he isn't.
And we rolled with it. It made for great fodder for the rest of the show.
Fun fodder.
But what's not going to happen with the jankum is exciting news to me.
And then we're going, I mean, that is a good idea, right? About doing a live show that we sell tickets online, make an event, and then plan like
five or six, maybe we, I oil a breakup for the me undies campaign.
Oh, you back to that from last week?
Oh, my God.
Come on.
So we're talking like basically like a tell.
I still want my spoils.
Yeah.
We're saying like a telethon, but it's like a pot-a-thon.
It's not a telethon. I feel like who did it? um,
Preysher and Segura, they did it. What'd they do? Okay. Uh, they do uh, like two bears, one cave live.
Okay. And they, and they do it like in studio and then like have all these special guests come in,
do this, you know, all this crazy stuff that they normally don't do
Thankum and then they do it live
At a theater in front of an audience no they do it they do it live in a studio and then they sell tickets online
Yeah, and you can watch that yeah. Yeah, that seems really feasible. Yes. Yeah, and it seems fun
And then we could get the jankum to actually jankum.
Cool. And we get.
And if we're going to do a guitar bit, the guitar will be there.
It'll work. OK.
The guitar is going to work because it's all batteries.
It's all in studio.
OK. That's what I'm saying.
Let's go.
We should do something like that.
I guess that's a good enough reason.
It sounds like you really want to do jank.
And we don't. And we don't have to travel like you could just do janko
We don't have to travel and we get to do jank
It's a long road to travel just for you just oh duck in some fucking shit air
Well, is that is that what it is the shit air gets you high because if the vapor's the vapor's vapors baby well it's just vapors dude it's just like smelling your friends fart
and wondering what they've eaten well Adam gasoline is vapors and that'll kill
you nobody likes nobody likes besides me it's not Adam farts and thinks it's a
gift he's like yeah I farted you're welcome thank. How's that high? See, I don't fart that often, but when I do fart.
But when I do.
It's pretty great.
I'm good.
Yeah.
Hey, this is Dana Schwartz.
You may know my voice from Nobleblood,
Haley Wood, or Stealing Superman.
I'm hosting a new podcast and we're calling it
Very Special Episodes.
One week, we'll be on the case with special agents from NASA
as they crack down on black market moon rocks.
H. Ross, pro's on the other side and he goes,
Hello, Joe, how can I help you?
I said, Mr. Perot, what we need is $5 million
to get back a moon rock.
Another week, we'll unravel a 90s Hollywood mystery.
It sounds like it should be the next season of True Detective or something.
These Canadian cops trying to solve this 25-year-old mystery of who spiked the chowder on the Titanic set.
A very special episode is Stranger Than Fiction.
It's normal people plop down in extraordinary circumstances.
It's a story where you say this should be a movie.
Listen to very special episodes on the I heart radio
app apple podcasts or wherever you get your
podcasts. of Curb Your Enthusiasm podcast. We're gonna watch every single episode.
It's 122, including the pilot,
and we're gonna break them down.
And by the way, most of these episodes
I have not seen for 20 years.
Yeah, me too.
We're gonna have guest stars
and people that are very important to the show,
like Larry David.
I did once try and stop a woman
who was about to get hit by a car.
I screamed out,
Watch out!
And she said,
Don't you tell me what to do!
And Cheryl Hines. Mike, why can't you just lighten up and have a good time?
And Richard Lewis. How am I going to tell him I'm going to leave now?
Can you do it on the phone? Do you have to do it in person? What's the deal?
Not just on cable. You have to go in and see human beings help you.
And then we're going to have behind the scenes information. Tidbits.
Yes, tidbits is a great word. Anyway, we're both a wealth of knowledge about this show because
we've been doing it for 23 years.
So subscribe now and you could listen to the history
of Kerber enthusiasm on iHeart Radio App, Apple Podcast,
or wherever you happen to get your podcasts.
Hello, this is Christina Hutchinson and Corinne Fisher.
We are standoff comedians and co-hosts of the legendary
Guys We F*** The Anti-F***ed Shaming Podcast.
This podcast is the template for every sex,
dating and relationship show you have heard.
We have the uncomfortable conversations
that you don't wanna have or you've never had
or you're gonna wanna be a fly on the wall for.
So why aren't you checking it out?
And we have a lot of really exciting guests coming up
on guys we f***ing including comedians,
Shane Gillis, Nikki Glaser, Michael Rappaport and Shay Durena about sex, dating and relationships.
You can even email us for advice about your own romantic life. Do it, I dare you.
To listen to the luminary original podcast, guys, be f***ed on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
We could do this slap. We could do the slap thing.
That would be kind of cool.
We could do slap box.
I mean, after I do jank him, I might need that.
I feel like Derz would like hurt one of us.
Like, I feel like he would really hurt one of us.
I would say that the doopy trends,
if you catch the doopy trend on the side of your face.
Oh, sure. You're built for it.
He might catch a nostril, bring the nose with it.
And the doopy trends, it's like in a hard part. It's like calcium built up in your
palm, right? See that right there? Yeah, I see it. I do see it. Yeah, dude. Wow. I don't
really know what that is, but it's, is it hard to touch? Oh, sorry, I don't know what
we're talking about. Yeah, it's, it's like a dense little bunch. Okay. Yeah. So that
would really hurt, dude. That would. Yeah. it's it's like a dense little bunch. Okay. Yeah, so that would really hurt dude
That would yeah, that's kind of cool. Also. I feel like you got longer arms a little more power to come from
Actually short story. I feel like it would have to be between Blake and I and then you and if Kyle were to ever come back to
I mean those check hands
Oh my god or the guy from prison that, the felon that we bring in,
that helps us with the janko.
You and him could go toe to toe.
I will give Kyle a little credit because he's got the, he's got the hands.
The hardware is there.
He does.
And also the core, the pickleball kind of core emotion.
Sure.
Oh yeah.
That might help.
That might help.
I'm not interested in that.
He's got heavy hands.
He's also leaned right up, you know.
He's looking good.
He's got a jawline.
I'm liking what I'm seeing.
I'm wondering if that'll hurt him.
On quarter comedy-wise.
In all ways.
No, for our slapboxing competition.
I feel like.
There's no weight.
That extra weight behind it.
He's still 240, dude, chill.
No, I thought he got down to like,
I think he's like 215 or something.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, no, I mean, you know when he's directing,
he gains, though, we'll see.
Right, yeah.
There's those snacks that,
that snack table is calling your boy.
Whoa, so tough.
Barbecue kettle chips.
So tough. City, kettle chips. So tough.
City, crafty city.
You know they got those all dressed chips in Canada.
God damn.
They'll be fucking with those.
I do kind of hate when they do the hot fly rounds
when they're like,
do you want a little half grilled cheese?
And you're like, ah, wait, let me, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll have, yeah, I'll have two.
Tasty.
Yeah, so what I would do is when I had it I had an assistant for a while
shout out Kyle Walsh and
He would then go and just make sure that I didn't miss any of them
Sometimes they come around and you just are you know, you're doing something else and you don't see it or whatever
Yeah, and then he would I didn't have a mate. I always see it, but go ahead. Yeah, he brings me plates of
And then he would... That doesn't have a name. I always see it, but go ahead.
He brings me plates of everything that was brought around.
So you just have like a full pre-meal.
So this is when you're on set for people that are listening.
When you're on set, they don't want you to be hungry,
which is awesome.
And then they bring you little snacks, little homemade,
like little macaroni and cheeses or little corn dogs. It's rain for the crew. Whatever. Yeah, it's awesome. And then they bring you little snacks, little homemade, like little macaroni and cheeses or little corn dogs or whatever.
Bring for the crew.
Yeah, it's awesome.
And it's also great for you as an actor if you're looking for a snack.
If you're not looking to be a fat fuck, your boobs are huge.
Which I'm always fighting this fight because my body wants to be self-active.
It loves it.
It really does.
Eat the machine.
It really wants to be fat.
And it's really good food, hopefully.
On some sets
The food is insane. It's bomb sometimes and other times you're like who's back there
Like is it just to Blake back there making like mani sandwiches?
We're having graham crackers with peanut butter and raisins again. Ha sometimes. It's like ha it's like disturbingly bad
It's ants on a log peanut butter and raisins again. Ha, sometimes it's like, ha, it's like disturbingly bad.
It's ants on a log.
But then I would get like two plates of this shit.
And then, and then you're like, well, I don't like, I took this.
Now other crew guys don't get this stuff if they ran out or whatever.
He's hoarding the quesadillas again.
And now I have to eat it all.
You know, I heard a cool move that a producer told me he was like, oh,
I know a producer who will hire a shitty caterer and let that ride for
like the first two weeks and then like make kind of an announcement where it's
like, you guys, I know the catering is so bad.
I cut him loose and then he hires. He plans to do this.
Then he gets a bomb caterer and everybody loves the guy.
I can't stop.
Easy. That's a move.
That's a move he does consciously to like win the crew over.
So when that he steps back on set, everyone's like, there's my fucking guy.
Dude, the beat.
Interesting. So that guy's a sociopath.
Yeah, as a total fucking maniac. Yeah, like you hire somebody who's bad at their job to fire them publicly to make you look good when you hire somebody better at the job. Yeah, that guy's a lunatic too.
Damn. I mean, some producers are crazy. That being said, we had Kyle on and now it's better. We had Kyle on to fire him so that people appreciate this better.
It's like, now.
Trim the fat, baby.
I'm loving it.
Don't call him that.
Don't call him that.
You're right.
And I wasn't.
It was a hypothetical fact.
I can't stop eating.
Was it hypothetical?
You tell me, boss.
Help me out, man.
What's hypothetical mean? Like man. What's hypothetical mean?
Like imaginary?
What do you mean?
You don't know what a hypothetical means.
No, I do.
It's like a scenario that could happen.
Sure.
A hypothetical.
Yeah.
So you knew what it meant.
In the moment, I didn't know if I used it correctly.
Hypothermical.
How did you use it?
I said it was a hypothetical fat.
And that is not what I meant.
I meant, yeah.
No, that doesn't work. No. Hypoth hypothetical fat. And that is not what I meant. I meant, yeah, no, that doesn't work. No, I meant, I meant, when he was
like, trim the fat. Yes, I meant symbolic, symbolic fat. Yeah.
symbolic fat. There we go. Very shaggy. Brought to you by
symbolic fat. That sounds like one of those drugs that you take.
Like what is that? Symbol to, I don't know symbolic fat symbolic fat
Fat damn sign me up who comes up with it
I mean, I know this is like stand up
This is probably stand-up comedy
101 now that someone has a bit about like who comes up with these names of these medicines
It's like oh, yeah, seriously like that's got to be a full-time job and someone's probably really highly paid dude
Huh, you know which one's fire? I'm all about sky Rizzy. Oh, it's like it's like a rapper
I said that's my streetball name
I really got a Rizzy mix tape is about to be fired sometimes
They blow sometimes you're like like this isn't cool right Vajuvatroy. Sometimes you're like, why not? Like, this isn't cool. Right.
Vajuvatroid.
And you're like, ugh.
That one's kind of hard to, it doesn't roll off the tongue.
But every once in a while they nail it.
Sky Rizzy, you're correct.
Sky Rizzy is fire.
If that's not like a sexy little rapper with just like neon green hair or something.
Yeah.
Like, ugh.
Yeah.
Who's like, talk about bending over to let the pussy breathe or something like that. Right. Yeah. Yeah. It was like, talk about bending it over to let the pussy breathe or something like that.
Potentially.
Is that what you think it would be, Blin?
Yeah.
Hypothetically.
Is that your hypothetical song or lyric?
That could be hypothetical.
Dude, I'm just, no, I'm very into like there's so many
Female rappers right now. Yes. She could she could say something about
Or she could do something about like I don't know
voting or
Education no female rappers are very vulgar right now, and I love it
They will talk about like having like monster truck pussy. It's like insane. It's great
Who's who's singing about is that is that your girl ice-pice because I feel like Sky Rizzy would be ice-pices
Direct competition. Yeah. Yeah, definitely exactly. She's coming in guns a blazing talking
about pussy. Yeah. Yeah. What is the monster truck pussy? Is that like a pussy that could
take a monster truck? I think it's like, oh, she's going to run you over. Yeah. Demolition.
Yeah. It's got mudflaps. What are we talking? I don't understand. She's fucking she's squashing dicks, dude.
Yeah, she stacks them up and squashes them.
It's all those things.
It's all those things and more.
What is that good?
Yeah, it is that in this day and age, that's good.
You're owning your sexuality.
But doesn't what's her name?
Say come park your truck in this little garage and you're like, OK, a little garage.
That's cute. Well, who is that? Is that a little Kim?
No, no, no, that's a...
Yeah, is that old timey rap? We're talking new timey rap.
Yeah, we're talking new rap. The pussy is bigger than ever and it is inhaling.
No, that's fucking... No, that's the... That's a lyric from wet ass pussy.
That's from WAP.
Yeah, that's old.
How long ago was WAP, dude?
Don't park that, Mac Truck, in his little garage. But now they're saying yeah
Bring whatever you got big or small, but this pussy. It's a monster truck
Yeah, you might have to park on the fourth floor. There's everything moves so fast
Remember when was true when you're like remember when you're in eighth grade like the type of music that was popular
And then by the time you're a senior you look back back at like your eighth grade music, you're like, that was so old.
Like, oh, that was so long ago. And really, it was just like five years ago, and wasn't that long. That's what's happening now. Now,
pussies have to breathe.
They have to breathe.
You have to have a monster truck pussy. It's got to demolish and squash all the cocks.
And look,
and squash all the cocks. And look, like I understand it in a intellectual way,
but emotionally, I just I'm holding onto the past.
That makes a lot of sense.
OK.
I was watching SNL the other night
and they had some singer on and she was like laying on the ground
singing and the camera did this like spin around.
I don't know what it was like, Rachel Razz or something.
OK, seems real.
And I don't know. She was. And I'm like, what is this shit they're doing? And I was
like, just stop for a second. Imagine you're 10 years old. And this is like Madonna. And you've
never seen anything like it before. Pretty cool. She's just doing something pretty cool.
Like, I'm old. I'm jaded. And I'm like, who does she think this is fucking cool?
I'm getting sick just want I'm getting motion sickness Renee rap what I call Rachel Razz
Renee rap Renee rap, but she's also an actress right she is she in the Mean Girls I mean
I don't know I believe and when And when the Mean Girls, I'm so
out of it. I haven't even seen Mean Girls one. I walked past the movie theater and said
Mean Girls up and I was like, I just saw him travel. But I guess I just never, I didn't
hear that they were remaking it. Yeah, they did another Mean Girls. And then this one's
a musical. Yes. And Tina Fey wrote it, apparently. So yeah, because there was a stage like a Broadway mean girls that is a musical,
right? And is this that except filmed that I do not know.
Yes. It's a drawing of a photo of a memory of a fucking disaster.
My guy producer Anna says yes.
We're playing the craziest game of fucking telephone with art right now.
And we're like, it was a movie. Then art right now. It's like it was a movie
Then it was a stage musical that now is into a new movie. That is really weird
I guess people are liking it and uh renee rap I I recently I was like who is this girl and then I
Was on her instagram stalking her the other day sure
But no, it seems like people are really fucking with her right now. So she was singing
She was singing. Hey big ups for her for laying on the ground at SNL.
I would love to lay on the ground at SNL.
You know, take a nap.
Yeah.
And just, yeah.
It's 8 H and just do maybe that's where I do Jankam.
Maybe that is the time.
Adam, we'd love to have you on to do the Jankam.
We'd love to.
We won't be having a musical performance.
We have the median actor Adam Devine trying.
Oh, wow!
Frank Janko's trying.
The second time.
He did it once for his podcast, Telethon,
and now he's here on SNL.
The host is like fucking, I don't know who, somebody serious.
And he's like, ladies and gentlemen, once again, Adam Devine doing J.
The second time.
And I'm Adam Driver.
When the host has to be serious for inner, yeah.
When like Adam Driver or whoever it is has to be like seriously
introducing the musical artist.
I laugh so hard because they're like, ladies and gentlemen, once again,
Moby and you're like, chill. That's why what's the name was the coolest. Um, wasn't it Adrian
Brody once again, Sky Rizzy? Yeah, it's just Clive Ho and ladies and gentlemen, Sky Rizzy.
Like it's a blessing or some shit. You're like, dude, it's just a musical performance.
Sean Connery. If I was ever the host of SNL, I would be so serious in those moments.
You have to be.
You have to be.
You have to try to out serious.
Megan the style.
Clive Owen or whoever like actor.
Sillian, Killian Murphy.
Oh, Sillian Murphy.
That's a great one.
Sillian, Killian.
Killian.
He's like, when I do SNL, call me Sillian. I might be a great one. Silly and killin. Hey, killin. He's like when I do SNL call me silly in
Do you guys ever catch yourself? Yes
I don't know the last time you guys watch SNL. I just I have my fucking DVR collection. I watched this new one
It's okay. You could watch it. Yeah, it's fine. I don't. And this is the first time in a long time.
First time in a long time.
But do you guys ever catch yourself when you're watching it late?
And it's just like the title card of like the host being kind of goofy or not.
Having like a cool photo and it says like SNL.
And it's dead silent for those 10 seconds.
And you just look at it and you're like,
this is you have like a it gives you like a weird time to like
ponder process process.
Yeah. And it kind of makes it like it like elevates the show in a weird way
where you just look at this photograph, look at this photograph.
Oh, look at this photograph.
Ladies and gentlemen, nickel back.
And you think, S and L, every time it makes me laugh.
No, but it's silent and it's kind of like, am I crazy?
I feel like that's what Lauren Michaels has done such a good job of,
is making the show seem, even though it's a silly sketch comedy show at its core.
That's what it is.
And like, but then he's done a great job of like elevating it and making it seem important and special.
Special.
It's silent for a reason.
Yeah.
Like usually there'd be some sort of interstitial.
It's a moment of silence.
We've never learned that lesson.
We talk over each other constantly.
No dude, we don't.
All right.
We cannot stop.
Cannot stop.
Or help ourselves.
Shut the fuck up! Sorry about it.
But I do, I was watching it and it hit me and I was like, every time I watch this show
and I sit through one of these 10 second photograph interstitials without any sound, I like go
to this place where I'm like, a moment of zen.
This show is an institution.
This is to be cherished.
Once again, ladies
and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, the 69 boys.
The yin-yang twins. Ladies and gentlemen, Gabba Penton. Ladies and gentlemen, Sellebrex.
Osempic. But part of me is like, is it being self serious or should I have the genuine feeling?
Ladies and gentlemen, does it know what it's doing?
Anders, honestly, anytime you can have real feelings, I say embrace that.
Yeah, please.
I like that that's when he has it.
That's his special place.
That's when he reflects on live for 10 seconds.
His 10 seconds.
He's like, it all just hits him in between fucking sketches
Everything's gonna be fine, but they know what they're doing. I want to know if he was like no music
You know, you know, he was if they were like like should we hear the band?
I guess no no music just a picture picture and people go. It'll be weird. It'll be really quiet. I know
I'm gonna go eat popcorn. I'll be really quiet. I know. I'm going to go eat popcorn.
I guess it's a lot.
I wonder if sometimes she's like, I wish we wouldn't have.
I would like to play music over this guy.
Right. Yeah.
I hate Canaan.
Like, I wonder if some hosts are like, they don't have the gravitas to like, pull off the no music.
Right.
But that'd be cool when we get to host. I feel like if one of us were hosting, that's the first time they're like, and like they don't have the gravitas to like pull off the no music
I feel like if one of us were hosting
the first time they're like this like whoa that was weird how they hit it how they blasted me don't turn the channel And you're like whoa hey, I know you guys keep it right where it's at. I'm at home like
Hey Emma, so they're gonna play Adam's silent 10-second picture here and it's just fucking like BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM But you gotta trust us the musical guest is good. I know you haven't laughed yet
He might take off the wig ladies and gentlemen back clothing
For your back it's for backs may we call back back fucking it's a muscle relaxer. I believe back muscle low
Ladies and gentlemen back lovin. gentlemen, back lovin.
I mean, back lovin sounds like a Beethoven.
Not like a foreign artist like they come in and they're doing some like weird shit.
Foreign to what, Adam?
Foreign to Americans.
And that's how it works.
That's how it is.
You're fucking disaster, my guy.
Back lovin.
Do I have a foreign name, Adam?
Yeah.
On Dersh.
Mr.
I'm named after the supposed first guy.
Adam.
Uh, to me?
Yeah.
Adam.
Real original.
Adam and Steve.
Adam and Steve.
Hey, this is Dana Sports.
You may know my voice from Noble Blood, Haley Wood, or is Dana sports. You may know my voice from noble blood,
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To listen to the luminary original podcast, guys, we f***
on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcast,
or wherever you get your podcasts. had to like have a fridge repair the other day. So so I'm having a this fridge repairman. And
he's fixing my fridge. And it's, you know, I'm talking with him trying to make some small talk.
And he's like, could you shut the fuck up? He's parked in front of my garage, and I need him to
move the garage, but he's kind of taking his time. And he's like, I'll be out of here in a minute.
And I'm like, Okay, yeah, it's a fine just a minute. And you know, and he he's, he's like, ah, last time I was here, because we had those fridges like on the fritz, he's a fine just a minute and you know, and he he's
he's like, Oh, last time I was here because we had those fridges
like on the fritz, he's like, last time I was here, your wife
was pregnant. I'm like, Yeah, she's given birth any day now.
I was like, Oh, total weirdo. And then he goes, Wait, wait,
he's a total weirdo. Yeah, he's totally weird. I mean, he's a
very nice guy, but fan of the pod. He's he's he's a little off.
And he he goes,
what are you naming your son?
And I go, yeah, we're thinking about the name Bo.
And he goes, huh, haven't heard that before.
And I'm like, stop that abnormal.
It's like, you know, the people are named Bo.
And he's like, I've never heard that.
I'm like, what a funny thing to say the name of your kid.
And then he's like, he's like, nope, don't like it.
Not a name.
Yeah.
What's the rest of the name?
That's just the first part.
Yeah.
Is it Bovid?
Is it Bovid?
You can plug the fridge and I gotta go.
He also was like, I mean, I think he's Eastern European
somewhere.
Eastern? Is it Eastern? I said, I think he's he's Eastern European somewhere. Eastern.
He said Eastern.
I said, I dropped the end on that one.
I believe, I believe, I believe I did run that back.
He's Eastern European.
And he, it was so funny being like, hmm, that's, that's funny.
Yeah.
Haven't heard that one before.
Oh, oh, oh, no, you didn't.
But and you think, but he's from Easter.
He's probably never heard of Bo Jackson. What names is he heard of?
There's some, there's probably some wild ones. What's he coming with?
A lot of consonants. Yeah. His name was like Arnold.
That is a really good name. Yeah. So solid name.
So now he's like, how about Arnold? And you're like, yes, sir.
Yeah, actually, yeah, now that you say it, that would be wild.
He's like, now shut up and move.
So I can put this refrigerator in here by myself.
Huge bear of a man.
I like that guy.
His kid's names are Frigidaire and fucking Honeywell.
Did that ever happen to you when you said your name in your child Mars?
People kind of were like, do you spell it with a Z or a S stuff like that?
Or short for something?
But I remember just saying next.
Perfect. I thought it was dope.
I was like, yeah, obviously. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, and then the more you like, it's kind of like when you buy a car
and then you start seeing the car on the road more and the more like once you name
your kid that you start to realize there's all these kids named that in the world. they'll be like my name's bow or my name's mars it's like there's other
mars oh there's a community out yeah i'm not getting that there's a whole mars community yeah
they're out there has mars been in the wild and met other mars nope don't let her out of the house
no she's not going anywhere yeah that makes sense has she met another Mars? Online. And as a as a child, you know, as a new father, I
won a lot of advice. So yeah, don't let your kid leave the
house for the first 10 years is Blake's advice. Yeah, makes a
lot of sense. Yeah, right. Name them after a planet and then
don't let them look at the sky.
Part of that world. Where'd my name come from? Do not look up.
Don't look up.
You live in Roblox world and that's where you're going to stay.
I think we met at Mars the other day.
Was it a barista?
No, no, no, like a kid, another kid named Mars.
Oh, that's cool.
When we were on tour, some dude rolled up to me when we went to that Speak Easy bar. And he and his dudes all rolled up flying V,
Mighty Duck style towards me.
And they were like, all like-
It's knuckle puck time.
Right, exactly.
All the dudes behind him were like super buttoned up,
kind of like excited.
And I'm like, what's happening?
And he's just like, hey, I'm like, what's up guys?
He goes, my name is Anders.
And then they all lean in like,
and then I ended up talking to this guy for way too long.
Yeah.
But I just don't meet us in the wild.
And it's always a kinship.
There's a big long hug.
What did you think I was gonna say?
A big long what plate?
What did you think I was gonna say?
I was thinking a kiss on the cheek.
He was Estonian, which...
Estonian. I thought that was made up for Encino, man. Um, he was Estonian, which Estonian.
Sure. Isn't that I thought that was made up for Encino, man.
Yeah, basically. Where is Estonia? Yeah. Is that a real place?
Eastern, Eastern, I think it's an Eastern Eastern.
That's right by the, right by where all the bunnies are.
It's where the eggs are laid. Um, it's by Cadbury.
Yeah. It's right, right around that way. Cadbury land.
Uh, peeps. But it's so fucking, when you have a weird name or I should say ethnically different,
I don't fucking know. Uh, it's crazy when you meet somebody out in the wild and you're like,
what's up? Fucking people are so weird about being weird. Just it's cool, dude. You're different.
It's sick. Yeah. Be normal sucks. We're weird as fuck're weird as fuck and then you know eventually it's all gonna flip over
There's gonna be millions of Mars's and sky Rizzy's walking around and yeah the Johns of the world are gonna be like whoa
Well, yeah, there is no kid named Kevin
Kevin is like a big name for people our age like there's a lot of Kevin we all know a few Kevin's yeah a lot of Kevin's
for people our age like there's a lot of Kevin's we all know a few Kevin's yeah a lot of Kevin's mm-hmm ain't no Kevin's under 20 yeah I haven't met a Kevin in
a hot minute where's all the Kev's and if there are school shooter for sure okay
I feel like what about the names that were like kind of broy names that
everybody had like the Kyle's speaking of was Kyle a bro name where you're from
yeah I feel like I don't know if Kyle was a bro name.
Kyle, which is the name of like anyone that like where were a lot of like
flat brim hats and like we're into like monster trucks, monster truck pussy.
And even though a few of my best friends are named Kyle, I love I love Kyle's
regular monster trucks or monster truck pussy.
Just so we're like a truck p Pussy's obviously in this hypothetical. Yeah. Yeah, and I'm wondering if that it was so popular like for people our age
No one our age is then naming our kid Kyle, right? Yeah, kind of takes it off the board because you know so many
Yeah, and and I've never I've met maybe one Kyle I kind of like but
Usually I don't get along with Kyle. Is it the one we know?
Well, fuck you, Kyle!
Thank you, Kyle.
No, I feel like I really get along with Kyle.
So there's plenty of Kyle's in my life.
There was a very funny name joke on the show,
Mr. Mayor, which I don't know if it's,
I don't think it's still on,
but it was a pretty funny show.
And Bobby Moynihan from SNL fame was very, very, very funny on this show.
And obviously he's like 40 or something like that.
And his name was Jaden.
And I just thought that was the funniest fucking thing in the world ever.
Yeah, he was the first, he's the first Jaden.
The first Jaden.
Essentially, yeah.
They're like, and Jaden, come on in here.
And he's like, yeah, what's up? Just like every time they say
Jaden, you laugh hard because you know it's impossible that his
name could be Jaden. Yeah, I would like to, hey, if your name
is Jaden and you are 40 years old, I would say even 37 years
old. Yeah. 37 years old and up. Please reach out. We would like to meet you. We would
like to say hello. By the way, Bobby Moynihan, I'm not going to say sneaky old because I don't,
I want that to come off as an insult or whatever because age ain't nothing but a number and age
is beautiful. Well, he seems, he seems old trees are beautiful. What? He seems younger.
He seems younger than, I feel like we a lot of times, I thought he was younger than me. I
thought he was younger than me and he isn't. He's geriatric. A lot of times I thought it was younger than me I thought it was younger than me and he isn't he's Jerry after a lot of times
I tell you know I you tell people that you're 40 years old
I feel like the three of us we've always played younger
I'm TV and moves and shit and people are always like at least speaking for myself. They're like you you're 40
I'm like, yeah, they're like I did not see that one coming. I don't like you anymore
I like you less now everything you've done so Estonia is right by two other countries that I didn't know even
Existed Latvia kind of thought that was a fake. That's where dr. Doom is from I've heard of that sure and then
Belarus which I'm also like, whoa, what is that?
Belarus, what goes on in Belarus?
I bet it's off the chain.
I bet there's some, what's cool is I hope,
I hope, like remember when Anna showed us her computer
and you could see, Anna producer, Anna,
you could see exactly where people are listening
to the podcast and you're like, oh, there's people in Iran
that are listening to the podcast, like, like, oh, there's people in Iran that are listening to the pot like around three, like three people. Yeah. Is that Iran? You, you
run and I wrong. Ask her or you ran. Regardless, there's there was like people listening to
it there and you're like, that's not for them. No, she's saying, she's saying it's Iran.
Iran. Okay. It's science. I would not know. You know what? I'm not wrong. She's saying it's E-ROM. E-ROM.
It's science.
I wouldn't know.
I can't pronounce it.
What's it gonna be in 10 years?
I'm gonna change it every 10 years.
Hey, we're naming it Jaden.
It's now called The Land of Jaden.
There you go.
I like that.
Cool. She calls that?
Yeah, it's cool that you call that.
Welcome to Jaden.
No, it's cool that people in Estonia
are probably listening to the podcast. And big shout out cool that people in Estonia are probably listening to the podcast and big shout out to the people of Estonia
Absolutely, I want to get real place. We and we would love to vacation there. Their flag is pretty cool
Speaking of being old and people in let down and maybe I've talked about this already
But like when we did the the Bieber roast. Oh Adam, you were there, right?
No, I was not there.
He refused.
Yeah, he did.
I forgot you were not a believer at that point in your life.
Yeah, it's too bad.
I wasn't.
That's like for me.
Thank goodness you found the light.
We're there, we're hanging out after the show and I grab Emma and I bring her over and I'm
like, yo, Justin, this is my wife.
And he was like, you're married.
And I was like, yeah.
Hold up.
And he goes, whoa.
Oh, God.
Wait, how old are you?
And I think I was probably 35.
Get away from me, pervert.
I think I was 35 and had just had my first kid.
I think that's no, that can't be right.
I was 32 then.
And I go, I'm 32.
And his face, it was like I had died
He goes whoa, I didn't know that and then he was like
later
And then I think flew to Vegas with
Pete David sin for his birthday or some shit. Yeah
Emma was like did you see when he saw when you said how old you were and I was like, did you see when he saw, when you said how old you were?
And I was like, let's just keep walking. Let's just keep walking.
He was devastated.
He kind of was. He was shocked. Now he's 32. So what's up now?
Yeah, it was, I met him a couple of times. One time we're at this, like this bar and he was like,
yeah, so I saw you and Zach Efron like you guys, it looks like you got in good shape for that movie.
And I'm like, yeah, me and Zach, we're brothers in swole.
And he goes, what?
And I go, we're brothers in swole.
It's loud.
So we're kind of yelling this.
And I'm like, we're brothers in swole.
And I'm sort of dancing, you know?
And he's like grinding on him.
What does that even mean?
Yeah.
That's always not good to hear after you say something fun
Yeah, we go we work out together and he goes yeah, no, I know I said that and I go all right
And that was the conversation
Liz don't stop the music
Yeah, I was like what an awkward
Yeah, and by the way, this is not a slide on Justin Bieber. No, he rocks. I actually think he's perfect
I think he's perfect. He is the best. You rock. I blame I blame myself. I wake up every morning
I was like, I should have been funnier in the moment brothers and swole. Yeah, didn't make sense to him
I should have yeah in the moment should have been should have been funnier for Justin, you know
Yeah, you're kind of put when you meet these, sexy pop stars, you're put on the spot.
Yeah, and it, you know.
I feel like we're always pretty leaned forward
when it comes to our comedy.
And when you meet people, you're leaned forward.
You meet a pop star, suddenly you're on your heels.
Yeah, you're Fat Joe.
Yeah.
You're in a defensive, you're leaning back.
You're leaning back.
You are.
You're fat, you're fat Joe in the whole situation.
Yeah, Joey crack.
And I guess you just, you're fat Joe in the whole situation. Yeah, Joey crack
And I guess you just you can't let that happen. You always got a lane in always you do yeah You do you should have doubled down and admit it once you never know like for me
I didn't know Justin Bieber was gonna be at this bar. I was at this like club
Did you go in the bathroom and and tuck your shirt in?
Yeah, I went in the bathroom flushed a jacket down the toilet.
I went in the bathroom.
I wetted my hair.
He pulled the fire alarm.
Did you wet your hair to come talk to him?
All right.
That's what I'm saying.
You should have doubled down and then immediately took your shirt off.
And he probably would have thought that was hilarious.
Right.
Dude.
Yeah.
I said, brothers in swole.
And then I ripped my shirt off and start flexing for him.
Yeah.
Just lean into it and then break a glass over your head
and be like, oh, that happens.
You blink your eyes and somehow you've transported
to outside the club.
I don't know what happened.
Two giant men are standing in front of you
and you're like, I don't know what just happened.
It was just a joke.
Jesus.
That was a I wonder if I could, if they would even allow me into that club,
because that's the club that like, what is it, Dahlia's? Dahlia's on what? Santa Monica?
Dahlia's, right?
You're asking the wrong guy.
I believe so. It was very cool supper club.
I mean, you say supper club, it's cool.
You know, you see Drake there. You see Bieber there. You there, you end up talking,
meeting all these cool people.
I bet now, because I went there like eight, seven,
eight years ago.
And I bet now, if I showed up and was like,
yo, yo, ready to come in, you're like,
if you say yo, yo twice, you're not allowed.
I'm just a young man ready to get his,
I said you're not getting in here with that shirt on.
Yo, ready to throw down.
I'm trying to get my swerve on.
What up? Yo, yo.
Brothers in swole.
I'm a brother in swole and they they like immediately put the velvet rope back on
its little hook. They're like, no.
And then Sky Rizzy gets out of the back of an escalator of her town car and they're
like, come on in.
Yeah. Come on in.
I mean, this time comes for us all.
Obviously, Bieber would still be let in somewhere, but I feel like, come on in. Yeah. Come on in. I mean, this time comes for us all. Obviously, Bieber would still be let in somewhere.
But I feel like, yeah, oh, yeah.
Even he had not that he's positioned himself
out of the limelight or whatever, but like,
he's not really out like that anymore.
I don't think he gives a fuck anymore.
I think he chilled out.
Well, he has a medical condition.
Does he? Yeah.
He's currently battling something.
Oh, shit. Yeah. I didn't know that happens.
Happens to the best of us.
Oh, sir, I don't like it.
He he does have it.
So something like his eyes, his face, facial muscles,
twitch and too hot.
Oh, Ramsey Hunt syndrome, a rare condition that has paralyzed one side of his face.
Oh, my God.
So yeah.
But that doesn't mean he can't hit a club.
He just has to drink sideways.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, like do the Murphy Lee mask.
Gotta lean into that.
Let me reach into his DMs and tell him.
Yeah.
Yeah, we should tell him just to wear the Murphy Lee mask
and then let's party.
And he's like, who the fuck is Murphy Lee, you idiot?
How old are you?
St. Lunatics, dude, Nelly.
St. Lunatics, bro.
St. like, I truly hate, like I truly hate you.
I truly hate you, man.
I truly hate you would be the funniest thing.
It'd be cool if he was the fourth guy on the podcast
and that would be cool.
He kind of just listened
and he was like the barometer for like,
when it was actually funny or not.
Cause he loved work all, like he was stoked to meet me
and then less stoked when I said brother in small, he didn't get it, didn't understand.
Yeah.
Maybe he just didn't hear me.
And then upon the repeat, it wasn't as good as the first time.
Not sure.
But a weird.
That was also that I met John Mayer at that club.
And John, it was the second time I had met him and he had since gotten sober
Yeah, and he was at this club, but drinking like soda water and he was like, hey, I just wanted to say like
I'm so sorry about the first time we met. I
Was making fun of you and I just I I feel really bad about it
You know and I don't drink anymore and that's that that's part of it
And I'm like I did not know he was making fun of me, dude
Amazing what's that story? Yeah, what the hell was that? I met it? I met him at some at some
Party and he I thought we were just getting along evidently. He was like throwing shade at me
Uh-huh and like shitting on me, but I had no clue. I did not remember him making fun of me at all
I thought we were just chatting it up when he was saying clown boy say something funny clown boy
I don't really remember the conversation, but I don't remember him making fun of me, but in his memory
He was like I was shitting on you. I was making fun of you, right? And I'm so sorry about that
And I was like, oh, okay.
Every time he talked to you, he was like, yeah,
there, there, okay, sure.
I'm Adam.
Oh, you're in a show.
I'm dying to like just run the tape on that.
Yeah.
I bet he was just saying some sly shit
that I just wasn't catching because, you know,
I'm an idiot, I'm a fucking idiot.
I'm like, where's this going?
Because I'm a fucking idiot.
You know, because I'm not really smart.
Into the moron.
I don't catch a little slight.
What's the I can't think of the word.
I'm a dumbass.
It happens to the best of us.
Well, you did.
You to be fair, you probably weren't leaning in.
I was on my heels.
I'm meeting cool pop stars. You saw John Mayer. You leaned back. Yeah probably weren't leaning in. I was too. I was on my heels. I'm meeting cool pop stars.
You saw John Mayer.
You leaned back?
Yeah, I was leaning back.
You fat jotted it when you needed the big punisher.
I sure did.
Any takebacks, any apologies, any epic slams, guys?
What was I going to take back?
There was something I wanted to take back.
I don't know, bitch.
I should have wrote it down.
There's no take backs for me. I would I would I would like to say no shade against Justin Bieber or
What's his name?
Sure, okay, are we talking about John Mayer?
Dude big time go ahead big time go ahead. Sorry. I was shitting on him, but
No, a fans of both those guys
Not trying to throw any shade Not gonna give them flowers because that's dangerous to do. I don't do but I would I wouldn't like to say hello
And I'd love to be invited back to the club
I did get John Mayer's number
We exchanged numbers. He's a very nice guy, very cool. He was like,
hit me up sometime. I think we're talking about watches or something.
Oh, you thought that was a real number?
Yeah, dude. I texted him. I texted him once, did not get a response back. So,
you know, that happens. Also, same thing happened with Chappelle. I got Chappelle's
number. He was like, hit me up.
Yeah. They're good friends. I assume they gave you the same number that goes
It was just 69 69 420. Um, so I don't know why I didn't you were like funny, dude
Fucking we are brothers in phone numbers. What brothers in funny, dude
brothers in phone numbers
69
Takebacks any apologies any epic slams? No seems like John Mayer got all the slams this morning. Yeah, I
Mean if the baby if the baby's here
Yeah, congratulations. Thank you. Yeah, if the baby's not here. What's your problem, dude? Keep waiting. That's your shit together
Well, I think even the next couple podcasts
The baby won't be here because we are stacking them up.
So I do have a little alone time with the baby.
So I don't have to be working for a little while.
And by the way, oh, this podcast is such heavy work.
God, it's so hard.
Yeah, it's big lifting dude to set aside the hour.
It's so hard to get on this podcast.
And big lifting.
It is big lifting.
Hypothetically, this is just a big lift here. That's a big lift. I want to take back my hypothetical comment. I know what it means,
and I shouldn't have doubted myself. You are so dumb. I obviously had it right on the tip of my
tongue. You're leaned back. I think you knew what the word was, but you didn't. I don't think you
did use it. I misused it. And people misuse words every day, and they don't always
have...
I don't think that... I know Adam hasn't.
They don't always have a chance to apologize or take it back.
Dude, I never misuse words. You know that. I just can't speak.
And you can take that shit to Eastern Europe, buddy.
Come on, Adam.
I know what words I'm saying. I just can't speak and you could say that shit to Eastern Europe. Yeah, I know what words. I'm saying
I just can't say them. Okay
Okay, the tip of the tongue is the tip of the tip of the tongue. I got nothing. I got nothing
I'm sorry. I just jumped on your throat. You're happy leather. Yeah, thank you
leather
Yeah, I love leather. I think I misspoke yellow. I said yellow
I think I misspoke yellow. I said yellow
And this might be a nice way to end it but Blake we're not buzzing off anymore honestly, I
Don't have any buzz. That's fine. That's fine cuz you know why we're not about buzz balls. We're about
Zoa clock it is and it's still damp January right now. So um, I am abstaining
Is there a fun play on words we got here buzz off was real good time?
Zoa
Zoa I want some
Zoa, let's drink some Moa of Zola
Moa of Zola
Moa of Zola
We're gonna workshop that
Yeah, we're gonna work on that
We'll have one Moa of Zola, we'll hear it next week on
On This is We're gonna workshop that. We're gonna work on that. One mawaza. We'll hear it next week on... On...
This is...
This is...
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