Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura - Where Are The Bodies w/ Wheeler Walker Jr. | Your Mom's House Ep. 738
Episode Date: December 13, 2023Tickets are available now for YMH's new special event, 69 Minutes! Get your tickets at https://69minutes.ymhstudios.comTom is coming to LA for the Netflix Is A Joke Festival. Tickets are on presale th...is Thursday at 10am PST with the code TOMMY. Get tickets at https://netflixisajokefest.com or https://tomsegura.com/tourPULL YOUR JEANS UP! It’s another episode of YMH and this week, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss what they love about the holiday season, being in the Christmas spirit, women's bareknuckle boxing, Tom's airport story, and dumb tourism. They also watch some clips from those same dumb tourists and a mashup video of a Chris Hanson interrogation with a video of Senator John Kennedy reading an erotic novel.Country musician Wheeler Walker Jr. joins the Main Mommies to discuss his new album "Ram", Nashville, Garth Brooks, Tom's remix of a Miami Sound Machine song, and Kevin Leonardo. They also watch some Horrible or Hilarious clips and wrap up by watching a batch of fun TikTok's. Wheeler then closes the show by serenading Tom and Christina with his hit song "Fuck This Job". I like that!https://tomsegura.com/tourhttps://christinaponline.com/tour-dateshttps://store.ymhstudios.com/https://www.reddit.com/r/yourmomshousepodcast
Transcript
Discussion (0)
I'm Tom Segura.
I'm Christina Pee.
I'm Rob Eiler.
I'm Jamie Lynn Siggler.
I'm Dr. Drew.
I'm Lauren Compton.
I'm not in the show for real.
And this is 69 minutes.
If you give us an hour, you'll miss 9 minutes of our program.
What's up, it's Tom Segura, and I'm bringing my tour
come together to Los Angeles for the Netflix
as a joke festival.
I'll be at the Kia Forum on May 9th.
I think it's going to pre-sale this Thursday, December 14th at 10 a.m. I'll be at the Kia Forum on May 9th. Tickets go on pre-sale this Thursday,
December 14th at 10 a.m. Pacific with the code Tommy
before the general on sale Friday.
Get your tickets and all info at Netflix
is a jokefest.com and Thomsigura.com slash tour.
Do you know what Sniffers Row is?
No, no, could you tell me?
Sniffers Row is the front row of the strip club.
We can smell the pussy.
I remember when they cut my dick off
to turn into a pussy I asked for it.
And they said they weren't allowed to get it to me.
Well, welcome.
Welcome to your mom's house.
And we are back.
Oh, you giggling about.
Cause I just like being in December.
Yeah, you do.
Yeah.
I do too.
What do you like about the bulb, the bulb?
I like the Christmas season.
I like the holiday.
I didn't know that about you actually.
How did you not know that about me?
You've never expressed any sort of joy or satisfaction.
I didn't know that.
No, I swear to God in all these years, like 20 years.
I have expressed joy and satisfaction
at being in the Christmas season.
You've never clearly said I'll enjoy this moment.
Well, most people can pick up on other cues, you know?
All right.
They don't have to go like, I enjoy the Christmas season.
I just enjoy it.
I like it.
Last night I made our Christmas village,
which I do every year in our living room, and
I didn't feel any sort of way from you.
You were absolutely indifferent.
Didn't even compliment.
I've been working on this village for years.
The village is great.
The village is great.
The village is great.
The village is great.
The village lights up.
It moves and twirls.
Not so much as a great village, babe.
Great village. I really. So. Great village.
I really like it.
I do.
You know what I like the most about the Christmas season?
Great village, baby.
I'm serious.
I like the way you feel.
Like the holiday, the Christmas season, I think, makes me
really feel better.
It makes you feel better about life.
Yeah.
It's joyful.
It's like you feel more gratitude.
You know, I think you're thinking about other people.
That's the first for you, definitely.
That's the first time in my life.
Yeah.
Every December for a week, I go other people.
And then that's it.
And then back to normal.
Well, that's a good thing.
I like it.
Do you want me to bum you out about Christmas?
Not really.
Okay.
So my dad one time said this to me
and like, it totally made sense and it'll bump you
the fuck out.
I just want to, okay, he goes, you know why they made Christmas, right?
And I'm like, why?
He's like, wow, cause it's cold outside, it's depressing, it's snowing and shitty.
So they make something nice in the middle of winter so that you don't feel so depressed.
And I was like, did that kind of make sense?
Oh, does make sense.
Is it 100% true?
Is that why?
I mean, look, the biblical calendar.
Jesus was born whenever.
For the spring.
I don't fucking know.
Josie was born in the spring.
Yeah, because I don't remember reading about snow in the Bible.
It wasn't like, oh shit, they were walking in there.
It was all the snow.
So maybe my dad's fucking right and it's a bummer.
So there you go. Just a holiday. Well, the winner is a bummer in a lot of parts all the snow. So like, maybe my dad's fucking right, and it's a bummer. So there you go, just a holiday.
See what it's like to press.
Well, the winner is a bummer and a lot of parts of the world.
Long, long cold.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
That's it.
Pittsburgh.
What about Pittsburgh?
That's a long winter.
You got a fucking bed and it's like an April?
It's terrible.
It's still snowing in April.
I was thinking more like Arctic places, you know, like the Scandinavian places.
It's misery.
It's really cold there.
I'm following on TikTok, the edge of the earth where people live at the North Pole,
you know, these people that live intentionally in the darkest places.
It's really fascinating because she's like, it's the middle of November.
We are about to lose all of our light during the day
and I count ways.
I'm so excited.
I'm like, what the fuck are you excited about?
I stay inside by my fire, it's my dog.
We go for a walk with a some mild light
between noon and 2 p.m.
I get dark.
They love it.
Some people love it.
Yeah. I can't imagine. No love it. Some people love it. Yeah.
I can't imagine.
No, I can't imagine the morning that.
I'd be a cool thing to experience for a day or two.
Be like, wow, this is like what this is like, you know,
but to actually inhabit that,
I don't think I want to be a part of that.
Well, one time I went to Alaska to do a gig in Anchorage
in January.
This is when I was really desperate for $500 clearly.
Yeah. And I remember it being 9 a.m. on a Sunday and church bells were ringing and it was just jet black
outside.
And I had the opposite experience.
I went to Anchorage on tour and it was midnight and it looked like noon and that was
fucking crazy.
How hot.
You know, you just like, you look up and it's just a bright sky.
Like it's midnight right now.
This is nuts.
But what's more fucked up for a human?
Definitely the dark.
The dark.
Definitely.
Just like, more.
Yeah, yeah.
And it does play, it takes its toll on people.
Of course, I'd be drunk all day.
I'm sorry, all night.
Yeah, I'd be solid to depression.
Yeah.
Look at it, it's still dark out.
Yeah.
Even when I lived in England for a year, it was dark as shit. Like I'd argue like 430. Man, that's still dark out of it. Yeah. Even when I lived in England for a year,
it was dark as shit.
Like I'd argue like 4.30, man, that's why they drink so much.
Because they all are so like four hours a day like.
Yeah, it feels like, you know, nighttime.
Time to get ripped.
Yeah.
Fuck, God.
I don't want that shit, dog.
Nah, daylight's cool.
Here, let's open this show where I got a great clip
to show you.
Cool.
I think you're gonna like it
No bringing one I like that guy. I like that guy too. Ah.
I'm not stupid.
Welcome to your mom's house.
Ah!
Ah!
That's me in Alaska. Oh
See a TikTok
He has a page where he just does shit like this. Yeah, this is my screen. This is my he's a TikTok Or as I'm saying I don't remember shit talk or not actually is a video I
Feel like I should know him Igor. Oh, he's Russian. Yeah, of course
This is what he would do by the way to court you too. Oh, I love it. Yeah
He's sick. Oh
Watch me. Yeah
Do you know
Yeah, do you know I started started weightlifting, not to brag.
Yeah, yeah.
Push around some weight today.
It only by the way, I mean, if they,
I wish there was like a documentary about this
for years.
I've been like good for you.
No, and you were like, I don't wanna look like some
fucking dude.
I don't.
I don't wanna become a lesbian.
I don't wanna look butch, I don't wanna be heavy.
And like, I just felt like it was just more dude culture.
I do enough dude to culture things.
Stand up.
Stand up.
I'd live with three dicks already dude.
It's like, and you were like,
why don't you wanna do jujitsu?
I'm like, cause I don't wanna smell guys assholes
in my face.
Sometimes I'm nice.
Sometimes I got nice balls.
But I got a lady trainer.
Anyway, she was telling me how it was invented,
the Romanian, what the fuck kettlebell,
whatever when you pull up the kettlebell, Romanian.
Romanian deadlifts?
Again, yeah.
She said, or whatever, this lifting of heavy objects,
she said it's invented because these goddamn weird Ruskies were, you know, taking heavy bags of whatever and taking it off of
ships and putting it down or whatever. And she's like, these Russians basically
developed a way to squat and use your butt muscles and properly
are. I'll pick up and move without hurting your back. Yeah. Sorry. Delirious. I don't
sleep well. Anyway, I thought that's hilarious. I didn't sleep well.
Anyway, I thought that was fascinating.
And that makes total sense that the Ruske's invented something like that.
Yeah, but more importantly, you're embracing.
There I am.
Some strength training.
There's me, right?
Romani into.
Yeah, I'm going to be, I'm going to be so strong.
I'm very proud of you.
Be a lady of your dreams.
I'm proud of you.
Thanks.
Yeah.
I'm going to start doing tea. That's awesome. You know what of your dreams. I'm proud of you. Thanks. I'm gonna start doing tea.
That's awesome.
You know what else I would have been begging for years for?
Let that leg hair grow.
Let that armpit hair grow.
You know what I mean?
You love that.
So hot.
So hot.
It's normal.
It's normal.
It's just healthy.
It's normal.
She's this.
I feel like the chicks that have that too, especially on TikTok, they have to make a big deal out of it.
Of course.
Look at it.
Bitch, okay.
Just live your life.
You don't have to fucking announce it.
Nobody gives a fuck about you.
I promise.
You're the one.
You're courting the drama.
Yeah.
Nobody gives a shit bitch.
Nobody gives a shit.
Have you ever shaved your armpits?
Have I?
No, never.
Would you try it?
I think if I really pursued swimming,
it feels nice actually.
Swimmers do that, shave their whole bodies down,
so they're smooth like dolphins.
Does Michael Phillips shave his whole body?
Yeah, whole body, absolutely.
Wow.
Where the swim cap, cover it in your hair
if they have a hair on their heads,
and then that's it, no more hair anywhere.
No, is pubes even, you think?
I don't know, your pubes are covered by that skin tight speedo,
but they have crazy bodies, those swimmers.
No, the upper part is very developed.
Yeah.
Well his swimmer, his body is good.
Yeah, he's like six, seven, two,
yeah, he's too tall, right, to be a swimmer.
No, I think that's actually good.
No.
Yeah, and he's got like size 16 feet, so it's like, he's got like flippers, you know?
It's amazing.
He was designed for swimming.
What if you had like a really huge dog and your swim coach like you got to tape it, you got to tape it up.
So always where your mind goes.
That's really the only thing she ever thinks about.
I mean.
Well, I don't have one, I got to think about them. Yeah thinks about, I mean.
I don't have one, I gotta think about them.
Yeah, no, I think about them too.
I got a dick on my mind, most of the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of that, check this out.
How old are you?
40.
Why did you say you were 35 in the chats?
I was in a room at the moment of my application.
Do you speak English?
Masamanos.
Como se dice en español,
I want to suck and kiss all over your pussy
until you squirt in my mouth.
What did you mean by that?
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Nobody say,
you know,
you said that.
You said that.
That's so great. That's so great.
What did you mean by that?
My favorite.
Chris Hansen, yeah.
I like this part.
He's nice.
Fucking bitch.
So I saw this.
Obviously Chris Hansen was, you know,
the host had to catch a predator.
And he's doing his own, you know,
version of that show now, which I wish we had the, know the name of it by any chance what his show is called
Let me pull it up
Okay, by the way for those of you if you haven't been listening to YMH very long
Chris Hanson has been on his show
He's been on YMH, yeah, and he's lovely. He's a lovely. He take down with Chris Hanson is what it's called now
So that's that's his god bless Chris Hansen. Yeah.
He's doing the Lord's work.
So but hearing him say that brought back the memory
of a few weeks back when we had the Senator
reading the story.
I put some loop on and got him on his knees.
And I began to slide into him from behind.
Yeah.
I pulled out of him and kissed him while he masturbated.
I don't know, bro.
I know, it's like, kind of makes you want to hear them together, you know?
I want to suck and kiss all over your pussy until you squirt in my mouth.
I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth.
What did you mean by that?
I'm going to give you the blowjob of your life.
This was my ass.
Do you speak English? I'm gonna fucking throw up. I can listen to this all day. I know.
You said that.
Yeah.
It's good stuff, right?
How long have I been doing?
I'm gonna put a video together too.
Yeah.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together.
I'm gonna put a video together. I'm gonna put a video together. I'm gonna put a video together. I'm gonna put a video together. I'm gonna put a video together. Yeah, yeah, it's good stuff, right?
How do I think I'm dying?
Would you put video together too?
He asked me to turn over while he slipped a condom on himself.
This was my ass and I was struggling to imagine someone inside me.
What did you mean by that?
He got on top and slowly inserted himself into me.
It was the worst pain I think I have ever felt in my life. Eventually I felt a mix of pleasure with
the pain. I got a new strap on harness. Do you know the word don't pretend? I can't wait to put it on you.
It will fit my favorite dildo.
Do you speak English?
I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth.
You said that.
I'm going to give you the bow job of your life.
Then I want you inside of me.
Come with me, Dysannas, and you're all,
I want to suck and kiss all over your pussy
until you squirt in my mouth.
There's so much, I don't know what's funnier,
is Chris Hanson speaking total gringo Spanish?
He's like, comeo say they say.
I want to suck and lick on your pussy
until you squirt in my mouth.
It's how I speak Spanish, he does.
Or the fact that they're angrily reading pornography.
And then it's the best part.
The senator is acting offended the entire time.
Look at that look right there.
He's like, yeah.
And you with your stress, your hat on.
Over the eyes.
He's like, your cock in my mouth.
Everybody hear that?
Try your strap on dildos up in my asshole and it hurts.
Is that a nice thing to say?
Right, he's so scolding of the pornography,
like shut up bitch, you know,
you know that most of that room is like just keep reading.
Just keep reading.
So this is the best.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Do you want teenagers to read?
Yeah.
And say, do it.
Yeah.
My strap on.
This was my ass.
This was my ass.
It's so mad about it.
But fucking me, enjoying it.
I'd pleasure and pain
Feels good y'all who talks like that
So great oh my god this week 69 minutes. Oh my gosh you guys are gonna love everybody busted their ass here
We've literally worked on this for four months.
Yeah. And it's finally coming out on Friday. We're all gonna be watching it at the same time.
If you're if you're gonna watch will be hashtag 69 minutes on Twitter on x excuse me.
And we'll be posting stuff about it everywhere, but we're super stoked.
We hope you join us.
It'll be on YMACedStudios.com.
Get your tickets, and I hope you enjoyed.
I hope you laughed your ass off.
We laughed so much making this thing.
Yeah.
And everybody worked really, really hard.
So thank you to everyone that participated.
Thank you to the whole staff here.
And yeah, it's very, very exciting. It's very funny. There's a trailer out
You probably got and seen the messages about it
But please join us and let us know what you think try it out. Try it out. You're gonna like the way you look
I guarantee it. It's so fun. We put so much work
It's really better than anything
It's great. It's so funny, dude. What is your, um, what?
I was told your, what is it?
Your vacation stuff.
You wanted to show me something?
Dumb tourism.
Oh, fuck.
What is this?
Listen, I've been so pumped to show this to you.
I've been purposely withholding.
Yeah, I see a folder, but I have a breath in it.
Oh, me.
So listen, it's this whole lane of TikTok.
We're dumb Americans.
Go to bad places as tourists.
And by bad places, I mean any country ending in Stan.
Don't fucking go to any Stan.
Trust me, I've been to fucking Kazakhstan.
Uzbekistan, I've been there before I went to Afghanistan.
Is that a good vacation spot.
Yo, all these stands are post-communist Dops.
It sucks so bad, they're so dangerous.
And these retards, hold on,
let me tell you what they're planning, Dylan.
These fucking cracker dummies are going through
like Turkmenistan on their way to Afghanistan.
And this is, you're gonna die okay I mean I was like
let's see get the fuck out of here dude you not have parents is my least favorite city in central
Asia Dushan Bay is the capital of Tajikistan you'll find these poorly photoshop pictures of the
president on and inside every single building no shit also I've never seen more flags in my life. Almost every balcony
has a Tajik flag. The bazaar was pretty nice though. It had lots of tea, spices, cheese, and vegetables.
The city itself is fine. It was very hazy during our stay and we found the city did not have much
soul or character. But maybe we missed something. If we did, let us know. Sorry, this is a very banal one.
Yeah, it's just like a pal. It's also a survey.
I like that somebody made a video of like,
here's my least favorite place I've ever been.
And they put like some music to it.
And it's, here's something that sucked.
Yeah, it's like, okay, whenever a country highlights
the spices, you're like,
and the president.
There's not a lot going on.
I know, but when they're like his photos everywhere,
that's always a sign that you're in a bad fucking place.
Bad place!
Yeah, because when it's mandatory that like,
hey, top dog, his photo is everywhere.
Yes, dog.
That's a problem.
It's scary, like when I was in...
It's authoritarian, you know, that's by orders of the government
of the government.
Or the shake, or whoever, like when in Saudi,
in all these countries, that's what you see.
Yeah, put his photo up.
And in the stands, that's what you see. It's put his photo up. And in the stands, that's what you see.
All right, here's another one.
Not good.
This is how we got scammed and how to babushka try to kill us.
These taxi drivers swarmed our car
as soon as we arrived at the central bus station.
Oh, fuck.
These guys are super aggressive for absolutely no reason.
Now, we've splined to one of the drivers
that we needed to ride to the border, not a city or town to the border and he agreed.
Four hours later, when we got to the city, we were 50 kilometers away from the border and he told us to get out of his car.
We shouldn't have paid him until we got to our destination.
We tried to get another share taxi to the border and this babushka asked us for money.
When we said no, she became angry, started swearing at us, throwing rocks at us,
and followed us. Eventually, some locals came and told her to leave. We couldn't get a ride to the
border so we got a hotel room near the bus station. Hopefully, we can get a bus in the morning.
You can't, you're not gonna. It's really interesting that there's just so many different types of
people in the world and that this is somebody's idea of a good time. Like, you know what I mean? Like, when somebody goes, what's vacation?
They're like, I just like to be in dangerous places.
You know, and I like, really dangerous places.
Yeah, like to feel threatened regularly.
And, we're dumb Westerners, are not welcome.
The reason they're, those men are like,
you're not agrees.
Cause they don't see people like you.
Right, they're fighting over who's going to rob you first.
Yeah.
That's why dipshit.
It's not good for us to go.
You're rich Americans.
Of course they're gonna get you.
It's the fuck out of there stupid.
Yeah.
I mean, and by the way, it's not a babushka.
That's a gypsy, you dummy.
Those are gypsy.
That's the same, yeah.
Yeah, that's a gypsy.
A roatzigano.
This is good warning you about.
Hitano's a mierda.
They're everywhere.
This is gypsy. Don't talk to gypsy.
That's what they do.
Fangou, Logitano.
Yeah, it's their gypsies, bro.
And like, yeah, listen, the only reason I was in the stands
was because I was with the military.
Sure.
And if I went out into, was back a stand to look at it,
it was with like military personnel, okay?
Okay, these two ding-dongs.
Is there another one?
Yeah, there's another one.
You're gonna die at these two retires.
I want a road trip to Afghanistan.
We refilled our water bottles over the wall.
Is this the same, bro?
Yeah, yeah.
So this really is what they like to do.
It's the same couple and they want to go to Afghanistan.
Gotcha.
They want to see what's going on in the stands.
I'll embod a few buckets of diesel.
They're checkpoints all over this part of the country,
and soldiers will check to make sure
you have the required permits.
We decided to take a detour to see an abandoned
Soviet observatory.
The observatory was a little underwhelming,
but the views from up here are incredible.
Those are the Hindu Kush Mountains and dirt hills there.
Oh, the Hindu Kush Mountains, I believe that dirt hill there. Oh, the Hindu Kush Mountains.
I believe that's where Bin Laden was hiding for over a decade.
That's nice.
This is the walk on corridor.
And for the next few days, we will be driving along this river.
The river separates Tajikistan from neighboring Afghanistan.
It started getting dark, and we got stuck behind this herd
of cows.
These roads are no joke during the day day and are straight up dangerous at night.
Thankfully we made it to the guesthouse safe and sound.
Followed to see more of the mere highway.
Pummier, this is where the Taliban blows you up too.
There's IEDs on that fucking road, did you?
Taliban also will have a real fun time with a check that's a western check.
He's like, where are the best views?
They're like, we gotta place for you.
It's really cool.
Well, you know, we hold on.
You mean that the Taliban won't respect
her American citizenship?
Oh, you're just looking to check things out?
Yeah.
Wait, you mean these people won't respect
your fucking Americanness, you dummy?
I do know what it is for me. It's the arrogance of Americans that think they can just go
anywhere and do anything. But don't you get it? This is a really dangerous place, dummy.
Well, I know people like her. You do too. I know. I know. There is this thing, here's the thing.
It's kind of like this appealing, attractive quality
in someone until it's not.
And it's like, you know what I mean?
It's this, it's towing the line of, I'm a risk taker.
Yes.
I'm fun, I'm adventurous.
I'm not just scared of everything.
And you go, oh, that's kind of inspiring.
Someone who's not scared of everything.
Someone who will seek things out.
And you're like, yeah, and it's all great
until it turns dark too early and you're lost.
And then really bad things happen.
And then they go, she was really adventurous.
She was so adventurous.
She was so sweet.
And then she just, she made one big oopsie.
And then they disemboweled her on the Pamir highway.
The Pamir highway.
Google Pamir highway.
What is this horrible play?
I assure you it's not a good place for tours.
Of course it's not.
This is somewhere nobody should be.
Unless you're the goat herder who fucking lives there.
Yeah, yeah.
This, these stand countries are awful. Okay.
I've been to them. As part of my duty as an American patriot entertaining our US troops,
this is the only reason I put myself here.
It's the only continuous route through the difficult terrain of the mountains and is the
main supply route to Tajikistan, the region.
The route has been used for millennia.
As there are a limited number of viable routes through the high Pamir Mountains, the road
formed one link of the ancient Silk Road trade route M41 is the Soviet road number, but
it only remains as an official designation in post-Soviet Uzbekistan, as confirmed by
the Filser degree.
What is that Kyrgyzstan and Tajikistan have passed degrees
abolishing Soviet numbering of highways
and assigning their own national numbering.
These are awful post-Soviet countries.
It's the worst.
I'm sure it's, it can be beautiful.
I can see the beauty.
I mean, like, that is a beautiful shot.
And that is, I'm sure that would be breath taking to see.
In person, I'll just take the photo.
But yeah, it's probably also some of the worst things
you can imagine are possible on the Pomeranian highway,
you know, just running into the wrong group.
What, literally, running into a pickup truck.
On the only highway that exists there.
For the Taliban.
If finding fucking people with machines,
what's the distance?
There's a couple of guys on the back of the truck.
I don't know what they're holding.
Oh, it looks like it's a 50 caliber machine gun.
Yeah, here we go.
Two American cyclists among four dead in Tajikistan.
I claim my eyes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, you can take risks in America.
There you go.
There's lots of things. Do you jump off? That's what I'm saying. There's not going yeah. Yeah. You know, you can take risks in America. There you go.
There's lots of things, do you jump off of it?
That's what I'm saying.
There's not gonna be a final video from that couple, you know.
You're gonna be like, how can they stop posting?
Where do they go?
Oh, they wanted to see North Korea.
I mean.
They're definitely going there.
Of course.
Of course, there has to be,
there has to be a whole industry devoted to people.
Hey guys, this to me, it's not exactly as inspiring as we had hoped for.
It's very gray and there's a lot of pictures of this short chubby guy everywhere.
But anyway, the food's all right and it gets dark and there's people tailing us kind of
going everywhere we go and telling us that we don't have much time left.
We'll see how it goes next.
No more videos. Yeah.
Pyongyang is surprisingly quiet. Yeah. There's not much electricity, but it's cool.
There's nothing to see, guys. I guarantee there's nothing to see in these countries.
Don't go to these places. I guess this is just all for the whole thing to go.
Like, don't do it. Oh, you won't believe where I've been. I think it's kind of like what this is for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right?
It's like when somebody does an extreme thing like climbs Everest.
And you're like, no shit.
It's like that same reaction.
Like I was in Afghanistan on chilling on the premiere.
Yeah, yeah, but you live for it.
It was really different.
This is a, I took a vacation.
It's different.
I think that's what it is without proper
Protection and provisions. These things are not for lay people to do
You know what I mean just what why you got it? Why do you gotta do? No? I prefer just you know Let's just I get into the Christmas spirit. I mean
I'm drinking pudding. I'm drinking pudding.
I'm dreaming all so white.
Pussy.
Oh, okay.
Wrap around my big black dick.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Eleven.
Eleven.
I love it.
I love the holidays.
Me too.
The holidays are where it's at.
Why can't I be related to this guy?
Yeah, I know, right?
It's fine. That's a good one. Yeah. I was thinking I'm digging put in.
Well, I can't wait to have your cock in my mouth. Hey, have they canceled Santa baby yet?
Is the song? Is that considered gross yet? I always thought it was weird to fuck Santa.
I think so. I think they've done like new versions of a lot of those like non-PC. Can we see them? I'm curious. And I know. So there was
a song Santa baby, which was basically like, I'm gonna fuck you Santa. Give me presents. It was so gross.
I always thought it was off. It's cold outside of it. That's a one. That's a one, baby. That's the real bad sign. That's like, yeah. And then we really must go and he's like,
no, no, no, no, stay here.
No, no, stay here.
It's too snowy on that.
I have a drink and I have a fire.
I want you shut the fuck up while you're at it.
I think that's the version that cut this one down.
Yeah, you fucking stupid bitch.
And then she's like,
that's the end of it, is there a head?
And he's like, you just hear this tear
and then he just goes, get the fuck out of here.
He throws her out. She's like, it's freezing out here. That's the version we should go for. And you hear hear this tear and then he just goes, get the fuck out of here. He throws her out.
She's like, it's freezing out here.
That's the version we should go for.
You hear the door shut and the lock.
Is it too late to add that?
No, you can still add it.
69 minutes.
It's a good closer.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, it might need.
I'm a little jingle.
Oh yeah, here we go.
These are the new lyrics for baby, it's cold out.
So they have new lyrics?
Yes.
They've like rewritten it.
Not as f**king yet. Let's see, can you make it it. Yeah, let's see.
Can you make it bigger?
Yeah, we're.
Huh, I wonder what they changed, though.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I'll tell you what they changed, because I know there's, so it's a really can't stay.
Maybe it's cold outside.
I've got to go away, but I can call you right.
That's added.
That used to be, hey, bitch, stay here.
It's cold, too cold.
He's convincing or like, you can't go off. to be, hey, bitch, stay here. It's cold, too cold.
He's convincing or like, you can't go off. Gross.
This evening has been, I'm so glad that you dropped in.
I don't know if that's whatever.
So very nice time spent with you is parodized.
That's not in that original, right?
I don't know.
My mom will start to worry.
I'll call the car.
Can you pull up the original lyrics next to it?
Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Okay. I can't see. Oh, put your
dad eyes on my dad. Oh my god. I really can't stay. Okay, that's good. I got to go away.
That's what you said. So now it says time style. You just paradise. I used to say, I'll hold your hands.
They're just like ice. So he's warming you up.
He's touching her already.
My mom will start to worry.
Beautiful. What's your hurry?
So he's already like, come on baby,
what do you have tight you stupid bitch?
And now it says, I'll call the car and tell him to hurry.
So he's like, Uber's on the way.
Sure.
My daddy will be,
oh my father will be pacing the floor listening
to the fireplace floor.
He's trying to distract you and now it's
My daddy will be pacing the floor. Wait. What are you still living home for?
Okay
So it's like now he's at least addressing what you're saying
She's a loser. Yeah, distracting you. Yeah, so it used to say so really I'd better scurry
Beautiful, please don't hurry.
And now it says, it's really a better scurry.
Your driver, his name is Murray.
Oh, he's telling you, you can confirm when he gets here.
Ask him his name and also his license plate numbers,
LCX-124.
Yeah, this is an ad for Uber.
Yeah.
The neighbors, okay, well maybe just a half a drink more,
put some records on while I
pour.
So he's still getting her.
So she's now, she's turning around and going, maybe just to have a drink more.
Oh, we're both adults.
So who's keeping scores?
The new one.
That's stupid.
It's consensual.
Blue.
The neighbors might think, baby, it's bad out there.
That's the original one.
And now it's, what will my friends think?
I think they should rejoice.
God, this is so gay. It's gay, it's retarded. Oh my God. All right, the next line,
on, the next line is, say what's in this drink? No cabs to be had out there. So he's just like,
he's like ignoring it. Yeah, just. And now it says, if I have one more drink
and then it's your body and your choice.
I wish I knew how your eyes are like starlight now.
And now it's,
You wish I knew you had.
You really know, yeah.
You're honest with it.
They kept that.
To break this spell, I'll take your hat your hair looks swell
Now it's to cast a spell one look and you and I fell
Okay, I had to say no no no sir mind if I had mind if I move in closer and
Then it says I ought to say no no no sir, then you really ought to go, go, go.
But it's a cool, it's like,
the original is I ought to say no, no, no sir.
And he says, mind if I move in closer,
so he's asking her,
consent, so it's like, if you're
so in, I don't know, it says, I ought to say,
no, no, no sir, and then you really ought to go, go, go.
So what don't,
yeah, what a fun era for No, sir. And then then you really ought to go go go go. So why don't
Yeah, well, what a fun era for court. At least I'm gonna say that I tried. What's the set of her in my pride? Oh, now it's at least I'm gonna say that I tried well, Murray. He just pulled up outside
Your Persian drivers here
outside. Your Persian drivers here to take you on the Pajameer Highway. Do you like Dracar Nwar in heavy amounts? There is an
armo sitting out front. It smells like cigarettes. Hope you take one of his
mints. I really can't stay. Oh baby don't hold out. Oh now it's I really can't stay. Oh baby, don't hold out.
Oh now it's, I really can't stay.
I understand baby.
It's so fucking stupid.
God damn, this is dumb.
Super.
It's so dumb.
Wait, my favorite line is so on the nose.
Like look, I get it.
That song was kind of, I get it.
But my favorite one is your body, your choice.
This is so like political, like shut up.
And then, I mean, in the end of the original, like, isn't, how does it end?
Baby, it's cool.
They decide to fuck.
They decide, yeah.
Yeah, they fuck.
She stays.
And now it's baby just go.
It's cold baby.
It's cold, but ooh, I don't want to go. Okay, so she agrees to stay
Okay, she's still fucks, but there's just tons of consent
He's like no, I really want you you really should go if you don't want to say called what about fucking Murray
I've got to pay the link the cancel pay this the surcharge
You question is did he get her a black card just
It's a lift. She's like that's there's risk back for
Oh Jesus After the first round of realize that she was a lot tougher than I was expecting
Although I expected to be tough. I just expected there to show a bit more tiredness
It didn't go the way I wanted but I was still happy that I went all the five friends
You may not look like it. I enjoyed the whole process and I'm doing in the rain and challenging myself
If I could fight break again, yeah, I think what I do is for the way I like to fight I backed up a little bit more than
Maybe I should have and I probably try to do other things that I wouldn't normally do.
Holy shit.
Well, that's bearin' knuckle.
Oh.
Will you pull up Melanie Shaw?
M-E-L-A, so we can see what she looks like when she's not bad.
I want to be friends with this girl.
She's awesome.
Yeah, hit.
I don't think so.
Fighter, yeah. There you awesome. Yeah, hit, um, I don't think so.
Fight her, yeah.
There you go.
Damn, dude.
But what does she look like?
That girl fucked her up.
Oh yeah, she's pretty.
Yeah, but what?
Melanie.
That face is crazy, right?
I don't know.
Look at the one flexing there.
I know, I hope.
That's what she looks like.
That's gonna be me after I do my way lifting.
Dude, look at the two.
I know. Fuckin' Amy. She got a my way lifting. Dude, look at the two. I know.
Oh my God, I'm fucking wrecked.
Uh, oh it says, disfigure with teeth knocked.
Our teeth got knocked out.
Teeth, bro.
Well, bare knuckle is fucking insane.
I mean, look at her knuckles right there,
the holding the mic.
Yeah.
You see those?
Those are totally swollen right after.
Yeah.
Her face is completely destroyed.
Yeah, I'm just fucking destroyed. This reminds me of public
school getting to fight. She checks everywhere. That's public school, huh? In LA. God damn. Yeah, dog.
These bitches are real. See, can I tell you something? The stupid bitch that's backpacking
through Tajikistan. Yeah. She never been in a fight before. No, that's something she was lying up for.
That's what I'm saying.
You want a dangerous thing?
You want to say something?
Get a fight, dude!
Dude, that.
These chicks have never been hit.
They've never been in a fight.
That's why they do shit.
Like going to fucking Kazakhstan and Kubekistan and Kakostans.
Yeah.
Shit.
These dummies don't know the violence exists in the world.
I know, right?
Unreal.
They're putting themselves there.
It's crazy, dude.
Did we get by the way cover what a great guy I am?
Sure.
That I was at the airport a few weeks ago,
found a purse on the ground.
That was a horrible lead-in.
You're like, did we cover it with a great gun?
Well, just thinking about it.
Yeah.
Like, I used to don't feel like I was kind of...
You wanted to pray to the enough.
You wanted to be celebrated.
You want me to bake your cake.
I kind of do, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you realize how inconvenienced I was and then I just...
Let's talk about it.
Let's talk about it.
I mean, I pull up to JFK.
It's a bad airport.
I get out and on the ground underneath
the vehicle that's dropping me off, I see a strap
and I pick it up and as I start,
I realize it's a purse and the strap is detached.
One of the curbside baggage guys,
reached, he's like, I'll take that,
I'm gonna get the fuck out of here.
So I was like, no.
And then-
He didn't trust him, he didn't look trustworthy.
I mean, I'm like, oh, you will?
Oh, okay.
We trust him, yeah.
Like, he's the lost and found.
Well, because if that had happened in like Ohio,
I'd be like, I trust that guy, I put his JFK.
No, I wouldn't trust anybody.
I would never trust anybody who goes, I'll take it.
Yeah, I have a zero trust policy on that.
So I was just like, I got it.
And then I walk inside and he follows me inside.
Yeah, because I was taking my bags, you know,
I had my roller and I had my backpack and my coat.
And then I have this additional purse,
and I walk in and I unzip it
because I wanna see like what the contents,
you know, looking for an ID.
I turned over to my show, he's following me inside.
Almost like are we gonna chop this up?
Like what's going on, you know?
I was like, so I take out the ID, I get the ID,
I'm like, all right, first of all, this person,
like they lost their ID and
their, their, their purse outside the airport.
No, no, no.
And this is the park.
So there's no way they're through because they can't get through.
Oh, yeah.
So I'm like, all right, which should I do it?
So I take a photo of her ID and then I do a post on Instagram and I'm like, you know,
just, I just, I just tell the story and then here's the ID of this person.
Here's their name.
Well, you know, I also have to go in myself. I just tell the story and then here's the idea of this person. Here's their name.
Well, you know, I also have to go in myself like so I put the purse in my unzip my bag. I got stuff in there go through security
Go towards my gate. I go to the lounge and
When I'm at the lounge open my phone up and I of course I'm barred with like
joke phone up and I've of course I'm barred with like joke comments. They're like it's my purse. Give it to me and all the you know like hundreds of people writing this shit.
The mommy's can find anybody. Oh yeah but then they find her right away. Of course.
And then she messages me and she's like hey it's my purse and I look at the name. I'm like oh this
is her. And she's like can you can you come outside of security
so I can, like, I'm, miss my flight.
And I'm like, fuck.
Cause I had to, you know, I had to do all the security,
go through it.
So now you're gonna, in convening to you.
Yeah, but I'm like, yeah, I go, yeah, okay.
So I grab my stuff and I start heading towards
the, to leave the lounge.
And I just look again, and she's like,
actually my friend is through,
she'll come get it from you.
And I go, I'm like, what's your friend's name?
Tells me the friend's name.
And then as I'm leaving the lounge,
this lady's like, are you Tom?
Do you have to, I go, yeah, confirm her name.
And she's like, yeah, dude, this is fucking crazy.
So I go, here's it, you know, and she's like,
yeah, we're gonna try to make our flight. And I figure that's that. I'm like, yeah, dude, this is fucking crazy. So I go, here's it, you know, and she's like, yeah, we're gonna try to make our flight.
And I figured that's that.
I'm like, okay.
So now I sit back down.
So I've handed it over, I sit back down.
I'm like, okay, now I have like 20 or 30 minutes
before I need to leave the lounge to catch my flight.
So I'm sitting there.
And then when it's finally time for me to leave the lounge to catch my flight. So I'm sitting there and then when it's finally time for me to leave the lounge, I am rolling
my bag to the escalator and who's coming up?
It's the lady.
No.
So I run into her and she's like, the fuck it goes, we missed my flight, but they put us
on another flight, so we have another flight and we're just going to hang out.
And she was super thankful, so nice. No, it was just like a cool moment, you know,
that she was able to get her stuff and then get on the couch.
She hot.
Yeah.
Did she let you squeeze her tits at least?
This is not.
Well, say thank you.
Nice lady, respectful lady,
wasn't nothing like that.
How old is she?
I don't know.
30, 40s.
I don't remember.
Well, that was very nice of you.
Yeah, I know.
Okay.
All right, I understand.
What's kind of disappointing is to get back
from something like that and to come into this office
and not see like banners balloons cupcakes, you know, I mean like
You're the best like that kind of stuff celebrating the gesture. I mean like the point of doing the point is it's not
I don't want to have to ask for it. You guys should know to do that now. I'm now it looks like
That's on us. Yeah, now I have to be like, oh, where's my,
you know, where Haka I'm not being honored.
Right, we're in a jerk's amount in the situation.
Well, I mean, I hate to have to point it out,
but it's like, now, by the way,
don't even think about doing it now.
Now it'll mean nothing, I'll throw the cake in your face.
But the next time I do something like that,
which will happen again,
because I'm that type of person,
you guys need to step up as a whole staff, I'm saying.
Yeah, and reward you.
Well, you want cupcakes, balloons, banners.
I would put photos of me up.
And yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Babe, there's photos of you already up everywhere
in a studio.
Different ones.
You recycle our cans in your mouth, right?
Different. It needs to be like, you know. Everywhere in a studio. Different ones. You recycle our cans in your mouth, right? Different.
It needs to be like, you know.
You're glorified everywhere.
No, it's not enough.
It's shaking Brad Pitt's hand.
It's not enough.
It should be like a more like a, like a, like a,
I know.
Headshot kind of thing, like a, you know what I mean?
Like a hand on the, and then like this.
Yeah.
And then it should be like, you know, a banner.
Like the leader.
You're the best Turkmenistan.
Well, we should have.
I mean, I don't, I hate to ask for it.
I hate to ask for it.
I just feel like if you guys had any sense to you,
that would already be happening.
And there should be a cake, you know.
No.
Who's a better person than, you know, I mean.
I know.
I agree with you.
When you do a good deed, especially when it minorly inconveniences you you want to be
Salivated yeah, I agree dude because most people will be like yeah, who cares about that bitch
You know what I mean?
And they just go on with your husband, but that was nice of you
So I just distract broke on her purse. I guess I just
Kind of guy you get I just kind kinda did what I think anybody would do.
I don't want all this like attention for it.
I understand.
That was really good time.
Don't even mention it.
I just do what I hope somebody would do for me.
Probably, yeah.
Okay, why don't we take a, don't make that face.
No, no.
Not on face.
No, no.
Let's take a quick break and we'll see what kind of I come up with during our break.
We are back and we are always excited to welcome back this guest who has a new album out
right now called Ram.
Give it up for Wheeler, Walker, Jr. everybody. Thank you so much, guys. Thank you.
I do appreciate it. Good to see you guys. It's always good to see you. Thanks for coming in.
Just for people that don't know which, how many albums is this now for? That's the fifth one. Fifth album.
I think it's time to wind it down. What do you guys think? Wind it down? What? I just feel like, I don't know.
I feel like I'm, it's all about exiting at the right time.
Yeah.
You know, and I gotta,
my favorite artist kind of new went to call it a day.
I don't think it's gonna be like tomorrow,
but what's all wheeler gonna do after this?
That is what I'm discussing right now.
I don't know.
But I feel like I'm like ready to just chill.
To chill in the mountains?
Yeah.
Like that kind of thing.
I kind of want to, we were just in Florida recently.
I was like, I could just sit on this beach for like 20 years.
And I mean, I probably don't even have 20 years in me, but...
Sure, but I get that.
We were talking about where to peace out from.
Like, where would you go?
Where's the ultimate?
What was your answer?
Europe.
You think so?
Mm-hmm.
Western Europe.
Like, where?
Give me an example.
Could be like Portugal, Spain, Italy. Italy. See, I need them to find people speak in English. You think so? Western Europe. Western Europe. Like where? Give me an example.
Could be like Portugal, Spain, Italy.
Italy.
See, I need them to find people speak in English.
England?
England, which seems clad.
Like hold.
The beach in Florida sounds good to me.
It's a way easier place to get to.
Yeah.
Again, they speak red neck and they know what they're talking about.
And you can actually, you can fucking get a nice spot.
You know, you really could, depending on the real stuff.
Yeah, I don't think it's that crazy there.
I mean, it's not, Europe is probably super crazy, right?
But it's always geographic, right?
So it just depends on where you want that spot to be.
Like in Florida, I can point you to extremely expensive
real estate on the beach.
Sure, yeah.
That's kind of like everywhere. Yeah, you could live in
What kind of shit of your place or you can live in LeBron's old house exactly
What is Austin Austin's gotten as crazy as national right it it peaked it got real crazy
But that was actually a while it's come back down to reality a little bit. Yeah, maybe
Maybe I should come over here
Reality a little bit. Yeah, maybe
Maybe I should come over here. National National is fucking. Nashville's getting all my fucking this city would love to have you. What's wrong with that?
What's going on there? It's just it's turned into fucking
Redneck Disneyland. It's just it's just fucking
Jason Aldean's bar kid rocks with just people. Yeah, the airport just full of you know
Can I be rude? Yeah, bitches and cowboy hats and fuck one of those shoes that like a pre-dirty
We know Craig the golden goose. I hate those shoes
Yeah, just like the settlers right the cowboy the cowgirl hat and fucking golden goose
Go to the fuck out of here like making their reservations for Kid Rocks bar
I always feel like so many girls that wear just their cow girl boots though,
they look like kids.
You look gay, like you're wearing mommy shoes.
You look like, cause they're oversized.
And they can't really balance right?
Yeah, they're old and they look too big.
And you know what, really struck me about Nashville
last time I was there, the drunk girl culture,
sorry, the Bachelorette Party culture,
and that downtown, it's like,
and the thing that really baffled me
are these the buses that you pedal while you get drunk.
Oh, the fucking pedal taverns.
And I'm like, why?
And every time I'm down near downtown,
I'm like, I'm gonna smash into this fucking thing.
Well, why would you want to exercise while you're getting ripped?
Because it's because it's the cool fucking dumb bitch thing to do.
I'm such a dumb bitch.
It is a dumb bitch move.
It sucks.
And you drive by some of them and they're so hammered that they're like,
yeah, they scream at you.
You're like, I'm about to get thrown up on.
And when I go down, I think they're recognizing me.
I'm like, oh fuck, you're coming.
They look out, there's my fans.
They're just, they're just young because I have a car.
Yeah, they're drunk.
Yeah, they're drunk to the worst. So it's like you have a thing against what's his name you mentioned.
Well, kid rock. I don't have just saying I just it's the first bar that comes to mind. Okay,
have you met him before? Yeah, I told you with him. I know. Okay, I got another
thing against the kid rock. Okay. Oh, yeah, Garth just opened a bar there. Yeah, yeah, I think
yeah, it was that was you know, that was big news in Nashville.
Because by the way, I've seen it.
It hasn't opened yet.
Yeah, I think, but it's goddamn this thing is.
Cue, it's fucking, it's fucking, it takes up like,
I was like, it's like, it looks like, yeah, it's fucking it.
But look, but what do you think that real estate cost?
I mean, if you think of lower Broadway as probably the hottest real estate in the South and he owns that fucking thing.
Yeah.
Is it like right next to a police station or something?
It's a concern.
He keeps doing this thing where he posts him with the cops.
Oh, that's right.
I'll see.
I meant to bring up last since last time I've seen you.
We now know he knows who you are.
Yeah, for sure.
I didn't know about that.
That's a new thing. Yeah, so he's been laughing at you?
He's been laughing at me.
He blocked all of us.
Really?
And then he turned off his comments,
like just shut down comments on his social media.
Sometimes he opens them back up,
but a lot of times they're off now.
So what was the story I heard that so he was?
So I'm laughing to meet.
I'm trying to be, you know,
I don't want to give away the exact details of this.
But what I can tell you is somebody who knows him quite well is somebody I ran into.
And it came up.
No, but it's somebody who, would that be funny a bright pit and a guard broke something
out?
That would be actually hilarious.
This person goes, I was like, it came up because he's so well connected to him.
And I was like, he came to my show and I brought it up.
And as we're talking about it, I'm like, does he know?
He's like, yeah, of course he knows.
And I asked, how does he take it?
And he goes, he's confused by it, doesn't get it,
like doesn't get it at all.
Doesn't know why people are doing this.
And then, that's sorry.
So that was the first time I saw this person.
And then a few months went by and I guess,
because the other thing is like,
that's one of those things that actually,
even though we encouraged it at one point,
it took off on it.
Totally.
People kind of got the formula for it.
And so I used to see my, I used to see clips of me
with you talking about Garth and like, look at this.
And I was like, what do I have to do with Garth?
I mean, but also like, we won't bring up his name now
for like, that thing has taken off on its own.
So the next time I ran into this dude,
I guess he had turned
a little bit from like, I'm confused by this to like, hey, I don't like this shit that
this guy is doing. Fan out who I was and he said that, of course, when people bring it up
to him, shows them the video of me breaking my arm and like falling, trying to dunk and
he goes, karma.
Well, that's fucking awesome. I think that's so fucking cool. It is cool. Yeah, just of me breaking my arm and like falling, trying to dunk and he goes karma.
Well, that's fucking awesome.
I think that's so fucking cool.
It is cool.
Yeah, just that he knows who you are.
Yeah.
And Wheeler, it made it into the national enquiry.
That is crazy.
That's not exciting.
No, it's legitimately in the national enquiry
that Gareth is, that's what the story says
that he is fuming mad at us.
But this thing, you know, pretty cool.
This thing got enough legs on its own now,
where sometimes I'll see somebody will tag me
in the comments of something,
and it'll be a complete, like something not comedy related,
radio show or like some other podcast,
where it's like I said, not comics,
and someone will be like,
you know about this Garth Brooks thing,
and people will go like, what?
And they're like, there's like a legit theory
that he's a serial killer,
and you see people go, what the fuck?
You know what's weird, what's weird, not to interrupt?
But like, so I do this VIP thing before my shows,
and I'll, we're like 50 fans,
they'll come in and pay way too much money
to see me like talk and sing acoustic songs.
And I'll hear these people scream like,
where are the bodies?
And I asked, and one time I asked, I go, what the fuck are you talking about? They're like, you know, Tom's thing, and I'm hear these people scream, like, where are the bodies? And I asked him, one time I asked,
I go, what the fuck are you talking about?
They're like, you know, Tom's thing,
and I'm like, I know Tom, I don't know what this is,
he goes, they explain it to me at the show.
It's like, they come up to me, I don't even know.
That's hilarious.
Yeah, it's like they're just, they want it,
they want more of it, you know?
Like, I think the thing, you know what we've talked about,
things like this,
how the easiest way out of this whole thing,
like if you're him and you're desperately like,
I want this to end, is just to do like one post,
one comment, what, with a wink, you can literally be like,
hey, don't open that up.
All the bar is on there.
And it's like the whole one thing
that he was in on the joke,
people would be no more fun.
And they flip them.
And they flip. They all would be like,
that's no fun anymore.
Or they'll be like, you're the best.
They end up going like, that's so cool that you,
and they're talking to each other.
I wonder if it got big enough that,
well, he's probably so big that,
I wonder if I got big enough that he heard somebody yell
or something.
Oh, he knows.
We said our guys out.
He was on the jumbo tron.
What?
Zola was on the jumbo tron in Houston,
at the stadium show.
And he held up, like we love you,
Garth's sign, and then he dropped it.
And underneath it, it said where are the bodies, G,
and it's on the fucking jumbo tron.
Is there any like YouTube footage?
Yeah.
Oh yeah, it's fucking. It's calling it up right now. I want, is there any like YouTube footage? Yeah, oh yeah, it's fucking,
it's calling it up right now.
I wanna see the guy can tell you my Josh story.
So usually I play, so when I play a show
and if the hotel's close enough,
I'll take off my cowboy hat and my shades
and they'll recognize me and I'll put on like a hoodie
and walk back to my hotel when I played the moody.
And I heard this, you know, weeler.
I was like, oh fuck, here comes a crazy fan.
I walked and it was and it was fucking Josh.
Yeah.
Tell me good show.
Oh my Josh, it's a good thing I saw his face about to,
that was about to fucking throw a punch.
Well, you know what's interesting is, oh here it is.
Look, there's an area.
That's a lot.
Oh, where are the bodies, gee?
And it's on like the, you know, there's like 80,000 people there.
And it made it onto the jumbo trot,
and then they cut away from it.
The craziest thing about Garth is he was the biggest guy
in music, when music was the biggest.
Back when there were, I think CDs were probably what,
seven, remember how they were fucking 17 bucks?
And he was selling millions of fucking days.
By the way, only I, I think the only guy
in your business
that's still like, hey, we got a new CD DVD set coming out.
Yeah, and he said,
what do we do?
One's like exclusively a bass pro show.
Yeah, this is like at the concert.
Oh, do they break into this?
Oh, he's about to smash in this.
We love you, Garth.
That's pretty good.
That's G.
And then they cut right there.
Was it enough time for the audience to react?
I think enough people there probably said,
because we got tagged a million times that night.
A million years ago, Tom spent hours taking the Miami Sound
machine song, come on, check your butt a bit.
But you know, he spent hours layering farts into
that song.
Yes, the horns.
So like, dun, dun, dun, I'll go, oh you have, what about in farting in real time?
Well, I just had like a bunch of fart noises.
And also like, this would obviously be an easier thing for someone proficient with it.
Like, I had no experience.
So I'm like on Garage Band and it's like, and I wanted to take different farts.
So there's some variety not the same
I mean it was a master piece don't do that. You know and then there's that part where the horns go
Don't like so and I had to do like a fart with every horn
That I need put it out Duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-uh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh-duh- Yeah. Please somebody, please tag Gloria as much as we can't. Gloria's stuff on.
To talk about this, right?
Yeah.
So she wanted a new version now?
Well, I wanted her like the cigar remake.
Yeah, yeah.
We want her to acknowledge this totally,
like disrespecting the song.
Like he imagined her hearing.
Imagine her to go up to them to the boys.
Like, your band name has band name is changer the Miami part
Machine now and we got this guy up here. He's gonna fart over like fellows. Yeah, come on done so
We just did and it's like you every every day we would go on Twitter and be like we'd see how many times we're at tags
Like a hundred people are fucking tagging this or more or whatever and reach me some reach me and then one day
She responds and we're like, and we're like, can we set up a phone call?
And she's sitting there like, yes.
And then we get a number we call
and we get to talk to her and Emilio Estaphan
about farting on their song.
Did a full interview about how she wrote this song.
And then I was like, if we tore together, like, what kind of door deal will we split?
Cause I'm going to be farting a lot while you're singing.
And it was just like, but the fun thing was that like she did the thing where she embraced
such a good sport.
And everybody was like, oh my god.
And we don't, but to back to your point, we don't hear about it anymore.
Cause she was a cat fun with it.
She had fun with it.
She had fun with it.
And I mean, back in the day, this is like we were still doing this podcast
out of our home.
We weren't, we weren't,
we weren't my age.
I was probably there smelling those firsts.
Yeah, you probably.
But to this day, she's still,
somebody we love and like we stay at her hotel even
and we just, you know, should I cut her?
Hello to you, she so much.
Yeah, she's very rich.
She probably took all the early
Salmashimani.
And also it's like it's the combination of her with all those all the songs and royalties
and all that.
Let me look at the fucking.
That's the net worth of.
Jesus Christ.
I was going to say the combination of the two right because like he produced a bunch of
stuff.
What the fuck am I doing wrong?
That's a lot of money. What else is Gloria I doing wrong? That's a lot of money.
What else is Gloria?
I mean, she's got the host hell business.
But who's your host?
I don't know who her host.
Emilio Estefan.
So I think he produced a lot of their stuff back then.
Right?
Like he, does he have a,
if you had dropped down that first one,
might even have this.
I take Gloria, I get so rich.
Well, it just has them.
Seven.
It was like two, then like two, Alan. That shot does. Yeah, it just has them. Seven looks like Tim Allen.
That shot does.
Yeah, do it a meleo.
Oh, there it is.
Hit his wiki.
Cause like his background, I feel like, is in producing if I'm not wrong.
700 million.
He's goddamn.
Who's a member of the man.
Yeah.
Oh, so he went from the, from the horn player to the... Yeah.
Why don't I produce that?
But it looks like I think he wrote songs to...
Like he's actually a real...
He says BMI songwriter of the year.
Yeah, he's a real talent this guy.
But you had a good call with him and that's...
Fantastic.
And scroll down to their business interests because...
Okay, he's a producer.
He also produced other people it looks like.
And if a lobe has, Kimartan, he produced various events,
shows, scroll a little more.
Here we go.
So they own businesses, restaurants,
Miami Beach, you have that.
He's got a restaurant in Disney world.
Yeah.
Not Jesus Christ.
Couple hotels.
Hotels and also their daughter.
Mine, her ownership in the fucking dolphins.
Yeah.
Their daughter's really talented too.
I just found her on TikTok.
You know what they all say?
How we syncs.
These billionaires kids are always talented.
Yeah.
With the...
I could be talented with...
If I...
If I grew up in a billionaire's house,
you should.
You just focus on Emily Marie Consuelo Estafon.
She turned 30 million and she turned 30 million
into 100 million.
Dude, this girl Emily Estafon, if she,
she's on TikTok, she's really fucking talented.
Look at her, she plays the drums like her mom did.
Look at that, look at that, like, you know,
I'm fucking Latin drums or what not.
She can say, she's really something.
It's cool.
Very cool.
What?
I didn't know it was such a power.
I don't know how to call it.
Look at that like so fast, like the Cubans.
Yeah, but he can fart.
Yeah.
Oh, fart all over your drums.
Talent.
We'll see who people remember.
Real talent.
Yeah, she sounds easy.
By the way, I wanted to read your track list from the new album.
Side A, if you get the vinyl, born to fuck.
Money in bitches.
Dump truck.
Sniffer's row.
Skanks for nothing.
Pudding.
Finger blast.
Fuck this job.
Who the fuck,
and credit card.
Wow.
Wow, that sounds beautiful.
Yeah, that is really nice.
Do you know what Sniffers Row is?
No, no, could you tell me?
Sniffers Row is the front row of the strip club.
Wow.
We can smell the pussy, yeah.
Wow.
That's cool.
We were just talking about pussy sniffings and smells.
How many, well, you had a lot of sticky ones?
You know, I, I had a lot of sticky ones?
You know, I always, I don't really, first of all, my wife is in the lobby,
but second of all, this is Walker.
You know that I'm married to him, right?
Yeah, I know, I'm just saying is like,
no respect.
I'm trying to, like, no one who's ball smell worse than mine.
Right, that's what he was saying.
That's what I said to you.
I mean, can you, I mean balls,
balls sometimes, sometimes you go to pee,
you don't know this.
Sometimes you go to pee, and when you,
before you pee, you're like,
oh my ball, like you smell your own balls.
You know what I'm saying?
That happened to me at the airport the other day.
I was, I put, I whipped it out the piss.
I was like, Jesus Christ, what's that smell?
I really, it was, it was the space between my sack
and my tank.
And it just wafes up to you.
I was like, you got to deal with this.
Well, and you know, it's really interesting.
Female hygiene, so different than male hygiene.
For instance, after I work out, immediately I take off
whatever I'm wearing and I shower.
Otherwise, no bueno.
This guy right here, hour later, yeah,
the evening comes around.
He worked out at 7 a.m.
Hey, I'm gonna go take a shower now.
He says, I'm like, you've been sitting
in your stink all day long.
And this has no effect on your testicles or penis.
Sometimes I work out and like a sweaty,
marley workout, then come here podcast.
I can't, I'm a throw up, listening to this.
Sometimes I'll change, sometimes the biggest thing I'll do
is I'll change underwear.
I put my sweaty balls into a clean underwear.
Well that's even nice.
Sicking that doesn't clean them.
That's for sure.
Have you considered that?
I mean, that's not a bad option.
I've done it.
I like to ferment, try to give you a gift.
I feel like the shower up before I go to bed.
And I feel like two.
I feel like two showers a day is like the definition of losing,
cause I don't have, I just like, that's too much.
I do enjoy an end of day shower the most.
Yeah.
Cause I feel like if I don't all the, I see so many,
remember during, by the way, side note,
during COVID, they're like, man, this is the end of hands shaking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, shit. Everyone's fucking shaking my hand.
I don't want that shit in my fucking bed.
Well, and in the South, I feel like it
hands shaking never went away.
Even during COVID, like, we came out here
to look at houses, like, we were buying.
Everybody's like, I knew, and I'm like,
does it pay a no?
That was my favorite when they were in the mass,
shaking your hands, like, this doesn't really help.
I think that.
I think that. All right, Wheeler, is this horrible or hilarious?
I'll show you a video.
You tell me if it's funny or just sad.
I said it.
I did it!
Two!
Ah!
Ah!
Oh!
Well, if I had a third choice to be confusing,
but I guess if it's confusing, I would put sad.
Yeah, what's sad?
What's going on?
Is he trying to jump over all of those friends?
Then none of them looked at the fact
that there's a ceiling beam that's pretty low.
Yeah, that's pretty low.
Oh, fuck, I didn't see that.
Yeah, I didn't see that he had,
yeah, it's definitely sad.
Yeah, yeah, but yeah.
Because I was just like, he's got that many friends who want to just light down the ground.
Yeah, I know.
I didn't like that at all.
Well, hopefully this next one makes us all get go.
Here we go.
I don't like kids getting over this.
I think I know where this is going.
Yeah.
Oh, we know they answer that.
Are there two majors?
Yeah.
No.
He's hurt. It hurts. Are you teenagers? Yeah. No.
He's hurt.
It hurts.
But he's gonna recover.
You know, sometimes we see one of these videos and we're like,
well, that guy's dead, you know?
This is not bad.
Yeah, but do you think?
Sometimes balls don't recover, you know?
That's true.
Yeah, they can rupture them.
That looks like something that may, he may not have kids.
I don't know that's a bad thing.
Yeah, that's, that definitely stung. Yeah, can we go to the next one please? I don't know that's a bad thing, but yeah, that definitely stung.
Can we go to the next one please? I don't know you need anything.
Okay.
Shabbat! Are you alright?
Get the dog! Get the dog!
Get the dog! Get the dog!
I think his voice saved it.
I'm gonna go back upstairs, Debbie, and just be in private, okay?
That's right. That was pretty great.
He's upset, he's humiliated.
If you're listening, his dog ran out and
then he fell off the stairs out front and, well, you can kind of hear the rest. You think
you can get that bearer thing. If you want to be alone, you're pissed. Yeah. It's good
to have the awareness to be like, I need alone time now. I will say that to you. He was like,
you know what, I'm going to yell at you, Ben. Instead, I'm gonna go take a couple deep breaths.
We've been like totally, have you heard about this guy, Kevin Leonardo?
No.
So this dude, we couldn't believe that this was on YouTube.
And it's on YouTube, and it was,
you know, there's things that make their way to like,
Instagram or YouTube, but it's like, hey, you better watch this before it's taken down.
Like, you can just tell, like, this has a clock running.
I feel like they're not taking a little shit down, no.
Well, this one, just so you know, is not a joke.
This is on YouTube.
It has tens of millions of views, and it's not coming down.
Like, and we checked, and they're like,, oh yeah, yeah, no, this is fine.
For reference, this is how hairy my butt is right now.
Oh!
Alright, so step one is to squeeze this cream onto your hands.
Squeeze that cream.
It's not going to be doing just that.
Oh my God.
Alright, now it says to apply a thick, even layer to cover hair.
Do not rub it in.
So let's do that. Alright, so this is how to remove hair from your asshole with
there. And it's considered education. I was going to say maybe he said it was instructed. Yeah. It's
instructive. And and the service else teaching me and YouTube. YouTube contacted like we asked and they're like,
yes, falls under these guys. So you were born. you reported. We didn't report, we just go,
because like we go, can we show this?
Because we notice that it's up
and it has 40 something million views.
And they were like, yeah, there's art,
there's like documentary, and there's education.
And if YouTube deems it in this category,
it doesn't fall under the same guidelines and rules
as something that isn't.
Can I tell you one, too, that I don't know why it's still up, so I did this song,
Puss and Boots. I don't know if you remember. We did a nude version and a regular version.
We did one where the girls titties were hanging out. We did the clean version.
Yeah. We put the dirty version is still fucking up. Yeah. And no one, I don't know why.
It's just on you, too. Yeah. And this, hopefully, this doesn't, uh,
Oh, I have 15 million views. Yeah, and this, hopefully this doesn't, uh, attack 15 million views.
Yeah, I said, but it just has naked tits.
And they're totally fine with it.
Yeah, wow.
I don't, I think it just got, they missed it.
Really?
Yeah.
And this, is this the dirty version?
Oh yeah, there's just tits.
There's tits.
And it's not nothing instructional about it,
but please YouTube to keep it up.
Maybe it falls under art.
Yeah.
I mean, it is art.
It is definitely art.
It is art, honest.
And then we got the body double,
I think the director just like searched
for like porn actors or something.
Our tits were cool.
I saw that, both of them.
Just in case you were wondering.
This is how my butt looks.
Pre-Rins and pre-shower and post hair removal cream. I'm going to take a shower and
come back and show you what the results are. I kind of want to do that for my shower removal by nighttime skin care. This is how my
butt looks post-shower, post-rends, and post-hair removal cream. Well I mean if I don't... if I don't...
That's great! If we alerted. And he just winked his ass hole, by the way.
Yeah.
He just flex his ass hole at us.
Yeah, he knows what he's doing.
That's why it bothers me.
It's a, he's very self-aware.
He knows what he's doing.
Well, how does that, how does an air work?
It just, it burns the hair off of your skin.
It just burns it off.
But he's been chemically burned.
He's been posting wild.
No, I know.
So I've found a reason that I currently want to sleep with.
I don't agree with all of his political opinions, but I think Ben Shapiro is actually, like, low-key really cute.
Especially those old thirst traps that people, like, post of him.
I also love Jews, and I love, like, the little hat that he always, like, wears.
Like, the Jewish, like, hat.
It's, like, so cute.
He also seems really passionate about the stuff that he talks about, and I love passionate men.
I love Joyce Antenago, and, like, all of his, like, podcast clips.
He's the host of the Backyard Basement podcast podcast and he and his friend Frank are so funny.
I love them so much.
Frank, he is cute too, but I feel like Joey is more like my type
and I would 100% bang Joey, he's so cute and he's so funny.
So cool.
He's like Tom Sagarat, so fair.
I didn't know he likes that riff until like a week ago.
He seems so like funny and like down to earth
and he just genuinely seems like a good funny guy.
He's also like very objectively good looking
but like his personality like makes him like very attractive. I don't know him, but, but I'm also really proud of his success. We all know that I want to
smash that job. Why are you so not going to delve too deeply into this one? I did.
Okay, you get the point. There's a bunch of guys who, if you want a guy with no hair on his
ass, you got a guy. You got a guy, man. A crusty, post-doc to my micro when I was six years old
without my consent. And whenever I share that story, there's always some people that go like, oh my gosh like that's the only reason why you're gay like that's how gay people like
Reproduce like old crusty
Just like little kids and that's how gayness like exists and life continues. I have a good thing. I know. Why is this bad up?
That's just how he posted it. Oh
Terrible so we're talking about somebody's sucking him off when he was six. He's fucking Christ man
You don't want to spit when you don't want child
Sped up. No, I think you could take your time
And this is so fucking weird. I love to sell the black stuff
It's gonna make me kind of like build up in the corner of like your toenail like your big toenail when you clip it
And so I get really like aroused in like an honest way when it's time
It's he's he posted with this
I feel like all these these videos should be evidence that the first video should be down.
Yeah, right. Yeah, that's not education. How is this education that he likes to smell the the crest
under his. So I'm clipping and I have to have pull it because I can't like that.
I just came out. Let me show you guys.
Okay. So I love to just kind of like smell like I'm really curious. It's like, well, what that is.
And that's education.
Be cool to just like make a music video with just his ass.
Yeah.
And just like apparently you're allowed to show it.
So just do that.
Yeah, do you admit before and after?
Let's switch it out.
I mean, but this is like, hold on though.
He is a guy that likes to get laid.
He doesn't think this is going to stop him from other guys. I guarantee you it doesn't. You're a gay guy. likes to get laid. He doesn't think this is gonna stop him from other guys.
I guarantee you it doesn't.
You're a gay guy, you still fuck him?
Smelling his fucking foot cheese?
Matt may have lost interest after seeing this clip, you know?
I think Joey Santiago's gone now.
Shapiro's still in.
Shapiro's with his little hat.
With his hat, he always wears his little hat.
God.
Show some respect.
Oh, I love that he has a hat on all the time.
Geez.
What do you think this guy makes a month?
I have no idea.
You should see,
when you, can you pull up his,
what's it called?
The list of videos,
you know, his library,
because it'll be like,
I was in a car accident.
Drink this to make your come yummy.
Like it's like the weirdest back and forth.
Okay, so hit videos if you would,
and then, you know, the titles,
penis, balls, butt crack, and pits.
How I keep mine, hairless.
We know how, is he put, does he put an
air on his fucking dick? I mean, who knows? Next one, fingering my cat. How do
wax your butt? Filling up my hairy hole, soaking in piss and saliva. How I shop
lifted for eight years and never got caught. I mean, this is unhinged. I am, he's
about to be a dog. Artistic, not autistic. I Came for the third time outside
So good enough. How did he fill up his hairy hole? I'm interested. There's a whole video actually
I'm unaroused by my stepdad like what the fuck why I posted about come before Hamas
Why I posted about come before That's an actual title of it. Wait, which one? Sorry.
Why I posted about come before Hamas.
I mean, I can't.
I just can't.
I'm on around by my step there.
Yeah, actually, if you scroll a little more, we'll see that.
Yeah, yeah, that's what it is.
Like, I don't support Hamas and innocent deaths.
How to make bigger lows that taste Yamaha.
This guy's fucking out of his mind.
Yeah, I stepped out, did not get to buy the pizza delivery.
Like, what in the fuck, yeah?
So this dude, I think the butthole was a way, just his entrance point,
because no pun intended, I'm just getting you to watch all these stuff.
I mean, here's his top ranked one, those literally about to bust, has some good views.
Nair on micro-penis and balls, a visual guy, that's talking about. Oh yeah, and shows us dick and balls in that one.
It's a full dick shot.
But he does not have micro penis and balls.
Well, he has a, it's not.
Oh, whatever.
It's in there.
Like, you literally picked a video and his dick
and is in there.
I mean, he's like, dojoge.
Maybe inappropriate.
Yeah, there you go.
Yeah, that's what I would say.
It's not great.
It's not great. But y'all bet if you posted this on your video, what do you take it in?
Well, that's what was our whole inquiry.
So we actually ended up making a couple with nude models, but we had Dr. Drew come in
and do medical advice in them.
And the muscles?
One girl was topless.
It was for breast exam, and then we had a guy for a testicular exam. So those are on our clips channel, on the YMH clips,
and it's like...
And they stayed up?
They stayed up because we did what...
Oh, like a...
Education.
Like a...
Like, hey, YouTube, you can't take this down because of this.
Well, we asked them, and they were like, yeah, so...
Yeah, then he just...
There he is.
He seems excited about that.
Now, if you actually...
If you watch the whole thing Drew actually jacks him off at the end, but they don't know, it's seems excited about that. Now if you actually if you watch the whole
thing drew actually Jackson off at the end, but they don't know it's like an Easter egg in there, you know.
You just, this guy shaves his pubes off. Is that normal?
But what's he looking at? What's he looking at now? Like,
you guys really got in there. Yeah. Yeah. Well nervous. It's so close. It's thick and bugs.
And then the girl was just that was just a breast exam, right? Yeah, that nervous, it's so close, sticking balls. And then the girl was just, that was just a breast exam, right?
Yeah, that was this one.
You don't need to see the girls.
Yeah, yeah, that's what we're all here.
Nobody gives a shit about balls.
Yeah, which got more views, the tits or the balls?
I think the balls did.
Nice.
Hey, cool.
Yeah, it makes like Dr. Drew look weird, huh?
Well, I mean, he's a real physician, so.
Yeah, he's, you know, checking for,
this is instruction.
He's trying to actually.
Of course.
You know.
Interesting that the Dick and Balls
got more views than the titties.
That's weird, mate, because they're harder to find.
What's the theory on that?
Why is Dick and Balls, you think?
I think we put it up first,
so there was more hype around it.
I know that I have a hype.
Dick and Balls can be more hype.
A lot of people got mad at me
when we first posted the Dick and Balls one.
I used a photo of this girl,
and then I linked that video,
and they were like, where the fuck are the tits?
They're like, I'm just watching this guy, Balls.
Because we did them like a week apart.
People were like, you just got me to watch this guy fall for it.
Yeah, those things happen all the time.
Or you'll click on the wrong thing because yeah, like I'm,
I'm embarrassed to eat cottage cheese in public.
This guy is sniffing the dirt under the
I know we got to get this off the screen.
Hold on. Like, I got a historic to be
Last year and I kept the my uterus my cervix and all my stuff
And I keep it on a jar on my bedside there it is and sometimes when I'm bored. I take them out
Oh my god, and I try to put it together like a puzzle. No, don't touch it
And when I tell people that they're like that's so weird. I'm like, but it's my organs.
So I literally just like hold up.
So keep it to yourself.
And I'm like, I don't know, maybe that's my cervix.
I'm gonna, I feel sick.
I feel sick.
People, just these kids just want content so bad, they want views.
They really do.
I really don't think they should give you your organs
after a time.
I don't know they could do that.
I think the biohazard.
This is, she's just picking up Tai Chi and now
she's gonna fucking eat some Cheetos later
and put the fingers in her mouth.
I don't think there's probably,
there's gotta be a rule about it
because when they give me blood,
like before they put in that thing,
or like when they take blood sample,
I can't go, can I have that?
No, they're not supposed to give you your body parts. I mean this is totally
unheard. I remember when they cut my dick off to turn into a pussy I asked for it and they said
that they said they weren't allowed to get it to me. I mean uh fuck dude I just like okay I
would keep my organs I guess but I wouldn't say with them. No I don't I mean maybe but I wouldn't really want them. No, I don't, I mean, maybe,
but I wouldn't take them out and try to jenga them
fucking later.
I would not want that.
And you all put it on TikTok.
Oh.
That's kind of why here's my big thing of the past year.
Not to bust in with my own shit.
I'm off social media.
Completely?
Yeah, well, I have someone upload my shit.
I'll make videos and say, here post this.
Yeah. I just, videos and say, hear post this. Yeah.
I just, it was too much.
I just, it was, I've been a better person since I've seen it.
It's a bummer.
Really?
Yeah, I just like, what are my videos doing?
I don't fucking know.
What are the comments who gives a fuck?
I just don't, it just helped my life.
I just feel better.
Because I don't have to, because I feel like my,
I don't think any of my favorite artists
knew that much about what their fans thought I'd do it because I want to do it, you know.
Yeah, of course.
I don't want anything, I don't want to read those comments, I don't want to know which
song got more views, I don't want to know any of that shit.
I don't know, should you.
Well because then it affects how you create, right?
And like you're not creating from the outside in. You should create from the inside out.
Totally.
And then,
Stupid.
Then I don't want to be in the studio going,
oh, this kind of sounds like that song
that people, like 10 people told me to suck my own dick.
You know, yeah.
And then it'll be like, fuck, you know,
it'll mess with me.
And I've just been not having to worry about all the time.
You know, I don't know if you know,
but musicians have these, have the four artists apps
where you can see your, your streams and stuff. And like, I don't know if you know, but musicians have the four artists apps where you can see your streams and stuff.
And I deleted those because I can't,
you can drive yourself fucking crazy.
What was this?
I got more streams Wednesday.
I'm gonna do what I did Wednesday.
There's no fucking, nobody's fucking knows.
Like some song went viral off my last album.
It was just luck.
No one, it wasn't better than the other songs.
It was, it caught on with somebody that day
who probably had a bunch of followers and all those,
yeah, the fuck knows.
Anyway, I would recommend it.
Do you, are you touring right now
or are you taking a chill break?
I'm taking a chill break,
but I'm gonna do an exclusive announcement now
that you asked.
I'm doing a chill break, but I'm gonna do an exclusive announcement now the US I'm doing a spring tour okay, and I
Just confirmed it yesterday. I'm not gonna go through all the dates, but I am doing
I think 20 something dates and
The one that stuck out at me because you were talking I said I heard you talking about Portland, Maine
Yeah, we're doing so I saw on the list, I saw Nashville.
I said, I don't wanna play Nashville.
No, this is Nashville, Indiana.
What the fuck are you talking about?
What?
I'm playing Nashville, and you don't play Indiana.
I play the weirdest fucking cities.
Why are you playing Nashville, Indiana?
I have no idea it was on there,
and they paid me the money I wanted.
Okay.
And I was just like, but did you know there were such a thing?
I did not know about Nashville, Indiana just like, but did you know there were such a thing? I did not know about natural indian.
I don't know.
I've been to some like absolutely small like odd markets.
Yeah, and you hit cities, you're like, we're,
I don't even know where this is, but that's one I didn't know existed.
Yeah, that it's very rare for me to have a city on a tour where I've never heard of it.
Because you normally hit like the known.
Well, I do hit more kind of small
towns around the big city. Sure. It tends to be a little bit better for me, but nothing
that small. Yeah. I mean, I'm nothing small enough that I've got to be like, I think you're
making it up. Sure. Yeah. That sounds like it. That sounds like it. Um, and so you're going
to hit how long will this tour be? I think it'll be a couple months.
This last tour before was the first one I did where I actually,
I think you do this.
You know, do you only do weekends?
No, this tour that I'm going on is,
like usually a Thursday, Friday, Saturday thing.
Yeah, this last one was the first one where I left
for like three weeks at a time and it was fucking crazy.
It's brutal.
It's too much.
I came back, I'm just like, I don't think you guys remember
that I'm falling apart.
I can't do this.
Yeah, it's too much.
The weekends are the way to go.
I can.
Yeah, my only issue with weekends though is,
how about they always go, how about just weekends?
And Wednesday, one day afternoon.
Yeah.
And then Wednesday, when do we get back Monday night?
Yeah, and you're like, that's the whole week.
Tuesday is the week. Yeah. So the fuck is that a weekend? That's true.
So I just figure let's just stay out there. Yeah.
There's this. Where do you guys play? Where do you play in Nashville?
I've done the Ryman number of times. And it's great. This time I'm doing Bridge Down.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, that's crazy.
Yeah, that'll be my first time doing it though.
That's huge.
But like last tour was like what we were talking about,
it was like first show was Tuesday and then you would do
like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.
So it's too long, it's too much to know what to do.
Yeah, I should probably start moving back to that,
but the hardest part too is they go when they go,
yeah, I mean, like Austin, for example,
Austin's stuff plays cell tickets on a Tuesday.
I was like, then what the fuck you book if?
Exactly, exactly.
Yeah, I know.
You got to like, I would always say when on things like that,
I always tell them if they go, well, you know,
all they have is the Wednesday,
I'm like, well, then find a Saturday.
Yeah, there are Saturdays.
Yeah, make it my favorite.
My favorite was I met a musician once he was like,
he had heard the promoter at like 20 shows in a row,
he said, this is more of a walk up town.
He said, after about hearing that 20 times,
he goes, why don't you just tell me that, tell me that I suck.
Yeah, it's like after hearing so much that
people don't buy tickets here that you show
but the last second, then of course they never do.
Yeah.
He's like, just tell me I fucking suck.
Instead of pretending these fucking excuses,
boys you know on a Wednesday is tough man.
Yeah.
No, no, I want to see me.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, let's do TikToks, please.
Okay, real quick with this.
Hey guys, it's your boy Josh.
And today I'm gonna show you my piss closet
Oh
That's basically hell yeah hell yeah fuck yeah
Can we watch take time? It's basically what our boys do no I know I don't want to talk about it
My whole life is a piss closet. You really is every time I sit down on the toilet on any toilet seat in our house
It's covered in little boy piss
Everything's a piss closet and they piss on the face. you know our little guy got out of the bathtub the other night and
just stood in front of me in our bedroom and just pissed on the floor and started laughing.
Yeah, not allowed.
You laughing at me.
It's funny.
I contact and I was like, they love piss places and then we found, they took bottles of water,
pissing it, closed them and put them in a closet.
And I was like, what is this?
And they're like, what?
We sealed them.
And I'm like, not you.
You got to do can't do that.
So disgusting.
So gross.
All right.
Oh, this chick's awesome.
Whoa.
Whoa.
Prozie just listening.
It's a woman who has holes about her mouth.
She can stick her tongue through.
Because her tongue is split.
Oh, there's, let's be honest. There's a lot going on. Yeah, it's gonna say it's more than that.
The eyes are black. The face is tattooed. Face zebra tatted up.
She's got the what's the under skin like horns growing under the
she better making on TikTok because she ain't can be working on. She's
she's millions. No, no, she's good. She's good. She's actually really she ain't
getting in job with all of them. No, she's not going to wait. She's million snow no she's good. She's good. She's actually really great. She can't get in a job with all of them. No, she's not gonna wait.
She's pretty.
No, she's great.
Yeah, she like has done all this shit,
but you could tell she's pretty face.
The tat is wild though.
Yeah, it was pretty crazy.
Really covers so much.
What's that shit called that thing
under the dermis, those implants?
Like the horns.
Subdermal, emcephedrine.
Yeah, this is wild.
Do you do that? Split the toe. So, do you do that?
Split the tongue.
Yeah, they can do that to you.
So, when does it,
can you learn how to do them differently?
I guess so.
I mean, she took each side of her split tongue
and put it through two holes that she had made
on either side of her lips.
So, what do you do now?
It's kind of giving me the cruz,
what do you tell your doc that you,
I want my tongue split?
Oh yeah, that's, that's, that's nothing
comparable to what else is but she has her.
Is she a million of followers?
Yeah, well she's popular.
And then her eyeballs are tattooed black.
That's the new thing.
I want a new thing.
We find that's 20 years old,
but we've seen a lot of that on TikTok.
The eyeballs black down.
I gotta say, I still think you should consider doing that.
And getting my head shaved and the head shaved.
Well, I liked your idea of the,
look what you call it, the skull it, yeah.
That'd be so bad.
I was like, right here.
And then the hair long around, it looks fucking right.
Oh, well, I did.
I do have to comment, my wife is in the lobby
and she loves the part.
She loves the middle part.
The middle part has just been all the rage.
It's taken over the world.
People are very sad. She's like, my look too. Yeah, she was talking taken over the world Yeah, she's talking about your part. Okay
Jesus Christ, I've seen his middle part
Well guys, I shouldn't know and train two jokes of coffee between now and 4 a.m
Had a number two accident on the way back from the store
I don't act like this never This has never happened to you guys.
Because it sure happened to you when you were a baby,
even if you can't remember.
So you're not excluded.
Had a number two accident on the way back from the store.
Happened to almost every day,
jumping down my leg and everything.
Cheers, Louise.
Cheers, Louise.
I love that her handle is adventurous with Kara.
And this is just one of her adventures.
She seems like an older lady who heard
there's mine to be made on TikTok,
and she's just like, I'll talk about one, I shit my pants.
Yeah.
Yeah, don't act like it's never happened to you, everybody.
That's a...
I hate when they do that.
It's like just own the tragedy.
You don't have to spread it around like that.
Like, oh, you've never shit your pants.
Actually, I haven't like that.
I've sharded.
I didn't have to coffee servings
between midnight and 4 a.m.
or whatever it was.
No, that actually this hasn't happened to me.
Yeah, no.
This is unique to you, Kara.
This is your own adventure.
That's why these are her adventures.
Yeah.
Booty eating craze leads to rise
in deadly intestinal parasites says new report.
I thought this was unfortunately
the rise in popularity of this practice has also led to the rise in a particularly
nasty intestinal parasite. Media take out is reporting that at least three women from Memphis,
Jacksonville and Atlanta have all been hospitalized after contracting giardia after engaging in a
practice with their partners. Despite its seemingly harmless name and even more harmless appearance,
Giardia is a vicious parasite that could be deadly if left untreated.
According to the New York State Department of Health,
G.R. Dytis, sometimes called beaver fever,
is caused by person-to-person contact.
And booty eating is one of the fastest ways to contract giardia, the parasite that causes the disease.
Spread out the parasite directly from one person
to another male or especially.
She's selling you, it's a toxic, powerful natural detox.
For black people, by black people.
I don't know how it's specifically just for black people,
but, yeah.
I got a song called Beaver Fever.
I believe it.
Oh my God.
It was not, I did not know about this cure at the time.
No.
But isn't that neat, Tom?
That is very cool.
My husband's always trying to get me to eat his ass
and I hope that this video will have swayed him on this.
Well, it's only really happening in Memphis and Jacksonville,
so I didn't hear Austin on the Zodiacs to it.
No, we're not right next to it.
No, we're not actually.
We're not even close.
You hear the M where she said Texas is safe.
Yeah.
And also, it looks like it's only happening to black people, so I don't think you have anything
to worry about.
No, you know.
Yeah.
For black people.
What about your black ass?
Yeah.
I remember my big black ass hole.
It is pretty dark in there.
It is pretty dark in there.
Not that it's not that it's hairless though.
I know, I actually do want to try the nare treatment.
Yeah, I wish it would.
Can I?
Yeah, you can do every once in a while.
OK, I'll try it.
I'll help you.
Waking up in the morning, thinking about so many things.
I'm trying to wish things would get better.
I'm trying to get rid of them, but it seems to stay the same.
The poor girl is a performer.
Woke up in the morning, threw her hammock, and get her clothes on. So, the poor girl is a performer. It's like a certain duesolay type of thing.
And then she fell off the road.
I mean, that is every time, that's why I only reason I would go to any of these shows
is hoping that I get to see somebody fall.
So it's pretty cool when you get to see it.
I need that to be cool when I'm being there at that show.
Everybody stays seated like that was cool.
What else was she doing?
God.
I feel like I was on it.
I ended on her tailbone.
Yeah.
That's horrible.
Look at what you think she's hurt right now.
Oh, this has got to be.
And then have to keep going like.
So, spam jammer falling off the stage before.
I've fallen off the stage before.
As I was leaving.
Yeah, I've had that trip up on the stage. I've fallen on the stage before as I was leaving. Yeah, I've had that like trip up on the stage.
I've fallen on the stage.
Yeah, me too.
That's cool.
Yeah, tripping's terrible.
She's humiliating.
Oh, so this is a lady who works at like shelter
and she's eating cat poop from the litter box.
Eating animal shit?
Cat shit to be specific.
Isn't that amazing?
What the fuck, man?
It's called Pike Gun.
I mean, she's literally digging cat turds out of the box.
She's like, hmm, so good.
What the fuck?
No, the cat's like, no.
Oh my god. She got the right job.
Yeah, this is exactly what she should be doing.
How does that not make you violently ill that way?
It makes me sick to myself.
I feel sick too.
Today's episode is, make me sick.
I know this whole episode is.
Can you save all the nasty shit for me?
I think so, I think we did.
Sorry.
Yeah, that was fucking gross.
I want to move on from this.
So anyway, that's a historical pike.
And it's a mental disorder of people eat things like
paint or dirt or catchers or ass or ass.
Black ass specific.
Black ass.
Are you bad?
Yes, I am.
Me a favor.
Can you move the seat forward because it's hitting my knees?
No, no, no, no, hold on.
It's very, and you hold on. I didn't's hitting my knees? No, no, no, hold on. It's very...
Can you hold on? I didn't even put my seatbelt on, sir.
Can you, like, slow down?
You want to rush?
As if you're in a rush, I'm going to panic.
It's too hot in here. Can I lower this window?
Is this real?
Go ahead, man.
No, your seatbelt is really tight around my neck.
No.
Is anyone else complaining about this?
No, no, man, no, no.
Yes!
Well, then take it off.
No, I'm not, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Okay, and I don't appreciate your smart remark about me having a meeting at 7 o'clock
What you're gonna be late because of you you showed up late
Sorry about that. Okay. I'm sorry. Are you giving me an attitude sir? No, man
I'm not allowed to do is report you to Uber and soapy and you will be kicked off this this app
Tell you I've got other people kicked off
But this freaking seat is leaning on my knee.
You have to have consideration for passengers
when they got in your car.
Can I tell you, I feel, I'm on her side.
I've been this person before.
I bitch in these Uber so much.
Yeah, yeah, no.
She's really fired.
We need to just bring back old school taxis.
Like, I had to take a taxi their day home from the Austin airport
And it was so shitty like the seats duct tape the guy is driving too fast the windows won't roll up
And I was just so grateful to be in a car going home that I didn't say shit
You know what I mean like hey, you're just happy to make it there with your life. I got a ride
I got a like please shut the fuck up. There's too many privileges
Yeah, exactly now you can press like don't talk to me on the book make it there with your life. I got to ride. I got to, like, please shut the fuck up. There's too many privileges.
Yeah, exactly.
Now you can press, like, don't talk to me on the book.
Yeah.
Too many privileges.
These people need to just shut the book.
Should the Uber driver have a thing where they say,
you can't talk?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
No, they have too much,
the consumer has too much power in the situation.
Sucks.
I don't know.
I kind of feel like it's too perfect though.
Her, her bitching where, you know what I mean? I don't know. Now kind of feel like it's too perfect though. Her bitching, where, you know what I mean?
I don't know.
Now the seat belt's too tight.
I feel like this was manufactured.
Maybe, but I feel like all, we're in a world now
that you can make so much money off content.
Yeah, sure.
Everything I watch, I'm like, is really-
But also we should say that, like,
I feel like this manufactured,
but it represents a real thing.
There are people like this.
And then why, I'm wonderful.
Well, now you're bumming me out.
You don't think the lady that eats cat turd is real. No, that that is real
That's fucking real. That's very very upsetting and disordered. You said that's an actual disorder. Pica
Demental disorder. Yeah, all right. No people eat
Again the agents superior oh my god
I was submitted by our friend Connor Swindles shot out thank you
you know what you know it like that what's the guy who narrates his asshole?
Kevin, Kevin and him.
Caleb.
And they should date, because he can put his ball down
and start getting balled away.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was a metal ball.
That's actually a pretty decent size if you're listening.
I like the tagline or the thing, what is bro training for?
But that thing is so significantly sized.
He struggles a bit just to put it into his mouth,
just to give you an idea of the size.
That's not easy for him to put in his mouth.
And he swallows it, shows you that he swallowed it
and he regurgitates it back up.
And also, how do you train?
Like how do you fucking, you do this in Kermit?
You almost die all the time.
Look at the bags under his eye.
Looks like he's been doing it for like 10 years.
He's been braching his singing and stuff.
I do it, man.
He's like, I will say this.
He has mastered this.
Whatever this is.
If everyone I've seen, he's the best.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's great.
Yeah, exactly.
This is a very useless talent.
Like, what's he going gonna do with this skill?
Why even master this?
So, it's your fucking dipshit.
Yeah, like, we need, the planes going down.
We need someone to swallow bones, set it back on.
Every yep.
The album, Ram, is out now.
We'll be the Walker Juniors.
Great title again, we are.
Thank you so much.
I always a pleasure to see you guys. I love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you.
We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. We love you. on a song and the song is let's do a fuck this job fuck this job I love that
go ahead and yeah just grab your oh you go Chad's gonna help out smart Chad
he knows he knows guitars yep oh yeah he said G, his favorite place to vacation. G for gay.
G is for gay.
G is for gay.
Gay chat.
That's so gay.
I'm trying to find a way to...
Alright, so, Wheeler Walker Jr. is taking us out.
Go ahead and mute our mics.
And we'll see you guys next week.
Thank you.
Good night.
This 9 to 5 can suck my cock.
I'd rather eat shit than punch that clock Monday through
Friday as a hassle.
Everybody here is an asshole.
Today's the day.
I grow some balls
Stop checking off in the bathroom
Stop and blowing my load in the sink
And tell them what I really think
Fuck this job, fuck you boss
Fuck your profit and fuck your loss
Fuck you Linda at the front desk too
And you're in the mail room
Fuck you
This whole company gets locked by now
Fuck out yo, fuck this job
Without me here, this place is screwed
Y'all don't know how the shit I do
I should've understood from the get-go
I oughta be running this shit whole
PSI pissed in the coffee pot
Took a big dump in the parking lot
Hit a deal going to door
Kiss my ass, I'm out the door
Fuck this job, fuck you boss
Fuck your profit and fuck your loss
Fuck you Linda at the front desk too
Got in the mail room
Fuck you
This whole company can slide my knob
Fuck out yo
Fuck this job
Yeah
I'm off to chase my dreams
Crush more pussy than you've ever seen
I guess what I really mean
It's fuck this job, fuck you boss
Fuck your profit and fuck your loss
Fuck you Linda and the front desk too
Guy in the mail room
Fuck you, this whole company can slide my knob
Fuck out yo, fuck this job
Fuck out yo, fuck this job
Wooo!
Thank you very much
You're such a talent
Thank you so much
I love that song.