This Past Weekend - E482 Magnet Love

Episode Date: February 14, 2024

Theo is back with another solo episode of This Past Weekend, getting into the Valentine’s Day spirit by listening to love songs, chatting about his first romances, checking in with the unbustable Ri...ley Mau, and taking some calls from the lovers out there, including one about a very unusual IHOP date. ------------------------------------------------ Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com ------------------------------------------------- Sponsored By: Celsius: Go to the Celsius Amazon store to check out all of their flavors. #CELSIUSBrandPartner #CELSIUSLiveFit  https://amzn.to/3HbAtPJ  LIquid IV: Go to http://liquidiv.com and use code THEO to get 20% off your first order.  Shopify: Go to http://shopify.com/theo to sign up for a $1-per-month free trial. ------------------------------------------------- Music: "The Devil, God & Me" by Evan Bartels  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cZa3Egu9xTQ Music: “There Is a Light” by Stonekeepers  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlYmX8jvwz8 ------------------------------------------------ Submit your funny videos, TikToks, questions and topics you'd like to hear on the podcast to: tpwproducer@gmail.com Hit the Hotline: 985-664-9503 Video Hotline for Theo Upload here: https://www.theovon.com/fan-upload Send mail to: This Past Weekend 1906 Glen Echo Rd PO Box #159359 Nashville, TN 37215 ------------------------------------------------ Find Theo: Website: https://theovon.com Instagram: https://instagram.com/theovon Facebook: https://facebook.com/theovon Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/thispastweekend Twitter: https://twitter.com/theovon YouTube: https://youtube.com/theovon Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/TheoVonClips Shorts Channel: https://bit.ly/3ClUj8z ------------------------------------------------ Producer: Zach https://www.instagram.com/zachdpowers Producer: Nick https://www.instagram.com/realnickdavis/ Producer: Colin https://instagram.com/colin_reiner Producer: Riley https://www.instagram.com/rileymaufilms/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 At Bet three, six, five, we don't do ordinary. We believe that every sport should be epic. Every goal, every game, every point, every play from the moments that are remembered forever to the ones you've already forgotten, whether it's a game winning goal in the final seconds of overtime or a shot on goal in the first period. So whatever the sport, whatever the moment, it's never ordinary. At Bet three, six, five must be nice and older. Ontario, it's very responsible. If you or someone must be 19 or older, Ontario, and it's very responsible.
Starting point is 00:00:26 If you or someone you know has concerns about gambling, visit connexontario.ca. All right. It's done. It don't have to be perfect, guys. You know, it's just life. It's just life. I'm talking to myself really, but also whoever's listening, it doesn't have to be perfect, baby, it's just life.
Starting point is 00:00:49 The perfection's already been done. That's one thing I gotta remember a lot of times. The perfection has already been done by a higher power. I'm just, I don't have, yeah. I just gotta show up and just, and just try my best, baby. Happy Valentine's to you. And that's what's going on.
Starting point is 00:01:20 This love, baby, you know, you could hear a Cupid drawing that bow back. And you don't know where he is. He could be on a rooftop. He could be in a backyard. You'll be walking along and then what's that? And next thing you see baby, you're gonna wanna, you're gonna wanna hump baby. You know what I'm talking about? You're gonna wanna hump it or do something with it or just rub up against it. God, show me something God. But that's who Cupid is baby.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Cupid out there, he got that thing on him. He got that Draco, that love bow on him. Shoo, shoo, shoo. You get hit, he's the damn Chris Kyle of love. Just, just shoo, shoo, shoo. And look, I think they should put a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a He'll hit you next thing you know you out there you touching on the milk man You know He'll get hit by Coupodero and next thing you know you out there you trying to lip lock on the damn AT&T service provider you you know you trying to slurp face on some on some do with a couple of damn
Starting point is 00:02:59 Cables in his truck If you get lit you get lit And that's the thing to be lit up with love cables in his truck. If you get lit, you get lit. And that's the thing, to be lit up with love. That's the thing, I wanna be love all the time, not even to be in love with somebody, but just to just feel that energy. That's what I wanna feel, you know? And sometimes you get hit by a cupid's arrow
Starting point is 00:03:23 and next thing you see the damn mailman or something and you trying to You know you trying to flex on him you trying to reach in his bag and sniff all of his perfume samples or whatever You trying to nose up that bag baby That delivery sack he's got on him. You just you trying to Just just huff on everything he's got on him you just you trying to just just huff on everything he's got and male person I should say I don't want to say I don't think you say male man you know it's I call I'll be honest with you yes I've called a male woman or female I guess some woman who is delivering male I don't know what they want to be called or don't but I called one of them this lady
Starting point is 00:04:09 I'm not gonna say she seemed like a guy or whatever, but I think You know if if somebody saw or they'd say a fellow what up So she kind of was giving off that you know she was giving a lot of dude and Anyway, just it's okay. It is what it is, baby. I don't know what I'm talking about, and I never have. But Happy Valentine, that's what I want to say. It's a day to think about love. It's a time to feel about love. We got some beautiful tunes right here too.
Starting point is 00:04:45 Let me crack into a couple of instrumentals right here. Oh, yeah. That's that Mexicano love. Oh yeah. That's that Mexicano love. That Amor. Eh Amor. You want some? I want Amor.
Starting point is 00:05:20 That's that Mexican love, bro. And that's, look, that's a Mexican love. That shit can get Latino love or whatever. More de amigos, Latinos, Mexicanos, legales, amigos. uh, la he latinos mexicanos legales uh, amigos um, but that's the love like mexican love is wild
Starting point is 00:05:55 cause a latino girl she'll like be I love you and then she'll be like I'm going to tear your heart out and cook it at your father's home and you're like okay that's you know that seemed like a lot you know, they'll be like I love you so much me and mano yo vivo
Starting point is 00:06:14 More for you I'm going to saw your feet off your body and hide them in the desert You're like, okay, well, that's, they just very passionate. That's a passionate group right there. But they got love over there, that Mexican love, baby. What else we got? And that's,
Starting point is 00:06:34 Lejos de ti, by Clara Mendes. That's who that was, beautiful instrumental. Let's pull in another tune we got here. beautiful instrumental. Let's pull in another tune we got here. Okay. Okay, somebody. This is somebody, this is somebody probably jerking off by a, in a park, you know, by a pond or something like that. Just feeding the ducks, as they call it, in a lot of homeless cultures, I believe. So that's a sad one. That's a sad one for that's a sad one that's a sad one for
Starting point is 00:07:26 Valentine's you but that's a it's a sad one okay let's hear another one if we got here okay This that funk love baby, the disco baby. Yeah, yeah. Let me hide a little bit of LSD up in your head. I feel me that's kind of this. Oh, that's... Girl, let me come over oh yeah that's one of them body wash brothers right there
Starting point is 00:08:11 that's that you could that dude that's the kind of guy who just use a lot of body wash right there you could tell by his voice listen to that man Oh, yeah. Let me wash your body tonight. That's a guy, he just got unlimited body wash. You call him over, he roll right into your place. He start wash, he'll wash your body, he'll wash his body. He'll down hit. That's a guy, he got the body wash on him.
Starting point is 00:08:43 That's that body wash man right there That's that man, that's that fella right there. That's for sure. And that is Victor Lundberg featuring Ed Mills right there. Yeah. Happy to be here with you. Fresh off of the Super Bowl. Hope everybody enjoyed seeing that. I, yeah, I watched it. I was cheering for the 49ers, you know, I just, I just wanted them to win. I felt like they were supposed to win last year, at least get there. Um, I was kind of getting tired of the whole Taylor Swift, just the bowl, or just the, just it was, it was too much. Like, geez, what did we do? It's just, it was too much.
Starting point is 00:09:49 And then the game felt so much more like, like it just stopped the game so much for commercials it felt like. Like the commercials was the game at some point. And then the game was the commercial, like, yeah. So that was, yeah, I just wanted him to win. I kind of always won whoever's like, people don't think is gonna win to win.
Starting point is 00:10:17 I think 95 times out of 98 times, that's what I want. I like the underdog. It's just, it's the fight's the that you know because if the underdog wins it makes you believe in possibility more and I think I like that. I think there's something about that that I like and but oh it's been a while man I know it's been a while since I had a solo episode and uh yeah let's crack into it what's going on it's just I guess it's a time to maybe think about love
Starting point is 00:10:59 you know it's a time to think about love and love in somebody. I'm trying to think of the first time I was in love. Well, I remember, I think it was probably like the, I remember seeing this girl, I was like I don't know where I was I was traveling I was on a little vacation with my buddy and he lives across the street and he would like he kind of I think was supposed to be twins but they never formed or whatever because he would say something he would be like how how are you today and then under his breath he would be like, how are you today? And then under his breath, he'd be like, yeah, how are you today?
Starting point is 00:11:51 And you'd be like, huh. Almost as if there was, it'd be like, hey, what do you feel like doing? And then he'd be like, yeah, what do you feel like doing? Yeah. And it was almost like there was like a twin inside of him that never developed but was still like down in there like yelling shit out of him But anyway, oh, yeah, but his family there was a beautiful family and
Starting point is 00:12:15 His dad would let us rake leaves at their house sometimes and And that was all just something fun to do in the area, but uh Um, and that was just something fun to do in the area. But, uh, but they would took me one time camping or something or just drove me off into the woods to like look at a look at something or something for a few hours. And there was, uh, there was a girl by this, by this river, by this stream, and she was getting some water out of the stream or something, like crouched down, getting some water. And it had like a very kind of Native American kind of vibe to it. I think, I think maybe she had a ponytail in her or something.
Starting point is 00:12:57 I just remember seeing her and I remember being like, Oh my God, what is going on? I just like my whole like chest and throat and like the whole front of me felt like a mat, like a magnet started up in it, like a magnetic field started up into it. And it like made me think, oh my God, what a, I want to, I want to just stand close to her, but also be a far from her. It was kind of just like a magnet. We take two magnets that are the same, you know, and you put it and they don't, they kind of push each, but it was this, it was that same energy kind of it was like, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:13:48 It was the first time that this force field ever occurred inside of me. And, um, yeah. And that was a time that I had first felt some love. I remember. And then what else? Oh, I had a lady that drove us to, um, and, oh, and had a lady that drove us to um And oh and happy February too if anybody celebrates months or whatever But yeah, I had a lady that drove us
Starting point is 00:14:18 to oh she drove us to summer camp and She was like a babysitter or something. I don't remember her name. I wish I did. God, I just wish I knew even just four or three of the letters of her name. So I could just lay on my back and just fucking think about her. But I was, I think maybe 10 or nine.
Starting point is 00:14:41 Yeah, she drove it and I felt so cool. I just, it was the first time I'd ever ridden somewhere with a woman or with a girl. So I think it really stood out in my head, you know, and we got in the car and I remember closing the door and be like, Oh my God, it's just me and her in this car. And I just fucking wanted to take my own eyes out of my face and just hide them into my butt, man. I just, I was just having, it was just, that's, you know, that was it.
Starting point is 00:15:16 And yeah, I was just that nervous or whatever that I just, yeah, I wanted to take both of my eyes, literally take my eyes out of my face and put them into my butt or put them into like a little bag or something. Because seeing the fact that I was taking in that she and I were in the same place and she was gonna start driving,
Starting point is 00:15:39 once she started driving, I'm like, we're going somewhere, what could happen? Are we married you know like it was just so much energy oh and before we took off she reached over and put my seatbelt on and my god I mean whatever eyeballs I had in my butt just came right out at that moment they just right out at that moment. They just, I mean, my eyes were just falling out of my ass. I just, uh, yeah, it was just, God, I was just, because just the fact she reached over and put it and clicked it in and, um, cause she had to lean over and I think she had a necklace on. It was just like the first woman I'd been like that close around.
Starting point is 00:16:25 And so, and she drove us to summer camp. She drove, she was the counselor and she drove us over there. I think my mom had set it up because my mom was going to work and so she set it up where one of the counselors picked us up. And God, I just remember thinking,
Starting point is 00:16:43 I hope that God lets us get married or whatever. And then, um, she played Bon Jovi in the car. Let's sing a song for the broken hearted. Oh, leave it on a oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh shit was, whatever children shit, I'd never listened to like a woman play a song like that. And yeah, those are, so those were some of those early times of love. Those were some of those early times of love. And yeah, it's just anyway, it's already good on that memory road, but I just, God, I just, it's just so interesting how it's not there in your world.
Starting point is 00:17:47 And then it starts to show up that there's this power that the opposite sex has, you know, that there's this intrigue and that there's this innate just damn God, just, you know. And now if somebody's in love, you almost people say they have autism or whatever. You know, it's like there's new shows out now where it's like, hey, these people are in love.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Look how autistic they are. It's like, what? It's like they're trying to convince us that if you were in love, you are almost mentally handicapped. Isn't that crazy? Or emotionally handicapped. Isn't that crazy? Or emotionally handicapped. No offense to anybody. If anybody has autism either.
Starting point is 00:18:30 So, you know, I've been there. A lot of us have been there. You know what I'm saying? Hey, we want autism. Hey, we want autism. Yeah, so those are some early times that I felt love and lust and then I remember We got invited to a trailer one time and Somebody some girl just let me feel on the outside of her pants for probably
Starting point is 00:19:01 70 minutes We were waiting for pizza and the pizza guy got into a car accident, I guess. And the pizza was supposed to come sooner and I think, but it didn't. And so she just kept letting me feel on her pants. I mean, I just knew everything about those pants at some point. And, you know, I hate to, I think that pizza guy was like in a really bad accident. He may have ended up in heaven even. But I want to say thank you to him. Thank you to him. And, uh, yeah, because I definitely remember those, those jeans, those baby girl jeans she had on. And that's, and that's just
Starting point is 00:19:57 such a time in somebody's life when they touch somebody, when you first touch somebody when you first touch somebody you know and and you know we take calls for that sometimes if you've ever if you ever had an experience in life where you touched somebody touch your body or you touch somebody else's body of it could be same-sex or opposite sex gaze or straights and if you did it and you want to you just remember it or how strange it was. I remember a lady called in a few years ago who had gotten somebody touched her cooter in a empty refrigerator box.
Starting point is 00:20:39 And that was just fascinating to everyone. And so yeah, if you have had a unique experience of having your body touch somewhere for the first time, it was that first time that it ever happened. You know, I know, you know, we've all been there. I remember a gal ejected me off and knew a stream near her home. And it was just, you know, at the same time, I was just blasting out into this stream and all my.
Starting point is 00:21:15 But my semen was just going off to war, you know, just like it felt like it was in the Navy or whatever, just went off into the, you know, out into the water. Um. But yeah,, out into the water. Um, but yeah, love is in the air and we got a love fella in the house today, Riley, Mal, how are you brother? When I started podcasting, I, um, I didn't think I'd ever have an online store. You know, I just, it wasn't part of it.
Starting point is 00:21:43 And, and now we're, we're, we And now we're selling, be good to yourself, hoodies on there and different items that people love. And it's all because of Shopify. That's right. It's so easy with Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. And that's been the best thing is as things have scaled or adjusted if they've gone up or down.
Starting point is 00:22:13 It's been easy with Shopify. Sign up for a $1 stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Theo. And we got a love fella in the house today, Riley Mao. How are you brother? Doing well. Have you blasted that corn stalk yet? You popped that corn stalk or what's going on with your daddy? How's the, how's your love life, Bubba? Get it?
Starting point is 00:22:43 I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Ah, doing well. Have you blasted that corn stalk yet? You popped that corn stalk? Or what's going on with your daddy? How's your love life, Bubba? Get us the latest, man. You linked up? Well, I almost had something happen yesterday.
Starting point is 00:22:58 No. Yep, I was doing Super Bowl. A friend of mine invited me. And actually, I shouldn Bowl. A friend of mine invited me and Actually, I shouldn't say a friend of mine just someone I knew okay and Stranger go on and we were hanging out and everything was great and This this other guy shows up No, so you met you met up with the girl. Yeah, and everything was great? Yep. And you're what, watching the Super Bowl? Yep.
Starting point is 00:23:26 Wow. And are you like, is it a, are you at a busy place? Is it just you two somewhere? Were you watching it on a phone? Are you listening to it on a stereo? What are you doing? No, yeah, we were just at a bar. Okay, you're at a bar?
Starting point is 00:23:41 And um. And a dude showed up? Yeah. No. Yeah, I saw him and a dude showed up. Yeah. No. Yeah. I saw him and I knew something was going to happen. And what was he wearing?
Starting point is 00:23:53 Was he dressed pretty well? Um, he just had slacks on and nice jacket. Fuck him. I mean, that's, did he know that you were there with her? Yeah. Oh, so he rode in, right? And, um, okay. So he shows up now.
Starting point is 00:24:09 What do you do? Are you posturing a little or what happened? Are you? Um, I'm just chilling. You know, I'm sitting next to her and everything's going great. Um, and I get up to use the bathroom. Hmm. And once I get back, he's normal, dude, gonna make toilet. That's normal. Go
Starting point is 00:24:26 on. And he's in my seat next to her. What the f a white guy? No. Wow. Wow. A mixed guy. Now a mixed guy? Yeah, more darker. Okay. So he slid in, huh? Yep. No, and then what do you do? Do you just kind of like loiter in the distance,
Starting point is 00:24:54 kind of angrily a little? Yeah. Yeah, I've done that. God, I've done that. Some guy shows up and then I'm like, ugh, I don't stand a fucking guy shows up and then I'm like, ugh. I don't stand a fucking chance. Let me just go hide my head inside of my fucking Honda Civic.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Let me just go back. Let me just slam my head in the car door of my Honda Civic. That's how much I'm worth. Did your feelings get hurt or do you still feel like you were in the game? They were hurt a little, but I thought I still had some game. And what, so what happened then? So then he went up to buy a shot, so I took my seat back. No!
Starting point is 00:25:38 Yeah. Oh my God, bro! Bro, come at me, bro, with that fucking karate game boy Come at me with that fucking kimchi bro You're sliding in with that fucking Korean ninja chop and then what happened and then So he came back from getting shots for who him and her yeah, and you were in his seat. Yeah for who, him and her? Yeah. And you were in his seat?
Starting point is 00:26:03 Yeah. Let's go. That's what I'm talking about. And then what happened? And then he left. Okay. He went to a different bar. It was just me and her.
Starting point is 00:26:20 Nice. And I invited her to a different bar that I was gonna go to. Okay. And hurry it up, man. What's what else happened? And and she basically just said, no, I'm going to go to this bar with, you know, with the other guy. No. Yeah. Oh, man.
Starting point is 00:26:40 God, bro. I'm sorry, man. Do you think it's over? Probably Fuck it's okay, bro. You know, it's it happens to everybody Damn so have you have you has that been the only like has been the closest thing that's happening like for love since we talked to you last No, I did have my second kiss. No way. Come on.
Starting point is 00:27:10 Damn, let me think about my first kiss. Part of something I can't remember went like, there was a couple little kisses I remember. Well, one girl lady at summer camp too, also let all the boys look down her shirt. And God, I just fucking, I remember saying I didn't see anything and they, and, and they let me look one more time, I guess, or whatever. But, because I think I looked to the first time and I was so just overwrought with the
Starting point is 00:27:43 possibility of seeing some girl girls chest that I literally couldn't fucking see, you know, who are those people that can't see in the Bible, Raleigh? We'll just look it up. Okay. All right. Um, yeah, I just remembered that and we were fucking looking and by the end of her shirt collar was damn It was a that thing had we put 20 inches on her on her shirt collar I mean it was everybody was just trying to look at them and they just I can't remember if they were huge or even non-existent
Starting point is 00:28:19 She could have been a man in a wig We were just so and that was, I think, at like 12, maybe. When you were just starting to fucking. You're so horned out. You're so horned out. You know, I had a neighbor if he saw his dog humping something outside, he'd have to go jerk himself. You know, you're like, well, that's.
Starting point is 00:28:50 That seems to be a problem I feel like, cause. Um, Paul and Ezekiel, Paul and Ezekiel God. Wow. Chris Paul. No, who is it? Which is a guy's full name? Just Paul. Oh, just Paul. Just Paul and Ezekiel, and they were blind, huh?
Starting point is 00:29:17 Yeah. From what? It's just that two years before his death, Ezekiel became blind. Yep. And then Paul experienced temporary blindness. Oh, that's two years before his death. Ezekiel became blind. Yep. And then Paul experienced temporary blindness. Oh, that's probably from pleasure in himself. That's one of the big issues is back then, it wasn't there a rule like the, there was a fear if you masturbated at times that they, you would go blind.
Starting point is 00:29:39 You would literally jerk your sight right out of your, like you were spraying your sight right out of your like you were spraying your sight right out of your wiener. I remember that. I remember people coming around the area and at school they had fan flits or whatever saying do not jerk off, do not masturbate or they'd have a guy touching like a reaching for a hot dog. They always had to use these euphemisms or whatever so they'd have a guy like reaching for a hot dog or like Shifting the gear shift in his car and it would be like don't do it or this and then it would be like a picture of a Just a black a guy falling into a ditch or something with a walking stick or a somebody getting hit by like a blind guy,
Starting point is 00:30:32 like getting hit by something or whatever. But anyway, damn Riley, well, you're still out there. So you've had two kisses though. Yeah. All right, we'll check back in a little bit and find out about the other one. Cause I don't know, did you ever tell us about the other one? I did not. Okay. We're gonna check back in with you in a little bit and find out about the other one because I don't know. Did you ever tell us about the other one? I did not okay, we're gonna check back in with you in a little bit and find out about that man I want to get to some calls here and Yeah, I just want to see what's going on. I know it's been a while since the solo episode just got off of the road. Oh
Starting point is 00:31:00 Yeah, I think just I don't know I feel all over the place a little bit, but that's how I feel sometimes these days. You know, and maybe that's how we all feel. I don't know. What else? Uh, let's look at the news here that came in right now. We got a Biden dropped an unhinged tweet immediately after the Super Bowl So that's interesting Just like we drew it up he said and it's a picture of him With alien type of eyes
Starting point is 00:31:37 This guy Biden's lost it Biden has lost it. I believe and we talked about this months ago That is you shouldn't have no senior citizen out there pretending to be a safe president. At a certain point, everybody's mind goes on. Sometimes your mind goes to heaven before you do. People, you see people wandering around their minds, been in heaven, their minds smoking weed in heaven or dry
Starting point is 00:32:06 You know drinking in heaven maybe dating even dating women or men in heaven if you have a gay brain or whatever And they're still down here on earth wandering around eating Jello bothering people yelling the n-word sometimes some of them. And, uh, you know, that's, and I think that's where we're getting with Biden. It's getting to the point with Biden where he's basically a scarecrow that has a popular job. They're keeping him away from microphones.
Starting point is 00:32:43 He is extremely close to dropping The n-word There's you know, there's no and I'm going pro. Ah, he's oddly hip and some of his slang sometimes so I would go probably a I don't think he's going hard Are I don't know how bad he is mentally but every old person I feel like before they completely lose their mind yells the n-word and I don't know if that's true but I've seen a lot of that or they say it or they write you know they, they are doing that. But so anyway, I'm just curious to see, at least the, I think what we gotta do is
Starting point is 00:33:31 we need to get, obviously Biden hasn't huffed a child in a while. We need to get some seven year old, some 11 year old, some 14 year old girls that he can huff their hair, just give them a couple of fucking hits to make it to November. Because what the guy is falling apart. He's falling apart.
Starting point is 00:33:54 He's very close to yelling the N word at someone. And I just the only way you got to get get him what he needs. You got to get him what he needs. You gotta get him what he needs. And what he wants is obviously to sniff children. To sniff a children. Let him sniff a children if it's going to get him through the end of his job. So he can retire or whatever they're gonna do, sell his body for glue, I'm not sure.
Starting point is 00:34:32 But you can't pretend that the guy is doing well. You just can't, he's, he's guys out of his mind. He did call Netanyahu a bitch or something the other day. And that I thought was pretty cool. What else do we have here? Any other news? Shane Gillis is going to host SNL. Unbelievable. Wow. Part of me wonders if at the last minute he's going to be like, hey, sorry guys, it's just not for me. You know, kind of like they did to him, you know, it'll be interesting. But good for him, man.
Starting point is 00:35:26 Congrats to Shane. That guy. He is so funny. He is so funny, man. I just, God, I just think he's so funny. What else? Tucker Carlson interviewed Vladimir Putin. Watch that. Really interesting. Really interesting.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Aww. You know, it's almost crazy. And I'm just saying this, I'm not sure of this. It's almost crazy that it feels like we're almost trying to see if we can get any real information about our own country from Vladimir Putin. That's why. Like did anybody else have a moment where they're like, huh? Maybe. Because I believe our media is just extremely compromised. I just believe that that I believe that it's a big
Starting point is 00:36:28 It's all bullshit. I really a lot of me believes that I could be wrong I'm not saying I'm definite, but a lot of me believes that that it's all We've just been It's Yeah, it just doesn't you know, that's what I a lot of me thinks that um except you have independent journalists you got independent people trying to get out there and make things happen you know um so yeah that's just what I thought that was interesting like
Starting point is 00:37:01 But I thought that was interesting. Like, it's like I'm listening almost to see if I can get any real information. Cause yeah, I think Russia is just an old dude. Russia is an old guy who's set in his ways, who just wants to sit over there and drink oil and look at tits or booty and just ride off into the sunset. I don't believe that they're like a superpower or nothing.
Starting point is 00:37:36 You know, it's just a lot of rusty tanks. It's a lot of children playing with heavy stone dolls. Dolls made out of stone. You'll see an 18 month old with like an 11 pound doll and they're carrying it You know resilient folks Anyway, that's about the news I think Yeah, we just went to the Warner theater in eerie PA and I gotta recommend it If you ever get a chance to go to the Warner Theater, it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in America. It's a piece of
Starting point is 00:38:16 history. It's, I think the renovation is a $30 million in May 2020 Phase 4 begin. renovation Is a 30 million dollar in May 2020 phase 4 begin it costs 30 million dollars To renovate that theater It but it's I can't even tell you how unbelievable it is how immaculate it is You know, so yeah, that's one thing you got to check out the Warner Theater. What else? Oh, we had blackface at Sephora, somebody. This looks like a couple of girls doing blackface. Of course, well of all look at least girls are doing it now because for a while it was just guys taking all the L's doing it You know, I believe in three generations were all just gonna have beige semi-Chinese face
Starting point is 00:39:19 That's probably owned by Israel, but I believe that's the face we're gonna have owned by Israel, but I believe that's the face we're gonna have. What else? Jeff Bezos will save over $600 million in taxes by moving to Miami. That seems fair. But that's Florida. Everybody can move to Florida and that's fair. You know, those are the rules. I just don't think somebody should be able to have that much money. I think they should put a cap on how much money an individual can have. You know, and maybe that's socialist by me or something. I don't know, but I just, I don't know. That's something that I think sometimes.
Starting point is 00:39:57 I'm not saying I'm right, but it's something I think about. Oh, I just drank some of this this morning. I got back from the gym and I knew I was gonna have to work, you know, be doing potting for a few hours or five hours. And I was like, I wanna make sure that I get hydrated. And so I threw down some liquid IV. That's what does it. One stick of liquid IV plus 16 ounces of water hydrates better
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Starting point is 00:41:03 and use code Theo at checkout That's 20% off your first order when you shop superior hydration today using promo code Theo at liquid IV Com So let's yeah, let's take a few calls here about love that came in today Here we go deal bond in today. Here we go. Bill Vaughn. So I had a weird situation tonight. I wouldn't, on a day with my Uber driver, and she brought her daughter and her friend, her daughter's friend, to IHOP. Well well she had a call Yeah, she had to go so it was just me her daughter and her daughter's friend
Starting point is 00:41:50 So I did like separate it and her pain them what? So you went on a date and then the girl the lady left and Then you're just sitting there with two children at a And then you're just sitting there with two children at a IHA, if you're sitting with two children, you don't know at an IHA, bro, you are, you could be a sex trafficker, bro. You know, no shade or anything, but it's like, I mean, yes, you know, but if you're, you know, like, yeah, that is, that is not, that is that is not that is Let me hear more like
Starting point is 00:42:36 Interpain them and I'm I was drunk at the time so I was like shit. What am I supposed to do these little Teenage girls. I was like shit So I started just Trying to tell dad jokes and they just uttered a laugh. So it was like, Well, you can't tell dad jokes if you're, you're not even a dad. You're a drunk guy at an IHOP with a stranger's children, bro. You are lucky you weren't arrested. That's what I'll tell you. you got like
Starting point is 00:43:07 You know, you're drunk at an IHOP with some children, you don't know So that's where you're at right now that is a starting point, okay, that is that is a place to go up from I Think you know, maybe I'm being too judgmental, but you, I think you have to have a, you should chart out a plan for yourself. And it should be, and you need to have friends help you. Because yeah, if you're sitting drunk at this close to ending up on a registry. Okay. So yeah, I would do that. Um, let me hear more.
Starting point is 00:43:55 What is the guy supposed to do in that situation? I wish there was a good ending to that story, but it was just kind of an awkward situation. Like, what would you do? Well, I think it's, you know, look, I appreciate the call, man. And I'm sorry if I'm being a little, if I'm being crass to you, you know, it's a loving, it's a day of for love. And so I got to remember that. Um, yeah, let me just be loving.
Starting point is 00:44:21 Hey, man, yeah, I think, look, unfortunately, Maybe that's just where we are in modern dating, you know That a woman is gonna be like yes meet me at an I hop Watch my children and if you feed them then maybe I will Make love to you one day You know, maybe we could be together if you like maybe that's how it is maybe the world maybe we There's so many pervs out. It's just That a woman's like hey here Meet me and my kids in a safe place. I'm gonna leave. She probably is also a new driver
Starting point is 00:45:00 You know, it's a very gig economy now. Maybe she got a call. She had to go get a fair. She got a fair. And she's like, you know, and if, hey, he didn't, he didn't touch me, fed him great guy. Nowadays to a lot of women, that's a great guy. So I don't know if you need to do anything, brother. I think you did the best thing you could do. You were an earnest man. You tried to be entertaining you were drunk You know and that's your deal and it's okay. So yeah, I think you're doing great man
Starting point is 00:45:34 And yeah, happy Valentine's Day to you. I want to say that man And maybe this will work out you guys might be married by now, you know, you just never know You know, and that's one thing about love too. Love goes at its own speed. I think we're so used to now things being so fast because you can get it right now. You can get it right now. You can get a pair of shoes. They might be here by this afternoon.
Starting point is 00:46:09 In the old days, you had to go get your feet measured somewhere, come back maybe two months later and get some shoes. But love is still like that. It's an old shoe, man. And we want it to fit fast. And it's good. You want it to be a cozy fit. You know, because sometimes it's like, do I want to be, am I trying to be in love or am I just trying to not be alone? That's another thing I think sometimes. You know, like, what
Starting point is 00:46:40 am I really looking for? That's something I think about sometimes But yeah Thank you for calling man and And thank you for going I hop instead of Denny's baby Denny's you know that son Fuck Denny's till it's backwards homie What else? Here we go, another call came in here about love. Hi Theo, I am a female listener
Starting point is 00:47:15 and I was just listening to your podcast. The question came to approach your lady about how to shave her hairy booty and as a hairy booty female myself. Okay. My boyfriend. HBF's in the building. My boyfriend actually approached this topic with some great sensitivity and I just wanted
Starting point is 00:47:42 to let you guys know that if you're really have a very good offer to shave it for her i thought that was very charming of him he came up to me one day he was like a big uh... let me groom you like let me let me get you right and i would like well that that was a romantic and yeah i
Starting point is 00:48:02 but it open he shaved me down and we got it on. So that's the female perspective. Praise God. Thank you for that. All that calling. Yeah, because it is it's something that occurs out there. You see a man, they got a woman and they got a hair on their booty around that booty.
Starting point is 00:48:24 And that's something we got a battle as a society. And this is a, this is from the front lines of that. And it's that time of year, spring. If you're a lady, she got that hairy booty. Yeah. Feel me. If that be holds, got a sideburn on it, baby, taper that thing up. Get in there with some safe, some safe scissors, some of them, but them children's snippers and get in there. Tidy that thing up. If that booty all got a little dreadlock on it or whatever,
Starting point is 00:48:55 tidy grim, grim that thing up. You could do it. Yeah. Wax you, put a spill of candle on her and rip that thing. You know, it's time, baby. It's time to just take the hair off of each other's assholes. It's just that time, you know? It's just that time in Happy Valentine's, baby.
Starting point is 00:49:17 That's what it is. What else if we got another call here? You shave your body, Riley? I do. All right. And what do you shave? The front, what do you shave? Just my face.
Starting point is 00:49:34 Oh, just your face, okay. Just your face. But you don't seem like a guy that has a lot of hair, a body hair, Riley. No, I don't. Wow, and do you guys do a lot of do a lot of Vietnamese people get body hair or not? I don't think so. Okay but but do you know so? At least for me I don't. You don't? Wow for me. I I don't you don't
Starting point is 00:50:06 Wow, that's got to be wonderful. So you don't get any body hair. So you're like almost like a hairless cat in a way Right. Wow But do you get cold you have to wear like double underpants or whatever? No Unbelievable. Wow. Thank you, man, for sharing that with us. Let's see what else we got here. Theo, what's up, man? I've got a little bit of a confession for you. Thank you for calling the hotline, man. And yeah, I do want to let people know that if there is something they need to share, they can always hit the hotline. 985-664-9503.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Um, wait, heavy on me. Something happened to me when I was a kid. I should share it with somebody. When I was 11 years old, I was watching a movie with one of my buddies. I think he was 12. We were laying on my sister's bed, that might have been the start of the problem. Yeah, that's the setting they call that, the setting for something on word. Watching Liar Liar and if you've seen the movie, there's a moment where they're playing back some audio of a woman doing a little orgasmic noises and oh yeah gizin out during that moment my buddy leaned over and kissed me right on the lips and I pushed him off and said what are you doing he says now please stop I don't I don't know. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Starting point is 00:51:45 I don't know. I don't know. I'm so sorry. And he begged me not to tell his brothers and I have four brothers myself and I didn't want them to think I was gay. So never, never really told anybody. So.
Starting point is 00:51:59 And look, man, that's a totally normal thing to happen. You know, I appreciate you sharing it with us. I think that's a lot of times referred to as like surprise, kind of youthful gay. S-Y-G and they call it. And it happens. You're with your buddy and something sexual is happening in a film or movie in your body. I remember when the, when a commercial would come on and if a woman was just even damn putting a shampoo in, I just would sit in front of the TV and just,
Starting point is 00:52:37 I couldn't even, it was like my hormones just came up into my shoulders and just were fucking just trying to fucking dance or whatever. I just, I couldn't handle it. So yeah, if you're in there alone with your buddy and there's a man making orgasm noises on a television near the two of you, yeah. Somebody's gonna kiss someone. That is natural. Because surprise youth youthful gay anger
Starting point is 00:53:08 It's happens kids. They don't know and they just they don't know what their hormones aren't some of them they test it out and The only way to know it's like the only way to know if you like soccer is to play a couple games of soccer man The only way to know if you could be gay is to kiss somebody that is the same sex as you, or holding somebody's hand could be a clue. But yeah, kids do that stuff all the time. I remember I got under a sheet or whatever, it was supposed to be lunchtime or whatever, and my buddy and I somehow were like,
Starting point is 00:53:43 just under a sheet, and we just started like touching each other's ribs, like just feeling it just like, God, and I don't remember, I just don't even know what was going on. We just, we're just doing it. And then thank God, somebody yelled sandwiches downstairs and we fucking ran out of there. And then thank God somebody yelled sandwiches downstairs and we fucking ran out of there. But yeah, I think children are part-time gay
Starting point is 00:54:14 kind of because they're learning about sex and they're learning about that sort of thing. You know, and I couldn't even look at my buddy while we ate those. Ham and cheese is. We couldn't even look at each other. Because we just didn't know. And it was that was the time era, the era where if you asked your dad,
Starting point is 00:54:38 if you were gay, he would just say you were. Just crazy. So. Raleigh ever happened any, well, yeah, Raleigh, let's check back in there. What were you telling me about? So a little bit ago, I had my second kiss finally. Okay. And this is your second kiss ever in your life, right, brother? Right. And you still never, uh, you you still never You've still never burped that That sweat whistle have your daddy. I have not
Starting point is 00:55:10 brother My god, you are gonna just be able to just them open up an aquarium when you really let them things open up God brother. I Mean you but how much do you weigh? 120. Well, I don't know if I believe that, but you sell at least 17 of that has got to be pure grade A. Maple semen, baby. My God, I can't even believe that.
Starting point is 00:55:43 I could fucking rent you out to a couple of Hollywood executives right now and they would fucking burp that little diving board in the back of a limousine somewhere right now outside of Disney or one of those other places, MGM or whatever, Mira Max or whatever they're doing Okay, what else what oh so you went on a date?
Starting point is 00:56:13 And tell me about it. You got that second kiss, huh? Yeah Basically, I just went to a bar with her Okay, and then and where'd y'all? It was like a cross from each other, next to each other at the bar, where'd you guys sit? Not next to each other, at a table. At a table, okay. And was there some good energy?
Starting point is 00:56:33 What happened? Yeah, yeah, we were laughing a lot. That's good sign. And then what happened? Did you, you guys left there? You took her home? You guys left some? What happened? Yeah, so we left there you took her home you guys left some what happened?
Starting point is 00:56:45 Yeah, so we left I took her home, okay? And as we were saying bye, I asked her if I could kiss her And how did you ask so were you guys standing at the door? No, just on her driveway standing in the driveway and What did you say I? Said hey, I've been wanting to ask you this you know can I kiss you? Yeah, brother that's what I'm talking about fucking Asians getting that shit and And what did she say?
Starting point is 00:57:21 She said sure and then we just went in And was she a little taller than you or not a little yeah, so did you have to go up on just a Little on the toes actually she kind of came down to me Fuck yes on feminism Wow Wow. And then what happened where you, did you like put your hand like kind of like, or did you just totally freestyle it hands on the side? Just that fucking weird penguin vibe. Would you do?
Starting point is 00:57:57 I think I rubbed my arms around her, but that was it. Oh my God. That's romantic. Wow. And did you play any music on your phone or were you guys just, it was quiet? No, it was it. Oh my god that's romantic. Wow and did you play any music on your phone or were you guys just it was quiet? No it was quiet. And how long did the kiss last for? Probably for a good 12 seconds. Mm-hmm
Starting point is 00:58:28 And did you um and did you uh was there any Tongue in it or what was it just lips was it like upper lip bot. What was there? What was your strategy? um, yeah, there's a little tongue rightly Shit, and with that fucking mouth cock baby that Way to go, brother. And was she receptive to it? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. Chill. Everything's good. Nothing illegal.
Starting point is 00:58:55 And then what happened? You left? I left, and then she went back to New Jersey. Oh, God. I will say this. Some of the coolest girls I've ever met are from Philadelphia, New Jersey area Hands down just cool chicks great sense of humor Fun cool sometimes their nurses and stuff like that just great shit. They have a lot of great I Cool sometimes there are nurses and stuff like that just great shit. They have a lot of great I mean, I love I'm a big fan of nurses
Starting point is 00:59:29 But also I think just some of the coolest chicks are up there. Everybody knows that you know, I'm a big fan nurses, but Yeah, and my sister's a nurse too, so I'm proud of her. She just got her I Don't know what it's called like like her G.D. or whatever. She's like the final nurse or whatever or something. But I don't know. But, uh, man, well, so you got two kisses under your belt and you're still saving yourself from marriage, Riley. Correct. Wow. God, you got a.
Starting point is 01:00:03 Do you feel like it's right around the corner? you feel like you still have a long way to go It might be a might be a minute I Like your attitude though man, and we have to have a good attitude right to find love for cuz it's it just it can Just show up whenever right yeah You got to stay ready Let's take one or two more calls man. This was an interesting call that came in Hey, hey Pat Ray so from Las Vegas. Hey Pat from Las Vegas. Thank you for calling Me lady nice to hear you onward
Starting point is 01:00:38 Going to a comedy show tonight for my birthday I will be wearing my feel shirt to represent my love for you. I feel I know you, so we've never met. I'm turning 81 on the 25th. Might not be your oldest fan, but I'm the biggest. Love you. Oh, thank you. You know, I appreciate that.
Starting point is 01:01:02 You know, even when you say it, it reminds me of my grandmother, thank you, Pat. That's very sweet of you. Let me make sure your name was Pat. Sometimes I just assume a lot of older women are named Pat. Hey, Theo. Pat, right? So from last...
Starting point is 01:01:14 Yeah, that's Pat. Thank you, Pat. Thank you, Pat. That's so sweet of you. And yeah, dang, I feel like I just got a call from my grandmother, you know, and, and, and I just mean that in a way of like that somebody can call you. That's not that person to you and they can be that person for you. You know, you can fill in the blanks for somebody, you know, if somebody doesn't have
Starting point is 01:01:44 a brother, you can call them and share a special word with them or give them a nice message or just tell them you care about them. And suddenly they do have a brother, you know. You know, there's been a lot of figures in my life of people that have represented father figures and mother figures and brother figures and at certain moments.
Starting point is 01:02:08 And so it's just, that's the power of just that of love right there. That's a loving thing to do. Yeah. Thank you, Pat. That's the sweet of you. Praise. Um, what else? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:02:23 How does, yeah, I just want to keep it in the love vein. Here we got a call right here. Hi, I see you. My name is Autumn. I was just wondering if you've ever felt like alone, being older, but I'm almost 30 a couple weeks. Oh, you're not that old, Autumn? That don't sound that old to me at all.
Starting point is 01:02:46 Let's hear more. And, you know, I have a tough time trying to find love. And I was wondering if you've ever felt like that. I'm just sitting here in my apartment, just thinking how, you know, maybe I'll never find it. And if that's the case, what are your opinions on that? You know, I wanna find true love, I wanna find happiness, and I wanna have kids.
Starting point is 01:03:15 Yeah, thank you for the call. Yeah, find and love, you know, thank you for the call. Thank you for just sharing how you're feeling and what's going on. I think it's sweet of you and I appreciate it. And I think just showing up right where you just you're called with exactly where you're at. No be at no just hey this is where I am. This is what's going on. You know, and I just really respect that. Um, yeah, I think love gets, I think love is something that we all need. You know, you see what happens to a child that doesn't have any love, you know, you
Starting point is 01:04:02 see what happens to animals that don't have any love and you know, it's obvious. It's obvious that we need it. And it's nice to think of that, yeah, how do I fall in love with somebody else? How do I get into a relationship with somebody and have a partner? And yeah, so much of that is out of our hands. You know, I mean, some things like you want to give yourself the best chance, you know, I think, because you have to meet people chance, you know, I think, because you have to meet people and, uh, so you have to put yourself out there. You do. You know, uh, I mean, it could, you could just meet somebody at a grocery store or something, but sometimes people meet each other.
Starting point is 01:04:53 The more people you run into, the more chances you're going to have to meet someone. So that just is part of it. And then in the meantime, I think enjoy the peace that you do have with yourself and start to fall in love with yourself more if you can. I know that may sound strange and I'm not trying to, I'm sometimes that I don't have the best relationship with myself, really. I don't really communicate with myself that much. I do some, but really communicate with myself, check in with myself, see what's going on.
Starting point is 01:05:41 Spend time with myself, not just sitting on my phone or watching a television show, but sit there and spend time with myself. Think about, hey man, who are you? What do you like doing? You know, hey man, I'm proud of you. Saying that to myself. You know, hey Theo, I'm proud of you man. I'm proud of you. You know, I've gotten better about it as I've gotten older, but man for so long I didn't, I didn't even
Starting point is 01:06:14 love myself. So then in my life I was looking for someone else to do. I was looking for someone else to do the job for me that I wasn't doing for me. And it was, that's too much to ask of somebody. I'm not saying this for you at all. I'm sorry. I just got on this tangent, but yeah, I was looking for somebody else. Yeah. I want to be a partner, but I also want you to, I need you to fulfill, fill in this other space inside of myself that I'm leaving, that I'm not working on.
Starting point is 01:06:51 And so then at that point for me in relationships, it wasn't that fair. You know, I was, I wasn't saying, Hey, let's meet and do 50, 50. I was saying, Hey, I need you to, I need you to do 50, 50. I need you to do 80, 50. I need you to do 80, because I'm missing 30. And I haven't tried to do the work and stuff that I need to do to take care of myself better. And that was always making it tough for me. It's gotten a little bit better as I've gotten older, because I'm understanding that a little bit more.
Starting point is 01:07:21 That I, well, do I love myself? Who am I? You know, what's going on with me? But do I think you will, you sound like the sweetest person. And I believe that love wins. I believe that people say it sometimes and there's like commercials and stuff with like people will be in like a wheelchair or something and they'll say it, but that doesn't have anything to do with it.
Starting point is 01:07:44 I don't think. But I believe that it wins. Because it's just the realest thing. You can see it, man. It's the realest thing. When you see somebody love somebody else. It could be between any connection, father, son, mother, child, brothers, sisters. The uncle parking guy can get a little bit weird if he's milling around, but if they, you know,
Starting point is 01:08:21 somebody just be proud of something. When you see love it just There there's nothing Nothing can hold a candle to that. That's the light of God. I think that's the light of God And you sounds like you you you use something you care about. So, I just want you to hang in there. You know, and, yeah, I just want you to hang in there.
Starting point is 01:09:02 Cause yes, I believe it can happen. We gotta believe it can happen. That's gotta be the most possible. That's believe it can happen. That's gotta be the most possible. That's gotta be the belief. That's gotta be it. Cause a flower be sitting there in a damn bee, come on. And you don't know that thing, you know? A flower don't have a clue of bees coming. A flower is just doing this shit, you know?
Starting point is 01:09:24 Stuntin' like my daddy, stamin' like my daddy And then a bee, so you just, you never know When you gonna get buzzed out and honeyed up And you got time You got time and then I gotta make sure that when I'm looking for somebody I'm not looking for them to fill I'm looking to meet them halfway I'm looking for us to be puzzle pieces or whatever, but you know that sounds a little bit gee to me But but I'm not looking for them to do do all the work of filling in all my blanks
Starting point is 01:09:56 You know some of that's my work And I'm not saying that about you. I'm just you caught me and I'm thinking about the same thing at the same time You I'm just you caught me and I'm thinking about the same thing at the same time Riley what do you think for that young lady thinking about love? I mean, yeah, she'll she'll find everyone you know finds love eventually Yeah, I think that's true Yeah, I Think that's I think that's true. Yeah, I Think that's I think that's true, man
Starting point is 01:10:32 And it'll happen for you, dude You know you've been seeping that demon in the meantime or what you've been freaking how hand railing that little That little splatter wand or what baby boy? Not yet. It'll, it'll eventually happen. Oh, you're planning on masturbating. I, I met with some, not masturbating, but, you know, with, with a girl. Oh, you know a girl who's willing to do it.
Starting point is 01:11:01 I mean, I'm just saying eventually. Oh, you're saying eventually it'll happen with a woman. Right. Okay. Okay. This is nothing. It's okay. But you don't have like something on your calendar right now and it's just, no.
Starting point is 01:11:15 Okay. Okay. Cool. Cool. Um, let's take one more call, man, because I think this is it right here. And happy Valentine's Day to everybody. Hey, Theo. I just wanted to give you an update. I called in about two or three years ago and my video aired on the episode that you had with Kalilah at the time.
Starting point is 01:11:41 I was talking about how my wife at the time ended up leaving me for another woman. Oh, I remember this. Hey, Theo. Hey, Kyla. A big fan of you guys just wanted to get your advice on a recent development I had. I recently got left by my wife for another woman, completely blindsided, had no idea. Yeah, I guess I'll just look for any advice you guys would give as I move on to this next chapter of my life. Gang, brother. Well, next month in March,
Starting point is 01:12:18 my new wife and I are expecting our first little one, our daughter. So, is there anybody who's struggling out there or maybe, I don't know, taking things don't, really looked at great. Just wanna let you know it gets better and I appreciate everybody's thoughts. Theo, thank you. You know, a lot to me what you said in that podcast
Starting point is 01:12:40 about my call and yeah, just appreciate you. Really, thanks man. Gang baby, wow. Man, that's got me really. That's got my eyeballs trying to spurt baby. Damn brother, thank you man. I wanna hear that part one more time. That really made my day man. Next month in March, my new wife and I are expecting our first little one,
Starting point is 01:13:07 our daughter. So just anybody who's struggling out there or maybe I don't know, making things don't really look that great. I just want to let you know it gets better and I appreciate it. You hear that man? You hear when he said my wife and I were expecting our first little one It makes you feel something It makes you feel something that's love man. That is undeniable That is undeniable I believe that that is God's light in the world I believe that Nothing else makes you do nothing else makes you Nothing else makes you do nothing else makes you
Starting point is 01:13:48 Nothing else makes you feel anything really Nothing else makes you feel something from the I mean that that feeling comes up from It's almost like It almost feels like it comes from the Just from the pad comes from forever That feeling of love just man it comes from forever Yeah, just man, so I want to hear that one more time Yeah, just man, I so I want to hear that one more time Next month in March my new wife and I are expecting our first little one our daughter so
Starting point is 01:14:38 Just anybody who's struggling out there or maybe I don't know making things don't Really look that great Just want to let you know it gets better and I appreciate everybody's thoughts I love that great. I just want to let you know it gets better and I appreciate everybody's thoughts. Wow. Yeah. That's love, man. And that's why we stay in the game. And that's why we stay in the game.
Starting point is 01:14:54 Even to witness that for somebody else, that's still love. I'm still getting something out. I get so much out of that. Man, the rest of my dayame is gonna mean more to me. So the more things I can love, even if it's not like somebody else or like having like the perfect like partner or Straight person or whatever. I don't even know what the or just having the perfect woman Or man if you are a woman or gay person, they can have everybody can have somebody. But damn dude, even if you, you know, just you can still get love.
Starting point is 01:15:36 That's when there's other, you know, you can still get love. And don't let it let don't come down off those feelings when somebody else has something very loving. Don't let it let don't come down off those feelings when somebody else has something very loving Don't let that feeling don't then let that feeling turn. Dang. I wish I had it It's okay to ponder that a little bit, but don't let that don't go off that cliff Because I think the more we can just keep the that that vibe of like hey, this is possible I See this I just just wanna be around this. I wanna be involved in a line of work
Starting point is 01:16:07 that makes me feel love. I wanna be involved around people, community, whether it's a church or a men's group or recovery or a fucking sweat lodge, whatever it is, I wanna be involved in something that makes me feel something. Because that's why I'm here. You know?
Starting point is 01:16:34 I'm here to stand on my tippy toes in the driveway of the Lord. And feel that kiss, baby. Yeah. And feel that kiss, baby Yeah Happy Valentine's Day to everybody. Sorry if I'm all over the place I don't give a fuck been all over the place my whole fucking life. I don't even know where I am. I don't know I Don't know what I'm doing most of the time to be honest with you. I I don't know what I'm doing most of the time to be honest with you. I don't, my life feels confusing sometimes. I don't know what's going on.
Starting point is 01:17:11 You know, but yeah, I'm not trying to tear up on here. I'm not trying to fucking me put these shades back on damn bro. My balls are looking a little gay. Sorry, they have a monitor in here. But yeah, I don't know. Who knows what, yeah. But I just keep hoping that I have moments like that that make me feel something.
Starting point is 01:17:47 And sometimes you have a lot of them in your own life. Sometimes you get them all out of other people's lives. Sometimes the older woman calls you and tells you that she loves you and it's not your grandmother, but it's still your grandmother because the love is still the same. That's so I don't know. I'm getting a little preachy, but yeah, man. And I love you guys. I'm thankful.
Starting point is 01:18:12 Thank you to the people that come out to the shows. The bigger shows have gotten better. They've gotten easier. It was harder in the beginning, you know, it's harder to be in like new spaces and stuff. I'm grateful for that. Thank you for paying attention to this podcast and listening. Um, thank you for hitting the hotline.
Starting point is 01:18:30 Nine, eight, five, six, six, four, nine, five, zero, three. Um, yeah, I just, I don't know. That's about it. You know what? I promised a friend of mine, um, that I would play his song on the way out. So I'm going to put it in here. And, uh, this is a song years ago that I, uh, started listening to and, um, and I'll listen to it when I need to get some feelings out of me.
Starting point is 01:19:00 Um, you know, this one does it for me. It's kind of an emo kind of vibe, but you know what it is. Cause you know what it is. Cause that's who that's, you know, you know, the war we out here doing. So, um, this song is by Evan Bartels. It's called the devil God and me. If you're not looking for that emo feeling, feeling thing right now, then that's okay.
Starting point is 01:19:26 You going about your day. If you are, tap in. But praise God, baby, love you guys. And yeah, just thanks for tuning in. And happy Valentine's Day. Happy Valentine's Day. If you don't have that other person, you have yourself. You have yourself, man.
Starting point is 01:19:46 And that is the most important person you're ever going to get to know or spend time with. And I'm not preaching at you. I'm really saying this to myself because more and more in my life, I realize that. I should spit. I got to spend. I'm giving this gift of being a human being and and and and and rarely do I even check in and hey Theo what's going on hey who are you hey what do you you know like there's just so many distractions it's
Starting point is 01:20:20 not a fault or anything it's just there's so many dark arts out there they don't want you to get to know yourself They don't want you they want you buying they want you fucking Working slave and they don't want you to get to know yourself Because if you get to know yourself, you're gonna know that you're a fucking warrior That's what they're afraid of Because I believe that's what we all used to be So that's my Valentine this year man. It's gonna be me
Starting point is 01:20:50 And I'm chill with that And to my girl that called and she was feeling like loving there for her hey, I got you And you got yourself too, you know, sorry, I'm getting a little preachy, but um, yeah, it's just like, how much do I get to know the most important love in my own life is fucking, I should love myself, man. I should, I should know I should, I don't know what I'm trying to say.
Starting point is 01:21:22 Anyway, uh, but yeah, fuck. Now this song is so emo going out there, but that's where we are today. This is Evan Bartels, the devil God and me. Happy Valentine's, baby, praise God. Happy Valentine's Day. Love somebody, love yourself. Look somebody in the eyes and say,
Starting point is 01:21:44 hey, I fucking, I love you. And look yourself in the eyes and say the same thing, man. And if nobody's telling you they love you, I fucking love you, fucking little ass, you little pervert, bro, praise God. Hervert, bro, praise God. Thank you for being here, Raleigh. Thank you, Theo. Happy Valentine's Day, man.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Happy Valentine's Day. I said, there's a great big world waiting right outside. Mother, may I raise my voice? We the people have that choice. I love that tune man. I encourage you to go listen to it. It's Evan Bartels. We'll put the link to it. I love Evan's music. But let's amp this one in man finish untold. Come take my hand and walk there with me. I know a place where we can be free. Happy Valentine's Day. There is a light shining for you. Guiding your way, helping you through Shadows and me, are all that you see We'll find a place where we can be free
Starting point is 01:24:21 From the mountain tops, the deepest valleys, hear a voice calling you. It's the rising sun, shining in the darkest valley. Can't you see? You will be free. Praise God, baby. And that can be your God. Anyway, whatever God you got, baby. We ain't trying to God lock you. Mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm-mm I don't know the words man. I'm just Be good to yourselves baby. You deserve it baby. Love you guys, man. Thank you. Be good to yourselves, baby.
Starting point is 01:25:47 You deserve it, baby. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:25:55 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 01:26:03 Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. you

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