Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Double Soul Shaman w/ Josh Potter & Will Blunderfield | Your Mom's House Ep. 750
Episode Date: March 13, 2024SPONSORS: - Get Coors Light delivered straight to your door with Instacart by going to https://coorslight.com/YMH - Don’t miss out on all the action this week at DraftKings! Download the DraftKin...gs app today! Sign-up using https://dkng.co/mom or through my promo code MOM. - Download the Gametime app, create an account, and use code YMH for $20 off your first purchase. - Go to https://Saatva.com/theshit to get $200 off ANY mattress of your choice. This week on Your Mom's House Podcast we've got another airtight episode as Tom Segura and Christina P welcome two guests! First up we have the Double Soul Shaman himself, Will Blunderfield, followed by longtime YMH favorite, the great and powerful, Josh Potter. Before welcoming the guests, Christine and Tim open the show with a freakout at a nail salon, talk about Tom's dad eyes, the black plague, and discuss spending time at the mall. They also check out clips featuring a messed up foot, a man chugging tequila, and the greatest laugh ever. Next, Will Blunderfield joins Christina and Tom to talk all about naked yoga and the benefits of consuming genetic material. Will talks about his background, his singing career, Canadian Idol, gay frogs, before presenting a special gift to Christina to use on her own pleasure palace. Tom and Christina ask tons of questions and learn a thing or two about urine therapy and knocking the o'l bean bag around from the certified sex kung fu instructor himself. After Will slips away, the Roach scurries in and he's got a brand new show coming to YMH Studios! Starting tonight, Josh Potter will be hosting Behind The Jeans, a weekly livestream recap show where he'll cover and dissect everything going on in the YMH universe. Tom and Christina also catch-up with Potter's love life, get an update on The King, introduce him to Tony P and some dumb tourists, plus dive into a barrel of Christina's Curations! Try it out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Really?
So I wanted to see if I could put my into a recipe
in a really yummy way.
You do your breath of fire, for example.
Feel your anus, feel your third eye, inhale.
Squeeze that beautiful anal ring.
That's horrible.
That is a perfect.
My own TikToks bummed me out.
That's the perfect way to end the show.
Your own TikToks bothered you.
When you're bummed out, it's by your own stuff. That's how you wrap end the show. Their only tick tock spot, they're dears. When you're bummed out is when, by your own stuff,
that's how you wrap up a show.
Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.
["MOM'S HOUSE"]
Don't adjust your prescription like a dad.
This is the right place to be.
Welcome to your mom's house.
It's another fun episode.
Today's episode has us literally shaking.
We're so excited.
I couldn't sleep last night.
I woke up at one in the morning
just in anticipation of what's about to happen.
Two people are coming in that we can't even,
I mean, we have a double soul shaman coming in.
That's that's.
And our old buddy.
Elementary. Josh Potter's gonna be here.
It's such a good day.
It's such a big day.
Two guys that talk about their cocks a lot.
Can't wait.
Well, I'm curious about the double soul shaman.
I have so many questions for him and how he got started
and how it's going.
Everything, there's just nothing but questions.
Real quick to plug this, I'm gonna be tonight.
I am in St. Augustine.
Um, there is a show in a few days, but that show sold out,
so we added one at the St. Augustine Amphitheater.
That's tonight, March 13th, and tomorrow, Orlando.
Orlando, Florida.
I will be at the Kia Center.
That is tomorrow, March 14th.
And we released extra tickets. Salt Lake City, April 4th at the Kia Center that is tomorrow, March 14th, and we released extra tickets
Salt Lake City April 4th at the Delta Center April 12th at Bridgestone Arena
April 13th at Spectrum Center in Charlotte Bridgestone is Nashville, of course and then April 14th
Raleigh at the PNC Arena those tickets are all on sale at tomsaker.com
at the PNC arena. Those tickets are all on sale at TomSugarra.com slash tour.
You said all those cities incorrectly,
Charlotte, like Titties, Puta.
Oh my bad.
What was the other one?
Charlotte?
Yeah.
You didn't say Charlotte.
Yeah, Raleigh, Railme.
Railme.
Yeah.
Matt, I like to plug my shows to Judoark Titties,
March 23rd, I've added an early show, not a late show.
For the moms, it's a 4 p.m. Show on a Saturday
Why because I can I learned that I can and then in Los Angeles. I'm doing the Masonic Lodge at the Hollywood Forever
Cemetery how fun is that and I added a late show on that one may eight may eight
Dr. Drew's like fucks bitches like crazy. That's cool. So
Mm-hmm. Dr. Drew was like fucks bitches like crazy. That's cool. So
We're both doing shows having fun big cities doing stuff Oh buy my lipstick christian if you online.com if you haven't already
Thank you to everybody that has and some big things are coming that lipstick way
You'll see it. You're gonna like the way you look. I guarantee it guarantee it
All right, let's open the show real quick so we can really get into things. I'm excited so much. Are you gonna be able to get my fucking prick, my hand too?
What are you scared of? Stop being scared, hey bitches!
Will you get my hand too?
I relate to this, I feel it.
You're pretty cool.
That was Josh Potter's.
No, I did the wrong intro.
There you go. That was a bonus. That was Josh Potter.
Oh, it's round.
I kind of like it though.
Don't burn me in the fucking stand!
Welcome to your mom's house.
With Tom Segura.
Tom Setsura.
And Christina Pajitzen.
Christina Pajitzen.
Welcome to your mom's house. No, no. with Tom Segura Tom Segura and Christina Pajitci Christina Pajitci
Welcome to your mom's house No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Just shaking with anticipation.
Yeah, so quick update. Just shaking with anticipation. I can't control.
Yeah, so quick update, these dad eyes are really becoming dads now.
I went yesterday, I had my eyes checked, I don't have BVD.
What is BVD?
It's butthole of vagina disease and I don't have it.
But they did up my prescription.
They're like, that's all that's going on.
You just need a little stronger.
You're just getting older and you're dying and decaying.
Yeah, and what they tell you is that everybody,
this is the way the doctor said it,
she said everybody's stabilizers weaken over time.
And then there's just kinds of, comes a time usually
where they just kind of plateau plateau like that's where it is
You know like they stop getting worse. Okay, so she's like right now. They just are getting weaker
So then you're gonna get worse or and then it's gonna stop getting worse or that's kind of what they say
Yeah, hey, that's kind of cool because mine have gone worse or two on days like this one tired. I don't wear these are the ones
These are actually the old the new ones are getting made Like we need to send them off to get the,
so these are my old ones, but shit.
I like the other ones better that you were wearing.
I know. The ones you can't find.
Yeah, me too.
Those are a lot cooler.
These are too small because your head's very large.
Thank you.
And you need larger glasses
to accommodate the enormity of your brain size.
Thank you, I know.
I can't find those anywhere.
I know, well, I'll find them.
It's because the seeker hasn't been on it. You need to
put me on the case. Listen, I have a total washlet update for everybody. I know we've
all been on tender hooks wondering when the total washlet in our home. It's a big deal.
The total toilet actually, not just a washlet. I just got an update. Toto has all the information
they need. We're waiting on them to schedule someone. Yeah.
I mean, how long is that shit gonna take?
Listen, let me say, how long am I gonna be
mashing shit into my gut?
I hate it so much.
I hate it so much.
I had to shit to shower today again.
Jesus.
It's like the Silver Lake days, Tom.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Any, how long do you spend at the mall?
Oh, me?
Mm-hmm. All day, nigga.
Just you know me personally, I don't know.
How long you niggas ball?
All day.
And he has this...
All day.
We don't say that.
And he's got the gift of finding the song.
There we go.
There we go.
He keeps trying to dare me to say that last bit.
All day.
Niggah?
Yeah.
That's right.
I mean, that's how you say it.
Man, ain't that crazy?
That was like my fucking like second month of working with y'all.
You're like, could you do something for me?
You're the way that you said it.
You just come in the booth like, I got something to do.
Like, what is this?
You're like, oh, why don't you just go to that mic real quick.
Say something for me.
How's that for the best?
Yeah, I know.
Yeah, but Eddie's gift is finding these songs.
Cool songs.
And then we go back.
Who sings that?
Who's Rippity Rappin'?
Who?
That is Ye.
Yeah, that's Ye.
He is at the mall a lot.
He loves the mall. He loves the mall. Who does it, though? Yeah, that's yay. He is at the mall a lot. He loves the mall.
He loves the mall.
Who does it though?
He's a fashion.
I will say this.
It's fashion, I call it.
You know, the mall, certain malls are pretty.
There's, here's, malls have like opposite ends
of the spectrum.
We were, Potter and I, interestingly enough,
were just talking about this really depressing mall.
Like when a mall goes under, it is the saddest place to be.
But a poppin' mall, it's a fun thing it's a fun vibe man nothing greater than taking
it's very American too I feel like to be like the fucking mall man it's
depressing it's just stores it's just commercialism yeah it's just yeah I
remember like every time like cousins would visit they're like all you have is
stories and you're like yeah that's us but I think that my my dad liked the mall because this is like in Europe, you sit down, you've
watched people.
Yeah.
And he would just sit on a bench and watch the fat people or ugly people walk by.
If they create the right vibe in there, it is a nice experience.
Right.
And then also, if you live in oppressively hot places, you know, it's kind of like,
that was like a nice escape in Woodland Hills.
You know, it would be 110.
Oh, Woodland Hills, best mall.
Go to that mall.
Topanga Plaza, high value mall,
lots of good stuff in there.
Yeah, it's nice.
I grew up going, I worked in that mall
at one point in my life.
A lot of history there.
I smoked cigarettes in that mall.
Yeah.
A lot of good stuff.
But then there's a mall here that it is like
time traveling to the 90s,
like they even play.
Yeah, those are sad, those are sad malls.
But I kind of like it. You guys know which one I'm talking about. You go in there and
you're like, dude, this is what it was like.
That's actually the step, one step removed from the saddest mall. The saddest mall has
usually like a mostly shut down stores.
And then they only have like a few stores open. And you're like, this is the only place
you can get like a cell phone cover or something.'re like, this is the only place you can get
like a cell phone cover or something.
You know what I mean?
Like it's got one restaurant.
And you're like, oh man.
And then there's one massage place called Be Relax.
Be Relax.
That place is open.
Be Relax.
Be Relax.
There was so Relax and then there's Be Relax in LA.
I remember.
Hey bitches!
Yeah.
Yeah.
What I was gonna tell you is I feel like this is what you did to me when I was having
my hair done this past weekend.
Oh yeah.
You got a little anxious with me because it was taking too long and you're like, hey
bitches.
I had some things to do.
Let's fucking go.
I said let's fucking go man.
Yeah.
But I didn't know.
I didn't know we were on a time crunch.
Sorry about that.
Stop being scared.
That's a good thing to tell people when you're screaming.
Stop being scared, you dummy.
If you're a big guy and you're yelling at women,
tell them, stop being scared.
That always works.
It works.
It's like we tell someone to calm down.
They love hearing that.
Yeah, if they're really angry, calm down.
But haven't you felt like doing this?
I mean, I know you don't get your nails done,
but I've wanted to do this several times.
Like, what is taking so long?
Let's go, it's my turn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think I've ever. I wouldn't yell like what is taking so long let's go. It's my turn. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
I don't I don't they have ever I wouldn't yell at them. No. Hey bitches. Do you have fucking time for my hands?
That's how I inside of my head. I feel that same way
But that's what separates you from this guy is that it's inside everybody's allowed to have inside thoughts inside thoughts
Yeah, acting out on them is real crazy. I know but that's why I like watching him do it. So cool
So yeah, new dad
eyes are coming. Cool. Hopefully they change everything. And then that's it. Like I hope
you don't get any worse. Why are you sorry? I know. It's only for I'm farsighted. You're
fartsighted. Fartsighted so I can see distance fine, but up close and screens. You know the
doctor said her theory was that people are experiencing this?
She's like, I don't think we were designed
to just stare at screens.
That's like something that happened in the last.
I thought she was gonna say that you take too long
to ship on the toilet.
She didn't say that at all.
She never mentioned it.
How much time you spend on the toilet?
All day.
Any?
Any?
Yep.
All day homie.
I don't say that.
No.
It's not even fun to say.
Hey man, come in the booth real quick.
Do me a favor.
All right.
That's so bad.
Second month.
Second month.
Month two.
We didn't even really get that close here.
Really?
I don't remember this.
That was right up top.
I didn't know nothing about this place.
Well, to be fair, I've asked a few people to do that.
I've been with the course of my life.
All right.
Yeah, so we're going to talk to some amazing people today.
I can't. I don't even know.
I know.
Can I tell you something?
I don't tremble when we have celebrities in here.
Yeah.
Nearly as much as I am quivering inside about the double show.
This is really what the show is about.
Yeah.
And we haven't had, like, you know, we've discovered wonderful people, had conversations
with people over the years, but this is what the show is about.
For me, this is the core, yes, of YMH.
This is everything we stand for, everything we look for, everything we dream of.
Also, this is the part of the show.
Yeah, yeah, it's the airbag, right?
Yeah. This is the part of the... Yeah, this is the part of the... Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the...
Yeah, this is the part of the... Yeah, yeah. All right.
All better.
Everything's fine now.
Fixed.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's a sound of healing.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's when you tell a child when you're soothing them.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's when you tell a child when you're soothing them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay, okay, you're fine.
He's like, I heard this screaming.
Also, that didn't seem like it took a medical degree
to figure that out.
He's like, oh, your leg's broken this way.
Let's put it this way.
All better now.
That really didn't take anything, you know?
I know, dude.
I was watching like a,
this one of my old timey British shows
and this guy broke his arm, falling out of a tree,
and they're like, we're gonna have to saw it off.
And this one doctor was like,
hold on, I've heard of this new procedure
where you can set the bone right and then sew it up.
And then they're like, no, he's gonna get gangry, no.
And they saved the guy's arm.
That's pretty cool.
I've had a similar experience.
They're like, cut both the arm. You would have had to cut the arm and the leg off. In a certain time, yeah, a certain day they would have. That's pretty cool. I've had a similar experience
Yeah, certain day they would have there's been like this is useless. Yeah, and that's it There goes your life now. You're in a wheelchair if they even had wheelchairs
They probably just throw you in the alleyway and you get eaten by rats
No, you're useless
Man and in that era where you have to go like forage for food or just you know
They're not gonna be like. Oh, you know, they're not gonna be like,
oh, you know, they're requiring that every business
has a ramp for you to access.
Oh my God, can I tell you what, Ellis?
Push him out the window, he's useless.
From day to day annoyances to the big stuff,
life throws your way, it's easy to get worked up,
but there's a better way, a chiller way.
Turn that canceled concert into a parking lot
dance party. Too cold for an ocean swim? Play volleyball and light a bonfire instead. That's
choosing chill. And when you choose chill, reach for a Coors Light. Come on, Coors Light is America's
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crisp and refreshing as the Colorado Rockies.
When you choose to rise
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You know, the Ellis is learning about the black plague in school.
And he's like, mom, did you know that?
Sorry, I'm doing the wrong.
Their kids voice.
Did you know that when people died during the plague, they would put their bodies
in catapults and then use the catapults, like to use the dead bodies as a, you know, stuff for the catapults, like use the dead bodies as, you know, stuff for the catapults
to throw them.
Basically using dead bodies as catapult ammunition.
Yeah, it's awesome.
I didn't know that. Did you know that?
I've heard of that before.
Kids are learning the coolest shit ever.
Yeah, he loves that kind of stuff too.
I know. I love it. Super goth.
I told them that story the other night that they laughed so hard. It's so like,
he dares me.
He's like, you gotta tell us a story before.
And if we laugh, you win.
He's like, that's kind of your whole life.
We don't laugh, we win.
And I'm like, okay.
Yeah.
So he's like, you get 10 chances.
I was like, okay.
10 chances.
So first story, I was like, I stumbled upon a car accident.
There was a car accident back in my hometown, 14th street.
And when I got out of the car,
there was a woman laying on the street
and she was really hurt.
So we called 911 and I go and the police showed up
and a fire truck showed up and an ambulance showed up.
And they all walked up and the
Police said like well I showed up first. I think I should go first
I go so he started peeing on the woman right he peed all over the
And then the fireman said well I was second so then he dropped his pants and he had diarrhea and he
He died already all over the woman and then the ambulance driver was like I'm last and
then he threw up all over the lady yeah and they were laughing so fucking hard
course and then they're like and then what happened I was like and then they
just left her there and she felt better and then they he goes uh you win that
was a great story dad we. We're great parents.
Yeah, that's a cool story.
We're great parents. Why don't you tell the audience what I taught our kids to do in the
car?
Well, when we're driving by, just people walking down the street, the kids roll down the window
and they bark at them. They go, like they do that. And then when they see-
I think it's fun to bark at people. Anybody on a bike that go,
look a dork.
And like the other day,
Julian, he goes,
dad, he goes,
one dork.
And I just turned and there's just a guy
riding his bike.
He's like,
I was like,
one?
Like he was like,
this is one dork.
One dork.
Well, I'll tell you why I do it.
Because I think it's real dangerous to ride
bicycles where the cars are. I don't think it's good. I do it because I think it's real dangerous to ride bicycles
where the cars are. I don't think it's good. I know, I know, it's the law, whatever, we
share the road. I don't like it, so I want to condition them very early to be averse
to that. And whenever I see people smoking cigarettes.
Yeah, you tell them losers. I know, because they go, look at these losers over here.
Look at the losers. Yeah.
So now they're gonna smoke.
Losers, dorks, and they're just barking at people or living life.
And hearing stories about women injured, getting pissed on, barfed on.
Yeah, and diarrhea.
And diarrhea.
And also, it healed them.
She was all better after that.
She got up and got back on her car.
I don't know what our kids are going to be into when they grow up, man.
Cool stuff.
Good stuff.
Slick stuff.
Neat stuff.
Yeah.
It's pretty rad
You might like this. Oh, yeah player
Joe breezy. I can do this. It's not this is just chug. You just suck it up and you just do it
Trone I see puke coming in the future. Yeah a whole
He's gonna drink it like it's Gatorade. No way
He's gonna drink it like it's Gatorade? No way.
Wow.
No, it's water.
That ain't water.
He switched it.
No, it's water.
They watched him take the top off.
He took it with his other cloth.
Give me the bag!
That's my eye!
I can't handle it!
Thanks, Tom.
Yeah, that was something, though.
He's...
That's a lot of...
A lot of a lot
So you know, I don't know
I didn't realize I don't know what's the head seal. Let's change it. Let's change it. Oh man
What else is wrong with you? Oh, this is better for you. Okay. I know I hate pews. Okay. I got another one for you ready
No, I'm all fucking traumatized.
No, no, no, no, this is bad.
I didn't know that was you.
I'm heart's pounding.
I don't like it.
This one you'll enjoy, I promise.
Having flashbacks and stuff.
Ready?
Childhood problems.
This is something that you should be listening to.
Just so sweet.
But we...
Lather the penis in milk and honey and rose oil and rose petals and say beautiful things to it.
You can also do cockgazing, so just looking and watching and watching the testes move
and really appreciating how beautiful it is.
And then saying things to it that just you channel, that you just see and you feel about the penis and while
you're doing that you can pour this yummy milk libation over it.
I feel like our double soul charm would be into this.
100% I think so too but I also feel like this is a lesson for you.
Cock gazing.
Well why don't you get a milk and honey concoction together and lather it and say beautiful things and gaze?
I will I do love penis gazing. I always gaze at your penis.
Yeah, I'm talking about mine.
Yeah, yours.
I mean how about spending a little more worship time?
I will. You know I love worshiping the penis.
I don't know.
Can I tell you what?
The other night I was-
Love that you don't express it.
I can take it there. I didn't know you were interested.
You know I wanted to watch Saltburn again last night
before you got home.
Oh, Jesus.
And I was like, he's gonna think I'm only watching it
for cock appreciation.
The truth is I like the rest of the story,
but I didn't want the judgment.
So you avoided it?
I did.
That's silly of you.
It is silly.
You do a lot of silly things.
I do, I overthink it.
I'm hyper-vigilant, I got emotional problems.
Yeah, it's for real.
You can watch the movie whenever you watch it 15 times. Who cares? Can I tell you something really stupid that I realized? What?
It's important to me though because it's a significant life change
Okay, Harlan Williams was on where my mom's at and we were talking about how at my love of vampires and me wanting to become one
My whole life, right? Basically. Yeah, and then Harlan pointed out the obvious, which I never considered.
Babe, look at me.
If I become a vampire, I have to do everything at night.
And that fucking sucks.
This is a big revelation to you?
Yeah, but I didn't think about it that way.
Like I couldn't go to my kids' stuff.
I couldn't go to parent-teacher conferences.
I can't go to the beach.
You have to go at night
That ruins everything, but I never put that I never thought about it like that. Isn't that stupid?
Well, is this actually affecting your thoughts and now I'm like I don't want to be a vampire anymore
Wow, my lifelong dream is dashed damn that is pretty crazy
I know because but it matters to me. This is important to me.
That your desire is now has hit a real obstacle.
It's done.
And it is.
It's a dream for me that will no longer be.
Okay.
Well, here's what I say to that.
Whoa.
Isn't that the best laugh?
Yeah.
That's great. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,
ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, That was always in the back of my head, literally as like a childhood fantasy. Yeah. And now that's gone.
It's like you wanting to be a professional football player or whatever it is guys dream
of.
Sure.
I don't know.
Immortality.
Yeah, but then you get to an age where you're like, I guess I'm not going to be a, so are
you saying that that just happened to you now?
Now I'm not going to be a vampire?
Yeah.
You just put that together?
I was always holding out on hope that my best friend, Shauna, would become one
and then make me one.
That was always the deal we had.
And now I don't want to be anywhere.
And then you're like, I can't go to the beach anymore.
Yeah.
I can't go to parent-teacher conferences.
Yeah, I can't do like normal things that I enjoy.
And then you think about it,
all your friends are gonna die, everyone's gonna die.
And I don't want to make new friends every 100 years.
That sucks.
Yeah.
I don't want to make new friends now.
It's really tough. It's tough. I don't want wanna make new friends now. It's really tough.
It's tough.
I don't wanna make new friends either.
You can only be friends with the people
that you formed your brain with, I think.
It's kind of, yeah.
You can just be like, I don't know,
kind of friendly to people,
but you don't wanna have like new, whole new friendships
take place. I know, that's so weird, isn't it?
Yeah, that sucks.
It's just like, because it's too much to get to know how their brain works and
like your ins and outs.
It's like I've done this with people already that I've known and love for 20
some years, 30 years.
Yeah, that's it.
That's it.
That's all I have room for too.
Yeah.
All right, let's take a break and let's move on.
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You know him as the double soul shaman.
It is William Blunderfield everybody.
Let him hear it.
Give big round of applause.
This is so nice to be in Texas.
It's great.
You look even better in person.
I mean, you look so hot in your videos.
We comment on a lot is just like how great your skin looks.
Thank you. I feel the same about you guys.
Oh please.
You especially like you've always looked good but you have lost some weight.
Yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Have you been working out a bit?
Yeah, working out.
Nice.
Even different. Yeah, yeah.
And then I heard testosterone injections.
Right in the...
Here push the microphone.
Yeah.
Put...
Oh you can move it.
Move it towards you.
So yeah.
Yeah and how is how are the testosterone injections feeling?
Great.
Good?
No side effects?
I mean, nothing negative.
Okay.
Because there's something called shilligit and it's basically the sweat of a mountain
in the Himalayas and it's natural way to increase your testosterone.
Oh, I'd love to be.
Yeah.
Introduce this.
Does he have to go to the Himalayas to get that?
You don't.
They've actually hot water extracted it. Pull it just a little down. You want that? You don't. They actually hold water extracted.
Pull it just a little down.
You want to see your beautiful day.
Oh, there we go.
There you go.
OK, thank you.
See the face.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, OK.
There's so much.
I want to get into this.
Yes, we'll do.
But we have so much to ask.
Yeah, go for it.
And I think the best place to start
is that we know you're from BC.
You're from Vancouver.
I am from Vancouver, Canada.
And when you see somebody like you,
we start, you know, watching the videos,
gathering the information, you seem like you know a lot. You have a lot of knowledge. I have a Vancouver, Canada. And when you see somebody like you, we start, you know, watching the videos, gathering the information, you seem like you know a lot.
You have a lot of knowledge.
I have a lot to share.
You have a lot to share.
But before we get to all the stuff that you can share,
I think we're all fascinated like at an origin story.
Like, did you have a regular suburban upbringing?
Oh my gosh, it was so conservative.
It was.
It was so conservative. Although was. It was so conservative.
Although we did have nudes on our walls.
My parents had a few nudes.
Okay.
Of themselves or of others.
No, like these artistic nudes
that men and women in the breast.
And I thought, oh, I like that.
Okay.
And so I did a degree and my mom first,
she was like, we're not helping to pay for university
for you to study sexuality.
But then things changed. Right. You know, and I explained, you know, helping to pay for university for you to study sexuality. But then things changed.
Right.
You know, and I explained, you know, it's not smart.
It's to learn.
And I feel like sexuality is the biggest wound in all of humanity.
Really?
I think it's like one of the most upstream ways that the matrix cuts us off from our power.
Like if you can make your, if they can make us feel kind of dirty in our roots,
like that we don't really have very nice vaginas and penises,
then if they can cut us off from that place
that makes us wild and free,
then they don't have to put a literal cage around us.
Why do you think people harbor so much shame
about sexuality and sex in general and their bodies?
I think that, see, that's interesting.
When you say that, I feel like you've done
a lot of work on yourself.
Like it's not as much of an issue for you, which is good.
Probably better now at this age, right?
I think everybody goes through an age
where you feel either shame or you're embarrassed
or you're just insecure about yourself.
But I think that's a natural thing that happens
going through puberty, maybe your teens and your 20s, right?
And then we always say like the,
at our age now, like we were so much more confident.
Just cause you're more confident than who you are.
I'm 44.
You're 44.
And how old are you?
47.
47, nice.
You guys look great.
Oh, nice.
And sorry, what was your question?
Well, I was saying that what is,
what was your thought on why people maybe feel
so much shame about sexuality and their bodies, their genitals.
Like what do you think, why do you think that is?
I think that we're brought up in a way, like without getting too conspiratorial right away.
In a trauma-based mind control system. And again, I think the reason why people feel so
much shame is because it's deliberately done. I don't know if it's necessarily a conspiracy, it's more just predatory capitalism.
Again, if you can make people not really feel that good about themselves, then they're going to
want to consume, consume, consume. Buy things. Buy things to compensate. Oh, interesting. And we
are, I mean, at least in the United States, very much, we're from the Puritans. We've inherited a puritanical culture, right?
I mean capitalism the work ethic are you have Scottish descent either no, I'm Hungarian
Okay, yeah
Peruvian and Spanish because there are the witch burnings
Europe anybody who is in touch with their sexuality or natural healing was literally burned at the stake
So who knows maybe some of us were in past lives burned at the stake.
So we still have that kind of like ancestral trauma that we're processing.
Interesting.
Well, you certainly are in touch with it.
You probably do have it.
I think so.
And how old are you?
I have a persecution complex a little bit that I'm working through.
And that's why I like breathwork.
I'll share with some, some breathwork techniques that work for me later.
I'm 38. You're 38. Okay. You look techniques that work for me later. I'm 38 you're 38
Okay, look you look fantastic. Thank you. So we get we get you get to your degree
And then do you start because now we know you as like, you know, this practitioner the naked yogi the workshops
Also, do you do you get into that really early again your 20s or is that something you kind of evolve into? I was on Canadian Idol when I was 16.
Oh, because you're a musician?
Yeah, I made it pretty far, but then the Simon Cowell type judge, I think his name was Zach
Werner up in Canada.
They basically tried to copy American Idol and it was not good because they were not
really being themselves, but I wasn't really being myself and I wasn't really in my body.
So I made it pretty far, but then he was like, you're too theatrical, get out.
And I did the Walk of Shame.
And then I won a scholarship to a theatrical school
in New York.
So I moved when I was 17.
Oh wow.
To New York.
Yes, and the acting teacher was very,
the one who I liked the most,
but who I also had the most friction with,
he would make us do yoga before we went on stage.
He said it would make us better actors and singers,
you know, breath support and being present.
And so I started to fall in love more with the yoga than the
cattle call additions.
So I moved back to Vancouver and I got my yoga certification.
But then it's like, you can do all the downward dogs you want, but
if you don't really love yourself and if you're kind of cut off from
your sexuality, it doesn't do much.
So was that, was that a process for you learning to love yourself?
Oh, God.
Yeah, I got addicted to Coke.
Coke and alcohol were my challenges.
And it was basically in 2014, one of my students, I was kind of going through a low period and
he was like, try this.
And I remember it was a little bit of powder on a key backstage behind behind a nightclub and I did it I was like yeah for 20 minutes and
then panic attacks sure but it just hooks you especially if you've got an
addictive personality like I do I mean is nice yes have you tried coke I've
never been a coke guy no I OD'd though when I was 19 I think I because when I googled you to be on the show
I saw that your story about that that was intense. Yeah. Yeah, that was I mean it felt really good
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, everything right up until dying was awesome. It's really good. Yeah
So but you're so rooted it's interesting. Yes, cuz some okay, so you're a gay man, too
So would well see that's the thing. Oh, okay.
The whole kind of ethos of the work that I do
is it's de-armoring, it's dropping gay and straight
and even bisexual, all those terms, those labels,
I call them labels from the matrix.
Sure.
And stepping into more glandular potency together
or masculinity.
You know, there's so many endocrine disruptors.
You can't be too paranoid.
I'm always like, where is this from?
You know, because there's this movie that you can watch called the disappearing male.
It's free to watch on YouTube.
It's a documentary.
There's literally thousands of chemicals in the pharmaceuticals and in the food
and in the water.
They're finding birth control pill runoff in the municipal water supply,
especially in Florida.
That's not surprising. It's shrinking the testes. Really?
Peanut size is the smallest it's ever been.
And our ball sacks on average,
you and me are only producing about 40% of the testosterone.
Our grandpa's ball sacks were producing in the 40s.
And do you think it's correlated to the astro, I've heard about
this, like there's astrogenizing of males.
There's another book called Astrogeneration I can really
recommend where this PhD guy is going in and doing all this
research and there's just been no long-term studies done on
like what is the effect on men's ball sacks of literally like
4,000, 5,000, 6,000 chemicals, they've
done a study on the anal genital distance, which is the space where your ball sac forms
and where your anus is.
And it's a marker for masculinization in the womb.
They found that women who are gestating a male fetus, for whatever reason it affects
male fetus is more this estrogenation that's happening
have very, very small anal genital distance, which means that the atrazine, the pesticides
their mother was consuming while gestating a male baby is causing a demasculinization
effect. What does that do to our psyches? It's turning the frogs transgender, for example, atrazine.
And I know people are gonna think, oh, that's just an Alex Jones conspiracy theory, but
I dug into it when he said that.
And there is a scientist named Tyrone Hayes who was hired by Sinjenta who created atrazine,
which is a very feminizing, plasticky kind of pesticide they spray on like 60 or 70%
of all American corn crops.
The frogs were turning gay and trans right next, like in the ponds next to where they were spraying.
So Tyrone Hayes put a vat with atrazine, put all these male frogs and then a control group and
the ones who were just exposed to a little bit of atrazine
started to aggressively fuck each other in the rectums,
and some turned, their gender went from male to female.
Whoa.
Now, trans people have existed since time immemorial.
But if it's being chemicalized,
if it's a chemical transness,
I don't think it's very authentic.
That's all.
I'm sure that makes sense.
And what about the Lulu lemon pants?
You mentioned that that will leach masculine energy
from the balls.
I gotta say, I'll tell you this too.
They make incredible boxers.
They really do.
I just got exposed to them.
And I do like their yoga pants.
They're very soft and breakable.
They are soft.
It's the problem with them,
eyes is when you go to like a hot yoga class,
like I was talking to the stewardess
and she was last night when I flew in
and she's like, oh yeah, I did like this really crazy
hot class, because I was talking about how I like
to do cold plunging.
She's like, but in Canada it's so cold.
And she's like, well, I guess I'm kind of crazy too.
Like I went to a bickroom, you know,
90 degree hot yoga class in Vegas, you know, in a desert.
Jesus.
So basically, sorry, what was the question?
The little lemons?
Oh, yeah.
Why are they leaching your masculine energy?
So they, when you heat up, that's my point here,
when you heat up the Luan fabric,
it starts to leach microplastics
in through your skin into your bloodstream.
Which can lower the amount of testosterone produced
and it can cause things like cancer in women.
So I just don't think it's, like I'm wearing right now
a Merino wool and you'd think that it would be too hot,
but it's fine.
It feels good.
It's kind of got a wicking effect.
Yeah.
How do you, I want to know this,
because like, you know, we see you in clips usually,
and like I remember there was a video where you said,
like, you know, all these men's workshops,
they're like the warrior this and all that.
Yeah.
And you're like, they don't,
they don't do what the Spartans or the Samurai did,
like the nipple sucking and ball sniffing taints and stuff.
Yeah. How do you learn, how did you learn that that's what these ancient, you know,
warriors did?
Well, so I did the degree in psychology and critical studies and sexuality and
nutrition and we learned like we dug into the anthropological evidence.
Yeah.
And it was just really interesting.
Like my Celtic ancestors,
they were even quote unquote, gayer than the Romans.
Really?
When the Romans tried to it.
Yeah.
Like especially up, like there's this clan called the Picts,
which means like painted ones.
And they would let the men and the women
were apparently very beautiful.
And they would strip down
and go into battle naked against the Romans.
Wow. That can't be practical.
That's great. It seems like...
But the Hawaiians did that, like it's very documented throughout history, not just my Celtic ancestors.
And it's cold in those Celtic regions.
Yeah, it's cold and also most like men's natural, I feel like...
But doesn't make sense, it's counter-intuitive.
I know, right? But naturalization is...
But then you just feel free.
Yeah.
Is to protect though, you know, right? But naturally, the nation is to protect though.
You kind of like endanger situations.
Like most men's bodies work where your genitals retreat, right?
It's like a protective mechanism.
So it almost seems like counterintuitive.
It does.
That in battle, you would be like, let it all hang out.
That's the thing.
But it's almost like feeling protected by God.
Yeah. No barriers between you and God.
Okay.
And that's why I do the men's work naked.
No barriers between you and nature and your bros.
What does ball cupping do?
So that's, okay.
So the word testes comes from the root word testify.
And in certain cultures, they wouldn't testify like in ancient Greece.
They wouldn't testify on a Bible in court.
They didn't testify in each other's ball zacks.
That's how you'd hold their balls and... Cup nuts and even Aubrey Marcus who I know is in Austin
He's been talking with Dr. Zack Bush about how his friend went to live with the Sanbia tribe in New Guinea
And they stripped him down on the first day and they cupped his nuts and they said I see you brother
Oh, wow, and it wasn't like oh am I gay and my straight
I call it gay panic this fear that you might just be a little bit gay
Well, guess what everybody is just a little bit gay. This is Aubrey Marcus saying I'm quoting him
I don't care if you're 18% gay or 5% gay, but nobody's under, you know, 3% gay. Yep
Yeah, something like that up there. So I was got a little something and what about what about the samurai's sucking each other's nipples
Yes, this one. Yeah, that's why that is actually
very very sucking each other's nipples. How did you hear about this one? Yeah, that's wild. That is actually very, very authentically documented in the ancient Irish kings.
The ancient Irish kings, when they became king in their 20s,
would ritualistically have their nipples sucked by the other males of the clan
to kind of symbolize their submission to the king.
Now, if he fucked up,
because in those times they believed
that famine was caused by the king,
they would cut off his nipples
and kill him and throw him in a bog.
So they're finding all these what we call bog bodies
of these kings and they know they were kings
because they've got a wall of this jewelry,
but they're naked and their nipples are chopped off.
Wow. Like tons of these bog bodies all over Ireland. They were kings because they've got a wall of this jewelry, but they're naked. Yeah, and their nipples are chopped off Wow
Like tons of these bog bodies all over Ireland and this stuff as well is documented
It just feels like yeah, it feels so weird, right? It feels weird also feels like that information is
Only to some like is gathered by someone like you who does like a deep study
Yeah, I feel like most people don't actually know anything about that. It's not common knowledge.
It's not common knowledge.
We don't learn it in social studies.
Yeah.
Which we should.
If we had learned that in social studies, I would have gotten way better grades.
It would be so much more interesting.
It would be.
It really would be.
And you know, you were talking about how your pussy got blown out.
Yeah, let's talk about my pussy.
And I just love talk.
Because I focus on men's work.
Yeah.
But a lot of people online are like, can you talk more about the women's lineages?
I mean, I'd like that.
Right? So we can touch on that.
This is what we call the jade egg.
Okay.
And when you said your pussy had blown out
from the big heads of your sons.
Well, look at this noodle right here.
Right, it's genetic.
Yeah.
So what you can do,
and I'm glad by the way that you didn't have a C-section
because that means your sons got a nice gulp
of your pussy bacteria.
Yeah.
Which means that their balls will develop better. I think their balls have developed nicely.
Nice. And I had a lot of red meat when I was pregnant
with both of them. Good.
And I encourage that masculine behavior. Yes.
I encourage them to do things. What does the jade egg do?
Well, first I want to quickly say the pussy bacteria, there's a specific strain they've
found called L-rutori, L-dot-r-e-u-t-e-r-i.
And when the baby gets a gulp of that pussy bacteria
on his way out, it's been shown in preclinical trials
to help to grow the balls.
Interesting.
Yeah, so if you want bigger balls, eat some pussy.
Eat some.
Wow.
I went to the drugstore and I was looking for it.
Can I have some L-ruteri?
Because I want to grow my balls.
I don't have any pussy to eat right now.
Yeah.
And the lady's like, we normally give that to kids for colic. Why do you want that? And I was likeai, because I want to grow my balls. I don't have any pussy to eat right now. And the lady's like,
we normally give that to kids for colic.
Why do you want that?
And I was like, do you really want to know?
And she had like an intern,
like, you know, an 18 year old intern.
I was like, oh, she's like, please tell me.
I was like, because I want to grow my balls.
She's like, oh my goodness, okay, just buy it.
Just go.
But they found babies with colic
can really benefit from that El Ruderai,
which makes sense because a lot of babies
who've been C-section didn't get the gulp.
Oh, yeah.
So they need that pussy-buncher.
Our babies didn't have colic.
They were not colicky children.
Good.
So they got a big gulp of my juices.
A big gulp of your juices.
Yeah.
So this is basically, you can have it in the jade,
but I thought black obsidian would be better for you.
I like that one, yeah.
It's good for shadow work.
It's good for self-love.
I love that.
If there's any imprints in your vagina,
this can help to just pull them right out.
Cool.
You just put it in your vagina and then you...
That way with the pointy end up?
Yeah, and I attached some dental floss.
You basically just say,
soul, I want you to remove any imprints
and speak in the second person
because that's how we're trained as kids.
Like, you've been bad.
Christine has been bad.
You hear it that way.
Soul.
I want you to remove any imprints from your pussy and anus out your mouth through sound
and breath for the next 10 minutes.
Okay.
And who knows what will happen.
You might try.
10 minutes I have to hold that in there?
Yes.
I have to squeeze it for 10 minutes?
Yeah.
Okay.
Doing squeezing exercises.
Yeah.
I probably won't have to because I can hold a tampon in there without squeezing.
Okay.
Is it quite loose? No, I mean, I could probably hold that in.
Yeah. I'll try it. When we try right now.
I didn't know.
This is really cool.
This is amazing. Thank you.
I will obviously wash this before I watch it.
Stereo. Thanks for that.
Yeah. Thank you.
I know what I'm doing tonight.
I have more questions.
One more thing for you. This is for you.
Oh, shit. So this is what we call humic and fulvic acid biomedic. That's very welcome. I know what I'm doing tonight. I have more questions. One more thing for you. This is for you.
Oh, shit.
So this is what we call humic and fulvic acid, biomedic.
I work for a superfoods company, Shameless Promotion, use my code, UrbanYogi.
But it's been actually, they studied American males, aged 20 to 65, for eight weeks, six
or eight weeks.
They had them, they wanted really fat American men who were drinking lots of beer.
They said, just keep doing that, but take two of these a day.
They monitored the level of glyphosate, which is a harmful pesticide in your gut.
It removed 74 or 75% of the glyphosate in their guts on average within six to eight weeks.
Is this for my guts?
Yes.
I believe that that will help men
be able to control their dicks and balls better
to feel like when you focus on your nuts,
when you focus on your pussy,
what do you feel in this now moment?
I mean, I feel them, you know, I feel.
Yeah, I love them.
Do you feel like a tingle?
A little tingle, yeah.
Like a weightiness of your sack? Yeah, a little bit and your pussy lips feel yeah present vibrant alive full of life
Yeah, I feel like you guys are pretty advanced sexually. So that's good. So a lot of men cannot feel their balls
Really? So I say super foods semen retention and sex kung fu to help reappropriate your ability to literally mix the blood and the chi
in your balls.
They're your engines of vitality, your ovaries.
Right, so your ovaries would be kind of there.
And we all start as female,
the lupra and the womb,
the ovaries drop down through the influence of testosterone. Yeah.
The, you know, on your scrotum and your penis, there's that line.
Yes.
That's where the labial folds fuse together to turn into the scrotum.
And the influence of testosterone cause your clitoris to turn into your penis.
So I believe that if we can detoxify from these feminizing pesticides, it can help us
to become even more the way God wants us to
be.
Wow, thank you so much for this.
You're very welcome.
It's very nice of you.
You take two a day.
Two a day.
Okay, a couple of things I want to ask about.
So I feel like in the last decade, we heard a lot about it, but with the advent of social
media access to seeing things, you see so many more people talk about, you actually get to
see them talk about and partake in urine therapy stuff.
And so like you know some people rub it on wounds or they take they bathe in it or they gargle.
Shoot it off their ass.
Yeah.
Ferment it in their closet.
I know a guy who shoots it right up.
But so we've seen videos of you doing the you know urinating drinking it.
Are there real health because one of the things we talked about before
and even in person is how great your skin looks.
Is that a reason why you think?
Well, I love shea butter.
That's like the one beauty product I use is I just love.
A beer too. Look, Jesus Christ.
Thank you.
I started trimming it myself because it was like 50 bucks every few weeks.
But it's so rich.
Thank you.
Yeah, I mean.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
Is the year, is urine a part of why this is why your skin is well?
My mentor Troy Casey, he's about what is he now 58 or almost?
He's approaching 60.
And so he and he left LA as well.
I think he's in Arizona now.
So he is just all about urine therapy.
He calls it Shivamboo.
Shivamboo.
And when I traveled to India.
You're Orin.
Is that what you call it?
Orin, you could call it. Yeah. When I traveled to India. You're Oran, is that what you call it? You're Oran, you could call it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I traveled to India a few years ago to study yoga,
I was surprised that urine therapy was a part of yoga.
And I was reading the half of yoga padipaka,
which is like the 5,000 year old conglomeration of yoga teachings.
Half of it was not even yoga poses.
It was like, drink your pee.
When you poo, stick your finger up your anus,
and then swirl it nine times to help the poo come out.
Like it was all of these things that I thought,
well, this isn't Lululemon yoga.
It's a little excessive.
Yeah, so for me, I think it's part of it,
but I can recommend people go onto YouTube,
type in TEDxTalks urine therapy.
There's this dude who's gone really deep into the science.
There's certain things like urea and urine,
which is actually in certain beauty products.
So they've isolated it and synthesized
because you cannot patent a natural substance.
Okay.
Right?
So the only way to make money off of it
and make it legitimate in the matrix is to synthesize it.
I think 45% of all mainstream pharmaceuticals
get their impetus for rainforest plants.
But you can't patent the plant,
you gotta synthesize it to make money off of it.
So they're never gonna promote things like
natural health or urine therapy.
Now, I'm not a doctor, right?
My dad's a doctor.
He would never advocate urine therapy.
But for me, the reason why I do it
is just a little bit of urine in the morning, not every day,
but just when I feel called to do it.
And you can just use a homeopathic dose,
just piss on your finger and just do that.
If it freaks you out, just try that.
Now I do like half a cup and I just drink it
and it's like biofeedback.
It's like, ooh, I might have had a bit too much ice cream
last night, you know? And you bit too much ice cream last night.
Uh-huh. And you taste that in the urine.
Yeah. You can taste the sweetness or something.
You can taste kind of like a slightly, I kind of just a little bit gluttonous last night.
I'm willing to try that. I think you should.
It helps you stay on the straight and narrow, right?
Now, what about the jizz? Because you also did it.
Yes. There's a jizz. A little bit of pre-cum can sometimes
be in it. But you did a straight jizz from the source.
Oh yes, and I mixed it with cherry juice.
Okay, we need to start from the very beginning.
How do we start this practice?
Yeah, and what is it?
Is that a self, just a self-acceptance thing,
or is there actually?
Of the piss drinking?
No, no, the cum eating.
The cum eating.
Okay, so when was the first time I did that?
Okay, so I remember, I was like 12 or 13, and it was the first ejaculation I ever had, so I remember I was like 12 or 13
and it was the first ejaculation I ever had.
Do you remember your first ejaculation?
Oof, man, the first one.
I was masturbating really young.
Like how young?
Probably six.
Okay, I used to masturbate with my male
and female friends when I was like three, so I get it.
Three?
Oh yeah.
Wow.
We just get naked.
I was always-
I call the clitoris the pick pick. Oh, wow. I don't know why, I wanna call it the pick naked. I was always called the clitoris the pickpick. Oh, wow.
I want to call the pickpick. I was like, can I see your pickpick?
No, well, yeah, I was alone.
But then I don't think I actually produced a jackalot into probably like 10 or 11, something like that.
Yes, that's that's normal.
OK. So I, I too was in that same kind of boat.
And I remember I was rubbing my lingam, which means pillar of light.
I love that. You know, in our culture is called the was rubbing my lingam, which means pillar of light. I love that.
You know, in our culture it's called the junk.
No, no, no, words are spells.
Let's call it our sex palace.
I was rubbing my sperm palace against my sheets
when I was like 12 or 13.
And all of a sudden, rub.
Oh, that feels good.
Rub, rub, rub.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, and but then I thought, oh shit, I just pissed the bed.
Right.
But then I smelled it and I thought.
That's not piss.
That's not piss.
And it almost, it was this weird kind of mushroomy smell.
And I thought, interesting, the penis looks like a mushroom.
And most of the straight men into my work, most men would identify as straight who do
my work, have done mushroom journeys.
So there's something about the mushroom unlocking the wisdom of the bro bonding and the semen eating and all of these technologies
that basically boost up my, I'll speak for myself, my self-approval and self-acceptance.
And it makes me cry because my
cousin Jesse Blunderfield, died of a coke overdose because they're mixing fentanyl with a cocaine in Canada, probably here too. And
I remember I was working on an album, I was doing Wild Horses Covered by the Rolling Stones,
and it turns out a week before he died, he like oh my cousin is is doing a Rolling Stones cover
this is my favorite song and then when I was going to get the rights at the um
at the freaking uh post office it turns out his best friend since childhood was right behind me
and he's like are you Will Blunderfield because he could see Will Blunderfield Rolling Stones
Wild Horses and so the reason why I'm so passionate about what I do is like so many people have died over the last several years from the opioid crisis.
We could just be you know drinking our piss, doing breath work, slapping our
nuts, and eating superfoods, and we could break free. I know like I know like I
know so many men could break free of these low vibrational addictions because
let's face it if you're an addict and I think you might have some addictive tendencies like me, we're always going to be addicts.
So for us, it's about getting addicted to the right things.
That's a good point.
Substitute Coke for Kundalini Yoga.
Russell Brown calls it the cocaine of yoga.
I agree.
I did some Kundalini Yoga this morning by the water.
What's Kundalini Yoga?
Kundalini Yoga.
So basically it's like a lot of chanting and rapid breath work.
We have something called ego modifier because you need ego in this life to survive.
Yeah.
You, uh, when the ego is balanced, it's like the glue that keeps your soul and
your body.
So we have like the Kundalini pose that goes like this.
You're pumping your navel in and out.
And then you do that for like three minutes. Inhale.
Suspend your breath. Squeeze your anus.
Sex organ. Naval point.
Roll your eyes up and feel a connection from your nuts to crown.
And I can just hear the traditional Kundalini yogis just being like,
oh my god, he's bastardizing. Well, you know what? I'm speaking my truth.
And Yogi Bhajan said, just be you.
Exhale. Ha! They kicked me out of their community for teaching naked. But then in 2020, it turns out Yogi Bajan said, just be you. Exhale, ha, they kicked me out of their community for teaching naked.
But then in 2020, it turns out Yogi Bajan had basically doing sexual misconduct with women
in the community. He's long gone now. But they actually reached out to me at that point and
they said, we're sorry, like, you know, could we talk? And they ended up giving me my license back.
Oh, that's good.
Because I explained to them, I them, it's not smut,
it's like, do you really think that people
were wearing Lululemon and white robes
doing yoga 5,000 years ago?
No, they were naked.
They were naked, for sure.
Yeah, and it's not just India,
like our ancestors in Europe were doing
forms of naked exercise as well.
Oh, for sure.
I wanna ask you about, so-
I think it should be done.
You can eat cum from the source,
but like, do you ever do like a cum quiche like can you make other I made a cum?
What's it called come creme brulee come creme caramel really so I wanted to see if I could
Put my come into a recipe in in a really yummy way
And so I made myself a creme caramel and it was it just tingles my balls
But don't you worry that cooking it will cook out the goodness in the protein.
You put it in at the end.
Oh, smart.
Yeah, you don't want to cook it too long, low temperatures.
Right.
You're right, you can bastardize the good juju.
You don't want to cook out the stuff.
Yeah.
One of the guys, I was fast because obviously you've done a lot of work, you've worked a
lot of people.
One of our favorites who we have,
we've never, we actually talked to about flying out here,
but it was a whole thing, hasn't able to work out,
is that you have done work with Montagcia.
He's amazing.
He's like 90.
Now you get the penis out.
You pull the skin, a lot of people,
they never circumcise, so they have the skin.
So you pull the skin and you get the oil in the hand
and you rub, hand go like this, You rub, rub, rub, rub, especially on the glampiness. Rub them. It's the mushroom.
Fifty times. Okay. Because you make them strong and not sensitive. Exactly. Do you do this practice?
Did you do this? Yes. Now I don't do it 50 times every direction every day. I'll do it 11 times if I'm pressed for time.
But I do try to squeeze and release my anus at least 300 times a day.
Because if you have a loose anus, he says that you leak out the best of the best energy
of your organs right through your anus.
So if you're doing anal sex, you should always squeeze and release your anus after just to
reappropriate its athleticism. My teacher says, uh, no asshole, no holy hole.
Because when you can, all you really need to get high, you don't need coke,
you don't need drugs, you don't need alcohol. You just need a rectum and a third
eye. You do your breath of fire, for example,
feel your anus, feel your third eye, inhale,
squeeze that beautiful anal ring and feel it connected with your nuts, your anus, and
your third eye, which is basically your pineal gland in the center of the brain at the apex
of the ear slightly to the back.
Amazing.
No asshole, no holy hole.
If you take away one thing from today's interview, everybody, no asshole, no holy hole.
Thank you, Montauk Chia.
And also, you say you might stroke your
hog like what 11 times and that just that just like helps you yes become less sensitive or you
know control your your your it make it longer make it longer and if you're intact are you intact
or circumcised most Americans are circumcised circumcised So if you're intact, a lot of more Canadians for whatever reason
are intact, to pull back the foreskin and then kind of do that milking, not only will
it make your penis longer, thicker and more vascular, it will kind of help you, because
it's very sensitive when it's intact, it will help you be able to manage that sensitivity
where you're not like just quickly prematurely ejaculating with a woman or another man.
Okay.
Gives you more control.
And how do you feel about a filler injections in the penis?
I watched a bit of that interview with that, that dude you had.
I don't think it's really necessary.
I feel like we were going to do like a company trip to get injections.
Like the whole crew.
Just come up to Canada.
We'll get naked in nature and we'll stroke our cocks together.
It's cheaper. That's true.
It's easier. She's Canadian.
You can come up, dual citizen.
I'd love to. Yeah.
I wish I had a dint of stroke.
I mean, what can I do?
You could hang something from your pussy egg
while we do it, come into a horse stance,
hang a chandelier.
I've seen women hang weights.
Yeah. Hang a surfboard between your legs.
While we stroke our dicks. Yeah, while we stroke the cocks. And I've seen women hang weights, hang a surfboard between your legs. While we stroke our dicks.
Yeah, while we stroke the cocks.
And I've done that.
I've taught coed workshops and it's been beautiful.
And I only ever teach the coed workshop with a female taunter teacher.
So it's balanced.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so cool.
Yeah, it'll be fun.
Wow, that would be cool.
Yeah.
You can practice over the next few months.
And if you feel called, come up to Canada.
We'll go to Lynn Valley.
If all the guys want to come, do something like that. Yeah, do a group morale boosting trip. Yeah, by the way, I love your pearls. I was admiring your I thought I want some of those
Yeah, yeah, you're bringing it back. That was the girl up front. It was really as you just put them on. Oh, it looks so good on you
Oh, I fucking love it. It looks great on him. He's stylish
He's he actually was interested in the workshops too.
Yeah, you wouldn't think it would work, but it works.
So, nice style choice.
Awesome, brother.
Yeah, cheers.
Yeah, that's amazing. So you've done work with him.
Did you also do...
Yeah, we're huge fans of him.
Sorry. This...
Trying to get this thing to... Oh yeah, here we go.
It's Tony... No.
Tony Casey?
Troy. Sorry. Troy.
Yeah, so Troy.
Troy, this is for people that we've played. Awesome. Troy. Yeah, so Troy this for people that we played. Oh
He's got a nice hairy penis. Yeah. Yeah, we got naked-ended butthole sunning in Venice a few years ago
Yeah
This penis is hairy though
It's very hairy which is I think good because in Chinese medicine the penis and the ball hair is the extra bravery energy of the lungs
You need more bravery energy grow out your pussy and ball hair
So should is that say are you is there something bad about trimming the area because a lot people can
For example, if you're doing filet show sometimes that gets stuck in the teeth
Sure, but I can really recommend just try growing it out. Grow it out. Just feel it. Now, well, a lot of Asian guys we've seen are into ball slabs
and like the monks will kick themselves in the, have be kicked in the, in the junk.
Yes. What is that about? What is that? What is that all about?
The Taoist monks had to be really, really good warriors. They weren't just sitting and meditating all day.
Which is why I love this lineage. Pull this down again because we don't want to cover your face.
Oh, thank you. No, thank you. There you go. I love this lineage because it's a householder's lineage
It's not let's just atrophy our legs and sit cross-legged for the rest of our lives and be vegan
It's like let's be in the world. Let's actually grow our
propensity to be good warriors because if you're not a warrior you become a warrior and
So they would kick each other in the balls. So incoming invaders, for example,
the Chinese have pillaged the Tibetans for ages
and they weren't doing this.
And they're just constantly sending love and compassion,
just sugarcoating their primal rage.
And they all get diabetes.
They're literally sugarcoating their rage.
So in ancient China, they would slap each other's nuts.
I've seen videos where one of the monks
gets on two kind of elevated platforms
and he literally swings a swing set from his genitals
with his Taoist bros being swung.
Wow.
It's bonding.
I've seen them pull cars with their genitals.
Incredible.
It's amazing.
So it was actually a way to get a full body strengthening to be the ultimate Taoist monk
warrior.
These guys are the shit.
I kind of like that because it is a nature of man to beat the fuck out of something,
to conquer something.
Yes, we need to.
And that's so true that I think it was Dave, I've heard David Goggins say, men become
warriors, women become warriors.
That can happen.
It's a feminine trait to be a warrior.
There's not very many men left because of all the chemicalization.
So we're all kind of becoming pinched off, chemicalized women, basically.
I believe that too.
Superfood, semen retention, sex kung fu to get back on track.
Semen retention is a good one.
Hold in your seat.
Semen retention.
How long should you hold it for?
Try to eject your, you said you're 40 what?
34.
Yeah, so in the Dow we say when you're at that age, like twice a month would be good.
How long is he supposed to hold on to it for?
So try to hold in your semen and just come once every two weeks basically.
Oh, that's not going to happen in our house.
Well I can teach you.
No way, no thanks Tom, thanks.
I'll send you some of my tutorial videos. Yeah. And then you can practice with
Christina. And you can do some of those where you don't ejaculate, right? That's the whole
practice. Yeah, that's fun. And then you should do that. Yeah, you practice on yourself. So do you
like to choke the chicken? Yeah, that's great. Yeah. I wax my carrot. Yeah. I love that. Yeah.
So basically, think of it as- But less, much less than I used to good yeah in moderation
And I want you to think of your your master because masturbation is a Victorian term which means self-pollution
So let's think of it as solo we call it solo cultivation
Montaq Chia calls it solar or self cultivation think of it as like
Training ground when you're self-pleasuring for the more advanced practice of making love with your wife.
Oh, wow.
We call this dual cultivation.
Yes.
That's really nice.
Right, so you're strengthening your pussy with the jade egg.
Yes.
Hanging things.
I am doing it right now.
You're stroking your manhood
with like a bit of coconut oil and natural oil.
Nice.
Right, play with your balls.
Because the balls relate to the entire endocrine system.
And basically, I mean, there's other things called the juicer.
You juice your cock.
How much time should I put into this daily?
20 minutes.
20 minutes a day.
Yeah, and you can do what we call the core four
to warm up, so do a bit of breath work.
Shake, shake, shake, shake, shake.
You can also do some of the slapping while you're shaking.
Spinal cord breathing.
You're in a horse stance, a nice bent knee stance,
which also releases testosterone because you're working the biggest muscles in your body., a nice bent knee stance, which also releases testosterone because
you're working the biggest muscles in your body.
And then last but not least, what we call the testicle breathing.
So basically massage your balls every morning in the shower.
Do you ever have cold shower?
I do a cold plunge.
Good.
Yeah.
So that strengthens the nervous system so you can channelize more love and sexual energy.
So you massage your balls twice your age and you can massage your ovaries.
Twice your age?
Twice your age, every morning in the shower.
Okay.
Turn the shower cold and just smile into your,
oh, we call them the dragon pearls.
And we call your penis the Jade stock
or the lingam pillar of light.
What do your testes feel like?
What do your ovaries feel like right now, brothers and sisters?
I mean, I'm tingling.
Me too.
Good.
Smile into that feeling, turning it into joy.
And then inhale, let your sac drop.
So this is more for the male teachings, because obviously that's what I focus on most.
Inhale the sac drops, inhale the ovaries swell.
And then exhale, pull your sac up towards your body and spiral the energy up the back
down the front of each testicle.
Feels so good.
That does feel good.
Right?
Yeah.
And what you'll find is through the testiculum, our testicles will sink up in a
bit of the ovarian energy too, cause sex is meant to be balancing.
So it doesn't have to be a male and a female.
It could be a male and another male with a divine feminine essence, right? Because
attraction is based in polarity. I work mostly with men who are into women. So my goal is to help
shunt the men more into their divine masculine. So they become more attractive to and attracted to
very highly feminine beings, which tend to be females. There's another thing that can happen.
Montaiglia says when two people
with a divine masculine essence come together,
sexually it's like two rocks charging
to create even more sun energy,
even more yang energy,
or yang as it's actually pronounced.
Wow.
Yeah, so there's different dynamics,
but generally wanna balance the male and female
through the sexual experience.
Do you think of yourself then as like an incredible lover?
Do you feel like you're very, you know, highly attuned to?
Well, I've been celibate for three years.
Really?
Yeah, because I realized I was addicted to ejaculation
and I was addicted to looking for love
in all the wrong places, right?
So going on to Tinder and just spending too much time
swiping, I wasn't even really having that much intimacy.
It was just swipe, swipe, swipe.
So I thought, okay, superfood,
semen retention, sex kung fu.
By the way, this is not alcohol.
I had my let, cause it does,
I thought, are they drinking beer every time they do the,
but no.
So I thought, you know, I need to stop drinking.
So May 3rd, 2020, I had my last drink
and it was the best choice of my life because it helped me think more clearly
and it helped to develop what we call the self-sensory system.
So your subtlety, drugs and alcohol kind of numb you and then you don't have the subtlety
and sensitivity of your self-sensory system to really enjoy these technologies.
So does your celibacy extend to even self-release or are you allowed to release yourself?
I'm allowed to release myself. I usually release once or twice a month.
Okay.
But more often than not, when I'm doing my personal practice, I'm training my ability to
master that ability to separate orgasm from ejaculation.
Yes.
So that we can choose when we want to ejaculate.
Like I was like, should I ejaculate before this podcast?
So about three or four days ago I came.
I didn't come like right in the bathroom.
Oh, I got you.
But I just thought, okay, because I've been holding in
for about a month and I thought, okay,
I've got a lot of ball energy.
I'm going to be flying.
I do notice that like, so I used to-
It would be too much in that cramped paint, you know?
I used to just like jack all the time.
And then I noticed that like, sometimes, you know,
I'm on the road and I'm in a hotel room.
And that was when you kind of go, okay.
And then I noticed that when I retain
for the weekend of shows,
I just do feel more energized.
Thanks for being here.
Hi Abra.
Hi Abra.
Thanks, bro.
Thank you.
And then he brings home that energy to me.
It's different for women, by the way.
Yes.
Women are sexually superior to men, Montaukchia says.
And so we need to train and we need to hold in our seed
more often than not, more often than the average bear.
So that's really good that you realize
that there is an energetic difference.
A lot of wrestlers do that too.
I wanna ask you this,
because you mentioned your father's a doctor.
Yes.
So what are your parents?
They're the best.
And they-
Makes you wanna cry.
Because since 2020, our relationship has only gotten
like immensely better
It was never really bad, but like we've just found so much common ground
What do they think of like your practice and what you do and all that?
They're very conservative and so we focus more on yummy recipes. Oh, I got you
You know, I cook you know, I don't cook with calm. Yeah, obviously. Yeah, that'd be right
I just we just I I make bread for them and you know, we hang out a lot usually also in Yeah, they'd be right. I just we just I I make bread for them. Oh, nice. You know, we hang out a lot usually
also in
Yeah, they're Vancouver nice and
We talk more about like running like I'm an ultra marathon runner. Are you really? Yes
You like the hundred mile runs and everything 50k 50. That's kind of my yeah
I do I do I wear these things
In in miles. What does that work out to?
That would be about what, 30 miles?
Shit. Wow.
Because a marathon is 26.2.
I've done four marathons in my Earth Runners,
which are earthrunners.com.
This guy wears them too.
My buddy Mick, who's backstage, wears them too.
They're really good because they've got a grounding cord.
They've got a grounding piece, a copper piece
that threads silver into the laces.
So it's like your barefoot.
Got you.
So then you don't step on glass or something.
How often so do you run every day?
I run, well, for the month of January
to train for this ultra marathon in May,
I ran, I think, 420 kilometers total.
Wow.
And I really like to go from my place downtown Vancouver and just run
up. Sometimes I'll run up and then do the grouse grind. Like it's, it seems crazy.
You ever do a 5K? But since I've been holding in my semen it's so much easier.
Yes. You ever do a 5K? Oh, it's kind of boring. But I think it's good and for anybody wanting to do barefoot,
start with 5K. Yeah. Right? I had to start with very small distances because our feet
had been atrophied in these foot coffins and mainstream shoes. You don't want to just go from zero to hero right away.
No. Yeah. Yeah. We're doing a 5k in May. Good for you guys. Is it like the Austin 5k?
No, it's going to, it's, we're actually having a bunch of, I don't think we've announced the
location yet, but it's one that we're putting on that a lot of comedians are going to go participate
in. Good for you. Yeah, it'd be good.
Okay, look, where can people find you?
Like, I mean, first of all,
what's your Instagram handle?
We'll put it in the description.
I'm on my 10th account.
10th?
Yes, they, 10.
I think, cause I talk about like things that,
you know, are a little bit hot button,
but I've kind of learned, right?
So x.com, aka Twitter, is really good for just being
balls the wall, literally my balls are out.
My Venus is out.
Whereas Not Will Blunderfield is a little bit tamer.
So if you don't like full on nudity,
follow Not Will Blunderfield on Instagram.
Not Will Blunderfield on Instagram.
And then on Twitter.
Twitter, it's a W Blunderfield.
And that's only for Not Safe For Work.
Okay, so that's if you wanna see the real work, the whole work being done.
Yeah. And you can join my only fans.
Like if you want to do a deeper dive, great.
Like I do basically little clips on Twitter.
And then if you want to actually learn all the technologies, go to my only fans,
which is it's onlyfans.com slash will Blunderfield.
And then I have Manhood Academy.
Just go to will Blunderfield.ca. And it's my full online school. Well, there you go. Well, sorry, willblunderfield. And then I have manhoodacademy. Just go to willblunderfield.ca.
And it's my full online school.
Well, there you go.
Will, sorry, willblunderfield.ca.
Yeah.com, somebody's trying to pretend to be me.
So it's.ca.
.ca, that's important.
So silly.
Canadian rep only.
So, yeah, this is like so fascinating.
I love that you're Canadian, by the way.
I didn't know that.
I'm proud.
I'm working on getting on.
I want to do more stuff in Canada because I really do enjoy going there. It's so fun.
It's beautiful.
Well, I'll be up there. You got to come when I do.
I would love to. I actually live like right next door to Malkin Bowl where you're going to be performing.
You got to come out, man.
So I have to come.
Perfect. Maybe do some cupping.
We'll set it up.
We'll set it up.
I love that.
We'll do some cupping before the show.
Yeah, we could do breath work before the show. That'd be great.
Oh, it's a cupping.
Yeah, cupping. Yeah, sure. Well, Sarah McLaughlin, she does yoga backstage before the show. Oh, my god. I think if we can do some cupping, that can really help work before the show. That'd be great. Oh, it's a cupping. Yeah, cupping. Well, Sarah McLaughlin, she does yoga backstage
before the show.
Oh, my God.
I think if we can do some cupping,
that can really help to elevate the frequency.
Bobby Lee will be there,
and he'll definitely be into that.
Yes, he seems, I think he would be.
I think he really would.
Yeah, well, thank you for coming.
Thank you so much, Will.
This is such a blast.
Thank you, guys.
Thanks for teaching us so much.
You guys are so sweet.
And you guys know where to go.
Follow Will, and we'll see you soon.
Thank you guys.
Sottin' on.
Namaste.
Welcome back and we are thrilled to bring back
one of the all time greats, one of our all time favorites,
our dear, dear friend who will be launching
a brand new show.
Right here you can see it tonight for the first time.
If you're a channel member, it's called Behind the Jeans.
It's Josh Potter everybody
Who is Randy
You are your back, dude, we're so psyched dude. Thanks for having me back. Behind the jeans. Behind the jeans.
We've missed you, Cockroach.
I've missed y'all.
We missed you a lot. It was fun hanging last night.
Yes, dude.
We've done some dates.
The road's been fun, too, obviously.
Can't wait to go out.
Yep. We have some more dates coming up.
Let's go.
Let's go.
So tell everybody because this, this,
I think this was your idea.
Yeah.
You let us know about, and I was like, this is fucking rad. Yeah, I think this was your idea you let us know about
and I was like this fucking rad. Yeah I pitched this bad boy I there's two
pronged fun for me a the whole thing about behind the jeans is it's kind of
like we talked about the Stern wrap-up show yeah also it's kind of like talk
soup a little bit you know with taking clips from all the your mom's house
universe all the shows and
Dissecting them discussing them
Figuring out some some things maybe that people hadn't thought about and then people in the chat because it's live can interact with me
And give their two sons too. So that part's very fun. So, you know, it'll air every Wednesday. Yes night at
5 p.m. Central. Yes yes right so six Eastern for YouTube channel members
And then the next day it becomes available for everyone. Yes, so if you want to do it live
Yeah, I mean there's so many YouTube channel members already and getting ad-free content already and things so now they get an added show
And they can participate live. That's not a member. Yeah, you can sign up you can sign up
So yeah, I'm super stoked and I think Behind the Jeans is a perfect title for it. And you'll
talk about all the shows so that people know. All the shows, every show in the universe.
Okay, cool, cool. I love this because so many of the topics we can only go into for so long.
Right. On your mom's house. And I often even find myself thinking about things, oh, I wish I had
brought that up and this is a nice way for the fans to engage as well
and get their two cents.
Yeah, if they're like, if you're ever finding yourself
like in your car driving, listening,
and you're yelling at your dashboard about something,
you know, I mean, this is the place to chime in.
Yeah, I love that.
I love that.
You know.
Chime in about us, yell at us.
Sure.
Yeah.
Sure.
I'll field those questions.
I mean, look, as a super fan, I was for many years of the Howard Stern show one thing that always bothered me about the wrap-up show is that I feel like they
weren't talking about Howard and Robin and really not at all, huh? Not they did it. You would think that that would be
One of the big things to talk about. I know and I wanted to know how they felt about stuff
So I'm I'm open to that. I'm excited about it. Here's a good talking point.
Is this crossing a line?
Is this too much?
No.
No.
I walked over here and you were about to say something.
Is that a new shame?
Is that just sampling makeup or is that blackface?
You should know when straws, call the second place.
Let it on how far away.
I think he can see.
I can't tell.
This is so low.
Is that where she lives?
This is so shameful. Why is she so shameful? Why is she even doing that?
Like...
Doesn't that kind of, I mean, that looks to be kind of like a mud mask?
Like, will people do that?
Oh, she could be doing like a clay mask.
Maybe she's saving time.
She's like, you know what, I'm going to apply my mask and then I'm just going to grocery
shop.
What is she applying though?
Is it a mask or is it actual foundation?
She did it in the store though, yes.
Yeah, looks like it.
That's crazy.
Using the makeup samples for,
it says for blackface,
but do you think she's just like?
I think it's actually more egregious
that she used that much makeup in the sample section.
That's like going into Costco
and taking the whole platter of pigs in a blanket
and eating them all.
I think they do like this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This does taste pretty good.
Thank you for that. Yeah, the sample isn't for your entire face
Yeah, I say what annoys me about Sephora. I know you guys don't go in there often
Yeah, what's that? No, but they kind of force the inclusion shit on you when you go in there
They want you to do life. Yeah, like they'll have like a model like you know
They have posters with the girls with the makeup on and like the model will have like a million different skin disorders
And you're like dude the point of makeup is to cover that shit up so you look perfect.
Oh so she has warts and bumps.
Or no alpica or like lump like in perfect skin or like it'll be like a it'll be like
a dude with a beard.
Mmm.
Makeup on and you're like yeah but that's not like how many dudes and beards are in
Sephora buying makeup.
And the ad isn't to like be like hey cover cover that shit up, here's some Sephora.
No, the ad is the bullshit of like you're just beautiful the way you are.
It's like no, no, you're not.
That's why you're in Sephora.
Yeah.
Because you're trying to hide your imperfections.
Yeah, it seems counterintuitive to that marketing.
That's what I'm saying.
And I'm like, I don't want to look like a guy with a beard.
I want to look like the pretty hot model.
Yeah, and if you have, what's alopecia? That's the hair.
Or if you have like rosacea or something, don't you want to conceal that?
Wait, where do I go?
If it'll I go, sorry.
That's what I, the thing Michael Jackson supposedly had.
You have that?
I don't have that yet.
No.
You should get that.
You see what you get from the lago?
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
What would you, yeah, you would turn really white.
Like a Dalmatian.
You look like powder.
That'd be rad.
Avoiding the sun, you know, just like the Koreans.
It's just like the Koreans.
Yeah, it's just like the Koreans, man.
Yeah.
Did they do that for any men's things,
or like they forced this inclusion
when it doesn't make sense in the product?
I'm trying to think.
Well, they're all doing like, I was,
my fucking god, I was at one of the athletic wear stores and they were like,
it had like run ambassador.
I think I sent you a photo.
What's a legless man?
No, it was just a fucking like 300 pound lady.
Yeah.
And you're like.
No, she does.
Well, who better to be a run ambassador than come on.
Cause that's the whole thing that was,
everybody's everything.
You know?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I mean, hey, who, I mean,
if someone should be running, it's that lady, is you should if you're gonna if you got to
give her an ambassador title to an incendiviser yeah that's true that is gotta
give her royalty you gotta give her the princess of running congratulations
you're the senator of running in 295 yeah what is the what's the thing that
meant that they try to make us feel like everybody can participate now?
It's tough. I don't think there's very much men.
No, because the marketing are now like that is considered a certain type of marketing and the marketing like the companies that do
manly shit, like if it's like hunting, they're not interested in me.
It's not inclusive. They're like, you can't do this.
You're a pussy bitch. Get out of here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They can't do this. You fucking pussy bitch. Get out of here. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, they don't do that.
Yeah.
If it is inclusive, it's like a girl's doing it too.
So here you go.
Exactly.
Here's a girl doing it.
Yeah, that's as far as we're gonna go.
Yeah, yeah.
Some girls are capable.
Yeah, Chick did it, so.
Yeah.
Knife companies don't be like, even whoever.
No, they actually don't want you to buy.
They'll be like, don't buy my shit.
Yeah.
You fucking bitch.
I'm gonna kind of respect that, because like, it's fine, it's fine. I don't need to be included in everything. I'm cool
Yeah, there's some brands. I would love to be an endorser. It's the big Bud Light lesson basically. Yes, exactly
They're like don't do that. Yeah, there's some out there that I think I would love to endorse so I could tank the
Marketing, you know, yeah, yeah, just some outdoors business or something. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I have that
Especially if you showed up in your in
your short shorts and your crop top if you did it in that they would be like
hey Montana Knives
you get a cease and desist real quick yeah we don't know this guy he's just
some fucking fruit loop from LA yeah yeah you ever want to whittle your butt plug down?
Find the right shape for you. You know who we haven't heard from in forever. We actually have an update for look at this Yeah, we haven't we haven't seen this guy in forever
What if I broke into your house
Woke you up with a big kiss
into your house, woke you up with a big kiss, gave you a nice hot shower, and made breakfast for you.
That's the break in?
And pampered you all day.
Breaking, breaking and worshipping.
Yeah, breaking and breaking.
Yeah, breaking and breaking.
And gave you a foot rub.
Okay.
And gave you a butt rub.
Oh, nice.
Oh, I like that.
Okay.
And put lotion all over that beautiful body.
Yeah.
What would you do? What would. Yeah. What would you do?
What would you do?
Calm down.
What will you do?
What will you do?
It went from what would you do to what will you do?
What would you do?
That's on the agenda for today.
Is this a...
Well, first of all, it's breaking it anyway.
Yeah, why the breaking in?
Yeah, it's breaking and worshiping.
Can I invite him in?
There's no charges for that.
Yeah.
See, I mean, I would invite a gentleman in to do all these things.
I don't get why he has to, of all the wonderful things he was claiming to do there,
he has to break in to do them.
I mean, get a key.
Get a key.
That's the fetish, maybe.
Is this in the porno world, like breaking in?
Well, you know, he's an aggressive lover.
He's just a big lover.
What will you do?
And interesting, I think he's outdoors a big lover. What will you do? Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha I'm breaking in your fucking house. It's like a real step up.
He's making breakfast though.
It's like, that's a weird one to wake up to.
You're like, was that the door downstairs?
I smell bacon.
It's so weird.
It's also important to remember Bundy started
by just watching porn.
You know?
And Bundy would let him over to his own house.
That was a dommer that would let them at his house.
Oh yeah, his place.
You're just coming over to watch video tapes.
You're just coming over to watch video tapes with me.
I don't think this guy can climb in through the window.
That's tough for him, yeah.
I mean, unless it's a bay window or...
Oh, good news.
We have a second video.
Oh, follow?
Oh yeah, the king wants to eat frosting off your titties.
Oh, yeah.
Let me suck on them nipples.
A lot less flowery narrative with that one.
He just went straight to the point.
I kind of like that he has both sides.
Yeah, there's one's romantic and then he's real horny right now.
Yeah, that first one was a real like romance novel.
And this one, what if I broke the house?
We just got tits and frosting.
Well, that's usually how these guys go. It starts off with a soft pitch and then it becomes aggressive.
Well, you know, just like us, they have to make content every day and some days they just go, God, you know,
I don't got anything in the tank. Nope. I'm gonna lick the frosting of your tits. Good. I did my job for a day.
I did my day, yeah.
Let me suck on them nipples. Yeah.
No shirt on when he's in the cab of the truck there.
So he's on duty.
Yeah, okay.
He can't drive shirtless, no, no.
Damn, that's a shame.
Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
We haven't seen Steve in a while.
Yes, I know.
He looks great.
He actually does.
I think he's lost a few LBs.
Yeah, yeah.
He looks tan, he's out in the sun
No, he looks good. No Kings and Queens talk. I haven't seen him on the talk doing it
Maybe they banned like they flagged all his Queens videos
Yeah, cuz I follow him and I haven't seen any updates of his work. He's evolved. He's out. He's like I don't do that anymore
Yeah, maybe try try googling
Yeah, call me in 2019. Yeah
You're not not a real fan. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, if you're still citing King and Queens
And if you want to buy a shirt, oh, oh
He's still yeah still up. Oh, what's that skull? Let's see the latest that second one looks real good like that
Yes, it's time to wake up put them feet on the ground
Remember no brawl day. Oh, yeah And you and all year come on all year
All year long I's not an X-Source no-go all year. It's all year long. You have a wonderful day.
I got to do a video and if you need anything, you let me know.
I'll let you know.
Get on my page and watch the new video that I got to do.
You'll love it.
That's the one with the tips.
That's the wonderful day and I will see you tonight.
I'm going to try to go live.
Is that like a Fabio guy behind him?
Is that?
Come on in my game.
I kind of think that's how he imagines himself.
Like the guy in the back with the flowing hair. Definitely. Oh my God, that's how he imagines himself. Yeah the guy in the back with the flowing hair
Definitely. Oh my god. That's how I have phantom hair all the time. Yeah, by the way, who announces the video
They're gonna make yeah, it's a teaser. He's a this is just more content
You know hey later on today. There's gonna be a video popping off and where's that video?
Is it gonna be here? Yeah, or is it another place?
The source like when you order the shirt, he's like send Deborah an email
She'll send a message to Rebecca who will tell me.
And then, but you don't pay her.
You pay, just pay me and then tell me the size.
You tell her the address.
And you'll be like, what the fuck?
Oh my God.
What's his next video?
Yeah, what's the big reveal?
There's like
This was he was promoting
Oh, this is a cameo very proud and he can't wait to take you on a nice day that's cool this is
we're talking about he's doing come on all right wow you do have big beautiful mommy milkers Jesus Wow they are nice
I was told they were nice
I don't like the angle of being over
I like the lighting the light it's like he's over me right now I just feel
I can feel the pressure there you go Alex is a real thoughtful boyfriend
Now in this scenario is Alex underneath him also
Okay, what's he busy day today on a new job again, you know, yes, I love your big mommy milk
What woman's like, oh you did it. You booked this video? God, I'm so wet.
You know what I mean?
I can see them. They're like, oh, John Stamos.
Cool, but like, this is going to be booked for me.
Happy Valentine's Day.
Where is he?
He loves you.
This is his bed? It's a nice bed.
Is that the ceiling?
You have a good day.
No, he got some money, dude.
That looks good.
That's a hell of a ceiling.
I love you, my quiff.
Okay.
We're good.
That's a hell of a ceiling.
He's looking over us.
We're supposed to be waking up.
The point of view.
It's a great directorial.
But I don't think that's what he was promoting.
I think he was promoting something entirely different.
There'll be a new video up.
This is like a...
Oh, no.
Yeah, that was just a random video
What's that second one?
Continuing all year
All right, my queen
Yes, you have a wonderful day. I gotta do a video and
you need anything. Let me know. This is different. Yeah.
This is identical. Watch the new video that I gotta do. Yeah.
You'll love it. There's a lot more energy. This one. Yeah.
All right. No idea. No broad day all year. Now we're doing
this morning. Time to put them feet on the ground and take off
And make beautiful eyes and let's go
Remember no, bro. I'm gonna keep walking there today
Tell everybody that they matter and that you love them. Oh, so does he does this try to help anyway you can okay?
I think we're good. Thank you. No broad a it's all. All year. I had no idea. I have not been celebrating.
I've been really like, God, what a terrible Christian I am.
Yeah, there's it's it's no broad every.
Yeah, the real Christian celebrate no broad day all year.
Have you know, do you know that we have?
We've discovered this whole lane of people who?
Vacation in undesirable places. Oh, I saw the Disney people. Yeah, was that was that
That's kind of like just weird adults, but the these are people who go to like North Korea. Oh
Syria because I like vacationing in America, I'll go to like Fargo.
Really?
Yeah, like random.
Like if I find a hotel that I like or something.
And just kick it there for a week?
Yes.
Really?
Because nobody goes there.
It's fun.
Oh, that's kind of nice.
And there's like a nice restaurant or something.
And then you'll spend a whole like just alone time?
Just like a weekend or whatever.
Yeah.
Well, this is a little different.
This is like.
This is like North Korea.
Yeah.
Fargo.
Why don't you check out Iraq?
This is our first day as Americans visiting Iraq. Our flight landed in Baghdad at 5 a.m.
and yesterday was always a bit of apprehension arriving to certain countries.
Big welcome to Iraq from the immigration officer and fell safe the entire time.
She's blonde too. Fuck yeah.
We started with this delicious donut-like pastry for breakfast before exchanging money
since international cards
don't work in Iraq.
And we visited so many incredible historic sites,
like one of the oldest universities in the world.
Felt like we had the entire place
for ourselves at some point.
I wonder why.
I wonder why.
It's just one of the oldest universities in the world.
It hasn't been attended in 20 years.
Stubford food voted down the Tigris River,
Stubford Juice, visited my personal favorite,
The Market, drank tea at this 100-year-old cafe down the Tigris River, stopped for juice, visited my personal favorite, the market,
drank tea at this 100 year old cafe whose owner lost his four sons in an explosion that
happened on this street, met some of the friendiest people and took lots of selfies, stopped
for more food, visited a monument that Saddam had built and as if we hadn't eaten enough
food, we were then told it was time for dinner.
Follow along to see more of what it's like
to visit Europe.
I mean, I thought I was gonna end with her being beheaded.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, a blonde woman.
It's so dangerous.
Like that, you gotta tie that hair back later.
Can I tell you something, Josh?
It's so upsetting how happy they look
in this final frame.
I hate it.
I mean, they died, right?
When I went to the Middle East,
the first time I dyed my hair brown, remember?
Yeah.
Because I was a blondie and yeah
Because that you just stand out. Yeah, and they want to take pictures. They were like my cousin we went to
Morocco and
She like put her hair in a she put like a whatever they call it a thing around her head. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, kind of but like really just a rag or whatever
Wrap her head up in it and then you know because people were coming up to her like she was a super model.
Yeah. They were like, oh my God, oh my God.
I'm like, you're gonna get fucking.
Yeah. Too much attention here.
Yeah. Tucking. Tucking.
But at least she's covered her arms and legs,
which is smart because sometimes, you know,
women don't want to do that when they go to these places.
Yeah. She really covered up.
She really wears the booty shorts. I'd be a cool baby.
I got to see that one.
How much does this cost to like the whole trip?
How do you get to back? Yeah, I mean that is a lot of flay overside imagine you're going you got to go to a few dicey airports
Why you going on Qatar Airways a lot of flying
It's a lot of flying. Look at the how many stops is it?
Why?
It's 29 hours.
That's crazy.
It's a lot of flying.
Five days later.
The last plane is pulled by a donkey.
Wait, does LAX connect there?
It's a direct from LAX.
That'd be crazy.
That's insane.
I'd go right now for the show.
No. Austin. Yeah. I'd go right now for the show. No.
Austin, it says to stop. Wait. Yeah. There's no there's no there's no direct to Baghdad. And if there is that's Qatar
goes like LAX to Qatar. Ah
I think you can go from Qatar to Baghdad. Yeah
Interesting. Yeah, that Sounds great. Taking note.
How would you like to do a show from Baghdad?
That'd be pretty cool.
Can you introduce a segment of your show
where you start going to these places too?
Yes.
I'm like Anthony Bourdain of Danger.
Yeah.
Like how she's surprised that nobody's at the monuments.
Yeah. Nobody's at the monuments.
It's like we have the place to ourselves.
Yeah, I thought this would be high tourism hours.
Yeah.
Not a lot of people checking out Saddam's palaces.
That's what that one guy said, who was in another war zone.
They're like, there's nobody on the roads.
It's totally safe.
Physical.
It was weird when she started saying some,
I forget even what it was, but she was saying some extreme things
in there a little bit.
You know, I thought she was going to come across and she's like, this child was gassed back in the 90s. Yeah, she was saying some extreme things in there a little bit, you know I thought she's gonna come across like this child was gassed
Yes, she was like this we ate here and then we had at this place and the owners four sons were killed in an explosion
Anyway dinner was awesome. Oh boy the great. He's delicious
Bagged it I can't think of a worse place I'd want to go well maybe some of the other
Areas around there. Yeah, they find them these two. Yeah. Oh, it's just these two people
Yeah, there's a few of these crackers. I hope she gets I mean to these awful places
And they think it's charming to be like we're going to North Korea even though we're told not to yeah
Yeah, there's this thing that's really upsetting when somebody goes, but we're going to North Korea even though we're told not to. Yeah, yeah. See, it's not so bad. There's this thing that's really upsetting when somebody goes,
but we're nice that they think that that, you know what I mean?
Like that buys you.
We'll be OK.
Passage, safe passage.
Like we're super nice and we're just open and we want to learn.
They're like, we don't give a fuck if you want to learn about our culture.
Like, you don't give a fuck.
Yeah, I mean, the funny thing is we're just never going to know what happens
until they just stop making videos
Well, there'll be a until there's a new post article like a couple died
I thought your influence her couple was killed in the bag dad yesterday
We'll be like who is that? Oh, it's those two sadly their insides were strewn upon the street anyway
Weather has been out of control the woman was
We don't wanna talk about it.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Airtight.
She didn't have her not have on a bra
because it's no bra day all year.
Dude, I remember being in the Middle East,
the UAE during Ramadan,
and I wanted to eat Chinese food during the day,
and I was in like a nice westernized hotel And they even put up like barriers so that you know, you're not being disrespectful to the religion
Like you have to eat behind barriers that the religious police don't come and arrest you and you're going to fucking
Da-boo-dabby or something. Yeah
That was Dubai, I think I was in yeah, you're going there. You scared. No, that one's actually like he's kind of in the fear
Guys are fine. Oh true. This dumb dumb. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're not going to military. I was okay
Yeah, bro. It's yeah, I'm gonna Saudi Prince. He's got some come fuck my women and ride my trap or whatever
Okay, yeah, yeah, exactly
or whatever, I don't know. Okay, you say so, boss.
Yeah, exactly.
Have you followed any of the,
we've found these outlier influencers
into different fashion and different lanes of life,
that Tony P, are you a Tony P fan?
Ooh, I love Tony P.
Yeah, I got some Tony P stuff here.
Let's go.
This guy.
Wow, look at the edits.
Oh, the jog.
Maybe soup.
He's so adorable.
Dependability.
I thought this was going to be like one of those girls that changes every time they jump or whatever, you know?
Oh, yeah.
That's something I do that.
He looks great.
He really puts it out there that he's usually
like looking for love, right?
It's like, here's what a bachelor does.
Oh.
All the things that, you know.
That's what I'm missing, then, is what I'm facing.
Okay, folks, let's get ready for the day
when you oversleep your alarm.
Oh my goodness.
Since my timeline was shorter than usual,
I dashed to the shower to clean up in under five minutes
by using some morning music as my timer.
I then broke some land speed records in picking out my clothes where I still maintained my commitment
to a vibrant, sophisticated fit. After getting dressed, I realized I needed breakfast and the
clock was ticking. Uh-oh. Could you imagine setting up the camera for all this? No wonder you're late
for everything, you fucking idiot. I mean, stop setting up your camera and shooting all this.
I'd put it up once and I'd be like, all right. Here's my getting out of bed shot. I'd be like the fuck am I doing?
Yeah, it takes a lot. Yeah, that's a lot. So I decided today was a Duncan day and I took out my phone and ordered my usual latte
I mean that's a lot of work to screen grab all this yes
Deliberation a chocolate frosted donut because I thought I deserved a little extra sweetness for the day ahead.
Since I ordered on the Duncan app, there was no need to rush, so I was able to de-stress for a few minutes
and make sure the hair was in tip-top shape before heading out for the day.
Once I arrived at Duncan, my order was right there waiting for me,
and I was able to actually eat breakfast in peace for a few minutes before making it to the office and time for my...
I thought he was late too.
I thought he was late and then he's like,
and then I was fired from my job because I showed up four hours late from editing
this video all morning.
This is by the way...
I'd like to meet a woman but I spend all my time editing these videos so I can't possibly
make a human connection with anybody.
Here's me attempting.
What do you think it is?
I would love to see you and him go out in the town together.
I think that would be a good idea.
Put your fucking phone down.
With his fucking jerk.
I'm trying to do poking here.
Do you see an correspondent looking at us?
No.
That's funny.
Hey, broccoli, that was a good one.
Which side of those blue trousers do you run your massive hog down, Tom?
This is the kind of thing I want on the show when we do behind the jeans.
That ain't the only chocolate hole you slam this morning, is it, Tom?
Yeah.
Daddy Crane got you, dog.
My wife forgot to wake you up when she left.
Sorry, Tom.
Damn. Yeah, this guy gets ladies. He's going to wake you up when she left. Sorry, Tom. Damn.
Yeah, this guy gets ladies, he's gonna put it up.
He's like, and then I did missionary position
and then we switched to doggy
and then she decided to suck my penis dry.
I mean.
God, I hope so.
I have big oocy and I came inside of her.
The oocy really spit all over it.
It was awesome.
That is a man late for work,
ready to accept determination in a vibrant masculine man.
Oh.
Yeah, that is.
Comments are fun.
Yes they are.
God, they're fun.
It is a good time.
Some of the great writers out there.
There's some really fun.
I do love them. I love the comments. Tony P is my Andrew Tate. Yeah. What is this, do you Some of the great writers out there. There's some really fun ones. I do love Tony.
Tony P is my Andrew Tate.
Yeah.
What is this?
Do you guys know what he does for work?
I don't know.
I mean, he's in DC.
It feels like he would be like a whatever,
one of like the not an intern, but whatever's right above that.
Yeah.
Like in some congressional office.
Or it's just one of these dopes that goes to like a we work
and is like, well, I did my emails.
You know, yeah. The we work and is like well, I did my emails You know
They just show up at these offices. They don't really work for anybody. Yeah. No, he dresses too well
He does dress really nice. He's dressed up to brush his teeth for the video. He was brushing his teeth with a tie on
Yeah, he's always really really well dressed. I would put the tie on after yeah
Maybe I should hook chase up with Tony P. You think that could I could have it?
Don't do that to Port Chase.
I like him though, he's sweet. Oh, he's a consultant at a management consulting firm. Oh, that's he that's a fake job.
People do. Yeah, that's not real. Oh, I'm a manager at a consulting firm. That's like when somebody knows I do import-export.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay cool. Yeah, I mean, I mean there's a lot of office jobs where I just go, that's fake, right?
Yeah.
That's not real.
Yeah.
Hello.
What's that?
Like a welder or something, you know, that's
up with the Josh P. Love life.
Oh, you know, we're trying to get out there.
I, you know what I've learned at 38 years old, it took me this long to figure it out.
Getting laid is easy.
Yeah. It's finding a connection with someone that's the hard part. I was 28 years old, it took me this long to figure it out. Getting laid is easy.
It's finding a connection with someone that's the hard part.
Oh, I like this, Josh.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is new for you.
Yeah, it took me this long to figure it out.
Turns out getting laid is the part that I didn't have to worry about.
It's someone tolerating my presence for a long enough time, you know?
Yeah.
Where it could be permanent.
That's real intimacy, actually. Yes, exactly.
Which helps coming.
Yeah, duh.
Look at that.
That's what we figured out folks.
That's what we figured out.
Yes.
Look at that.
Wow, look at that.
Boys in the booth are moot.
They don't do that a lot.
That's really special.
No, they don't do that a lot.
They don't do that a lot.
No, clap, I say.
I thought you meant.
Oh, they come a lot, but they don't clap a lot.
That's exciting, Josh.
Do you know what type of woman you're looking for?
Well, I'd like to get with a warmer lady than my past efforts.
You know, that would be nice.
Someone who's kind.
Someone warm and kind.
Yes.
Kind goes a long way.
Yes, because before, I mean, my dick would get real hard when they were like mean and
icy, but then it turns out it doesn't last.
Now you need a nice person. Yeah. So hey, back to the drawing board.
OK, well, I'm excited.
I'm excited for what the future holds for you.
What about age range?
Oh, boy, it's becoming the bottom is becoming a lot lower.
You know what I mean? Like as I get older. Yeah.
It's just kind of getting the ceilings getting a little close you know yeah how high will you go I've gone pretty high you have
yeah I think I think I date the one time I dated a girl is like 44 when I was
like 30 yeah okay so you're not that that increases your chance of finding a
empathetic young will you go right and I'm saying this as myself included. Yeah.
The older it goes though, we tend to be some discards up here at the Sage range if we're
still not with somebody, you know. So you gotta kind of, sometimes you get a younger one.
Yeah, but do you want children and a family and stuff?
Kind of. Oh, you do?
I mean a little, I mean I'm not opposed to it. It would be nice. you got to go someone kind of you gotta get a little fertile one because yeah, otherwise you get a re-re
Yeah, pop out. I mean we're already dealing with a not a full deck over here. Yeah genetically as it is. I don't want to
I don't want to risk having a fucking
Yeah, you know I know brain child
Well, if you meet a broad, you know. Well, if you meet a broad...
Yeah, a real wet head.
If you meet a broad that's on her last call for making babies, that could be great too.
But do you want the last couple of eggs in there?
Hey, let me tell you something.
My second kid was made on my last deck.
It was the last one?
He's totally healthy and sweet.
Well, one of them.
Yeah, it's not the last one. But, you know... One of my last deck. It was the last one? He's totally healthy and sweet. Yeah, it's not the last one, but I mean, you know.
One of the last few.
Should I add a bad omelet?
You're still good, you know what I mean?
Annie Letterman, one of my best friends,
she froze for embryos.
She said she's not gonna use them also.
She'll hook me up one with one for my eyes.
Oh, cool. Yeah, I'll use it to eyes or whatever. Yeah, you'll use it to use them also. She'll hook me up one with one for my eyes. Wow.
Oh, cool.
Nice.
I'll use its eyes or whatever.
Yeah, you'll use its eyes.
Yeah.
Take its eyes out.
I mean, we got to use them somehow.
They're just sitting in the fridge.
Yeah.
That's true.
Somebody's got to use them.
Yeah, now they're people, so that's what they say.
That's what they say.
They're people now.
Well, I think you're going to find love.
I think it's coming right around the corner for you.
I hope so.
You're going to be nice. I think you will too. Um, that being said...
I heard you bitches was looking for me.
Ooh!
I haven't heard that.
Interesting one.
I've missed it.
I've missed the TikToks.
I can't wait to see your curations.
Let's see.
It's day seven on the wall.
Is anyone in?
Day seven.
I think you're in the old town. It's also no problem. I really hope it's not.
You didn't see that?
I have so many questions.
I'm not in the atmosphere.
So for all of these are looking gross.
Turns out it's a little...
a little painful.
Yep.
Yep.
Go into the top.
Well, if you're listening to this, they're climbing a flat side of a mountain.
And not only that sleeping on it, because they don't want to, you know, pull over.
That's really hot.
Holy shit.
So, if so many questions, A, I guess as a man.
I'm going to go up to the ship's prow next.
This doesn't tickle my...
Oh, slip the merge.
No. One more pitch, first.
How do you shit?
Also, you know that's the easiest shit.
Shitting's probably the easiest thing.
You just shit off the fucking cliff.
Off the cliff?
Yeah.
Dude, no way.
Why?
How much anxiety you would have?
I mean, you're on there the whole time.
You're sleeping up there.
You might as well shit.
That's the funnest part.
Imagine just dropping a shit
and having it go all the way down, that's fun.
The other thing is like,
if something went horribly wrong,
that's American fun right there.
Something went horribly wrong here.
Yeah.
I'm saying this, let's say your equipment.
Right, like you didn't fall and die,
they're just like, oh, we can't go any further?
Yeah.
No one ever is gonna walk by, you know what I mean?
No.
You just have, you just sit have you just sit you just sit
Like they're sleeping on the thing and it just goes
There for like a week
You just eventually find dead bodies. Yeah, or vultures. You can see it from the bottom
You'd be like what the hell's up there hanging? they've been up there for a minute yeah those are decomposed
I mean last night at camp oh last night at camp
what a wall what a wall oh boy worth it worth it look at that that's what they
climbed up okay now wouldn't it be fun? The best part about that would be shitting off of that.
Oh, pissing. I think if you're a man peeing off,
that would be pretty fun.
It would be fun, though, to watch somebody else shit off there
and be just watching the shit fall all the way down.
Okay, but I have a question for you.
And taking paper and just throwing it behind it.
Yeah.
Tom, would you rather do the cave diving
where you're in the narrow spaces or I have to tell them Mount Wall.
But you're sleeping on the wall?
Sleep on the wall.
100%.
Shitting on the wall.
Not shitting on the wall.
F**k on the wall.
Jack up on the wall.
Live on the wall.
What do you think, Josh?
I think wall over the cave is the cave like you have to swim under the water.
No, the cave is the tight spaces.
No, I don't like that at all.
I'd rather be on the wall.
I'd rather be on the wall.
I'd jizz off the wall.
I'd jerk off off the wall. I'd make her watch and she'd be like, I don't want to do this. Yeah, I'd rather be on the wall. I'd rather be on the wall. I jizz off the wall. I jerk off off the wall.
I'd make her watch and she'd be like, I don't want to do this.
I'm like, shut up.
Shut up. That's why we came up here.
We have to fuck in that thing, too.
Yeah.
On that thing on the side of the wall.
You would die.
You would break itself.
Oh, no, I'm not fucking.
You have to fuck gently.
That's all.
Yeah.
Just quiet, just slow.
Fuck.
You know how cold it is up there, too?
You know how fucking cold it is?
Yeah, it's cold.
It is cold.
It sucks.
The altitude sucks.
He's up there on a bird, like a bird.
He's just makes random talks.
I like his stuff.
I like him.
Yeah, he's rad.
He's got a good disposition.
Yeah, making the most of what you got. Was that a bird sound or a dog? Oh, that's nice. He's got a good disposition. Yeah, making the most of what you got.
Was that a bird sound or a dog?
Oh, I think it's a bird.
Thank you for including this.
You always feel starving on the mountains.
What did that feel like with the starvation and the intense cold?
I'm going to eat different things. El hambre es diferente acá, el hambre que tenemos ahora de ir al morzar o de ir a comer,
es un hambre diferente cuando pasan varios días.
Es diferente cuando te dices, oh, estoy cansado de comer, estoy cansado de comer.
Es diferente de la cansada que te sientes cuando te has hecho comer por días.
Lo único que se entiza es un dolor en el que tomas, o sea, que si no comes te morís.
O sea, es una cosa más razonada cuando recibimos la noticia en el día 10 de que no
nos buscábamos. Por más es cuando empieza a surgir en todos al mismo tiempo la única idea posible
que es la de alimentarnos de nuestros compañeros muertos porque no hay otra chance. La primer cosa
que hicimos fue un pacto solemne entre todos nosotros.
Y él dice que, a ese punto, se realiza que la única manera que pudieran vivir
sería si se consumieran uno otro, sus amigas.
Que si alguno de nosotros moría quedaba a disposición de los demás.
Y la segunda cosa que hicimos fue encomendarles a los estudiantes de medicina
que habían asumido su rol de médicos, que se ocuparan del asunto y se ocuparon. of medicine that had assumed their role of doctors, that they were busy with the matter, and they were busy.
And then they made the agreement that if they,
they packed that if they died,
they told their friends like you can use my body,
you can eat my body.
And then they put the friends that were medical students
in charge of like, okay, cut them up.
They're the cooks.
Yeah, they're the cooks.
I wouldn't do that.
I give it to my best chef friend, like Bert.
Bert Barbecue's nightly.
And Bert does cook a lot, but can he
Like say you gave him a regular chicken, right? Would he know how to cut it up? Yeah? Yeah, I think you could
I don't know. I've done I bushered an emu with him, you know. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, we do
I did most of the cutting. Oh, so you're the one that's gonna cut the bodies clearly. I think you would enjoy that part
Yeah, this parte. Sí.
Es muy difícil.
Ahora, ¿se esperan para los que matan o están como...
Jeff, ¿puedes...
Jeff, te sientes muy cerca y tan fatos.
No quiero que te digas más fatos.
Sí, sí, sí.
Jeff, te matas pronto, ¿no?
¿Qué dices?
Pobre los estudiantes de medicina. ¿Qué le haces? Sí, sí, sí. Jeff, te vas a morir. ¿Qué le haces? Sí.
Pobre los estudiantes de medicina.
Un estudiante de medicina de primera año nunca había visto tampoco un muerto, digo.
Pero como habían asumido su rol y se creían médicos realmente, asumieron ese rol y resolvimos
un tema que teníamos que resolver porque nosotros teníamos el más sagrado de los derechos
que era el derecho a la vida y el derecho a volver a casa
Ya, I think I would
if they if I knew that the search was called off to on top of everything else I'd be like
Ya, I can just eat me I'm done. What are we living for?
Oh, yeah, it's like those apocalypse movies. I'm always like, why are they trying to live for? Yeah, why are you trying to live? Hey, why don't you get that rock and smash my head open?
Yeah, exactly.
How do you want me to go out?
You want me to?
This is interesting.
They dried the meat from the bodies in the sun to make it edible.
I mean, I would prefer fire, like a smoked wood smoked flavoring on this.
Who knows what their fire resources were, though?
Yeah, well, I can make a fucking fire out of nothing.
Yeah, I would figure that shit out, too, dude. I can make a fucking fire out of nothing. Yeah,
I would figure that shit out too, dude. I could do that. You're that well kind of pussy can't make a
fucking fire. Well plus bro, bitch, you smoke cigarettes. So like you probably have a lighter
on you at the time of the crash. That's true. That's true. We would have relied on you for if it was
sunny and dry, though, I feel like I could make a fucking fire out of nothing. I was the one, during New Year's Eve, I did acid and I went camping and it like fixed
my brain in ways you can't understand.
Well, now you want a relationship, yeah.
What's that?
Now you want a relationship.
Sure.
But I made fire out of nothing because it was so hot, like the desert was so dry, I could
just shh and it came to be.
Damn. Then I just used the breath in my lungs,
in the hot coals the rest of the week.
Dang.
Yeah, I felt like a real man,
I mean real capable.
You guys totally have permission to eat me, if we get to.
Yeah, I would never want to live because it's like.
Yeah, I don't care.
I'll die, quickest probably.
I'd be like, get rid of me.
I mean, what are we trying to do here?
Yeah, and I'm real fatty and probably delicious
I'm probably tastier than both of you. I'm probably real stringy like a horse
I'm like a delicious fucking New York strip though. You think so?
Probs. Yeah, yeah, you've been working out a lot. I got some meat. I got some fat. Yeah, good ribs
I think these would be like this would be like to Franklins be fucking delicious. That's true. Actually, you might be the tastiest
I'm like a Kobe beef. I'm just been massaged. Yeah, I'm like a chicken McNugget
Yeah, I'm like why you I'm just all fat
I'm like the goo they pour out and oh cool
This is a all eggs. Yeah, this guy
His whole account is dedicated to eating raw eggs. Oh my god. He's drinking two steins full of
This is just rocky dude. I know but that's like
Drink the second one
He's about to puke hold it in and drink the second stein.
You don't need to do this.
Why is he doing this?
This is a hook, guys. Everybody's got a hook.
Is this a hook?
What is the verdict on raw eggs?
At one point it was like, that's what you do when you go to
box or whatever.
Now it's like, it's completely unhealthy for you.
Well, you get some more.
But I feel like it's come back around. but I feel like it's come back around You know, I do feel like it's come back around to I do yeah, there's like a better rapport. It's like actually
A little trembling was good for you
It looks like if we went to a bukkake it's just like
Yeah eggs the liquid when they're in liquid form like that, are gross. I could probably handle doing one or two of those.
I could do one, yeah, for sure.
One egg.
I've definitely done one, just because when you're a kid and you see Rocky do it, you're like,
Okay.
I'm gonna do that, Rocky's a fucking man.
And I like a raw yolk, like I like a runny yolk, that's cool.
Not like that.
But not like that, bro, drinking it all warm and shit, fuck.
So ladies, if you're looking for a man
who could make you laugh, I'm the man.
Oh.
If you're looking for a man
who loves to dance and can dip you,
I'm your man.
Okay.
If you're looking for a man
that loves to shoot pool. I'm your man.
If you're looking for a man who beat the drums.
I breathe the drums. I'm your man.
If you're looking for a man who is very romantic,
I'm your man.
You guys read off his handle so that the women can find him?
Yeah, sure.
This is at user 216077547835.
If I could read.
That's a...
Easy to remember?
I like that he just named things that guys,
he's just saw Robert Redford one day
and he just started naming the chicks.
How many chicks out there love a guy that can shoot pool?
Yeah, yeah.
You want a guy who can shoot tobacco?
I'm your man.
You want a guy who can drive a car real fast.
None of those appeal to women.
No, none.
Well, I like to dip me while I dance.
Sure.
I like to shoot pool.
Who still dip in while they dance?
I like to dance.
Yeah, you like to shoot pool.
Who's going dancing?
Where are we shooting pool?
I like pool.
Remember, where was our first date?
Yeah, no, okay.
In a dirty, dyed bar in Pasadena.
You're right, once in 20 years, we have shop.
Smokes that are out to the.
Yeah, I know. OK.
Yeah, you make it sound like you're at a pool hall like skadoosh, skadoosh.
And you have your cue or whatever.
No, but I like it.
OK. I don't mind.
That's the that gets the pussies wet when the guy has his own cue.
Coming up with a little briefcase.
You can can can can.
Chocks it up. Yeah.
Oh, God, they're just dripping up and down the bar.
This is more egg stuff from the same guy?
He's obsessed with eggs.
This is called the egg toy for ladies.
Oh, I guess it flicks their beans.
Huh?
Wait, I'm going to need to know the engineering on how that works wait
So that makes their clit that flicks their clip. I guess. I don't know that that
That doesn't hurt. Yeah, that's not hey this is the way this little wood stick. Yeah
I'd love to know what he does to eat pussy
I'd love to know what he does to eat pussy. Oh, stop.
Oh, Josh.
Why?
He's at...
Did you know in Pakistan you could go to the dentist for only $5?
Today I'm with a street doctor and he gives everything from a general checkup, removing
your wisdom tooth and replacing even falling out teeth.
And where I'm from that would cost easily $200.
So tell me guys, what was your last dentist appointment and would you definitely come
here?
That's the dentist. Oh, outside at a... I think that's the $200. This would cost
$200, so you can have a room that you're inside of. Yeah. Air conditioning sterilization.
This is outside a tire shop. It's just like on the street. It's on the side of an off-ramp.
Well, my question is, how is he removing your wisdom teeth on the sidewalk? Because
those are hard to get out. Usually they have to break them.
They can hold you down.
Yeah, they hold you down, get some tools.
He didn't say it was easy. He said it was cheap.
Yes.
Oh, thanks for setting up another...
Hey ladies, do you like a man who goes out to hit that G-spot?
There we go.
That would be me.
There we go. That's be me. There we go.
There, that's what we were all waiting for.
I love to watch him hit the G spot.
Show me where it is.
Just like, you know.
Hey, get your feet on the ground, take off.
Show me those fucking tits, you know?
It always flutters.
Who else is he gonna do?
Does he have more of these?
I'm romantic and I play pool.
Let me just eat your pussy.
Hit the G-spot.
It always goes here.
It always goes here.
It's all a ruse till this comes out.
This is everything.
Well, I'd venture to guess more women want them to hit the G-spot than watch them play
pool.
This is going to work with somebody.
I'll take pool.
I don't know.
Oh, really?
You don't want the G-spot hit?
No.
While he's like a eight ball corner pocket
when they hit the G-spot.
If you guys have to make out with the king or him,
is it gonna be?
The king or him?
Yeah.
Does he have more, is he gonna say more here?
No, that's it, it's just G-spot.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I was gonna say my-
I kinda retake the king because he's a little more socialized.
I think I'm more familiar with the king, so I would feel better being more intimate with him.
This definitely has more traits of mental illness, like the look and the style, you know?
He'd be an aggressive kisser, too. I don't think he's very, like, receptive to a person's...
And I actually think he's really
He's really all about you got to praise him. You got to do things for this guy, you know
I think the king's happy to take care of you. Yeah, I don't think this guy really is the king is a sensual man
Yeah, this guy he's shooting pool. He's a real maverick Cavalier. I don't know if I want to
Get get mixed up with him. Yeah, I don't know, man.
I think, who would you make out with?
The King.
Yeah.
I mean, I know him, I met him.
Right, yeah.
I have rapport like you were saying, Josh.
I feel like this guy would have to,
I'd have to really talk to him for a minute.
I mean, one night of pool action, you never know.
You're gonna be.
Let me suck on them nipples.
Yeah.
That's happening too.
Yeah, yeah.
Don't forget that.
One night at the pool hall with this guy though, who knows?
Who knows?
Hell yeah.
Shady.
Put dumbfruits on the ground.
The king wants to eat frosting off your titties.
There you go.
See, that makes me feel at least safe.
And you know what's so fucked up, since I've had kids when he's like, I'm gonna suck on
your nipples?
Yeah. I guess what my babies did. Yeah., that's like all my children ruin it for sure
Yeah, I mean I may be free even for the king that'll get them off your nipples all right well look I want to die
It's horrible that is a perfect. That's a perfect way to end the show. Your own tiktok spot
When you're bummed out is when I buy your own stuff. That's how you wrap up a show.
So we're super excited.
Behind the Jeans premieres tonight live for channel members only at 5 p.m.
central here on the YMH YouTube channel.
It will be up for everyone tomorrow.
It's Josh Potter's new weekly show.
Yes, I can't wait. Get in the chat, help us out out and give us I mean what you want to talk about too please so yeah
Yeah, yeah, let us know let us know
Thanks for coming dude. Thank you. Can I plug some dates? Of course. Oh my god. I have so many I won't
Take your time. Oh boy. I have so many dates for 2024 folks coming up here this week
I'm gonna be a Chandler Arizona, the Mike
Drop Comedy Club April 26 and 27th, Huntsville,
Alabama, May 3rd, Seattle, Washington, May 29th,
Baltimore, Maryland, May 30th, Washington,
D.C., May 31st, Pennsylvania, June 15th and 16th,
Houston, and in August, I'll be in Omaha and
Des Moines, Iowa.
So get all the tickets up on my Instagram, on
my Twitter, go to the link and, Iowa. So get all the tickets up on my Instagram, on my Twitter.
Go to the link and buy them.
They're all on sale.
There you go.
Oh, yeah. Josh Potter.
Always great to see you. We love you.
Thank you so much for having me.
I love you guys.
I'm so happy that we're doing the show and I can't wait to do it.
All right.
We're going to watch it.
Thank you guys for watching.
Thank you for listening.
We'll see you next week.
It's big time!
Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone's mother into this
Your mama doesn't fucking stand
Welcome, welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and
Christina Pashitsky
Christina Pashitsky
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