This Is Important - Ep 191: Did Adam Quit Caffeine?!?
Episode Date: March 12, 2024Today, this is what's important: Throats, Blake's birthday party, baby Beau, prison wardens, the long con, novetly clothing, aphrodisiacs, caffiene, New Orleans, sports, subscribing on Youtube, & ...more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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What up?
I am Dramos host of the Life as a Gringo podcast.
This is a show for the no sabo kids, the 200%ers.
Here we celebrate your otherness and embrace
living in the gray area.
Every Tuesday, I'll be bringing you conversations
around personal growth, issues affecting the Latin community,
and much more than every Thursday,
I'll be tackling trending stories and current events
from our community.
Listen to Life as a Gringo on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.
Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeart Radio, the show where we talk about what's
obviously most critically, crucially important. Today on This Is Important, You're just a 40 year old dad wondering how things work now.
The hardest part about being a prison warden is not fucking all the prisoners.
I'm a soft, punchy, fat, ugly piece of shit right now.
And here we go
I had a heck of a clap
Fucking boys, dude, lots lots to chitchat about here. Whoo, so much. Mm-hmm so much to chitchat Blake, are you all right? What's going on? I don't know.
I'm not. I'm trying to slam a Zoa too fast. What's happening? Yeah, did you
fuck up a Zoa? No, never. I can never slam a Zoa. Or did you drink something that wasn't a Zoa?
Dude, that's the thing about Zoa is you can't slam them too fast unless there's some sort of legal
thing saying that you can in which case we were
starting the podcast now. Yeah and three two one. We're back.
Bopos out! No I think I coughed so hard I loosened up one of those you know those
little nodules that grow on your in your throat that make your breath smell like
dog shit. Have you ever heard of those? They're like little yellow. I guess I just
have never heard it put that way
You know what I'm talking about. I don't little nodules that make your breath. What are they called?
What are they called? They're like yellow
They're these yellow things that form like in the back of like your mouth and like I've seen some videos on Instagram
Where you like push on your shit and then like helps them squirt out, but they smell like shit dude
They smell really bad
um
Maybe you need to see a doctor
And I'm not even joking dude. I've never I'm not kidding at all. I've never heard of this really that is so
Back me up Adam is like mr. Used to have the worst back of the throat, Mr. used to have the worst back of the throat I've ever felt.
Wait.
The worst back of the throat.
Felt.
I mean, because then you got your tonsils pulled out, right?
Adam?
I, yeah, I had a tonsil.
I had my tonsils taken out.
Oh, I got it.
Because you used to get like tonsillitis or what was it?
I used to get, no, what is it, strep throat all the time.
Yeah. Oh, sick.
And that was gross. And that was called tonsil stones.
They're called tonsil stones. Yeah. And they're these like these yellow formations that like are in like the back
of your mouth. And then like some people who are like back of your mouth.
You definitely have had one accumulate.
And producers for this YouTube, for the YouTube bit,
please show a little video of what the fuck Blake
is talking about, please.
No, don't.
Ooh.
No, please do.
I don't know what you're talking about.
I've definitely used a tongue scraper and been like,
wow, look at all that, that's bad breath.
But the pinching of the squeezing of the oozing
So here all right, so I guess walk us through this you and you've had that you know
Yeah, yeah, I've had little ones develop back there. That's why you know you open your mouth so we can see
No, no come close to the camera
No, that seems yeah, that's to the camera, pal. No, that seems, stick out your tongue. That's it.
And now say, let me gobble.
I'll make a oboe.
Yeah, I never realized how much the back of your throat
looks inviting.
So wait, so you just press the side of your cheeks
and then these little fucking gremlins up here and?
Well, people with real severe cases of tonsil stones like
You know they have halitosis this could be the cause of your halitosis
But if you watch some of course YouTube really will give you the most gnarliest versions of it
But you watch it in them like the dentist will like push I like right here and then all of this shit will squirt out
It's like,
oh my God, I'm so foul.
I would love to see a video.
Producers, please give us a video.
It's really gross.
Thank you, producer.
Say it.
And so Blake, you have these?
I've gotten one every now and then.
I don't know if I've ever, can we be real with each other for just a moment?
I will.
I don't think I've ever smelled any of your breaths and been like that's really bad. Yeah, I don't think so
Oh, thank God because often I'm like is my breath terrible because we've all met people and talk to them on various occasions
Where you're like, oh, it's bad again. Yeah, this is a thing
How do they not know?
Here's the thing I think
Because you're the one that has had these weird stones that none of us have ever heard of.
Pizza, pizza.
Okay.
And you always have mints.
I noticed that you always have a mint.
You're always chewing a gum.
I chew gum.
Mm-hmm.
Maybe you have these often and you're trying to conceal.
Is that what's happening?
Mm-hmm.
No, I'm just very, I very much don't want to be the bad breath guy.
I don't want to be that.
Well, I think I got that from my father.
My father chews gum all the time, whether I'm drinking beer,
I'll still chew gum, like I just...
I have to. Yeah, it's crazy.
I'm crazy.
Dude, you're so nuts.
Yeah, I'm a dude.
Being your friend sometimes is too much.
So speaking of Blake being nuts,
dude, happy 40th birthday, buddy.
That was quite a banger we went to the other night.
Oh, and I'm so glad all my friends got to be there.
Thank you.
Did people still say getting tore up from the floor up?
I'm drawn to now.
Yeah, they should.
Yeah, well, that was us. Yeah,
we've really got it in. Okay. So there's a, Todd just sent a video of these stones. My god,
dude, I'm going to fucking vom. Yeah. I told you, I told you, it looks like maggots coming out of
the back of your mouth. Oh, it really does. It's disgusting. And you've had this. No, no, no, no,
not to that severity. I'm trying to tell you. I feel like you're walking it back and you've had this no no no no not to that severity I'm trying to tell you I feel like you're walking it back
And you don't know because you're not watching the video so you don't know the severity
I don't have to I know what you're watching. I'm not saying anything that it just doesn't look great
Disturbing no wait until they poke out these little no it's bad. Wait wait wait wait wait wait. Is it just pus?
Yeah, it's like a it's like a deposit of, of, of something.
I don't know.
A something.
But you got to really be aware of that shit and get it out of there.
Not for me.
I don't like it.
Yeah.
I've never seen anything like that.
No, sir.
I do not like it.
Dude, the smell of them is, it's insane.
It's disgusting.
The smell of diarrhea.
Okay.
So, and by the way, I was, I was all up in your business on on your 40th
giving you hugs, giving you a little no giz, you know, you got me.
So being very physical with you.
Didn't notice your breath stinking, dude.
So happy 40.
Okay, happy 40th birthday.
Thank you so much.
Is that why you drink Jager?
It's got a little liquorish, a little sense.
Yeah, it's like a little mouthwash.
It's a delicious brown mouthwash. Yeah. So explain to us the throw down, because it was at this sick
bar, we say in the name of the bar, we're blowing up the spot of the bar.
I suppose we could. I mean, you tagged it on Instagram.
Is that Carlitos Way? Yeah, Carlitos Way in the studio city. It was very sick.
I remember going to that bar back in the day when it was in Van Nuys
and he thought it was like from the movie Carlitos Way. Right. And I was like, yeah, it's
Carlitos Way. I wonder if they filmed it here or something. I have no idea. Right. And then
any block go from the bro. And then it's just a guy named Carlito. Just a guy named Carlito.
Yeah, I'm still going to send it.
Very specific way.
That threw me for a fucking loop when this just regular dude came up and was like, hey,
this is my way. My name is Carlito.
Yeah.
I was blown away.
Yeah.
Well, that's part of it.
That's his way.
It's a blow.
I'll blow you away.
My way.
Carlito's way.
Exactly.
You liked it, didn't you?
And then there was like a sick taco spot in the...
Cactus Tacos.
Cactus Tacos that we really fucked up.
That was great.
Anybody in the Los Angeles area, if you're familiar with cactus tacos, it's one of my
favorite burritos spots.
It's delicious.
So you go burrito.
You don't go taco.
No, I go against the grain.
I do go burrito.
I went street taco. Yeah, how was I went I went street talk. Oh, yeah
How was it really good dude? And by the way a
Stank it's got a stank on them does it oh, yeah, dude because I I was the taco sort of disintegrated
You know how they do sometimes like the like the tortilla. Yeah, did they double?
Yeah, I don't know what happened. I think it was an extra juicy batch
and it just disintegrated.
And so I was like eating it with my fingers.
And my fingers reeked of...
Taco?
Of carne asada for two days, dude.
And I would just kept giving little whiffs of carne asada
and I'm like, ooh, that's a spicy dude.
The cause of diarrhea.
I'd let my baby do a little suckle on the finger just
to get him in the good stuff, dude.
Wait a minute.
Just get a hit of the good stuff.
Get him on that spicy diet.
Start spreading the news.
Oh, yeah.
I guess I dropped a little news there on him.
I didn't even mean to.
Yeah, wait a minute.
Hold on.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Cats out the bag.
Okey-dokey.
And I called my child the cat.
Oh my god. Out of the human sack. That is my wife.
Cats out the bag. Take backs. Early apologies. Bo Bo is arrived, dude. Little bobo child.
Bo has arrived, baby.
Dude, my favorite part is asking everybody, you know, and I think I said this on
a previous podcast of things that to make fun of him for with his name, Bo, boner dude. Yeah,
the little boner is here. So, wow dude. He's fucking cool. Yeah, is he cool? Are you digging him
already? Yeah. So far? Yeah. For real? Yeah. Is he a bitch? Is he a already? Is he? Yeah. So far? Yeah.
For real?
Is he a bitch?
Is he a bitch or an asshole?
Yeah.
You should know by now.
No, I think he's a leaning asshole.
Already?
Boy, he's not a bitch.
I'll say that.
He's like, I will not have that in my house.
But watch it, bitch.
No, he's very much like, he just wants to eat all the time. You know, yeah, he's like his daddy
Uh-huh like his daddy. He's much like his daddy. He just wants the gobble
And if you don't have like if he'll get real saucy if you're holding him and you don't have a titty to suck on
Sure, you're like he'll be fine for a while and then he'll just do that little baby thing where I'll just open his mouth
He'll be fine for a while and then he'll just do that little baby thing where he'll just open his mouth
Looks cool Adam just did that look psychotic
That's what Adam looks like when he's drunk he's trying to get it on. That's what he looks like when he's with the carnivorous side of Soco.
Look me gobble.
Your taco, sir.
Let me gobble.
Yeah.
You got to find your way with your mouth.
Just use your fingers, sir.
I mean, my god, dude.
I mean, as far as babies go, he's really dope.
He's really, really cool.
That's cool.
Your favorite ever, you think?
My favorite ever.
So I've held about, I want to say, maybe five babies.
And out of those five babies, top three for sure.
For sure.
OK.
Without a doubt.
Without a doubt.
I love it, dude.
No, my favorite baby, obviously, guys.
That works out well.
I think that'll work out to your benefit you should you want to see him?
You want to see him? Do we want to see him? Is he laying at your feet right now?
You keep talking about it. You want to see we keep talking about okay?
She's like dude, please I
Was just taking it. She's like I finally just like quit we haven't posted we didn't even post about them. You know what?
Happens is when you have a child you no longer give a shit about posting on the internet it like I stopped caring about
That's gonna come back and then I'll finally get my tiktok off the fucking ground
You're not it being a daddy influencer. You know, yeah, I should lean in. I want to go to your page to see what diapers to buy.
Oh, my God.
Look at that asshole.
Oh, my God.
Hey, guys, who am I? Who am I?
Who am I?
Oh, my God.
Are you his dad?
You're Kyle.
Yeah, I'm Kyle.
Oh, you're Kyle.
You're a fucking disaster, my guy.
Is that a robot?
Oh, my gosh.
Look at him. Look at little Beau. He's guy. Is that a robot? Oh my gosh. Look at, look at Lil Bo.
He's touching your face.
This is Lil Bo, Bo. Hey, wait.
The second, the second guest on the podcast.
That sounds like a...
Did you report that for the board?
For sure.
What else, what else you got?
Yeah?
Yeah, you being a good boy?
Yeah. Okay, he is.
You've got oozing throat stones there.
Yeah, your breath stinks.
Wow, this is really, this is a podcast first.
Yeah, like it, like it.
Looking bad.
Hi, hi Bo.
Yeah, he's a star, dude.
Did we mention this is episodes brought to you by Gerber.
Send my man some baby food.
Absolutely, and Zola. He said him that Zola stuff. Do we mention this is episodes brought to you by Gerber? Send my man some baby food. Absolutely.
And Zola.
Yeah, that's Zola stuff.
Let's get on a Zola.
Say goodbye.
Say goodbye, everybody.
Bye, Bo.
Lady.
Hi, Khlo.
Khlo and Bo.
Khlo and Bo.
What do you know?
Khlo and Bo.
Did you guys, did you guys realize that before?
Yeah, I don't know if that was before or like the first time I said to my parents like,
is Chloe and Bo here or where are they in the house?
And I go, Chloe and Bo are on the couch.
And then I was like, oh, you're brain exploded.
Oh my God.
You're like, you're like, Chloe.
Ah, Chloe.
Chloe, look what I just made up.
Chloe and Bo.
How cool is that?
It's dangerous.
It's because they work so well.
You're going to kind of want to figure out where you fit into everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, what sucks is like, you know, I have to go.
I have to leave the house and go do stuff, you know, throughout the day.
That sucks.
Yeah, that sucks.
It does suck. And, uh, and then I come home and Chloe's just spent like a good like five, six hours with the
baby just sucking on her beautiful tits.
Right.
And I don't have any milk in my tits and I have nothing to give.
Yeah, welcome to the fatherhood.
And then I can immediately tell like, he doesn't fuck with me anymore.
Like it'll take like a few hours of me rocking him and put him on my knees like I do and doing
a little jiggles and wiggles.
And then he'll come back around and be like, all right, OK, this guy's not too bad.
Wait, this is fun.
Wait, do you have tits?
No, I got a guy.
He doesn't understand your comedy yet.
Just wait, he's going to get it eventually.
That is true.
That is true. That is true
Did you do the face at him like you look like this?
Yeah, I like that I do a lot of that and when he cries I try I cry back in his face
Always good. Yeah, you have to do that through high school. It doesn't quite
Oh, I'm crying. I'm like, waaaaaah.
Yeah, and then it just increases.
I'm hungry all the time.
That's cool, dude.
Sounds like you're doing great.
Yeah, it's going great.
It's super easy.
You know, super easy.
Yeah.
Goonay!
Stay at home, parents.
Yeah, have a couple more.
I'm not really sure what the hollabaloo's about.
Yeah, I don't get it.
I don't get why anyone complains about it,
because it's a piece of freakin cake
Until it until it isn't you know it is interesting people do say it's the hardest job in the world
And I know that that's kind of like nope. Yeah, Cole. It's it's weird that like people don't go loyal like what like yep
I'm kind of like it's not easy for sure, but why are we saying hardest job in the world? It's not
I've watched Mike row and
The hardest job well those aren't hard jobs. Those are dirty specifically dirty, but they're also very hard
Have you seen somebody clean a windmill that shit is hard as fuck dude and scary and not that dirty
No, can we get a video of that please man? That shit is treacherous
You have to climb up them and shit?
Yeah, no, but the way people like hype,
they try to scare you off, like when Chloe's like,
nine months pregnant and we're gonna be do any day.
People like try to scare you off of having the child.
They're like, oh my God, get ready.
Oh, you think you know you know you have no idea.
I was seeing it as more of like a charitable thing to be like giving like their flowers like hey, it's the hardest job in the world.
And it's like there's way harder job being a being a police or like a warden or whatever the person who works in warden.
Yeah, sure. Prison warden. Hard job.
Why? Because you're like, I'm too too sexy like all these guys want to fuck me
And it's like kind of hard to bat all these guys because the guys in prison work out so much and they're like they're also kind of
Huh?
Yeah, okay, I'm glad we're all
Okay, captain obvious over here
Not fucking all the prisoners.
Yeah, like you have the nightstand.
Well, because in your regular life,
you're not the sexiest guy.
You're not a hot piece of ass just walking down the street.
But if you're a prison warden, you know.
Yeah, you're walking through.
You got the keys.
You can give, you know.
Yeah, give him a little jingle jangle.
A little jingle jangle, same.
Hey, boys.
Is that the code?
What you reading, boys?
Yeah, you want to go to lunch a little early,
get an extra string cheese or whatever.
Save some of that jangam for me.
Warden says you get to go early.
Wait, are we saying Warden?
Is it Warden?
What's the part?
It's just like the guard. I'm saying like the guard no we're saying the warden
So so he tells the guards stand down stand down
Warden coming through
Exactly I'm watching him. I'm watching him. Warden coming through. Warden looks like the dude on YouTube with the big booty. Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, with the khaki pants.
Yeah, dude.
The dude that's trying to be me so fucking hard, dude.
It's crazy.
God, chill.
It's crazy.
Hot, hot, hot, hot.
Can you?
So, you're saying it's probably problematic if you are awarding with a big fat juicy ass,
or maybe you run a real tight shit. But is there one out there that doesn't have it? I feel like that's a pre-wreck like yeah
How you get the gig is they they you'll be able to put all the inmates in like a trance where it's like
They're going crazy than they are like sending the warden. He comes in suddenly
Everybody's going right right to sleep. Ass worship.
That's why Shawshank was flawed.
That dude did not have a good ass.
That guy with the glasses.
You remember the prison one?
I know exactly who you're talking about.
I feel like he had a little something.
Did he have a dumper?
He said his booty was obtuse.
That's right.
Well, dude, all I know is the girl that I used to work with
at the service deadly, and when I worked for the girl that I used to work with at the service deadly,
and when I worked for the Pavilion supermarket,
and I worked in the service deadly,
the girl who worked with me, she had an enormous ass.
She then left, and last I checked,
she's a warden of a prison, and I'm not making this up.
I swear to God.
Her mom, or her mom or her dad, I can't remember,
was like the warden and then she followed in
his or her footsteps and then became the warden.
An enormous ass dude.
Okay.
Well, I feel like, yeah, you kind of got to have
some haunches on you.
So, I mean, and that is the hardest job in the world
because you are, how are you going to get any work done
because you're going to be fucking all these inmates
all the time, you know?
That's so difficult.
So it's basically, it might be that and then Parenthood.
Like that being a warden because you're fucking
all the prisoners and then Parenthood.
And maybe a few others
before that, but parenthood maybe top 10. Yeah. Well, the, yeah, the windmill cleaner.
Yeah. It's just really tough. Yeah. I always like when we uncover, we really kind of like
stop joking. Yeah. And like, get into like what I like to call real shit. You know,
yeah, man. Thank you. Feels good, man. It does. Thank God. Feels good. This is 40.
This is 40. We're all here.
We've all made it, huh?
This is, we all were all old.
Are you the caboose?
Yeah, I finally pulled up to the station
and I'm loving it.
Youngblood.
I'm loving it, baby.
Feels good.
What up?
I am Dramos host of the Life as a Gringo podcast.
Now this is a show for the no sabo kids, the 200%ers.
Here we celebrate your otherness and embrace living in the gray area.
If you ever felt like you were always too much this while also never being enough that,
this is the podcast for you.
Every Tuesday I'll be
bringing you conversations around personal growth, issues affecting the Latin community,
and much more via my own personal stories along with interviews with inspiring thought
leaders from our community. Then every Thursday I'll be tackling trending stories and current
events from our community that you need to know. So much of what makes our community
so beautiful is our diversity yet.
Too often, those of us who don't fit into this dumb,
stereotypical box of whatever it means to be Latino
are left without a voice or just forgotten about.
On this show, I celebrate the uniqueness of our culture
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Yeah, so parenthood is so far pretty easy.
Yeah, well, at this stage, the child is just kind of like a worm, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
Just you got to feed him all the time all the time. Yeah, my god my god
I can't stop eating
Like a weed it is weird because they're like oh you grow so much just cherish these moments because he's always changing
And you're like bullshit. He's gonna be a little tiny little tiny baby for months and months and then he's gonna sprout and wings and he's gonna grow
Dude, he's growing so fucking much like I was really surprised by like if you gain two pounds
And you came out you're only like seven pounds six pounds. Yeah, and then you gain two three pounds
That's have your fucking body weight. Yeah, it's crazy, right?
That's huge dude. Yeah. Yeah
Again, I love when we talk about these kind of
I
Mean it's wild you look at photos from day one and then now we're two weeks into it
And you're like this is a different who swapped out the babies and and gave us this beefy little boy
You know, what's a trip? I'm sorry, you said they don't change how they look
and now you're saying who swapped the baby out?
I'm so confused.
No, that's what I thought.
I thought they don't really change.
They're like just tiny babies.
And then now I'm like, oh shit.
No, the face mutates too.
Yeah, oh yeah.
These cheeks are fucking some basset hound just.
They're getting chalkier.
Droopy dogs.
You know how when your baby first comes out
and you like swear it's like really cute?
Like super cute?
When once it grows up, it just goes a couple months,
you'll look back at those photos and you'll be like,
oh my gosh, our baby was actually
really freaking weird looking.
Right, alien.
For sure.
Yeah.
So wait, so when I showed you guys the photos of my baby and you guys like well
What a little cutie hey little handsome guy. Yeah, you were you were lying just saying I think mine was an otter reply that I have
Yeah, super cute it looks like you
It's like an algorithm thing it looks like you now at 40 it looks like you. Yeah. It just knows. It's like an algorithm thing.
It looks like you now at 40.
It looks like you now.
Oh, OMG. Has your eyes.
It just says so cool. Nice. Happy for you.
Look at lips.
We had to have to do like an emergency, not emergency,
but like a last minute C-section.
We're going to do like a vaginal birth. And then last minute. section, we're gonna do like a the vaginal birth and
Very shagged yelling last minute. They were like we have to do a C section and
Did you yell oh my oh?
Yeah, I was I we both were like actually
Once Chloe like felt good and it was she was doing fine post C section
Kind of stoked because the baby comes out looking like a baby and not a fucking alien that just had to go through this black hole.
Yeah, it's preferred.
Yeah, you can you can get that.
You can post that baby right on Instagram right away.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right away. No pinhead, no nothing like that.
We didn't. We didn't.
We were really holding holding on tight to these photos.
I don't know why I figured I'd be fucking just blasting them out
But I will be I will even when I saw you at my birthday. I'm like what the fuck dude
I've seen two pictures like what the fuck is going on here. I want to see more photos even though
You I just explained that the baby is really weird like wants proof. Yeah more than anything
I just want proof. He was like I've only seen two photos They didn't look like I thought this is a long con with Chloe. I've just dated her for nine years and
Really weird really weird rude
We're on to you. I just paid this beautiful woman to date me for nine years and then fake half my baby
It's just a proof to me. You're straight
Okay half my baby. It's just approved to me. You're straight. Okay, you're straight.
Dude. Okay. See, you're straight. Have a baby there. See? Okay.
Well, I did. And I don't want to become a warden.
What am I paying you now, Chloe? We need to figure out how to have a baby.
And I'll pay you whatever. Don't worry about it.
We'll make it work.
The warden has spoken.
Maybe you should just come out.
Oh, okay, yeah, it's just that easy.
Okay.
Yeah, right, okay.
In Hollywood?
Why don't you come out?
You know what would happen on the podcast?
Jesus, they would tear me to shreds.
How about you just have the baby come out now?
In fact, I feel I feel like that would change our dynamics so much if one of us just came out and was like
I'm gay and then we would be so much nicer to each other
I feel like we would just yeah, there's no way you don't think you know for the first few weeks
We'd be really nice to you. Yeah, that's what I think. I think I think it'd be like
Oh, wow, yeah, and then it'd be like, oh, yeah, Blake, why don't you go gobble 20 dicks? I know you
want to. I'm gonna dig dig a couple. Yeah, we would get comfortable with it. I think it
would be the first 20 minutes of an episode. And what'd you say it was gonna be? How long?
Yeah, I would say a couple weeks, but you I mean, you might be right. You might be right.
Yeah. Knowing us, dude, honestly, you guys were so knowing our homophobia dude when we can finally just
let it rip knowing how scared we are you guys were so supportive for 15 minutes
yeah we're asking you to rate us so fast yeah that's exactly what it would be yes
well it's very cool for you to come out now that you're out and we're talking and we're talking about Blake now, right?
Now that it's getting real. Yeah, we're now we're talking about Blake. Sure
I'm the freaking straightest dude, you know, bro when you're when you're second dick you put your hair up or dude
And what's what's cool is you can't deny it
because then you're super homophobic
and that's what you can't be.
Honestly, I'm not fully gonna say I'm not.
I'm just, I am gay.
I'm so gay I'm not that I am.
If anything, I'm bisexual as fuck, dude.
Are you kidding me?
Yeah, all right, okay.
Give me that.
I'll wear that badge with honor, okay? Anything good. I feel like that's a good shirt that Blake would own that says like, I'm bi, B. Give me that. I'll wear that badge with honor, okay?
Anything good?
I feel like that's a good shirt that Blake would own.
It says like, I'm bi, B-U-Y, I'm bisexual.
Yeah.
What was it on?
Like a gas station shirt.
Yeah, but what does that mean?
Like you buy, you pay for sex, I'm bi, sexual.
I'm bisexual, I love prostitutes.
I feel like, I promise you that shirt exists.
I don't even understand the shirt. Explain the shirt, like. U. Y. B. U. Y. Bye bye
Bisexual oh okay, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah
I know I'm saying B. U. Y. And in my head it was B. Y. E. Like goodbye
That's cuz I'm a fucking idiot, right? Well, that's I'm sure that's out there too. I'm bisexual as soon as we
I'm I'm I'm Dubai. I'm Dubai sexual when I go to Dubai
I'm bisexual you buy me a beer I get sexual dude
the fact that
bisexual
This is this is bisexual be you why if you buy me something, this is, this is bisexual B.U.Y.
If you buy me something, I get sexual.
This one says, I'm bisexual, you buy me food and I get sexual.
Something.
Dude, that's a weird one, because you see those videos every once in a while, like the
one way to get your girl, you know, I don't know, whatever, like get her going.
And then it's just like him, like bringing her eggs in bed or whatever.
And I'm like, nothing.
I don't, I, food does not get me horny even a little bit.
Yeah.
I know I'm like, you know what I mean?
I never, if, if, if my girl gave me a pizza, I wouldn't be like, the time is now.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, hey baby, where's the pizza?
You want, you want an order pop?
Can I just do one more t-shirt and then we'll get in there how food is gross and
Sickle baby. Let me give you that food
This shirt says I'm so done with men and then it says oh look a penis
People are buying this I like um, I don't even have to click this link
I know a couple good ones like the one's like, it's not a bald spot.
It's a, I don't know.
Yup.
It's like a solar panel for a sex machine.
Yeah, there you go.
There it is.
That one's pretty good.
Yeah.
Or like, I gave up sex for a length.
My dad had like that hat or something, or he had something that said that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's not a bald spot.
It's a solar panel for a sex machine.
That's just kind of hard.
I get, I mean, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I guess.
Food is kind of gross when it comes to like not turning, you know, like.
Don't get.
Yeah, I've never been offered food and been like, no.
I always thought about the the chocolate covered
Remember in the 90s. It was all chocolate covered strawberries were like a aphrodisiac. Yeah, what's up with that? That shit's hot, dude
There's no food that turns you on I feel like that's still around. I feel like if that's not like sexual
I feel like people got off of
Aphrodisiacs I feel like in the 90s
people got off of Aphrodisiacs. I feel like in the 90s, it was like everything was in Aphrodisiac and it was like oysters and strawberries and cool water cologne.
And if you, those three...
You're just describing your personality now, but go ahead.
Those three things mixed together and they're all gonna want to go.
Adam, Adam, just...
I'm gonna come. If anything that has that kind of connotation is like green, I only eat green M&Ms. Spaces together and they're all gonna want to go Adam Adam just
Anything that has that kind of connotations like green. I'll eat green M&Ms. You know me guys oysters line them up I feel like you just named
Your personality traits. Well, I don't I don't fuck with chocolate covered. I mean, they're fine. They're delicious
Yeah, they're the one defend them. I'm not ordering them.
I'm not being like,
we gotta get the chocolate covered strawberries.
So, I like them.
So you'd be fine never having one
for the rest of your life, Adam.
Let's go!
I think so.
I guess, yeah.
I think that, what about a caramel apple?
That's kinda hot.
I love those dudes.
Shout out to Affy's apple.
Well, sure, those are delicious, but I would say that's way not sexy
Really not sexy at all. Oh
What do you?
You really got a chop on they've gone to they've gone overboard though
I think I think I was with Adam the last time I got one right yeah
They start they start putting like several layers on when was that like on the road
Maybe I got one and I had and I had them.
They're like, do you want it sliced up?
And I was like, fuck yeah.
Oh, man.
Was that like a Rocky Mountain chocolate?
Where did you guys go together?
What the hell? What trip was this?
We went to go. We went shopping for chocolate covered strawberries.
It was his idea.
What the hell trip was this?
Oysters or chocolate gobble strawberries.
I think on the tour, I went into goblets or strawberries. What the hell?
I think on the tour I went into like a Rocky Mountain
chocolate factory.
What the hell?
Yeah, I kind of remember that.
What happened in Tulsa, brother?
Let's just say they sliced up the apple.
Dude, those Rocky Mountain chocolate factories,
are they, I mean, they're still around,
but are they is still, I remember in the Omaha mall,
woo boy.
Oh yeah.
I don't know if those are.
It's a little too crazy for me.
Like with the ones that have like the marshmallows
on the apple with the toffee and the nuts and the like,
I'm like, yeah.
Then you're not getting any apple.
No, no, no.
Then by the time you get to the apple,
you've already had 18,000 calories of chocolate nuts
and berries and marshmallows.
And then you get to an apple and you're like, this tastes fucking disgusting.
Yeah.
What the hell?
It's like a little water ball.
Caramel and caramel with nuts.
And I think I'm done.
I don't know if anybody slide into Blake's DMs with suggestions of other
sorts of taffy apples that I should be into.
I like, I like a little caramel on it and then I'll roll it in peanuts and that's good enough for me, okay?
I don't need the cinnamon.
Just said that.
And you go peanuts, not almonds? Not like chopped up almonds?
It's peanuts, traditionally.
It is peanuts?
I think they're just peanuts, yeah.
I'll take almonds. I'll do almonds.
That sounds not as good to me.
Almonds might be like a little too dense
Like bitter like bitter because then it's like a sour apple and a bitter
But you're getting buff you're getting pretty buff off of them good protein. Is that what you think? Yeah, it's good protein
Yeah, yeah, almonds are just like the buffest nut
Let's see what I want to do is caramel and then dip it in whey protein powder. Hmm. Would you yeah? Yeah
That's Carlitos way.
I do get the ghost.
Get the ghost pre workout and just roll your.
That's Adam's way.
Damn. Before every workout, my doctor told me that I do have to.
I have to slow slow way down on my pre workout.
So I am I am toning down my pre-workout.
Just pre-workout.
How's the nixing?
Well, they said ol' caffeine, and I say, well, I gotta drink my natural energy drink, so...
So, I'm not gonna stop that.
He's like, actually, that's better.
That's good for you.
Keep that up.
I'm not gonna stop that. Yeah's like, actually, that's better. That's good for you. Keep that up. I'm not gonna stop that.
Yeah.
And I can have some coffee.
I just can have the normal six to eight cups of coffee
that I would have every day.
And as well as energy drinks, as well as the pre-workup.
And so is this tied into all the stuff they think?
Or they're just like, let's see.
No, they do think that part of the fisculations
that I'm having, which are a term for like the spasms.
I've since for like the last like three weeks
cut out caffeine, like I have three things of caffeine,
usually two cups of coffee and like a soda
in the afternoon or whatever.
They've cut down tremendously by like 70%.
So yeah. I mean, of like 70%. Okay. So yeah.
Is it real?
I mean, of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
We've been telling you that for 15 years.
That your body was like twitching.
It's like, we're ready to go.
We're ready to go.
And you're like, yeah.
We've been telling you that for 15 years.
We diagnosed you a long time ago.
Yeah.
But isn't it, wasn't it like kind of dope?
And like you guys looked at me like, is he like a superhero?
The amount of caffeine he drinks and
Like how much energy he possesses
Wasn't that like kind of inspiring because I was doing it to inspire you guys. It might have been the opposite
I was doing it to inspire you. Yeah, I mean, I feel like you brought Zoha on the
Without you. Yeah, would Zoha come with Zoha come a knockin. I don't know So basically the doctor said you can do lit but you can't do lit AF, right?
Because maybe that's a little too AF.
Maybe I can't get AFed.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Fair enough.
Fair enough too.
So no pre-workout.
You're just doing like a cup or two of coffee a day that we know well
Essentially, I'm so fucked up right now that I haven't worked out in like two months
So I have not worked out in two months. I'm a soft, pudgy, fat, ugly piece of shit, right? Your boobs are huge
So I'm not taking the pre-workout because I don't work out
Right and I am doing like two cups of coffee and then like a soda or some shit.
Yeah. And that's about it. And that's it. Good. Good. Good.
Keep that up. And what else, Adam? Yeah.
What? Z. Z quill? Is that what you're saying?
What? What do you're miming something?
I can't say it looks like a Z in a circle. Z.
Oh, a Zoa. Yeah.
Zoa and a Zoa. Yeah. Zoa and Zoa.
And we're back. And we got there. And we're back. I'm glad
you're drinking Zoa. Well, you know if I am going to reach
for an energy drink, it's going to be an energy drink with
clean ingredients and green coffee beans, green coffee,
whatever, Zoa energy. Anything by the rock. Yeah.
It's that big D energy, big Dwayne energy.
Big D energy, that is right.
If I am gonna reach for an energy drink,
and in fact I do miss, I do miss an afternoon go-go.
That's one thing that I like in afternoon.
Me up.
But you're home.
So yeah, it's different now.
I'm home, I'm chilling. So you're not. So yeah, it's different now. I'm home.
I'm chilling.
So you're not on set or anything
where you've got any sort of expectations to bring it?
Not on tour.
It's OK.
I'm just chilling with the baby.
And he doesn't.
In fact, if I was up and moving too much,
he'd be a little bummed at that.
He'd be like, yeah, chill it.
Sit your ass down.
Sit the fuck down, old man.
Sit down and watch Rocky Balboa again.
Asshole.
I've been watching a lot of movies that
Then I was like does this deserve a rewatch and then I watch it and I'm like it didn't that's that's where I'm at
What's an example? Yeah, Rocky Balboa Rocky Balboa? Yeah
I never saw that one I sat up late with the it was like it was going to Blake's birthday party
And I was like, you know what I'm gonna take the Saturday night or the sorry the Friday night all night late with the, it was like, it was going to Blake's birthday party and I was like, you know what? I'm going to take the Saturday night or the, sorry, the Friday night all night long with
the baby.
Oh, I love it.
And then the next night you're going to have them because I'm going to be drunk as fuck
at Blake's birthday party.
I'm going to party in my face off.
When I get home.
I'm drunk now.
Yeah.
I was proud of myself though.
I took them at 8 a.m. I was like, or 9 a.m.
There you go. Yeah. I was like, up a.m. There you go. Yeah, I was I was like up and out of daddy
But you know what they're good like that they're like a it's like a weighted blanket where you're like yeah put them on you
You're like dude. Yeah, it's a okay. I'm sure it'll be different once you like running around kicking shit
That's gonna be much much. No, you still lay on the floor and then you're like let's play cover daddy and toys
Yeah, let's play quietly watch Rocky Balboa. Yeah, I did that shit
Yeah, so I I laid up and just watched Rocky Balboa on my phone
He enjoyed the sounds of the grunts on the phone on the phone that is gangster. Yeah, watch everything on my phone
That's crazy. Do you like balance the phone across his face? Yeah
I lean I do a power lean and one of his fat folds. Okay, cool
And the heat of the phone. Yeah, you just you just stick it in there. Yeah, that's cool
Yeah, where are you that you're in his room and like the rocker? Yeah, we
He's something like the despair despair room with the
despair the spare room with the... Dispare. Dispare room with...
We have...
Kyle got it for me because I got him one when he had a kid.
What is the name of that?
The Snoo.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Look at that thing.
That thing rules.
But careful.
You can't let them lay in there too long because it will flatten the back of their head, bro.
You got to be careful for that.
Yeah, well, that...
They get the Snoo head.
Yeah.
I know Kyle was saying that, the Snoo head, but I mean, you this new head. Yeah, I know Kyle was saying that the snoo head
But I mean you just just at nighttime. No, yeah
No, some people leap but the thing is that like people leave them in there the whole night because they don't need to go get them
So it just shakes them back to sleep. So sleeping the whole night the back of their heads get flat
We never turn it off for real you could leave them for 72 hours and they'll be chilling bro. It's crazy
They love this new wait, so you can could leave them for 72 hours and they'll be chilling, bro. It's crazy. They love this new.
Wait, so you can't leave them just overnight? I mean, obviously, we're getting them every
couple hours to feed them again and to burp them and to do all that stuff.
The baby is like a skin soup, okay? And all of those...
Just a sack of noodles, dog, and you got to get them up so the head forms correct.
Smoke weed everyday.
Well, I mean, we're doing the tongue time.
No one's ever told us about this snoo.
Don't let him be on the face.
The face.
All right.
Yeah, you had enough bites.
That skin soup, bro.
You got a little bag of Jumbalio.
You gotta be careful.
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Beauregard.
Beauregard.
Beauregard.
Beauregard divine. Kids are gonna call Beauregard divine kids are gonna come something else
This is your father the Bacchus. You know, he's born in February. He's a little Mardi Gras baby little Beauregard
Mm-hmm. Take him to New Orleans
Whoo, take him to commanders palace
Was the city of New Orleans hitting you up like where are you are you, Boc? Is we where where you at? Yeah, I was getting I was getting some of that.
It was a summoning the King because you have to go to like hand the baton off.
No, you don't have to go, you know, it's not I mean, but it's it's tradition to
No, no, it's not but like a lot of people do go back and you want to they want to see the
previous Kings
There as well to support. I remember Mackie was at yours, right? Yeah. Yeah, he was so cool
And uh, do you remember when nick cage was at the restaurant with us? He was at commander's palace and they were like nick cage is gonna come up and say hello from one
Past king to another and then I'm like, all right cool nick cage. That'll be fucking awesome
And then like 15 minutes later. they're like, he doesn't want to.
No, I don't.
No, we all got a, I'd be like, oh shit, this is gonna be funny as hell or cool or whatever.
And then like, yeah, they're like, no, actually, yeah, they're like, he, he chose not to come
up.
He took a piss here.
Yeah.
He thought you were a dinosaur skull and passed. Yeah, he
chose to ate his entire meal and not do the one thing that we wanted him to do, but that's fine. Yeah.
But Anthony Mackie pulled up real tough. He was awesome, dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Anthony Mackie, he's
the shit, dude. He's a great buck. Yes, he's an ambassador. So I'm excited for him to and you know Chloe's family
She saw his family her mom still lives in
At Louisiana so I feel like he's gonna really get the New Orleans experience from a very young age man
And he's gonna do all the little there's like little kid parades. We're like it's only tiny children
There's just children in thongs for sure.
No doubt they've got the headdress.
It's a little different.
No, it's a different vibe.
No, they have like little tiny floats, like little baby floats.
It's sad.
It's so cute.
I want to go there.
I think a cute shit now that I'm a dad and I'm like, that's so cute. You just love getting your cute on.
At what age do we Halloween?
This is a question I had yesterday.
Do you Halloween?
He's not going to even be one years old.
Do you Halloween pre-one?
I mean, you put him in a little costume.
Do you walk around with him?
Yes.
You see your neighbors just to say what's up to your neighbors and be like, look, I'm going to be like, Do you Halloween pre-one? I mean, you put him in a little costume. Do you walk around with him?
Yes.
You see your neighbors just to say what's up to your neighbors and be like,
look, this is Yoda.
I got Grogu on deck.
Dude, where I live, all my neighbors are legitimately 96 years old.
So, I guess just kind of wander out, make sure that from one fellow,
skin soup to another
This is the way yeah, I mean he'll see all the he'll see all the kids dressed and it'll be cool and scary
And yeah, honestly, I was waiting for any excuse to go like trick-or-treating that shit is the best you get free candy
Well for sure. I mean I want to but I'm like is this is this weird? That's why you had your kid
Yeah, that's the one reason Adams gay and you're just a fucking Halloween. No, I'm like, is this is this weird? That's why you had your kid. Yeah, that's the one reason. Adam's gay and you're just a fucking Halloween.
Well, I'm gay, too.
Forgot.
No way.
What costumes do we go?
He's obviously like a pumpkin or an M&M or some shit.
Yeah, or a P and a pod is pretty good one.
OK, we used to do we would dress up as ghostbusters
and whatever baby we had at the time would be a slimer. Yeah, that's a good look. Okay. We used to do, we would dress up as ghost busters and whatever baby we had
at the time would be a slimer. Yeah, that's a good look. That's a classic. Yeah, that's a good
look. Well, Ders is always good at Halloween. I always felt like you always had a proper costume
and I was a wizard for 13 years straight. I'm a spooky, spooky guy. Yeah. You know? Yeah, Ders,
you wouldn't think Ders would be into Halloween, but you are and I like that about you
Yeah, you know you throw us curveballs. We have a good personality throws us curveballs, and I like that
We like that about you ironically can't throw that well
No, yeah, you're surprising. Yeah, you know the curve ball. I can't throw a curve ball. Yeah, you can't throw
You're not a very good baseball player, correct? Is that? Or basketball. Yeah, no.
Yeah.
I'm fine with basketball.
He's not bad.
I mean, he's not great at basketball, but you're not.
No, no, no.
You should be better.
You're tall.
You should be better.
Well, yeah, for sure.
For your size, you should be pretty dominant.
You should definitely beat us.
Yeah.
I'll say this.
I could definitely beat you guys.
There's no possible way.
Well, I mean, I can't physically walk anymore.
So yes. By the way, I did play a little two on two basketball two days ago. That shit is
so hard now. I got so tired so quickly. And I used to be. Well, that's that's why Ders thinks he can
beat you now. Yeah, but still. I remember that was my only, my only thing
playing people in basketball was that I just never got tired
because of swimming or whatever and people would get gassed
and I'd be like getting my own rebound
after brick after brick after brick.
But you saw me shooting at a T-Bus house, I'm okay.
Yeah, you got a little jumper, but I would still.
A little jumper, but okay, all right, I'll take it.
A little jumper, but.
You got a little jumper, but. A little jumper, but. would still a little jumper, but okay. All right. I'll take it. You got a little jumper, but I would put my
money on on Blake, but only because he actively used to
play a lot of basketball. I did. I did. I'm wet. You were wet
and juicy for sure. I'm juicy. I was never that I was never that
good. I just had a power hook and you know, I would follow you so
hard, but there's no refs. So you a power hook and you know, I would follow you so hard
But there's no refs. So, you know, you brought it. I'm not good either. I just think I could beat him
Okay, I like that. Hey, I like it and and on the next live show
We're bringing out two hoops and you guys are gonna battle Royale
I was gonna say to the death, but you're gonna see this little jumper, but wiggle the next live show
What are we thinking? What are we thinking of Atlantic City?
Maybe Atlantic City.
Maybe, maybe.
Maybe Atlantic City.
Should we go Atlantic City?
I don't know.
Could be kind of cool.
Anything's possible.
Anything is possible.
We played a lot of,
would we play Knockout at Workaholics?
Oh yeah.
That was a nice lunchtime.
Yeah, Knockout is actually a very
flawless game if you just like have uneven numbers and everything. It's so fun. Yeah, it is fun.
And it's a good game to play when you're at lunch and you just ate a big lunch and then you quickly
go out and it's 115 degrees in the deep valley, which essentially is the desert and you're just playing in a
total cement parking lot.
Yeah, black asphalt.
Yeah, just asphalt and, uh, yeah, and everyone is just sopping wet to come back in the room
and work for another four hours.
Perfect game.
And it doesn't smell after that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Perfect game to do that.
How do you guys feel about, you know, some people play where you can like, if you're
holding the ball, you can bump somebody else's ball out in a way.
Correct. Yeah. Do you guys play with those rules?
Yeah. That's why it's called knockout. Yeah. It's called knockout for that exact reason.
Yeah. You have to bump. No, it's, what the fuck are you guys talking about? It's called
knockout because you knock someone out if you make your basket before the person
before you. You knock them out of the game.
It's a double entendre. It's a double entendre.
Definitely not.
That's definitely not what you get or think it is.
It is. You knock them out and then you knock their ball out. It's all encompassing.
Hang on. Kyle. Kyle. Let me call Kyle.
You know Kyle knows about double entendres. You know he does.
What?
Come on. Pickle out.
Come on, man. That's why it's called knockout. What? Where am I?
I'm part of the podcast. Yeah, it's for sure called knockout because you knock people out, but I guess I just
I don't I don't know if I love the
Being able to hit the ball. It just seems like so easy to be like, all right
I'm just gonna fucking blast someone's ball the fuck out of here
Well, some people took it to the extreme and then they would like just like, you know
Well, some people took it to the extreme and then they would like just like, you know There's I'm saying that's that's what people take advantage of the rules. Yeah, those people they're bitches
We don't focus on those people are bitches. Yeah. Yeah, you don't play you don't play with them
And then you know what you just make the shot and they're the knock them out, of course
Yeah, you just you tap it out, you know
You want them to go do a little jog, but you know, you don't kick it to target
I like the rule where you can you can throw the ball at the other ball.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Yeah.
Straight up in the air.
I don't like that you can hold on to it and like go boom and like knock
at the fuck out of there.
Okay.
I'm also in the agreeance.
Now that you are starting, I started to come back to me and the people who
would hold on to the ball and hit the ball were, were bitches.
Fuck that.
That should be illegal.
And I could be, I mean, I don't know.
And I'm so sincerely asking this, is it grients?
You're just a 40 year old dad wondering how things work now.
Is it grients?
No one goes outside anymore.
Is what?
Korean?
Grients?
Is that a grients work?
Korean?
What?
Korean's work?
No, a grients.
You just said, I'm an agreeance.
Agreeance. Agreement. That's what you said. Is that a word? I don't think it's a word. Okay. You said I'm an agreeance and
I was like, oh, that's a word now. I don't know if that's a word agreeance, right?
Agreeance not green but agree. Well, no, I'm saying agreeance. I think it's you're in agreement Yeah, I don't think a grience is a word everyone the producers be just jumping in well this is a gray just yeah
Is a greige's a word a greige's is a word. Yeah, that's a word like
Agreeance is a rare noun
Okay, an actor state of agreeing agreeance. Okay, cool. Hey Blake. See I'm in agree. I love that
No, I know my shit. I know my shit, man.
Is that real?
Sad. Sad about it.
I know my shit. I know my shit.
I know. So, Ders, are you, as far as real sports, not swimming, I'm talking like American,
popular American sports baseball, basketball, football, are you good at any of those?
Badminton. in sports baseball, basketball, football. Are you good at any of those? Bad men.
Like I said, I'm probably not good at basketball. I cannot hit a baseball for sure.
I can throw a football pretty well.
I can catch pretty well.
Yeah, I could see you being okay at football.
I think football's cool.
I'm not, I can't throw, I mean, I could throw a football.
No one would be like, that man cannot throw a football.
But I'm never proud when I throw a football no one will be like that man cannot throw a football But I'm never I'm never proud when I throw a football. I'm no one's ever like whoa fucking tight
Look at that tight spiral. I mean I will say on so on set my standing Gil who's an older man
I don't know. It was 10 years older than us. Yeah, it made a lot of 15 years older
I don't know made a lot of sense to be your standard. Yes. Yes, absolutely.
He's been in a few episodes, but he played semi-pro football in like the 80s.
No, I thought he played. Didn't he play for the Dolphins and then got like cut?
He might have showed up at camp. I don't know.
Yeah, I don't think he ever played pro.
OK, we could have gave it to him.
Could have gave it to him. No one would have known, but could have gave it to him.
I'm still going gonna send it. So my stand in Phil was Phil Gil was this super jacked professional football player
Bill, Bill, Bill. Yeah, they're now we're giving it to him super jacked. And that's why he was my stand in
Um, but he was a quarterback and he's yeah, I'll probably a little bit taller than me and just like dude cock diesel
Cock diesel. Yeah, and when he throws a football, we had a football on set a few times.
It was just different.
It just moved in a different way where you go, Oh, like, I'm
throwing how I throw, but when you throw it, it just zip.
Dude, I did that commercial, the Amazon commercial and the Amazon
NFL commercial with Ryan Fitzpatrick X
quarterback for like 15 years. And the bit was just he's pelting me
with footballs. And I was like, Okay, so
I did. How are we going to do this? And they're like, he's just
going to throw footballs at you. And I'm like, great. It was
you fucking hours of just me getting pelted with footballs.
And also like, I I'm I'm me
And I can't do anything like half ass if there's a camera on me. I'm like I'm gonna die for this shit
Yeah, you're literally they're like and then you get hit and so it's just me just eating shit on pavement for like just like
25 tosses in a row right don't worry. You didn't have any caffeine though. It's science
He keeps throwing one right after another and my god if, if I, like, I was batting him away,
like a fucking ninja, if I, like,
I could have like broke my fucking face,
or my hand, essentially.
Right. Yeah.
And he was probably like, 40%.
Yeah, he was like, I'm like, are you taking some off?
He's like, absolutely, I'm 15 feet away from you.
I'm taking a lot off, and I'm like, my. I'm 15 feet away from you. I'm taking a lot off. I'm like,
my God. Yeah. Those dudes have cannons. This whole this whole weekend, I, uh, they were having like
the NFL combine where they work out all like the college players. It's actually really fun to watch.
It's just like dudes running like dudes running. Go ahead. I was super intrigued. It's actually really funny box is dudes running.
It's like, the floor is yours.
Go ahead.
It's just, it's not just football.
So it's like them jumping and like you see their vert,
you see how fast they run like 400, is it a 400 meter?
No, it's a 40.
What?
The 40.
A 400 meter?
Dude broke a record.
Yeah, the dude broke the record.
He ran faster than, um...
Bo Jackson?
Bolt.
Well, you guys know the whole Usain Bolt thing, though.
What's up with him?
What?
It was...
They're going off of a time that Usain Bolt did at like a fucking NFL party in Jim
Shoes after he retired from running.
Oh, okay.
Like, that's how fast he is.
Is that like, he was like, I'll try it. Oh, okay. Like that's how fast he is. Is that like he was like, I'll try it
Oh, okay. So it's not like a world record. It's a record for the combine. Yeah, okay
It was like a thing they had set up for people to be like how fast can you run a 40 in and they were like dude
Come on. He was like, all right. Yeah, and just like winged it. It was mad entertaining. The combine is kind of fucking cool
It's just watching dudes like that's very cool Yeah, you know what we should do we should do old man combine and we get every every dad by yeah the dad
Vine I love that oh
And we just have to see how fast we can run with our baby strapped
They're like ruptured tendon
Three babies down.
Fumble, fumble.
Is it Rich Eisen who runs it every year in like a suit?
Yeah, he runs it. Yeah.
Yeah, it's really cool, man.
I hope it never goes bad for him where he just is like, pop.
He trains. He trains for it.
He used to come into when I used to work out at that gym,
unbreakable, he would come in there and like train
in like the several months leading up
to like be ready for it.
Just all Nordic curls.
Yeah.
And like the weird training that no one really does
unless they're like an athlete
where they're just like jumping.
Right.
Twitching.
Pliometric.
Lots of twitches.
The fast twitch muscles.
Yeah.
That's how you work out.
Well, yeah, my last few months,
cause I got so heavy on the fucking tour, I got up to two bills and some
And so then I started to running again. My body was like, uh, nope. Sorry, buddy. No, no, no, no, no. So are you not two bills now? What are you now? I'm under. I'm like 197. That is incredible. I'm such a fat fucking piece of shit. I'm 205 pounds, my God.
Well, I'd like to be 187.
I gotta get my diet in check.
That's what I'm gonna do.
Lipo, let's all do lipos.
I gotta do lipos, such a-
Oh, Zempik.
What's the cold freeze thing, or what's it called?
Where they freeze the fat off?
Can we do that together, holding hands?
Yeah.
It's just called frostbite.
Just frostbite your sides.
Yeah, they frostbite your nuts.
The love handles.
That's where I hold all my weight.
Agreements.
Yeah.
Just, just, I'm gonna agree this.
Uh, any take-packs, any apologies, any epic slams?
Mmm.
Dang.
I can't remember anything anymore, so.
Yeah, I, yeah, this is 40.
This one just came and went.
Uh, cryolip-polisis.
Yeah. Is what it's called when you freeze off your fat.
Cryolipolysis.
OK.
How would you fucking say that?
I mean, I see lipo in there.
Cryolipolysis.
Cryolipolysis.
Cryolipolysis.
That is that is cryolipolysis.
Paul cryolipolysis.
Sure. Hey, whatever. And I'm down to do it. I'm down to do it.
Yeah, absolutely.
Any takebacks? Any apologies? What's going on?
I guess I have like a...
Just an announcement.
What's that?
About our YouTube channel. Dude, we are at 90k.
Oh, that's not even a lot.
Yeah, that's pretty low.
I know.
That's low, dude.
If we can get 10k more. Oh, that's not even a lot. Yeah, I know. But if we can get 10 K more, oh, wow, we will get one of those fucking YouTube plaques.
So whether you whether you sign in, have an account, go on YouTube and subscribe.
I don't subscribe to any guys.
You don't have to watch. You don't have to watch.
You don't have to subscribe.
Just subscribe to the YouTube.
Is this a smash the like button situation?
This is smash that like button. Please let us have one of those little YouTube plaques. I want to fucking round of our zooms, please
I just want to plaque and in fact I saw I forget what I was watching the end of the day
They had a plaque and I was like how the fuck can we have a plaque?
How do we not have a plaque? We need- We don't have enough plaques.
We need more plaques.
Yeah, please.
I'm good.
So TII Nation, citizen.
Your breath smells like you might have some plaque.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You might have some plaque.
Too much plaque.
We got something.
You got some points.
First points of the board.
Okay, it was almost a pointless episode,
but that was pretty good.
They're all pointless.
They're all pointless. Tell your parents to sign in and make a YouTube account.
We need 10K and we're going to get those plaques behind us.
Please.
Tell your parents. Everyone that listens is under your grandpa, your
nico-grandma.
They don't even have to watch. Just sign in, create a YouTube
account and subscribe to TII.
By the way, my neighbor.
This is important.
One of my neighbors who's like, I don't know, he's probably like 70 or something in his 60s or 70s. YouTube account and subscribe to TI. By the way, my neighbor, this is important.
One of my neighbors who's like, I don't know, he's probably like 70 or something in his 60s or 70s.
He said he does not seem like the type of guy that would watch or listen to our episodes.
He was like, Hey, I actually would listen to some of your podcasts the other day.
And he was like, got me giggling.
And I'm like, my God, I really, I did not, I did not see it going that way.
Okay.
He's pretty cool.
My seven year old neighbor, he asked me, he was like, what's the name of your
podcast?
And you're like, smartless.
You write exactly.
He asked and I go, he's like, Oh, check it out.
I go, please don't honestly, you don't have to.
Yeah.
I mean, that's what I say.
Whenever it's not be your speed is what I tell people
diarrhea
We're just talking about
Fucking inmates for 20 minutes. I love it mister
Hey, no fucking take backs zero take backs. Well tell that guy to subscribe to the YouTube. Okay? Yeah
I'll tell him yeah when I see him out by the trash cans.
We need those plaques.
All right, and this is another episode of...
This is important.
Freakin' Sia. John Stewart is back in the host chair at The Daily Show, which means he's also back
in our ears on The Daily Show, Ears Edition podcast.
Join late night legend John Stewart and the best news team for today's biggest headlines,
exclusive extended interviews and more.
Now this is the second term we can all get behind.
Listen to The Daily Show, Ears Edition on the iHeart Radio app, Apple
Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Martha Stewart and we're back with a new season of my podcast. This season will
be even more revealing and more personal with more entrepreneurs, more live events and more
questions from you. I'm talking to my cosmetic dermatologist, Dr. Dan Belkin, about the secrets behind my skincare.
On Corjane, about creating a billion dollar startup.
Walter Isaacson, about the geniuses who change the world.
Listen and subscribe to the Martha Stewart podcast
on the iHeart Radio app, Apple podcasts,
or wherever you get your podcasts.
Hi, I'm Vanessa Bayer, and this is my brother Jonah.
And we are so excited to have you here the latest season of our nostalgia theme podcast,
How Did We Get Weird?
Not only do you get to know me and my brother, you get to know the stories that made us the
absolutely rad people we are today.
Like you Jonah, who's a music person and also a mental health counselor.
And you Vanessa, who is an actress, comedian, and I think you even wrote a children's book. Wow.
I sure did.
Check out our episodes where we've welcomed hilarious guests
like our friend Andy Sandberg.
That's it, that's really it.
And Queen Kasey Wilson.
I really went cart before the horse.
I said, I think I have an opportunity
to interview Lena Caprio.
Oh my God.
As a high school student.
Plus legendary sisters Amber Ruffin and Lacey Lamar.
You would pull the bag out and then we would eat all the leftover chocolate chips, which
was a lot.
Then you'd roll the barrel up the hill and then one of us would get inside the barrel
and they'd push you down.
And we've also had an amazing guest like Mike the Miz, Jason Isbell, Kerry Brownstein
and Corin Tucker of Slater Kinney and many more.
And you do not want to miss out on our funny segments like change.org
change.org and congratulations. You played yourself. Congratulations. You played yourself.
Listen to our podcast. How did we get weird on the iHeart radio app,
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