This Is Important - The Best Of How It All Began!

Episode Date: December 29, 2023

This is a re-release of the best of episodes 1-5. Join us down memory lane and reminisce about how it all began! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Yes, that's gotta be the wings. Wings, nice! Where'd you order wings from? Louisiana! Enjoy Wing Night in with Popeyes. Popeyes hand-battered wings a marinated full of full 12 hours in Louisiana's seasonings and with five irresistible flavors, including Ghost Pepper, Honey Garlic and Garlic Pommajon, there's something for everyone.
Starting point is 00:00:21 Mmm-mm, we got in by Popeyes at a party more often. Make it tonight Wing Night in by Popeye's and the party were often. Make it tonight, wing night in, with Popeye. That chicken from Popeye's! Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world-changing genius in Elon Musk and found a man addicted to chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks. The book launched a thousand hot takes,
Starting point is 00:00:45 so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise. I like the fact that people who say, I'm not as tough on musk as I should be, or are always using anecdotes from my book to show why we should be tough on musk. Join me, Evan Ratliffe, for On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 00:01:10 I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkays Podcast Zone 7. Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island Serial Killer. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it. These guys can see like right through to your soul. So you have to be like prepared. If you don't know your stuff, they're going to just call you out. Listen to zone seven with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast,
Starting point is 00:01:33 or wherever you get your podcast. Get ready because Aaron and Karrissa from Calm Down have got something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland, a reading of Twist and Night Before Christmas. Bell infuse it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event, starting Thursday to 7th at 7pm Eastern at State Farm Park in I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the Big Screen and try to beat Jake's core at the park core minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com slash iHeartland to start playing today. Welcome to This Is Important, a production of iHeartRadio, the show where we only talk about what is most obviously very crucially important. Today on This Is Important, I want my four skin back.
Starting point is 00:02:24 Just focus on the ass, please. You go at it for about four days with your tightest bros and you come out stronger for it. These guys did have a certain musculature that made you want to grab them. Let's go. I was being called on stage and it was the first time I was going to headline and headline was at this bar was like 30 minutes to do stand up and I'm pretty nervous and I don't know why I had a shit, but I caught it. It's a human behavior. Yeah, you had digested my allergy Yes, I think I was nerves and and got the nervous po. And I sneezed in a perfect log, shot out of my ass.
Starting point is 00:03:08 A perfect log pinched completely into my pants. And I grabbed a bar, they're literally bringing me up like this guy, he's losing Hollywood. He's comes down here to do stand up. We like him, give it up. And I'm fishing this turd out of my pants. I take it out with a bar, an acin' and stick it in a potted plant, which I'm right next to.
Starting point is 00:03:29 I go on stage, I do the 30 minutes, the show went great. It was like the best show I've had up to this point. And then I go, guys, to be perfectly honest, I didn't think the show was gonna go great. Because right before the show, I shittin' that potted plant. And people were like, what? And I go, hey, go look at that potted plant. Tell me there's not a shit wrapped up in a,
Starting point is 00:03:52 a bar napkin. And they're like, there's a shit in here. And then I dropped the microphone as if that's my ending joke in the place exploded. It was like the best ending bit. People were like, he's shittin bar, he's shit in the dude. You gotta bring that back. That story started very loose butthole.
Starting point is 00:04:11 And then, ended tight butthole. Oh good, good, good, good. Yeah. I want my foreskin back. Okay, now let's talk about this. Ah! Ah! You can stretch your foreskin.
Starting point is 00:04:23 You can stretch it. There's like a thing with a little bit of tears. It takes years. I've been thinking about doing this. So then maybe you really don't want to. Wait, wait, hold on now. I hear a real truth in Kyle's voice right now, and I'm looking at him via Zoom,
Starting point is 00:04:37 and it looks like this is an emotional issue for you. Well, I mean, I had to go through this when I had a son and decided, I'm gonna cut part of his we-we-off. And I decided not to. Not going to do that. It's never too late. Doing so, I realized that I want mine back.
Starting point is 00:04:55 I don't know. Like, I didn't have that choice. None of us had that choice. Are you jealous of your kid now? You weirdo. When you're changing his diaper. No, I'm happy that he doesn't have to have this realization one day that somebody else made the choice to cut part of his dick off Yeah, okay, and I get that but isn't it weird that you have to like peel your son's
Starting point is 00:05:16 Dixkin back and clean I don't have to do anything you just let it go But doesn't it get gross you gotta you gotta clean it I have this age not when he's this little. You don't do that. I got two little dicks in my house. You don't know. Are they circumcised? Yeah, but they still got a little something.
Starting point is 00:05:35 And I got to go, hey guys, they're circumcised. You don't know what you're talking about. But they still got a little something. So you got to pull that back. You're speaking on a false platform. You have no idea. Wow. I'm just saying, you have no idea. Wow. I'm just saying, none of us had a choice,
Starting point is 00:05:49 so it's easy to defend it. Sure, sure. No, and when I initially heard the argument, I believe we've had this argument several times. I thought it was a sanitary thing, but apparently that's a myth of sorts. No, it isn't a myth, but that's the same thing I'm talking about. Is the thing in the past like the butthole hair? Well, is sorts. That's, no, it isn't a myth, but that's the same thing I'm talking about.
Starting point is 00:06:05 It's the thing that passed like the butthole hair. Well, is it a thing where, yeah, is it a cot with and without? Is there a time when you're gonna need that foreskin? No. Well, all you guys are fucking talking about how you want bigger dicks. And when you cut your foreskin off,
Starting point is 00:06:20 it does retract a little bit. Okay, well, I need much more than that. Odds are, if you didn't cut your foreskin off, your dick would hang lower. So, but here's the deal though, if you have a little dick and you never got the foreskin cut off, you have no excuse. Now, I know that like I can go home to my wife and go,
Starting point is 00:06:36 look, do you know why it's so small? I got circumcised and it retracted. Yeah, and they all look good to go. Lay off me. Guys, with a quick Google, I found four skin problems. Okay? Four skin problems, dryness, swelling, infection, irritation.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Just like that. Just right away, four skin problems. One quick Google. It's a campaign, man. It's a campaign from Christianity, dog. It's a Christian campaign. It's Christianity. Look at the rest of the world. It's a Christian campaign. It's Christianity. Look at the rest of the world.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Look at the global statistics. I thought it was Judaism. No, I thought that that was. Which was adopted by Christianity as well. Oh, guess what? They were right on the money as they usually are. I was watching Rumpshaker very young. Well, I mean, but Rumpshaker is fucking tame compared to WAP.
Starting point is 00:07:28 Wet ass pussy. Totally. Is there a video for WAP? Oh, yeah. I thought it couldn't get more vulgar like music after like my neck, my back, lick my pussy, and my crack, but then WAP is just... What about last year they had so hot stuff. You such a fucking ho I love it like
Starting point is 00:07:46 that's pretty not really I've got a wet ass pussy that's more gnarly and vulgar than you're such a fucking ho I love it it's just what happens to the human body yeah that's true it's a reaction yeah I guess that was met up yeah one of them's actually. If dudes have been rapping for however long about how their stroke is and feel guilty, what how? Like go ahead and rap about it. Like it doesn't, I don't fucking care. If girls wanna rap about how good they fuck, tight.
Starting point is 00:08:16 Yeah. I'm down with that, sure. But it is making me horny. Yeah. Yeah, sure, but I don't want to walk around with a boner on in my regular everyday life. Yeah, when I'm jogging around the lake, I'm not trying to get a fucking hard on. But that's like back in the day, my mom would not let me listen to MTV or watch MTV because of that content.
Starting point is 00:08:41 So then I had a battle with fucking censorship my entire life and was like, you know what I mean? So what do you do? What do you, I don't know. I think you just let him, I mean, my parents didn't really, like shit. No, I could watch anything.
Starting point is 00:08:59 I could watch any R-rated movie and listen to anything. The only real thing that they would stop me was like, Pornow. Like I couldn't like it, it was like nudity. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, we're putting up the roadblock here on hardcore porn at him, turn it off. Puberty, what a bizarre time. Do you remember how, oh my God, Pinochio is really a story of Puberty when you think about it.
Starting point is 00:09:27 I remember being so, my dick was hard all the time. What? You're supposed to? Still is. No, mine. Mine's the one. No, mine's the one. No, mine's the one.
Starting point is 00:09:38 My dick does not work the same way. He's crying. It's not working the same way. All I meant it, it doesn't work. It used to be a problem. And now it's a problem. It's a problem. You damned if you're hard, you damned if you're not. It's soft. That's just it. It was definitely like there was the moment where you're like, well, there go sweatpants, can't do that anymore. Yeah. Or if you got called up with the chalkboard, where you have a boner and sweatpants, and you have to just tuck your butt back
Starting point is 00:10:07 and do a little dance. Sure. Sure. I've had both of those. Sure. Wait, have you had both of those? I have. In my freshman year of high school,
Starting point is 00:10:17 I stood up and I had to tuck up. Oh yeah. And then one of my buddies called me out. I was like, you just had to tuck his dick up. And I honestly snapped. I was like, I have a boner. What's it to you? We all got him and I like kind of went off.
Starting point is 00:10:34 And after that, it was a note for if you're an eighth grade and ninth grade and you're getting a lot of boners, call your boners out. Get ahead of it. Well, this is a hit. Get ahead of it because then as soon as I did that all the kids were like yeah this guy's funny He he's talking about boners. I'm like so then I wouldn't shut up about my boner any time I got a boner and an announcement
Starting point is 00:10:54 I'm gonna get the second cans on top of it. You're gonna recommend a children across America Allegedly take my advice word for word allegedly If you have an erection good job or you have Let's see your girl and you've got giant nipples or something you got like really hard giant nipples And it's and there's just it's poking out or your dick is always hard Whatever it is get in front of it if you're if you're like a fat kid, have some fat jokes in the back pocket. Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you went too far.
Starting point is 00:11:28 I was stuck with a little bit of it. No, I was stuck with a little bit of it. You were a fat kid with huge nibbles and constant bowlers. I'm saying, if you have a thing, because I was a crippled kid in high school, or in middle school, if you have a thing that is that people are gonna make fun of you about,
Starting point is 00:11:42 why don't we just stick to cripple kids calling it out and then I think we're good. Now, not just cripple kids, because cripple kids, kids with boners all the time. Kids with hard nipples constantly. Well, it's important that we as a people are able to talk about this stuff and not just make fun of each other for it.
Starting point is 00:11:58 You know what I mean? Like what Adam did was diffuse the situation. And it's like, why isn't that kid talking about boners at the dinner table with his family? it's not a thing shouldn't be a thing can we at least admit that the real hero here is the friend in the classroom who audibly said he just talked to your boner you notoriously have earth shattering orgasms my gasms were were, well shake the house. Yeah, the gas man. I've definitely heard a couple when we were roommates and it was, it sounded like felt
Starting point is 00:12:31 hell good. Oh man. I could barely make it out over you blasting red hot chili peppers every time. I could barely make it out over you blasting red hot chili peppers every time. What is the stadium Arcadeium? Yes, that was his go-to. That was weird, man. We would hear that all the time. Well, sorry, you guys weren't fucking. No, bro. No, it's cool.
Starting point is 00:12:56 No, we're quiet. We're respectful. You guys were making love, not me. I was blasting stadium Arcadeium and going to town. You fuck. I'm like, coitus. It's the orgasms. He's got earth shattering orgasms, dude.
Starting point is 00:13:08 See, I'm not trying to have extra feeling. I'm trying to have, yeah, imagine that. I will say that once I moved out and I had privacy, my orgasms have become a little bit more ground breaking, not earth shattering. Sure, wow. And I think that it was the privacy. And it's a shame that I was worried about what you guys thought about,
Starting point is 00:13:26 what my orgasms sounded like, enough to keep it quiet. Adam, I got respect for you for just doing you, bro. Well, I, you know, out of a level, and I also respect you, and that's why I played the chili pepper so loudly. Yes, right. It's the perfect music to play while having sex because it's a roller coaster ride.
Starting point is 00:13:48 There's some they want to stop but dick to dick and then every once in a while they'll slow it down and yeah So wait you can go longer than once on wow. Yeah, bro We should we fuck on concept albums. Yeah, that's what's up now days back then. No way man No way, I gotta skip some tracks Oh, yeah, there's there's a few there's a few special tracks Oh, wait for the secret song. Oh the crescendo I really love myself. I have really no problem with any of my features I really love myself. I have really no problem with any of my features.
Starting point is 00:14:32 I in the year 2002 put a few bids on the black jeans that Anthony Michael Hall wore in Edward Cesar hands. Lost out when they went over $120. There's just a little too deep for my pockets. Wow. The people that don't know who Anthony Michael Hall is, which none of us really knew who he was, and we had to ask Anders, he is from Weird Science and along with other John Hughes movies.
Starting point is 00:14:50 And he was kind of a nerd when he was a kid and he must have, that must have like weighed on him. And then he was like, I have to lift weights, I have to be a joke to ask, I grow dude. Hey, look, some people have to do that, okay? Okay. Well, we actually didn't have a senior prom, we had a senior ball, so that would've been called a ball king.
Starting point is 00:15:10 I don't know, the ball king. And I was the ball king of the show. That's what they call me, baby. That's what they call me. Because they call me at least. Because I would go around and get the balls. Let's say you come out and you're butt naked and now you need that little trim of hair
Starting point is 00:15:30 around your asshole to keep you warm or else you might die. Hey, you're not wrong. I'm willing to take that risk. I get that. It's kind of like with a gun, you know, with butthole hair, it's you'd rather be caught with than without.
Starting point is 00:15:42 Cause when you do need butthole hair, it's super important. I guess I'd rather be caught with than without. Because when you do need butthole hair, it's super important. I guess I'd rather be caught without a gun in this situation. Right, no, brother. That's your choice. That's your choice. I'll tell you, my weapon of choice is right here, pal. Oh, the fist.
Starting point is 00:15:57 The fist. You raised his fist. If someone pulls a gun on me, I will fist them. Mm. That makes sense. Can we talk about a Blake just looking absolutely fucking insane for this podcast? Okay, let's get a description. With the mask, with the one glove, but like a dentist's glove.
Starting point is 00:16:14 Currently touching his nostrils. Uh, uh, wrap around glasses, a mask, and then a bucket hat with a band that I'm pretty positive he's never listened to. What? You're trying to challenge my grateful dead love. Come on, brother. Oh yeah, what's your favorite grateful dead song? Oh, don't question him. He knows this shit. Oh, please tell me your favorite. Eat truckin, truckin, baby. Come on. Let's go. Thank you. What is it? Truckin. Man, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Let's go. Thank you. What is it? Trucking
Starting point is 00:16:47 Yeah, bro. I Speaking of trucks. I live a truck lifestyle y'all So they're most famous one. Well, it's up there. You don't know a deep cut at all. What's the one with the video? Where's your skeletons playing? I will get by yeah, that's all that's the fucking jam dude. They've got jams They've got jams that song kicks butt I saw grateful dead with John mayor. Do you know grateful dead, bro? No, I don't know Yeah, so you just like projected on him. I'm Blake knows grateful dead. He was like he knows them I don't believe that Blake is a big grateful dead head. I'm a dead head brother I do not believe that he's a dead head
Starting point is 00:17:22 I think that you need to know something because the other day, like, we were just talking and I was working in the backyard and he's like, hey man, flipped me grateful dead playlist just to get in the mood. Yeah, he was setting himself up for this because we knew we were gonna call him out about the hat. He's doing the leg work. Dude, you remember we went to some like NASCAR event
Starting point is 00:17:43 and Channing Tatum was there and The way that like women were treating him was flagrant like they would follow him and like grab his ass And he'd be like like pieces of meat. That is my butt. It's so cool though. Gosh I wish I was him. It is crazy. I mean your guys' ass is probably get grabbed quite a bit Blake you've got a really, really nice, you know, you've got a nice took us. Oh, took us. Publicly, no.
Starting point is 00:18:10 Does it get grabbed? My ask gets grabbed when I'm on the road doing standup and I do those like meet and greets afterwards, which I guess I'm probably never gonna do again because COVID, but when I would do those and you're meeting people after the show, probably within a line of, I cap it at a hundred people on my Asher get grabbed 25 times. Wow, but you do have a fucking dookie. Bro, ton. Yeah, it's totally me. You got a dookie, bro
Starting point is 00:18:36 I got us some meat that's your booty. Your booty gets like to the party 10 minutes after you What's up dude, you're here? I mean, you're busy seeing it. To be fair, didn't you? Get cut out of a dominoes commercial. Your ass was stupid. Oh yeah! Oh, that was insane.
Starting point is 00:18:58 Oh, that was insane. I forgot all about that. For those of you that don't know, I had to like a bad accident. When I was a kid, I was hit by a cement trick. I couldn't walk for almost two years. And I was mostly worried about my boner. And it was, I was worried about it. But I was like too young to like really know.
Starting point is 00:19:15 I was like going into sixth grade. So that's right when boners are starting to peak your interest. And you're like, what's going on down here? I do remember, this is a gnarly story. My, one of the first times I had ejaculated, and I was taking a bath because I couldn't stand in a shower. My mom had to pick me up out of a wheelchair and place me in a bathtub.
Starting point is 00:19:34 And I'm joking. I'm listening. I'm joking off. Meanwhile, I jerked off like this. I jerked off like with, Oh, he's doing two fingers right now. Dude, that was the move, by the way. And then you get to a full circle. Yeah, and then you go, okay, sorry. Then you go to hands two fingers right there. That was the move by the way. And then you get to a full circle.
Starting point is 00:19:45 And then you go, okay, sorry. Then you go to hands. Never got there. Never got there. But it was drinking off in the bathtub. Two hands. Came in the bathtub. Good, you know, good.
Starting point is 00:19:56 Sure. So then as soon as I came, I looked down and saw something floating in the bathtub, and it was my toe. What the fuck? You have and it was my toe. My toe fell off. My baby toe on my left foot, you guys know how I have a little nub. My baby toe on my left foot was like charred and they're like this will probably just fall off at some point. And it fell off while I was in there I started screaming, and I'm naked just with just water in the bathtub, and my mom comes running in,
Starting point is 00:20:28 and she's like, oh my God, you're towed. I'm like, get out of here! Get out! It's not, it is not safe for you. Wait, so when you jizz the water, are you kind of like scooching around to like dodge it? And like the, and then the toes of the flows, the water, it's like coming after you?
Starting point is 00:20:42 And then like, yeah, it was like the first time. So like, I'd done it multiple times before that one. It just, nothing came out. Yes. This is what we got to talk about is the pre able to come jerk off sessions. Where's this the air coming out? Yeah, what the fuck, man?
Starting point is 00:20:57 That was weird. Hey, so if any kids are listening to this and you guys are pre-comming and you're not, and there's not just coming out, get ahead of it. Oh, man. Just screen that from the raffer, is that your local middle school? And and you're not, and there's not just coming out, get ahead of it. Oh, man. Just pre-knap from the raffer, is that your local middle school? And if you're just turning it in now,
Starting point is 00:21:09 this is important. It's very important. This is important. I was very good at climbing trees. I still am to this day. I could see you being really good at climbing some trees. I love that you were that kid. It's like, who's that?
Starting point is 00:21:22 This is Blake. I can see Clams trees. He's always hiding it from someone. Yeah. All the way to the top. Yeah. He's always hiding from somebody all the way at the top. That's where my dad couldn't reach me.
Starting point is 00:21:32 You got come over here during low-quatch season, climb my tree and pick some low-quads for me, buddy. I'll just tell you, when you have a dad like mine at home, you learn how to climb those trees. Bring me down back. Go get a switch. Go get a switch for us. And this is what I wanted to talk about.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Yeah. Now this is important. The roof therapy. It makes abuse. I use my podcast as a therapy session. I feel like these are the kind of conspiracies I'd like to be spending my time on. Like, is there multiple marshmallows?
Starting point is 00:21:59 You've got to get off the conspiracies you're currently on and get on this, where is marshmallowmello conspiracy. All right, I was just making a joke. I don't need to be put on a freaking crucifix right now. Okay. Oh, I'm not. You're not going to get that. But I just said this would be a good point at the finger at me.
Starting point is 00:22:18 And I, you know, well, sometimes when someone reacts like this, it's because some sort of truth is coming out. What's going on? Oh, yes. Oh, it's also comedy. Come on now. World stage, right, Kyle? Kyle, you got to say it. Can we, can we please say here's the subject? Yeah, can we change the subject? I want to say that so much on this podcast. That's a great call. I forgot about that. That's awesome. That's going to be the other name of the podcast and said it is this important.
Starting point is 00:22:48 Which it is, which everything we talk about it is. It's all important. It's going to be a change the subject. Can we change the subject? Please change the subject. Can we please change the subject? It's a real conversation killer for a podcast. We please change the subject.
Starting point is 00:23:01 Yeah, because it's like, OK. Oh, but I'll just be like, oh, subject. Kind of going on a good run there. If they just had a gym that was all just breakable shit, that you could just go in there and aggressively smash it, I feel like that would be it. They do. It's called a dump run. Just like go pick up people's trash and take it to the dump for them and you can just do whatever the hell you want over there. Wow, and you saved the planet. How long you guys brush your teeth for? How long? Yeah, and how much toothpaste do you use?
Starting point is 00:23:33 30 minutes. 30? Just solid 30. This is solid 30 every night. I destroy my toothbrushes. My toothbrushes are absolutely insane. So does my wife. It's like crazy. So does my two-year-old. It looks like fucking... It looks like Giles hair from Street Fighter 2. My uh... yeah, my dentist was like, yo, you cannot use. You're rubbing the enamel of your teeth off with your toothbrush. What are you doing? Because I would scrub in the shit out of the man. He's obviously getting out a lot of anger.
Starting point is 00:24:04 But so this is me circling back to how long you're doing it. What are you doing? Because I would scrub in the shit out of the man. He's obviously getting out a lot of anger. Why? So this is me circling back to how long you're doing it. Like how long? Because I see like commercials that are like, you do 30 seconds this far, 30 seconds that far, 30 seconds bottom side, 30 seconds this. And I'm like, two minutes, I do not brush my teeth for two minutes.
Starting point is 00:24:17 I do. I brush my teeth for two minutes. For two minutes? Well, my electric toothbrush has a timer. Don't you guys have electric? Yeah, it tells you when. No, I just fucking, I'm a little school on throwback. Oh bro, you gotta get all this pent-up energy.
Starting point is 00:24:46 I might snap on somebody. Well, what's up with the flossing? Who out of here is flossing? Who's doing that? Never. What? I'm flossing fashion-wise, almost daily. Yeah, hell yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:58 As everyone knows. He stays flossing. Yeah, hell yeah. I'd never floss my teeth. That's wild. Dude. I don't do it as often as I should only if I get something stuck I'll open it. Well, I floss it if it's a beef jerky day. You got it. Yeah, I'm jerking a little hard that day
Starting point is 00:25:14 We did ghost in the graveyard and cops and robbers on bikes cops and robbers was Oh my gosh, sit down. That doesn't even have rules It's just like you just pretend to shoot each other. Right. But no, you got to do, it's essentially like group tag. Cops over here, robbers over there. And there was like parameters like the block.
Starting point is 00:25:33 And we have like a school honor block. So you could cut through the school yard and shit. Can't you put people in jail and stuff too? And then you can go save people out in jail. Exactly. So then if a robber gets to jail when a cop isn't there, they can tag you and then you're free again. Oh, wow.
Starting point is 00:25:46 Yeah. I don't know how it ends. I guess it ends when the cops get all the robbers, but like, I don't know how the robbers come from. There was never any, like those little kick inser is never any ending. You know what I mean? It just kept going until you had to come home. They were designed to just stay. I never remember like winning at cops and robbers
Starting point is 00:26:05 or like any of those like games that you sort of make up your own neighborhood rules. Right. Our main shit, we were just like little vandals in shit. We would literally just get a bunch of rocks, climbing a tree, and then throw rocks at cars that are having pests. Oh yeah, that happens.
Starting point is 00:26:20 All day long, I remember I had to, I got called to like eat dinner, and I hear my mom screaming my name down the street And so I had to go home eight dinner. I came back all of my friends are handcuffed Sitting on the side of the street and a police officers right there I was like four of my friends right there and they they were getting handcuffed and then the cop took them back to their parents house Because they shattered some guys windshield. I by throwing a freaking rock through his windshield. Damn. Freakin' goofballs, that kid fired on him.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Did you guys ever have laser tag infiltrate your groups of friends because that was like something that really, really changed every game? Like you guys had your own laser tag, like in the neighborhood? A couple kids on the block had it. Yeah, you could buy these vests at like Toys R Us and you know, you had to charge them. That was the hard part is always keep making sure
Starting point is 00:27:10 that you had batteries, but like. Well, and nothing's changed, huh? Yeah, totally. He's a God. Yeah, he is. He's a God. He was a God at that party of 25 people. And the weird thing is, he's not the coolest brother.
Starting point is 00:27:23 William is. That's right, team Luke team Luke. Oh Over Liam Liam's way cool, dude. I'm a Liam guy. Sorry Liam. I'm going with the brother. I haven't met yet Yeah, you like work with Liam several times. What the fuck? Yeah, I thought you were boys with Liam That's weird to check that no I am I am but sure, for sure the one I don't know is the coolest. Yeah, I like Liam. I like Liam. Makes sense. I thought maybe some dirty shit happened on set with you and Liam.
Starting point is 00:27:52 Did you have beef? Was it like you can't be on set together? It was definitely a battle of who's the hottest on set. Every time we walked on set, every time we walked on set, it was like a real... Oh, for sure. Right. Absolutely. Give and take, push and pull of who is the sexiest person on set. Oh yeah. Do you remember that website actually, like,
Starting point is 00:28:13 Hot or Not? Hot or Not? Was the fucking funniest thing. Dude. I loved it. You had a pickup, right Kyle? What do you mean I had a pickup? You had a pitcher on, huh?
Starting point is 00:28:21 Of course. Yeah, I loved it. I like lived by it. I would check it every fucking three hours and be like, dude, 7.8. Check it out. In high school, we put a homie of mine on there and he was at like a nine percent or something.
Starting point is 00:28:32 We have to bring that back. You guys know, hot or not, it was like you put a picture of yourself and then the community of hot or not. This was like 2002, 2003, like early internet. It was like early internet. It was like, early internet. You think anybody popped off that? You think anybody who was like the hottest person
Starting point is 00:28:51 like got a call from a manager and then was on like, for sure. I bet you Hollywood was the last time that's how Nick Lache came to be. I said 98 degree. Yeah, they're like, they're putting it, Lou Porlman was putting together 98 degrees. I would be willing to bet thousands of dollars that there's a maximum hot or not issue best of hot or not. Wait, what are you willing to bet? I'm willing to bet thousands of dollars. Thousands that grow. Put a number on it.
Starting point is 00:29:20 Let's see. Maybe one of us wants to take this action. Yeah. Let's do this. That there's a hot or not maximum issue. So you're betting thousands that... What are you doing as your money managers? No, no, no. I feel like the two intersect so perfectly. Yeah, you should have been the editor. That man, I don't think they were doing that.
Starting point is 00:29:39 That's why nobody fucking reads that. All right, maybe not thousands, but they should have. This one's controversial. It's a double. there were two discs because the soundtrack was so good. Is the soundtrack to days and confused better than the movie? Oh, wow, that's interesting. That's a great question. Is it, it's, it's kind of impossible to separate because the, especially on that movie because that movie this sound track pushes the movie along so well and also gets you in the mood for those hot 70s dreams. Right. So is the accompaniment of the visual
Starting point is 00:30:16 better or not? That's what I'm saying. I actually didn't think the name Karen was correct. It's not fair because I have an aunt Karen who's just a really lovely lady. I feel like Barb is like a closer to what that is. Barbe is now. I disagree. I Susan. Susan's pretty good. Kurt Russell. He's the, he's, he's this golden right?
Starting point is 00:30:41 Yeah, I think he's still kind of like, hey man. He's clean. I'm here. Yeah, I'm steady I mean if you're not against this lack of commitment put a ring on it already. Did he marry Goldie? Spirit come on man, so your traditional list you believe in I am a Christian values You don't have sex till you're married. That is true. I forgot about the giant cross tattoo on your back. It's huge. I hope not everybody's born to play. I think I can hit one out at the call, see him.
Starting point is 00:31:10 I bet you could. Oh, shit. Thank you. No, you could not. Yeah, I could. Not in a million years, could you? If I have three months to practice, I'd hit it out. All right, Kyle. Okay. Star practicing today.
Starting point is 00:31:24 And in three months I guarantee you we could get you on the green. Is that what they call it? No in the batter's box. On the diamond. On the pitch. In the batter's box. Give me in the box. We'll get you in the box at the Coliseum and I want to see this happen. I bet we can. Blake has the end. He's played their twice. If you got pay for it Okay, yeah, what are we fans? Oh weird request. All right baseballs and Sure pay for what you got pay for access. You got pay for it. We're not gonna pay for it They're gonna let us do it. It's not gonna be during a game. You got pay for it. I'll do it
Starting point is 00:31:58 How you played baseball right is this true that like to hit it out of there, like the pitch needs to be at a certain sufficient speed coming in? Yeah, that's the biggest thing is I'd have to learn how to hit like 80 miles an hour. That's the turning on it is probably the hardest. Well, you're the one who said you need three months. Yeah, I think I could do that. All right, I'm excited to see it.
Starting point is 00:32:19 It actually would trim up my waistline, which I've been looking forward to doing. No, man, you gotta use that. That's the torque that you need to get around on that ball. Planck? Yes, that's gotta be the wings. wings, nice. What are you order wings from?
Starting point is 00:32:39 Louisiana! Enjoy Wing Night Inn with Popeyes. Popeyes hand battered wings a marinated full full 12 hours in Louisiana seasonings, and with five irresistible flavors, including Ghost Pepper, Honey Garlic and Garlic Pommajon, there's something for everyone. Mmm-hmm, we got in by Popeyes and the party were often. Make any night wing night in with Popeyes. When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk,
Starting point is 00:33:07 he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure. That night he was deciding whether not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional Networks and when I sat down with Isaacs in five weeks ago. He told me how he captured it all They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines And it's almost like kids playing on the playground Just choose them up left right in center and then like Dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde
Starting point is 00:33:42 He doesn't even remember it getting getting to Mars, doesn't excuse being a total f***. But I want the reader to see it in action. My name is Evan Ratliffe, and this is On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkays Podcast, Zone 7. Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island Serial Killer.
Starting point is 00:34:14 Here Carrie Rosson, daughter of the notorious Serial Killer BTK, weigh in on the accused Long Island Serial Killer's children. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it, but these guys can see like right through to your soul. So you have to be like walled off, prepared. And if you don't know your stuff, they're gonna just call you out and they're gonna be like, nope, I'm talking to somebody else.
Starting point is 00:34:38 I'm not talking to you. Here great insight from one of New York City's finest, Detective Joe Jackalone, a Col. K. Secksburg. You know, as well as I do, cops weren't even aware of it back then. So they're going to have some difficult to put those cases together unless, of course, he confesses. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.
Starting point is 00:35:04 Get ready because Aaron and Carissa from Calm Down have got something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland, a reading of Twisted Night Before Christmas. Bell infuse it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event starting Thursday to 7th as 7 p.m. Eastern as State Farm Park in I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long. Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the big screen
Starting point is 00:35:29 and try to be Jake's core at the parkour minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com slash I Heartland to start playing today. I think I would full on liposuction down to like 5% body fat. Just get rid of all of it. Just like that, over day, just be wrapped. Over day, the stooge said over day. Well, I'm not doing it overnight. I know, but I love over day.
Starting point is 00:35:54 I'm not doing it overnight. I'm doing it over the daytime. You go to like a store, they're like, we give you a lot of those suction over day. 20, two for one. I'm not doing it overnight though. I'm doing it over the day. That's cool.
Starting point is 00:36:09 I'm not going in at night time to get it done. I'm just a daytime procedure. I'm going to start in the morning and they're going to work however many hours it takes and get done probably by lunchtime. I'll go home and have a shredded ass six pack and back. And I
Starting point is 00:36:21 linger a football. And if you guys at home haven't watched this shit, it's not just like girls in underwear playing football. They light each other up. These fucking jock women in like, not scantily clad, but they're in like sports bras and like, I guess like underwear shaped, short to whatever, but they fucking light each other up.
Starting point is 00:36:42 These quarterbacks have cannons and these women are catching balls. They're checking people in the walls. It's fucking. There's YouTube. We found it. We found it when we lived at Hamlin. And it was like like scrolling through the direct TV.
Starting point is 00:36:55 It's like, want to read football league? What is this? Click it on it. Who do tell? Yeah. And then it's like, holy shit. This is like a great game. This is really good.
Starting point is 00:37:04 It's sad. Thinking a shit talk, one of those girls from from's like, holy shit, this is like a great game. This is really good. It's sad. Thinking of shit talk, one of those girls from that, like I like Clipper, whatever, had the best shit talk game. She was like, oh my God, did you shift your pants to some other girl? She's like, you fucking stink.
Starting point is 00:37:17 I'm like, she's in her head now. Oh man, what an ultimate slam. Did you shit your pants? That was a good one. I dreamed that we wire up every player of athlete, and that's all they say. That'd be a great thing, like even in the NFL, if you're the guy that's wired up,
Starting point is 00:37:34 if you're constantly just going like, oh my god, this guy's just shit is pants. Yeah. That's what they keep getting on CBS or wherever it's airing. That's hard knock, softball, hard knock. It's just being like, oh, P you, dude, you shit your pants. Eventually, I believe that DJing at that caliber and that level will evolve into you also are doing magic and illusions.
Starting point is 00:38:00 Just magician DJs. You're making people's money disappear. I'll tell you that. That's gonna be my new, my next Disney Plus move. That makes sense. Magician DJ. Oh, magic DJ. Yeah, magic DJ can't. That makes so much sense.
Starting point is 00:38:14 The drop of a DJ is just like the reveal of a magician. Yeah, does fly out. Come on. Yeah, that's awesome. Yeah. Are you gonna do that? Blake, please do this. Hot dog head.
Starting point is 00:38:24 Yeah. Hot dog head. Yeah, hot dog head Did you guys get those Those nipple things when you were going through puberty what's up? No, no, no, like your nipples hurt Yeah, dude no, I didn't remember the ball Yeah, I know what you're talking about I haven't thought about it in years Dude I remember those so that's why I like people would be like oh this one here they would grab it Yes, so bad. I've yes, maybe I'm still waiting for my growth spur because I've never heard of this really You never had that I
Starting point is 00:38:59 My mouth is right now Tweezing our new all of us are tough and they're pretty soft at're pretty soft at the end. Now imagine a marble in the tip. And that's what it used to be. A marble in the tip. Yeah. Yeah. I specifically remember like you were so. So did not get marble in your tip. Never mind. He also like you didn't get pit here until you were like I was a late bloomer. I didn't get it. I don't get it. No way. I don't know if it college. Yeah. That's why you guys are so. Yeah. Well, he's myself. I just remember grabbing either like Kyle or my friend Teddy's nipples Flipping out like dude that hurt really bad and it was like whoa, I thought I thought this was something we did man
Starting point is 00:39:45 I love how quiet you got when you're like I just remember grabbing Kyle's Pinching like you know, it's like friends we pinch nipple I don't know Kyle how did you feel when I did that no? I haven't thought about it forever and yet hurt so fucking bad And what are those things? Oh? What is that? and forever and yet hurt so fucking bad. And what are those things? What was it called? What is that? What is a Google? That's a Google. I think it's your body being like,
Starting point is 00:40:09 are these gonna be titties? And then your other part of your body is like, no, no, we're holding off. And it's like, wait, we were just trying to make titties. So that's like scientific. That's like the test hot. Those are estrogen plots. So those could be estrogen plots.
Starting point is 00:40:19 I think that's a good one. And then the test toss to ruin it, that point is like, nah. Yeah, exactly. And so what the fuck? It forms a marble. That could also be wild milk, right? A milk, right?
Starting point is 00:40:29 Yeah, well this is, no, no, no, are you kidding? This is exactly what it is. Yeah, that's important. It is. That is important. When I moved here to my friends were in a softball league with Nitro from American Gladiators. They were like, we just want to meet people.
Starting point is 00:40:44 They joined up and they're like, dude, Nitro is in our softball league with Nitro from American Gladiators. They were like, we just want to meet people. They joined up and they're like, dude, Nitro is in our softball league. And I was like, we're in Hollywood, baby. Whatever happened, didn't they try to bring back American Gladiators and just sort of? Yeah, it was back. It was good. Yeah, what happened with that?
Starting point is 00:40:58 That sucks, it was canceled too quickly, man. Give it some time to shine. Yeah. It was kind of a bandaid for the writer's guild strike in what, oh, six or five or whatever that was. Oh yeah. They like didn't have any TV, they need a reality TV, they brought back American Glide Aiders and said, take that, WGA.
Starting point is 00:41:16 Now, for those of you guys listening, WGA is the writer's guild of America. And sometimes they go on strike and TV doesn't happen. So American Glide Aiders happened. What did they go on strike and TV doesn't happen. So American Gladiators happened. Where'd you go on strike again? And now it's the rock show Titan's games. That's right. It's just okay. That game.
Starting point is 00:41:32 Well, I don't want to sound like a sociopath, but it's too much of like the personal story. I don't give a fuck. Mm. Like go out there and play against the gladiators. That's what was awesome about American Gladiators is you just, before you knew it, you were in the game. You were in the eventiators. That's what was awesome about American gladiators, is you just, before you knew it, you were in the game. You were in the event.
Starting point is 00:41:47 Well, that's why American Ninja Warrior rules is because it's the same with gladiators. You're like, oh, I could do that, even if you couldn't, even if you like, probably would just get your ass kicked. You believe like, yeah, you know what, I would, I'd shoot for the leg and I'd take him down. I watch Pinocchio.
Starting point is 00:42:05 Oh, terrifying. Yeah, that's got a crazy part. The scariest movie, and I was high. I was super, I was like, you know what, I wanna watch Pinocchio and just, you know, eight, like six out of balls and like smoked a joint to myself. And truly terrifying.
Starting point is 00:42:22 Pig Island? I mean, yeah. It's been a minute. Here's the story breakdown and like quick beats. and truly terrified. Pig Island? I mean, yeah. It's been a minute. Here's the story breakdown and like Quick Beats. I've been a minute, so I've seen it. You've never seen it. It was a 1940s movie.
Starting point is 00:42:32 It's so old. Yeah, very old. And then, so, this, Jepetto, he's super Italian. Kind of forgot how like, that, and he is, even though his name's Jepetto, you should know that.
Starting point is 00:42:43 I think he's the basis of all Italian people from that type. Yeah. All the name's Jepetto. I think he's the basis of all Italian people from that. Yeah, all the stereotypes is Jepetto. Thanks, Dan. And he's like really into, he's kind of weirdo. He's like really into woodworking and just makes clocks. And whenever he's trying to party, he rocks all the clocks at lunch,
Starting point is 00:42:59 which makes an insane, pretty annoying noise. And him and his cat dance. So he is carving that's how you meet the guy. Yeah, he's carving this Pinocchio and he's like, I wish he was a real boy and then prays to the star, this fairy comes down, it's a real boy. What do you wish upon a star? Who's wishing upon the star?
Starting point is 00:43:18 Oh, Jimmy Cricket is Jimmy Cricket. He's like the host of the movie. Yeah, he's the narrator. He's the conscience. Yes, let him be your guide. Yeah, a little whistle. Yes, exactly. I remember.
Starting point is 00:43:32 So anyway, so he becomes a real boy. The first thing Jepetto does, which is an insane move is he goes, guess what? You gotta go to school today. First day, this kid's alive. Damn. Doesn't even spend a day like going have some fun,
Starting point is 00:43:43 going to the water park or something. Chappettos, a working man. I guess, yeah, yeah, it has to work. It's got, it's got to earn a skin. I mean, it was the middle of the night that this kid came alive. You don't even kick with the kids. So anyways, he goes.
Starting point is 00:43:53 It's bad for the, but that is weird. He's like, my one wish is that you're a real boy. Okay, get the fuck out of my hair. Get the fuck out of my hair. Get the fuck out of my hair. Once you go to real school, my mother. Yeah, so then he doesn't even walk him to school.
Starting point is 00:44:05 He doesn't even walk the kid to school. This is a child. This is a wooden child. First day of life. He's a real boy, you have. No, he's not. He is a real. You're right.
Starting point is 00:44:14 That's the whole plot of the movie. Yeah, he wants to be real. Well, is that what it is? He's not actually real, because he's still wooden. He's still wooden. So he's sent him out to school. Then this like, gnarly fox comes and was like, oh shit, I'm gonna sell this guy in his slavery allegedly does
Starting point is 00:44:27 sells him into like this this Marionette like puppeteer guy, right who's a psychopath locks him in a cage Jimny cricket gets him they sneak out then they get spoilers 1940 spoiler coming in hot welcome to this is 40 spoiler coming in hot. Welcome to this is Disney movies. Letting the whole room know that there's your poop in that potted plant is something of,
Starting point is 00:44:51 I don't, what is that? Well, it was the confidence that was built through that half hour to where I got a rapport with this audience and it was going great. It was a great show and they were fully on board with everything I was doing. So you just were like, I'm unstoppable. Guys, I gotta be honest, it was a great night.
Starting point is 00:45:10 I shit. And you know, just the honesty that I was trying to have with this crowd and just admitting like, hey, I didn't think it was gonna go well because I shit in that pot of plant right before getting on stage. And people were like, what? Why throw weird lie after he's built this rapport
Starting point is 00:45:26 with us right now? And then I was like, yo, go check that potted plant. Someone did and he's like, there's a shit in here. I just remember somebody telling a story about how they're like, in their bed with their girlfriend at the time. And the rats were like under their bed scratching her head. And they were like, what was that noise? And they was like, oh, not that's just the gush.
Starting point is 00:45:46 That was me and my ex-girlfriend, and I remember I told her it was the pipes. Because you heard like, on the hardwood floor, you heard like the rat, like, ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch. On the way in. And she was like, what's that? And I go, uh, an old house, it's just old pipes. You just were like rats, rats rattling pipes.
Starting point is 00:46:08 Rattatouille. Ratt. Dude, that wasn't nice. Dude, can you imagine? No, if it was a ratatouille who jumped in your hair and taught you how to fuck right? There we go. There's a Ratatouille too. A ratatouille too. Movie idea. I just watched Ratatouille for the first time very recently. What is a Rat Tatooie?
Starting point is 00:46:30 Well, it's a dish. I thought it was a food. It is. Okay, great. But where are you seeing it now? I said, it's a Pixar movie and you said right, but I thought it was a food. You also said that you know it was both of those things. But you also said that it lands in the back of your hair and tells you how to fuck. That's what a rat to two. And I'm like how does the dish land in the back of your hair and tell you
Starting point is 00:46:49 You see in ratatouille. Oh my god No, it's a man. I do understand. It's a movie that stars a mouse is the mouse named rat to rat and the man and the man. No, no, no, hold on. It's the mouse named. It's a rat named rat to eat basically Basically, I don't know. Okay, no, that's fucking bullshit. Is it known as a rat to eatatouille? It's a rat. Basically. I don't know if it's a ratatouille. That's fucking bullshit. Is it known as a Ratatouille? Is ET's name ET? Well, it's the name.
Starting point is 00:47:11 I don't know. I don't know. What should we name the male Karen? And like Kyle was always on the list. Oh yeah. Well, it's the Harkay. It's the sound that is... I thought Chad is a better choice.
Starting point is 00:47:24 I honestly thought Chad is the one. I talk about Chad and Derek's for like 20 minutes on my stand-up special. A Todd. Todd's good. It's all Todd. Yeah, I feel like Chad is a bro. Well, Todd, to me, sounds like a dumb guy.
Starting point is 00:47:37 Like, oh, good one, Todd. Yeah, Todd's an idiot. Good one, Todd. But that's who these people are. These people are idiots, right? That's the whole thing. Yeah, for sure. Chad is more aggro. Chad yeah young from in my mind he's a young soul okay oh wow interesting Chad is a young soul oh wait were we not talking about souls uh you know no I
Starting point is 00:47:57 will actually want to transition to souls that's why I picked up with Honduras is he always talking souls yeah I don't have one so I just like to talk about. Talk about all, baby. Oh, come on, give yourself some credit. You got a beautiful heart in there, somewhere. There should be one bully for high school, and you run for it just like you run for Prompkin. That would be my own.
Starting point is 00:48:21 He gets to bully, he's the funniest bully, what he says is usually true, that you are ugly. You are an nerd. And he gets to ride on the back of everyone's wheelchair. Yeah. They would, they'd always take my wheelchair and push that shit. I'm like, this isn't your job, man.
Starting point is 00:48:38 This is just a logic wheelchair. If you had an electric wheelchair in my high school, you were somebody's ride to class. That was just the deal you made with the environment. I never got the, I think my parents didn't have enough money to spring for the electric one. They were like, yeah, well, someone's pushing you. I don't want this chisel-dash, Chris Hemsworth ordering pizza.
Starting point is 00:48:58 I want Adam DeVine with a dark ordering pizza. No, he's delivering it. He's delivering it. Are you delivering it? Well, I was in order and I was the pizza delivery guy. I was delivering it. Well, that's okay, because I was once a delivery guy
Starting point is 00:49:10 and I know how you sneak slices in the car, bro. I mean, it's all good. You would eat the pizza? What? What? Well, a couple toppings, yeah, here and there, you know what I mean? I was serious. I was also a pizza delivery guy
Starting point is 00:49:22 and you have broken code. You are going to hell. That is breaking code. Well, I mean I didn't come on guys Everybody takes a little topic here. There come on how dare you listen to him Back up now come on that is breaking code. They trust you with the pizza. Why don't do it anymore? I don't deliver anymore. So this is like God Just get it off your chest you're getting it off your chest. I got you You got to be prepared for what's gonna happen. Yes, you guys talking to silver silver war that's gonna Silver war. Hey, no, that's what people are talking about now. I said civil I said civil, but we're talking about silver I'm talking about you notice
Starting point is 00:49:59 Okay, hey, hey rewind the podcast rewind the podcast and check the taste if I said silver or civil I think it's about to be a goddamn civil war in this podcast booth right now. I want to say you said silver war in Workaholics. I think Adam Demamp said that once yeah, no, that's it. Yeah, what's great about playing this dumbass character of Adam Demamp Is I got mess up and say a lot of stupid shit That just ended up in the show We're keeping it. Yeah, I Think my best trick was the skid. Oh my god, dude. I could just lay some fucking Skid I could skid for days. I was the hardest skider on the block
Starting point is 00:50:42 That was the best way to arrive. You're still laying skid marks, right? Yeah, baby, laying a little tire on a pavement. Hello. I'm talking about in your undies. If you saw a homie from across the playground and you just darted over to him and then went like, whoosh. Like a skier, like, what's up?
Starting point is 00:50:58 That was always the move. Yeah, you had to see who could skid the longest. Oh, yeah. Not in there. You're talking about from like turning to the side too, right? Not just like the straights. Not straights. Oh, that's a nurse.
Starting point is 00:51:09 Yeah. You turn? Yeah, you turn and you fucking, you tail it all. I'm fine. You guys ever fuck with some super suckers? Oh, dude. Oh hell yeah. I mean by Laramie.
Starting point is 00:51:19 Laramie. What'd you guys have? Ooh. Did you just have to stand? Everybody had a 50. Yeah, I have to have to stand with the 50 Everybody had a 50. You had to have the 50. You had to have the 50 and now that's what you would tuck in your pants, and then you would have the 500,
Starting point is 00:51:31 the double banger. That was the 200. Two tanks, whatever that one was. The 500 had the backpack. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:41 Can we just go from the bottom up and like, let me get reminded of this, what is that? By the way, super-treaker does not exist anymore. Didn't we look this up in the WorkHolix Riders room? It like doesn't exist. Why not? Maybe they're sitting on it till some guy pays $4 million for the 50.
Starting point is 00:51:55 Yeah, we go. We can do it. This is important. That's something I would collect. Yeah, I want to say that there was a 5, 10, 15, 30. There was for sure a 50, a 75, and a 100, and then a 200. Okay, so the 75 was what, what color was that? Orange and yellow.
Starting point is 00:52:12 That was the orange and yellow one, so the 100 was the green one. No, blue. The 100 was blue. Or was that the 50? No, the 100 was blue and yellow. Okay, okay. The 50 was green bottle yellow gun. The old lady.
Starting point is 00:52:24 That was the entry one. Everybody had the 50. 50 was just the first.. That was the entry one. Everybody had the 50. 50 was just the first. Yeah, that's the first. Because it was called the Super Soaker 50 because it shot 50 feet. Oh shit, I never knew that. Oh, what happened was nerf bought Super Soaker
Starting point is 00:52:34 and kind of ruined it. If we're being real, nerf tried to nerf a size. They nerfed the Super Soaker and then just turned it into some nerf shit, man. What did they do to it? It just, it looks like it doesn't hold as much water. It's just kind of whack as hell. People also started putting bleach and urine in them
Starting point is 00:52:52 and shooting 50 feet and taking off like shooting convertibles and shit. I'd like to apologize early for doing that as a teenager. Did you? I'm just, I'm lying. I'm lying. Booners''''''' nuts knuck in foot. There's a bumper sticker to spooners. Sunking go nuts. Tuck my sits. Yeah that that's it. Wait what
Starting point is 00:53:14 did you say? Tuck my sits. You said what? Tuck my sits. Yeah... You get it? That's uh... Kinda, I... That's up. Suck my fits. No, tuck my fits. Tuck. Tuck my fits. He's riding it down. Suck my fits.
Starting point is 00:53:39 Yes, that's gotta be the wings. Wing's nice. Where'd you order wings from? Louisiana! Enjoy Wing Night in with Popeyes. Popeyes hand-battered wings a marinated full full 12 hours in Louisiana's seasonings, and with five irresistible flavors, including Ghost Pepper, Honey Garlic and Garlic Pommajon, there's something for everyone.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Mmm, mmm, we got in by Popeyes and the party more often. Make any night Wing Night in with Popeye. That chicken from Popeye's. When Walter Isaacson set out to write his biography of Elon Musk, he believed he was taking on a world-changing figure. That night he was deciding whether or not to allow Starlink to be enabled to allow a sneak attack on Crimea. What he got was a subject who also sowed chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social
Starting point is 00:54:29 emotional networks. When I sat down with Isaacs in five weeks ago, he told me how he captured it all. They had Kansas spray paint and they're just putting big axes on machines and it's almost like kids playing on the playground, just choose them up left, right, and center. And then like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, he doesn't even remember it, getting the bars, done an excuse being a total f***. But I want the reader to see it in action.
Starting point is 00:54:54 My name is Evan Ratliffe, and this is On Musk with Walter Isaacson. Join us in this four-part series as Isaacson breaks down how he captured a vivid portrait of a polarizing genius. Listen to On Musk on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts. I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkays Podcast, Zone 7. Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island Serial Killer. Here, Kerry Rosson, daughter of the notorious Serial Killer BTK,
Starting point is 00:55:22 weigh in on the accused Long Island serial killer's children. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it. But these guys can see like right through to your soul. So you have to be like walled off, prepared. And you if you don't know your stuff, they're going to just call you out. And they're going to be like, no, I'm talking to somebody else. I'm not talking to you. Here great insight from one of New York City's finest
Starting point is 00:55:48 detective Joe Jackalone, a Col. K. Secksburg. You know, as well as I do, cops weren't even aware of it back then. So they're going to have some difficulty putting those cases together, unless, of course, he confesses. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever
Starting point is 00:56:07 you get your podcast. Get ready because Aaron and Karissa from Calm Down have got something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland, a reading of Twisted Night Before Christmas. Bell and Puset with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event, starting Thursday to 7th as 7 p.m. Eastern as State Farm Park in I Heartland and Fortnite, available all weekend long. Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the big screen and try to be Jake Skore at the parkour minigame. Visit iHeartRadio.com
Starting point is 00:56:37 slash iHeartland to start playing today. I was fast. Yeah. Nobody could tag me. I have a sneaking suspicion that everyone fast wasn't playing tag. They were playing real sports. See Blake. Yeah, Blake. You didn't play out of the track. I'm the track mate. No one could tag me. My fucker. They're out playing flag football. Okay. well, there were other activities that weren't sanctioned sports that you had to be good at on my block. One was tagged, the other was steal the bacon, and I was nasty on that.
Starting point is 00:57:15 Yo, steal the bacon, so ruthless. You want to know the other one? Kick the can. Can you ever play that? That game was ruthless. Did you grow up in the 50s? I know. I grew up in a field in Iowa. Adam's getting like shanked with knives and you're like kicking cans. Bro, we lived in a court. You like you can play games like that. What is
Starting point is 00:57:35 take the can? Yeah. Kick the can is so tight. I caught myself just like touching people probably more than I normally would. What? Like true guys, I was just like kind of... Oh, because of lack of human contact. Yeah, and I know that they don't have it, and you haven't touched another person in So God Damn Long. Yeah, as soon as you get the green light, you're... Yeah, that's...
Starting point is 00:57:59 ...handsy. These guys did have a certain musculature that made you want to grab them. Oh my God, these professional shark divers, can we talk about a fucking hot they were? Please do. I'm over here right now. I wasn't there. I'm gonna stop you.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Give me the description. You're talking it wrongly. We're at it. Long. There was a, for real, there was this dude, Aaron Gray, that was, I mean, he, a local Bahamian gentleman. Bahamian?
Starting point is 00:58:24 Yes. Bahamian? Bahamian. Bahamian? Bahamian? Bahamian? Bahamian? Bahamian? Bahamian? Uh, ripped, dude. Just like, like, and he had like this wetsuit? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:58:34 That fit him well. Why was that wetsuit so much cooler? Why don't we all have trucks? Trucks freaking rock, dude. Totally. Let's get some flatbed. Someone be flatbed, boy. Let's get some flatbeds. Someone be flatbed boys.
Starting point is 00:58:47 Piles got flatbed? Yeah, he does. I've been on it a few times. Dude, what? Oh my gosh. Yeah, Wind is Wine Mouth kick in. Wind is it kick in? It could be two bottles.
Starting point is 00:58:58 If you're drinking shitty wine, I want to say, maybe it leaves a film, or maybe it's a sign of great wine. Yeah, that's the good stuff. It could also be like a black light for brushing teeth if like Genovitis. Teasing a wild. Tarzan Listerine guy hasn't swung through that mouth. That's another It's a gingivitis indicator. So you're always gonna get real shocked. Hey, guys, how to avoid wine mouth.
Starting point is 00:59:28 Brush your teeth before eating, not after. The tanens in the wine cling to any plaque on your teeth. So, technically, if you got more plaque on your teeth, you're gonna get more wine mouth. This just made it so much worse. Yeah, me too. This motherfucker doesn't brush his teeth. It is, the wine mouth is the black light of oral hygiene.
Starting point is 00:59:45 Mm. You know what video I get sent every once in a while is Who gets the dog? Oh, man. Oh, damn. Who gets the dog? Dude. We won a dog, me, Kyle and our old roommate Teddy.
Starting point is 01:00:07 We won a dog on a TV show called Who Gets the Dog, where three groups of like family or friends, three different groups battle over like who the dog likes more and who they feel would be the best fit for this dog. And then we ended up winning. And I like, I got on all fours because I'm a fucking cheese dick ham and acted like a dog to like win. I was like Roo yeah, it was really a testament to our acting like being like we want to win so bad. We'll put on what we'll say whatever we have to say all the heartstrings of America. I knew on the dog. Yeah, on the dog. And then they we have this this
Starting point is 01:00:44 dog Rocky who now lives with a with Teddy's family, I'm the dog and then they we have this this dog Rocky who now lives with With Teddy's family I think What's the deal are you eating sushi? Yes, you can't do that right now. They're sanitized. What is the fish? The fish is sanitized the people you put the fish on and eat it off the people you put the fish on and eat it off. I mean, you're seriously. Out where I live, like sometimes in the middle of the night, the packs of coyotes will get something
Starting point is 01:01:11 and they will just go crazy. No, no, no. Like crazy. And you hear the animal that they got, like screaming and stuff. It is the most, like, fucking leave me alone. Leave me the fuck alone. No, don't kill me. Oh, not my face. Don't eat my face first. Yeah, it's leave me alone. Leave me the fuck alone. No, don't kill me. Oh, no, my face.
Starting point is 01:01:25 Don't eat my face first. Yeah, it's my ass first. Oh, just please eat my ass. Eat my ass. Yeah. Honey, honey, the coyotes are out there again. Eat my ass. Please eat my ass first.
Starting point is 01:01:40 Oh, God. Why not my face? Just focus on the ass, please. What are you doing out there? That's what I'm definitely saying that. I'm definitely saying that when if I get attacked by anything, it's just like, please eat my ass first and then eat what?
Starting point is 01:01:55 Kyle just walks into the woods, just ass first, just ready to get gobbled. Are you going out to the woods again? I'm laying traps. I'm laying more traps. Just eat my ass. Eat my ass. That's what I hope my ghost says in the afterlife. What was on these mix tapes? And who are you giving them to? Because I know you and your friends weren't fucking in high school. Yeah, if there was no Jill Scott in there, you're disqualifying.
Starting point is 01:02:23 It's true. I know I know the whole crew. That wasn't a high school fucking crew right there. Not at all. No, no disc there. It's a cold. We did go to strip clubs though. A lot of magic to gathering. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:35 Yeah. Gathering something. I remember when, I think I must have been living with Teddy or something, but I remember at Camden when we lived together, he came over and like your friends came in town and I was like, oh shit, we're going to party and everything. And then you guys played Magic the Gathering for four days straight. And I don't know how to play.
Starting point is 01:02:58 And so it's just me kind of drinking sitting around inside the circle being like, is anyone with? Yeah, did it? We're trying to go do, like, now we're, this mage is, I don't even know how to make fun of it because I truly don't know magic to gathering at all. So, you found yourself knee deep in a booster draft, brother. You buy a box, you make a deck, you go at it
Starting point is 01:03:18 for about four days with your tightest bros and you come out stronger for it. It's a bro bon. We're talking about the cameras at the front of the house, to make sure people aren't shitting on your doorstep or any weird stuff. Home security cameras. Right, the cameras at the front of your house.
Starting point is 01:03:38 And the back and all around and inside for some people I know, Isaac. Oh yeah. Well, I got robbed like a handful years ago, that's when I put mine up. And my neighbor told me, this is how shitty neighbors are in Los Angeles, like they truly don't give a fuck. The guy, my neighbor was like, oh yeah, I told him I got robbed and he was like,
Starting point is 01:03:58 oh yeah, I saw someone digging through your trash wearing screen masks. What? Two guys. And I'm like, you didn't think to call the police and it goes, nah, I just figured it was someone just looking for cans or something. And I'm like, in a screen mask, that's so terrifying.
Starting point is 01:04:14 That's amazing. Yeah, they were actually robbing your house in screen masks. Apparently. That's kind of fucking baller. Yeah, that is sick. Yeah. It's off the charts.
Starting point is 01:04:22 Until you're stabbed to death. By the way, your neighbor robbed you and then told you there were some people with scream masks going through your garbage so that you're totally thrown. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. 100%. That'd be tight.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Because the first thing you're thinking is, well, it's definitely not this asshole who just saw them. It didn't tell me. Right. Look at me. Sherlock home. Oh.
Starting point is 01:04:43 All of a sudden, I just hear him playing on a Casio keyboard holding an antique rifle. Is that what was taken from you? Yeah, there's like two things got stolen. Who plays the keyboard? You play keyboard? My, yeah man, I took the ivory's. They're not ivory's, they're plastic on a keyboard player.
Starting point is 01:04:59 Well, these are, this was a lead level Casio, B. Oh, damn, you killed the elephant. You get like toilet paper and remnants there and I'm like, get it out of there. Maybe allegedly there was tons of three, so I'm happening between the maid, the wife, right, maybe the animals are in there, they're watching. I'm not sure.
Starting point is 01:05:20 My opinion, my own opinion from the outside, I don't like that. I don't like that. I don't like that. So he's kind of a piece of shit. I wear Spandex shorts and I get after it. I don't like that. There is penile enlargement surgery and it's $15,000 with an upfront $1,000.
Starting point is 01:05:40 Is that it? That's a deal. No, that's $78. We should make a bet and whoever wins the bet, we all pitch in and get that person a bigger tick. Ooh, that'd be fun. I like that. But do we do a percentage wise or like you automatically
Starting point is 01:05:57 have to add four inches? Ooh. I think it's you're gonna work with whatever they say they could give you. Is that what it is? I don't think they can say, I don't think you could go, I want four inches. Right.
Starting point is 01:06:08 They kind of take pieces of skin from your body and add it all up into a pile. Okay. It says that it can increase length and girth, measurement around the penis, which is girth, of about one and a half to two and a half inches while flaccid and erect. That's a lot. An extra two and a half inches. I don't like a 14 inch dick. Okay, all right. Two and a half inches dead. That is crazy. Adam, what about you? What's your surgery? You know, I don't know, I think for sure, Dick. But also beyond that, I feel like all over some of that. I think you say it's dick and then, it's a two-fer, it's a two-fer.
Starting point is 01:06:52 If you get the dick, you get the other one for free. If you can get an extra two and a half inches, that's a jam bone right there. I don't want it. This motherfucker at our callback. I don't know, probably, I see I'm not losing my hair yet, but I know I've seen my father and I see all the men in my family and they're all pretty fucking bald. Mother's dad was bald.
Starting point is 01:07:15 He died when he was like 40 and he still had hair. Like the photos he still had hair, but I'm like, is that just how he's combing it? I don't know. My mom said he had a full head, but there was not a lot of photos. I just want, what's cool is that you're like, I'm worried about my hair falling out, but my mom's dad, he died at 40, but I'm not worried about that.
Starting point is 01:07:34 You know, how the complications. I'm worried about the hair. It's an elective surgery. He had a heart attack because he was like an alcoholic, you know? So I'm not stopping drinking, man. Damn, I'm home, baby. Let the good times go. Yeah, wow.
Starting point is 01:07:49 Remember when workaholics, when we had a dog eat my ass? And it was like, oh, yeah. What? It was the bulldog from modern family. It was like, well, it licked Mountain Dew Code Red out of your butt, crack. Wait, that was the episode? That was the entire episode. Ha, ha, ha. Now, that was that was the episode. That was the entire episode.
Starting point is 01:08:06 Now, what was what was the plot? It was the one where we went back to school and I was teasing the National Guard or the Coast Guard. The Coast Guard. Yeah. Oh, sure, sure, sure. They like track me down with their dog and they're like, poor code, red down his butt crack and make the dog with it. And like, in a TV show, you're like, ha ha, that's funny.
Starting point is 01:08:26 How are we practically doing this? And everyone's like, we're putting peanut butter on your butt, and then we're gonna have the dog like, yes! That's not a practical movie magic, baby. We did you the justice of not putting it in near the hole. It was like on your cheek, right? The justice.
Starting point is 01:08:43 Probably felt hell-a-good. Yeah, the service. Yeah, but you think the dog, it was like on your cheek, right? The justice. Probably felt hella good. Yeah, the service. Yeah, but you think the dog's gonna be like, oh, I'll be right over here. Yeah, no, it went for it. He lived the credit card. Yeah. I was on set that day.
Starting point is 01:08:55 That was a good morning. That was a really good morning, I remember. That's a real big meal. Fantastic morning. I'm surprised the animal people weren't like, absolutely no way, because they're pretty fucking weird. And if you just turn in and out, this is important. It's very important.
Starting point is 01:09:10 This is important. [♪ Music playing in background, playing in background, hand-battered wings a marinated full of full 12 hours in Louisiana seasonings, and with five irresistible flavors, including Ghost Pepper, Honey Garlic, and Garlic Pommajon, there's something for everyone. We got in by Popeyes and the party were often. Make it in night Wing Night in with Popeyes. Let's get chicken from Popeyes. Check it from Popeye's. Walter Isaacson set out to write about a world-changing genius in Elon Musk and found a man addicted
Starting point is 01:09:50 to chaos and conspiracy. I'm thinking it's idiotic to buy Twitter because he doesn't have a fingertip feel for social emotional networks. The book launched a thousand hot takes, so I sat down with Isaacson to try to get past the noise. I like the fact that people who say I'm not as tough on muskers as should be or always using anecdotes from my book to show why we should be tough on musk. Join me, Evan Ratliffe, for on musk with Walter Isaacson. Listen on the iHeart Radio app Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.
Starting point is 01:10:20 I'm Cheryl McCollum, host of the Colkase podcast, Zone 7. Join us every Wednesday to hear cases like the Long Island Cereo Killer. You show like genuine interest and you can't fake it. These guys can see like right through to your soul. So you have to be like prepared. If you don't know your stuff, they're going to just call you out. Listen to Zone 7 with Cheryl McCollum on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast. Get ready because Erin and Karissa from Calm Down have got something special coming up at State Farm Park in I Heartland,
Starting point is 01:10:56 a reading of Twisted Night Before Christmas. Dell infused it with stories and memories tying into the holiday spirit. Don't miss this special event starting Thursday to 7th as 7 p.m. Eastern at State Farm Park and I Heartland in Fortnite, available all weekend long. Afterwards, stick around and check out all the exciting things State Farm has to offer. Say hi to Jake from State Farm on the big screen and try to beat Jake's core at the parkour minigame.
Starting point is 01:11:17 Visit iHeartRadio.com slash I Heartland to start playing today. to start playing today.

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